- Location
- Attached to a wall
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Banned?I am fairly confident this is banned under Geneva convention.
Why would they ban anything they put on their great checklist
The Villainess wants to be a Hero
- Thread starter dmclain2
- Start date
Why would they ban anything they put on their great checklist
Eternal_0bserver
(Unverified Bookworm)
- Location
- Earth, Northern Europe
[X] "My team and I still have a few finishing touches to make, but I can introduce you to the group if you want to stay put for a bit."
- Location
- Pittsburgh PA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] "My team and I still have a few finishing touches to make, but I can introduce you to the group if you want to stay put for a bit."
Since when has the Geneva Convention applied to Ciel?I am fairly confident this is banned under Geneva convention.
[X] "My team and I still have a few finishing touches to make, but I can introduce you to the group if you want to stay put for a bit."
[X] "These competitions can last all night, and they never stock enough food. If you want something, you should go early."
Really, there's only one choice here.
Really, there's only one choice here.
In which an Adventurer interrupts a match
"My team and I still have a few finishing touches to make, but I can introduce you to the group if you want to stay put for a bit."
My stomach grumbles as I look over to the stands of good-smelling food. I could see—and smell—pieces of fried dough that were being dusted with a thick layer of something sugary and spicy. There were also skewers of meat roasting inside little red-stone ovens that smelled smokey and crispy and-
My genius mind pokes me. My head falls and a frown forms in my chest that only barely stays off my face. Even if I wanted to get something, I don't have any money. El takes care of that for us since she's the planner. Also because carrying around a whole bunch of coins would just make me jingle when I walked and I didn't want that. How was a secret-[Calamity] supposed to sneak up on anything when they could hear her jingle?
"Ok," I breathe out loudly and slowly, "Let's go meet your team."
"Heh," rescued-dwarf not-laughs and smiles a dessert-stealing smile. "I'm sure you'll like them even more than all the kebabs and auroch's ears you could eat."
I take one last look at the food stands and something inside me curls in on itself. The fried dough really did look just as floppy and chewy as an auroch's ear. That something curls up even further when one of the cook-dwarfs pulls out a skewer of meat marinated to a red so bright that practically screamed 'I'm delicious, eat me!'
My stomach grumbles loudly enough that a nearby not-shiny-dwarf turns to look at me. I ignore him and breathe out loudly and slowly again. Then I shut off my secret-[Calamity] nose—at least that way I wouldn't have to smell all the tasty things I couldn't eat—and follow after rescued-dwarf.
I'm sure her team was cool. Not as cool as mine, of course. And probably not as cool as having a giant stack of boxes that the vendors were filling with tournament-food and handing to the spectators about to see how awesome a soon-to-be-[Hero] I really was when I-
Once again, my genius mind pokes me. This time, though, instead of making a frown form in my chest, its idea puts a grin back on my face. After all, when I win the tournament, I can get my reward in food instead of gold.
It takes a few minutes for us to thread through the crowd, but eventually, we end up near the arena floor itself. I followed rescued-dwarf as she hops over the railing and over to what must be her team. I was almost certain they were because of the way she stops in front of them and grins. It was a grin that still had a bit of dessert-stealer in it, but also a bit of 'Fine, Ciel, I'll let you have a bite… one bite,' too.
"Despite Kazrik's best efforts, your fearless leader has arrived."
"Was wonderin' how that was gonna go with the whole… wait, who's the squirt? Did ya' make a new friend, princess?" I look up and up and up toward the source of the deep voice that was vibrating pleasantly in my chest and see a face framed by a pair of tusks jutting out that was staring down and down and down back at me.
"I'm Ciel. I'm an adventurer." This time I don't make the mistake of trying to introduce the rest of my team, although something funny still flutters in my chest. Just like it had last time. I do my best to ignore it, though. These were new people that I could show how awesome I was so they'd cheer for me even before I jumped in and beat up the tournament favorite and his opponent in a two-on-one fight.
I also had a question to ask. "Are you an orc? Because I've never met an orc that wasn't all 'Raagh! There's no way a little sprog like you could have eaten more than me! You must have cheated with magic!"
Rescued-dwarf hisses my name and then elbows me in the chest for some reason. Then she hisses again as her attack bounces off my [Thick Skin]. I glance over at her in confusion only to see her face all wrinkled up as she rubs her her bashing-elbow. But when she doesn't say anything else, I shrug and turn back to maybe-an-orc.
"Hah," his laugh echoes loudly enough that it sets a nearby table full of tiny metal weapons to jiggling. "Don't worry 'bout it, princess. I ain't offended."
"Name's Throk, half-pint an' I'm a half-orc." He sticks out his massive hand and I lift onto my tip-toes to shake it. His hand engulfs mine, but when he goes to shake it up and down, my [Superior Strength] stops him from shaking me along with it. "Guess ya' really are an adventurer, huh, squirt?"
"Yeah!" I wait until he frees my shaking-hand to fist-pump. "I'm the team leader for the best adventurer team in the world!"
