shandromand
[Confirmed Dragon]
- Location
- Earth Aleph
Maybe Canary can do a cover of Another One Bitesss the Dusssst. Heck, she could even use Weird Al's version and it would be pretty germane! xD
Kryslin
[Has Delusions of Authorship]
- Location
- Mythic Iowa
At least until the chase scene where she goes after the fathers for child support...
While playing Yackety Sax... On a Lute.
He might have gone into the not-eat place and that broke the link between him and his thralls?
That's certainly a nicer version of events, isn't it? Snek will now take him away to live on a farm where he can run and play with all the other skeevy religious mind-controllers.
- Location
- Australia
Hey, not every bard is a horny bard. And Canary's kind of over the whole romance thing right now.
Snek would like to offer another interpretation of the situation.
<belch>
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M. H. Fuzzball
Aperture Science-certified Horrible Person
- Location
- Sector 2814
Well, it's the most fitting end for Mama I've seen since Miraculous Escalation.
- Location
- Germany
- Pronouns
- He/Him
That's debatable - birdcage isn't exactly a healthy environment. What with no external law enforcement ...
"That means they go to the eat place, not the not-eat place."
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- Location
- Australia
This is what she meant. They didn't officially sentence her to death, but the only known way out was to die.
Part Seventeen: Happenings
- Location
- Australia
Snek is a Good Boy
Part Seventeen: Happenings
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
Far From Earth Bet
Elmora Reborn emerged from the guildhouse with the other trainees and turned down the street toward her lodgings. As dusk came on, the sconces of everfire spaced at regular intervals self-ignited one by one, giving enough light to see by.
Her shoulders ached and her forearms hurt and her fingers twinged, but she knew she was making progress. As her teacher always said, a good fletcher makes an arrow that a master is able to place into the target. A great fletcher makes an arrow that they themselves are able to shoot accurately. But an exceptional fletcher makes an arrow that anyone can learn to hit the bull with. She wasn't an exceptional fletcher yet, maybe not even a great one, but she felt she was getting there.
The other part of the training, apart from the bowyer work, was the archery itself. She knew the basics—one could shoot arrows only so many times without learning the most efficient way to nock and loose at the right time—but doing it since her power had been taken away was a shitload more difficult. Still, she was getting there. One day, she would be shooting with a bow of her own making, once she finished learning how.
Right now, however, the learning day was over. She had coin in her pouch, courtesy of her sponsor and the other work she was doing around town to augment her earnings, so it was time to relax and enjoy herself for a while. There was a tavern not far from her lodgings that served a tasty meat stew and a good heady ale, so she directed her steps that way.
When she pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside, the warmth and smell of the fire as well as the food and drink rolled over her. Inhaling appreciatively—in the old days, she would've considered this unbearably primitive, but her attitudes had changed somewhat since then—she found an empty table and sat herself down. There was a musician up on the simple wooden stage, singing in a high, reedy voice as he plucked at a string instrument; she wondered if he was an apprentice at the Bardic College, trying for some coin on the side.
The serving girl came over and Elmora ordered a bowl of stew and a mug of ale. It wasn't overly busy, so she figured she'd get served reasonably quickly. In the meantime, she leaned back in her chair and watched the crowd, with half an eye on the door-curtain and half an ear on the stage.
The singer finished his act to a smattering of polite applause and a few copper pieces rolling across the smooth-planed boards of the stage. He picked them up then took his lute (at least, she thought it was a lute) and headed offstage. Just then, Elmora spotted the serving girl coming back her way with the bowl and mug she'd ordered.
"Here you go." The girl—Janis, her name was—delivered Elmora's meal for the evening. "Enjoy."
"Thanks, I will." She dropped a few coins on the tray. "What's with that guy who was up on stage before? Surely he's not a full bard yet?"
"Hah, no." Janis grinned as she expertly swept the coins into her hip pouch. "College is sending 'em over to get a taste of performing in public."
"Yeah, okay. Makes sense." Elmora took up the spoon that had been supplied with the bowl of thick stew and pulled the bowl closer.
"See you around." Janis moved off toward another patron who'd just sat down as Elmora took a taste of the stew.
It was venison—the main game animal in the area was deer, so she'd found—and nicely seasoned. As she raised the mug to her lips—the ale was moderately alcoholic and strongly flavoured—another singer came out on stage, this one a woman wearing some kind of feathered headdress.
She was fortunate in that she'd just swallowed the mouthful of drink before the singer began her song. The lyrics were unfamiliar, but that didn't matter. From the very first note, she knew that voice.
Which was ridiculous. The last time she'd heard it was years ago and far away, in a world far distant to the one she now lived in. But the more she listened, the more certain she was that it was the same person. And when she looked more closely, she saw that the feathers were not part of a headdress; they were growing amidst the captivating singer's hair.
"Holy shit," she said out loud to nobody in particular. "That's fucking Canary."
Paige Macabee, she knew, had been arrested for mutilating her boyfriend or some stupid shit like that, and then gone straight to the Birdcage. What she was doing here, Elmora didn't know for certain, but it wasn't hard to make a guess. This had Snek and his enigmatic Master written all over it. If someone like her could get a second chance and end up here, then Canary would be a shoo-in.
Taking up the spoon again, she ate a mouthful of stew while preparing to enjoy the show. Being an exile in a strange place was one thing, but not being the only exile was another thing altogether.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Winslow High Student/Teacher Conference Room
Principal Blackwell
This was ridiculous, Carrie Blackwell decided. Why in God's name had Danny Hebert requested a conference with her on the first day of summer vacation? Couldn't he have arranged a day during any part of the actual school year? Any day? She had enough hassles as it was since the PRT had abruptly pulled their Ward stipend from the school with zero explanation.
"Does anyone have any idea what this is about?" asked Gladly. "I had plans for today. We were going to the movies."
"I'll be sure to ask." Carrie checked the clock on the wall.
It was almost ten, which was when Hebert had requested the meeting for. He'd also requested that Gladly and Quinlan attend, for whatever reason other than they were two of his daughter's teachers, she had no idea. Was this supposed to be some kind of final appeal for them to be more careful about his precious daughter being bullied next year?
I mean, seriously, this sort of thing is better dealt with just before school lets in, not after the year's over and done with!
There was a knock at the door, then it opened. Danny Hebert stood in the doorway, not even wearing a tie. Carrie had just enough time to be irritated at that before he stepped forward. "Good. You're all here. I was hoping I wouldn't have to track you down individually."
"What?" asked Gladly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Next into the room was a man who was in fact wearing a suit and tie, and carrying a briefcase. Carrie's irritation and confusion rapidly morphed into trepidation, which blew all the way out into worry when the man put his briefcase down on the table and unsnapped the latches. "Hello," said the newcomer, taking three folded pieces of paper out of the briefcase. "This is for you … and you … and you."
The door clicked shut, and Carrie looked that way to see Taylor Hebert herself, standing with her back to it. There was a certain determination in her posture, saying loud and clear that if they wanted to get out that door, they'd have to physically move her. While Carrie was distracted, she felt one of the folded documents being pressed into her hands.
"What the hell is this?" blustered Quinlan. "And who are you?"
The stranger smiled austerely. "I am Harold Howe of DC&H, Attorneys at Law. And you've just been served."
"It's a lawsuit," Danny Hebert added helpfully. "Against the whole school, against you three in particular, and against certain other people. All of whom managed to make Taylor's time here far more difficult than it should have been."
"But—wait—I didn't—" Predictably, it was Gladly. Carrie instead chose to open the summons—for that was what it was—to see exactly what it said.
"No." That was Taylor. "You didn't. That's the trouble. When Madison and Julia put juice or glue on my chair, or dumped pencil shavings on me, or stole my homework, or threw spitballs at me, or sabotaged my classwork, you didn't see a thing. When Emma and her friends cornered me outside the classroom while you were there, you still didn't see a thing."
Carrie read some of the wording of the summons and shuddered, folding the thing again. This had to be nipped in the bud. "Ms Hebert, you can't be serious. We are not the ones who harmed you. We can't be expected to stand over our students every second of the day."
"No, you're not the ones who pulled the pranks, who locked me in my locker." Taylor's tone was venomous, her expression implacable. "You're just the ones who enabled them. You're the ones who utterly failed to protect me from half the girls in my grade for two whole years. And every time you chose not to punish them, you taught them that it was just fine to keep at me. Congratulations." She gestured at Mr Howe. "It appears that lack of action also has consequences."
Well, fuck.
Alan Barnes
When the doorbell rang, Alan Barnes' first reaction was irritation. He was relaxing on the sofa with the sports on and a drink in hand, so why the hell did he have to move now? But Emma was up in her room and Zoe was in the kitchen, so when the doorbell rang a second time without anyone calling out that they'd get it, he knew it was up to him.
"I'll get it," he grunted, setting the glass of cola down on a side table and heaving himself to his feet. As he did so, the doorbell rang a third time. "Coming!" he called out.
The trek to the front door was taken up with grumbling, so when he opened the door and saw a bright young man standing there, he was ready to growl at them.
"Good morning, Mr Barnes," the boy—surely he couldn't be more than twenty—said energetically. "The office sent me to hand-deliver this to you, sir. Very sorry if I disturbed your weekend."
"The office? Hand deliver?" His anger cut off at the knees, Alan accepted the Manila envelope that the kid handed to him. He had no idea what was going on, just that anything requiring hand delivery on a Saturday was not something he could fob off until Monday.
"Yes, sir. They said it was imperative that you look it over right now."
"Right, right." Alan broke the seal and reached into the envelope. Within was a stack of folded paper, which he extracted and started to open.
