Ciel is tired of evil. The banal desires. The predictable ambition. She yearns for something more. Something different. Something closer to the books she reads at night.
The Villainess wants to be a Hero
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In which a Villainess turns in her Resignation
"I can't do this anymore. I quit." My voice cuts through the low susurration of conversation like a baneblade through the back of a [Paladin].
A helmet wrought from abyssal steel and wreathed in pale un-light turns, and a burning red stare fixes its eyes on me. "A poor jest, Ciel. Plans woven from years of plotting and the blackest of deeds are rapidly approaching fruition."
"And that's fine for you, Markus." I roll my eyes as sparks of un-light dance around the [Betrayer of Hope]. Always so dramatic. "But I've been sitting here for weeks with nothing to do but reading whatever bits of fiction the raiding parties don't destroy for kindling or for wiping their asses and watching the ogres fight over who has the bigger club… and I've grown just about bored enough to wish that were in fact a euphemism."
"If you truly wish some task, then I'm sure the [Lord of Fallen Flame]-"
"I don't. It's always 'go kill that millennia-old gold dragon, Ciel' or 'go destroy every fort on Strentholme's western border or 'go steal a sliver of the [Sunstone]' with him." Markus's helmet shifts as though he intends to interrupt with whatever shallow excuses he has on hand, but I merely raise my voice louder. "One time it was even 'Go assassinate the [Scion of Myth and Fable]' as though I'd ever actually leveled up in that boring class."
"Yet you've succeeded in every task set before you." The fallen knight's voice was sepulchral, overlaid with the wailing of the damned souls chained to his armor. It was a tone he only used when trying to be comforting, which was about the last thing I wanted at the moment. "It's why you have climbed so high in His favor."
"I don't care about his favor." My words silenced the last bit of noise still echoing throughout the meeting hall as a dozen eyes—all [Dark General] this and [Shadowy Vizier] that—turned their attention toward me. "This was supposed to be fun. A change of pace after my last little rampage. But instead, it's just the same boring megalomaniacal nonsense that seems to crop up all the time now."
"Watch your tongue, half-breed, or I'll nail it to the wall with your ugly head still attached." A two-bit rogue, one that had seemingly grown a bit too proud after his class had evolved from [Assassin] to [Blade of Malice]—or whatever the en vogue path was these days—flings the knife he'd been using to cut up a sadly overcooked steak toward me—and if the lackluster meals weren't reason enough to want to leave, I didn't know what was.
I let the blade flicker past my left eyelid without so much as blinking and sighed as I turned back to Markus. "This is exactly my point. Evil used to be elegant. It used to have standards. Now look at how far we've fallen. Fools like this are allowed to eat in the dining hall rather than being muzzled and kept in a suitably filthy kennel."
"You bit-"
The rest of the upstart's words are cut off in favor of the sound of him choking on blood as my aura carves a ragged opening into his throat. I watch with a vague flicker of interest as the assassin takes a few staggering steps forward, only to shake my head in disappointment as he fails to accomplish anything before flopping lifelessly to the ground.
Hopefully, he would be more useful in death than he had been in life. He could hardly be less.
"As I said, Markus. No standards."
The [Betrayer of Hope] jerks his head, and a pair of goblins race out of the shadows. Within moments, the assassin's body is stripped of valuables and dragged unceremoniously over to where a trio of wargs wait with bloodthirsty smiles. I nod in satisfaction at the understatedly brutal act, glad that at least one other person in this sad gathering understood that evil didn't have to be so crass and unimaginative.
"If there is anything I can do, Lady Ciel." Markus raises his voice slightly to be heard over the sound of feasting wargs. "You have but to say so, and you have my word that I will see it done."
The idea of an oath from the [Betrayer of Hope] was amusing, but I managed to keep the smirk I felt in my heart from showing on my face. It would have been unfair to Markus, after all. If you ignored that this was the man who had opened the gates of the Golden Citadel to its enemies—an act that spelled the end of a millennia-old bastion of the Good—Markus could have shamed even the [Hierophant of Summer] with his knightly bearing. Well, even if you didn't ignore the betrayal, he was a far more impressive knight than that foppish princeling could ever dream of being.
The point was that if more among this disappointing and motley crew of evil could have managed the [Betrayer of Hope]'s juxtaposition of quiet menace and courtly grace—or really shown any depth of character beyond the shallowest of puddles—I would not have been so eager to hand in my resignation.
Alas, such simple things were well beyond them, and so here I was.
"Fifteen years, Markus. That's how long I've drifted from coven to cabal to cartel to confederacy." I pause, pleased with my alliteration, but when the only response to my wordplay was the blank looks from the ne'er do wells around me I sigh in disappointment. Absolutely no standards. "In my time, I have committed deeds that would make even the most callous of the fools gathered at your master's table blanch."
The angry stares from said fools are accompanied by the sound of crunching bone as one of the wargs cracks the unnamed assassin's head between its powerful jaws like it was a grape. Well, maybe the wargs had a bit of a sense for the theatricality of evil, too, though I doubted they ever ate grapes. They tended to prefer fresh meat, but I certainly couldn't blame them for that—no one became a villain to eat their vegetables.
"And I'm just so bored of it all. So instead of yet more years skulking about in the dark for one interchangeable overlord after another…"
I pause here to let the anticipation for my soon-to-be proclamation build. Another crack of bone, this time the removal of a chunk of hip bone, followed by the gnawing sound of a warg trying to get at the marrow inside, provides an ominous punctuation. I smile as a lifetime of accumulated malice flows out of me in a thick, blood-tinged miasma, and I speak words that I'm certain will irrevocably change the course of this continent.
"I'm going to be a [Hero]!"
I raise my hands triumphantly and smirk at the stunned faces of fools who have been completely overwhelmed by the genius of my idea. Even the wargs seemed to sense the momentousness of the occasion as they stepped back from the grisly remains of their dinner so as not to draw attention away from my proclamation.
After all, in all my reading before this night, I could find only a handful of examples of a villain turning coat to good, and all of them had been forced into it after being brutalized by the [Hero]. Even then, no villain had ever dared to do it in the very heart of an evil overlord's domain.
This was a moment for the history books, and I was the center of it.
"Lady Ciel." Un-light flickers and sparks around Markus as he slowly rises to his feet. "You have taken this jest too far."
"It's not a jest, Markus. I truly have grown bored with the banality of evil. Its designs are so uninspired, its goals so predictable."
Case in point: the rabble that had joined this most recent overlord looking for nothing more than gold to sate their basest indulgences. And above them, only by virtue of being ever so slightly less utterly insignificant in his desires and plans, stood the [Lord of Fallen Flame].
A man who thought the conquest of a wasteland somehow marked him as better than the scores of those who had gone before him. A man who had utterly ignored the task imbued into the cursed crown that he wore: to douse the sun itself and consign everyone to an eternity of darkness—as if that was a goal completely unworthy of pursuing—in favor of squatting in a decrepit castle in the middle of nowhere.
"I will give you a moment to retract your blasphemous betrayal, Lady Ciel." Reality screams as a blade wreathed in blackened flame carves its way out of whatever hell it was stored in and falls into the [Betrayer of Hope]'s hand.
"Oh?"
I let the bloodlust simmering in my soul shine forth in an amused smirk. Chairs scrape against the stone floor as the rabble scrambles away from the haze of violence slowly wafting off of me. Absolutely no standards at all.
"Did you know I was once a [Calamity of Sin]?" The [Betrayer's Sword] in Markus's hand wavers slightly before steadying, and I let my smirk widen. "If you wish to fight. I will show you my [Sin]... and the magnitude of your folly."
[] Gluttony. "When I drank deep from the well of Urdr, I learned a terrible secret and gained a wondrous legacy. I am the [Devourer of Dead Gods], and nothing is safe from my hunger."
[] Greed. "I have defeated a thousand foes. And as they lay dying, I have partaken of their flesh and their essence. I am the [Thousand Chimera]. To fight me is to battle against every foe I have overcome."
[] Sloth. "Do you feel that, Markus? The weight of your sword grows heavy. Your eyes grow dim. Lay your head down and rest within the [Shroud of Eternal Slumber]. I promise you won't feel a thing."
[] Pride. "I stole the [Dance of the Monkey King] from the heavenly sage himself. I am faster than the wind, more graceful than starlight. When I attack, the only thing you'll see will be your body as your head rolls away from it."
[] Wrath. "Heh. Did you ever wonder where your boss's pitiful flame came from? No? Well, regardless. Come, and I will burn your very soul within the [Primordial Conflagration]."
[] Lust. "The lich king Sheo'Gorath himself tried to break me. He failed, and I took his [Legion of the Dead] from him for the affront. If you think yourself the match for the greatest army the world has known, then come and test yourself against it."
[] Envy. "All I see is mine, kept within my [Infinite Vault]. Can your armor withstand a blow from the [Phoenix Feather Fan]? Can your blade pierce the [Seven Rings that Bind Heaven]?"
I frown at the pile of rubble that once belonged to the [Lord of Fallen Flame]. Well, perhaps it still did. Honestly, I thought the streamers of smoke and patches of black flame gave the former castle an air that was much more in keeping with his uninspired level of evilness. I somehow doubted the now unhoused [Overlord] would feel the same, but to each their own, I suppose.
A groan echoes sepulchrally from my shoulder, drawing my thoughts back to the present. I shrug Markus's body off my shoulder, look down at the pile of dented metal and oddly—and probably rather painfully—bent limbs, and sigh. This was a knight who deserved more than his half-wit master. Unfortunately, the choice to follow a fool was his to make, not mine.
Even more unfortunately, I couldn't exactly take him along with me. It would be hard to be a [Hero] with someone like the [Betrayer of Hope] tagging along like my squire. People would ask questions.
I poke at him with a toe, but he doesn't respond. So I wind up a touch more and kick hard enough to add yet another dent to the man's poor armor—oh well, it would take the fallen knight days to even out everything regardless—and he groans again. Good. I hardly wanted my first act as a budding [Hero] to be killing someone. I'd read enough books to know where that road went, and the last thing I wanted to do was straddle the line between hero and villain as an anti-hero—even if I did look good in black.
Now, all I needed to do was leave before the lord of this pile of rubble returned from whatever dark negotiation he'd been leading. Not because I was worried about his pitiful flame but rather because I still needed him. After all, what kind of [Hero] would I be without a villain to vanquish?
Magic seeps out from me and drips down onto the rocks beneath my feet, forming a spell circle inscribed with demonic runes glowing a violent shade of blood red. I ignore the screeching and wailing of reality as it twists and shatters around me and step forward, away from the Northern Wastes and into a land altogether different from its sparse and foreboding steppes.
The magic from my [Hellfire Portal] fades with a hiss of black smoke and the whisper of damned souls, both of which I ignore in favor of looking at the far distant, gleaming spires of Reitzland peaking out over a thick canopy of trees.
I take in a breath of the fresh forest air and smile as the sweet taste of nostalgia dances in my thoughts. Oh, to be a young and innocent Calamity once again terrorizing the Jewel of Sildiah. My smile widens as I think back to that halcyon day when all the preeminent forces of that grand city had organized to lay a trap for me.
And the rivers of blood that had flowed when they failed.
For a moment, I allow myself to sink into that fond reminiscence, but only for a moment. I had plans for my erstwhile stomping ground. After all, where better to enact my plan to become a [Hero] than in the city that housed the Headquarters of the Adventurer's Guild itself?
It was fortunate that I'd managed to swipe a treasure trove of heroic stories from a raider's bonfire since, without those guidebooks, I wouldn't have even the faintest idea of where to begin. But since I had committed each of those stories to my infallible memory, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
First, I would need to become an adventurer, a task as simple as signing some paperwork and accepting a metal bracelet from a receptionist. Next, I would need to find a team of pleasantly inoffensive sidekicks that were in no way interested in stealing the spotlight from me. The alternative of picking a team that would eventually betray me held a certain intrigue, but I'd ultimately decided that sort of thing would eventually lead to exactly the kind of edginess I was trying to avoid.
The hardest task—though, based on my reading, not a difficult one at all—would happen after I joined the guild and gathered a team. It was then that I'd have to find a rusty weapon that was actually an ancient relic and embark upon a quest to discover how to restore it or uncover a long-lost dungeon and free the dying goddess trapped within to become a [Hero]. Unfortunately, my books were surprisingly inconsistent on this step, but I'd become a villain after my first rampage, so how hard could it be to become a [Hero]?
And once I was a [Hero], all that remained was for me to vanquish an ancient, unnamed evil—or if my plan played out as I expected it to, a certain [Lord of Fallen Flame]—and then I would get the girl. What I was supposed to do with a girl when I got her was a mystery my books never expounded upon, but I'm certain I could rely upon my experience as a [Calamity] to figure it out when I got to that point.
Satisfied with my foolproof plan, I nod to myself, turn to where a sliver of paved road snakes through the forest to the capital, and start walking.
I make it down through the thick forest to the road without knocking over more than a few trees that had been in my way before a flicker of something flutters through my thoughts. It almost felt like I was forgetting something. But it couldn't be that important, or I'd have remembered it.
My memory was, after all, immaculate.
[AN]
In homage to a number of Litrpg stories that don't take themselves all that seriously, I humbly submit this quest.
A helmet wrought from abyssal steel and wreathed in pale un-light turns, and a burning red stare fixes its eyes on me. "A poor jest, Ciel. Plans woven from years of plotting and the blackest of deeds are rapidly approaching fruition."
"And that's fine for you, Markus." I roll my eyes as sparks of un-light dance around the [Betrayer of Hope]. Always so dramatic. "But I've been sitting here for weeks with nothing to do but reading whatever bits of fiction the raiding parties don't destroy for kindling or for wiping their asses and watching the ogres fight over who has the bigger club… and I've grown just about bored enough to wish that were in fact a euphemism."
"If you truly wish some task, then I'm sure the [Lord of Fallen Flame]-"
"I don't. It's always 'go kill that millennia-old gold dragon, Ciel' or 'go destroy every fort on Strentholme's western border or 'go steal a sliver of the [Sunstone]' with him." Markus's helmet shifts as though he intends to interrupt with whatever shallow excuses he has on hand, but I merely raise my voice louder. "One time it was even 'Go assassinate the [Scion of Myth and Fable]' as though I'd ever actually leveled up in that boring class."
"Yet you've succeeded in every task set before you." The fallen knight's voice was sepulchral, overlaid with the wailing of the damned souls chained to his armor. It was a tone he only used when trying to be comforting, which was about the last thing I wanted at the moment. "It's why you have climbed so high in His favor."
"I don't care about his favor." My words silenced the last bit of noise still echoing throughout the meeting hall as a dozen eyes—all [Dark General] this and [Shadowy Vizier] that—turned their attention toward me. "This was supposed to be fun. A change of pace after my last little rampage. But instead, it's just the same boring megalomaniacal nonsense that seems to crop up all the time now."
"Watch your tongue, half-breed, or I'll nail it to the wall with your ugly head still attached." A two-bit rogue, one that had seemingly grown a bit too proud after his class had evolved from [Assassin] to [Blade of Malice]—or whatever the en vogue path was these days—flings the knife he'd been using to cut up a sadly overcooked steak toward me—and if the lackluster meals weren't reason enough to want to leave, I didn't know what was.
I let the blade flicker past my left eyelid without so much as blinking and sighed as I turned back to Markus. "This is exactly my point. Evil used to be elegant. It used to have standards. Now look at how far we've fallen. Fools like this are allowed to eat in the dining hall rather than being muzzled and kept in a suitably filthy kennel."
"You bit-"
The rest of the upstart's words are cut off in favor of the sound of him choking on blood as my aura carves a ragged opening into his throat. I watch with a vague flicker of interest as the assassin takes a few staggering steps forward, only to shake my head in disappointment as he fails to accomplish anything before flopping lifelessly to the ground.
Hopefully, he would be more useful in death than he had been in life. He could hardly be less.
"As I said, Markus. No standards."
The [Betrayer of Hope] jerks his head, and a pair of goblins race out of the shadows. Within moments, the assassin's body is stripped of valuables and dragged unceremoniously over to where a trio of wargs wait with bloodthirsty smiles. I nod in satisfaction at the understatedly brutal act, glad that at least one other person in this sad gathering understood that evil didn't have to be so crass and unimaginative.
"If there is anything I can do, Lady Ciel." Markus raises his voice slightly to be heard over the sound of feasting wargs. "You have but to say so, and you have my word that I will see it done."
The idea of an oath from the [Betrayer of Hope] was amusing, but I managed to keep the smirk I felt in my heart from showing on my face. It would have been unfair to Markus, after all. If you ignored that this was the man who had opened the gates of the Golden Citadel to its enemies—an act that spelled the end of a millennia-old bastion of the Good—Markus could have shamed even the [Hierophant of Summer] with his knightly bearing. Well, even if you didn't ignore the betrayal, he was a far more impressive knight than that foppish princeling could ever dream of being.
The point was that if more among this disappointing and motley crew of evil could have managed the [Betrayer of Hope]'s juxtaposition of quiet menace and courtly grace—or really shown any depth of character beyond the shallowest of puddles—I would not have been so eager to hand in my resignation.
Alas, such simple things were well beyond them, and so here I was.
"Fifteen years, Markus. That's how long I've drifted from coven to cabal to cartel to confederacy." I pause, pleased with my alliteration, but when the only response to my wordplay was the blank looks from the ne'er do wells around me I sigh in disappointment. Absolutely no standards. "In my time, I have committed deeds that would make even the most callous of the fools gathered at your master's table blanch."
The angry stares from said fools are accompanied by the sound of crunching bone as one of the wargs cracks the unnamed assassin's head between its powerful jaws like it was a grape. Well, maybe the wargs had a bit of a sense for the theatricality of evil, too, though I doubted they ever ate grapes. They tended to prefer fresh meat, but I certainly couldn't blame them for that—no one became a villain to eat their vegetables.
"And I'm just so bored of it all. So instead of yet more years skulking about in the dark for one interchangeable overlord after another…"
I pause here to let the anticipation for my soon-to-be proclamation build. Another crack of bone, this time the removal of a chunk of hip bone, followed by the gnawing sound of a warg trying to get at the marrow inside, provides an ominous punctuation. I smile as a lifetime of accumulated malice flows out of me in a thick, blood-tinged miasma, and I speak words that I'm certain will irrevocably change the course of this continent.
"I'm going to be a [Hero]!"
I raise my hands triumphantly and smirk at the stunned faces of fools who have been completely overwhelmed by the genius of my idea. Even the wargs seemed to sense the momentousness of the occasion as they stepped back from the grisly remains of their dinner so as not to draw attention away from my proclamation.
After all, in all my reading before this night, I could find only a handful of examples of a villain turning coat to good, and all of them had been forced into it after being brutalized by the [Hero]. Even then, no villain had ever dared to do it in the very heart of an evil overlord's domain.
This was a moment for the history books, and I was the center of it.
"Lady Ciel." Un-light flickers and sparks around Markus as he slowly rises to his feet. "You have taken this jest too far."
"It's not a jest, Markus. I truly have grown bored with the banality of evil. Its designs are so uninspired, its goals so predictable."
Case in point: the rabble that had joined this most recent overlord looking for nothing more than gold to sate their basest indulgences. And above them, only by virtue of being ever so slightly less utterly insignificant in his desires and plans, stood the [Lord of Fallen Flame].
A man who thought the conquest of a wasteland somehow marked him as better than the scores of those who had gone before him. A man who had utterly ignored the task imbued into the cursed crown that he wore: to douse the sun itself and consign everyone to an eternity of darkness—as if that was a goal completely unworthy of pursuing—in favor of squatting in a decrepit castle in the middle of nowhere.
"I will give you a moment to retract your blasphemous betrayal, Lady Ciel." Reality screams as a blade wreathed in blackened flame carves its way out of whatever hell it was stored in and falls into the [Betrayer of Hope]'s hand.
"Oh?"
I let the bloodlust simmering in my soul shine forth in an amused smirk. Chairs scrape against the stone floor as the rabble scrambles away from the haze of violence slowly wafting off of me. Absolutely no standards at all.
"Did you know I was once a [Calamity of Sin]?" The [Betrayer's Sword] in Markus's hand wavers slightly before steadying, and I let my smirk widen. "If you wish to fight. I will show you my [Sin]... and the magnitude of your folly."
[] Gluttony. "When I drank deep from the well of Urdr, I learned a terrible secret and gained a wondrous legacy. I am the [Devourer of Dead Gods], and nothing is safe from my hunger."
[] Greed. "I have defeated a thousand foes. And as they lay dying, I have partaken of their flesh and their essence. I am the [Thousand Chimera]. To fight me is to battle against every foe I have overcome."
[] Sloth. "Do you feel that, Markus? The weight of your sword grows heavy. Your eyes grow dim. Lay your head down and rest within the [Shroud of Eternal Slumber]. I promise you won't feel a thing."
[] Pride. "I stole the [Dance of the Monkey King] from the heavenly sage himself. I am faster than the wind, more graceful than starlight. When I attack, the only thing you'll see will be your body as your head rolls away from it."
[] Wrath. "Heh. Did you ever wonder where your boss's pitiful flame came from? No? Well, regardless. Come, and I will burn your very soul within the [Primordial Conflagration]."
[] Lust. "The lich king Sheo'Gorath himself tried to break me. He failed, and I took his [Legion of the Dead] from him for the affront. If you think yourself the match for the greatest army the world has known, then come and test yourself against it."
[] Envy. "All I see is mine, kept within my [Infinite Vault]. Can your armor withstand a blow from the [Phoenix Feather Fan]? Can your blade pierce the [Seven Rings that Bind Heaven]?"
I frown at the pile of rubble that once belonged to the [Lord of Fallen Flame]. Well, perhaps it still did. Honestly, I thought the streamers of smoke and patches of black flame gave the former castle an air that was much more in keeping with his uninspired level of evilness. I somehow doubted the now unhoused [Overlord] would feel the same, but to each their own, I suppose.
A groan echoes sepulchrally from my shoulder, drawing my thoughts back to the present. I shrug Markus's body off my shoulder, look down at the pile of dented metal and oddly—and probably rather painfully—bent limbs, and sigh. This was a knight who deserved more than his half-wit master. Unfortunately, the choice to follow a fool was his to make, not mine.
Even more unfortunately, I couldn't exactly take him along with me. It would be hard to be a [Hero] with someone like the [Betrayer of Hope] tagging along like my squire. People would ask questions.
I poke at him with a toe, but he doesn't respond. So I wind up a touch more and kick hard enough to add yet another dent to the man's poor armor—oh well, it would take the fallen knight days to even out everything regardless—and he groans again. Good. I hardly wanted my first act as a budding [Hero] to be killing someone. I'd read enough books to know where that road went, and the last thing I wanted to do was straddle the line between hero and villain as an anti-hero—even if I did look good in black.
Now, all I needed to do was leave before the lord of this pile of rubble returned from whatever dark negotiation he'd been leading. Not because I was worried about his pitiful flame but rather because I still needed him. After all, what kind of [Hero] would I be without a villain to vanquish?
Magic seeps out from me and drips down onto the rocks beneath my feet, forming a spell circle inscribed with demonic runes glowing a violent shade of blood red. I ignore the screeching and wailing of reality as it twists and shatters around me and step forward, away from the Northern Wastes and into a land altogether different from its sparse and foreboding steppes.
The magic from my [Hellfire Portal] fades with a hiss of black smoke and the whisper of damned souls, both of which I ignore in favor of looking at the far distant, gleaming spires of Reitzland peaking out over a thick canopy of trees.
I take in a breath of the fresh forest air and smile as the sweet taste of nostalgia dances in my thoughts. Oh, to be a young and innocent Calamity once again terrorizing the Jewel of Sildiah. My smile widens as I think back to that halcyon day when all the preeminent forces of that grand city had organized to lay a trap for me.
And the rivers of blood that had flowed when they failed.
For a moment, I allow myself to sink into that fond reminiscence, but only for a moment. I had plans for my erstwhile stomping ground. After all, where better to enact my plan to become a [Hero] than in the city that housed the Headquarters of the Adventurer's Guild itself?
It was fortunate that I'd managed to swipe a treasure trove of heroic stories from a raider's bonfire since, without those guidebooks, I wouldn't have even the faintest idea of where to begin. But since I had committed each of those stories to my infallible memory, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
First, I would need to become an adventurer, a task as simple as signing some paperwork and accepting a metal bracelet from a receptionist. Next, I would need to find a team of pleasantly inoffensive sidekicks that were in no way interested in stealing the spotlight from me. The alternative of picking a team that would eventually betray me held a certain intrigue, but I'd ultimately decided that sort of thing would eventually lead to exactly the kind of edginess I was trying to avoid.
The hardest task—though, based on my reading, not a difficult one at all—would happen after I joined the guild and gathered a team. It was then that I'd have to find a rusty weapon that was actually an ancient relic and embark upon a quest to discover how to restore it or uncover a long-lost dungeon and free the dying goddess trapped within to become a [Hero]. Unfortunately, my books were surprisingly inconsistent on this step, but I'd become a villain after my first rampage, so how hard could it be to become a [Hero]?
And once I was a [Hero], all that remained was for me to vanquish an ancient, unnamed evil—or if my plan played out as I expected it to, a certain [Lord of Fallen Flame]—and then I would get the girl. What I was supposed to do with a girl when I got her was a mystery my books never expounded upon, but I'm certain I could rely upon my experience as a [Calamity] to figure it out when I got to that point.
Satisfied with my foolproof plan, I nod to myself, turn to where a sliver of paved road snakes through the forest to the capital, and start walking.
I make it down through the thick forest to the road without knocking over more than a few trees that had been in my way before a flicker of something flutters through my thoughts. It almost felt like I was forgetting something. But it couldn't be that important, or I'd have remembered it.
My memory was, after all, immaculate.
[AN]
In homage to a number of Litrpg stories that don't take themselves all that seriously, I humbly submit this quest.
In which a Villaines takes a pleasant walk
Birds were chirping. Insects were buzzing. The wind was rustling gently through my hair. It was a beautiful day to become a [Hero]. More than that, well more than just that, it reminded me of back when I was a freshly hatched [Calamity] playing with my sisters. Long before I had been forced to grow up and embark upon the ultimately boring and predictable path of a villain.
I lift my head to follow a ray of sunlight poking through the forest canopy and let it dance upon my pallid skin. Despite spending all my time outside, my skin had never darkened a single shade from its pale, almost bone-white hue. But what did an inability to tan matter when compared to the fact that I was done? Done with internecine plotting and sudden yet inevitable betrayals. Done with being a villain altogether.
I could feel my fifteen years of experience as an itinerant example of villainy lifting from my shoulders, and I smile. It was time for a new me. A kinder, gentler, dare I say it, more innocent me.
A me that would mesh well with the stories of a bright-eyed and innocent young lad—though I never understood why so many [Heroes] were boys, girl [Calamities] needed role models too—thrust out into the world to make his way.
Yes. I would be a naive youth whose only goal in life was to bring peace to these lands fraught with danger. And then I would become a [Hero] adored by all and-
The sound of thundering hooves interrupts my introspection and draws my attention to what appeared to be a hastily assembled group of knights spurring their horses furiously as they galloped down the road toward where I was.
In an instant, well-honed instinct kicked in, and my aura pools around my left hand like a bloodstained claw. A bloodthirsty smile crosses my face as I hop down from the stone bricks I had been balancing on, and I take one step toward the center of the road. It had been too long since I had rampaged against a knightly order, and while a half-dozen knights wasn't much to whet the appetite. Not literally, of course. I didn't eat people; I had standards. It would be a perfect palate cleanser after my time with that fool of an overlord.
The knights draw within a hundred paces, coincidentally the maximum range for my [Aura: Caress of the Calamity], and I feel my heart begin to flutter in excitement. It really had been far too long.
"Forgive us, young one, but I would ask that you move to the edge of the road. We are on an urgent task that we cannot tarry from."
The deep baritone shout of the lead knight shocks me out of my bloodlust, and I hastily pull back the invisible tendrils of hate and malice that were reaching out to garrote the knights, most likely by decapitating them.
What was I thinking? I was going to be a [Hero]. I couldn't go around indiscriminately massacring squads of knights any longer—especially not on the first day.
And so, I step back to the side of the road and tuck my left hand, still glowing with a fell light behind my back—my aura was always a bit slow to fade away once awoken—and raise my right hand in a cheerful wave. The drum of hooves clattering against paving stones rattles in my chest, but despite the thrill of it, I keep waving as the knight troupe gallops past. I even smile brightly as one of the knights turns to raise his hand to me in an elegant salute.
As the last of the band passes me, my eyes flicker over to the pennon trailing behind the knight who had shouted at me and make a note of a blue trident topped with candles set atop a yellow background. I'd have to find out what order he belonged to and find some way to reward him. My quest to become a [Hero] might have ended before it even began were it not for that timely interruption.
As I watch the knights ride up a gentle hill and out of sight, I let my waving hand fall to my chest, where I can still feel the swift pounding of my heart. Next time I came across one of my sisters, I'd have to let them know how much more exciting knights were when they weren't screaming in pain and trying to stuff entrails back inside themselves.
I could hardly wait for the looks of amazement and jealousy when I shared that pearl of wisdom with them.
Still, I do kind of wonder what had dragged them out of the city with such urgency. Besides the former me—and there wasn't much anyone could do about a [Calamity] when we came to play—Reitzland was one of the safest places in the continent.
Wait. Didn't they have a network of detection wards that spread for a hundred leagues in every direction? A detection ward specifically keyed to demonic and necromantic spellcraft—among others. I check my infallible memory and nod. Reitzland did have a multiphasic array of alarms and sensors. I even remember a mage gloating about it before her ambush had ended in blood and gore—hers.
Well, it would take a while for those knights to navigate through the dense forest, and that meant I had plenty of time to make it to the city before they found my portal site and sent for a mage to interpret the residue of hellfire it had left behind. However, as I allow myself a moment of contentment at that conclusion, my infallible memory reminds me that I'd knocked down a bunch of trees on my way to the road; something that would make their path much easier than it would have been otherwise.
With a slight frown, I ponder sacrificing my meandering pace and speeding up, but only for a moment before shaking my head and continuing as I had been. It had been far too long since I had just enjoyed a nice walk in the forest, and I wasn't about to sacrifice it for something as trivial as a handful of knights.
Besides, I should be fine. Other than Markus and his oaf of a master—and my sisters, too, I suppose—there wasn't anyone living or even undead who knew what I looked like. Sure, plenty of people could recognize the [Calamity of Gluttony], but that wasn't me any longer. So they didn't count.
An hour later, the sun is well overhead, but I'm less than halfway to the city despite my blistering pace. On another day, that fact would make me miss the tree-sized legs of my other form that let me jump for leagues in a single bound, but not today. There were so many things to see.
There were people—not knights or soldiers or warmages, but ordinary people—clumped together in groups and staring anxiously into the depths of the forest. Some had even called out to me and asked me to join them, saying things like 'Where are your parents, little girl?' or 'Come walk with us where it's safer' or 'You shouldn't be alone; the knights are out looking for something,' but I was a soon-to-be [Hero], and I knew that [Heroes] could only group up with their party members, so I'd waved happily at those people and then moved on.
More interesting than the people I passed were the wide variety of small furry creatures that I'd never seen before when wandering about in my other form—probably because I was so tall and they were so small. Unfortunately, none of them had wanted to come close enough so that I could pet them, which had been a shame until I had hit on the brilliant idea to reach out with my aura and grab one of the ones with a puffy tail. I'd named him Markus, after the knight I couldn't take with me, and it had only taken a few minutes of petting before he was happy to sit motionless on my shoulder.
In addition to the people and furry critters, bunches of pretty flowers seemed to grow in the space between where the road ended and the forest began. And while flowers were something I'd seen before, my other form's giant fingers made it difficult to pluck them—at least without plucking everything around them. And so, with a discerning eye, I had stopped at each bunch to look for the prettiest among them. Because sometimes [Heroes] became [Kings], I wanted to be prepared with my own crown. Plus, the rainbow of colors I got when I fused the flowers together with my aura made them sparkle quite elegantly.
I look down at the crown in my hands and then up at the sky above me. The day was moving quickly toward the afternoon, and if I remembered correctly—and with my immaculate memory, I was sure I did—I still had another hour or so left before I reached Reitzland. Less if I picked up my pace. And while I wasn't exactly in a hurry, I couldn't become a [Hero] without first becoming an adventurer, and I couldn't do that until I got to the city.
Still, some things couldn't be rushed, and making sure my crown was perfect was one of them. So, instead of moving on, I cast a critical eye over my crown. Despite looking for flaws in the way I had once searched for the loose strings of a rival's plot, I couldn't find a single one—no doubt evidence of my flawless ability as a craftswoman. And so, like my oldest sister, after she'd plundered a dragon's aery, I triumphantly set my crown atop my head.
I look over at Markus—the furry one, not the knight, though I was growing rather more content with the puffy-tailed version. Despite the pitter-patter of his little heart, he still seemed perfectly happy to sit utterly motionless on my shoulder. I made a mental note that when we got to Reitzland, I'd have to make sure he got some exercise, but for now, if he wanted to be lazy and let me do all the walking, I supposed that was fine. I had much longer legs, after all.
The sun was starting to really dip in the sky by the time the road I was on finally wended its way out from the cover of the forest and into sweeping, open plains.
I pause for a moment and lift my finger to point at a gentle scar in the landscape, still glowing with a malevolent purple flame and ringed by layer upon layer of fencing.
"See that, Markus." I pause to put my hand to my crown as the wind picks up and whips through my hair, and then return to pointing. "That's where an innocent [Calamity] taking a nap was rudely assaulted by an army of knights and mages and forced to evolve into her ultimate class: [Calamity of Gluttony]."
To be truthful—which was an essential trait to being a [Hero]—the [Calamity] was me, but I wanted to spare furry-Markus the horror of knowing he was traveling with such a prolific villain. Besides, since I wasn't a [Calamity] any longer, I think I was still technically telling the truth. Which I knew from reading about being a [Hero] and actually being a villain was the best kind of truth.
Markus seems to take me pointing out the malefic landmark with the same stoic stillness he seemed to display for everything. I was impressed. I'd seen people run screaming for their lives at the mere mention of a [Calamity], yet to see my furry companion so untroubled by it. I had truly chosen well when I'd randomly snatched him from his tree.
I step out of the comfortable shade of the forest and stop motionless as a cascade of golden sparks dance around my outstretched foot.
That was different. When had Reitzland created such a delightful way to welcome travelers to their city? I let my foot continue to the ground and watch happily as the golden sparks multiply in size and number.
While I was content to watch the welcoming display, my furred companion shifts minutely on my shoulder. I turn to look at him, but his gaze is also locked on my shoe. And so I turn back to look at the magical sparks, wondering what Markus had fixed his inscrutable stare upon, only to catch the scent of smoldering leather.
My smile turns into a frown. The magic was burning my shoe. That wasn't good. Without my shoes, my feet would get dirty. I pull my foot back and watch the sparks slowly fade.
Sparks that burned people's clothing was a weird way to welcome someone to the city. Unless they wanted the people to be naked when they arrived. If that were the case, I may need to put my quest to become a [Hero] away for a minute and go on a little rampage. That kind of behavior was unacceptable for [Heroes] and villains.
My non-smoldering foot taps as I ponder the quandary in front of me. The magic in those sparks was far too pitiful to actually harm me, but it was clearly enough to burn my clothes.
I could wrap myself in my aura. That would keep my outfit from getting even the slightest bit singed, but that band of knights that had passed by earlier had reminded me of an important point. I could hardly be considered a [Hero] if I was still going to use my [Calamity] skills. Those two things just didn't mix.
I turn my head to look at Markus and wait as his furry face slowly turns toward me. "Do you want to see if this ward includes fur in its list of clothing to burn?"
Markus stares at me, wide-eyed and unflinching, as he refuses to move. I smile, happy to have such a brave furry companion and nod in acceptance of his decision. "That's fair. I don't think you'd look anywhere near as cute without your puffy tail."
I reach out with my hand this time, pressing forward until a single, solitary spark settles on the end of my finger. I wrap it in a quick [Stasis Field]—hardly my best work, but then my older sister was the only one of us who really enjoyed magic—and bring it up to my face.
My eyes blur as [Dissection of the Root] films across my sight. The mana within the golden spark shifts into a kaleidoscope of letters and numbers and I frown as the meaning behind the spell becomes clear. Someone in Reitzland—probably the Mage's College—had cast a spell that would attack and destroy any being tainted by evil that wandered too close to the city. My frown deepened further as I realized I was somehow included in that number even though I clearly wasn't a [Calamity] any longer.
I quickly bury a flicker of hurt beneath a bonfire of upset as my frown grows into a glare. If they wanted to target a soon-to-be [Hero] as though she were still a garden-variety [Calamity], then I'd show them. I'd show them all.
My arm starts to morph, losing the hue and color of human flesh in favor of the raw Wyrd with which I'd been made. I would rampage just long enough to shatter this spell—and maybe the city itself—and then I'd try again somewhere more welcoming of reformed villains.
[Balefire] gathers about my fists and starts to climb up my arm as my transformation into the [Calamity of Gluttony] progresses. I breathe out a seething anger and shape my aura to shred the pitiful ward they'd cast against me.
I was a [Hero]. How dare they treat me like this.
A ball of purest darkness coalesces in my hand and turns day into night as it sucks in the light from the afternoon sun. From the size of a child's ball to a horse to a house, my attack grows until, at last, it has gathered enough energy to eradicate this ungrateful city from existence.
I-
"Chirp."
I stop dead. The ball of magic and raw hate forming in my hands dissipates as though it had never existed. I had almost… I swallow slowly. How could I be a [Hero] if I were so ready to destroy a city in a fit of pique?
"Thank you, Markus." I turn toward my companion only to let my eyes drop at the wide-eyed, accusing stare. "You're right. I-I overreacted."
The words were difficult to force out. I had never been in the wrong before, but that was as a [Calamity]—something I no longer was.
I wanted to be a [Hero], and my reading had been very clear that [Heroes] could be wrong—rarely, to be fair, but they could be. And when they were wrong, it was a key trait of a [Hero] that they learn from their mistakes so they do not repeat them when it matters. So that's what I had to do here. Learn from my mistake so that I would never repeat it.
I consider asking Markus for his advice but discard that idea almost as soon as it forms. If I were to be a [Hero], I would need to rise above this challenge on my own merit.
For a long moment, despite my brilliant mind branching off in a thousand different directions, I'm stumped. This wasn't like baiting a dragon into a rage by devouring her eggs. Nor was it like waiting motionlessly underwater until a convoy of ships passed overhead. It was something internal. And…
A wide grin splits my face. Of course. Internal. It was so simple. If I couldn't go places without tripping every ward against evil that existed in that place, then I'd just have to seal away that part of me.
I was a genius.
With a twist of my will, not unlike how I transform from my small form to my larger form, I wrap my [Calamity of Gluttony] around a kernel of itself. Then I toss it into a box deep within my soul, slam the lid shut, and lock it.
Done. Now, I was just like any other person with a [Calamity] locked away deep within their soul.
I look over at Markus, who had started to relax from his stoic stillness—I suppose that after chastising me on my lapse in judgment, he deserved a chance to relax—and smile.
"Let's go join the adventurer's guild!."
"What do you mean the gates are closed!?!" A man sitting on a wagon bench shouts down at a harried-looking guard in cheap metal armor. "There are children out here!"
"I'm sorry, sir." The guard grimaces, looks over at a woman holding hands with two young children, and grimaces deeper. "The city is under a crimson alert after an unidentified discharge of dark magic. City policy is to lock the gates for twenty-four hours. We will reopen tomorrow afternoon."
"So you're leaving us out here to fend for our-"
I tune out the rest of the shouting between the guard and what was probably a merchant. It seemed something—or someone, I supposed—had tripped the wards around the city, and no one was being let in.
That was fine. I could wait a day to become an adventurer. Couldn't I?
The burning impatience bubbling in my chest said I might be unable to, but I had just recently learned my lesson. So instead of going on a rampage, I cast my brilliant mind out to find an alternative.
The first thing I realized is that just because I had never gotten around to assaulting Reitzland itself, that didn't mean the only way into a city was breaking down the walls. On the contrary, I knew that just because the gates were closed, that didn't mean there were no other ways in. Hadn't my books told me all about how [Heroes] would infiltrate the castles and domains of their fated villains?
My eyes trace over to where Reitzland sat in the middle of the Reitz, and I trace the sluggish flow of the river from one end of the walled city to the other. Yes. Yes, they had.
My mind branches fractally along a thousand different paths before returning almost instantly with three different plans. I smile, happy and content. This first obstacle on my path to becoming a [Hero] would be trivial.
[] If I waited for night to truly fall, I was sure I could find an out-of-the-way spot of the city wall to climb. From there, it would be simple to drop unseen into Reitzland.
[] If there were a city, then there would be smugglers. I should know. I've worked with a number of smuggling crews before. So if I couldn't go over the walls, why not go under them?
[] On the third hand, I could just wait and protect the poor people caught outside. Doubtless, my presence as a soon-to-be [Hero] would help ward off whatever foul beast had tripped the city's wards.
[AN]
Ciel gets a fresh start, and everything is going smoothly.
I lift my head to follow a ray of sunlight poking through the forest canopy and let it dance upon my pallid skin. Despite spending all my time outside, my skin had never darkened a single shade from its pale, almost bone-white hue. But what did an inability to tan matter when compared to the fact that I was done? Done with internecine plotting and sudden yet inevitable betrayals. Done with being a villain altogether.
I could feel my fifteen years of experience as an itinerant example of villainy lifting from my shoulders, and I smile. It was time for a new me. A kinder, gentler, dare I say it, more innocent me.
A me that would mesh well with the stories of a bright-eyed and innocent young lad—though I never understood why so many [Heroes] were boys, girl [Calamities] needed role models too—thrust out into the world to make his way.
Yes. I would be a naive youth whose only goal in life was to bring peace to these lands fraught with danger. And then I would become a [Hero] adored by all and-
The sound of thundering hooves interrupts my introspection and draws my attention to what appeared to be a hastily assembled group of knights spurring their horses furiously as they galloped down the road toward where I was.
In an instant, well-honed instinct kicked in, and my aura pools around my left hand like a bloodstained claw. A bloodthirsty smile crosses my face as I hop down from the stone bricks I had been balancing on, and I take one step toward the center of the road. It had been too long since I had rampaged against a knightly order, and while a half-dozen knights wasn't much to whet the appetite. Not literally, of course. I didn't eat people; I had standards. It would be a perfect palate cleanser after my time with that fool of an overlord.
The knights draw within a hundred paces, coincidentally the maximum range for my [Aura: Caress of the Calamity], and I feel my heart begin to flutter in excitement. It really had been far too long.
"Forgive us, young one, but I would ask that you move to the edge of the road. We are on an urgent task that we cannot tarry from."
The deep baritone shout of the lead knight shocks me out of my bloodlust, and I hastily pull back the invisible tendrils of hate and malice that were reaching out to garrote the knights, most likely by decapitating them.
What was I thinking? I was going to be a [Hero]. I couldn't go around indiscriminately massacring squads of knights any longer—especially not on the first day.
And so, I step back to the side of the road and tuck my left hand, still glowing with a fell light behind my back—my aura was always a bit slow to fade away once awoken—and raise my right hand in a cheerful wave. The drum of hooves clattering against paving stones rattles in my chest, but despite the thrill of it, I keep waving as the knight troupe gallops past. I even smile brightly as one of the knights turns to raise his hand to me in an elegant salute.
As the last of the band passes me, my eyes flicker over to the pennon trailing behind the knight who had shouted at me and make a note of a blue trident topped with candles set atop a yellow background. I'd have to find out what order he belonged to and find some way to reward him. My quest to become a [Hero] might have ended before it even began were it not for that timely interruption.
As I watch the knights ride up a gentle hill and out of sight, I let my waving hand fall to my chest, where I can still feel the swift pounding of my heart. Next time I came across one of my sisters, I'd have to let them know how much more exciting knights were when they weren't screaming in pain and trying to stuff entrails back inside themselves.
I could hardly wait for the looks of amazement and jealousy when I shared that pearl of wisdom with them.
Still, I do kind of wonder what had dragged them out of the city with such urgency. Besides the former me—and there wasn't much anyone could do about a [Calamity] when we came to play—Reitzland was one of the safest places in the continent.
Wait. Didn't they have a network of detection wards that spread for a hundred leagues in every direction? A detection ward specifically keyed to demonic and necromantic spellcraft—among others. I check my infallible memory and nod. Reitzland did have a multiphasic array of alarms and sensors. I even remember a mage gloating about it before her ambush had ended in blood and gore—hers.
Well, it would take a while for those knights to navigate through the dense forest, and that meant I had plenty of time to make it to the city before they found my portal site and sent for a mage to interpret the residue of hellfire it had left behind. However, as I allow myself a moment of contentment at that conclusion, my infallible memory reminds me that I'd knocked down a bunch of trees on my way to the road; something that would make their path much easier than it would have been otherwise.
With a slight frown, I ponder sacrificing my meandering pace and speeding up, but only for a moment before shaking my head and continuing as I had been. It had been far too long since I had just enjoyed a nice walk in the forest, and I wasn't about to sacrifice it for something as trivial as a handful of knights.
Besides, I should be fine. Other than Markus and his oaf of a master—and my sisters, too, I suppose—there wasn't anyone living or even undead who knew what I looked like. Sure, plenty of people could recognize the [Calamity of Gluttony], but that wasn't me any longer. So they didn't count.
An hour later, the sun is well overhead, but I'm less than halfway to the city despite my blistering pace. On another day, that fact would make me miss the tree-sized legs of my other form that let me jump for leagues in a single bound, but not today. There were so many things to see.
There were people—not knights or soldiers or warmages, but ordinary people—clumped together in groups and staring anxiously into the depths of the forest. Some had even called out to me and asked me to join them, saying things like 'Where are your parents, little girl?' or 'Come walk with us where it's safer' or 'You shouldn't be alone; the knights are out looking for something,' but I was a soon-to-be [Hero], and I knew that [Heroes] could only group up with their party members, so I'd waved happily at those people and then moved on.
More interesting than the people I passed were the wide variety of small furry creatures that I'd never seen before when wandering about in my other form—probably because I was so tall and they were so small. Unfortunately, none of them had wanted to come close enough so that I could pet them, which had been a shame until I had hit on the brilliant idea to reach out with my aura and grab one of the ones with a puffy tail. I'd named him Markus, after the knight I couldn't take with me, and it had only taken a few minutes of petting before he was happy to sit motionless on my shoulder.
In addition to the people and furry critters, bunches of pretty flowers seemed to grow in the space between where the road ended and the forest began. And while flowers were something I'd seen before, my other form's giant fingers made it difficult to pluck them—at least without plucking everything around them. And so, with a discerning eye, I had stopped at each bunch to look for the prettiest among them. Because sometimes [Heroes] became [Kings], I wanted to be prepared with my own crown. Plus, the rainbow of colors I got when I fused the flowers together with my aura made them sparkle quite elegantly.
I look down at the crown in my hands and then up at the sky above me. The day was moving quickly toward the afternoon, and if I remembered correctly—and with my immaculate memory, I was sure I did—I still had another hour or so left before I reached Reitzland. Less if I picked up my pace. And while I wasn't exactly in a hurry, I couldn't become a [Hero] without first becoming an adventurer, and I couldn't do that until I got to the city.
Still, some things couldn't be rushed, and making sure my crown was perfect was one of them. So, instead of moving on, I cast a critical eye over my crown. Despite looking for flaws in the way I had once searched for the loose strings of a rival's plot, I couldn't find a single one—no doubt evidence of my flawless ability as a craftswoman. And so, like my oldest sister, after she'd plundered a dragon's aery, I triumphantly set my crown atop my head.
I look over at Markus—the furry one, not the knight, though I was growing rather more content with the puffy-tailed version. Despite the pitter-patter of his little heart, he still seemed perfectly happy to sit utterly motionless on my shoulder. I made a mental note that when we got to Reitzland, I'd have to make sure he got some exercise, but for now, if he wanted to be lazy and let me do all the walking, I supposed that was fine. I had much longer legs, after all.
The sun was starting to really dip in the sky by the time the road I was on finally wended its way out from the cover of the forest and into sweeping, open plains.
I pause for a moment and lift my finger to point at a gentle scar in the landscape, still glowing with a malevolent purple flame and ringed by layer upon layer of fencing.
"See that, Markus." I pause to put my hand to my crown as the wind picks up and whips through my hair, and then return to pointing. "That's where an innocent [Calamity] taking a nap was rudely assaulted by an army of knights and mages and forced to evolve into her ultimate class: [Calamity of Gluttony]."
To be truthful—which was an essential trait to being a [Hero]—the [Calamity] was me, but I wanted to spare furry-Markus the horror of knowing he was traveling with such a prolific villain. Besides, since I wasn't a [Calamity] any longer, I think I was still technically telling the truth. Which I knew from reading about being a [Hero] and actually being a villain was the best kind of truth.
Markus seems to take me pointing out the malefic landmark with the same stoic stillness he seemed to display for everything. I was impressed. I'd seen people run screaming for their lives at the mere mention of a [Calamity], yet to see my furry companion so untroubled by it. I had truly chosen well when I'd randomly snatched him from his tree.
I step out of the comfortable shade of the forest and stop motionless as a cascade of golden sparks dance around my outstretched foot.
That was different. When had Reitzland created such a delightful way to welcome travelers to their city? I let my foot continue to the ground and watch happily as the golden sparks multiply in size and number.
While I was content to watch the welcoming display, my furred companion shifts minutely on my shoulder. I turn to look at him, but his gaze is also locked on my shoe. And so I turn back to look at the magical sparks, wondering what Markus had fixed his inscrutable stare upon, only to catch the scent of smoldering leather.
My smile turns into a frown. The magic was burning my shoe. That wasn't good. Without my shoes, my feet would get dirty. I pull my foot back and watch the sparks slowly fade.
Sparks that burned people's clothing was a weird way to welcome someone to the city. Unless they wanted the people to be naked when they arrived. If that were the case, I may need to put my quest to become a [Hero] away for a minute and go on a little rampage. That kind of behavior was unacceptable for [Heroes] and villains.
My non-smoldering foot taps as I ponder the quandary in front of me. The magic in those sparks was far too pitiful to actually harm me, but it was clearly enough to burn my clothes.
I could wrap myself in my aura. That would keep my outfit from getting even the slightest bit singed, but that band of knights that had passed by earlier had reminded me of an important point. I could hardly be considered a [Hero] if I was still going to use my [Calamity] skills. Those two things just didn't mix.
I turn my head to look at Markus and wait as his furry face slowly turns toward me. "Do you want to see if this ward includes fur in its list of clothing to burn?"
Markus stares at me, wide-eyed and unflinching, as he refuses to move. I smile, happy to have such a brave furry companion and nod in acceptance of his decision. "That's fair. I don't think you'd look anywhere near as cute without your puffy tail."
I reach out with my hand this time, pressing forward until a single, solitary spark settles on the end of my finger. I wrap it in a quick [Stasis Field]—hardly my best work, but then my older sister was the only one of us who really enjoyed magic—and bring it up to my face.
My eyes blur as [Dissection of the Root] films across my sight. The mana within the golden spark shifts into a kaleidoscope of letters and numbers and I frown as the meaning behind the spell becomes clear. Someone in Reitzland—probably the Mage's College—had cast a spell that would attack and destroy any being tainted by evil that wandered too close to the city. My frown deepened further as I realized I was somehow included in that number even though I clearly wasn't a [Calamity] any longer.
I quickly bury a flicker of hurt beneath a bonfire of upset as my frown grows into a glare. If they wanted to target a soon-to-be [Hero] as though she were still a garden-variety [Calamity], then I'd show them. I'd show them all.
My arm starts to morph, losing the hue and color of human flesh in favor of the raw Wyrd with which I'd been made. I would rampage just long enough to shatter this spell—and maybe the city itself—and then I'd try again somewhere more welcoming of reformed villains.
[Balefire] gathers about my fists and starts to climb up my arm as my transformation into the [Calamity of Gluttony] progresses. I breathe out a seething anger and shape my aura to shred the pitiful ward they'd cast against me.
I was a [Hero]. How dare they treat me like this.
A ball of purest darkness coalesces in my hand and turns day into night as it sucks in the light from the afternoon sun. From the size of a child's ball to a horse to a house, my attack grows until, at last, it has gathered enough energy to eradicate this ungrateful city from existence.
I-
"Chirp."
I stop dead. The ball of magic and raw hate forming in my hands dissipates as though it had never existed. I had almost… I swallow slowly. How could I be a [Hero] if I were so ready to destroy a city in a fit of pique?
"Thank you, Markus." I turn toward my companion only to let my eyes drop at the wide-eyed, accusing stare. "You're right. I-I overreacted."
The words were difficult to force out. I had never been in the wrong before, but that was as a [Calamity]—something I no longer was.
I wanted to be a [Hero], and my reading had been very clear that [Heroes] could be wrong—rarely, to be fair, but they could be. And when they were wrong, it was a key trait of a [Hero] that they learn from their mistakes so they do not repeat them when it matters. So that's what I had to do here. Learn from my mistake so that I would never repeat it.
I consider asking Markus for his advice but discard that idea almost as soon as it forms. If I were to be a [Hero], I would need to rise above this challenge on my own merit.
