Deedeequest or The Wonders of Mundus: Be Careful Who You Pretend To Be - A Genderous Isekai Quest

Ace bellows, a reverberating warcry, before charging the worm. In the space of a breath she's moved from my side to driving the hammerhead of her axe into the monster, lifting it off the ground; by the time I exhale, it's landed heavily on a squirming thing disguised as a root, now leaking ichor. The blood of the wyrm is a bubbling, caustic yellow.

There's crawling movement of green shapes on the vines, and undulation of what seem to be roots between them. One seedling is snapping ripe grapes off the vine, it's vulpine snout poking out from a purple-tinged rose, stained with juice. Motes of light with the suggestion of wings dance between these, one of them settling near the wyrm and sprinkling faerie dust on it.

"Healers," I say. "Take out the sprites!"

As if it heard me, the sprite rounds on Ace and, with a soft 'whoomp,' slings a flaming missile at her. Ace was already dancing out of the way and the shot goes why, burning out on the ground.

She's not as lucky when a Seedling flicks a tail full of thorns at her, and the thorns detach. Most spatter against armor, but the force staggers her.

"Run away, you little bastards," Ace growls. "I'm trying to NOT have to hurt you!" The seedling responds with an awful gekkering.

Sekhmet leaps at one of the nearby rootcrawlers, but when it's unfazed, instead takes out their bow and makes some snap shots at targets of opportunity. In less than a second, they've bullseyed the crawling thing and the sprite that was tending to the Lindwyrm, and it's only needing to take another breath to aim that saves a second sprite, as it's able to put up a ward to deflect Sekhmet's third arrow.

"This guy is ugly," Sekh says, and now that it's wounded we can see that the crawling thing she shot is a roughly humanoid knob, like ginger, with purple flowers for hair.

Another one of them leaps at Ace - who casually raises her knee into where it's teeth would be, if it had any, bouncing it to the ground. "Yeah, I noticed," she says.

"Constructs made of mandrake root," Hikaru says. "Made, with magic, not born."

"Soon to be unmade," I say, as I gather the winds in my palms.

I blast the mandrake that just attacked Ace into the lindworm, and the caustic blood it raises does the mandrake no favors as it slams, then slides, cracking against the larger monster's scales. Both of them are driven into a trellis, and I wince as some of the grapes burst like bombs around them, wondering how much silver and gold that's worth.

Less than stopping these things from attacking another vineyard, I figure a heartbeat later.

I take position next to Ace, squeezing her shoulder briefly, blessing her with Zephyr's Grace before resuming a combat stance. She nods and grunts thanks, distracted by bigger snakes to fry.

There's the rapid phut phut phut of a longbow expertly wielded, and I hear a dry tearing half a second before another arrow finds it's mark in the Lindwyrm's hide. Sio has neatly bisected a mandrake puppet, standing at the entrance of the vineyard with the precision and speed of a gun turret.

One of the mandrakes leaps at Ace, only for her to pluck it from midair and sling it back like a baseball - grimacing, eyes never leaving the rearing lindwyrm.

The wyrm roared incoherent rage at Ace, then when that didn't move her, disgorged a spray of bile at both of us. Ace danced out of range even as it landed on the edge of the vines and withered all it touched into goop, grapes popping in chemical explosions; I motioned with my hands as I breathed out, and the winds pushed aside the still-sizzling alkaline.

She ducked a thrown ember. I turned to her, and saw her eyes and ears dart between the steaming pool of bile, and the wyrm, and me; and I saw fear there. More shot streaked past her, and she snarled, "Knock it off!"

Hikaru gestured with his staff, drawing a rune behind the wyrm, before thrusting one hand at the crystal on it's tip. A fireball erupted from the wyrm and detonated at it's back, fire licking around a seedling and mandrake as well - and licking at the trellises, grapes bursting from the heat.

"Heeks, we're here to save the vines," Sekh says.

"I - am - aware," he grunts, making minute corrections with his fingertips, trying to draw the fires towards the creeps and away from the crops.

Alesha leapt forward, shield-first, smashing a seedling against a melting trellis and into the pool of alkaline wyrmspit. It screeched in death, as Alesha slammed her shield and sword together, drawing attention, hopefully away from Ace and Sekhmet.

