Society loves little girls as long as they match up to an accepted way to represent little girls. At the moment, 'scrappy young tomboyish troubled urchin who's found people to call family' has a lot of cultural credit and popularity and is very easy to love because it plays into an intersection of the modern ideals that anyone can gain a higher place in society and that children should be adorable/innocent/needy. (Never mind the fact that Jana only 'gained' that place because of Elys' and Yslena's benevolence, and not because of society itself.)
If you want a character to come across as annoying then you need to tap into a very different set of characters than a Dickins urchin.
Is she a Dickensian urchin? That isn't what I intended either.
Admittedly, almost as soon as I introduced her I started smoothing over her jagged edges, wrote excuses for her greedy and needy behaviour, and furnished her with a sympathetic backstory. So… if I genuinely intended her to be someone my readers would dislike, I guess my heart wasn't really in it.
Unleash your inner Christie, do.
Alternatively: write it as difficult as you'd find fun. I think you'll have found, from your Time Travel Privileges quest, that some of your readers are maaaaaybe a smidgen better at solving things than you'd estimate. So just make it fun! I mean - speaking for myself, it'd be just as fun if we happened upon a random Sea Ghoul and suddenly pulled its head off to reveal Jana's mother engaging in silly shenanigans, if not for us meddling kids and our dog dragon.
My experience with
Sorry, Your Time-Traveling Privileges Have Been Revoked has made me afraid that if I give you any hints at all you'll get it straight away, but, at the same time, if I fill the town of Flotsam with interesting red herrings you could be wandering around for another thirty or forty chapters. So yeah.
Lucy from
Questionably Soteriological. It's been my favorite quest ever since I stumbled upon it.
Hmm. Maybe I should check it out.
That is to say, why did I introduce a character I thought would annoy my readers?
*
They Call It "The Drink"
At that moment, you bumped into Jana; she'd come to a stop outside a dingy little watering hole which you presumed was "the Drink".
'Watch where you're going, Elys.' She sighed. 'Is your new pet really so very interesting?'
'Yes. It's very interesting,' you assured her. 'And talkative. I wonder how it knows so much.'
She grunted, unimpressed.
You skirted around the edge of the building, peering into the alleyway behind it. There, you saw festering piles of rubbish, dirt, and human ordure. The back wall was stained brown and yellow. You didn't want to look any closer.
'Can you sense anything?' you asked your eel friend.
'Are the Sea Ghouls near?'
'Yes.'
'They are? How near? Are they here?' you asked, in a panic.
'Not here. Quite near. Somewhere… underneath.'
You interpreted that as meaning, "The Sea Ghouls have a base in Flotsam, somewhere underground." However, the eel's vague pronouncements didn't give you a clear idea of where to start looking for it. With a sigh, you ceased your telepathic communications, turned to Bellona, and said, 'I've been talking with this eel. Telepathically. He says he can sense the Sea Ghouls' magic and he'll alert me when they're nearby.'
Bellona rubbed her forehead, looking pained. 'How nearby?' she asked. 'When they're so close they're already attacking us? Or further away than that? Enough to be useful?'
'I don't know,' you admitted. 'He said he could sense them underground, somewhere near here. I suppose that means the Sea Ghouls have a base in the cellars of one of these buildings.' You gave a vague, sweeping gesture which managed to encompass the entire town and the hundreds of buildings within it.
'That's helpful,' said your necromancer chaperone sardonically.
'He's very intelligent. How is that possible?'
'Magic. Presumably, someone dumped some magic items into the sea. Even as they decayed, they continued to warp the world around them, causing some very strange results,' said Bellona. She walked over to the Drink and pushed open the door. 'Are you coming?'
Inside was a poky little room, smelling of wood smoke and stale sweat, with scratched and stained dark brown furniture around which a few people were sitting. One of them was a wizened, tanned figure wearing a tricorn hat, his long grey beard in ringlets, and a bird with magnificent bright red, green and blue plumage sitting on his shoulder. 'Pieces I ate!' screeched the bird. Its voice was a harsh squawk, but its words were recognisable. Unlike your eel friend, it didn't need to speak telepathically: it was capable of speaking a human language! A shame that what it said sounded like nonsense: 'Pieces I ate!'
The other regulars were unremarkable: a few shabbily-dressed, weary women and a handful of suspicious-looking men with hard eyes and tanned leathery skin. They drank steadily, without enthusiasm, talking in low voices and letting time drift away from them.
You had to leave Catharne outside. If she'd gone in, there wouldn't have been room for the rest of you. Marching up to the bar, you addressed the large man standing behind it: 'When was the last time you saw… uh… Moraine?'
'Dunno,' he said, wiping the bar with a grimy cloth, making patterns in the dirt. 'What does she look like?'
You glanced at Jana. 'Um… curved nose, dark brown hair, tanned skin…'
'She's my mother,' said Jana, stepping up to the bar and defiantly sticking out her chin. 'She looks a lot like me. Have you seen her?'
'Maybe,' said the bartender. 'What's it worth to you?'
'Are you serious?' asked Bellona. 'She's looking for her mother. And you're asking for a bribe. Have you no shame?'
'You don't get anything for free in this life,' he said with a shrug. 'Not that I'd expect you to know much about that.'
With a growl, Bellona handed him two silver shards. 'What do you know about Moraine?' she asked. 'Apparently, she's one of your best customers.'
'That's a laugh. She hangs around here, making eyes at all the men, hoping that one of them will buy her a drink, but she never pays for anything.' The bartender. 'Just comes here looking for a pickup.'
'Does she come here often?' you asked.
'Every few nights, yeah.'
'When was the last time you saw her?'
'Three nights ago.'
'Does she have any friends here?' asked your necromancer chaperone. 'Is there anyone here who knows her better than you?'
The bartender pointed to his regulars, all of whom were listening intently to your conversation. 'Ask any of them. They all know her. Some of them intimately, if you get my meaning.'
Bellona held her head in your hands. 'All right… Elys, I really think I should take you back to your parents. You don't need to be involved in this. Please?'
What did you say?
[] "Yes, that's probably for the best." (Take over a Bellona for the rest of the story arc)
[] "No, I'm going to find Jana's mother if it kills me!" (Continue investigation as Elys)
[] Say something else (write in).
How did the investigation continue?
[] Ask the bartender some more questions. (Write in: what do you want to ask.)
-[] Demand more information. Bellona gave him two shards, damn it!
-[] Accuse him of lying to you.
[] Speak to the piratical gentleman with the parrot. Ask if he knows Moraine.
[] Speak to the other regulars. Ask if they know Moraine.
-[] When was the last time they saw her?
--[] What do they think happened to her?
[] Offer a reward to anyone who can help you find Moraine.
-[] Write in: how many silver shards will you offer? (You currently have a total of nine.)
[] Do something else (write in).
(Note: these options are for Elys only)
[] Ask your eel friend if he can sense the Sea Ghouls nearby.
[] Try to sneak into the back rooms.
-[] Ask Jana to create a distraction.
[] Tell Catharne to stick her head into the room.
-[] Threaten people. Tell them that your dragon will burn down the bar unless they tell you where Moraine is.
(Note: these options are for Bellona only)
[] Use your second sight to see if Moraine's soul left any traces behind in the Drink.
[] Search for ghosts in the local area.
-[] Find the ghost of someone who was violently murdered.
--[] Use your necromantic powers to find out what he or she knows… (Note: If you vote for this, I'll give you more options in the next chapter.)
[] Summon a spirit to help you in your search.
[] Ask Roylott Flawse what he knows about Moraine.
-[] Wasn't he supposed to be keeping an eye on her?
