Fanwork#3317words
Hero
Chapter 1: The Cradle of Becoming
The boy from Earth stumbles into another realm.
The magic that takes you to another world isn't nearly as hard as people would have you believe. It goes like this;
He was born an exile to his own world. It was not a thing he dwelt on, for he wasn't given to introspection; it was just a simple fact, as inalienable as his name. He loved stories because he knew deep in his bones that he belonged in some finer world, Middle Earth or maybe the moons of Jupiter, but mostly just wherever dad had gone to.
Back when he was a kid his father had promised him he could come live with him in London, so he'd told the other school children that this was his last year here. That his father was going to scoop him up in his great big arms, press him into his jacket, and carry him away, far away, across the ocean, across the world, to places foreign and strange. And he'd known in his heart that everything would be different there, because nothing half the world away could ever be the same. Then he'd get home from school and let himself in the house, and if his mother was slumped comatose in front of the TV he'd give her a hug, and then he'd run up to his room, pull the great Atlas of the world from its hiding place and pour over the map of England, and it seemed that the grand adventure could begin at any moment.
In the end, his father had sent him a novelty T-shirt. Then dad had gotten a job at a multi-national oil company, making more money in a year than mother earned in a lifetime, and without a thought he'd shed his old life and disappeared into a fairy-tale of wealth, power, and freedom, never to be seen or heard from again.
So he'd grown up. He'd tried his best, but his best wasn't good enough, nothing about him was good enough, so after that he didn't bother to try at all. Time stretched out, each day indistinguishable from the last. He skipped school and there were no consequences. He went a week without speaking to another human being, and no one but him noticed. He rejected the world, as it had rejected him, and he felt within himself a great emptiness, of that true and perfect freedom that can be had only when there is nothing left to lose.
Once he had seen and felt all those things he stumbled upon the other worlds, close as fingerprints on skin, and nothing left to keep him from them.
Chapter 2: That Which Will Burn
He walked through groves of cinnamon trees, crushed the hard little pea-sized fruits beneath his feet and breathed in deep the scent. Between columns of autumn trees, whose fallen leaves covered the ground in a patina of gold. He slept in meadows of thick, sweet-smelling grass, pale lilies bent about his bed like a halo, beneath a night sky bright with majesty and glory. He walked in shadowed valleys, between mountains so high he cracked his neck just to see see the shining white peaks that cut the clouds like knives, waterfalls falling about their granite faces like bridal-veils. He knelt and drank by fast-running streams of water, clear as glass and so cold his teeth ached, blinking in surprise to see the wide-eyed child with twigs in his hair and mud on his face looking back.
He was a plump little son of civilization, and the boy scouts had taught him to eat the berries and herbs the animals ate, so for a while he lost himself in the wonder, years and pounds falling from him unnoticed. He caught a fish once and ate it raw on a bed of miner's lettuce and blackberries, and called it sushi. His only spice was hunger. It was the best meal he'd ever eaten.
As his hunger grew a mood took him, such that he took off his shoes and walked barefoot, to better feel this strange new world. He breathed the thin mountain air until it felt like home. He rested in hidden places, quiet as the silence between breaths. He watched the moon change its face. He witnessed a unicorn, swift as the rushing rivers and shining as though warmed by some otherworldly sun, and the sound of the wind upon its horn was a song. He saw nothing that was not holy.
Perhaps he would be there still, grown to solitary manhood in those mountain, but just as change is inevitable, so too was the coming of his first mentor, the Moth Sage.
...
The mist came first, heralding his arrival.
Soft plumes of white, rising from the river like an exhalation, unfurling up between the ancient trees, muffling the world in moth's wings. Moonlight struck these pearly curtains and was caught, so that every bead and hanging breath shone with light, silvery and fair to see. The boy stood motionless within a forest glade, licking red berry stains from his fingers and lips, letting the great aerial rivers of mist brush his face with cool fingers.
The mist thickened, from effervescent vapor to woolly soup, so thick that to breath was to drink. The light darkened to twilight. The world was soundless, shapeless, unformed. Only then did the sage appear.
"A napkin, boy," he said, tearing a ribbon from his cloak proffering the aforementioned linen. He sniffed. "Well, are you going to take it? Or have you gone entirely feral out here?"
The Moth Sage was a thin old man, with grey eyes and grey hair shaved down to a fuzz. His clothing consisted of countless ribbons, strands, tassels, cables of grey silk that floated all around him in the mist, as though he stood not on dry land but underwater. A great fan of ribbons rose around him, like the fan of a peacock's feathers bleached into grey, while even more ribbons trailed back into the mist, so that he looked less like a man than a man-shaped extrusion from the mist. He stood just at the edge of visibility, and so thick was the mist and so diaphanous the cloak that where the mist ended and the man began was impossible to say.
"... I'm already clean," the boy said.
