You Think, Therefore You Are (A 5E D&D Slime Quest)

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

Blurp! Slop! Glop!

You slowly strip the remaining bits of organic material from your latest meal. One of many such things that ended up falling inside this cave, where it became nothing more then another meal for you.

That's how it is for you. For you are an ooze. A slime. A discarded and forgotten piece of the Demon Lord Nothing more then a shambling cube of gelatinous mass slowly moving from meal to meal. You do not think. You do not have feelings. You are a mindless jelly who's only goal is to consume and consume until some adventurer comes and kills you for whatever reason.

But, as your acidic nature continues to break down the dead man inside of you, you feel... something. You're not quite sure what this something is, but you've been feeling it for quite some time now. Every time you feed on one of these weird solid things, you feel that something more. Lately, you have been having a desire other then to consume. Which, for an ooze, is very weird. You don't know what it is you want to do instead. You don't think, after all. But whatever it is, it's pulling at you.

Hmm... maybe if you eat something else, you'll fulfill that desire. Maybe...

[] That fleshy thin thing. It's not wearing anything resistant to your acid (You start as a Corrosive Juiblexian. You gain Caustic Touch and Corrosive Body)
[] That thing with magic coming out of it! You can taste the mana coming from it! (You start as a Weird Juiblexian. You gain Elemental Chaos and Innate Spellcasting)
[] That one with the pleasing form. You don't know why it's pleasing, but you want to be like that one! (You start as a Mnemonic Juiblexian. You gain False Appearence and Mnemonic Echoes)

--

Welcome to this quest! This will be a quest where you are an awakened ooze that will become something more. An adventurer? A big bad? A romantic wonder? Up to you!

This quest will use 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons as it's base. Some homebrewed things may be used (Like the Juiblexians, for example.). Anything published by Wizards of the Coast, either in proper material or Unearthed Arcana can be used here. Anything else will depend on the setting (Greyhawk, Ravnica, Eberron, ect.) and other small factors.

Also, expect updates for the next few bits to be a tad bit short. Character Creation will go as follows: Subrace, Class (Starting at Level 3), and Setting, plus a potential fourth thing depending on options selected.).

 

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

[Winner] That one with the pleasing form. You don't know why it's pleasing, but you want to be like that one! (You start as a Mnemonic Juiblexian. You gain False Appearence and Mnemonic Echoes)

Generally speaking, oozes are blind creatures. You were no exception.

Of course, being blessed by the Lord of Slimes, you tracked your prey through other means. In some ways, your other senses were better then others. You knew when the smallest prey tried to scurry by, their pitter-patter of feet giving them away. You could smell when a good source of food was nearby, ready to be consumed. Sure, the range of your senses was short, but that didn't matter. Anything outside of your little world was unimportant.

But recently, your senses have become... more. You can now "see". You don't know why it is you "see". But within your "field of vision" - and you have no idea where you got that term from - you know what your prey looks like. That small grey thing moving fast. You knew the smell. You consumed many with that smell before. But now you had something to go along with it.

But recently, you've notice that your choice of prey have changed. They are rather tall, stand on two long things, with two more sticking out of them. On their top is a round thing. You don't know why, but you've become transfixed by it. And the more of them you consume, the more you learn of them.

The things they stand on are legs. The things out of their sides? Arms. Round thing? Head. More and more, you know this form. You study them as they digest within you. And the more you consume, the more they consume you.

And now, another one comes into your lair. And it... is... perfect.

It's look! It's shape! It's... everything. It's the pinnacle of everything you ever wanted in your life as an ooze. The way it moves, acts, makes noise from the hole in it's head - mouth! - everything. It's like the best thing in all of creation ever.

Then it hits you like a very heavy thing. You want it. Well, okay, you want to eat everything. But this is different. You want more then to eat it. No, you want it's form. You want to be it.

You want it.

You NEED it.

YOU WILL HAVE IT!