"Don't hog the girl all to yourself, Throk," a girl-dwarf slips past definitely-an-orc's waist with a hip-bump that moves him a few inches to the side. She looks at me and then grins in a way that makes a pair of red gemstones studded into her lips crinkle together. "Hey there, cutie, I'm Venla."
"Don't get too close to her, Ciel," rescued-dwarf smiles her dessert-stealing smile, "she bites."
"Oh, princess, I don't remember you having a problem with bites when we went to that inn after the last tournament." gemstone-dwarf's voice drawls out in the same way El's did when she had to talk to peasants which was weird since princesses weren't peasants. That would be impossible.
Rescued-dwarf's face scrunches up into a frown for some reason, but I barely pay attention to that. Instead, my focus turns entirely to gemstone-dwarf. Biting people was wrong. Unless you were a [Villain] or a secret-[Calamity] who needed more than one bite to eat an annoying gold dragon blathering about something called noblesse oblige—whatever that was. Then it was acceptable.
But gemstone-dwarf wasn't one of my sisters in disguise. I'd have already gotten lots of hugs and maybe a lecture about being out past my bedtime if she were. So, if she really was going around and biting people that could mean only one thing… "you must be the secret-[Villain] making sure that adventurers who sneak out past their bedtime can't do anything fun!"
Maybe-an-orc laughs again, this time loud enough that one of the tiny weapons rattles all the way off the table. "She's got ya' there, Ven."
"Oh, please." gemstone-dwarf sidles closer to me, "Does this look like the face of a villain to you, cutie?"
I stare closely, taking in the grin that bares a pair of tiny little pointy teeth and eyes the shade of dried blood boring into me like she was a wolf looking at dinner. I shake my head, "Nope! You look a lot like my sister Ashe when she wakes up after drinking too much of her rotten grape juice."
Gemstone-dwarf blinks. Then her grin stretches even wider, and it looks like she's going to say something, but before she can, the last dwarf walks up and bops her on the back of the head.
"Ignore Ven, she may seem a bit feral but it's all for show. She's also, unfortunately, my sister." gemstone-dwarf's eyes narrow at the new dwarf, who's wearing a thick leather apron wrapped around a chest shaped just like a barrel. "I'm Grim."
"Grimgal. After our aunt, Galina, who ran away with a dwarf almost a century younger than her.," gemstone-dwarf proves she likes to steal desserts too with her smile. Maybe she was a [Villain] after all. But since she wasn't doing any evil [Villain] stuff right now, I'll just keep an eye on her. She might be the kind of [Villain] I could redeem by showing how awesome a soon-to-be-[Hero] I am.
"Ignore her," barrel-dwarf rumbles. "She slept through grammar and doesn't remember that -gal is an affix for descendent of."
"Yeah, well, at least I didn't forget to oil up the prop shaft before attaching it to the chassis."
I perk up as she mentions oil and take a closer look around. Was rescued-dwarf's team really going to fry something for us to eat during the tournament? Maybe they were a better team than I'd thought—still not as cool as the Little Calamities, but maybe they could be the third-best team. But despite my secret-[Calamity] senses, I don't see or smell anything that seems like food. I do see a little metal box set on wheels, though.
I turn back to the conversation right as probably-an-orc grins a tusky grin and pats rescued-dwarf on the head. "Relax, princess. Wasn't nothin' a couple of hours in the shop couldn't fix. Woulda' told ya' earlier, but it's been a bit challengin' to get a message to ya'."
Probably-an-orc must be really good at head-pats, though, because her face turns pink and then she just kind of makes a grumbly sound and huffs. "Fine. Fine. You're right, Throk. It's not that big a deal. I'm just frustrated with all the nonsense since the [Guards] found that Ironhelm spy."
If she needed to sneak around so badly, maybe I could tell her all about the ancient sneaking-secret of stealth-boxes. No. Wait. That was the kind of secret you couldn't share with so many other people around. Plus, I didn't know rescued-dwarf all that well. What if she decided to turn into a [Villain] once she learned about the ultimate-stealth-secret? I didn't want to have to come back here later and end stealth-dwarf's reign of terror. After all, Ashe was already working with Riri to play [Heroes] and [Villains] with me and that's way better fun than fighting a stealth-dwarf [Villain].
Thinking about fighting, though. If this was one of the teams competing in the tournament, then… "Hey, who's going to be fighting in the tournament?"
I watch as probably-an-orc and barrel-dwarf lift the not-fried-food-box onto the table. A frown forms in my chest and works its way up to my face. Was this really what they were going to compete in the tournament with? It's so small. The only way it could beat someone up is if you rolled it really fast at an opponent and banged their shins.
Still, since I was planning to compete anyway, maybe I could kill two gold dragons with one bite and have an actual team to represent rather than just jumping in during the finals. "Are you sure you want to compete with this? It looks like it'd break if I stomped too hard."