"Manifestly untrue.The depredations of the wilderness may be repaired in time, but a lie, once spoken, can never be unsaid. Take the linen and return yourself to a state of at least approaching that of a civilized human. Good, good. I am Shade, the Moth Sage. You are the child of prophecy- now don't make that face at me boy. Prophecy is not to be gainsaid."
"I'm not a child; I'm a teenager."
A raised eyebrow. "Oh? My apologies for the mistaken identification, though I'm afraid it's an easy mistake to make. From your silence I presume you have no objections to prophecy?"
"I'll do what I want, when I want, how I want. Life happens on my terms or not at all. That's all the prophecy I need."
"Very bold of you. I assume spending these past few months wandering the woods half-naked while slowly starving to death was what you wanted, then?"
"I assume you want something from me, despite me being the half-naked starving savage?"
"The powerful might walk between the worlds merely because they will it, but for you and I,
want alone can pierce infinity." There was something guttural about how he said 'want', wet and hungry and angry and longing all at once. "A man wants immortality. A father wants his son. A son wants his father. The lonely want to love and be loved. The broken want to be made whole. So has it always been, so it will always be. Your want reached out across infinity, and in this place found an answering echo. But your journey is not complete. I will show you the beauty of this world, and lead you to the Tyrant who has authored its suffering. In return, I ask only that you stay true to yourself, for your own inner nature will drive you far more cruelly than a tired old man like myself ever could. Such is always the nature and fate of the hero."
The boy hesitated.
"In addition, as my apprentice you'll be taught magic and and the secrets of this world. There is also a stipend, which you many spend on wine and whores, or whatever else you please."
"Alright. I'll come."
Chapter 3: Forge of Heroes
The world taught him peace, the princess taught him love, Moth Sage taught him magic, but the Tyrant taught him hate, and it was that lesson that was essential.
He saw the sack of the city of Water-Song, when the rivers and waterfalls of that great city ran black and red with ink and blood, and the child brothels and the clink of chains and cries from within, and the whole race of short, malnourished slaves bent and scarred from a lifetime of toil.
There are some evils that ought not to mentioned, for to speak of them is to inflict some fraction of their inhuman cruelty and lunatic misery while offering no response.
The memories of what he had seen he kept with him like a fire, even when the heat of it burned, especially when it burned. Hate remade him, burned away merely human impurities like fear and hesitation and guilt, until all that remained was a Hero. That is all that needs to be said of the matter.
Chapter 4: Lament
Here is how they died:
His mentor, the Moth Sage, died first. The blade cut open his great cloak and the Hero saw that there was no flesh or blood beneath, only emptiness. The Sage smiled a little sadly and took a step backwards into the ever present mist, until he seemed nothing more than a mirage, a trick of the mind that saw bodies and faces in the indistinct patterns of light and dark that lurked at the edge of vision. Then the wind came and carried the mist away, and he was gone.
Constança the rogue died in the torture chambers deep beneath the palace dungeons. The Tyrant told him later how she died, casually describing her torments between blows.
When Ásvaldr the warrior was slain six Valkyries came for him, their mail armor drenched in blood and spears shining, and sang
Here lies Ásvaldr
Weep Illium, for your son lies broken
Who succored the knight of Greenford
The falcon-bearers' friend
Who slew the beast Lycaon
Weep, oh maidens!
No marriage-gift shall he receive.
No fair children shall he bequeath
No stout household shall he erect
But for the worms shall he remain
Let no joyful voice come
Let the stars of twilight therefor be dark
For in the house of the wicked comes rejoicing
For the black one laughs in his pit
Here brave Ásvaldr lies fallen.
His like will not come again
Opolla the Sun-Priest called upon the fullness of his power and was consumed. The twilight sky was an abyss, darkness secured to the vault of heaven with stars like silver nails, but he grasped the noonday sun from below the horizon and drew it up over them, wrapped half the world in the pure blue of the infinite sky. And for a moment he stood over them all, Phaéthōn in his father's chariot, and his face was like a mask held before the sun, and from his eyes came great pillars of celestial fire, and when he spoke it was with divine fury, a tongue that lashed the earth like the sea in storm and lips from which dripped the blood of the sun itself. Then the moment passed and he was gone, and not even ash remained.
Jedda the Wit died of starvation. The Tyrant had driven them to the desert, where madmen and prophets go to find god and death, and bent his will such that every spring was dry and every beast fled. Jedda joked that he bequeathed his tongue to the Hero, in hopes that it might introduce some measure of playfulness and wit to his taciturn nature. So when at last he starved to death and his body was divided to be eaten, the Hero claimed the tongue as his inheritance and ate it.
Of the death of Nuadu of the Tuatha they do not speak, but some say that the night after the battle of the Whispering Gate a great owl the size of a person rose from the Hero's camp and flew west, across the Great Sea, and was never seen again in mortal lands.
As for the princess, slain by the Tyrant in the last moments of his life, the Hero held her in his arms and wet her face with tears, as he begged her to tell him her name, tell the Hero his own name, tell him why he cried, tell why he loved her, tell him anything at all, for he had burned his soul for power and only wane fragments of the Princess and the Hero remained.