Ace shifted in place - and then was ten yards away, leaping over fire. A seedling screams pain, and one of the sprites drops, as her axe slides against the wyrms's scales.

I see her eyes are closed, and darting under the lids, and she suffers from it when another seedling (how many of these are there?) slams a thorned tail hard against her armor.

Sekhmet tenses, then dances through the vines, the flame and the enemy alike, daggers flashing as she cuts down some of the horde.

"This better not scorch my beans," Sekhmet snarls, raking at the wyrm with their blades.

"I'll make sure they don't hit French Roast," Hikaru mutters in response.

One of the Seedlings flung something at my legs. Grapevines started to curl around my legs, curling tight enough to hurt, even growing a small cluster of grapes at shocking speed.

So I flex my legs and draw each knee up to my belly, and grin when this snaps the vines, and turn that into a pair of snap kicks at the nearest Seedling. Something vital in it audibly snaps as I leap forward, punting it, launching it like a cannonball at the lindworm.

My path would put me in the still-steaming wyrmspit pool - so I grab a pole from the trellis falling into it, pivot around it, snap it off it's foundation and land a pole's length from the lindwyrm, wielding the stick like a spear.

God, I love being an anime character sometimes.

"If it's not broken..." Siobhan says, shrugging as she draws back her bow. One of the swarm is transfixed against the vines with an arrow immediately and another barely dodges her second shot.

Hikaru closes his open hand, and the lake of fire he created immediately dries up before Sekhmet can get too uncomfortable. He strides forward, gesturing with his staff, and then slashes with it - creating a rune and sending a stroke of lightning from it with calligraphic precision, blasting the seedling next to it - and before I can see it, it forks around me and hits one that was about to go for my ankles.

The rest of the seedlings take this as their cue to dart off the trellis, through the wheat fields and for the safety of the forested hills.

"Thanks?" I say, breathing hard.

"Any time," Hikaru responds.

Alesha just then manages to catch up to us.

"I really," she sighs, "need to invest in -" and raises her sword, "a horse."

Sunlight pours into her blade, creating a shining pillar of radiance.

"I CALL ON THE LIGHT," she snarls, as she brings it down on the Lindworm, "AS MY LANCE AGAINST THE FOE!"

The lindworm takes a moment to draw itself up to her before realizing that it was cut in half. It falls apart, dissolving rapidly into alkali and glowing motes of pneuma.

So do the other constructs.

I take a deep breath, planting my feet and the pole to loosen up as everyone else sheathes weapons and stretches. Ace's nearly deflates to half her height, given this chance to breathe, before she stiffens up again - I spare her a sympathetic look, before looking over the damage.

We got lucky. Our fight and these things could have done a lot more damage to the vines and trellises, not that the extent of the damage is good. There's a lot of grapes eaten off the vine, a lot of burned or rotten stuff, a half-collapsed row.

And a lot of summoned creatures fading fast when killed, which was definitely part of the plan.
Sekhmet shakes her head. "Our friend did a lot of damage. This isn't harvest-ruining, but lessay I've never even held the amount of cash that went down those things gullets."

"Heeks, look for the stuff they used to summon these," I say. "There isn't a pneuma source around here remotely strong enough for this to be natural, but I don't know what kind of ritual bullshit to look for."

Hikaru kicks apart a fallen mandrake. A shell of leaves falls away, leaving an effigy of straw, stained with blood and with bits of grapevine woven through it.

"The wards should have destroyed this poppet before it could cross into the field," Hikaru says. "Unfortunately, we've seen they were compromised. I could trace the blood, given time."

"Enthused wouldn't need to make a poppet," Siobhan says. "We just need the blood. This is hedge magic."

Ace looks at her hands, before nodding, a glum expression on her face. "So there's a man on the inside working for someone that wants a failed harvest, it sounds like," Ace says.

"I'm going to take another look at the wards," Hikaru says. "Try to figure out how they were broken. But yes," he says.

I leaned against the gate and took a deep breath. We already knew that someone from the village was probably helping our bad guys.

But this was pointing to someone from the village actually doing the damage themselves.

---

Welcome back to fucking Mundus. Hopefully I can resume a once per week update schedule.

