- Location
- Australia
Good catch, fixing now.
Well, the one advantage of not follow a thread for a couple of months, is that you get to catch up 
the downside is that when you have caught up, you either have to wait months (again) before you can repeat it again, or you have to wait for a chapter updated and read it then (like everyone else.)
Either way, you're doing a very good job and I'm looking forward for more updates!
the downside is that when you have caught up, you either have to wait months (again) before you can repeat it again, or you have to wait for a chapter updated and read it then (like everyone else.)Either way, you're doing a very good job and I'm looking forward for more updates!
- Location
- Australia
You know, Snek comes out once a month.Well, the one advantage of not follow a thread for a couple of months, is that you get to catch up
Either way, you're doing a very good job and I'm looking forward for more updates!
Kryslin
[Has Delusions of Authorship]
- Location
- Mythic Iowa
wingnut2292
<Verified Sugar Addict>
- Location
- Milwaukee Metro
Does the ex-dragon pine for the fjords?
- Location
- Australia
It doesn't pine for anything, on account of being rather deceased.
Part Fourteen: Snek vs Butcher
- Location
- Australia
Snek is a Good Boy
Part Fourteen: Snek versus Butcher
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
Snek has been having fun.
Snek went to world with sharp-tooth lizards and played chase games with them. Big-tooth lizard tried to eat sharp-tooth lizard, so Snek ate big-tooth lizard. Sharp-tooth lizards very happy.
Now Snek thinks Mouse would like to meet sharp-tooth lizards, so he makes wriggle-hole to go to Mouse world. He knows Mouse is nearby, and starts to look for her. Mouse is always happy to see Snek. Snek is always happy to see Mouse, too. Mouse is Snek's friend.
As Snek is looking for Mouse, Master's spell tells him that she is in trouble. Mouse is smart and fast, but there are many bad men in this world that Snek has not yet eaten. He sniffs for Mouse and finds her scent, then smells others around her. Bad men are not allowed to hurt Mouse.
Snek is a good boy.
Snek will help Mouse.
A Small Town Near Brockton Bay
Mouse Protector
How do I keep getting in these situations?
Oh, wait. Because I go looking for them.
Diane slashed her sword across Reaver's calf muscle, then stabbed him in the arm just before he would've caught his weight on it, causing him to dramatically faceplant. A cloud of tiny sharp force fields closed in around her, threatening to slide in through the gaps in her armour, so she teleported to one of her marks. Scooping up the small rubber puck—she'd started using these after Leviathan—she renewed the mark, then tossed it up onto a nearby rooftop.
The teleport gave her a small breathing space, which was good. While she wasn't in nearly as fraught a position as she'd been in when Snek rescued her from the Slaughterhouse Nine, it was still a good idea not to take her eye off the ball. Reaver was out of the fight for the moment, but that still left the rest of Butcher's personal cadre of assholes to contend with.
It wasn't as though she'd picked this fight to begin with; she'd just been in the area when the police bands started screaming about the Teeth attacking people at random. As she'd always contended, it was up to people like her to protect the mice of the world, human and otherwise. So she'd armoured up and gone looking for them, hoping to be able to occupy their attention until any other heroes in the vicinity deigned to show up and help drive them off.
Well, nobody can deny that I got their attention. As for the other half of the plan, where she enlisted another hero's assistance to drive them off, she was still working on that bit. But if she could disable a few more of them, maybe they'd decide to retreat all on their own. It was a possibility, anyway.
With a boom and a blast of flame that sent Diane tumbling out of the way, Butcher pulled off her own personal brand of teleportation. Personally, Diane thought it was way too overwrought; teleportation was flashy enough as it was without having some attention-seeking glory hound adding to it by tacking on an explosive blast. In fact, Butcher couldn't get much more on the nose if she tried.
Not that Diane wanted to take her on, either at range or in hand to hand. Due to the lineup of capes who had gone through the Butcher name, the arrogant villain had access to all the good powers. Fighting her in melee was a losing proposition, due to her Brute-level durability and strength; those that could match her in those matters would find it impossible to pin her down, because of the teleport capability.
