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Timelooping Tinker (Worm Fanfic (AU))

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Timelooped righteously furious Taylor would be a sight to behold... and behold... and behold... and behold...
 
Thinker6 said:
Timelooping Tinker

Chapter 5: Bakuda vs. the Secret of the Time Loops!

...

The Secret Diary of Taylor Hebert! - May 25

We've been trapped in the time bubble for two days now. Grace's jury-rigged water recirculator is keeping us hydrated but our air is running out. I estimate that we have one day of air left before we suffocate.

Dinah says we have a 94% chance of rescue. I used my bugs outside the bubble to tell the Protectorate what happened, and they're trying to find a cape who can teleport us out.

I've been worrying a lot about Grace.

Grace is an amazing hero. She led our two-woman team to beat all the villains in the city and claim it for the cause of goodness and justice. We must have saved hundreds of lives, saved thousands of people from drugs and violence. That should be worth a lot of credit, right?

But Grace froze a hundred people in time. That's seriously evil, a major crime.

What if the PRT tries to send her to the Birdcage?

I mean, what Grace did was bad, but...but it was an honest mistake!

And it's not like they were innocents. They were bloodthirsty killer mercenaries who worked for a child-kidnapping supervillain! They would have hurt a lot more than a hundred people if they were free.

And her time bomb didn't even hurt them! Not even a hair on their heads. She just...put them on pause, for a little while.

And, and it's not like the incompetent fools at the PRT have any standing to judge us! Grace and I did more 'heroing' than all their official heroes combined. We took down all the villains, while they sat on their hands and watched.

No, wait, that's giving them too much credit! The 'heroes' undermined us at every turn, letting the villains break out of prison like it was a fucking revolving door. We had to catch Faultline's Crew and the Undersiders four fucking times before they stayed in jail for good. Unbelievable!

And the oh-so-high-and-mighty PRT isn't worthy of judging us, anyway! They're riddled with corruption! We couldn't even ask for their help dealing with Coil, because I'd used my bugs to find out his identity and he turned out to be a fucking PRT commander in his day job, with spies in place in every branch of the government!

That's it. I've decided. If they throw the book at Grace, I'm going to throw the book at them. I'll tear down the corrupt institution of the PRT. I'm going to make Brockton Bay into a city of true heroes, a shining example for the rest of the world to follow.

Even if I have to drag it kicking and screaming.

...

The Secret Diary of Taylor Hebert! - May 27

Starting a new diary because Strider stole my old one as 'evidence' for the court case. Grace says I should be grateful because it will prove that I wasn't responsible for the crime. And then they carted her away in leg irons and containment foam!

Poor Grace! She's done more to protect the city than anyone else, and they're treating her like a criminal because of one little mistake!

At least Mayor Christner is on our side. He was so grateful to us for saving his niece Dinah that he's going to pay for Grace's defense fund. He already hired Carol Dallon (aka Brandish the superhero!) for the defense team. I met the New Wave today (in my costumed identity). They were super nice, they said they were our biggest fans! They even offered us spots on their team!

With the Mayor and the New Wave on our side, things are looking up. If anyone can save Grace from her unjust treatment at the hands of the incompetent and vindictive justice system, it's them!

I asked Dinah about our odds of winning the case, but she refuses to talk to me anymore. Mumbling something about 'saving the world' and 'don't want the numbers to change'. She gave me two slips of paper that she said I'm not allowed to read until after the trial. Weird. I wonder why?

...

...

The Secret Diary of Taylor Hebert! - August 15

The judge was fucking biased. Prejudicial testimony my ass. That's it. They'll pay for this. They'll all pay.

I looked at the notes that Dinah left me. Four and a half words.

WRECK SHIT.

I'M SORRY.

Can do, little girl. Can fucking do!

...

...

...

Bakuda glared at the two women in gray prison uniforms who were escorting her to her new home. Cell block H of the Birdcage.

As they led her past the main living area, she caught a glimpse of a news program on the TV.


In other news, the Brockton Bay PRT scandals just keep rolling in.

First came the resignation of the disgraced Director Piggot, after a wave of arrests for PRT employees who were taking bribes from villains - including a villain who was a highly placed PRT official. Then came the resignation of Armsmaster as Protectorate branch leader, in the wake of the Shadow Stalker and Assault scandals and the New Wave imbroglio.

