With the battle done, I glanced over at the handful of civilians Markus had freed. Then I take a quick look down at my clothes. Despite my best efforts, they had still been spattered with viscous, black monster blood. I frown. Hopefully, the village would be willing to wash my shirt and pants for me as part of my reward. Otherwise, I'd have to beg El to cast a cleaning spell on it.
Speaking of teammates who could cast spells but couldn't easily scale near-vertical cave walls, I look over to where she's glaring at me from her spot safely ensconced on the cave floor.
Despite her earlier protests, it had been a simple matter to pick her up and toss her over my shoulder. Keeping her legs and arms from flailing at me had been slightly harder. Not because they hurt, of course. My [Tough Skin] would have taken care of the worst she had to offer on its own, but since [Brave Soul] had still been active for some reason, I barely felt her violent assault. Rather, I had to stop her from flailing around because it would have made balancing her as I slid back down the cave wall on my shield a lot harder. And while I would have survived a tumble without a scratch, El was a lot squishier than I was.
Still, without the threat of rocks and mis-aimed [Firebolts], my second slide ended a lot cleaner than the first. In fact, I'd barely even wobbled as my shield slid from wall to floor and skidded halfway across the cavernous opening. For whatever reason, the moment we'd slowed to a stop, El had squirmed her way out of her perch on my shoulder, kicking and flailing her arms along the way before stomping off without a word.
My genius mind pokes me, and I nod in agreement. She was probably just as grossed out as I was to be even nearer to that weird, not-food slowly burning to a charred mess on the fire. Unfortunately, there wasn't much either of us could do about it. I had no intention of getting any closer to it than I had to, lest the smell of it somehow become embedded in my clothes. Because then I'd have to make a terrible choice of either throwing away a gift from my teammate that I treasured or living the rest of my life with the smell constantly around me.
El, on the other hand, could always set it even more on fire, but I wasn't sure—and based on the annoyed, disgusted looks she was sending toward me, it seems she agreed—whether that would do anything other than turn it into an even more disgusting form of not-food. So, in the end, we were stuck at an impasse. Although it wasn't actually a real impasse, since there was an easy solution, one I didn't even need my genius mind to uncover.
It was time to leave.
I brush away the spatters of black blood on my shirt as carefully as I can without either touching it or getting it smeared into my shirt but give up after a few attempts. I really would have to find someone who could clean it for me. Then I turned toward the old lady who seemed to be talking in a low voice to the civilians surrounding her. She must be the lead civilian. I'd start with her.
"Hi, old lady," my voice cuts off their whispered conversation, and eleven pairs of eyes turn toward me. "I'm Ciel. The one who rescued you is Markus, and the one pouting in the corner is El."
"I'm not pouting, you idiot!"
El shouts in a pouty manner from her corner, and I grin widely at the civilians staring at me with a mix of amazement and… even more amazement? I wasn't quite sure. Still, I wasn't about to let that confusion stop my introduction. "We're the Little Calamities-"
"We are not!"
"And we're here to rescue you."
One of the civilians in the back whispers the word 'adventurers,' and I try to bask in the awe I hear in his voice as subtly as I possibly can. It was important for a soon-to-be-[Hero] to behave as though it wasn't a big deal, even if this was my first time. After all, while I'd driven off my sister and her evil invasion, she'd left me battered and near death, so I hadn't had an opportunity to enjoy the admiration of my fellow adventurers or the many civilians I'd rescued.
"Thank you, Lady Ciel. I am Jehna." The old lady bows at the waist. A moment later, the rest of the rescued civilians follow suit, and I have to bring my fist to my mouth to stifle a noise that was trying to escape. This is so cool.
"We thought that we would end up like…" The old lady pauses as her eyes trace past me and toward the man who had transformed into a monster after eating the not-food. She sighs, "Poor Helen. To lose a husband so soon after finding him."
I look over at the corpse of the man-turned-monster. Should I not have killed him? He certainly didn't look like a civilian, at least not anymore, but maybe the village had a ritual or something to return him to civilian form. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Lady Ciel." The old lady shakes her head, and I let out a silent breath of relief. I didn't want to be responsible for accidentally killing an innocent. Even without the knowledge in my books, I knew that wouldn't help me become a [Hero]. "It's a sorry state when monsters pour out of the mountains, and the king's heirs are too busy fighting over the throne to protect us."
My head perks up at that. Evil, hairy, transforming monsters was the kind of thing Riri liked. She was the [Father of Monsters] for a reason, but assassinating a king and throwing a country into chaos was definitely an Ashe plan.
