Hey all. Sorry this chapter took so long, between my work and my game addition (Unturned this time, what's with me and Zombies) I've been mighty distracted from writing lately.
No worries tho. The snip is here.
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The Tourist 1-4
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It wasn't much longer after that exchange that Remilia had summoned her guests for dinner.
Seeking to impress, the lady of the house had ordered a grand feast to be prepared for her guests in the main dining hall. Food, all prepared to the finest ingredients and served with the finest presentation stretched out before Remiu on one of the largest European style tables she'd ever laid eyes on. When she'd first walked into the room, the poor girl could do nothing but gape and bristle with pure envy for a few moments.
The sheer wastefulness boggled the frugal shrine maiden's mind. The table must have been able to fit twelve people, and the feast itself feed double that number!
When Remilia wanted to show off, she sure as hell didn't pull any punches!
The other diners were already present. Remilia of course was seated at the head of the table, with both Patchouli and Koakuma seated to her right. Sakuya, ever the dutiful maid, was hovering just off to her master's side, while Meiling took her leave soon after showing the mansion's two guests to the dining room.
Never one to let table manners get in the way of her research, Patchouli of course had her head buried in a book and had a look on her face that showed complete disinterest with the feast before her. Koakuma on the other hand seemed livelier, giving Reimu and Renko a wave as they entered the room. Reimu had almost missed the stiffening of Renko's form when the older girl had caught sight of the friendly demon. It had been quick, but Reimu had caught it.
Probably so had everyone else in the room who had been bothering to pay attention.
Uh oh.
"So I take it the tour of the grounds was to your satisfaction?" Remilia said as she motioned for her two guests to the empty a seats to her left.
"Yes indeed! I have to say, I've seen castles with less fancy gardens than yours!" Renko replied as she and Reimu took their seats near Remilia, "You have a very talented groundskeeper, Lady Scarlet."
"I am sure Meiling will be very happy to hear that," Remilia nodded before waving a lazy hand towards Patchouli and Koakuma.
"Professor Usami, allow me to introduce you to my close friend and the owner of the Voile Library, Patchouli Knowledge. The succubus familiar sitting beside her is her assistant, Koakuma. Koa, Patchy, this is Yukari Yakumo's friend from the outside world, Renko Usami."
Patchouli let out a grunt without even looking up from her book 'Astrological Fortune Telling, Fact or Fiction'. Koakuma on the other hand beamed happily the mansion's guest, the wings on his head involuntarily flapping as if sensing her excitement. "It's so good to meet you, Miss Usami. I hear that you want to see the library. We have so few legitimate visitors, I can't wait to show you around. Not to insult Reimu's ability as a tour guide of anything…"
"…yeah, flattered." Renko replied, the smile on her face clearly wooden. Off to the side, Reimu clearly saw the calculating glint appear in Remilia's eyes as she witnessed the exchange.
Uh oh indeed.
"Come now, Patchy. The food is on the table, not behind the pages of your book," Remilia admonished as she reached over the table and plucked the book out of Patchouli's hands and casually handed the tome to the waiting Sakuya, "We have guests, from Yukari Yakumo no less! Tut-tut, you should mind your table manners, my dear."
Separated from her research material, Patchouli glowered at Remilia with all the fury of an anti-social shut-in that had been dragged to a family meal while still in her pyjamas.
"Remi, a few days ago there was an unexplained solar flare that knocked all my sidereal timekeeping telescopes. This stellar event coincided with a surge of high amounts of elemental energy around the planet's poles. I fear that this event-"
Patchouli was abruptly silenced when a helping to Caesar salad swiftly and unexpectedly materialised in her mouth.
"Thank you, Sakuya."
"I live to serve, milady."
"Patchy, Patchy, Patchy. The food is over there." Remilia pointed while the librarian coughed and attempted to swallow the food, "Koakuma, please be a dear and make sure that your master eats her greens. It's important to keep a healthy diet… and the cake is the desert, my dear."
Koakuma meeped as she quickly retracted from hand from where she was trying to sneak a helping of chocolate mudcake onto her own plate.
"So, uh, are dinners at your place always like this?" Renko said, the recovery in her voice indicating that she'd managed to regain her centre.