For a long moment, despite my brilliant mind branching off in a thousand different directions, I'm stumped. This wasn't like baiting a dragon into a rage by devouring her eggs. Nor was it like waiting motionlessly underwater until a convoy of ships passed overhead. It was something internal. And…
A wide grin splits my face. Of course. Internal. It was so simple. If I couldn't go places without tripping every ward against evil that existed in that place, then I'd just have to seal away that part of me.
I was a genius.
With a twist of my will, not unlike how I transform from my small form to my larger form, I wrap my [Calamity of Gluttony] around a kernel of itself. Then I toss it into a box deep within my soul, slam the lid shut, and lock it.
Done. Now, I was just like any other person with a [Calamity] locked away deep within their soul.
I look over at Markus, who had started to relax from his stoic stillness—I suppose that after chastising me on my lapse in judgment, he deserved a chance to relax—and smile.
"Let's go join the adventurer's guild!."
"What do you mean the gates are closed!?!" A man sitting on a wagon bench shouts down at a harried-looking guard in cheap metal armor. "There are children out here!"
"I'm sorry, sir." The guard grimaces, looks over at a woman holding hands with two young children, and grimaces deeper. "The city is under a crimson alert after an unidentified discharge of dark magic. City policy is to lock the gates for twenty-four hours. We will reopen tomorrow afternoon."
"So you're leaving us out here to fend for our-"
I tune out the rest of the shouting between the guard and what was probably a merchant. It seemed something—or someone, I supposed—had tripped the wards around the city, and no one was being let in.
That was fine. I could wait a day to become an adventurer. Couldn't I?
The burning impatience bubbling in my chest said I might be unable to, but I had just recently learned my lesson. So instead of going on a rampage, I cast my brilliant mind out to find an alternative.
The first thing I realized is that just because I had never gotten around to assaulting Reitzland itself, that didn't mean the only way into a city was breaking down the walls. On the contrary, I knew that just because the gates were closed, that didn't mean there were no other ways in. Hadn't my books told me all about how [Heroes] would infiltrate the castles and domains of their fated villains?
My eyes trace over to where Reitzland sat in the middle of the Reitz, and I trace the sluggish flow of the river from one end of the walled city to the other. Yes. Yes, they had.
My mind branches fractally along a thousand different paths before returning almost instantly with three different plans. I smile, happy and content. This first obstacle on my path to becoming a [Hero] would be trivial.
[] If I waited for night to truly fall, I was sure I could find an out-of-the-way spot of the city wall to climb. From there, it would be simple to drop unseen into Reitzland.
[] If there were a city, then there would be smugglers. I should know. I've worked with a number of smuggling crews before. So if I couldn't go over the walls, why not go under them?
[] On the third hand, I could just wait and protect the poor people caught outside. Doubtless, my presence as a soon-to-be [Hero] would help ward off whatever foul beast had tripped the city's wards.
Summary Description: In appearance, the [Calamity of Gluttony] is a fifty-foot-tall chimeric beast made out of some sort of pure-white material. Unlike the other [Calamities], the [Calamity of Gluttony] has shown a substantial variability of form—mainly in the apportionment of its limbs. Despite this mutability, it is distinguished from the other [Calamities] in that it has shown no capacity for flight, instead preferring to walk upon its many legs.
Summary Rank: SS+. In accordance with guild procedures. If found, do not engage. Retreat slowly in as non-threatening a manner as possible and then notify the nearest civil institution for evacuation and disaster response.
Known Skills
[Aura: Caress of the Calamity] Suspected S+ Rank skill.
A combination offensive and defensive skill that seems to act independently of its wielder. As dangerous as the aura is in an offensive capacity (see Report 0141: The Decimation of The Order of Roses), it is its defensive capacity that is responsible for the rating. There is no corroborated evidence of an attack, whether magical or martial, that has successfully managed to pierce through its defenses. Even a strike from the A-Rank Alis du Lantzen [The Sword of Summer] could not leave a scratch.
[Dissection of the Root] Suspected A Rank skill.
Along with its size and seemingly indestructible nature, the Calamity possesses a preternatural ability to interpret the spellcraft wielded against it. It has shown this ability both in avoiding traps crafted by the S-Rank Zefor [The Archmage of Cycles] (see Report 0081: The Death of Zefor) and in turning spells and wards back upon their caster (see Report 0082: The Second Death of Zefor).
[Devourer of Dead Gods] Suspected EX Rank skill.
"If you ever see the light drain from the sky, run. Run as far and as fast as you can. Do not stop. Run until your lungs bleed and your legs have turned to water, and then keep running. Sacrifice your enchanted gear and your artifacts. Sacrifice your dearest friends. Run, and pray to the gods that no longer exist to save you from your fate." — an excerpt from an interview conducted with a nameless adventurer, the only known survivor of having witnessed this skill.
Summary Rank: SS+. In accordance with guild procedures. If found, do not engage. Retreat slowly in as non-threatening a manner as possible and then notify the nearest civil institution for evacuation and disaster response.
Known Skills
[Aura: Caress of the Calamity] Suspected S+ Rank skill.
A combination offensive and defensive skill that seems to act independently of its wielder. As dangerous as the aura is in an offensive capacity (see Report 0141: The Decimation of The Order of Roses), it is its defensive capacity that is responsible for the rating. There is no corroborated evidence of an attack, whether magical or martial, that has successfully managed to pierce through its defenses. Even a strike from the A-Rank Alis du Lantzen [The Sword of Summer] could not leave a scratch.
[Dissection of the Root] Suspected A Rank skill.
Along with its size and seemingly indestructible nature, the Calamity possesses a preternatural ability to interpret the spellcraft wielded against it. It has shown this ability both in avoiding traps crafted by the S-Rank Zefor [The Archmage of Cycles] (see Report 0081: The Death of Zefor) and in turning spells and wards back upon their caster (see Report 0082: The Second Death of Zefor).
[Devourer of Dead Gods] Suspected EX Rank skill.
"If you ever see the light drain from the sky, run. Run as far and as fast as you can. Do not stop. Run until your lungs bleed and your legs have turned to water, and then keep running. Sacrifice your enchanted gear and your artifacts. Sacrifice your dearest friends. Run, and pray to the gods that no longer exist to save you from your fate." — an excerpt from an interview conducted with a nameless adventurer, the only known survivor of having witnessed this skill.
[AN]
Ciel gets a fresh start, and everything is going smoothly.
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In which a Villainess camps out overnight
I look out over the city of Reitzland, twinkling in the setting sun, and then turn toward the gathering of upset people breaking off into small groups. The two paths laid out before me couldn't have been any clearer.
Down one, I would sneak into the city and complete my first step toward becoming a [Hero]. Down the other, I would camp outside and use my soon-to-be [Hero] skills to ward off whatever evil stalked the night.
It was the very first day since I'd abandoned being a villain, and yet I was paralyzed. Not physically, of course. Even with my [Calamity] powers sealed inside myself, I was still a masterwork of shaped Wyrd rather than flesh and blood. But rather by the dilemma before me.
One choice would further my quest to become a [Hero], while the other encompassed the acts that a [Hero] would perform.
How was I supposed to choose between the two?
I turned to look at Markus, hoping my furry friend would have some advice, but his head was drooped down against my neck, and his body was twitching with little furry-critter dreams.
I sigh, disappointed that I wouldn't have his counsel on this dilemma but let him continue sleeping. He'd had a long day.
Besides, I couldn't keep turning to him for advice. If I did that, he might end up becoming a [Hero] as well—or worse, instead of me. And I didn't want to be the sidekick who killed the [Hero] and stole their powers. I'd read enough to know that would lead me right back to being a villain.
Still, letting Markus nap left me no closer to resolving my issues. In fact, it left me even worse off because as I weighed my options, a horrifying realization was starting to bubble in the back of my mind: I may have a lack of suitably refined heroic instincts. And while I was sure my many future deeds would resolve that particular issue quite nicely, it did little to help me now.
And so, despite my genius, I was stuck in this morass of indecision and-
My genius mind shatters in fractal patterns as it plays out a thousand scenarios and then reforms.
I smile. Of course. It was so simple. If my nascent heroic instincts were too new to rely upon, I could instead call upon my villainous ones—instincts which I knew had been honed to an impeccable fineness over the last fifteen years—and then simply do the opposite.
My relief at that realization—and the reliability of my genius—was palpable. Because when I viewed my problem through that lens, the answer was clear.
I would stay outside and protect these poor, helpless people from the terrors that no doubt were even now stalking the late afternoon. And I would do that in the time-honored tradition of [Heroes] everywhere.
I would patrol the camp.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?"
An elderly voice interrupts me from my meticulous inspection of the camp perimeter that marked the edge between the flickering of campfires and the evils lurking in the darkness beyond.
I turn to what was clearly an old, married couple gathered around a campfire. The old woman was looking at me while stirring a pot hanging over the fire and the old man was carving a stick with a wide-bladed knife.
I salute her like one knight had saluted me earlier, mostly because I thought it had looked neat when he'd done it.
"I'm fine, miss. I'm just patrolling the perimeter."
"Oh my, aren't you just adorable? What's your name, dear? And are you sure your parents are okay with you wandering about camp like this?"
I pause before instinctively responding that I wasn't born; I was hatched from a chrysalis of Wyrd, and anyway, my sisters and I had long since devoured the one who had created us. And decide instead to use my new-found skill of telling half-truths.
"My name is Ciel. I'm all by myself. My…" I pause to decide whether my creator counted as a father. On the one hand, he'd never really done much for us besides scream in agony as we dismembered him. On the other hand, he had kind of birthed us, so that was probably close enough. "He's dead."
"What? You're out here all by yourself. You poor brave thing. I'm Marta, and this is my husband, Henrick." The elderly woman turns toward her husband, who has set aside his knife in favor of staring into the coals of the campfire. "Henrick. Get the girl a bowl and a place to sit—and bring her something warm to wear while you're at it. The red scarf, dear. It's almost the exact same shade as her eyes."
I wasn't cold at all. I didn't think it was possible for my sisters or me to even feel cold. But instead of correcting the old woman, I decided to remain silent. After all, a new scarf would be lovely. And it would give Markus something soft to rest on.
"Marta…"
The old man's voice whines in a way that would have gotten him gutted in any number of villainous cabals I'd been a part of. Fortunately for him, I was a [Hero], so I generously let the grating tone go. Unfortunately for him, his wife was not so generous.
"Move, Henrick, or you'll be sharing a bag of oats with the mule for dinner tonight."
That threat works as well as any threat of evisceration I'd ever made. Better, in fact, than many because no sooner was it uttered than the whining old man was up and moving.
With a satisfied look, the older woman turns toward me and smiles. "Come join us for dinner, dear. It's the least we can do for a brave young lass out on her own."
I open my mouth to decline the offer—I could subsist off of ambient mana for months on end—only to be interrupted by the grumbling of my stomach.
A frown crosses my face at the unfamiliar sound before my perfect memory reminds me that I had sealed away that part of myself along with the rest of my [Calamity] skills.
"I-" What was that? Was I hungry?
"It's not a problem, dear. Just come and warm yourself by the fire. Henrick and I will take care of everything." She smiles conspiratorially as I slowly approach the fire. "Don't let my husband's gruff manner fool you. He's a softy at heart."
In my experience, every human was soft at heart—it was such a squishy organ—but I didn't think that's what the old woman meant. Still, I nodded as though I understood. "Thank you."
"No thanks needed, dear."
The old woman shakes her head, seeming just on the verge of saying something more. However, instead of voicing whatever thoughts I could see lurking in her eyes, she remained silent.
A moment later, she turns as her husband reappears from the gloom with a bright red piece of cloth draped over his left shoulder and a stack of wooden bowls and cutlery gripped loosely in the other. She bustles over toward the older man, plucks the length of cloth from his shoulder, and moves toward me with it gripped lightly in one hand while the old man sets the bowls down near the fire.
"Here. Feel this. We wove it with wool from the family goat. We had intended to give it to our-"
Thanks to my perfect eyesight, I see a faint glimmer of wetness around the old woman's eyes as she stops moving forward, her voice trailing into a whispered 'daughter.' A moment later, her husband reaches out, places a hand on her shoulder, and squeezes.
"Our daughter was about your age when s-she left to make a life for herself in the city." The old man clears his throat roughly against the hoarseness in his throat and continues. "We got word a month back that she'd been found dead and…"
The old man trails off again into silence and puts an arm around his wife. I watch the two of them embrace in silence, feeling uncomfortable in a way I couldn't put into words.
Fortunately, despite the feelings bubbling up in my stomach, my genius mind was undeterred in finding something to say.
"This is Markus. He's my friend." Said furry friend levels an annoyed look at me as I wake him from his nap atop my shoulder and hold him out to the older couple. "I found him in the forest."
"Oh." The old woman blinks away the wetness in her eyes and smiles. "And isn't he a handsome little man?"
I nodded in agreement. I hadn't just snatched the first furry creature I'd seen. A [Hero] had to have standards in her choice of companions. But before I could bring him closer to show off the glossy coat on his fur, Markus managed to squirm his way out of my hold and scamper back up my arm to his perch on my shoulder.
"He was the one with the fluffiest tail."
"You chose well, young lass. Red-tailed squirrels are a symbol of good luck around these parts."
I run a finger gently down the red stripe on Markus's tail and smile happily. Having a rare animal companion—and one that symbolized luck, no less—was a sure sign that I was on the right track with my quest to become a [Hero].
"Now there's a smile." The old woman's face brightens further, almost to what it was before the mention of her dead daughter. "Shall we have some dinner, my dears?"
"A pack of wild horses couldn't keep me away, love."
The old man responds first, and I have to resist an urge to frown. Unless he was much stronger than he looked—and unfortunately, with my [Dissection of the Root] sealed away, I couldn't see his level or skills—he wouldn't stand much of a chance against one horse, let alone a pack of them.
On the other hand, I knew villains got stronger as they got older, so perhaps it was the same for [Farmers].
Well, there was only one way to know for sure.
"Are you sure, mister? You don't look that strong."
The old woman blinks once and then explodes in cackling laughter that drowns out the sputtered response from the old man. At first, the old man scowls at his wife, but that doesn't last long before he, too, seems to get caught up in her laughter.
I watch, bewildered, as they lean against each other and laugh in a way that reminds me of a coven of [Banshees] I had once worked with. Eventually, the surprisingly loud and vibrant laughter dies down enough as the two of them try to regather their breath.
As the old people gather themselves, I find myself caught between two feelings. On the one hand, it was… not unpleasant watching them laugh. Yet, on the other, their laughter had left me no closer to knowing whether or not [Farmers] grew stronger with age.
"Oh, dear. I do believe I needed that. It's been a long few weeks. And I haven't seen my husband put in his place so neatly since Sera left."
The smile that accompanies her words is something I do recognize. It was the same one I wore when I missed my sisters and wondered what they were up to.
Wistful. That was the word.
"Do you like fish, dear?"
I nod my agreement. My favorite were the big ones that lived deep in the ocean. They were wonderfully juicy, and the way they crunched when my teeth snapped through their spine was simply delightful.
"Then you'll love my world-renowned Reitz Stew." The woman grins, doubtless smug over having created such a famous recipe. "I make it with leeks, watercress, a secret blend of herbs and spices, and a few generous chunks of river perch."
As she finishes the explanation, the old woman sweeps a trio of bowls into one arm and ladles out stew until the bowls are just shy of full to the brim. With similarly expert precision, she gracefully hands a bowl to me and then her husband before taking the third for herself.
Seeing my impressed look, she smirks. "I spent some time in the capital as a [Server] when I was a much younger lady. It's how I met my Henrick."
"She left a note on my plate with an address, and like a fool, I went, not sure whether I was going to be mugged or fu-."
"Henrick!"
I ignore the sharp, whispered conversation between the two in favor of scooping up the biggest piece of fish in my bowl with my wooden spoon.
I'd once worked for an overlord who had kidnapped Odril's sixth best [Chef] and [Soul Bound] him to servitude. It had been a real shame when a cross-city rival had assassinated him, but I'd learned a lot about food in my time there, so I knew I would be able to judge this world-famous stew accordingly.
I bring the steaming hot spoonful of fish to my mouth, pausing to blow on it twice—because I knew that's what I was supposed to do in my smaller form—and take a bite.
I roll the bite around in my mouth and chew slowly and deliberately. The fish was just as juicy as I'd expected, and the broth tasted like lemongrass and pepper and a faint floral freshness that I couldn't quite identify. I chew a few more times, letting the flavors meld on my tongue as I judge the taste before swallowing.
I let my spoon fall into the bowl and held out my free hand with a thumbs up, just like I had been taught. "This is really good. You could easily be the seventh best [Chef] in Odril with a recipe like this."
"There you go, love. A top-ten ranking in Odril. That's quite the achievement for your stew, isn't it?" The old man chuckles into his stew, only to let out a soft 'oof' as his wife digs her elbow sharply into his side.
"Thank you, dear." This time, the smile is one far more familiar to me. It had quite an impressive tinge of menace. "Would you like seconds?"
"Yes, please."
A hand shakes at my shoulder, and I twist deeper into my blankets with a mumbled 'grmfblrl,' fully intending to ignore whatever was trying to wake me up. As the hand shakes me a second time, I feel a moment of confusion as to why my aura hadn't already murdered whoever was bothering me before my immaculate memory reminds me that I had sealed it away along with the rest of my [Calamity] skills.
Before I can be shaken a third time, I yawn and stretch my arms above my head before opening my eyes to see the old woman smiling above me.
"Good morning, dear."
"Mrgrbl."
"The guards have cleared the crimson alert and decided to let folks enter early."
I rub the crust out of my eyes as sleep drains from my body and sit up so I can stretch my legs before the old woman's words filter into my brain.
"Really? Then there's no time to lose."
I jump upright and snag the scarf the old woman had given me last night. I wrap it around my neck with one hand and then sweep it around so that one end trails down my chest and the other down my back.
I look down into my makeshift bedding and snap my fingers. "C'mon, Markus. Wake up. We've got to go."
My furry companion twitches twice before rolling onto his stomach and running over to scramble up my leg and take his spot on my shoulder.
"Thanks for dinner, ma'am, but we've got to go," I call out over my shoulder as I rush to where a line of people is slowly assembling. I had to hurry. If I waited too long, I'd be stuck in line all day.
"Oh? You don't have to rush, dear. Henrick and I would be happy for your company."
There's something in her voice that tugs at something inside me. I bring a fist up to thump at my chest a few times until the feeling goes away.
I turn to the old woman and her husband and wave a hand over my head in a sweeping motion. "Thank you, but I have to go. I'm going to be a [Hero]."
Without waiting for a response, I start running toward the city. And my destiny.
My destiny ended up being stuck behind a large, red-haired man talking loudly to a dirty-looking man with a short bow strapped to his back and a pimply young man with what looked like the world's least impressive grimoire dangling from a chain about his waist.
They were an adventuring team. I knew that because of the bracelets wrapped around each of their wrists. Bronze, which marked them as E-Rank if I remembered correctly, and thanks to my immaculate memory, I knew that I did.
For a moment, I consider moving closer to better overhear the response to his practically bellowed questions. After all, gaining the wisdom of my soon-to-be seniors in the adventurer's guild seemed like a good idea. But when I spot a space opening up as an exhausted-looking group of farmers lagged a pace or two behind the slow shuffle of the line, another, far better idea occurs to me.
With the grace of a [Calamity] tip-toeing through the wilderness, I duck behind the large man and use his size to screen everyone's view as I dash for the spot that had opened up in front of the line.
I ignore a chorus of grumpy shouting as I plant myself in front of the [Guard] waving people into the city.
"Hi."
"Name, class, and reason for visit."
A bored stare framed by one of those metal helmets that only covered the top of someone's head meets my enthusiastic smile, and a rush of disappointment washes through me. It wasn't that I expected the [Guard] to know that he was welcoming a future [Hero] into the city. Nor was it because I apparently had to answer a quiz to enter the city. No, it was because my enthusiastic smile had never failed to elicit a response before.
Well, I frowned to myself. If he didn't like my smile, then he definitely didn't deserve to see it. Instead, he'd get the same stare I'd give a particularly incompetent lackey.
"Ciel. No class. I want to be an adventurer."
I tried my best to make my voice a flat monotone, utterly devoid of warmth or emotion, but even then, I could barely match the pure apathy and indifference to life that the guard had asked his questions with. My stare, however, was clearly the superior one. I knew that because the [Guard] instantly started to flinch and fidget in place.
And so, when his eyes fall from mine and drop to the ground, I graciously accept victory in our little contest and relax back into a smile—a far smaller one than I'd used earlier. He didn't deserve anything more.
"Thank you. I'm going in now."
I don't wait for the [Guard] to snap out of his stupor, and I completely ignore his voice shouting things like 'Come back' and 'I haven't given you clearance to enter' as I run happily into the city.
I was finally here, in Reitzland, The City of Adventurers, and the place where I would finally become a [Hero].
Half an hour later—I knew that much time had passed because I was counting the bells that rang from the city's clocktower—and after passing a fountain of a man with a crown riding on top of a giant fish for the third time, I realized that I didn't know where I was supposed to go.
It wasn't that I was lost. No. Never that. [Heroes] certainly never got lost. Neither, for that matter, did [Calamities]. So, I'd be the laughing stock of two worlds if I were lost, which I clearly wasn't. I was just enjoying the sights of the first non-rampaged city I'd ever been to.
The villains and overlords I usually worked with preferred abandoned castles and dank caverns—something about it being hard to assemble an army of occasionally cannibalistic soldiers in the middle of a city. And while I knew some overlords preferred cities, the city-dwelling types didn't tend to have the kind of jobs I enjoyed. Apparently, collateral damage was undesirable when you wanted to rule a city from the shadows rather than as an iron-fisted dictator.
Which was really a shame since I had a sneaking suspicion that city-dwelling villains were a bit more refined than the ones I had grown so tired of. Not that that mattered any more either way. I was here to be a [Hero], and that meant stopping any up-and-coming villains, not joining them.
And so, I turn my attention away from different kinds of villains and feel a thrill course through me as my eyes land on a vine-covered wall with a pair of balconies dotting the top floor of the building. I'd never stayed at an inn before—at least not one I hadn't rampaged through or on top of before—and I was looking forward to checking that off my list.
After looking my fill of the inn, I turn the other direction only for my eyes to light up again at the sight of a wooden plaque with a pair of swords crossed over a shield. I'd never been to a blacksmith, either, since my skin and claws were far, far stronger than steel, and my aura could shrug off everything but the strongest of [Relics]. But when I became an adventurer, I'd definitely need to shop here—though I'll probably wait until I find a party so I'd know what role I need to occupy.
I turn to look for yet another sight I'd only read about in my books, but that odd grumbly noise from my stomach stops me. Was I hungry again already? This was such a hassle. How did non-[Calamaties] deal with this?
I look at Markus and notice that his tiny, furry belly seems to be grumbling, just like mine. "We need to find something to eat, don't we?"
"Chirp."
I take that sound as a 'yes' and turn my perfectly honed senses toward finding something to eat. Expanding out my eyes and ears is easy enough, but one quickly aborted attempt to do the same with my nose is enough for me to pull back that sense and swear never to try that again.
Who knew cities could smell that bad?
Still, my ears had been enough to pick up the sound of someone shouting about 'Fresh baked buns,' once I recovered from gagging at the smell of a hundred unwashed latrines, I'd go find those buns.
I step up to the counter and smile up at a pudgy, balding man wearing a stained apron. "Hi. Markus and I are hungry. Can we have something to eat?"
Markus sits up from his lazy sprawl on my shoulder and places his paws together in front of him, and I turn my smile up as bright as it will go.
"Ya' got any money, kid?" The man stares down at me, nonplussed, as he wipes his hands back and forth along his apron.
"Nope." I shake my head. I'd never needed it as a [Calamity], and from my reading, money always seemed to rain down upon [Heroes] when they needed it, so I hadn't bothered taking any coins from the [Lord of Fallen Flame] when I'd left.
"Ya' don't look like an urchin kid, so why don't ya' get yer parents to buy ya' something?"
That was the second time someone had mentioned my parents in the last day or so. Were people really that concerned about my creator? Well, he must have been quite powerful to have been able to create my sisters and me. Not so strong that he'd been able to survive after he'd started trying to order us around, but still.
"He's dead."
The man stops wiping his hands against his apron and leans forward to stare at me. "Suppose that means yer ma's gone too?"
I'd never even considered the idea of a mother. Even after letting my mind shatter into fractal patterns and looking for something I could call a mother, I came up blank. Unless I counted the far depths of the Far Planes that my creator had stolen to create my sisters and me. But that was quite a stretch. The Wyrd could become many things, but I was almost certain a mother was not one of them.
"Never had one."
"Look, kid. I feel for ya', but I ain't running a charity here, so…" the man trails off as he leans even closer, "Bah. A roll or two's not gonna make a difference."
After saying that, he grabs a flakey-looking piece of bread that was stuffed, seemingly bursting with what looked like chocolate. Pain au chocolat if I remembered what that [Soul Bound Chef] had called them, and thanks to my impeccable memory, I certainly did. He then grabs a long stick of bread—a baguette, my infallible memory tells me—and wraps them in a thin piece of wax paper.
"Here, kid. I ain't gonna feed ya' every day, but if ya' come 'round near closing time, I might have a snack or two waiting for ya'."
"Thank you, mister." I accept the bounty with my brightest smile yet and immediately break off a piece of the chocolate bread for Markus.
"Yeah, yeah." The man looks away as he scratches the back of his head. "Stay out of trouble ya' hear me."
"I will," I promise as I start walking away. After all, I would be a [Hero], and [Heroes] never got into trouble.
After securing a meal for Markus and myself, I wandered back to the fish king statue and sat down upon the lip of it so we could eat. Apparently, we had both been quite hungry since we consumed the chocolate bread and the long bread stick in minutes.
As I lean back on my hands, careful not to let my scarf dip into the fountain water. I ponder what to do next. I knew I needed to find the adventurer's guild, but despite my best attempts, I had so far been roundly defeated by the maze of streets and intersections of Reitzland.
If only I could still use my larger form. Finding the guild would be easy then. I'd just have had to look for the building all the people trying to attack me were pouring out of.
That wasn't an option now, though. So, instead, I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns as it chases a thousand different ideas down to their conclusion.
When my mind reforms an instant later, I smile widely because I have not one but three potential plans laid out in front of me.
[] First, I could ask the shady [Information Broker] lurking in a nearby alley for directions. As a [Calamity], I was well-versed in getting valuable information from that kind of person.
[] Second, I could go into the rowdy bar I'd seen a few intersections back and ask someone there for directions. My stories all said that bars were the best place to find information.
[] Third, I could shout at the top of my lungs that I needed help. Whenever I had shown up to rampage, that kind of shouting had always drawn a lot of people trying to help.
[AN]
In my outline, Ciel was going to wander between campsites and meet several different groups that night. I blew through the word count I'd allotted for that first meeting almost immediately. I think it probably works better as one ~ 2.3k-word scene rather than as three ~ 800-word scenes, though.
Down one, I would sneak into the city and complete my first step toward becoming a [Hero]. Down the other, I would camp outside and use my soon-to-be [Hero] skills to ward off whatever evil stalked the night.
It was the very first day since I'd abandoned being a villain, and yet I was paralyzed. Not physically, of course. Even with my [Calamity] powers sealed inside myself, I was still a masterwork of shaped Wyrd rather than flesh and blood. But rather by the dilemma before me.
One choice would further my quest to become a [Hero], while the other encompassed the acts that a [Hero] would perform.
How was I supposed to choose between the two?
I turned to look at Markus, hoping my furry friend would have some advice, but his head was drooped down against my neck, and his body was twitching with little furry-critter dreams.
I sigh, disappointed that I wouldn't have his counsel on this dilemma but let him continue sleeping. He'd had a long day.
Besides, I couldn't keep turning to him for advice. If I did that, he might end up becoming a [Hero] as well—or worse, instead of me. And I didn't want to be the sidekick who killed the [Hero] and stole their powers. I'd read enough to know that would lead me right back to being a villain.
Still, letting Markus nap left me no closer to resolving my issues. In fact, it left me even worse off because as I weighed my options, a horrifying realization was starting to bubble in the back of my mind: I may have a lack of suitably refined heroic instincts. And while I was sure my many future deeds would resolve that particular issue quite nicely, it did little to help me now.
And so, despite my genius, I was stuck in this morass of indecision and-
My genius mind shatters in fractal patterns as it plays out a thousand scenarios and then reforms.
I smile. Of course. It was so simple. If my nascent heroic instincts were too new to rely upon, I could instead call upon my villainous ones—instincts which I knew had been honed to an impeccable fineness over the last fifteen years—and then simply do the opposite.
My relief at that realization—and the reliability of my genius—was palpable. Because when I viewed my problem through that lens, the answer was clear.
I would stay outside and protect these poor, helpless people from the terrors that no doubt were even now stalking the late afternoon. And I would do that in the time-honored tradition of [Heroes] everywhere.
I would patrol the camp.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?"
An elderly voice interrupts me from my meticulous inspection of the camp perimeter that marked the edge between the flickering of campfires and the evils lurking in the darkness beyond.
I turn to what was clearly an old, married couple gathered around a campfire. The old woman was looking at me while stirring a pot hanging over the fire and the old man was carving a stick with a wide-bladed knife.
I salute her like one knight had saluted me earlier, mostly because I thought it had looked neat when he'd done it.
"I'm fine, miss. I'm just patrolling the perimeter."
"Oh my, aren't you just adorable? What's your name, dear? And are you sure your parents are okay with you wandering about camp like this?"
I pause before instinctively responding that I wasn't born; I was hatched from a chrysalis of Wyrd, and anyway, my sisters and I had long since devoured the one who had created us. And decide instead to use my new-found skill of telling half-truths.
"My name is Ciel. I'm all by myself. My…" I pause to decide whether my creator counted as a father. On the one hand, he'd never really done much for us besides scream in agony as we dismembered him. On the other hand, he had kind of birthed us, so that was probably close enough. "He's dead."
"What? You're out here all by yourself. You poor brave thing. I'm Marta, and this is my husband, Henrick." The elderly woman turns toward her husband, who has set aside his knife in favor of staring into the coals of the campfire. "Henrick. Get the girl a bowl and a place to sit—and bring her something warm to wear while you're at it. The red scarf, dear. It's almost the exact same shade as her eyes."
I wasn't cold at all. I didn't think it was possible for my sisters or me to even feel cold. But instead of correcting the old woman, I decided to remain silent. After all, a new scarf would be lovely. And it would give Markus something soft to rest on.
"Marta…"
The old man's voice whines in a way that would have gotten him gutted in any number of villainous cabals I'd been a part of. Fortunately for him, I was a [Hero], so I generously let the grating tone go. Unfortunately for him, his wife was not so generous.
"Move, Henrick, or you'll be sharing a bag of oats with the mule for dinner tonight."
That threat works as well as any threat of evisceration I'd ever made. Better, in fact, than many because no sooner was it uttered than the whining old man was up and moving.
With a satisfied look, the older woman turns toward me and smiles. "Come join us for dinner, dear. It's the least we can do for a brave young lass out on her own."
I open my mouth to decline the offer—I could subsist off of ambient mana for months on end—only to be interrupted by the grumbling of my stomach.
A frown crosses my face at the unfamiliar sound before my perfect memory reminds me that I had sealed away that part of myself along with the rest of my [Calamity] skills.
"I-" What was that? Was I hungry?
"It's not a problem, dear. Just come and warm yourself by the fire. Henrick and I will take care of everything." She smiles conspiratorially as I slowly approach the fire. "Don't let my husband's gruff manner fool you. He's a softy at heart."
In my experience, every human was soft at heart—it was such a squishy organ—but I didn't think that's what the old woman meant. Still, I nodded as though I understood. "Thank you."
"No thanks needed, dear."
The old woman shakes her head, seeming just on the verge of saying something more. However, instead of voicing whatever thoughts I could see lurking in her eyes, she remained silent.
A moment later, she turns as her husband reappears from the gloom with a bright red piece of cloth draped over his left shoulder and a stack of wooden bowls and cutlery gripped loosely in the other. She bustles over toward the older man, plucks the length of cloth from his shoulder, and moves toward me with it gripped lightly in one hand while the old man sets the bowls down near the fire.
"Here. Feel this. We wove it with wool from the family goat. We had intended to give it to our-"
Thanks to my perfect eyesight, I see a faint glimmer of wetness around the old woman's eyes as she stops moving forward, her voice trailing into a whispered 'daughter.' A moment later, her husband reaches out, places a hand on her shoulder, and squeezes.
"Our daughter was about your age when s-she left to make a life for herself in the city." The old man clears his throat roughly against the hoarseness in his throat and continues. "We got word a month back that she'd been found dead and…"
The old man trails off again into silence and puts an arm around his wife. I watch the two of them embrace in silence, feeling uncomfortable in a way I couldn't put into words.
Fortunately, despite the feelings bubbling up in my stomach, my genius mind was undeterred in finding something to say.
"This is Markus. He's my friend." Said furry friend levels an annoyed look at me as I wake him from his nap atop my shoulder and hold him out to the older couple. "I found him in the forest."
"Oh." The old woman blinks away the wetness in her eyes and smiles. "And isn't he a handsome little man?"
I nodded in agreement. I hadn't just snatched the first furry creature I'd seen. A [Hero] had to have standards in her choice of companions. But before I could bring him closer to show off the glossy coat on his fur, Markus managed to squirm his way out of my hold and scamper back up my arm to his perch on my shoulder.
"He was the one with the fluffiest tail."
"You chose well, young lass. Red-tailed squirrels are a symbol of good luck around these parts."
I run a finger gently down the red stripe on Markus's tail and smile happily. Having a rare animal companion—and one that symbolized luck, no less—was a sure sign that I was on the right track with my quest to become a [Hero].
"Now there's a smile." The old woman's face brightens further, almost to what it was before the mention of her dead daughter. "Shall we have some dinner, my dears?"
"A pack of wild horses couldn't keep me away, love."
The old man responds first, and I have to resist an urge to frown. Unless he was much stronger than he looked—and unfortunately, with my [Dissection of the Root] sealed away, I couldn't see his level or skills—he wouldn't stand much of a chance against one horse, let alone a pack of them.
On the other hand, I knew villains got stronger as they got older, so perhaps it was the same for [Farmers].
Well, there was only one way to know for sure.
"Are you sure, mister? You don't look that strong."
The old woman blinks once and then explodes in cackling laughter that drowns out the sputtered response from the old man. At first, the old man scowls at his wife, but that doesn't last long before he, too, seems to get caught up in her laughter.
I watch, bewildered, as they lean against each other and laugh in a way that reminds me of a coven of [Banshees] I had once worked with. Eventually, the surprisingly loud and vibrant laughter dies down enough as the two of them try to regather their breath.
As the old people gather themselves, I find myself caught between two feelings. On the one hand, it was… not unpleasant watching them laugh. Yet, on the other, their laughter had left me no closer to knowing whether or not [Farmers] grew stronger with age.
"Oh, dear. I do believe I needed that. It's been a long few weeks. And I haven't seen my husband put in his place so neatly since Sera left."
The smile that accompanies her words is something I do recognize. It was the same one I wore when I missed my sisters and wondered what they were up to.
Wistful. That was the word.
"Do you like fish, dear?"
I nod my agreement. My favorite were the big ones that lived deep in the ocean. They were wonderfully juicy, and the way they crunched when my teeth snapped through their spine was simply delightful.
"Then you'll love my world-renowned Reitz Stew." The woman grins, doubtless smug over having created such a famous recipe. "I make it with leeks, watercress, a secret blend of herbs and spices, and a few generous chunks of river perch."
As she finishes the explanation, the old woman sweeps a trio of bowls into one arm and ladles out stew until the bowls are just shy of full to the brim. With similarly expert precision, she gracefully hands a bowl to me and then her husband before taking the third for herself.
Seeing my impressed look, she smirks. "I spent some time in the capital as a [Server] when I was a much younger lady. It's how I met my Henrick."
"She left a note on my plate with an address, and like a fool, I went, not sure whether I was going to be mugged or fu-."
"Henrick!"
I ignore the sharp, whispered conversation between the two in favor of scooping up the biggest piece of fish in my bowl with my wooden spoon.
I'd once worked for an overlord who had kidnapped Odril's sixth best [Chef] and [Soul Bound] him to servitude. It had been a real shame when a cross-city rival had assassinated him, but I'd learned a lot about food in my time there, so I knew I would be able to judge this world-famous stew accordingly.
I bring the steaming hot spoonful of fish to my mouth, pausing to blow on it twice—because I knew that's what I was supposed to do in my smaller form—and take a bite.
I roll the bite around in my mouth and chew slowly and deliberately. The fish was just as juicy as I'd expected, and the broth tasted like lemongrass and pepper and a faint floral freshness that I couldn't quite identify. I chew a few more times, letting the flavors meld on my tongue as I judge the taste before swallowing.
I let my spoon fall into the bowl and held out my free hand with a thumbs up, just like I had been taught. "This is really good. You could easily be the seventh best [Chef] in Odril with a recipe like this."
"There you go, love. A top-ten ranking in Odril. That's quite the achievement for your stew, isn't it?" The old man chuckles into his stew, only to let out a soft 'oof' as his wife digs her elbow sharply into his side.
"Thank you, dear." This time, the smile is one far more familiar to me. It had quite an impressive tinge of menace. "Would you like seconds?"
"Yes, please."
A hand shakes at my shoulder, and I twist deeper into my blankets with a mumbled 'grmfblrl,' fully intending to ignore whatever was trying to wake me up. As the hand shakes me a second time, I feel a moment of confusion as to why my aura hadn't already murdered whoever was bothering me before my immaculate memory reminds me that I had sealed it away along with the rest of my [Calamity] skills.
Before I can be shaken a third time, I yawn and stretch my arms above my head before opening my eyes to see the old woman smiling above me.
"Good morning, dear."
"Mrgrbl."
"The guards have cleared the crimson alert and decided to let folks enter early."
I rub the crust out of my eyes as sleep drains from my body and sit up so I can stretch my legs before the old woman's words filter into my brain.
"Really? Then there's no time to lose."
I jump upright and snag the scarf the old woman had given me last night. I wrap it around my neck with one hand and then sweep it around so that one end trails down my chest and the other down my back.
I look down into my makeshift bedding and snap my fingers. "C'mon, Markus. Wake up. We've got to go."
My furry companion twitches twice before rolling onto his stomach and running over to scramble up my leg and take his spot on my shoulder.
"Thanks for dinner, ma'am, but we've got to go," I call out over my shoulder as I rush to where a line of people is slowly assembling. I had to hurry. If I waited too long, I'd be stuck in line all day.
"Oh? You don't have to rush, dear. Henrick and I would be happy for your company."
There's something in her voice that tugs at something inside me. I bring a fist up to thump at my chest a few times until the feeling goes away.
I turn to the old woman and her husband and wave a hand over my head in a sweeping motion. "Thank you, but I have to go. I'm going to be a [Hero]."
Without waiting for a response, I start running toward the city. And my destiny.
My destiny ended up being stuck behind a large, red-haired man talking loudly to a dirty-looking man with a short bow strapped to his back and a pimply young man with what looked like the world's least impressive grimoire dangling from a chain about his waist.
They were an adventuring team. I knew that because of the bracelets wrapped around each of their wrists. Bronze, which marked them as E-Rank if I remembered correctly, and thanks to my immaculate memory, I knew that I did.
For a moment, I consider moving closer to better overhear the response to his practically bellowed questions. After all, gaining the wisdom of my soon-to-be seniors in the adventurer's guild seemed like a good idea. But when I spot a space opening up as an exhausted-looking group of farmers lagged a pace or two behind the slow shuffle of the line, another, far better idea occurs to me.
With the grace of a [Calamity] tip-toeing through the wilderness, I duck behind the large man and use his size to screen everyone's view as I dash for the spot that had opened up in front of the line.
I ignore a chorus of grumpy shouting as I plant myself in front of the [Guard] waving people into the city.
"Hi."
"Name, class, and reason for visit."
A bored stare framed by one of those metal helmets that only covered the top of someone's head meets my enthusiastic smile, and a rush of disappointment washes through me. It wasn't that I expected the [Guard] to know that he was welcoming a future [Hero] into the city. Nor was it because I apparently had to answer a quiz to enter the city. No, it was because my enthusiastic smile had never failed to elicit a response before.
Well, I frowned to myself. If he didn't like my smile, then he definitely didn't deserve to see it. Instead, he'd get the same stare I'd give a particularly incompetent lackey.
"Ciel. No class. I want to be an adventurer."
I tried my best to make my voice a flat monotone, utterly devoid of warmth or emotion, but even then, I could barely match the pure apathy and indifference to life that the guard had asked his questions with. My stare, however, was clearly the superior one. I knew that because the [Guard] instantly started to flinch and fidget in place.
And so, when his eyes fall from mine and drop to the ground, I graciously accept victory in our little contest and relax back into a smile—a far smaller one than I'd used earlier. He didn't deserve anything more.
"Thank you. I'm going in now."
I don't wait for the [Guard] to snap out of his stupor, and I completely ignore his voice shouting things like 'Come back' and 'I haven't given you clearance to enter' as I run happily into the city.
I was finally here, in Reitzland, The City of Adventurers, and the place where I would finally become a [Hero].
Half an hour later—I knew that much time had passed because I was counting the bells that rang from the city's clocktower—and after passing a fountain of a man with a crown riding on top of a giant fish for the third time, I realized that I didn't know where I was supposed to go.
It wasn't that I was lost. No. Never that. [Heroes] certainly never got lost. Neither, for that matter, did [Calamities]. So, I'd be the laughing stock of two worlds if I were lost, which I clearly wasn't. I was just enjoying the sights of the first non-rampaged city I'd ever been to.
The villains and overlords I usually worked with preferred abandoned castles and dank caverns—something about it being hard to assemble an army of occasionally cannibalistic soldiers in the middle of a city. And while I knew some overlords preferred cities, the city-dwelling types didn't tend to have the kind of jobs I enjoyed. Apparently, collateral damage was undesirable when you wanted to rule a city from the shadows rather than as an iron-fisted dictator.
Which was really a shame since I had a sneaking suspicion that city-dwelling villains were a bit more refined than the ones I had grown so tired of. Not that that mattered any more either way. I was here to be a [Hero], and that meant stopping any up-and-coming villains, not joining them.
And so, I turn my attention away from different kinds of villains and feel a thrill course through me as my eyes land on a vine-covered wall with a pair of balconies dotting the top floor of the building. I'd never stayed at an inn before—at least not one I hadn't rampaged through or on top of before—and I was looking forward to checking that off my list.
After looking my fill of the inn, I turn the other direction only for my eyes to light up again at the sight of a wooden plaque with a pair of swords crossed over a shield. I'd never been to a blacksmith, either, since my skin and claws were far, far stronger than steel, and my aura could shrug off everything but the strongest of [Relics]. But when I became an adventurer, I'd definitely need to shop here—though I'll probably wait until I find a party so I'd know what role I need to occupy.
I turn to look for yet another sight I'd only read about in my books, but that odd grumbly noise from my stomach stops me. Was I hungry again already? This was such a hassle. How did non-[Calamaties] deal with this?
I look at Markus and notice that his tiny, furry belly seems to be grumbling, just like mine. "We need to find something to eat, don't we?"
"Chirp."
I take that sound as a 'yes' and turn my perfectly honed senses toward finding something to eat. Expanding out my eyes and ears is easy enough, but one quickly aborted attempt to do the same with my nose is enough for me to pull back that sense and swear never to try that again.
Who knew cities could smell that bad?
Still, my ears had been enough to pick up the sound of someone shouting about 'Fresh baked buns,' once I recovered from gagging at the smell of a hundred unwashed latrines, I'd go find those buns.
I step up to the counter and smile up at a pudgy, balding man wearing a stained apron. "Hi. Markus and I are hungry. Can we have something to eat?"
Markus sits up from his lazy sprawl on my shoulder and places his paws together in front of him, and I turn my smile up as bright as it will go.
"Ya' got any money, kid?" The man stares down at me, nonplussed, as he wipes his hands back and forth along his apron.
"Nope." I shake my head. I'd never needed it as a [Calamity], and from my reading, money always seemed to rain down upon [Heroes] when they needed it, so I hadn't bothered taking any coins from the [Lord of Fallen Flame] when I'd left.
"Ya' don't look like an urchin kid, so why don't ya' get yer parents to buy ya' something?"
That was the second time someone had mentioned my parents in the last day or so. Were people really that concerned about my creator? Well, he must have been quite powerful to have been able to create my sisters and me. Not so strong that he'd been able to survive after he'd started trying to order us around, but still.
"He's dead."
The man stops wiping his hands against his apron and leans forward to stare at me. "Suppose that means yer ma's gone too?"
I'd never even considered the idea of a mother. Even after letting my mind shatter into fractal patterns and looking for something I could call a mother, I came up blank. Unless I counted the far depths of the Far Planes that my creator had stolen to create my sisters and me. But that was quite a stretch. The Wyrd could become many things, but I was almost certain a mother was not one of them.
"Never had one."
"Look, kid. I feel for ya', but I ain't running a charity here, so…" the man trails off as he leans even closer, "Bah. A roll or two's not gonna make a difference."
After saying that, he grabs a flakey-looking piece of bread that was stuffed, seemingly bursting with what looked like chocolate. Pain au chocolat if I remembered what that [Soul Bound Chef] had called them, and thanks to my impeccable memory, I certainly did. He then grabs a long stick of bread—a baguette, my infallible memory tells me—and wraps them in a thin piece of wax paper.
"Here, kid. I ain't gonna feed ya' every day, but if ya' come 'round near closing time, I might have a snack or two waiting for ya'."
"Thank you, mister." I accept the bounty with my brightest smile yet and immediately break off a piece of the chocolate bread for Markus.
"Yeah, yeah." The man looks away as he scratches the back of his head. "Stay out of trouble ya' hear me."
"I will," I promise as I start walking away. After all, I would be a [Hero], and [Heroes] never got into trouble.
After securing a meal for Markus and myself, I wandered back to the fish king statue and sat down upon the lip of it so we could eat. Apparently, we had both been quite hungry since we consumed the chocolate bread and the long bread stick in minutes.
As I lean back on my hands, careful not to let my scarf dip into the fountain water. I ponder what to do next. I knew I needed to find the adventurer's guild, but despite my best attempts, I had so far been roundly defeated by the maze of streets and intersections of Reitzland.
If only I could still use my larger form. Finding the guild would be easy then. I'd just have had to look for the building all the people trying to attack me were pouring out of.
That wasn't an option now, though. So, instead, I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns as it chases a thousand different ideas down to their conclusion.
When my mind reforms an instant later, I smile widely because I have not one but three potential plans laid out in front of me.
[] First, I could ask the shady [Information Broker] lurking in a nearby alley for directions. As a [Calamity], I was well-versed in getting valuable information from that kind of person.
[] Second, I could go into the rowdy bar I'd seen a few intersections back and ask someone there for directions. My stories all said that bars were the best place to find information.
[] Third, I could shout at the top of my lungs that I needed help. Whenever I had shown up to rampage, that kind of shouting had always drawn a lot of people trying to help.
[AN]
In my outline, Ciel was going to wander between campsites and meet several different groups that night. I blew through the word count I'd allotted for that first meeting almost immediately. I think it probably works better as one ~ 2.3k-word scene rather than as three ~ 800-word scenes, though.
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In which a Villainess becomes an adventurer (almost)
Unlike the dilemma in which I had found myself last night, the choice between the three options my genius had just come up with was really quite simple.
While going and talking to the [Information Broker] was an interesting idea and would have likely ended up with me meeting one of the many criminal organizations that infested Reitzland's streets, it wasn't the choice a [Hero] would make. Unless said [Hero] was going undercover to infiltrate a slaving ring that stretched to the highest levels of society in order to bring it crashing down, of course.
But while that sounded fun, and also a really good way to practice my heroic instincts, even I knew that I needed a quest for it first. And a party member or two to handle some of the more boring tasks, like staking out the villain's hideout or uncovering clues in books that weren't about [Heroes]. So, despite the potential of the idea, I was ultimately forced to cross it off my list. However, I made a note in my impeccable memory to come back and talk to him when I inevitably received a quest to destroy an evil slave trading ring.
That left me with just two options. Of which the second one was probably the simplest: just stand up on the fountain and start shouting. But I only had to think about this one for a moment or two before crossing it off, just as I had my first idea, primarily because I had no idea what exactly I should be shouting.
People usually shouted things like 'Aahhh, the pain!!!!' or 'Save me!!!' or 'Dead Gods, what is that thing!?!'—that last one mostly when I was new to an area—when I was around. But I wasn't in pain, and I didn't need saving. Plus, thanks to the [Well of Urdr], I knew exactly what answers the dead gods would give to that question—or any other for that matter.
Nothing. The answer was nothing because they were dead.
And tasty.
Like all the flavors of every meal I'd ever eaten rolled into one, but not as disgusting as that would probably be in reality.
I shake my head to banish that delicious memory and discreetly wipe away a thin trickle of drool from the edge of my mouth before Markus can see it. I had an image as a soon-to-be [Hero] to protect, and [Heroes] certainly didn't drool over the delicious taste of dead gods.
That left only one option: asking someone at the inn bursting with noise and music and shouting that we'd passed a while back. Fortunately, there was nowhere better to find someone who could direct me to the Adventurer's Guild than a place of drunken debauchery. Those were two of the four prime traits of adventurers everywhere, after all.
The other two traits were insatiable greed and reckless stupidity, but the only place I could think of that would cater to those two traits was an Adventurers Guildhouse. And if I knew where it was, I'd be there already.
A tug on my hair halts me right before I can push the inn door open. I turn to look at what had touched me, only to see that my furry friend had his paws clapped firmly over his adorable little ears. A confused frown crosses my face before smoothing away as my genius mind points out the source of his obvious discomfort.
The inn was too loud for him.
Thanks to my immaculate senses, I could filter and separate out the dozens of different noises within. But for Markus, who wasn't gifted with auditory perfection, I could only imagine what the cacophony inside would sound like.
"Do you want to wait outside?"
My companion nods twice before raising his paws to point at a tree growing in the intersection between two streets. It was a nice tree, full of bright green leaves and clumps of nuts, but other than that, I wasn't sure why he'd point it out to me. Well, I guess squirrels would possess a certain aesthetic sense for trees, but other than that-
"Chirp."
Oh, that's where he wanted to wait while I went inside to find us a guide. Why didn't he just say so?
"OK, but don't wander too far, and make sure you keep an eye out for hawks."
At my agreement, Markus leaps from my shoulder and scampers over to the tree.
I wait until he's safely ensconced in the higher branches of the tree before waving at him, smiling happily when he waves a tiny, furred paw in response. Then I walk back over to the noisy inn. My hand settles on the smooth wood of the door, and I exhale slowly. This was it. I was so close to becoming a [Hero] that I could practically taste it. All I had to do was open the door and go inside.
The slam of the door opening as I step inside is nearly inaudible. Even my perfectly honed ears would have had to focus directly to hear it over the noise of the inn. But why would I want to do that when there were so many other things to focus on instead?
To one side, a pair of tables were laden down with platters filled to near overflowing with gray cuts of meat, oddly shaped loaves of bread, and wheels of crumbly, yellow cheese. Surrounding this unpleasant-looking meal were dozens of scarred men and women in tight-fitting armor fashioned from leather and chained links of metal. A simple flag featuring a black eagle set against a red background marked these men and women as the Black Eagle Company, a mercenary company that hailed from the far north, if my infallible memory was correct, and it always was.
At the head of one of the tables, a pale-skinned man with a patch set over his left eye is bellowing out something that even my impeccable hearing had difficulty discerning. I pause briefly to look more closely to see if he was dying before concluding he was just drunk. The only other time I'd heard sounds like that was from a minotaur that had been crushed from the waist down by a [Calamity]'s stomp.
On the other side of the inn was another group of mercenaries, though where the first one mainly wore leather and chain, this group wore a kind of thick, flowing cloth that I remember being popular in the deserts to the west. They were also much more tanned than the other group, a fact which supported my brilliant deduction that they were, in fact, from the Sandswept Lands. As did a flag with a brown fox set against a yellow background—The Desert Foxes.
A disgusted look forms on my face, and I make no effort to cover it. The gross food alone was bad enough, but the presence of so many mercenaries marked the inn as one of the worst places I'd ever visited. Mercenaries were the eternal rival to adventurers everywhere. Not only did they take fun and dangerous quests that would have otherwise gone to adventurers, but instead of completing them with bravery and a reckless disregard for personal safety, they used cowardly things like tactics and discretion.
All in all, this inn was clearly a vile place, and if I were not otherwise occupied in my quest to become a [Hero], I might have taken some time to do something about it. Fortunately for the staff and non-mercenary patrons—and maybe the rest of the city, too—I was here for something else.
Directions.
So, instead of rampaging all over this establishment, I move over to a woman being groped by one of the northern mercenaries and reach out to tug on her apron. Both the woman and the man groping her turn toward me, one with a hopeful face that soon falls into disappointment and the other with an annoyed look that only grows deeper as I match his scowl with my own.
"I need directions to the Adventurer's Guild."
The woman blinks, seeming lost for words, but that only gives the mercenary a chance to respond first.
"Piss off, brat. Can't ya see we're busy?"
