Sergeant Redcoat: "Princess Cadence, Captain Equestria, allow to say once again that this is an honor."
Captain Equestria: "At ease, sergeant. As the highest-ranking survivor of the Crystal Army following Sombra's purge, it only makes sense that you'd be the pony to help us update the Empire's defenses."
Cadance: "And we can hardly expect you to do that without getting you up to speed."
Sergeant Redcoat: "Right! I remember that Sombra took over in the middle of a war with Tambelon, while everyone who could have stopped him was busy fighting Grogar. I assume we won."
Captain Equestria: "Yes. And the time after that, too. Grogar just won't stay down, regrettably."
Sergeant Redcoat: "Sounds like him. Still, in the short term, I suppose I'm more concerned about those Squirk cults around Innshoof…"
Captain Equestria: "Oh, don't worry about that. They all died down after Squirk was imprisoned in Tartarus."
Sergeant Redcoat: "Oh. Good to hear. Well, there's the matter of draconic raids…"
Captain Equestria: "None to speak of in the past two centuries - what God-Queen Celestia did to Tiamat sent a strong message. The closest thing to a raid we've had in living memory was a young dragon going through hyper-accelerated puberty followed by a psychotic rampage within our borders, and that ended with zero casualties."
Sergeant Redcoat: "
Huh. OK, good. In that case, the next greatest concern should be dark wizards…"
Captain Equestria: "Four of those in the past two years. Sombra, Darth Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, Magic Eight-Ball…"
Sergeant Redcoat: "Wait,
what?! The place used to be
crawling with these guys! One per month was considered a
quiet year!"
Sergeant Redcoat: "Ahem. Anyway… There were those gigantic transforming anthropomorphic metal creatures…"
Captain Equestria: "Peace treaty with the surviving faction."
Sergeant Redcoat: "The sociopathic bunnycat hive mind…"
Captain Equestria: "Have declared the entire planet a 'do not go' zone."
Captain Equestria: "The Simurgh…"
Captain Equestria: "Stuck in a time-loop."
Sergeant Redcoat: "The winged stone entities that moved when no-one was looking…"
Captain Equestria: "Covered in burning tar. Then the God-Queen looked away."
Sergeant Redcoat: "...OK, seriously,
what happened while we were gone?! Did you guys exterminate each and every threat to ponykind while we weren't looking?!"
Captain Equestria: "Well… There's still the Cutie Mark Crusaders."
Sergeant Redcoat: *shivers* "Wait, they're
real? I thought they were a myth!"
PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Rainbow Dash: "All right. Since you've finished getting used to being a pony again, let's see about those flight lessons. Tame the air, Twi!"
Twilight Sparkle, PhD: *crashes into tree*
Fluttershy: "Huh. Usually, that tree eats
kites."
Applejack: "Keep workin' on it, yer majesty. Ah'm sure ya'll master it in no time."
Twilight: "Applejack,
please. Just call me Twilight."
Rarity: "Twilight, really. Modesty among royalty is
unbecoming."
Twilight: "My friends, you bow to no-one. Except her Momjesty, but that's another story."
Twilight: "And frankly, I
need you girls as a stabilizing influence, with everything
else in my life being a bit weird these days. Heck, I'd eagerly delay the flight lessons, if her Momjesty wasn't expecting me to play an aerial role for the Summer Sun Celebration."
Rainbow Dash: "Which means we're on a schedule! So get up there, and show gravity who's boss!"
Twilight: "All right…" *Twilight vs. Gravity: Round #who's counting?*
Gravity: "YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!" *swings the planet at Twilight's face*
Pinkie Pie: "Woo! You're almost as great a crasher as Rainbow Dash!"
Twilight: "Royal duties, thy name is pain."
Canterlot Castle:
Stained glass: *sings Twilight's glory*
Twilight: "Well, this is… definitely not awkward?"
Rarity: "Whyever would it
be awkward, darling? Why, completing the most advanced spell in the world, rewriting one's own destiny, achieving apotheosis, being crowned God-Queen, and earning the well-deserved adoration of the people is everypony's dream!"
Rainbow Dash: "...You're a pro at this whole 'jecting' business, aren't you?"
Pinkie Pie: "I'm a pro chocolate-eater! And cake-eater! And cookie-eater! And..." *drools*
Applejack: "Anyway, fer tha sake o'exposition, Ah'll be remindin' y'all that tha non-nobility among us pretty much got put in charge o'tha local Ponyville Summer Sun Celebration. Since, y'know, tha mayor canna fudge it without Twilight's bureaucracy powers."
Twilight:
Applejack: "Why tha long face?"
Twilight: "Equine."
Applejack: "Ya done did that joke already."
Twilight: "You know what I
haven't done yet? Ditch all my very best friends like this. We
met preparing for the Summer Sun Celebration. That we now won't be spending it together feels… unpleasantly symbolic. Like it's representing a new direction for the show that I don't care for one bit."
Applejack: "Well, Ah wouldn't worry too much, yer Twilightness. See
this stained glass mural? See what it represents? Us bein' united by tha freakin' Elements o'Harmony. When tha
Rainbow Deathray says ye're BFFs, there ain't no royal or divine duties that can take that away. Ain't it so, gals?"
Rarity: "Certainly."
Rainbow Dash: "You bet!"
Fluttershy: "M-hm."
Pinkie Pie: "...and MMMMs, and chocolate-dipped honey-glazed sugar balls, and…"
Fluttershy: "You should take that as a yes." [/actual dialog]
At the train station:
Pinkie Pie: "...and we'll give you so many details about the party, it'll be just as if you'd been there!"
Pinkie Pie: "...No, really. I'm trying to build some kinda virtual-reality helmet for that. It'd be a lot easier with unicorn magic, though."
Rainbow Dash: "And Derpy received 'Daring Do and the Muffin Idol' before we left, so she won't be visiting the library during your short absence."
Twilight: "Hopefully that's enough."
Train: *departs*
Twilight: "...I'm not sure if it's my emotional insecurities or my plot-sense talking here, but I already feel like I'm missing something."
Mailpony: "Letter for Doctor Twilight, PhD!"
Letter: "Dear Twilight - you aren't missing anything! Your friend, Pinkie Pie." [/actual letter]
Twilight: "Ah, Pinkie. That classic mix of awesome and kinda terrifying when you dwell on it."