And so you do. You quickly surround the creature, enveloping it within you. And as it struggles from within, you take note of everything you feel within. The feel of the skin. The color of each part of it's body. All the ins and outs. And slowly, you feel yourself becoming it. As the thing within slowly stops it's struggle, your body becomes more like it. You gain the arms. The legs. The head. Slowly, you are becoming like they are.

And then, somehow, a part of you burns through it's head and touches it's thinking organ. And you have a thought.

"I am."

Wait, what's a thought? And why are you having them?

Then you start to have lots of thoughts all at once.

The wave of uplifting thoughts that are rapidly transforming you from a creature of instinct to a creature of rational though threatens to overwhelm you. The sensory overload crashes through you, as you learn new things in nanoseconds. Things like time, space, cooking, and love. You gain a glimpse of what they are, before a new concept takes it's place.

But you power through, absorbing the knowledge as if it were organic food. No longer are you driven completely by instinct any longer. No, the concepts of thinking has forever transformed you. You are like those whose form you craved. Not just in form, but in intelligence.

You once were blind, but now you see.

--

Select Your Class. You will start at Level 3. Here is a link to TVTropes, for a good description of what the classes can do (Remember to pick 5th Edition)

If you wish to use a Homebrew option, feel completely free to suggest it! Remember to link to the splatbook in question so I can examine it. Subject to DM Veto.

Suboptions will be voted upon in the next vote

[] Artificer
[] Barbarian
[] Bard
[] Cleric
[] Druid
[] Fighter
[] Monk
[] Mystic
[] Paladin
[] Ranger
[] Rogue
[] Sorcerer
[] Warlock
[] Wizard
[] Homebrew - Write In

 

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

Music. Storytelling. Poems. Lewd Jokes. Biting political commentary. Insults veiled in compliments. The Hurdy-Gurdy.

You ponder all of these and more as the thoughts start to simmer and settle. Your brain - oh, that's what that thinking organ is - is able to sort through the concepts of life, emotion, and what it means to be a Humanoid Bard.

Oh, so that's what it means to be a humanoid.

You look at your hand. In one second, it turns into your natural substance, with only the dead being's skeleton bobbing inside. A second more, and the jelly turns to flesh.

Ooze, flesh, ooze, flesh.

Neat.

[1 False Appearance Gained]
[Remember, maximum forms is 3 + Int Modifier]

While you could spend all day - and you know what that is now that the concept of time is something you can grasp - changing between forms, there are other things you need to find out about. Like the bag and instrument right next to you. Obviously it belonged to the one you consumed. Therefore, it's now yours.

For some reason, you feel as if they'd have agreed, if the tables had been turned.

Wait, why do tables turn?

Not important. You pick up the thing that wasn't in the bag.



Without even thinking about it, you give the Hurdy-Gurdy a strum.

...you could get used to this.

-

Select Your Bard College

[] The College of Lore
[] The College of Valor
[] The College of Swords
[] The College of Glamour
[] The College of Satire
[] The College of Whispers

 

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

The lunatic, the lover and the poet
Are of imagination all compact:
One sees more devils than vast hell can hold,
That is, the madman: the lover, all as frantic...

You stop yourself from continuing on. Then, with only the sounds of the hurdy gurdy accompanying him, you contemplate on why that seemed familiar.

You focus inwards, upon the bones of the Bard. There is something familiar about it's taste. In fact, you can recall it from one other time. Some flying thing once fell into your slimy grasp, where you ate it's organic meats with gusto. It was different from the other flying things. It was a very exotic taste. Not magic. No, you've eaten magic users. No, this is more... fey-ish.

Wait, what's a fae? Is that what that flying thing was? And why does this Bard taste like them?

And why do you like the taste more then others?

Obvioiusly, humanoid curiosities have so many interesting things to try and comprehend. You can't wait to experience them all.

You concentrate again, this time on trying to come up with something original. Maybe a limerick? You close your eyes - you have eyes! - and think. After a few seconds of cranking the hurdy gurdy, it comes to you.

