If by re-do you mean 'FixerUpper will have write them in future updates as he works his way through week 1,' then yes. If you mean something else, er, I'm not sure what you mean.
As for the tie, I didn't notice, but I'll think of something.
Can't Byakugan see in the darkness? I am fairly sure it can, or should - it can, after all, see places where there is no light, like inside of humans.
Also, a thought / comment on pacing: don't get boggled down with the month of training. I saw it before several times, where there are a lot of updates for training, and we never get to the payoff.
Fair point. I wanted to make its powers more fuzzy. Hinata's range, atm, is only about 50 meters (according to the wiki) and if there's nothing in her range that has an at least human-sized chakra system, or some source of light, her eyes can't pick anything out. The same goes for anyone hiding their chakra skillfully enough. She lacks the resolution Neji's more advanced eyes have, so things are fuzzier for her.
I should probably make that more explicit. Like peering into her own coils while she looks about her.
As for tempo, it's more that I should have started the quest with a bunch of short updates (tutorial mode) before jumping into the monster updates. It's doing things a bit backwards, but I'll treat week 1 as tutorial mode and see what I should do about week 2. Probably give most of the training a single paragraph except for the training you want to stunt with which will get more elaboration.
Eeeeh, pretty easy for the basics of lore. I picked up enough to understand way more than I ought to just by reading exalted fic and quests. And everyone is quite helpful in explaining. Mechanics wise the system is a bit eh sometimes, but it's the basic white wolf stuff all around at its bare basics. So pretty easy! The TAW rule book thingy is in the op too. I've been reading it bit by bit and its veeeery nice.
The lore is explained often over in the Code Geass/Exalted quest run by @Alexander89
You should be fine for the most part. Exalted's bar to get into it is the hefty mechanics sections. Which those of us who (mostly) know what we're doing are handling. If you need something explained we'll try to hammer it out into bite-sized chunks. I did something like that for how poison works a few pages back and why I really want to get some.
Other than that you just should probably know the Themes involved, as those are important. And at that you only need to worry about TAW Lunars:
Probably. TAW Lunars are not cute. They are "Monsters and Champions in the same breath." They are terrorists and the ones who push constantly at what is allowed. They are the explorers of the unknown. And they are the Wardens that protect from that same Unknown.
Lunars are first and foremost terrifying. Sometimes terrifyingly beautiful, or scary, or strong, or insane, or quick, or even cute. But they are always terrifying.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] The girl ducks back barely avoiding a blow meant for her head. She flips back a few feet breathing hard and holding her injured left arm. Her opponent merely looks on at her unimpressed. "Is this it?" He asks disappointledly. "I could understand why Hiruzen would want me to train someone like you but I was expecting someone who was supposedly an heiress to one of the main noble house of Konoha and a natural sage to at least be better than just average." He shakes his head. "It doesn't really matter though. Because as Hiruzen has entrusted me with your training I will make sure that you will become more deserving, to be more worthy of what you've been gifted! Now get ready!" He charges foward, Hinata barely able to keep up in the ensuing onslaught.
The pacing in this quest has been problematic (he says, after three updates total), but if you've ever seen Iron Fist - which is not an experience I recommend - I want to treat essence and charms sort of how they treat chi and the glowy Iron Fist. It doesn't always work and the effects tend to be simple and cinematic and if the audience doesn't understand them, neither should the characters.
A baby exalt should have a certain sense of wonder and immaturity. They can perform miracles but they don't know how to do so yet consistently.
So, if it moves too fast for you to understand when it comes to the Exalted aspects, the quest is just plain moving too fast.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] In a dark cavern, seen only through the evershifting light of her soul, Hinata danced around blows of the Monkey King. Her friends laid exhausted, and she kept going only by determination quite literally shining through her changed self. And all the while Enma kept talking - advice and ancient sutras mixed with sarcastic comments and observations about unseen weather. She long gave up trying to predict his movements - not only his mastery of combat arts was above producing tells, but he, himself, kept slightly changing from strike to strike, his weapon elongating or thinning, his form shifting. Only now, after hours, or was it days? Months? of non-stop combat, when her byakugan was hurting and her head swam, Hinata thought that she started noticing beyond his words and strikes, grasping for what tied all of them, and more, together. Every ninth breath - a sound 'Ohm', calming her. Every thirteenth swing of the carved pillar to the right - a drop of water from a source in the darkness, making her stretch with her feelings. Every other flicker of her light - a shift in the wind's direction, so she became the part of the flow. And more complex and illusive things emerging to her senses. For a moment Hyuuga Heiress dreamt she could almost feel the flows of... something that carried both her and her opponent and all her world in a single dance. Of course, the next moment she finally failed to dodge and was flat on her behind, completely spent at the end of the day's training.
