Xandificer. Xander as an Artificer.

[Datatroll]

Chapter 8
Good Ol' DW.

>>>>
'This, this was an unholy pain in the ass.' These are the words that pass through Alex's mind a month later when she finally manages to finish her first Arbalester. Looking like nothing so much as a crossbow sitting just slightly under a frame with four upwards facing tiny helicopter rotors on it, the resemblance to something that might be purchased in the toy section of the local hobby enthusiasts outlet is undeniable. Every bit of it is either stained or painted black, even down to the two feathers on each bolt it carries.

The four stumpy little legs underneath it that it is hesitantly waddling around on give it an uncertain gait. It moves in a manner that gives the impression of being quite shy and bashful, though it does move up to Alex and give her a tap on the leg with the forward section of its right bow arm. Uncertain if this is an attempt at a head butt or a high five, Alex simply bends over and picks up the awkward little thing with a smile. The two small onyx that are what it is using for eyes are attached to the bow directly on either side of the line of fire. There are two spindly arms, one on either side of the stripped-down stock, that have easy access to the bolts that are kept in racks on either side of the same stock. Merely adjusted forward some. With five on either side, plus one in the chamber, so to speak, before the thing leaves for battle it will give the little guy eleven shots before he is to disengage and return home at high altitude, so as to escape the notice of whatever might be tracking him.

Finishing the earpieces for both Buffy and herself was something of a pain as well, as translating a finger ring enhancement to an earpiece enhancement was neither easy nor cheap. Fortunately, the original item wasn't hugely expensive and Jenny was able to assist a little bit with the controls on the device. Alex opens the bedroom window to allow for the departure of the newest minion, whom she has designated "Drop Waddle" or simply "DW" based on the giggles that overwhelmed her during the poor thing's first two attempts to fly earlier that day. Fortunately, the creature's progress was miraculous on learning this new system that was more or less co-developed between Alex and Jenny.

Alex startles somewhat when she hears a knock on her door.

"Come in."

Jenny appears in the now open doorway and sees Alex cuddling an animated crossbow that is wiggling its tiny feet in desperation trying to move. She can't help but laugh. "So are you going to send him out tonight?"

Alex nods. "Yeah, it's time. Skite is already keeping an eye on her, and I am gonna send out Drop Waddle as soon as it gets dark enough. He's a little more conspicuous."

Jenny smiles. It's good that Buffy finally has some backup. Angel seems to be helping, but at the end of the day he is really just a cursed bloodsucker and Jenny knows that reality better than most. Using him is fine. Trusting him is, at best, foolish. "Can you do something to make it easier for him to get around unnoticed?"

Alex grimaces. "I did actually. It was just crazy stupid expensive. Fortunately, it didn't take nearly as long to complete as it could have or there's no way he would be ready for at least another two weeks."

Jenny steps forward. "I see you painted him black. Anything else?"

"Yeah. I rigged him up with a use-activated and continual 'Silence' spell that he can turn on when he's flying. Damn thing cost ten grand, and honestly, I got lucky. A lot of the stuff to do it was way cheaper here. Buried in his stock is a little toy that he can activate that will make a fifteen-foot sphere around him that no sound can enter, exit, or move through in any way. Between that and the black coloring, I am hoping he'll be tough to notice until it's too late. I figured there is no way he could hear anything over the sound of his propellers anyway, and when he and I chat it is mind to mind."

Alex shrugs and looks out the window. Seeing that it is nearly full-on dark, she opens the window and holds DW out the window while he kicks on his flight system and adjusts his trim. Then he takes off, heading in the direction of the Summer's home.

Alex smirks, laying down on her bed and putting on her earpiece. "If you'll excuse me, Miss Calendar, I am needed on the front lines just now." Then she closes her eyes and activates the earpiece.

"Slayer, this is Q. Come in Slayer."

There is a giggle over the line.

"I thought we were calling me "Queen Empress, Mistress of all and Greatest Everywhere?"

Alex can't help but laugh. "Well, you have enough leather on I am guessing to qualify for the 'Mistress' title but you'll have to look elsewhere for your gimp. Just letting you know that you'll have company tonight."

There is a slight pause. Then Buffy responds, less enthusiastic than Alex might have hoped. "Do we have to start the helping thing tonight? I had plans."

Alex rolls her eyes. "What do you mean, plans. The plan is a Slayer patrol, isn't it?"

"Umm, well, that was going to be part of it yeah. Then Angel and I were going to go ice skating. There's a rink that is closed tonight. It was supposed to be romantic and stuff. I know that's not what you want to hear, but... Can you pretend to be happy for me? Maybe? Just a little?"

Alex groans "So, rather than protecting the denizens of Sunnydale the new plan is to do a little breaking and entering and then go skating with a corpse. Is it low-hanging fruit to say that your plan stinks on ice?"

Buffy responds, sounding legitimately hurt enough to make Alex feel like something of a heel. "Damn it Xan... Alex. Why do you have to be like this? Can't you just be happy for me a little bit? Please?"

Alex shakes her head even though nobody can see her. "Fine. I'll fake it. I am going to have Skite and DW follow you from a discrete distance though. Maybe a low-intensity shake-down run isn't a bad idea anyway."

Buffy considers. She was hoping for smooches, but... "Okay, Alex. That's fair. What's DW?"

"I am having him drop down to your level so you can take a look. Be advised that when he gets close, all sound is going to cut out. He has kind of a stealth mode active, otherwise he'd make too much noise."

After bringing DW down to her eye level and letting her walk around him a couple of times he has the new soldier regain altitude.

"Damn Alex, that is freaking cool! Does he do anything else besides fly, shoot, make absolutely no noise, and get lost in the night sky like instantly?"

Alex chuckles. "Well, if you're an evil thing from another dimension or any kind of undead you really don't wanna get shot by him. But aside from that, no. I think you covered all the basics. You have company on your six. Probably Angel, but it's hard to tell from up here. Do me a favor and mute your mic, I don't want to drown in the sap, but leave the unit in. That way if there's trouble I can let you know."

"Sure thing. Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for this. It does feel better knowing there is backup out there."

Alex smiles. "No worries. Glad I could help. Talk to you later, your cold sloppy kisses are almost there."

Buffy rolls her eyes and shuts off the microphone.

>>>>

Watching the two walk and talk from a hundred feet up does get boring, but they do legitimately complete a circuit of their patrol before breaking off to go to the skating rink. With four vamps dusted, even Alex is willing to admit they probably deserve a break.

But then she get a little more concerned. "Slayer, this is Q, come in Slayer."

There is a few moments of silence, and then Buffy's voice comes over the line. "What's the issue, Q?"

Alex is still trying to get a decent look at this thing through Skite, but it isn't easy. "You have something following you. He's good, keeping to the shadows, but he is definitely following you two. I can't get a look at his face, but be careful. If he's human he's a big motherfucker. My money is on a demon of some sort. I am gonna bring DW down into a good firing range in case things go hot, but I don't want to fire until I know for sure he's hostile."

Buffy lets out a little growl and then Alex can hear her talking to Angel. "Thanks, Q. We'll check it out."

The two continue their trek to the rink, but rather than going in they instead walk past it and turn into the alley, where they wait. From his vantage point with Skite, their plan is pretty easy to see, so Alex simply follows the guy with DW, about thirty feet up and fifty feet behind him, making a wide turn at the alley to keep him in sight.

Then things pretty much all go to hell.

As soon as this big guy sees Angel and Buffy, he slaps Angel across the face so hard that the impact knocks bricks loose in the wall of the ice rink. Then when Buffy comes in to give him a kick to the guts for his trouble, he grabs her foot, throws her against the same wall, and as she is trying to get up grabs her about the throat with both hands.

Then a crossbow bolt slams into his ribs.

The man roars in pain, turning wildly to see where the shot came from as Buffy wriggles free and backs up a few paces. When he isn't immediately able to find his assailant, he turns back to the task at hand.

Another bolt impacts his right leg, just above the knee.

Rather than mad, the man is now beginning to look scared. He desperately tries to grab the weapons that are piercing his flesh and at the same time avoid Buffy and now Angel, who are both working him over with punches and kicks. He tries to run away.

A third bolt hits, this one enters his back and it must have perforated something important because the man drops to the ground. He tries crawling away, though he doesn't get far. In the end, he is flipped over by Angel, who begins asking him some rather pointed questions. His response is to smile, then begin twitching and foaming at the mouth.

He is dead in minutes.

"Slayer to Q. Thanks for the assist. Listen, we are going to call it a night early I think. Angel found a ring on this guy that has him pretty worried. Assassins from an order of teriyaki or something."

Alex wrinkles her nose. "Teriyaki? What, does he look Asian?"

There is silence for a moment. "No, wait. Angel says Taraka. The order of Taraka. I guess they are supposed to be good at it or something. Anyway, we are heading back and he is going to drop me off at my place. You can call it a night."

Alex rolls her eyes unconsciously. "Look Slayer, I'm gonna follow you home, and then I am gonna put Skite on sentry duty, have DW come back for replacement crossbow bolts, and then he's gonna hang out somewhere over your place until just before dawn too. Make time with your cursed undead American some night that we aren't worried about assassins trying to scrape you off the planet, alright?"

Buffy is getting to the point of exasperation. "Damnit Alex, you know what, I hope you do get somebody someday just so I can be just as annoying to you as you are to me."

There is silence for a few seconds. "Hey, do you think that maybe DW could just hang at my place tomorrow? He could hang in my room with the window open, and maybe the little ferret one could keep an eye outside? Dawn gets home a couple of hours before either me or Mom."

Alex smiles, thinking of Buffy's firecracker of a kid sister. "Sure thing Buffy. Leave your window open and I'll just have him come in after I get him reloaded. Talk to you tomorrow, but do me a favor, and if you aren't close to a phone? Keep that thing on your ear okay?"

There is another short pause, and this time Buffy's response is a lot warmer. "Thanks again, Alex. But I still curse you with a... a significant other as soon as possible. So there."

With that, she turns off her mic, and the two start heading back to her house. The Slayer occasionally fiddling about with the ring in her hand.


The next day, at school.
"It isn't fair. I shouldn't have to fill out this stupid thing, I mean, career week? Hello, Slayer. It isn't like I am gonna have a career."

The three, Willow, Alex, and Buffy are lounging around the quad with the paperwork that was supposedly going to be showing them what they were going to be doing for the rest of their lives.

Alex isn't quite willing to let that one go. "You think it's stupid for you to fill this out? I already make more money on a monthly basis than any three members of the faculty combined! What exactly am I gonna get out of this besides a big fat nothing? Besides, how is a bunch of garbage questions thought up by a guy that managed to get a government job with his psychology degree going to help us plan our lives? It's just dumb."

Buffy nods and is obviously opening her mouth to show solidarity, but they are preempted by Willow. "I kinda want to see mine. I think it's fun, to see, maybe, what somebody else thinks I could do. I mean, I know my way around computers, but maybe this will tell me I should be an astronaut or the president!"

Buffy turns to Willow. "I will concede the point if you can tell me any possible way in which..." She glances at her sheet. "Whether or not you love shrubbery could possibly have any impact on whether or not you should be an astronaut."

Willow thinks about it for approximately point two seconds. "Well, if they are looking for somebody to terraform mars, maybe they would look for somebody that knows their way around a shrub. Anything can happen, I mean, I live on a Hellmouth where my best friends are a vampire slayer and a hot artificer that used to be a guy."

Immediately after saying this, Willow stammers something about needing to double-check her answers and flees the scene while Alex holds her head in her hands and Buffy tries to stifle her giggles.

"I knew she had it bad, but I didn't realize it was 'ignore sex change' levels of bad."

After a few more moments of holding her face in her hands, Alex turns to Buffy. "Can we just pretend like that never happened?"

Buffy looks at her confused. "Why would we want to do that? She's your best friend. She totally digs you, apparently so much that she wants to... You know, do things even now. How could this situation possibly be any better for you? You both like each other. I would say you actually already love each other, you're just being stubborn. She already knows what goes bump in the night, she's crazy smart, we know she has at least a little magical talent, so she can maybe learn what you do, and if not she could totally do her own thing. Let's be honest, you are probably not going to be interested in a guy anytime soon, and the most perfect part of all, you already know that if you get turned back, she will still be all over you."

Buffy looks in the direction that Willow went. "She is so perfect for you it's practically a flashing neon sign saying 'Alexis Should Date Willow." Looking back at Alex, she concludes simply. "So, what's the problem?"

"We're both girls?"

Buffy shakes her head. "Nope. Calling BS. You had the same problem, whatever it is, when that wasn't the case. Try again."

Alex looks at the ceiling for a few seconds. Praying for an interruption. For a bell to ring, or Snyder to show up and be all Snyderly, or the jocks to throw something at... Well, actually the jocks didn't pick on her anymore. But since what they did was actually worse, that wasn't much of a consolation...

"Hey, I said try again, not stare at the ceiling and pray for death. C'mon. We're all girls here and you are obviously in pain about this. You got stuck with all the crap that goes with being a girl. You may as well get the perks too."

Alex glares back at her. "She deserves better than me. She's my Willow. She deserves a prince charming, not some guy that has to sleep on the roof of the house come Christmas Eve every year because his parents are so damn blind drunk that they'll beat him half to death if they see him, okay? She doesn't need to get stuck with some punk loser that gets a C- average only because she's willing to tutor his dumb ass."

Alex leans forward, her face more serious than has been seen until now. Even including that first morning in the library after Halloween. "I'll tell you another thing for free, she deserves to get the hell out of Sunnydale and away from all this bullshit, go to a great college, learn to make awesome computers, or cure the common cold, or be a damn astronaut shrubbery expert. And she's not gonna get any of that hanging around with some dipshit whose only claim to fame is that magic and supernatural gunk screws up around him so regularly and catastrophically that he cringes every time he sees a pig on TV and can now get a job at any strip joint in the nation just by walking on the lot. Is that enough sharing? Am I a real girl now?"

With that, Alex gets up and turns to walk away, only to see a white-faced Willow standing there with tears running down her face. She does an oscar worthy facepalm and sighs.

"Willow, how long were you there?"

The sobbing redhead points at her quiz on the table, which she apparently forgot in her haste to retreat earlier.

Not knowing what to do, but knowing that doing nothing is not acceptable when confronted with a crying Willow, Alex wraps an arm around her shoulder and brings her back to the bench to sit, attempting to smother her tears in a hug while she glares poisoned daggers at Buffy's retreating form.

>>>>

Authors Note:
So. That happened.