At range, it was worse, because not only did she possess a danger sense of sorts, but she had access to a bunch of ranged attack powers, up to and including the ability to sense the cardiovascular systems of her opponents and target them unerringly—even through walls—with the minigun she carried. Which Diane considered to be the highest form of cheating. (As someone who cheated in combat all the time, she figured she was an expert on the matter).
She couldn't help wondering, though, what moron considered it a good idea to sell ammunition to the Butcher. A belt of the gleaming cartridges led up and over Butcher's shoulder, disappearing into her bulky backpack, along with a black insulated cable. Diane guessed that the cable was for the gun's battery, while the rest of the pack had to be stuffed full of bullets. No mundane human would be able to heft that sheer mass, much less the multi-barrelled gun attached to it.
Still, all she had to do was—
Pain lanced through her body. Unable to concentrate on her plan of teleporting away, Diane went to one knee. The barrels began to spin, faster and faster, as the gun angled around toward her. Her armour would probably fend off the first burst, but if Butcher got the idea to literally rip her out of it, there wouldn't be much she could do about it. Unless, and she had to pin her hopes on this, Butcher let up on the pain infliction power first.
By the time she realised Animos was on site as well, it was too late. His scream washed over her, draining her powers away so she couldn't teleport even if Butcher did let up on the pain. Well, crap. I'm going to die here, to an ensemble supervillain and a wannabe werewolf.
"Bad sspike lady!" Snek's voice was the most welcome sound Diane had ever heard, and that was saying something. "No hurt Mouss!" Barrelling out of a portal, he went straight on the offensive and wrapped up Butcher (gun and all) in an implacable embrace. "Ssnek eatss bad men for that! Bad lady no different!"
The agony let up immediately, which Diane could understand. Being enfolded by that enormously strong body, immunity to pain notwithstanding, would be highly distracting and terrible for concentration. She was still powerless—Animos' scream had a reasonable duration on it—but at least Snek was here now.
There was a metallic crunching and then an explosive burst of flame; Butcher had (of course) teleported away, once she realised she couldn't get out of Snek's coils. Almost immediately, Animos unleashed his scream in Snek's direction. Snek looked around curiously at him. "Hello, sshouting doggy," he said happily. "Ssnek like doggy. Doggy makess good ssnack."
That was apparently when Animos realised his mistake, but by then it was far, far too late. Snek could move very quickly indeed when he wanted to. The wolf-like cape began to turn away, only to run head-first into … Snek.
As had happened to Butcher, the gigantic serpent wrapped his body around Animos and squeezed. There was time for a very brief scream, and the crackling of snapping bones. Diane knew the exact moment when Animos died, because her powers came back. She looked away as Snek began to ingest the dead Changer, because while Animos had been a bad person and all that, it was still creepy to watch someone being eaten.
"Iss Mouss alright?" asked Snek after a short interval. "Not hurt?"
"I'm good now, Snek." She smiled as she gave him a hug. "You're really good at that last-minute rescue thing. I should be taking notes."
"Ssnek iss happy to help Mouss. Will go find exssplodey sspike lady and otherss."
"I'll help." She felt it was important to make sure Snek knew what was going on. "Explodey spike lady is called Butcher. Her gang is called the Teeth. They're all very bad people." Though she was totally calling Butcher 'explodey spike lady' to her face if she got the chance. Snek's naming scheme was just adorable.
"Ssnek undersstandss," the enormous reptile replied seriously. "Sshould Ssnek put them in prisson ccell, or jusst eat them? Ssnek hass eaten big-tooth lizard and iss not feeling very hungry."
"Putting Butcher in a prison cell wouldn't really work," Diane mused. "She'd simply teleport straight out again. Though we don't want to just—"
She meant to say kill her, but she was rudely interrupted by a huge arrow, at least four feet in length, that came up over a nearby building. It should have gone far over their heads, but as Diane watched, its path curved dramatically, aiming it straight toward the two of them. Crossing the distance in an instant, it hit her armour right over her heart … and shattered.
Welp, it looks like the Master's protection against sucker punches still works just fine. Not that Diane was the least bit surprised. Snek's boss gave the distinct impression that anything he enchanted stayed enchanted.
"Butcher sshoot twang-arrow?" asked Snek, looking in that direction.
Diane nodded. "I'm pretty sure you broke her gun when you gave her your patented snuggly-hug, so yeah, that would be her practicing archery on us."