Spike: "And check, and check, and check. Well, what do you know! Between the everflowing XP, the hordes of bureaucrats at your service, and your exceptionally competent number one assistant, we're actually ahead of schedule!"
Twilight: "I knew spending XP on 'Speed The Wheels' was a good investment."
Spike: "You know, with the free time that leaves us, we could actually stop by Ponyville before the celebration proper, if it makes you feel better…"
Twilight: "NO! We need every little bit of safety margin we can get! What if there's an unseelie invasion delaying us? What if that chrono-spell I used once has time-delayed consequences that will activate any moment now and accelerate time? What if it turns out that her Momjesty has a hidden task for me that she couldn't let anyone else know about, so she encrypted it in my current task list and now I need to decode it? What if…"
Spike: "...what if you have recently added several new muscles to your body, and haven't yet noticed what they do when you get too nervous?"
Twilight: "Yeah, what about tha-" *flies into ceiling*
Spike: "Wings: Slapstick for every occasion!"
Twilight: "Owch. But, my point still stands! This is my first official royal duty, barring black ops like the Sunset Shimmer mission! I can't disappoint her Momjesty on this!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Twilight, if Equestria received one copper bit every time you disappointed me, and one gold bit every time you were
worried about disappointing me, their respective scarcity ratio would by now be inversed."
Twilight and Spike: *Kneel! Kneel before God!*
God-Queen Celestia: "You, my friends, bow to no-one. Unless you really want to, but seriously, no need."
Twilight: "Eh-heh. Sorry about that."
God-Queen Celestia: "Quite all right, Twilight. You're effectively immortal, and I trust you'll learn to think of me as an equal in time."
God-Queen Celestia: "In the meanwhile, I must say that it's wonderful to actually be looking
forward to the Summer Sun Celebration this time around."
Twilight: "Beg your pardon?"
God-Queen Celestia: "To Equestria at large, the SSC is a celebration of the longest day of the summer, and the defeat of the dark goddess Night Mare Moon. To me, it's always been a reminder of my greatest failure - of how I had to nuke my own sister into space. A reminder of how I lost the only person I still had left from my pre-God-Queen days. Well, unless you count Mimic and her letters."
Twilight: "So… All those SSC celebrations… The reason you always fly upward with the Sun at your back
isn't just because it looks epic."
God-Queen Celestia: "That's just a bonus. Mostly, it's to keep my face shadowed long enough that I can boil and evaporate the tears before anyone sees them."
Twilight: "Oh…"
God-Queen Celestia: "...But thanks to you, now I can treat it as a celebration of my reunion with my sister, so I no longer need to put on a brave face for everypony! Have I mentioned that I'm grateful for that lately? Because I'm grateful for that."
God-Queen Celestia: "Anyway… I imagine leaving your Ponyville friends behind today is difficult, even if it's necessary to ease the population into the political transition. Now, Twilight, I may no longer be your thesis adviser… but I hope you know that I will always remain a friend to whom you may go for advice. And, hopefully, vice-versa."
Twilight:
Mailpony: "Letter for Doctor Twilight, PhD!"
Twilight: "What the…?"
Meanwhile, back in Ponyville:
Pinkie Pie: "...and I sent her a line of confetti she can snort!"
Applejack: "Ye're the only pony who does that, Pinkie. And Ah thought ya were in rehab fer it."
Pinkie Pie: "It's true! It's true! I do have a problem!"
In Canterlot:
God-Queen Celestia: "Hm. Perhaps I ought to check on your friend's rehabilitation sometimes soon."
Twilight: "You and me both, your Momjesty."
Twilight: "Anyway: Spike, where were we?"
Spike: "About to punch the clock?"
Twilight: "Go over the checklist one more time, you say? Brilliant idea!"
Spike: "As usual, my genius gets ignored."
God-Queen Celestia: "I see the situation is in good hooves. Good night, you two."
God-Queen Celestia: *walks away*
God-Queen Celestia: *not asking for trouble*
God-Queen Celestia: *except, you now, by being God-Queen of this sick, deranged Death World*
Dark Vine of Death, which cannot talk: "DEICIDE TIME!"
Later:
Spike: "Finally. After many years of grueling work, terrible dangers, amazing adventures, and herculean effort, I have completed
The Final Checklist. Never again will I need to touch another one of these-"
Twilight: "Spike! Wake up from your nonsensical dreams and face the nonsensical reality!"
Spike: "Ugh. What time is it?"
Twilight: "That's… a distressingly good question."
Sky: *is divided into a day half and a night half*
Spike: "What the quartz?! What the heck
is that?! And how can half the sky be dark with the Sun right
there?! Shouldn't it be diffracting the blue wavelengths of the Sun's light?"
Twilight: "No, that's just how air and sunlight
used to work. Some popular old texts still refer to that, hence the common misconception. See, when reality was rebooted to make nature controllable, the atmosphere had to be reprogrammed so it wouldn't do anything on its own. That's why winds and clouds only happen when pegasi influence the process, for example. Same with light: The air particles only diffract sunlight when the Sun is closer than the Moon, because that's the program underlying our carefully-molded physical reality."
Spike: "Now I know!"
Twilight: "And knowing is half the battle! ...Now let's take care of the
sucky half."
Streets of Canterlot: "The world has gone mad(der)!" "I'm selling all my stock market shares! Again!" "Everypony panic in an orderly fashion!" "Let's ask the new God-Queen! She'll know what to do!"
Twilight: "Oh, manure. I'm surrounded by idiots!"
Guard Pony: "Doctor Twilight! You are requested at the palace!"
Twilight: "Whew. Saved by the bell!"
Castle of Canterlot:
Twilight: "All right. So, please, fill me in! Why are her Momjesty and her sister pulling these… rather unconventional astrobatics?"
Guard Pony: "Actually… they're not. God-Queen Celestia and God-Queen Luna are both MIA."
Twilight: "Pony what."
Spike: "We're doomed!" *faints*
Guard Pony: "So… What are your orders?"
Twilight: "
My orders?"
Guard Pony: "We're the Royal Guard! With Celestia and Luna missing, and Cadence far up North, that leaves
you as the highest-ranking on-site nobility, effectively making you the acting commander in chief!"
Twilight: "Pony what."
Spike: "We're doomed!" *faints*
Guard Pony: "So… Any advice? We're kinda hoping that PhD comes in handy somewhere in this."
Twilight: "..."