Is Xander OOC here? Um. Yeah. Lots. Thought that was obvious, really. AU tag it in your head if it makes you happy.

 

[Rakan]

I mean; I don't think I could be the same person I was if I suddenly had 25 years of being an artificer at a minimum, plus a sex change, and act the same. There are obvious things in Alex that harken back to Xander, but expecting Alex to act the same is ridiculous. As soon as the change happened, this story became very AU.

Honestly, how close Alex acts compared to Xander is a testament to your writing.

 

[ZeroK and Angel]

Not to be one of those demanding readers, please don't take this comment this way...but I really hope this isn't a Xander/Willow story, I'm really not comfortable with the redhead rapest in relationships that don't crash and burn.

 

[Datatroll]

Not to be one of those demanding readers, please don't take this comment this way...but I really hope this isn't a Xander/Willow story, I'm really not comfortable with the redhead rapest in relationships that don't crash and burn.

Click to shrink...

It is.
/Shrug.
But it's also AU and starts before any of that took place. Willow is probably changed nearly as much as Xander is in this fiction, to be honest.

Besides, there isn't a single member of the cast... (Okay, aside from Tara and maybe Dawn, depending on how picky you get) that didn't have some kind of extremely sketchy background stupidity going on, and in literally half of them that stupidity was sexual. Xander's was one of the worst. Even if it had worked like he wanted it to. Having a love/obsession spell cast to cause the recipient pain?
Yeah. I am overwriting all that crap. None of it is happening, I can do whatever.
Hope you give it a chance, anyway.

 

[ZeroK and Angel]

It is.
/Shrug.
But it's also AU and starts before any of that took place. Willow is probably changed nearly as much as Xander is in this fiction, to be honest.

Besides, there isn't a single member of the cast... (Okay, aside from Tara and maybe Dawn, depending on how picky you get) that didn't have some kind of extremely sketchy background stupidity going on, and in literally half of them that stupidity was sexual. Xander's was one of the worst. Even if it had worked like he wanted it to. Having a love/obsession spell cast to cause the recipient pain?
Yeah. I am overwriting all that crap. None of it is happening, I can do whatever.
Hope you give it a chance, anyway.

Click to shrink...

Nah, I don't ditch stories on impulse like that. I'm willing to see where an author goes as long as they aren't doing something really egregious *coughDracoApologistsCough* and half the time they are following canon when they do things like that so I can't really ding them too hard *coughSnapecough*.
Overall BTVS is...a shitstorm of horrible decision making just about front to back. So I can't rag on you for making major AU changes. The one or two of buffy fics I have laying around all did. Still, fingers crossed for people acting at least vaguely more...I won't say responsible because we were all young and stupid and sex is part of that. Just hopefully without quite as much As the Cathulu Turns feel
Frankly my last jumpchain just grabbed Dawn, Fred, Tara, and Harmony and buggered off till time was up and let that hellhole burn. -_-

 

[Inbetweenaction]

I know that it's already written, but I would like to point out that Gunnslinger is a class, and that guns do exist pretty far back in Dnd.

They suck, and are expensive(and costs silver or more per shot) which is why no one uses them.

But an artefiser could totally make them.

 

[Datatroll]

I know that it's already written, but I would like to point out that Gunnslinger is a class, and that guns do exist pretty far back in Dnd.

They suck, and are expensive(and costs silver or more per shot) which is why no one uses them.

But an artefiser could totally make them.

Click to shrink...

Maybe? I've never really messed with the gunslinger class, and it doesn't exist I don't believe in Core 3.5 or Eberron, which is what I am loosely basing this on. But even if I did, that skill would be for black powder flintlock style firearms. About the only thing in common between a flintlock and a modern firearm is that both have a barrel that something comes out of, a grip, and a hammer.
Even if I allowed for her to make early guns, it wouldn't include the skill to make new ones.

Thanks for the thought though!

 

[Martin Rudat]

One the one hand Xander's rant is not without merit, given his parents... but on the other hand, in canon, and nearly every fanfic Xander does not tend to live down to his heritage; the only time he does in canon IMO is when he got mind-whammied into leaving Anya at the altar out of fear of living down to his heritage.

Here, she's already got a well paying career on par with the sort of salary someone with Willow's smarts would expect to receive, and unless she royally screws up, she's going to be making stupid amounts of money for the rest of her life.

 

[Inbetweenaction]

Maybe? I've never really messed with the gunslinger class, and it doesn't exist I don't believe in Core 3.5 or Eberron, which is what I am loosely basing this on. But even if I did, that skill would be for black powder flintlock style firearms. About the only thing in common between a flintlock and a modern firearm is that both have a barrel that something comes out of, a grip, and a hammer.
Even if I allowed for her to make early guns, it wouldn't include the skill to make new ones.

Thanks for the thought though!

Click to shrink...

There are cartridges for guns though. They are even more expensive. To make a gunslinger valid, you need perks to make them cheap. But there are both paper and copper ones that you can make. The cartridge make you fire faster and I believe some versions add damage/damage types.

But they are exotic weapons and exist in like a single region.

Also about as damaging as a light crossbow, with horrendous loading time without the feats(edit: I believe it was first in pathfinder that you actually would have any reason what so ever to play with guns over crossbows, and that was only because you now rolled against touch ac.)

 

[Datatroll]

Here, she's already got a well paying career on par with the sort of salary someone with Willow's smarts would expect to receive, and unless she royally screws up, she's going to be making stupid amounts of money for the rest of her life.

Click to shrink...

All true. But that is why they are feelings and not logic. Xander's had Willow on a pedestal for a decade or more. His current situation, and her support during it, wouldn't have knocked her off of that. If anything, it would have held her higher.

But... No need to worry too much. Alex gets her head on straight fairly soon.

 

[Inbetweenaction]

All true. But that is why they are feelings and not logic. Xander's had Willow on a pedestal for a decade or more. His current situation, and her support during it, wouldn't have knocked her off of that. If anything, it would have held her higher.

But... No need to worry too much. Alex gets her head on straight fairly soon.

Click to shrink...

Considering that everyone around them can point out that her basic assumption is no longer valid du to things she herself said five minutes ago conserning her estimated future career and earning potential?

I would imagine so.

It's one thing to shackle the prospective astronaut with a dead end job mechanic in a small town. Another thing for her to shack up with the established artist, enchantress and fashion designer who prior to her big break "earned more than any 3 members of the staff, together" in her high school.

One might be a drag on your future social circle and connections, the other pays for her girlfriends college and university, while keeping her in the fanciest clothing on the market, has her study on the newest computers, while giving her gear enchanted with bonuses to int, Wis and knowledge skills that would financially ruin most adventuring parties.

 

[Martin Rudat]

Cue the clue-by-four to the back of the head of the little voice in Xander's head that keeps telling him that he's no good, so why bother trying.


As far as I know, It's silencing the little voice in people's heads that tells them that they can't succeed so they shouldn't bother even trying that's the hardest part of getting people from... disadvantaged backgrounds to further themselves.

Some interpretations of Cordelia have her needing Xander because he's demonstrated he's not as dumb as he says he is, and she's upset he's not doing the best he can.

 

[Taitenator]

Really enjoying this story so far, haven't really read anything from btvs before and never watched the show but this is still a fun ride even without any context. Looking forward to seeing what happens next after the dramatic end to this chapter.

 

[schism]

@dataroll are you also replacing the old chapters on TtH as you edit them? With the possibility of SV taking offense I'd like the ability to keep reading the remastered version. Also, what's your TtH name since it doesn't seem to be the same as here?

 

[Datatroll]

@dataroll are you also replacing the old chapters on TtH as you edit them? With the possibility of SV taking offense I'd like the ability to keep reading the remastered version. Also, what's your TtH name since it doesn't seem to be the same as here?

Click to shrink...

The same name as here, you probably need to change the filter for 'mature materials' over there. Nothing in it is particularly racy, but I figure if I have it set to max I don't need to stress on worrying about it.
And no, I am not currently updating TtH. I will probably do so when I reach a good point to spend a mind-numbing amount of time doing so, but...

I genuinely can't see the mods having a problem with this. I mean, if they do I'm not going to throw a fit about it. But there are no graphic sex depictions in this story. I am routinely told by readers in other places it is posted that my rating is entirely too high. Anybody reading this for masturbatory inspiration is either going to be unbelievably disappointed or has the lamest fetishes that can even be conceived of. The absolute worst I can possibly imagine would be a mod asking if I wouldn't mind putting a mature tag on it. Since nothing in it even approaches prime time network levels as far as relationship/sex goes, I haven't bothered. I guess I will since people seem concerned. I can deal with people sniveling that the rating is too high again, it won't bother me any. Since you are the second person to bring it up, I legitimately find myself wondering what it is that people think is so bad about this they even think it'll cause a problem.

I wasn't reading the story that was recently voted off the island by the powers that be, but I can't help but think there is a bit of an alarmist mentality going around just now.

 

[Datatroll]

Chapter 9
And then there was one.

>>>>
It's almost twenty minutes before Willow finally calms down, and by then the two of them have picked up an interested group of spectators who are lurking around forty feet or further from the pair. Not quite rubbernecking, but too intrigued to leave the area.

Alex is trying to figure out just how she is going to deal with this in such a way that she manages somehow to keep both her friends and not have to murder half the school for being unconscionably rude when Willow finally takes a shuddering breath just in time for the bell to ring.

As everybody else is getting their books and notes together, she puts a hand on either side of Alex's head. Her still tear-streaked face is set in a look Alex knows far too well, as it signifies when she has dug in her heels and will not be denied. Her so-called 'resolve face.' She pulls Alex's face close and lightly brushes Alex's lips against her own. Less a touch of affection, more of an experiment. Then her eyes slowly close and she pulls Alex in for a chaste kiss, though on the lips.

Alex is blushing to the roots of her hair, just like Willow is, but all the strength seems to have left her limbs. As much as she feels she should stop this, she can't find it in herself to do it.

Willow then releases her head but pulls her in for a final hug and whispers fiercely but lovingly in her ear.

"If I ever hear you talking about yourself like that again, I'll... I don't know what I'll do but you won't like it."

With a final snort that tries to clear her sinuses from the results of her emotional outburst, Willow stands and offers her hand to Alex.

It would be hard for Alex not to notice that she doesn't let go until they are walking into their last class of the day.

>>>>

In the library after class, Alex is sitting at the library table across from Buffy and next to Willow. Willow and Buffy are both talking a mile a minute and Willow grabbed Alex's hand as they walked into the room again and hasn't let go.

Buffy knew. She knew that Willow was standing there. Willow knows that Buffy knew. They may not have planned that exactly, but they had planned something and Buffy just rolled with it when the opportunity came up, is the impression Alex is getting. Which means...

Which means they set her up. The two of them set her up, Buffy pushed until she wasn't thinking and then Willow made it a point to be standing there to hear it. Apparently, the only thing they hadn't counted on is what she would say.

Based on the looks she is getting occasionally from Buffy, she really hadn't counted on that.

'boss'

Now, what the hell are they talking about, anyway? She hasn't been paying attention for like the last ten minutes.

'Boss!'

Alex realizes that Skite is trying to get her attention and closes her eyes.

'Report, Skite. What's up?'

There is a slight pause and then there is an image played for her, with a running commentary. The image is of a smaller gentleman leaving the window of the second floor across the street, then appearing at the door below and starting to cross the street to what Alex realizes is Buffy's house.

'Boss, this person watched slayer's house all day, and now that slayer sister home he comes to her. Now what?'

Alex's eyes snap open and she steamrolls whatever their current conversation is. "Buffy! Call your sister and tell her not to answer the door. Do it right now!"

The Slayer's eyes meet hers in silent confusion for a split second, and then panic hits her face like a bucket of ice water and she all but leaps into Giles' office to use the phone.

Alex closes her eyes again.

'DW. Report.'

As the Arbalester type isn't particularly designed to be social, his report is more in images than anything else. Most of the day was quite boring. Somebody came into the room not long ago and took something from Buffy's closet. Fortunately, DW was hiding under the bed at the time. Report ends.

'There is a man approaching that we believe is probably bad. Prepare for combat. Coordinate with Skite. Do not fire until given permission to or you are attacked. Understood?'

The image of an upraised thumb fills her view and Alex can't help but smile. DW may not be a social powerhouse but he had a charm all his own.

Buffy is at this point running back out into the room. "I told her, somebody started knocking while I was on the phone with her. Who the heck is it?"

Alex shakes her head. "I don't know but according to Skite he's been watching your house all day from the second story across the street."

Buffy blinks as Giles is getting his keys from the office.

"And he's only mentioning this now?"

Alex looks a little abashed. "He's only like two months old, give 'em a break."

Giles gives the keys a jingle and Buffy sprints towards the door with her watcher. Willow starts to run after them but stops when Alex sits back down.

"What are you doing? They're leaving!"

Even with all the craziness that has happened this day, Alex can't help the smirk that forms.

"Yeah, but I'm already there."

Skite flashes him a sensation. An audio and visual bit of nightmare fuel. The man is feeding himself into the house through the mail slot. He seems to be becoming... maggots. Maggots or some other kinda weird little wormy bug.

That could be a problem for DW. He really only has two specialty bolts right now, and neither is the kind of thing you want to use around a friend's house. The scream though, Dawn's scream makes the decision for her.

'DW, we have a hostile at the front door. Try the green tip, maybe we'll get lucky.'

Alex moves her view to the crossbow platform as it exits the window and with breathless ease moves around the house while loading a different bolt. As soon as it has the shot, the bolt is released.

When Alex was considering different ways to make the Arbalester more effective on the cheap, the idea of specialty crossbow bolts was something that came to her. Too many years of watching the Dukes blow things up with bows and dynamite, she supposes. Due to the nature of the delivery system, the amount of substance that she had to work with was small. The red tip bolt is a small amount of alchemist's fire. A peculiar substance that needs to stay bottled up once it stabilizes, as contact with the open air will cause it to explode into flame quite violently. Thinking that such a thing just had to be tried against the vamps, she produced one and it sits on the bottom of the left-hand rack. The other, the green, is acid.

The shot passes through the man as though he isn't even there and hits the door. But then, the delicate acid-filled chamber that fills the bolt collapses against its own weight and the sticky, sizzling green slime sprays out of the holes in the shaft of the rapidly disintegrating projectile and begins to damage everything within five feet.

The effect on maggot man is profound. He collapses into a pile of writhing worms that seems to be mostly trying to painfully disperse from the affected area as quickly as possible. The number that died in the acid wash is beyond counting, but it seems to be that at least half or more of these things were protected from the acid by the bodies of other worms.

