- Location
- Elsewhere
"No! You ruined the Protheans for me, I get these ones!"
Some people will go to extreme lengths to get out of an awkward conversation.
Til I Change Your Mind (Mass Effect Krogan SI)
- Thread starter Stratagemini
- Start date
"No! You ruined the Protheans for me, I get these ones!"
Some people will go to extreme lengths to get out of an awkward conversation.
Jamie Roberts
Hávamál 127
- Location
- N/A
- Pronouns
- she/her
Shepard started describing the theological ramifications of Krell's calendar, and Saren decided that he couldn't live with this kind of information.
This had me laughing so hard it was physically painful lol
Not_Interesting
The Munchkin of Megastructures
- Location
- In your walls(the walls between realities)
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Shame, had Krell pegged as a card-carrying member of the NRA(National Ray-Gun Association). Helping all Mad Scientists retain the right to bear doomsday devices, no Mad Scientist in the wrong state of mind would leave home without concealed carry weaponized Anthrax(for Duck Hunting).
Vicjer
The One Who Knows Less Than Nothing
- Location
- The Space Between Spaces
This logic is flawed... and yet I can't help but endorse it anyway. Truly wise words.
"Greater love hath no Krogan than this, that a Krogan share his victory with those he has defeated." - Krogan Jesus, probably.
- Location
- Utah, salt lake city
Excellent fic so far! I like the setup for the SI and how he is thinking out things despite being krogan.
- Location
- nz
Huh, Krogan Jesus faked his death like human Jesus?
But it got immediately figured out i.e. three days later.
He's definitely getting canonized once people find out he's also a prophet.
This timelines version of Christianity is gonna end up being the weirdest.
But it got immediately figured out i.e. three days later.
He's definitely getting canonized once people find out he's also a prophet.
This timelines version of Christianity is gonna end up being the weirdest.
Jamie Roberts
Hávamál 127
- Location
- N/A
- Pronouns
- she/her
Huh, Krogan Jesus faked his death like human Jesus?
But it got immediately figured out i.e. three days later.
He's definitely getting canonized once people find out he's also a prophet.
This timelines version of Christianity is gonna end up being the weirdest.
More compliant with Islamic theology, really. They're the religion who say Jesus faked his death, Christians generally hold that it was a legitimate resurrection.
CHAPTER 6: My Evil Plan to Save the World
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
CHAPTER 6: My Evil Plan to Save the World
2183 CE
I was off the Normandy, but Tali, Liara, and Garrus stayed on a little longer. Shepard was called immediately after the Awards ceremony to help out Terra Nova. I didn't really pay attention to how that turned out. Instead I sat down in my apartment to try and figure out what to do until Shepard comes back to life.
I'd told her, in private after the ceremony. Turns out when you save the Council even the Krogan get medals; take that Chewbacca! Anyway, I told her what I remembered. Collectors blow up the Normandy, it happens in the Terminus, it's an ice planet, there's a large green or orange planet nearby, and the name is Al-something or other. I also told her that the Collectors were hunting her specifically, and I know she can be revived if she dies there, but I'm not so sure about anywhere else. She asked if the crew made it out. I told her that Joker did, thanks to her; as did Liara. But Pressley definitely dies as do several others.
Shepard pondered it for a while, before coming to a conclusion. She told me that she had orders and she had to follow them but thanked me for the heads up. I told her to make sure to save Joker and my granddaughter's asses, that we'd need them for the next big fight. Then I told her I'd see her again in two years.
_______________
2183 CE
A month after the battle of the Citadel, I still hadn't figured out what to do about my newfound free-time. Which wasn't to say that I was doing nothing. I was going back and reciting all my papers on the Protheans, reapers, and indoctrinating theory, but now with Commander Shepard as the cited source of all the information.
Liara was absolutely livid at me.
Still, it needed to be done. And anyway, technically I cited it to the Prothean beacon as related to me by Commander Shepard. So really it wasn't that bad since the original source was the same anyway. What's a little academic dishonesty between friends when you're trying to save the Galaxy?
Liara stopped speaking to me for a week. Even temporarily blocked my emails.
I also wrote all new papers on Indoctrination theory, and the existence of the Prothean cipher. Since the council hadn't ordered me to keep quiet, and the Human military didn't actually control what I did and couldn't order me to zip it, and the Krogan government basically didn't exist, these were as much narrative military reports about my missions with Commander Shepard as anything else; with massive footnotes explaining the exact circumstances by which I came by each bit of information, including a thorough analysis of the husks and the Geth. This included after notes with theories about the implications of dragon's teeth, and all the other little bits of reaper tech lying around. It also included links to my paper on Vigil's Indoctrination detecting software, as well as links to the same.
I had them edited together and released as a non-fiction adventure novel. The publisher's store crashed three times from too many people trying to order it. On the third day, the site went down completely, only returning to the Extranet without my book for sale.
This only made demand skyrocket even higher.
Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to manage to keep the damned thing hosted up. Even the intrepid book pirates couldn't manage it. I sold several million copies before things came crashing down though, so I'm hopeful that the information will at least pass along through word of mouth.
_______________________________
2183 CE
It was three days after I had given up on selling my book that I got news of Commander Shepard's death.
'Did you know about this?' Liara accused me over email.
'With strange eons, even death may die.' was my response.
I'm pretty sure she understood what I was hinting at. Probably.
Like, 30% sure at least.
I probably shouldn't stay at any locations she knows about though, just to be safe.
I think I need to talk to Wrex and Morda about the Andromeda Initiative.
_______
2184 CE - Eden Prime War officially ends. Raloi discover Asari. Alliance first encounters Vorcha. Collectors begin harvesting Alliance worlds to create new Reaper.
'Did you know Shepard was gonna die?' Wrex asked as I jumped into his Tomkah.
'I told her ahead of time. She's only mostly dead. She got sucked out an airlock in a depressurized suit and then made an atmospheric reentry onto an ice planet. Smaller than Tuchanka, with thinner atmosphere.' I explained.
'Huh. She's a tough one if she survived all that.' Wrex remarked.
'She needs surgery and like a year or two of cutting edge medical treatment before she gets better, but once she does she'll have these glowing scars beneath the skin of her face.' I continued.
'Ah, no wonder she decided to stay the course. She'll be able to get any lover she wants, Krogan or Human!' Wrex chuckled.
'Which is why I'm gonna join her on her ship once she gets back to fighting fit.' I agreed.