There was a click, and he looked up to see that the young man had taken his photo with a phone camera. He blinked. "What? What was that for?"
The kid beamed at him. "You've just been served, sir. Have a good day." Turning, he marched off back down Alan's front path to the gate.
"Served? What?" Suddenly realising that the lad didn't work in his offices, Alan opened the papers and scanned them quickly. "Summons? Lawsuit? Taylor?" Stepping back into the house, he shut the door behind him, then drew air into his lungs for a medium bellow. "Emma! Get down here now!"
Just as she called out to ask why, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and glanced at the caller ID; it showed the name of Rod Clements, a casual acquaintance since Emma had become close friends with Rod's daughter. "Alan here. Can it wait?"
"No, it damn well can't wait." Alan didn't know Rod well, but he seemed to be worked up over something. "I just got served a summons for a lawsuit naming Madison as a defendant, about damages to some girl called Taylor Hebert. What the hell's going on here?"
"I honestly have no idea," Alan confessed grimly. "But I fully intend to find out."
All of a sudden, missing the latest play on TV was the least of his problems.
Hebert Household, Later
Taylor
Dad leaned back on the sofa and stretched his legs out. "So, that's done. How do you feel?"
I considered my words carefully. "Pleased. Nervous. Hoping all the t's got crossed and the i's got dotted. I'd hate for them to all walk away because of something I forgot to tell Mr Howe."
"No, you did just fine talking to him. Especially with that journal you've been amassing." He reached across and ruffled her hair. "He confided to me that when he saw how much material you'd put in it, the only question left on the board was how many figures we'd be getting."
"Oh, good." I drew a deep breath and let it out again to try to quell the jitters. It didn't really work. "Well, since we've decided to hold off on launching my exterminator business until after the lawsuit is over and done with, would you have a problem with me costuming up and going out on patrol?"
He hesitated, then shook his head. "I'm still not thrilled about you going off and fighting crime on your own. There are still supervillains in town, after all, and not all of them are vulnerable to bugs. Could you get someone to watch your back, while you're watching everyone else's backs?"
The tone of his voice told me that if I didn't have any other volunteers to call on, he'd step up himself. I didn't want to put that on him; he was willing enough, but he didn't have any powers. If he got hurt because of me, I'd never forgive myself.
"I can … well, I can try. Just let me get changed first." I headed upstairs and got into my costume, checking to make sure that the body cam had fresh batteries.
Deputy Director Renick had said in passing that the offer to join the Wards was still open, especially after viewing the footage. I'd politely declined, but just being told I was good enough to join had given me a heady feeling. When I asked him why the Wards didn't wear body cams like mine—they would've caught on to Sophia's shenanigans a lot quicker, or forced her to actually act like a hero on patrol, either of which would've been a worthwhile result—he'd shaken his head and muttered something about 'youth guard'.
After double-checking the rest of my gear, I trotted downstairs again with my mask in my hand. "Okay, I'm not even sure if this'll work, but I'll give it a try. And if it doesn't … well, how do you feel about driving me around and staying in the car?"
"I'm totally okay with that," he said promptly. "I'm not against you being a hero; I just want you to come home safely."
"Hey, I'm down with that too." I gave him a smile. "But let's see if this works first." Taking a deep breath, I spoke out loud. "Uh … Snek? If you're not busy, I could do with some help going on patrol? Please?"
Dad's widening eyes clued me in at about the same time as I heard the dry sound of scales on the floor behind me. Turning, I watched Snek slither in from the kitchen. "Hello, buzzy-bug girl." He was as big and as cute as ever, especially with that hat in the middle of his broad head. "Ssnek would like to help you chasse bad men. Iss alwayss fun."
"Yes, it is. Especially when you're around." I booped him on the nose like I'd seen Diane do—he seemed to like that—and gave him a hug around his enormous neck. "It's good to see you again."
"Iss good to see buzzy-bug girl and Danny again too." Snek gave us both the kind of smile that only he could supply. "Are make-ssad boy and pew-pew boy well?"
It took me a moment to figure out what he meant, then I nodded. "Uh, yeah. Gallant and Kid Win seem to be fine. I've seen them both out on patrol since the Fugly's thing." It had made the news in a big way. Snek had hung around and they'd cooked up about a dozen Challengers for him as a snack for the road. At his request, they'd loaded on all the chilli that could fit on the burgers.
Well, he did like his spicy food.
"That iss good, buzzy-bug girl. Are you ready to go chassing bad men?"
I pulled on my mask and swung my leg over his neck. "I am now. Bye, Dad!"
"Bye, hon. Take care of her, Snek."
"Ssnek will do that, Danny. Buzzy-bug girl hold on."
I held on. A portal opened up in front of him, and we launched through it. "Woo hoo!"
On Board Squealer's Latest Contraption
Skidmark
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Skiddy?" Squealer expertly steered the armoured vehicle around the worst of the potholes. "With all the other villains gone, the heroes will be looking at us now."
"Shove it up your mung-hole, will you? We're the motherhumpin' big-ass dogs in town now." Adam took a deep drag on the pipe, then offered it to her as he held the intoxicating smoke in his lungs. She took it, steering with her knees as she applied a lighter and inhaled. In the process, the monstrous vehicle swerved from side to side, crunching up and over a derelict car, but neither of them noticed.
Handing the pipe back, she let out the smoke in a long stream to join the pre-existing fug in the cabin. "Yeah, but thing is, thing is, Protec—Protec—tectorate comes after us, we're toast."
"They'll never find us," he boasted, slapping the cabin wall. "Your shit is fuckin' amazing." He looked at the pipe and prepared to take another drag. "So's this shit. We need to get more of it."
"Uh … Skiddy?" She was slowing down.
The plan wasn't to slow down. It was to go straight to the bank, bust on in through the wall, make them open the fucking vault, and roll out of there like bandits. Or bosses. Or boss bandits. Adam didn't know how much money banks kept on hand, but it had to be like a million bucks. That would buy an absolute fuck-ton of meth.
She was still slowing down. He looked at her, irritated. "Why you slowing down, Squeals?"
"That." She pointed out through the windshield. He looked.
Coiled in the road, right in front of the oncoming vehicle, was a snake. Not just an ordinary snake, either. An ordinary snake would have to get the fuck out of the way before it ended up as street pizza, when one of Squealer's creations rolled on through.
No, this snake was the snake. The one he'd seen on the news, but decided he'd been too high to see straight. Snakes didn't get that big, and even the big ones didn't talk. Fact of nature. So it was just a drug hallucination. Trying as many drugs as he did, he was totally used to hallucinations, like the purple gorilla that used to sit at the end of his bed and give him a totally judgemental glare whenever he got wasted on smack.
But the thing about drug hallucinations was that nobody else saw them, no matter how much you pointed and screamed. And everyone saw the snake. Especially when it fucking ate Leviathan.
He'd been convinced he was high when he saw that, too. Or the snake was. How hard did the munchies have to hit before you thought it was a good idea to nom down on an Endbringer?
Anyway, seeing the snake himself now, via his own (somewhat bloodshot) eyes, and knowing Squeals was seeing it too, they were either sharing the same drug-fucked vision, or it was actually there.
As was the bug-themed girl sitting astride its neck. He had no idea what that was about.
The snake opened its mouth wide, showing off a whole array of fangs more suited to something from a horror movie, and began to uncoil, slithering in their direction. Squealer brought the tank to a halt.
"What the hell you doing?" he demanded. "Run over that scaly fuck!"
It was closer now. The fangs looked really big and really sharp. For all that he knew he was sitting inside an armoured vehicle, Skidmark began to feel nervous.
"Nope, I've seen what it does to anyone who fucks with it." She slewed the tank in a half circle, demolishing a bunch of parking meters in the process. A rear screen showed the snake really close behind, so she fed it the gas, and the tank surged forward.
"And turn on the fuckin' invisibility field while you're at it!" he yelled. "That overgrown earthworm can't chase us if it can't see us!"
"The field's already on!" she yelled back. "It can see us anyway!"
The tank was now roaring down the street at what Adam suspected were unsafe speeds for anything. When he snuck a peek in the rear-view screen, the snake was closer. "Faster!" he screeched. "Go faster!"
"I'm going as fast as I can!"
Taylor
"Get 'em, Snek!" I enthused, hanging on to Snek's neck as he slithered down the street at highway speeds. The weird vehicle ahead of us, which had only flickered into my awareness as we caught up to it, bounced and yawed through the many potholes in the road; Snek, on the other hand, glided over them without pause.
"Ssnek iss—" Snek's head came up. "Danger, buzzy-bug girl!"
His warning came too late, as a gleaming metallic cylinder arced toward us from a rooftop overhead. Even as he spoke the words, it burst, dropping a sparkling field around us. Snek tried to power through, but I felt my thought processes slowing, and saw the world outside speeding up. In an instant, the tank was gone.
"Get … help … Masster …" Snek was barely moving now, but a portal formed in front of me. He twitched his neck upward, and I tumbled through it.
In the next instant, I hit a stone-tiled floor and rolled to a halt. Looking around in confusion, I saw I was in a corridor lined with odd purple-flaring torches. Ahead of me was a large imposing wooden door. Carefully, I climbed to my feet and looked around.
The portal had closed behind me, but I suspected I knew where I was. This had to be Snek's home, where Snek's Master lived.
Raising my hand, I thumped on the thick wood with my fist. "Hello?" I called out. "Is anyone there? I need help! Snek needs help! Please!"
Abruptly, there was a metallic click, and the door swung open with nary a creak. "Enter and be welcome, Taylor Hebert of Earth Bet." The voice was warm, yet full of authority.