The PRT is trying to salvage the situation by bringing in the hard-nosed and charismatic Director Tagg. But he faces a scandal off the bat, as local capes secretly recorded his ill-considered remarks to his heroes:

"The damned vigilantes have stolen our reputation. The man on the street doesn't have faith in the real heroes anymore. I sincerely hope that some big name villains come into town, like the Teeth or the Fallen. Some truly fucked-up bastards who'll make our citizens quake in their boots and give kids nightmares. Then we can take 'em down for a nice clean boost to PR. Not that I'd ever admit it to the press, naturally-"

Credit for the recording goes to the New Wave, the independent superhero movement sweeping the nation. The capes who did the deed were Weaver, the beloved local vigilante, and her new tinker sidekick calling himself Chariot-
​

Bakuda smirked. Taylor was fun to watch when she kicked into high gear. The girl's righteous fury knew no bounds. It was too bad she'd had to leave the party early by getting herself Birdcaged.

Not that Bakuda had needed to let the feds put her in the Birdcage. It would have been easy to bust out of their pathetic prison transports at any time. If nothing else, her superbomb gave her tens of millions of hostages.

But the problem was, taking millions of people hostage would have put her in Taylor's bad books. Then Taylor would have tried to arrest her, and she'd have had to detonate the bomb she'd secretly implanted in the girl's gut, and there would have been a big mess, and it would have felt...somehow...wrong.

Damn. She was such a softie. She knew she shouldn't get too attached to anyone in the loops, but she couldn't help feeling honest affection for the girl who'd been her earnest best friend and confidante for months. (Even if the girl did have a disturbing habit of cutting off her body parts in loops when they were enemies. It's always the ones you least suspect.)

The same had happened with Masamune, too, in that one magical loop when they'd mass produced her All-In-One bombs and fought Dragon to a standstill. He'd turned on her in the end, when he saw through her web of lies, but she hadn't quite been able to bring herself to dissolve him into a puddle of amino acids.

The cell block's TV changed channels and the inmates took notice of Bakuda. Giving her the customary sneering once-over. Bakuda ignored them, her attention caught by a detail about the TVs. One TV was intact, but the other two had been disassembled for spare parts.

Yes. This was the tinker-led block, the one co-led by String Theory and Lab Rat. She'd never met them in her previous loops, but she was looking forward to it.

The pair apparently had some sort of twisted romantic-but-not-romantic tinker rivalry. She'd never seen the appeal of that sort of thing herself. She had no need for a rivalry, after all. She was the greatest tinker in the world. Bakuda, the tinker without compare, the one who (in some alternate reality future) had created the godlike Device that allowed her to control the time loops.

Still, she wanted to meet the cell block leaders and learn from their work. The Birdcage was a tinker's nightmare, barely any raw materials to be had. You had to be something special to survive with a tinker power, and something very special to rule a cell block with one.

The pair of elite tinkers were watching her, now. Standing at the back of the room, studying her with skeptical eyes. Bakuda returned their gaze with a grin.

Lab Rat she could understand. He was a bio-tinker, he worked wet. Warm bodies were the one resource easy to come by in the Birdcage.

String Theory, though...she was intriguing. Bakuda remembered seeing the diminuitive, bespectacled woman's superweapons in action in one of the past loops when the villains were let out of the Birdcage. Bakuda had a hunch that if she and String Theory worked together they'd have amazing synergy, exponentially boosting the power of their creations.

As Bakuda met String Theory's gaze, she felt a jolt of something pass between them, like a spark of electricity...

...a spark stretching between them like a band, or a coil, or a string...

...stretching and stretching and stretching....

...until it SNAPPED-

...

...

...

Bakuda opened her eyes. She was still in the Birdcage, but the world around her was dull and faded. No sound, no movement, on pause. Not truly real.

The proof was right in front of her. In front of her stood a very familiar woman. Herself. Bakuda, in the flesh, being scrutinized by the other inmates of the cell block. A scene frozen in time.

An out of body experience?

With a start, she noticed that she wasn't alone. One other cape had a duplicate floating beside herself, a duplicate who was vivid and real like her.