As if to confirm her words, another arrow came arcing up over the building. This was followed by another one; as soon as the second one came into view, both corrected their courses. Diane could tell that both were aiming directly at Snek this time. She'd just opened her mouth to shout a warning when Snek's head blurred to the left and right, faster than her eyes could follow, accompanied by a snapsnap. Snek turned toward her, smiling his Snekky smile, with the fletchings of the arrows protruding from each side of his mouth.
"Butcher iss bad persson," he said as his tongue conveyed the arrows to the back of his mouth. Diane had an idea that he had some way of keeping things safe back there (as he had with Bonesaw) but she didn't quite feel confident about asking for details. "Ssnek will go catch her." Opening a portal in front of him, he slithered into it with his usual fluid rapidity.
"Yeah," Diane murmured as she pulled out another puck and marked it, then tossed it into a shadowed niche. "You go do that, Snek."
Her plan for another hero had come through in spades after all, though she hadn't expected her knight in Snekky armour to show up quite as dramatically as he had. With Butcher's attention entirely taken up with avoiding Snek (not that she could do that for long) Diane now had free rein to go after the remainder of this contingent of the Teeth. That much, she figured, she could handle.
Humming a tune which may or may not have featured on The Mouse Protector Show, she strode off in search of miscreants to beat up in her own inimitable style.
Butcher
What the hell is that thing?
Well, clearly it's the snake.
I know it's the snake, dumbass. How is it doing what it's doing?
I don't know. Maybe snakes react differently?
The cape who had once been known as Quarrel did her best to ignore the infighting going on in the back of her mind. Butchers I and IV were particularly aggrieved, as their signature attacks—pain and festering wounds, respectively—came to nothing on the gigantic snake. She herself was more than a little peeved that she'd shot an arrow at Mouse Protector and gotten no effect, even though it should've gone through anything short of an inch-thick steel plate. But even that was nothing beside the fact that the snake had caught the next two arrows in its mouth, and apparently eaten them.
Not being affected at all is not the same as 'reacting differently'!
Well, we've got other powers! Find one that will affect it!
Her danger sense flaring, she dived aside from a gaping-mouthed lunge. Arrows scattered from her quiver as she performed an unplanned shoulder-roll. Large and no doubt very sharp teeth clashed together just short of her heels; she scrambled to her feet and bolted. Rage did not seem to be the best idea to inflict it with, given that it was already trying to kill her.
Why couldn't you have come to the party with the ability to reduce someone's anger? she mentally yelled at Butcher IX's shade. That might've been useful!
We're the fucking Butcher! he bellowed back. We don't do de-escalation!
Well, maybe we should've taken the time to fucking learn! She dived aside from another strike by the snake, then teleported as far away as she could. That she was abandoning the rest of the team was clear to her, but she consoled herself with the knowledge that they'd do exactly the same to her if the situation was reversed. Serves them right. They shouldn't have talked me into this.
She paused, looking around, waiting for the snake to emerge from one of those damned portals. How did a giant snake get to learn how to teleport, anyway?
Probably the same place it learned how to talk, snarked Butcher III.
Shut the fuck up.
In the distance, she heard a scream as Spree (she guessed) got taken down by that damned joke hero. Fighting Mouse Protector would've been more satisfying if she took the hero-villain thing more seriously. As it was, no villain wanted to go near her, because all she did was throw cheesy puns while beating the crap out of them.
The snake still hadn't popped its head out of a portal yet, but she wasn't fooled. The instant she targeted Mouse Protector again, it would return. And unlike a few members of her crew, she knew damn well when something was too dangerous to take on.
The worst bit was, the minigun was utterly fucking wrecked. She knew enough to do basic maintenance on it, but all the barrels were bent, mainly from being crushed against her body when it started to squeeze her. It was then that she'd discovered the hard way that the snake was definitely stronger than her, by a long way; even her best efforts had done zip and zero to prevent it from constricting its coils, slowly and steadily.
It was clear to her that the current crew was a dead loss (and in Animos' case, she suspected that was not a figure of speech). With the snake assisting Mouse Protector, there was nothing she could do to chase the idiot hero away, and the Teeth had shown themselves entirely incapable of dealing with just Mouse Protector, much less her and the snake together.
