Chapter Fifty-Eight
The rooftop of Beacon was a beautiful place to spend the night. I had a sleeping bag, the stars were pretty, and I had enough pillows to tide me over until the morning came. I wasn't expecting visitors. Thus, the fact a black bird cawed at me as I placed both hands behind my head readying myself for sleep made me snort.
"Listen here," I said, looking at the bird. "I'm staying away from rowdy teammates," I added. "Don't know if you've got a nest, but if you promise not to caw at me, I've got a spare pillow you can use."
The black bird, a raven or a crow, no idea which, cawed a bit and then drew near as I patted an empty pillow by my side.
The bird nestled atop it, "The name's Wren, by the way," I said amiably, "And I'm talking to a bird, way to go, Wren," I grumbled under my breath as I returned to gaze at the stars. This probably wasn't Qrow. The man was drunk out of his wits in some seedy bar in the city, or something equally underwhelming. Though he was strong, no questions asked. "Sometimes I wonder if people are naturally stupid or they do it on purpose."
The bird cawed a bit more, as if to say I had to be quiet because it was trying to get some sleep. "Yeah, sorry, you've got better things to do than listen to me grumble. Good night. Caw if you see a Nevermore or something."
And with that said, I fell asleep myself.
The next morning I was woken by a sharp jab in my sides. I barely turned around, yawning as I scratched the side that was hit. Another jab hit my back this time, and I blearily opened my eyes to the source of the jabbing. There was no one in my nearby proximity. It could be Chez, though.
"Mister Wren," the icy-cold voice of professor Goodwitch told me that no, it wasn't Chez. I blearily looked in the direction of the voice. "The rooftop is off limits to students and unauthorized personnel."
I furrowed my brows. "I'm technically not on the academy's rooftop, but on the rooftop of the headmaster's tower, the lift goes all the way up, and it wasn't locked. So-"
"Mister Wren," professor Goodwitch said, "Perhaps you would like detention?"
"Yes, thank you very much," I said seriously. "Anything to get away from my team until they stop suffering from their hangover. I knew you were an angel, professor Goodwitch. Are you single? You shouldn't be single-"
There was a certain level of anger that, once you passed it, it became simple silence. It was the eye of the perfect storm, that moment of absolute calm that preludes the absolute destruction of mankind by the hands of the forces of nature.
I realized it was a mistake. I realized I shouldn't have made that mistake.
"Mister Wren," Professor Goodwitch spoke gently, and her gentleness told me that I would die. "I have the perfect punishment for the likes of you."
I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit.
Professor Peach was, apparently, the name of the nurse in Beacon academy. She was a professor who taught things like Anatomy, Self-Care, Survival-and also more gentle and caring stuff like Home Economics and how to bake cakes for one's beloved. She was married to a simple man who worked as a plumber, and as I turned my brain off and killed my remaining cells, I knew that I would not laugh.
For I was knee-deep in puke and vomit from hangover students of all ages.
"It's always the same," Professor Peach said with a soft, caring voice. She shook her head in disbelief. "The poor dearies-" I was relatively sure they called it upon themselves. "They either drink to celebrate or to drown out their sorrows for the Vytal tournament, and some add celebrating their first successful missions-so they've got the Lien to party hard," she tenderly passed a cold compress to apply to the forehead of a green-faced Chez, who was meowing pitifully.
"Save me Wren, save me," she cried with a face full of tears. "Please-I don't want to die here."
"They don't know that Aura can't cure hangovers," Professor Peach added, handing me some pills to distribute. I handed them over, forcing Zhelty to swallow hers.
"I had an inkling about that," I grumbled, holding Zhelty's braid back as the girl looked ready to retch in her bucket, which she had appropriated from another drunk, and refused to let go of it.
I reckoned Gorm was still tied in the room, but I'd probably free him sometime later, once the punishment was over. He was a grown owl. If he truly wanted to break free, he'd manage something.
"Never again," Zhelty muttered. "Why did you let us go?" she whined, "Why-You're supposed to protect us-"
"Yes, yes," I said with a dreadful sigh.