Twilight: *leader mode!*
Twilight: "Maintain a city-wide search for the missing royalty. Expand beyond the city if needed. Maintain patrols, and keep the population from panicking. Make reassuring statements about semi-related matters, like we still have the situation under control. For now, we need to prevent total panic."
Guard Pony: "Yes, your highness!"
Spike: "Well, well, well. I guess all that time leading the Elemental Harmony Squad paid off, eh?"
Twilight: "I'd like to think so!"
Other Guard Pony: "Your highness! Terrible news from Ponyville! The Hellmouth is opening! The Everfree Forest is invading!"
Twilight: "Pony what."
Spike: "We're doomed!" *faints*
Animals of Ponyville's surroundings: *have taken refuge in Fluttershy's cottage*
Fluttershy: "My goodness, what's got you so scared?"
Fluttershy: *takes a look outside*
Dark Vines of Death: "SURPRISE TENTACLE BUTTSECKS!"
Fluttershy: "...Let's all move to the volcanoes. Worst they have is
dragons."
Sweet Apple Acre: *Dark Vine of Deathinvasion!*
Applejack: "Celestiadammit, just fer once, just fer
once, Ah'd like ta complete a harvest cycle without making tha insurance provider cry!"
Up in the sky!
It's a bird!
It's a plane!
No, it's… Rainbow Dash, getting her flank kicked by invulnerable spiky clouds of doom shooting lightning like Zeus on crack!
Rainbow Dash: "Augh! When did 'weatherpony' turn into 'bullet hell'?!"
At the Carousel Boutique:
Dark Vines of Death used MAGIC SCRAMBLING!
It's SUPER-EFFECTIVE!
Rarity: "Why is the sky suddenly bipolar, and why is my magic attempting murder on my cat?"
Rarity: "Let's see… Saint MacGyver, give me strength…" *shorts own horn out with saliva*
Rarity: "So the enzymes in saliva
do conduct magic. Myth confirmed!"
Opal: *glare*
Rarity: "...Wasn't me, I swear."
Opal, who cannot talk: "Sleep with one eye open, bitch."
Sweetie Belle: "Rarity, help! My magic's gone all scrambled and it won't stoooop!"
Scrambled magic: *animates drape*
Animated drape: "I AM THE GHOST OF PARADISE ESTATE!"
Rarity: "That's… never a good sign."
Twilight: "All right. I'm not sure what to do about the missing God-Queens, but a Hellmouth invasion sounds like a job for the Elemental Harmony Squad. Come on, Spike - if we hurry, there is a small, minuscule, non-zero chance that we might be able to catch the last train for Baltimare, and commandeer it to go to Ponyville instead!"
Spike: "Or - hear this genius idea for a moment - we could use your wings."
Twilight: "Genius idea accepted! Prepare to enter the danger zone!"
Some time later:
Spike: "This may have been a less than genius idea!" *buckles seat belt*
Twilight: "...When did you get a seat belt that could be attached to a pony?"
Spike: "Within a day of your getting wings. I'm not
stupid."
Twilight: "Well, here's the Ponyville library! Prepare for landing!"
Twilight: "..."
Twilight: "It is occurring to me, a few seconds too late, that I might be modelling my landing technique on Rainbow Dash."
Spike: "MAYDAY! INCOMING WINDOW!"
Twilight: *teleport-crash!*
Spike: *window crash!*
Spike: "Just call me… Blue Screen Of Death…"
Twilight: "So so sorry, Spike. I guess with the extra mass of my wings, my spur-of-the-moment teleport spell felt like it was including you."
Spike: "Wings: Slapstick for every occasion. Ow."
Pinkie Pie: "So, fearless leader? Kiiiinda having weed trouble here, and-"
*twitchy-twitch!*
Pinkie Pie: *dodges Dark Vine of Death*
Meanwhile, in another dimension:
Pinkie Pie: "Wow! Those DVDs are
nasty! Thanks for accidentally taking that hit for me, Sunny!"
Sunset Shimmer: "What… are friends for?"
Pinkie Pie: "Aw, that's nice of you to say."
Sunset Shimmer: "No, seriously. What are they for?" *tries to scrape self off floor*
Applejack: "Pour la République!" *guillotines Dark Vine of Death*
Applejack: "So, turns out ya canna stay outta Ponyville fer long, otherwise
this kinda crap starts happenin'."
Rarity: "But, thankfully, we can assume our illustrious God-Queen Celestia has sent you here to investigate the current crisis."
Twilight: "Well, actually… I'm sure she
would have?"
Rarity: "Beg your pardon?"
Twilight: "In fact, if the multiple-world interpretation of quantum physics is correct, it's practically guaranteed that there's at least one universe where that
did happen!"
Rarity: "I'm not sure I follow."
Twilight: "And really, is her spirit not
always with us, guiding our every action? Isn't the culture that has shaped us, and thus our decisions, the work of her long and hard social engineering? So can not
every act we make in the defense of Equestria be considered to be done at her behest, however indirectly?"
Rarity: "I'm afraid I must request clarification, my dear."
Twilight: "Well, I suppose what I'm trying to say in a kinda-sorta roundabout way is that…"
Spike: "CELESTIA AND LUNA ARE MIA!"
Rarity: "LE GASP!"
Applejack: "SAY IT AIN'T SO!"
Pinkie Pie: "That's… not funny."
Fluttershy: *faints*
Rainbow Dash: "HELL AND DAMNATION, WE ARE DONE FOR!"
Twilight: "So, I figured I'd come back here, get the squad together, break out the superweapon, and nuke the problem."
Applejack: "BFFs an' Rainbow Deathrays. All is right in that world."
Applejack: "Well, 'cept fer tha missing God-Queens. Any idea on who we need ta nuke ta right
that part?"
Twilight: "Uh, hello? Messed-up cycle of day and night, weather patterns that look like Dali on drugs, unnatural vegetation… Do I
really need to spell it out loud?"
Twilight: "All right, squad. Use the summoning formation. Which, conveniently, is also the execution formation."
Elemental Harmony Squad:
*POWER OVERWHELMING!*
Elemental Harmony Squad:
*UNLEASH RAINBOW DEATHRAY!*
Elemental Harmony Squad: *...and get some frequent flyer miles*
Ebon Dragon:
"Let's get down to business
To find her - the One!
Is there any stallion
With whom she'll - have fun?
They're the saddest bunch we've ever met
But you can bet - before we're through
Sister I'll find a stallion for you!"