'You sure it's not all those amazing fights she finds? Still can't believe you got to fight in an elevator like that.'
'Of course it's the fights, Wrex. But if I can make sure Shepard's attention doesn't stray in the meantime and ensure my daughter's happiness in the process...' I trailed off.
'It's like bombing a fuel depot.' Wrex agreed.
It took several hours, but eventually we managed to rendezvous with Morda.
________________
2184 CE
Morda liked the Andromeda initiative idea. Wrex didn't. I told them both some highlights.
Morda got the story of Alec Ryder and his kids. She also got a short summary of the Kett, the Scourge, and the Remnant. I mentioned the Angara as well as the fate of the Keelah Si'yah, the Quarian Arc. Finally I spoke of the Nexus Uprising and the treachery of Jarun Tann.
I don't know if Morda believes me, but at least she knows.
Wrex got something far more interesting. First, I handed him copies of all my papers on the Reapers, as well as all my Binary Helix data that I stole in Peak 15 but still hadn't actually gotten around to sorting through yet. You know how it is.
Then, I told them the backstory of Maelon Heplorn and the Salarian sabotage of the Shroud.
'I have a plan for how to cure it. There's one guy in particular I absolutely know can do it. I'll be working on it. Don't approach the Shroud till then. Don't try to cure it yourself unless you can manage the needed stealth. We don't wanna tip the Salarians off before there's enough political pressure to force them to let us be cured. So keep quiet about all this and don't tell anyone, understand? No one.' I warned.
Wrex nodded.
'If the Genophage is to be cured through science it needs to be cured through the Shroud.' I explained.
'Through science...' Morda noted.
'Maelon's story tells us something useful. We can evolve past the Genophage as long as the Salarians aren't there to stop it. Just make sure you keep control of any Remnant tech on New Tuchanka.' I agreed.
'Anyway, we're going to need Maelon's data. I'll work on getting it my way, but Wrex? Unless you have a Genophage cure in your pocket, you're gonna want to secure a copy another way. Maybe send in a nice promising scientist who knows to get the fuck out once the place is attacked?'
Wrex smiled knowingly at me.
'Nah. No Genophage cure here. I didn't manage to get the data off of Virmire.' he replied.
I wasn't sure what to make of that at all, but with that meeting settled and Wrex and Morda both warned, I was free to make my plans.
___________
2184 CE
I didn't want to stick around on Omega. ME2 opens with a plague. I'm not a big fan of that. Presents an unnecessary risk. Unfortunately that means helping Garrus and Mordin were both out of the question.
Liara was doing her own thing. She had my email if she needed it.
Tali was a big bad agent of the Quarian fleet now. Helping her now wouldn't help her in the long run. She needed the experience, and the respect. She'd emailed me asking if I knew Shepard was going to die. I told her that Shepard was aware, and that Liara was fixing the problem.
Ashley was busy the Alliance. Horizon, I think. Didn't even get an email from her.
I wasn't about to join Cerberus to follow my old friends, yet.
That just left one person unaccounted for.
'Kaidan! Old buddy! Old pal!'
The terror in Kaidan's eyes as he threw me through his coffee table told me that all the effort I'd spent to sneak into his apartment and hide for hours in the dark until he came home were totally worth it.
'Krell! What the hell is the matter with you!'
'With me? You're the one that keeps attacking me every time you see me! I'm not the problem here.' I lied.
'What the hell do you want, Krell?'
'You owe me a new shuttle.'
'I already told you, I can't afford a new shuttle right now! It'll have to wait a few years! I thought Krogan were supposed to be patient.' Kaidan replied, exhasperated.
'Yeah, I thought about that, and then I realized, we can kill one Salarian by throwing the other at them.'
'That's not a saying. You're definitely making that up.' Kaidan declared.
'Of course it's not a saying. It's incredibly hard! Salarians aren't aerodynamic at all, and they flail the entire time. You've gotta pick them up just above the hips and-'
Kaidan had the nerve to cut me off. 'Are you trying to teach me how to kill Salarians? Because I'm not anywhere near as strong as a Krogan. I can't lift something that size!'
'Size matters not! Look at me. Judge me by my size do you?' I quoted.
'I- How do I even answer that?' Kaidan asked as I pull myself out of the remnants of his coffee table.
'You can grab 'em with your biotics. Now take notes, kid. This is useful stuff.'
'It really isn't. Is this really why you broke into my apartment and scared the crap out of me? To teach me how to kill Salarians less efficiently?' Kaidan asked, confused.
'It's more efficiently! You kill one Salarian with another, you double your efficiency!' I corrected.
'That's not the point I'm making, Krell.'
'Fine. You're on paid leave, and you owe me a shuttle. I know where a shuttle is but I need a Biotic to get me in. You help me with this heist, and I'll write off your debt.'
'What is this, a gangster movie? A heist? Are you really serious, Krell?'
'Deadly.' I reply.
'Why should I help you?' Alenko asked.
'You mean, besides your appreciation for the fact that I saved your life, your broken promise to me, the fact that you wrecked my last shuttle, and the fact that there is a heavily armed and increasingly upset Krogan in your living room telling you to do something?'
'All of those are extremely good reasons, but yes, I did want some motivation beyond that.'
'The shuttle currently belongs to The Blue Suns; and the jerks we're stealing from are the same guys who tried to give Shepard's body to the collectors.'
'The Blue Suns?' Kaidan asked.
'Wait, Shepard's body?' Kaidan replied a second later as his brain finally caught up with him.
'Well, Shepard herself, maybe? She's only mostly dead. Not sure you humans have a word for that like Krogan do. Liara's given it to Cerberus to revive her.'
Kaidan blinked. 'Krell, you're joking right? This is serious. Cerberus are really bad guys! We can't just leave them with Shepard's body! All their experiments are insane and catastrophic! They tried to control those weird husks! Then the weird husks got loose and killed all their scientists!'
'Those were Thorian Creepers. We figured it out on Feros. They also tried to control the Rachni, who then got loose and killed all their scientists. And thresher maws, which did the same.' I explained.
'So then why would giving Shepard's body to Cerberus ever be a good idea!?'
'You really should calm down, kid. This can't be good for your blood pressure.' I soothed.
'That's not an answer to my question, Krell.' Kaidan observed, gritting his teeth.