Concept art by Rukafais

Ubasdjet, She of the Jar, is the goddess of medicine and surgery - of healing wounds and illness that will not heal on their own, and knowing when such efforts are futile. By her wisdom are babies delivered, cattle increased, dairy stored, pestilences cured and flour ground; she is both life and death. She bids her followers to heal the sick and guard the healthy from disease, to seek cleanliness and shun the pestilent, to know life and death in all it's forms, and to provide all aid and comfort to the dying and bereaved.

SUMMARY

Ubastjet - or as she's more commonly known, Bast - is one of the two gods with a historical basis in Egyptian religion, the other being Inpew-Euthanatos. Specifically she is based on the later depictions of her as a domestic goddess of medicine, rather than as an aspect of the historical Sekhmet; when they're conflated on Mundus, usually it's Flamma considered her wilder, untamed aspect, as they share the creation of potions and poultices in common. An invaluable goddess to worship if you do any healing or expect to regularly fight the undead, this means that all Sacred classes, Alchemists, Exorcists, Oathsworn, Archers and Enchanters - as well as some necromantically inclined Warlocks - benefit greatly from her Boons.

Least Boon: Eyes of the Healer
Another lore boon, Eyes of the Healer grants the celebrant the ability to diagnose disease, poison, or curses with a short physical examination that requires touching the subject. While this has obvious drawbacks, including the chance of exposure, it comes with bonuses to then protect yourself and heal the subject - while this doesn't speed HP recovery, it does let you quickly shed debuffs and find the source of the problem. This is not only useful when making camp but allows you to make a steady stream of income from the 'wandering healer' questlines; it's a must if you want to act the doctor or surgeon in Mundus.

This article on the Gods of Mundus is a stub. You can help by expanding it.

---

The last godpost I promised from the poll earlier, or at least part of it. More to follow.

Enjoy A Vice article on a VR headset that kills you in real life if you die in a game, created in honor of the day that Sword Art Online went gold.

DARPA researchers into Neurohelms take note.

Update this week; I'll be hosting accountability streams where I stream myself writing the damn thing on my Discord.

Jatu had the good sense to talk to her family, who could talk to the Molinaro's directly. While licking our wounds - or at least putting bandages on them - we were greeted by the sound of hoofbeats, and the clatter of a wagon; leading the too-late charge to our aid was a man, or boy, on horseback whose most striking feature besides looking very much like Lord Orlando was an alleged mustache that marked him as much an Addams as a Molinaro.

"The young lord Molinaro, I presume?" Alesha asked.
"Hardly a lord yet," he said, putting a hand to his heart. His voice, if not the rest of him, was grown-up if barely; just low enough for tenor. "Ser Velasco will do. Gods, what a mess you've found."

Found, rather than made, was encouraging from him. "You don't sound terribly surprised," I observed.

"Just because my father - how did you put it? - could not see the flames does not mean I cannot smell smoke," he said, tightening his grip on the reins of his mount, a stocky white destrier. "I've had reason to suspect outsiders have been sneaking into the village for some time."

There is a moment where my party's eyes flicker to each other, as we all wonder how much to tell the lordling. Then Ace rolls her shoulder and cracks her neck, wincing.

"And this is the first time they've actually done damage?" she asks.

"As far as I can tell," Velasco says, and all of us can exhale. His horse snorts his disdain for banditry. "Coinciding closely with your arrival. The timing is unfortunate.."

"Are we under suspicion, milord?" Siobhan near growls. Sekhmet, who was probably thinking it, tilts their head at the girl actually saying it out loud.

After a moment, Velasco shakes his head. "Not from me," he said. "As I said, the timing is unfortunate."

I nod my understanding of his warning. "We'll be careful," I say, "and I promise we'll catch the bastards."

"Gods hear you," he replies, giving us a shallow bow. "In the meantime," he adds, "it seems like you could use a ride to a temple, or at least the inn."

"To the inn, I think," Hikaru says. "Less attention that way."

We could all agree to that.

---

Velasco made a show of picking up a barrel of something or other, leaving enough for our drinks.

For a while, we nurse wine and charcuterie in weary silence. It's broken when Ace mutteres something about needing a nap and marches up to her room, presumably to faceplant into the bed.