Ebon Dragon: "...Wait. Where did the echo of the Chaos Cave go?"
Ebon Dragon: "...Oh."
Twilight: "Ebon Dragon, you are charged with gross violation of the natural order with intent to laugh, and multiple counts of godnapping. Let the old-school God-Queens go, and we'll let you plea bargain!"
Ebon Dragon: "OK, see, while I'm
flattered that you're giving me the credit, I'm afraid I haven't done anything of the sort lately. Unless you count other universes. Believe me, kidnapping Big Brother took
creativity."
Rainbow Dash: "Minotaur manure! You think we don't recognize your lame-flank style?!"
Pinkie Pie: "Yeah! We don't have time for your stupid jokes! This is serious business!"
Ebon Dragon: "Come on, now! I thought we were friends! Would I
lie to you?"
Twilight: "Affirmative. And you're
Fluttershy's friend. Not
mine."
Applejack: "Oh yes ya would, ya ragin' soulhole."
Rainbow Dash: "YES, you draconequus scum!"
Rarity: "You most definitely would, you despicable ruffian!"
Pinkie Pie: "Totally, you jerk!"
Fluttershy: "...Maybe, if it was funny?"
Ebon Dragon: "Well then! It seems we're at an impasse. What
do friends do in this sort of situation?"
Ebon Dragon: "I'm asking because, you know, you've recently gotten yourself promoted to God-Queen of Friendship, so supposedly you're the number one expert in the field. Congrats on the promotion, by the way - I
like seeing the status quo upended like that!"
Twilight: "Well, ideally, friends would sit down, have a long, serious talk, reconsider assumptions, try to come up with a reasonable compromise…"
Rainbow Dash: "...but since we're not friends and we hate your face, we'll just stone you! ...Also, we're in a bit of a hurry here, so, RAINBOW DEATHRAY!"
Fluttershy: "WAAAAIT! What if… and I know it's kinda out there, but bear with me - what if, just for once, he
is telling the truth? I mean, God-Queen Celestia wanted him free for a reason, right?"
Twilight: "FINE. We'll take a chance on this. Eddy, who do
you think is responsible for this?"
Ebon Dragon: "Instead of asking the guy you've been Dreyfussing all this time, how about you ask the gal you
used to Dreyfus instead?"
Zecora:
"Though a full metal zebra yours truly may be
The rage of the Hellmouth has forced me to… run away
The forest's become so wild and chaotic
The plants are deranged, and weather's… psycho."
Twilight: "That non-rhyme was pretty weak."
Zecora: "Well excuuuse me, princess! I'm in a bit of a state of shock here!"
Twilight: "Fair enough. Do you have any idea what caused this?"
Zecora: "Nnnnnooooo…"
Twilight: "Buck."
Zecora: "...buuuuut I think I know
how to find out."
Twilight: "You're the best. Well, second-best after her Momjesty. What have you got?"
Zecora: "This is… something I've been holding onto for a rainy day. Or just a plain shitty day, like right now. It's called
The Milk of Time."
Pinkie Pie: "Doesn't look very milky!"
Zecora: "Well, no. That's because it's incomplete. Basically, it's a flashback potion. It lets you see specific events in the past relating to what you want to find out more about."
Twilight: "Sounds… really powerful, actually. I mean, it'd have to comb through space and time to find something specifically related to something that's happening right now. That's not exactly run-of-the-mill magic you're talking about."
Zecora: "Correct. And that's why it's incomplete: You need
divine magic to empower it."
Twilight: "Then we're well and truly bucked! How are we supposed to find a god to help us now?!"
Zecora: "..."
Applejack: "..."
Rarity: "..."
Rainbow Dash: "..."
Pinkie Pie: "..."
Fluttershy: "..."
Twilight: "Oh."
Rarity: "All right, then. I suppose we'll need some time for you to research the correct spell to achieve this, as soon as you are done analyzing Zecora's notes, and hopefully by then you can- You're already done, aren't you."
Twilight: "Archmage."
Rarity: "But of course."
Twilight: *drinks half the flashback potion*
FLASHBACK!
Twilight: "OK, let's see. The God-Queens disappeared a few hours ago, so…"
God-Queen Luna: "Not. Another. Step. Bitch."
Twilight: "...shortly before their disappearance. Got it."
God-Queen Luna: "Did you really think I was going to play second fiddle forever?! Did you really think I was going to let all my hard work go unappreciated?! Did you really think that I was going to let them all worship you and your stupid thermonuclear fireball?!"
Twilight: "Uh…"
God-Queen Luna: "Well, THINK AGAIN, BUCKO!
I say it's time for some good old-fashioned monotheism! All shall love me and despair!"
God-Queen Luna:
*TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART!*
God-Queen Luna:
"BEHOLD THE POWER OF DARKNESS!"
God-Queen Luna:
*NIGHT MARE MOON!*
Twilight: "..."
Twilight: "OK… either the situation is even
more bucked up than I'd realized, or this 'flash' has
a lot of 'back' into it."
Night Mare Moon: "Tonight begins a glorious new dark age! A thousand-year rule, followed by
another thousand-year rule, then another, and another, and
another! Eternal darkness for everypony!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Hahaha
NO. Molly… Luna? You're being unreasonable. Stop it. Stop being unreasonable."
Night Mare Moon: "I am Luna no more! I AM
NIGHT MARE MOON!"
God-Queen Celestia: "You know… I didn't want to believe it."
God-Queen Celestia: "The vandalism against sundials… The massacre of roosters… The fire at the bed manufactory… The attempts to destroy the Sun… The 'Luna Rules' graffiti defacing monuments…"
God-Queen Celestia: "I had
everything investigated. Checked every possible explanation, every way it might not be you behind it all. I checked the Ebon Dragon's stone prison. I looked for traces of Sombra's return. I angrily interrogated every cultist I could find in Innshoof. I even went on an epic time-travel adventure to find evidence of Tirac being behind it all."
God-Queen Celestia: "I tried everything… and it was you all along."
Night Mare Moon: "Yes, you foolish fool! Now, you shall pay the price for your lack of vision! Die! DIE!
DIE!"