'Right, so far here's what you established; every time Cerberus has a secret project trying to control something, that thing then breaks free, and slaughters all their scientists. If Cerberus has a secret project to control Shepard...'
'You can't be serious about taking those odds, Krell!' Kaidan asked, severely misjudging me.
'I definitely am. Anyway, I'm not gonna let the kid travel around the Galaxy without me. She's interesting. I'll be sure to keep an eye on her. Make sure she's the real deal and not that clone they're working on.'
'Clone!'
'Calm down, kid. You're gonna give me anxiety just looking at you. Are you gonna help me steal this shuttle from the Blue Suns or not?'
The answer, apparently, as 'Not.'
_________
2184 CE
I sent Tali a letter telling her to be on a lookout for Shepard sometime next year. I told her that I had reliable evidence that Shepard was recovering from severe injuries and would be recovered by then. This was technically true, if you thought of death as a 'severe injury.'
Tali asked about the rest of the Normandy crew. I told her I didn't know, but I thought Joker and Chakwas got out, and I knew Liara was safe too. I also praised Shepard's intuition and how she'd probably had a gut feeling it was coming.
I think Tali understood the subtext. She was much more observant than Liara, after all.
_________
2184 CE
I honestly did not expect Hackett to find Peebee, much less to be able to send her my way, but lo and behold, he managed it. Pelessaria B'Sayle a.k.a. Peebee, stands at my door.
'Peebee?' I ask, just to make sure.
'Professor Krell?' Peebee asks in return.
That's me.' I nodded.
'I was told you needed to see me and that it was a matter of galactic security? I'm not sure if this is more like 'We Meet Again, Doctor Fear' or 'Krantt Hardly Wait'?' Peebee asked.
I couldn't help but laugh at the comparison.
'Hah! A little of both, I think. Though the roles in Krantt Hardly Wait would be reversed. There was a matter of galactic security, but it was resolved. With that said, there's a second matter of galactic security I think that you could help with.' I decided.
'Alright, old man. If you say so.' Peebee stated skeptically.
'So, not to panic you or anything, but the attack on the Citadel wasn't just the Geth. It also included the sentient synthetic race that wiped out the Protheans; the Reapers. Sovereign was a Reaper ship. Also a Reaper. There isn't really a distinction between the two because synthetics are weird.' I explained offhandedly.
'Okay.' Peebee nodded. She was with me so far.
'Sometime after the Andromeda mission leaves, in about two years give or take a few months, an army of ships like Sovereign will invade and start killing everyone in the Milky Way.' I continued, blithely.
'Has anyone ever told you that you are literally the worst at not panicking people and at breaking bad news? Because you are. You're literally the worst.' Peebee replied, with an underlying note of panic.
'The good news, is that the Reapers do not care about Andromeda at all!' I replied.
'I know this format. This is a human meme format! You're doing a human meme! And in the meme the bad news is always--'
'The bad news, is that the Kett do.' I finished.
'Terrifyingly bad.' Peebee finished at the same time.
'That wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be?' Peebee confessed once I was done.
I looked at her, wondering why. I was actually kind of impressed. Maybe she was braver than I thought?
'What are the Kett?'
Oh. That explains it then.
'We'll get to that. But first, I want to talk about what you're going to encounter in Andromeda.'
'Doesn't that include the Kett?' Peebee asked, trying to use logic.
'Yes. Anyway. There's this really cool thing going on there. It's like if the Protheans built giant terraforming structures. They're technically still alive today? They're called the Remnant. They won't be alive when you get there, but their structures will! All kinds of neat robots and cool tech all wrapped up in an archeological enigma that literally no one else has studied!' I revealed.
Peebee stared at me. 'And?'
I narrowed my eyes at her. 'You know given how enthusiastic you will be after seeing it I sort of assumed that telling you about it would spark something, at least.' I admitted.
'What can I say? I'm a simple maiden with simple needs?' Peebee declared.
'You know what? I think I'll just give you the same data package I gave to Morda and my son.' I decided.
'You have a son? But I thought all Krogans were impotent and couldn't get their dicks up without Asari help?' Peebee asked, shocked. Or perhaps feigning shock.
I stared at her. 'You know, if you told that joke to any other Krogan besides me you'd probably have lost your head by now.'
'Joke?' Peebee asked, confused.
'What the hell is wrong with the Asari education system?' I wondered, desperately.
'Oh! I know the answer to that one! The Council of Matriarchs says it's immature maidens who don't take learning seriously! I wrote something like that on my essay for history of education, and I got a really good grade!' Peebee admitted.
'It really sounds like the issue there is the Council of Matriarchs, actually.' I admitted.
I started to pace.
'Okay, let's do a broad overview. You, Peebee, are currently dating a sociopath called ... Something or other. Very Asari sounding. She sucks and is a jerk. You should dump her.' I explain.
'Hey! I don't tell you who to date!' Peebee protested.
'I'm almost certain that's due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of willingness.' I respond.
'Oh! I know this nice matron who's about your age that's still single! She has a thing for Krogan.' Peebee immediately decided.
'First, I don't date Asari anymore. The last time I tried My ex-wife tried to blow me up on a space station and crash the whole thing into a sun. Second, I'm over 2,000 years old. There are no Asari in the entire universe that are about my age.'
'Maybe you shouldn't have divorced her, then? Some Asari can be really clingy.' Peebee helpfully suggested.
'I didn't. She became my ex when I blew up the space station with her on it.' I admitted.
'Oh! Were you also on the space station? Because honestly, that's kind of hot and romantic at the same time.' Peebee admitted.
'No. I was in a space ship. It's a bad idea to blow up a space station while you are currently inside it.' I attempted to impart.
'But much less cool! Think of all the running from slow but inevitable death you get to do!' Peebee countered.
'That's why you like remtech!? The vault purge sequence where you have to run for your life from a slow but inevitable force field that will kill you the instant it touches you!?' I realized. If I were still human, I would probably describe my emotions as some strange mixture of shock, horror, awe, and fascination. But as a Krogan I had a much more efficient collection of emotions so mostly I was just feeling the main two, anger and confusion.
'Oooh! Something like that actually exists in real life!? Sign me up!' Peebee decided.
'You're already signed up to go to Andromeda. I pulled strings to get you woken in the first batch as a xenotech and first contact specialist.' I admitted.
'I'm definitely none of those things!' Peebee asserted, amused.
'Not yet. But you will be. You will be.' I agreed.
'Ooh! That was ominous! Great job!' Peebee grinned.