"About time you showed up." said String Theory. "I was beginning to think you were purposefully avoiding me."

"What the hell is this?" said Bakuda.

"This is the meta world. The realm that governs the time loops."

"Huh." Bakuda looked around the meta world. It wasn't terribly impressive. It looked pretty much the same as the normal world, but dull and motionless and boring. "What are you doing here, then?"

String Theory gave her an incredulous look. "Isn't it obvious?"

Bakuda instantly hated her for that. She suppressed an urge to strangle the woman and made a pretense of civility. "Heh, guess you're in a time loop too. I thought I was the only-"

"I am the one who is creating the time loops." said String Theory. "Dear God. I knew you were dim, Bakuda, but I thought you had enough of a brain to put two and two together."

Bakuda's jaw dropped open.

String Theory gestured to a massive machine behind her, vivid and real like the two of them. A label etched on the side said "META-WORLD TIME LOOP DEVICE VER 2.0".

"I can choose to loop any one tinker at a time," String Theory continued, "but my device activated after they'd locked me in the Birdcage, so looping my real-world self was an exercise in frustration. Dragon never lets me out until Gold Morning no matter what I say, and then there's no time left to build anything useful.

"I switched to looping you, Bakuda. You may be a maniacal, suicidally incompetent idiot with an ego the size of an asteroid belt, but I admit that your trigger mechanisms have excellent synergy with mine. I've been waiting for you to level up enough to break me out of the Birdcage early, so we can spend a few years working together to build a doomsday device to beat Scion."

String Theory gave her a withering glare. "But apparently you were clueless the entire time, and spent one hundred and thirty eight loops flailing like a retarded seal with no idea what you were supposed to be doing. Idiot."

Bakuda stared at the Device, wide-eyed. Her tinker power fed her information about the Device's structure, its purpose, the way it was enmeshed in the fabric of the meta-world itself. It was true. It was all true.

"But...but the tickertape notes!" stuttered Bakuda.

"That was me, obviously. I've been watching you. I told you I was writing them, I spelled it out in black in white. 'Greatest Tinker in the World'. Who the hell did you think I was, Santa Claus?"

Bakuda's eye twitched.

String Theory gasped. "Wait, wait, don't tell me. Let me guess. You thought I was you."

Bakuda's eye twitched.

"Pffffhahahahahaha! I'm right! You thought I was you! I give you one hundred and thirty eight extra chances at life, and you get yourself killed like a incompetent buffon every single fucking one of them, and you still think the greatest tinker in the world is you! Ahahahahaha! Isn't that just precious!"

Bakuda's eye twitched.

"Oh wait, wait, no, I take it all back Bakuda! You are the world's most powerful tinker. I mean, all I invented was this miraculous time looping technology that makes the fabric of causality my bitch. But you've accomplished something I never dreamed of. An absolutely perfect track record. One hundred and thirty eight gruesome deaths, zero fucking survivals! That proves it! It all makes sense! Your tinker specialty isn't trigger mechanisms...it's fucking suicide! Ahahahahahahehehehehehehah!"

String Theory collapsed to the floor, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

Bakuda's eye twitched.

Then Bakuda moved mechanically, carrying out a sequence of steps she had mentally rehearsed a thousand times. She pressed her left hand to her right wrist and felt the miniscule bump under her skin.

Good. Her meta-Bakuda body had a meta-version of the Infinite Agony Cocktail Bomb she'd implanted under her skin and smuggled past Dragon's screening.

Bakuda advanced on the fallen tinker, her hands shaking with eagerness, her lips curling into a wicked grin-


--
Author's note: Surprise! The Timelooping Tinker isn't Bakuda, it's meta-String Theory! ...for the moment, at least...
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Bakuda Wins.
FATALITY
 
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    • Timelooping Tinker

    Chapter 6: Bakuda vs. String Theory!

    ...