I stepped through the doorway, looking around for whoever had spoken. He wasn't hard to find, standing front and centre in the room. If this place was a castle, as my impressions were rapidly adding up to, then he definitely ticked all the boxes that said 'wizard'.
But I didn't care about that. I cared about getting help for Snek.
"Please," I said, stumbling forward. "If you're Snek's Master, he's in trouble. They've trapped him in some kind of time bubble that he couldn't get out of, so he sent me here."
"Really?" he asked, his tone intent. When he raised his hand, a gnarled wooden staff—another box ticked, right there—rose up and flew to his grasp. With it, he made a few simple gestures, and a three-dimensional image formed. Snek lay in the middle of the sparkling field, and two figures stood looking down at him. One, with a demonic appearance, was vaguely familiar, though I didn't know the one in the gas mask at all. "Well, well. Oni Lee and Bakuda. Her little toys are surprisingly effective. I may have to do something about that."
"Can you—" I began, but someone took me by the elbow. I looked around to see a girl a few years younger than me, dressed in utilitarian overalls, with heavy goggles pushed up on her forehead.
"Hi, I'm Riley. It's all good," she assured me. "He'll sort this out. In the meantime, want a pastry?"
"Pastry?" I repeated stupidly. "Snek's in trouble! What can he do?"
Riley grinned broadly. "Oh, trust me. You're not gonna want to miss this."
End of Part Seventeen
Part Seventeen: Happenings
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
Far From Earth Bet
Elmora Reborn emerged from the guildhouse with the other trainees and turned down the street toward her lodgings. As dusk came on, the sconces of everfire spaced at regular intervals self-ignited one by one, giving enough light to see by.
Her shoulders ached and her forearms hurt and her fingers twinged, but she knew she was making progress. As her teacher always said, a good fletcher makes an arrow that a master is able to place into the target. A great fletcher makes an arrow that they themselves are able to shoot accurately. But an exceptional fletcher makes an arrow that anyone can learn to hit the bull with. She wasn't an exceptional fletcher yet, maybe not even a great one, but she felt she was getting there.
The other part of the training, apart from the bowyer work, was the archery itself. She knew the basics—one could shoot arrows only so many times without learning the most efficient way to nock and loose at the right time—but doing it since her power had been taken away was a shitload more difficult. Still, she was getting there. One day, she would be shooting with a bow of her own making, once she finished learning how.
Right now, however, the learning day was over. She had coin in her pouch, courtesy of her sponsor and the other work she was doing around town to augment her earnings, so it was time to relax and enjoy herself for a while. There was a tavern not far from her lodgings that served a tasty meat stew and a good heady ale, so she directed her steps that way.
When she pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside, the warmth and smell of the fire as well as the food and drink rolled over her. Inhaling appreciatively—in the old days, she would've considered this unbearably primitive, but her attitudes had changed somewhat since then—she found an empty table and sat herself down. There was a musician up on the simple wooden stage, singing in a high, reedy voice as he plucked at a string instrument; she wondered if he was an apprentice at the Bardic College, trying for some coin on the side.
The serving girl came over and Elmora ordered a bowl of stew and a mug of ale. It wasn't overly busy, so she figured she'd get served reasonably quickly. In the meantime, she leaned back in her chair and watched the crowd, with half an eye on the door-curtain and half an ear on the stage.
The singer finished his act to a smattering of polite applause and a few copper pieces rolling across the smooth-planed boards of the stage. He picked them up then took his lute (at least, she thought it was a lute) and headed offstage. Just then, Elmora spotted the serving girl coming back her way with the bowl and mug she'd ordered.
"Here you go." The girl—Janis, her name was—delivered Elmora's meal for the evening. "Enjoy."
"Thanks, I will." She dropped a few coins on the tray. "What's with that guy who was up on stage before? Surely he's not a full bard yet?"
"Hah, no." Janis grinned as she expertly swept the coins into her hip pouch. "College is sending 'em over to get a taste of performing in public."
"Yeah, okay. Makes sense." Elmora took up the spoon that had been supplied with the bowl of thick stew and pulled the bowl closer.
"See you around." Janis moved off toward another patron who'd just sat down as Elmora took a taste of the stew.
It was venison—the main game animal in the area was deer, so she'd found—and nicely seasoned. As she raised the mug to her lips—the ale was moderately alcoholic and strongly flavoured—another singer came out on stage, this one a woman wearing some kind of feathered headdress.
She was fortunate in that she'd just swallowed the mouthful of drink before the singer began her song. The lyrics were unfamiliar, but that didn't matter. From the very first note, she knew that voice.
Which was ridiculous. The last time she'd heard it was years ago and far away, in a world far distant to the one she now lived in. But the more she listened, the more certain she was that it was the same person. And when she looked more closely, she saw that the feathers were not part of a headdress; they were growing amidst the captivating singer's hair.
"Holy shit," she said out loud to nobody in particular. "That's fucking Canary."
Paige Macabee, she knew, had been arrested for mutilating her boyfriend or some stupid shit like that, and then gone straight to the Birdcage. What she was doing here, Elmora didn't know for certain, but it wasn't hard to make a guess. This had Snek and his enigmatic Master written all over it. If someone like her could get a second chance and end up here, then Canary would be a shoo-in.
Taking up the spoon again, she ate a mouthful of stew while preparing to enjoy the show. Being an exile in a strange place was one thing, but not being the only exile was another thing altogether.
<><>
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Winslow High Student/Teacher Conference Room
Principal Blackwell
This was ridiculous, Carrie Blackwell decided. Why in God's name had Danny Hebert requested a conference with her on the first day of summer vacation? Couldn't he have arranged a day during any part of the actual school year? Any day? She had enough hassles as it was since the PRT had abruptly pulled their Ward stipend from the school with zero explanation.
"Does anyone have any idea what this is about?" asked Gladly. "I had plans for today. We were going to the movies."
"I'll be sure to ask." Carrie checked the clock on the wall.
It was almost ten, which was when Hebert had requested the meeting for. He'd also requested that Gladly and Quinlan attend, for whatever reason other than they were two of his daughter's teachers, she had no idea. Was this supposed to be some kind of final appeal for them to be more careful about his precious daughter being bullied next year?
I mean, seriously, this sort of thing is better dealt with just before school lets in, not after the year's over and done with!
There was a knock at the door, then it opened. Danny Hebert stood in the doorway, not even wearing a tie. Carrie had just enough time to be irritated at that before he stepped forward. "Good. You're all here. I was hoping I wouldn't have to track you down individually."
"What?" asked Gladly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Next into the room was a man who was in fact wearing a suit and tie, and carrying a briefcase. Carrie's irritation and confusion rapidly morphed into trepidation, which blew all the way out into worry when the man put his briefcase down on the table and unsnapped the latches. "Hello," said the newcomer, taking three folded pieces of paper out of the briefcase. "This is for you … and you … and you."
The door clicked shut, and Carrie looked that way to see Taylor Hebert herself, standing with her back to it. There was a certain determination in her posture, saying loud and clear that if they wanted to get out that door, they'd have to physically move her. While Carrie was distracted, she felt one of the folded documents being pressed into her hands.
"What the hell is this?" blustered Quinlan. "And who are you?"
The stranger smiled austerely. "I am Harold Howe of DC&H, Attorneys at Law. And you've just been served."
"It's a lawsuit," Danny Hebert added helpfully. "Against the whole school, against you three in particular, and against certain other people. All of whom managed to make Taylor's time here far more difficult than it should have been."
"But—wait—I didn't—" Predictably, it was Gladly. Carrie instead chose to open the summons—for that was what it was—to see exactly what it said.
"No." That was Taylor. "You didn't. That's the trouble. When Madison and Julia put juice or glue on my chair, or dumped pencil shavings on me, or stole my homework, or threw spitballs at me, or sabotaged my classwork, you didn't see a thing. When Emma and her friends cornered me outside the classroom while you were there, you still didn't see a thing."
Carrie read some of the wording of the summons and shuddered, folding the thing again. This had to be nipped in the bud. "Ms Hebert, you can't be serious. We are not the ones who harmed you. We can't be expected to stand over our students every second of the day."
"No, you're not the ones who pulled the pranks, who locked me in my locker." Taylor's tone was venomous, her expression implacable. "You're just the ones who enabled them. You're the ones who utterly failed to protect me from half the girls in my grade for two whole years. And every time you chose not to punish them, you taught them that it was just fine to keep at me. Congratulations." She gestured at Mr Howe. "It appears that lack of action also has consequences."
Well, fuck.
<><>
Alan Barnes
When the doorbell rang, Alan Barnes' first reaction was irritation. He was relaxing on the sofa with the sports on and a drink in hand, so why the hell did he have to move now? But Emma was up in her room and Zoe was in the kitchen, so when the doorbell rang a second time without anyone calling out that they'd get it, he knew it was up to him.
"I'll get it," he grunted, setting the glass of cola down on a side table and heaving himself to his feet. As he did so, the doorbell rang a third time. "Coming!" he called out.
The trek to the front door was taken up with grumbling, so when he opened the door and saw a bright young man standing there, he was ready to growl at them.
"Good morning, Mr Barnes," the boy—surely he couldn't be more than twenty—said energetically. "The office sent me to hand-deliver this to you, sir. Very sorry if I disturbed your weekend."
"The office? Hand deliver?" His anger cut off at the knees, Alan accepted the Manila envelope that the kid handed to him. He had no idea what was going on, just that anything requiring hand delivery on a Saturday was not something he could fob off until Monday.
"Yes, sir. They said it was imperative that you look it over right now."