This is the training of a natural sage. So, naturally, sage training is what it should be. Hence the stunt. Battle meditation, in other words.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] The girl ducks back barely avoiding a blow meant for her head. She flips back a few feet breathing hard and holding her injured left arm. Her opponent merely looks on at her unimpressed. "Is this it?" He asks disappointledly. "I could understand why Hiruzen would want me to train someone like you but I was expecting someone who was supposedly an heiress to one of the main noble house of Konoha and a natural sage to at least be better than just average." He shakes his head. "It doesn't really matter though. Because as Hiruzen has entrusted me with your training I will make sure that you will become more deserving, to be more worthy of what you've been gifted! Now get ready!" He charges foward, Hinata barely able to keep up in the ensuing onslaught.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] The girl ducks back barely avoiding a blow meant for her head. She flips back a few feet breathing hard and holding her injured left arm. Her opponent merely looks on at her unimpressed. "Is this it?" He asks disappointledly. "I could understand why Hiruzen would want me to train someone like you but I was expecting someone who was supposedly an heiress to one of the main noble house of Konoha and a natural sage to at least be better than just average." He shakes his head. "It doesn't really matter though. Because as Hiruzen has entrusted me with your training I will make sure that you will become more deserving, to be more worthy of what you've been gifted! Now get ready!" He charges foward, Hinata barely able to keep up in the ensuing onslaught.
... Mote Reactor is 45 XP. Would you care to guess how much Nature Chakra will be? I'm going to guess 60 to 80. Minimum. And maybe for an imperfect form at that.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] The girl ducks back barely avoiding a blow meant for her head. She flips back a few feet breathing hard and holding her injured left arm. Her opponent merely looks on at her unimpressed. "Is this it?" He asks disappointledly. "I could understand why Hiruzen would want me to train someone like you but I was expecting someone who was supposedly an heiress to one of the main noble house of Konoha and a natural sage to at least be better than just average." He shakes his head. "It doesn't really matter though. Because as Hiruzen has entrusted me with your training I will make sure that you will become more deserving, to be more worthy of what you've been gifted! Now get ready!" He charges foward, Hinata barely able to keep up in the ensuing onslaught.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] The girl ducks back barely avoiding a blow meant for her head. She flips back a few feet breathing hard and hold her injured left arm. Her opponent merely looks on at her unimpressed. "Is this it?" He asks disappointledly. "I could understand why Hiruzen would want me to train but I was expecting someone who was supposedly an heiress to one of the main noble house of Konoha, a natural sage to at least be better than just average." He shakes his head. "It doesn't really matter though. Because as Hiruzen has entrusted me with your training I will make sure that you will be more deserving of what you've been gifter! Now get ready!" He charges foward, Hinata barely able to keep up in the ensuing onslaught.
[X] Through overwhelming force.
-[X] In a dark cavern, seen only through the evershifting light of her soul, Hinata danced around blows of the Monkey King. Her friends laid exhausted, and she kept going only by determination quite literally shining through her changed self. And all the while Enma kept talking - advice and ancient sutras mixed with sarcastic comments and observations about unseen weather. She long gave up trying to predict his movements - not only his mastery of combat arts was above producing tells, but he, himself, kept slightly changing from strike to strike, his weapon elongating or thinning, his form shifting. Only now, after hours, or was it days? Months? of non-stop combat, when her byakugan was hurting and her head swam, Hinata thought that she started noticing beyond his words and strikes, grasping for what tied all of them, and more, together. Every ninth breath - a sound 'Ohm', calming her. Every thirteenth swing of the carved pillar to the right - a drop of water from a source in the darkness, making her stretch with her feelings. Every other flicker of her light - a shift in the wind's direction, so she became the part of the flow. And more complex and illusive things emerging to her senses. For a moment Hyuuga Heiress dreamt she could almost feel the flows of... something that carried both her and her opponent and all her world in a single dance. Of course, the next moment she finally failed to dodge and was flat on her behind, completely spent at the end of the day's training.
*Stares* ... Why Appearance Excellency? We don't have the Presence to use it at all right now.
... Mote Reactor is 45 XP. Would you care to guess how much Nature Chakra will be? I'm going to guess 60 to 80. Minimum. And maybe for an imperfect form at that.
This assumes that Sarutobi is functionally wrong and essence and Natural Chakra are two distinct things that behave differently. For all we know they are not, and adding natural chakra to jyuuken is the same as adding essence to it.