I once knew a man named Calimor Rae
Who feel deep in love with a shapely fae
Besides the Psudeian Tracks
They made the beast with two backs
And it's cry was heard all out through the day.

Somehow, you think the Bard You Consumed would have approved of that one.

"Hello? You there?"

You open your eyes. Is there another humanoid there? Was it looking for the Bard You Consumed?

Maybe it wants to be your friend? Or your enemy?

Honestly, you've never had either before. Either would be a new experience to try. And it seems you are all about new experiences today.

--

Now, it's time for probably the most complex vote. Good news is, I've tried to simplify the vote as much as possible. Votes will be line, with top choices winning. First off, your skills, tools, and languages.

Skills: 4 (Three Bard, One Mnemonic).
Already Proficient: Acrobatics, Performance
Tools: 1 (Any, Mnemoic), 3 (Musical Instruments, Bard) (DM Fiat: Musical Instruments will be dealt with later)
Already Proficient: Disguise Kit, Hurdy Gurdy
Languages: 2 - 1 (1 Juiblex, 1 Mnemonic) (DM Fiat: Sylvian via The Bard You Consumed)
Languages Known: Common, Abyssal, Sylvian

Proficiency Bonus: +2

Here is The List of Skills, And The Stat That Guides Them
Here is The List of Tools You Can Be Proficient In
Here is The List of Languages You Can Learn

Now, go ahead and vote! There is no wrong way to choose here!

[] [Skill]
[] [Skill]
[] [Skill]
[] [Skill]

[] [Tool]

[] [Language]

Due to Expertise, you can choose two of those skills to gain double your Proficiency in. If must be a skill you are voting for, or already possess. If a skill is chosen you do not have or vote for, it will be skipped.

[] [Expertise]
[] [Expertise]

Now, onto Spells. Just to keep things from getting to complicated, I am putting down options for what kind of spellcaster you would like to be. From there, most of your spells will follow that archetype. Of course, if you really want to get into the nitty gritty, just select the spells you want, and we'll work from there.

Remember, you can change one spell each time you level up.

[] Offensive Preference (Examples: True Strike, Thunderwave, Shatter)
[] Illusions and Charms (Examples: Minor Illusion, Charm Person, Invisiblity)
[] Support (Examples: Heroism, Cure Wounds, Enhance Ability)
[] Battlefield Control (Examples: Faerie Fire, Hold Person, Sleep)
[] Odds and Ends (Examples: Knock, Comprehend Languages, Prestidigitaion)
[] Across the Board (Get A Bit of Each)
[] Create Your Own Plan! (Add your spells here)

Finally, your stat block.

Stat Array: 8, 8, 11, 13, 14, 15
Juiblex: +2 Con
Mnemonic: +1 Int

Good news! For you, Strength is a dump stat. Any build other then Build-A-Bard will dump an 8 in there. So, you will focus on what is most important to you. You can also just stat yourself out, if you want.

[] The Charismatic Bard (15 in Charisma, 14 in Intelligent)
[] The Almost Nimble Bard (15 in Charisma, 14 in Dexterity)
[] The Healthy Bard (15 in Charisma, 14 in Constitution)
[] The Nimble Bard (15 in Dexterity, 14 in Charisma)
[] The Many Formed (15 in Intelligent, 14 in Charisma)
[] The Observant Bard (15 in Charisma, 14 in Wisdom)
[] Build-A-Bard (Plug the stats in yourself)

 

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

Finally, we come to the setting. There is no story here, as the setting is needed to show what is next in vivid detail.

What is the setting of this tale?

Remember, due to your choices, some version of the Feywild exists. Regardless of how impossible it would be otherwise.