"Right, right." Alan broke the seal and reached into the envelope. Within was a stack of folded paper, which he extracted and started to open.
There was a click, and he looked up to see that the young man had taken his photo with a phone camera. He blinked. "What? What was that for?"
The kid beamed at him. "You've just been served, sir. Have a good day." Turning, he marched off back down Alan's front path to the gate.
"Served? What?" Suddenly realising that the lad didn't work in his offices, Alan opened the papers and scanned them quickly. "Summons? Lawsuit? Taylor?" Stepping back into the house, he shut the door behind him, then drew air into his lungs for a medium bellow. "Emma! Get down here now!"
Just as she called out to ask why, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and glanced at the caller ID; it showed the name of Rod Clements, a casual acquaintance since Emma had become close friends with Rod's daughter. "Alan here. Can it wait?"
"No, it damn well can't wait." Alan didn't know Rod well, but he seemed to be worked up over something. "I just got served a summons for a lawsuit naming Madison as a defendant, about damages to some girl called Taylor Hebert. What the hell's going on here?"
"I honestly have no idea," Alan confessed grimly. "But I fully intend to find out."
All of a sudden, missing the latest play on TV was the least of his problems.
<><>
Hebert Household, Later
Taylor
Dad leaned back on the sofa and stretched his legs out. "So, that's done. How do you feel?"
I considered my words carefully. "Pleased. Nervous. Hoping all the t's got crossed and the i's got dotted. I'd hate for them to all walk away because of something I forgot to tell Mr Howe."
"No, you did just fine talking to him. Especially with that journal you've been amassing." He reached across and ruffled her hair. "He confided to me that when he saw how much material you'd put in it, the only question left on the board was how many figures we'd be getting."
"Oh, good." I drew a deep breath and let it out again to try to quell the jitters. It didn't really work. "Well, since we've decided to hold off on launching my exterminator business until after the lawsuit is over and done with, would you have a problem with me costuming up and going out on patrol?"
He hesitated, then shook his head. "I'm still not thrilled about you going off and fighting crime on your own. There are still supervillains in town, after all, and not all of them are vulnerable to bugs. Could you get someone to watch your back, while you're watching everyone else's backs?"
The tone of his voice told me that if I didn't have any other volunteers to call on, he'd step up himself. I didn't want to put that on him; he was willing enough, but he didn't have any powers. If he got hurt because of me, I'd never forgive myself.
"I can … well, I can try. Just let me get changed first." I headed upstairs and got into my costume, checking to make sure that the body cam had fresh batteries.
Deputy Director Renick had said in passing that the offer to join the Wards was still open, especially after viewing the footage. I'd politely declined, but just being told I was good enough to join had given me a heady feeling. When I asked him why the Wards didn't wear body cams like mine—they would've caught on to Sophia's shenanigans a lot quicker, or forced her to actually act like a hero on patrol, either of which would've been a worthwhile result—he'd shaken his head and muttered something about 'youth guard'.
After double-checking the rest of my gear, I trotted downstairs again with my mask in my hand. "Okay, I'm not even sure if this'll work, but I'll give it a try. And if it doesn't … well, how do you feel about driving me around and staying in the car?"
"I'm totally okay with that," he said promptly. "I'm not against you being a hero; I just want you to come home safely."
"Hey, I'm down with that too." I gave him a smile. "But let's see if this works first." Taking a deep breath, I spoke out loud. "Uh … Snek? If you're not busy, I could do with some help going on patrol? Please?"
Dad's widening eyes clued me in at about the same time as I heard the dry sound of scales on the floor behind me. Turning, I watched Snek slither in from the kitchen. "Hello, buzzy-bug girl." He was as big and as cute as ever, especially with that hat in the middle of his broad head. "Ssnek would like to help you chasse bad men. Iss alwayss fun."
"Yes, it is. Especially when you're around." I booped him on the nose like I'd seen Diane do—he seemed to like that—and gave him a hug around his enormous neck. "It's good to see you again."
"Iss good to see buzzy-bug girl and Danny again too." Snek gave us both the kind of smile that only he could supply. "Are make-ssad boy and pew-pew boy well?"
It took me a moment to figure out what he meant, then I nodded. "Uh, yeah. Gallant and Kid Win seem to be fine. I've seen them both out on patrol since the Fugly's thing." It had made the news in a big way. Snek had hung around and they'd cooked up about a dozen Challengers for him as a snack for the road. At his request, they'd loaded on all the chilli that could fit on the burgers.
Well, he did like his spicy food.
"That iss good, buzzy-bug girl. Are you ready to go chassing bad men?"
I pulled on my mask and swung my leg over his neck. "I am now. Bye, Dad!"
"Bye, hon. Take care of her, Snek."
"Ssnek will do that, Danny. Buzzy-bug girl hold on."
I held on. A portal opened up in front of him, and we launched through it. "Woo hoo!"
<><>
On Board Squealer's Latest Contraption
Skidmark
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Skiddy?" Squealer expertly steered the armoured vehicle around the worst of the potholes. "With all the other villains gone, the heroes will be looking at us now."
"Shove it up your mung-hole, will you? We're the motherhumpin' big-ass dogs in town now." Adam took a deep drag on the pipe, then offered it to her as he held the intoxicating smoke in his lungs. She took it, steering with her knees as she applied a lighter and inhaled. In the process, the monstrous vehicle swerved from side to side, crunching up and over a derelict car, but neither of them noticed.
Handing the pipe back, she let out the smoke in a long stream to join the pre-existing fug in the cabin. "Yeah, but thing is, thing is, Protec—Protec—tectorate comes after us, we're toast."
"They'll never find us," he boasted, slapping the cabin wall. "Your shit is fuckin' amazing." He looked at the pipe and prepared to take another drag. "So's this shit. We need to get more of it."
"Uh … Skiddy?" She was slowing down.
The plan wasn't to slow down. It was to go straight to the bank, bust on in through the wall, make them open the fucking vault, and roll out of there like bandits. Or bosses. Or boss bandits. Adam didn't know how much money banks kept on hand, but it had to be like a million bucks. That would buy an absolute fuck-ton of meth.
She was still slowing down. He looked at her, irritated. "Why you slowing down, Squeals?"
"That." She pointed out through the windshield. He looked.
Coiled in the road, right in front of the oncoming vehicle, was a snake. Not just an ordinary snake, either. An ordinary snake would have to get the fuck out of the way before it ended up as street pizza, when one of Squealer's creations rolled on through.
No, this snake was the snake. The one he'd seen on the news, but decided he'd been too high to see straight. Snakes didn't get that big, and even the big ones didn't talk. Fact of nature. So it was just a drug hallucination. Trying as many drugs as he did, he was totally used to hallucinations, like the purple gorilla that used to sit at the end of his bed and give him a totally judgemental glare whenever he got wasted on smack.
But the thing about drug hallucinations was that nobody else saw them, no matter how much you pointed and screamed. And everyone saw the snake. Especially when it fucking ate Leviathan.
He'd been convinced he was high when he saw that, too. Or the snake was. How hard did the munchies have to hit before you thought it was a good idea to nom down on an Endbringer?
Anyway, seeing the snake himself now, via his own (somewhat bloodshot) eyes, and knowing Squeals was seeing it too, they were either sharing the same drug-fucked vision, or it was actually there.
As was the bug-themed girl sitting astride its neck. He had no idea what that was about.
The snake opened its mouth wide, showing off a whole array of fangs more suited to something from a horror movie, and began to uncoil, slithering in their direction. Squealer brought the tank to a halt.
"What the hell you doing?" he demanded. "Run over that scaly fuck!"
It was closer now. The fangs looked really big and really sharp. For all that he knew he was sitting inside an armoured vehicle, Skidmark began to feel nervous.
"Nope, I've seen what it does to anyone who fucks with it." She slewed the tank in a half circle, demolishing a bunch of parking meters in the process. A rear screen showed the snake really close behind, so she fed it the gas, and the tank surged forward.
"And turn on the fuckin' invisibility field while you're at it!" he yelled. "That overgrown earthworm can't chase us if it can't see us!"
"The field's already on!" she yelled back. "It can see us anyway!"
The tank was now roaring down the street at what Adam suspected were unsafe speeds for anything. When he snuck a peek in the rear-view screen, the snake was closer. "Faster!" he screeched. "Go faster!"
"I'm going as fast as I can!"
<><>
Taylor
"Get 'em, Snek!" I enthused, hanging on to Snek's neck as he slithered down the street at highway speeds. The weird vehicle ahead of us, which had only flickered into my awareness as we caught up to it, bounced and yawed through the many potholes in the road; Snek, on the other hand, glided over them without pause.
"Ssnek iss—" Snek's head came up. "Danger, buzzy-bug girl!"
His warning came too late, as a gleaming metallic cylinder arced toward us from a rooftop overhead. Even as he spoke the words, it burst, dropping a sparkling field around us. Snek tried to power through, but I felt my thought processes slowing, and saw the world outside speeding up. In an instant, the tank was gone.
"Get … help … Masster …" Snek was barely moving now, but a portal formed in front of me. He twitched his neck upward, and I tumbled through it.
In the next instant, I hit a stone-tiled floor and rolled to a halt. Looking around in confusion, I saw I was in a corridor lined with odd purple-flaring torches. Ahead of me was a large imposing wooden door. Carefully, I climbed to my feet and looked around.
The portal had closed behind me, but I suspected I knew where I was. This had to be Snek's home, where Snek's Master lived.
Raising my hand, I thumped on the thick wood with my fist. "Hello?" I called out. "Is anyone there? I need help! Snek needs help! Please!"