'Thanks. I wanted a nice blend of ominous and reassuring.' I explained.
'You definitely failed, then. That was the most ominous thing I've ever heard. Not reassuring at all!'
I frowned. 'How about if I do it like this? You will be. You will be...'
'Less ominous, but you definitely don't have reassuring down at all. Maybe more like this? Don't worry, you will be! You will be...'
'That's good. But there's too much tonal whiplash shifting from the first sentence to the second. I want a smooth consistent blend. I'll have to workshop it.'
'Yeah, it definitely needs work!' Peebee agreed, much too readily.
'Anyway. Big picture. You get to Andromeda okay, but in the time between now and then there's this big thing released called 'The Scourge' that hunts down and destroys Remtech. It's like this sort of static energy in space. It looks really weird. I have a drawing I made of it.' I explain, retrieving the visual aid I made for this purpose.'
'That looks like some sort of weird blend between lightning, snowflakes, and literal holes in the paper. How does it hunt down anything?' Peebee insults my artwork.
'Very slowly.' I replied.
She still looked confused, so I clarified. 'It's more of an environmental hazard than an enemy. You can find it on planets, but there's also an awful lot of it out in space.'
'So... Try not to run into it?' Peebee asked.
'Yes. Try not to run into it. It will kill you.'
Her eyes lit up, sparkling with delight.
'Then there are the Kett. They're a weird alien race that forcibly convert other beings into Kett by altering their genetics for as yet unknown religious reasons. They will also try and kill you.' I explained.
Peebee began to smile.
'Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to join a small elite team to research this unknown but extremely dangerous alien technology, fight and liberate the Heleus cluster from a barely understood evil alien race, and team up with a cybernetically advanced but really pretty Human who is probably into you to do it. All while getting to annoy another human who is way too into Asari Huntresses.'
'Oh wow! Sign me up! This is going to be just like Bloody Mary!' Peebee grinned.
'Bloody Mary?' I asked.
'It's a girl-power vampire buddy comedy flick. Just came out. You should watch it!' Peebee urged.
'I'll... put it on my list.' I agreed.
'Awesome! Is that all?'
'Don't you want to know how to defeat them? Or to end the Scourge? Or anything about what will happen or what you're up against?' I asked, confused.
'No way! That would ruin all the fun!' Peebee protested.
'Huh.' I replied.
'So yeah, old man. Is that all?'
'Yeah. That's all. Oh. Wait. One more thing. You're going to be traveling with my son. Nackmor Drack. Tell him I love him, okay?'
'Sure thing, Old man!' she grinned.
Beebee practically danced out the door. 'Whooo! This is great! A whole new galaxy to explore and it's definitely full of adventure! They have actual slow moving inevitable walls of death! This is the best day ever! I need to tell my mom! Oh! And break up with Kalindra. Can't be taken when there are hot human cyborgs around to bang!' Peebee gushed as she rushed out the door.
I rested my face in my palm.
'Well... I guess that could have gone worse?' I admitted.
'I'm just not quite sure how...' I finished up the thought.
Several hours later, I realized my mistake.
'Damn it! I forgot to give her the data packet!'
_________
2185 CE
'Damn it, Krell! You can't keep hiding in my apartment in the dark waiting for me to get home!'
'A wealth of evidence shows otherwise, kid.'
'You're not gonna pay me for any of the coffee tables you made me destroy, are you?'
'Why should I? You destroyed them. Besides, you learned a very valuable lesson in friendship, so really I should be charging you.'
'Friendship?'
'Friends don't use friends as projectiles.'
'Touche.' Kaidan admitted.
The human took a deep breath.
'Alright Krell, what undeserving group of shuttle owners do you want me to help you steal from this week?'
'This one's special, kid. This one I know you'll wanna help me on.'
'You said that one the last 5 shuttles you've proposed. Including the one you wanted to steal from that Salarian Orphanage.'
'I told you kid, that was an STG front.' I know he didn't believe me, but he could have at least pretended to humor me. Besides, the orphanage was way too well funded to not be STG. They could afford to lose a shuttle.
'You definitely told me that, and it definitely wasn't.' Kaidan denied.
'You don't know that for sure. Those Salarians are tricky.' I insisted.
'Who's your target this time, Wrex? Not another Terminus warlord, I hope?'
'What? Never heard of 'em. No, this time, we're going after some real pieces of work. Just, like, real jerks.'
'Oh god, It's another orphanage again, isn't it.' Kaidan asked, horrified.
'Like I said! They definitely weren't orphans.' I replied.
'Krell, are you ever going to take these conversations seriously?'
'Of course.' I lied.
The neat thing about Humans was that you could lie to them, and as long as they knew the truth, and knew that you also knew the truth and that you knew that they knew the truth as well, they'd take the lie as an inside joke instead. That's not something you can do with Krogan, but it definitely makes bantering with Humans a lot more fun.
Kaidan took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
'Who are you telling me to steal from this time, Krell?' Kaidan finally asked.
'Some real bad dudes. Even you think they're completely irredeemable!' I gloated.
'Who is it, Krell?' Kaidan asked with a hint of impatience.
'It's a pack of remorseless irredeemable killers. It's Cerberus. The same unit that has Shepard. I just got word they docked on Omega. All we need to do is steal their shuttle and get out. It'll be the perfect crime. No complications, I promise.'
This was definitely a lie, and Kaidan definitely didn't know the truth, but the other neat thing about humans? They loved harmless pranks.
_______________________
Author's Note:
Hiatus over. I'm at 97.5k words and finished with ME2 but for the interregnum between it and 3 (which includes Arrival, but Krell's not part of that since Shepard does it alone). ME3 is fully plotted out and my writing will probably be split between that and some additional scenes for Companions I neglected a bit the first time through, like Thane, who got a total of 0 scenes and dialogue because I literally forgot he existed. I need to fix that so I'm going to add a few scenes for him, Samara, and some others.
ME3 is a wild ride as plotted. I'm going to be focusing a bit on those scanning missions. It's all well and nice to say 'Shepard picked up such and such artifact from Reaper controlled space' but some of those missions actually sound like they have some really cool potential, so I'll be digging into some of them.
Anyway, ME2 starts next chapter.
2183 CE
I was off the Normandy, but Tali, Liara, and Garrus stayed on a little longer. Shepard was called immediately after the Awards ceremony to help out Terra Nova. I didn't really pay attention to how that turned out. Instead I sat down in my apartment to try and figure out what to do until Shepard comes back to life.