I yawn - and it hurts, a reasonable facsimile of my side's neurons exploding in fire. I try to stop myself from yelling, bowdlerizing it into a sharp inward hiss; but I can't help but clutch at it.

Alesha puts a hand on my shoulder, expression deadly serious. "Lift your shirt," she orders, sotto voce.

I obey, letting the party's other healer examine my wounds - visually and with her fingers, which was more painful than her delicacy could compensate for.

"Chemical burn in addition to the other bruises and cuts," she says. "In places you can't reach yourself. You need a doctor, and I'm the closest we have."

I shudder, and not just from the pain. Hikaru and Sekhmet are pointedly looking away. Sio swirls her wine, and it's clear she has things on her mind.

"Fine," I sigh. "Sio, would you mind coming with us?"

Sio is as surprised by this stipulation as Alesha, and not as good at hiding it as our paladin. "Not a bit, but why me?"

It was mostly wanting someone there to prevent me from doing something stupid, but why not catch two mobs in a fireball?

"Because there's a conversation I need to have with Leesh which could benefit from your perspective," I said, not even lying.

"Fine," Sio sighed. "What's one more of these talks?"

Alesha had already gotten up, hand pointed towards the stairs.

---

My clerical robes came in three layers: the outer orange half-jacket, the light blue underdress, and a bra-like series of straps. All of them had to come off for Alesha to properly examine the damage caused by fighting things with whiptails, claws and alkaline spittle, but as I had hoped, Sio being in the room too made it less weird. No one was really paying attention; it was Just Adventurer Girl Things.

I sat on the bed with my back to Leesh; Sio took position on Sekh's bed with, I noted, a small book. Alesha made a disapproving grunt at the state of my back before gently pressing down on my shoulders - something I didn't realize I needed that badly; there were aches there I was too used to - before her hands lit up with invoked sunlight and she pressed her palms into actual burns and wounds.

It hurt, hurt like a sonofabitch, hurt so hard I swore and my back spasmed and arched involuntarily, but the pain was also fading fast - chronic injury transmuted to acute pain already fading at Alesha's touch, with Alesha's skill and a little help from Aurora.

"And I got used to doing this for other people," I sighed. "Especially Ace. That's - thanks for insisting on this," I said.

"Oh, between the two of us we have a few people to examine," Alesha said, a hint of anger in her voice. "Ace especially, given that she got the worst of it."

"Did you see the look in her eyes?" I asked. "She was scared as hell, and not of getting hurt."

Sio snapped her head up. "Then what of?"

"Losing control again, at a guess?" Alesha said.

"Yeah," I replied, flattening out on the bed. "I'm not sure I can blame her."

"But that can't have been the first time she put on the red sark," Sio said. "We're - what, all due for our first finishers, aren't we? She should at least have gotten used to it in training, surely?"

I turned to Sio, blinking.

Sio ran a hand down her face. "Gods preserve, that was the first time she wore the red. Thorne's brambled..." she covered her mouth.

"I think she's terrified of hurting one of us the next time she - the next time Berzerk triggers," I said.

"Then she needs to get over it," Alesha sighed, jabbing a scratch below my rib shut. "I hate saying it, I hate having to put it that way -"

I pulled my face back together from a grimace of pain and sighed. "But the last thing we need is a DPS afraid of doing some damage, yeah."

"Not when we know what to look for, and that healing snaps her out of it, no," Alesha says.

"There's no shame for her in trading axes for ploughshares and armor for priestess's robes to kick a ball around, surely?" Sio asked.

Before I'm able to answer, Alesha laughs mirthlessly, shaking her head. "She wouldn't be able to relax here, with danger she could stop from coming down the street and a life to get back to back home." She rolls my shoulders, and mutters: "We have that much in common."

"That's about what she told me," I said, trying to roll a too-tight neck. Leesh draped a hand in position, jerked, and I felt the soft crack as my neck regained its range of motion. "I, uh, I couldn't not talk with her about it, she's homesick as hell. Which reminds me."

Alesha made a soft noise of assent, and I continued. "I finally got to talk to Sekhmet about how she's handling all of this," I said. "I know you were worried about her."

Sio blinks, and I swear I see her ears twitch and swing a little in my direction, like mine do.

"You'd know her best," Alesha agreed.