Alex picks a spot on the sidewalk far enough away from the house not to damage it, but close enough to nail the majority of the bugs that remain.

'Fire red tip here on my mark, then retreat to Buffy's room quickly.'

As DW is reloading and lining up the shot, Alex contacts Buffy via the earpiece.

"Slayer this is Q, come in Slayer."

"I'm here, we're almost at the house what's going on?!"

"It's some kind of hive bug thing. They were getting into the house through the mail slot, so I had DW use splash damage on him to keep him from Dawn. Try not to touch anything that's smoking. Nasty acid. Right now the bugs are squirming away. Think you can handle it or do you want me to burn them?"

"No, We're here. Keep an eye on things."

So she does. 'DW. Stand down. Return to station under Buff's bed.'

'Skite, take up sentry duty and report anything unusual.'

Alex opens her eyes when she feels a light tug on her shoulder. Willow is sitting next to her in the darkened room, having turned off the lights and locked the door.

"What's going on? Is everybody okay?"

Alex nods then gives her a brief retelling of what has transpired.

"So you saved Dawn then. I mean, without you we wouldn't even have known what happened."

The look of adoration in her eyes is making Alex decidedly uncomfortable. When she leans down to continue the kiss they started earlier, Alex still finds that as much as she feels she shouldn't be here, like this, doing this... She just can't bring herself to make it stop. Scooting her chair closer, Willow rests her head on Alex's shoulder and they both just sit for a few minutes, each in their own way trying to figure out what's going on.

"Slayer to Q, come in?"

Alex jerks from her state of deep thought concerning largely how much a naked Willow might have changed since they were seven. She finds herself whispering her response in the hopes of not bothering Willow.

"I'm here."

There is a slight pause. "I thought we were doing the radio thingie? Whatever. Look, we have most of them handled and Giles says that if this is what he thinks it is, it'll take months at least for it to rebuild its colony from this even assuming it survives. But we were wondering if you could help us with the damage since you're fix-it girl. We've got about two hours until mom gets home and your acid did a number on the door."

"Probably more than just the door. It was designed for around a five-foot burst. Probably easiest to just replace the door itself, but wash up the walls and door frame and check in your basement for leftover paint. Send Giles back here to pick me up and we'll head to the hardware store."

"If we replace the door she'll know, though."

"There won't be any way to hide this, but if we replace it we remove the evidence and she'll have to believe whatever story we give her. Besides, I have an idea."

Alex can almost see the eyebrows of the slayer rise.

"Okay, Alex. As long as this isn't some kind of revenge for earlier."

Alex smiles. "Oh, don't you worry. That's coming. But I wouldn't crap on your home life. You know that."

The light laugh that comes over the earpiece does a lot to ease the tension. The happy sounds that Willow is making as she listens in and is getting the impression that her best friends are still friendly with each other does a lot to help her mood too.

"Alright. Giles is on his way, he'll meet you out front."

>>>>

Thankfully, it isn't difficult to convince Joyce that the damage that caused them to need to do some repainting and replace the door was due to Alex misunderstanding the directions included with her new pressure washer, especially when Alex is still working on the back of the house when she gets home. Convincing Dawn that it wasn't really a maggot man but actually stuff that was living in the door that got forced out by the pressure washer was only accomplished because the young girl so desperately wanted to believe it that her mind glossed over the bulk of the details.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. S. I just got the settings backward for siding and concrete. But I fixed it, so it's okay, right?"

Joyce is looking at the obviously contrite young woman in confusion.

"I'm not mad, and you have obviously cleaned up your mess. So that's fine. I just can't figure out why you decided to pressure wash the house."

Running through the rehearsed near truth, Alex pauses a beat before responding. "Well, you've done a lot for me and my career. So when I saw how badly it needed it, I just thought I would do it for you as a surprise. So... surprise! Oh, and a new door. surprise again! In the interest of, umm, full disclosure though it may have also been my excuse to buy a pressure washer I have been wanting to clean my forge area in the shop."

Joyce smiles, nodding. That sounded a bit more like the teen she knew. Wait a second...

"Forge? You went from no ability to work metal to a full-on forge?"

Alex just shrugs. "I always had the ability. Then I just didn't have the tools. I have been upgrading my shop with some of the money I've been making lately."

Joyce smiles the smile of the cat that caught the canary. "So does this mean I can expect metal masterpieces soon?"

Alex gives a nod. "Probably. I should get home though. It's late, I'm hungry. See you tomorrow, Buffy, take care, Mrs. S!"

>>>>

About two hours later as Alex is getting ready for bed, her earpiece keys up.

"Slayer to Q, you listening in?"

Since Buffy doesn't sound like the situation is an emergency, Alex slides her recently cleaned body between the custom silk sheets that she had Yellow make yesterday before she responds. The feel of it against her skin makes her sigh in contentment. She'd held off on bothering with it until she had sorted out the device to maintain and clean the expensive material with magic, but now that she had a prototype, being the designer had its privileges. Who knew that the garbage zero-level spells 'Mending' and 'Prestidigitation' could be combined into a device housed by an old mini-style hairdryer that had the cord removed? To make the ultimate clothing and cloth products cleaning and maintenance device ever developed by anyone ever?

Thanks to the other effects of 'Prestidigitation' the thing will even fold stuff and make the bed tight enough to bounce a quarter off of. It's really too bad she can't sell this one, she could make ten times the material costs back on each, and when you consider the device itself was three thousand to make, that adds up quick.

"Yeah, I'm here. Heading out?"

There is a slight pause and the sound of hangers being dragged back and forth on a rack. "I'd like to be, but I can't find the silk shirt. Does it fall apart after a while or something?"

Alex grins. "No, but you might check your sister's room. DW saw her digging around in your closet when she got home from school."

There is a growl from the earpiece and then silence for about ten minutes. When Buffy comes back to the line she is not happy, but not as angry as Alex might have assumed.

"The poor kid was sleeping in it, crying. Not sure why she originally borrowed it, but it is a comfort deal now. She was pretty upset that I wanted it back. Can you make her one of her own?"

Alex offers a half-smile to the darkness. "Yeah, that can happen. Same thing exactly?"

Buffy considers for a minute and then responds. "You might make it a little bit bigger if she is going to use it as sleepwear. I might also need one of those cleaner dealies you were telling Willow about here at the house when you get a chance if there is going to be more silk in the house. Incidentally, silk sheets? Nice."

Alex thinks about it while she grins. "I can do that. It'll be a while for the cleaner though, I am finishing up your belt and boots now. It'll be another three days or so for the boots and another four or five for the belt. Then I think we are going to skip ahead to your weapon. Between Skite as a lookout and Drop Waddle as a delivery system I shouldn't need much more for now, and getting you the rest of your basic set is more important."

There is silence for a few seconds as Buffy finishes putting on her armor. "When can we finish up the other two features on the armor? The one where it appears on me and the one where it can look like normal clothes?"

"After the weapon. Then unfortunately anytime I want to upgrade it'll be out of service for a week or more. As the bonuses get bigger, the cost and time restrictions skyrocket. Probably wait on that until I can offer a bit more backup. You ready?"

Alex can almost hear the grin in Buffy's response. "You bet, let's go!"

>>>>

It is a pretty standard patrol, all things considered. The two of them chat, Buffy under her breath to avoid looking like a loon. For the most part, Buffy slays things while Alex provides support in the form of being her eye in the sky and occasionally giving Drop Waddle the go-ahead to nail a fleeing vamp. In five shots taken, he only manages to dust once, but in every case, the Vampire ends up dusted. Apparently, even vampires find it difficult to ignore big pieces of pointy wood sticking out of their bodies, particularly with the extensive extra damage done by the enchantments on the crossbow. Once they have stumbled to a halt to deal with the painful intruder, their fate is sealed by the Buffinator.

After a time though, Buffy stops by an old crypt. "Hey, have you seen Angel anywhere tonight?"

"Nope. Was he supposed to meet you here or something?"

There is silence for a moment. "Yeah. That was the plan."

"Well, no Angel but you do have someone creeping in on your position. I'm guessing a female in her mid to late teens. Dark skinned. She passed under a streetlight that was cycling or I wouldn't have gotten that for you, she's pretty good at staying out of the light but I think that one caught her by surprise."

"She a vamp?"

Alex considers. "I've got no way currently to know for certain, that might be something to look into actually. But the circumstantial evidence is pretty overwhelming. Creeping around a Hellmouth at night and avoiding the light while you stalk a teenager isn't exactly what you put on your resume for an office gig."

Buffy rolls her eyes as she stands from the gravestone she was lounging on. "And yet it is so much of what I do. Okay. Keep an eye out for me. I am gonna go say hi."

What follows is less saying hi and more the two doing their level best to kill each other for about five minutes while Alex frantically tries to line up a shot with DW. Easier said than done with the two of them jumping around like lunatics.

Eventually, they stop for a moment. Both out of breath. Buffy, out of frustration, finally asks.

"Who in the heck ARE you, anyway?!"

The girl looks at her with barely disguised loathing. "I am Kendra. The Vampire Slayer."

>>>>

Author's note.
Okay, people. Fair warning, up to this point I have been fairly kids gloves with the original plots and characters. That is probably gonna come to a crashing and disastrous halt starting next chapter and continuing on as things go, so if you would prefer to stop here and keep all your nostalgic warm fuzzies all safe and sound please feel free. You won't hurt my feelers if you do.

 

[Datatroll]

Chapter 10
What? You Expected Facts?

>>>>
A short comedy of conversational error later, and it becomes clear that while Kendra knew that Buffy existed, she didn't know that this was Buffy. Equally obvious is that Buffy had no clue about Kendra on either count.

Buffy made it a point to leave her mic on during the talk, and after warning Buffy that she was going to do so, Alex calls Giles.

There is a bit of a laugh in the voice of Rupert Giles as he answers his phone, though that ends quickly enough when he realizes who is on the line. "Giles residence, Rupert speaking."

Alex silently thanks whatever gods might be listening and prays that he can sort this out.

"Hey, Giles, Buffy is out on patrol and got in a fight with somebody named Kendra. They just did the equivalent of ten rounds in five minutes and then they bothered to talk. Giles, She says she's the Slayer. So, what did I miss in the whole "One girl in all the world" speech?"

The receiver is covered, Alex assumes by a hand, and there is a short, loud argument that she can't make out. Then Giles once again speaks to Alex. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I would ask that you pass along my request that the two of them come to my flat at their earliest convenience. Should it matter to Kendra, you can inform her that her Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, is currently enjoying my hospitality with a thoroughly annoying smirk on his face."

Alex thinks about that for a second.

"You mean this asswipe brought a second slayer on the Hellmouth and didn't bother to tell you? Is he trying to help the bad guys?"

Giles is obviously speaking through gritted teeth when he responds. "I will pass that information along as soon as I have a satisfactory answer myself. If there is nothing else, please relay my request along to Buffy."

Shaking her head, Alex hangs up the phone by her bedside and keys up the mic again. "Q to Slayer. The G-man requests your presence and that of your friend at your earliest convenience. I get the impression that your earliest convenience should be immediately. Also, you can let Kendra know that Zabuto is hanging out with Giles at the moment. I'll watch your back."

Kendra, getting perhaps understandably annoyed at being ignored, speaks to Buffy.

"Who is it dat you talk to in your little toy dere?"

Buffy offers a smirk. "Just a friend. I am being asked to head back to my watcher. Apparently, a Mr. Zabuto is there too, and wants you to come along."

With that, Buffy turns and starts walking away.

"How do you know my Watcher's name? Why should I trust you?"

Buffy doesn't even bother to turn around, knowing that if the new girl tries anything, she'll hear about it from Alex. "Fine. Don't come. Doesn't matter to me."

Finding herself being left alone in the cemetery isn't bothersome. But Kendra is finding it highly annoying that she lost control of the situation here somehow and doesn't even know how it happened. Hurrying after Buffy, she decides that silence might serve her best until her watcher can straighten things out.

>>>>

Meanwhile, at Giles place.

"So, Zabuto. Care to explain to me why you brought a second slayer to my Hellmouth without telling me? Or why the bloody damned council decided I didn't need to know there was a second slayer to call on?"

The tall, slender, black man smiles, and the brightness of said smile against the near coal-black of his skin sets Giles back, as it always does. Sam Zabuto is a friend. A good watcher, and dedicated to the fight against evil. But what he has done here is all but condoning negligent homicide.

"Calm yourself, Rupert. These are but two of the topics that I must discuss with you this evening. Though, should it make you feel any better I had forbidden my slayer from leaving the hotel until we had a chance to speak. I suspect that the curiosity of being on an actual Hellmouth got the better of her. I will have to have very strong words with her, later."

Sam sips daintily from the tea that Giles provided. As always, the sight of this stretched-out lanky black man using a grip complete with pinkie up that the queen herself would be proud of brings a slight smile to Giles's face.

"I want you to know at the outset that when I was told, I was against you not being made aware of the second slayer. There were those on the council that were concerned that if you knew, you would look at this as a way to retire your own charge if there seemed to be any diminishing in her abilities, and they wanted to attempt to make some progress in the fight for once, instead of this thrice-damned holding action we have dealt with for centuries. Frankly, I can understand their point. You have always been quite protective of your charge and her little groupies. Had her power been stripped, obviously she would be pulled from service with thanks. But since that did not happen, well. You can imagine the senior council's stance on things. I'll not bore you with repeating it."

He takes another sip as Giles considers. Yes, he can well imagine their take on it. As long as she has the strength of a slayer, they will never leave her alone.

"As for why Kendra is here, the Council has tracked William the Bloody and Drusilla the Mad to the Hellmouth. Frankly, we aren't sure what they are up to, but whatever it is, it cannot be good. With two of the remaining three of the Scourge of Europe on your doorstep, plus the general Hellmouth bothers to go with it, it was felt that you might need a bit of help until they were put to dust or had left town."

Sam at this point sighs, and his eyes which had looked everywhere in the room but into those of Giles up to this point finally settled on him.

"The situation might not have called for me at all, except that there has been some concern about discrepancies and inconsistencies in your reports for the last month or two. A slip here or there they can ignore. Everyone does it, on accident or by design to protect an asset, say. But Giles. You had to know that when you described a spell caster able to somehow banish the likes of Eyghon, your own personal nemesis, and then you refuse to offer the name of your benefactor? Anywhere else on the planet, they might have been willing to ignore such a thing, as a courtesy. But an unknown quantity with that kind of power cannot be allowed to stay unknown on an active Hellmouth. You know this, Giles. I shouldn't have to be here to explain such things to you! Combine such an unknown with two master vampires the likes of William and Drusilla... You know the council is not a fan of circumstances. Frankly, had I not volunteered to come here and request an accounting as a friend, there was talk of pulling you back to England for an inquiry and replacing you here. You are a good man, Rupert. A good watcher and a staunch fighter against the evil that plagues the land. But we both know what would happen to you at an official inquiry, Ripper."