God-Queen Celestia: "OK, no. We're not doing this. Screw the Cain and Abel routine. Luna, you're my
sister, and I love you. I understand that there are…
issues... but that doesn't mean we have to fight. I
refuse to fight you. Let's discuss this like civilized mares, instead of giving ourselves heavy metal makeovers and renaming ourselves with lame puns. If we just talk it out, we-"
Night Mare Moon:
"EX-TER-MI-NATE!" *plasma buster!*
God-Queen Celestia: "Whoa." *dodges this*
Night Mare Moon:
"REND! ANNIHILATE! TERMINATE! DESTROY! OBLITERATE! KILL!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Sis, I'm sensing some serious hostility issues here!"
Night Mare Moon: *plasma buster! Direct hit edition!*
God-Queen Celestia: "AUGH!"
*a God-Queen falls*
Twilight: "AUGH! Right in the feels!"
Twilight: *lands next to smoldering Celestia*
Twilight: "Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
please be a flashback to the distant, distant past!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Augh. That smarts…"
Twilight: "Whew."
God-Queen Celestia: "..."
God-Queen Celestia: "Oh, Molly." *sheds tear*
God-Queen Celestia: "This is wrong. This shouldn't be happening." *heads to the Batcave*
God-Queen Celestia: "But it
is happening. The Sun, blotted out. Mad, unstoppable tyranny at best. An extinction event at worst. I… I have no idea how to talk you down." *opens arsenal*
God-Queen Celestia: "But I can
stall you. Long enough to think of a better plan. I hope." *gathers Elements of Harmony*
Twilight: "Huh. That's… That's how the Rainbow Deathray
used to look."
Twilight: "...That's a relief!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Sister! I'm really really sorry about this!"
Night Mare Moon: "Save your sorries! Are you
seriously trying to fight me with the
Elements of Harmony?! You're
alone, imbecile! No Wind Whistler to turn to for advice! No Fizzy to play with! No Danny to crack jokes with! No Spike to mentor! No Molly to coddle! No mom, no dad! You have no-one left to be in harmony
with!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF MY PLASMA BUSTER!"
God-Queen Celestia:
*POWER OVERWHELMING!*
Night Mare Moon: "WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE! With whom can you be in harmony?!"
God-Queen Celestia: "The world."
God-Queen Celestia: *sheds tear* "Bang."
God-Queen Celestia: *by her power, is Captain Pony!* "Zoom."
God-Queen Celestia: *Rainbow Deathray FTW!* "Straight to the Moon."
Moon: *gets new geographic feature*
God-Queen Celestia: "...Goodbye, Molly."
God-Queen Celestia: "..."
God-Queen Celestia: "OK, screw this tragic bullshit! I'm going to reboot the universe right in its stupid face until it gives me a way to save my sister!"
END OF FLASHBACK!
Twilight: "Uh. Whiplash."
Rainbow Dash: "Twilight! Did you get anything from this weird crap?"
Twilight: "Yeah, some early grey hairs for my mane. Nothing useful, though."
Zecora: "That would suggest that the chain of causality involved here is
really long, and there wasn't enough juice to get to the root of it. Another sip will
probably do the trick."
Twilight: "I hope so. Judging from the taste, the Milk of Time has had all the time in the world to expire."
FLASHBACK!
Twilight: "All my worries aside, I have to admit, I'm a bit excited to get a glimpse of what Equestria looked like so early in its History, before even Luna's banishment…"
Barracuda with a mustache made of cotton candy: "I'm on a boat! I'm on a boat! Take a good hard look at the pony-bucking boat!"
Twilight: "Uh…"
Light bulb: "How many ponies do you need to screw before something gets done? LET'S FIND OUT!"
Twilight: "Er…"
The Color Red: "Today, I have replaced the town's entire water supply with hemoglobin. Let's watch and see if anypony notices!"
Twilight: "OK, either it was worse than I thought, or I went back to the time of…"
Ebon Dragon: "Total chaos, everybody was kung-fu fighting, and I get to be a dick to
everyone. I love being me."
Twilight: "Right. That."
God-Queens Celestia and Luna: *advance, grimly*
Ebon Dragon: "Oh, hey there! It's the Unconquered Sun and the Silver Lady! What, the Maidens of Destiny were too busy?" *eats seeds of Discord*
God-Queens Celestia and Luna: *have had enough of your shit!*
Ebon Dragon: "By the way, congrats on making it through the fiery tornado-quake! I figured another sharknado would have been repetitive. So, wanna pin the tail on the pony?" *has Celestia's tail*
God-Queen Celestia: "AUGH! That's the 5,678th worst thing I've seen you do!"
Ebon Dragon: "Yeah, well, whatcha gonna do about it, huh? You gonna go cry to Gaia?"
God-Queens Celestia and Luna: *pull out the heavy artillery!*
Ebon Dragon: "Oooh,
now what have you got here?"
God-Queen Celestia: "Remember the Rainbow of Light?"
God-Queen Luna: "Meet the 2.0 version!"
God-Queens Celestia and Luna: "AND MEET JUSTICE!"
Ebon Dragon: "Seriously, you two are comedy
gold! Look at yourself! Fighting for imaginary ideas like friendship and justice! Looking so grim and gritty, like this was the big heroic climax at the end of a long epic quest! You're
hilarious!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Hey, what's ugly and screams forever? YOUR FACE!" [/mistaque]
RAINBOW DEATHRAY FTW!
Twilight: "OK, that was fun to watch, but what does that have to do with-"
FLASHBACK! STILL!
Twilight: "..."
Twilight: "There's a big crystalline tree brimming with cosmic power. Why is there a big crystalline tree brimming with cosmic power?"
God-Queen Luna: "My goodness… The Tree of Harmony?"
Twilight: "Pony what."
God-Queen Celestia: "Come on, sis. We've got a world to save."
God-Queen Luna: "Sister… Are you sure this is
wise? I mean, I'll admit I find it hard to imagine any potential outcome
worse than being ruled forever by the Ebon Dragon, but that might be simply a failure of my imagination."
God-Queen Celestia: "I understand your concern, but this is a risk we
must take. We have resisted the escalation, the magical arms race, for as long as the world could afford it. But now, with a Yozi in town, and Aslan-knows-what else lurking in the dark corners of reality, I'm afraid we must obtain a bigger weapon."
God-Queen Celestia: "And if it reassures you… even without the Rainbow Deathray, the Tree of Harmony will still have the power to contain the malicious, unchecked growth of this Hellmouth."
God-Queen Luna: "Then let us do as we must."
God Queens Celestia and Luna: *retrieve Elements of Harmony from Tree of the same*
END OF FLASHBACK!
Twilight: "...Huh."
