In the land of ruin
[X] To find more about her heritage
- [X] Through meditation. If she could get more out of the Echoes of her mentor…

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A girl sat naked on a mountain of ashes. Her skin had already been pale, but had long since turned entirely white as the cinders bathed her. In the distance, she could see massive pillars, once glorious, falling down upon the weight of the ages to join the dust on the ground. Forgotten promises, faded memories and lost dreams. All fell down the same, no matter how big or small, to become one in desolation.

The girl herself was no exception, as it was not hair that crowned her head, but ashes too, floating down in the still air. A ceaseless motion in a world that was defined by the very end of things. Yet, for this movement above her, the girl herself was utterly still.

Her hazel eyes looked blindly in the distance. She had come here for a reason, certainly, but what had it been? There was nothing here but crumbling remnants and ashes. Ashes… The thought of ashes stayed in her mind. It was somehow important, linked to the reason she was here. Did she come to burn something, or on the contrary to sift through the desolation in the hope of finding something that hadn't been entirely consumed? Could something that wouldn't end up as cinders in the end even exist?

She stood. In the end, it mattered little what she came here to do. It wasn't by staying in place any longer that it would be achieved. Silently, she walked. Clouds of ashes formed at her every step, then her feet were once more drowned in the omnipresent ruin.

Instant and eternity intertwined and were choked under the weight of cinders. She had no idea how long she'd been walking when she stopped. In front of her stood yet another pillar. It was just as decrepit as the rest, but warmth radiated from it yet. She raised a hesitant hand and placed a palm upon it.

Ashes ran up her arm before the limb broke in pieces. The fragments then rose up under the girl's apathetic gaze to affix themselves to the pillar. Darkness filled her vision.

The road was deserted. Abandoned carts lined it up, alongside luggage that was too heavy or not that important now that one needed to go on foot. In the distance, there was a town. No doubt it had been prosperous in its time, but nowadays, the only person turning a profit had probably been the undertaker. And then, even his luck had turned.

Crows circled mass graves all around the town. Where once golden grain had grown, now the only thing rising from the earth were the restless dead.

"Stay close to me, Lirra."

A pair of travellers had arrived from the bend in the road. They were forming quite an odd pair, this old man and young girl, as their ashen hair blazed above their head.

"Do you think there will be survivors?" she asked.

"There always are," the man answered. "Doors strong enough, furniture heavy enough to block the windows, perhaps even a diamond to ward off the plague. Minds that can come back from seeing everything they knew turn like this, however..."

He left the rest unsaid as he continued walking, an old shovel helping him when his weight was on his crippled leg.

The ashen girl watched this exchange from further away. It'd only take a few steps to reach them if it hadn't all happened a year earlier. Despite her not knowing a single thing about this moment, she still knew how it was going to end.

The dead were stumbling near the gates, filling the main street up. Men, women, children, even animals were roaming the streets aimlessly. With so much death caused by the plague, there weren't any easy targets for their hunger. Some of the undead had been victims of those that died before them, but the large majority had swollen, black necks; the clear mark of a plague victim. The only life around were the many buzzing swarm of insects fly to and from their decrepit bodies, imbibing the rot of their malady to spread it even further.

Their stench was better left unsaid.

As soon as the travelers came close enough, they reacted, their heads snapping in their direction at once, before the started closing in as fast as their dessicated muscles allowed them to move. Yet, this time their targets weren't civilians running from the plague or looters with more avidity than common sense, but Keepers of Gray.

"Stay behind me."

Despite his lame leg, the older man stood tall before the tide of death that was closing in. He brought his knuckles to his lips as if to kiss them, whispered a single word and the flame on his hair and beard spread to his limbs and then his spade, before resolving in an incandescent blade. None of the dead came close to him, as he danced a ballet of death, large swathes of the horde turning to ashes as burning swipes finally gave them true rest.

From where she was, half a step away from the memory, the girl could see figures of ashes calmly walking to find their place in the embers that enveloped the Mentor. It was beautiful and happy thing, and yet sadness filled the girl, for she knew there was only one end to this scene.

