Backstory: Since the beginning of his life, Heinz never had a wonderful or even "normal" life. He had mentally abusive parents who never cared about him or even noted possible knowledge of his existence. When Doofenshmirtz was born, neither of his parents "bothered to show up". He celebrated every birthday after that alone, throwing himself surprise parties at places like
Gunther Goat Cheese's. When he did have a birthday
cake, it was always eaten by
Doonkelberry Bats.
At one time he was actually disowned by his parents, forcing him to live with
ocelots. Needing money, he got a job at a carnival as the ball you throw at the target at the dunk tank. At the same time, for a reason that Heinz did not want to relate, he emanated a smell of pork so strong that no one would come near him. So he drew a face on a balloon and named it "
Balloony," spraying it with long-lasting spray.
Eventually, he returned to his normal family. His father was so poor that his beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. While other people were allowed to relax, he was forced to be the family's lawn gnome all day and night without being allowed to move in the slightest for any reason even to eat or sleep. At night his only companions were the moon, Balloony, and his neighbor
Kenny. During one night, Balloony flew off, and Heinz could not retrieve him
In his father's heart, he was replaced by a spitzenhound named
Only Son that his father won in a contest of "Poke the
Goozim with a Stick". Even though Only Son was an award-winning dog that brought his father fame and fortune, and the family should have been able to buy back the lawn gnome, Heinz was still forced to be the lawn gnome. This appears to be the source of Doofenshmirtz's fragile self-esteem.
While his parents awaited their new baby, who they believed to be a girl, they knitted dozens of dresses for their new baby. But their baby was born a boy and was named
Roger. Doofenshmirtz was forced to wear the old dresses due to lack of cloth, causing him to be constantly made fun of by his schoolmates, and on top of that, Roger was now favored by Heinz's mother for being a "goody-two shoes".
Roger as well was favored by his mother for his amazing abilities in kickball, a skill in which Heinz was sorely lacking in. Heinz felt even more shunned because of this. He tried to play several sports to impress his mother, but failed at all of them. In grade school, for example, he flunked jungle gym. Heinz was still not completely forgotten, however, it seemed like he was only ever acknowledged so he could be mentally abused more. His mother for example wouldn't let him into public pools, possibly stemming from Heinz's embarrassing failure to perform the high-dive as a rite of manhood.
He has been bullied throughout his life by
Boris, starting when they were both in Drusselstein. Boris constantly kicked sand in Doofenshmritz's face even in the most unexpected places, so much so that even on days where Boris didn't, Doofenshmirtz still found no peace because he was always expecting Boris to show up.
He was also tormented by a local girl named
Grulinda, who had a habit of dumping a bucket of water on Doofenshmirtz. Unknown to Heinz, this was rooted in Grulinda's feelings for him, so he assumed she was yet another bully and, similar to his relationship with Boris, held a grudge against her that lasted until adulthood.
Growing up, he tried his hand at magic. He got a gig, but hadn't quite perfected his act yet. When he tried to pull
Bobo the Rabbit out of his hat, there was a skunk instead. He was quite upset about this and gave up magic until well into his adulthood. But at that point he actually found Bobo
Heinz entered in his first science fair with his first "Inator" (Doofenshmirtz wasn't very creative with names yet), a working laser cannon. He was about to win, but for some reason lost to a baking soda volcano. The next year, he made an "Even-Bigger-Inator" but lost again to a baking soda volcano
Throughout his youth, he was told he couldn't "make mountains out of molehills" even when the situation was serious, such as burning down his building, which led him to do so literally. He carried this on to his adulthood. He has also always had a high squeaky-sounding voice that he strongly dislikes even to this day
Doofenshmirtz's childhood did not put particular emphasis on Christmas as he says that he "didn't love Christmas but he didn't hate it either"
He once went to a camp and was attacked by bees. He received one sting and numerous injuries due to falling from a hill while running from said bees. The event also left a hydrant in his knee, which due to being to close to his arteries, cannot be surgically removed. This event would later make Heinz overprotective of his daughter when she camped with her friends as a teenager.