As if to punctuate his statement, the mercenary raises the hand he'd been using to grope the woman's rear and starts pawing at her chest.
A frown crosses my face at that, and I debate unsealing my aura just enough to eviscerate this rude man, but luckily for him, I decide not to. After all, if I killed this man, then I would probably have to kill all his friends. And then I would have to kill everyone else in the inn to keep my massacre a secret. And even with my fledgling heroic instincts, I knew wanton slaughter was not heroic.
Unfortunately, that left me with something of a quandary because I could tell from the look on the woman's face that she wouldn't be answering my question in her current situation. And so, if I wanted directions, it seemed as though I would have to find some way of prising her from this mercenary's lechery.
Fortunately, just because I wouldn't be dealing out swift yet agonizingly painful death, that didn't mean I was without options. After all, being a [Calamity] also meant being a genius. And so, I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns as I chased a plan that would free this woman and not involve me slaughtering everyone around me.
An instant later, my mind reforms with a fool-proof plan, and I smile happily. I really was a genius.
I knew from my time rampaging in the Northern Kingdoms that not only were the men and women there incredibly prickly about their honor, but that the people of that land also harbored a deep-seated resentment for their southern neighbors because [Calamities] rarely rampaged that far west. Which only made sense. Sand gets everywhere, especially in between a [Calamity's] armor plates.
With those two facts firmly in mind, my plan practically assembled itself. First, I would fan that flame of resentment into an open conflagration by insulting the mercenary until he reached a frothing rage. Then, I would cleverly pin the blame for my insults on one of the Yellow Fox mercenaries.
"Excuse me, sir, but that man over there," I point to the eye-patched mercenary captain, still singing in a way that sounded as though he was being tortured. "Said that you have teeth so soft you couldn't even chew through sandstone."
"Huh?"
I frown. That was my go-to insult when I wanted to get one of my sisters riled up, but instead of a blast of annihilating energy, the mercenary was just staring at me with a dumb look of incomprehension on his face. Well, whatever, I had better.
"Your limbs are sadly symmetrical and over-reliant on bone for structure."
"Wha?"
My frown deepens. If I had insulted one of my sister's limbs like that, our fight would have devastated dozens of miles of landscape. Yet it didn't even seem to register to this human. Right, well, OK, time to bring out the big claws.
"Your armor plates are so thin I bet they couldn't even withstand a tier 3 spell."
"Buh?"
My frown transforms into a full-on scowl. That was my best insult, but all it had gotten was a blank stare from this drunken fool. Where was the anger? Where was the bile and rage? How could this human hear such an offensive thing said about him and offer nothing more than a mildly confused stare?
I couldn't believe it. Was my brilliant plan truly not working? I feel my cheeks start to burn. This had never happened before. I've never been so embarrassed before in my life. And by a pitiful human at that.
I reach into the place deep within my soul where I store my [Calamity] powers. I would have to kill everyone in here. No one could ever know of this humiliation. I would have to be careful not to cause too much damage, though. Markus was still waiting outside.
Something slams against my foot as I debate whether to use a [Ray of Annihilation] to simply erase this inn from existence or just start lashing out with my aura. I blink out of my contemplation and frown as I see a woman being groped, even as she shakes her foot and hisses with pain. My internal debate pauses momentarily, and I open my mouth to ask why she attacked me, but before I can, she mouths the words 'insult his mother.'
I frown at that suggestion. He'd taken my best insults without a single flinch. How would insulting his mother do anything? If I'd tried that with any of my sisters, I'd be laughed out every gathering from now until the earth turned to dust.
No. I shake my head firmly. I'd never had a plan to insult this fool into a frenzy. My plan right now was leaning toward blasting the inn with a wave of raw magic. If I did it right, there'd be enough concussive force to turn the people in the inn to shreds of meat and bone while leaving the inn itself untouched.
Once again, I'm interrupted before I can decide on how to start my rampage by an attack to my foot. I look at the woman who mouths the same suggestion, only this time, a frantic, almost desperate stare accompanies it.
Fine. I nod. I would try the woman's suggestion. When it inevitably failed, there would be plenty of time for slaughter.
"He also said your mother has the grace of a pregnant bear and chews her food like a cow."
"HE SAID WHAT!!?!!" I blink in surprise as the mercenary surges to his feet, tosses the woman he'd been groping aside, and stomps loudly over to where the other mercenary leader was sitting.
"This has got to be the dumbest thing I've seen all year."
The woman mutters to herself as she fixes her outfit while slowly pushing herself to her feet. She turns to look at me, and something too complex for even my refined [Calamity] senses to decipher flickers across her face.
"Look, kid. I appreciate what you did, but it's-"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!! MY MOMMA DOES NOT CHEW HER FOOD LIKE A COW!!! SHE'S A QUEEN AMONG WOMEN!!!"
There's a moment of absolute silence as the mercenary I'd been insulting lands a fist on the eye-patched mercenary and sends him sprawling across the floor. Said moment of silence is shattered an instant later by the sound of benches scraping against wood as dozens of mercenaries push themselves to their feet and launch themselves in nearly perfect synchronicity into a maelstrom of fists and makeshift weaponry and flying food.
A pleased smile crosses my face as I take in the violence unfolding in front of me, only for my enjoyment to be immediately interrupted by a hand grabbing my arm and tugging uselessly.
"Fuck, kid. What the hell do they feed you?"
I consider answering truthfully before deciding that probably fell under the same umbrella of [Calamity] things I shouldn't talk about. So, instead, I answered with the first things that came to mind.
"Reitz Stew and pan au chocolat."
All I receive for my honesty is a blank stare and a renewed tugging on my arm. "That's- that was a rhetorical question. Come on, we've got to get the fuck out of here."
"You don't want to stay and watch?" I shift my head to the side and let a fork fly through the space where my right eye had been. "They don't seem to be that skilled at fighting, but the enthusiastic bloodlust kind of makes up for it, doesn't it?"
"Shit. You're even crazier than them. Well fuck that, I'm out of here."
I turn back to the melee and smile as I watch a man being choked with his own belt. Even a scuffle like this had a charm all of its own. That woman didn't know what she was missing-
Wait a minute. I couldn't let her leave. She had my directions.
After her.
I sprint back toward the entrance, ignoring a pair of brawling mercenaries as they bounce off me in favor of focusing my attention on the flicker of a dirty-white apron as it escapes through the front door.
Faster.
If I lost sight of her now, I'd have to find another inn and do all this over again.
I push myself to the limits of the speed I could reach without tapping into my [Calamity] powers and reach the door she'd escaped from just before it had a chance to close completely. I crash through the door, ignoring splinters of wood as they rain down around me, and frantically scan up and down the street, looking for my prey.
A relieved smile crosses my face as I see her hunched over at the waist a hundred paces or so up the street.
"C'mon Markus I found our directions."
I call out to my furry friend, who was lounging on a branch and nibbling at a nut, before running toward the panting woman.
"Sorry, miss. Normally, I'd let you flee in terror, but I really do need directions to the Adventurer's Guild."
"Heh. You've got a weird sense of humor, kid." the woman pants a few more times before straightening upright. "Name's Victoria. Since you got me out of a spot of trouble back there, I guess I can do that."
She trails off and looks back toward the inn, which was starting to leak a dark gray smoke through an open window. "And it looks like I'll have to find somewhere else to work. Great."
"This is Markus." I introduce my furry friend as he finishes scampering up my leg and plops down onto his perch. "And I'm Ciel."
"Ciel and a pet squirrel, gotcha."
I manage to withhold a frown at the rudeness she was showing my friend, but only because Markus seemed more interested in curling up into a ball with his tail as a pillow than taking offense. So, instead, I turn my judgment elsewhere.
"You shouldn't work at a place that serves mercenaries anyways, you know. They're the worst."
"Heh. Well, I can't argue with that."
If she knew that, then why did she serve them? Even I—a [Calamity] who had been conceived as one of the seven harbingers that would herald the death of the world—had realized that I shouldn't do things like that, so-
"Alright, let's get you to the Adventurer's Guild, and then I can get a drink and forget all about today."
"Yeah! Let's go!" I shout in agreement, my previous line of thought vanishing into the aether as I smile brightly at the woman.
I was so close to being a [Hero] that I could almost taste it.
"Hello." I smile at the receptionist sitting neatly behind her desk. "I'm Ciel."
"This is Markus." Markus perks up from his lounging repose on my shoulder and waves a furry paw.
"And this is Victoria." My guide sighs and stares off into the distance until I poke her with a finger, then she offers a polite smile.
"Markus and I are here to become adventurers, and Victoria needs a job since her old one burned down."
The receptionist takes us all in with a professional smile and nods.
"Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild. Since you and Markus appear under the age of eighteen, I will need to see parental authorization. As for Victoria, if she can pour drinks or clean up after adventurers, we can find something for her to do."
"My creator is dead, and I don't have a mother." I turn to Markus, and he shrugs his furry shoulders. "Markus is all by himself, too. And as long as the adventurers don't grope her, I think Victoria will be fine."
"Thanks, kid, but I can speak for myself." The former server sighs loudly. "I can't say I'm doing well enough to turn down a job, but…"
The receptionist smiles again in a way that seems somehow more real while not being even the slightest less professional. "I understand completely. Guildmaster Alis takes a dim view of that kind of crass behavior."
While Victoria nods at that, my impeccable memory perks up. Wasn't Alis the one Reitzland had brought in to drive me away for good some years back? It was good to hear that complete and utter defeat hadn't broken her spirit.
"That's great." I smile at the receptionist and then turn to Victoria, "See, I told you adventurers were better than mercenaries."
"I suppose so."
I wasn't sure why she looked so defeated as she agreed with me, but I let it go. I had a far more important task here anyway. "So, can Markus and I get our bracelets?"
"Not quite yet."
My head drops. Markus rubs his furry head against my neck, and I reach up to pet his tail. I'd be fine. 'Not quite yet.' wasn't a 'No.' I don't know what I'd have done if she'd said no, but it probably would have involved [Devourer of Dead Gods].
While I'm busy drowning in disappointment, the receptionist turns to my guide and points toward the back of the common room. "If you want to go ahead and hop behind the bar, Victoria, I'm sure the louts loitering around would appreciate it,"
My guide leaves without so much as a wave bye. However, in my state, I'm not sure that I'd have even noticed if she had. I do, however, notice when the receptionist slams two stacks of paper onto her desk.
"You two, on the other hand, have some paperwork to read. Your interview with Alis will have to wait until she gets back, but after that, you'll officially be members of the Adventurer's Guild."
I perk up with a smile and grab a ream of paper as thick as my fist—in my smaller form, at least—and quickly start flipping through pages, committing each word to my immaculate memory in an instant.
I scribble my name messily on the last page and turn to look at Markus, only to stifle the urge to fidget as I see just how much he has left to read. Instead of saying something rude to my friend, I turn my attention to the nearly empty common room.
"Where is everyone? Aren't guildhouses supposed to be full of drunk adventurers?"
"Heh, that they are." The receptionist smirks, "But there was a disturbance on Lorelai Lane… something about a pair of mercenary companies burning down an inn."
She shrugs as if to say, 'What can you do?' and I nod in agreement. Mercenaries were an untrustworthy lot. It was entirely unsurprising that they'd burned down an inn.
"So the city invoked Clause 2F and asked us to help?" I ask, already slotting myself in mentally as an adventurer since I practically was.
She raises an eyebrow, seemingly impressed that despite my skimming over the ream of adventurer regulations, I knew the correct regulation.
"Everyone of E-rank or above went to limit the collateral damage."
"That's great!" I nod, not just pleased that my fellow adventurers were so diligent in their responsibilities but that their absence would make scoping out the next member of my party that much easier—if I partnered up with someone too advanced, I'd never become a [Hero].
"Yes, well, the fires they started were threatening to spread to the rest of the neighborhood, so it's good they finally came to us for help."
I ignore that in favor of looking over at Markus, who seems to be placing his pawprint on the final page. After all, what else could you expect from a mercenary other than senseless destruction?
"Done?"
"Chirp."
"Make sure to wipe your paws first."
I hold out my hand, palm up, to stop my friend before he can hop back onto my shoulder and ruin my new scarf. Once he's wiped the ink on his paw all over the desk, I nod, and he hops back to his perch.
"Thanks…" the receptionist looks at me and then down to the streaks of ink Markus had left behind on her desk.
"You're welcome."
I smile briefly at the receptionist before casting her from my mind and turning to look at the mostly empty common room.
There were a handful of boring-looking figures—the kind of adventurers who bullied a soon-to-be [Hero] only to find themselves at said [Hero]'s mercy a few chapters later—that I almost immediately ignored. But there were three figures in the common room that seemed to deserve further scrutiny.
The first of them was a girl with dark hair and a pair of pointy, cat-like ears. While the ears were nice, almost as nice as Markus's, I was more interested in the fact that she was balancing a straight-bladed knife with one hand while she turned the pages of a book with her other. A teammate who liked to read and could multitask was definitely a plus.
The next was a blonde who had scooched together a pair of chairs, one to rest her legs on and one to slouch the rest of her body on top of. I would have dismissed her as a potential bully if it weren't for the fact that she was feeding herself with a spoon enchanted to move without her touching it. A mage was an unusual choice for a first partner—on account of their lack of durability—but then most [Heroes] weren't me.
The final person who rose above the boring milieu was a tall, muscly redhead who was now pestering Victoria for something. I would have ignored her as well, but when she went back to a table covered in empty wine bottles and beer mugs with a drink in each hand, I realized just how impressive her alcohol tolerance was—a critically important quality for any would-be adventurer.
All I had to do was pick one.
[] The catgirl with a knife
[] The lazy blonde mage
[] The drunk redhead
[AN]
It's early days for Ciel and for this quest, but I'll be taking suggestions for non-Ciel POVs for interlude chapters.
While going and talking to the [Information Broker] was an interesting idea and would have likely ended up with me meeting one of the many criminal organizations that infested Reitzland's streets, it wasn't the choice a [Hero] would make. Unless said [Hero] was going undercover to infiltrate a slaving ring that stretched to the highest levels of society in order to bring it crashing down, of course.
But while that sounded fun, and also a really good way to practice my heroic instincts, even I knew that I needed a quest for it first. And a party member or two to handle some of the more boring tasks, like staking out the villain's hideout or uncovering clues in books that weren't about [Heroes]. So, despite the potential of the idea, I was ultimately forced to cross it off my list. However, I made a note in my impeccable memory to come back and talk to him when I inevitably received a quest to destroy an evil slave trading ring.
That left me with just two options. Of which the second one was probably the simplest: just stand up on the fountain and start shouting. But I only had to think about this one for a moment or two before crossing it off, just as I had my first idea, primarily because I had no idea what exactly I should be shouting.
People usually shouted things like 'Aahhh, the pain!!!!' or 'Save me!!!' or 'Dead Gods, what is that thing!?!'—that last one mostly when I was new to an area—when I was around. But I wasn't in pain, and I didn't need saving. Plus, thanks to the [Well of Urdr], I knew exactly what answers the dead gods would give to that question—or any other for that matter.
Nothing. The answer was nothing because they were dead.
And tasty.
Like all the flavors of every meal I'd ever eaten rolled into one, but not as disgusting as that would probably be in reality.
I shake my head to banish that delicious memory and discreetly wipe away a thin trickle of drool from the edge of my mouth before Markus can see it. I had an image as a soon-to-be [Hero] to protect, and [Heroes] certainly didn't drool over the delicious taste of dead gods.
That left only one option: asking someone at the inn bursting with noise and music and shouting that we'd passed a while back. Fortunately, there was nowhere better to find someone who could direct me to the Adventurer's Guild than a place of drunken debauchery. Those were two of the four prime traits of adventurers everywhere, after all.
The other two traits were insatiable greed and reckless stupidity, but the only place I could think of that would cater to those two traits was an Adventurers Guildhouse. And if I knew where it was, I'd be there already.
A tug on my hair halts me right before I can push the inn door open. I turn to look at what had touched me, only to see that my furry friend had his paws clapped firmly over his adorable little ears. A confused frown crosses my face before smoothing away as my genius mind points out the source of his obvious discomfort.
The inn was too loud for him.
Thanks to my immaculate senses, I could filter and separate out the dozens of different noises within. But for Markus, who wasn't gifted with auditory perfection, I could only imagine what the cacophony inside would sound like.
"Do you want to wait outside?"
My companion nods twice before raising his paws to point at a tree growing in the intersection between two streets. It was a nice tree, full of bright green leaves and clumps of nuts, but other than that, I wasn't sure why he'd point it out to me. Well, I guess squirrels would possess a certain aesthetic sense for trees, but other than that-
"Chirp."
Oh, that's where he wanted to wait while I went inside to find us a guide. Why didn't he just say so?
"OK, but don't wander too far, and make sure you keep an eye out for hawks."
At my agreement, Markus leaps from my shoulder and scampers over to the tree.
I wait until he's safely ensconced in the higher branches of the tree before waving at him, smiling happily when he waves a tiny, furred paw in response. Then I walk back over to the noisy inn. My hand settles on the smooth wood of the door, and I exhale slowly. This was it. I was so close to becoming a [Hero] that I could practically taste it. All I had to do was open the door and go inside.
The slam of the door opening as I step inside is nearly inaudible. Even my perfectly honed ears would have had to focus directly to hear it over the noise of the inn. But why would I want to do that when there were so many other things to focus on instead?
To one side, a pair of tables were laden down with platters filled to near overflowing with gray cuts of meat, oddly shaped loaves of bread, and wheels of crumbly, yellow cheese. Surrounding this unpleasant-looking meal were dozens of scarred men and women in tight-fitting armor fashioned from leather and chained links of metal. A simple flag featuring a black eagle set against a red background marked these men and women as the Black Eagle Company, a mercenary company that hailed from the far north, if my infallible memory was correct, and it always was.
At the head of one of the tables, a pale-skinned man with a patch set over his left eye is bellowing out something that even my impeccable hearing had difficulty discerning. I pause briefly to look more closely to see if he was dying before concluding he was just drunk. The only other time I'd heard sounds like that was from a minotaur that had been crushed from the waist down by a [Calamity]'s stomp.
On the other side of the inn was another group of mercenaries, though where the first one mainly wore leather and chain, this group wore a kind of thick, flowing cloth that I remember being popular in the deserts to the west. They were also much more tanned than the other group, a fact which supported my brilliant deduction that they were, in fact, from the Sandswept Lands. As did a flag with a brown fox set against a yellow background—The Desert Foxes.
A disgusted look forms on my face, and I make no effort to cover it. The gross food alone was bad enough, but the presence of so many mercenaries marked the inn as one of the worst places I'd ever visited. Mercenaries were the eternal rival to adventurers everywhere. Not only did they take fun and dangerous quests that would have otherwise gone to adventurers, but instead of completing them with bravery and a reckless disregard for personal safety, they used cowardly things like tactics and discretion.
All in all, this inn was clearly a vile place, and if I were not otherwise occupied in my quest to become a [Hero], I might have taken some time to do something about it. Fortunately for the staff and non-mercenary patrons—and maybe the rest of the city, too—I was here for something else.
Directions.
So, instead of rampaging all over this establishment, I move over to a woman being groped by one of the northern mercenaries and reach out to tug on her apron. Both the woman and the man groping her turn toward me, one with a hopeful face that soon falls into disappointment and the other with an annoyed look that only grows deeper as I match his scowl with my own.
"I need directions to the Adventurer's Guild."
The woman blinks, seeming lost for words, but that only gives the mercenary a chance to respond first.
"Piss off, brat. Can't ya see we're busy?"
As if to punctuate his statement, the mercenary raises the hand he'd been using to grope the woman's rear and starts pawing at her chest.
A frown crosses my face at that, and I debate unsealing my aura just enough to eviscerate this rude man, but luckily for him, I decide not to. After all, if I killed this man, then I would probably have to kill all his friends. And then I would have to kill everyone else in the inn to keep my massacre a secret. And even with my fledgling heroic instincts, I knew wanton slaughter was not heroic.
Unfortunately, that left me with something of a quandary because I could tell from the look on the woman's face that she wouldn't be answering my question in her current situation. And so, if I wanted directions, it seemed as though I would have to find some way of prising her from this mercenary's lechery.
Fortunately, just because I wouldn't be dealing out swift yet agonizingly painful death, that didn't mean I was without options. After all, being a [Calamity] also meant being a genius. And so, I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns as I chased a plan that would free this woman and not involve me slaughtering everyone around me.
An instant later, my mind reforms with a fool-proof plan, and I smile happily. I really was a genius.
I knew from my time rampaging in the Northern Kingdoms that not only were the men and women there incredibly prickly about their honor, but that the people of that land also harbored a deep-seated resentment for their southern neighbors because [Calamities] rarely rampaged that far west. Which only made sense. Sand gets everywhere, especially in between a [Calamity's] armor plates.
With those two facts firmly in mind, my plan practically assembled itself. First, I would fan that flame of resentment into an open conflagration by insulting the mercenary until he reached a frothing rage. Then, I would cleverly pin the blame for my insults on one of the Yellow Fox mercenaries.
"Excuse me, sir, but that man over there," I point to the eye-patched mercenary captain, still singing in a way that sounded as though he was being tortured. "Said that you have teeth so soft you couldn't even chew through sandstone."
"Huh?"
I frown. That was my go-to insult when I wanted to get one of my sisters riled up, but instead of a blast of annihilating energy, the mercenary was just staring at me with a dumb look of incomprehension on his face. Well, whatever, I had better.
"Your limbs are sadly symmetrical and over-reliant on bone for structure."
"Wha?"
My frown deepens. If I had insulted one of my sister's limbs like that, our fight would have devastated dozens of miles of landscape. Yet it didn't even seem to register to this human. Right, well, OK, time to bring out the big claws.
"Your armor plates are so thin I bet they couldn't even withstand a tier 3 spell."
"Buh?"
My frown transforms into a full-on scowl. That was my best insult, but all it had gotten was a blank stare from this drunken fool. Where was the anger? Where was the bile and rage? How could this human hear such an offensive thing said about him and offer nothing more than a mildly confused stare?
I couldn't believe it. Was my brilliant plan truly not working? I feel my cheeks start to burn. This had never happened before. I've never been so embarrassed before in my life. And by a pitiful human at that.
I reach into the place deep within my soul where I store my [Calamity] powers. I would have to kill everyone in here. No one could ever know of this humiliation. I would have to be careful not to cause too much damage, though. Markus was still waiting outside.
Something slams against my foot as I debate whether to use a [Ray of Annihilation] to simply erase this inn from existence or just start lashing out with my aura. I blink out of my contemplation and frown as I see a woman being groped, even as she shakes her foot and hisses with pain. My internal debate pauses momentarily, and I open my mouth to ask why she attacked me, but before I can, she mouths the words 'insult his mother.'
I frown at that suggestion. He'd taken my best insults without a single flinch. How would insulting his mother do anything? If I'd tried that with any of my sisters, I'd be laughed out every gathering from now until the earth turned to dust.
No. I shake my head firmly. I'd never had a plan to insult this fool into a frenzy. My plan right now was leaning toward blasting the inn with a wave of raw magic. If I did it right, there'd be enough concussive force to turn the people in the inn to shreds of meat and bone while leaving the inn itself untouched.
Once again, I'm interrupted before I can decide on how to start my rampage by an attack to my foot. I look at the woman who mouths the same suggestion, only this time, a frantic, almost desperate stare accompanies it.
Fine. I nod. I would try the woman's suggestion. When it inevitably failed, there would be plenty of time for slaughter.
"He also said your mother has the grace of a pregnant bear and chews her food like a cow."
"HE SAID WHAT!!?!!" I blink in surprise as the mercenary surges to his feet, tosses the woman he'd been groping aside, and stomps loudly over to where the other mercenary leader was sitting.
"This has got to be the dumbest thing I've seen all year."
The woman mutters to herself as she fixes her outfit while slowly pushing herself to her feet. She turns to look at me, and something too complex for even my refined [Calamity] senses to decipher flickers across her face.
"Look, kid. I appreciate what you did, but it's-"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!! MY MOMMA DOES NOT CHEW HER FOOD LIKE A COW!!! SHE'S A QUEEN AMONG WOMEN!!!"
There's a moment of absolute silence as the mercenary I'd been insulting lands a fist on the eye-patched mercenary and sends him sprawling across the floor. Said moment of silence is shattered an instant later by the sound of benches scraping against wood as dozens of mercenaries push themselves to their feet and launch themselves in nearly perfect synchronicity into a maelstrom of fists and makeshift weaponry and flying food.
A pleased smile crosses my face as I take in the violence unfolding in front of me, only for my enjoyment to be immediately interrupted by a hand grabbing my arm and tugging uselessly.
"Fuck, kid. What the hell do they feed you?"
I consider answering truthfully before deciding that probably fell under the same umbrella of [Calamity] things I shouldn't talk about. So, instead, I answered with the first things that came to mind.
"Reitz Stew and pan au chocolat."
All I receive for my honesty is a blank stare and a renewed tugging on my arm. "That's- that was a rhetorical question. Come on, we've got to get the fuck out of here."
"You don't want to stay and watch?" I shift my head to the side and let a fork fly through the space where my right eye had been. "They don't seem to be that skilled at fighting, but the enthusiastic bloodlust kind of makes up for it, doesn't it?"
"Shit. You're even crazier than them. Well fuck that, I'm out of here."
I turn back to the melee and smile as I watch a man being choked with his own belt. Even a scuffle like this had a charm all of its own. That woman didn't know what she was missing-
Wait a minute. I couldn't let her leave. She had my directions.
After her.
I sprint back toward the entrance, ignoring a pair of brawling mercenaries as they bounce off me in favor of focusing my attention on the flicker of a dirty-white apron as it escapes through the front door.
Faster.
If I lost sight of her now, I'd have to find another inn and do all this over again.
I push myself to the limits of the speed I could reach without tapping into my [Calamity] powers and reach the door she'd escaped from just before it had a chance to close completely. I crash through the door, ignoring splinters of wood as they rain down around me, and frantically scan up and down the street, looking for my prey.
A relieved smile crosses my face as I see her hunched over at the waist a hundred paces or so up the street.
"C'mon Markus I found our directions."
I call out to my furry friend, who was lounging on a branch and nibbling at a nut, before running toward the panting woman.
"Sorry, miss. Normally, I'd let you flee in terror, but I really do need directions to the Adventurer's Guild."
"Heh. You've got a weird sense of humor, kid." the woman pants a few more times before straightening upright. "Name's Victoria. Since you got me out of a spot of trouble back there, I guess I can do that."
She trails off and looks back toward the inn, which was starting to leak a dark gray smoke through an open window. "And it looks like I'll have to find somewhere else to work. Great."
"This is Markus." I introduce my furry friend as he finishes scampering up my leg and plops down onto his perch. "And I'm Ciel."
"Ciel and a pet squirrel, gotcha."
I manage to withhold a frown at the rudeness she was showing my friend, but only because Markus seemed more interested in curling up into a ball with his tail as a pillow than taking offense. So, instead, I turn my judgment elsewhere.
"You shouldn't work at a place that serves mercenaries anyways, you know. They're the worst."
"Heh. Well, I can't argue with that."
If she knew that, then why did she serve them? Even I—a [Calamity] who had been conceived as one of the seven harbingers that would herald the death of the world—had realized that I shouldn't do things like that, so-
"Alright, let's get you to the Adventurer's Guild, and then I can get a drink and forget all about today."
"Yeah! Let's go!" I shout in agreement, my previous line of thought vanishing into the aether as I smile brightly at the woman.
I was so close to being a [Hero] that I could almost taste it.
"Hello." I smile at the receptionist sitting neatly behind her desk. "I'm Ciel."
"This is Markus." Markus perks up from his lounging repose on my shoulder and waves a furry paw.
"And this is Victoria." My guide sighs and stares off into the distance until I poke her with a finger, then she offers a polite smile.
"Markus and I are here to become adventurers, and Victoria needs a job since her old one burned down."
The receptionist takes us all in with a professional smile and nods.
"Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild. Since you and Markus appear under the age of eighteen, I will need to see parental authorization. As for Victoria, if she can pour drinks or clean up after adventurers, we can find something for her to do."
"My creator is dead, and I don't have a mother." I turn to Markus, and he shrugs his furry shoulders. "Markus is all by himself, too. And as long as the adventurers don't grope her, I think Victoria will be fine."
"Thanks, kid, but I can speak for myself." The former server sighs loudly. "I can't say I'm doing well enough to turn down a job, but…"
The receptionist smiles again in a way that seems somehow more real while not being even the slightest less professional. "I understand completely. Guildmaster Alis takes a dim view of that kind of crass behavior."
While Victoria nods at that, my impeccable memory perks up. Wasn't Alis the one Reitzland had brought in to drive me away for good some years back? It was good to hear that complete and utter defeat hadn't broken her spirit.
"That's great." I smile at the receptionist and then turn to Victoria, "See, I told you adventurers were better than mercenaries."
"I suppose so."
I wasn't sure why she looked so defeated as she agreed with me, but I let it go. I had a far more important task here anyway. "So, can Markus and I get our bracelets?"
"Not quite yet."
My head drops. Markus rubs his furry head against my neck, and I reach up to pet his tail. I'd be fine. 'Not quite yet.' wasn't a 'No.' I don't know what I'd have done if she'd said no, but it probably would have involved [Devourer of Dead Gods].
While I'm busy drowning in disappointment, the receptionist turns to my guide and points toward the back of the common room. "If you want to go ahead and hop behind the bar, Victoria, I'm sure the louts loitering around would appreciate it,"
My guide leaves without so much as a wave bye. However, in my state, I'm not sure that I'd have even noticed if she had. I do, however, notice when the receptionist slams two stacks of paper onto her desk.
"You two, on the other hand, have some paperwork to read. Your interview with Alis will have to wait until she gets back, but after that, you'll officially be members of the Adventurer's Guild."
I perk up with a smile and grab a ream of paper as thick as my fist—in my smaller form, at least—and quickly start flipping through pages, committing each word to my immaculate memory in an instant.
I scribble my name messily on the last page and turn to look at Markus, only to stifle the urge to fidget as I see just how much he has left to read. Instead of saying something rude to my friend, I turn my attention to the nearly empty common room.
"Where is everyone? Aren't guildhouses supposed to be full of drunk adventurers?"
"Heh, that they are." The receptionist smirks, "But there was a disturbance on Lorelai Lane… something about a pair of mercenary companies burning down an inn."
She shrugs as if to say, 'What can you do?' and I nod in agreement. Mercenaries were an untrustworthy lot. It was entirely unsurprising that they'd burned down an inn.
"So the city invoked Clause 2F and asked us to help?" I ask, already slotting myself in mentally as an adventurer since I practically was.
She raises an eyebrow, seemingly impressed that despite my skimming over the ream of adventurer regulations, I knew the correct regulation.
"Everyone of E-rank or above went to limit the collateral damage."
"That's great!" I nod, not just pleased that my fellow adventurers were so diligent in their responsibilities but that their absence would make scoping out the next member of my party that much easier—if I partnered up with someone too advanced, I'd never become a [Hero].
"Yes, well, the fires they started were threatening to spread to the rest of the neighborhood, so it's good they finally came to us for help."
I ignore that in favor of looking over at Markus, who seems to be placing his pawprint on the final page. After all, what else could you expect from a mercenary other than senseless destruction?
"Done?"
"Chirp."
"Make sure to wipe your paws first."
I hold out my hand, palm up, to stop my friend before he can hop back onto my shoulder and ruin my new scarf. Once he's wiped the ink on his paw all over the desk, I nod, and he hops back to his perch.
"Thanks…" the receptionist looks at me and then down to the streaks of ink Markus had left behind on her desk.
"You're welcome."
I smile briefly at the receptionist before casting her from my mind and turning to look at the mostly empty common room.
There were a handful of boring-looking figures—the kind of adventurers who bullied a soon-to-be [Hero] only to find themselves at said [Hero]'s mercy a few chapters later—that I almost immediately ignored. But there were three figures in the common room that seemed to deserve further scrutiny.
The first of them was a girl with dark hair and a pair of pointy, cat-like ears. While the ears were nice, almost as nice as Markus's, I was more interested in the fact that she was balancing a straight-bladed knife with one hand while she turned the pages of a book with her other. A teammate who liked to read and could multitask was definitely a plus.
The next was a blonde who had scooched together a pair of chairs, one to rest her legs on and one to slouch the rest of her body on top of. I would have dismissed her as a potential bully if it weren't for the fact that she was feeding herself with a spoon enchanted to move without her touching it. A mage was an unusual choice for a first partner—on account of their lack of durability—but then most [Heroes] weren't me.
The final person who rose above the boring milieu was a tall, muscly redhead who was now pestering Victoria for something. I would have ignored her as well, but when she went back to a table covered in empty wine bottles and beer mugs with a drink in each hand, I realized just how impressive her alcohol tolerance was—a critically important quality for any would-be adventurer.
All I had to do was pick one.
[] The catgirl with a knife
[] The lazy blonde mage
[] The drunk redhead
[AN]
It's early days for Ciel and for this quest, but I'll be taking suggestions for non-Ciel POVs for interlude chapters.
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In which a Villainess forms a party
Instinctively, I move toward the girl with cat ears—because fluffy ears—but I pause before I can fully commit. This was an important decision, perhaps the most important one of my life. According to my books, my first companion—well, my first non-Markus companion—would be my most important sidekick.
They would be the one who would stick with me through thick and thin. They would be there to provide a distraction while I heroically charge in to kill an evil dragon. They would be there to gallantly sacrifice themselves so that I could thwart an overlord's wicked plot to destroy the world. Yes, my first companion was critically important because regardless of the [Hero] quest I inevitably found, they would be there to provide fun and support.
A chirp whispers in my ear. I turn to Markus and smile. "Just thinking about something."
He chirps again before flopping back to my shoulder—what a lazy little guy. I really would have to make sure he got some exercise, or he would end up being the chubby, comic-relief companion. And neither fuzzy-Markus nor real-Markus deserved that.
Still, he was right about one thing. I shouldn't be standing in the middle of the common room staring at my future companions as they did whatever it was they did. I needed to make a choice. And so, in the time-honored tradition of [Calamities] everywhere, I closed my eyes and held out my index finger.
"Eeny meeny miny moe."
I go through the rhyme three times just to be sure before opening my eyes.
A smile crosses my face as I see my new partner eating some kind of creamy dessert from a spoon animated by [Prestidigitation]. While casting a tier 0 spell wasn't that hard, using it to eat with your eyes closed was an impressive feat for someone her age.
Or maybe it wasn't. Since I was made from raw magic, I was hardly the best judge. Still, I had opened myself to Fate to choose my first companion, and Fate had led me to her, so she was clearly the right choice.
I walk quickly over to her table but wait until her spoon is firmly settled in a dark brown custard before speaking. It would have been unforgivably rude to interrupt someone while eating.
"Hi."
The blonde's eyes open slowly, revealing blue irises that shade toward purple near the pupil. Her eyes flick up and down, pausing momentarily on Markus napping on my shoulder before sliding closed again.
"Go away."
My smile widens. Her attitude was just like my older sister Soph, the [Calamity of Sloth]. I felt even more confident in my decision than I had a moment ago.
"I'm Ciel, and this is Markus."
The blonde doesn't open her eyes, but the mana animating her [Prestidigitation] unravels.
"Didn't you hear me? I said go away."
I ignore the grumpiness—my sister always sounded just like that when I tried to wake her up to play—and drag a chair over so I can sit down next to her. It would be rude to continue talking to her while standing over her.
"What's your name? I'll need to know it now that we're in a party together."
A single purple and blue eye opens and stares at me with something that might have been annoyance, but I don't let it bother me. Soph always blasted me with [Annihilation] at first, but then she'd join me on a rampage, so I knew this behavior was just for show.
"Are they really letting children into the guildhouse now? What has the guild come to?"
"The receptionist made us fill out some paperwork when I told her that neither Markus nor me had any parents, and then she let us inside."
A sigh that sounds more like a groan emanates from my partner as her feet drop from her second chair to the floor. Both eyes open up this time to stare at me with another one of those looks that my [Calamity] senses can't interpret.
"Look, kid-"
"It's Ciel, or partner if you don't want to use my name."
The blonde's eyes roll toward the ceiling before falling back to me, and an expression I recognize well flickers across her face—exasperation.
"Kid-"
"It's Ciel."
I hope I don't have to remind her too many more times about my name. Not that it mattered if she had trouble with names—my infallible memory could cover us if this weakness ever came up—but a sidekick who couldn't remember their [Hero]'s name would be kind of weird.
"Kid-"
"Ciel."
"Ugh. Fine. Ciel. I'm not looking for a partner. Especially one who isn't even officially an adventurer."
As she says that, she raises her left arm, where a bronze bracelet is loosely attached. A frown crosses my face. E-ranks were supposed to be helping put out a fire started by careless mercenaries.
"Shouldn't you be out fighting fires?"
"I had to finish my dessert first."
The blonde points to her half-empty cup of brown custard. My frown vanishes as I nod. That was a good reason. It was important to eat your food, even when it was one of those disgusting dinners my last overlord liked to serve.
"So when I officially become an adventurer, you'll accept that you're my partner?"
She would one way or another—I could be persistent when I wanted to be—but that seemed the easiest way.
The blonde's eyes narrow for a moment before widening back up. A smirk slowly unfolds across her face. "Sure, if Alis judges you to be E-rank, then I'll be your partner."
"Great," I smile happily. While I had no idea what sort of tests Alis would conduct, I was confident I could make E-rank. That just left the question of what to do while we waited for the guildmaster to return. Fortunately, I had a brilliant idea.
"While we're waiting for her to come back, we should get to know each other."
"Nope."
"Why not? Adventurers should know things about their partners."
The blonde kicks her feet back up in her chair and slumps back down. A moment later, a shaping of mana forms and wraps around the spoon sitting in her dessert. I watch as the blonde closes her eyes and then opens her mouth as her spoon approaches it.
Well, if she didn't want to share anything about herself, I could start. I was the soon-to-be [Hero] after all. It was much more important that my sidekicks knew about me than the reverse.
I would have to heavily edit my history so I didn't share too much too soon—after all, me being a [Calamity] was the sort of truth that needed to be revealed late in the second act—but I was a [Calamity] and a genius and a soon-to-be [Hero]. Transforming my story into something that didn't share too much would be easier than swallowing a cow whole. And I knew exactly where to start,
"I met Markus in the forest outside of Reitzland and…"
"You should see how adorable-"
My monologue of how cute Markus looks when he gets himself tangled up in my scarf is cut off by the door to the guildhouse slamming open and dozens of soot-stained faces piling in.
Almost simultaneous to that, my partner perks up from where she'd been lounging and sighs out, "Dead Gods, finally-"
I miss the rest of whatever she would have said as my head whips around to scan the common area. Unfortunately, I don't see any of the delicious essence that I'd devoured from the [Well of Urdr]. I do, however, see a tired face that I remember releasing her 'Ultimate Attack' and how wonderfully ticklish it had been.
That was Alis, the Guildmaster. She looked a lot weaker than I remember leaning on her sword like that as she walked through the common room. I wonder what could have happened to her for a moment before my genius mind points out the obvious: someone must have taken advantage of her recovery to settle a grudge.
A frown crosses my face—that wasn't proper [Hero] or villain behavior—and I make a note for my immaculate memory to remind me to investigate further when I had the chance. But not now. I had an interview to ace and a bronze bracelet to get.
I hop up from my chair and turn toward my partner, who seems relieved for some odd reason. "I've got to go pass my interview. Don't go anywhere."
My partner gives me an idle wave with her hand to show she acknowledged the command, and I turn to scoop Markus up from the pile of scarf that he'd been napping on. He glares sleepily at me but relaxes when I place him on his perch and point out the guildmaster limping through a door off to the side. After all, I wasn't the only one who wanted to become an adventurer today.
"Bye, partner who still won't tell me her name." I wave goodbye to my partner, not waiting for a response before chasing after the guildmaster.
If I were a normal person's size, snaking my way through the suddenly noisy and crowded common area would have been difficult. I would have had to squeeze through conversations and past men and women in soot-stained clothes and armor shouting at my former guide for drinks. Fortunately, my smaller form was much smaller than these muscly men and women, so I could slip past the crowd without much trouble.
I still had some difficulty getting by a man with a huge belly, but a quick punch to his stomach opened up some space. The fight that erupted after he turned and swung at another adventurer opened up even more.
I pause as I slip through the same door the guildmaster had exited through and into a long hallway with a set of stairs at the far end and three doors on my right. A frown crosses my face—she could have gone through any of them—only to lighten as I realize that this was most certainly the first part of my adventurer's test.
After all, adventurers didn't just kill monsters and die miserably trying to challenge [Calamities]. They also explored dungeons and long-lost ruins—dungeons which were full of traps and weird rules about how to behave or how long you could stay or whatever.
Thinking about it like that, this hallway was clearly my first test of being an adventurer. I would have to have to figure out where she was without triggering the traps and spells that waited behind the wrong doors because that would undoubtedly lower my score. And I needed to do well enough to earn a bronze bracelet. My unnamed partner was relying on me to get that far. I couldn't disappoint her.
Fortunately, I had an advantage over any of the regular people who had ever tried to pass this part of the test: my [Calamity] senses. With a thought, I filtered out the sounds of the melee unfolding in the common area, and then I focused on the sound of something-
*Tap*
*Tap*
There it was. The sound of the guildmaster using her sword as a cane as she limped across a room on the second floor.
I grin and follow my ears up the stairs and toward my interview.
The door slams back on its hinges as I shove it open and quickly cover up a wince with a smile. I couldn't let the guildmaster know that I had such poor control over my strength that I would lose it every time I got a bit excited.
A tanned face ringed by falls of blonde hair so pale that it almost looked silver looks up. A silvery eyebrow twitches slightly, and the guildmaster slips whatever paper she'd been reading into a drawer on her desk. Dark green eyes narrow as she stares at me, but she doesn't say anything or beckon me inside at all.
I was almost confused by the lack of welcome, but instead, my genius mind pokes at me, and I realized this was another test. What kind, though, wasn't clear to me. Maybe it was a test of manners? With the way she was starting to glare at me, I didn't think that was right, but since I didn't even know there would be a test, I was clearly the wrong [Calamity] to ask. Still, since I didn't have a better idea, I decided to put on my best smile and raise my hand in a cheerful wave.
"I'm Ciel, and this is Markus." I gestured to Markus, who was hiding behind my hair and shivering softly. "We're here for our adventurer test."
"Leah did say we had a new applicant."
The guildmaster's glare relaxes into a stare—a clear sign that I'd passed this test. She rubs her forehead and mutters something that sounds like, 'At least this'll be better than writing up another damned report.'
With a grunt, she stands, her left hand grasping out for the hilt of her cane, and smiles tiredly. "I'm Alis, master of Dynegard's branch of the Adventurer's Guild."
I nod but don't tell her that we've already met. That was one of my [Calamity] secrets, after all. Plus, I didn't think she'd recognize me in this form anyway.
Instead, I respond with, "Dynegard's my favorite continent. It's got mountains and forests and rivers."
"Heh, that it does, Ciel. Follow me, and we'll get you sorted into my guild in a minute." My smile widens when she uses my name, and I step behind her as she leads us back down to the first floor.
She pauses in front of the door to the common area to look in and shout, "If you all don't sit down and shut the fuck up in five seconds, you won't live to regret it."
I peek in under her shoulder as the melee within stops mid-swing. An instant later, overturned chairs and tables are set right-side up. A moment later than that, everyone is seated with their hands placed firmly in their laps. My former guide looks over at us with a relieved smile.
I wave at her and then poke my head a bit further in to wave at my lounging partner. She doesn't even lift her head from her chair, but that didn't bother me. I was just happy to see she'd stayed out of the melee. Adventuring parties were supposed to share everything, and it would have been quite rude for her to join in a fight like that without me.
"Let's go," The guildmaster puts a hand on my shoulder and directs me down the hallway. "My adventurers are good people, but they're also idiots, so you have to treat them like that every once in a while to remind them."
I nodded. My eldest sister said the same thing about her lackeys.
I wait as the guildmaster opens a door that reveals a wood-covered room lined on all four sides by racks of weapons. She steps in, and I follow behind her until we stop at the dead center of the room.
"I'll test you first, Ciel, if that's ok with you and Markus."
She raises a pale eyebrow in question, and I turn toward Markus. He chirps softly and hops down from my shoulder.
I unwind my new scarf from my neck and drape it over him, grinning happily as he swims through the fabric before his furry little head pops free. He gently grabs it between his teeth and scampers over to a corner of the room. Once I see that he's comfortably ensconced in his scarf-fort, I turn back to the guildmaster and smile.
"Ok, we're ready."
"Good." She nods before pulling a small silver ring topped by a perfectly round red gemstone out of her pocket. "Your paperwork said you didn't have a class, but do you mind if I use this to cast a quick [Appraise] and double-check?"
"Nope." I shake my head, thankful I'd decided to seal away my [Calamity] powers. This might have gotten awkward otherwise.
"Hmm… no class, but you've got [Enhanced Strength], [Thick Skin], and [Superior Hearing]." She pauses to remove her ring and tucks it away in a pocket. "That's quite an impressive spread of skills for a beginner. Make sure you don't rely on them too heavily, though. I've seen far too many adventurers die because they relied on their Skills rather than their skills."
I nod my agreement. That made sense to me. Even with all my [Calamity] skills, I'd nearly died trying to consume the [Well of Urdr].
"Good. I'd hate to see you leave your friend Markus behind because you bit off more than you could chew."
While eating had never been a problem for me, I nodded again. After all, she was my guildmaster now, and it was important to listen when she spoke.
"Ok, that's my lecture out of the way. Now, how about you pick out a weapon, then we'll see about getting you your first class."
She smiles softly as she sees a frown cross my face. "Don't worry too much about it, Ciel. You'll have plenty of time to change, consolidate, or evolve your class as you get more experienced. The most important thing at this point is to pick something that resonates with you."
I knew I wanted to be a fighter, a specific kind of fighter called a tank—named after the sound an arrow made when it bounced uselessly off a brick wall—because I wanted to stand at the front of a party and soak up damage. Other than that, I wasn't sure exactly which kind of tank I wanted to be. So, knowing that I wouldn't be stuck with a class I later found out I didn't want was a relief.
Still, my guildmaster had told me to pick up a weapon I resonated with, and a bunch of weapons lined the walls that matched my goal of becoming a tank. All I had to do was pick one.
[] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
[] With axe in hand, I would walk the path of the [Berserker]. I would drive my enemies before me through the force of my rage, and as I grew stronger, my skin would become like adamant.
[] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.
Once I had picked my weapon and returned to the middle of the sparring room, the guildmaster looks me up and down and nods in satisfaction.
"A good choice. Now, raise your weapon and repeat after me."
I raise my weapon high, not even noticing the weight of it as I repeat the words the guildmaster
"I, Ciel, do solemnly swear to protect the weak, challenge the wicked, and explore the unknown with unwavering resolve. May my blade be ever sharp, my wits sharper, and my bonds unbreakable as I venture forth into the realm. By this oath, I am bound, united in purpose and spirit with all who share this glorious purpose."
As my words resonate through the training room, the guildmaster raises her sheathed cane and bops me lightly on my head.
[Fighter Class Obtained!]
[Fighter Level 1!]
[Skill - Basic Weapon Proficiency Gained]
After I received my new class, I spent a few minutes sparring with the guildmaster. I think I did well enough. I managed to knock away a few of her attacks and scramble out of the way of a few more before she finally managed to land a blow against my stomach.
After that quick spar, though, it was Markus's turn.
"Markus, is it?" The guildmaster puts her ring on once again and looks down at my furry friend with the same seriousness that she'd looked at me—and jumps up my list of favorite people to the same rank as the [Soulbound Chef] that had fed me so much delicious food. "I don't think you have the build for a fighter, but given your size, you might make quite the [Rogue]."
"Chirp."
"Indeed. Traps kill as many adventurers as monsters do."
"Do you solemnly swear to…" My mind drifts away from me as the guildmaster repeats the same oath for him as she did for me, but I return to myself in time to see my friend nod his furry head and chirp solemnly.
She bops him on the head just the same as she had me, and I watch as a shiver runs through my friend.
His fur grows darker and sleeker, and his front teeth grow a bit sharper. I'd have to ask him what class he got when I got the chance since I certainly couldn't unseal [Dissection of the Root] and check. Still, he looked happy as he did a jumping twist in front of the guildmaster before scampering back to pick up my scarf.
"Careful with the teeth. You don't want to damage it."
I call out, and Markus turns to me long enough to roll his eyes before snagging the fabric between his teeth and dragging it back to me.
"Sorry."
I apologize as I lean down to pick up the scarf. Markus waits until I've wrapped it around my neck and shoulders before he clambers up my leg and retakes his perch.
"Thanks Guildmaster. We've got to go and tell our new partner the good news."
I turn to her and smile widely before waving. Markus leans up onto his hind legs and waves as well.
"Aren't you two forgetting something?"'
I skid to a stop halfway out the door as my immaculate memory pokes at me. I spin around and see her holding up two bronze bracelets, one sized to fit around my wrist and a much smaller one for Markus.
"Normally, I'd have a bit of a ceremony for two new E-rank adventurers, but it seems you two have plans."
I race back to the guildmaster and hold out my arm, fidgeting impatiently as she wraps a bracelet around my wrist. As the latch clasps closed, I hold my wrist up to my face and stare at the bronze links wrapping around my wrist.
The guildmaster says something like, 'It's spelled to be a bit stronger than normal bronze, but it won't stop a sword strike, and it will tarnish.' and follows it up with what sounds like, 'I don't think you'll have one long enough for that to matter,' but my attention is far away.
I was an adventurer. Not only that, I'd skipped F-rank entirely. With this bracelet, the first step in my plan to become a [Hero] was complete, and waiting outside was a fellow adventurer who would help me finish my second step.
Happiness bubbles up in me and spreads across my face in a way I couldn't control, even if I had wanted to. I look up at the guildmaster and see her smiling fondly down at me. My grin stretches so wide it would have hurt if I hadn't been made from pure Wyrd.
"Thank you, guildmaster!" I shout the words as I bring my braceleted wrist down so I can cradle the bronze links with my other hand. "You won't regret this."
"I'm certain I won't, for either of you." Her smile takes in both of us, and she bumps up the list of my favorite people again until she lands in a tie with the nice old woman who gave me my new scarf. "Now, why don't you go show off to your friends and give me some time to rest."
"Ok." I beam at her and practically sprint out of the room, pausing just long enough to shout my thanks over my shoulder. I had a new party member to find.
"Do you think she got tired and went home?" I ask Markus as I stare at the vacant chairs that had once been occupied by my now-gone teammate.
"Chirp."
"You're right, I guess it is kind of late." I look around the common area, taking in how many adventurers had left after the guildmaster had made her annoyance at the noisy melee clear.
"Chirp."
I nod at Markus, "That's not a bad idea. I'm sure she lives close by."
I lean forward and knock my fist against a thick, brightly painted door in what seems to be one of the richest areas of Reitzleand.
With my perfect hearing, it hadn't taken more than a few minutes before I'd keyed into the sound of my teammate's heartbeat. I recognized it because it had this weird staccato hitch every third beat. And once I'd heard that tracking her down to here hadn't taken more than half an hour.
After a minute of listening to my teammate's unmoving heartbeat, I knock again.
And then again.
And then again.
Finally, after maybe half an hour of knocking, the door opens, and a pair of blue-fading-to-purple eyes still gummed over by sleep glare at me.
"Look. E-rank." I raise my wrist to show off my bracelet, and a beat later, Markus raises his as well.
For a long minute, my teammate is utterly silent as she stares at Markus and me. I wait patiently, holding up my arm and smiling. The door slams in my face.
I raise my hand to knock again, but before my fist hits the door, it opens again. My partner sighs, and her head falls to her chest. "I'm El."
I watch as she walks away from the door into her spacious, well-decorated townhouse and back up a flight of stairs.
I turn to Markus at the same time he turns to me, "I think that was an invitation?"
"Chirp."
I smile at the agreement and walk into my teammate's house.
[AN]
Minor editorial note. Ciel's origin has been changed from the Fae Realms to the Far Planes for a better thematic fit.
They would be the one who would stick with me through thick and thin. They would be there to provide a distraction while I heroically charge in to kill an evil dragon. They would be there to gallantly sacrifice themselves so that I could thwart an overlord's wicked plot to destroy the world. Yes, my first companion was critically important because regardless of the [Hero] quest I inevitably found, they would be there to provide fun and support.
A chirp whispers in my ear. I turn to Markus and smile. "Just thinking about something."
He chirps again before flopping back to my shoulder—what a lazy little guy. I really would have to make sure he got some exercise, or he would end up being the chubby, comic-relief companion. And neither fuzzy-Markus nor real-Markus deserved that.
Still, he was right about one thing. I shouldn't be standing in the middle of the common room staring at my future companions as they did whatever it was they did. I needed to make a choice. And so, in the time-honored tradition of [Calamities] everywhere, I closed my eyes and held out my index finger.
"Eeny meeny miny moe."
I go through the rhyme three times just to be sure before opening my eyes.
A smile crosses my face as I see my new partner eating some kind of creamy dessert from a spoon animated by [Prestidigitation]. While casting a tier 0 spell wasn't that hard, using it to eat with your eyes closed was an impressive feat for someone her age.