There were only a few undead left now. The work of a single burning swipe, and yet, at the moment he was about to strike, the flames left the Mentor, as Lirra's hair burst in a massive flame for an instant, leaving him only with embers. The shovel bit deep in the neck of the first corpse, and its bloated neck exploded in a dark dusty cloud, covering the surprised man. Less than a second later, it burst in flames and joined the others in ashes, but it was too late. In the middle of a lake of cinders, the Mentor coughed twice, then turned to Lirra with a tired smile.

"I was almost afraid here for a moment, but it turned out alright."

Further in the ashes, the girl knew he was wrong.

It was a few weeks later, in an abandoned cabin in the woods. The sun had been shining, the girl remembered. The birds had been singing. The plague was over and the people rejoiced. She had hated them oh so much. Had wished upon them yet more death and suffering. She'd cursed their smiles and their pearls of laughter.

Lirra cried. She cried and cried and cursed the world. She cried and tried to put on a brave face as day after day, she tended in vain to her dying Mentor. She'd seen enough victims of the plague to know what these blots on his necks meant. The only thing she could do now was try and make his last few moments as comfortable as possible, for there was no cure, no way to save him.

He couldn't even talk now, even as he tried to console his daughter. He'd known for a while that his days were numbered, that his long, miserable life was soon to come to an end. After all, the same had happened to the one before him; a Gravedigger's power came into its own after their first Pyre, and there could ever only be one in a single line.

He'd just hoped it could have been longer. Lirra wasn't ready to be alone yet. She didn't deserve to be left alone.

And yet, instead of telling her that, telling her that she was and would always be loved, he only sputtered and gurgled as the illness gnawed at his lungs, and with that, the flame of his life faded into nothing.

He'd said it before: there always were survivors. He only hoped her body didn't just outlive her heart.

As he was Pyred, the girl - Lirra - fell down to her knees and wept in the ashen wastes.

Her hands gripped at the cinders on the ground and she punched it again and again. It did nothing. Not even a sound, not even a sting. Ashes swallowed everything. Forgotten promises, faded memories and lost dreams.

And yet, she felt arms around her shoulder and she could bury her face in a familiar chest.

"Father!" she wept. "I miss you! I miss you so much!"

The ashen figure didn't answer and simply kept on holding her, gently patting her back.

"Why did you leave me? Why did you have to die? Why did you go into these towns knowing you would die!?"

"It is our duty, Lirra," the voice came, gentle and sad. "Our duty and the punishment for our crime."

"What crime? Coming to life?!"

The Mentor didn't answer and simply continued hugging the crying girl.

And yet, she could sense there was a way to know. A way to fall deeper down into these ashen wastes, perhaps even drown until she touched the very bottom of these ruins, until she found the first of these crumbling pillars.

She would just need to leave more of her behind.

She felt her Mentor's arms holding her, keeping her safe.

She would just need to leave the comfort of the only family she ever had.

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Oh boy.

Okay, so we can find out more. This is indeed what we came here for, and if that flaming sword shovel Lirra's mentor used is anything to go by, there's also power. And we've also found out that being a gravedigger is apparently a punishment of some kind. We'd gain a lot by going down I'd bet. Power for one, and information about what exactly a gravedigger is for another.

Of course it isn't free. She'd have to lose part of herself, possibly memories of her time with her father, the person she's known longest in her life, and who is gone now.

She shouldn't lose those. Lirra's still building a new life for herself. She's made some inroads and taken steps towards befriending some of her classmates, but she's not there yet. The memories she has are precious, and should not be traded lightly. And even if that's not the cost, losing a part of yourself to pay for uncertain knowledge is just dumb when you're still figuring out who you're trying to be.

We have other paths to look into first. We have to academy library to check. We have students and teachers from the world over to ask. Whatever this is, it might not be the only way. And even if it is, then with a bit of perpetration we can at least know what we're getting into first, and if it's worth the price of admission. We don't need to do this right now, not if we can find a better way.

[X] Go up
 
[X] Go up
Adhoc vote count started by Jrin on Aug 27, 2018 at 10:35 PM, finished with 1062 posts and 11 votes.