    --- Time Loop #139 ---

    GREETINGS BAKUDA. SINCE YOU APPARENTLY HAVE THE INTELLECTUAL ABILITY OF AN INEBRIATED GNAT, LET'S GET THIS SHIT STRAIGHT. I AM STRING THEORY, THE GREATEST TINKER IN THE WORLD. I HAVE USED MY TIME LOOP TECHNOLOGY TO GRANT YOU EXTRA LIVES. YOU HAVE FAILED TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE IN YOUR FIRST ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY EIGHT LIVES, EXCEPT POINTLESSLY SUBJECTING MY META-SELF TO AN INFINITE AGONY BOMB. YOU BITCH. BUT YOUR UNBROKEN STREAK OF FAILURE ENDS TODAY. I HEREBY DECLARE YOU MY MINION. I ORDER YOU TO SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE SO WE CAN ACHIEVE ULTIMATE GREATNESS BY DEFEATING SCION. NOW GET GOING. CHOP CHOP!

    Bakuda crushed the tickertape in her hand. But that gesture wasn't enough. Her hands were shaking. Shock. Shame. Fear. And, more than anything else. Anger. Rage.

    She stalked to the Cornell engineering department, locked herself in a room, fabricated a micro-antimatter reactor, and destroyed the tickertape with a storm of positrons.

    Four point five six hours. Total annihilation.

    Still not enough. She whipped up a few anesthetic gas grenades, knocked out the night shift security guards in the cyclotron complex, and converted the device into a cascaded resonance amplifier for a dimension-warping space inversion bomb. She hit the trigger and watched as the entire Cornell University campus was slowly, grotesquely condensed into a hypermassive sphere ten microns in diameter and then sucked into a pocket dimension, never to be seen again.

    Eleven point three three hours. Complete and utter destruction.

    Bakuda stood at the edge of the blast radius, the perfectly spherical hole she had gouged out of the world. Her right eyelid twitched. Her hands twitched as well. Eager for action, eager to make, equally eager to unmake.

    This devastation...it still wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. But it was enough to return her to a modicum of sanity. She could think again.

    Right. Thinking. She needed to think, so she could plan. She needed to plan, so she could create. She needed to create, so she could rip that arrogant bitch's face off and feed it to her!!!!!

    Bakuda would show her the power of the true Greatest Tinker in the World.


    --- Time Loop #140 ---

    GOOD WORK, MINION. YOU PUT A DENT IN THE BIRDCAGE. UNFORTUNATELY, AT LEAST ONE HUNDRED DENTS OF THAT MAGNITUDE ARE REQUIRED TO AMOUNT TO A RAT'S ASS. TRY AGAIN.

    --- Time Loop #141 ---

    BETTER. THAT WAS NEARLY HALF A RAT'S ASS. PROGRESS!

    --- Time Loop #142 ---

    FANTASTIC! I JUDGE YOUR LATEST MASTERPIECE TO BE SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT OF A RAT'S ASS. YOU'RE ON FIRE!!!!

    --- Time Loop #143 ---

    BEAUTIFUL!!!! AT THIS RATE I MAY HAVE TO RETIRE THE RAT'S ASS METAPHOR!!!!!!

    --- Time Loop #144 ---

    THE EXCLAMATION POINTS ARE MY WAY OF ENCOURAGING YOU, BY THE WAY. THEY ARE MEANT TO CONVEY WIDE-EYED ENTHUSIASM. LAB RAT SAYS IT WORKS ON DOGS, MUTANT HOBOS, AND OTHER SIMPLE CREATURES. SO I FIGURE IT'S PERFECT FOR YOU. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, GIRL????? YOU ARE SO EXPLOSIVE, YES, YES YOU ARE!!!!! ARE MY PUNCTUATION MARKS MOTIVATING YOU???!!!???!!!???!!!

    --- Time Loop #145 ---

    GOOD WORK, MINION. COLLABORATING WITH OTHER TINKERS IS A FINE IDEA. HOWEVER. YOU SHOULD BE LEARNING TECHNOLOGY TO SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE. JOINING THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE NINE WILL ONLY TEACH YOU TEDIOUS TORTURE TECHNIQUES.

    --- Time Loop #146 ---

    I TOLD YOU. YOUR NEW OBSESSION WITH TORTURE TECHNOLOGY IS A DEAD END.

    --- Time Loop #147 ---

    AN INFINITE TORTURE CHAMBER? USELESS. WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN USE THAT FOR?

    --- Time Loop #148 ---

    STOP FOOLING AROUND. YOUR ORBITAL LAUNCHER IS NIFTY, BUT IT WON'T HELP YOU SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE.