Abruptly, there was a metallic click, and the door swung open with nary a creak. "Enter and be welcome, Taylor Hebert of Earth Bet." The voice was warm, yet full of authority.
I stepped through the doorway, looking around for whoever had spoken. He wasn't hard to find, standing front and centre in the room. If this place was a castle, as my impressions were rapidly adding up to, then he definitely ticked all the boxes that said 'wizard'.
But I didn't care about that. I cared about getting help for Snek.
"Please," I said, stumbling forward. "If you're Snek's Master, he's in trouble. They've trapped him in some kind of time bubble that he couldn't get out of, so he sent me here."
"Really?" he asked, his tone intent. When he raised his hand, a gnarled wooden staff—another box ticked, right there—rose up and flew to his grasp. With it, he made a few simple gestures, and a three-dimensional image formed. Snek lay in the middle of the sparkling field, and two figures stood looking down at him. One, with a demonic appearance, was vaguely familiar, though I didn't know the one in the gas mask at all. "Well, well. Oni Lee and Bakuda. Her little toys are surprisingly effective. I may have to do something about that."
"Can you—" I began, but someone took me by the elbow. I looked around to see a girl a few years younger than me, dressed in utilitarian overalls, with heavy goggles pushed up on her forehead.
"Hi, I'm Riley. It's all good," she assured me. "He'll sort this out. In the meantime, want a pastry?"
"Pastry?" I repeated stupidly. "Snek's in trouble! What can he do?"
Riley grinned broadly. "Oh, trust me. You're not gonna want to miss this."
End of Part Seventeen
ThrawnCA
Carbon-based biped
- Location
- Australia
Well, well. Bakuda will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that she drew attention. Possibly in her final few seconds. She's all about showmanship and impressing people, right?
I might have to add a TVTropes page for this story. I've covered several other Ack fics recently... Edit: Nope, this one already exists.
I might have to add a TVTropes page for this story. I've covered several other Ack fics recently... Edit: Nope, this one already exists.
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shandromand
[Confirmed Dragon]
- Location
- Earth Aleph
Poor ABB capes, aboutta find out that they should never meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are squishy meat putty (and probably don't own a single anti-magic ring between them). =>
- Location
- USA
Oh no. Skidmark is going to start bragging about being the only villain--oh, yeah, Squealer was there too--who successfully got away from Snek. He's going to be insufferable.
RazorSmile
ROB Used To Be A Knife Missile
lol I was about to say exactly this.
- Location
- Australia
Briefly. He got away briefly.
Huh. will check.
RazorSmile
ROB Used To Be A Knife Missile
- Location
- Somewhere
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Tell me they had a side mirror with "objects in mirror may be closer than they appear" printed on it.
- Location
- Australia
"Sneks in mirror are definitely closer than they appear."
- Location
- Germany
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Yes, 'See Invisibility' is a rather low-level spell ...
//
@Ack - did .. did you just cliff your dear readers!?
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- Location
- Australia
Nah. If I'd ended it before Snek portaled Taylor through to his Master's castle, that would've been a cliff.
This is just an intermission to stock up on popcorn.
- Pronouns
- They/Any
I think I'll go for Riley's suggested pastry rather than popcorn - just personal preference - but yeah, this isn't a cliffie, this is the roller coaster reaching the top of its initial ascent. We all get to sit here as gravity takes hold and yell "Woo hoo!"
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I was going to say "silly Riley, popcorn is the traditional snack for watching someone get a well deserved beatdown". But then I remembered the recipe I saw recently for roasted chickpeas (garbanzo beans) which are supposed to be great for the purpose, so maybe I'll suggest that.
Part Eighteen: No Time Lost, No Lessons Learned
- Location
- Australia
Snek is a Good Boy
Part Eighteen: No Time Lost, No Lessons Learned
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
A Few Weeks Ago, In a Lab in Brockton Bay
Bakuda
"Lung is dead." For news so momentous, Oni Lee's emotionless delivery left it somewhat lacking.
Alice Takawara looked up from her latest project, which would have the capability (if she so wished) to black out all of Brockton Bay, or any other similarly-sized city. "I'm aware. I saw the footage, too. I wish I hadn't, but I did. What's your point?"
"He was killed by a giant snake. It ate him." Oni Lee sounded like a person who wasn't quite sure what righteous anger was, exactly, but was attempting to work himself up to it anyway.
"Yes," she said with all the patience she could muster (which wasn't a lot, really). "I absolutely saw that part, too. I'm going to ask you again, what's your point?"
"You will not speak to me like that." Now he seemed to be acting out indignation without quite understanding how it went. "With the death of great Lung, I am the leader of the Azn Bad Boys."
"Wait, what?" She shook her head. "No, I'm the leader of the ABB. What makes you think you are?"
He stared at her. "I have been in the Azn Bad Boys longer than you have. I was great Lung's second in command. Of course I will be the new leader."
"You were his only subordinate with powers until I came along," she countered. "By that logic, you were also the lowest ranking cape in his organisation."
"I am still the leader," he said stubbornly. "The Azn Bad Boys know me better than they know you."
She snorted. "You teleport and kill people. I make bombs that kill people in really inventive ways. I've got more imagination and creativity than you, therefore I'm the leader."
He pulled his pistol from the holster and pointed it at her. "I could kill you now. I am the leader."
"And I triggered deadman switches on most of the bombs in here when you started this argument. You wouldn't get out the door. I'm the leader."
The pistol did not waver. "You would still be dead."
He would do it, she realised. His death would not matter to him if she died too. And he probably thought he could get out in time anyway. "Okay, fine, you're the leader." Right up until I get the chance to do something about that.
"Good." He put the pistol away. "I need a bomb to kill the snake. What does this one do?" Reaching out, he picked up the nearest one. Which, as it happened, had already been activated as a part of her deadman switch. Moving it triggered the switch.
"Don't touch my—" But it was too late. The HUD in her goggles told her that the timer was now counting down. She lunged to grab it off him; only her (warm) fingerprint could shut it down in time.
He automatically recoiled, and her reaching fingers only managed to knock it out of his hand and send it rolling down the bench, bumping other bombs as it went.
Many of which she'd already activated with the deadman switch.
bip
bip
bip
bip
bip
bip
Red warnings scrolled up her HUD. Any single one of the bombs that had just been triggered, she could've shut down before it went off. Even three or four. But there were too many.
"Fuuuck! You've just killed us both, you moron!"
"Disarm them!" he shouted, pointing the pistol at her again.
"It takes five seconds per bomb, and we've got twenty seconds!" she screamed. "We don't have time!"
He dissolved into ash, and she heard him rattling the door handle. It was electronically locked, part of her deadman switch fuck-you. "Unlock this!" he bellowed.
"How about no!" He might be able to get away if she let him out, but he had two more doors to get through before he could get line of sight outside the blast radius. She figured the various bombs would take out the block, at least. As for her, she didn't have a chance. There wasn't enough time for her to reach the door, let alone …
Wait.
Time.
As the last few seconds ticked down, she darted sideways and grabbed one of the few bombs that hadn't already been activated. This was a time grenade: impact-detonated, it was to be thrown at the target, whereupon it would skip them through time for a given interval. She'd designed it to be used on annoyingly tough foes, so she could booby-trap their landing area with bombs that could kill them.
00:01.17
As she twisted the timer, an arm went around her neck and a knife touched her behind the ear. "Save us," growled Oni Lee.
00:00.83
There was no time left. She thwacked the grenade hard on the bench.
00:00.01
The lab vanished, to be replaced by a huge crater. They were falling. She screamed, suddenly aware of all the flaws in her makeshift escape plan.
The world blinked sideways, and she landed on rubble. Even the short drop was enough to knock the wind out of her, but she still had enough wits about her to watch two tiny figures fall all the way to the bottom of the crater. One of them was screaming in her voice, and flailing wildly. The impact sprayed blood across smooth vitrified glass … then the bodies and blood turned into ash that blew away with the wind.
Yanking the gas mask off, she sat up then vomited copiously, voiding her stomach of everything she'd eaten the day before … however long ago 'the day before' was. Because they'd surely been jumped through time, exactly as the grenade was intended to do. How long it had been, she wasn't sure; she'd just spun the timer as far to the right as it would go, and hoped against hope that it would work.
"Where are we? What did you do?" Oni Lee, when she looked around, had at least sheathed his knife. He stared around at the altered scenery.
"I saved our lives, just like you said." Alice wiped her mouth and chose to ignore the fact that he'd then saved her life. He wouldn't have been able to do it if she hadn't done it first. "I jumped us forward in time. That crater is what's left of my lab after you started playing lawn bowls with my bombs."
"Forward in time?" He paused for a moment, and she wondered if she was going to have to carefully explain the concept of time travel to him, using crayons and flash-cards. "How far?"
Oh, good. He still has a couple of functioning brain cells. "Not sure. Wouldn't be hours or days, they'd still be examining the hole. Probably not years, or there'd be water and dirt collected in the bottom. So … weeks? Months?"
"The Azn Bad Boys will believe we are dead." He retrieved an old flip-phone from a pouch. "I will inform them that their leader is alive."
"Well, while you do that, Imma find out what we've missed." Getting up, Alice spat a few times to get the last of the taste of the vomit out of her throat, then pulled the gas mask back down over her face. Then she took out her own phone, smugly pleased that she'd set it up with an autopay feature, drawing from her main account, and woke it up.
A couple of firmware updates called for her attention, but she put them to one side. Then she checked the date. It was Tuesday, the twenty-fourth of May. Jeez, more than a month.
