Flandre's Quest (Touhou) World - (Madness Quest)

"This is a normal thing in Gensokyo, you know," you begin, drawing their attention to you. "If you're out in the open, unless you take precautions, at some point you're probably going to be attacked by fairies. Except for certain places, residences can be attacked - you remember that even Reimu had a fairy problem, right?" Ilya pushes off Leysritt and swims into you, holding onto you as you float in the water, and Lulu pouts jealously.

"You guys don't have a fairy problem," Vita counters, but Remilia shakes her head.

"Gatekeepers are not merely status symbols." You nod, ignoring the knight's scowl, and turn back to Fate and Nanoha.

"There are a few things about fairies I don't think you really get," you say, smiling at Fate's frown. "First, fairies are immortal. Even more than youkai, they have no fear of death; pain, yes, but if you kill a fairy, it'll just come back to life, as if it had never died." Agito snorts, and when you glance at her she splashes you playfully. Right, you used to think she was a fairy, didn't you …. You turn back to the others and shake your head, counteracting the anticipated question. "It is possible to completely kill a fairy, but those ways tend to be pretty difficult, or at least very impractical." You glance at the scrying, and the mermaid seems to be winning handily, effortlessly evading the fairies' scattered danmaku while scattering or shepherding them with her own. "Anyway, the point is that you can't get rid of fairies, and because they think so differently, they're difficult to reason with. Worse, they usually have bad memories; you can't trust them to actually remember any threats you make, or promises they made, so trying to get them to stop doing something they think is fun isn't going to work very well, because they'll think of something fun to do, which is probably just going to be the thing you don't want them to do, and actually forget what they promised." Remilia coughs gently and 'sits up' in the water, wings turned forward to provide buoyancy, and you nod for her to interject.

"It is often repeated that fairies are stupid or idiotic, and to a great degree this is true. The vast majority of fairies due not possess any great reserves of intellect and can be fooled easily. What Flandre has just said, however, is at least as applicable to the idea as their intelligence: fairies have their own perspectives, their own views on ephemerality and permanence and what is important." Fate's eyes widen and she looks at the fight between youkai and fairy with a slightly horrified expression.

"They … they're children. Children who can't learn or grow …." Nanoha winces and sets her hand on Fate's shoulder, and Remilia makes a weighing gesture with her hands. You merely shrug.

"That's one way of looking at it," you say before twirling Ilya around and sending her gliding through the water toward Lulu. "It works another way, too: fairies are weak. Losing to a fairy would be like losing to a child, because they're only as physically strong as their appearance suggests, and not really any stronger magically, either. Most youkai would probably be able to wade through those fairies without much thought. A really powerful fairy is about as strong as a weak youkai, and normal fairies are weaker than humans." Homura raises a hand, treading water until you nod at her.

"If all that is true, why would they pick a fight with a youkai? Even if they are stupid, surely they must learn eventually." You nod, then shrug.

"If they picked a fight with that youkai. Watch them for a bit." The fairies, now short a few members who float helplessly in the lake, continue their erratic flight patterns, sometimes colliding with each other as they frantically try to avoid the youkai's waves of danmaku. "Look at the fairies' danmaku - it doesn't even penetrate the surface of the water, it just bursts on impact. They may have been trying to perform a prank of some kind, or they may have just been playing a game of their own making, and the youkai took offense and attacked them." Nanoha shakes her head, confused, and holds her Device.

"So we -" You shake your head sharply, water flying from your loose hair.

"Sit back and enjoy the fireworks until they finish. Fairies aren't a danger in combat; some of their pranks can be harmful, but they aren't malicious entities. Besides, fairies are very curious. If you went to try and break things up, you might well attract more of them, because they'd notice that a powerful magician is doing something, which must be interesting. So you'd have to make sure you got them all quickly, probably without doing anything flashy … and you still wouldn't actually solve anything unless you want to make 'standing watch against fairies' your full-time job." Megane winces at the sharpness in your voice, but Nanoha and Fate finally seem to have figured it out. They're not happy about it - but them actually understanding Gensokyo a bit better is more important than their happiness, especially if other Mid-Childans do come. Neither you nor Remilia are going to enjoy having to explain basic things like fairies to every visitor, or have to explain to some youkai that, no, they can't eat the non-Gensokyoan even though he interrupted the fun he was having bashing around fairies. You float forward until you reach them, then pat their heads patronizingly. Vita scowls, but Nanoha looks a bit cheered up. "Just enjoy the show. Youkai fighting fairies, or fairies fighting each other, is something that happens pretty commonly, and if they play some danmaku, you usually at least get pretty lights out of the deal." Fate nods slowly and you drift away, toward Lulu and Ilya. You wrap your arms around the Mid-Childan mage, squirming a bit until you get in the right spot so you can hug her while Ilya hangs onto you, and watch the mermaid clean up the fairies.