I pause for a moment, not sure whether this was the right place to get my first exposition dump. On the one hand, I'd just rescued a bunch of grateful civilians, and we were currently standing in the midst of the broken and dismembered bodies of the monsters that had abducted them. On the other, the sooner we got the civilians back to their village, the sooner my celebratory feast could begin.
Despite not needing to eat, my stomach grumbles quietly—mostly to remind me of the promise of cake—and I make a decision. "We need to get you and your friends out of here, old lady. We've got a cart waiting outside so we can take you back to the village."
"Vestmoore still stands?"
One of the civilians behind the old lady mutters the question, and I nod vigorously. "Yeah! There was still a bit of rampage-smoke, but the mayor was there, leading a bunch of men with axes and stuff when we showed up."
My answer was apparently the key that unlocked some bit of etiquette I wasn't sure about because questions flooded at me, one after another.
"How many died?"
"How long have we been gone?"
"Are the walls still intact?"
"Did they burn the grain silos?"
"Is my farm still there?"
"Alright, you lot." The old lady's voice cuts through the deluge of questions like a [Dragonspear] through a Dragon. "We'll have plenty of time to get answers to our questions once we're safely back in Vestmoore."
The group gathered behind her nod in agreement, and I grin widely at them. We'd have them out of this gross, not-food-filled cave in no time. We just needed to… my genius mind pokes me, and I turn toward Markus.
"I don't think me trying to carry everyone up to the ledge is a good idea."
"Chirp."
"Awesome." I pause to give Markus a thumbs-up before turning back to the rescued civilians. "Alright, folks. Follow Markus to freedom."
The civilians mutter things like 'Who's Markus,' and 'That's a squirrel,' but between El's glare and my grin, we manage to corral them into a line that quickly begins to march out of the cave.
With my new and improved [Superior Strength], lifting the cart back over the spree of earth and fallen rock was trivial, though I did enjoy the amazed looks from the rescued civilians as I hoisted the cart over my head with one hand. Once it was clear of obstruction, the only remaining task was to get everyone sorted onto the cart.
I look from the cart that was clearly meant for a soon-to-be-[Hero] and her companions and then back to a milling crowd of civilians. Hmm… I consider asking my genius mind for a solution, only to pause and grin. This was a planning thing and I wasn't responsible for planning things.
I turn to El, and my grin widens. "How are you going to get everyone on the cart and back to their village."
El scowls at me, and I breathe an internal sigh of relief. It was good to see her no longer affected by the not-food and everything else back in the cave. "Stop grinning, you idiot. We will not be piling them on one atop another or whatever foolish thought has caught your attention."
I manage to keep the pout in my heart off my face. I had been looking forward to seeing everyone crammed in the back while arms and legs flailed out wildly like some kind of human ball. Still, if we weren't going to be doing that, then… "so how are we getting everyone back? If we make them walk, we might end up being late for our feast."
"I will allow… ugh," El looks over at the group of civilians looking at us with wide-eyed stares. Her stare seems to focus in on the various stains liberally coating their clothing before she sighs. "I will allow three of them at a time to ride in my Tollheim-."
El's voice raises until she's loudly speaking over the top of my head, "So long as they keep their grubby hands and dirty clothes from touching anything but the railing,"
There's a murmur of words from the civilians saying things like 'how rude,' and 'my hands aren't grubby,' and 'I bathed last week,' before the old lady I'd talked to the first time steps clear of the group and over to where El and I were standing.
She looks back at her subordinate civilians with a look that must have been pretty scary because the murmuring cuts off immediately, and then bows to El at the waist. "We will ensure that not a speck of blood or dirt is left on your vehicle, Lady El."
El looks mollified at that. At least, that's what it seemed by the way, her face lost its scrunched-up look. "Pick your three, and I will drive them back."
"Oh! Oh!" I wave my hand excitedly as I watch the old lady march back to her group of civilians. "What do I get to do? I could get back in the front and swing my sword at any stray monsters we run across, or I could-"
El cuts me off with a flick to the forehead only to grab her finger and hiss something like, 'This had better not be permanent, or I'm switching to fire,' before continuing, "You are going to wait here with Markus while I drive the peasants back in groups."
"Wait a minute."
My moment of excitement dies an abrupt death. If I'm not there when the first civilians get returned to the village in triumph, I'll miss my second celebration of victory. If things continued like that, it would become a trend, and I'd become a [Hero] that no one knew did [Hero]ic things. I couldn't let that happen. I open my mouth to protest the decision, but before I can, El interrupts me.
"If you come back with the civilians, then who will stay behind to guard the peasants?"