Now she knew when she was, she started scrolling through the news sites, mentally noting the headlines as she went. This came to a screeching halt a very short time later, as she stared at the feed. "Son … of a bitch," she croaked. "Lee, you need to see this."
Oni Lee came to her side. "I need your phone. Mine isn't working."
She glanced at his screen, where it was saying that it was out of credit. "How do you pay for it?"
"I buy prepaid, monthly."
Somehow, she wasn't surprised. "Yeah, it's been more than a month. Your credit ran out. Gonna have to buy more. But you need to see this." She showed him the screen.
He looked at the screen. "It says the snake ate Leviathan."
"Well, yeah. The snake ate Leviathan. It ate him. Doesn't that say something to you?"
Oni Lee did not hesitate. "It means we need a bigger bomb to kill it."
She shook her head. "I'm pretty sure you're taking the wrong message away from this."
"It killed Lung. I must kill it. You will supply the bomb to kill it with. Or I will kill you."
For a one-note asshole, Alice decided, Oni Lee knew how to make his point. "Okay, fine. You've convinced me. I'll build you a bomb."
Hopefully, her secondary workshops wouldn't have been discovered by the authorities yet. Because if Oni Lee wanted her to build him a bomb, she was going to have to build him a damn bomb.
Now, what type to make that would actually kill the damned thing …?
Four Days Later
"Holy shit. It actually worked." Alice stared off the edge of the roof at the gigantic reptile, entirely trapped—and motionless, thank all the nameless gods of science, mad and otherwise—within the sparkling field. "We got the bastard."
She'd thought they were dead when it looked in their direction just before Oni Lee threw the bomb, but it had worked perfectly, even cobbled together from substandard materials as it was. Oddly enough, she'd also thought she'd seen someone riding astride its neck, but there was nobody there and the field would've trapped anyone like that inside it. The only weird thing was the hat it was wearing in the middle of its broad head. She had no idea what that was about.
Looking back over her shoulder, she called out, "Hey, it's okay! We totally got it!" Oni Lee had immediately teleported away after throwing the bomb, but he'd left her behind. Which was absolutely something they were going to have to address, going forward.
He appeared beside her an instant later, looking down at the trapped creature. "Yes, but it is only trapped. How long will it be trapped for, and how do we kill it?"
"Oh, that bit's easy." She grinned inside the gas mask. "I can rig up a bomb that'll free its head only, and leave the rest of its body in stasis. Its heart won't be beating, and its lung won't be working either. Five, ten minutes tops, and we'll be able to start skinning the fucker. I'm thinking a snakeskin jacket would look real nice."
"No."
The single word, spoken from behind them, carried a level of power and gravitas that Alice had never heard before, even from people like Alexandria who were good at that sort of thing. She turned fast, just as Oni Lee did, wondering who could've snuck up on them like that. Part of her was impressed with how fast Lee got his pistol out and trained on the newcomer.
The rest of her brain was taken up with asking herself, okay, who the hell is this guy? Because it wasn't any cape she'd ever heard of or seen pictures of, though there was a passing resemblance to Myrddin. However, where the Chicago Protectorate leader put on a good 'wizard' act, this guy hit it right out of the park. There was the funny-looking hat, the long robes, the cool-looking wooden staff and the grey beard, but that wasn't all. There was something deeper down, something visceral, that gave her a powerful gut feeling that this guy was absolutely the real deal.
But then again, so was she.
"And who the hell are you supposed to be, buddy? The snake police?" Ooh, that was a good one. She'd have to write that down, later.
"No. I am the Master of the Castle, and Snek is my familiar." The wizard guy gestured with his free hand toward the trapped snake.
At the first move, Oni Lee shot him. Or rather, he pulled the trigger. There was a flat crack, a muzzle-flare, and a bullet flying out of the muzzle.
This last bit, Alice had never seen before. She'd also never seen a bullet slow down and stop in midair before, so that was new as well. And all the guy—the Master of the Castle, who she'd definitely never heard of before—had done was move his hand a bit.
Oni Lee was already acting. Yanking one of the grenades off his bandolier, he pulled the pin and let it go. This was something Alice had seen before, but always from a much greater distance. She knew how Oni Lee did this sort of thing; he would've started the teleport-clone thing before he ever pulled the pin, so the new version of him, wherever he ended up, would be holding a safe grenade, pin still securely in place.
All of which would've been perfectly okay—Oni Lee had honed his technique, and it worked for him—except that by doing so, the asshole had left her in the firing line again. Much more of this and she'd start to wonder if he even had her best interests at heart. Biting off the urge to yell something extremely unkind at him, she went for the only place she could see that would escape the explosion: off the roof. Hitting the pavement from twenty-plus feet up would hurt, but not as much as taking a grenade to the face from five feet away.
Alice was no stranger to high-adrenaline situations, and occasionally she'd even encountered the sensation where time seemed to stretch out to eternity when she was trying to evade danger. But this time was different. Normally, all she'd have time to think of was 'this is going to hurt' or something similar before the cracked and worn concrete stopped looming up at her and became part of her new life. But now she was halfway off the roof and had taken several breaths, and she still hadn't fallen.
She took an experimental breath, then another. Falling still hadn't happened. The grenade still hadn't gone off. Neither had Oni Lee—just barely visible from the corner of her eye—dissolved into ash. "Okay," she said out loud. "What the hell?"
And then things seemed to rewind a little. From her panicked dive off the roof, she was pulled back until she was standing in front of the wizardly cape again. The grenade was there as well, hanging in midair, with the case open and the bits and pieces spread out like a how-to manual.
"As I have already said, I am the Master of the Castle." The wizard tapped the gnarled staff on the roof of the building once, and both the grenade and Oni Lee's pistol vanished. So did all the other grenades on Oni Lee's bandolier. "I do not countenance such treacherous attacks on Snek with good grace. Bakuda and Oni Lee of Earth Bet, what have you to say for yourselves?"
Alice tried to move, but discovered that everything below the neck was totally unresponsive to her commands. From the way Oni Lee's head was twitching, he was suffering the same problem. Which meant they were dealing with a terrifyingly powerful Master, not to mention a Shaker and whatever he'd done to vanish the grenades and the gun. And Oni Lee still hadn't dissolved into ash, which strongly suggested that he couldn't.
"The snake ate Lung." Oni Lee's voice cut into Alice's frantic attempts to think of a way out of this. "It attacked the Azn Bad Boys. For that, it had to die."
Fuuuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Alice discarded her earlier notion that Oni Lee had brain cells to spare. Apparently he'd just used up his last one. "Ignore him," she blurted. "He's got a thing. His head. Brain damage or something."
The Master of the Castle glanced at her, then back at Oni Lee, his gaze piercing and knife-sharp. "So I see. You parahumans and your addictions to power. Even when they drain your very thoughts and drive you to attack one another, you cannot help but use them."
Stung, Alice struggled uselessly against her invisible bonds. "I'd like to see you do better," she spat.
"Were you to know me for who I am, you would not pose such a challenge." His voice was calm and reproving, before he raised it in a command. "Snek! Your Master calls!" Again, he tapped his staff on the rooftop.
Alice saw glowing rainbow ripples spread out from the impact point, across the roof and down the side of the building. She could not move her head to look over her shoulder, but a few seconds later she heard the dry rustling sound of the snake's scales. The huge blunt nose edged over the rooftop beside her, and she found herself under inspection by a gold-fringed eye as large as her head. Then the mouth opened to exhibit its extraordinary dentition as it spoke. "Hello, Masster. Thank you for ssaving me. Iss buzzy-bug girl well?"
"She is indeed, Snek." Where the Master's expression had been stern and forbidding the whole time he'd been talking to her and Oni Lee, for Snek he produced an austere smile. "She was quite concerned about your well-being. You have found good friends. I'm proud of you."
"Ssnek thinkss sso too, Masster." The snake seemed to preen at the praise. "Ssnek hass much fun chassing bad men with buzzy-bug girl and with Mouss. Monsster Lev-i-a-than wass alsso tassty." It curled its head around to survey Alice and Oni Lee. "Masster hass caught bad man and bad woman who caught Ssnek in trap."
"Yes, I have." The Master took on a pensive expression, one that Alice didn't trust for an instant. People with that level of power didn't do anything without having all their moves planned far ahead. "However, before I decide what to do with them, there is one other thing I must do. For fairness, if nothing else."
"Wait, what are you going to do?" Alice had already figured out that they were thoroughly screwed, but that last bit sounded ominous as fuck. "We've got rights—"
"Rights which you ignore whenever convenient," he interrupted. "However, set your mind at ease. You, I will not touch. Your comrade, on the other hand, has been sorely misused by his power."
Reaching out, the bearded man tapped Oni Lee on the forehead of the Kabuki mask he wore. A shimmering silvery glow settled over the black-clad assassin, then gradually faded out of view. Oni Lee shook his head as though dazed. "What … what did you do to me? My mind feels so clear."
"It was a simple enough spell." The Master of the Castle smiled briefly. "I reversed the damage done to your intellect by those perfidious powers you all seem to swear by. Now then, I offer you each a choice …"
Taylor
With my mask tucked away in my storage pack, I munched on a pastry while I watched the show. I wasn't really sure who'd done the cooking but it was extremely tasty, and Snek had enjoyed larger pieces that had evidently been prepared with him in mind. "So, this happens a lot?" I asked Snek, as both Riley and the Master of the Castle were busy.
"Yess, buzzy-bug girl," Snek replied. "Ssometimess, Ssnek bringss bad men and women to Masster and he takess away problem powerss and ssendss them out into the world. They sseem happier there."
"Huh." It made for an odd kind of sense, but considering the number of villains that had simply vanished after encountering Snek, I could see how it worked. "Do you do this with every villain you catch? Because some of them are pretty nasty, just saying."