"Oh?" Gemstone-dwarf raises an eyebrow at me. "Sure you're not too dismissive of genuine dwarven engineering, miss adventurer?"
"Ahem," probably-an-orc grumbles out a sound like a cough but without coughing.
"Dwarven and orcish [Engineering]."
My head tilts in confusion as she says that last word, "I thought that's what they called the people who drive the trains in Raynwall? Is that your class too?"
"That's-"
"Hah!" Rescued-dwarf's laugh—not the fake laugh she sometimes used, but a real one—cuts off gemstone-dwarf's response.
Instead of answering my question, gemstone-dwarf is just kind of opening and closing her mouth without saying anything. Barrel-dwarf similarly, doesn't say anything, but in the spaces between rescued-dwarf's laughter, probably-an-orc explains.
"In Steamforge, an [Engineer]'s someone who builds things. Grim and Ven specialize in usin' manastones to power all sorts of things an' it's them that built the motor an' the drivetrain—that's the bit that spins the wheels."
He reaches over to tap on a bit of metal that looks like it's got a bunch of tiny teeth on it.
"I do a mite of forgin' on the side, so I made the chassis and armor with a special alloy I've been experimentin' on in my free time. Unfortunately, it ain't as strong as mithril… yet."
His huge, probably-orcish hands ball into a fist, and then he knocks loudly on the top of the not-fried-food-box. It tongs with the sound of armor being hit.
"Bri's our resident genius an' she did most of the plannin' an' math to make sure it all works. An' she'll be the one drivin' us to victory." Probably-an-orc grins his tusky grin at rescued-dwarf who stops laughing and turns redder than than a spark of [Annihilation] for some reason.
I nod as he and the rest of rescued-dwarf's team—except for rescued-dwarf, who's busy hiding her face in her hand and muttering things I can't quite hear—look at me. I guess their not-fried-food-box was a lot like El's cart, only smaller and with actual armor. Still, I was certain I could beat up my teammate's cart and I was certain I could beat this one up too. "Are you sure you don't want me to fight instead? A tournament arc sounds like a lot of fun."
"Ciel," rescued-dwarf lifts her head out of her hand and looks at me in the way El sometimes does when I say something so awesome she just can't understand it at all. "This is a tournament for automata, not people."
It takes me a moment to realize what she was implying. I look back and forth between the not-fried-food-box and rescued-dwarf's team. Then I look around the edges of the arena where a bunch of other teams were gathered around their own not-fried-food-boxes, some of which weren't shaped to fry food at all.
Oh. This isn't a tournament arc after all.
"Boo."
"And in this corner…"
I zone out the announcer-dwarf standing in the middle of the arena pointing at an automata that I bet couldn't even fry a donut if its life depended on it. This isn't the fun rescued-dwarf promised. Where was my chance to leap in from the stands and beat up both combatants and prove I belonged in the tournament even though I showed up too late to register? And even if I did jump in and stomp the automata into little pieces, I wouldn't be proclaimed the winner, since I wasn't even an automata.
"Here, cutie," gemstone-dwarf hands a tiny little cup to me. "The real reason we do this isn't to win. It's to get together and watch shit get wrecked."
"Ven," barrel-dwarf rumbles at her. "She can't be older than fourteen."
"Don't be such an ungreased gear, Grim," she grins that hungry-wolf grin of hers. "She's an adventurer. They drink like fish. Besides, the best part of all of this is getting to drink firewhiskey on the princess's coin."
"Ven-"
Barrel-dwarf rumbles at her again, but she just turns away and looks at me. "Bottom's up. I promise it'll make this a lot more fun."
Well, if that's the case. I bring the tiny cup up to my lips and gulp it down in one go. It tastes like fire and burning and smoke. It tastes like a rampage. A grin crosses my face.
"Can I have some more?"
"As much as you want, cutie," gemstone-dwarf's grin widens until it's nearly as wide across her face as mine. "Princess always brings plenty."
I down my fifth tiny cup of rampage-juice—gemstone-dwarf called it a shot, I was learning a lot of new words tonight—and slam it to the railing in front of me. After my second shot, my head had started to feel a bit fuzzy. After the fourth it had started feeling a bit swimmy. I was looking forward to seeing what more shots would do.
"3. 2. 1. Fight."
I turn my attention away from my tiny cup as as not-fried-food-box races toward flat-shield. The two collide and bounce apart in a shower of sparks. I roar and the crowd roars with me. Not-fried-food-box lands on its wheels and kicks up sand as it darts toward where flat-shield was spinning around in wobbly circles. Instead of banging into flat-shield again, not-fried-food-box drifts past it with inches to spare. Then it spins in a tight circle and a flap pops open on the side. A spinny blade shoots out from the side and all the sudden, it becomes spinny-saw-box as it charges back toward flat-shield.
I roar even louder as saws carve into one of flat-shield's wheels and leave it running around in circles like a wolf chasing its tail. Then spinny-saw-box turns like a [Calamity] coming back to stomp on the one building she somehow missed during her first rampage. It charges again and again and again, each charge ripping out flat-shield's wheels until flat-shield is lying motionless in the middle of the arena.