Or maybe it wasn't. Since I was made from raw magic, I was hardly the best judge. Still, I had opened myself to Fate to choose my first companion, and Fate had led me to her, so she was clearly the right choice.
I walk quickly over to her table but wait until her spoon is firmly settled in a dark brown custard before speaking. It would have been unforgivably rude to interrupt someone while eating.
"Hi."
The blonde's eyes open slowly, revealing blue irises that shade toward purple near the pupil. Her eyes flick up and down, pausing momentarily on Markus napping on my shoulder before sliding closed again.
"Go away."
My smile widens. Her attitude was just like my older sister Soph, the [Calamity of Sloth]. I felt even more confident in my decision than I had a moment ago.
"I'm Ciel, and this is Markus."
The blonde doesn't open her eyes, but the mana animating her [Prestidigitation] unravels.
"Didn't you hear me? I said go away."
I ignore the grumpiness—my sister always sounded just like that when I tried to wake her up to play—and drag a chair over so I can sit down next to her. It would be rude to continue talking to her while standing over her.
"What's your name? I'll need to know it now that we're in a party together."
A single purple and blue eye opens and stares at me with something that might have been annoyance, but I don't let it bother me. Soph always blasted me with [Annihilation] at first, but then she'd join me on a rampage, so I knew this behavior was just for show.
"Are they really letting children into the guildhouse now? What has the guild come to?"
"The receptionist made us fill out some paperwork when I told her that neither Markus nor me had any parents, and then she let us inside."
A sigh that sounds more like a groan emanates from my partner as her feet drop from her second chair to the floor. Both eyes open up this time to stare at me with another one of those looks that my [Calamity] senses can't interpret.
"Look, kid-"
"It's Ciel, or partner if you don't want to use my name."
The blonde's eyes roll toward the ceiling before falling back to me, and an expression I recognize well flickers across her face—exasperation.
"Kid-"
"It's Ciel."
I hope I don't have to remind her too many more times about my name. Not that it mattered if she had trouble with names—my infallible memory could cover us if this weakness ever came up—but a sidekick who couldn't remember their [Hero]'s name would be kind of weird.
"Kid-"
"Ciel."
"Ugh. Fine. Ciel. I'm not looking for a partner. Especially one who isn't even officially an adventurer."
As she says that, she raises her left arm, where a bronze bracelet is loosely attached. A frown crosses my face. E-ranks were supposed to be helping put out a fire started by careless mercenaries.
"Shouldn't you be out fighting fires?"
"I had to finish my dessert first."
The blonde points to her half-empty cup of brown custard. My frown vanishes as I nod. That was a good reason. It was important to eat your food, even when it was one of those disgusting dinners my last overlord liked to serve.
"So when I officially become an adventurer, you'll accept that you're my partner?"
She would one way or another—I could be persistent when I wanted to be—but that seemed the easiest way.
The blonde's eyes narrow for a moment before widening back up. A smirk slowly unfolds across her face. "Sure, if Alis judges you to be E-rank, then I'll be your partner."
"Great," I smile happily. While I had no idea what sort of tests Alis would conduct, I was confident I could make E-rank. That just left the question of what to do while we waited for the guildmaster to return. Fortunately, I had a brilliant idea.
"While we're waiting for her to come back, we should get to know each other."
"Nope."
"Why not? Adventurers should know things about their partners."
The blonde kicks her feet back up in her chair and slumps back down. A moment later, a shaping of mana forms and wraps around the spoon sitting in her dessert. I watch as the blonde closes her eyes and then opens her mouth as her spoon approaches it.
Well, if she didn't want to share anything about herself, I could start. I was the soon-to-be [Hero] after all. It was much more important that my sidekicks knew about me than the reverse.
I would have to heavily edit my history so I didn't share too much too soon—after all, me being a [Calamity] was the sort of truth that needed to be revealed late in the second act—but I was a [Calamity] and a genius and a soon-to-be [Hero]. Transforming my story into something that didn't share too much would be easier than swallowing a cow whole. And I knew exactly where to start,
"I met Markus in the forest outside of Reitzland and…"
"You should see how adorable-"
My monologue of how cute Markus looks when he gets himself tangled up in my scarf is cut off by the door to the guildhouse slamming open and dozens of soot-stained faces piling in.
Almost simultaneous to that, my partner perks up from where she'd been lounging and sighs out, "Dead Gods, finally-"
I miss the rest of whatever she would have said as my head whips around to scan the common area. Unfortunately, I don't see any of the delicious essence that I'd devoured from the [Well of Urdr]. I do, however, see a tired face that I remember releasing her 'Ultimate Attack' and how wonderfully ticklish it had been.
That was Alis, the Guildmaster. She looked a lot weaker than I remember leaning on her sword like that as she walked through the common room. I wonder what could have happened to her for a moment before my genius mind points out the obvious: someone must have taken advantage of her recovery to settle a grudge.
A frown crosses my face—that wasn't proper [Hero] or villain behavior—and I make a note for my immaculate memory to remind me to investigate further when I had the chance. But not now. I had an interview to ace and a bronze bracelet to get.
I hop up from my chair and turn toward my partner, who seems relieved for some odd reason. "I've got to go pass my interview. Don't go anywhere."
My partner gives me an idle wave with her hand to show she acknowledged the command, and I turn to scoop Markus up from the pile of scarf that he'd been napping on. He glares sleepily at me but relaxes when I place him on his perch and point out the guildmaster limping through a door off to the side. After all, I wasn't the only one who wanted to become an adventurer today.
"Bye, partner who still won't tell me her name." I wave goodbye to my partner, not waiting for a response before chasing after the guildmaster.
If I were a normal person's size, snaking my way through the suddenly noisy and crowded common area would have been difficult. I would have had to squeeze through conversations and past men and women in soot-stained clothes and armor shouting at my former guide for drinks. Fortunately, my smaller form was much smaller than these muscly men and women, so I could slip past the crowd without much trouble.
I still had some difficulty getting by a man with a huge belly, but a quick punch to his stomach opened up some space. The fight that erupted after he turned and swung at another adventurer opened up even more.
I pause as I slip through the same door the guildmaster had exited through and into a long hallway with a set of stairs at the far end and three doors on my right. A frown crosses my face—she could have gone through any of them—only to lighten as I realize that this was most certainly the first part of my adventurer's test.
After all, adventurers didn't just kill monsters and die miserably trying to challenge [Calamities]. They also explored dungeons and long-lost ruins—dungeons which were full of traps and weird rules about how to behave or how long you could stay or whatever.
Thinking about it like that, this hallway was clearly my first test of being an adventurer. I would have to have to figure out where she was without triggering the traps and spells that waited behind the wrong doors because that would undoubtedly lower my score. And I needed to do well enough to earn a bronze bracelet. My unnamed partner was relying on me to get that far. I couldn't disappoint her.
Fortunately, I had an advantage over any of the regular people who had ever tried to pass this part of the test: my [Calamity] senses. With a thought, I filtered out the sounds of the melee unfolding in the common area, and then I focused on the sound of something-
*Tap*
*Tap*
There it was. The sound of the guildmaster using her sword as a cane as she limped across a room on the second floor.
I grin and follow my ears up the stairs and toward my interview.
The door slams back on its hinges as I shove it open and quickly cover up a wince with a smile. I couldn't let the guildmaster know that I had such poor control over my strength that I would lose it every time I got a bit excited.
A tanned face ringed by falls of blonde hair so pale that it almost looked silver looks up. A silvery eyebrow twitches slightly, and the guildmaster slips whatever paper she'd been reading into a drawer on her desk. Dark green eyes narrow as she stares at me, but she doesn't say anything or beckon me inside at all.
I was almost confused by the lack of welcome, but instead, my genius mind pokes at me, and I realized this was another test. What kind, though, wasn't clear to me. Maybe it was a test of manners? With the way she was starting to glare at me, I didn't think that was right, but since I didn't even know there would be a test, I was clearly the wrong [Calamity] to ask. Still, since I didn't have a better idea, I decided to put on my best smile and raise my hand in a cheerful wave.
"I'm Ciel, and this is Markus." I gestured to Markus, who was hiding behind my hair and shivering softly. "We're here for our adventurer test."
"Leah did say we had a new applicant."
The guildmaster's glare relaxes into a stare—a clear sign that I'd passed this test. She rubs her forehead and mutters something that sounds like, 'At least this'll be better than writing up another damned report.'
With a grunt, she stands, her left hand grasping out for the hilt of her cane, and smiles tiredly. "I'm Alis, master of Dynegard's branch of the Adventurer's Guild."
I nod but don't tell her that we've already met. That was one of my [Calamity] secrets, after all. Plus, I didn't think she'd recognize me in this form anyway.
Instead, I respond with, "Dynegard's my favorite continent. It's got mountains and forests and rivers."
"Heh, that it does, Ciel. Follow me, and we'll get you sorted into my guild in a minute." My smile widens when she uses my name, and I step behind her as she leads us back down to the first floor.
She pauses in front of the door to the common area to look in and shout, "If you all don't sit down and shut the fuck up in five seconds, you won't live to regret it."
I peek in under her shoulder as the melee within stops mid-swing. An instant later, overturned chairs and tables are set right-side up. A moment later than that, everyone is seated with their hands placed firmly in their laps. My former guide looks over at us with a relieved smile.
I wave at her and then poke my head a bit further in to wave at my lounging partner. She doesn't even lift her head from her chair, but that didn't bother me. I was just happy to see she'd stayed out of the melee. Adventuring parties were supposed to share everything, and it would have been quite rude for her to join in a fight like that without me.
"Let's go," The guildmaster puts a hand on my shoulder and directs me down the hallway. "My adventurers are good people, but they're also idiots, so you have to treat them like that every once in a while to remind them."
I nodded. My eldest sister said the same thing about her lackeys.
I wait as the guildmaster opens a door that reveals a wood-covered room lined on all four sides by racks of weapons. She steps in, and I follow behind her until we stop at the dead center of the room.
"I'll test you first, Ciel, if that's ok with you and Markus."
She raises a pale eyebrow in question, and I turn toward Markus. He chirps softly and hops down from my shoulder.
I unwind my new scarf from my neck and drape it over him, grinning happily as he swims through the fabric before his furry little head pops free. He gently grabs it between his teeth and scampers over to a corner of the room. Once I see that he's comfortably ensconced in his scarf-fort, I turn back to the guildmaster and smile.
"Ok, we're ready."
"Good." She nods before pulling a small silver ring topped by a perfectly round red gemstone out of her pocket. "Your paperwork said you didn't have a class, but do you mind if I use this to cast a quick [Appraise] and double-check?"
"Nope." I shake my head, thankful I'd decided to seal away my [Calamity] powers. This might have gotten awkward otherwise.
"Hmm… no class, but you've got [Enhanced Strength], [Thick Skin], and [Superior Hearing]." She pauses to remove her ring and tucks it away in a pocket. "That's quite an impressive spread of skills for a beginner. Make sure you don't rely on them too heavily, though. I've seen far too many adventurers die because they relied on their Skills rather than their skills."
I nod my agreement. That made sense to me. Even with all my [Calamity] skills, I'd nearly died trying to consume the [Well of Urdr].
"Good. I'd hate to see you leave your friend Markus behind because you bit off more than you could chew."
While eating had never been a problem for me, I nodded again. After all, she was my guildmaster now, and it was important to listen when she spoke.
"Ok, that's my lecture out of the way. Now, how about you pick out a weapon, then we'll see about getting you your first class."
She smiles softly as she sees a frown cross my face. "Don't worry too much about it, Ciel. You'll have plenty of time to change, consolidate, or evolve your class as you get more experienced. The most important thing at this point is to pick something that resonates with you."
I knew I wanted to be a fighter, a specific kind of fighter called a tank—named after the sound an arrow made when it bounced uselessly off a brick wall—because I wanted to stand at the front of a party and soak up damage. Other than that, I wasn't sure exactly which kind of tank I wanted to be. So, knowing that I wouldn't be stuck with a class I later found out I didn't want was a relief.
Still, my guildmaster had told me to pick up a weapon I resonated with, and a bunch of weapons lined the walls that matched my goal of becoming a tank. All I had to do was pick one.
[] With sword and shield, I would walk the path of the [Paladin]. I would be a steel wall to guard my party members, and as I grew stronger, I would tap into light magic to heal the wounded.
[] With axe in hand, I would walk the path of the [Berserker]. I would drive my enemies before me through the force of my rage, and as I grew stronger, my skin would become like adamant.
[] With greatsword bared, I would walk the path of the [Blademaster]. I would use skill and speed to vanquish my foes, and as I grew stronger, I would learn to dance between raindrops.
Once I had picked my weapon and returned to the middle of the sparring room, the guildmaster looks me up and down and nods in satisfaction.
"A good choice. Now, raise your weapon and repeat after me."
I raise my weapon high, not even noticing the weight of it as I repeat the words the guildmaster
"I, Ciel, do solemnly swear to protect the weak, challenge the wicked, and explore the unknown with unwavering resolve. May my blade be ever sharp, my wits sharper, and my bonds unbreakable as I venture forth into the realm. By this oath, I am bound, united in purpose and spirit with all who share this glorious purpose."
As my words resonate through the training room, the guildmaster raises her sheathed cane and bops me lightly on my head.
[Fighter Class Obtained!]
[Fighter Level 1!]
[Skill - Basic Weapon Proficiency Gained]
After I received my new class, I spent a few minutes sparring with the guildmaster. I think I did well enough. I managed to knock away a few of her attacks and scramble out of the way of a few more before she finally managed to land a blow against my stomach.
After that quick spar, though, it was Markus's turn.
"Markus, is it?" The guildmaster puts her ring on once again and looks down at my furry friend with the same seriousness that she'd looked at me—and jumps up my list of favorite people to the same rank as the [Soulbound Chef] that had fed me so much delicious food. "I don't think you have the build for a fighter, but given your size, you might make quite the [Rogue]."
"Chirp."
"Indeed. Traps kill as many adventurers as monsters do."
"Do you solemnly swear to…" My mind drifts away from me as the guildmaster repeats the same oath for him as she did for me, but I return to myself in time to see my friend nod his furry head and chirp solemnly.
She bops him on the head just the same as she had me, and I watch as a shiver runs through my friend.
His fur grows darker and sleeker, and his front teeth grow a bit sharper. I'd have to ask him what class he got when I got the chance since I certainly couldn't unseal [Dissection of the Root] and check. Still, he looked happy as he did a jumping twist in front of the guildmaster before scampering back to pick up my scarf.
"Careful with the teeth. You don't want to damage it."
I call out, and Markus turns to me long enough to roll his eyes before snagging the fabric between his teeth and dragging it back to me.
"Sorry."
I apologize as I lean down to pick up the scarf. Markus waits until I've wrapped it around my neck and shoulders before he clambers up my leg and retakes his perch.
"Thanks Guildmaster. We've got to go and tell our new partner the good news."
I turn to her and smile widely before waving. Markus leans up onto his hind legs and waves as well.
"Aren't you two forgetting something?"'
I skid to a stop halfway out the door as my immaculate memory pokes at me. I spin around and see her holding up two bronze bracelets, one sized to fit around my wrist and a much smaller one for Markus.
"Normally, I'd have a bit of a ceremony for two new E-rank adventurers, but it seems you two have plans."
I race back to the guildmaster and hold out my arm, fidgeting impatiently as she wraps a bracelet around my wrist. As the latch clasps closed, I hold my wrist up to my face and stare at the bronze links wrapping around my wrist.
The guildmaster says something like, 'It's spelled to be a bit stronger than normal bronze, but it won't stop a sword strike, and it will tarnish.' and follows it up with what sounds like, 'I don't think you'll have one long enough for that to matter,' but my attention is far away.
I was an adventurer. Not only that, I'd skipped F-rank entirely. With this bracelet, the first step in my plan to become a [Hero] was complete, and waiting outside was a fellow adventurer who would help me finish my second step.
Happiness bubbles up in me and spreads across my face in a way I couldn't control, even if I had wanted to. I look up at the guildmaster and see her smiling fondly down at me. My grin stretches so wide it would have hurt if I hadn't been made from pure Wyrd.
"Thank you, guildmaster!" I shout the words as I bring my braceleted wrist down so I can cradle the bronze links with my other hand. "You won't regret this."
"I'm certain I won't, for either of you." Her smile takes in both of us, and she bumps up the list of my favorite people again until she lands in a tie with the nice old woman who gave me my new scarf. "Now, why don't you go show off to your friends and give me some time to rest."
"Ok." I beam at her and practically sprint out of the room, pausing just long enough to shout my thanks over my shoulder. I had a new party member to find.
"Do you think she got tired and went home?" I ask Markus as I stare at the vacant chairs that had once been occupied by my now-gone teammate.
"Chirp."
"You're right, I guess it is kind of late." I look around the common area, taking in how many adventurers had left after the guildmaster had made her annoyance at the noisy melee clear.
"Chirp."
I nod at Markus, "That's not a bad idea. I'm sure she lives close by."
I lean forward and knock my fist against a thick, brightly painted door in what seems to be one of the richest areas of Reitzleand.
With my perfect hearing, it hadn't taken more than a few minutes before I'd keyed into the sound of my teammate's heartbeat. I recognized it because it had this weird staccato hitch every third beat. And once I'd heard that tracking her down to here hadn't taken more than half an hour.
After a minute of listening to my teammate's unmoving heartbeat, I knock again.
And then again.
And then again.
Finally, after maybe half an hour of knocking, the door opens, and a pair of blue-fading-to-purple eyes still gummed over by sleep glare at me.
"Look. E-rank." I raise my wrist to show off my bracelet, and a beat later, Markus raises his as well.
For a long minute, my teammate is utterly silent as she stares at Markus and me. I wait patiently, holding up my arm and smiling. The door slams in my face.
I raise my hand to knock again, but before my fist hits the door, it opens again. My partner sighs, and her head falls to her chest. "I'm El."
I watch as she walks away from the door into her spacious, well-decorated townhouse and back up a flight of stairs.
I turn to Markus at the same time he turns to me, "I think that was an invitation?"
"Chirp."
I smile at the agreement and walk into my teammate's house.
Level 73 [Calamity of Gluttony] - Sealed
Skills - Sealed
Level 1 [Fighter]
Skills:
[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it provides strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents
[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills provides resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.
[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Greater Awareness]. It doubles the effective ability of an individual to hear things but does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]
The ability to wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
Skills - Sealed
Level 1 [Fighter]
Skills:
[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it provides strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents
[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills provides resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.
[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Greater Awareness]. It doubles the effective ability of an individual to hear things but does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]
The ability to wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[AN]
Minor editorial note. Ciel's origin has been changed from the Fae Realms to the Far Planes for a better thematic fit.
In which a Villainess goes on a quest
Markus was snoring and dreaming squirrely dreams inside a scarf-fort he'd made for himself. El had disappeared back upstairs, and if the steady sound of her breathing meant anything, she was asleep, too. Not me, though. I was so excited I wasn't sure whether I would ever go to sleep again.
I wanted to run and jump. I wanted to tell my sisters the great news. I wanted to rampage until everything around me was ash and ruin. But I couldn't do any of that. If I made too much noise, I'd wake El and Markus up. My sisters were busy with their own [Calamity] plots. And I could hardly go on a rampage; I was an adventurer now.
So, instead of doing anything fun, I was looking around my partner's townhouse. Markus—the non-furry one—would have called it snooping because despite being the [Betrayer of Hope], he was big on boring things like etiquette. But he wasn't here to stare judgmentally at my behavior so I could snoop to my heart's content.
I walk into a cozy room with a window that stretches from floor to ceiling and looks out over a small garden kept in full bloom by a line of enchanted script. My eyes light up. Not because of the garden—though some of the plants did look tasty—but because every square inch of the walls are covered in shelf upon shelf of books.
I race over to a lounge chair set up to look out over the garden and pick up the book left open and face down on the cushions. A frown tries to form on my face, because that wasn't the right way to treat a book, but I'm far more interested in my partner's choice of reading materials. What if she liked hero books too? I could hardly wait to find out.
I pick the book up and carefully place a felt bookmark to mark her place before flipping back to the title page. A Brief History of the Decline and Fall of the Empire of Byregot. That didn't seem like a hero story, but maybe it was one of those trick titles that only became clear halfway through the book. I flip through a few pages, skimming past a boring discussion of economic something-or-others and political whatever-you-call-its and proximal causes for something called the-
Eww. I slam the book shut and let it drop so I can wipe the stain of nonfiction off my hands and onto the lounge fabric. Was my new partner a… I couldn't form the word, even in my mind, because it was so insulting, but that did nothing to halt my concern.
Walking over to the nearest shelf, I pull out the first three books: a slim yellow one, a slightly larger red one, and a truly massive book bound by wooden blocks instead of leather. I flip the books open one after another. A Traveler's Guide to Dynegard had some colorful pictures but nothing about heroes. Court Practices in the Nelbian Seas talked too much about different ways to bow. And A Brief Anthology of the [Pontificates] of the Golden Citadel didn't even reference Markus.
Regretfully, I put the books back where I found them, though I have to shove lightly to get the Anthology back into place before looking around the room. There were hundreds of books, maybe even thousands, in the room, so I couldn't say for sure, but my quick check wasn't promising. I sigh; if only I hadn't left my collection in the rubble of my former overlord's castle, I could replace all these boring books with more fun ones tonight.
But since I couldn't, it was time for me to move on. Besides, what kind of [Calamity] would I be if I stayed in a room full of dull books when there was a whole townhouse to explore?
Unfortunately, the rest of the townhouse wasn't even as interesting as the boring book room. There were two more bedrooms, which was good for when Markus and I wanted to stay overnight. There was a room filled with flowery-smelling oils and a [Warm Water] spell bound into a stone depression. There was even a dining room with seats for a dozen people and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A bunch of rooms, all of them boring, until…
A grin splits my face as I recognize the room I've just walked into. I ignored the pots and pans and the block of knives decorating it after a single glance. I'd never learned to cook. Instead, my attention bores into a bounty of food.
A plate with half a roast took pride of place on the kitchen table. Next to it was a pan of something green that had been baked and covered in breadcrumbs. Then, there was a loaf of freshly baked bread sitting in front of shallow saucers of butter and a bright red jam. Finally, and far more deserving of attention than any of the others, was a cake stacked as high as four of my fists piled on top of each other and slathered with cream and bits of shaved chocolate.
I wipe at my mouth to remove any evidence that I was drooling, simultaneously thankful and sad that Markus wasn't there with me. Sad because he wouldn't be able to partake in this feast. Thankful because that meant it was all for me.
Unfortunately for him, I was the [Calamity of Gluttony] for a reason, so I almost instantly set aside those concerns to reach out for the roast. In a single bite, I clean the meat from the bone, and after a moment to revel in the tenderness of the beef combined with the subtle mix of herbs and spices, I chomp down on the bone as well. Cow bone shows that it's no match for [Calamity] teeth, and it shatters with a delightful crunch and lets all that gooey marrow free.
With the roast gone, my eyes flicker to my next dish. I would save the cake for last, but that wouldn't give it more than a moment or two of reprieve, not with how hungry I now was.
I sit back and burp softly as I survey the remnants of my rampage. Half a dozen plates emptied of all but the smallest crumbs and drops of juices. I wasn't a savage that licked plates clean. That [Soulbound Chef] had taught me better.
I sigh in contentment. My belly wasn't full—because of the gluttony part of my class, I never got full—but I was pleasantly not-hungry. In fact, with the slow pulse of food digesting within me, I felt a bit tired. Maybe I would just rest my eyes briefly before finding somewhere else to…
Zzz…
"I wish I could say I was surprised. I do wonder where you put it all, though."
I wake up to my two partners staring at me. El looks exasperated, but true to her words, she doesn't seem at all surprised. Markus, on the other hand, is eyeing me with reproach. It seems pretty obvious that he wanted to have been involved in my feast last night and was upset that I hadn't even bothered to invite him.
I grin easily, well used to these kinds of stares. It was the same kind of look people always gave me when they realized my stomach was a bottomless pit. In my former life, I'd bankrupted more than one overlord until word got around about me. Now that I think about it, I was probably always on the path to being a [Hero]. It just took me a bit longer to get here. Still, since I was well used to exasperation and reproach and more violent emotions in response to my midnight snacking, I knew exactly how to respond.
"Let's go get breakfast!."
A grin crosses my face after my exclamation. Who could stay concerned about a devoured meal when there was a promise of another one right before them? Certainly not me.
El raises a blonde eyebrow, and her kind of purple, kind of blue eyes look me up and down. "I'm going to guess that you're expecting me to pay for that."
"Yep." I nod, happy I had picked a partner with impeccable financial sense. Money had never mattered to me. When I was on my own as a [Calamity], I could just go out and take whatever I wanted. And when I worked for an overlord, some minions and lackeys could do that for me.
"You don't have to sound so happy about it." My partner sighs more to herself than to me, but thanks to my [Superior Hearing], it came across as loud as if she'd said it straight to me. "Fine, let's go get some food. I'll buy you whatever you want-"
"Yay!"
"Within reason."
"Boo!"
I step up to the counter of the same bread store I'd visited yesterday and smile at the pudgy man in an apron.
"Hello, mister. I'm back again. Can I get three of those chocolate bread things, another one of those long sticks of bread, and…"
"Chirp."
"Something with pecans for Markus."
The man looks at me before his eyes drift to my partner. "You with them?"
"Unfortunately."
The man's head tilts at that, seemingly not sure what to make of my partner's humor, before shrugging it away. He looks back down at me and nods. "Well, good for ya, kid, for finding a place to stay. Hard enough being a kid. Let alone one that's got to stay on the street."
I wasn't sure what to make of that, but it hardly mattered when he handed over a piece of wax paper containing mine and Markus's breakfast. I place my fingers on the edge of the paper wrap, intending to tear it open and get to the deliciousness inside, but stop before I can do so. Instead, I turn to my new companion.
"Aren't you going to get anything?" A thread of concern enters my voice. We were going to the adventurer's guild next to pick up a quest. I couldn't have my new partner trying to do adventurer things on an empty stomach. That would be wrong.
"Might as well, I suppose."
I relax as I watch her lean over the display, carefully keeping her long, blonde hair out of the food. She points to a weird-shaped thing covered in a white powder. "How long ago did you fry your beignets?"
"Make the dough the night before and fry them up first thing in the morning." The man replies proudly.
"Then I'll take two of them. I assume it's the same thing for the doughnuts?" The man nods again, and El continues with her order. "And one of the jam-filled doughnuts."
The man hands over a second wax-paper-wrapped treasure and holds out his hand. "That'll be sixteen copper."
"So cheap?" My partner raises an eyebrow.
"Well," the man coughs and then looks at me for some reason. "I try to help out where I can."
That didn't make any sense to me, but it seems my partner understood—and I felt even more confident in leaving the party's finances to her. She pulls a single silver coin from a pouch wrapped tightly around her waist and drops it in the man's hand. "Keep the change."
"I-" The man trails off as he looks at both of us. He shrugs, still seeming like there is something he wants to say, but after a moment, he sighs and puts the coin in a lockbox. "Thank you, ma'am. Come back whenever."
"Bye, mister." I wave to the pudgy man and then turn to my partner. "Let's go eat by the fountain. The one with the fishking."
"That's Orthenal I, the founder of Reitzland. The statue represents the Reitz's bounty and his role in establishing the fisheries that have fed the city to this day." My partner corrects me with some boring bit of history but allows herself to be led toward the center of the intersection where Fishking Orthenal awaits.
"I like it because he's riding a fish." I needed to let her know why I thought it was so cool, or she'd think that I liked boring history stuff as much as she did.
"That's not surprising." I let out a short huff of relief, glad once again that she was so perceptive. I couldn't have made a better pick for my first teammate.
When we reach the lip of the fountain, I flop easily down on the same spot I sat in yesterday. I wait a moment for Markus to hop off, scarf clenched lightly between his teeth, before tearing open our breakfast and shoving a pan au chocolat into my mouth in a single bite. With my cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's, I hand over a braided piece of bread filled with a pecan mash and drizzled with maple syrup to my furry friend.
Markus eats slowly, probably because he hasn't learned to dislocate your jaw to fit larger bites inside—something I would have to teach him how to do someday—but my breakfast is gone in four bites. I decided to take two bites to eat the stick of bread because, if I didn't, it might have raised questions that I wasn't ready to answer. I grin to myself. No one would ever guess just how sneaky I could be.
My enjoyment of my cleverness doesn't last long. Not when I was done with my food and my two companions were still leisurely going through their own. I should have gotten a third chocolate bread. Or maybe a fourth. Or… I turn to look at El, a hopeful look crossing my face as I let my eyes meaningfully shift from her to a beignet sitting uneaten in her lap.
My partner smirks at me and maintains eye contact as she slowly lifts it before taking a huge bite. My face falls, and I take back every good thought I'd ever had about her. She was clearly a [Blackguard] in disguise to take such joy in the suffering of an innocent [Calamity] like me. I look down at Markus, but he's busy washing his paws in the fountain, his breakfast nowhere to be seen. Neither of my companions had saved a single bite for me. How evil.
I refuse to let their betrayal get to me. After all, there was more on my mind than eating—as shocking as my sisters might have found that. I had already completed the first two steps of my plan to become a [Hero], and now I needed to start the third step. My grin takes in my companions sitting on either side of me.
"Let's go pick up a quest from the guild!"
"Hello." I wave happily to the guild receptionist, taking special care so that my E-rank bracelet catches the sunlight from a window. I didn't want her to think Markus and I had failed our tests yesterday.
"Good morning, Ciel and Markus… and is that Edel-"
"It's El, Leah. You know that."
"Is that El I see, awake before noon and deigning to be seen with other adventurers?"
"Tch."
My partner and the receptionist bicker back and forth for a moment before my partner surrenders with a rude gesture and stomps away into the common room.
I make a note for my impeccable memory that my partner had a name she didn't want other people to overhear. That was the kind of secret a princess in disguise kept while desperately seeking allies to help restore her to the throne. While my partner didn't strike me as the desperate type, she did have some princess-y behaviors. Still, I had to let the receptionist know she'd made a mistake.
"You shouldn't use people's secret names like that." I fix her with my best disapproving stare. "They're secret for a reason."
The receptionist opens her mouth as though to respond, only to close it without saying anything. She stares at me for a moment before wilting in the face of my disapproval. "You're not wrong. She just makes it so easy to tease."
"I don't care about that, but secret names are important. What if she was the long-lost daughter of a famous [Archmage] searching for a way to free her mother from [Cycle of Eternity]? You'd be spoiling the whole plot in the first act."
While she was busy being overwhelmed by my genius—and mouthing 'Cycle of Eternity' to herself as though she'd never even heard of the Tier 8 spell before—I decide to shift back to the reason why we'd come in the first place.
"Markus, El, and I need a quest."
"A quest for three E-ranks, hmm…" The receptionist looks over her shoulder at the bulletin board behind her. "Our quests are posted on the board, but if you want my advice-"
"Nope." I turn from the receptionist and race over to the board. How could I call myself an adventurer, let alone a [Hero], if I needed advice on the very first quest my party would take?
My eyes skim along the list of cards nailed to the board. Some looked fun, especially the one to head into the Jhoral Mountains and cull the wyvern flight that had settled there. Unfortunately, it was listed as B-rank. Most of the notices were for quests above our rank, though there was one to find a lost pet that had been flagged as F-rank. I ignored those in favor of snagging a pair of quests marked for E-ranks and racing over to my lounging partner.
"I found two quests! One involves going into the sewer-"
"Not a chance."
A frown crosses my face at that quick dismissal. So many [Hero] stories started with the soon-to-be [Hero] slaying rats in some underground place, but I wasn't going to argue with my companion. My books had hammered home the importance of listening to my party when they wanted something. If I didn't, they'd inevitably betray me and leave me to die somewhere.
"Then how about a trek into the forest to check on some abnormally aggressive wildlife?"
I lay the notice down and wait as she scans it. Eventually, she looks back up at me and sighs, "Sure. How bad could it be?"
"Alright!" My fist pumps in the air with my excitement. "Let's go!"
"Are you sure you're ok on that?" I turn around and look at my partner lounging comfortably on a self-propelled cart.
"Sorry, Ciel." Her face doesn't look sorry at all. It looks quite smug, "there's only space for one up here."
"I didn't want up anyways." I lie. I very much wanted to hop aboard and see just how fast the cart could go, but I couldn't tell my partner that. "I was just wondering how it will handle when we go offroad."
"It's a Tollheim." At my blank stare, she sighs and mutters something that sounds like 'uncultured swine' before continuing. "They're designed to go anywhere a horse can on only twenty to fifty mana stones a day."
"Manastones are crunchy and sparky when I eat them." I smile. Even though they weren't my favorite, the sour taste of raw mana made it a nice, sometimes-treat.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." El turns her stare away from me and to the sky above. "How much farther until we reach our destination."
"I don't know."
I continue walking backward so I can look at my teammate's cart, which means I get a perfect view of the confused scowl that she directs straight at me.
"You don't know?"
"Nope." I shake my head emphatically. I knew we were on a road and that our destination was in a forest, but other than that.
"Did you at least bring a map or-"
"Nope."
"I don't know why I even asked." El doesn't mutter the words as though she were speaking to herself; instead, she looks directly at me. "So you just picked a direction and started walking?"
"Yep." I nod confidently. It was a foolproof plan. One that had never steered me wrong before.
El's eyes darken to purple as she scowls at me. "And what if we're going the wrong way?"
How could we be going in the wrong direction? That didn't even make sense. I was about to tell my annoyed companion as much when my perfect memory pokes me. When I was a [Calamity], I just kind of wandered around looking for fun things to do, and when I was working for an overlord, I mostly used [Hellfire Portal]. I'd never actually tried to find something intentionally like this before.
"Umm…"
"Dead Gods. Ugh. Ciel, you can't just-" This time, I knew she wasn't pointing out a delicious and refreshing snack, so I kept my eyes fixed on my companion firmly enough to see a vein start to throb alongside her temple.
"Chirp."
That's right. We shouldn't be arguing while a bear flanked by two mean-looking wolves slowly sneaks toward us.
"Not now, squirrel."
My face shifts into a frown. That wasn't nice. "His name's Markus."
"He's a squirrel."
While that was true, I didn't go around pointing out that humans were squishy humans. After all, not everyone was lucky enough to be a [Calamity], and they shouldn't be mocked for things they couldn't control.
"He's also a [Rogue] and our companion."
My argument seems to fall on deaf ears as El's scowl deepens, "He's a rodent in a dress shirt."
Now, it was my turn to scowl. If that's how she felt, then maybe I should go on a quick rampage and find another party member later. I'd just have to keep this failed attempt a secret. I decide to let the idea shatter into fractal patterns in my mind, just to check.
But as it reforms, it tells me I should give her another chance. After all, maybe she just wasn't used to furry friends.
"That's not nice-"
"Chirp." Markus interrupts me with a much louder chirp, and I look at the bear and his friends, who are no longer creeping through the forest lining the road but had assembled mere feet behind El's moving cart.
"Exactly." I agreed with my furry friend. "We shouldn't argue in front of the giant bear and his friends."
"What bear?" El shoots up from her lounging pose as her eyes dart through the trees surrounding us.
"The one trying to sneak up on us." Surely, even feeble human noses could make out the smell of blood and violence, right?
"I don't-" Apparently not. It might not have been nice to mock humans for their lack of senses, but I was certainly glad I hadn't been hatched as one.
Still, El was my companion, at least until she insulted Markus again, so it was only right that I pointed out what she couldn't sense. "he's right behind you."
"Holy fuck! How'd a bear-"
On cue, she turns around, only to see the bear rearing up on its hind legs—wow, he was really tall like that—and shouts in a way that sounded more princess-y than adventurer-y. Yet more proof for my hypothesis that she was somebody important in disguise.
"It snuck up while we were arguing. I think it wants your cart." Either that or it wanted to eat her, but I knew I shouldn't say that. I was, after all, a genius.
"I don't care what it wants, Ciel. You're the tank. Get in there and let it maul you."
Sidekicks weren't supposed to tell the [Hero] what to do, but I suppose that since I wasn't actually a [Hero], her order was ok. So I slip my shield from where it sits on my back like a giant turtle shell and wrap it around my right hand. Then I pull my sword free from its sheathe in a smooth motion I'd been practicing all morning and step confidently in front of the bear and his friends.
This would not only be my first fight as a not-[Calamity], but also my first fight in front of my teammates. A good impression was critical. So I slap my shield with the hilt of my sword, letting the grin I feel in my heart form on my face. As the three animals turn toward me with bloodlust in their eyes, I roar.
Unfortunately, my smaller form didn't have the lungs to make a truly impressive roar. That doesn't matter, though, as I take advantage of the momentary confusion to lash out with my sword.
The flat of my blade collides with the skull of one of the bear's friends, and a wolf drops bonelessly to the ground. An instant later, my shield flicks up to block a mouthful of lunging teeth as the other wolf tries to claim vengeance for his fallen partner. I mash my shield forward into his nose before he can leap backward and try again, and his pained howl gives me all the opening I need to bring the pommel of my sword down on his head. He drops as well.
That was two sub-bosses down in two strikes, which I thought was pretty good, but it only seemed to make the bear madder. To be fair, I'd be mad, too, if my sidekicks had been defeated that easily. I didn't have much time to dwell on that before I had to raise my shield to block the swipe of a massive paw.
Unlike with the wolf, my [Enhanced Strength] isn't enough to match the enraged bear, and I'm sent tumbling to the side. I quickly push myself upright, ready for a second attack, but before the bear can bring his paw down in a smash that would knock me flat, I see the glint of Markus's teeth as he flashes behind the bear. I couldn't quite tell where my furry friend had struck, but based on how the bear's roar sounded a bit higher pitched than a roar should, I think I might need to talk with him about inappropriate places to attack.
Still, a distraction was a distraction, so I reluctantly moved forward to boop the bear on his head too, only to stop at a shout of '[Firebolt].' I dodge backward, an arrow of fire searing the air inches in front of my face as it streaks toward a furry flank. The spell hits with a dull boom—kind of like a book slamming closed in a quiet room—and fire washes over the bear's side.
He roars, enraged and on fire, and I grin. This was much more like it. A flaming bear was absolutely a worthy opponent.
I bash a paw strike with my shield, angling it just right so the force deflects at an angle rather than straight on. Even so, I stagger at the strength behind it, and that puts me off balance enough that I don't have time to avoid the second paw as it slams into my chest. Bear claws shred through my [Thick Skin] as though it were paper, even as the force of the blow sends me flying.
The sky and road flip upside down and back up several times before I land with a crack against an inconveniently placed tree. I let out a quiet 'oof' and feel tree bark sliding against my back until my rear end lands on a web of bony roots.
My head spins, or maybe the world spins around me. I couldn't tell. And maybe I would have just found a nice place to rest for a bit if not for a shrill voice shouting my name. Oh, right. I had teammates who would probably be eaten if I took a nap. What kind of [Hero] would I be if I let that happen?
A shake of my head clears the gray fog around my eyes and gives me just enough awareness to interpret the drumbeat echoing in my ears as the frenzied pounding of massive paws against packed dirt. I look up, and sure enough, a bear's maw, opened wider than I was tall, is snapping toward me. I wasn't about to be a snack—I ate bears, not the other way around—and just as it gets close enough that I could feel its hot, stinky breath on my face, I tuck myself into a ball and roll to the side. The teeth of the fire-bear slam shut with a loud crash, but they only taste air.
My rolling dodge moves me past his teeth and front paws, and I grin as I have a free shot at him. My sword flicks out and bites deeply into his back paw. I filter out the sound of an enraged roar that might have damaged my ears if I were human and scamper through the space my strike had opened between his front and rear paws.
I roll to my feet and set into the stance my guildmaster had shown me, but before the bear can turn to bite at me again, a [Firebolt] sears through the air and catches the bear on his snout. I grin. Now, that was teamwork. My grin widens as I see a flash of Markus's teeth—thankfully, this time, he targeted the same paw I'd cut at earlier—before he hops away to the sound of a pained roar.
This was great. We were fighting as a perfectly in-sync unit. Markus and El were peppering the bear with fire and dagger-like bites while I kept his attention on trying to maul me. Just like a tank should.
Even better than the glory of our teamwork was the feel of blood trickling down my chest and my face. Rampaging was fun, but since nothing had ever managed to hurt me, it was a bit boring, but this. This…
I roar again and dash toward the bear. This was everything I had ever wanted.
My shield deflects a paw strike while my sword flicks out and scores a pair of shallow gashes in his chest. I roll between the bear's legs at a shout of 'Ciel! Duck!' and a third [Firebolt] explodes against the mess of matted fur and blood I'd left of the bear's torso.
Before the bear can change his mind and target my companion, I jump back in, sliding my blade along the back of its knee in a quick, sawing motion. I hear more than feel the tendon snap, and my grin stretches as far as my smaller form will allow it as the bear sways clumsily as it tries to lash out at me with his paws.
Unfortunately, my enjoyment is short-lived. With only three paws left and my team working together better than a centuries-old overlord and their most trusted flunkies, the bear falls to defeat quickly. Looking down at the bear's corpse and its many cuts and burns, I almost feel bad for it.
Almost. Because even a [Calamity] knew sometimes food fought back, and there was no one to blame but yourself if you got killed by your snack. Not that anything could truly kill a [Calamity], of course, but the principal remained.
"Fuck! That was- Oh, shit! Ciel!" My partner scrambles down from her cart and rushes over to me. " Are you alright?"
Something in my chest starts to bubble like I'd just eaten a ten-course feast, and a different kind of grin crosses my face—how strange. "I'm ok."
"I saw you get swatted aside." El scowls, but it doesn't look angry at all. It looks scared. I wonder why. "Sit. I've got a potion or two. We'll get you good as new."
"I'm fine." My grin grows wider even as my legs give out, and I fall back on my rear.
"Ciel!" The shout of my name echoes strangely in my ears, as though it was coming from very far away. I hear more words like, 'Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea,' and 'I won't let you die on me, you gluttonous little shit.'
My lips twist in a smirk as those words filter through the haze darkening my thoughts and eyesight. I wasn't a little gluttony. I was the [Calamity of Gluttony] herself. I open my mouth to tell her that, only to find the darkness rushing up to overwhelm me.
[Fighter Level 2!]
[Gained Basic Shield Proficiency]
Ooh, Neat…
"Back with us, huh?"
I open my eyes and stare up at my partner's relieved face. "What happened?"
"Unconsciousness brought on by exsanguination." El must have read the confusion on my face because she offers a lopsided smirk. "Bloodloss. You passed out after losing too much blood."
That didn't sound good, but since I was awake now, it probably was just one of those things that sounded worse than it was. I squirm slightly as I feel my hip digging into something flat and hard. My partner drops a thin, beige pillow on my head.
"Careful sitting up. Your little guy's been refusing to move."
I manage to wedge the pillow into place before looking down at the weight I now realize was sitting on my chest. Markus was staring up at me with a remonstrative look on his face. I only recognized it because it was the same look my sisters gave me when I tried something new and fun. Fortunately, I also knew what to say whenever anyone looked at me like that.
"Sorry, Markus. I'll try better next time."
My friend keeps up the stare for a moment longer before nodding firmly, and I breathe out a sigh of relief.
My head falls back onto a pillow, and I look up at the sky only to realize many more trees are overhead than before I'd been de-blooded. "Where are we?"
Somewhat to my surprise, El fidgets and looks away before responding. "While you were out cold, the sq- Markus and I thought it best to take shelter away from our battle site."
Since neither of my companions were capable of eating a bear and two wolves whole—at least I was pretty sure they weren't—moving away from all the blood and fresh meat was a good choice. Something looking for a snack would have come by sooner or later.
"And once we got off the road, I could feel a clear pulse of mana running through the forest, and…" she trails off and starts to fidget harder. "Wefolloweditandfoundabrandnewdungeon."
It takes me a moment to translate the stream of sounds into a sentence, but a spark of excitement burns inside me when I do. We could be the first party to explore a dungeon. That was the kind of thing [Heroes] did.
More than that, dungeons offered loot and experience and could even grant access to new skills and classes. A brand new one might not have had the time to develop any valuable rewards, but I'd bet my next dozen meals that we'd get something really cool for being the first ones to complete this dungeon.
For some reason, the excitement I could feel on my face isn't mirrored by either of my teammates. El looks concerned, while Markus looks like he's getting ready to bring back his scolding look. They required some convincing that delving through this new-born dungeon was the right choice. Fortunately, I was a genius, and that meant that I knew exactly the right words to convince them.
"If there's a new dungeon, don't we owe it to the adventurer's guild to explore and see what's inside?"
"You almost died to a bear enhanced by the mana spilling out of the dungeon, Ciel. Anything we find inside will surely be stronger."
A frown crosses my face. That didn't sound like an enthusiastic agreement. I open my mouth to start arguing, but I'm interrupted by a furry paw placed against my lips.
"Our quest was to investigate the source of the aggressive wildlife. We've done that."
I supposed that was technically true, but what kind of adventurers weren't willing to run headfirst into mortal danger for the faintest hint of loot and new skills? I try to ask, but Markus just lifts his other paw to silence me.
"We can come back tomorrow. Or better yet, we can wait until an [Explorer] team has charted out the dungeon. We might not get the first clear, but-"
But nothing, I would have shouted if I could get past Markus's furry defense. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The kind of thing a would-be [Hero] had to grab with both hands or be left behind in the dustbin of could-have-beens and never-weres.
"Still, If you promise to be careful and let us know the instant you feel dizzy or weak, we're willing to explore a room or two of the dungeon with you." With the offer made, my furry companion hops back to sit on my stomach and frees me to speak.
There were a hundred things I wanted to ask, not least of which was why they were getting along so well now—and why their unanimity had to be directed against me—but I could figure that out later. For now, I had a choice to make.
[] Be a brave adventurer and explore the dungeon.
[] Be a responsible adventurer and tell the guild first.
[AN]
Writing a fight scene from Ciel's POV is a bit strange. She doesn't quite have the sense of life-or-death that such things would ordinarily warrant, so the tone of it becomes a bit different.
I wanted to run and jump. I wanted to tell my sisters the great news. I wanted to rampage until everything around me was ash and ruin. But I couldn't do any of that. If I made too much noise, I'd wake El and Markus up. My sisters were busy with their own [Calamity] plots. And I could hardly go on a rampage; I was an adventurer now.
So, instead of doing anything fun, I was looking around my partner's townhouse. Markus—the non-furry one—would have called it snooping because despite being the [Betrayer of Hope], he was big on boring things like etiquette. But he wasn't here to stare judgmentally at my behavior so I could snoop to my heart's content.
I walk into a cozy room with a window that stretches from floor to ceiling and looks out over a small garden kept in full bloom by a line of enchanted script. My eyes light up. Not because of the garden—though some of the plants did look tasty—but because every square inch of the walls are covered in shelf upon shelf of books.
I race over to a lounge chair set up to look out over the garden and pick up the book left open and face down on the cushions. A frown tries to form on my face, because that wasn't the right way to treat a book, but I'm far more interested in my partner's choice of reading materials. What if she liked hero books too? I could hardly wait to find out.
I pick the book up and carefully place a felt bookmark to mark her place before flipping back to the title page. A Brief History of the Decline and Fall of the Empire of Byregot. That didn't seem like a hero story, but maybe it was one of those trick titles that only became clear halfway through the book. I flip through a few pages, skimming past a boring discussion of economic something-or-others and political whatever-you-call-its and proximal causes for something called the-
Eww. I slam the book shut and let it drop so I can wipe the stain of nonfiction off my hands and onto the lounge fabric. Was my new partner a… I couldn't form the word, even in my mind, because it was so insulting, but that did nothing to halt my concern.
Walking over to the nearest shelf, I pull out the first three books: a slim yellow one, a slightly larger red one, and a truly massive book bound by wooden blocks instead of leather. I flip the books open one after another. A Traveler's Guide to Dynegard had some colorful pictures but nothing about heroes. Court Practices in the Nelbian Seas talked too much about different ways to bow. And A Brief Anthology of the [Pontificates] of the Golden Citadel didn't even reference Markus.
Regretfully, I put the books back where I found them, though I have to shove lightly to get the Anthology back into place before looking around the room. There were hundreds of books, maybe even thousands, in the room, so I couldn't say for sure, but my quick check wasn't promising. I sigh; if only I hadn't left my collection in the rubble of my former overlord's castle, I could replace all these boring books with more fun ones tonight.
But since I couldn't, it was time for me to move on. Besides, what kind of [Calamity] would I be if I stayed in a room full of dull books when there was a whole townhouse to explore?
Unfortunately, the rest of the townhouse wasn't even as interesting as the boring book room. There were two more bedrooms, which was good for when Markus and I wanted to stay overnight. There was a room filled with flowery-smelling oils and a [Warm Water] spell bound into a stone depression. There was even a dining room with seats for a dozen people and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A bunch of rooms, all of them boring, until…
A grin splits my face as I recognize the room I've just walked into. I ignored the pots and pans and the block of knives decorating it after a single glance. I'd never learned to cook. Instead, my attention bores into a bounty of food.
A plate with half a roast took pride of place on the kitchen table. Next to it was a pan of something green that had been baked and covered in breadcrumbs. Then, there was a loaf of freshly baked bread sitting in front of shallow saucers of butter and a bright red jam. Finally, and far more deserving of attention than any of the others, was a cake stacked as high as four of my fists piled on top of each other and slathered with cream and bits of shaved chocolate.
I wipe at my mouth to remove any evidence that I was drooling, simultaneously thankful and sad that Markus wasn't there with me. Sad because he wouldn't be able to partake in this feast. Thankful because that meant it was all for me.
Unfortunately for him, I was the [Calamity of Gluttony] for a reason, so I almost instantly set aside those concerns to reach out for the roast. In a single bite, I clean the meat from the bone, and after a moment to revel in the tenderness of the beef combined with the subtle mix of herbs and spices, I chomp down on the bone as well. Cow bone shows that it's no match for [Calamity] teeth, and it shatters with a delightful crunch and lets all that gooey marrow free.
With the roast gone, my eyes flicker to my next dish. I would save the cake for last, but that wouldn't give it more than a moment or two of reprieve, not with how hungry I now was.
I sit back and burp softly as I survey the remnants of my rampage. Half a dozen plates emptied of all but the smallest crumbs and drops of juices. I wasn't a savage that licked plates clean. That [Soulbound Chef] had taught me better.
I sigh in contentment. My belly wasn't full—because of the gluttony part of my class, I never got full—but I was pleasantly not-hungry. In fact, with the slow pulse of food digesting within me, I felt a bit tired. Maybe I would just rest my eyes briefly before finding somewhere else to…
Zzz…
"I wish I could say I was surprised. I do wonder where you put it all, though."
I wake up to my two partners staring at me. El looks exasperated, but true to her words, she doesn't seem at all surprised. Markus, on the other hand, is eyeing me with reproach. It seems pretty obvious that he wanted to have been involved in my feast last night and was upset that I hadn't even bothered to invite him.
I grin easily, well used to these kinds of stares. It was the same kind of look people always gave me when they realized my stomach was a bottomless pit. In my former life, I'd bankrupted more than one overlord until word got around about me. Now that I think about it, I was probably always on the path to being a [Hero]. It just took me a bit longer to get here. Still, since I was well used to exasperation and reproach and more violent emotions in response to my midnight snacking, I knew exactly how to respond.
"Let's go get breakfast!."
A grin crosses my face after my exclamation. Who could stay concerned about a devoured meal when there was a promise of another one right before them? Certainly not me.
El raises a blonde eyebrow, and her kind of purple, kind of blue eyes look me up and down. "I'm going to guess that you're expecting me to pay for that."
"Yep." I nod, happy I had picked a partner with impeccable financial sense. Money had never mattered to me. When I was on my own as a [Calamity], I could just go out and take whatever I wanted. And when I worked for an overlord, some minions and lackeys could do that for me.
"You don't have to sound so happy about it." My partner sighs more to herself than to me, but thanks to my [Superior Hearing], it came across as loud as if she'd said it straight to me. "Fine, let's go get some food. I'll buy you whatever you want-"
"Yay!"
"Within reason."
"Boo!"
I step up to the counter of the same bread store I'd visited yesterday and smile at the pudgy man in an apron.
"Hello, mister. I'm back again. Can I get three of those chocolate bread things, another one of those long sticks of bread, and…"
"Chirp."
"Something with pecans for Markus."
The man looks at me before his eyes drift to my partner. "You with them?"
"Unfortunately."
The man's head tilts at that, seemingly not sure what to make of my partner's humor, before shrugging it away. He looks back down at me and nods. "Well, good for ya, kid, for finding a place to stay. Hard enough being a kid. Let alone one that's got to stay on the street."
I wasn't sure what to make of that, but it hardly mattered when he handed over a piece of wax paper containing mine and Markus's breakfast. I place my fingers on the edge of the paper wrap, intending to tear it open and get to the deliciousness inside, but stop before I can do so. Instead, I turn to my new companion.
"Aren't you going to get anything?" A thread of concern enters my voice. We were going to the adventurer's guild next to pick up a quest. I couldn't have my new partner trying to do adventurer things on an empty stomach. That would be wrong.
"Might as well, I suppose."
I relax as I watch her lean over the display, carefully keeping her long, blonde hair out of the food. She points to a weird-shaped thing covered in a white powder. "How long ago did you fry your beignets?"