Giles' eyes widen as he feels the trap close around his neck. His options are becoming few. He can lie to Sam, always a risky proposition even was the victim of such a less shrewd man than Sam most assuredly is. He can leave the council, likely have his green card revoked and be back in London by spring break. He can refuse to answer, which will see him facing an inquiry that would almost assuredly go poorly for him. The rampage of his youth that earned him the unfortunate nickname Sam had taunted him with would be brought up without a doubt. Or he could throw Xander, now Alex, to these wolves and pray he could be forgiven by whatever is left when they were done with her. He is silent for a few moments. Then he looks at Sam. He looks at the man hard.

"Sam, I must ask. Do you trust me?"

Sam nods, though it must be said he does so hesitantly.

"I trust you to believe you are doing the right thing, Rupert. I do not trust anyone to always know what the right thing is."

Giles gives him a nod. That is a fair answer, and legitimately more than he expected.

"I require two days to confer with and explain things to the person I probably owe my life to."

Sam looks at him oddly. "That is not the way this works, Giles."

Giles cuts him off before he can continue. "That is how it works this time or you may as well wait a few minutes while I quickly pen my resignation for you."

Sam's eyes go wide and he jerks in his chair at the tone in the words he is hearing. 'My dear Giles,' he thinks as he studies his old friend. 'Who is it that has such power, yet you feel you are honor-bound to protect so fervently?'

"Very well, you'll have your two days. Giles, please, I am your friend, whatever else you may think of me at the moment. Don't make me regret this."

When the Slayers arrive shortly thereafter, Sam makes some noise about the two patrolling together tomorrow evening in their efforts to find the two master vampires that are in town, and then he takes Kendra and leaves.

Giles accepts her report and explains about William the Bloody and Drusilla the Mad being in town. Then he asks that she make sure to have Alex with her in the library come afternoon as soon as school lets out for the day. She offers him a confused nod, but heads home.

"Slayer to Q, did you get all that?"

Alex yawns. These late nights are getting to her a bit. She doesn't have the freaky Slayer constitution to do this all the time. Though being in her bed while doing it probably isn't helping her on the staying awake front.

"Yeah, I heard it. So, the council sent somebody and now he wants to make sure to talk to me. I'll give you ten to one odds on a fifty-dollar bet that part of the reason he's here is to investigate little old me."

Buffy sighs. "Yeah, no bet. Things were going so good, too. Stupid council. Stupid rules."

Alex thinks about it. "Wait, you're talking about those rules where you have to work alone? Didn't I already disprove that crap when I wrecked a prophecy and literally brought you back from the dead?"

Buffy rolls her eyes at the stupidity of the world. "Yeah, and thanks again for that by the way. I know you didn't need to go with Angel. I'm just really lucky you did since he told me he couldn't have done the CPR that saved me."

Alex is laughing so hard she almost chokes on her own spit when she finds herself having to sit up.

"Q? Are you okay?"

Alex gets herself under control. Barely.

"Oh, god that is some funny shit right there. Deadboy never bothered to tell you why he was there, did he? Buffy, both he and Giles were so sure you were doomed that they sat around on their worthless asses and waited to hear you were gone. I had to go to Angel's place and basically guilt trip the idiot into showing me where to go. As far as he was concerned, you were already dead. Ask him sometime what actually happened. I'd be curious to know if he admits the truth or just lies to your face."

Buffy has stopped walking. She wants to deny it. But thinking back, had Angel ever said anything that would contradict this? Or had he just avoided the conversation? Usually with a kiss. She starts walking towards home again, though a bit slower.

"I'm a little curious myself. I probably will ask him. Why did you come after me, anyway? I mean, don't get me wrong I am totally glad you did. But it was crazy dangerous for you."

Alex, having finally managed to get control of the last of her giggles, is sipping a bit of water from the glass on the bedside table before she answers.

"I have fairly compelling evidence it was pretty dangerous for anybody, Buff. But you're my friend. What kinda friend would I be if I let you walk into hell alone? Besides, anytime I get worried about whether or not I am doing the right thing in a dangerous situation, I just think 'What Would Buffy Do?' And... then I do a slightly more sane and less physically demanding version of that."

Buffy can't help but giggle at that a little bit. "Thanks again for the assist, Alex. Home now though. Can I borrow Skite and DW again tomorrow?"

After sending out the commands to his homunculus, she responds.

"Sure thing. Leave your window open though. I need to reload Drop Waddle for his guard duty, so he'll be making a trip here real quick. Sleep tight, Slayer."

"You too, Q. Hey, that rhymes!" Her transmission cuts out immediately after that, mid giggle.

A few minutes later, DW hovers into the room and sets down on the floor, where Green gives him a quick cleaning and checks him for wear, then reloads him. Then he leaves, a sense of pride in his little mechanical heart. He was useful. He was loved. He was needed. If there was anything better, it was probably a lie as far as he was concerned.

>>>>

The next day at school.

Willow looks at Alex curiously as she approaches the big board that supposedly has everyone's future dream job on it. "So what did you get?"

Rolling her eyes, Alex responds. "Something called 'Artistic Expression and Interior Design.' How they got that from my answers I have no idea because I just made a wavy pattern with the bubbles. My personal theory is that somehow Joyce and our art teacher are conspiring against me. We may have to get Buffy involved with the teacher. Wouldn't be the first time."

Willow rolls her eyes at Alex's answer and then makes a move to go look at the board. Alex stops her.

"You're not up there. I checked."

Willow looks very much like she had just been told her dog had died.

In a blender.

That was also full of babies.

"Really? But I filled it all in, I even double-checked to make sure all the little circles were full so the scanner wouldn't have trouble."

Buffy's voice pops up from behind them both.

"No Trouble Willow. You can join me for mine. I might need a witness or an alibi or something anyways."

Willow looks confused, and Alex grins having already seen it.

"Did you get bank robber or something? Is that a thing you can get?"

Buffy laughs.

"Nope. I got police officer. Woman. Whatever. Kinda not my thing. My plan is to participate until Snyder is done being a jerky jerk-face and watching my every move and then I am going to disappear into the library. Giles said he had an entry in one of his books on worm dude and I wanted to take a look. In case there are more grub assassins inbound."

Alex immediately looks at her. "See, now that is important. That is life-saving. That is not interior design. That is what we should all be doing right... after we get done with this lovely career fair put on by the bestest principal ever." Willow and Buffy both look at her like she may have been dropped as a child. More than once. "Oh, sorry sir. I didn't see you there, standing behind Buffy like you were."

The two turn around and see that Snyder has come within millimeters of invading Buffy's personal space.

"I'll be watching you Summers. You and your little pack of felons in the making." He turns to Alex. "It's sad, too. After some of the things I had heard from your art teacher I had hoped that maybe you might be better than this."

Alex makes it a point to look nervous. "Felons, sir? I don't want to get into any kind of trouble." Alex backs up a step. "Do you think they're dangerous?"

Snyder has a look on his face as though Christmas and St. Valentine's day had a kid and then chained her under his desk to keep him company on long days of filling out paperwork on malcontent idiots.

"Oh, yes. Summers is our resident bully and probable arsonist while Willow here was once joined at the hip with the most worthless scrap of flesh ever to darken my doors. Thankfully, he's been listed as missing or dead. Maybe she can straighten out now and fly right without that albatross tied to her neck."

Willow watches the blood drain from Alex's face and takes his hand to lead her away to the girl's restroom, the one place of respite from the vile little man.

Shortly after their escape from the principal, Willow is requisitioned by a man in a business suit to go see some kind of special presentation with a senior named Daniel. A nice enough guy, though one known for having hair and nails of any color at any time and being able to justify it by being in a band.

Right after that, Alex gets shanghaied into the room that has been set aside for her.

Well, she's right. It must have been Joyce behind it because it's Joyce in the room.

"Heya Mrs. S." Alex looks around. "So... What are we doing here?"

Joyce just smiles. "The school was looking for professionals in town to assist, and thinking of you I offered if they would make sure that you ended up with me. It wasn't a difficult sell, really. They would have had to go to Los Angeles to find anyone more qualified. That covers what I am doing here. What you are doing here is listening for another..." She glances at the wall clock behind her and then back to Alex. "Forty-eight and a half minutes. You have all the talent to make a huge splash, but there are a number of pitfalls that you'll need to learn to navigate, and frankly, you are worth the effort. Also, doing it this way you actually have to listen. I know how teenagers work."

Alex grins. "Okay Mrs. S. Shower me with the wisdom of the not-very-aged-and-still-looking-good-thank-you-very-much."

What follows is nearly an hour of hearing about shyster art dealers, museums that will offer the moon and then plead poverty, the need to always ask for half upfront on all commissions, and many, many other tricks of the trade that Joyce believed would serve her well in the coming years. Some were obvious in hindsight and others were the kind of mistakes that an artist might make their whole life if it wasn't pointed out to them. Once they are getting close to their time, Joyce waves her off to leave as she apparently has the actual group coming in next, and they are unlikely to be near as fun.

Checking the clock again as she walks out the door, Alex heads over to the station where Buffy should be meeting her cop, expecting that Willow would be heading there as well.

She is still pretty far away when the shot rings out. At her new shortened height it is tough to see what is going on, and with everyone running away from the gunfire and into her, it only makes it harder. Then she makes it clear. She sees Willow, on the floor. Sitting, with the hand of another student in her lap, tears again rolling down her face as Buffy sprints down the hallway after somebody, most likely another assassin. As she approaches, Willow looks up.

"He, he pushed me out of the way. He just saw the gun was going to hit me when Buffy ducked and he pushed. He saved me, Alex, can, can you?"

Sadly, Alex has to shake her head. Even if she had been here when it happened she doubted she could have saved the guy. Even with magic, it's tough to beat a bullet hole that goes in one side of the skull, and out the other. She kneels in front of Willow and her savior, some memory from a past life making her run her hand over his eyes and mumble a short prayer.

Sorry, Oz.

>>>>

Author's note.
Well, given the admittedly minimal, but still noticeable dissatisfaction I got in the comments (Both in previous postings and this one, so the trend continues!) concerning the Alex/Willow pairing, I can only imagine what this is gonna bring down.

But really, as much love and respect as I have for Seth Green as an actor and a creator, the character Oz was more or less a placeholder for 'Willow's Romance Option' until Tara showed up when all was said and done. Even Seth admitted by the end that he wasn't doing much for the show, saying that his character was always better in small doses. Take away the relationship with Willow, and pretty much what he brought to the group was... Access to a van? Some dry wit? The occasional scene of some manner of quirky off-beat comedy related to his lycanthropy? (Oddly full today?)

Long story short, I don't need him here. Sooo... Buh-bye!

 

[Datatroll]

Chapter 11
Dust in the Wind.

>>>>
It is almost six in the evening before the crew manages to meet at Jenny and Alex's house, having all made statements for the police and then had to sit around as between Buffy being directly involved and Willow with Alex having been the closest to the victim that died, they all had whole books of questions to answer. They are all tired, all wrung out. To top it off Joyce, while she has allowed Buffy to come over to 'console Willow and Alex' is expecting her daughter home by nine and Buffy isn't liking her odds of getting out tonight to patrol.

Giles is the first to speak up to the group sitting around the living room.

"Buffy, just explain what happened."

One eye-roll later, Buffy begins speaking.

"I walked up to the table for the kids that scored as 'Cop' and she called my name. I answered that I was there. She pulled her gun and fired. I ducked, then attacked. I don't think she was expecting that or things might have gone worse for me. I am guessing it was that first shot that killed Oz since after that I think everybody had pretty much hit the deck. I did see a ring on her finger Giles, but I swear I didn't see it until after she fired. She must have hidden it somehow."

Giles nods, looking thoughtful. "It is a known occurrence among their ilk. The woman got away as well, as I understand the story that was bouncing around the school."

Buffy grimaces at that point. She had tried so hard to run her down, but she kept coming up with guns and running, finally managing to slip into a car a few blocks away and peeling out while Buffy was stuck hiding behind cover.

"Yeah. Can I just say Giles, that I still really hate guns?"

Nodding in sympathy Giles simply agrees by way of a look and patting her shoulder with his hand.

"As important as this is, however, I am afraid I have some bad news that will probably have to take precedence. Alex, I have... Well, I have not lied in my reports to the council concerning you, but I have been less than forthcoming with details such as your identity, or the specifics of the items you have been making. Merely noting that a crafter of magical paraphernalia had set up shop on the Hellmouth. Nothing terribly unusual about that as long as the power of the items is not brought into things. I had rather hoped that keeping things vague would serve us for longer than it did, but with your successful removal of Eyghon the council has become more interested in your identity."

Giles removes his glasses and begins polishing them while he collects his thoughts.

"They have given me two days, only one of which remains, to divulge what I know about you. Frankly, Alex, they have me over a barrel. Thanks to the indiscretions of my youth, they can and if they desire to will, destroy me in a professional inquiry that will undoubtedly see me locked up for a few years in a room with no windows and only rats for company. I can resign my position instead, historically speaking they will then only use legitimate law enforcement with which to harass me, but the very fact that they would do so would make it all but impossible for me to be of any real assistance to Buffy aside from the most basic research, as many of the books I use belong to the council."

Giles pans his eyes over the crowd. None are willing to meet his eyes, it isn't difficult to see where this is going.

"I could lie to Zabuto. It would be a temporary solution at best and would be far worse for all of us when it was inevitably discovered. Finally, with your permission, I could introduce you to Zabuto and let him decide what to tell the council, with hopefully some well-heeded advice and requests from me."

Alex looks around the living room.

"I am obviously missing something here Giles. You seem really reluctant for the people you work for to know who I am. Dare I even ask why that is? I mean, I know that they are super traditionalists and kinda douchebags to the slayer, and yeah, for that they aren't my favorite people. But really, they can't declare war on every magic user that exists. Why should I care if they know who I am?"