"And the winner is… Gears and Beers!"
My roar is swallowed up by the roar of the crowd around me, but that doesn't stop me from jumping up and down and waving my arms above my head.
We won! We won!
I down my seventh, no, eighth, no, definitely tenth shot, barely able to breathe as spinny-saw-box retreats from giant-hammer. Unlike flat-shield, giant-hammer had a big hammer strapped to its top, which probably wouldn't have done much, except that the hammer part was kind of hanging over the front so that giant-hammer could bash things really hard.
I had booed as loudly as I could when giant-hammer had bashed into spinny-saw-box's spinny-saw—and if it weren't for gemstone-dwarf giving me another cup of rampage-juice, I might have jumped down there and showed giant-hammer what a real bash was like—only to start roaring again when spinny-saw-box had popped out another one from its other side.
Since that first destroyed spinny-saw, the two automata had been circling each other in a game of [Calamity] and knight. Except instead of the knight always running away from eye-beams and breath-attacks and stompy-claws, they both took turns playing [Calamity] which didn't make any sense, but did cause me to roar even louder when it was spinny-saw-box's turn to be [Calamity].
My roar cuts through a moment of silence as spinny-saw-box twists to the side just enough to avoid an attack from giant-hammer. This was it. I could see it all unfolding in front of me. Spinny-saw-box would spin around and come in from the left. Just like that. Then it would change its curve just a bit to the side.
"Yeah! Go, spinny-box!"
Then it would bounce into giant-hammer with a glancing blow that was just close enough to angle the spinny-saw into the soft spot in giant-hammer's back and…
Smoke rises from giant-hammer and it makes a kind of whiny noise. "Yeah! Go Spinny! Cut them again! Spinny! Spinny!"
The crowd starts to roar along with me as Spinny turns giant-hammer into a pile of smoke and broken hammers.
"And the winner is…"
"SPIN-NY! SPIN-NY! SPIN-NY!"
"Come on, Spinny! Get up!" The railing cracks under my fingers, "Don't let Choppy hit you again!"
Despite my shouted orders, Choppy does end up circling back around and chopping a huge gash into one of Spinny's saws.
"Left! To the left!" Spinny ignores me and charges forward, right into another strike from Choppy's axe. My fingers tighten even further and stone starts to crumble.
Spinny's my new teammate! How could I just stand here watching while it's getting beat up by Choppy's axe? A [Hero] wouldn't just sit there doing nothing while their teammate was being hit with an axe. I have to do something!
"No! Spinny! No!" Choppy cleaves through Spinny's last saw with a blow so strong that strikes sparks off the ground. I can't take it any longer.
"Hold on Spinny! I'm coming!"
I land wobbly on the arena floor, my head fuzzy and floaty from all the rampage-juice, but what kind of teammate would I be if I let something like that stop me? Voices shout out something behind me, but I'm too focused on sprinting toward where Choppy is about to deliver the final strike to a smoking and helpless Spinny.
I stumble, the sand and my wobbly head making it impossible to keep upright. Choppy raises his axe for the execution.
Faster! I have to go faster!
"Raargh!" My roar echoes throughout the arena. [Brave Soul] activates. I feel stone beneath my feet as my toes shred through the soles of my shoes. Try and stop me now wobbly head!
My feet gouge into the soft stone beneath me. My legs bunch up. My grin widens until it's all teeth. The arena blurs around me as I explode forward.
I feel a soft bop on the top of my head as I collide with Choppy's axe and watch as half of Choppy's axe joins me in a flying, tumbling, roll.
I did it! Spinny's safe!
I flip and roll a couple more times in the air before I get close enough to the ground to dig my fingers into the stone and slowly skid to a halt.
"Woo!" My cheer is loud and echoey in the sudden, complete silence of the arena, but I don't pay that any attention. Instead, I turn to where Spinny is leaking smoke, "Are you ok, Spinny?"
Before Spinny can respond, there's a loud thump as something rattles the warehouse doors. A moment later it thumps again, but this time the thump is accompanied by the sound of wood splintering. A third thump sends the warehouse doors crashing to the ground and in rushes hound-dwarf in his shiny breastplate along with a dozen other not-as-shiny-breastplate-dwarves.
Hound-dwarf strides to the other side of the arena from where I am. He pauses a moment to narrow his eyes at me before looking up at everyone in the stands, "By the order of [Guard Captain] Lothar. This unlicensed event is being shut down."
For a moment, everything is silent, until someone in the crowd shouts, "It's the guards! Run!"
Then everything descends into complete chaos.
[] Be a brave [Hero] and fight the guards so Spinny can escape.
[] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
[] Be an honorable [Hero] and surrender.
[AN]
Who would have thought a late night event at the far end of the warehouse district wouldn't have the proper permits.