"Only when we have guests," Remilia replied as she snapped her fingers. Instantly the empty plate on the table before her was filled with generous helpings of salad, lobster thermidor, a variety of roast meats and cheeses… and pudding.
Reimu snorted with amusement. Hypocrite.
"Uh. Okay," Renko looked at Remilia with undisguised surprise as the vampiress picked up her solid gold cutlery elegantly began eating her meal. "She's a vampire, how is she…"
"She can eat food, just like anyone else can." Reimu informed the outsider quickly. It didn't take a genius to see that Remilia was enjoying turning vampire stereotypes upside down in front of Renko, "She just needs an intake of blood, that's all."
"Is that why all the meat looks like its cooked closer to the side of 'raw'?"
"Medium rare actually," Remilia explained as she set her cutlery down as a show of politeness, "Normally I prefer my red meat rare, for obvious reasons, but as I have guests over it would be a very poor host of me not to give care and consideration to your needs."
"Hm. Interesting," Renko mused thoughtfully, whatever thoughts had plagued her before falling by the wayside now that something interesting had once again captured her attention, "The Gensokyo Chronicle stated your main diet consisted mostly of the blood of humans."
Funnily enough, before Remilia could answer, Patchouli intervened.
"That book is full of misconceptions, opinion, exaggeration and lies," Patchouli stated bluntly from where she was trying to fend of Koakuma, the latter trying to spoon feed her master some delicious looking seafood chowder with a spoon.
"It relies too much on hearsay, many of the sources are of dubious quality and it relies too much on outdated historical accounts and pure speculation. All written by a biased girl who does not understand the true nature of the subject matter she is dealing with. It is in my honest opinion, a piece of trash that is more burnable than that rag Shameimaru puts out. One out of five stars."
The silence and stillness that descended on the table could be cut with a knife.
"…this is the first time I've heard you talk like that in all the time I've known you," Remilia shakily whispered after the shock had properly passed, "Where have you been hiding that?"
"I… when did you become a critic, Patchouli-sama?" Sakuya stammered, her perfect elegant façade pierced by the sheer bluntness of the magician's impromptu book review.
"More to the point. That's… a rather harsh opinion." Renko said, her hand having actually shifted down from to her belt where a copy of said book was being kept in a pouch.
"Yeah, uh. It's not as if it's Akyuu's fault that she couldn't go out and visit all the youkai she was supposed to be writing about." Reimu said in her friend's defence.
"And, uh, some of those dubious reports and exaggerations were deliberate, especially when certain youkai wanted to spread misinformation about themselves. I mean Lady Remi-" Koakuma's jaw snapped shut when she saw the glare directed at her from Remilia.
"Nevertheless, it is my humble opinion as a scholar, an academic and a magician that the Gensokyo Chronicle is a heavily biased book that contains so much misinformation that it is not worth the trees that were cut down to make it. As I said: One out of Five stars."
Pathouli folded her arms and glared at the rest of the room, challenging everyone in it to express their dissent. The rest of the room's occupants, form the normally haughty Remilia to Reimu herself, glanced at each other awkwardly as they tried to decide how to handle the situation.
"Um, food?" Reimu quickly put forward.
"Uh, yes. Food." Remilia agreed.
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A/N – And Renko's back! Sorry it took so long. Also, sorry it's still kinda short.
Still at least it's something right?
Anyway, one thing I was hoping to make clear in this snip is that I won't be following the Gensokyo Chronicle to the 'T' - I'll be injecting a lot of fanon into the story whenever I feel like it (eg. I like the idea that Remi likes pudding). Expect some interpretations of characters in this story to be slightly unorthodox (looking at you Cirno).
As for the harsh critique of the Gensokyo Chronicle, I hope I didn't come across as trashing poor Akyuu too much - it's just what I figured Patchy's opinion of the Chronicle would be given it was intentionally written with all those exaggerations and inaccuracies in (in case it wasn't obvious, Remi was one of the people who deliberately spread false information that ended up in the book).
It also serves one of the overarching plot arcs where Renko, based on her observations does eventually decide to take the time and see Akyuu over the inaccuracies of her book.
Anway, for all those who were waiting for it, The Tourist is back now. Hopefully I can make, and keep to, a proper posting schedule for the story!