While the excellencies are key to building a strong foundation, we just don't have that kind of time. We have a fight with Gaara coming up, and not the cuddly shippuden gaara, but the 'I need to kill to feel alive' gaara. Which will include either a partial or full transformation in shukaku. which will be followed by a joint sand- sound invasion.
We have four weeks to prepare for this. And as we are? we will lose hard. Gaara is a nightmare against taijustu based fighters like us. We need to focus on charms that will give us an immediate edge rather than costly long term strategies.
After the invasion, these tactics may prove wise since most of the worst threats will be three years away and we will have breathign room. But right now we Need impossibilitiy's arrival over another excellency whose relevant skill is too low to be practical for short term use.
The monkey leapt from the immense boulder, crashing between them, dust rising as the stone beneath his feet cracked explosively. Lee had moved fast yesterday, but that was with a nerve-tearing, muscle-shredding, flat out impossible chakra flow. If her eyes spoke true then the monkey - Enma-sensei - was doing the same while suppressing his chakra.
One large, muscular arm lashed out, fast as a whip then paused and - almost comically - tapped her raised forearm block with two fingers. The force of the finger flick sent her hurtling away to crash against the wall of the cave with a glowy 'oof'.
As she slid down the wall, she whimpered, cradling her arm to her chest: she'd felt the bones grind and nearly snap. No fracture, but there'd be a lump there the size of kunai.
Another visibly underpowered tap sent Kiba and Akamaru in a different direction while a sweep of his staff made Shino explode into a swarm of kikai bugs.
"Ho ho, a thinker, but-" he stamped his foot, causing the ground to tremble, and Shino to burst out the hole he'd somehow secreted himself in, "this is not yet that sort of test."
"What sort of test is- oof!"
As Shino landed some twenty feet away, Hinata managed to gather both her wits and her silver chakra and let it explode out of her. She raised her arms, her left still throbbing with pain. Around her, her translucent lion dog roared.
"S-stop hurting my Shino!" Hinata cried.
She had meant to say 'stop hurting my friend,' but somewhere along the way, she'd gotten her words mixed up.
"Ahahahahah!" cackled Kiba, who was still knocked over and sounded a little concussed. For all that, she could see Akamaru's chakra boil and heat up.
For all his faults, Hinata could not say that Kiba had ever lacked guts. She had to draw his attention.
"I-I mean it!" she said, sliding one foot forward and taking up the third juken stance.
"Huh," Enma said in his deep, scratchy baritone. His eyes glanced up, towards the chakra-formed Lion Dog, then down, staring into hers. Hinata forced herself not to shrink back. "I see. So you are the Heiress."
There was a flicker-flash of chakra light.
In theory, there were as many stances to the Juken as there were ways to position the human body. The gentle fist was no barbarian style: it had been refined by countless generations (okay, eight) and was supposed to encompass not only itself, but every possible counter. It was flexible, elegant, powerful.
In practice, there were eight general stances, going from outer to inner and up to down.
The third stance, Lotus Root, was low and close, meant to react in the smallest amount of time to the fastest possible threat.
She still couldn't see Enma move. There was a spike of intent and then Hinata swallowed a shriek and threw herself back, abandoning her juken, barely avoiding a blow meant for her head. Her left arm, injured, banged against the wall, eliciting a bone-deep stab of pain that sent tears to her eyes and made her breathing ratchet upwards.
Her opponent looked on, unimpressed.
"Is that it?" he asked. "A puppy, a pupa and you?"
Akamaru growled.
"Well, don't count the puppy out just yet! C'mon Akamaru! Let's do this! Piercing Fang!"
The two Kibas drilled forward, twin tornadoes of claw and fang. To her surprise, they moved slowly: Enma was already twisting to intercept. She darted forward to touch his back, but his tail unfurled, smacking her hand and then slamming into her midriff, knocking the wind out of her. She gasped and pushed forward again as Shino's kikai army suddenly rose from the ground, buzzing angrily as they swarmed him.
It took Enma about three seconds to dismantle their entire team a second time. A blow of his staff to the ground dispersed the kikai swarm. Two swats knocked Akamaru out of his transformation technique, and Kiba on his ass.
Hinata he had dealt with through the exact same tail strikes he'd used the first time.
Panting on her back, air greedily sucked into her lungs, she stared at the faraway cavern ceiling before his face loomed over hers.
"Again, I ask: is that it?"
Hinata's fist palm curled into a fist. She struggled to rise.
"I could understand why Hiruzen would want me to train a new team, and I have honestly seen worse than the three of you… but I was expecting the Heiress to be at least better than average."