I look back at the cave entrance where, deep below the ground, we left a dozen of those weird, not-food-eating monsters lying in piles of blood and viscera. And dismembered limbs. And charred bits of skin and fur and… I shake my head and pull my infallible memory back to the present. There'd be time later to regale everyone with how awesome my team was. "But we killed them all…"
"Did we?" El arches an eyebrow in the exact same way Ashe did when she was trying to get me to do something weird, like when she wanted me to stop rampaging around Reitzland and lie in wait and ambush a company of [Flying Mages] as they flew across the ocean.
"Yeah!" I agree as emphatically as I can. "I counted!"
"But what about other monsters?" El lowers her voice a touch as the civilians nearby start shifting about, seemingly just as bothered that El didn't want me escorting them back as I was. "Surely these mountains are just crawling with the kinds of things that would love to eat an unguarded peasant?"
"Exactly," I nod in agreement. "That's why I should go back with them. To make sure they're safe."
And so I could bask in the adulation of the village, but I didn't need to say that.
"The Tollheim can outrun anything short of a [Calamity] popping up on our trip back." A frown forms in my chest, but I manage to keep it off my face. At least she hadn't said it could outrun a [Calamity]. I don't know how I would have proven her wrong, but I would have had to. My sisters' pride would have demanded it. "So if we run into anything on the way back, we can escape from them."
"Ok." I drawl the word out slowly, not sure where she was going, but almost certain I wouldn't like it.
"So, while whoever is in the Tollheim will be able to ensure the safety of these peasants by driving faster, since we can't load them all in one trip, the ones who stay behind will be in danger too." As she says that, my genius mind starts to put things together.
"You want me to stay behind to keep them safe from roving monsters."
"Exactly." El smiles in a way that looks a lot like a smirk for some reason. "Neither Markus nor I would be able to guarantee their safety if we stayed behind…"
I nod slowly at that. A soon-to-be-[Hero]'s sidekicks were supporting characters. They really were good at doing stuff like driving carts into town with rescued civilians in the back while the [Hero] fought off hordes of vicious monsters.
"Besides, think of how awesome it would be if you fought off a…" El pauses for a moment to look up at the sky, "secret boss monster that came back from its hunt only to find that all its subordinate monsters were dead."
My head perks up as visions of a grotesque, misshapen monster flies in on leathery wings and looks down at the rescued civilians, thinking it has an easy meal. Then I'd fight him off with [Brave Soul] and my now even more enhanced [Superior Strength], and the civilians I rescued a second time would be even more amazed than they are now. Plus, when I killed the secret-boss-monster, they'd have to have a second feast, just for me, to celebrate my [Hero]ic actions.
Yeah! I pump my fist and grin. Guarding civilians in a hostile environment surrounded by monsters and other enemies would be an awesome way to prove just what kind of [Hero]-to-be I am. "Leave it to me!"
"I intend to." El drawls out with a smirk.
With that decided, I walk over to a nearby boulder and hop on top of it. From here, I would have the perfect view if anything tried to come in and attack the civilians on my watch. But that was only half of it. I flourish my sword with one hand and then plant the tip into the stone below me, just like I'd seen statues of knights do in the past. There, now, I would be the perfect guard-adventurer.
I would allow nothing to move me. I would be as stone. A perfect sentinel watching over my charge until the sun engulfed the world and Aza sang the song of Creation's end. In fact, I was such a perfect guard-adventurer, that I didn't move an inch in my vigil, despite the bounciness flapping in my legs. I didn't move an inch when the cart left with a trio of civilians, nor did I move when it returned empty and three more civilians were loaded into it. I was such a perfect guard-adventurer, that I didn't even move when I spotted a pack of wolves stalking off in the distance, nor did I move when the cart returned for the last time, having just ferried the last group of civilians back to town.
"Ciel, if you don't get down from there, I'll leave you behind." My stone-like watch didn't even twitch as my teammate shouted up from her place perched on her cart.
I was eternal. I was infinite. I was the mountain, destined never to meet the- "I'm not saving you a plate if you decide to miss the"
I blink, surprised to find myself in the seat next to El. "Do you only move that quickly for food?"
"Huh?"
By the time we get back to the village, there's a celebration in full swing. I pout for a moment at the thought that I'd missed the start, but it fades when El ruffles my hair and says, "Come on, let's go see what they've got cooked up for the hero of the hour."
I freeze, momentarily concerned that she'd seen through my secret [Hero] plans, but relax as I realize the lack of appropriate emphasis. Hero versus [Hero]. Whew. I breathe out silently. My secret is still safe.
"Ciel?"
El looks at me, doubtless confused that I haven't sprinted toward the food. Well, I could fix that. I hop upright with a grin, and the ground sort of blurs around me a bit as I leap off the cart and sprint toward the source of all the music and food smells. "Last one in's a dragon's egg."