When he was around 15, he realized he was unable to grow facial hair and began to think people who grow out their facial hair only do so to make fun of him. Also at this age, he was a big face in the "Shadow Puppet" business, so good that he began dating and had a "Fräulein." But, a new boy in the village with huge hands named
Huge-Hands Hansshowed up and, though his shadow puppets were garbage (literally), took his "Fräulein" away from him. This could be the cause of Heinz's fear of commitment and terror of dating girls, even into his adulthood
At around age 16, he went to America, due to his parents tricking him to go to the
"Schtor", which turn out to be only a painting, leaving him on a boat to America.
In high school, he filmed himself in a very embarrassing moment: in his underwear and a cape, he skated through a room and into a toilet while saying "I am a superstar!" The recording later became a viral video across the Internet and became so well known that he couldn't walk outside his apartment room without being made into a laughing stock
After this before going into college he started to paint, but could never find a muse. One day he finally found one, and painted for three days straight, and made a "masterpiece" he than rushed off to show his brother, but Roger's food spilled onto his beloved masterpiece, sparking up a newer, more personal grudge against Roger than past grudges which were more parental
After losing in the science fairs, he wanted to devote his life to poetry competitions instead. One of his poems was:
The movies are gray.
The TV is black.
The horses are running.
Please bring me some food.
Curiously, he still somehow lost to a baking soda volcano, although it is seemingly impossible for a baking soda volcano to recite poetry that outclassed him; or rather, any poetry at all
As a young man, he started his own
bratwurstcompany,
Doofenshmirtz's Quality Bratwurst, during a time which he described as him being less evil than in his current occupation. He even sold the bratwurst personally as a bratwurst street vendor, but without much, if any, success. Despite having "superior workmanship, finer meats and exotic spices", street vendors that sold hot dogs did much better than bratwurst vendors. At the present time, almost no one (other than Heinz himself) remembers that street vendors once sold bratwursts. Heinz attributes this to hot dog vendors "having it all": chrome-plated carts, endorsement deals and fancy blimps. After two young boys walked by him while he was doing his job as a street vendor and made a joke about selling bratwursts being a telling sign that a person is lame, Heinz vowed that he would get revenge against the hot dog vendors.
In evil school, he was tormented by his Evil 101 teacher,
Dr. Gevaarlijk, who flunked him out of evil school. To this day, Doofenshmirtz swears to get her to appreciate him for the evil he truly has. He also did a thesis based on an early ransom note of Dr.
Lloyd Wexler
He dated
Linda Flynn once before she became famous. She actually appears to be, at least in part, the reason why Doofenshmirtz is so focused on controlling and/or terrorizing only the Tri-State Area. At one point she discussed her desires to become a pop-star, but Doofenshmirtz, not believing she could do it replied sarcastically, "Yeah, right, and I'm going to rule the world". Linda replied thoughtfully that he could just start off small, like "with the Tri-State Area"
In "
Doof 101", it is mentioned that he took classes at community collega with
Principal Lang, who was in love with Charlene at that time. However, Charlene fell in love with Doofenshmirtz more, leaving Lang to develop a grudge against Doofenshmirtz that he refuse to abanadon, even when after Doof and Charlene divorced
Since meeting him while getting his photo taken, Doofenshmirtz's nemesis has been
Agent P, or Perry the Platypus. Agent P never attempts to lock Doofenshmirtz up, and after every mission he leaves the doctor in the rubble and runs away.
His evil mentor was
Professor Destructicon, also known as Kevin to his friends. Kevin's last request before being locked away was to have his protege set the sun on fire. Doofenshmirtz, in a rare moment of clarity, reasoned that the sun is a big ball of fire, so this wouldn't work. So Kevin asked him to just destroy the island hideout instead.