"You made three mistakes, Hyuuga," he lectured. "You were uncertain of your purpose which robbed you of your will, uncertain of your action which robbed you of your speed, and worst of all, you were uncertain of your power which robbed you of your friends."
He passed a hand through the silvery chakra. "Did you not notice how the Aburame's kikai bugs were affected, or how the Inuzaka's mutt was distracted?"
Her heart fell: she hadn't.
"You need to be better than this, Hyuuga. I give you one minute to rest and confer. We start again when I open my eyes."
What felt like many, many bruising hours later, Hinata and her teammates tumbled back into the Mission Office. From what she could tell by the sun, it wasn't even noon.
"I… never… want to do that… again," said Kiba, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. It spun alarmingly. Akamaru yipped in tired agreement.
The Hokage chuckled from his chair, the wide brim of his hat rising an inch. "Have you given up already, then?"
Kiba sat up. "Woah, no." He put a hand against his temple. "I mean, no sir. It was… enlightening. Would be happy to do it again today, Lord Hokage sir."
"No," said Hinata through puffy lips. Her whole face felt like one big disaster area.
"A common sentiment between the three of us," said Shino, whose respectful mien and words were made just off by the fact that he looked more bruise than human.
"Well, I'm afraid today won't be possible. The path to Kanzeon Mountain is arduous. It will open again next week. Feel free to come by if you are free."
He waved them off.
Kurenai was waiting for them at the base of the Tower, looking slightly the worse for wear. This may or may not have had to do with the fact that the scary proctor from the second phase of the chuunin exams seemed to be harassing her.
"Kurenai-sensei-"
The two jounin turned. One squealed, the other winced.
"Aren't these your genin? Holy shit, the old man has grown hard in his old age, they look like they were put through a tenderizer and-"
"Enough, Anko," growled Kurenai. "We'll catch up later. I have actual work to do now."
After Anko left, Kurenai sighed and clicked her tongue. Hinata didn't have her Byaugan active, but could feel how sluggish Kurenai-sensei's chakra was. Had she been training too?
"Well, come with me. We should probably make sure none of you have concussions or something."
----
They definitely did not have concussions.
What they did have were a multitude of micro-fractures, bruises, abrasions and a look horrifying enough that they got treated by one of the junior medical-nin who nervously attempted to pass a green, glowing palm over the worst of their bruising.
Hinata was under the impression it was his first time treating anyone.
"Foo'll fe fin," she told him through thick lips.
This was probably less reassuring than she meant it to be. When the swelling finally went down, all three of them relaxed. Kurenai-sensei put them under orders of strict bed rest - no training until at least tomorrow - and then left to take care of some minor matters.
Hinata, who had been meaning to come here anyway, hesitated before blurting out her thoughts.
"I… need to go see cousin Neji," said Hinata. "Um. Alone."
This raised Kiba's hackles and even made Shino look at her dubiously.
"Stay away from that creep. He tried to fucking kill you."
"I find myself in agreement with Kiba," said Shino ponderously. "Why? Hinata, I may not have your eyes, but even I can see that your cousin is not stable. Not when it comes to you or the rest of your family."
"I - I need to talk to him, even so."
She thanked them. They left to go home, disgruntled. Kiba, she hoped would listen to Kurenai-sensei. Shino… Shino she was not so sure.
A quick scan of the hospital with her Byakugan told her where Neji was. It also told her that her boys had left for real and weren't just humoring her. Shino had left one of his kikai insects on her, but she couldn't really expect any less than that. She'd probably be keeping track of him if it turned out he had a cousin who wanted him dead.
She took a deep breath. Opened the door.
Neji was there, looking appallingly pretty. He was only going to be kept here until afternoon, for purposes of 'medical observation.'
"H-hello."
----
What will you talk about?
[ ] "I… I never thanked you for what your father did for me."
[ ] "Cousin N-Neji. They said I won, but that - that wasn't fair."
[ ] "C-can you teach me?"
Write in a stunt. Since this is a social stunt, I'll be a lot more willing to just completely scrap the stunt if I don't feel it fits their characterization. You'll have the opportunity here to gain presence xp though. To encourage you guys more, I'll set the minimum presence gain to 2xp for a stunt of any quality, and 3xp if I use more than half of it.
Option 1 is the safest, narrative-wise, option 2 is to leave the door open for him to duel you because you were 'saved' by the jounin interfering in your fight, option 3 is least likely to succeed, and has benefits and drawbacks up the wazoo.