"Hah! I knew it! Australian dolphin shark!" Everyone except Sakuya turns to stare at Remilia as she splashes emphatically, and you turn back to the scrying image as her lips move with imperceptible speech - or, possibly, just a spell. After a moment, whatever your sister saw pays off, and a huge wave surges over the remaining fairies. The youkai, unharmed and unmoved by the wave, watches as the fairies are swept away from the lake and deposited on the shore, then turns toward the source of the wave: a red fish of some kind. You narrow your eyes as the youkai and the fish talk to each other - two youkai? - and the mermaid looks away from the fish and toward … your group, apparently. Hmm ….


What do you do?

[ ] Show's over, go back to playing.

[ ] Ask Remilia what an Australian dolphin shark is and why it's so important.

[ ] … Maybe go see what they youkai are up to, and subtly imply that disrupting your little party would end very poorly for them.

[ ] Other?

[X] Ask Remilia what an Australian dolphin shark is and why it's so important.


You try to remember if you've ever heard of dolphin sharks, Australian or otherwise, but nothing comes to mind. "Pache! Pache! Australian dolphin shark!"

"Um, Remilia, I'm … a little busy right now …. Very delicate …." You frown at the magician's voice - unsure and unsteady, like she's doing something she's never even heard of before and has to perform flawlessly. Your sister scowls and crosses her arms as her wings scull rapidly to keep her in place.

"What is an Australian dolphin shark, anyway? Why is it so important that you found one?" Remilia doesn't respond immediately, instead just staring into the lake for a moment.

"… I do not actually know if that is what they're called, but they look like dolphins, act like sharks, and are nearly unintelligible. And there should not be one here. Patchouli did not believe my suspicions, and neither of our scryings could locate one to verify its presence. Two years we have searched fruitlessly, and now one appears through simple happenstance." Remilia shakes her head slowly, but you aren't the only one to figure out what she means through what she isn't saying.

"So if it's here, then it's here because of you, right? A mistake you made?" Vita looks at your sister triumphantly, at least until Nanoha raps the top of her head with a hard knuckle, but Remilia barely pays any attention to her.

"That is the worry, yes. Was a mistake made with a portal, and if so, where is the connection? Did it manage to come through on its own somehow, or did it utilize another form of transportation? Is it, in fact, truly not native to Gensokyo?" She waves her hand, and with a ripple of dim red light something Patchouli-like appears above the lake, flushing with embarrassment. You blink and stare at her - you're pretty sure everyone does, apart from Remilia - but since your sister doesn't seem concerned, you shake off your confusion at her appearance and make sure neither of your friends slip into the water before their legs start working again.

"Yes, Remilia, I see it," Patchouli says, voice still quavering slightly.

"So I want to run a test right now. You don't need anything before you can help, right?" Patchouli nods, but her face goes red once again at your sister's next question. "That's Deis's work, right? She has good taste." The magician recovers her aplomb and settles onto the surface of the lake, but before she can even begin reciting a spell, Nanoha splashes the water, drawing their attention back to her.

"Um, wouldn't it be better to just ask if anything unusual happened to it? Before you start casting spells at them?" Patchouli frowns and Remilia shakes her head.

"The portals and their capabilities are not yet common knowledge, nor is the fact that you all are not merely visitors from the outside world. To ask seemingly absurd questions would force youkai to review their positions, particularly were it to be suspected that we do not have complete control over what enters Gensokyo and how. The test we will perform will measure the thing's existence, and depending on the result may determine whether we need to speak with the youkai and what questions we should ask.."