Giles puts his glasses back on. "You're right of course. Except that there are a few things that stack against you. First, the magic that you use is unlike anything that any mage they control uses. Making you an unknown. Which makes them concerned, particularly when you are so close to their slayer. The second is that you are supplying the slayer. Something they generally disapprove of. But really Alex, the problem is that you do not seem to understand the depth of the power that you can wield. To make this shirt of Buffy's would take any other mage months to produce, assuming they could do it at all. Before you, there was no way to produce holy water aside from having access to a priest type of one sort or another. You can craft your own servants, sans any form of necromancy. Even disciplines that have managed such a thing take years to do so, you take days."

Giles looks Alex in the eyes.

"To put it bluntly, you are shattering belief in rules that have been immutable for thousands of years that we know of. If the council were to ever learn the true scope of your nature, they would stop at nothing to control you. Failing that, I suspect that they would attempt to terminate you. They would say they were doing so for the good of mankind. I am ashamed to say there was a time I might have agreed with them."

This makes everyone lean back and consider. Willow leans into Alex's side and holds her hand while she does so.

Finally, Alex looks at Giles. "So, what if we give them a variation of what they want?"

Giles raises an eyebrow. "How so?"

Alex extricates herself from Willow and stands up, reaching into her book bag that was sitting by the couch and pulling out a beret that she puts on her head at a rather jaunty angle.

Then she changes.

She seems to get a few inches shorter, down to five feet. Her posture becomes stooped. Her hair goes from a dark brown to a grayish-white, and her face becomes a nest of wrinkles and old scars.

Her clothes go from sensible jeans and t-shirt ensemble that she had worn all day to a long brown robe that drags on the floor. One of her eyes flashes over to a milky white mess that obviously can't be seen out of, and the other goes from deep brown to an almost sky blue. Most of her teeth fade from sight, and the ones that remain are twisted and decayed, looking painful to even see.

She looks at Giles.

"You didn't really think I hadn't made myself a few toys, did you?" Curiously, her voice remains unchanged and the sound seems incongruous at best coming from an aged old crone.

The rest of the room is caught between awe and disgust at what they are seeing. Willow is the first to say anything, looking rather panicked.

"Please say you didn't really become that. Please."

Ending the effect and instantly looking normal once again, Alex laughs as she sits back down.

"Of course not. If I could mold flesh that easy, I'd see about being me again. At least if that wouldn't mean going back to my parently and detention until I die. No, it's just a disguise spell built into a hat. Mental control. Lasts indefinitely, though I suspect it would fail if you went to sleep with it on. But the point is if I talked to them looking like something I wasn't, then later on when they were trying to run me down if they decided to cause trouble, they'd be hard-pressed to find me if you get what I am saying."

Giles finally finds his voice.

"Where did you find the time to create such a powerful item with everything else you've been doing?"

Alex giggles. "Powerful? Nope. This one is easy peasy. Takes a couple of days to put this together. But it has some limitations. I mean, it's just an illusion. Nothing tactile transfers. So I'll need to build a disguise outfit to wear with whatever look I decide to go with that will handle that. It also doesn't make you any stronger, no matter how big you try to make yourself look. It doesn't keep you warmer, no matter what it looks like you are wearing. But for a single meeting, I think I can come up with something that'll fly. Unless you think it's a bad idea, Giles. I mean, you know these assholes way better than any of us."

Giles considers.

"The problem isn't what do I think they will want to do. The problem is how far they will be willing to go to achieve it. Unless you are willing to leave the area and cut off contact after this meeting if they truly wish to know your identity, it is likely they will be able to ferret it out. At that point, anything you have done to conceal yourself will count against you."

He looks thoughtful for a moment. "My suggestion would be to use your device to change your appearance enough that a picture or solid witness would show a difference and get you off the hook, but somebody who saw you in dim light might still pull you out of a lineup. That gets you the benefit of some anonymity without destroying your credibility. This is of course assuming you are willing to take the risk at all. I am willing to turn in my resignation to them if it comes to that. I owe you no less, for any number of things you have done, both before and after Halloween."

Alex glances up at that and sees Buffy blushing, Jenny and Willow both looking proud, and Giles merely looking sincere in his offer.

"As I understand it, you quit under these circumstances, they make you miserable and Buffy gets stuck with a new watcher that may or may not be worth the spit it would take to put out the fire were he burning, correct?"

Giles nods. "That is indeed the case."

"Naw, that's too much. Tell your buddy I'll see him tomorrow, at your place, at seven. Just you, me, Zabu, and the two slayers. Now, what do I tell the guy."

Jenny groans. "If I am understanding Giles, as little as you can possibly get away with."

"Essentially correct, though there are a few points that you should try to avoid bringing up even if pressed. Namely your minion automatons, and the power of the items you build. If they want an example, have something on you that is relatively harmless to showcase for them."

Alex nods. "I have something that would fit the bill. But what are we going to do about tonight's patrol, Giles? If Buffy can't make it out, that puts Kendra doing a solo run on the Hellmouth. I understand she's a slayer and all, but that is still horseshit. Plus Angel's missing."

Buffy looks sad, but still astonished that Alex of all people brought that up.

"Yeah, we need to find him. He could be hurt!"

Alex tries to look concerned, yet in control when she turns to Buffy.

"That is part of it. But also, he's the third and last of the scourge that's left and his two former besties are in town. If they've found some way to shove him off the deep end we need to deal with him. But if he hasn't, we need to get him under wraps somewhere so whatever these two other lunatic leeches are trying will fail. Besides, what do you think Kendra would do if she came across a vampire that matched Angelus' description?"

Buffy scowls. "Bitch better not."

Giles motions his hands in a placating gesture.

"Moving past that if we can, Alex has made some good points. Willow, Jenny, could I bother you to cross-reference police reports for bodies found with likely hideouts? Perhaps they've made a mistake."

Alex thinks back. Something is tickling her brain. Wait a minute...

"Giles, once a vampire has a lair, what is the likelihood that they'll move on unless they have to? Because the morning after Halloween, when Skite met us in the library, he said that he'd tracked the blonde vampire back to a warehouse and came back to me once it was light out. Considering who was around that night, how much do you wanna bet that the blonde vampire was Spike?"

The room freezes. Then Giles speaks.

"You know where he is? Why didn't you say so before?"

Alex looks a little ashamed but mostly annoyed. "I'll tell you what Giles, we'll go ahead and let you know something that may or may not matter in the future, then chop your junk off and staple tits to your chest. See how important it seems to you then."

Giles goes from irritated to contrite in the span of a heartbeat. "Point taken. Is there a way to verify?"

Alex nods, her eyes already shut. "I already am. Gimme a couple of minutes, Skite is having a hard time finding a way in."

Collectively the group seems to be holding their breath as they watch her eyes moving about like mad behind closed lids, as though she is taking in the details of a quickly moving slide show behind her eyes.

"Okay, he's in. A bad spot in the roofing. They... Oh, Buff. They've got Angel chained up to a support beam and it looks like they've worked him over pretty good. I'm almost positive that even on a vampire all that stuff is supposed to be on the inside."

Giles breaks in. "If he has been subjected to a disemboweling then it is worse than you probably realize." At Alex's grimace, he continues. "That is where vampires store their blood. Without blood, they can't regenerate. It puts the entity into a wretched position where their demonic thirst completely controls them until the blood passing through them has managed to regenerate enough of their body to maintain a supply. Soul or not Buffy, right now, Angel is a blood-crazy fiend that will kill if released."

Buffy is beside herself with horror, but still willing to speak her mind.

"We need to get him out of there. Like, now."

Alex speaks, her voice quiet, distracted. Almost wraith-like. "Wait. Giles, I see one of your books here on a desk. Something something 'Du Lac.' I remember putting it back one time after Willow was looking through it."

Giles looks as though he's been run through. "Oh, dear."

After a moment's silence, Jenny nudges him.

"Come on, English. Speak up!"

Glancing at her quickly, Giles then looks to Buffy. "There are rumors that Drusilla was damaged by a mob in Prague. For a while, it was even believed that she had been destroyed. Nobody knows the extent of the damage, but the Du Lac manuscript is one of the few known sources of medicinal knowledge that can be applied to Vampire physiology. I've no clue what they are up to specifically as the manuscript has been encoded, but with vampires, most things tend to revolve around blood and succession. As Angelus was the sire to Drusilla, I can only assume that is the case here."

Alex turns to Giles, her eyes still closed. "Whatever we're gonna do we better do it quick. Spike, Drusilla, I think our cop friend from earlier, and like twelve kids in chains around ten years old just walked in. I'm getting Skite out of there."

Willow, still holding Alex's hand, mumbles in a lost tone. "Why would they need little kids?"

Giles stands. "Because they need Angel feeding non-stop. Likely they intend to somehow use his blood to regenerate Drusilla and they need him unable to refrain from killing."

As though someone had just opened a gate, the entire crew bursts into action. Giles steps to a phone and calls Zabuto, already fingering the keys to his car, as he will need to get weapons from the boot. Jenny and Willow go to the study where the techno-pagan and her new apprentice begin looking through books and her computer files for anything that could help. Buffy pulls her armor out of her gym bag and heedless of whoever else might be in the room, strips down to her smallclothes and begins getting ready for battle.

Alex goes to her room and readies herself for bed. It occurs to her that the universe isn't entirely fair in this instance, but since for once it is being unfair in her favor she is unwilling to complain about things.

"Q calling slayer. Come in slayer."

There is a moment of silence. "I'm here. So were you, where did you go?"

Alex can't help but release a slight smirk, despite the gravity of the situation.

"Same place I always am these days when it all goes to hell. Look, do me a favor and when you start your assault, make it a point to bust out some of those big high windows. Maybe a skylight. I need an access point for Drop Waddle. Getting him in the area now. Skite is still standing by."

Buffy frowns. "Kendra will be there. Maybe even Zabuto. Are you sure you want to be involved?"

Alex rolls her eyes. "Twelve kids, Buffy. We don't have time for me to be hiding from the big, bad, council when there are twelve lives on the line. If anybody asks, just tell them DW is a remote-controlled thing. It might work. Hell, it isn't even a lie. Mostly."

Buffy finds herself nodding. It is hard to deny the logic. Or the need for help.

"Hey, Buffy. You guys better hurry. They are hooking tubes up to Angel and Drusilla now. They are at the abandoned warehouse on Pines. The one with the big red garage door. Probably a dozen fledges, Spike, Drusilla, the cop. It looks like they stole a bunch of stuff from an evil church or something and set it up in there. So be careful, who knows if any of it has oddball religious effects or anything."

Ten minutes later, Giles and Buffy meet Sam and Kendra in front of the warehouse. Kendra turns to Buffy as she gets out a few stakes and secrets them about herself. "What is the plan, den, Buffy? It is your town."

Nodding thankfully, Buffy opens her mouth to outline her idea when her earpiece cues up.

"Buffy, you need to get in there and stop this, they have Angel feeding!"

Without another word, Buffy turns and runs toward the man-sized front door to the warehouse, flinging a brick at the high windows as she goes, which DW slips inside a few moments later after Buffy hits the front door like a runaway truck. Kendra and the two watchers, shocked for a moment, are quickly sprinting after her as she begins fighting the fledgling vampires that are guarding the entrance.

The assassin, perhaps out of bad luck or simply being overeager to finish the assignment and get away from all of these vampires that keep looking at her as though she might make an acceptable snack, is the first to go. Rupert Giles sees her pulling a gun on his slayer and with barely a thought, he puts a crossbow bolt into her skull, then steps over the corpse. His inner Ripper giggles with glee at the shocked look on the dead woman's face.

As this is happening, Drop Waddle is lining up a shot on Drusilla.

With the red tip.

By the time that the fight has spilled into the warehouse proper and Drop Waddle has a shot, Angel has been force-fed five children, and the area around him is now littered with their corpses. Spike is in the process of pulling the tubes on his beloved Dru, speaking as he does so. "Damn Slayer. Sorry Luv, hope that was enough. We've got to go."

That is when the bolt enters the back of the woman. The wood in her heart causing her to dust, and spraying the alchemist's fire on Spike. Screaming in agony, rage, and consumed by grief the blond vampire runs. Disappearing into the recesses of the warehouse and out into the night through a side door, desperately trying to put out the fire that is consuming his flesh.

Before long, the pair of slayers have reached what is left of Angel. Still gnawing on the corpse of a blonde girl in a pair of pajamas featuring the cast of "Winnie the Pooh" playing volleyball. Trying to lick away any last bits of sustenance that might be drawn from it.

Kendra goes to stake him, and when Buffy grabs her, screaming "NO!" The world stops, for just a moment. As the crossbow bolt fired by Sam Zabuto enters the vampire's chest, and for a millisecond Angel's eyes clear before in agonizing slowness he also crumbles to dust.

>>>>

Authors Note:
I did say we would be going off the rails a tad, did I not?

 

[Inbetweenaction]

well, at this rate you might have to introduce a few OC, Couse the cast list keep getting slimmer and slimmer...

 

[ZeroK and Angel]

well, at this rate you might have to introduce a few OC, Couse the cast list keep getting slimmer and slimmer...

Click to shrink...

BTVS is somewhat infamous for it's cast turnover so it's really not that far out of script for the series. Now for the Buffy throwing a fit about her extra extra dead boyfriend ignoring the pile of dead kids to just keep it totally in tone, but she is doing a lot better so far in this story so hopefully that will slap the last of the Joss Whedon off her brain.

 

[Knived]

Woo that a doozy. Kinda sad that angels is dead but before the angel tv show he was kinda creepy as all hell. But i bet he will be forced to return

 

[EnygmaSoul]

With this many pretty butterflies, I begin to suspect a crossover with Disney's Encanto.

 

[Datatroll]

Authors note: I have decided that rather than embarrass myself horribly, I am just not even going to bother to try to 'accent' Kendra's speech anymore. I am pretty sure I am mangling it horribly anyway. Feel free to use your imagination to make up the difference if you must.

>>>>

Chapter 12
Standoff.

>>>>
The silence stretches on for nearly a full ten seconds while a shocked and horrified Buffy slowly turns to face her boyfriend's killer. Sam, clearly having no idea what exactly he has done over and above getting rid of a child-killing vampire, has come forward and is attempting to remove the shackles from the remaining children. He has time to tell Kendra to keep watch before Buffy takes the first step towards the man she has decided to kill.

She stumbles. Looking down, she stops, and tears fill her eyes as she sees again this time in perfect detail, the young girl that Angel was mutilating when he 'died.'

She can hear the soothing tones of Zabuto as he tries to calm the children.

Feels the tentative grip of Giles on her shoulder.

She turns to her watcher and buries her face in the man's chest, the tears soaking the material and her shoulders heaving as her body represents physically the damage to her soul.