My stomach grumbles as I look over to the stands of good-smelling food. I could see—and smell—pieces of fried dough that were being dusted with a thick layer of something sugary and spicy. There were also skewers of meat roasting inside little red-stone ovens that smelled smokey and crispy and-
My genius mind pokes me. My head falls and a frown forms in my chest that only barely stays off my face. Even if I wanted to get something, I don't have any money. El takes care of that for us since she's the planner. Also because carrying around a whole bunch of coins would just make me jingle when I walked and I didn't want that. How was a secret-[Calamity] supposed to sneak up on anything when they could hear her jingle?
"Ok," I breathe out loudly and slowly, "Let's go meet your team."
"Heh," rescued-dwarf not-laughs and smiles a dessert-stealing smile. "I'm sure you'll like them even more than all the kebabs and auroch's ears you could eat."
I take one last look at the food stands and something inside me curls in on itself. The fried dough really did look just as floppy and chewy as an auroch's ear. That something curls up even further when one of the cook-dwarfs pulls out a skewer of meat marinated to a red so bright that practically screamed 'I'm delicious, eat me!'
My stomach grumbles loudly enough that a nearby not-shiny-dwarf turns to look at me. I ignore him and breathe out loudly and slowly again. Then I shut off my secret-[Calamity] nose—at least that way I wouldn't have to smell all the tasty things I couldn't eat—and follow after rescued-dwarf.
I'm sure her team was cool. Not as cool as mine, of course. And probably not as cool as having a giant stack of boxes that the vendors were filling with tournament-food and handing to the spectators about to see how awesome a soon-to-be-[Hero] I really was when I-
Once again, my genius mind pokes me. This time, though, instead of making a frown form in my chest, its idea puts a grin back on my face. After all, when I win the tournament, I can get my reward in food instead of gold.
It takes a few minutes for us to thread through the crowd, but eventually, we end up near the arena floor itself. I followed rescued-dwarf as she hops over the railing and over to what must be her team. I was almost certain they were because of the way she stops in front of them and grins. It was a grin that still had a bit of dessert-stealer in it, but also a bit of 'Fine, Ciel, I'll let you have a bite… one bite,' too.
"Despite Kazrik's best efforts, your fearless leader has arrived."
"Was wonderin' how that was gonna go with the whole… wait, who's the squirt? Did ya' make a new friend, princess?" I look up and up and up toward the source of the deep voice that was vibrating pleasantly in my chest and see a face framed by a pair of tusks jutting out that was staring down and down and down back at me.
"I'm Ciel. I'm an adventurer." This time I don't make the mistake of trying to introduce the rest of my team, although something funny still flutters in my chest. Just like it had last time. I do my best to ignore it, though. These were new people that I could show how awesome I was so they'd cheer for me even before I jumped in and beat up the tournament favorite and his opponent in a two-on-one fight.
I also had a question to ask. "Are you an orc? Because I've never met an orc that wasn't all 'Raagh! There's no way a little sprog like you could have eaten more than me! You must have cheated with magic!"
Rescued-dwarf hisses my name and then elbows me in the chest for some reason. Then she hisses again as her attack bounces off my [Thick Skin]. I glance over at her in confusion only to see her face all wrinkled up as she rubs her her bashing-elbow. But when she doesn't say anything else, I shrug and turn back to maybe-an-orc.
"Hah," his laugh echoes loudly enough that it sets a nearby table full of tiny metal weapons to jiggling. "Don't worry 'bout it, princess. I ain't offended."
"Name's Throk, half-pint an' I'm a half-orc." He sticks out his massive hand and I lift onto my tip-toes to shake it. His hand engulfs mine, but when he goes to shake it up and down, my [Superior Strength] stops him from shaking me along with it. "Guess ya' really are an adventurer, huh, squirt?"
"Yeah!" I wait until he frees my shaking-hand to fist-pump. "I'm the team leader for the best adventurer team in the world!"
"Don't hog the girl all to yourself, Throk," a girl-dwarf slips past definitely-an-orc's waist with a hip-bump that moves him a few inches to the side. She looks at me and then grins in a way that makes a pair of red gemstones studded into her lips crinkle together. "Hey there, cutie, I'm Venla."
"Don't get too close to her, Ciel," rescued-dwarf smiles her dessert-stealing smile, "she bites."
"Oh, princess, I don't remember you having a problem with bites when we went to that inn after the last tournament." gemstone-dwarf's voice drawls out in the same way El's did when she had to talk to peasants which was weird since princesses weren't peasants. That would be impossible.
Rescued-dwarf's face scrunches up into a frown for some reason, but I barely pay attention to that. Instead, my focus turns entirely to gemstone-dwarf. Biting people was wrong. Unless you were a [Villain] or a secret-[Calamity] who needed more than one bite to eat an annoying gold dragon blathering about something called noblesse oblige—whatever that was. Then it was acceptable.