Snek didn't answer for a moment, and we watched as Oni Lee's powers were decanted from his head and stored in a large crystal-clear glass jar as swirls of flickering darkness. There were more than a few jars of this type lining the shelves of the laboratory.
"No, buzzy-bug girl. Ssome bad people, Ssnek jusst eatss." His tone was completely matter of fact. "But all otherss have chossen to losse powerss and sstay on Masster'ss world."
I tilted my head. "Aren't you worried that they might … well, go and be criminals here, too?"
The Master of the Castle placed the jar on the shelf next to Bakuda's and turned back to us. "That is always a possibility, Taylor Hebert of Earth Bet. There are indeed those who are predisposed to crime from the beginning. However, it is my observation that when removed from those influences—both inward and outward—that placed them in such a situation, many will rethink their ways. I offer that chance. And for those that choose the way of banditry nonetheless?" He chuckled dryly. "Here, justice is swift and efficient."
"Oh." I figured, in hindsight, that a world with magic might not be as medieval and backward as popular culture might describe. "Um … so. Snek, are you still up for that patrol?"
The large head came up and he smiled. "Ssnek iss always ready to have fun with friendss."
"Awesome." I handed the plate back to Riley, and retrieved my mask. "Thank you again for saving Snek."
The Master of the Castle nodded in my direction. "Thank you for being his friend."
I swung my leg over Snek's neck. "That's no problem at all. He's a good boy."
"Thank you, buzzy-bug girl." Snek turned and started wriggling toward the door. "Buzzy-bug girl hold on."
"Kick their asses for me, Taylor!" called Riley.
I gave her a thumb's up over my shoulder, just before the door opened and Snek opened a portal on the other side of it. "Totally."
And then we were gone again.
End of Part Eighteen
Part Eighteen: No Time Lost, No Lessons Learned
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
A Few Weeks Ago, In a Lab in Brockton Bay
Bakuda
"Lung is dead." For news so momentous, Oni Lee's emotionless delivery left it somewhat lacking.
Alice Takawara looked up from her latest project, which would have the capability (if she so wished) to black out all of Brockton Bay, or any other similarly-sized city. "I'm aware. I saw the footage, too. I wish I hadn't, but I did. What's your point?"
"He was killed by a giant snake. It ate him." Oni Lee sounded like a person who wasn't quite sure what righteous anger was, exactly, but was attempting to work himself up to it anyway.
"Yes," she said with all the patience she could muster (which wasn't a lot, really). "I absolutely saw that part, too. I'm going to ask you again, what's your point?"
"You will not speak to me like that." Now he seemed to be acting out indignation without quite understanding how it went. "With the death of great Lung, I am the leader of the Azn Bad Boys."
"Wait, what?" She shook her head. "No, I'm the leader of the ABB. What makes you think you are?"
He stared at her. "I have been in the Azn Bad Boys longer than you have. I was great Lung's second in command. Of course I will be the new leader."
"You were his only subordinate with powers until I came along," she countered. "By that logic, you were also the lowest ranking cape in his organisation."
"I am still the leader," he said stubbornly. "The Azn Bad Boys know me better than they know you."
She snorted. "You teleport and kill people. I make bombs that kill people in really inventive ways. I've got more imagination and creativity than you, therefore I'm the leader."
He pulled his pistol from the holster and pointed it at her. "I could kill you now. I am the leader."
"And I triggered deadman switches on most of the bombs in here when you started this argument. You wouldn't get out the door. I'm the leader."
The pistol did not waver. "You would still be dead."
He would do it, she realised. His death would not matter to him if she died too. And he probably thought he could get out in time anyway. "Okay, fine, you're the leader." Right up until I get the chance to do something about that.
"Good." He put the pistol away. "I need a bomb to kill the snake. What does this one do?" Reaching out, he picked up the nearest one. Which, as it happened, had already been activated as a part of her deadman switch. Moving it triggered the switch.
"Don't touch my—" But it was too late. The HUD in her goggles told her that the timer was now counting down. She lunged to grab it off him; only her (warm) fingerprint could shut it down in time.
He automatically recoiled, and her reaching fingers only managed to knock it out of his hand and send it rolling down the bench, bumping other bombs as it went.
Many of which she'd already activated with the deadman switch.
bip
bip
bip
bip
bip
bip
Red warnings scrolled up her HUD. Any single one of the bombs that had just been triggered, she could've shut down before it went off. Even three or four. But there were too many.
"Fuuuck! You've just killed us both, you moron!"
"Disarm them!" he shouted, pointing the pistol at her again.
"It takes five seconds per bomb, and we've got twenty seconds!" she screamed. "We don't have time!"
He dissolved into ash, and she heard him rattling the door handle. It was electronically locked, part of her deadman switch fuck-you. "Unlock this!" he bellowed.
"How about no!" He might be able to get away if she let him out, but he had two more doors to get through before he could get line of sight outside the blast radius. She figured the various bombs would take out the block, at least. As for her, she didn't have a chance. There wasn't enough time for her to reach the door, let alone …
Wait.
Time.
As the last few seconds ticked down, she darted sideways and grabbed one of the few bombs that hadn't already been activated. This was a time grenade: impact-detonated, it was to be thrown at the target, whereupon it would skip them through time for a given interval. She'd designed it to be used on annoyingly tough foes, so she could booby-trap their landing area with bombs that could kill them.
00:01.17
As she twisted the timer, an arm went around her neck and a knife touched her behind the ear. "Save us," growled Oni Lee.
00:00.83
There was no time left. She thwacked the grenade hard on the bench.
00:00.01
The lab vanished, to be replaced by a huge crater. They were falling. She screamed, suddenly aware of all the flaws in her makeshift escape plan.
The world blinked sideways, and she landed on rubble. Even the short drop was enough to knock the wind out of her, but she still had enough wits about her to watch two tiny figures fall all the way to the bottom of the crater. One of them was screaming in her voice, and flailing wildly. The impact sprayed blood across smooth vitrified glass … then the bodies and blood turned into ash that blew away with the wind.
Yanking the gas mask off, she sat up then vomited copiously, voiding her stomach of everything she'd eaten the day before … however long ago 'the day before' was. Because they'd surely been jumped through time, exactly as the grenade was intended to do. How long it had been, she wasn't sure; she'd just spun the timer as far to the right as it would go, and hoped against hope that it would work.
"Where are we? What did you do?" Oni Lee, when she looked around, had at least sheathed his knife. He stared around at the altered scenery.
"I saved our lives, just like you said." Alice wiped her mouth and chose to ignore the fact that he'd then saved her life. He wouldn't have been able to do it if she hadn't done it first. "I jumped us forward in time. That crater is what's left of my lab after you started playing lawn bowls with my bombs."
"Forward in time?" He paused for a moment, and she wondered if she was going to have to carefully explain the concept of time travel to him, using crayons and flash-cards. "How far?"
Oh, good. He still has a couple of functioning brain cells. "Not sure. Wouldn't be hours or days, they'd still be examining the hole. Probably not years, or there'd be water and dirt collected in the bottom. So … weeks? Months?"
"The Azn Bad Boys will believe we are dead." He retrieved an old flip-phone from a pouch. "I will inform them that their leader is alive."
"Well, while you do that, Imma find out what we've missed." Getting up, Alice spat a few times to get the last of the taste of the vomit out of her throat, then pulled the gas mask back down over her face. Then she took out her own phone, smugly pleased that she'd set it up with an autopay feature, drawing from her main account, and woke it up.
A couple of firmware updates called for her attention, but she put them to one side. Then she checked the date. It was Tuesday, the twenty-fourth of May. Jeez, more than a month.
Now she knew when she was, she started scrolling through the news sites, mentally noting the headlines as she went. This came to a screeching halt a very short time later, as she stared at the feed. "Son … of a bitch," she croaked. "Lee, you need to see this."
Oni Lee came to her side. "I need your phone. Mine isn't working."
She glanced at his screen, where it was saying that it was out of credit. "How do you pay for it?"
"I buy prepaid, monthly."
Somehow, she wasn't surprised. "Yeah, it's been more than a month. Your credit ran out. Gonna have to buy more. But you need to see this." She showed him the screen.
He looked at the screen. "It says the snake ate Leviathan."
"Well, yeah. The snake ate Leviathan. It ate him. Doesn't that say something to you?"
Oni Lee did not hesitate. "It means we need a bigger bomb to kill it."
She shook her head. "I'm pretty sure you're taking the wrong message away from this."
"It killed Lung. I must kill it. You will supply the bomb to kill it with. Or I will kill you."
For a one-note asshole, Alice decided, Oni Lee knew how to make his point. "Okay, fine. You've convinced me. I'll build you a bomb."
Hopefully, her secondary workshops wouldn't have been discovered by the authorities yet. Because if Oni Lee wanted her to build him a bomb, she was going to have to build him a damn bomb.
Now, what type to make that would actually kill the damned thing …?
<><>
Four Days Later
"Holy shit. It actually worked." Alice stared off the edge of the roof at the gigantic reptile, entirely trapped—and motionless, thank all the nameless gods of science, mad and otherwise—within the sparkling field. "We got the bastard."
She'd thought they were dead when it looked in their direction just before Oni Lee threw the bomb, but it had worked perfectly, even cobbled together from substandard materials as it was. Oddly enough, she'd also thought she'd seen someone riding astride its neck, but there was nobody there and the field would've trapped anyone like that inside it. The only weird thing was the hat it was wearing in the middle of its broad head. She had no idea what that was about.