I considered, under her touch, how to put this, and very glad Sio was here.

"...the only thing she really regrets is not having time to warn her family and friends," I say. "She's obviously not thrilled about the danger of the job, but I believe her when she says she's happier here."

Alesha raises her hands from my back, though not completely, and I hear her breath draw itself up tight. Siobhan closes her eyes for a moment, and I see her incline her head, the tiniest nod. Then there's another press of Alesha's palm against a bruise to rub it away, and I wince in pain.

"Doesn't she have anything left at home?" Alesha asks.

"You're looking at her," I said.

"Christ," Alesha breathed.

"You seem surprised that someone would willingly become a free lance," Sio said. "Gods know why I thought my alternatives were worse."

Alesha turned to Sio, and I turned my head towards Leesh, and I could see arguments forwarded, considered and discarded flickering in her eyes.

With a forced evenness, Alesha said, "There's too many people who need me on Earth for me to stay on Mundus any longer than I have to. And I don't want to leave any of us behind."

Sio held her book over her mouth. "Duties you'd rather return to, respectable domains to tend."

"It's not a question of rather or not," Alesha tells her. "I really don't have a choice; if I can return, I need to."

"I know," I tell her. "But I wonder how much choice Sekhmet thinks she has in moving to Mundus."

"She didn't move here, we di-"

At my grunt of pain, Alesha realizes she's digging into my shoulders too tightly, and starts rubbing them, sighing out a long second of ragged stress.

Sio glances over her book to Alesha, before shaking her head and putting it away.

"Sekhmet," she says, "can no more be blamed for Io's horrible mercy on your company than you can."

Alesha made a twisted kind of laugh. "It doesn't feel like mercy to me. I didn't expect hell to be tanking lightning and fire in metal armor, but here we are."

I shudder, pressing a tight spot between my shoulderblades into Alesha's knuckle. "Funny, this doesn't feel like an afterlife to me. Just a different life."

"One you can return from, if Hikaru is to be believed," Sio says, mildly. "Should one choose to."

Alesha lets out a long, ragged breath, and I realize that I'm supporting her weight as she leans into my shoulders by the palms. "I just can't shake the thought of each Player's earthly body slumped in that chair, can't stop wondering who'll see us like that."

"We didn't have a choice in coming here," I say softly. "That doesn't mean we can't choose to stay, once the chance to return is even on the table."

"Damage is done," Alesha says softly. "Wish I could let it be done."

"Save that fire for finding the ones who did this," Sio said. "I know I need to properly thank our would-be godslayers for making my home into your refugee afterlife."

Alesha dragged her hand down her face, even as I was able to laugh. "You've been kinder than we maybe deserve," Alesha insists. "And I don't mean to speak as if -"

Sio waves her off. "- The adventuring life is the closest to purgatory the disowned and the desperate will experience, as easy as it is to forget from across a gameboard. I can well believe this has been hell for you. Imagine what kind of life," she adds, "would see this as heaven."

"I'm trying," Alesha drawls, and I hear the beginning of a smile in it.

Siobhan rolls her shoulders. "This has been fun, but I have a book to finish and return. I'd ask you not to do or say anything foolish, but I've heard what you'll say when you know I can hear you, so."

I look up at her, take a deep breath, and nod. "Thanks for putting up with our nonsense," I say.

"God knows we're full of it," Alesha murmurs.

Sio walks to the door, pauses, and turns. "I do think," she says, "that you should talk to other - Mundanes, I suppose, folk of Mundus - besides me." She tilts her head to one side. "I mean, just in terms of the information you'll get, I can pass for a fucking Player."

Alesha laughs even as my smile doesn't reach my eyes. "We appreciate your insight, and will be doing a round of interviews tomorrow."

After a moment, Sio nods, and closes the door behind her as she finds - whoever she borrowed the book from.

Hikaru, probably, if not a local. I take a deep breath.

"You worry about me, don't you?" Alesha asks, softly, still pressing her arms into my still naked back.

"Isn't that in my job description?" I say, trying to drop my shoulders and rock back into proper posture. "Godbotherer, healer, therapist, punchwizard."

"And my friend, and Sekhmet's before that," she says. "Kindness doesn't become less noble for being your duty."