Applejack: "That a good 'huh' or a bad 'huh', sugarcube?"
Twilight: "A bit of both? I still don't know what happened to her Momjesty and Luna… but I think I know what's the deal with the DVDs."
Applejack: "Do tell!"
Twilight: "Apparently, there's some crystal-ish growth called the Tree of Harmony that plays a role in containing the Hellmouth Forest. It's where the Elements of Harmony come from."
Ebon Dragon: "You don't say."
Twilight: "I'm guessing something happened to it, and that plays into the current hellish invasion."
Applejack: "Great! So now we know where ta aim tha Rainbow Deathray! Let's go hug tha tree!"
Fluttershy: "Yay!"
Applejack: "Well, you too, sure, but Ah meant tha Tree o'Harmony. So, where is it?"
Twilight: "...In the Hellmouth?"
Applejack: "Optimism droppin' evah-so-slightly."
Meanwhile, somewhere else:
God-Queen Luna: "Sister? I am unable to move an inch. What of you?"
God-Queen Celestia: "The same, I'm afraid."
God-Queen Luna: "Regrettable. However… all may not be lost."
God-Queen Celestia: "It rarely is."
God-Queen Luna: "I have… a plan. I believe that, by mixing arcane and anti-arcane energies within my horn, I can generate an explosive reaction which will destroy our prison. It will also destroy my horn, permanently crippling my magic, but that is an acceptable price if the safety of Equestria is at stake."
God-Queen Celestia: "...Let's call that plan L."
God-Queen Luna: "You are
not to enact that plan yourself in order to spare me the injury! Regardless of your desire to protect a sister, Equestria hath greater need of thou than of… Wait, plan
L? What, pray tell, is plan A?"
God-Queen Celestia: "Oh, plan A has already fallen through, or we wouldn't be here. I
do, however, have a false tooth with a pre-recorded spell that it can unleash at a moment's notice."
God-Queen Luna: "What spell, precisely?"
God-Queen Celestia: "A solid backward temporal shift of 48 hours. Since the prison around us wasn't there yet, I'd be free to get out, get to Canterlot, gather help, and get back here to free
you after 48 hours to avoid a paradox."
God-Queen Luna: "Marvelous! Then enact plan B post-haste!"
God-Queen Celestia: "Actually, the false tooth is plan J. I'd rather save it for a last resort - understand, it can only be used
once before enemies start
expecting it."
God-Queen Luna: "...Then what is your
current plan?"
God-Queen Celestia: "Simple: Wait to be rescued by one of our many competent allies."
God-Queen Luna: "I am starting to believe that I hate your plans."
God-Queen Celestia: "Hey, they
work, don't they?"
At the edge of the Hellmouth Forest:
Rarity: "Well, despite the unseemly infestation of DVDs, I must say this situation is reminiscent of certain more positive memories. Remember, not so long ago we were standing at this very spot, about to engage in an epic adventure to save the world. In a sense, this is where our friendship began."
Twilight: "I mostly remember that this is where I tried to solo an adventure module meant for six players, like an idiot. Not realizing that we had to do things together."
Rarity: "Twilight… Are you… fishing for reassurance? Are your royal duties, perhaps, getting to you a bit more than you'd like to admit?"
Twilight: "Everything's fine! Or at least, it will be once we free her Momjesty!"
Rainbow Dash: "And Whatsherface!"
Twilight: "Right, and Luna, too."
Twilight: "All right, everypony. I don't need to tell you all how dangerous the Hellmouth is. Keeps your eyes open. Watch in front of you. Watch behind you. Watch above you. Watch beside you. Watch…"
Rockodile: "Watch your step?"
Twilight: "That, too."
Rockodile: "WATCH THE INSIDE OF MY STOMACH!"
Twilight: "Evade-evade-
evade!" *fails to evade*
Applejack: "DEATH TA MINERAL REPTILES!"
Elemental Harmony Squad: *flawless victory!*
Twilight: "Oh jeez. I kept trying for a last-second dodge, and instead of teleporting, I instinctively tried to
fly away. I think my combat reflexes got a bit messed up by the physical changes."
Applejack: "So… ye're in the middle o'tha Hellmouth Forest… while it's bein' even
Hellier than usual… and ye're not functionin' at full capacity?"
Applejack: "..."
Applejack: "Twilight? Er… Ah think maybe ya ought ta sit this one out."
Twilight: "Beg your bucking pardon?!"
Applejack: "No offense, but Ah'm just sayin'… It's too risky, is all."
Twilight: "I am
Twilight Sparkle, Savior of Worlds! I'm the fighting pony, Megamare! I have faced more risks in the past couple years alone than ten average ponies do in their entire
lives! I soloed the Tartarus quest! I've traveled through time! I went to another dimension to stop Sunset Shimmer! I have led this crazy squad through thick and thin!"
Applejack: "Ah ain't denyin' any o'that, but… ye're also a God-Queen in training. With Celestia an' Luna gone, an' Cadence kinda busy, ye're next in line ta lead tha country. Equestria might
need ya in tha comin' days."
Rarity: "Applejack, please! I appreciate your good intentions, but you are being rather inconsiderate, don't you think? Besides, it is not as if no pony in Canterlot will be able to step in and fill the power vacuum. There's Fancy Pants, there's prince Blueblood OH CELESTIA TWILIGHT YOU MUST RETURN TO CANTERLOT AT ONCE!"
Twilight: "Butbutbut… The Rainbow Deathray! It needs all six of us to fire! How exactly are you planning to save the Tree of Harmony without me?!"
Rainbow Dash: "Uh, hello? We're awesome. We'll figure something out. Besides, we've only used that thing to save the day, like, twice. Didn't use it against Chrysalis, or Trixie, or Sombra…"
Twilight: "It was used against Sunset Shimmer!"
Rainbow Dash: "Solo quests in other dimensions don't count!"
Twilight: "..."
Twilight: "...You seriously want me gone?"
Fluttershy: "No, it's just… We think Equestria needs you more than we do."
Spike: "Twilight, what's that breaking sound coming from your chest area? Are you hurt?"
Ebon Dragon: "Do you know what it is about you that forces my respect, Gummy? It is the way you give absolutely no fucks." *uses Gummy as claw-trimmer*
Gummy: *gives no fucks*
Twilight: "Fuck my life."
Ebon Dragon: "Hey there, Miss 'My Name Is Also My Solar Caste'! How did the epic quest go?"