Looking back over her shoulder, she called out, "Hey, it's okay! We totally got it!" Oni Lee had immediately teleported away after throwing the bomb, but he'd left her behind. Which was absolutely something they were going to have to address, going forward.
He appeared beside her an instant later, looking down at the trapped creature. "Yes, but it is only trapped. How long will it be trapped for, and how do we kill it?"
"Oh, that bit's easy." She grinned inside the gas mask. "I can rig up a bomb that'll free its head only, and leave the rest of its body in stasis. Its heart won't be beating, and its lung won't be working either. Five, ten minutes tops, and we'll be able to start skinning the fucker. I'm thinking a snakeskin jacket would look real nice."
"No."
The single word, spoken from behind them, carried a level of power and gravitas that Alice had never heard before, even from people like Alexandria who were good at that sort of thing. She turned fast, just as Oni Lee did, wondering who could've snuck up on them like that. Part of her was impressed with how fast Lee got his pistol out and trained on the newcomer.
The rest of her brain was taken up with asking herself, okay, who the hell is this guy? Because it wasn't any cape she'd ever heard of or seen pictures of, though there was a passing resemblance to Myrddin. However, where the Chicago Protectorate leader put on a good 'wizard' act, this guy hit it right out of the park. There was the funny-looking hat, the long robes, the cool-looking wooden staff and the grey beard, but that wasn't all. There was something deeper down, something visceral, that gave her a powerful gut feeling that this guy was absolutely the real deal.
But then again, so was she.
"And who the hell are you supposed to be, buddy? The snake police?" Ooh, that was a good one. She'd have to write that down, later.
"No. I am the Master of the Castle, and Snek is my familiar." The wizard guy gestured with his free hand toward the trapped snake.
At the first move, Oni Lee shot him. Or rather, he pulled the trigger. There was a flat crack, a muzzle-flare, and a bullet flying out of the muzzle.
This last bit, Alice had never seen before. She'd also never seen a bullet slow down and stop in midair before, so that was new as well. And all the guy—the Master of the Castle, who she'd definitely never heard of before—had done was move his hand a bit.
Oni Lee was already acting. Yanking one of the grenades off his bandolier, he pulled the pin and let it go. This was something Alice had seen before, but always from a much greater distance. She knew how Oni Lee did this sort of thing; he would've started the teleport-clone thing before he ever pulled the pin, so the new version of him, wherever he ended up, would be holding a safe grenade, pin still securely in place.
All of which would've been perfectly okay—Oni Lee had honed his technique, and it worked for him—except that by doing so, the asshole had left her in the firing line again. Much more of this and she'd start to wonder if he even had her best interests at heart. Biting off the urge to yell something extremely unkind at him, she went for the only place she could see that would escape the explosion: off the roof. Hitting the pavement from twenty-plus feet up would hurt, but not as much as taking a grenade to the face from five feet away.
Alice was no stranger to high-adrenaline situations, and occasionally she'd even encountered the sensation where time seemed to stretch out to eternity when she was trying to evade danger. But this time was different. Normally, all she'd have time to think of was 'this is going to hurt' or something similar before the cracked and worn concrete stopped looming up at her and became part of her new life. But now she was halfway off the roof and had taken several breaths, and she still hadn't fallen.
She took an experimental breath, then another. Falling still hadn't happened. The grenade still hadn't gone off. Neither had Oni Lee—just barely visible from the corner of her eye—dissolved into ash. "Okay," she said out loud. "What the hell?"
And then things seemed to rewind a little. From her panicked dive off the roof, she was pulled back until she was standing in front of the wizardly cape again. The grenade was there as well, hanging in midair, with the case open and the bits and pieces spread out like a how-to manual.
"As I have already said, I am the Master of the Castle." The wizard tapped the gnarled staff on the roof of the building once, and both the grenade and Oni Lee's pistol vanished. So did all the other grenades on Oni Lee's bandolier. "I do not countenance such treacherous attacks on Snek with good grace. Bakuda and Oni Lee of Earth Bet, what have you to say for yourselves?"
Alice tried to move, but discovered that everything below the neck was totally unresponsive to her commands. From the way Oni Lee's head was twitching, he was suffering the same problem. Which meant they were dealing with a terrifyingly powerful Master, not to mention a Shaker and whatever he'd done to vanish the grenades and the gun. And Oni Lee still hadn't dissolved into ash, which strongly suggested that he couldn't.
"The snake ate Lung." Oni Lee's voice cut into Alice's frantic attempts to think of a way out of this. "It attacked the Azn Bad Boys. For that, it had to die."
Fuuuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Alice discarded her earlier notion that Oni Lee had brain cells to spare. Apparently he'd just used up his last one. "Ignore him," she blurted. "He's got a thing. His head. Brain damage or something."
The Master of the Castle glanced at her, then back at Oni Lee, his gaze piercing and knife-sharp. "So I see. You parahumans and your addictions to power. Even when they drain your very thoughts and drive you to attack one another, you cannot help but use them."
Stung, Alice struggled uselessly against her invisible bonds. "I'd like to see you do better," she spat.
"Were you to know me for who I am, you would not pose such a challenge." His voice was calm and reproving, before he raised it in a command. "Snek! Your Master calls!" Again, he tapped his staff on the rooftop.
Alice saw glowing rainbow ripples spread out from the impact point, across the roof and down the side of the building. She could not move her head to look over her shoulder, but a few seconds later she heard the dry rustling sound of the snake's scales. The huge blunt nose edged over the rooftop beside her, and she found herself under inspection by a gold-fringed eye as large as her head. Then the mouth opened to exhibit its extraordinary dentition as it spoke. "Hello, Masster. Thank you for ssaving me. Iss buzzy-bug girl well?"
"She is indeed, Snek." Where the Master's expression had been stern and forbidding the whole time he'd been talking to her and Oni Lee, for Snek he produced an austere smile. "She was quite concerned about your well-being. You have found good friends. I'm proud of you."
"Ssnek thinkss sso too, Masster." The snake seemed to preen at the praise. "Ssnek hass much fun chassing bad men with buzzy-bug girl and with Mouss. Monsster Lev-i-a-than wass alsso tassty." It curled its head around to survey Alice and Oni Lee. "Masster hass caught bad man and bad woman who caught Ssnek in trap."
"Yes, I have." The Master took on a pensive expression, one that Alice didn't trust for an instant. People with that level of power didn't do anything without having all their moves planned far ahead. "However, before I decide what to do with them, there is one other thing I must do. For fairness, if nothing else."
"Wait, what are you going to do?" Alice had already figured out that they were thoroughly screwed, but that last bit sounded ominous as fuck. "We've got rights—"
"Rights which you ignore whenever convenient," he interrupted. "However, set your mind at ease. You, I will not touch. Your comrade, on the other hand, has been sorely misused by his power."
Reaching out, the bearded man tapped Oni Lee on the forehead of the Kabuki mask he wore. A shimmering silvery glow settled over the black-clad assassin, then gradually faded out of view. Oni Lee shook his head as though dazed. "What … what did you do to me? My mind feels so clear."
"It was a simple enough spell." The Master of the Castle smiled briefly. "I reversed the damage done to your intellect by those perfidious powers you all seem to swear by. Now then, I offer you each a choice …"
<><>
Taylor
With my mask tucked away in my storage pack, I munched on a pastry while I watched the show. I wasn't really sure who'd done the cooking but it was extremely tasty, and Snek had enjoyed larger pieces that had evidently been prepared with him in mind. "So, this happens a lot?" I asked Snek, as both Riley and the Master of the Castle were busy.
"Yess, buzzy-bug girl," Snek replied. "Ssometimess, Ssnek bringss bad men and women to Masster and he takess away problem powerss and ssendss them out into the world. They sseem happier there."
"Huh." It made for an odd kind of sense, but considering the number of villains that had simply vanished after encountering Snek, I could see how it worked. "Do you do this with every villain you catch? Because some of them are pretty nasty, just saying."
Snek didn't answer for a moment, and we watched as Oni Lee's powers were decanted from his head and stored in a large crystal-clear glass jar as swirls of flickering darkness. There were more than a few jars of this type lining the shelves of the laboratory.
"No, buzzy-bug girl. Ssome bad people, Ssnek jusst eatss." His tone was completely matter of fact. "But all otherss have chossen to losse powerss and sstay on Masster'ss world."
I tilted my head. "Aren't you worried that they might … well, go and be criminals here, too?"
The Master of the Castle placed the jar on the shelf next to Bakuda's and turned back to us. "That is always a possibility, Taylor Hebert of Earth Bet. There are indeed those who are predisposed to crime from the beginning. However, it is my observation that when removed from those influences—both inward and outward—that placed them in such a situation, many will rethink their ways. I offer that chance. And for those that choose the way of banditry nonetheless?" He chuckled dryly. "Here, justice is swift and efficient."
"Oh." I figured, in hindsight, that a world with magic might not be as medieval and backward as popular culture might describe. "Um … so. Snek, are you still up for that patrol?"
The large head came up and he smiled. "Ssnek iss always ready to have fun with friendss."
"Awesome." I handed the plate back to Riley, and retrieved my mask. "Thank you again for saving Snek."
The Master of the Castle nodded in my direction. "Thank you for being his friend."
I swung my leg over Snek's neck. "That's no problem at all. He's a good boy."
"Thank you, buzzy-bug girl." Snek turned and started wriggling toward the door. "Buzzy-bug girl hold on."
"Kick their asses for me, Taylor!" called Riley.
I gave her a thumb's up over my shoulder, just before the door opened and Snek opened a portal on the other side of it. "Totally."
And then we were gone again.
End of Part Eighteen
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