"The testing spells are non-invasive," Patchouli begins, and linked triangles appear below her, shimmering in her rainbow hues as Remilia rises to stand next to her. "And they are much less obvious and time-consuming than the mind-muddling spells we would need to distract them from any unwanted questions." The triangles stop shimmering and the colors begin tracing their way through the pattern in a wave - and when Remilia taps her wingtips against the pattern, it sparks, jumping and accelerating the pattern until it's nothing but a blur of color that melds into red. The color flows up, tracing over your sister's body … and after a few seconds she shakes her head and the colors vanish.

"No, it is unrelated. He has been here too long." Remilia sinks into the water, looking more worried than worn, and you look back at the subject of their investigation. But the fish youkai is gone, and the mermaid is approaching you. Remilia shakes her head again, then turns to face the mermaid as the humans cluster in defensive groups. Stupid youkai, spoiling all your fun and making things awkward ….

"Good night, Lady Vampire, and I hope I am not disturbing you," the mermaid calls out to Remilia, speaking in the stiffly formal manner of the utterly terrified. "It is truly a great honor to witness you." Remilia bows her head, and you see the mermaid's eyes flicker over your group before fastening on your sister once more.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, singer of the lake. Your battle was an exquisite display." The mermaid ducks her head, putting her face into the water, then looks up nervously.

"I humbly receive your praise, Lady Vampire. Lady Vampire, as you are knowledgeable and wise, might I perhaps benefit from your wisdom?" Remilia nods briefly and sweeps her hand, gesturing for the mermaid to continue. "… Lady Vampire, would you perhaps know of the strongest fairy in this region?" Remilia pauses for a moment as if in contemplation, then nods once.

"The ice fairy called Cirno is the strongest fairy around this lake, and she is perhaps the strongest fairy in Gensokyo at this time. Certainly, if she is not, then she could contend with whichever fairy holds that title." The mermaid frowns unhappily, then looks hopefully at Remilia.

"My friend once fought against a group of fairies, and though he defeated most with great ease, and had only minor difficulty against Cirno, a fairy of great power was able to easily deal him grievous wounds and drove him to panic and great fear. We have encountered fairies since that occasion, including Cirno, and though we have defeated and interrogated them, all have claimed that Cirno is the greatest fairy in Gensokyo. The ice fairy herself alternates between not remembering the incident in which my friend was wounded and claiming to have driven him off herself." You puff out your cheeks in frustration, unsure whether you should feel humiliated or enraged at being mistaken for a fairy. Even for being relatively unknown, surely you don't feel like a fairy! "We have sought this … fairy queen in the hope of apologizing for whatever had been done to earn her ire, that she would send the others to draw my friend to the land that he might be attacked, and to ask for peace between us." She stops speaking abruptly, hesitating to continue, but Remilia inclines her head politely.

"I have not heard of such a fairy queen, as such beings are far beneath my notice, but should my ears happen to hear reliable rumors of such an entity, I shall send a messenger to you, singer." The mermaid half-dives in an exaggerated bow, then bows more normally several times.

"I thank you, Lady Vampire, for your unrivalled generosity! Should we find anything on our own, we will of course send word immediately, that your own servants should not need to be sent away from your side. I shall now retire, that you need not be separated from your court any longer!" She dive-bows once more, then flees into the lake. Remilia looks down into the water for a moment, then shakes her head and returns to Patchouli's side, eyes sparkling and a mischievous smile playing about her lips.

"Well. It seems we have a rogue youkai masquerading as a fairy. It will be interesting, learning why such a thing should happen … but, Patchouli, will you not stay with us for now? I am certain Sakuya can obtain garb more suited for the water than what you currently wear." Patchouli turns red once again and shakes her head firmly.

"I'm sorry, Remilia, but I do need to get back to the mansion." Remilia tuts in mock-unhappiness, but smiles and waves a dismissal. Patchouli nods, and after a moment she vanishes. … Except she didn't cast a spell, which means she has an object that lets her teleport back to the mansion! Remilia chuckles and shakes her head, a smile on her face, and your irritation at the magician fades as your sister's joy grows.


What do you do?

[ ] Get everyone involved in a group game.

[ ] Races and swimming lessons!

[ ] Starwatching and other astronomical observations.

[ ] Other?


DM Note: Hooray, it's the weekend!

I'm not sure what Patchouli actually was wearing that was so embarrassing, so don't ask me what she was wearing or doing. All I know is that it was something instigated by Deis, and that it's not something Patchouli would normally even consider.