[] Forgotten Realms - Standard D&D Adventuring on Abeir-Toril, a pre-Industrial world with fantasy and magic. As the standard setting for Dungeons and Dragons, many famous adventure stories and locations take place here.
[] Eberron - Want more pulp and magical technology in your setting? This is the place for you. Skyships! Robots! Trains! A popular favorite with many, this is a good choice for Dungeon Punk
[] Ravnica - A plane and a city, Ravnica is home to the ten guilds that govern the area and keep order. From the law-making Azorious to the mad experiments of the Izzet to the military-minded Boros to the murder-fun Rakdos. Of course, there's this dragon-god that just showed up...
[] Ravenloft - In the Demiplane of Dread, the Dark Powers rule, as heroes fight against nameless evils and victory is more defined by survival. Will you break out of the demiplane into one of the other settings? Or will you be nothing more then a puppet to the Dark Powers?
[] Earth - Would you like a more familiar setting? Want to roam the Dungeons of Detroit and go fight the Rose of Sharon on the Eiffel Tower? Want to wield guns and magic? Want to see One Nation Under Pelor? Then this hodgepodge of Earth and D&D Lore is for you!
[] Caranthia - The setting of an older quest I (and then Hydroplatypus) ran, return to the world and see how it has grown. Has Florencia grown? Has the Rapine Tide been beaten back? And what of the Second Empire of the New Flesh? And most of all, what is your place in the world?
[] Ichirote - A location where Cyberpunk has held sway. The land is owned by megacorps, technology and cybernetics reign, and magic has been mostly thought of as a myth of the savage lands outside of the civilization. But you're no myth...
[] Azuratoll - A land of mostly water, there are very few large landmasses. Travel the open seas and fight on boats! Make friends with mermaids and talking dolphins! Live on the back of giant turtles!

 

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

Quickly picking up everything your last meal consumed after its demise, you exit the cavern towards the sound of the voice. Your newfound sight only goes so far - to the edge of your other senses, in fact - and you don't want to miss the source of the voice.

As darkness gives way to the light of day, the first thing you notice as you leave the only home you ever knew behind is the grass.

To most humanoid races, grass really isn't special. It's literally everywhere. But to a newborn Juiblexian such as yourself, it's very easy to get lost in it's vivid greenness. You stop in your tracks, entranced in the beauty of such green flora.

Is... is this what you have been missing out on? So much wonder and beauty? Do all humanoids experience this?

You bend down, and pluck a single blade of grass out from the ground, giving it a good inspection. You feel the texture along your newfound hand. Your senses, inhaling the air particles, gets a good whiff of it's smell. A part of you notes that it's not disintegrating, even though you're pretty sure it should be. It is coming into contact with you, and it is organic.

Near the edge of your senses is something not grass. Absorbing the blade of grass into yourself, you walk over the not grass, and pick it a handful of it.

It is not soft like the grass. It is rough, and coarse. And it's seeming to get everywhere as it falls through your fingers. You love it!

"You know that's just sand, right?"

You quickly turn to face the owner of the voice you'd heard before.



It takes you a moment to respond, as you look over this new humanoid's form. It's different from yours, both your Juiblexian and non-Juiblexian form. The black rings around his eyes and unkempt hair are different. Idly, you wonder just how many forms there are. Tens? Hundreds? Thousands?

You're pretty sure you can only take on a few permutations. How will you choose which ones you want?

"'Oi, dumbass! Are you even paying attention?"

You snap back to reality, having figured the man with the book was referring to you. "Of course!" Well, at least you know your form's name. Hmm... "Dumbass" has a nice ring to it.

"Good." The man nods. "We don't have time to dwiddle-daddle. We've got to get to Loar's Rest by sundown, or you're not going to get paid. Now, just play... whatever it is you play, and let's get going."

[Wisdom [Perception] Check: 6 - 1 + 1 (Jack of All Trades) = 6]

As he turns back towards the road, he mutters something under his breath. You don't catch any of it though, as you start to follow him.

Then it strikes you. Do you have to follow him? You aren't the same person he thinks you are. You have it's form and its items, but you are not the same person. You can do whatever you want! You could even go the opposite way, if you want!