I'd told her, in private after the ceremony. Turns out when you save the Council even the Krogan get medals; take that Chewbacca! Anyway, I told her what I remembered. Collectors blow up the Normandy, it happens in the Terminus, it's an ice planet, there's a large green or orange planet nearby, and the name is Al-something or other. I also told her that the Collectors were hunting her specifically, and I know she can be revived if she dies there, but I'm not so sure about anywhere else. She asked if the crew made it out. I told her that Joker did, thanks to her; as did Liara. But Pressley definitely dies as do several others.
Shepard pondered it for a while, before coming to a conclusion. She told me that she had orders and she had to follow them but thanked me for the heads up. I told her to make sure to save Joker and my granddaughter's asses, that we'd need them for the next big fight. Then I told her I'd see her again in two years.
_______________
2183 CE
A month after the battle of the Citadel, I still hadn't figured out what to do about my newfound free-time. Which wasn't to say that I was doing nothing. I was going back and reciting all my papers on the Protheans, reapers, and indoctrinating theory, but now with Commander Shepard as the cited source of all the information.
Liara was absolutely livid at me.
Still, it needed to be done. And anyway, technically I cited it to the Prothean beacon as related to me by Commander Shepard. So really it wasn't that bad since the original source was the same anyway. What's a little academic dishonesty between friends when you're trying to save the Galaxy?
Liara stopped speaking to me for a week. Even temporarily blocked my emails.
I also wrote all new papers on Indoctrination theory, and the existence of the Prothean cipher. Since the council hadn't ordered me to keep quiet, and the Human military didn't actually control what I did and couldn't order me to zip it, and the Krogan government basically didn't exist, these were as much narrative military reports about my missions with Commander Shepard as anything else; with massive footnotes explaining the exact circumstances by which I came by each bit of information, including a thorough analysis of the husks and the Geth. This included after notes with theories about the implications of dragon's teeth, and all the other little bits of reaper tech lying around. It also included links to my paper on Vigil's Indoctrination detecting software, as well as links to the same.
I had them edited together and released as a non-fiction adventure novel. The publisher's store crashed three times from too many people trying to order it. On the third day, the site went down completely, only returning to the Extranet without my book for sale.
This only made demand skyrocket even higher.
Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to manage to keep the damned thing hosted up. Even the intrepid book pirates couldn't manage it. I sold several million copies before things came crashing down though, so I'm hopeful that the information will at least pass along through word of mouth.
_______________________________
2183 CE
It was three days after I had given up on selling my book that I got news of Commander Shepard's death.
'Did you know about this?' Liara accused me over email.
'With strange eons, even death may die.' was my response.
I'm pretty sure she understood what I was hinting at. Probably.
Like, 30% sure at least.
I probably shouldn't stay at any locations she knows about though, just to be safe.
I think I need to talk to Wrex and Morda about the Andromeda Initiative.
_______
2184 CE - Eden Prime War officially ends. Raloi discover Asari. Alliance first encounters Vorcha. Collectors begin harvesting Alliance worlds to create new Reaper.
'Did you know Shepard was gonna die?' Wrex asked as I jumped into his Tomkah.
'I told her ahead of time. She's only mostly dead. She got sucked out an airlock in a depressurized suit and then made an atmospheric reentry onto an ice planet. Smaller than Tuchanka, with thinner atmosphere.' I explained.
'Huh. She's a tough one if she survived all that.' Wrex remarked.
'She needs surgery and like a year or two of cutting edge medical treatment before she gets better, but once she does she'll have these glowing scars beneath the skin of her face.' I continued.
'Ah, no wonder she decided to stay the course. She'll be able to get any lover she wants, Krogan or Human!' Wrex chuckled.
'Which is why I'm gonna join her on her ship once she gets back to fighting fit.' I agreed.
'You sure it's not all those amazing fights she finds? Still can't believe you got to fight in an elevator like that.'
'Of course it's the fights, Wrex. But if I can make sure Shepard's attention doesn't stray in the meantime and ensure my daughter's happiness in the process...' I trailed off.
'It's like bombing a fuel depot.' Wrex agreed.
It took several hours, but eventually we managed to rendezvous with Morda.
________________
2184 CE
Morda liked the Andromeda initiative idea. Wrex didn't. I told them both some highlights.
Morda got the story of Alec Ryder and his kids. She also got a short summary of the Kett, the Scourge, and the Remnant. I mentioned the Angara as well as the fate of the Keelah Si'yah, the Quarian Arc. Finally I spoke of the Nexus Uprising and the treachery of Jarun Tann.
I don't know if Morda believes me, but at least she knows.
Wrex got something far more interesting. First, I handed him copies of all my papers on the Reapers, as well as all my Binary Helix data that I stole in Peak 15 but still hadn't actually gotten around to sorting through yet. You know how it is.
Then, I told them the backstory of Maelon Heplorn and the Salarian sabotage of the Shroud.
'I have a plan for how to cure it. There's one guy in particular I absolutely know can do it. I'll be working on it. Don't approach the Shroud till then. Don't try to cure it yourself unless you can manage the needed stealth. We don't wanna tip the Salarians off before there's enough political pressure to force them to let us be cured. So keep quiet about all this and don't tell anyone, understand? No one.' I warned.
Wrex nodded.
'If the Genophage is to be cured through science it needs to be cured through the Shroud.' I explained.
'Through science...' Morda noted.
'Maelon's story tells us something useful. We can evolve past the Genophage as long as the Salarians aren't there to stop it. Just make sure you keep control of any Remnant tech on New Tuchanka.' I agreed.
'Anyway, we're going to need Maelon's data. I'll work on getting it my way, but Wrex? Unless you have a Genophage cure in your pocket, you're gonna want to secure a copy another way. Maybe send in a nice promising scientist who knows to get the fuck out once the place is attacked?'
Wrex smiled knowingly at me.
'Nah. No Genophage cure here. I didn't manage to get the data off of Virmire.' he replied.
I wasn't sure what to make of that at all, but with that meeting settled and Wrex and Morda both warned, I was free to make my plans.
___________
2184 CE
I didn't want to stick around on Omega. ME2 opens with a plague. I'm not a big fan of that. Presents an unnecessary risk. Unfortunately that means helping Garrus and Mordin were both out of the question.