I shudder. "I just - the last thing we need is to be at each other's throats. I'm glad Sio understood. I know none of this is fair."

She grunts understanding, before pressing her palms to either side of my tailbones. "There's too much I don't know about Juliette's life if this really is... an improvement."

"Trust me, Ju..." I consider which name to use, shake my head and remind myself that Sekh should come out to Alesha - "...Jules has a lot going on she didn't want you to worry about. So did I, obviously, but..."

Her thumbs find a knot and whatever I was going to say can wait.

"A lot going on with you that you couldn't even think about, too," Alesha says, voice low. "Is that another reason you asked Sio to tag along?"

"Too much I could fuck up," I admit. "Gods, this feels stupid, but I didn't want to do anything stupid and I'm two for two on friendly massages-slash-healing sessions getting weird. I mean it extremely worked out for me, but -"

Alesha shushes me, and I shush.

"Worked out how?" she asks, running her thumbs along my spine.

My sigh is explosive. "I just... I have something good going with Ace, uh, which I thought you'd noticed."

"Oh," she says, and realizing she hadn't means I can relax a little. "Lucky girl, you have good taste."

Gods, I can't help but laugh at that. "Sorry," I say without knowing why. "I mean, I do feel incredibly lucky."

"Hmn." Her palms find my shoulderblades, and I roll my shoulders towards her. "You're not used to thinking you're beautiful, are you?"

My cheeks burn and I have to close my eyes for a second, take a breath for a second. "I mean, I've only been beautiful for about - how long has it been, three weeks? Two?" I joke.

Alesha is silent for a moment, and I wonder if I've said anything wrong.

"Would you like a hug?" she asks.

I blink at the question, then nod and raise my arms.

She drapes long and slender arms around my waist and pulls my back gently to her front, lacing her fingers over my navel and resting her chin on my shoulder. The front of my body is unexpectedly cold against the warmth of her skin, pale against her dark, and I shudder into the comfort I didn't realize I needed so badly.

"Don't sell yourself short, Deedee," she murmurs. "For all you don't and didn't like where you were, you've always been kind, you've always been there for us. I won't pretend this wasn't a glowup, but it's - it's only made everything else you had going for you easier to see."

"One day I'll believe it, I guess," I sigh.

I linger with Alesha for a moment, and put my hand over hers on my belly. I don't know what to say with that, and tempting as it is, I really can't let things go further past this.

And then I feel hair gliding under hair, and a sudden warmth at the back of my neck, as her lips press against it for a long instant.

"Give my love to Ace," Alesha says in my ear. "And yours, God knows you've got a lot of it. Let me know she's alright, okay?"

And that Leesh will let me go, and leave it at that, if she needs to?

I shudder, and pull away, faster than I want to, slower than I should. Grab my bra, let her help me into it, without looking at her.

I take a deep breath.

"She will be," I say. "I'll let her know you were worried."

Alesha brushes her hand against one last cut on my cheek, a tiny wisp of holy light to close the wound, then rocks back to sitting up straight.

And she nods, and I leave, head spinning.

---

And on that note, a ballot.

How much do we tell Ace about what just happened?

[] [ACE] Nothing. She'd be happier not knowing. Deedee has too much Resolve to lie to herself and to Ace in this way.
[] [ACE] That Alesha had been flirting with you without realizing you had a thing going with Ace.
[] [ACE] That Alesha was flirting with you, and with her, not knowing you were together; and that you needed to talk about it.
[] [ACE] Everything that just happened.
[] [ACE] Write-in, subject to veto.

Who do we bring with us to interview Tayeb's family? Ranked choice, top two win, last three visit another family.

[] [TAYEB] Alesha.
[] [TAYEB] Ace.
[] [TAYEB] Hikaru.
[] [TAYEB] Sekhmet.
[] [TAYEB] Siobhan Sio feels she's better off talking to the Robledas, and will lead that investigation.

Who do we bring with us to interview the Quinyones? Ranked choice, top two win.
[] [QUINYONES] Alesha.
[] [QUINYONES] Ace.
[] [QUINYONES] Hikaru.
[] [QUINYONES] Sekhmet.
[] [QUINYONES] Siobhan.

Voting will open at 3:00 Pacific. Comment, speculate, come up with ideas till then. I am so glad this update is finally up.