Giles speaks softly over Buffy's shoulder.

"I need to get my slayer home, her mother was quite upset about some things that happened at school today. Will you be able to finish up here?"

Zabuto gives Giles an odd look, but nods. "I will see you tomorrow evening, Giles. We have things to discuss, as well as William to either find or verify dead."

>>>>

The two leave, watcher all but carrying his distraught slayer. Pausing only to scrounge the desk in the corner for a few tomes, including the one that had been stolen from the library, as well as some oddities that Giles suspects are magical in some way. The ride back to Buffy's house is quiet, and against all odds, it would appear that she will be getting home on time.

The two sit in the idling car for a time in front of the Summers' home. Before she does finally get out of the car, Buffy comes to a decision.

"I want him gone. I don't want to hear about how he didn't know. I don't care about what he had just seen, I found it bad enough myself that I never want to think about it again. But I want him the fuck off the Hellmouth or I won't promise what will happen to the son of a bitch if I see him again."

Giles nods. He had expected as much. Frankly, he had expected worse. Slayers, in general, tended to be an emotional lot and this would have been tough for anybody, slayer or not.

"I will need to see him tomorrow evening, but I will try to see him gone after that. I'll not ask you to join us for that meeting."

Buffy doesn't answer. She just gets out of the car and walks into the house. When she sees her mother, the tears come back and she collapses in her arms.

>>>>

Alex watches Kendra and her Watcher through Skite as they walk their seven survivors the five blocks to an all-night diner by the freeway. Once there Sam buys the children something to eat with cash and uses the payphone by the bathrooms to place a call. After that, he wipes down the phone with a cloth, and the two leave. While Skite was unable to hear the phone conversation the fact that the homunculus can hear the police sirens before the two have even made it to the front door tells her who they called.

She loses a bit, as DW has arrived to get resupplied and Alex has to concentrate on the here and now for a few minutes. When he is again in bed and paying attention, she can see that the two are investigating a sewer cover about a block from the warehouse that has been left off of its hole. Her view is not the best, as Skite has foregone the air in an effort to get just a little closer to listen in as the two talk.

"Watcher Zabuto, who was the vampire that you killed at the end? Buffy seemed upset."

Sam nods as he continues his investigation, attempting to determine if Spike had lived long enough to get this far or if this cover being off was a coincidence. It is the Hellmouth, after all.

"I cannot be certain, my Slayer. He was in rough shape. But I believe it was Angelus, of the Scourge of Europe. If I am correct, then this has been a great day, to see the end of two of the remaining three at least."

"But Watcher, why would his own friends do such a thing to him?"

Sam smiles. This is why he is a watcher. In spite of all their strength and speed, killing instincts, and will to overcome, Slayers are always young and usually naive. He is needed for this reason.

"Ah, my slayer. You ask a very good question. The answer is that I do not know. Watcher Giles and I will no doubt try to discover the answer tomorrow, as it may offer insight into the actions or future plans of William the Bloody. Assuming that he still exists. But never forget, my child, the Hyena and the Lion."

Kendra smiles. She likes it when her watcher goes all Aesop's fables with her. It almost lets her experience the childhood that her training had mostly denied her.

"I do not think my watcher has told me this lesson. Perhaps he should, lest I be forced to ask the question many more times."

Sam nods and schools his features into his storytelling look, which he believes is wise, but Kendra can't help but think looks like he is a constipated ape that can't find any prune juice. She giggles under her breath. Sam begins the walk back towards the hotel as he speaks.

"Long ago in a land far from here, there was a small village. The people worked hard, and for many years they did well for themselves. But one day people in the village began to turn up missing. Where did they go? Many asked this question. Finally, a young man was sent out of the village to find them. On the path, he came across a Lion who was eating a small boy from the village. The Lion was being harassed by Hyenas. The young man was brave, strong, and skilled, but perhaps not as smart as he could be. When he sees what is happening, he uses his bow and shoots the Lion in the eye, killing it. Can you guess what happened then?"

Kendra's heart drops. This isn't going to be a fun story. This is going to be the kind of story that only tells her that she shouldn't have asked the question, as the answer is actually rather obvious.

"The Hyenas kill the young man, don't they?"

Sam nods. "It is a more difficult lesson than most believe. I do not blame you for asking. But despite the popular witticism, the enemy of my enemy means nothing. It is an unknown at best, and likely one prone to violence. The forces of evil squabble amongst themselves constantly, taking advantage of it to thin their numbers whenever possible is not only the smart thing to do, it is the right thing to do. Never forget that."

The two fall into a respectful silence after that. Alex brings Skite back to Buffy's house as a lookout once they are back in their hotel room for the evening as Sam has decided that killing two master vampires and a dozen more besides was enough for one night.

>>>>

Alex spends some time the next day after school sorting out her disguise. Deciding to keep things simple, she goes from brunette to blond, from brown eyes to green, from somewhere between sixteen and eighteen years old to thirty-five or so, reduces the appearance of her breasts down to reasonable from their normal D's to a modest B, and finally she makes a few subtle changes to where her cheekbones seem to be that alter her facial structure a bit.

The result is a brand new person that with contacts and a wig could almost be her own mother, but would only get mistaken for her wearing a hooded sweatshirt in terrible lighting by a legally blind man.

Creating the clothes for this is simple enough, though she isn't thrilled about having to bind her own breasts as tight as she needs to in order to make sure that the illusion will hold up under a random touch, accidental or on purpose. Spending a few minutes practicing in front of a mirror a few odd mannerisms, tapping her fingernails on her lower lip, rubbing her earlobe between thumb and forefinger, and adding just the slightest southern twang to her voice. Not enough to be silly, but just a touch.

She legitimately never thought she would get this much use out of the few days of training she has in disguise, but damned if it isn't coming in handy now. Dang know-it-all rogue said it would. At least, he did in her memories. Between her natural charms and the hat, she feels pretty good about her odds of pulling this off.

Catching the local news reveals that the children had apparently all been abducted from an orphanage in town. The 'Richard Wilkins the First Memorial Orphanage' to be exact. They averaged age ten but ranged from nine to twelve years old. Apparently, there are still five missing. So the search is still on to find the dead ones as well as the murderers of three of the orphanage staff that died during the abduction. It doesn't seem possible that out of seven children none of them could find their way back to the warehouse to show the cops, so Alex is left to assume that something hungry found the bodies first.

Just another day on the Hellmouth.

>>>>

Giles picks her up at six. He raises an eyebrow at the hairdryer she brings along but doesn't say anything. The drive over is quiet, and when they arrive Giles offers tea while they wait. Once they are both sitting, Giles is the first to speak.

"The illusion is amazing. I have been keeping an eye on you since I picked you up and I cannot find a gap in it to exploit. Once Zabuto is here, I shall try to keep the meeting short. The less time he has to spot a problem, the better off we are. But know that he will be bringing his slayer, and for obvious reasons, Buffy will not be here. Whatever happens, it cannot come to violence."

Alex nods, having expected as much. "Have you talked to Buffy today?"

Giles blows on his tea, then takes a sip.

"Briefly, during lunch. She is intending to try to ignore her feelings until Zabuto is gone, then I would imagine there will be some blood-filled nights for a fortnight or so until she has burned through the bulk of her grief. Not said in as many words, you understand. But still, an unmistakable path once one has parsed through the dialog. I do hope I can count on Willow and yourself to help the poor girl in her time of bereavement."

"Of course, what kind of friend would I be if I wouldn't?"

"Something less than one, I would think. What will we be using for your name?"

Alex grins. "Would you believe Alexandra?"

Giles frowns slightly. "Don't you think that keeping it so close to your given name and your chosen current name will make things problematic?"

Alex shrugs. "Maybe, Giles. But look, I have some magic to help and an honest face maybe. But my actual training in espionage-type skills is less than a week and it was given by a crusty old bastard rogue that was missing both a hand and his sense of humor. One of the few things he told me that really stuck, was that the biggest reason that false identities fail is that amateurs don't respond to the name in a convincing way. People can tell when you flub that up, trained or not the human animal will key up on it, and once they have determined that you've lied about it they'll never trust you. It is better by far to be an unknown than the one who lies in the eyes of most people. I am no super spy. Hell, the only reason I have the training I do was for getting into and out of walled towns and cities without trouble. Trust me, the guys that pull guard duty ain't generally the brightest. I didn't need to be that good. Given how poor I am at the game, I need to skew things in my favor. So, Alexandra. My only saving grace here is that I have some training and some magic to back it up. I am betting that Sam has neither."

Giles considers what she has said, and despite trying he can find no flaw in her reasoning. The two fall into an idle chat about the goings-on of the night before, and soon there is a knocking at the door. Three sharp knocks, followed by two, then one. Giles gets up, to answer the door, whispering "Showtime" as he does so.

Opening the door and stepping to the side to allow them in, Sam sees the woman on the couch immediately and turned to Giles. "This is the witch?"

Giles frowns at his friend. "This is Alexandra. While yes, she is the one with whom you wish to speak I'll thank you to be more polite to my guests."

Sam looks back around to Alex and offers an apologetic smile. "I do apologize. It has been a very busy couple of days. My name is Sam Zabuto, and this is my associate, Kendra."

He then sits down upon the couch, Kendra perching next to him as Giles disappears briefly into the kitchen to fetch more cups and start more water boiling.

"Giles has said much about you, in a very general kind of way. What brings you to the Hellmouth?"

Alex makes it a point to look faintly bemused. "I live in Sunnydale. Why would I not be here?"

Zabuto nods. "I meant to inquire about the work you do, I apologize for the misunderstanding."

Nodding as she picks up her tea, Alex blows on it once to cool it and takes a sip. She never appreciated tea much before, but damn if post-Halloween Alex wasn't a fan of some of Giles' standards that he brought out for company.

"I quite understand. No need to apologize."

She stops and takes a sip, smiling slightly behind her cup. It's a gamble, but the best way to get out of this without giving up much is to put him on the defensive and she is betting that a kill'em with kindness approach can work here.

Zabuto lets things sit for a minute as they all have a drink, then asks a bit more forcefully. "So what business do you conduct on the Hellmouth?"

Alex turns her head to the side, then looks over to Giles.

"Giles, I was under the impression that this was to be a casual meeting between friends and like-minded folk. If it is going to degenerate into an interrogation led by a man that started things by trying to pass his attack dog off as a kitten in a teacup, I think I am going to have to call it a night and head home."

Giles nods, seeming to agree with her assessment.

"I am sorry. I truly believed that he would be capable of common courtesy. Apparently, I was wrong. I will see if the council would be willing to send someone else to 'feel you out' as it were."

Zabuto looks thoroughly confused at this point.

"Giles, you know that I cannot let her leave. I am sorry if she believes me rude, I genuinely was trying to be as polite as possible, but I need the answers to these questions or things will go badly for you."

Giles offers his friend an apologetic look. "Then I guess you will be taking them back my resignation. From your first words upon walking in the door you were boorish and rude. Then you attempted subtle intimidation, trusting that the Slayer by your side would save your hide if she became uncooperative. But this is not how you treat allies."

Sam looks at Kendra and goes to make a gesture. Alex interrupts him.

"Please don't."

Sam looks at her.

"Don't what?"

Alex looks at the man as you would a small child that you caught scribbling on the walls in crayon. She sighs.

"I know what the Watcher's Council is. I know what a Slayer is. I know exactly how dangerous they are. If you push me any further, I'll have to kill her to deal with her, she is far too deadly to treat any other way. But as she kills vampires and evil demons, an activity that I am entirely in favor of, I'd rather not have to do that. So, please don't."

Sam looks confused, yet as though he believes he has seen a path through the mire.

"If you know all these things then you will answer my questions, yes?"

With a sigh that seems to project onto others how tedious she finds all of this, she answers after a sip of tea.

"If you were to ask a question that was actually any of your business, I might consider answering it. As I am a human, non-evil, non-demonic entity, my business is mine alone. If you were to ask something about the goings-on here at the Hellmouth, which is your area, I'll see what I can do. But as you have no local authority over my person, badgering me about how I make my money isn't going to get you anywhere."

Sam is looking mad at this point.

"Fine, we'll play it your way. Eyghon. You banished him. The council wants to know how. Surely you can agree that a method to dispose of a demon that preys on mankind is something we would have a right to look into."

Alex looks him in the eyes. "The demon is not disposed of. He is merely banished back to wherever he came from. I've no doubt that some thrill-seeking idiot will summon him up again." She looks somewhat apologetically at Rupert. "Sorry, but it must be said that it wasn't the brightest thing to do."

She sets her teacup back down. "In answer to your question, I would love to show you. But I cannot. Not will not, can not. The magics I use are particular to me and will work for no other. Though if the council has problems that they think I can help with, I would be willing to assist for a modest price, assuming it doesn't take me too far from home."

Sam is looking intrigued. Part of what he is here for is to secure this person's cooperation.

"What is your price, and how far is too far?"

Alex smiles. Sam may not know it, but she's already won. That was the first rule of being a rogue the old bastard ever told her. 'Ninety percent of surviving the negotiating table is getting the fool to stop posturing and dicker with ya. Once you've got that, it's all but in the bag.'

"Oh, the price varies, wouldn't it? But to give you an idea I would say that a situation similar to the Eyghon one would be no more than a few hundred dollars. He was already caught, after all. The Slayer had already done the heavy lifting. I merely walked into the room and cast a spell. Hardly room for combat pay in such a scenario, and frankly, I would likely turn down any offer of employment that was much more dangerous than that. I can be dangerous if I must. But it's a lousy way to live your life. As for how far, I don't see myself being willing to leave the immediate vicinity of Sunnydale for the foreseeable future. Not for the Council, anyway. First impressions mean something, and yours was not the best."

Sam glances at Giles. "What about his?"

Alex laughs. "I met him outside of his duties towards your little gentlemen's club first. Also, he was the one who offered to resign a post he loves and is dedicated to so I wouldn't have to deal with this... Tedious attempt to pry into my personal life. My impression of him is quite good. My impression of the council, however, was not helped by this irritation."

What follows is a short question and answer session during which Alex truthfully talked about some of the demons that she had confronted since she got into town on Halloween, though she makes it a point to not mention when she arrived and she skips the known assassins, deciding that little good could come of being connected to that. Shortly after, she leaves. Normally she would be loathe to walk home in the dark, but she is met by Buffy only a few blocks away and the two make the journey in companionable silence after a hug and a few tears from Buffy.

Neither even noticed the following vampire that Drop Waddle put to the ground with a bolt sticking out of his skull, twitching.