Chapter 5: That Which Remains
They called him a hero, and he remembered when he thought that being a hero was something desirable, rather than an implicit demand that he give everything of himself and gain nothing in return. When he'd thought that real power, the power to change the world, came from having something to protect, something worth dying for. Rather than just being really, really good at precisely manipulating magical energies in such a way that they killed all the right people. He didn't want to be a Hero anymore.
And so, when the last ceremony was finished, the last accolade bestowed, the last celebration come to its conclusion, he headed south.
At first he'd promised himself he'd walk until he found a place where he didn't draw crowds of the grateful. Then he promised himself he'd stop when travelers no longer boggled in shock at the sight of his face. Then he promised he'd stop when he couldn't get a free beer in one of the many inns he passed.
He broke those promises, just like he'd broken all the others. He walked until he ran out of road, and then kept going.
They'd always told him he didn't know when to stop.
...
Whenever he grew still the past encroached on him, for though he'd burned his very soul a bare handful of memories had passed through that fire and been reforged, made imperishable. He felt like a ghost, stretched and faded thin, bearing within memories so hot and bright that at times he grew confused, a part of him disbelieving that mere remembrance could impose itself on him so much more powerfully than the grey nothing of the present, or that he could ever have become this tired broken old man resting by the side of an old, overgrown foot path.
He remembered when he walked through Sentinel Forest, where trees like titans stood in solemn splendor, with limbs the size of the Giant Sequoias of his home world raised to the heavens, their roots piercing soil and stone to drink deep from the aquifer they called Iophiel's Tears. He remembered the sound of the wind in that forest, as soft as two leaves clasping hands in prayer, as loud as a million-voiced choir. He waited till night, then climbed to the top of the highest tree and saw stars beyond number, bright enough that the shadows of a billion stars lay about his feet like an aura of darkness.
(He'd started walking down the path again, but slowly. It was spring and the whole world was blooming, which mean that the allergies he'd developed in the past few years had him wiping mucus from the faucet that was his nose every few steps.)
He remembered when he wrapped the selkie skin about his naked body, pressing it tight against his abs (abs!) and shivering as the cold flesh adhered itself to his dick. The skin thickened and grew around him and there was a moment of profound discomfort, like being buried alive, then he wasn't being buried within the skin because he was the skin and the skin was him.
But his explorations of his new body were quickly and rudely cut short. "Off you go" princess said cheerfully, and with a womanful heave sent him flying off the boat into the ocean.
He slid into the water like a knife. He breathed in the ocean and it was like inhaling steam or fog, like when he used to sit in the shower and turn the temperature as hot as he could stand and just relax. He plunged downward, his sleek seal-body scything through the water. Down, to the very bottom, where leviathans slept and waited for Rongomai's Harpoon to pass once more into legend and myth, to the sunken city of Ys, where the Abyssals lived in great palaces carved into the stone-flesh of a nameless dead titan, and where a single ray of light was punishable by death. And finally, to his audience with He-Sings-The-Deep, lord of the Aphotic Throne, the last of the Great Alliance to still defy the Tyrant and live.
(It was time for lunch, so he rested and whiled away the time fishing. The ice-cold mountain spring water burned his mouth, and the fish tasted of soft cardboard.)
He remembered, again, when she died.
He should turned the Sacrean bread-basket into a desert watered only by tears. He should have sought out the Unseelie courts and sworn to take on their tithe to the Prince of Light. He should given the fishermen of the sea of teeth their harvest. He should given the daughter of the king of nightmares what she'd wanted. Maybe then he'd have been strong enough to protect her and deserve her.
She died again, and his soul was alight again, burning, but in that agony there was the relief of knowing that he deserved this. He burned his soul and laughed, for his life was worth nothing, and so nothing of value was lost. And he felt within himself a great emptiness, of that true and perfect freedom that can be had only when there is nothing left to lose.
Once he had seen and felt all those things the Accursed came for him, and there was nothing left with which to deny him.
Chapter 6: A Simple Transaction
Happiness is a paltry reward. A momentary, fleeting thing. Meaningless, worthless. If he had it, he wouldn't even know what to do with it.
He lost his war because he was too weak. He lost his friends and allies and companions and mentors because he was too weak. He lost something of himself because he was too weak. He lost his wife because he was too weak.
He will not be too weak, not anymore. They will know his coming, they will feel the shadow of his power upon them, his decimation scouring them of their strength. Once he was weak, but now he will never be constrained again.
He could call his wife back with a wish, but he will not. Not until he is strong enough to protect her, not until he knows he can keep her safe.
(He will never be strong enough to save her. To one who has known famine, a shadow of that hunger remains forever. To one who has known war, the potential for violence remains but a breath away. To one who has known loss, the certainty of death is absolute. He will never be strong enough to save her.)
"I accept," he told the Accursed.
Nothing could be simpler.