But gemstone-dwarf wasn't one of my sisters in disguise. I'd have already gotten lots of hugs and maybe a lecture about being out past my bedtime if she were. So, if she really was going around and biting people that could mean only one thing… "you must be the secret-[Villain] making sure that adventurers who sneak out past their bedtime can't do anything fun!"
Maybe-an-orc laughs again, this time loud enough that one of the tiny weapons rattles all the way off the table. "She's got ya' there, Ven."
"Oh, please." gemstone-dwarf sidles closer to me, "Does this look like the face of a villain to you, cutie?"
I stare closely, taking in the grin that bares a pair of tiny little pointy teeth and eyes the shade of dried blood boring into me like she was a wolf looking at dinner. I shake my head, "Nope! You look a lot like my sister Ashe when she wakes up after drinking too much of her rotten grape juice."
Gemstone-dwarf blinks. Then her grin stretches even wider, and it looks like she's going to say something, but before she can, the last dwarf walks up and bops her on the back of the head.
"Ignore Ven, she may seem a bit feral but it's all for show. She's also, unfortunately, my sister." gemstone-dwarf's eyes narrow at the new dwarf, who's wearing a thick leather apron wrapped around a chest shaped just like a barrel. "I'm Grim."
"Grimgal. After our aunt, Galina, who ran away with a dwarf almost a century younger than her.," gemstone-dwarf proves she likes to steal desserts too with her smile. Maybe she was a [Villain] after all. But since she wasn't doing any evil [Villain] stuff right now, I'll just keep an eye on her. She might be the kind of [Villain] I could redeem by showing how awesome a soon-to-be-[Hero] I am.
"Ignore her," barrel-dwarf rumbles. "She slept through grammar and doesn't remember that -gal is an affix for descendent of."
"Yeah, well, at least I didn't forget to oil up the prop shaft before attaching it to the chassis."
I perk up as she mentions oil and take a closer look around. Was rescued-dwarf's team really going to fry something for us to eat during the tournament? Maybe they were a better team than I'd thought—still not as cool as the Little Calamities, but maybe they could be the third-best team. But despite my secret-[Calamity] senses, I don't see or smell anything that seems like food. I do see a little metal box set on wheels, though.
I turn back to the conversation right as probably-an-orc grins a tusky grin and pats rescued-dwarf on the head. "Relax, princess. Wasn't nothin' a couple of hours in the shop couldn't fix. Woulda' told ya' earlier, but it's been a bit challengin' to get a message to ya'."
Probably-an-orc must be really good at head-pats, though, because her face turns pink and then she just kind of makes a grumbly sound and huffs. "Fine. Fine. You're right, Throk. It's not that big a deal. I'm just frustrated with all the nonsense since the [Guards] found that Ironhelm spy."
If she needed to sneak around so badly, maybe I could tell her all about the ancient sneaking-secret of stealth-boxes. No. Wait. That was the kind of secret you couldn't share with so many other people around. Plus, I didn't know rescued-dwarf all that well. What if she decided to turn into a [Villain] once she learned about the ultimate-stealth-secret? I didn't want to have to come back here later and end stealth-dwarf's reign of terror. After all, Ashe was already working with Riri to play [Heroes] and [Villains] with me and that's way better fun than fighting a stealth-dwarf [Villain].
Thinking about fighting, though. If this was one of the teams competing in the tournament, then… "Hey, who's going to be fighting in the tournament?"
I watch as probably-an-orc and barrel-dwarf lift the not-fried-food-box onto the table. A frown forms in my chest and works its way up to my face. Was this really what they were going to compete in the tournament with? It's so small. The only way it could beat someone up is if you rolled it really fast at an opponent and banged their shins.
Still, since I was planning to compete anyway, maybe I could kill two gold dragons with one bite and have an actual team to represent rather than just jumping in during the finals. "Are you sure you want to compete with this? It looks like it'd break if I stomped too hard."
"Oh?" Gemstone-dwarf raises an eyebrow at me. "Sure you're not too dismissive of genuine dwarven engineering, miss adventurer?"
"Ahem," probably-an-orc grumbles out a sound like a cough but without coughing.
"Dwarven and orcish [Engineering]."
My head tilts in confusion as she says that last word, "I thought that's what they called the people who drive the trains in Raynwall? Is that your class too?"
"That's-"
"Hah!" Rescued-dwarf's laugh—not the fake laugh she sometimes used, but a real one—cuts off gemstone-dwarf's response.
Instead of answering my question, gemstone-dwarf is just kind of opening and closing her mouth without saying anything. Barrel-dwarf similarly, doesn't say anything, but in the spaces between rescued-dwarf's laughter, probably-an-orc explains.
"In Steamforge, an [Engineer]'s someone who builds things. Grim and Ven specialize in usin' manastones to power all sorts of things an' it's them that built the motor an' the drivetrain—that's the bit that spins the wheels."
He reaches over to tap on a bit of metal that looks like it's got a bunch of tiny teeth on it.
"I do a mite of forgin' on the side, so I made the chassis and armor with a special alloy I've been experimentin' on in my free time. Unfortunately, it ain't as strong as mithril… yet."