"Cherish us," Zhelty continued amidst whimpers, "Lead us to victory over the forces of evil..." she mumbled, her forehead pressing against my stomach, the bucket still held tightly in her arms. She began to snore a moment later, and I plopped her back down on the bed.
The bucket, I left it to her and declared it a casualty of war.
Though once the punishment was finally over, I returned to our room to get a shower on, and found Gorm still chained against the wall. "Wren," he said, "It's been years-"
"Yes, yes, I'll free you," I grumbled as I drew near to free him from his own demise.
He wrinkled his nose. "Damn, you stink Wren!" he added, turning his head a full one hundred and eighty degrees to avoid smelling me. "I haven't seen either Zhelty nor Chez yet. I'm starting to fear for Vale's safety."
"Vale's pretty safe, and the two are sloshed beyond belief in the infirmary," I grumbled. "Where I spent my morning taking care of them."
Gorm snickered, and I slammed my knuckles against his head, just to make him realize he was playing with fire.
When the time for the Doubles came, I made a choice I knew would forever damn me to an eternity of hell, but I had no choice.
It was the only way. The only way that truly mattered.
"You are one big chicken," Gorm said amiably, standing by my side as we both made our way down towards the center of the arena. I snickered at that, and then extended my left fist towards him, and he returned the fist-bump. "I swear I'm just going to sit down and let you do all the heavy lifting."
"I'm hurt," I said as we both stepped onto the grounds, and reached for the center. "Truly hurt."
Not as much as Chez and Zhelty were, but it was the best solution. Gorm might not be as versatile as them, but he could do area denial by simply swinging his mace, and he could do long range with more efficiency because he had a rifle, and not a grenade launcher or a set of miniature cannons. Also, there wouldn't be any hard feelings after this.
Now, our enemies could have been anyone, but for once I was glad it wasn't another team from Shade. It was strange, but I would have actually wanted to fight Mercury and Emerald. I could knock them out from the tournament after all, but in the end it wasn't them. I still didn't know if they would fight against the two members of team CFVY or not. If they did, then the Atlas engineer was truly a monster of idiocy.
Still, there was another reason I had preferred to pick Gorm, and said reason was currently waving at me with a bright smile from the contestants' seats.
"Go, potential partner!" Penny said cheerfully, waving a hand towards me. "Kick their butts!"
I should probably speak a bit with Penny and explain certain things, I had her Scroll number -perhaps I'd give her a call after the battle.
I cracked my knuckles.
I was happy, however.
Happy for whom my opponents would be.
"Hey there man," Sun said with a wave of the hand. "No hard feelings, yes?"
Neptune was shaking behind Sun. "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!"
"BREAK HIS BONES AND SMASH HIS FACE BIG BR-BIG SECOND YEAR STUDENT I DO NOT PERSONALLY KNOW!" Weiss screamed from the stands.
"Blake! I'm sure I can fight better if you're cheering me on!" Sun yelled towards the cat faunus, who simply scoffed, rolling her eyes. When no cheering came back, he slumped his shoulders. "Why," he muttered. "What's the secret?" he asked next, looking at me. "What do you have that I don't?"
I rubbed my chin in thought as the field was being randomized.
"Gorm? I'm leaving Sun to you. I need a little chat with Neptune," I said, taking a fighting stance.
Neptune swallowed in despair. Then the randomizing of the fields finished, and the bubbling volcano on one side was merged with the ice fields on the other.
He sighed in deep relief, and pulled his weapon out into spear-form. "Hey..." he said with a small smile, "I'm sorry about hurting Weiss' feelings." He gave a wink. "She's too pretty for me."
My right eyebrow twitched.
"Oh, well, I-" Weiss stammered out from the stands.
"Neptune!" a few girl voices cooed from nearby, belonging to other huntresses having come to cheer him up with actual flags on it.
I looked at the boy. The blue-haired boy wouldn't be so stupid now, would he? It wouldn't make sense. He had to have a brain in his skull. "Ladies! You're all too pretty for me-" he said, winking at them.
"TURN HIS SKELETON TO PASTE!" Weiss snarled.
I raised my right fist up in a thumb-up gesture.