Adhoc vote count started by Jrin on Aug 28, 2018 at 12:04 AM, finished with 1065 posts and 14 votes.

Adhoc vote count started by Jrin on Aug 28, 2018 at 7:26 AM, finished with 1068 posts and 17 votes.
 
So let me see if I remember this right.

The Mentor - did we even get his name? - tried to delay Lirra's first Pyre for as long as it was possible to keep her company.
Then they were separated during their stay with Rinagi, Ilinca got killed, and Lirra performed it anyway. On instinct, perhaps? That got the countdown started.
Then, on one of their missions during the last months of the plague, the Mentor's power transferred to Lirra mid-fight, which is what ultimately had killed him, making him her second Pyre.

Whatever crime the Keepers have committed, it must have been grave indeed, for them to be punished for generations down the line.
Count me intrigued.

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Buuut... I am not sure the best way to learn about this supposed transgression lies through the use of cursed power it bestowed. Perhaps people are correct in that we should try consulting different sources.

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I'm always up for eldritch knowledge and forbidden lore. Having a high SAN score is for the weak.
 
[X]Go up

While answers to her undoubtedly near infinite questions would potentially await her at the bottom, the past hurts if you let it.

Lirra doesn't have to let herself be dragged down by a forebearer. Her life can be what she makes of it. And since going further down would take from her potentially anything, the risks are too great.
 
That. Was. Awesome.
The plague zombies were extremely visceral. The mental landscape seems so bleak. And the feels. :(


If we go back up, we have to take another week to look through the library. Let's keep going, it seems likely to me that we'd be returning here anyway, once we found something we didn't like in the library and wanted to confirm it.
Lirra has a new life ahead of her, but she needs power in order to protect those she cares about now. This will let her let go of the past, and start looking to the future.
To go down seems to be to abandon the past in order to prepare for the future, while going up seems to be the way to cling to the past for comfort.

[X] Go down

Then again, maybe I'm trying to convince myself that this is right, just as much as everyone else.
 
To go down seems to be to abandon the past in order to prepare for the future
Is it? Because the way I am looking at it, it's the past we are trying to discern by diving deeper, through the collective Keeper consciousness and possibly to whatever is left in there of the first Keepers:
And yet, she could sense there was a way to know. A way to fall deeper down into these ashen wastes, perhaps even drown until she touched the very bottom of these ruins, until she found the first of these crumbling pillars.
Our Mentor hated his, but once he Pyred her and got through her memories, he was startled to recognize how much they were alike.

Our Mentor had also learned about the root of the Keeper's curse, and was accepting of his fate and 'punishment'. How did he know? Supposedly there was something in his mentor's memories that she got from her mentor, and they from theirs, and so it goes until it reaches the beginning.

But our Mentor had wanted to break us out of the 'cycle of despair' him and his predecessors were caught in, so I am starting to doubt if we even need to find out about it the way they did.
 
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That. Was. Awesome.
The plague zombies were extremely visceral. The mental landscape seems so bleak. And the feels. :(


If we go back up, we have to take another week to look through the library. Let's keep going, it seems likely to me that we'd be returning here anyway, once we found something we didn't like in the library and wanted to confirm it.
Lirra has a new life ahead of her, but she needs power in order to protect those she cares about now. This will let her let go of the past, and start looking to the future.
To go down seems to be to abandon the past in order to prepare for the future, while going up seems to be the way to cling to the past for comfort.

[X] Go down
Looking to the future does not mean giving up the past. Indeed, it's because of Lirra's past that she has her current goals and motivation. She needs friends because the death of her father has left her alone, the only constant source of love and affection in her life gone. She looking for people to help fill that hole. Right now those memories are pretty much the sole emotional support she has. Take them away when she still has almost nothing? No real friends, no loved ones? That's not simply thoughtless, it's downright cruel. There is a point when holding to the past prevents you from growing, that it holds you back. That point is not when you're almost alone in a new school with new people learning a new job with a new lifestyle. That's a time when you need all the support you can find.