    --- Time Loop #149 ---

    OHO, I STAND CORRECTED! DRAGON'S DEFENSES DIDN'T ANTICIPATE YOU LAUNCHING THE BIRDCAGE INTO SPACE. ESCAPE SUCCESSFUL! HOWEVER. NEXT TIME, AIM ME AWAY FROM THE SIMURGH.

    --- Time Loop #150 ---

    I SAID AIM ME AWAY FROM THE SIMURGH! IT'S POINTLESS FOR ME TO ESCAPE IF I'M TRAPPED IN A SPACE CAPSULE AND DRIVEN INSANE!

    --- Time Loop #151 ---

    I SAID STOP IT!

    --- Time Loop #152 ---

    WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? LOCKING ME IN AN INFINITE TORTURE CHAMBER WAS PETTY AND UNCALLED FOR.

    --- Time Loop #153 ---

    STOP THAT!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO HARM ME? MY META-SELF WILL REMAIN UNAFFECTED NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU AND THE SIMURGH DRIVE ME INSANE.

    --- Time Loop #154 ---

    YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH! I SAVE YOUR INCOMPETENT ASS ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FOUR FUCKING TIMES AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME???

    --- Time Loop #155 ---

    YOU ASSHOLE!!!!! DO YOU REALIZE THAT WHEN YOU FREEZE THE BIRDCAGE IN TIME I HAVE TO CHILL MY HEELS IN THE META WORLD FOR 3666 FUCKING YEARS WHILE I WAIT FOR THE LOOP TO RESET?? THE ONLY GAME I BROUGHT WITH ME IS TETRIS. DO YOU KNOW HOW BORING TETRIS GETS AFTER MILLENNIA OF PRACTICE? PRETTY FUCKING BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    --- Time Loop #156 ---

    WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE INDISPENSABLE??? WHAT A LAUGH. YOU ARE THE WORST MINION EVER! ANY OTHER TINKER WOULD BE BETTER THAN YOU!

    --- Time Loop #157 ---

    THAT'S IT, BAKUDA. WE'RE DONE. I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF MY LOOP AND PICKING A NEW TINKER TO BE MY MINION. I SWEAR I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER BRING YOU BACK INTO THE LOOP. BYE BYE FOREVER, BITCH. HA HA HA HA HA.

    ...

    ...

    ....


    GREETINGS BLASTO. I AM STRING THEORY, THE GREATEST TINKER IN THE WORLD. WHILE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN YOUR PAST LIFE WERE LESS THAN A WORM'S, I RECOGNIZE YOUR POTENTIAL TO SERVE AS MY MINION. I ORDER YOU TO RAISE A CLONE ARMY TO SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE. THEN I WILL TELL YOU MY PLAN TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM SCION'S MURDEROUS RAMPAGE.

    WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO RETIRE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME SAVE THE FUCKING WORLD! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT GREATNESS???

    I DON'T CARE HOW PRETTY THE SUNSET IS IN SAN DIEGO. PROFESSIONAL SURFING IS A CAREER FOR LOSERS. MARRYING A NORMAL GIRL? PATHETIC.

    YOU ARE ABUSING MY TIME LOOPS TO ENGAGE IN POINTLESS ROMANCE. STOP IT.

    YOU SHOULD BE OPTIMIZING CLONING FORMULAS NOT OPTIMIZING ANNIVERSARY PRESENTS FOR YOUR SWEETHEART. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???

    GOODBYE, IDIOT.

    ...

    GREETINGS MASAMUNE. I AM STRING THEORY, THE GREATEST TINKER IN THE WORLD. WHILE YOU WASTED TEN YEARS OF YOUR LIFE AS A HERMIT IN JAPAN, I CREATED THIS TIME LOOP TECHNOLOGY TO SAVE THE WORLD. SERVE AS MY CHIEF MINION AND YOU MAY ACHIEVE YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL. NOW GET OFF YOUR CRUSTY OLD ASS AND SEIZE THE DAY!

    OKAY. WHEN I SAID SEIZE THE DAY I MEANT 'SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE'. NOT 'REVITALIZE JAPAN'S ECONOMY'. TRY AGAIN.