Fortunately, she'd kept the van keys on her, and the vehicle itself wasn't all that far away. She didn't want to attract its attention with another teleport-burst, so she started walking in that direction, discarding some of her paraphernalia along the way. The skulls had been crushed and a lot of her spikes bent into uselessness, so she threw them away. All I have to do is get to the van and I'm out of here.
Predictably, as soon as some of the Butchers realised her plan, they started protesting.
Hey, where are you going? You've got a snake to kill!
Fuck that, she shot back. My best shot couldn't touch it.
You're just not trying hard enough, jeered Butcher V.
We're Butchers! another one yelled at her. We kill or we die! No middle ground!
Yeah, right. No Butcher had ever gone into a fight hoping or expecting to die, except maybe Butcher III, and he hadn't been in his right mind at the time. I don't do suicide missions.
You're making the Butcher name look bad!
I don't give a damn.
Go back there and kill it!
She gritted her teeth. As much as she hated to run away, she knew it was the smart thing to do. It ate Leviathan. Not just fought. Not just beat. Not just killed. Ate. And I'm pretty sure it did the same with Animos. I don't want to be next on the menu.
So what if you are? Butcher X didn't seem to give a damn. We'd be rockin' a sixty-foot snake after that. Nobody but nobody would mess with us.
Not. Gonna. Happen.
She was almost at the van by now, the keys already in her hand. Where the snake was, she wasn't certain, but so long as it wasn't in her face she was happy. Maybe it had gone back to help out Mouse Protector?
Whatever; she didn't care. She hustled toward the van, slid the key into the door, and unlocked it. The door hinges creaked as she opened it … and right about then, just as her danger sense flared, she felt the breath on the back of her neck.
"Hello, Butcher," the snake said, from right behind her. "It hass been fun chassing you."
Closing her eyes, she leaned against the side of the van. I guess you guys win after all. "You gonna eat me now?"
"Cat head boy ssayss not to kill Butcher, sso Ssnek will not. Ssnek will take to Masster insstead. Masster will fix. Masster iss very ssmart."
She was still fixating on the 'cat head boy' part of his reply, and hadn't even gotten around to processing the 'Masster will fix' bit, when he struck. He was so fast, she barely felt his jaws closing around her.
The Master's Apprentice
Riley leaned against a bench and watched the process with utter fascination. The Master of the Castle had allowed her to keep her powers, merely reversing the utter hatchet job Jack Slash had done to her psyche, but with Noelle and the others he'd gone deeper. However, even with Noelle it had been (as far as she could tell) not unlike extracting a particularly stubborn tumour. With Noelle's friends, removing their powers had been almost routine, with no complications.
There was a reason Jack Slash had never killed the Butcher, despite the Nine having virtually wiped out the Teeth once upon a time, back before she'd been kidnapped/recruited. It wasn't that he couldn't, but more that he knew the consequences of doing so. No cape with any kind of common sense wanted to have a dozen or more insanity-inducing voices hectoring them at every hour of night and day.
But now … the woman who was the current holder of the title lay back on the preparation table, unrestrained yet unable to move. Standing over her, the Master of the Castle held a pair of filigree tongs constructed of silver, the essence of midnight and the fleeting thoughts of a trapdoor spider.
Riley had seen what this world called a 'trapdoor spider', and decided she preferred Earth Bet's version; that type only bit people.
"The next jar, if you please, Riley."
"Coming right up, boss." Carefully, Riley picked up the heavy container—lead crystal wasn't light, especially enchanted lead crystal—and carried it over to where the Master stood. Placing it on the table at his elbow, she lifted the ensorcelled cover, remembering to first recite the phrase of unlocking in her head. Without that, it would have remained fixed in place as though welded to the jar.
"Thank you, Riley." The Master lifted the tongs, within which a thing of light and shade writhed and struggled uselessly. He deftly deposited it within the jar, and she replaced the lid just as quickly.
"No problem." Taking up the now-occupied jar, she carried it over to align it with its fellows; seven so far, and counting. Within each one, a webwork of colour shifted and changed; she got the impression of indignant protest. From what she understood, they'd been bad people before they became a part of Butcher, so it wasn't her problem what happened to them now. Except for the third one, but the Master would probably figure something out there too.