Twilight: "It's still going on, if you must know. My friends agreed that Equestria needed my leadership more than my badassitude."
Ebon Dragon: "I-"
Twilight: "Oh, and if you say
word one to try to turn me against my friends based on this, I
will find a way to turn you into a G3 version of yourself."
Ebon Dragon: "Perish the thought! No, your friends made a reasonable call. I'm just surprised
you went along with it. I didn't have you pegged as the royal privilege type."
Twilight: "This isn't about royal privilege! It's just that my country needs me!"
Ebon Dragon: "Well, I will take your word of it. If you think it's in Equestria's benefit to be ruled by a God-Queen who put her personal safety before that of others, who am I to poke holes in that logic? After all, it's not like the decisions and choices you make over a lifetime define your
character or anything. Not like this is the first step toward becoming Tyrant Twilight. Or like a lifetime unburdened by mortality will provide many, many opportunities for such steps."
Twilight: "..."
Twilight:
"Into the woods without regret!
The choice is made, the task is set!
Into the woods, but not forget-
-Ting why I'm on the journey!"
Spike: "Twilight, c'mon. I know the Ebon Dragon technically isn't a Creature Of Darkness anymore, but he's not exactly Lawful Good, either. He's probably just trying to manipulate you into doing something stupid!"
Twilight: "Or maybe that's what he wants me to think, or maybe that's what he wants me to think that he wants me to think, or maybe it's something else yet! If I'm not good enough to predict him, then I should just go with what I otherwise think is right!"
Rainbow Dash: "Are we there yet?"
Applejack: "Nope.
Rainbow Dash: "Are we there yet?"
Applejack: "Nope.
Rainbow Dash: "Are we there yet?"
Applejack: "Nope.
Rainbow Dash: "Celestiadammit, how many times do I need to ask before you say yes?!"
Applejack: "Hopefully none, 'cause Ah'm gonna guess that silvery bluish light comin' from that cave full o'DVDs is tha Tree o'Harmony."
Rainbow Dash: "Hm. Sounds legit."
Twilight: "Mom dammit, where did the rest of the squad go? Gah, this is the worst of both worlds - I'm lost in the Hellmouth,
and separated from my friends!"
Spike: "Ahem."
Twilight: "Present company excepted."
Spike: "Well, your present company will try to gain some altitude and see if I can spot the others."
Twilight: "Er, why? I have wings, you know. I
could fly up there."
Spike: "Between the crazy fauna and flora in this place, and how clumsy you are in flight? I'm guessing you'll be safer on the ground."
Spike: *climbs up*
Spike: *spots Elemental Harmony Squad*
Spike: "Jackpot! Twilight, we-"
Twilight: *is assaulted by ground-level vegetation*
Spike: "I… occasionally guess wrong?"
Applejack: "Well… If anythin' in this crazy forest is tha Tree o'Harmony, Ah'm gonna guess it's this."
Tree of Harmony: *getting surprise tentacle buttsecks from DVDs*
Fluttershy: "My goodness! I'm more of a zoology expert, but, this doesn't look good."
Applejack: "Then let's smite non-goodness!"
Applejack: *plant-smiter!*
DVDs: *unimpressed*
Rainbow Dash: "Move aside - let a
real badass handle it!"
Rainbow Dash: *mare of action!*
DVDs: *smite pony!*
Rarity: "All right, I believe we have convincingly established that plain physical force will not resolve this matter."
Applejack: "Yeah, well, what are
ya gonna do, whine it ta death?"
Rarity: "I… don't think social attacks are applicable."
Pinkie Pie: "GASP! That rules out Fluttershy and me, too!"
Fluttershy: "So… what we need is someone smart enough to figure out a way to solve this. Or at least, someone with whom we can fire the Rainbow Deathray."
Applejack: "..."
Rainbow Dash: "..."
Rarity: "..."
Pinkie Pie: "..."
Fluttershy: "We were idiots, and we surrounded her."
Spike: "YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS! Twilight! Plants! Blue meanies!"
Gas Plants: *gang up on Twilight*
Daring Do Theme: *suddenly playing*
Applejack: "Get away from 'er, you BITCHES!"
Elemental Harmony Squad: *PONIES GONNA PWN!*
Pinkie Pie: "Woo! Flawless victory!"
Last Gas Plant: "Not flawless." *strikes…*
Twilight: *plasma buster!*
Twilight: *cough* "Flawless… victory." *cough*
Applejack: "Goodness, Twilight, you OK? What kinda gas were those things blowin' at ya?"
Twilight: "Nitrogen gas, mostly."
Applejack: "...Is
that harmful?"
Twilight: "Well, 80% of the air we breathe is nitrogen. That was just a higher concentration."
Applejack: "Then why did it knock ya out?"
Twilight: "The other 20% is
supposed to be mostly oxygen."
Applejack: "...Oh."
Twilight: "So, yeah.
Really glad to have you girls around."
Rarity: "I assure you, darling, the sentiment is mutual. Be we facing dark goddesses, dickish Yozis, Unseelie queens, Dark Vines of Death, or mere sleepovers, you remain a vital member of our group."
Rainbow Dash: "Yeah! Screw Equestria, we need you more!"
Fluttershy: "Group hug!"
Twilight: "So. This is the Tree of Harmony."
Applejack: "Matches tha description from yer flashback, ta tha very least."
Twilight: "And these Dark Vines of Death…" *hovers closer*
DVDs: *SURPRISE TENTACLE B-*
Twilight: "BAD TOUCH!" *plasma buster!*
Twilight: "Hm…"
Rainbow Dash: "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's deathray these fuckers!"
Twilight: "Wouldn't work."
Rainbow Dash: "...You just suggested rainbows don't solve everything. You take that back."
Twilight: "Remember how the DVDs were able to disrupt Rarity's magic? I think I'm grasping the mechanics of it. It's like these things were specifically designed to counter powerful magic, turning it against itself - and the effect is strongest
here. Heck, those things could probably give her Momjesty trouble."
Twilight: "I can plasma-buster them from the outside for a little bit, but… The Rainbow Deathray, for all its showy, nuke-y power, affects things
internally. Inside those things, it would just… fizzle."
Applejack: "But if even our strongest superweapon canna do crap, then what do we do?!"
Twilight: "Actually… I suspect the Tree of Harmony's own defense mechanism should be enough to handle this. It's just that it's run out of fuel."