"Make the dough the night before and fry them up first thing in the morning." The man replies proudly.
"Then I'll take two of them. I assume it's the same thing for the doughnuts?" The man nods again, and El continues with her order. "And one of the jam-filled doughnuts."
The man hands over a second wax-paper-wrapped treasure and holds out his hand. "That'll be sixteen copper."
"So cheap?" My partner raises an eyebrow.
"Well," the man coughs and then looks at me for some reason. "I try to help out where I can."
That didn't make any sense to me, but it seems my partner understood—and I felt even more confident in leaving the party's finances to her. She pulls a single silver coin from a pouch wrapped tightly around her waist and drops it in the man's hand. "Keep the change."
"I-" The man trails off as he looks at both of us. He shrugs, still seeming like there is something he wants to say, but after a moment, he sighs and puts the coin in a lockbox. "Thank you, ma'am. Come back whenever."
"Bye, mister." I wave to the pudgy man and then turn to my partner. "Let's go eat by the fountain. The one with the fishking."
"That's Orthenal I, the founder of Reitzland. The statue represents the Reitz's bounty and his role in establishing the fisheries that have fed the city to this day." My partner corrects me with some boring bit of history but allows herself to be led toward the center of the intersection where Fishking Orthenal awaits.
"I like it because he's riding a fish." I needed to let her know why I thought it was so cool, or she'd think that I liked boring history stuff as much as she did.
"That's not surprising." I let out a short huff of relief, glad once again that she was so perceptive. I couldn't have made a better pick for my first teammate.
When we reach the lip of the fountain, I flop easily down on the same spot I sat in yesterday. I wait a moment for Markus to hop off, scarf clenched lightly between his teeth, before tearing open our breakfast and shoving a pan au chocolat into my mouth in a single bite. With my cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's, I hand over a braided piece of bread filled with a pecan mash and drizzled with maple syrup to my furry friend.
Markus eats slowly, probably because he hasn't learned to dislocate your jaw to fit larger bites inside—something I would have to teach him how to do someday—but my breakfast is gone in four bites. I decided to take two bites to eat the stick of bread because, if I didn't, it might have raised questions that I wasn't ready to answer. I grin to myself. No one would ever guess just how sneaky I could be.
My enjoyment of my cleverness doesn't last long. Not when I was done with my food and my two companions were still leisurely going through their own. I should have gotten a third chocolate bread. Or maybe a fourth. Or… I turn to look at El, a hopeful look crossing my face as I let my eyes meaningfully shift from her to a beignet sitting uneaten in her lap.
My partner smirks at me and maintains eye contact as she slowly lifts it before taking a huge bite. My face falls, and I take back every good thought I'd ever had about her. She was clearly a [Blackguard] in disguise to take such joy in the suffering of an innocent [Calamity] like me. I look down at Markus, but he's busy washing his paws in the fountain, his breakfast nowhere to be seen. Neither of my companions had saved a single bite for me. How evil.
I refuse to let their betrayal get to me. After all, there was more on my mind than eating—as shocking as my sisters might have found that. I had already completed the first two steps of my plan to become a [Hero], and now I needed to start the third step. My grin takes in my companions sitting on either side of me.
"Let's go pick up a quest from the guild!"
"Hello." I wave happily to the guild receptionist, taking special care so that my E-rank bracelet catches the sunlight from a window. I didn't want her to think Markus and I had failed our tests yesterday.
"Good morning, Ciel and Markus… and is that Edel-"
"It's El, Leah. You know that."
"Is that El I see, awake before noon and deigning to be seen with other adventurers?"
"Tch."
My partner and the receptionist bicker back and forth for a moment before my partner surrenders with a rude gesture and stomps away into the common room.
I make a note for my impeccable memory that my partner had a name she didn't want other people to overhear. That was the kind of secret a princess in disguise kept while desperately seeking allies to help restore her to the throne. While my partner didn't strike me as the desperate type, she did have some princess-y behaviors. Still, I had to let the receptionist know she'd made a mistake.
"You shouldn't use people's secret names like that." I fix her with my best disapproving stare. "They're secret for a reason."
The receptionist opens her mouth as though to respond, only to close it without saying anything. She stares at me for a moment before wilting in the face of my disapproval. "You're not wrong. She just makes it so easy to tease."
"I don't care about that, but secret names are important. What if she was the long-lost daughter of a famous [Archmage] searching for a way to free her mother from [Cycle of Eternity]? You'd be spoiling the whole plot in the first act."
While she was busy being overwhelmed by my genius—and mouthing 'Cycle of Eternity' to herself as though she'd never even heard of the Tier 8 spell before—I decide to shift back to the reason why we'd come in the first place.
"Markus, El, and I need a quest."
"A quest for three E-ranks, hmm…" The receptionist looks over her shoulder at the bulletin board behind her. "Our quests are posted on the board, but if you want my advice-"
"Nope." I turn from the receptionist and race over to the board. How could I call myself an adventurer, let alone a [Hero], if I needed advice on the very first quest my party would take?
My eyes skim along the list of cards nailed to the board. Some looked fun, especially the one to head into the Jhoral Mountains and cull the wyvern flight that had settled there. Unfortunately, it was listed as B-rank. Most of the notices were for quests above our rank, though there was one to find a lost pet that had been flagged as F-rank. I ignored those in favor of snagging a pair of quests marked for E-ranks and racing over to my lounging partner.
"I found two quests! One involves going into the sewer-"
"Not a chance."
A frown crosses my face at that quick dismissal. So many [Hero] stories started with the soon-to-be [Hero] slaying rats in some underground place, but I wasn't going to argue with my companion. My books had hammered home the importance of listening to my party when they wanted something. If I didn't, they'd inevitably betray me and leave me to die somewhere.
"Then how about a trek into the forest to check on some abnormally aggressive wildlife?"
I lay the notice down and wait as she scans it. Eventually, she looks back up at me and sighs, "Sure. How bad could it be?"
"Alright!" My fist pumps in the air with my excitement. "Let's go!"
"Are you sure you're ok on that?" I turn around and look at my partner lounging comfortably on a self-propelled cart.
"Sorry, Ciel." Her face doesn't look sorry at all. It looks quite smug, "there's only space for one up here."
"I didn't want up anyways." I lie. I very much wanted to hop aboard and see just how fast the cart could go, but I couldn't tell my partner that. "I was just wondering how it will handle when we go offroad."
"It's a Tollheim." At my blank stare, she sighs and mutters something that sounds like 'uncultured swine' before continuing. "They're designed to go anywhere a horse can on only twenty to fifty mana stones a day."
"Manastones are crunchy and sparky when I eat them." I smile. Even though they weren't my favorite, the sour taste of raw mana made it a nice, sometimes-treat.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." El turns her stare away from me and to the sky above. "How much farther until we reach our destination."
"I don't know."
I continue walking backward so I can look at my teammate's cart, which means I get a perfect view of the confused scowl that she directs straight at me.
"You don't know?"
"Nope." I shake my head emphatically. I knew we were on a road and that our destination was in a forest, but other than that.
"Did you at least bring a map or-"
"Nope."
"I don't know why I even asked." El doesn't mutter the words as though she were speaking to herself; instead, she looks directly at me. "So you just picked a direction and started walking?"
"Yep." I nod confidently. It was a foolproof plan. One that had never steered me wrong before.
El's eyes darken to purple as she scowls at me. "And what if we're going the wrong way?"
How could we be going in the wrong direction? That didn't even make sense. I was about to tell my annoyed companion as much when my perfect memory pokes me. When I was a [Calamity], I just kind of wandered around looking for fun things to do, and when I was working for an overlord, I mostly used [Hellfire Portal]. I'd never actually tried to find something intentionally like this before.
"Umm…"
"Dead Gods. Ugh. Ciel, you can't just-" This time, I knew she wasn't pointing out a delicious and refreshing snack, so I kept my eyes fixed on my companion firmly enough to see a vein start to throb alongside her temple.
"Chirp."
That's right. We shouldn't be arguing while a bear flanked by two mean-looking wolves slowly sneaks toward us.
"Not now, squirrel."
My face shifts into a frown. That wasn't nice. "His name's Markus."
"He's a squirrel."
While that was true, I didn't go around pointing out that humans were squishy humans. After all, not everyone was lucky enough to be a [Calamity], and they shouldn't be mocked for things they couldn't control.
"He's also a [Rogue] and our companion."
My argument seems to fall on deaf ears as El's scowl deepens, "He's a rodent in a dress shirt."
Now, it was my turn to scowl. If that's how she felt, then maybe I should go on a quick rampage and find another party member later. I'd just have to keep this failed attempt a secret. I decide to let the idea shatter into fractal patterns in my mind, just to check.
But as it reforms, it tells me I should give her another chance. After all, maybe she just wasn't used to furry friends.
"That's not nice-"
"Chirp." Markus interrupts me with a much louder chirp, and I look at the bear and his friends, who are no longer creeping through the forest lining the road but had assembled mere feet behind El's moving cart.
"Exactly." I agreed with my furry friend. "We shouldn't argue in front of the giant bear and his friends."
"What bear?" El shoots up from her lounging pose as her eyes dart through the trees surrounding us.
"The one trying to sneak up on us." Surely, even feeble human noses could make out the smell of blood and violence, right?
"I don't-" Apparently not. It might not have been nice to mock humans for their lack of senses, but I was certainly glad I hadn't been hatched as one.
Still, El was my companion, at least until she insulted Markus again, so it was only right that I pointed out what she couldn't sense. "he's right behind you."
"Holy fuck! How'd a bear-"
On cue, she turns around, only to see the bear rearing up on its hind legs—wow, he was really tall like that—and shouts in a way that sounded more princess-y than adventurer-y. Yet more proof for my hypothesis that she was somebody important in disguise.
"It snuck up while we were arguing. I think it wants your cart." Either that or it wanted to eat her, but I knew I shouldn't say that. I was, after all, a genius.
"I don't care what it wants, Ciel. You're the tank. Get in there and let it maul you."
Sidekicks weren't supposed to tell the [Hero] what to do, but I suppose that since I wasn't actually a [Hero], her order was ok. So I slip my shield from where it sits on my back like a giant turtle shell and wrap it around my right hand. Then I pull my sword free from its sheathe in a smooth motion I'd been practicing all morning and step confidently in front of the bear and his friends.
This would not only be my first fight as a not-[Calamity], but also my first fight in front of my teammates. A good impression was critical. So I slap my shield with the hilt of my sword, letting the grin I feel in my heart form on my face. As the three animals turn toward me with bloodlust in their eyes, I roar.
Unfortunately, my smaller form didn't have the lungs to make a truly impressive roar. That doesn't matter, though, as I take advantage of the momentary confusion to lash out with my sword.
The flat of my blade collides with the skull of one of the bear's friends, and a wolf drops bonelessly to the ground. An instant later, my shield flicks up to block a mouthful of lunging teeth as the other wolf tries to claim vengeance for his fallen partner. I mash my shield forward into his nose before he can leap backward and try again, and his pained howl gives me all the opening I need to bring the pommel of my sword down on his head. He drops as well.
That was two sub-bosses down in two strikes, which I thought was pretty good, but it only seemed to make the bear madder. To be fair, I'd be mad, too, if my sidekicks had been defeated that easily. I didn't have much time to dwell on that before I had to raise my shield to block the swipe of a massive paw.
Unlike with the wolf, my [Enhanced Strength] isn't enough to match the enraged bear, and I'm sent tumbling to the side. I quickly push myself upright, ready for a second attack, but before the bear can bring his paw down in a smash that would knock me flat, I see the glint of Markus's teeth as he flashes behind the bear. I couldn't quite tell where my furry friend had struck, but based on how the bear's roar sounded a bit higher pitched than a roar should, I think I might need to talk with him about inappropriate places to attack.
Still, a distraction was a distraction, so I reluctantly moved forward to boop the bear on his head too, only to stop at a shout of '[Firebolt].' I dodge backward, an arrow of fire searing the air inches in front of my face as it streaks toward a furry flank. The spell hits with a dull boom—kind of like a book slamming closed in a quiet room—and fire washes over the bear's side.
He roars, enraged and on fire, and I grin. This was much more like it. A flaming bear was absolutely a worthy opponent.
I bash a paw strike with my shield, angling it just right so the force deflects at an angle rather than straight on. Even so, I stagger at the strength behind it, and that puts me off balance enough that I don't have time to avoid the second paw as it slams into my chest. Bear claws shred through my [Thick Skin] as though it were paper, even as the force of the blow sends me flying.
The sky and road flip upside down and back up several times before I land with a crack against an inconveniently placed tree. I let out a quiet 'oof' and feel tree bark sliding against my back until my rear end lands on a web of bony roots.
My head spins, or maybe the world spins around me. I couldn't tell. And maybe I would have just found a nice place to rest for a bit if not for a shrill voice shouting my name. Oh, right. I had teammates who would probably be eaten if I took a nap. What kind of [Hero] would I be if I let that happen?
A shake of my head clears the gray fog around my eyes and gives me just enough awareness to interpret the drumbeat echoing in my ears as the frenzied pounding of massive paws against packed dirt. I look up, and sure enough, a bear's maw, opened wider than I was tall, is snapping toward me. I wasn't about to be a snack—I ate bears, not the other way around—and just as it gets close enough that I could feel its hot, stinky breath on my face, I tuck myself into a ball and roll to the side. The teeth of the fire-bear slam shut with a loud crash, but they only taste air.
My rolling dodge moves me past his teeth and front paws, and I grin as I have a free shot at him. My sword flicks out and bites deeply into his back paw. I filter out the sound of an enraged roar that might have damaged my ears if I were human and scamper through the space my strike had opened between his front and rear paws.
I roll to my feet and set into the stance my guildmaster had shown me, but before the bear can turn to bite at me again, a [Firebolt] sears through the air and catches the bear on his snout. I grin. Now, that was teamwork. My grin widens as I see a flash of Markus's teeth—thankfully, this time, he targeted the same paw I'd cut at earlier—before he hops away to the sound of a pained roar.
This was great. We were fighting as a perfectly in-sync unit. Markus and El were peppering the bear with fire and dagger-like bites while I kept his attention on trying to maul me. Just like a tank should.
Even better than the glory of our teamwork was the feel of blood trickling down my chest and my face. Rampaging was fun, but since nothing had ever managed to hurt me, it was a bit boring, but this. This…
I roar again and dash toward the bear. This was everything I had ever wanted.
My shield deflects a paw strike while my sword flicks out and scores a pair of shallow gashes in his chest. I roll between the bear's legs at a shout of 'Ciel! Duck!' and a third [Firebolt] explodes against the mess of matted fur and blood I'd left of the bear's torso.
Before the bear can change his mind and target my companion, I jump back in, sliding my blade along the back of its knee in a quick, sawing motion. I hear more than feel the tendon snap, and my grin stretches as far as my smaller form will allow it as the bear sways clumsily as it tries to lash out at me with his paws.
Unfortunately, my enjoyment is short-lived. With only three paws left and my team working together better than a centuries-old overlord and their most trusted flunkies, the bear falls to defeat quickly. Looking down at the bear's corpse and its many cuts and burns, I almost feel bad for it.
Almost. Because even a [Calamity] knew sometimes food fought back, and there was no one to blame but yourself if you got killed by your snack. Not that anything could truly kill a [Calamity], of course, but the principal remained.
"Fuck! That was- Oh, shit! Ciel!" My partner scrambles down from her cart and rushes over to me. " Are you alright?"
Something in my chest starts to bubble like I'd just eaten a ten-course feast, and a different kind of grin crosses my face—how strange. "I'm ok."
"I saw you get swatted aside." El scowls, but it doesn't look angry at all. It looks scared. I wonder why. "Sit. I've got a potion or two. We'll get you good as new."
"I'm fine." My grin grows wider even as my legs give out, and I fall back on my rear.
"Ciel!" The shout of my name echoes strangely in my ears, as though it was coming from very far away. I hear more words like, 'Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea,' and 'I won't let you die on me, you gluttonous little shit.'
My lips twist in a smirk as those words filter through the haze darkening my thoughts and eyesight. I wasn't a little gluttony. I was the [Calamity of Gluttony] herself. I open my mouth to tell her that, only to find the darkness rushing up to overwhelm me.
[Fighter Level 2!]
[Gained Basic Shield Proficiency]
Ooh, Neat…
"Back with us, huh?"
I open my eyes and stare up at my partner's relieved face. "What happened?"
"Unconsciousness brought on by exsanguination." El must have read the confusion on my face because she offers a lopsided smirk. "Bloodloss. You passed out after losing too much blood."
That didn't sound good, but since I was awake now, it probably was just one of those things that sounded worse than it was. I squirm slightly as I feel my hip digging into something flat and hard. My partner drops a thin, beige pillow on my head.
"Careful sitting up. Your little guy's been refusing to move."
I manage to wedge the pillow into place before looking down at the weight I now realize was sitting on my chest. Markus was staring up at me with a remonstrative look on his face. I only recognized it because it was the same look my sisters gave me when I tried something new and fun. Fortunately, I also knew what to say whenever anyone looked at me like that.
"Sorry, Markus. I'll try better next time."
My friend keeps up the stare for a moment longer before nodding firmly, and I breathe out a sigh of relief.
My head falls back onto a pillow, and I look up at the sky only to realize many more trees are overhead than before I'd been de-blooded. "Where are we?"
Somewhat to my surprise, El fidgets and looks away before responding. "While you were out cold, the sq- Markus and I thought it best to take shelter away from our battle site."
Since neither of my companions were capable of eating a bear and two wolves whole—at least I was pretty sure they weren't—moving away from all the blood and fresh meat was a good choice. Something looking for a snack would have come by sooner or later.
"And once we got off the road, I could feel a clear pulse of mana running through the forest, and…" she trails off and starts to fidget harder. "Wefolloweditandfoundabrandnewdungeon."
It takes me a moment to translate the stream of sounds into a sentence, but a spark of excitement burns inside me when I do. We could be the first party to explore a dungeon. That was the kind of thing [Heroes] did.
More than that, dungeons offered loot and experience and could even grant access to new skills and classes. A brand new one might not have had the time to develop any valuable rewards, but I'd bet my next dozen meals that we'd get something really cool for being the first ones to complete this dungeon.
For some reason, the excitement I could feel on my face isn't mirrored by either of my teammates. El looks concerned, while Markus looks like he's getting ready to bring back his scolding look. They required some convincing that delving through this new-born dungeon was the right choice. Fortunately, I was a genius, and that meant that I knew exactly the right words to convince them.
"If there's a new dungeon, don't we owe it to the adventurer's guild to explore and see what's inside?"
"You almost died to a bear enhanced by the mana spilling out of the dungeon, Ciel. Anything we find inside will surely be stronger."
A frown crosses my face. That didn't sound like an enthusiastic agreement. I open my mouth to start arguing, but I'm interrupted by a furry paw placed against my lips.
"Our quest was to investigate the source of the aggressive wildlife. We've done that."
I supposed that was technically true, but what kind of adventurers weren't willing to run headfirst into mortal danger for the faintest hint of loot and new skills? I try to ask, but Markus just lifts his other paw to silence me.
"We can come back tomorrow. Or better yet, we can wait until an [Explorer] team has charted out the dungeon. We might not get the first clear, but-"
But nothing, I would have shouted if I could get past Markus's furry defense. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The kind of thing a would-be [Hero] had to grab with both hands or be left behind in the dustbin of could-have-beens and never-weres.
"Still, If you promise to be careful and let us know the instant you feel dizzy or weak, we're willing to explore a room or two of the dungeon with you." With the offer made, my furry companion hops back to sit on my stomach and frees me to speak.
There were a hundred things I wanted to ask, not least of which was why they were getting along so well now—and why their unanimity had to be directed against me—but I could figure that out later. For now, I had a choice to make.
[] Be a brave adventurer and explore the dungeon.
[] Be a responsible adventurer and tell the guild first.
Level 2 [Fighter]
Skills
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]
The ability to wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Basic Shield Proficiency]
The ability to use shields with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it provides strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents
[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Superior Awareness]. It doubles the effective ability of an individual to hear things, but does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.
[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills, it provides a resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.
Skills
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]
The ability to wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Basic Shield Proficiency]
The ability to use shields with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it provides strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents
[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Superior Awareness]. It doubles the effective ability of an individual to hear things, but does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.
[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills, it provides a resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.
[AN]
Writing a fight scene from Ciel's POV is a bit strange. She doesn't quite have the sense of life-or-death that such things would ordinarily warrant, so the tone of it becomes a bit different.
In which a Villainess is visited by family
"Just remember that we're agreed on one or two rooms, not the whole thing." My partner stares at me as though daring me to disagree. "And if we find a dungeon boss, we retreat, no questions asked."
"Wait, what? That doesn't sound like what you said." I frown; my memory is impeccable. I knew she hadn't said a word about any sort of boss.
"That's the deal, Ciel. Take it or leave it." Markus joins his stare to El's. It feels like I'm being attacked but with disapproval rather than swords and spells. Their disapproval is unnecessary, though.
I sigh deeply, forlornly, and look longingly at the swirl of mana El said was the entrance to a brand new dungeon. I couldn't believe what I was about to say. "We should go back and let the guild know it's here."
"Though if we do run across-" El's haranguing cuts off abruptly, and she stares at me with disbelief. "You, what?"
"Yeah, we should be…" ugh, it was hard to even say the word, "responsible."
My partner leans forward to put her hand on my forehead. "Are you ok? Did you hit your head harder than it looked?"
I shake my head carefully so her hand is closer to a head pat, but it doesn't help. "I'm fine."
El leans back, and Markus takes her place by patting a furry paw against my cheek. I keep the frown in my heart off my face; it seemed like I was worrying my teammates—that wasn't [Hero] behavior at all.
I force myself to smile. As I feel it flow over my face, my perfect memory pokes me, and I spring to my feet. I rush over to my shield and slide my arms through the straps.
"I leveled up. I'm a level 2 [Fighter] now," I bask in the awed stares of my teammates for a moment before continuing. "And I got a new skill. Watch."
I raise my shield and angle it perfectly to deflect a swiping bear attack. If I'd had [Basic Shield Proficiency] before that fight, I'd have shield-bashed that fire-bear right in his furry wrist instead of getting swatted into a tree.
"What are we supposed to be watching?"
"It's my new and improved shield skill."
El raises a golden eyebrow in a way that I was sure was mocking. I turn to Markus for support, but his furry head is firmly planted in his furry paws. Well, forget about them; I think it's cool.
I make a few more shield moves, to the amazement of my teammates, before returning it to my back. "So, what about you two?"
Markus raises a pair of furry fingers—or are they toes?—and shakes his head. Well, a level 2 [Rogue] wasn't bad at all. I turn to El, but she just sighs.
"You should keep your skills and levels secret, Ciel. The surprise can make all the difference."
It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. Why would I need a surprise against my teammates? I open my mouth to ask the question, but before I can, El sighs and mutters something like, 'That look's just not fair' before continuing.
"I didn't level today, but I'm a level 7 [Mage]."
Wow, I was lucky to find such a powerful [Mage] as my first teammate. If I kept this up, I'd be a [Hero] in no time. In fact, I was so pleased that I let her lack of answer about her skills go for now.
"So why didn't you want to go into a dungeon? I've never been in one before."
This wasn't even a [Calamity] secret. I'd never actually been inside a dungeon before. Not for lack of trying, though. My larger form was just too big to fit inside. That wasn't a problem now, but it seemed I'd traded it for another—overly concerned teammates.
"Dungeons are dangerous, Ciel. Unexplored ones even more so."
"Why?" I frown, feeling somehow insulted. That didn't make any sense. A wandering [Calamity] was dangerous. What did a hole in the ground have on that?
"Dungeons are… to call them sentient would be saying too much, but they have a certain base cunning." I roll my eyes at that. How was a dumb hole a threat? El reaches forward and flicks my forehead before continuing. "That's not the issue, though. The issue is that they grow by killing adventurers."
So did [Calamities], but I didn't hear my teammate singing our praises. Well, maybe if she knew her leader was a [Calamity] in disguise, she might change her mind. Unfortunately, it was way too soon for that kind of revelation.
"New things are unpredictable, and we don't exactly have the skills to navigate a dungeon safely." Markus chirps softly at that, and El looks at him with a wry smirk. "For traps, yes, but we really need another teammate to help round out our party."
I nod at that. Every [Hero]'s party I'd read about had at least four members. Some had as many as eight, but I didn't want to lead that many people. How would I be able to prove my [Hero] potential if we had enough adventurers for a whole second team?
"We can't just pick anyone, though."
A slow smirk unfolds on my partner's face. "Indeed, we need someone who can put up with your you-ness."
"What's that-" I was a [Calamity] and a soon-to-be [Hero] who wouldn't like me?
"Chirp."
My furry friend chips in his traitorous opinion, and my face falls in disappointment. "Not fair. Stop ganging up on me."
El's smirk widens, and she opens her mouth to respond, only to be cut off as I push her to the side with an [Enhanced Strength] shove. Her annoyed look vanishes as she watches an arrow of some crimson liquid knifing through the space where her head was a moment ago. I don't have time to respond, though, because my shield and sword are in my hands as I race to meet a blob of congealed blood as it oozes into our clearing.
It wiggles menacingly, but before it can shift out of its slime form and into something more dangerous, my shield bashes it in its slowly transforming face. My sword flicks out a moment later and cuts the blob in half. Turning around, I raise my sword victoriously, only to put it back down as the splashes of blood begin to reform into a singular whole.
Well, if that didn't work, I could always bash it harder. I step forward, ready to show the weird blood-slime exactly what my new [Basic Shield Proficiency] could do, only to dive to the side at a shout of '[Firebolt].'
Blood burns and sizzles as the spell carves a hole in the slime. Before it can do more than jiggle in distress, my shield falls on it, and the slime explodes with a splash of rancid blood. This time, I wait until I'm sure it won't reform before raising my sword victoriously.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's…" I pause for a moment. It looked like a [Lesser Bloodforged], a golem-something-or-other my sister Ashe created with her [Sanguine Ascendance] skill. She couldn't be here, though. She was always too busy with that dumb flying city of hers to play. "I don't know."
"I'll let that ominous pause go for the moment," my partner shoots me a stare that says she's not done with this at all. "I think we need to get back to the city. Now."
"Right-" The rest of my statement is cut off by a titanic roar and an explosion of mana. Huh, that really did sound just like Ashe.
"Onto the cart!" I shout and leap into the passenger seat of El's cart. Markus settles on my shoulder a moment later, my scarf wrapped around his furry body like one of those sneaky Ryuujin fighters.
"It's a Tollheim." My partner scowls at me, but she moves quickly to the driver's seat of her cart.
"Alright! Let's go!" If I were in my larger form, my shout would have exploded the trees around us. Unfortunately, all I could offer in this small form was a high-pitched, squeaky noise.
"Someone better pay for these manastones!"
My partner's battlecry is even less impressive than my squeaky one, but since hers is accompanied by the cart shooting off between the trees at a speed that whips my hair against my face, I decided to let it go.
"Incoming!" I shout before leaping off the careening cart.
I ignore a groan of 'Ciel' as I soar through the air and move my shield from its place on my arm to underneath my feet. Moments later, I land with the wet splash of an exploding blood-slime. I skid for a few feet on my shield and swing my sword to bisect another blood-slime before losing my balance and tumbling into a graceful heap.
I spring upright to the sound of a [Firebolt] sizzling through rancid blood and turn toward the old man I'd just rescued. "One moment, mister. Your rescue's almost done."
With that, I sprint toward the nearest slime-monster, leaving an open mouth and an incredulous stare in my wake.
My shield swings low in front of me—I'd learned after the first few encounters with the probably [Bloodforged] that it was even more effective than my sword—and I crash through another slime.
The grin on my face widens as I hear Markus chirp softly as he leads my newest fan to safety, but I can't spare the time to bask in the joy of acting like a [Hero]. The blood-slimes were wiggling in a way that I had learned meant they were about to combine into something much larger. Which was a really unfair thing to do—defeated monsters should stay defeated.
Well, my team and I could be unfair, too.
"El!" I shout at my partner as I swing the pommel of my sword down into a jiggly mass of blood and mana. "Burn it!"
"Easy for you to say!"
The shout was interspersed with the kind of panting that probably meant my partner was running low on mana, but that wasn't something we could worry about now. Not if we wanted to keep the civilians we'd rescued un-exsanguinated. Still, despite her exhaustion, my partner flings fire at the congealing mass in front of me. An instant later, my blade carves a divot through gelid, flaming slime and comes back with a burning ember on the end of it.
I grin as a brilliant idea occurs to me. "Hey, El! Set my sword on fire!"
"That's a whole different spell, you little shit!" I step to the side as a ball of fire sears through the opening I'd made in my opponent's jelly.
"Boo!" I angle my shield and use it more like a shovel than anything to rip rotten blood from the combo-jelly.
"No! Boo you!" Another sputter of fire shoots out from my partner's perch on the cart, and I grin as the monster collapses into dead-for-the-moment goo.
"Hey, mister. You still alive?" I call out to the man staring at my team with a dumbfounded look on his face.
"I- what- who are-."
"We're an adventuring group. The Little Calamities." I grin and raise my sword in a victorious pose. I'd spent the last three rescues trying to think up the perfect team name, and I'd finally come across it.
"We are not calling ourselves that!" My teammate throws a wet blanket on top of my enthusiasm.
"I- umm-."
"Hop in the second cart, mister, and we'll get you to safety."
I point at a merchant's wagon tied to the back of our cart filled with the other civilians we'd rescued.
"This has to be the last one, Ciel. We don't have space for anyone else. We have to get the ones we have to safety."
"Aww. Ok."
The land around Reitzland didn't look like it had when I'd slept outside a few nights back. Great divots had been torn into the earth and were leaking wisps of corrosive mana. Bodies and dismembered limbs were strewn in almost artful decoration amidst the wreckage of battle.
Smushed against one of the raised bridges that led into the city was a ragged line of men and women in gore-stained armor.
"El!" I shout over my shoulder. "Over there!"
"I see it!"
Her shout is accompanied by our cart tilting up onto two wheels as it turns almost perpendicular and starts to pick up speed until it feels like we're flying. I grab a handful of the railing to keep myself from falling off, and Markus latches his furry paws into my hair.
"Woohoo!"
We careen toward a squad of blood-slimes, and I stretch out over the side of the cart and angle my shield exactly the way [Basic Shield Proficiency] tells me. A moment later, I shout gleefully as my shield scythes through a blood-slime minotaur.
My face is split open in a grin, and my hair whips back against my neck as I lean out even further to prepare for my next strike. I hear Markus's alarmed chirp as he scampers down my side, but I can't pull back now. Not when there were so many targets to choose from.
Our cart wheels around a shallow crater and straight over a pair of goblin-slimes. I wait a moment for the wheels on my side to drop back down and then another moment for the angle to be just right before I flick out with the flat of my blade and bisect the hobgoblin-slime leading them.
"Woo-ack!" My shout is cut off as I'm dragged bodily back into the cart, and I look up to see El glaring down at me.
"Stop fucking around, Ciel! We've got to break through that to get these people to safety."
My partner sounds far less excited than I do, but when I turn to look at what she's pointing, I understand why. Hundreds of slime-monsters led by a single giant-slime threatened to overrun the makeshift fortification.
"Got it!" I can barely hear myself over the howling wind and the screaming of civilians. "You drive, I'll swing!"
"Ciel, what!?!"
I ignore the shouted question and clamber to the front of the cart—the cart's wheels weren't bad at smushing the slimes, but if we were going to do this right, we needed something sharper. After this was over, I'd see if we could add some spikes or blades, but for now, a soon-to-be [Hero] would have to do.
I lie on my stomach and wrap my legs around the guard rails. Then, I extend as far forward as possible without falling off. I hold out my shield in one arm, angled to shovel pieces out of any slime that got close enough. In the other, my sword is prepared to cut through anything my shield-shovel misses. I take a moment to brace myself at the sight of the ground racing past beneath me, and then it's time.
The world around me blurs into a rain of rancid blood and ooze as my sword and shield lash out ceaselessly. Goblin-slimes splatter left and right, torn apart by my sword and shield or reduced to bubbling puddles of noxious fumes. In moments, gore stains my face and drips in fat clumps down my hair.
I've never felt so alive.
Then our cart turns toward the lead slime, and I scream the loudest battle cry my tiny lungs can offer as we charge toward the hill-giant-slime. As we speed closer, I line up for a strike that would cut off one of its jelly-legs, but instead of shoveling out gore and ooze, my shield bounces off a thick knot of slime-muscle with enough force to send me flying.
My battlecry turns to a gleeful shout—I'd never learned how to fly on my own—as my body arcs up and over El and Markus huddled beside each other in the driver's seat. Far too quickly, my flying turns to falling, and I stretch out with my shield arm to grab the lip of the back of the cart before it leaves me behind in the dust.
My fingers manage to clamp down on a fancy bit of gilt and carving. For a second, I just dangle there, holding on with all the [Enhanced Strength] my body has to offer while my feet bounce against the ground.
As we pull free of the last line of slime-monsters and into a hastily opened gap in the line of defenders, wooden tires slide into ground churned into mud and muck by all the fighting. The cart shudders to an abrupt stop, and my torso slams against the rear end of the cart. I fall bonelessly to the ground.
A loud groan echoes through my bruised ribs. "Oof."
"Get the civilians to the interior and get these adventurers some potions." I hear a familiar voice through the haze of pain and breathlessness engulfing me. It was the nice guildmaster—Alis.
"Still alive, huh, Ciel?" A calloused hand pulls me effortlessly from my resting place on the wet, gory mud and sets me lightly on the ground.
"Hi, guildmaster." I grin dizzily, leaning into the steadying hand on my shoulder for support. "We managed to find the cause of the animal aggression. There's a new dungeon out that way."
I wave my hand in the general direction that we came from. At least, I think it was the way we came. I was a bit preoccupied on the trip back, to say for sure.
"Heh. You can tell me all about it later." the guildmaster smirks tiredly. "After we deal with whatever this is."
I nod in agreement but keep my mouth shut. I couldn't say that it was my sister. Not if I wanted to keep my [Calamity] secrets secret. Besides that, if no one had recognized the signature skill of a [Calamity], I wasn't sure telling them would even help all that much.
"The Council has the Mages Guild sending out [Messages], but nothing's come back so far. At least not that they're sharing with the grunts on the ground."
I nod. It was strange. Normally, Ashe was a lot more subtle than this—she was the [Calamity of Pride] after all. This was more like something I would have done—without the slime-monsters, of course.
"Here," she tosses a towel at me. "Take a minute to clean off. I'll need every hand that can hold a weapon or cast a spell on the line with me."
Minutes later, I wasn't exactly clean, but at least I was no longer coated in a thick layer of slime-gore, as I waited in a line facing out at the slowly gathering blood-slime horde.
El was behind me, and Markus was perched on my shoulder. A big red-haired man I kind of recognized was to my right, and the cat-eared girl from the guildhouse was on my left. Behind us was the group of civilians that we and some other teams had rescued. And in front of us, at the center of the line, was guildmaster Alis.
The guildmaster's eyes sweep over us, pausing momentarily on Markus and me before continuing. "I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the city is sealed. No one will be going in or out."
The man beside me flinches slightly, and El inhales a muted gasp. A civilian shouts something but is silenced a moment later by a flicker of the Guildmaster's aura.
"The worse news is that we finally got word from the Skyfall Archives. These blood-monsters are associated with an unknown S-rank threat."
"But do not despair…" Some kind of skill tickles at the edges of my thoughts, but can't find purchase.
I don't pay any mind to that or the Guildmaster's probably rousing speech. I had a far larger concern: how was this the work of an unknown threat? A [Calamity] was a world-renowned monster capable of destroying cities and armies and fleets. We were the terrors of the six continents. Where we rampaged, devastation followed.
I was almost certain these slime-monsters were Ashe's [Bloodforged]. And if I was right, Reitzland was being visited by not one, but two [Calamities]—well, one was in disguise, but still. How could a city the size of Reitzland not recognize a [Calamity]? Unless…
My frown deepens. Was my sister really not at all famous in Dynegard? Did that mean people on the other continents didn't know about the [Calamity of Gluttony]? I could almost feel myself wilting. Have I really been that unimpressive a [Calamity]?
The guildmaster's speech that I'd been ignoring ends with a rousing shout, one that's echoed by the adventurers surrounding me. Despite feeling inadequate and not at all like shouting, I do it anyway.
The gathered slime-army responds to our battle cry with a burbly one of its own, and then they charge.
As the wave of rancid blood rushes across the field, I turn to look at Markus, "Stay safe."
He nods his furry head—he'd left my scarf with one of the civilians we'd rescued for safekeeping. I turn around to look at my other teammate and repeat the same words with the same grin.
"I should be saying that to you, you idiot."
I grin and feel my earlier disappointment fade away like an army hit by [Annihilation]. I'd found a great pair of teammates—the best—and we were about to defend a city against a horde of monsters. What could possibly be better than this?
At twenty paces, our guildmaster raises her sword high overhead and brings it down in a sweeping motion. The air lights up with mana and arrows. [Firebolts] and [Cutting Wind] and [Water Cannons] fall amidst the enemy ranks and tear holes in their cascading charge. The second barrage is much less impressive, though, as only a few of the quicker adventurers launch a second arrow or fire off a second spell before the wave crashes upon us.
I dig my feet into the gory mud and brace for the charge as a goblin-slime slams face-first into me. Thanks to my [Enhanced Strength] and my [Basic Shield Proficiency], I deflect the force of the slime's attack to the side, where the red-haired man turns it into a splash of rotten blood with a strike of his hammer.
I bat away another goblin-slime and use my sword like a spoon to scoop out his slime-brain. El shouts to duck. The cat-girl and the redhead both drop, but I'm short enough that I don't have to do anything to avoid the fan of flame that sprays out over us.
Into the gap opened by my teammate's attack, I sprint forward and slam my shield down on a burnt, crippled-looking goblin-slime. Markus jumps off my shoulder and chomps into the archer's slime-neck while I spin to one side to block a slime arrow with my shield. My sword flicks out as he leaps onto another goblin-slime to continue his attack, and I finish the decapitation he'd started.
There's a deep, bellowed shout to my left an instant before I feel slime-claws scraping against my [Thick Skin]. I roll away before the claws can do anything more than graze me, and as I hop to my feet, I see the redhead turning my attacker into a slimy pulp.
I lift my shield in thanks and then sprint over to where the cat-girl is weaving between the claws and Blades of a trio of goblin-slimes. I crash into the rearmost one and angle my shield to drive him into the ground. My opponent explodes in a splash of blood and gore that is joined a heartbeat later by the splashy remains of the other two slimes.
Cat-girl smirks at me, and as one, we turn toward a hobgoblin-slime lumbering toward us. In unspoken unison, we rush forward to meet him. She strikes high, her fists carving divots out of his slime-chest. I go low, my shield and sword scissoring together to snip right through his slime-leg.
Unbalanced, he falls to one knee. Before he can even begin to reattach his leg, he's engulfed in a blender of fists and swords. Moments later, all that's left is a streak of blood and slime.
I look around at the space our attack had opened, and grin as I see Markus and El have teamed up. He nips at a goblin-slime's hamstring, and she blasts him with fire. That was good teamwork. In fact, our whole impromptu group seems to be doing well enough that there's a little bubble of space around us. So, I cast a quick look around the battlefield.
To the left, our line of guards and adventurers is buckling, but before I can help, Alis shouts '[Blade of the Gargant]' and swings her suddenly massive sword through rank after rank of slimes.
Wow. My heart starts beating faster as I scoop out a goblin-slime's guts with my shield before jumping up and crushing its head beneath my feet. I couldn't wait until I learned something cool like that. Unfortunately, I don't get much time to marvel at the attack before another wave of slime monsters is here.
I grin proudly as I watch Markus dive through the eye of a hobgoblin-slime, and take advantage of its distraction to carve off a slime-filled leg. Before I can follow up with a decapitating strike, the cat-girl pulps its torso with a single punch. A few feet away to my left, the red-haired man destroys a goblin-slime with a [Concussive Strike] while the dark-blue ripple of air his strike creates explodes half a dozen more.
That was so cool. I was surrounded by so many cool people. I shake my head. I couldn't afford to get distracted by the other adventurers. If I did, they'd outperform me, and they might become a [Hero] instead of me. I couldn't let that happen.
A hobgoblin-slime bubbles out a roar and swings his slime-axe down at me. I just grin and dart between his legs like I had with that fire-bear. As I break free on the other side, I shovel a huge chunk out of his slime-spine. He burbles out another roar as he spins around to face me. I'd been counting on that, though, and El doesn't disappoint. Before he can even bring his weapon around in an attack, a [Firebolt] explodes his head and fries his slime-brain.
In another tiny pocket of space between the thrill of battle, I see a slime-minotaur racing toward a wounded adventurer. A warcry tears out of my throat as I charge after him. In seconds, I catch up to the minotaur and carve halfway through his left leg, but not before he buries his axe in the wounded adventurer's stomach. I roll through the slime's legs and pop upright, my shield held up to deflect the slime's killing blow.
The blow hits me like a mini-rampage, the force of it driving me down to one knee. The minotaur doesn't escape unscathed, though, as his axe shatters into a spray of blood. I force myself back to my feet and prepare to attack, but before I can, a shout of '[Second Wind]' is followed by the wounded adventurer burying his axe haft deep in the minotaur's stomach. He pulls his weapon free, and I move over to join him. Together, we spend a few moments turning the slime into a puddle of gore and blood.
"Thanks, kid, I owe ya one." The adventurer grins a bearded grin at me and then races off to fight another slime-monster.
I prepare to do the same, only to stop dead at a shout of 'Ciel!' That was El! My eyes frantically scan the battlefield, and I see her retreating from a pair of goblin-slimes. Her robes are torn, and her fingers sparking with flaming embers. Oh no! I'd left my teammate alone, and now I was too far to-
My mind shatters into fractal patterns and returns quicker than it ever had before. Time slows around me.
I would only have one chance, but that was fine. I was going to be a [Hero], and [Heroes] never missed when it counted.
I look down at my shield and bid it farewell, then I tap into my [Enhanced Strength], knowing it would be hours before it comes back. My grip shifts on my shield as I grab onto the side of it like it's a discus. My torso twists as I wind up, and with a bellowing warcry, I launch my shield. The instant my shield leaves my outstretched fingers, time snaps back to its normal speed.
I hold my breath, an unpleasant fluttery-ness beating its wings in my stomach as my shield hurtles through the air. Only to sigh explosively as my shield scythes through the pair of goblin-slimes chasing my teammate. She was safe.
I turn to a slime-goblin creeping up on me and lift my sword, or at least try to. It's a lot heavier than I remember. That doesn't stop me from bashing my hilt into its head and stomping on it until it's a puddle, but it does leave me more winded than I should be.
Without my shield, I felt different. Incomplete. It was as though my path to becoming a [Hero] had faded into a gray fog. A fog that transforms the battle raging around me into a dull and monotonous affair. A fog so thick that I could barely register what was happening. I could feel my sword swing through jelly-bodies. I could feel my arm ache. I could even feel my [Thick Skin] as it shreds in a dozen places, the victim of slime-forged barbs and claws.
The battlefield is awash with sprays of mana and the screams of the dying. I don't pay attention to any of it, though. It's as much as I can do to keep lifting my sword and cutting through opponents. Everything hurts. My arms feel like lead weights. My legs wobble like the slime-monsters I cut through.
I haven't seen or heard El or Markus in an eternity, but I can't bring myself to care. The fog wrapped around me is too strong. I barely see the world in front of me as I slip and slide and stumble from fight to fight. I register neither the hoarse thanks of those I manage to help nor the vacant-eyed stares of those I don't. I can't even find a mote of relief within me that none of those vacant stares belong to my teammates.
Listless exhaustion threatens to overwhelm me, but I can't let myself quit. If I quit now, I knew I would never become a [Hero].
"Regroup!"
The guildmaster's voice cuts through the muffled bits of my mind, and I look up at the empty battlefield surrounding me. The army of slime-monsters has been broken. Or, rather the first army had been.
I look up at a second army full of monsters that look much more dangerous than goblins and minotaurs we'd just defeated. Six-legged lizards prowl the space between shambling masses of plant-shapes while weird beasts covered in hooks and blades intermix with a chimeric combination of snake and human.
Towering above them all, its wings spread wide enough to block out the sun, was a dragon.
Oooh. That might be a bit much to fight.
We regroup in a much smaller circle than the first time around. Neither the cat-girl nor the red-haired man are standing next to me. I don't quite have the energy to check whether they're dead or somewhere else. To my right is the bearded man I'd saved earlier, and I feel a distant sort of relief at seeing El and Markus standing to my left.
The bearded adventurer looks over at me, and I realize that while he's the same height as I am, he's maybe three times as wide. "Never got the chance to thank ya properly, kid. Name's Fodrin of Clan Mournestone. Ya ever find yer way up the Jhoral Mountains, tell 'em know that I sent ya, and they'll treat ya right."
El scoffs and looks down from on high at us, "We've got to get out of this first, and I don't think any of us has anything for a fucking dragon."
"Can't go wrong bashing 'em in the knees." The dwarf—Was he actually a dwarf? Have I really never met a dwarf before—smirks proudly, and I nod in distant agreement. Hitting the slime monsters in the legs had worked for me all day.
"Tch," my partner scoffs and mutters something like 'now there's two of them' before pulling my shield off her back and dropping it in front of me. "You owe me for carrying that around the last half-hour. I take payment in rare books, manastones, and silence."
As I pick up the shield and slip my arm through the straps, my exhaustion starts to fade away as if it had never existed. No longer was I one of those weirdo [Duelists] who walked about with a single sword and poked people. I was, as I should always be, the tank that got mauled, so my teammates didn't.
It felt like I was whole again. A soon-to-be [Hero] walking the path of the [Paladin].
"Thanks, El! I'll have to find a manastone then." After all, my partner liked really boring books, and I certainly wasn't going to be quiet.
"Now that's a look," The dwarf's face crinkles up as he smirks into his beard. "Got more fight in ya than any ten of these tall-folk."
"That's right. Short people have to stick together." I raise my shield meaningfully, and after a moment, he bangs it with his hammer.
It's too bad he looked like a tank, too, or I'd have found my fourth teammate. Still, he said I saved his life and even mentioned a dwarven clan. If that wasn't a plot hook for an almost a [Hero] to receive an ancient dwarven relic, then I didn't know what was.
I open my mouth to thank him for his future generosity, only to be slammed down into the dirt by an explosion of mana and aura. "For the murder you have so cavalierly committed, I have been chosen to deliver unto you a punishment every bit the equal of your crime."
The pressure bearing down on me lifts just enough that I can look up at the source of that booming, mellifluous voice. My jaw drops as a radiant figure in a long, flowing dress descends from the sky. That's Ashe! A tired grin splits my face. I knew these blood-monsters were hers.
"Every last one of you will die, slowly and in agonizing pain. When your frail bodies can no longer withstand the torture you all so richly deserve, I will use your blood to craft an army the likes of which this world has never seen. It will be the wave that scours this forsaken continent of all life."
What was she doing here? She was normally on the other side of the world, busy with that floating city of hers.
I lift a weary and battered arm to wave at her, only to stop. I was an adventurer now. Surely, it wasn't appropriate for an adventurer to run out and greet her [Calamity] sister—even if I hadn't seen her in what felt like forever. Our relationship was definitely something I should keep secret just like I keep my own [Calamity]ness a secret.
Except, what kind of sister would I be to ignore Ashe when she's brought an army of [Bloodforged] to destroy Reitzland? A horrible one, my genius mind answers almost instantly.
A sour feeling burbles within me as I feel caught between two extremes. If I ran out to greet her, that would mean showing everyone I was really a [Calamity] in disguise, which would surely be the end of my dream of being a [Hero]. Yet, what if she found out I was ignoring her and told the rest of our sisters, and they decided to ignore me in return?
I shake my head frantically, trying to banish a thought almost too terrible for words.
A shaky hand settles on my shoulder, and I look over at my partner's pale face. She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. She licks her lips and tries again, managing to croak out something that sounded like 'it will be ok.'
No, it wouldn't! I could barely resist the urge to shout at her. If I charged out there as an adventurer, I'd make my sister sad, but if I ran out to greet her, I'd make my partners sad. How could I do that to either of them? I was stuck. I didn't know what to do.
I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns, only to almost collapse in despair as it reformed. Even my genius couldn't answer the questions that scraped at the soft underbelly of my mind with their barbed claws.
What am I supposed to do?
Was my dream to become a [Hero] really this fragile all along?
Was this what I deserved by trying to become something more than just a [Calamity]?
A single one rang louder than all the others, though. It wailed in the emptiness of my mind.
Would whoever I ended up disappointing ever forgive me?
Invisible walls crash down on me, squeezing my chest and boxing me in like my chrysalis once had. My breath quickens as the faces of my favorite people flash through my head: my partners, the nice guildmaster, the old lady who'd given me my scarf, the pudgy chef who bakes tasty bread, the dwarven adventurer. When my sister decided to end her game, she would drown the city in blood—they would die.
My heart starts to pound so loudly in my ears that it drowns out the sound of everything else. A pressure builds in my chest and burns at my eyes. It felt like I wanted to cry, even though I wasn't sad.
On any other day, I would have been thrilled by the newness of it all, but today, I didn't have an ounce of attention to spare. Instead, my body shudders, and my mind creaks with the effort of keeping my emotions bottled up within me until-
"NO! I REFUSE!" I explode, the thunderous volume of my voice startling me as it echoes in the stillness following my sister's proclamation.
Before I could quite realize what was happening, I had left the line of guards and adventurers behind me. With shield and sword raised, I sprint as fast as my smaller form can carry me. To what end, I don't know.
That doesn't stop me, though. Neither does the panicked shouting from El or the high-pitched chirps from Markus. It's a simple thought that launches me forward faster and faster until it feels like my feet aren't even touching the ground: when I finally saw my sister, I'd know what to say.
Row upon row of [Bloodforged] blur past me as I sprint toward the very heart of the army. To the place where Ashe had landed. When the last line of [Bloodforged] parts in front of me to reveal an infinitely familiar face smiling gently down at me, I…
[] "Hi, sis!" my sword and shield fall to the side as I collide with my sister's hip and wrap her in a bone-crushing hug.
[] "Halt, evildoer!" I raise my sword and shield and prepare for the most difficult fight of my life.
[AN]
Poor Ciel's having a day. I won't spoil the outcome, but I will say that both choices are equally valid as far as the story goes.
"Wait, what? That doesn't sound like what you said." I frown; my memory is impeccable. I knew she hadn't said a word about any sort of boss.
"That's the deal, Ciel. Take it or leave it." Markus joins his stare to El's. It feels like I'm being attacked but with disapproval rather than swords and spells. Their disapproval is unnecessary, though.
I sigh deeply, forlornly, and look longingly at the swirl of mana El said was the entrance to a brand new dungeon. I couldn't believe what I was about to say. "We should go back and let the guild know it's here."
"Though if we do run across-" El's haranguing cuts off abruptly, and she stares at me with disbelief. "You, what?"
"Yeah, we should be…" ugh, it was hard to even say the word, "responsible."
My partner leans forward to put her hand on my forehead. "Are you ok? Did you hit your head harder than it looked?"
I shake my head carefully so her hand is closer to a head pat, but it doesn't help. "I'm fine."
El leans back, and Markus takes her place by patting a furry paw against my cheek. I keep the frown in my heart off my face; it seemed like I was worrying my teammates—that wasn't [Hero] behavior at all.
I force myself to smile. As I feel it flow over my face, my perfect memory pokes me, and I spring to my feet. I rush over to my shield and slide my arms through the straps.
"I leveled up. I'm a level 2 [Fighter] now," I bask in the awed stares of my teammates for a moment before continuing. "And I got a new skill. Watch."
I raise my shield and angle it perfectly to deflect a swiping bear attack. If I'd had [Basic Shield Proficiency] before that fight, I'd have shield-bashed that fire-bear right in his furry wrist instead of getting swatted into a tree.
"What are we supposed to be watching?"
"It's my new and improved shield skill."
El raises a golden eyebrow in a way that I was sure was mocking. I turn to Markus for support, but his furry head is firmly planted in his furry paws. Well, forget about them; I think it's cool.
I make a few more shield moves, to the amazement of my teammates, before returning it to my back. "So, what about you two?"
Markus raises a pair of furry fingers—or are they toes?—and shakes his head. Well, a level 2 [Rogue] wasn't bad at all. I turn to El, but she just sighs.
"You should keep your skills and levels secret, Ciel. The surprise can make all the difference."
It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. Why would I need a surprise against my teammates? I open my mouth to ask the question, but before I can, El sighs and mutters something like, 'That look's just not fair' before continuing.
"I didn't level today, but I'm a level 7 [Mage]."
Wow, I was lucky to find such a powerful [Mage] as my first teammate. If I kept this up, I'd be a [Hero] in no time. In fact, I was so pleased that I let her lack of answer about her skills go for now.
"So why didn't you want to go into a dungeon? I've never been in one before."
This wasn't even a [Calamity] secret. I'd never actually been inside a dungeon before. Not for lack of trying, though. My larger form was just too big to fit inside. That wasn't a problem now, but it seemed I'd traded it for another—overly concerned teammates.