She took up her position beside the bench once more, watching as the Master used the tongs to probe the space around Butcher's head, winding in the threads of her power. He had remarked to her more than once that he enjoyed the puzzles that Snek brought to him from Earth Bet. They made life that little bit more interesting. As far as she was concerned, Butcher had been more like a terrifying menace than an intriguing puzzle to be solved, but that was just her point of view.
The Villain Formerly Known as Butcher
Opening her eyes with a gasp, she tried to sit up and look around. Nothing of the sort happened. Next, she tried to reach for her teleport power, but it wasn't there. None of them were there, even the ones she had as Quarrel.
Okay, so I didn't get eaten. Either that, or being part of the Butcher conglomerate is a lot different to what I expected.
Overhead, which was all she could see right now, was a high-raftered roof with a number of esoteric items dangling from the beams. The most prominent of these was a large winged lizard, maybe twenty feet long. It looked for all the world like someone had stuffed a dragon. But dragons weren't real. Were they?
"They most certainly are," a grey-bearded man observed, stepping up alongside whatever she was lying on. "But only here. Not where you come from, except under certain circumstances."
She blinked, that being about the only conscious action she could take right then. "Wh … where am I?" Oh, good. I can talk, too. "And what happened to my powers?"
He gave her a mildly disapproving frown. "You were misusing them to a frankly impressive degree, so I added them to my collection. As for you; you have two options. First, to be returned to Earth Bet, to be judged and incarcerated for your many crimes. Second, to remain here for the rest of your life and make your way as you will, unpowered and subject to the law of this land." Something about the tone of his voice suggested that the local law was a little more robust than what she'd been used to, back home.
Still, a fresh start was a fresh start. And it was better than being eaten alive by a giant snake. Or beaten to death in gen-pop by someone who'd lost a friend or relative to the Teeth at some time. "Yeah, I think I'll stay."
His smile was more austere than friendly. "As you wish."
Mouse Protector
The last PRT chopper was lifting off with the members of the Teeth that she had captured—Butcher's absence had made all the difference—when a portal opened and Snek slithered through. "Hello, Mouss," he said with his usual enthusiasm. "Bad men caught?"
"And bad women, too," she confirmed, and booped his snoot with her fist. "You got Butcher?"
He nodded, looking pleased. "Ssnek took Butcher to Masster. Masster fixed her, took out powerss and put them in jarss. Riley helped, and Ssnek watched. Butcher sstayed on Masster world, after."
With anyone else, Diane would've been calling bullshit. Nobody could just remove powers from someone and store them in jars like a bunch of fireflies or something. Except this was someone who had prepared magic armour in advance for her to fight Leviathan, and empowered Snek to the point that he'd nommed down on the aquatic menace like a Christmas turkey.
So instead, she nodded thoughtfully. "If it means we never have to worry about Butcher ever again, I'm down with that."
"Ssnek thinkss sso too." The gargantuan reptile rolled one gold-fringed eye up toward her. "Ssnek wass coming to assk Mouss if sshe would like to meet Ssnek's ssharp-tooth lizard friendss. Like to play chasse gamess." The hopeful tone was evident in his voice.
She sighed. For a multi-ton snake, he was altogether too good at doing puppy-dog eyes. "Sure, okay. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine." She held up one finger, causing him to pause before swooping his neck under her. "Just one condition."
"Ssnek iss lisstening."
"If your 'sharp-tooth lizard' friends decide to have a nibble of me, I will be smacking them on the nose. Just so we're clear on that."
He nodded earnestly. "Ssnek will make ssure they behave."
"Good. Then let's do this." What the hell, she decided. If she knew Snek, and she suspected she did, then in just a few moments she was going to be meeting a bunch of dinosaurs. And who'd turn down something like that?
End of Part Fourteen
Part Fourteen: Snek versus Butcher
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
Snek has been having fun.
Snek went to world with sharp-tooth lizards and played chase games with them. Big-tooth lizard tried to eat sharp-tooth lizard, so Snek ate big-tooth lizard. Sharp-tooth lizards very happy.
Now Snek thinks Mouse would like to meet sharp-tooth lizards, so he makes wriggle-hole to go to Mouse world. He knows Mouse is nearby, and starts to look for her. Mouse is always happy to see Snek. Snek is always happy to see Mouse, too. Mouse is Snek's friend.