>>>>

Author's Note:
Angel had to go for a different bag of reasons than Oz, but no less important ones. The big one with him is that by merely existing he turns the whole damn thing into this angsty soap opera for the first three seasons and an angsty horrific soap opera for half of one of them. Between that, all the prophecies tied to him, and Buffy's neurotic tendencies where he is involved, moving forward with anything new that wasn't actually just a slight retread of canon is a pain in the ass. So, he's gotta go.

And Drusilla? Gonna be honest here. I actually like Drusilla. She is a cool character. But she is like a mind-deadening drug for Spike, he is way cooler when he is not on the Drusilla.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day, folks!

 

[Datatroll]

Chapter 13
Back in the Groove.

>>>>
It's been almost three weeks since Angel died. Rumor has it that Spike is still in town somewhere, but for as good as he is staying out of sight he may as well have crawled into his own ass and zipped it shut, Alex muses with more than a little annoyance. Zabuto and Kendra stayed one additional day, then took off. Apparently, there was something happening in Jamaica, or Hawaii, or Monaco, or some other resort destination that wasn't currently adorned with a freaking Hellmouth.

Must be nice to be part of team 'Not stuck on the Hellmouth.'

In the end, though, it's just as well they took off. Buffy needed Sam gone so she could get some perspective. As soon as he was on the plane she went on a ten-day rampage through the town trying to find Spike, since he was the only one left that they could punish for the way Angel had been gutted and wrecked like he was.

Well, she didn't find Spike, but she has killed and skinned a dozen demons that don't do the oven cleaner thing, so Alex has had plenty to experiment with. Tanning the hides is a pain in the ass, but the result is crazy tough and oddly, really colorful. Like oil in a puddle, they have a kind of rainbow shimmer to them.

The only truly good news is that some high muckity-muck in the Watcher's Council contacted Giles to say that the hit on Buffy had been called off. Apparently whoever had called in the hit was slow in making their second payment.

Alex finished Buffy's stuff a while ago but hasn't brought her over for the delivery yet as she wanted to sneak something in for herself before starting on the next Buffy or group-related project.

Call it creator's prerogative. But that finished last night, so Buffy and Willow will be coming with her after school to take a look.

Ah yes. Willow. Willow has decided that they are a 'thing.' Like everything emotionally based with Willow it took her a long time to get there, but once she had made the decision she has been utterly relentless in pursuit of this goal. While the hand-holding and occasional smooches have been pleasant. More than pleasant, really, the whole thing still feels really off to Alex. Not 'bad' off, just 'unbelievably discombobulating' off. She tried to say something to Jenny about it since she signed up as guardian and all, and her only comment was feeling like that is normal and mean that whatever Willow is doing to entice her, it's working.

Of course, she was planning a date to go to a technology symposium in LA with Giles of all people at the time, so what the hell does she know about love?

The walk to the house is pleasant enough, and getting Buffy kitted out in her gear is always fun. Every time Buffy gets new toys her eyes light up like it's an extra special Christmas-themed after-school special and she's the star.

"Okay, so what am I wearing again?"

Buffy's inquiry follows her having laced on the custom boots and belt that have been finished.

Alex hands her a sheet of paper with a couple of specifics on it and then starts explaining.

"The boots are pretty simple. Run faster, jump higher and farther. When you get a chance, go nuts with 'em so you get a feel for what they do. The belt is kind of a unique mishmash. Had to cannibalize ideas from a couple of other things to make it happen. The front small pockets on either side will hold ten stakes each, of a specific size. If you need more, let me know. It's nothing to spin them off. You load each side like you would a magazine on a gun. Spring loaded-like. Each time you pull one out, a new one snaps into place until you're out. Refilling is just the reverse, shove one over a bit and slide the new one in."

She motions Buffy to turn around, and then points. "The two pockets on the back are intended to hold potion vials. Eventually, you'll have a variety. They will each hold ten vials of potion, holy water, oils, whatever. Pretty good-sized ones too, and it'll put whatever is in the thing into a kinda stasis. So you could say, fill one with hot soup if you wanted and chug it on patrol or something. The important thing is that when you reach back there, the one you grab will be the one you were looking for unless it isn't in there, in which case the pouch won't open without the password. Which you can set anytime with a drop of blood on the buckle and then saying a word you want to use. Right now each one has two fairly powerful healing potions. Drink them, or force somebody else to drink them, and they will heal the person that drank 'em. Interestingly, the spells they are based on will actually hurt undead back on Eberron, so if you ever get a safe opportunity to force some leech to chug one, it might be good to know for later."

Alex grins a rather feral showing of teeth. She thought she hated vampires before but seeing them destroy the lives of five kids and probably wreck the sanity of seven more has brought her loathing to all-new levels.

"But anyway, that is it for the suit for now. What did you decide on for a weapon?"

Buffy jumps in place a few times, obviously liking the ease at which she can get some extra height.

"Giles has all kinds of ideas for exotic whatever but honestly I think I just want a sword. Maybe a little on the short side. The important thing is that I need it built to take a beating, I'll be using it to try to kill things that have skin like tank armor sometimes. It might do some time as a crowbar, or a doorstop or beating down a door to save somebody on the other side, whatever. The big thing for me is that I need to know, whatever I do to it, it isn't going to break on me. If you can do that, anything else is just gravy."

Alex gives her a nod, considering. "I'll come up with a few un-enchanted prototypes for you to look at in a few days. Once we have an idea on a style that I think can be built to do the job and that you approve of, I'll get to work on the actual piece."

During all this time, Willow has been staring intently at a corner of the garage/shop. Trying to decide if what she is seeing could really be what it appears to be.

"Alex, is that what I think it is?"

She is pointing at what appears to be an audio cassette tape half-hidden behind a shelf and against the wall. That is if cassette tapes were made of metal and stood two and a half feet tall. It is the strange purple symbol that has been etched and stained onto the side of it that is consuming her attention as a smile threatens and the laugh begins to well up.

Alex can't help it. The giggles spill forth from her in a torrent.

"Come on out, Ravage. You've been spotted."

With that the cassette... Unfolds. A head, four legs, and a tail emerge. The whole thing retains a coloration of gray, black, and blued steel. It loses some of the boxy feel of its construction as joints become obvious in the neck, spine, legs, and tail. Once it has the shape of a slightly undersized mechanical cougar, it pads over to Alex on feet that have been upgraded with rubberized soles and sits.

"Buffy, Willow, this is Ravage. As soon as I realized I could actually have a Decepticon of my very own I just had to do it. He can patrol right with you, Buff. In the dark, he'll pretty much look like a weird kinda blocky dog. I can direct him just like the others. Unlike the others though, Ravage here can take a hit or two if needed. He probably isn't as tough as you are after your gear and stuff, but he should be close to it and it'll be a bit better by tonight. The plan is to use those screw holes in his sides to outfit him with basically patches of riveted leather armor to absorb damage when he does get nailed. He's of the type "Iron Defender" homunculus, they are pretty much intended as a bodyguard and when you are out, it is your body he'll be guarding. Also, he's probably faster than you. I worked out how to add an enchantment to his feet that is supposed to go on horseshoes. He was fast before, but now he could probably outrun a car anywhere but the freeway. I have a couple of freebies I can put on these guys when I am building them, unfortunately, one of them always has to be the extended link so I can direct them from here. The other one for this guy though is 'Undead Bane' on his jaws. He might not be as impressive against other random demons, though hopefully, he can still be useful. But he should be pretty effective against the leech population."

Buffy is grinning wide, and Willow responds with a smile of her own and a few words.

"Since undead is like ninety percent of what we find around here..."

Buffy continues the thought.

"Then that should do just fine. Hey, can I get the undead hatey thing on my sword?"

Alex nods. "Yeah, though I might not to be honest. Unless they are crazy old you don't generally seem to have much trouble against vampires. I was considering going with a couple of more universally useful damage enhancements. Fire and electricity, maybe. Or even just "Evil Outsider" since that should include like ninety-nine percent of everything that isn't a vamp, and might even include these vamps, if the story Giles loves so much holds water and vamps are really just an evil outsider-esque demon possessing a corpse."

Buffy looks interested. "Ooh, can I get the lightning? That sounds so cool!"

Alex gives Ravage a pat on the head. "Sure, though before I go crazy with it I am going to run it by Giles. There might be a given element that does better than others or a given thingie that is tough as hell and the extra oomph would be really nice against if we built to take advantage of a weakness. Oh, before I forget. Wills, welcome to the club."

With that, she hands the redhead one of the reworked earpieces.

"Controls are simple. Top button is on and off, bottom button mutes the mic. It's designed to only transmit sound from in front of your face in a very narrow cone, so if you want us to be able to listen in on something, you have to be looking directly at it. No batteries or anything, it all runs on magic and it'll run pretty much indefinitely. Oh, and no, there is no way to call just one of us or the other. It's an open channel. It's just the three of us until I get the time to get some built for Giles and Jenny, but even still. No secrets unless you have it shut off or muted."

"What's the range?" Is Willows only question after the sales pitch.

Alex smiles. "Actually pretty proud of that one. Normally it's a mile. But I modified these to use the Hellmouth energies as a secondary carrier wave. So as long as you are within a mile of Sunnydale and the person you're talking to is as well, it should work fine regardless of obstacles or terrain."

Buffy looks a little concerned. "Hellmouth energies? I'm not so sure I like Hellmouth energies in my brain."

Alex just shrugs. "Theoretically the kinda things your thinking shouldn't actually be possible, but knowing that weird crap happens here I did some tests and took some precautions. First, the Hellmouth energies that read to me as a really powerful unholy land are already in you anyway. You can't live here and not absorb them. But they aren't lethal of themselves, though they do seem to be particularly chaos aligned. Some evil, but honestly mostly just chaos. Still though, rather than risk it I spent two days working out the stupid button system with Jenny rather than have the thing tap into your brain for function. The only energy you'll get from it is sound waves."

The two girls, both looking rather relieved, find their gaze is drawn to Ravage. The strange mechanical big cat has stood up and then leaped lightly onto the central worktable. Red and Green have flown over with bits of pre-worked leather and a bag of screws and washers. As the pieces begin to get put into place, the demonic leather gives the construct an otherworldly appearance as the shop lights shimmer off of the unusual properties in the covering. Once they are done, Ravage shifts back into and out of his 'shelve-able' form a few times, to verify everything still works right, and then pads over to Buffy, placing itself between her and the doors. Buffy gives a soft giggle and pats it on the head.

"I guess he's already on the job."

Alex nods to the armored blonde.

"Yup. I plan to mostly keep him at home, but with his speed, he can be anywhere in Sunnydale within a few minutes. So when you are heading out for patrol, like now, let me know and I'll send him over."

Alex turns to Willow. "You're welcome to use the computer we bought for the business if you want to listen in and help with directions or pulling up schematics, listening to the police radio, that kind of thing. It's in my room though, so you'd have to put up with me lazing about. When she is on patrol I spend so much time looking through eyes that are not mine it is just way easier to deal with if I am laying down."

Buffy gives Willow a mock glare.

"And no distracting my backup with any feminine wiles!"

Willow gives a smirk.

"I make no promises, sometimes the wiles are just going to have their way with me."

Alex looks a bit alarmed. "As long as your wileys' stop getting their way at you, and it isn't me they wiley-ing, we'll be okay. Gotta take a firm stand with them wiles."

Buffy shakes her head in mock horror as she walks toward the door.

"Be careful you two. I hear that wiles are known to bag multiple victims a night. I wouldn't want you two to become a statistic."

>>>>

>>One hour later.
"Okay guys, I get that you are thrilled to have some time alone but could you please mute your mics? I keep worrying one of you will forget to breathe or something. It's distracting me."

>>>>

Author's note.
They're just kissing. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Short chapter, but I just needed something to transition a few changes before we continued. On the other hand, that should be the last of the big time skips for a while.

Also, don't own Transformers. I want to say that Hasbro still owns the Gen 1 stuff, which is where this Ravage came from. Since the live-action movies though, who knows anymore. As an aside, if you are young enough to have never been exposed to the original series, be advised that while it is a lot better than most shows that were designed to sell toys, it still shows its roots from time to time. I will say that the original animated movie was one of the funnest things I ever saw back when it came out on video.

Bear in mind though, I was maybe 12 at the time. How well it would hold up to the older, wiser, and infinitely more jaded person I am now I have no idea.

 

[Datatroll]

Chapter 14
Fall Down Go Sizzle?

>>>>

It was the loud voices that woke her up.

More accurately, it was Red, Green, and Yellow who woke her up when the voices started to disturb them in the garage.

One eye opens, glances at the clock. Eight o'clock on a Saturday? Disruptive noises that are not apocalypse-related are not allowed this early on a Saturday. Disruptive noises related to an apocalypse are only allowed because it might make them easier to find, thus allowing everyone to go back to bed sooner once it had been dealt with.

Alex at this point realizes two things. One, she's in her underwear and under her silk sheets. Two, Willow is also in her underwear and under her silk sheets. In the late hours of the evening before, she had offered to have Willow stay, had made up the couch with a sheet, blanket, and pillow. Then she had come to bed.

Apparently, not to be alone.

Gently moving Willow's hand from where it rests draped over her from behind, Alex then gets up and throws on some clothes. Thanks to a new setting on the clothes cleaner she can skip a shower today. Not a good idea to do all the time, because for obvious reasons the device does not count non-living bits of people as a thing it can clean up. So, dead skin and such can build up. But for shutting up a loud guest, it's good enough.

Also, what is left of Xander's badly abused masculinity desperately wants to know why in the fuck exactly she cares about dead skin build-up.

She even got it to untangle, straighten, clean, and style hair in seconds. Granted, the only styles it can do right now is a french braid or pigtails. But Alex has decided to call it a win anyway.

Surprisingly, even though she isn't exactly a huge fan of being a girl, even her most manly of manly thoughts about the tool is deeply appreciative of the hair feature. The less time spent screwing with hair, the better.

Opening the door to her room quietly, she can hear the argument clearly as she walks down the hall. The first words she can hear come from Jenny. Boy howdy, does she sound pissed off.

"No, Uncle. I do not care that the Elders have decided my task ended too quickly. They made the deal. It is not my job to gainsay their skills at making a deal. Nor is it within their remit to go back on a deal just because it didn't work out the way they wanted it to. The deal was six years or until the task ended, whichever was shorter, as long as it was not ended by my hands. It was a watcher that killed the slime, and it wasn't even a watcher I know! There is no way I could have stopped it even if I wanted to. There were two slayers in town, for crying out loud, how was I supposed to guarantee to keep a vampire alive and cursed with two slayers in town?! The Elders ask too much of one person, and this time it cost them their precious vengeance. Deal with it."