"Dungeons are dangerous, Ciel. Unexplored ones even more so."
"Why?" I frown, feeling somehow insulted. That didn't make any sense. A wandering [Calamity] was dangerous. What did a hole in the ground have on that?
"Dungeons are… to call them sentient would be saying too much, but they have a certain base cunning." I roll my eyes at that. How was a dumb hole a threat? El reaches forward and flicks my forehead before continuing. "That's not the issue, though. The issue is that they grow by killing adventurers."
So did [Calamities], but I didn't hear my teammate singing our praises. Well, maybe if she knew her leader was a [Calamity] in disguise, she might change her mind. Unfortunately, it was way too soon for that kind of revelation.
"New things are unpredictable, and we don't exactly have the skills to navigate a dungeon safely." Markus chirps softly at that, and El looks at him with a wry smirk. "For traps, yes, but we really need another teammate to help round out our party."
I nod at that. Every [Hero]'s party I'd read about had at least four members. Some had as many as eight, but I didn't want to lead that many people. How would I be able to prove my [Hero] potential if we had enough adventurers for a whole second team?
"We can't just pick anyone, though."
A slow smirk unfolds on my partner's face. "Indeed, we need someone who can put up with your you-ness."
"What's that-" I was a [Calamity] and a soon-to-be [Hero] who wouldn't like me?
"Chirp."
My furry friend chips in his traitorous opinion, and my face falls in disappointment. "Not fair. Stop ganging up on me."
El's smirk widens, and she opens her mouth to respond, only to be cut off as I push her to the side with an [Enhanced Strength] shove. Her annoyed look vanishes as she watches an arrow of some crimson liquid knifing through the space where her head was a moment ago. I don't have time to respond, though, because my shield and sword are in my hands as I race to meet a blob of congealed blood as it oozes into our clearing.
It wiggles menacingly, but before it can shift out of its slime form and into something more dangerous, my shield bashes it in its slowly transforming face. My sword flicks out a moment later and cuts the blob in half. Turning around, I raise my sword victoriously, only to put it back down as the splashes of blood begin to reform into a singular whole.
Well, if that didn't work, I could always bash it harder. I step forward, ready to show the weird blood-slime exactly what my new [Basic Shield Proficiency] could do, only to dive to the side at a shout of '[Firebolt].'
Blood burns and sizzles as the spell carves a hole in the slime. Before it can do more than jiggle in distress, my shield falls on it, and the slime explodes with a splash of rancid blood. This time, I wait until I'm sure it won't reform before raising my sword victoriously.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's…" I pause for a moment. It looked like a [Lesser Bloodforged], a golem-something-or-other my sister Ashe created with her [Sanguine Ascendance] skill. She couldn't be here, though. She was always too busy with that dumb flying city of hers to play. "I don't know."
"I'll let that ominous pause go for the moment," my partner shoots me a stare that says she's not done with this at all. "I think we need to get back to the city. Now."
"Right-" The rest of my statement is cut off by a titanic roar and an explosion of mana. Huh, that really did sound just like Ashe.
"Onto the cart!" I shout and leap into the passenger seat of El's cart. Markus settles on my shoulder a moment later, my scarf wrapped around his furry body like one of those sneaky Ryuujin fighters.
"It's a Tollheim." My partner scowls at me, but she moves quickly to the driver's seat of her cart.
"Alright! Let's go!" If I were in my larger form, my shout would have exploded the trees around us. Unfortunately, all I could offer in this small form was a high-pitched, squeaky noise.
"Someone better pay for these manastones!"
My partner's battlecry is even less impressive than my squeaky one, but since hers is accompanied by the cart shooting off between the trees at a speed that whips my hair against my face, I decided to let it go.
"Incoming!" I shout before leaping off the careening cart.
I ignore a groan of 'Ciel' as I soar through the air and move my shield from its place on my arm to underneath my feet. Moments later, I land with the wet splash of an exploding blood-slime. I skid for a few feet on my shield and swing my sword to bisect another blood-slime before losing my balance and tumbling into a graceful heap.
I spring upright to the sound of a [Firebolt] sizzling through rancid blood and turn toward the old man I'd just rescued. "One moment, mister. Your rescue's almost done."
With that, I sprint toward the nearest slime-monster, leaving an open mouth and an incredulous stare in my wake.
My shield swings low in front of me—I'd learned after the first few encounters with the probably [Bloodforged] that it was even more effective than my sword—and I crash through another slime.
The grin on my face widens as I hear Markus chirp softly as he leads my newest fan to safety, but I can't spare the time to bask in the joy of acting like a [Hero]. The blood-slimes were wiggling in a way that I had learned meant they were about to combine into something much larger. Which was a really unfair thing to do—defeated monsters should stay defeated.
Well, my team and I could be unfair, too.
"El!" I shout at my partner as I swing the pommel of my sword down into a jiggly mass of blood and mana. "Burn it!"
"Easy for you to say!"
The shout was interspersed with the kind of panting that probably meant my partner was running low on mana, but that wasn't something we could worry about now. Not if we wanted to keep the civilians we'd rescued un-exsanguinated. Still, despite her exhaustion, my partner flings fire at the congealing mass in front of me. An instant later, my blade carves a divot through gelid, flaming slime and comes back with a burning ember on the end of it.
I grin as a brilliant idea occurs to me. "Hey, El! Set my sword on fire!"
"That's a whole different spell, you little shit!" I step to the side as a ball of fire sears through the opening I'd made in my opponent's jelly.
"Boo!" I angle my shield and use it more like a shovel than anything to rip rotten blood from the combo-jelly.
"No! Boo you!" Another sputter of fire shoots out from my partner's perch on the cart, and I grin as the monster collapses into dead-for-the-moment goo.
"Hey, mister. You still alive?" I call out to the man staring at my team with a dumbfounded look on his face.
"I- what- who are-."
"We're an adventuring group. The Little Calamities." I grin and raise my sword in a victorious pose. I'd spent the last three rescues trying to think up the perfect team name, and I'd finally come across it.
"We are not calling ourselves that!" My teammate throws a wet blanket on top of my enthusiasm.
"I- umm-."
"Hop in the second cart, mister, and we'll get you to safety."
I point at a merchant's wagon tied to the back of our cart filled with the other civilians we'd rescued.
"This has to be the last one, Ciel. We don't have space for anyone else. We have to get the ones we have to safety."
"Aww. Ok."
The land around Reitzland didn't look like it had when I'd slept outside a few nights back. Great divots had been torn into the earth and were leaking wisps of corrosive mana. Bodies and dismembered limbs were strewn in almost artful decoration amidst the wreckage of battle.
Smushed against one of the raised bridges that led into the city was a ragged line of men and women in gore-stained armor.
"El!" I shout over my shoulder. "Over there!"
"I see it!"
Her shout is accompanied by our cart tilting up onto two wheels as it turns almost perpendicular and starts to pick up speed until it feels like we're flying. I grab a handful of the railing to keep myself from falling off, and Markus latches his furry paws into my hair.
"Woohoo!"
We careen toward a squad of blood-slimes, and I stretch out over the side of the cart and angle my shield exactly the way [Basic Shield Proficiency] tells me. A moment later, I shout gleefully as my shield scythes through a blood-slime minotaur.
My face is split open in a grin, and my hair whips back against my neck as I lean out even further to prepare for my next strike. I hear Markus's alarmed chirp as he scampers down my side, but I can't pull back now. Not when there were so many targets to choose from.
Our cart wheels around a shallow crater and straight over a pair of goblin-slimes. I wait a moment for the wheels on my side to drop back down and then another moment for the angle to be just right before I flick out with the flat of my blade and bisect the hobgoblin-slime leading them.
"Woo-ack!" My shout is cut off as I'm dragged bodily back into the cart, and I look up to see El glaring down at me.
"Stop fucking around, Ciel! We've got to break through that to get these people to safety."
My partner sounds far less excited than I do, but when I turn to look at what she's pointing, I understand why. Hundreds of slime-monsters led by a single giant-slime threatened to overrun the makeshift fortification.
"Got it!" I can barely hear myself over the howling wind and the screaming of civilians. "You drive, I'll swing!"
"Ciel, what!?!"
I ignore the shouted question and clamber to the front of the cart—the cart's wheels weren't bad at smushing the slimes, but if we were going to do this right, we needed something sharper. After this was over, I'd see if we could add some spikes or blades, but for now, a soon-to-be [Hero] would have to do.
I lie on my stomach and wrap my legs around the guard rails. Then, I extend as far forward as possible without falling off. I hold out my shield in one arm, angled to shovel pieces out of any slime that got close enough. In the other, my sword is prepared to cut through anything my shield-shovel misses. I take a moment to brace myself at the sight of the ground racing past beneath me, and then it's time.
The world around me blurs into a rain of rancid blood and ooze as my sword and shield lash out ceaselessly. Goblin-slimes splatter left and right, torn apart by my sword and shield or reduced to bubbling puddles of noxious fumes. In moments, gore stains my face and drips in fat clumps down my hair.
I've never felt so alive.
Then our cart turns toward the lead slime, and I scream the loudest battle cry my tiny lungs can offer as we charge toward the hill-giant-slime. As we speed closer, I line up for a strike that would cut off one of its jelly-legs, but instead of shoveling out gore and ooze, my shield bounces off a thick knot of slime-muscle with enough force to send me flying.
My battlecry turns to a gleeful shout—I'd never learned how to fly on my own—as my body arcs up and over El and Markus huddled beside each other in the driver's seat. Far too quickly, my flying turns to falling, and I stretch out with my shield arm to grab the lip of the back of the cart before it leaves me behind in the dust.
My fingers manage to clamp down on a fancy bit of gilt and carving. For a second, I just dangle there, holding on with all the [Enhanced Strength] my body has to offer while my feet bounce against the ground.
As we pull free of the last line of slime-monsters and into a hastily opened gap in the line of defenders, wooden tires slide into ground churned into mud and muck by all the fighting. The cart shudders to an abrupt stop, and my torso slams against the rear end of the cart. I fall bonelessly to the ground.
A loud groan echoes through my bruised ribs. "Oof."
"Get the civilians to the interior and get these adventurers some potions." I hear a familiar voice through the haze of pain and breathlessness engulfing me. It was the nice guildmaster—Alis.
"Still alive, huh, Ciel?" A calloused hand pulls me effortlessly from my resting place on the wet, gory mud and sets me lightly on the ground.
"Hi, guildmaster." I grin dizzily, leaning into the steadying hand on my shoulder for support. "We managed to find the cause of the animal aggression. There's a new dungeon out that way."
I wave my hand in the general direction that we came from. At least, I think it was the way we came. I was a bit preoccupied on the trip back, to say for sure.
"Heh. You can tell me all about it later." the guildmaster smirks tiredly. "After we deal with whatever this is."
I nod in agreement but keep my mouth shut. I couldn't say that it was my sister. Not if I wanted to keep my [Calamity] secrets secret. Besides that, if no one had recognized the signature skill of a [Calamity], I wasn't sure telling them would even help all that much.
"The Council has the Mages Guild sending out [Messages], but nothing's come back so far. At least not that they're sharing with the grunts on the ground."
I nod. It was strange. Normally, Ashe was a lot more subtle than this—she was the [Calamity of Pride] after all. This was more like something I would have done—without the slime-monsters, of course.
"Here," she tosses a towel at me. "Take a minute to clean off. I'll need every hand that can hold a weapon or cast a spell on the line with me."
Minutes later, I wasn't exactly clean, but at least I was no longer coated in a thick layer of slime-gore, as I waited in a line facing out at the slowly gathering blood-slime horde.
El was behind me, and Markus was perched on my shoulder. A big red-haired man I kind of recognized was to my right, and the cat-eared girl from the guildhouse was on my left. Behind us was the group of civilians that we and some other teams had rescued. And in front of us, at the center of the line, was guildmaster Alis.
The guildmaster's eyes sweep over us, pausing momentarily on Markus and me before continuing. "I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the city is sealed. No one will be going in or out."
The man beside me flinches slightly, and El inhales a muted gasp. A civilian shouts something but is silenced a moment later by a flicker of the Guildmaster's aura.
"The worse news is that we finally got word from the Skyfall Archives. These blood-monsters are associated with an unknown S-rank threat."
"But do not despair…" Some kind of skill tickles at the edges of my thoughts, but can't find purchase.
I don't pay any mind to that or the Guildmaster's probably rousing speech. I had a far larger concern: how was this the work of an unknown threat? A [Calamity] was a world-renowned monster capable of destroying cities and armies and fleets. We were the terrors of the six continents. Where we rampaged, devastation followed.
I was almost certain these slime-monsters were Ashe's [Bloodforged]. And if I was right, Reitzland was being visited by not one, but two [Calamities]—well, one was in disguise, but still. How could a city the size of Reitzland not recognize a [Calamity]? Unless…
My frown deepens. Was my sister really not at all famous in Dynegard? Did that mean people on the other continents didn't know about the [Calamity of Gluttony]? I could almost feel myself wilting. Have I really been that unimpressive a [Calamity]?
The guildmaster's speech that I'd been ignoring ends with a rousing shout, one that's echoed by the adventurers surrounding me. Despite feeling inadequate and not at all like shouting, I do it anyway.
The gathered slime-army responds to our battle cry with a burbly one of its own, and then they charge.
As the wave of rancid blood rushes across the field, I turn to look at Markus, "Stay safe."
He nods his furry head—he'd left my scarf with one of the civilians we'd rescued for safekeeping. I turn around to look at my other teammate and repeat the same words with the same grin.
"I should be saying that to you, you idiot."
I grin and feel my earlier disappointment fade away like an army hit by [Annihilation]. I'd found a great pair of teammates—the best—and we were about to defend a city against a horde of monsters. What could possibly be better than this?
At twenty paces, our guildmaster raises her sword high overhead and brings it down in a sweeping motion. The air lights up with mana and arrows. [Firebolts] and [Cutting Wind] and [Water Cannons] fall amidst the enemy ranks and tear holes in their cascading charge. The second barrage is much less impressive, though, as only a few of the quicker adventurers launch a second arrow or fire off a second spell before the wave crashes upon us.
I dig my feet into the gory mud and brace for the charge as a goblin-slime slams face-first into me. Thanks to my [Enhanced Strength] and my [Basic Shield Proficiency], I deflect the force of the slime's attack to the side, where the red-haired man turns it into a splash of rotten blood with a strike of his hammer.
I bat away another goblin-slime and use my sword like a spoon to scoop out his slime-brain. El shouts to duck. The cat-girl and the redhead both drop, but I'm short enough that I don't have to do anything to avoid the fan of flame that sprays out over us.
Into the gap opened by my teammate's attack, I sprint forward and slam my shield down on a burnt, crippled-looking goblin-slime. Markus jumps off my shoulder and chomps into the archer's slime-neck while I spin to one side to block a slime arrow with my shield. My sword flicks out as he leaps onto another goblin-slime to continue his attack, and I finish the decapitation he'd started.
There's a deep, bellowed shout to my left an instant before I feel slime-claws scraping against my [Thick Skin]. I roll away before the claws can do anything more than graze me, and as I hop to my feet, I see the redhead turning my attacker into a slimy pulp.
I lift my shield in thanks and then sprint over to where the cat-girl is weaving between the claws and Blades of a trio of goblin-slimes. I crash into the rearmost one and angle my shield to drive him into the ground. My opponent explodes in a splash of blood and gore that is joined a heartbeat later by the splashy remains of the other two slimes.
Cat-girl smirks at me, and as one, we turn toward a hobgoblin-slime lumbering toward us. In unspoken unison, we rush forward to meet him. She strikes high, her fists carving divots out of his slime-chest. I go low, my shield and sword scissoring together to snip right through his slime-leg.
Unbalanced, he falls to one knee. Before he can even begin to reattach his leg, he's engulfed in a blender of fists and swords. Moments later, all that's left is a streak of blood and slime.
I look around at the space our attack had opened, and grin as I see Markus and El have teamed up. He nips at a goblin-slime's hamstring, and she blasts him with fire. That was good teamwork. In fact, our whole impromptu group seems to be doing well enough that there's a little bubble of space around us. So, I cast a quick look around the battlefield.
To the left, our line of guards and adventurers is buckling, but before I can help, Alis shouts '[Blade of the Gargant]' and swings her suddenly massive sword through rank after rank of slimes.
Wow. My heart starts beating faster as I scoop out a goblin-slime's guts with my shield before jumping up and crushing its head beneath my feet. I couldn't wait until I learned something cool like that. Unfortunately, I don't get much time to marvel at the attack before another wave of slime monsters is here.
I grin proudly as I watch Markus dive through the eye of a hobgoblin-slime, and take advantage of its distraction to carve off a slime-filled leg. Before I can follow up with a decapitating strike, the cat-girl pulps its torso with a single punch. A few feet away to my left, the red-haired man destroys a goblin-slime with a [Concussive Strike] while the dark-blue ripple of air his strike creates explodes half a dozen more.
That was so cool. I was surrounded by so many cool people. I shake my head. I couldn't afford to get distracted by the other adventurers. If I did, they'd outperform me, and they might become a [Hero] instead of me. I couldn't let that happen.
A hobgoblin-slime bubbles out a roar and swings his slime-axe down at me. I just grin and dart between his legs like I had with that fire-bear. As I break free on the other side, I shovel a huge chunk out of his slime-spine. He burbles out another roar as he spins around to face me. I'd been counting on that, though, and El doesn't disappoint. Before he can even bring his weapon around in an attack, a [Firebolt] explodes his head and fries his slime-brain.
In another tiny pocket of space between the thrill of battle, I see a slime-minotaur racing toward a wounded adventurer. A warcry tears out of my throat as I charge after him. In seconds, I catch up to the minotaur and carve halfway through his left leg, but not before he buries his axe in the wounded adventurer's stomach. I roll through the slime's legs and pop upright, my shield held up to deflect the slime's killing blow.
The blow hits me like a mini-rampage, the force of it driving me down to one knee. The minotaur doesn't escape unscathed, though, as his axe shatters into a spray of blood. I force myself back to my feet and prepare to attack, but before I can, a shout of '[Second Wind]' is followed by the wounded adventurer burying his axe haft deep in the minotaur's stomach. He pulls his weapon free, and I move over to join him. Together, we spend a few moments turning the slime into a puddle of gore and blood.
"Thanks, kid, I owe ya one." The adventurer grins a bearded grin at me and then races off to fight another slime-monster.
I prepare to do the same, only to stop dead at a shout of 'Ciel!' That was El! My eyes frantically scan the battlefield, and I see her retreating from a pair of goblin-slimes. Her robes are torn, and her fingers sparking with flaming embers. Oh no! I'd left my teammate alone, and now I was too far to-
My mind shatters into fractal patterns and returns quicker than it ever had before. Time slows around me.
I would only have one chance, but that was fine. I was going to be a [Hero], and [Heroes] never missed when it counted.
I look down at my shield and bid it farewell, then I tap into my [Enhanced Strength], knowing it would be hours before it comes back. My grip shifts on my shield as I grab onto the side of it like it's a discus. My torso twists as I wind up, and with a bellowing warcry, I launch my shield. The instant my shield leaves my outstretched fingers, time snaps back to its normal speed.
I hold my breath, an unpleasant fluttery-ness beating its wings in my stomach as my shield hurtles through the air. Only to sigh explosively as my shield scythes through the pair of goblin-slimes chasing my teammate. She was safe.
I turn to a slime-goblin creeping up on me and lift my sword, or at least try to. It's a lot heavier than I remember. That doesn't stop me from bashing my hilt into its head and stomping on it until it's a puddle, but it does leave me more winded than I should be.
Without my shield, I felt different. Incomplete. It was as though my path to becoming a [Hero] had faded into a gray fog. A fog that transforms the battle raging around me into a dull and monotonous affair. A fog so thick that I could barely register what was happening. I could feel my sword swing through jelly-bodies. I could feel my arm ache. I could even feel my [Thick Skin] as it shreds in a dozen places, the victim of slime-forged barbs and claws.
The battlefield is awash with sprays of mana and the screams of the dying. I don't pay attention to any of it, though. It's as much as I can do to keep lifting my sword and cutting through opponents. Everything hurts. My arms feel like lead weights. My legs wobble like the slime-monsters I cut through.
I haven't seen or heard El or Markus in an eternity, but I can't bring myself to care. The fog wrapped around me is too strong. I barely see the world in front of me as I slip and slide and stumble from fight to fight. I register neither the hoarse thanks of those I manage to help nor the vacant-eyed stares of those I don't. I can't even find a mote of relief within me that none of those vacant stares belong to my teammates.
Listless exhaustion threatens to overwhelm me, but I can't let myself quit. If I quit now, I knew I would never become a [Hero].
"Regroup!"
The guildmaster's voice cuts through the muffled bits of my mind, and I look up at the empty battlefield surrounding me. The army of slime-monsters has been broken. Or, rather the first army had been.
I look up at a second army full of monsters that look much more dangerous than goblins and minotaurs we'd just defeated. Six-legged lizards prowl the space between shambling masses of plant-shapes while weird beasts covered in hooks and blades intermix with a chimeric combination of snake and human.
Towering above them all, its wings spread wide enough to block out the sun, was a dragon.
Oooh. That might be a bit much to fight.
We regroup in a much smaller circle than the first time around. Neither the cat-girl nor the red-haired man are standing next to me. I don't quite have the energy to check whether they're dead or somewhere else. To my right is the bearded man I'd saved earlier, and I feel a distant sort of relief at seeing El and Markus standing to my left.
The bearded adventurer looks over at me, and I realize that while he's the same height as I am, he's maybe three times as wide. "Never got the chance to thank ya properly, kid. Name's Fodrin of Clan Mournestone. Ya ever find yer way up the Jhoral Mountains, tell 'em know that I sent ya, and they'll treat ya right."
El scoffs and looks down from on high at us, "We've got to get out of this first, and I don't think any of us has anything for a fucking dragon."
"Can't go wrong bashing 'em in the knees." The dwarf—Was he actually a dwarf? Have I really never met a dwarf before—smirks proudly, and I nod in distant agreement. Hitting the slime monsters in the legs had worked for me all day.
"Tch," my partner scoffs and mutters something like 'now there's two of them' before pulling my shield off her back and dropping it in front of me. "You owe me for carrying that around the last half-hour. I take payment in rare books, manastones, and silence."
As I pick up the shield and slip my arm through the straps, my exhaustion starts to fade away as if it had never existed. No longer was I one of those weirdo [Duelists] who walked about with a single sword and poked people. I was, as I should always be, the tank that got mauled, so my teammates didn't.
It felt like I was whole again. A soon-to-be [Hero] walking the path of the [Paladin].
"Thanks, El! I'll have to find a manastone then." After all, my partner liked really boring books, and I certainly wasn't going to be quiet.
"Now that's a look," The dwarf's face crinkles up as he smirks into his beard. "Got more fight in ya than any ten of these tall-folk."
"That's right. Short people have to stick together." I raise my shield meaningfully, and after a moment, he bangs it with his hammer.
It's too bad he looked like a tank, too, or I'd have found my fourth teammate. Still, he said I saved his life and even mentioned a dwarven clan. If that wasn't a plot hook for an almost a [Hero] to receive an ancient dwarven relic, then I didn't know what was.
I open my mouth to thank him for his future generosity, only to be slammed down into the dirt by an explosion of mana and aura. "For the murder you have so cavalierly committed, I have been chosen to deliver unto you a punishment every bit the equal of your crime."
The pressure bearing down on me lifts just enough that I can look up at the source of that booming, mellifluous voice. My jaw drops as a radiant figure in a long, flowing dress descends from the sky. That's Ashe! A tired grin splits my face. I knew these blood-monsters were hers.
"Every last one of you will die, slowly and in agonizing pain. When your frail bodies can no longer withstand the torture you all so richly deserve, I will use your blood to craft an army the likes of which this world has never seen. It will be the wave that scours this forsaken continent of all life."
What was she doing here? She was normally on the other side of the world, busy with that floating city of hers.
I lift a weary and battered arm to wave at her, only to stop. I was an adventurer now. Surely, it wasn't appropriate for an adventurer to run out and greet her [Calamity] sister—even if I hadn't seen her in what felt like forever. Our relationship was definitely something I should keep secret just like I keep my own [Calamity]ness a secret.
Except, what kind of sister would I be to ignore Ashe when she's brought an army of [Bloodforged] to destroy Reitzland? A horrible one, my genius mind answers almost instantly.
A sour feeling burbles within me as I feel caught between two extremes. If I ran out to greet her, that would mean showing everyone I was really a [Calamity] in disguise, which would surely be the end of my dream of being a [Hero]. Yet, what if she found out I was ignoring her and told the rest of our sisters, and they decided to ignore me in return?
I shake my head frantically, trying to banish a thought almost too terrible for words.
A shaky hand settles on my shoulder, and I look over at my partner's pale face. She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. She licks her lips and tries again, managing to croak out something that sounded like 'it will be ok.'
No, it wouldn't! I could barely resist the urge to shout at her. If I charged out there as an adventurer, I'd make my sister sad, but if I ran out to greet her, I'd make my partners sad. How could I do that to either of them? I was stuck. I didn't know what to do.
I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns, only to almost collapse in despair as it reformed. Even my genius couldn't answer the questions that scraped at the soft underbelly of my mind with their barbed claws.
What am I supposed to do?
Was my dream to become a [Hero] really this fragile all along?
Was this what I deserved by trying to become something more than just a [Calamity]?
A single one rang louder than all the others, though. It wailed in the emptiness of my mind.
Would whoever I ended up disappointing ever forgive me?
Invisible walls crash down on me, squeezing my chest and boxing me in like my chrysalis once had. My breath quickens as the faces of my favorite people flash through my head: my partners, the nice guildmaster, the old lady who'd given me my scarf, the pudgy chef who bakes tasty bread, the dwarven adventurer. When my sister decided to end her game, she would drown the city in blood—they would die.
My heart starts to pound so loudly in my ears that it drowns out the sound of everything else. A pressure builds in my chest and burns at my eyes. It felt like I wanted to cry, even though I wasn't sad.
On any other day, I would have been thrilled by the newness of it all, but today, I didn't have an ounce of attention to spare. Instead, my body shudders, and my mind creaks with the effort of keeping my emotions bottled up within me until-
"NO! I REFUSE!" I explode, the thunderous volume of my voice startling me as it echoes in the stillness following my sister's proclamation.
Before I could quite realize what was happening, I had left the line of guards and adventurers behind me. With shield and sword raised, I sprint as fast as my smaller form can carry me. To what end, I don't know.
That doesn't stop me, though. Neither does the panicked shouting from El or the high-pitched chirps from Markus. It's a simple thought that launches me forward faster and faster until it feels like my feet aren't even touching the ground: when I finally saw my sister, I'd know what to say.
Row upon row of [Bloodforged] blur past me as I sprint toward the very heart of the army. To the place where Ashe had landed. When the last line of [Bloodforged] parts in front of me to reveal an infinitely familiar face smiling gently down at me, I…
[] "Hi, sis!" my sword and shield fall to the side as I collide with my sister's hip and wrap her in a bone-crushing hug.
[] "Halt, evildoer!" I raise my sword and shield and prepare for the most difficult fight of my life.
[AN]
Poor Ciel's having a day. I won't spoil the outcome, but I will say that both choices are equally valid as far as the story goes.
In which a Villainess is bullied by her sister
"Halt, evildoer!" I raise my sword and shield and prepare for the most difficult fight of my life.
"Ciel'othor'morg'dal, where have you been, and what in the maddening screams of Dys are you doing?"
My true name gouges crimson lines in reality, and I flinch. My sisters only ever used my full name when I was in deep trouble.
No. Wait. I was a soon-to-be [Hero]. I didn't have to subject myself to the tyranny of my elders. That's right. I would throw off this yoke of oppression and take a stand for bullied younger sisters everywhere.
"I'm an adventurer, here to end your villainous rampage." I brace myself in a defensive stand as I prepare for the inevitable—and violent—response.
"Are you, now?"
The speculative stare Ashe fixes me with makes me want to run to her and assure her that I was still her favorite sister. I couldn't do that, though. I was committed to my role. And only woe would come from the mixing of [Hero] and villain.
That is, unless my sister becomes a recurring villain that I finally defeat in the middle of a flaming caldera or something. Then, she'd be my most trusted and loyal sidekick. Unfortunately, I didn't even have to let my mind shatter to realize that wouldn't happen. Ashe just wasn't the kind of villain that eventually became a [Hero]'s sidekick. She was way too elegant for that—which was only appropriate for someone cool enough to be my sister.
"Yeah!"
"Is that so~?" she almost sing-songs the question.
Before I can respond, a shaping of mana explodes out from around her with a declaration of '[Maddened Sphere of Azathoth].' The sky shatters, and a field of pale silver eyes peer in through the cracks as a gibbering attention is drawn by the spell. For a moment, cause is unbounded from effect, space twists and warps, and a blood-red film covers my eyes, then a sense of stygian amusement wafts through the air, and the presence withdraws.
With his blessing received, existence tolls like a struck gong as the Tier 10 spell reaches its apex. A moment later, a cataclysm of mana scrapes jagged barbs upon this plane of existence as walls of madness wrought from the glow of dying stars shimmer into existence around us.
Despite my genius mind being almost totally focused on the scolding that was coming my way, I spent a moment worrying about my teammates. Aza's attention was fun in a screaming incoherently and clawing your eyes out sort of way, which would make it a lot harder for El to read her boring books. Markus would still be able to nap on my shoulder, though, so he should probably be just fine.
When the dome of pale starlight finishes forming above us, it unintentionally blocks the sight of our upcoming titanic struggle from view. Ashe turns to me, a brilliant, endlessly proud smile on her face. Despite the weight of our upcoming struggle weighing down on me, I can't help the urge to preen.
"I'm so, so proud of you, Ciel."
It takes a moment for her words to sink in. No one's ever said anything like that to me before. My skin flutters and feels hot. I feel myself grinning so widely that I think my face would split in half if it weren't held together by flaps of skin.
"Really!?!"
"Indeed." My sister flicks her hand, and [Bloodrose] appears in her hands. The whip twitches impatiently as she smiles at me. "I was worried that you would be content to stomp around, playing [Calamity] and hero with your toy cities forever. But this, this is brilliant."
I can barely think past the approval radiating from my sister. Other than becoming a [Hero], this was everything I had ever wanted wrapped up in a single moment, "Is it?"
"It's a plan worthy of Sopharanatoth or Ri'ankor'mal or even me."
My chest felt like a cup that had been filled past the brim, and liquid was spilling out over the sides. I never wanted this moment to end. "It is?"
"Yes." My sister nods in a way that says I shouldn't question her judgment anymore. "Deciding to seal away your [Calamity] skills so you can infiltrate the adventurers guild and sow discord and chaos from within the structures of mortal existence is ingenious."
Exactly, I would build up their trust in me, and when I was finally allowed access to the wardstones at Skyfall, I could…
My infallible memory pokes me, and the villainous plan dissipates from my mind. That wasn't why I was here. I was here to vanquish ancient evils and become a [Hero]—just like the characters in my books.
"That's not it at all!" I shout out my defiance of my evil sister. "I want to be a [Hero]!"
"A hero?"
My sister looks at me like she doesn't understand the words I'm saying, but that doesn't bother me nearly as much as the way she said 'hero': like it was a hobby people did to pass the time. I had to correct her. I was the expert on [Heroes] here. I'd read hundreds of books about them.
"No. A [Hero]. You know, with the class and a [Sword of Light] and an ultimate attack and-"
The snapping sound of [Bloodrose] decapitating a [Bloodforged] that had wandered too close interrupts me before I can really dig into my rant, and I see my sister frowning at me. "That's… where did you get the idea that… who told you that heroes were a class?"
I don't understand what she was asking. It was like asking me to describe how water was wet. A [Hero] is a class; the sun rises in the west—as simple as that. Still, Ashe was my older sister—and in a six-way tie for my favorite person—so I tried my best to answer her question.
"Well, I started with a book called The [Hero] and the Cat. It's about a girl who finds a sword in the forest and rescues a cat from an evil witch and the cat becomes a girl and they go on an adventure together to defeat an evil dragon and then they make kissy-faces at each other and-"
[Bloodrose] snaps again and then slithers out to wrap around the blood-dragon's neck and starts to squeeze. The blood-bones in its neck start to crack with a delightful popping noise. The dragon starts thrashing—because my sister likes it when things struggle as they die. As it collapses back into blood and slime, Ashe breathes out a noisy exhale and stares at me with an intensity that starts to smolder the air around me.
"Who put the idea of kissing into your mind!?!" Ashe's stare sharpens to a glare, and I can read the promise of painful death in her eyes. "It was that fucking [Lord of Fallen Flame], wasn't it? He will know suffering beyond mortal imagination. He will spend ten thousand mortal lives screaming in agony and another ten thousand begging me to die."
I pause to let my genius mind shatter, only to sigh when it comes back with an answer. It would not, in fact, be [Heroic] to sic my sister on my former overlord. "No. He was just boring and lame. And I always skip past those pages anyway. It's weird and gross."
"That's-" My sister's burning stare reverts to its usual intensity as she sighs in relief. "Just remember, when anyone touches you inappropriately, you should-
"Remove the limb touching me and then all the rest of their limbs just to make sure they can't do it again," I repeat a lecture I'd heard a hundred times from each of my sisters. It was one of their favorite things to do when we were all together. That, and make me leave when Riri started talking about her seductions—whatever that meant.
Ashe looks reassured that I've remembered their lecture—as though my infallible memory would allow anything less. "Right. So, back to the hero thing-"
"[Hero]." I, on the other hand, was starting to worry about her memory because she seemed to have forgotten the proper emphasis.
"There's no such-"
She cuts off whatever she was going to say mid-sentence and looks up to writhing tendrils of starlight above us. I recognized that look; it was the same one I used when I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns. So, instead of telling my sister all about my new teammates and the fire-bear I'd fought, I wait for her to finish.
A moment later, she looks back down from the "You want to be a hero?"
"A [Hero], yes." This was getting worrying. I might have to talk to Soph or Riri to let them know that Ashe may be going senile. She was the oldest one of us, after all.
"Well, I suppose I can leave Luminia on its own for a while," she smirks with vicious amusement. "I'm sure their [Archmages] will have fun trying to unravel the threads of this spell."
I nod in agreement at that. Aza's spells were so twisty and weird they even made my brain hurt a little, and I was a [Calamity] and a genius.
"If you're going to be a hero-"
"A [Hero]."
"Fine, Ciel, a [Hero]." She spits the word out like it pains her, and I breathe an internal sigh of relief. Maybe she wasn't going senile after all. "Then you will need an appropriately epic villain."
"I was going to use the [Lord of Fallen Flame], but I accidentally left his castle as a pile of rubble and killed off all of his minions except not-furry-Markus. So I don't know how good a villain he will be."
I try to keep my excitement under control. My genius mind was poking me about where my sister was going with this, but I didn't want to spoil it. Ashe was the super responsible one, always busy with her floating city. She never had time to play.
"A coward with a crown he refuses to use isn't worth a moment of your attention, Ciel'othor. He isn't a mote of dust compared to the [Calamity of Pride]."
"Really!?!" My eyes feel so bright that it's a wonder they aren't shooting out rays of [Hellfire]. My chest feels like it's about to burst open from the emotions rampaging within it. Instead of being responsible and working on her plots, Ashe was going to play [Hero] and overlord. With me.
"Of course." she smiles fondly. "If little Ciel needs a villain, what choice could be better than her favorite older sister?"
My head bobbles back and forth as I nod fervently. "You can create evil plots and I can gather my teammates to thwart them and then I'll find a super-relic sword and we can have an epic final confrontation where I learn that the true powers of a [Hero] are the friends I made along the way—that and giant hell-beams my super-sword shoots out—and-"
"Indeed," My sister cuts off my rant with a single word and a gleeful smirk. "But for you to be able to do that, we need to first set the stage so that the fools outside don't suspect a thing."
"What do you mean?" Sure, I couldn't reveal my secret heritage so soon, but what would be wrong with letting them know I would be fighting against a [Calamity] who absolutely wasn't secretly-my-sister for the next several arcs?
"Your fellow adventurers will doubtless have questions if you return to them unscathed." Her smirk shifts from glee to something a lot more bloodthirsty as she says that.
My grin widens to match hers. I knew from my books that fighting the main villain in the first arc almost guaranteed a loss, but there was no better way to become a [Hero] than to claw my way back up from that early defeat. "You're on!"
I raise my sword only to blink as I feel a wetness running down my chest. I look down at a rose shaped out of blood embedded just to the right of my fluttery heart. It was really considerate for Ashe to avoid my heart—without my [Calamity] skills, that would be dangerous.
My shield moves seemingly in slow motion to deflect the thorny edge of my sister's whip, but it snakes neatly around my attempted block and shreds through my [Thick Skin] as though it didn't even exist.
"I would say I'm sorry, Ciel." My sister smirks as a spire of blood erupts beneath me and impales my calf, "but I'm not."
"It's fi-urghle." My reply is cut off by blood-red claws tearing out a chunk of my throat. I cough out a spray of blood and try again. "It's fine, sis! Give me your best shot!"
"Oh, I will."
Stars explode in front of my eyes as a wall of pure force crashes into my face. I hear more than feel my nose break and spit out another mouthful of blood as I dizzily try to re-set my shield. I might as well have been trying to block the wind for all the good it did. [Bloodrose] flashes a dozen times and tears a dozen gouges into me.
Something flashes in front of me too quickly to see, and my leg cracks with an unpleasant sound. I topple to the ground, unable to stand. Blood drips into my eyes, and my vision grows dim until all I can see is my sister's boot as she steps up beside me.
Something latches onto my unbroken leg and lifts me into the air, and I think I hear my sister whisper something like, 'You did well, Ciel. Now, it's my turn.'
"I had intended for you all to die screaming, but the valor of this fool child has bought you time."
I feel myself being shaken, and I bravely withhold a pained groan as my bones scrape unpleasantly against things I was certain they shouldn't scrape against. A [Hero] never admitted to pain—which my books made seem a lot easier than it was turning out to be.
"Instead, I will offer you a game."
I scrabble uselessly against the thing holding onto my leg and try to look up through the blood gumming my eyes shut. No. She promised. If I could have spoken through the hole in my lungs—and the hole in my throat, too, I guess—I would have shouted that this wasn't a game.
"I will destroy your pathetic city-states from the inside. My minions will infest your feeble institutions and drag them toward ruin. I will take and turn the best and brightest amongst you, and they will betray you with a smile."
As my sister continued, I realized it was probably for the best that my shout came out as a burble of blood and other fluids.
"You will have one year. One year for the seeds of paranoia to take root within your minds. Until parents no longer trust children and wives no longer trust husbands. And at the end, when mistrust and fear have torn apart all you have built, I will return, and I will drown you all in blood."
Wow.
I was thankful the bones in both my hands and arms were so broken; otherwise, I'd have tried to applaud. That was an amazing villain speech and an even more amazing plan. I would have just rampaged until everything was broken, but this was so much better. Her plots would break their spirit, and then she'd come back to destroy them with her [Bloodforged]. It was no wonder why Ashe was the oldest. She was such an awesome sister.
My genius mind pokes me out of my awe. Right. I was the [Hero] that wouldn't let her get away with her evil plan. I would root out her corruption and put her minions to the sword. And I would start right now.
I wiggle a floppy, broken foot at the strap holding me upright. Take that, sis.
"What's to stop us from killing you right now?" A grating voice forces its way past the blood clogging up my ears.
"You?" I hear the smirk my sister wears right before she does something cool.
"Your life." An agonized shout is cut off a moment later by the sound of flesh and bone exploding. "Any other objections?"
I try and pout, but it hurts too much to move my face over my broken nose, and cheek, and jaw. Ashe never let me watch her boil someone's blood until they pop like a sealed kettle. It wasn't fair.
"Take your fool, and know that she is the only reason any of you yet draw breath." The strap holding my leg vanishes, and I feel myself tumbling through the air.
The air explodes out of my holey lungs and broken ribs as I land in a puddle of mud and gore, which was probably for the best because if I had any breath, I would have screamed at the agony coursing through me. And that wouldn't be very [Hero]-like at all.
I hear reality whimper as a [Hellfire Portal] opens in the sky above me, and if I could have moved, I would have waved goodbye to my sister. The most I could manage, though, was a hoarse exhale through a mouthful of blood.
As the pain from my beating rises to drown me in darkness and unconsciousness, one last thought echoes in the silence of my mind. Bye, sis. You're the best.
[Conditions met - Valiant Warrior Obtained!]
[Fighter consolidates into Valiant Warrior!]
[Valiant Warrior Level 8!]
[Rare Skill - Brave Soul gained!]
[Skill - Kindle Bravery gained!]
My eyes blink open, and I stare up at an unfamiliar ceiling. "Wh-" My voice trails off in a dry hacking cough, and I sink into the sheets surrounding me.
My eyes blink open, and I stare up at an unfamiliar ceiling. "Where?" My voice is a cracked whisper, but at least I can make it through the question. Unfortunately, no one is there to answer the question. I stare up for a minute or two longer before the weights on my eyelids drag them closed.
My eyes blink open, and I stare up at a familiar ceiling. "Where am I?"
"You're awake!" I struggle to turn my head to the voice that sounds an awful lot like El. "Here, don't strain yourself."
El materializes above me and helps me slide up until my back is placed against a pillow and my head is leaning against a cool, wooden headboard. "What happened?"
El scowls at me. She looks tired, as if she hadn't slept in weeks. I wonder why. "You charged a [Calamity], you fucking idiot, and she beat you an inch from death."
"At least she didn't-" my voice trails off with a cough, and a moment later, the edge of a glass cup is placed against my lips.
"Drink slowly, idiot."
El holds the cup up while I drink greedily, and when I free my hands from the sheets trapping them, she wraps them around the cup. After ensuring that I wouldn't spill my drink all over myself, she leans back and lets me drink at my own pace.
I let the empty cup tilt from my fingers and fall down to my lap. I grin. "Thanks, I needed that."
"You need a brain." El's scowl deepens until it's tinged with some strange emotion I can't even begin to identify. "What in the hells made you think charging a [Calamity] was a good idea?"
"It's…" my genius mind muddles through flashes of memories fed to it by my infallible memory, but I stop before I can blurt out the truth. "It seemed like a good idea."
"That's because you're an idiot." Well, that certainly wasn't true. I was a [Calamity], a soon-to-be [Hero], and definitely a genius. But my genius mind was also telling me that arguing with her right now was a bad idea, so I stayed silent. "From now on, you let me-"
"Chirp."
"Markus and I do the thinking for you."
That was an incredibly generous offer. It was always so much easier when I had a rampage target picked out for me. It's why I worked for overlords instead of creating my own plots. Still, I wasn't sure whether I should let my future sidekicks do the thinking for me. On the other hand, [Heroes] letting their super-smart sidekicks make plans was pretty common, so maybe it would work. I'd have to think about it.
"I'm not sure-"
"Nope. Sorry. We held a vote while you were busy almost dying!" El shouts the last two words at me for some reason. "We do the thinking now."
"Chirp."
I frown. [Hero] parties weren't democracies. I knew that much. I also knew that if I ignored my sidekicks too much, they would betray me at a critical, plot-relevant point in time. So, how was I supposed to handle this? I let my mind fracture, but when it reforms, I'm left no closer to a solution. My books were split almost perfectly evenly between what I should do. My frown deepens. Thinking was hard.
"Can I at least be the face of the team?" My voice definitely doesn't take on a plaintive tone as I ask my question. This was a critical point. If I didn't at least seem to be in charge of my party, I'd never become a [Hero].
El reaches out to pinch at my cheek, and I smile as I realize my face isn't fractured anymore. "Since Markus can't talk and I don't like dealing with people, that's all yours."
"Yay." I regret my exclamation when some still healing bit of something or other in my chest pulls unpleasantly. "Oww."
"Here," El reaches somewhere behind her and hands over a pale green potion. "There's shortages of everything after the [Calamity of Pride]'s appearance, but I'll be damned if I let my teammate wait in line for a healing potion like a peasant."
Her tone and words were yet more support for my hypothesis that El was a princess in disguise. Though, I still wasn't quite sure why she seemed so unconcerned about finding allies to regain her throne. I'm sure it would come up eventually. Besides, I could hardly complain about a teammate keeping a secret.
So, instead, I grab the potion in both hands and swallow it down in a single gulp. I feel a warmth settle in my stomach and begin to spread out to my limbs. The pain in my chest starts to fade, and I smile happily. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it." My partner grins at me for a moment before looking away.
My impeccable memory pokes at me and reminds me that I'd woken up several times before this. "How long have I been out?"
"A week," is the almost instantaneous reply. "The guildmaster came by a few days ago to make sure you weren't dead. The Council tried to come in, too. They blathered something about creating an accounting of responsibility, but I told them to fuck off until you woke up."
Was I really that important that people would come to see me while I was asleep? How strange. Still, the idea sparked a faint warmth in my stomach, and I grinned, "Thanks, partner."
"Heh. Well, someone has to keep those vultures away from you."
I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but since El was smiling at me, I figured it couldn't be that bad. Still, I did have a different question, one directly related to the evil plot my sister was currently enacting.
"What happened after m- the [Calamity] left?"
"You mean after she tossed your almost-dead body back to us like a used towel?"
That wasn't quite how I'd put it, but I was in a lot of pain and kind of dizzy from blood loss, so who was I to say? "Yeah, that too."
"It's been a bit of a shit show," a familiar voice calls out, and a second later the guildmaster strolls in. "That spell she cast fucked with a bunch of people—made them go crazy and attack whoever was nearest. We're lucky that it happened during the day, or we'd be dealing with the aftermath of a bunch of parents who went temporarily crazy and murdered their children."
"Guildmaster, how good of you to come in uninvited," El smiles in a way that doesn't look happy at all.
Guildmaster Alis shrugs, "When I heard Ciel here was awake, I came right over."
"Really? What for?" I scoot up on my bed. I didn't want my guildmaster to see me lounging like that—she might think I wasn't fit to be an adventurer.
"You spent the most time around the [Calamity] out of all of us." Her sword-cane taps on the floor as she walks over to me. She waves El out of her chair and sits down beside my bed. Dark green eyes bore down into me with an intensity that kind of reminded me of my sisters. "We're all a bit interested in why she let you live."
"Oh. I-"
I should have expected that this question was coming, but at first, I'd been too busy being amazed at Ashe's plot, and then I'd been terribly injured. I'd also apparently spent a week unconscious, so maybe it was understandable, but still.
"I think she was just amazed at how brave I am." My immaculate memory pokes at me, "I even got a new class from it. [Valiant Warrior]."
"Did you?" The oppressive aura surrounding her disappears, and she smiles. "An impressive class evolution, and you're not even level 10, are you?"
"Level 8," I respond instantly, preening at how impressed my guildmaster was with me.
El sighs and leans down to flick my forehead, "Ciel. Don't tell people your class and levels."
"But-"
"Didn't we just agree that Markus and I would do the thinking?" I stare at her for a moment and even open my mouth to argue, but she just looks at me with a confident smirk.
My eyes fell in defeat. I had just agreed to that. Still, "Yes, but you don't have to say that in front of the guildmaster."
"Heh," the guildmaster's chuckle cuts off whatever response I could see forming on El's face. "I had the same talk with a teammate when I was just starting. It ended up working out pretty well while we were a team. I hit things with my sword and he made plans and drew maps and wrote notes about things."
"Why'd you split apart?"
"You shouldn't pry into other people's past, idiot. What if something bad had happened?" I tried to lean back before El could flick my forehead again, but since I was stuck in a bed, she just leaned over a bit more and did it anyway.
The guildmaster waves away the concern, and I smirk triumphantly at my teammate. "It's fine. He earned a place at Skyfall, and I moved on to become [The Sword of Summer]."
"But I didn't come here to talk about my past." She pauses, and her face suddenly looks older than it had been a moment ago. "The Council's been bothering me. They think you've somehow been contaminated. They want to lock you up until this whole [Calamity] thing sorts itself out."
I hadn't even decided how to feel about that—a [Hero] at odds with a corrupt government was pretty common—when my teammate's shout echoes through the room, "What!! That's bullshit."
A moment later, Markus chirps stridently and hops from his spot on the dresser onto the foot of my bed, where he crosses his fuzzy arms and glares.
"Indeed. I told them that if they tried to arrest an adventurer for defending their city, they might not have an adventurers guild in the morning."
"That'd be the least of their problems," El scowls darkly.
"Heh. While I cannot, as an officer of the guild, undermine duly empowered civil authority. It's well known that adventurers stick together, and quite a few of us think we only survived the [Calamity] attack due to your… heroism."
My face blooms into a smile, and I try to sit up straighter, only to be held down by El's hand on the top of my head. Well, that was good enough.
"Really?"
"Really, really."
The guildmaster nods approvingly, and while I bask in the glory of being heroic, she shoves a hand in her pocket and pulls out three silver bracelets. My eyes widen when I see that two of them are human-sized, while one is just a couple of loops linked together—perfectly sized for furry-Markus.
"I came here for two reasons—three, if I count the report I'll be giving to the Council about your new class, even those cowards should understand what it means to be a [Valiant Warrior]."
I open my mouth to ask what exactly it means—the characters in my books were [Heroes], not valiant-what's-it-means—but the guildmaster cuts me off with a smirk.
"It's a class whose conditions are met by showing bravery in the face of impossible odds and rescuing civilians from certain death." Her smirk turns a bit more wry as she continues, "If it were just the first part, our guild would be bursting at the seams with the class—we're all a bit touched when it comes to assessing danger—but of the dozen teams and solo adventurers that gathered at the gates, yours was the only one to come in with a wagonload of civilians."
"That's because we had El's cart to drag them with." It was important to clarify that despite clearly being a [Hero], I didn't do it by myself. Otherwise, my teammates might grow jealous of my awesome [Hero] abilities and leave me to die in the wilderness.
"Yes, that's definitely all I did."
My impeccable memory was telling me otherwise, but if she wanted to disagree, then I wasn't going to argue. "Yep. That's all you did."
"Ciel, if you weren't already hurt-"
"Before that, since I do have things to do today other than listening to a team bicker. Here."
She holds out a bracelet to El, who ties it to her left wrist with her other hand. Markus is next, and the guildmaster wraps it around his furry paw and then snaps it closed, which is nice of her. He has trouble working the latch on his adventuring bracelet. Finally, she leans down and I raise my arm so she can slip the bracelet around my wrist.
I hold my wrist up to get a better look at it. Silver. I was a D-rank adventurer already. Surely, no one other than a [Hero] could advance from unranked to D-rank in just a few days. The guildmaster's voice interrupts me before I can get too absorbed in pondering how quickly I am growing, though.
"E-rank is a stage of learning. It's where an adventurer takes her first steps outside of the safety of a city and comes face to face with danger. Many run from that first test. Some continue running for the rest of their lives."
Who would ever run from something like that? They'd never become a [Hero] if they did. Besides, the funnest-looking quests were all much higher than E-ranked.
"E-rank is not for fools who rush headlong into danger, nor is it a rank where an adventurer risks her life to save one of her fellows. Since you three have done both of those things, you are clearly not E-rank. This is not a reward. It is a recognition of what you've done."
The guildmaster pushes herself to her full height, her sword-cane hanging loosely in her hand. Her aura flows out and over the three of us with a prickly sort of warmth.
"Climb higher, young ones. To the limits of your abilities and beyond. Dark times have come to Dynegard, and I fear we will need that strength in the days to come."
Her aura vanishes, replaced by a tired smile. "And now that I've lectured at you, I have a Council to shout some sense into."
With that, she turns, her sword-cane tapping out a steady beat as she walks toward the door. When she gets there, she pauses and looks over her shoulder at us. "I don't believe in leaving things unsaid. You did good work out there, Ciel, but the Council has fingers in a lot of pies, and I can't guarantee you will remain free if you stay in Reitzland."
That was great news. Having to thwart my sister's evil plots while dodging a maybe-corrupt, maybe-just-cowardly-and-incompetent council was just the sort of thing [Heroes] were made from. "Thanks, guildmaster. We'll take care of everything."
"Heh. I'm sure you will."
With that, she vanishes through the door. A moment later, El turns to me and stares. "Whatever you're thinking, stop."
"But-"
"No. We will take the guildmaster's warning and leave tomorrow."
"What about-" I'm interrupted before I can ask about how we're going to uncover the evil hidden in the Council.
"Alis spent three years in Byregot as an [Inquisitor]. Leave her to uncover the truth here." El stares at me in a way that dares me to disagree.
"Fine~" I sigh out the word. There were other city-states we could go to. Ashe said she'd infiltrate all of them for her plot. "But since we're not leaving until tomorrow, let's do something fun today."
"I feel like I'm going to regret this, but ok." Markus turns to look at El and chirps softly. "He's right. Markus and I will make sure you don't pick anything too strenuous."
Pick as many as you want; at least the top option will win (maybe more, depending on how much I end up writing).
[] "We should go get a fancy meal somewhere. So we don't get too hungry on the road."
[] "We should find the adventurers we fought with in the siege. See how they're doing."
[] "Some nice old lady gave Markus and me a scarf; I want to see if she's ok."
[] "We should meet with the civilians we saved. One of them might have a relic they keep in their attic."
[] "There's got to be some kind of celebration for us having saved the city, right?"
[] "Go see some animals at the menagerie."