"I think there's one such thing as too dumb to live," Sun said, acknowledging there was no chance for Neptune.
Gorm walked a bit to the left, and Sun did the same. "Well," the monkey faunus flexed his staff and took a stance. "Ready to rumble in a normal way?"
Gorm chuckled and smiled. Then he began to make his mace's head spin with enough speed to generate an air current. "Please, do not misunderstand," he said amiably. "I am anything but normal."
The spinning mace touched lightly the ground, and Gorm was off, rocketing forward with his other extremity in rifle form firing shots, his feet both slamming into Sun's staff come forth to, at first block the bullets, and then hold back the strength of the twin-kick impact. With a flex of his wrist, Gorm called forth the mace-part of his weapon which slammed into the spot he had previously occupied.
I grinned as I watched Sun fight back, and then turned my attention to Neptune, whose trident-shaped weapon was coming for my head. I stepped slightly to the side, knelt, and within seconds the trident flew in the air out of Neptune's hands.
I smiled as I saw the boy's eyes widen. "Please sir," he whispered. "Have mercy."
"You hurt my sist-ahem, a gentle girl's feelings-"
"RIP HIS SPLEEN WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!" Weiss yelled once more, hands cupped. I truly was a bad influence on her. Seriously. I needed to stop influencing her.
"So, prepare to die," I said amiably. Then I slammed into him with enough fists that by the time I was done, he was whimpering on the ground as the alarm blared that he was down on Aura.
I sighed and walked away from him, arms crossed as I watched Sun hard at work fighting back against Gorm.
"Don't intervene, uh!" Gorm exclaimed, sarcastically, using the metallic shaft of his weapon to block off most of the scatter shots of Sun's weapon in gun-form. He was also weaving and ducking under the combined assault of the golden-shaped multiple Sun forms, a few of which actually were hitting him with gusto.
"I dunno," I said. "I think I'd rather give the first year a bit of a moment in the spotlight."
"Heh-" Sun said, then his smile slipped. "Shit." He turned green, "Am I getting beaten like Neptune too? Cause I'd like to keep my face, the ladies don't like it, but my mom sure does."
"Don't worry kiddo," I said with a chuckle. "I'm a gentleman."
Gorm swung the mace back close to him and then began to spin together with it, the sudden abruptness causing the copies to disappear as a veritable cyclone began to form around him. I stayed where I was as a chain shot out from the middle of the tornado-like thing of steel, grabbing hold of Sun's midriff. The monkey faunus was indeed slippery enough to evade the chain, but the moment he did a spiked mace came soaring for his face and knocked him straight down on the ground.
"Poor first year," I said with a sigh as I heard the alarm blare again. "They always leave us so young."
"True, true," Gorm nodded in turn, walking by my side as we left the arena as the two triumphant students from Shade academy. "Were we ever that youthfully inadequate?"
I turned thoughtful. "Yes. Yes we were."
Gorm snickered and extended his right fist by my side. I extended my own, and we fist-bumped one another.
Chez and Zhelty were both happily cheering at us.
"You do know that, eventually, you'll have to make a choice," Gorm pointed out. "I can't always be there to pull you out of trouble, Wren."
I smiled and then patted his shoulder. "The way I see it, Gorm, I know I can count on you to always have my back. Regardless of the situation."
Gorm sighed. "Just, if you do pick Chez, would you mind doing that by giving her a bouquet of tuna? And if you pick Zhelty, could you do that by proposing with an engine?"
I glanced at him. "There's a betting pool going on with that?"
"You kidding? The only ones who aren't betting are those who are blind. It takes less than five minutes to know they're both smitten. Come on," he sighed. "I've got good money riding on the fish bouquet or the engine-proposal."
I rolled my eyes. "Never change, Gorm."
"Why would I change something perfect? But if you need a way out...just ask, I've also got some money riding on the 'Escape from the choice option'," he said amiably.
Truly, Archimedes-expy, even if we were surrounded by a crowd, you'd still help me escape wouldn't you?
You're a good man, Gorm.
You're going to be the best man too, regardless of whom I pick...
...if the enemy will not make a move and kill me first, of course.