Liara was doing her own thing. She had my email if she needed it.
Tali was a big bad agent of the Quarian fleet now. Helping her now wouldn't help her in the long run. She needed the experience, and the respect. She'd emailed me asking if I knew Shepard was going to die. I told her that Shepard was aware, and that Liara was fixing the problem.
Ashley was busy the Alliance. Horizon, I think. Didn't even get an email from her.
I wasn't about to join Cerberus to follow my old friends, yet.
That just left one person unaccounted for.
'Kaidan! Old buddy! Old pal!'
The terror in Kaidan's eyes as he threw me through his coffee table told me that all the effort I'd spent to sneak into his apartment and hide for hours in the dark until he came home were totally worth it.
'Krell! What the hell is the matter with you!'
'With me? You're the one that keeps attacking me every time you see me! I'm not the problem here.' I lied.
'What the hell do you want, Krell?'
'You owe me a new shuttle.'
'I already told you, I can't afford a new shuttle right now! It'll have to wait a few years! I thought Krogan were supposed to be patient.' Kaidan replied, exhasperated.
'Yeah, I thought about that, and then I realized, we can kill one Salarian by throwing the other at them.'
'That's not a saying. You're definitely making that up.' Kaidan declared.
'Of course it's not a saying. It's incredibly hard! Salarians aren't aerodynamic at all, and they flail the entire time. You've gotta pick them up just above the hips and-'
Kaidan had the nerve to cut me off. 'Are you trying to teach me how to kill Salarians? Because I'm not anywhere near as strong as a Krogan. I can't lift something that size!'
'Size matters not! Look at me. Judge me by my size do you?' I quoted.
'I- How do I even answer that?' Kaidan asked as I pull myself out of the remnants of his coffee table.
'You can grab 'em with your biotics. Now take notes, kid. This is useful stuff.'
'It really isn't. Is this really why you broke into my apartment and scared the crap out of me? To teach me how to kill Salarians less efficiently?' Kaidan asked, confused.
'It's more efficiently! You kill one Salarian with another, you double your efficiency!' I corrected.
'That's not the point I'm making, Krell.'
'Fine. You're on paid leave, and you owe me a shuttle. I know where a shuttle is but I need a Biotic to get me in. You help me with this heist, and I'll write off your debt.'
'What is this, a gangster movie? A heist? Are you really serious, Krell?'
'Deadly.' I reply.
'Why should I help you?' Alenko asked.
'You mean, besides your appreciation for the fact that I saved your life, your broken promise to me, the fact that you wrecked my last shuttle, and the fact that there is a heavily armed and increasingly upset Krogan in your living room telling you to do something?'
'All of those are extremely good reasons, but yes, I did want some motivation beyond that.'
'The shuttle currently belongs to The Blue Suns; and the jerks we're stealing from are the same guys who tried to give Shepard's body to the collectors.'
'The Blue Suns?' Kaidan asked.
'Wait, Shepard's body?' Kaidan replied a second later as his brain finally caught up with him.
'Well, Shepard herself, maybe? She's only mostly dead. Not sure you humans have a word for that like Krogan do. Liara's given it to Cerberus to revive her.'
Kaidan blinked. 'Krell, you're joking right? This is serious. Cerberus are really bad guys! We can't just leave them with Shepard's body! All their experiments are insane and catastrophic! They tried to control those weird husks! Then the weird husks got loose and killed all their scientists!'
'Those were Thorian Creepers. We figured it out on Feros. They also tried to control the Rachni, who then got loose and killed all their scientists. And thresher maws, which did the same.' I explained.
'So then why would giving Shepard's body to Cerberus ever be a good idea!?'
'You really should calm down, kid. This can't be good for your blood pressure.' I soothed.
'That's not an answer to my question, Krell.' Kaidan observed, gritting his teeth.
'Right, so far here's what you established; every time Cerberus has a secret project trying to control something, that thing then breaks free, and slaughters all their scientists. If Cerberus has a secret project to control Shepard...'
'You can't be serious about taking those odds, Krell!' Kaidan asked, severely misjudging me.
'I definitely am. Anyway, I'm not gonna let the kid travel around the Galaxy without me. She's interesting. I'll be sure to keep an eye on her. Make sure she's the real deal and not that clone they're working on.'
'Clone!'
'Calm down, kid. You're gonna give me anxiety just looking at you. Are you gonna help me steal this shuttle from the Blue Suns or not?'
The answer, apparently, as 'Not.'
_________
2184 CE
I sent Tali a letter telling her to be on a lookout for Shepard sometime next year. I told her that I had reliable evidence that Shepard was recovering from severe injuries and would be recovered by then. This was technically true, if you thought of death as a 'severe injury.'
Tali asked about the rest of the Normandy crew. I told her I didn't know, but I thought Joker and Chakwas got out, and I knew Liara was safe too. I also praised Shepard's intuition and how she'd probably had a gut feeling it was coming.
I think Tali understood the subtext. She was much more observant than Liara, after all.
_________
2184 CE
I honestly did not expect Hackett to find Peebee, much less to be able to send her my way, but lo and behold, he managed it. Pelessaria B'Sayle a.k.a. Peebee, stands at my door.
'Peebee?' I ask, just to make sure.
'Professor Krell?' Peebee asks in return.
That's me.' I nodded.
'I was told you needed to see me and that it was a matter of galactic security? I'm not sure if this is more like 'We Meet Again, Doctor Fear' or 'Krantt Hardly Wait'?' Peebee asked.
I couldn't help but laugh at the comparison.
'Hah! A little of both, I think. Though the roles in Krantt Hardly Wait would be reversed. There was a matter of galactic security, but it was resolved. With that said, there's a second matter of galactic security I think that you could help with.' I decided.
'Alright, old man. If you say so.' Peebee stated skeptically.
'So, not to panic you or anything, but the attack on the Citadel wasn't just the Geth. It also included the sentient synthetic race that wiped out the Protheans; the Reapers. Sovereign was a Reaper ship. Also a Reaper. There isn't really a distinction between the two because synthetics are weird.' I explained offhandedly.
'Okay.' Peebee nodded. She was with me so far.
'Sometime after the Andromeda mission leaves, in about two years give or take a few months, an army of ships like Sovereign will invade and start killing everyone in the Milky Way.' I continued, blithely.
'Has anyone ever told you that you are literally the worst at not panicking people and at breaking bad news? Because you are. You're literally the worst.' Peebee replied, with an underlying note of panic.