As Snek is looking for Mouse, Master's spell tells him that she is in trouble. Mouse is smart and fast, but there are many bad men in this world that Snek has not yet eaten. He sniffs for Mouse and finds her scent, then smells others around her. Bad men are not allowed to hurt Mouse.
Snek is a good boy.
Snek will help Mouse.
<><>
A Small Town Near Brockton Bay
Mouse Protector
How do I keep getting in these situations?
Oh, wait. Because I go looking for them.
Diane slashed her sword across Reaver's calf muscle, then stabbed him in the arm just before he would've caught his weight on it, causing him to dramatically faceplant. A cloud of tiny sharp force fields closed in around her, threatening to slide in through the gaps in her armour, so she teleported to one of her marks. Scooping up the small rubber puck—she'd started using these after Leviathan—she renewed the mark, then tossed it up onto a nearby rooftop.
The teleport gave her a small breathing space, which was good. While she wasn't in nearly as fraught a position as she'd been in when Snek rescued her from the Slaughterhouse Nine, it was still a good idea not to take her eye off the ball. Reaver was out of the fight for the moment, but that still left the rest of Butcher's personal cadre of assholes to contend with.
It wasn't as though she'd picked this fight to begin with; she'd just been in the area when the police bands started screaming about the Teeth attacking people at random. As she'd always contended, it was up to people like her to protect the mice of the world, human and otherwise. So she'd armoured up and gone looking for them, hoping to be able to occupy their attention until any other heroes in the vicinity deigned to show up and help drive them off.
Well, nobody can deny that I got their attention. As for the other half of the plan, where she enlisted another hero's assistance to drive them off, she was still working on that bit. But if she could disable a few more of them, maybe they'd decide to retreat all on their own. It was a possibility, anyway.
With a boom and a blast of flame that sent Diane tumbling out of the way, Butcher pulled off her own personal brand of teleportation. Personally, Diane thought it was way too overwrought; teleportation was flashy enough as it was without having some attention-seeking glory hound adding to it by tacking on an explosive blast. In fact, Butcher couldn't get much more on the nose if she tried.
Not that Diane wanted to take her on, either at range or in hand to hand. Due to the lineup of capes who had gone through the Butcher name, the arrogant villain had access to all the good powers. Fighting her in melee was a losing proposition, due to her Brute-level durability and strength; those that could match her in those matters would find it impossible to pin her down, because of the teleport capability.
At range, it was worse, because not only did she possess a danger sense of sorts, but she had access to a bunch of ranged attack powers, up to and including the ability to sense the cardiovascular systems of her opponents and target them unerringly—even through walls—with the minigun she carried. Which Diane considered to be the highest form of cheating. (As someone who cheated in combat all the time, she figured she was an expert on the matter).
She couldn't help wondering, though, what moron considered it a good idea to sell ammunition to the Butcher. A belt of the gleaming cartridges led up and over Butcher's shoulder, disappearing into her bulky backpack, along with a black insulated cable. Diane guessed that the cable was for the gun's battery, while the rest of the pack had to be stuffed full of bullets. No mundane human would be able to heft that sheer mass, much less the multi-barrelled gun attached to it.
Still, all she had to do was—
Pain lanced through her body. Unable to concentrate on her plan of teleporting away, Diane went to one knee. The barrels began to spin, faster and faster, as the gun angled around toward her. Her armour would probably fend off the first burst, but if Butcher got the idea to literally rip her out of it, there wouldn't be much she could do about it. Unless, and she had to pin her hopes on this, Butcher let up on the pain infliction power first.
By the time she realised Animos was on site as well, it was too late. His scream washed over her, draining her powers away so she couldn't teleport even if Butcher did let up on the pain. Well, crap. I'm going to die here, to an ensemble supervillain and a wannabe werewolf.
"Bad sspike lady!" Snek's voice was the most welcome sound Diane had ever heard, and that was saying something. "No hurt Mouss!" Barrelling out of a portal, he went straight on the offensive and wrapped up Butcher (gun and all) in an implacable embrace. "Ssnek eatss bad men for that! Bad lady no different!"
The agony let up immediately, which Diane could understand. Being enfolded by that enormously strong body, immunity to pain notwithstanding, would be highly distracting and terrible for concentration. She was still powerless—Animos' scream had a reasonable duration on it—but at least Snek was here now.