Seconds later I crash through the half-closed doors of a huge longhouse kind of building that probably belonged to the mayor or something. The party inside doesn't stop when I arrive, and I'm thankful for that. They looked like they were having so much fun!
People were dancing to music around an open space in the middle of the longhouse. Children were running around the sides, playing and fighting with sticks. There was a pair of barrels full of something that smelled like those drinks Ashe had forbidden me to drink after I'd found a cellar full of them and drank all of them. The old lady I'd rescued was over in a corner talking to a man my immaculate memory told me was the mayor. The other old lady I'd talked to earlier was there too, along with-
"Fluffy!" The distance between us vanishes, and I crash into a fluffy side, careful to keep my strength to hugging levels, not crushing levels. Fluffy turns and whuffs happily in my ears but otherwise doesn't move.
"Well, well, if it isn't the adventurer of the hour." A voice murmurs above me, still audible even with the music and cheer thanks to my [Superior Hearing].
I look up at the old lady and grin, though I wasn't sure how much of it she could see with my face still half-buried in the fluffy dog. Since I didn't think she had super hearing like I did, I shouted as loudly as I could in my smaller form. "Hi, miss [Woodslady]!"
"Hello, Ciel." The old lady smiles down at me. "We've been waiting for you. Your teammate wouldn't let us get started without you."
I look around at the celebration. If this was what it looked like when it hadn't even started… I practically bounce up and down beside Fluffy. I couldn't wait to see what it looked like when it did.
"Heh." The old lady's smile shifts to a grin. "Let me grab that good-for-nothing mayor of ours. You just make sure your teammates are all here."
I watch as she saunters off toward the corner where I'd seen the other old lady and the mayor talking. Then I turn toward Fluffy, concerned that I'd have to leave his fluffiness behind until my genius mind pokes me.
Moment's later, I'm perched on dog-back, and we're off on a hunt for my team.
"A toast!"
The mayor's bellow cuts through the clamor of the celebration. Moments later, the whole village slows from merriment to silence and turns toward him and to us. El was standing to my right, her clothes and hair showing none of the dirt and dust from fighting monsters in a cave all day before racing her cart back to town to drop off civilians. Markus looks similarly neat, perched on my shoulder, with his normally ratty-scarf draped elegantly around his shoulders in the way a [Vampire Lord] I'd once worked for had worn his capes.
As for me, I was standing on the seat of a chair to make sure people could see me over the edge of the table. I was also busily wiping the grease from a spicy rolled-pork thing that I'd eaten with my hands onto my shirt. As I'd expected, El had refused to use magic to clean it for me, and at this point, I'd figured that a bit of grease and meat juice couldn't be any worse than monster blood.
"When monsters crept over our walls in the middle of the night and stole away with our loved ones, we were lost. Without hope. Consumed with fear for those that we'd lost and of what the following night would bring. The safety of the Thane's castle and his soldiers was many miles away but the danger to ourselves and the ones we love was imminent. It was Vestmoore's darkest hour. A dozen of our friends and family abducted in the night, and not a hope of rescue in sight."
The mayor pauses, and an angry rumble emanates from the listening crowd. Who knew they disliked rhyming that much?
"But we were not so lost as it seemed. For in that moment, our moment of peril stepped three adventurers. Without a thought for the risks involved or a promise of rewards, they vowed to rescue our people. And rescue them, they did."
El frowns slightly at that, so slightly that if I hadn't been standing right next to her, I might have missed it, even with my [Calamity] enhanced senses.
"They ventured into the unknown with naught but courage as their guide and determination as their shield. There, they found a long-abandoned mine teeming with the monsters that had taken our families. Fearlessly, they delved into the depths of the earth. Fearlessly, they faced the terrors that lurked within. It was a journey fraught with peril, yet they pressed on. Until, in a lightless cavern beneath the earth, they met our captors."
The crowd starts that angry murmur again. Which would make sense because I was sure the rescued civilians had told their families about that gross, not-food the monster had been making people eat. Everyone needed to know how evil these monsters truly were, and I could think of nothing that would make that clearer.
"With sword and spell and claw, they slayed these monsters to the last and rescued those we feared we would never see again. To our heroes, we owe a debt of gratitude that words can scarcely express. So let us raise our glasses in a toast. To you, the Little Calamities—may your path ahead be filled with light and your hearts with the knowledge that you have made an indelible mark on our lives. Here's to you, our champions, our saviors. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Cheers!"
A wild, smug grin crosses my face, even as I hear El groan in defeat, and I lift a wooden mug full of apple juice to my lips and down it in one gulp. Today is the best day ever!