'The good news, is that the Reapers do not care about Andromeda at all!' I replied.
'I know this format. This is a human meme format! You're doing a human meme! And in the meme the bad news is always--'
'The bad news, is that the Kett do.' I finished.
'Terrifyingly bad.' Peebee finished at the same time.
'That wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be?' Peebee confessed once I was done.
I looked at her, wondering why. I was actually kind of impressed. Maybe she was braver than I thought?
'What are the Kett?'
Oh. That explains it then.
'We'll get to that. But first, I want to talk about what you're going to encounter in Andromeda.'
'Doesn't that include the Kett?' Peebee asked, trying to use logic.
'Yes. Anyway. There's this really cool thing going on there. It's like if the Protheans built giant terraforming structures. They're technically still alive today? They're called the Remnant. They won't be alive when you get there, but their structures will! All kinds of neat robots and cool tech all wrapped up in an archeological enigma that literally no one else has studied!' I revealed.
Peebee stared at me. 'And?'
I narrowed my eyes at her. 'You know given how enthusiastic you will be after seeing it I sort of assumed that telling you about it would spark something, at least.' I admitted.
'What can I say? I'm a simple maiden with simple needs?' Peebee declared.
'You know what? I think I'll just give you the same data package I gave to Morda and my son.' I decided.
'You have a son? But I thought all Krogans were impotent and couldn't get their dicks up without Asari help?' Peebee asked, shocked. Or perhaps feigning shock.
I stared at her. 'You know, if you told that joke to any other Krogan besides me you'd probably have lost your head by now.'
'Joke?' Peebee asked, confused.
'What the hell is wrong with the Asari education system?' I wondered, desperately.
'Oh! I know the answer to that one! The Council of Matriarchs says it's immature maidens who don't take learning seriously! I wrote something like that on my essay for history of education, and I got a really good grade!' Peebee admitted.
'It really sounds like the issue there is the Council of Matriarchs, actually.' I admitted.
I started to pace.
'Okay, let's do a broad overview. You, Peebee, are currently dating a sociopath called ... Something or other. Very Asari sounding. She sucks and is a jerk. You should dump her.' I explain.
'Hey! I don't tell you who to date!' Peebee protested.
'I'm almost certain that's due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of willingness.' I respond.
'Oh! I know this nice matron who's about your age that's still single! She has a thing for Krogan.' Peebee immediately decided.
'First, I don't date Asari anymore. The last time I tried My ex-wife tried to blow me up on a space station and crash the whole thing into a sun. Second, I'm over 2,000 years old. There are no Asari in the entire universe that are about my age.'
'Maybe you shouldn't have divorced her, then? Some Asari can be really clingy.' Peebee helpfully suggested.
'I didn't. She became my ex when I blew up the space station with her on it.' I admitted.
'Oh! Were you also on the space station? Because honestly, that's kind of hot and romantic at the same time.' Peebee admitted.
'No. I was in a space ship. It's a bad idea to blow up a space station while you are currently inside it.' I attempted to impart.
'But much less cool! Think of all the running from slow but inevitable death you get to do!' Peebee countered.
'That's why you like remtech!? The vault purge sequence where you have to run for your life from a slow but inevitable force field that will kill you the instant it touches you!?' I realized. If I were still human, I would probably describe my emotions as some strange mixture of shock, horror, awe, and fascination. But as a Krogan I had a much more efficient collection of emotions so mostly I was just feeling the main two, anger and confusion.
'Oooh! Something like that actually exists in real life!? Sign me up!' Peebee decided.
'You're already signed up to go to Andromeda. I pulled strings to get you woken in the first batch as a xenotech and first contact specialist.' I admitted.
'I'm definitely none of those things!' Peebee asserted, amused.
'Not yet. But you will be. You will be.' I agreed.
'Ooh! That was ominous! Great job!' Peebee grinned.
'Thanks. I wanted a nice blend of ominous and reassuring.' I explained.
'You definitely failed, then. That was the most ominous thing I've ever heard. Not reassuring at all!'
I frowned. 'How about if I do it like this? You will be. You will be...'
'Less ominous, but you definitely don't have reassuring down at all. Maybe more like this? Don't worry, you will be! You will be...'
'That's good. But there's too much tonal whiplash shifting from the first sentence to the second. I want a smooth consistent blend. I'll have to workshop it.'
'Yeah, it definitely needs work!' Peebee agreed, much too readily.
'Anyway. Big picture. You get to Andromeda okay, but in the time between now and then there's this big thing released called 'The Scourge' that hunts down and destroys Remtech. It's like this sort of static energy in space. It looks really weird. I have a drawing I made of it.' I explain, retrieving the visual aid I made for this purpose.'
'That looks like some sort of weird blend between lightning, snowflakes, and literal holes in the paper. How does it hunt down anything?' Peebee insults my artwork.
'Very slowly.' I replied.
She still looked confused, so I clarified. 'It's more of an environmental hazard than an enemy. You can find it on planets, but there's also an awful lot of it out in space.'
'So... Try not to run into it?' Peebee asked.
'Yes. Try not to run into it. It will kill you.'
Her eyes lit up, sparkling with delight.
'Then there are the Kett. They're a weird alien race that forcibly convert other beings into Kett by altering their genetics for as yet unknown religious reasons. They will also try and kill you.' I explained.
Peebee began to smile.
'Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to join a small elite team to research this unknown but extremely dangerous alien technology, fight and liberate the Heleus cluster from a barely understood evil alien race, and team up with a cybernetically advanced but really pretty Human who is probably into you to do it. All while getting to annoy another human who is way too into Asari Huntresses.'
'Oh wow! Sign me up! This is going to be just like Bloody Mary!' Peebee grinned.
'Bloody Mary?' I asked.
'It's a girl-power vampire buddy comedy flick. Just came out. You should watch it!' Peebee urged.
'I'll... put it on my list.' I agreed.
'Awesome! Is that all?'
'Don't you want to know how to defeat them? Or to end the Scourge? Or anything about what will happen or what you're up against?' I asked, confused.
'No way! That would ruin all the fun!' Peebee protested.
'Huh.' I replied.
'So yeah, old man. Is that all?'
'Yeah. That's all. Oh. Wait. One more thing. You're going to be traveling with my son. Nackmor Drack. Tell him I love him, okay?'
'Sure thing, Old man!' she grinned.