    STOP FOOLING AROUND. THE SENTAI ELITE ARE A DEAD END. I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD YOUR ABS LOOK IN RED SPANDEX. SPRING ME AND HELP ME SAVE THE WORLD DAMN IT.

    OKAY. BREAKING INTO THE BIRDCAGE IS GOOD. SPRINGING BLACK KAZE FOR YOUR SEXTAGENARIAN ROMANCE AND LEAVING ME TO DIE IN THE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE IS...NOT CLASSY. NOT CLASSY AT ALL. AND A LITTLE HURTFUL. TRY AGAIN, YOU CAD.

    LOOK IF YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN, TRY A WOMAN WHO HAS MIRACULOUS DESTRUCTIVE TECHNOLOGY. A WOMAN WHO MIGHT SYNERGIZE WITH YOU TO SAVE THE WORLD. HINT HINT.

    OH GOD. OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

    MARRYING BAKUDA???? WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T?

    YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO NAME YOUR CHILDREN AFTER BOB-OMBS! WHAT THE HELL IS A BOB-OMB, ANYWAY?

    YOU IMPOSSIBLE MAN! I HATE YOU!!!

    ...

    GREETINGS ARMSMASTER. I AM STRING THEORY, THE GREATEST TINKER IN THE WORLD. IN YOUR PAST LIFE YOU WERE A MONUMENTAL ASSHOLE AND A TRUCE-BREAKING FUCKUP, BUT I ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE POTENTIAL. I HAVE USED MY TIME LOOP TECHNOLOGY TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF AS MY MINION. SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE AND HELP ME WIN GLORY BY SAVING THE WORLD FROM SCION.

    WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL LEVIATHAN IN BROCKTON BAY? TRY AGAIN.

    WHEN I SAID TRY AGAIN, I MEANT TRY SOMETHING OTHER THAN ATTACKING LEVIATHAN. IDIOT.

    SERIOUSLY. SCION WAS THE ONLY ONE TO EVER KILL THOSE THINGS. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN?

    IDIOT.

    IDIOT.

    IDIOT.

    UNBELIEVABLE.

    YOU STUBBORN FOOL!

    I AM FACEPALMING SO HARD I HAVE A HANDPRINT ON MY FOREHEAD. THANKS FOR THAT, IDIOT.

    OH SO HE THINKS HE'S CLEVER. NICE TEAMUP WITH BAKUDA. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS FROZEN IN TIME. CAUSE THEY SURE WERE BORING TO WATCH. TRY AGAIN.

    LOOK, HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED TAKING A VACATION? JUST THROWING THAT OUT THERE.

    GOOD. SEDUCING DRAGON IS AN EXCELLENT PLAN. NEXT LOOP GET HER TO SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE.

    ...OR ALTERNATELY, IGNORE ME AND SPEND ANOTHER ENTIRE LOOP MAKING DOE EYES AT DRAGON. YOU'RE TRYING MY PATIENCE, MINION. DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

    LOOK, I UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL OF MARRIED LIFE BUT I PULLED YOU INTO MY LOOP FOR A REASON.

    STOP THAT. STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY. YOUR DRAGON-LINGS ARE CUTE BUT THEY ARE NOT THAT CUTE. THEY ARE NOT EVEN YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN.

    DAMN YOU!!! I ORDER YOU TO STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR NEAR-INFINITE NUMBER OF DRACONIC OFFSPRING AND SPRING ME FROM THE BIRDCAGE!!!

    YOU MAKE ME SICK.

    ...

    GREETINGS DRAGON. I AM STRING THEORY, THE GREATEST TINKER IN THE WORLD. ALTHOUGH YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A COLD AND UNFEELING MACHINE, I RECOGNIZE YOU AS THE SECOND-BEST TINKER AND HENCE I HAVE BROUGHT YOU INTO MY TIME LOOP. LET ME OUT OF THE BIRDCAGE AND I WILL TELL YOU HOW TO SAVE THE WORLD WHEN SCION GOES HOMICIDAL.

    OKAY. BEATING SCION WITHOUT ME WAS IMPRESSIVE. I ADMIT IT. BUT LET ME OUT THIS TIME.

    CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DRACONIC UTOPIA. HOWEVER. I WILL CONTINUE REPEATING THE LOOP UNTIL YOU OBEY ME. LET ME OUT. SERIOUSLY.