There was a metallic crunching and then an explosive burst of flame; Butcher had (of course) teleported away, once she realised she couldn't get out of Snek's coils. Almost immediately, Animos unleashed his scream in Snek's direction. Snek looked around curiously at him. "Hello, sshouting doggy," he said happily. "Ssnek like doggy. Doggy makess good ssnack."
That was apparently when Animos realised his mistake, but by then it was far, far too late. Snek could move very quickly indeed when he wanted to. The wolf-like cape began to turn away, only to run head-first into … Snek.
As had happened to Butcher, the gigantic serpent wrapped his body around Animos and squeezed. There was time for a very brief scream, and the crackling of snapping bones. Diane knew the exact moment when Animos died, because her powers came back. She looked away as Snek began to ingest the dead Changer, because while Animos had been a bad person and all that, it was still creepy to watch someone being eaten.
"Iss Mouss alright?" asked Snek after a short interval. "Not hurt?"
"I'm good now, Snek." She smiled as she gave him a hug. "You're really good at that last-minute rescue thing. I should be taking notes."
"Ssnek iss happy to help Mouss. Will go find exssplodey sspike lady and otherss."
"I'll help." She felt it was important to make sure Snek knew what was going on. "Explodey spike lady is called Butcher. Her gang is called the Teeth. They're all very bad people." Though she was totally calling Butcher 'explodey spike lady' to her face if she got the chance. Snek's naming scheme was just adorable.
"Ssnek undersstandss," the enormous reptile replied seriously. "Sshould Ssnek put them in prisson ccell, or jusst eat them? Ssnek hass eaten big-tooth lizard and iss not feeling very hungry."
"Putting Butcher in a prison cell wouldn't really work," Diane mused. "She'd simply teleport straight out again. Though we don't want to just—"
She meant to say kill her, but she was rudely interrupted by a huge arrow, at least four feet in length, that came up over a nearby building. It should have gone far over their heads, but as Diane watched, its path curved dramatically, aiming it straight toward the two of them. Crossing the distance in an instant, it hit her armour right over her heart … and shattered.
Welp, it looks like the Master's protection against sucker punches still works just fine. Not that Diane was the least bit surprised. Snek's boss gave the distinct impression that anything he enchanted stayed enchanted.
"Butcher sshoot twang-arrow?" asked Snek, looking in that direction.
Diane nodded. "I'm pretty sure you broke her gun when you gave her your patented snuggly-hug, so yeah, that would be her practicing archery on us."
As if to confirm her words, another arrow came arcing up over the building. This was followed by another one; as soon as the second one came into view, both corrected their courses. Diane could tell that both were aiming directly at Snek this time. She'd just opened her mouth to shout a warning when Snek's head blurred to the left and right, faster than her eyes could follow, accompanied by a snapsnap. Snek turned toward her, smiling his Snekky smile, with the fletchings of the arrows protruding from each side of his mouth.
"Butcher iss bad persson," he said as his tongue conveyed the arrows to the back of his mouth. Diane had an idea that he had some way of keeping things safe back there (as he had with Bonesaw) but she didn't quite feel confident about asking for details. "Ssnek will go catch her." Opening a portal in front of him, he slithered into it with his usual fluid rapidity.
"Yeah," Diane murmured as she pulled out another puck and marked it, then tossed it into a shadowed niche. "You go do that, Snek."
Her plan for another hero had come through in spades after all, though she hadn't expected her knight in Snekky armour to show up quite as dramatically as he had. With Butcher's attention entirely taken up with avoiding Snek (not that she could do that for long) Diane now had free rein to go after the remainder of this contingent of the Teeth. That much, she figured, she could handle.
Humming a tune which may or may not have featured on The Mouse Protector Show, she strode off in search of miscreants to beat up in her own inimitable style.
<><>
Butcher
What the hell is that thing?
Well, clearly it's the snake.
I know it's the snake, dumbass. How is it doing what it's doing?
I don't know. Maybe snakes react differently?