There is a moment's pause, and Alex opens the door to the garage so that Ravage can come in. DW and Skite are still on guard duty over at the Summers' residence. Then she hears a man's voice.

"Janna, you misunderstand. You are not being reassigned to another task to prove yourself Kalderash. You are being asked to come home, to use your skills to educate our children, find a husband. The Elders are disappointed that the devil Angelus has escaped his payment in pain to us, but they understand there is little you could have done to stop events. Now you get to come home."

Jenny is sounding livid at this point as if biting each word out from behind clenched teeth.

"That is not what you said when you arrived. You said I have to come home. Now you are saying I get to. What I need to know is what the clan will do when I say no. I have responsibilities here. Things I need to do that I will not abandon."

There is another silence. This one is full of tension.

"Janna. You know what it means to go against the Elders like this. Leaving the clan when it needs help, well, I will do what I can. What little that might be. But in the end, you know what will happen. You'll be banished. You will never know the smiles of your family, see your nieces and nephews. It will all be lost to you, like puffs of smoke long after the fire has burned down."

Alex pipes up from the doorway, with Ravage just out of sight in the hallway.

"What are the clan's needs? I mean, Jenny's good but you can probably just hire teachers for less than what she makes."

Jenny looks over to Alex and throws her hands up, bringing her right back down to smack the dour-looking man on the shoulder.

"And now you disrupt my home!? Damn you Enyos! Alex, this is my Uncle Enyos. Uncle Enyos, this is Alex."

Enyos looks perplexed. "Janna, the clan doesn't care if you have a girlfriend. At some point, we would like you to produce a child for the clan. But where you dally until then is your own choice. Where you dally after is up to your husband, of course. Choose wisely, and you could keep your friend forever. Isn't she a little young though?"

Jenny screams in impotent rage.

"She isn't my girlfriend, I adopted her when her parents became victims of the Hellmouth, and yes Enyos, while she is part of the reason I cannot go with you she is not all of it."

Enyos freezes. His eyes narrow. He turns to look at Alex, as one would consider the pros and cons of a side of beef. Having apparently found something of which he approves, he turns back to Janna with a ghost of a smile, though it vanishes behind anger of his own.

"I don't know which part of this should enrage me more, young Janna. The fact that you adopted a youth into the clan without consulting anyone. The fact that you did so out of wedlock, which is our custom. The fact that even after doing it you told no one, which implies that you knew we would disapprove of you randomly adopting waifs off the Hellmouth. Or the most damning bit of all, that after bringing a new youth into the fold you decided to continue raising her on the accursed Hellmouth at all. If she is truly worth all the effort to defy your clan, she should certainly be worth keeping alive I would think."

Alex raises her hand.

"Yeah, mister busybody? Not going anywhere. So wherever you are getting this thought? You need to put it back where you found it before I shove it somewhere and tack it down good with something sharp."

Enyos smiles. "She does have a fire in her. I think I can see why you chose as you did. But Janna, this makes it even more imperative that you come home. Even if only to explain yourself. If you don't, the elders will either disavow this child, which granted might not bother you as you were ready to leave yourself. Or they will affirm the child. At which point she will be taken back to our home, if she is accepted they would never allow one of our children to dwell in a place like this."

Jenny is turning red and is obviously about to rip into her uncle something fierce when there is a sound of mechanical growling. A rolling sound, like a starter in a car being run endlessly and was somehow being force-fed swords while it was doing it. The two turn to stare at Alex, who is standing there defiantly next to Ravage. The creature is only three feet tall. But the sheer wrongness of the metal beast and the sounds it makes amplify its presence a thousandfold.

"Ravage, if Enyos mentions me being taken against my will again like it's a good thing, I would be deeply appreciative if you would tear his face off."

Ravage barks, the sound reminiscent of a muted shotgun blast, then he steps forward two paces, staring again at Enyos and the growling resumes.

Enyos looks at Jenny in obvious worry and curiosity. What he finds in the look the incensed young woman is giving him makes the man do the last thing that either Jenny or Alex had believed would happen.

He laughs. He laughs like the devil came to claim him and got stuck in traffic halfway there.

"Suddenly your reticence becomes clear. You have found a 'magie producatur.' A very powerful one, for such a young woman. Sixteen? Maybe seventeen? This makes rumors we have heard of you being a go-between for a magic items dealer make a lot more sense. I take it you were planning to bring her to us at some point?"

Jenny is all but at the end of her rope.

"No! I was going to take her with me to meet my family this summer, sure. But any desire to stay there or not would come from her and would be honored. Anyway, I doubt it is anything we need to worry about now, after your performance I probably couldn't get her to a family reunion if I paid her. Now, will you please leave!?"

Enyos, still smiling, tips his old, beaten, fedora-like hat to each of them in turn. Looking at Jenny, he offers a few parting words.

"With this bit of information, I can stall the Elders until the summer solstice. Janna, please. Whatever your plans for the future, find your way home, even just for a visit, by then. Bring her if you can. There are things they would like to discuss with you, whatever you decide."

Jenny looks uncertain.

"They won't just try to keep us against our will?"

Enyos shakes his head as he steps outside the door.

"In the end, you know they won't, and your friend here, I am guessing that she will be seventeen by then if she isn't already. An adult in the eyes of the clan. But know too, that while they cannot make you do as they ask, they can make the consequences if you don't bad enough that you will probably do it anyway."

Enyos gives a slight shrug and a half-smile. "But sadly, you'll get the worst of those regardless if you do not show up. So please do."

Then the old man walks out, still chuckling. Jenny slams the door behind him and picks up a pillow from the couch, screaming into it.

Alex hears a voice behind her, it startled her for a moment until she recognizes Willow. "Jenny, your uncle is a serious poop-head."

Jenny looks up. "Yes. Yes, I know. How much did you two overhear?"

Willow looks at her a bit defiantly. "Enough to know that you were here for something involving Angel and you never told us. And that your name is Janna." She looks at Alex. "Think you know a person..."

Jenny sighs and then sits down, motioning them to do the same. "You had heard, I assume, that Angel had his soul because a gypsy clan cursed him with it?"

The two nod and their faces both brighten, though Willow is also wearing a scowl.

Jenny nods. "My clan. Long before I was born, so you can stop glaring at me, Willow. I didn't do it. More to the point if I had been there I would have been against doing it. We should have just killed the vampire. Damning the soul of Liam like that in our anger and arrogance was a mistake. When I left home to go to college, they offered to pay my way in exchange for a single task not to extend beyond six years when I was done. I had an idea what it might entail, there are a few little projects still lingering like this one did, from the old days. But it was still a good deal and my clan needed me, so I accepted. My job was to see to it that he kept his soul. That nothing broke the curse or drug it back out of him." She looks at Willow. "Don't think of it as cursing the man on my part, think of it as protecting the soul, because that is what it was, at least in theory."

She sighs and leans back in the chair.

"But I failed, and he died after I had been on the job only a year. Now the Elders are likely to try to guilt me into either taking on a second chore for the balance of my time or coming home to the Romany to become a broodmare for a new batch of Kalderash. We are fewer now than we might wish. Being in the vengeance business against the likes of Angelus is hard on a clan."

Alex thinks for a bit. "Do you want to go back? I mean, I heard what you were saying, but if you really do wanna go back, you don't have to stay for my sake. I'll be alright."

Jenny shakes her head. "No, I wouldn't abandon you anyway. But even if you weren't here, you are only one of many reasons for staying. Giles is important to me, and honestly what you said a while ago made an impression."

Alex looks confused. "What did I say?"

Jenny offers a soft smile. "I had said that it was good of you to continue helping Buffy in spite of the differences you were having at the time. You said that your own feelings didn't matter. That as long as she fought the evil, that you would be there doing whatever you could to help. That is the way my clan wants me to think about them, but I just can't get behind a group that uses vengeance as a way of life. I think though, that I could get that way to a group that dedicated itself to fighting evil. Not like the Watchers, most of them seem more interested in watching young women die and then writing about it than getting their hands dirty. But like Buffy, and you two. And Giles, when he isn't trying to defend the Watchers. You do real good in the world, and when I am working with you I can be a part of that. It's an adrenaline rush, of course. But more than that it feels good to know that people that might have died are going to live because of what we do."

She shrugs. "The clan will never understand that. They view anybody who would live on a Hellmouth without, well, without a reason the clan considers worthwhile, as basically too stupid to be worth saving. Another thing I don't agree with."

Willow is looking at Jenny with something of a confused and saddened expression by this point. "Yeah, I hate to say it Jenny, but your family is a bunch of... Really big jerks. The biggest."

Alex nods. "Yeah, gonna go with Willow on this one. But look, they can't take you unless you let them, right? And for that matter, you're family to me no matter what happens. If you need me to visit your family, I'll do it. Where are they, anyway?"

Jenny smiles. "Mostly central Europe, but the Elders will likely be in Italy somewhere for the solstice."

Alex's smile falters a bit.

"Italy? You mean the one that's shaped like the world's least comfortable boot?

>>>>

>>Meanwhile at the Summers residence.
"Buffy, I need you to be home this evening by six. Ted said he wanted to come over and cook dinner for us."

Buffy looks at her a little confused.

"You mean that guy that installed the new computers at the gallery? That Ted? Why does he even know where we live?"

Joyce gets a smile that splashes across her lips and then she twirls a bit of her hair.

"Well, we got to talking afterward and we are both lonely, what with my being divorced and him being a widower. We aren't for sure of anything, but we thought we might try dating for a bit. You know, see how it worked out. But I need you to meet him. So you need to be here. Go ahead and invite Alex and Willow, the three of you can go sneak out to the Bronze once you are done eating. Fair enough? I'll even give you thirty bucks to spend while you're out."

Buffy grins. "Wow, Mom. Bribery? This guy must have you wrapped around his little finger."

Joyce laughs. "He is extremely old-fashioned. He opens the doors, pulls out chairs, he pampers me constantly. If I hadn't met him myself, I'd say he's too good to be true."

>>>>

>> That evening at the Summers residence.
"Alex, Willow! Thanks for coming! This is Ted. Willow, you and he should have quite a bit in common, Ted works with computers."

Alex and Willow both look at Joyce, who is speaking and standing next to "Ted" who is smiling with his arm around her. Buffy is sitting in the living room with a scowl on her face. The two sit down and Buffy looks up at them as Joyce and Ted move back into the kitchen. Buffy's voice is pitched low enough to not carry that far.

"Welcome to the freak show." Alex looks towards the kitchen. Willow leans closer to her friend and speaks cautiously.

"Well, your mom seems pretty happy. Are you sure there is a problem?" Buffy nods, fiercely.

"Mom has been behaving like a loon since an hour after he got here. Dawn tried to go to a friend's house because things got a little uncomfy when mom and Ted were, you know, touchy and stuff? Nothing bad, really, but hard on Dawn. She still has hopes for mom and dad. Ted sent her to her room until dinner for asking, and mom just rolled with it. Treated it like it was all coolsville that he was passing out punishments like Halloween candy. He also gives me the wiggins a bit. Not like a vampire, but there is definitely something off about the guy."

The three think for a minute. Alex is the first to say something.

"He's cooking, right? So how about I go wreck the meal, see how he takes it. Maybe we can all just leave. Take Dawn and grab a bite while he cries over his "Best laid plans" and strokes the mouse in his pocket." She turns to Willow. "You can stop looking shocked, I know, I read a book. Amazing."

Willow grins. "That one was assigned, I know you read it. I was wondering how you were going to wreck the meal."

Alex grins. "With this."

With that Alex pulls out a short stick from her pocket, one of a few based on the sounds. It is about the same size as a chopstick, with a red look to the wood and a metal cap on either end.

Buffy raises an eyebrow. "What's that?"

Alex whispers to the two of them while keeping an eye on the kitchen.

"Remember the trouble at school, with the fake cop with guns? Well, I tried to think about ways to deal with that using what I had available in my old-timey spell library. This was the best I could come up with. It's a reusable wand of the spell "Heat Metal." Back in olden times, it would make a sword too hot to hold, even through a padded metal gauntlet. What do you suppose it would do to a gun?"

Willow thinks about it for a second, then grins. "It would make all the bullets go boom."

Alex nods. "That's the hope. But if I nail the jerk with it while he's cooking it should turn whatever he is making into charcoal and make the pan too hot for him to try to salvage it."

Alex makes a final look at Buffy. "Are we go for this plan?"

Buffy nods, a glint in her eye. "The guy was mean to Dawn and has Mom Hypnotized or something. The least we can do is ruin his dinner plan."

Alex gets up to where he can see Ted in the kitchen, waits until he has his hand on the pan, and waves the wand.

Ted immediately goes stiff and falls to the floor with smoke pouring off his body. Flesh melting, limbs shuddering.

Alex is screaming louder than Joyce, this was not supposed to happen.

But then something happens that makes them stop screaming and get highly curious instead. As the spell stops and the smoke stops pouring off the corpse, through the melted flesh and burned clothes, they can all see metal.

Buffy is the first to respond to this revelation, by running over and kicking the head of the man once, Causing it to snap off and bounce around the room like a demented soccer ball.

Joyce looks like she is getting ready to scream again until Buffy turns to her.

"Mom, please calm down. We have a lot to talk about that I think you need to know if you were careless enough to invite some weird robot into the house. Hey, Alex! Call Giles and get him over here, will you? Willow, check that thing out, see what you can find out. We need to make sure there aren't any more."

She sighs, long and loud. "It's gonna be a long night."

>>>>

Authors note:
I was on the fence for a while on telling Joyce. I was even silly enough to brag to a reviewer (when this was originally posted) that I had made myself extra time to decide having gotten rid of Angel.

Then I realized that if I was actually going to, Ted was the best chance I was ever going to get to make it not seem unbelievably contrived. So... Yeah. Reasons!

The book Alex is referencing, on the off chance you didn't have to read it in school or it was one of the old classics that recently got taken off the public school reading lists due to fucking Politically Correct Nazis, is "Of Mice and Men." Which obviously, I don't own. Think "Old Yeller" and replace the dog with a seven-foot powerhouse with the brain of a five-year-old, and the boy with a small squirrely man that is trying to keep them both fed and on the right side of the law.

If you don't know enough about Old Yeller to get a feel for how this ends, then you have failed. Go read some books that weren't written by a hack like me.