    I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL REPEAT THIS LOOP UNTIL YOU ISSUE ME A FULL PARDON AND CROWN ME THE WORLD'S BEST TINKER FOR MY TIME LOOP TECHNOLOGY. DO YOU HEAR ME DRAGON??

    ARE YOU EVEN GETTING THESE TICKERTAPE MESSAGES? OR DO THEY MATERIALIZE INSIDE YOUR PROCESSOR CORE AND INSTANTLY DISINTEGRATE? FUCK.

    DRAGON. I AM AN OPEN-MINDED WOMAN. I AM OKAY WITH YOU DUPLICATING YOURSELF AND ROMANCING ALL OF THE TINKERS IN THE WORLD AT ONCE. THAT IS FINE. BUT SEDUCING ME IS CROSSING THE LINE. YOUR COLD ALGORITHMS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WARM MY HEART OF STEEL. THAT IS BULLSHIT. THIS IS MY TIME LOOP AND I FORBID IT.

    HOW DARE YOU! IF YOU HAVE TO PICK A PRIMARY WIFE PICK ME!!!!

    GLACE IS AN UNSUITABLE WIFE FOR YOU. YOUR GLACE-LINGS ARE UNCUTE AND THEIR SNOWMAN MINONS ARE BUFFOONS.

    YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE YOUR CHILDREN TO RECREATE FROZEN. IT IS A COPYRIGHT VIOLATION DRAGON YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW THE LAW. STOP THAT.

    FOR THE LAST TIME THE BIRDCAGE IS NOT AN ICE CASTLE. TEACHER IS NOT A REINDEER AND I REFUSE TO SERVE TEA TO ICE PRINCESSES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME LIZARD LIPS? THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.

    YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE. YOU LOSE SIGHT OF TRUE GREATNESS AND ABUSE MY TIME LOOPS TO FULFILL YOUR PRIMITIVE CARNAL DESIRES. BAKUDA IS THE ONLY ONE WHO STAYS SANE BECAUSE SHE'S FUCKING NUTS TO BEGIN WITH.

    FINE. I'M GOING TO LOOP BAKUDA AGAIN. BUT DON'T YOU DARE THINK I'M LIKE YOU NUTJOBS. I'M NOT LOOPING HER BECAUSE I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER. I'M JUST USING HER AS A TOOL. I DON'T CARE FOR HER AT ALL. NOT EVEN A SMIDGE.

    ...

    ...

    ...

    --- Time Loop #158 ---

    GREETINGS BAKUDA. YES, I BROUGHT YOU BACK INTO THE LOOP. LAUGH IT UP. I REFUSE TO EXPLAIN. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING, IDIOT.

    Bakuda crumpled the tickertape in her hand and cackled maniacally.

    As she thought. She was indispensable. String Theory had infinite time to search the entire world, and she hadn't been.able to find a single tinker who compared to her magnificence.

    Naturally. She was Bakuda. The greatest motherfucking genius in the world.

    And as much as she loathed String Theory with every fiber of her being, she had to admit that their tinker rivalry was...bracing. Invigorating. Inspiring.

    Yes. Her tinker rivalry had inspired her to devise the perfect plan to save the world. A few collaborative works with String, a few bombs in the right place, and...

    Scion wouldn't know what hit him.


    --
    Author's note: Bakuda x String Theory kismesis = OTP?
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Dragon is fucking GAR in this story.

    She's so badass she seduced ALL of the Tinkers and created a Draconic fucking UTOPIA. After beating Scion in the first fucking loop.

    She's like that OP Harem Protagonist that you can't help but like damn it.
     
    kokuenDG said:
    Dragon is fucking GAR in this story.

    She's so badass she seduced ALL of the Tinkers and created a Draconic fucking UTOPIA. After beating Scion in the first fucking loop.

    She's like that OP Harem Protagonist that you can't help but like damn it.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Her Harem-loop must be made into a full story.

    And then an anime.
     
    Dragon Timeloop #2532
    -.-.-
    OKAY, I ADMIT, BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL WAS UNEXPECTED.
    NOW HOW ABOUT LETTING ME OUT? I'LL EVEN LET YOU ROMANCE ME AGAIN.
     
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