I'll say it again: do not give up cherished memories lightly, do not charge blindly forward. If you look into a pitch black hole in the ground, you don't jump into it just because you were told there was something good at the bottom. Yes, it will take time to search the library, and we may be back here at some point. But if we do return, it will be armed with information, knowing what we've trading a part of Lirra for. When she has made friends and companions, has grown more into the role she's chosen, and doesn't need the past to keep afloat. In the meantime she can continue as she has so far, and be supported in knowing that she was once loved, and that with time and effort she can be loved again.
 
But our Mentor had wanted to break us out of the 'cycle of despair' him and his predecessors were caught in, so I am starting to doubt if we even need to find out about it the way they did.
Foolish little brother Lirra.

If you look into a pitch black hole in the ground
Fun fact: it was supposed to be the option for go down, but having Lirra suddenly see a hole in the ground made it too video game-y.
 
Is it? Because the way I am looking at it, it's the past we are trying to discern by diving deeper, through the collective Keeper consciousness and possibly to whatever is left in there of the first Keepers:

Our Mentor hated his, but once he Pyred her and got through her memories, he was startled to recognize how much they were alike.

Our Mentor had also learned about the root of the Keeper's curse, and was accepting of his fate and 'punishment'. How did he know? Supposedly there was something in his mentor's memories that she got from her mentor, and they from theirs, and so it goes until it reaches the beginning.

But our Mentor had wanted to break us out of the 'cycle of despair' him and his predecessors were caught in, so I am starting to doubt if we even need to know.
True, it does seem a little weird to be giving up memories when we're specifically looking for new ones. But if we aren't losing memories, I don't really see much of a downside. It's not like she'll start hating her mentor, he was just as much a victim of the Keeper system as she is. Maybe if it turns out that pyring someone actually sends their soul to an extremely horrible afterlife, or consumes it like some kind of eldritch horror? Even then it doesn't seem like the Keepers have much of a choice, given that the alternative is for all life to be consumed by zombies. Perhaps Keepers are reincarnations of people that have done exceptionally horrible things in their past lives? If so, Lirra and her mentor show that you can clearly become a very different person by having a different environment growing up, and I don't think she would hate him for his past life.

Looking to the future does not mean giving up the past. Indeed, it's because of Lirra's past that she has her current goals and motivation. She needs friends because the death of her father has left her alone, the only constant source of love and affection in her life gone. She looking for people to help fill that hole. Right now those memories are pretty much the sole emotional support she has. Take them away when she still has almost nothing? No real friends, no loved ones? That's not simply thoughtless, it's downright cruel. There is a point when holding to the past prevents you from growing, that it holds you back. That point is not when you're almost alone in a new school with new people learning a new job with a new lifestyle. That's a time when you need all the support you can find.

I'll say it again: do not give up cherished memories lightly, do not charge blindly forward. If you look into a pitch black hole in the ground, you don't jump into it just because you were told there was something good at the bottom. Yes, it will take time to search the library, and we may be back here at some point. But if we do return, it will be armed with information, knowing what we've trading a part of Lirra for. When she has made friends and companions, has grown more into the role she's chosen, and doesn't need the past to keep afloat. In the meantime she can continue as she has so far, and be supported in knowing that she was once loved, and that with time and effort she can be loved again.
Good point. Do we think that we'll have time to come back later? We have a limited amount of time until the 'surprise' (~10 free updates), and we have various other things we need to do too. The whole reason that we need to gain power quickly is so that we can keep our friends alive. I accept your reasoning that losing memories will strongly negatively affect Lirra's future, but watching her friends die will too if we don't become strong enough to prevent it. Do you think Lirra can become strong enough to protect her friends if she doesn't grasp onto this power, or takes 3 or more updates to do so? (That's an honest question by the way, I would like to be convinced that we can manage it, and I'm very happy that there's finally some real discussion again) Bear in mind that every update she spends meditating is an update that isn't spent making friends.

As an idea, in order to try to find out more without losing memories OR spending less time with friends, we could ask Chloe to help us look through the library? The downside is that we would have to tell her about why we're so interested in Keepers. To fix this, we could spend the next two updates talking to Chloe about magic, until we're comfortable with letting her in on the secret?
 
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There's always next time. I think Lirra, at the moment, needs the comfort more than the potential power and/or knowledge.
 
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