Beebee practically danced out the door. 'Whooo! This is great! A whole new galaxy to explore and it's definitely full of adventure! They have actual slow moving inevitable walls of death! This is the best day ever! I need to tell my mom! Oh! And break up with Kalindra. Can't be taken when there are hot human cyborgs around to bang!' Peebee gushed as she rushed out the door.
I rested my face in my palm.
'Well... I guess that could have gone worse?' I admitted.
'I'm just not quite sure how...' I finished up the thought.
Several hours later, I realized my mistake.
'Damn it! I forgot to give her the data packet!'
_________
2185 CE
'Damn it, Krell! You can't keep hiding in my apartment in the dark waiting for me to get home!'
'A wealth of evidence shows otherwise, kid.'
'You're not gonna pay me for any of the coffee tables you made me destroy, are you?'
'Why should I? You destroyed them. Besides, you learned a very valuable lesson in friendship, so really I should be charging you.'
'Friendship?'
'Friends don't use friends as projectiles.'
'Touche.' Kaidan admitted.
The human took a deep breath.
'Alright Krell, what undeserving group of shuttle owners do you want me to help you steal from this week?'
'This one's special, kid. This one I know you'll wanna help me on.'
'You said that one the last 5 shuttles you've proposed. Including the one you wanted to steal from that Salarian Orphanage.'
'I told you kid, that was an STG front.' I know he didn't believe me, but he could have at least pretended to humor me. Besides, the orphanage was way too well funded to not be STG. They could afford to lose a shuttle.
'You definitely told me that, and it definitely wasn't.' Kaidan denied.
'You don't know that for sure. Those Salarians are tricky.' I insisted.
'Who's your target this time, Wrex? Not another Terminus warlord, I hope?'
'What? Never heard of 'em. No, this time, we're going after some real pieces of work. Just, like, real jerks.'
'Oh god, It's another orphanage again, isn't it.' Kaidan asked, horrified.
'Like I said! They definitely weren't orphans.' I replied.
'Krell, are you ever going to take these conversations seriously?'
'Of course.' I lied.
The neat thing about Humans was that you could lie to them, and as long as they knew the truth, and knew that you also knew the truth and that you knew that they knew the truth as well, they'd take the lie as an inside joke instead. That's not something you can do with Krogan, but it definitely makes bantering with Humans a lot more fun.
Kaidan took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
'Who are you telling me to steal from this time, Krell?' Kaidan finally asked.
'Some real bad dudes. Even you think they're completely irredeemable!' I gloated.
'Who is it, Krell?' Kaidan asked with a hint of impatience.
'It's a pack of remorseless irredeemable killers. It's Cerberus. The same unit that has Shepard. I just got word they docked on Omega. All we need to do is steal their shuttle and get out. It'll be the perfect crime. No complications, I promise.'
This was definitely a lie, and Kaidan definitely didn't know the truth, but the other neat thing about humans? They loved harmless pranks.
_______________________
Author's Note:
Hiatus over. I'm at 97.5k words and finished with ME2 but for the interregnum between it and 3 (which includes Arrival, but Krell's not part of that since Shepard does it alone). ME3 is fully plotted out and my writing will probably be split between that and some additional scenes for Companions I neglected a bit the first time through, like Thane, who got a total of 0 scenes and dialogue because I literally forgot he existed. I need to fix that so I'm going to add a few scenes for him, Samara, and some others.
ME3 is a wild ride as plotted. I'm going to be focusing a bit on those scanning missions. It's all well and nice to say 'Shepard picked up such and such artifact from Reaper controlled space' but some of those missions actually sound like they have some really cool potential, so I'll be digging into some of them.
Anyway, ME2 starts next chapter.
Last edited:
verycoolname
Not actually cool
"Graaaah!"
"Shepard is loose!"
"And she's killing all our scientists!"
"Who could have seen this coming!?"
- Location
- U.S.
"Oh no she got into the Experimental Wing!"
"Oh no! Wait, what was in there?"
"Our brand new experimental AI driven Taco Cart!"
"That doesn't sound so bad, what is she going to do with it? Kill us with taco shells?"
"Yes! Taco shells are very hard! But the taco cart is also armed with jet engines and miniguns!"
"...."
""OH NO!""
- Location
- Puerto Rico
Awesome chapter.
Though one thing kind of nags me is that your SI allowed the death to occur.
Did it occur to him that the butterfly effect would hit hard here that maybe Shepard's body could have been destroyed while the Normandy was exploding.
Hell an example, whose to say a piece of the ship was thrown at her and it could have cut her body in half or even her head off.
The ancient saying would apply:
Never count someone dead unless you have the body in front of you.
Though one thing kind of nags me is that your SI allowed the death to occur.
Did it occur to him that the butterfly effect would hit hard here that maybe Shepard's body could have been destroyed while the Normandy was exploding.
Hell an example, whose to say a piece of the ship was thrown at her and it could have cut her body in half or even her head off.
Unless they yell combo attack names before doing it.
You know, I am kind of hoping that somehow your SI's ex is actually alive all this time and just waiting for the perfect time to surprise him.
The ancient saying would apply:
Never count someone dead unless you have the body in front of you.
- Location
- U.S.
it has been over a thousand years, the ex would be dead by now i think
Aren't Shepard too late to kill the scientists in canon? I think their own bots kill almost all of them and last one was done in by Miranda.
Medical stasis coming to bite you in the ass.
- Location
- Elsewhere
"So, uh, where's Shepard?"
"She's dead. Didn't you hear?"
"What about the Lazerous Project?"
"The Lazerous Project was cancelled years ago. Something about redirecting the funding to kidnapping Protheans."
"..."
"What do Krogans call it?"
"A flesh wound."
WeirdRatThing
Contains Red Dye 40
- Pronouns
- He/They
You know, I think this might just be the shortest hiatus I've ever seen. A whole two days-ish!
verycoolname
Not actually cool
Maybe? I just liked the mental image of Shepard lurching about the facility and killing Cerberus scientists like Frankenstein's monster.
Quinn Porthos
Multiclass Munchkin
- Location
- Wandering
And now I'm having flashes of Cerberus creating "Bride of Shepard" out of all the ME waifus. Tali's hips, Miranda's bust, Liara's brain, Jack's Biotics, Kasumi's legs....
Arimai
Curmudgeon
Dear gods. That's hilarious. I haven't seen that cartoon strip in almost two decades.