The celebration had started dying down hours ago, and people were steadily trickling out of the longhouse in pairs and trios. At least the ones that could still stand up and walk were. There were a number that had chosen to fall asleep on the floor for some reason. A few had even decided to sleep in puddles of chunky liquid, which seemed like an odd choice, but both El and my sisters had lectured me about different towns and cities doing things in different ways. So, I left them to it despite being kind of grossed out by it.
One person who was also ready for the party to end was El, who was currently dragging me toward the entrance to the longhouse. I could have used either version of my [Superior Strength] to stay with Fluffy and Miss [Woodslady] and the other old lady—who I'd learned was the mayor's wife—but since my teammate had said she needed to ask me something important, I'd decided to let myself be dragged along. Plus, it was kind of fun to let my heels drag across the wooden floors as El pulled.
Unfortunately, that bit of fun ended as we left the warmth and pleasant smells of the longhouse behind. At that point, I actually had to walk since I didn't think my teammate was strong enough to pull me across the grass and cobblestone path she took back to our cart.
"Ok." El lets my arm drop so she can cross both of her arms across her chest and stare down at me like my sisters did when I was in trouble. "I was fine letting all of your… you-ness go—Dead Gods know I knew what I was getting into from the start—but none of that explains you shouting at that boss monster in some strange language. Nor does it explain him answering in the same."
"That's because…" I trail off. Was this the moment I revealed my deepest secret to my teammate? I shake my head internally. It couldn't be. There weren't any evil [Overlords] monologuing about their evil plans. Nor were there any sneaky evil people who had gotten close to our team only to betray it—at least I didn't think there were… unless Markus was actually a gold dragon in disguise or something, but he wasn't nearly as self-righteous as they were so I didn't think-
My thoughts cut off as El flicks my forehead. "Now's not the time to get lost in thoughts, Ciel. I want answers."
Well, if there wasn't an evil [Overlord] or a party-betraying dragon, and there wasn't even any lava or anything else to set the mood, then how could it be-
My thoughts are cut off once again by a flick to the forehead, "Ciel. Answers."
Right. My teammate wanted answers. Answers that I absolutely could give her if it were the right time for them. But what if it wasn't? Then I'd spoil the late second act reveal that sets my team back so that I have to do something truly awesome to prove that I'm still the person they knew and-
A third flick cuts off my thoughts yet again. "Answers, Ciel."
Answers. Right. Answers. Maybe I could… not tell the truth? It wasn't the right thing to do as a soon-to-be-[Hero], but then [Heroes] sometimes had to tell small lies to protect bigger things, and my growth as a [Hero] from my stories was certainly-
I barely even noticed when a fourth flick to my forehead cut off my thoughts, "Ciel."
So if I couldn't tell the truth, then I could tell the… not truth. My stomach twists a bit at the thought of lying to my teammates—well, besides all the lies I've told already—but then, sometimes, the most responsible thing to do was lie, right-
A fifth flick hits my forehead, and I spare a moment of concern that El might be injuring her finger against my [Thick Skin]. "Answers."
Ok. I had to stop thinking. Whether I lied or told the truth, this was it. I would tell my teammates something, and then it would be up to them. Would they accept me if they knew I was a [Calamity] in disguise? My stomach twists a bit more at the thought of them leaving, but even my genius mind can't predict how that would go. On the other hand, wouldn't lying make the second act reveal even more painful? Plus, I'd have to live all that time until the reveal with that lie hanging over me. Us.
"Ok." I open my eyes and look up at El and at the finger inches away from my forehead, doubtless in preparation for a sixth flick. "I'll tell you… it's just kind of complicated."
"Ciel, you look like a twelve-year-old girl. You're more reckless than any ten adventurers I've ever met put together. You have gaps in your knowledge of fundamental things that are wide enough to steer a barge through. Your skills and classes absolutely do not account for half of what I've seen you do today. Dead Gods, Ciel, you befriended a squirrel and somehow taught it to speak." El ticks off each point with her finger, and she ticks off the last one on her pointer finger, which she then wags at me.
"I already know you're complicated, so just spit it out."
Despite the heaviness in the air around me. Despite whatever it was that was twisting my stomach into knots, I grin. I really did have the best teammates.
Folks have asked, and no doubt been wondering, just how far El would let Ciel's… Cielness slide. Apparently, this far.
[] Be a bold [Hero] and tell a huge lie
[] Be a smart [Hero] and tell a small lie
[] Be an honest [Hero] and tell the truth
[AN]
Apologies for the extended delay. Work has been busy, and it's left me with little motivation to write.