[] "Wander around the back alleys, totally not looking for trouble."
[] "Go buy some books, we can even go somewhere with boring books for you."
[] Write-in some other slice-of-life type activity here
[AN]
On the one hand, things are really shaping up for Ciel's quest to become a [Hero]. On the other hand, there's everything else.
"Ciel'othor'morg'dal, where have you been, and what in the maddening screams of Dys are you doing?"
My true name gouges crimson lines in reality, and I flinch. My sisters only ever used my full name when I was in deep trouble.
No. Wait. I was a soon-to-be [Hero]. I didn't have to subject myself to the tyranny of my elders. That's right. I would throw off this yoke of oppression and take a stand for bullied younger sisters everywhere.
"I'm an adventurer, here to end your villainous rampage." I brace myself in a defensive stand as I prepare for the inevitable—and violent—response.
"Are you, now?"
The speculative stare Ashe fixes me with makes me want to run to her and assure her that I was still her favorite sister. I couldn't do that, though. I was committed to my role. And only woe would come from the mixing of [Hero] and villain.
That is, unless my sister becomes a recurring villain that I finally defeat in the middle of a flaming caldera or something. Then, she'd be my most trusted and loyal sidekick. Unfortunately, I didn't even have to let my mind shatter to realize that wouldn't happen. Ashe just wasn't the kind of villain that eventually became a [Hero]'s sidekick. She was way too elegant for that—which was only appropriate for someone cool enough to be my sister.
"Yeah!"
"Is that so~?" she almost sing-songs the question.
Before I can respond, a shaping of mana explodes out from around her with a declaration of '[Maddened Sphere of Azathoth].' The sky shatters, and a field of pale silver eyes peer in through the cracks as a gibbering attention is drawn by the spell. For a moment, cause is unbounded from effect, space twists and warps, and a blood-red film covers my eyes, then a sense of stygian amusement wafts through the air, and the presence withdraws.
With his blessing received, existence tolls like a struck gong as the Tier 10 spell reaches its apex. A moment later, a cataclysm of mana scrapes jagged barbs upon this plane of existence as walls of madness wrought from the glow of dying stars shimmer into existence around us.
Despite my genius mind being almost totally focused on the scolding that was coming my way, I spent a moment worrying about my teammates. Aza's attention was fun in a screaming incoherently and clawing your eyes out sort of way, which would make it a lot harder for El to read her boring books. Markus would still be able to nap on my shoulder, though, so he should probably be just fine.
When the dome of pale starlight finishes forming above us, it unintentionally blocks the sight of our upcoming titanic struggle from view. Ashe turns to me, a brilliant, endlessly proud smile on her face. Despite the weight of our upcoming struggle weighing down on me, I can't help the urge to preen.
"I'm so, so proud of you, Ciel."
It takes a moment for her words to sink in. No one's ever said anything like that to me before. My skin flutters and feels hot. I feel myself grinning so widely that I think my face would split in half if it weren't held together by flaps of skin.
"Really!?!"
"Indeed." My sister flicks her hand, and [Bloodrose] appears in her hands. The whip twitches impatiently as she smiles at me. "I was worried that you would be content to stomp around, playing [Calamity] and hero with your toy cities forever. But this, this is brilliant."
I can barely think past the approval radiating from my sister. Other than becoming a [Hero], this was everything I had ever wanted wrapped up in a single moment, "Is it?"
"It's a plan worthy of Sopharanatoth or Ri'ankor'mal or even me."
My chest felt like a cup that had been filled past the brim, and liquid was spilling out over the sides. I never wanted this moment to end. "It is?"
"Yes." My sister nods in a way that says I shouldn't question her judgment anymore. "Deciding to seal away your [Calamity] skills so you can infiltrate the adventurers guild and sow discord and chaos from within the structures of mortal existence is ingenious."
Exactly, I would build up their trust in me, and when I was finally allowed access to the wardstones at Skyfall, I could…
My infallible memory pokes me, and the villainous plan dissipates from my mind. That wasn't why I was here. I was here to vanquish ancient evils and become a [Hero]—just like the characters in my books.
"That's not it at all!" I shout out my defiance of my evil sister. "I want to be a [Hero]!"
"A hero?"
My sister looks at me like she doesn't understand the words I'm saying, but that doesn't bother me nearly as much as the way she said 'hero': like it was a hobby people did to pass the time. I had to correct her. I was the expert on [Heroes] here. I'd read hundreds of books about them.
"No. A [Hero]. You know, with the class and a [Sword of Light] and an ultimate attack and-"
The snapping sound of [Bloodrose] decapitating a [Bloodforged] that had wandered too close interrupts me before I can really dig into my rant, and I see my sister frowning at me. "That's… where did you get the idea that… who told you that heroes were a class?"
I don't understand what she was asking. It was like asking me to describe how water was wet. A [Hero] is a class; the sun rises in the west—as simple as that. Still, Ashe was my older sister—and in a six-way tie for my favorite person—so I tried my best to answer her question.
"Well, I started with a book called The [Hero] and the Cat. It's about a girl who finds a sword in the forest and rescues a cat from an evil witch and the cat becomes a girl and they go on an adventure together to defeat an evil dragon and then they make kissy-faces at each other and-"
[Bloodrose] snaps again and then slithers out to wrap around the blood-dragon's neck and starts to squeeze. The blood-bones in its neck start to crack with a delightful popping noise. The dragon starts thrashing—because my sister likes it when things struggle as they die. As it collapses back into blood and slime, Ashe breathes out a noisy exhale and stares at me with an intensity that starts to smolder the air around me.
"Who put the idea of kissing into your mind!?!" Ashe's stare sharpens to a glare, and I can read the promise of painful death in her eyes. "It was that fucking [Lord of Fallen Flame], wasn't it? He will know suffering beyond mortal imagination. He will spend ten thousand mortal lives screaming in agony and another ten thousand begging me to die."
I pause to let my genius mind shatter, only to sigh when it comes back with an answer. It would not, in fact, be [Heroic] to sic my sister on my former overlord. "No. He was just boring and lame. And I always skip past those pages anyway. It's weird and gross."
"That's-" My sister's burning stare reverts to its usual intensity as she sighs in relief. "Just remember, when anyone touches you inappropriately, you should-
"Remove the limb touching me and then all the rest of their limbs just to make sure they can't do it again," I repeat a lecture I'd heard a hundred times from each of my sisters. It was one of their favorite things to do when we were all together. That, and make me leave when Riri started talking about her seductions—whatever that meant.
Ashe looks reassured that I've remembered their lecture—as though my infallible memory would allow anything less. "Right. So, back to the hero thing-"
"[Hero]." I, on the other hand, was starting to worry about her memory because she seemed to have forgotten the proper emphasis.
"There's no such-"
She cuts off whatever she was going to say mid-sentence and looks up to writhing tendrils of starlight above us. I recognized that look; it was the same one I used when I let my mind shatter into fractal patterns. So, instead of telling my sister all about my new teammates and the fire-bear I'd fought, I wait for her to finish.
A moment later, she looks back down from the "You want to be a hero?"
"A [Hero], yes." This was getting worrying. I might have to talk to Soph or Riri to let them know that Ashe may be going senile. She was the oldest one of us, after all.
"Well, I suppose I can leave Luminia on its own for a while," she smirks with vicious amusement. "I'm sure their [Archmages] will have fun trying to unravel the threads of this spell."
I nod in agreement at that. Aza's spells were so twisty and weird they even made my brain hurt a little, and I was a [Calamity] and a genius.
"If you're going to be a hero-"
"A [Hero]."
"Fine, Ciel, a [Hero]." She spits the word out like it pains her, and I breathe an internal sigh of relief. Maybe she wasn't going senile after all. "Then you will need an appropriately epic villain."
"I was going to use the [Lord of Fallen Flame], but I accidentally left his castle as a pile of rubble and killed off all of his minions except not-furry-Markus. So I don't know how good a villain he will be."
I try to keep my excitement under control. My genius mind was poking me about where my sister was going with this, but I didn't want to spoil it. Ashe was the super responsible one, always busy with her floating city. She never had time to play.
"A coward with a crown he refuses to use isn't worth a moment of your attention, Ciel'othor. He isn't a mote of dust compared to the [Calamity of Pride]."
"Really!?!" My eyes feel so bright that it's a wonder they aren't shooting out rays of [Hellfire]. My chest feels like it's about to burst open from the emotions rampaging within it. Instead of being responsible and working on her plots, Ashe was going to play [Hero] and overlord. With me.
"Of course." she smiles fondly. "If little Ciel needs a villain, what choice could be better than her favorite older sister?"
My head bobbles back and forth as I nod fervently. "You can create evil plots and I can gather my teammates to thwart them and then I'll find a super-relic sword and we can have an epic final confrontation where I learn that the true powers of a [Hero] are the friends I made along the way—that and giant hell-beams my super-sword shoots out—and-"
"Indeed," My sister cuts off my rant with a single word and a gleeful smirk. "But for you to be able to do that, we need to first set the stage so that the fools outside don't suspect a thing."
"What do you mean?" Sure, I couldn't reveal my secret heritage so soon, but what would be wrong with letting them know I would be fighting against a [Calamity] who absolutely wasn't secretly-my-sister for the next several arcs?
"Your fellow adventurers will doubtless have questions if you return to them unscathed." Her smirk shifts from glee to something a lot more bloodthirsty as she says that.
My grin widens to match hers. I knew from my books that fighting the main villain in the first arc almost guaranteed a loss, but there was no better way to become a [Hero] than to claw my way back up from that early defeat. "You're on!"
I raise my sword only to blink as I feel a wetness running down my chest. I look down at a rose shaped out of blood embedded just to the right of my fluttery heart. It was really considerate for Ashe to avoid my heart—without my [Calamity] skills, that would be dangerous.
My shield moves seemingly in slow motion to deflect the thorny edge of my sister's whip, but it snakes neatly around my attempted block and shreds through my [Thick Skin] as though it didn't even exist.
"I would say I'm sorry, Ciel." My sister smirks as a spire of blood erupts beneath me and impales my calf, "but I'm not."
"It's fi-urghle." My reply is cut off by blood-red claws tearing out a chunk of my throat. I cough out a spray of blood and try again. "It's fine, sis! Give me your best shot!"
"Oh, I will."
Stars explode in front of my eyes as a wall of pure force crashes into my face. I hear more than feel my nose break and spit out another mouthful of blood as I dizzily try to re-set my shield. I might as well have been trying to block the wind for all the good it did. [Bloodrose] flashes a dozen times and tears a dozen gouges into me.
Something flashes in front of me too quickly to see, and my leg cracks with an unpleasant sound. I topple to the ground, unable to stand. Blood drips into my eyes, and my vision grows dim until all I can see is my sister's boot as she steps up beside me.
Something latches onto my unbroken leg and lifts me into the air, and I think I hear my sister whisper something like, 'You did well, Ciel. Now, it's my turn.'
"I had intended for you all to die screaming, but the valor of this fool child has bought you time."
I feel myself being shaken, and I bravely withhold a pained groan as my bones scrape unpleasantly against things I was certain they shouldn't scrape against. A [Hero] never admitted to pain—which my books made seem a lot easier than it was turning out to be.
"Instead, I will offer you a game."
I scrabble uselessly against the thing holding onto my leg and try to look up through the blood gumming my eyes shut. No. She promised. If I could have spoken through the hole in my lungs—and the hole in my throat, too, I guess—I would have shouted that this wasn't a game.
"I will destroy your pathetic city-states from the inside. My minions will infest your feeble institutions and drag them toward ruin. I will take and turn the best and brightest amongst you, and they will betray you with a smile."
As my sister continued, I realized it was probably for the best that my shout came out as a burble of blood and other fluids.
"You will have one year. One year for the seeds of paranoia to take root within your minds. Until parents no longer trust children and wives no longer trust husbands. And at the end, when mistrust and fear have torn apart all you have built, I will return, and I will drown you all in blood."
Wow.
I was thankful the bones in both my hands and arms were so broken; otherwise, I'd have tried to applaud. That was an amazing villain speech and an even more amazing plan. I would have just rampaged until everything was broken, but this was so much better. Her plots would break their spirit, and then she'd come back to destroy them with her [Bloodforged]. It was no wonder why Ashe was the oldest. She was such an awesome sister.
My genius mind pokes me out of my awe. Right. I was the [Hero] that wouldn't let her get away with her evil plan. I would root out her corruption and put her minions to the sword. And I would start right now.
I wiggle a floppy, broken foot at the strap holding me upright. Take that, sis.
"What's to stop us from killing you right now?" A grating voice forces its way past the blood clogging up my ears.
"You?" I hear the smirk my sister wears right before she does something cool.
"Your life." An agonized shout is cut off a moment later by the sound of flesh and bone exploding. "Any other objections?"
I try and pout, but it hurts too much to move my face over my broken nose, and cheek, and jaw. Ashe never let me watch her boil someone's blood until they pop like a sealed kettle. It wasn't fair.
"Take your fool, and know that she is the only reason any of you yet draw breath." The strap holding my leg vanishes, and I feel myself tumbling through the air.
The air explodes out of my holey lungs and broken ribs as I land in a puddle of mud and gore, which was probably for the best because if I had any breath, I would have screamed at the agony coursing through me. And that wouldn't be very [Hero]-like at all.
I hear reality whimper as a [Hellfire Portal] opens in the sky above me, and if I could have moved, I would have waved goodbye to my sister. The most I could manage, though, was a hoarse exhale through a mouthful of blood.
As the pain from my beating rises to drown me in darkness and unconsciousness, one last thought echoes in the silence of my mind. Bye, sis. You're the best.
[Conditions met - Valiant Warrior Obtained!]
[Fighter consolidates into Valiant Warrior!]
[Valiant Warrior Level 8!]
[Rare Skill - Brave Soul gained!]
[Skill - Kindle Bravery gained!]
My eyes blink open, and I stare up at an unfamiliar ceiling. "Wh-" My voice trails off in a dry hacking cough, and I sink into the sheets surrounding me.
My eyes blink open, and I stare up at an unfamiliar ceiling. "Where?" My voice is a cracked whisper, but at least I can make it through the question. Unfortunately, no one is there to answer the question. I stare up for a minute or two longer before the weights on my eyelids drag them closed.
My eyes blink open, and I stare up at a familiar ceiling. "Where am I?"
"You're awake!" I struggle to turn my head to the voice that sounds an awful lot like El. "Here, don't strain yourself."
El materializes above me and helps me slide up until my back is placed against a pillow and my head is leaning against a cool, wooden headboard. "What happened?"
El scowls at me. She looks tired, as if she hadn't slept in weeks. I wonder why. "You charged a [Calamity], you fucking idiot, and she beat you an inch from death."
"At least she didn't-" my voice trails off with a cough, and a moment later, the edge of a glass cup is placed against my lips.
"Drink slowly, idiot."
El holds the cup up while I drink greedily, and when I free my hands from the sheets trapping them, she wraps them around the cup. After ensuring that I wouldn't spill my drink all over myself, she leans back and lets me drink at my own pace.
I let the empty cup tilt from my fingers and fall down to my lap. I grin. "Thanks, I needed that."
"You need a brain." El's scowl deepens until it's tinged with some strange emotion I can't even begin to identify. "What in the hells made you think charging a [Calamity] was a good idea?"
"It's…" my genius mind muddles through flashes of memories fed to it by my infallible memory, but I stop before I can blurt out the truth. "It seemed like a good idea."
"That's because you're an idiot." Well, that certainly wasn't true. I was a [Calamity], a soon-to-be [Hero], and definitely a genius. But my genius mind was also telling me that arguing with her right now was a bad idea, so I stayed silent. "From now on, you let me-"
"Chirp."
"Markus and I do the thinking for you."
That was an incredibly generous offer. It was always so much easier when I had a rampage target picked out for me. It's why I worked for overlords instead of creating my own plots. Still, I wasn't sure whether I should let my future sidekicks do the thinking for me. On the other hand, [Heroes] letting their super-smart sidekicks make plans was pretty common, so maybe it would work. I'd have to think about it.
"I'm not sure-"
"Nope. Sorry. We held a vote while you were busy almost dying!" El shouts the last two words at me for some reason. "We do the thinking now."
"Chirp."
I frown. [Hero] parties weren't democracies. I knew that much. I also knew that if I ignored my sidekicks too much, they would betray me at a critical, plot-relevant point in time. So, how was I supposed to handle this? I let my mind fracture, but when it reforms, I'm left no closer to a solution. My books were split almost perfectly evenly between what I should do. My frown deepens. Thinking was hard.
"Can I at least be the face of the team?" My voice definitely doesn't take on a plaintive tone as I ask my question. This was a critical point. If I didn't at least seem to be in charge of my party, I'd never become a [Hero].
El reaches out to pinch at my cheek, and I smile as I realize my face isn't fractured anymore. "Since Markus can't talk and I don't like dealing with people, that's all yours."
"Yay." I regret my exclamation when some still healing bit of something or other in my chest pulls unpleasantly. "Oww."
"Here," El reaches somewhere behind her and hands over a pale green potion. "There's shortages of everything after the [Calamity of Pride]'s appearance, but I'll be damned if I let my teammate wait in line for a healing potion like a peasant."
Her tone and words were yet more support for my hypothesis that El was a princess in disguise. Though, I still wasn't quite sure why she seemed so unconcerned about finding allies to regain her throne. I'm sure it would come up eventually. Besides, I could hardly complain about a teammate keeping a secret.
So, instead, I grab the potion in both hands and swallow it down in a single gulp. I feel a warmth settle in my stomach and begin to spread out to my limbs. The pain in my chest starts to fade, and I smile happily. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it." My partner grins at me for a moment before looking away.
My impeccable memory pokes at me and reminds me that I'd woken up several times before this. "How long have I been out?"
"A week," is the almost instantaneous reply. "The guildmaster came by a few days ago to make sure you weren't dead. The Council tried to come in, too. They blathered something about creating an accounting of responsibility, but I told them to fuck off until you woke up."
Was I really that important that people would come to see me while I was asleep? How strange. Still, the idea sparked a faint warmth in my stomach, and I grinned, "Thanks, partner."
"Heh. Well, someone has to keep those vultures away from you."
I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but since El was smiling at me, I figured it couldn't be that bad. Still, I did have a different question, one directly related to the evil plot my sister was currently enacting.
"What happened after m- the [Calamity] left?"
"You mean after she tossed your almost-dead body back to us like a used towel?"
That wasn't quite how I'd put it, but I was in a lot of pain and kind of dizzy from blood loss, so who was I to say? "Yeah, that too."
"It's been a bit of a shit show," a familiar voice calls out, and a second later the guildmaster strolls in. "That spell she cast fucked with a bunch of people—made them go crazy and attack whoever was nearest. We're lucky that it happened during the day, or we'd be dealing with the aftermath of a bunch of parents who went temporarily crazy and murdered their children."
"Guildmaster, how good of you to come in uninvited," El smiles in a way that doesn't look happy at all.
Guildmaster Alis shrugs, "When I heard Ciel here was awake, I came right over."
"Really? What for?" I scoot up on my bed. I didn't want my guildmaster to see me lounging like that—she might think I wasn't fit to be an adventurer.
"You spent the most time around the [Calamity] out of all of us." Her sword-cane taps on the floor as she walks over to me. She waves El out of her chair and sits down beside my bed. Dark green eyes bore down into me with an intensity that kind of reminded me of my sisters. "We're all a bit interested in why she let you live."
"Oh. I-"
I should have expected that this question was coming, but at first, I'd been too busy being amazed at Ashe's plot, and then I'd been terribly injured. I'd also apparently spent a week unconscious, so maybe it was understandable, but still.
"I think she was just amazed at how brave I am." My immaculate memory pokes at me, "I even got a new class from it. [Valiant Warrior]."
"Did you?" The oppressive aura surrounding her disappears, and she smiles. "An impressive class evolution, and you're not even level 10, are you?"
"Level 8," I respond instantly, preening at how impressed my guildmaster was with me.
El sighs and leans down to flick my forehead, "Ciel. Don't tell people your class and levels."
"But-"
"Didn't we just agree that Markus and I would do the thinking?" I stare at her for a moment and even open my mouth to argue, but she just looks at me with a confident smirk.
My eyes fell in defeat. I had just agreed to that. Still, "Yes, but you don't have to say that in front of the guildmaster."
"Heh," the guildmaster's chuckle cuts off whatever response I could see forming on El's face. "I had the same talk with a teammate when I was just starting. It ended up working out pretty well while we were a team. I hit things with my sword and he made plans and drew maps and wrote notes about things."
"Why'd you split apart?"
"You shouldn't pry into other people's past, idiot. What if something bad had happened?" I tried to lean back before El could flick my forehead again, but since I was stuck in a bed, she just leaned over a bit more and did it anyway.
The guildmaster waves away the concern, and I smirk triumphantly at my teammate. "It's fine. He earned a place at Skyfall, and I moved on to become [The Sword of Summer]."
"But I didn't come here to talk about my past." She pauses, and her face suddenly looks older than it had been a moment ago. "The Council's been bothering me. They think you've somehow been contaminated. They want to lock you up until this whole [Calamity] thing sorts itself out."
I hadn't even decided how to feel about that—a [Hero] at odds with a corrupt government was pretty common—when my teammate's shout echoes through the room, "What!! That's bullshit."
A moment later, Markus chirps stridently and hops from his spot on the dresser onto the foot of my bed, where he crosses his fuzzy arms and glares.
"Indeed. I told them that if they tried to arrest an adventurer for defending their city, they might not have an adventurers guild in the morning."
"That'd be the least of their problems," El scowls darkly.
"Heh. While I cannot, as an officer of the guild, undermine duly empowered civil authority. It's well known that adventurers stick together, and quite a few of us think we only survived the [Calamity] attack due to your… heroism."
My face blooms into a smile, and I try to sit up straighter, only to be held down by El's hand on the top of my head. Well, that was good enough.
"Really?"
"Really, really."
The guildmaster nods approvingly, and while I bask in the glory of being heroic, she shoves a hand in her pocket and pulls out three silver bracelets. My eyes widen when I see that two of them are human-sized, while one is just a couple of loops linked together—perfectly sized for furry-Markus.
"I came here for two reasons—three, if I count the report I'll be giving to the Council about your new class, even those cowards should understand what it means to be a [Valiant Warrior]."
I open my mouth to ask what exactly it means—the characters in my books were [Heroes], not valiant-what's-it-means—but the guildmaster cuts me off with a smirk.
"It's a class whose conditions are met by showing bravery in the face of impossible odds and rescuing civilians from certain death." Her smirk turns a bit more wry as she continues, "If it were just the first part, our guild would be bursting at the seams with the class—we're all a bit touched when it comes to assessing danger—but of the dozen teams and solo adventurers that gathered at the gates, yours was the only one to come in with a wagonload of civilians."
"That's because we had El's cart to drag them with." It was important to clarify that despite clearly being a [Hero], I didn't do it by myself. Otherwise, my teammates might grow jealous of my awesome [Hero] abilities and leave me to die in the wilderness.
"Yes, that's definitely all I did."
My impeccable memory was telling me otherwise, but if she wanted to disagree, then I wasn't going to argue. "Yep. That's all you did."
"Ciel, if you weren't already hurt-"
"Before that, since I do have things to do today other than listening to a team bicker. Here."
She holds out a bracelet to El, who ties it to her left wrist with her other hand. Markus is next, and the guildmaster wraps it around his furry paw and then snaps it closed, which is nice of her. He has trouble working the latch on his adventuring bracelet. Finally, she leans down and I raise my arm so she can slip the bracelet around my wrist.
I hold my wrist up to get a better look at it. Silver. I was a D-rank adventurer already. Surely, no one other than a [Hero] could advance from unranked to D-rank in just a few days. The guildmaster's voice interrupts me before I can get too absorbed in pondering how quickly I am growing, though.
"E-rank is a stage of learning. It's where an adventurer takes her first steps outside of the safety of a city and comes face to face with danger. Many run from that first test. Some continue running for the rest of their lives."
Who would ever run from something like that? They'd never become a [Hero] if they did. Besides, the funnest-looking quests were all much higher than E-ranked.
"E-rank is not for fools who rush headlong into danger, nor is it a rank where an adventurer risks her life to save one of her fellows. Since you three have done both of those things, you are clearly not E-rank. This is not a reward. It is a recognition of what you've done."
The guildmaster pushes herself to her full height, her sword-cane hanging loosely in her hand. Her aura flows out and over the three of us with a prickly sort of warmth.
"Climb higher, young ones. To the limits of your abilities and beyond. Dark times have come to Dynegard, and I fear we will need that strength in the days to come."
Her aura vanishes, replaced by a tired smile. "And now that I've lectured at you, I have a Council to shout some sense into."
With that, she turns, her sword-cane tapping out a steady beat as she walks toward the door. When she gets there, she pauses and looks over her shoulder at us. "I don't believe in leaving things unsaid. You did good work out there, Ciel, but the Council has fingers in a lot of pies, and I can't guarantee you will remain free if you stay in Reitzland."
That was great news. Having to thwart my sister's evil plots while dodging a maybe-corrupt, maybe-just-cowardly-and-incompetent council was just the sort of thing [Heroes] were made from. "Thanks, guildmaster. We'll take care of everything."
"Heh. I'm sure you will."
With that, she vanishes through the door. A moment later, El turns to me and stares. "Whatever you're thinking, stop."
"But-"
"No. We will take the guildmaster's warning and leave tomorrow."
"What about-" I'm interrupted before I can ask about how we're going to uncover the evil hidden in the Council.
"Alis spent three years in Byregot as an [Inquisitor]. Leave her to uncover the truth here." El stares at me in a way that dares me to disagree.
"Fine~" I sigh out the word. There were other city-states we could go to. Ashe said she'd infiltrate all of them for her plot. "But since we're not leaving until tomorrow, let's do something fun today."
"I feel like I'm going to regret this, but ok." Markus turns to look at El and chirps softly. "He's right. Markus and I will make sure you don't pick anything too strenuous."
Pick as many as you want; at least the top option will win (maybe more, depending on how much I end up writing).
[] "We should go get a fancy meal somewhere. So we don't get too hungry on the road."
[] "We should find the adventurers we fought with in the siege. See how they're doing."
[] "Some nice old lady gave Markus and me a scarf; I want to see if she's ok."
[] "We should meet with the civilians we saved. One of them might have a relic they keep in their attic."
[] "There's got to be some kind of celebration for us having saved the city, right?"
[] "Go see some animals at the menagerie."
[] "Wander around the back alleys, totally not looking for trouble."
[] "Go buy some books, we can even go somewhere with boring books for you."
[] Write-in some other slice-of-life type activity here
Level 8 [Valiant Warrior]
Skills
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]
Ciel can wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Basic Shield Proficiency]
Ciel can use shields with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Brave Soul]
When acting with valor, all of Ciel's skills are improved
[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it gives Ciel strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents
[Kindle Bravery]
Once per day, Ciel can use this skill to fortify the hearts and minds of anyone who can see or hear her.
[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Superior Awareness]. It doubles Ciel's ability to hear things. This does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.
[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills. It provides Ciel with resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.
Skills
[Basic Weapon Proficiency]
Ciel can wield common weapons (swords, daggers, maces, staves, and spears) with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Basic Shield Proficiency]
Ciel can use shields with a skill equivalent to one month of regular training.
[Brave Soul]
When acting with valor, all of Ciel's skills are improved
[Enhanced Strength]
The first level of strength enhancement skills, it gives Ciel strength equivalent to that of a draft animal and is alternatively known as [Horse's Strength] on other continents
[Kindle Bravery]
Once per day, Ciel can use this skill to fortify the hearts and minds of anyone who can see or hear her.
[Superior Hearing]
One of six sensory enhancement skills required for [Superior Awareness]. It doubles Ciel's ability to hear things. This does not apply to sounds that would otherwise be heard.
[Thick Skin]
The first level of armored skin skills. It provides Ciel with resistance to injury equivalent to unenchanted leather armor.
[AN]
On the one hand, things are really shaping up for Ciel's quest to become a [Hero]. On the other hand, there's everything else.
In which a Villainess explores the town
"Let's go find the old lady that gave me my scarf."
"Chirp."
I frown at furry-Markus. "No. She gave it to me."
Markus deliberately hops off my bed and back to the dresser, where he wraps the edge of my scarf around his furry-shoulders like a cloak. He looked good like that, almost debonair, with the way the red of the scarf matched the brown and red of his fur. Still, I wasn't going to give up that easily.
"It's too big for you." I point out the obvious. "It was made for a girl, not a squirrel."
Markus chirps dismissively and turns to El.
My teammate shakes her head, "This is a dumb argument, and I refuse to get involved."
"Yeah, plus she wasn't even there when I got the scarf. How would she even know?"
Markus wiggles his way even deeper into the scarf until only his eyes and whiskers are free. I could feel myself losing the argument to his cuteness. I had to rally, but I couldn't just go over and take it from him—that wouldn't be [Heroic] at all. I would have to rely on my genius mind to come up with an unbeatable argument.
My mind fractures into fractal patterns and then reforms. That was brilliant. There was no way he could argue with me now.
"I had it first."
"Chirp." That wasn't a fair argument at all; just because he was wearing it right now didn't make it his.
"If I hadn't been asleep for so long, I'd still be wearing it."
I point out completely reasonably, only to get a roll of his eyes in response. Well, if that didn't work, then I had another row of teeth to grow.
"El," I turned to my partner, my favorite teammate, my best and first future sidekick. "He's trying to steal my scarf from me; make him give it back."
"I already said I wasn't getting involved."
I gasp inside myself. This was it. This was the betrayal my books had warned me about. My team was conspiring to steal my fluffy scarf from me while I was too weak to stop them. I fumble with the sheets wrapped around me as I scoot toward the edge of the bed. I couldn't let this go; I had to do something.
El sighs as her kind-of-purple, kind-of-blue eyes flick back and forth between Markus and me. After a moment, her eyes roll to the sky, and she mutters something like, 'Why me?' followed by, 'I'm surrounded by fucking children.'
"But since I did say I would be doing the thinking from now on, why don't we find this old woman and have her make a second scarf?"
"Yeah!" My head perks up as my team's betrayal vanishes. "We can get a tiny one just for Markus."
"Chirp."
"I don't need a scarf; I already have one."
"Chirp."
"If it were yours, it would be squirrel-sized."
"Chirp."
"Nuh-uh."
"Chirp."
"Nuh-uh."
"Chi-"
"Ok, both of you shut up." El cuts off our argument with a glare. "We'll let the old lady decide."
"Chirp."
"It is fair. It's not my fault that she likes me more."
"Chirp."
"Yes, she does."
"Chirp."
"Uh-huh."
"Chirp."
"Uh-"
"Dead gods, let's go." El reaches out to wrap her hand around my arm and starts tugging. Thanks to my [Enhanced Strength], I don't move. "Ugh, fine. I'll be outside whenever you two are done with this stupidity."
I barely pay attention as she leaves. I had an argument to win. "Uh-huh."
"Chirp."
The first thing El does when she sees Markus and I walk out of her townhouse is scowl. I wasn't sure why. It had only taken us another twenty minutes before he and I had compromised by wrapping the scarf around both of our necks.
Maybe she secretly wanted a scarf of her own and was jealous that she didn't have one. Or maybe she just thought Markus looked ridiculous with a scarf bigger than he was wrapped around him like a shawl but didn't want to say so since she'd promised to be neutral.
I open my mouth to ask, but before I can say anything, I'm cut off by the stomping of her boots as she marches over to us. "I'm going to guess neither of you two have any idea how to actually find this woman."
"Chirp."
"Of course I do." Markus and I reply at the same time. I turn to look at him and lift my chin in a magnanimous request to respond first. Once again, El interrupts before I can say anything.
"An idea that doesn't involve wandering around aimlessly until we run into them?"
I grin happily; it's amazing that my teammate has already come to understand me so well. "How'd you guess?"
On my shoulder, Markus flops down to his belly and covers his face with a pair of fuzzy paws. Did they both know me so well that they could anticipate my genius plans? I was such a lucky [Hero]-to-be to have such attentive teammates.
"Because you're an idiot."
I frown slightly at that. That wasn't right at all. I was a [Calamity] and a genius. Unfortunately, I couldn't exactly tell her that, so I responded in the time-honored way of little sister [Calamities] everywhere. "Am not."
"Yes, you are." El doesn't quite follow the formula of a proper argument and, in doing so, signifies that Markus was, in fact, the much better debater. I don't get a chance to tell her this because she continues in a way that was completely inappropriate for an argument. "It's why you're not allowed to think."
"Am not." Despite my partner's unconventional argument form, I wasn't going to deviate from tradition.
Instead of even responding to my rebuttal, she reaches out and flicks my forehead with her finger. Well, the joke was on her; with my [Thick Skin], I barely even felt it. I open my mouth to gloat about her feeble attack, but for a third time, I'm interrupted before I can respond.
"Save that for Markus. If we want to find this woman, I'll need some information. Who is she? Why is she here? Which gate did she enter? Did she look poor?"
That was a lot of questions. Questions that I would have been in trouble trying to answer were it not for my infallible memory. "She's an old lady with a whiny, old-man husband. They came through the same gate I did, and she made me a world-famous stew for dinner."
El looks at me with a strange flatness in her stare, doubtless amazed by my impeccable memory, before turning to Markus.
"Chirp. Chirp."
"Hmm…" my partner taps at her lips as she formulates a plan based on my expert memories and Markus's less interesting ones. "For an old farming couple that entered the Salmon Gate, there's really only one inn in that price range. Especially with that tavern burning down the other day."
"Those evil mercenaries didn't burn down her inn, did they?" I didn't think I could dislike mercenaries more than I already did, but if they ruined the inn one of my favorite people was staying at... Well, I couldn't do anything right now, but I'd remember them for the next time I went on a rampage.
"No, the Boar and Stag is several blocks away from that bit of stupidity." El looks at me with a meaningful stare, and I nod. Of course, no one would ever want to stay too near a mercenary company. It might be contagious. "We'll start there and ask around until we find her."
"Right." I agree and then step out to the front of my party. Now that the plan was decided, it was my turn to be in charge.
"Let's go!"
I step inside of a door marked by a plaque picturing a boar and a stag locked tusks to antlers in a duel hanging over it. A wide grin sweeps across my face. Unlike that terrible mercenary tavern, the Boar and Stag looked like the kind of inn a [Hero] could get her start at. It was still loud, of course, but with the sounds of people eating and carrying on low conversations rather than drunks trying to sing by mimicking a dying minotaur. The food also looked a lot nicer. The bread was plump and brown, the meat looked like meat rather than slices of sadness, and a delightful aroma of something sweet and spicy covered everything.
"Eugh, it smells like peasants."
El, on the other hand, doesn't seem nearly as enchanted as I am. I turn to look at Markus, but it seems he's fallen asleep. That was one vote for, one against, and an abstention, which meant it was an awesome inn—since I was the leader, my vote counted more.
"Come on, let's go see what's on the menu."
I grab El by the arm and pull her forward, and thanks to my [Enhanced Strength], she only stumbles once before allowing herself to be dragged on. It doesn't stop her from arguing, though.
"We came here to find your old lady, not to eat, Ciel."
"We can do both!" Food was important for a growing [Calamity], after all.
Her face twists like she stepped in something gross. "We are not eating here."
I frown at that; if we didn't, I wouldn't get to try the bread or whatever it was that smelled like honey and spices. "But-"
El's brow furrows in the way it does when she's thinking about something deeply. After a moment, she nods to herself and looks down at me. "You can either eat now, or I can have a meal delivered to us later."
What a villainous thing to do, making me choose between the two meal options. "Why not both?"
"Because that's not the plan."
Well, I couldn't argue with that. I had promised not to be involved in making plans. Still, if those were the options, I needed a critical piece of information before I could decide. "Will you order another cake?"
"If it means not having to eat here, sure."
"Yay!"
As long as the promise of cake isn't a lie, I'd take that over eating at an inn a hundred times out of a hundred. Maybe we could even get a noodle casserole this time or some crunchy green vegetables. I could hardly wait. In fact, I wipe discretely at the edges of my mouth in case there's any drool coming out. Now, all we had to do was find the nice old lady, and as my eyes landed on a woman threading through the tables, I knew exactly where to start.
I walk over toward the server and tug on one of the frilly edges of her apron.
"Hi. I'm Ciel, and this is Markus, and that's El." I grin widely as I lift my shoulder where my furry partner is still sleeping and then turn to where El is staring into space blankly. "We're looking for an old lady."
"Chirp."
"Who makes scarves." I interpret for Markus, because not everyone bothered to learn squirrel.
"That's nice, sweetheart, but what's that got to do with me." The waitress tries to pull her apron back, but thanks to my [Enhanced Strength], my hand doesn't even move.
"El said she'd stay here."
"That's not much help, kid." The waitress tugs at her apron a few more times before sighing. "What's she look like."
"She's an old woman. She makes scarves." I explain slowly since the waitress clearly wasn't getting it.
"That's- come on, kid. I've got orders to take," she tugs at her apron again, but it doesn't work.
"Oh, and she makes a world-famous Reitz Stew." I cut her off as my impeccable memory kicks me.
"A stew?" The waitress stops tugging and starts thinking, thankfully, because I was worried her apron would start to rip. "Are you talking about Marta? Married a man named Henrick and left to go farm somewhere."
Markus chirps, and I nod. That was her.
"Second floor, number 8. She got a bit banged up with the…" Her voice trails off, and her eyes go a bit blank.
"Thanks, miss."
With that, I let go of her apron, not really noticing that she just stood there for a few moments before shaking her head and walking off. I had a direction and a teammate to show how good my plans really were. If I kept this up, she'd be out of a job in thinking for me.
"Come on, El. I found her."
"Well, I suppose it's better than staying here."
"Hi, old lady; Markus and I came to see how you were." I slam open the door with my [Enhanced Strength] and grin.
"Ciel?" A frail-sounding voice emanates from a pile of pillows and blankets in a bed set beneath a nice window. "What are you doing here?"
I race into the room and stop a step before I collide with the bed. "Markus and I are arguing over which one of us you gave the scarf to."
"Oh, and look. I'm an adventurer now. D-Rank." I raise my arm, and Markus raises his a second later. Then I point over to where El was awkwardly hovering in the doorway. "That's my teammate, El, over there with a frowny face."
"I'm not frowning, you idiot," El steps inside the room and shuts the door behind her. She steps one step further in and then stops with a half-smile on her face. "I apologize for the interruption… and for Ciel, I suppose. I've been trying, but she's yet housetrained."
That wasn't true at all. In my bigger form, I converted everything I ate into raw mana without a bit of waste. As for my smaller form, well… I shake my head. I was absolutely housetrained. I open my mouth to say so, but the old lady smiles and lifts her hand slowly out of her pillow fort.
"I'm Marta. It's good to see you, dear." A smile crosses her face as I reach out to grasp her hand with my own. A moment later, Markus scampers down to place his hand on top of ours. "After that monster attacked, I was worried…"
"You don't have to worry about that." I chime in when she trails off. "El and Markus and I will take care of her."
"We will?"
I wasn't quite sure what to make of my teammate's doubtful tone, at least until my infallible memory poked me, and I realized that I'd not actually told her that I was going to be a [Hero]. Still, even if I hadn't mentioned it—some things were much better if they came as a surprise—that didn't change the fact that we were adventurers.
"Of course we will; that's what adventurers do."
El stares at me for a moment before shrugging and sighing, "I suppose it is."
"See." I turn back to the old lady and smile. "You don't have a thing to worry about."
"I see that." The old woman pulls her hand back, and it flops down to the bed. She looks down at her hand and frowns. "I'm sorry, dear. I was hit pretty badly by that monster's spell, and it's been taking a while for me to recover."
"Did she hit you with the-" I cut off before I can mention [Bloodrose] since that was certainly one of my [Calamity] secrets. "I mean, did she break your bones and impale you through the chest and legs, too?"
"No, it-" the old lady stops her explanation as her eyes drill in on me. "What was that, dear? Too?"
"I charged m- the [Calamity], and she broke a bunch of bones and stabbed me with a whip in a bunch of places and-"
El's hand lands on my shoulder and squeezes so tightly that if I didn't have [Thick Skin], it might have hurt a bit. "If I had known this idiot was stupid enough to charge a [Calamity], I would have kept her on a leash."
"I'm alright now, though." I raise my arms and flex my tiny arms to prove the point. "She only almost killed me."
The old lady frowns at me while El's fingers try uselessly to dig into my shoulder. "El, is it?"
"More or less." My partner cleverly disguises her fake name while not lying to the nice old woman.
"Hmm…" The old lady stares at both of us for a moment. "Well, I'm glad you've found some good friends, Ciel."
"Yep!" I agree almost instantly. I had the best team a soon-to-be-[Hero] could ask for. "El is the teammate with the secret past that I learn about in the second book, and Markus is the [Rogue] with a heart of gold."
Both El and Markus stare at me after I say that, but they let the old woman speak first. "That sounds lovely."
"It's great, I-"
I'm about to tell her all about how we found a brand new dungeon and then were really responsible and rescued a bunch of people and defended the city, but before I can, my genius mind pokes me. I turn to El with a panicked look.
"She's hurt!"
"Your genius never ceases to amaze me."
Despite my chest fluttering at the words, I don't have time to bask in the feeling. "You can praise me later, El. We need to get her some of the potions that put my bones and organs back where they belonged."
"That's definitely what that was…" my teammates sighs in agreement. "Top-grade healing potions are expensive, Ciel."
"Use the gold we got for saving the city, then," I tell her, somewhat surprised that I had to suggest money stuff to her. She was supposed to be the money-smart sidekick.
"They didn't give us…"
My face twists up at that. I did [Hero] stuff; even the guildmaster said so. Surely, the city had lavished us with gold and fancy weapons and roasted cows.
"Oh, right… that reward." I wasn't sure why El's voice sounded so flat, but maybe she was just ashamed of not having an infallible memory like me. "Yeah. Let me take care of that. You three have fun here."
El comes back when I'm halfway through telling the nice old lady about how we rescued a bunch of people from the blood-slimes. "And El went *pew pew pew* with her fire bolts while I stomped on slime-goblin heads, and Markus bravely stayed back and led people to safety."
"Chirp."
"I am not downplaying your contributions just because I want her to say it's been my scarf all along." Which was a rude and totally unfair accusation from my furry-teammate.
"Chirp."
"Nuh-uh."
"Chirp."
"Nuh-"
"Ciel, Markus. Shut. Up."
Despite wanting to win my argument, the current of violent rage in my teammate's voice stops me. Normally, when my sisters got that angry at me, it was accompanied by [Void Blades] and [Decohesion Beams]—it was how I knew they were serious.
"Here, Miss Marta." El holds out a bright green potion. "Straight from our share of the reward for saving the city."
"Are you sure, dear?" The nice old lady looks at the bottle for a moment, but when my teammate nods, she reaches out to grab it. "Thank you."
My teammates and I watch as she uncorks the bottle and brings it to her lips. She downs the liquid in a single gulp, and a flash of color returns to her face. A moment later, she kicks herself free from her blanket fortress and edges over to the side of her bed. She pushes herself upright and moves over to El, who takes a step back with a slight shaking of her head. Then she turns to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders.
"Thank you, dear."
I stand still, momentarily confused about what to do. No one other than my sisters had ever hugged me before. Eventually, I decide to bring my arms up around her waist and squeeze, though I'm careful not to use my [Enhanced Strength]. After a long moment, she pulls back, her eyes blinking rapidly.
"So," I ask as she looks down at me. "Was the scarf for me or Markus."
"Hah!" the old lady cackles once and smiles fondly. "How about I make a second one so you both have one."
It's afternoon by the time we leave. Markus is wrapped up in a lame, way-too-big-scarf, while I have a cool ribbon-scarf tied into my hair. "We should go talk to those adventurers we fought with. You know, the cat-girl and the red-haired guy."
"Ciel, I don't think that's a good idea." El turns down my genius idea with a strange sort of look.
Why was she looking at me like that? She didn't seem happy about meeting our temporary partners at all. But why? Fighting blood-slimes with them had been so cool. Was she jealous that I would think one of them was cooler than she was? I'd have to ask later; for now, I had yet another argument to win.
"Come on. She punched slime-monsters to death, and he exploded them with his mace."
My teammate stares at me in the same kind of way my sisters do when they're being weird. "Ciel, they're-"
My head bobs as I agree. "Yeah, they definitely got promoted just like we did. I bet we can all celebrate getting our new ranks together."
"Ciel…" El says my name in a way that sounds kind of like a sigh.
I frown. This wasn't the enthusiastic approval that I thought my idea would receive. "Is this one of those plan things I don't get a say in? Because I really want to see them."
"They're dead, Ciel."
My face twists in incomprehension, and my eyes fall to the ground. How could they be dead? They were side characters in my [Hero] story. People like that don't die. "But I wanted to eat roasted cow with them—or raw cow if cat-girls prefer that, I'm not sure. We would sing songs, and there'd be cake, and then we'd swap adventurer stories."
El places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. I look up at her and blink something out of my eyes. "The guild put up a memorial for the adventurers who died during the attack. Do you want to go see it?"
Do I? I don't know. Maybe. Kind of. And yet...
"Come on, let's go pay our respects." El smiles softly at me, and I nod.
"Their names were Othara and Voyce," El murmurs quietly as the three of us stand in front of a small stone plinth guarded by the drooping branches of a willow tree and inscribed with dozens of names.
My eyes trace the names written on the memorial stone before they stop on Othara Qestel. My mouth moves, but no sound comes out. Othara was almost my teammate instead of El. Would she still be alive if she were? Would El be dead in her place? My breath catches in my throat at the thought. It didn't seem fair that the difference between dying and not was that close.
My thoughts chase themselves in circles, but even my genius mind can't find any answers. I turn to look at El, perhaps hoping that she would have answers to my questions, but she doesn't turn away from the stone.
Maybe there were no answers.
I blink away something in my eyes and reach out to trace her name with my fingers. It felt strange that I had never learned it in life, and now, thanks to my infallible memory, I will never forget it.
My eyes unfocus as I take in the names around hers. Was this all there was in the end? A name on a stone in a quiet park near the adventurer's guild. What about the guards who died out there? Or the civilians? Was Reitzland full of parks and memorial stones with the names of the dead carved upon them?
I look away from the stone. Not that it matters. It's already burned into my perfect memory. But at least the clattering of those unanswerable questions in my head quiets down.
"Can we go home now?"
"Yeah, let's go."
True to her promise, from what I was certain was weeks ago, but my infallible memory tells me was actually earlier in the afternoon; an extravagant feast is waiting when we get back to El's townhouse. My stomach grumbles at the sight of juicy meat, golden-brown rolls, a casserole covered in bright orange cheese, and a cake even larger than the one I'd scarfed down a few nights ago sitting off on a nearby counter. Despite that, and the line of drool I can feel slowly forming on the edge of my mouth, I don't feel like eating.
What did it even mean to be hungry and yet not want to eat? Was I failing my nature as a [Calamity of Gluttony]? I didn't think so, but at this moment, I wasn't sure if it would bother me if I were.
"If I'd known, well…" El laughs in a way that doesn't sound like there was anything funny. "Let's fix some plates, and we can discuss where to go next."
"Ok." Maybe talking about our first real adventure would help dispel the weird feelings in my chest.
Despite agreeing, I don't move. After a moment El rubs a hand on top of my head. When I look up at her, she grins faintly. "Go find a chair. Just this once, I'll get some food for you."
"Ok."
El mosies over to a table laden with the promised feast and starts to fill two plates with food. After watching her spoon the cheesy casserole onto a pair of plates, I turn and find a plush, cushiony chair set on one side of a low table. With a quiet flop, I fall into the cushions, only to flinch as Markus chirps loudly in my ear.
"Sorry."
"Chirp."
"I don't know. I feel empty but not hungry-empty and also hungry-empty." I didn't really have words to describe what I was feeling. Not only had I never felt any of them before, I wasn't sure whether it was a [Calamity] sort of thing to feel. After all, it had never bothered me that I'd killed-
My genius mind kicks that thought out of my brain before it can finish forming, and a moment later, El returns with dinner crammed in her arms.
My stomach growls as she sets the biggest plate down in front of me. It's laden down with a dozen slices of beef oozing beef juice onto adjacent piles of cheesy noodles and a green vegetable my infallible memory told me was asparagus. Next, she sets down a bowl full of rolls and some saucers of butter and jam, as well as a bowl of roasted nuts for Markus. Finally, she sets down her own plate and then drags another of the cushiony chairs up to the table.
"Today's been a day, hasn't it?"
El slides a fork and knife across the table to me. When I catch both of them, she picks up her spoon and dips it into the casserole. A string of cheese stretches halfway up to her mouth before snapping. My stomach growls. She bites into the noodles covered in cheese and makes a loud sound of enjoyment.
"Macaroni au gratin is what they call it when it's three gold a plate, but you can find mac and cheese pretty much everywhere." She scoops a second bite, one that looks just as cheesy and delicious as the first one. My stomach growls. "It's one of the only good things peasants have ever created."
"Although…"
El muses to herself as she reaches out to the rolls and plucks out the golden-brownest of them all. She splits it with her knife and then carefully wedges a thick slice of roasted meat between the two sides. She takes a delicate bite, her teeth carefully tearing through bread and meat that looked so tender that it might just melt in her mouth. My stomach growls.
"You can't go wrong with a simple sandwich either." She polishes off her sandwich in another handful of bites, and I feel my hands twitch toward my silverware.
"Eat all you want, Ciel. There's plenty more in the kitchen." She smiles as she sticks her fork through a pair of asparagus spears and I listen as they crunch delightfully as she bites into them. "It's important for a growing girl to eat her vegetables too, and asparagus is the best of that sorry lot."
"Chirp." I turn to look at Markus and watch as he bites the head off a roasted almond.
"And there's always cake for dessert." I turn back to El and watch as she takes a bite out of a piece of roast, this time without a roll.
My stomach growls and growls and growls—the weird, not-hungry emptiness snaps. I reach out for my dinner.
I slump down in my chair to give my belly more room to breathe. My thoughts were sluggish, caught in the haze of too much delicious food, but I felt better. The name of a would-be teammate carved into stone still hovers in my memory, but it was just there. It was not overwhelming me with questions I didn't know how to answer. It was just sitting in my mind with an almost familiar weight.
"While you were recovering, reports started to come in." My teammate draws me from contemplation of my belly poking out from beneath my shirt. "It seems the [Calamity] is true to her words. Every city-state on the continent is bedeviled by some sort of problem."
With a whisper of [Miniature Map] and a flicker of mana, a glowing white map of Dynegard materializes in the space where our dinner had been an hour ago.
"To the north, the clans of the Jhoral mountains have apparently started to lose contact with their outposts and mining runs." The map flickers, and a red circle wraps around a jagged, v-shaped mountain range covered in snow-topped peaks. "Quests have been issued by the dozens for adventurers to come and investigate what's happening. The dwarves place great stock in reciprocity, so any successes we have will see us rewarded far beyond what's on the quest flier. If we want to get some better weapons and armor, we couldn't do much better than the Jhoral mountains."
I nod at that but stay silent. A new sword or shield would be cool, but since I was a soon-to-be-[Hero], I was sure I'd get my relic-level weapons whenever it was narratively appropriate.
"Alternatively, we could go south. It's a bit longer of a trip to Belizia than the rest of our options, but due to its status as the continent's largest port city, Belizia is by far the richest of our options. Not that money's that important, but still." A second red circle wraps around a city positioned at the end of a tapered peninsula.
"What's wrong with them?"
"Pirates. Which is pretty common for them, but there are rumors of a [Pirate King] and an impenetrable fog bank." El shrugs. "The reports are still very preliminary. Apparently, the only survivor is currently a gibbering wreck."
"If you don't like mountains or the ocean, there's always the desert, specifically Awanu." my teammate grins, "Where there are hundreds of reports about a permanent sandstorm that started after some kind of earthquake."
A third circle encloses an oasis in the heart of the Sandswept lands. "There's also a single report of some kind of city being hidden behind that sandstorm, but even by the standards of adventurers, this report is considered unreliable."
My larger form didn't like sand too much. It got in between my armor plates and made an unpleasant grinding noise as it was reduced to powder. Fortunately, that wouldn't be a problem this time.
"Our final option is into the ancient forests of Lothenar." This time, instead of a neat circle, a jagged shape wraps around a vast, forested area. "Unlike the other city-states, Lothenar is more a confederacy of small towns and villages. Though they do have seasonal meeting sites that have accumulated some of the detritus of civilization over the centuries."
"Here, the situation is much more straightforward. At least depending on whether you believe in fairy tales. The reports all say one thing: three nights ago, a horn resounded across the length and breadth of the territory. They say the Wild Hunt has been called."
I nod as I commit the four options to my perfect memory. Each of them sounded like a lot of fun. I wasn't sure why El was asking me, though. "I thought I wasn't allowed to make plans."
"You aren't." My teammate smirks while Markus rolls onto his belly so he can chirp out an agreement. "But since you're our leader, I think you should be the one to decide where we go."
"In that case, let's go:
[] "North to the Jhoral mountains."
[] "South to Belizia"
[] "West into Awanu."
[] "East into Lothenar."