Of course, you also are very new to this whole humanoid thing. Traveling with someone else for a while could make things easier, regardless if you tell them the truth or not.

[Wisdom [Perception] Check: 16 - 1 + 1 (Jack of All Trades) = 16]

Then you see something, near the edge of the cave you exited. It's softly glowing blue, and is fluttering around the entrance. It seems like it's looking for something, enough that it's not paying attention to you.

--

So, what do you do?

[] Follow the man with book and robe. He's the first humanoid you've met and haven't tried to eat. Maybe you'll learn something.
[] Go the other way! Make your own destiny!
[] Examine the floating thing at the cave entrance.
[] Attack the man with book and robe. You want his form and stuff. And maybe if you eat more humanoids, you can understand humanoids better!

 

[Novus Ordo Mundi]

Why is there a glowing blue thing? Was it looking for something?

Could it have been looking for the hudry gurdy player? Was it looking for you? Or was it drawn to something in the cave? You never did examine the cave, though you don't remember much being inside it.

You want to know what it's doing. To satisfy your curiosity, if nothing else.

"Oh come on, I told you..." the humanoid started, but stops when he sees you aren't paying that much attention to him. "You already wasted my precious time with that silly cave, and there was nothing there! I don't..."

"Look over there." You quickly interrupt, pointing at the blue thing fluttering at the entrence. Of course, he can't see exactly what you do. He can't sense things around him quite like you can. But that's not important right now.

[Plothookguy Wisdom (Perception) 9 + 3 = 12]

"...huh, a will 'o wisp. Turns out your flight of fancies may actually be useful for once." the man said. "Well, it'd be useful for the collection. And we will get it, or my name isn't Herodius Ichorson!"

Wait, your name changes when you do or not do something? That doesn't sound right at all. Maybe it's a phrase or something. Well, either way, it's not important. What is important is that the floating blue thing - a will 'o wisp - is entering the cave. Maybe you can sneak up on it, and see witness a new thing doing new things! Oh, the experiences you can witness!

"Well, kill it and return the corpse! Or capture it, if you think you can manage it. Just don't do something stupid and die." Herodius says, handing you a jar. "I do need you, after all."

[Jar? Get!]

--

Now that you've got better grasp on existing as a thinking creature, you examine the cave where you existed and fed. It's not as interesting, to be honest. It's far darker, and the eroded walls are just rock. The ground isn't like sand or grass. It squishes beneath you as you move silently towards the Wisp

[Dexterity (Stealth) Check: 17 + 4 = 21]

Where iz it? Where fear? Wherez feelingz of dying?

The Wisp flitters back and forth, too distracted to notice your presence. It's really nothing more then a ball of blue light. No legs, arms, or head. Yet it speaks, and moves, and has being. You find it interesting. Obviously, the transference of what the bard knew is still filtering down, but just knowing something, and experiencing it, are two different matters.

I felt the terror! I felt it! Lossox knew living thing waz right here!

The wisps conundrum is distracting you from your own. What was it looking for? Could it have been the bard whose form you now take? Obviously it was distressed it couldn't find it. But why did it want it's terror. You knew instinctually what terror is. But you never actually felt it.

You look down at the glass jar Herodius gave you. You would like to capture it. Study it. Or maybe you should consume it? See what happens? But Herodius wanted it's corpse.

No. Need terror! Need food! Don't wanna ztarve. Don't wanna die again...

Or maybe you can talk to it? Feed it somehow?

--

The Will 'o Wisp does not see you. If you choose to attack it, you will have an advantage over it. You may choose to kill it, capture it, or try and talk with it. Plan voting is in effect.

Also, don't bother looking at the Monster Manual for this Will O' Wisp. I'm using something slightly different for this one...

[] Kill It
- [] Using your Feywild Rapier
- [] Using your Crossbow
- [] Using your Magic

[] Capture It
- [] Run up and put it in the jar!
- [] Incapcitate it, then capture it

[] Talk to It
- [] Say what?

[] Write In?