His huge, probably-orcish hands ball into a fist, and then he knocks loudly on the top of the not-fried-food-box. It tongs with the sound of armor being hit.
"Bri's our resident genius an' she did most of the plannin' an' math to make sure it all works. An' she'll be the one drivin' us to victory." Probably-an-orc grins his tusky grin at rescued-dwarf who stops laughing and turns redder than than a spark of [Annihilation] for some reason.
I nod as he and the rest of rescued-dwarf's team—except for rescued-dwarf, who's busy hiding her face in her hand and muttering things I can't quite hear—look at me. I guess their not-fried-food-box was a lot like El's cart, only smaller and with actual armor. Still, I was certain I could beat up my teammate's cart and I was certain I could beat this one up too. "Are you sure you don't want me to fight instead? A tournament arc sounds like a lot of fun."
"Ciel," rescued-dwarf lifts her head out of her hand and looks at me in the way El sometimes does when I say something so awesome she just can't understand it at all. "This is a tournament for automata, not people."
It takes me a moment to realize what she was implying. I look back and forth between the not-fried-food-box and rescued-dwarf's team. Then I look around the edges of the arena where a bunch of other teams were gathered around their own not-fried-food-boxes, some of which weren't shaped to fry food at all.
Oh. This isn't a tournament arc after all.
"Boo."
"And in this corner…"
I zone out the announcer-dwarf standing in the middle of the arena pointing at an automata that I bet couldn't even fry a donut if its life depended on it. This isn't the fun rescued-dwarf promised. Where was my chance to leap in from the stands and beat up both combatants and prove I belonged in the tournament even though I showed up too late to register? And even if I did jump in and stomp the automata into little pieces, I wouldn't be proclaimed the winner, since I wasn't even an automata.
"Here, cutie," gemstone-dwarf hands a tiny little cup to me. "The real reason we do this isn't to win. It's to get together and watch shit get wrecked."
"Ven," barrel-dwarf rumbles at her. "She can't be older than fourteen."
"Don't be such an ungreased gear, Grim," she grins that hungry-wolf grin of hers. "She's an adventurer. They drink like fish. Besides, the best part of all of this is getting to drink firewhiskey on the princess's coin."
"Ven-"
Barrel-dwarf rumbles at her again, but she just turns away and looks at me. "Bottom's up. I promise it'll make this a lot more fun."
Well, if that's the case. I bring the tiny cup up to my lips and gulp it down in one go. It tastes like fire and burning and smoke. It tastes like a rampage. A grin crosses my face.
"Can I have some more?"
"As much as you want, cutie," gemstone-dwarf's grin widens until it's nearly as wide across her face as mine. "Princess always brings plenty."
I down my fifth tiny cup of rampage-juice—gemstone-dwarf called it a shot, I was learning a lot of new words tonight—and slam it to the railing in front of me. After my second shot, my head had started to feel a bit fuzzy. After the fourth it had started feeling a bit swimmy. I was looking forward to seeing what more shots would do.
"3. 2. 1. Fight."
I turn my attention away from my tiny cup as as not-fried-food-box races toward flat-shield. The two collide and bounce apart in a shower of sparks. I roar and the crowd roars with me. Not-fried-food-box lands on its wheels and kicks up sand as it darts toward where flat-shield was spinning around in wobbly circles. Instead of banging into flat-shield again, not-fried-food-box drifts past it with inches to spare. Then it spins in a tight circle and a flap pops open on the side. A spinny blade shoots out from the side and all the sudden, it becomes spinny-saw-box as it charges back toward flat-shield.
I roar even louder as saws carve into one of flat-shield's wheels and leave it running around in circles like a wolf chasing its tail. Then spinny-saw-box turns like a [Calamity] coming back to stomp on the one building she somehow missed during her first rampage. It charges again and again and again, each charge ripping out flat-shield's wheels until flat-shield is lying motionless in the middle of the arena.
"And the winner is… Gears and Beers!"
My roar is swallowed up by the roar of the crowd around me, but that doesn't stop me from jumping up and down and waving my arms above my head.
We won! We won!
I down my seventh, no, eighth, no, definitely tenth shot, barely able to breathe as spinny-saw-box retreats from giant-hammer. Unlike flat-shield, giant-hammer had a big hammer strapped to its top, which probably wouldn't have done much, except that the hammer part was kind of hanging over the front so that giant-hammer could bash things really hard.
I had booed as loudly as I could when giant-hammer had bashed into spinny-saw-box's spinny-saw—and if it weren't for gemstone-dwarf giving me another cup of rampage-juice, I might have jumped down there and showed giant-hammer what a real bash was like—only to start roaring again when spinny-saw-box had popped out another one from its other side.
Since that first destroyed spinny-saw, the two automata had been circling each other in a game of [Calamity] and knight. Except instead of the knight always running away from eye-beams and breath-attacks and stompy-claws, they both took turns playing [Calamity] which didn't make any sense, but did cause me to roar even louder when it was spinny-saw-box's turn to be [Calamity].
