Pandemonious Ivy
Panties, Revolution. Big Drawers. Parachute.
Think about what you're saying and legitimately turn over how much self-denial has to go into this thought process. I'll help.
1. Does this only pertain to romance?
You can't relate to being a man who's in love with someone else? Or you can only relate to people who are attracted to human women? So does this mean that any character in a story who isn't attracted to human women means you can't read it because you can't relate? Or is it only, somehow, for the pov character?
If it's just the PoV character, what happens if there's multiple? Is there a ratio you have to work out for it to be acceptable? 2 straight to 1 gay? 3 straight to 1 gay? What happens if one of the PoV characters is bisexual? Do they count as half-a-gay, a full gay, or 'nominally straight'? And if they count as 'nominally straight' does it only last as long as they are [Something romantic] with a woman?
For that matter, what about stories with straight PoV characters who are women? Do you relate to that? Learning about women and their struggles and their thoughts and- if it's good- their hatred for being objectified into pieces of meat? Or do you somehow bypass it because "I'm attracted to women, here's a women, all is good"?
What happens when aliens or otherwise non-human PoV characters exist? If you read Worm, there was an interlude (ignore the ones with the non-het humans, roll with me on this, in case you didn't finish as a result) with a non-human PoV who had no identifiable sexual attraction/compulsion whatsoever. Would you be able to relate to this? Would it be because "they're man in appearance, I'm man, it works" (no sarcasm, v srs)? Or if you couldn't, what would be the reason? Would it be because they're not sexually attracted to anything? Because they identify as 'they' instead of anything else? Because they look like Jesus but only if he was white-gold and we all know that Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and 9/11 was an inside job?
Hmm. What happens if your f/f slips up and turns into f/m? Or, for instance, f.? How do ace, trans, bi, or any other figure I might've forgotten to mention factor into this?
How extensive is this list of "things I only read if I relate to someone wanting to sex women, like me" of yours?
2. Does this only pertain to sexuality?
If the characters are- I'm gonna give a guess at some things here, correct me if I'm wrong- black, Irish, and living in Oakland, would you be unable to relate and therefore unable to read it? Let's pull back, if they were just living in [Not where you live] would you be able to relate and thus read the story? If they were from [Not where you're from] would you be able to relate and thus read the story? If they were [Not your race] would you face the same issues?
Is the only thing that prevents you from relating to a story whether or not you and the PoV character want to have sex with the same characters? Even if they're fictional characters that exist purely on a piece of paper or a computer? I'm a black man from Texas in Portland writing this, would you be able to read this and relate, even though you aren't that specific collection of things? And if you can, anyway, then what makes love and displays of affection any different?
If you've looked at all of these questions and come to the same conclusion I have, then you'd realize that it's pretty silly to base whether or not you enjoy a story on whether or not you and the MC are attracted to the same people, when most of the times, you'll be reading about people who are completely different from you in almost every other way. It might take practice, but I think it'd be worthwhile in the end. You might find some m/m stories that you really enjoy that you wouldn't have otherwise.
