It comes to mind, sometimes, that you really need more adults that you can confide in. Mostly because you keep coming to the same place with all your problems and that's probably not the best thing you could be doing.
But it's not like you see a better option here- everyone else is either involved, unaware, or socially maladjusted- so back to the shrine you go. Koromaru's a bit too big for you to pick him up now, but he still greets you, and that's... you think it's a good thing.
Nice to know that some things never change.
"Saito-san? Could I talk to you about something... personal? It's... not something I can really go to someone else about." You hope you don't sound too nervous about this, but you're not sure there's really a good way to handle this kind of thing. Certainly, if it exists, you've never heard about it.
"If there's nobody else you can go to... then go ahead."
You nod, glad for the fact that the shrine is more or less empty today. Even Morgana's gone off somewhere, and you're sort of glad for that- you can't imagine that he'd be able to add anything rational to the conversation.
...Actually, you think you could list his responses to everything word-for-word, and they wouldn't really be helpful.
"So, um, I'm not sure if I've said anything about this, but... Do you know how I ended up living with Kirijo-san and the others?"
"I seem to recall that you wanted to know about your magical abilities, and thought that they might be able to tell you about it, and you eventually offered to join their group." That's... a vastly condensed summary, to be sure, but it's not like you've been talking to him a lot about the more supernatural occurrences in your life.
"That... basically, yeah. But... the only real reason I ended up there is because I didn't have anywhere else to go. Not really. It's just-" You can't really think of what to say, for a moment, so you distract yourself by petting Koromaru. That always makes you feel better. "...Well, you've probably figured out by now that I don't have parents."
"I... had suspected as much, though I didn't want to say anything."
"Right." Because of course he'd figure it out. No responsible parent would let their young child join a group dedicated to going out at midnight and fighting monsters. "Anyway, if you were to ask almost anyone what happened to Mom, they'd say that it was an accident with a car. I tried saying otherwise, but... they didn't listen to me." Because you're just a kid. At least, that's the charitable interpretation, and it's the one you're sticking to.
"...Would I be wrong to assume that the incident took place exactly at midnight?"
You shake your head. "I couldn't really remember until recently, because apparently Personas can mess with their wielders' minds like that, but... It started with a Shadow. That wasn't great, but they don't really go inside building's if the door's closed, and it couldn't fly, so it... shouldn't have been that bad. Mom hadn't been out of her coffin before, didn't know what anything was... I tried explaining things, but I didn't really know anything, either, even if I'd been awake there for a while. But... I told her it'd be safe, if we just stayed inside, and didn't let it know we were there."
Maybe if you'd actually tried running away... but no, that'd just attract attention, and you would have been helpless on a battlefield back then.
"Did it not work?"
"N-no, it worked just fine, just... There were other people there, who had Personas." You're not going to give any names, not quite yet, you're not ready for that part. "Their Personas were strong, but the Shadow was strong too, and- D-did you know that- that a Persona User could lose control of their powers, if they're stressed enough?" You pull Koromaru onto your lap. He whines, but doesn't try to leave. Good dog.
"No, but it does not come as much of a surprise, from what I've heard about that power. I take it that's what truly occurred?"
You nod. "I-I know who it was, too. But... I don't know what to do about it. Ne- My Persona wouldn't even let me really remember what happened until this week, even though-" He was right there. And no matter what Nemi says about Shinjiro-san having suffered enough... Well. You'd be a bit more inclined to listen to him if he hadn't made you forget about it in the first place.
"Do you intend to do anything about it?" Saito-san asks, hesitantly. A few months ago, you would have nodded without really thinking about it, but...
...Well, it's Shinjiro-san. Who seems to be spending most of his time finding new ways to punish himself while Sanada-san tries to talk him out of it. Honestly, you think the worst thing you could possibly do to him would be not letting him know you remember. Which... you might. Maybe.
At the very least, it's a less permanent state of affairs than your more... drastic options.
"I'm... not sure. That's... sort of why I need help." You'd think that would be obvious.
Then again, this probably isn't the sort of situation that Saito-san usually deals with. You don't think there's anyone who usually deals with this kind of thing, it seems like a fairly specific scenario.
Which is... probably why he doesn't offer you any real advice. Instead he just tells you that, whatever you choose to do, you should think it through before you act. Like you weren't doing that already.
Still... you think it helped, a little, to talk to someone about this, even if you didn't go through the whole thing. At the very least, you can probably make it through the weekend so long as you don't have to directly address Shinjiro-san.
Honestly, that's probably the best you were ever going to get.
The weekend brings your first batch of classes on how to properly use a spear. Well, professional lessons, anyway, you remember your brief run through of the basics well enough.
You're praised for having a naturally good grip and stance, though you're still probably going to stumble around with your weapon until you get used to the weight. If you can.
There's this odd thing about the spear Ikutsuki-san gave you. It seems to shift, every now and again, whenever you attempt to wield it rather than the wooden practice spears you're given access to. It keeps to the same general shape, but other than that... you think you'll stick to the practice spears for now.
You also don't talk to Shinjiro-san at all over the weekend, and you think people are starting to notice you acting oddly, but the one time Kirijo-san tries asking you about it, you make an excuse that you need to plan out your next week.
...You think you have a problem. (Pick up to three.)
[ ] Spend time with friends.
-[ ] Maiko and Akira.
-[ ] Kirijo-san, Sanada-san, and Shinjiro-san.
-[ ] Saito-san and Koromaru.
-[ ] Morgana.
-[ ] Lavenza.
[ ] Do things in the library.
-[ ] Study. (+Knowledge)
-[ ] Try to read that book of fairytales without concussing yourself. (+Courage)
-[ ] ...Again, why is that collection of medical textbooks there? (+Diligence)
[ ] Practice Channeling
-[ ] Kouha
-[ ] Hama
-[ ] Cruel Attack