[AN]
This marks the end of the first arc of Ciel's story, and I find myself oddly proud of it. Beyond wanting to write a fun and cute (and hopefully funny) story about a girl who wants to be a hero even though she has very little idea of what that means, I wanted to write a story about a girl starting to grow up and learn what it means to be "human". I think I managed both, at least a little bit, but I would love any feedback anyone wants to give on where I could do better (either in the chapters that have been written or suggestions for going forward).
Also, bonus points for speculation about what's happening in each of the four directions.
"Chirp."
I frown at furry-Markus. "No. She gave it to me."
Markus deliberately hops off my bed and back to the dresser, where he wraps the edge of my scarf around his furry-shoulders like a cloak. He looked good like that, almost debonair, with the way the red of the scarf matched the brown and red of his fur. Still, I wasn't going to give up that easily.
"It's too big for you." I point out the obvious. "It was made for a girl, not a squirrel."
Markus chirps dismissively and turns to El.
My teammate shakes her head, "This is a dumb argument, and I refuse to get involved."
"Yeah, plus she wasn't even there when I got the scarf. How would she even know?"
Markus wiggles his way even deeper into the scarf until only his eyes and whiskers are free. I could feel myself losing the argument to his cuteness. I had to rally, but I couldn't just go over and take it from him—that wouldn't be [Heroic] at all. I would have to rely on my genius mind to come up with an unbeatable argument.
My mind fractures into fractal patterns and then reforms. That was brilliant. There was no way he could argue with me now.
"I had it first."
"Chirp." That wasn't a fair argument at all; just because he was wearing it right now didn't make it his.
"If I hadn't been asleep for so long, I'd still be wearing it."
I point out completely reasonably, only to get a roll of his eyes in response. Well, if that didn't work, then I had another row of teeth to grow.
"El," I turned to my partner, my favorite teammate, my best and first future sidekick. "He's trying to steal my scarf from me; make him give it back."
"I already said I wasn't getting involved."
I gasp inside myself. This was it. This was the betrayal my books had warned me about. My team was conspiring to steal my fluffy scarf from me while I was too weak to stop them. I fumble with the sheets wrapped around me as I scoot toward the edge of the bed. I couldn't let this go; I had to do something.
El sighs as her kind-of-purple, kind-of-blue eyes flick back and forth between Markus and me. After a moment, her eyes roll to the sky, and she mutters something like, 'Why me?' followed by, 'I'm surrounded by fucking children.'
"But since I did say I would be doing the thinking from now on, why don't we find this old woman and have her make a second scarf?"
"Yeah!" My head perks up as my team's betrayal vanishes. "We can get a tiny one just for Markus."
"Chirp."
"I don't need a scarf; I already have one."
"Chirp."
"If it were yours, it would be squirrel-sized."
"Chirp."
"Nuh-uh."
"Chirp."
"Nuh-uh."
"Chi-"
"Ok, both of you shut up." El cuts off our argument with a glare. "We'll let the old lady decide."
"Chirp."
"It is fair. It's not my fault that she likes me more."
"Chirp."
"Yes, she does."
"Chirp."
"Uh-huh."
"Chirp."
"Uh-"
"Dead gods, let's go." El reaches out to wrap her hand around my arm and starts tugging. Thanks to my [Enhanced Strength], I don't move. "Ugh, fine. I'll be outside whenever you two are done with this stupidity."
I barely pay attention as she leaves. I had an argument to win. "Uh-huh."
"Chirp."
The first thing El does when she sees Markus and I walk out of her townhouse is scowl. I wasn't sure why. It had only taken us another twenty minutes before he and I had compromised by wrapping the scarf around both of our necks.
Maybe she secretly wanted a scarf of her own and was jealous that she didn't have one. Or maybe she just thought Markus looked ridiculous with a scarf bigger than he was wrapped around him like a shawl but didn't want to say so since she'd promised to be neutral.
I open my mouth to ask, but before I can say anything, I'm cut off by the stomping of her boots as she marches over to us. "I'm going to guess neither of you two have any idea how to actually find this woman."
"Chirp."
"Of course I do." Markus and I reply at the same time. I turn to look at him and lift my chin in a magnanimous request to respond first. Once again, El interrupts before I can say anything.
"An idea that doesn't involve wandering around aimlessly until we run into them?"
I grin happily; it's amazing that my teammate has already come to understand me so well. "How'd you guess?"
On my shoulder, Markus flops down to his belly and covers his face with a pair of fuzzy paws. Did they both know me so well that they could anticipate my genius plans? I was such a lucky [Hero]-to-be to have such attentive teammates.
"Because you're an idiot."
I frown slightly at that. That wasn't right at all. I was a [Calamity] and a genius. Unfortunately, I couldn't exactly tell her that, so I responded in the time-honored way of little sister [Calamities] everywhere. "Am not."
"Yes, you are." El doesn't quite follow the formula of a proper argument and, in doing so, signifies that Markus was, in fact, the much better debater. I don't get a chance to tell her this because she continues in a way that was completely inappropriate for an argument. "It's why you're not allowed to think."
"Am not." Despite my partner's unconventional argument form, I wasn't going to deviate from tradition.
Instead of even responding to my rebuttal, she reaches out and flicks my forehead with her finger. Well, the joke was on her; with my [Thick Skin], I barely even felt it. I open my mouth to gloat about her feeble attack, but for a third time, I'm interrupted before I can respond.
"Save that for Markus. If we want to find this woman, I'll need some information. Who is she? Why is she here? Which gate did she enter? Did she look poor?"
That was a lot of questions. Questions that I would have been in trouble trying to answer were it not for my infallible memory. "She's an old lady with a whiny, old-man husband. They came through the same gate I did, and she made me a world-famous stew for dinner."
El looks at me with a strange flatness in her stare, doubtless amazed by my impeccable memory, before turning to Markus.
"Chirp. Chirp."
"Hmm…" my partner taps at her lips as she formulates a plan based on my expert memories and Markus's less interesting ones. "For an old farming couple that entered the Salmon Gate, there's really only one inn in that price range. Especially with that tavern burning down the other day."
"Those evil mercenaries didn't burn down her inn, did they?" I didn't think I could dislike mercenaries more than I already did, but if they ruined the inn one of my favorite people was staying at... Well, I couldn't do anything right now, but I'd remember them for the next time I went on a rampage.
"No, the Boar and Stag is several blocks away from that bit of stupidity." El looks at me with a meaningful stare, and I nod. Of course, no one would ever want to stay too near a mercenary company. It might be contagious. "We'll start there and ask around until we find her."
"Right." I agree and then step out to the front of my party. Now that the plan was decided, it was my turn to be in charge.
"Let's go!"
I step inside of a door marked by a plaque picturing a boar and a stag locked tusks to antlers in a duel hanging over it. A wide grin sweeps across my face. Unlike that terrible mercenary tavern, the Boar and Stag looked like the kind of inn a [Hero] could get her start at. It was still loud, of course, but with the sounds of people eating and carrying on low conversations rather than drunks trying to sing by mimicking a dying minotaur. The food also looked a lot nicer. The bread was plump and brown, the meat looked like meat rather than slices of sadness, and a delightful aroma of something sweet and spicy covered everything.
"Eugh, it smells like peasants."
El, on the other hand, doesn't seem nearly as enchanted as I am. I turn to look at Markus, but it seems he's fallen asleep. That was one vote for, one against, and an abstention, which meant it was an awesome inn—since I was the leader, my vote counted more.
"Come on, let's go see what's on the menu."
I grab El by the arm and pull her forward, and thanks to my [Enhanced Strength], she only stumbles once before allowing herself to be dragged on. It doesn't stop her from arguing, though.
"We came here to find your old lady, not to eat, Ciel."
"We can do both!" Food was important for a growing [Calamity], after all.
Her face twists like she stepped in something gross. "We are not eating here."
I frown at that; if we didn't, I wouldn't get to try the bread or whatever it was that smelled like honey and spices. "But-"
El's brow furrows in the way it does when she's thinking about something deeply. After a moment, she nods to herself and looks down at me. "You can either eat now, or I can have a meal delivered to us later."
What a villainous thing to do, making me choose between the two meal options. "Why not both?"
"Because that's not the plan."
Well, I couldn't argue with that. I had promised not to be involved in making plans. Still, if those were the options, I needed a critical piece of information before I could decide. "Will you order another cake?"
"If it means not having to eat here, sure."
"Yay!"
As long as the promise of cake isn't a lie, I'd take that over eating at an inn a hundred times out of a hundred. Maybe we could even get a noodle casserole this time or some crunchy green vegetables. I could hardly wait. In fact, I wipe discretely at the edges of my mouth in case there's any drool coming out. Now, all we had to do was find the nice old lady, and as my eyes landed on a woman threading through the tables, I knew exactly where to start.
I walk over toward the server and tug on one of the frilly edges of her apron.
"Hi. I'm Ciel, and this is Markus, and that's El." I grin widely as I lift my shoulder where my furry partner is still sleeping and then turn to where El is staring into space blankly. "We're looking for an old lady."
"Chirp."
"Who makes scarves." I interpret for Markus, because not everyone bothered to learn squirrel.
"That's nice, sweetheart, but what's that got to do with me." The waitress tries to pull her apron back, but thanks to my [Enhanced Strength], my hand doesn't even move.
"El said she'd stay here."
"That's not much help, kid." The waitress tugs at her apron a few more times before sighing. "What's she look like."
"She's an old woman. She makes scarves." I explain slowly since the waitress clearly wasn't getting it.
"That's- come on, kid. I've got orders to take," she tugs at her apron again, but it doesn't work.
"Oh, and she makes a world-famous Reitz Stew." I cut her off as my impeccable memory kicks me.
"A stew?" The waitress stops tugging and starts thinking, thankfully, because I was worried her apron would start to rip. "Are you talking about Marta? Married a man named Henrick and left to go farm somewhere."
Markus chirps, and I nod. That was her.
"Second floor, number 8. She got a bit banged up with the…" Her voice trails off, and her eyes go a bit blank.
"Thanks, miss."
With that, I let go of her apron, not really noticing that she just stood there for a few moments before shaking her head and walking off. I had a direction and a teammate to show how good my plans really were. If I kept this up, she'd be out of a job in thinking for me.
"Come on, El. I found her."
"Well, I suppose it's better than staying here."
"Hi, old lady; Markus and I came to see how you were." I slam open the door with my [Enhanced Strength] and grin.
"Ciel?" A frail-sounding voice emanates from a pile of pillows and blankets in a bed set beneath a nice window. "What are you doing here?"
I race into the room and stop a step before I collide with the bed. "Markus and I are arguing over which one of us you gave the scarf to."
"Oh, and look. I'm an adventurer now. D-Rank." I raise my arm, and Markus raises his a second later. Then I point over to where El was awkwardly hovering in the doorway. "That's my teammate, El, over there with a frowny face."
"I'm not frowning, you idiot," El steps inside the room and shuts the door behind her. She steps one step further in and then stops with a half-smile on her face. "I apologize for the interruption… and for Ciel, I suppose. I've been trying, but she's yet housetrained."
That wasn't true at all. In my bigger form, I converted everything I ate into raw mana without a bit of waste. As for my smaller form, well… I shake my head. I was absolutely housetrained. I open my mouth to say so, but the old lady smiles and lifts her hand slowly out of her pillow fort.
"I'm Marta. It's good to see you, dear." A smile crosses her face as I reach out to grasp her hand with my own. A moment later, Markus scampers down to place his hand on top of ours. "After that monster attacked, I was worried…"
"You don't have to worry about that." I chime in when she trails off. "El and Markus and I will take care of her."
"We will?"
I wasn't quite sure what to make of my teammate's doubtful tone, at least until my infallible memory poked me, and I realized that I'd not actually told her that I was going to be a [Hero]. Still, even if I hadn't mentioned it—some things were much better if they came as a surprise—that didn't change the fact that we were adventurers.
"Of course we will; that's what adventurers do."
El stares at me for a moment before shrugging and sighing, "I suppose it is."
"See." I turn back to the old lady and smile. "You don't have a thing to worry about."
"I see that." The old woman pulls her hand back, and it flops down to the bed. She looks down at her hand and frowns. "I'm sorry, dear. I was hit pretty badly by that monster's spell, and it's been taking a while for me to recover."
"Did she hit you with the-" I cut off before I can mention [Bloodrose] since that was certainly one of my [Calamity] secrets. "I mean, did she break your bones and impale you through the chest and legs, too?"
"No, it-" the old lady stops her explanation as her eyes drill in on me. "What was that, dear? Too?"
"I charged m- the [Calamity], and she broke a bunch of bones and stabbed me with a whip in a bunch of places and-"
El's hand lands on my shoulder and squeezes so tightly that if I didn't have [Thick Skin], it might have hurt a bit. "If I had known this idiot was stupid enough to charge a [Calamity], I would have kept her on a leash."
"I'm alright now, though." I raise my arms and flex my tiny arms to prove the point. "She only almost killed me."
The old lady frowns at me while El's fingers try uselessly to dig into my shoulder. "El, is it?"
"More or less." My partner cleverly disguises her fake name while not lying to the nice old woman.
"Hmm…" The old lady stares at both of us for a moment. "Well, I'm glad you've found some good friends, Ciel."
"Yep!" I agree almost instantly. I had the best team a soon-to-be-[Hero] could ask for. "El is the teammate with the secret past that I learn about in the second book, and Markus is the [Rogue] with a heart of gold."
Both El and Markus stare at me after I say that, but they let the old woman speak first. "That sounds lovely."
"It's great, I-"
I'm about to tell her all about how we found a brand new dungeon and then were really responsible and rescued a bunch of people and defended the city, but before I can, my genius mind pokes me. I turn to El with a panicked look.
"She's hurt!"
"Your genius never ceases to amaze me."
Despite my chest fluttering at the words, I don't have time to bask in the feeling. "You can praise me later, El. We need to get her some of the potions that put my bones and organs back where they belonged."
"That's definitely what that was…" my teammates sighs in agreement. "Top-grade healing potions are expensive, Ciel."
"Use the gold we got for saving the city, then," I tell her, somewhat surprised that I had to suggest money stuff to her. She was supposed to be the money-smart sidekick.
"They didn't give us…"
My face twists up at that. I did [Hero] stuff; even the guildmaster said so. Surely, the city had lavished us with gold and fancy weapons and roasted cows.
"Oh, right… that reward." I wasn't sure why El's voice sounded so flat, but maybe she was just ashamed of not having an infallible memory like me. "Yeah. Let me take care of that. You three have fun here."
El comes back when I'm halfway through telling the nice old lady about how we rescued a bunch of people from the blood-slimes. "And El went *pew pew pew* with her fire bolts while I stomped on slime-goblin heads, and Markus bravely stayed back and led people to safety."
"Chirp."
"I am not downplaying your contributions just because I want her to say it's been my scarf all along." Which was a rude and totally unfair accusation from my furry-teammate.
"Chirp."
"Nuh-uh."
"Chirp."
"Nuh-"
"Ciel, Markus. Shut. Up."
Despite wanting to win my argument, the current of violent rage in my teammate's voice stops me. Normally, when my sisters got that angry at me, it was accompanied by [Void Blades] and [Decohesion Beams]—it was how I knew they were serious.
"Here, Miss Marta." El holds out a bright green potion. "Straight from our share of the reward for saving the city."
"Are you sure, dear?" The nice old lady looks at the bottle for a moment, but when my teammate nods, she reaches out to grab it. "Thank you."
My teammates and I watch as she uncorks the bottle and brings it to her lips. She downs the liquid in a single gulp, and a flash of color returns to her face. A moment later, she kicks herself free from her blanket fortress and edges over to the side of her bed. She pushes herself upright and moves over to El, who takes a step back with a slight shaking of her head. Then she turns to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders.
"Thank you, dear."
I stand still, momentarily confused about what to do. No one other than my sisters had ever hugged me before. Eventually, I decide to bring my arms up around her waist and squeeze, though I'm careful not to use my [Enhanced Strength]. After a long moment, she pulls back, her eyes blinking rapidly.
"So," I ask as she looks down at me. "Was the scarf for me or Markus."
"Hah!" the old lady cackles once and smiles fondly. "How about I make a second one so you both have one."
It's afternoon by the time we leave. Markus is wrapped up in a lame, way-too-big-scarf, while I have a cool ribbon-scarf tied into my hair. "We should go talk to those adventurers we fought with. You know, the cat-girl and the red-haired guy."
"Ciel, I don't think that's a good idea." El turns down my genius idea with a strange sort of look.
Why was she looking at me like that? She didn't seem happy about meeting our temporary partners at all. But why? Fighting blood-slimes with them had been so cool. Was she jealous that I would think one of them was cooler than she was? I'd have to ask later; for now, I had yet another argument to win.
"Come on. She punched slime-monsters to death, and he exploded them with his mace."
My teammate stares at me in the same kind of way my sisters do when they're being weird. "Ciel, they're-"
My head bobs as I agree. "Yeah, they definitely got promoted just like we did. I bet we can all celebrate getting our new ranks together."
"Ciel…" El says my name in a way that sounds kind of like a sigh.
I frown. This wasn't the enthusiastic approval that I thought my idea would receive. "Is this one of those plan things I don't get a say in? Because I really want to see them."
"They're dead, Ciel."
My face twists in incomprehension, and my eyes fall to the ground. How could they be dead? They were side characters in my [Hero] story. People like that don't die. "But I wanted to eat roasted cow with them—or raw cow if cat-girls prefer that, I'm not sure. We would sing songs, and there'd be cake, and then we'd swap adventurer stories."
El places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. I look up at her and blink something out of my eyes. "The guild put up a memorial for the adventurers who died during the attack. Do you want to go see it?"
Do I? I don't know. Maybe. Kind of. And yet...
"Come on, let's go pay our respects." El smiles softly at me, and I nod.
"Their names were Othara and Voyce," El murmurs quietly as the three of us stand in front of a small stone plinth guarded by the drooping branches of a willow tree and inscribed with dozens of names.
My eyes trace the names written on the memorial stone before they stop on Othara Qestel. My mouth moves, but no sound comes out. Othara was almost my teammate instead of El. Would she still be alive if she were? Would El be dead in her place? My breath catches in my throat at the thought. It didn't seem fair that the difference between dying and not was that close.
My thoughts chase themselves in circles, but even my genius mind can't find any answers. I turn to look at El, perhaps hoping that she would have answers to my questions, but she doesn't turn away from the stone.
Maybe there were no answers.
I blink away something in my eyes and reach out to trace her name with my fingers. It felt strange that I had never learned it in life, and now, thanks to my infallible memory, I will never forget it.
My eyes unfocus as I take in the names around hers. Was this all there was in the end? A name on a stone in a quiet park near the adventurer's guild. What about the guards who died out there? Or the civilians? Was Reitzland full of parks and memorial stones with the names of the dead carved upon them?
I look away from the stone. Not that it matters. It's already burned into my perfect memory. But at least the clattering of those unanswerable questions in my head quiets down.
"Can we go home now?"
"Yeah, let's go."
True to her promise, from what I was certain was weeks ago, but my infallible memory tells me was actually earlier in the afternoon; an extravagant feast is waiting when we get back to El's townhouse. My stomach grumbles at the sight of juicy meat, golden-brown rolls, a casserole covered in bright orange cheese, and a cake even larger than the one I'd scarfed down a few nights ago sitting off on a nearby counter. Despite that, and the line of drool I can feel slowly forming on the edge of my mouth, I don't feel like eating.
What did it even mean to be hungry and yet not want to eat? Was I failing my nature as a [Calamity of Gluttony]? I didn't think so, but at this moment, I wasn't sure if it would bother me if I were.
"If I'd known, well…" El laughs in a way that doesn't sound like there was anything funny. "Let's fix some plates, and we can discuss where to go next."
"Ok." Maybe talking about our first real adventure would help dispel the weird feelings in my chest.
Despite agreeing, I don't move. After a moment El rubs a hand on top of my head. When I look up at her, she grins faintly. "Go find a chair. Just this once, I'll get some food for you."
"Ok."
El mosies over to a table laden with the promised feast and starts to fill two plates with food. After watching her spoon the cheesy casserole onto a pair of plates, I turn and find a plush, cushiony chair set on one side of a low table. With a quiet flop, I fall into the cushions, only to flinch as Markus chirps loudly in my ear.
"Sorry."
"Chirp."
"I don't know. I feel empty but not hungry-empty and also hungry-empty." I didn't really have words to describe what I was feeling. Not only had I never felt any of them before, I wasn't sure whether it was a [Calamity] sort of thing to feel. After all, it had never bothered me that I'd killed-
My genius mind kicks that thought out of my brain before it can finish forming, and a moment later, El returns with dinner crammed in her arms.
My stomach growls as she sets the biggest plate down in front of me. It's laden down with a dozen slices of beef oozing beef juice onto adjacent piles of cheesy noodles and a green vegetable my infallible memory told me was asparagus. Next, she sets down a bowl full of rolls and some saucers of butter and jam, as well as a bowl of roasted nuts for Markus. Finally, she sets down her own plate and then drags another of the cushiony chairs up to the table.
"Today's been a day, hasn't it?"
El slides a fork and knife across the table to me. When I catch both of them, she picks up her spoon and dips it into the casserole. A string of cheese stretches halfway up to her mouth before snapping. My stomach growls. She bites into the noodles covered in cheese and makes a loud sound of enjoyment.
"Macaroni au gratin is what they call it when it's three gold a plate, but you can find mac and cheese pretty much everywhere." She scoops a second bite, one that looks just as cheesy and delicious as the first one. My stomach growls. "It's one of the only good things peasants have ever created."
"Although…"
El muses to herself as she reaches out to the rolls and plucks out the golden-brownest of them all. She splits it with her knife and then carefully wedges a thick slice of roasted meat between the two sides. She takes a delicate bite, her teeth carefully tearing through bread and meat that looked so tender that it might just melt in her mouth. My stomach growls.
"You can't go wrong with a simple sandwich either." She polishes off her sandwich in another handful of bites, and I feel my hands twitch toward my silverware.
"Eat all you want, Ciel. There's plenty more in the kitchen." She smiles as she sticks her fork through a pair of asparagus spears and I listen as they crunch delightfully as she bites into them. "It's important for a growing girl to eat her vegetables too, and asparagus is the best of that sorry lot."
"Chirp." I turn to look at Markus and watch as he bites the head off a roasted almond.
"And there's always cake for dessert." I turn back to El and watch as she takes a bite out of a piece of roast, this time without a roll.
My stomach growls and growls and growls—the weird, not-hungry emptiness snaps. I reach out for my dinner.
I slump down in my chair to give my belly more room to breathe. My thoughts were sluggish, caught in the haze of too much delicious food, but I felt better. The name of a would-be teammate carved into stone still hovers in my memory, but it was just there. It was not overwhelming me with questions I didn't know how to answer. It was just sitting in my mind with an almost familiar weight.
"While you were recovering, reports started to come in." My teammate draws me from contemplation of my belly poking out from beneath my shirt. "It seems the [Calamity] is true to her words. Every city-state on the continent is bedeviled by some sort of problem."
With a whisper of [Miniature Map] and a flicker of mana, a glowing white map of Dynegard materializes in the space where our dinner had been an hour ago.
"To the north, the clans of the Jhoral mountains have apparently started to lose contact with their outposts and mining runs." The map flickers, and a red circle wraps around a jagged, v-shaped mountain range covered in snow-topped peaks. "Quests have been issued by the dozens for adventurers to come and investigate what's happening. The dwarves place great stock in reciprocity, so any successes we have will see us rewarded far beyond what's on the quest flier. If we want to get some better weapons and armor, we couldn't do much better than the Jhoral mountains."
I nod at that but stay silent. A new sword or shield would be cool, but since I was a soon-to-be-[Hero], I was sure I'd get my relic-level weapons whenever it was narratively appropriate.
"Alternatively, we could go south. It's a bit longer of a trip to Belizia than the rest of our options, but due to its status as the continent's largest port city, Belizia is by far the richest of our options. Not that money's that important, but still." A second red circle wraps around a city positioned at the end of a tapered peninsula.
"What's wrong with them?"
"Pirates. Which is pretty common for them, but there are rumors of a [Pirate King] and an impenetrable fog bank." El shrugs. "The reports are still very preliminary. Apparently, the only survivor is currently a gibbering wreck."
"If you don't like mountains or the ocean, there's always the desert, specifically Awanu." my teammate grins, "Where there are hundreds of reports about a permanent sandstorm that started after some kind of earthquake."
A third circle encloses an oasis in the heart of the Sandswept lands. "There's also a single report of some kind of city being hidden behind that sandstorm, but even by the standards of adventurers, this report is considered unreliable."
My larger form didn't like sand too much. It got in between my armor plates and made an unpleasant grinding noise as it was reduced to powder. Fortunately, that wouldn't be a problem this time.
"Our final option is into the ancient forests of Lothenar." This time, instead of a neat circle, a jagged shape wraps around a vast, forested area. "Unlike the other city-states, Lothenar is more a confederacy of small towns and villages. Though they do have seasonal meeting sites that have accumulated some of the detritus of civilization over the centuries."
"Here, the situation is much more straightforward. At least depending on whether you believe in fairy tales. The reports all say one thing: three nights ago, a horn resounded across the length and breadth of the territory. They say the Wild Hunt has been called."
I nod as I commit the four options to my perfect memory. Each of them sounded like a lot of fun. I wasn't sure why El was asking me, though. "I thought I wasn't allowed to make plans."
"You aren't." My teammate smirks while Markus rolls onto his belly so he can chirp out an agreement. "But since you're our leader, I think you should be the one to decide where we go."
"In that case, let's go:
[] "North to the Jhoral mountains."
[] "South to Belizia"
[] "West into Awanu."
[] "East into Lothenar."
[AN]
This marks the end of the first arc of Ciel's story, and I find myself oddly proud of it. Beyond wanting to write a fun and cute (and hopefully funny) story about a girl who wants to be a hero even though she has very little idea of what that means, I wanted to write a story about a girl starting to grow up and learn what it means to be "human". I think I managed both, at least a little bit, but I would love any feedback anyone wants to give on where I could do better (either in the chapters that have been written or suggestions for going forward).
Also, bonus points for speculation about what's happening in each of the four directions.
In which a Villainous plan begins to unfold
Ashetaroth smirked as the [Hellfire Portal] closed behind her. On another day, she would never have bothered Ri'ankor'mal in her sanctum—for many, many reasons. But not today. Not when she had the juiciest bit of news to share. And who better to share it with than her dear sister Ri'ankor'mal? After all, Pride and lust had so very much in common.
Reaching out with spectral fingers, Ashe plucked a strand of mana woven into the wards that surrounded the otherwise non-descript sitting room she found herself in. Moments later, a doorway materialized in the uniform wooden paneling, and a female figure appeared.
The servant was wrapped in a robe that revealed far more than it concealed... and what it concealed could still clearly be seen through the gossamer thin fabric. Despite having seen far too many of the different ways her sister had dressed up her toys over the years, Ashe barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. This skipped right past innuendo and went straight to indecent.
In fact, it was an outfit that could only be considered clothing by the [Calamity of Lust], one that not even her sister could mistake it for tasteful, surely. Still, while the costumes of inferior beings were beneath her, Ashe knew mortals well enough to realize that the sight of her sister's toys dressed like this would have—and doubtless had at one point—driven many of them wild with lust.
Were it not for the toy's perfectly smooth, entirely featureless face—though perhaps there were mortals who would still be enticed by such an eldritch display. That, at least, was familiar, and a welcome reminder that whatever games her sister played, she was still a [Calamity].
Her sister offered many prizes to mortals foolish enough to call upon her, and when their time came due, they all paid for their gifts far more than they could have imagined. Compared to some of the ends Ashe had seen the [Father of Monsters] inflict upon her toys, this was a kind fate. One Ri'ankor reserved for those who met her exacting standards of beauty.
"Where is my sister?"
The [Faceless] curtseyed deeply in a way that sent the gossamer fabric of her robe spilling over her shoulders and revealing an unnecessary amount of flesh. Ashe looked just long verify that the servant was inferior to her in all ways—as was only appropriate—before dismissing the creature's appearance altogether. There were only six beings she would accept as being even remotely close to her perfection.
Despite not having a mouth with which to speak, the [Faceless]'s voice echoed melodically. "She is in the solar, Lady Pride."
Without a word, Ashe glided off. She would accept no guidance from one of her sister's toys. Not even if she had to open every door in this morass of sexuality and folded space her sister called home. Which she had never done—despite what Ri-ankor would have her other sisters believe.
Moments of walking down a corridor that only seemed to stretch further apart as she approached the end has her reconsidering her moment of graciousness in sharing her gossip. Another dozen footsteps have her reconsidering just how much damage [Annihilation] would do to the carefully constructed web of wards and spatial charms.
Fortunately for her sister's palace, the door to the solar appeared immediately on the tail of that pleasant thought. Without bothering to knock, Ashe kicked open the door and walked in. A frown crossed her face almost immediately as she saw her sister lounging like a cat atop a couch while a male and female [Faceless] massaged oil into her nude body.
"If that's my arrogant sister here for a lecture, she can come back tomorrow. Or never, if that works better." her sister didn't even lift her face from the pillows it was currently shoved in.
Ashe raised an eyebrow at that but let it go. While she would—and had—incinerate anyone else who spoke to her that directly. All that would get her here was a brawl with a sister who was covered in oil and would almost certainly refuse to put her clothes back on.
"If you'd rather be molested by your helpers, I can certainly go, but..." Ashe smirked as she let the pause build. "I had thought you more concerned about our dear little sister's fate."
"Ugh. You always know how to spoil a moment." With a wave of her hand, Ri'ankor violently ejected her [Faceless] from the room.
Despite not caring, Ashe could clearly hear as the two bodies landed with the dull crunch of what sounded like breaking bones. That conclusion was confirmed a moment later by the sound of a useless foot being dragged down the hallway. She sighed internally; her sister always took such poor care of her toys.
Her sister languidly rose from her chair and strutted—still entirely too nude—across marble floors until she finally—finally—slipped on a robe not much more modest than the ones the [Faceless] wore. Why was lust such a base thing? Why couldn't it be more like Pride?
"So, did our little piggy not get herself killed after all?"
Ri'ankor flopped into a reclining chair and then gestured to the one across from her. Ashe frowned at the implicit command—no one commanded Pride—before striding over to sit down beside her sister. Having a conversation while standing like that would be awkward.
"She was alive, yes." Ashe wasn't entirely convinced that their youngest sister could die. There was the essence of more than one God of Death moldering away in that Well their pig of a sister had consumed. Azatoth only knew what that had done to the little glutton. "More than that, she's hit upon a genius plan seemingly entirely by accident."
"Oh?" Ri'ankor leaned forward in a way that sent locks of midnight dark hair spilling over her shoulder and down into her generous cleavage.
Ashe sighed at how blatant the gesture was. "Must you?"
"We would make the most beautiful [Monster] together." her sister's seductiveness ended with an amused smirk, "but I can always try again later. Tell me about little Ciel."
"She's an adventurer now." Ashe paused so she could commit the look on her sister's face to memory, if only because she knew the next thing she was going to say would drown it in blood. "She wants to be a hero."
Her sister's eyebrows rose, and then her jaw dropped. Ashe just basked in the feeling of superiority. She'd never seen Ri'ankor as lost for words as she was at that moment. She would have to commit the memory of it to canvass so she could show it off to the rest of her sisters.
"A hero? Does she even know…"
"That divine influence is required for the creation of a true [Hero]? Or that there hasn't been an actual real-to-life [Hero] in a millennium?" Ashe shook her head and smirked. "No."
"And her dear oldest sister didn't even tell her." Her sister matched her smirk with an indulgent one of her own.
"Absolutely not." Ashe's smirk turned vicious, "After that little shit got lost in my lair, found my wine cellar, and drank everything inside, including the three-thousand-year-old bottle of Goldlake I was saving for when I decided to finally destroy Luminia."
"You had a bottle of Goldlake that you were keeping from me?"
Ashe rolled her eyes at the pout on her sister's face. If anyone could find a bottle of thousand-year-old wine from a dead continent, it would be the Queen-in-Shadow of Rainwall.
"As if I wouldn't find half a dozen bottles were I to wander into your cellar."
"It's not the possession; it's the intertwining of souls when you share something so precious." Her sister stretched languidly, showing off her curves in the kind of blatant display that Ashe was still occasionally amazed ever worked at all.
"It's not happening. The Old One you made with Soph's help is more than enough." Though it was nice to see one of the little ones from Azatoth's realm wandering the deep oceans of their new world.
"He's such a cute, miniature calamity, though." Ri'ankor shrugged voluptiously. "But we're not here to talk about my adorable children, are we?"
"Perhaps…"
Ashe let the silence after her statement linger just long enough for the lazy amusement in her sister's eyes to fade into a sharp, vicious focus. Good. Lust was at its best when it was singularly focused, just like Pride.
"Since our little sister wants to be a hero, I thought, who better to be the villain than us?" A slow smirk spread across her sister's face, and a moment later, she mirrored it. "And as I was plotting something worthy of that little piggy's attention, I thought of you, oh dear [Father of Monsters]."
"I'm listening."
Ashe smiled at the eagerness in her sister's words. "My minions will spread chaos and uncertainty, but I thought it only right that an internal fear be matched by something external."
"And just where do you intend to start." Ashe could clearly see the gears in her sister's mind begin to turn.
"The dwarven clans. Their dearly beloved king will die under mysterious and violent circumstances. Evidence will paint his sons as the hands that direct the knife. Then it won't take but a few whispers before the thanes are at each other's throats for the chance of winning a crown..."
"And you want one of my children to strike while they're distracted and bring the whole thing toppling down… unless our dear sister is there to save them, of course."
"Of course."
Ri'ankor leaned forward and steepled her fingers beneath her chin. "A dwarf digs too deep and unearths something she shouldn't. It's an old story, but sometimes the classics are the classics for a reason."
"You have something in mind?"
"A daughter of mine who does little more than eat my food and molest my [Faceless]." Her sister grinned maliciously, in the way Ashe imagined a parent finally finding a reason to kick their useless daughter out of the house would. "She can create hordes of monsters she calls [Darklings]—an interesting enough ability, though they are largely too weak to be useful in my plots. More interestingly, though, is that a drop of their blood will convert anyone it touches into a [Darkling] just like them—with their original skills and levels still somewhat intact."
"Then why is it not useful to you?" Ashe raised an eyebrow. That kind of skill seemed like it went hand in glove with her sister's approach to evil.
Ri'ankor sighed as if the heavens had personally declared vengeance upon her. "They're ugly. Serrated teeth, squished faces, misshapen, and deformed bodies. Like goblins, but worse."
That explained it. Her sister would ignore the keys to the [Infinite Vault] if it came in the hands of someone she deemed unattractive. "A horde of monsters that only grows larger the more foes it fights… please tell me enough remains of the mortals turned to [Darklings] to keep them recognizable."
"A few features here and there that a loved one might recognize, though they do tend to favor the weapons and armor they used before turning. The real amusement will come the first time someone casts [Identify] on them."
A slow, cruel smirk worked its way across Ashe's face as she realized what her sister was implying. Yes. She would gnaw at the foundations of dwarven society, while her sister's spawn would strike fear in the hearts of their bravest warriors.
"I knew I was right to share this with you, my dear sister."
"Anything for you, and our favorite little piggy."
"Push them back, you useless fucking slugs," Sorja shouted to the squad of heavily armored [Soldiers]—her squad of heavily armored [Soldiers]—as another wave of grotesque, misshapen goblin creatures rushed at them from out of the darkness. "I've got a birthday celebration to get to, and no fucking goblin's gonna make us late."
"Think yer kid's gonna have to celebrate without his mamma today," Norrin bellowed out as he brought his warhammer down on the skull of a monster, pulping its brain and almost half of its torso in one explosion of blood and gore. "These ain't worth the time it takes ta swing a hammer, but by the Forge, there's a lot of 'em."
"I promised that little shit that I'd get him a brand new crossbow, and I'll be damned if I let my husband win this time."
Sorja took a quick breath and released the hold she always kept on her most useful skill. [Boon of the Grunt] flowed out from her in cooling waves, and five dwarven backs perked up just an inch straighter. It wasn't much of a boon skill, but it had gotten her promoted to sergeant—and, more importantly, gotten her squad out of a dozen hairy scrapes over the years.
"Couldn'ta done that earlier, huh, sarge," Adrik shouted as he used the renewed vigor brought by her spell to disembowel three mutated goblins as they rushed heedlessly toward him.
"It's for difficult encounters. Not pissants like this." In fact, if it weren't for Kai's birthday... Sorja bashed her shield into a goblin and used the space when it dropped to carve out the throat of the next one in line.
A spray of blood makes its way through the vents on her visor and splatters across her lips. She gags slightly at the rancid taste but doesn't have the space to lift her helmet and spit it clear.
Come to me…
A thought activated the [Rune of Fire] etched into her sword, and it starts to glow like metal pulled straight from the forge. A moment later, blood and flesh sizzle as she carved a wide arc into the monsters attacking her squad.
Follow me…
Sorja grinned viciously as the monsters began to scramble back from her burning blade—there were definitely benefits to having a [Runecarver] for a husband—and used the space to look around the rest of the skirmish.
Adrik and Norrin were teamed up with their backs set against the stone as they fought off a dozen of the goblin monsters. Good. It meant they still had their heads enough to remember their training. Another dozen or so, and she'd wade over there to help, but as it was, a pair of dwarves properly braced by stone could fight off ten times their number. Further into the fray, Birgit and Inka were turning goblins into smears of blood with their war hammers almost as fast as they could approach.
Obey me…
Yes. Her first two squadmates were too well protected, but… Sorja licked her lips, trying to get another taste of that blood. She would help Inka first, and together, they would move on to the rest. Quickly, she darted through the skirmish, her shield and burning sword raised in defense, but none of the remaining goblins dared to attack.
A dwarf with a long, blonde plait poking out the back of her helmet—one that she refused to cut despite it violating the regs—turned. "Come to fight with the rest of the gals, huh, sarge?"
"You," her voice was hoarse, as though she'd been shouting for hours. Sorja swallowed through a parched throat. "Looked like you needed a bit of help."
"Nah, me an' Birgi-"
The soldier's voice cut off with a strangled cry as a blade of molten metal speared straight through her gorget and into her neck. A chorus of confused shouts emanated from her former squad, but Sorja didn't care.
She ripped the helmet free from the dying dwarf's face and slammed her down into a puddle of gore and blood—all that remained of her mother's first [Darkling] spawn. "Thirsty. So thirsty. Drink Brigit. Drink and be-"
A solid object collided with the back of Sorja's helmet, and she saw no more.
Four indistinct figures, wrought from moonlight and trailing a faintly acrid smoke behind them, ghost into a palatial bed-chamber. They slip through wards charged with the cleansing fire of retribution and fade to nothingness as they brush past quiescent strands of clairvoyance. Further into this sanctum, they move, past gold and tapestry and baubles of arcane provenance, to the very foot of a four-postered bed draped in thick ripples of crimson silk and velvet.
It is here they behold their target.
Time slows to a near halt. Four blades, darker than pitch, rise. Four blades fall.
A king dies.
Blood feeds. Blood spreads. Blood calls to blood.
Dwarven outposts grow dark. Betrayed and consumed by the ones who had promised to protect them. The [Soldiers] who would have stemmed this tide and formed the armies that would have eliminated this scourge with Rune and Fire are instead kept close, for there was a prize worth any price awaiting—the throne.
In the dark of a long-forgotten Thaig, a pair of sapphire eyes slowly blink open.
In lieu of something directly related to the interlude, you have a different choice. Ciel and her team are currently packing for their trip north. They will most certainly forget something. The only question is, what?
[] Food.
[] Books and entertainment.
[] Camping supplies.
[] Manastones.
[] Warm clothing.
[AN]
I had intended to put more in this chapter, but my weekend was rather hectic, so I had to cut back. I may flesh out this chapter further at some point (I certainly need to do an editing pass of the first arc), but we'll see how much motivation I can find.
Reaching out with spectral fingers, Ashe plucked a strand of mana woven into the wards that surrounded the otherwise non-descript sitting room she found herself in. Moments later, a doorway materialized in the uniform wooden paneling, and a female figure appeared.
The servant was wrapped in a robe that revealed far more than it concealed... and what it concealed could still clearly be seen through the gossamer thin fabric. Despite having seen far too many of the different ways her sister had dressed up her toys over the years, Ashe barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. This skipped right past innuendo and went straight to indecent.
In fact, it was an outfit that could only be considered clothing by the [Calamity of Lust], one that not even her sister could mistake it for tasteful, surely. Still, while the costumes of inferior beings were beneath her, Ashe knew mortals well enough to realize that the sight of her sister's toys dressed like this would have—and doubtless had at one point—driven many of them wild with lust.
Were it not for the toy's perfectly smooth, entirely featureless face—though perhaps there were mortals who would still be enticed by such an eldritch display. That, at least, was familiar, and a welcome reminder that whatever games her sister played, she was still a [Calamity].
Her sister offered many prizes to mortals foolish enough to call upon her, and when their time came due, they all paid for their gifts far more than they could have imagined. Compared to some of the ends Ashe had seen the [Father of Monsters] inflict upon her toys, this was a kind fate. One Ri'ankor reserved for those who met her exacting standards of beauty.
"Where is my sister?"
The [Faceless] curtseyed deeply in a way that sent the gossamer fabric of her robe spilling over her shoulders and revealing an unnecessary amount of flesh. Ashe looked just long verify that the servant was inferior to her in all ways—as was only appropriate—before dismissing the creature's appearance altogether. There were only six beings she would accept as being even remotely close to her perfection.
Despite not having a mouth with which to speak, the [Faceless]'s voice echoed melodically. "She is in the solar, Lady Pride."
Without a word, Ashe glided off. She would accept no guidance from one of her sister's toys. Not even if she had to open every door in this morass of sexuality and folded space her sister called home. Which she had never done—despite what Ri-ankor would have her other sisters believe.
Moments of walking down a corridor that only seemed to stretch further apart as she approached the end has her reconsidering her moment of graciousness in sharing her gossip. Another dozen footsteps have her reconsidering just how much damage [Annihilation] would do to the carefully constructed web of wards and spatial charms.
Fortunately for her sister's palace, the door to the solar appeared immediately on the tail of that pleasant thought. Without bothering to knock, Ashe kicked open the door and walked in. A frown crossed her face almost immediately as she saw her sister lounging like a cat atop a couch while a male and female [Faceless] massaged oil into her nude body.
"If that's my arrogant sister here for a lecture, she can come back tomorrow. Or never, if that works better." her sister didn't even lift her face from the pillows it was currently shoved in.
Ashe raised an eyebrow at that but let it go. While she would—and had—incinerate anyone else who spoke to her that directly. All that would get her here was a brawl with a sister who was covered in oil and would almost certainly refuse to put her clothes back on.
"If you'd rather be molested by your helpers, I can certainly go, but..." Ashe smirked as she let the pause build. "I had thought you more concerned about our dear little sister's fate."
"Ugh. You always know how to spoil a moment." With a wave of her hand, Ri'ankor violently ejected her [Faceless] from the room.
Despite not caring, Ashe could clearly hear as the two bodies landed with the dull crunch of what sounded like breaking bones. That conclusion was confirmed a moment later by the sound of a useless foot being dragged down the hallway. She sighed internally; her sister always took such poor care of her toys.
Her sister languidly rose from her chair and strutted—still entirely too nude—across marble floors until she finally—finally—slipped on a robe not much more modest than the ones the [Faceless] wore. Why was lust such a base thing? Why couldn't it be more like Pride?
"So, did our little piggy not get herself killed after all?"
Ri'ankor flopped into a reclining chair and then gestured to the one across from her. Ashe frowned at the implicit command—no one commanded Pride—before striding over to sit down beside her sister. Having a conversation while standing like that would be awkward.
"She was alive, yes." Ashe wasn't entirely convinced that their youngest sister could die. There was the essence of more than one God of Death moldering away in that Well their pig of a sister had consumed. Azatoth only knew what that had done to the little glutton. "More than that, she's hit upon a genius plan seemingly entirely by accident."
"Oh?" Ri'ankor leaned forward in a way that sent locks of midnight dark hair spilling over her shoulder and down into her generous cleavage.
Ashe sighed at how blatant the gesture was. "Must you?"
"We would make the most beautiful [Monster] together." her sister's seductiveness ended with an amused smirk, "but I can always try again later. Tell me about little Ciel."
"She's an adventurer now." Ashe paused so she could commit the look on her sister's face to memory, if only because she knew the next thing she was going to say would drown it in blood. "She wants to be a hero."
Her sister's eyebrows rose, and then her jaw dropped. Ashe just basked in the feeling of superiority. She'd never seen Ri'ankor as lost for words as she was at that moment. She would have to commit the memory of it to canvass so she could show it off to the rest of her sisters.
"A hero? Does she even know…"
"That divine influence is required for the creation of a true [Hero]? Or that there hasn't been an actual real-to-life [Hero] in a millennium?" Ashe shook her head and smirked. "No."
"And her dear oldest sister didn't even tell her." Her sister matched her smirk with an indulgent one of her own.
"Absolutely not." Ashe's smirk turned vicious, "After that little shit got lost in my lair, found my wine cellar, and drank everything inside, including the three-thousand-year-old bottle of Goldlake I was saving for when I decided to finally destroy Luminia."
"You had a bottle of Goldlake that you were keeping from me?"
Ashe rolled her eyes at the pout on her sister's face. If anyone could find a bottle of thousand-year-old wine from a dead continent, it would be the Queen-in-Shadow of Rainwall.
"As if I wouldn't find half a dozen bottles were I to wander into your cellar."
"It's not the possession; it's the intertwining of souls when you share something so precious." Her sister stretched languidly, showing off her curves in the kind of blatant display that Ashe was still occasionally amazed ever worked at all.
"It's not happening. The Old One you made with Soph's help is more than enough." Though it was nice to see one of the little ones from Azatoth's realm wandering the deep oceans of their new world.
"He's such a cute, miniature calamity, though." Ri'ankor shrugged voluptiously. "But we're not here to talk about my adorable children, are we?"
"Perhaps…"
Ashe let the silence after her statement linger just long enough for the lazy amusement in her sister's eyes to fade into a sharp, vicious focus. Good. Lust was at its best when it was singularly focused, just like Pride.
"Since our little sister wants to be a hero, I thought, who better to be the villain than us?" A slow smirk spread across her sister's face, and a moment later, she mirrored it. "And as I was plotting something worthy of that little piggy's attention, I thought of you, oh dear [Father of Monsters]."
"I'm listening."
Ashe smiled at the eagerness in her sister's words. "My minions will spread chaos and uncertainty, but I thought it only right that an internal fear be matched by something external."
"And just where do you intend to start." Ashe could clearly see the gears in her sister's mind begin to turn.
"The dwarven clans. Their dearly beloved king will die under mysterious and violent circumstances. Evidence will paint his sons as the hands that direct the knife. Then it won't take but a few whispers before the thanes are at each other's throats for the chance of winning a crown..."
"And you want one of my children to strike while they're distracted and bring the whole thing toppling down… unless our dear sister is there to save them, of course."
"Of course."
Ri'ankor leaned forward and steepled her fingers beneath her chin. "A dwarf digs too deep and unearths something she shouldn't. It's an old story, but sometimes the classics are the classics for a reason."
"You have something in mind?"
"A daughter of mine who does little more than eat my food and molest my [Faceless]." Her sister grinned maliciously, in the way Ashe imagined a parent finally finding a reason to kick their useless daughter out of the house would. "She can create hordes of monsters she calls [Darklings]—an interesting enough ability, though they are largely too weak to be useful in my plots. More interestingly, though, is that a drop of their blood will convert anyone it touches into a [Darkling] just like them—with their original skills and levels still somewhat intact."
"Then why is it not useful to you?" Ashe raised an eyebrow. That kind of skill seemed like it went hand in glove with her sister's approach to evil.
Ri'ankor sighed as if the heavens had personally declared vengeance upon her. "They're ugly. Serrated teeth, squished faces, misshapen, and deformed bodies. Like goblins, but worse."
That explained it. Her sister would ignore the keys to the [Infinite Vault] if it came in the hands of someone she deemed unattractive. "A horde of monsters that only grows larger the more foes it fights… please tell me enough remains of the mortals turned to [Darklings] to keep them recognizable."
"A few features here and there that a loved one might recognize, though they do tend to favor the weapons and armor they used before turning. The real amusement will come the first time someone casts [Identify] on them."
A slow, cruel smirk worked its way across Ashe's face as she realized what her sister was implying. Yes. She would gnaw at the foundations of dwarven society, while her sister's spawn would strike fear in the hearts of their bravest warriors.
"I knew I was right to share this with you, my dear sister."
"Anything for you, and our favorite little piggy."
"Push them back, you useless fucking slugs," Sorja shouted to the squad of heavily armored [Soldiers]—her squad of heavily armored [Soldiers]—as another wave of grotesque, misshapen goblin creatures rushed at them from out of the darkness. "I've got a birthday celebration to get to, and no fucking goblin's gonna make us late."
"Think yer kid's gonna have to celebrate without his mamma today," Norrin bellowed out as he brought his warhammer down on the skull of a monster, pulping its brain and almost half of its torso in one explosion of blood and gore. "These ain't worth the time it takes ta swing a hammer, but by the Forge, there's a lot of 'em."
"I promised that little shit that I'd get him a brand new crossbow, and I'll be damned if I let my husband win this time."
Sorja took a quick breath and released the hold she always kept on her most useful skill. [Boon of the Grunt] flowed out from her in cooling waves, and five dwarven backs perked up just an inch straighter. It wasn't much of a boon skill, but it had gotten her promoted to sergeant—and, more importantly, gotten her squad out of a dozen hairy scrapes over the years.
"Couldn'ta done that earlier, huh, sarge," Adrik shouted as he used the renewed vigor brought by her spell to disembowel three mutated goblins as they rushed heedlessly toward him.
"It's for difficult encounters. Not pissants like this." In fact, if it weren't for Kai's birthday... Sorja bashed her shield into a goblin and used the space when it dropped to carve out the throat of the next one in line.
A spray of blood makes its way through the vents on her visor and splatters across her lips. She gags slightly at the rancid taste but doesn't have the space to lift her helmet and spit it clear.
Come to me…
A thought activated the [Rune of Fire] etched into her sword, and it starts to glow like metal pulled straight from the forge. A moment later, blood and flesh sizzle as she carved a wide arc into the monsters attacking her squad.
Follow me…
Sorja grinned viciously as the monsters began to scramble back from her burning blade—there were definitely benefits to having a [Runecarver] for a husband—and used the space to look around the rest of the skirmish.
Adrik and Norrin were teamed up with their backs set against the stone as they fought off a dozen of the goblin monsters. Good. It meant they still had their heads enough to remember their training. Another dozen or so, and she'd wade over there to help, but as it was, a pair of dwarves properly braced by stone could fight off ten times their number. Further into the fray, Birgit and Inka were turning goblins into smears of blood with their war hammers almost as fast as they could approach.
Obey me…
Yes. Her first two squadmates were too well protected, but… Sorja licked her lips, trying to get another taste of that blood. She would help Inka first, and together, they would move on to the rest. Quickly, she darted through the skirmish, her shield and burning sword raised in defense, but none of the remaining goblins dared to attack.
A dwarf with a long, blonde plait poking out the back of her helmet—one that she refused to cut despite it violating the regs—turned. "Come to fight with the rest of the gals, huh, sarge?"
"You," her voice was hoarse, as though she'd been shouting for hours. Sorja swallowed through a parched throat. "Looked like you needed a bit of help."
"Nah, me an' Birgi-"
The soldier's voice cut off with a strangled cry as a blade of molten metal speared straight through her gorget and into her neck. A chorus of confused shouts emanated from her former squad, but Sorja didn't care.
She ripped the helmet free from the dying dwarf's face and slammed her down into a puddle of gore and blood—all that remained of her mother's first [Darkling] spawn. "Thirsty. So thirsty. Drink Brigit. Drink and be-"
A solid object collided with the back of Sorja's helmet, and she saw no more.
Four indistinct figures, wrought from moonlight and trailing a faintly acrid smoke behind them, ghost into a palatial bed-chamber. They slip through wards charged with the cleansing fire of retribution and fade to nothingness as they brush past quiescent strands of clairvoyance. Further into this sanctum, they move, past gold and tapestry and baubles of arcane provenance, to the very foot of a four-postered bed draped in thick ripples of crimson silk and velvet.
It is here they behold their target.
Time slows to a near halt. Four blades, darker than pitch, rise. Four blades fall.
A king dies.
Blood feeds. Blood spreads. Blood calls to blood.
Dwarven outposts grow dark. Betrayed and consumed by the ones who had promised to protect them. The [Soldiers] who would have stemmed this tide and formed the armies that would have eliminated this scourge with Rune and Fire are instead kept close, for there was a prize worth any price awaiting—the throne.
In the dark of a long-forgotten Thaig, a pair of sapphire eyes slowly blink open.
In lieu of something directly related to the interlude, you have a different choice. Ciel and her team are currently packing for their trip north. They will most certainly forget something. The only question is, what?
[] Food.
[] Books and entertainment.
[] Camping supplies.
[] Manastones.
[] Warm clothing.
[AN]
I had intended to put more in this chapter, but my weekend was rather hectic, so I had to cut back. I may flesh out this chapter further at some point (I certainly need to do an editing pass of the first arc), but we'll see how much motivation I can find.