While the excellencies are key to building a strong foundation, we just don't have that kind of time. We have a fight with Gaara coming up, and not the cuddly shippuden gaara, but the 'I need to kill to feel alive' gaara. Which will include either a partial or full transformation in shukaku. which will be followed by a joint sand- sound invasion.
We have four weeks to prepare for this. And as we are? we will lose hard. Gaara is a nightmare against taijustu based fighters like us. We need to focus on charms that will give us an immediate edge rather than costly long term strategies.
After the invasion, these tactics may prove wise since most of the worst threats will be three years away and we will have breathign room. But right now we Need impossibilitiy's arrival over another excellency whose relevant skill is too low to be practical for short term use.
Jyyuken destroys chakra-infused and/or chakra-hardened objects. There is not an insignificant chance that Gaara's sand armoe will do nothing to stop our strikes.
This assumes that Sarutobi is functionally wrong and essence and Natural Chakra are two distinct things that behave differently. For all we know they are not, and adding natural chakra to jyuuken is the same as adding essence to it.
Then find a way to prove it. All you're doing right now is making an unfounded guess when we do not have time to waste. If it wasn't the month to the Chunnin Exam and Invasion, fine, let's sink a couple XP into it to find out because we have some time to spare at least. But it is and we don't.
We already wasted XP on a (currently) useless excellency.
[X] "C-can you teach me?"
-[X] Success of the student is her teacher's glory. Whatever you feel towards me, or my father, or our family, you would turn even a defeat into a marvelous victory if, under your tutelage, my gentle fist defeats Gaara of the Desert.
Then find a way to prove it. All you're doing right now is making an unfounded guess when we do not have time to waste. If it wasn't the month to the Chunnin Exam and Invasion, fine, let's sink a couple XP into it to find out because we have some time to spare at least. But it is and we don't.
I can't prove or disprove it based on the evidence presented in the text. Sarutobi, who might or might not be a sage, believes, based on how our anima felt to him and what he saw of us fighting, that essence use = natural chakra use. Enma, who, again, might or might not be a sage, did not indicate that this hypothesis was wrong. Canonically, we know of only one sage active at this point of time - Jiraya. Whether his senses are good enough to find the difference, and whether he has knowledge enough to understand said difference is unknown. The only way to check the hypothesis is, as I see it, to attempt training in natural chakra use. If it works for essence, then essence = natural chakra. If not (at all, as there might be slight differences in the same phenomena), then not.
Basically, without attempting an IC experiment, there's no way to tell. Hence, my vote to attempt an IC experiment.
[X] "I… I never thanked you for what your father did for me."
Think we might want to use this opportunity to work on our relationship with Neji and this seems like a good step that may seriously help with our issues with him.
I can't prove or disprove it based on the evidence presented in the text. Sarutobi, who might or might not be a sage, believes, based on how our anima felt to him and what he saw of us fighting, that essence use = natural chakra use. Enma, who, again, might or might not be a sage, did not indicate that this hypothesis was wrong. Canonically, we know of only one sage active at this point of time - Jiraya. Whether his senses are good enough to find the difference, and whether he has knowledge enough to understand said difference is unknown. The only way to check the hypothesis is, as I see it, to attempt training in natural chakra use. If it works for essence, then essence = natural chakra. If not (at all, as there might be slight differences in the same phenomena), then not.
Basically, without attempting an IC experiment, there's no way to tell. Hence, my vote to attempt an IC experiment.
Except your experiment currently wastes XP that we really cannot afford to waste right now. Which was my entire point. Shelve it for now and focus on things we know will work.
Our chances are already slipping with the waste of XP that was made just now as it is. Another like that and we'll need to just dump everything into dodge and hope we survive instead of being able to do anything useful. Beyond just being a high-profile genin in the middle of an invasion anyway.
[X] "C-can you teach me?"
-[X] Success of the student is her teacher's glory. Whatever you feel towards me, or my father, or our family, you would turn even a defeat into a marvelous victory if, under your tutelage, my gentle fist defeats Gaara of the Desert.
Jyyuken destroys chakra-infused and/or chakra-hardened objects. There is not an insignificant chance that Gaara's sand armoe will do nothing to stop our strikes.
I'm hoping we can either strike through or negate his armour. What I'm concerned about is that hitting him at close range leaves us vunerable to the sand he controls. I'm not eager to trade a direct hit for a sand coffin. And I don't think we can manage any of the defensive jyyuken techniques that could disrupt it. henceforth wanting a surprise negator.
We also need to injure gaara in the match. The only reason he runs off to the forest to complete his transformation is because sasuke injured him with chidori. so unless we want a bijuu in the middle of the village we have to do well.