Twilight: "...Meaning that we need to refuel it. By returning the Elements of Harmony whence they came."
Rainbow Dash: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! You want us to lose the super-special-awesome superweapon we've used to save Equestria three times, counting Sunset Shimmer?!"
Rarity: "You want us to lose the only thing known to ponykind that can overpower the Ebon Dragon?!"
Applejack: "Ya want us ta lose tha thing that made us BFFs?!"
Twilight: "The Elements of Harmony are what got us together in the first place. But you know what? If it had just been that, we wouldn't have been able to
use them."
Twilight: "You know what my best memory of our first night together is? It wasn't unlocking unimaginable cosmic power and using it to nuke Night Mare Moon - that would come in third position,
after realizing you were all my friends, and reuniting with her Momj - with Celestia. Nuking the Ebon Dragon? Important, but not as joyful as reuniting with my friends."
Twilight: "Things change. Life throws you curveballs. The status quo gets pulled from under your feet. My new royal duties? Oh, they're gonna test our friendship. Put it through mid-terms, finals, and more. But we're going to
stay friends, with or without a multicolored merchandisable superweapon!"
Elemental Harmony Squad: "D'awww!"
Elemental Harmony Squad: *hoof over Elements of Harmony*
Twilight: "All right! Let's end this!"
DVDs: *SURPRISE TENTA-*
Twilight Sparkle, Savior of Worlds: "BLUE-RAY, BITCHES!" *RETURNS ELEMENTS!*
TREE OF HARMONY FTW!
Twilight: "Well! That's one problem solved. Now we…"
God-Queens Celestia and Luna: *are there!*
Twilight: "...And that's
every problem solved!" *God-Queen hug!*
God-Queen Celestia: "Splendidly done. I didn't even
teach you the lesson about knowing when to relinquish power - you learned
that all on your own, on the fly! I can't tell you how proud I am of you. All of you."
Twilight: "I'm just so glad you're all right and Blueblood will never rise above 28th in line for the throne!"
Twilight: "...Wait. My magic sense is tingling."
Tree of Harmony, who cannot talk: "IN THE NAME OF TWILIGHT. IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA. IN THE NAME OF LUNA. BEHOLD."
Magic Box: *appears*
Twilight: "Pony what."
God-Queen Luna: "A box with six locks, presumably requiring six keys. Well, the implications are obvious enough, but where are the keys?"
God-Queen Celestia: "Don't look at me, I'm not omniscient (despite some appearances to the contrary). But I'm glad to see that you have a new team project. Epic quests are good for Equestria."
Twilight: "I suppose."
Twilight: "I'm just… sorry the plans for the Summer Sun Celebration got messed up, I guess?"
God-Queen Celestia: "Oh, hardly, Twilight."
Twilight: "Well, we're kinda past the time-"
God-Queen Celestia: "Twilight, we control the seasons and celestial objects. We
decide when the Summer Sun starts, in pretty much every way."
Twilight: "...Point taken."
And thus, as they exit the Hellmouth…
Ebon Dragon: "Hail the conquering heroes! The heroes who, for some strange, mysterious reason that I totally didn't see coming, are not currently equipped with the superweapon that I was previously defeated with. Why, this raises certain interesting possibili-"
Fluttershy: "Shut up and sit down."
Ebon Dragon: "Wha-"
Fluttershy: "Shut up and sit down."
Ebon Dragon: "But I-"
Fluttershy: "Shut up and sit down."
Ebon Dragon: "I am-"
Fluttershy: "Shut up and sit down."
Ebon Dragon: "..."
Ebon Dragon: "Can I just-"
Fluttershy: "Shut up and sit down."
Ebon Dragon: *shuts up and sits down*
Fluttershy: "With or without a superweapon, you're still my bitch. Mostly because I'm the only person who actually
likes you. If you wanna change that, you're gonna have to keep on learning to behave like a friend, even
without the threat of petrification."
Ebon Dragon: "...Freaking Zenith Castes."
Applejack: "One thing Ah don't get… why did that whole mess start now?"
Ebon Dragon: "Yeah, that was weird. Those seeds of Discord I sowed should have sprouted
ages ago."
Twilight: "ANGRY PONY WHAT."
Ebon Dragon: "Back when Celly and Luna came with their big honking super-weapon? I didn't think it could
beat me, but I figured it'd be funnier if it just fizzled completely. So I planted some express-seeds to grow toward the Tree of Harmony, disrupt it so the Elements couldn't call on its power, and then, jump out of the ground to catch the alicorn sisters, Jaws-style. It would have been
hilarious!"
Ebon Dragon: "Buuuuuuut, I
might have underestimated the power of Harmony, just a tad. The DVDs couldn't breach the tree's protective field…"
Twilight: "...until it was temporarily weakened even
further, because one of the Elements of Harmony was taken to another dimension for several days!"
Ebon Dragon: "And bingo was his name-o!"
Twilight: "YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US HOURS AGO, YOU DICK!"
Ebon Dragon: "Really? Because, looking at Celly, I was under the impression that retaining information in order to position you into learning a valuable lesson about friendship and being a God-Queen was A-OK."
Twilight: "Hate you. SO. MUCH."
Summer Sun Celebration:
God-Queen Celestia: "Citizens of Equestria, new immigrants, and assorted tourists! It is with great joy that I raise the Summer Sun - not in celebration of Night Mare Moon's defeat (seriously, Night Mare Night is way more than enough), but of the return of my awesome sister whom you should all be spending more time getting to know: God-Queen Luna!"
God-Queen Luna: *Moon down! Moon down!*
God-Queen Celestia: *Celestia Invicta!*
Twilight Sparkle, PhD: "All right… Let's see just how much XP I got from this quest…"
Twilight Sparkle: PhD: *Sonic Mageboom!*
Rainbow Dash: "That was so awesome, I'm not even jealous."
People of Equestria: "Wheee! Rising number of God-Queens! We feel safer already!"
Twilight Sparkle, PhD: "You know what? I got a good feeling about the future."
"...and I've started research to figure out the magic box. Love, your Little Sister Best Friend Forever."
Captain Equestria: "The letter ends here."
Sergeant Redcoat: "Let me get this straight: You encountered a Yozi-based problem with enough power to abduct the God-Queens and seriously mess up the natural order… and it literally got resolved in less than 24 hours?"
Captain Equestria: "That's the gist of it."
Sergeant Redcoat: "...Equestria
has come a long away."