My roar cuts through a moment of silence as spinny-saw-box twists to the side just enough to avoid an attack from giant-hammer. This was it. I could see it all unfolding in front of me. Spinny-saw-box would spin around and come in from the left. Just like that. Then it would change its curve just a bit to the side.
"Yeah! Go, spinny-box!"
Then it would bounce into giant-hammer with a glancing blow that was just close enough to angle the spinny-saw into the soft spot in giant-hammer's back and…
Smoke rises from giant-hammer and it makes a kind of whiny noise. "Yeah! Go Spinny! Cut them again! Spinny! Spinny!"
The crowd starts to roar along with me as Spinny turns giant-hammer into a pile of smoke and broken hammers.
"And the winner is…"
"SPIN-NY! SPIN-NY! SPIN-NY!"
"Come on, Spinny! Get up!" The railing cracks under my fingers, "Don't let Choppy hit you again!"
Despite my shouted orders, Choppy does end up circling back around and chopping a huge gash into one of Spinny's saws.
"Left! To the left!" Spinny ignores me and charges forward, right into another strike from Choppy's axe. My fingers tighten even further and stone starts to crumble.
Spinny's my new teammate! How could I just stand here watching while it's getting beat up by Choppy's axe? A [Hero] wouldn't just sit there doing nothing while their teammate was being hit with an axe. I have to do something!
"No! Spinny! No!" Choppy cleaves through Spinny's last saw with a blow so strong that strikes sparks off the ground. I can't take it any longer.
"Hold on Spinny! I'm coming!"
I land wobbly on the arena floor, my head fuzzy and floaty from all the rampage-juice, but what kind of teammate would I be if I let something like that stop me? Voices shout out something behind me, but I'm too focused on sprinting toward where Choppy is about to deliver the final strike to a smoking and helpless Spinny.
I stumble, the sand and my wobbly head making it impossible to keep upright. Choppy raises his axe for the execution.
Faster! I have to go faster!
"Raargh!" My roar echoes throughout the arena. [Brave Soul] activates. I feel stone beneath my feet as my toes shred through the soles of my shoes. Try and stop me now wobbly head!
My feet gouge into the soft stone beneath me. My legs bunch up. My grin widens until it's all teeth. The arena blurs around me as I explode forward.
I feel a soft bop on the top of my head as I collide with Choppy's axe and watch as half of Choppy's axe joins me in a flying, tumbling, roll.
I did it! Spinny's safe!
I flip and roll a couple more times in the air before I get close enough to the ground to dig my fingers into the stone and slowly skid to a halt.
"Woo!" My cheer is loud and echoey in the sudden, complete silence of the arena, but I don't pay that any attention. Instead, I turn to where Spinny is leaking smoke, "Are you ok, Spinny?"
Before Spinny can respond, there's a loud thump as something rattles the warehouse doors. A moment later it thumps again, but this time the thump is accompanied by the sound of wood splintering. A third thump sends the warehouse doors crashing to the ground and in rushes hound-dwarf in his shiny breastplate along with a dozen other not-as-shiny-breastplate-dwarves.
Hound-dwarf strides to the other side of the arena from where I am. He pauses a moment to narrow his eyes at me before looking up at everyone in the stands, "By the order of [Guard Captain] Lothar. This unlicensed event is being shut down."
For a moment, everything is silent, until someone in the crowd shouts, "It's the guards! Run!"
Then everything descends into complete chaos.
[] Be a brave [Hero] and fight the guards so Spinny can escape.
[] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
[] Be an honorable [Hero] and surrender.
[AN]
Who would have thought a late night event at the far end of the warehouse district wouldn't have the proper permits.
- Location
- Florida
[X] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
Escaping sneakily? While drunk? That should be funny.
Escaping sneakily? While drunk? That should be funny.
- Location
- United States
[X] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
Eternal_0bserver
(Unverified Bookworm)
- Location
- Earth, Northern Europe
[X] Be an honorable [Hero] and surrender.
Y'know we haven't seen Ciel mention how old she actually is, have we? Like there's been a couple points where I expected her to point it out, but nah.
Also; drunk Ciel is such a bad idea because she doesn't understand anything that hasn't been explicitly and thoroughly explained to her.
[X] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
Also; drunk Ciel is such a bad idea because she doesn't understand anything that hasn't been explicitly and thoroughly explained to her.
[X] Be a sneaky [Hero] and try to escape with the rest of the crowd.
While part of it is that I think Ciel's drunk shenanigans can be fun, the other part is that she's sealed that bit of herself away to be a hero. So instead of it being a literal black hole, it's more a figurative one.
There's some kinds of exposition that Ciel's pov really doesn't get across because she doesn't care about that sort of thing. That said, she's more or less as old as she looks: ~ 15 (at least in terms of existing on this plane, in whole, she's far older).