The cape who had once been known as Quarrel did her best to ignore the infighting going on in the back of her mind. Butchers I and IV were particularly aggrieved, as their signature attacks—pain and festering wounds, respectively—came to nothing on the gigantic snake. She herself was more than a little peeved that she'd shot an arrow at Mouse Protector and gotten no effect, even though it should've gone through anything short of an inch-thick steel plate. But even that was nothing beside the fact that the snake had caught the next two arrows in its mouth, and apparently eaten them.
Not being affected at all is not the same as 'reacting differently'!
Well, we've got other powers! Find one that will affect it!
Her danger sense flaring, she dived aside from a gaping-mouthed lunge. Arrows scattered from her quiver as she performed an unplanned shoulder-roll. Large and no doubt very sharp teeth clashed together just short of her heels; she scrambled to her feet and bolted. Rage did not seem to be the best idea to inflict it with, given that it was already trying to kill her.
Why couldn't you have come to the party with the ability to reduce someone's anger? she mentally yelled at Butcher IX's shade. That might've been useful!
We're the fucking Butcher! he bellowed back. We don't do de-escalation!
Well, maybe we should've taken the time to fucking learn! She dived aside from another strike by the snake, then teleported as far away as she could. That she was abandoning the rest of the team was clear to her, but she consoled herself with the knowledge that they'd do exactly the same to her if the situation was reversed. Serves them right. They shouldn't have talked me into this.
She paused, looking around, waiting for the snake to emerge from one of those damned portals. How did a giant snake get to learn how to teleport, anyway?
Probably the same place it learned how to talk, snarked Butcher III.
Shut the fuck up.
In the distance, she heard a scream as Spree (she guessed) got taken down by that damned joke hero. Fighting Mouse Protector would've been more satisfying if she took the hero-villain thing more seriously. As it was, no villain wanted to go near her, because all she did was throw cheesy puns while beating the crap out of them.
The snake still hadn't popped its head out of a portal yet, but she wasn't fooled. The instant she targeted Mouse Protector again, it would return. And unlike a few members of her crew, she knew damn well when something was too dangerous to take on.
The worst bit was, the minigun was utterly fucking wrecked. She knew enough to do basic maintenance on it, but all the barrels were bent, mainly from being crushed against her body when it started to squeeze her. It was then that she'd discovered the hard way that the snake was definitely stronger than her, by a long way; even her best efforts had done zip and zero to prevent it from constricting its coils, slowly and steadily.
It was clear to her that the current crew was a dead loss (and in Animos' case, she suspected that was not a figure of speech). With the snake assisting Mouse Protector, there was nothing she could do to chase the idiot hero away, and the Teeth had shown themselves entirely incapable of dealing with just Mouse Protector, much less her and the snake together.
Fortunately, she'd kept the van keys on her, and the vehicle itself wasn't all that far away. She didn't want to attract its attention with another teleport-burst, so she started walking in that direction, discarding some of her paraphernalia along the way. The skulls had been crushed and a lot of her spikes bent into uselessness, so she threw them away. All I have to do is get to the van and I'm out of here.
Predictably, as soon as some of the Butchers realised her plan, they started protesting.
Hey, where are you going? You've got a snake to kill!
Fuck that, she shot back. My best shot couldn't touch it.
You're just not trying hard enough, jeered Butcher V.
We're Butchers! another one yelled at her. We kill or we die! No middle ground!
Yeah, right. No Butcher had ever gone into a fight hoping or expecting to die, except maybe Butcher III, and he hadn't been in his right mind at the time. I don't do suicide missions.
You're making the Butcher name look bad!
I don't give a damn.
Go back there and kill it!
She gritted her teeth. As much as she hated to run away, she knew it was the smart thing to do. It ate Leviathan. Not just fought. Not just beat. Not just killed. Ate. And I'm pretty sure it did the same with Animos. I don't want to be next on the menu.
So what if you are? Butcher X didn't seem to give a damn. We'd be rockin' a sixty-foot snake after that. Nobody but nobody would mess with us.
Not. Gonna. Happen.
She was almost at the van by now, the keys already in her hand. Where the snake was, she wasn't certain, but so long as it wasn't in her face she was happy. Maybe it had gone back to help out Mouse Protector?
Whatever; she didn't care. She hustled toward the van, slid the key into the door, and unlocked it. The door hinges creaked as she opened it … and right about then, just as her danger sense flared, she felt the breath on the back of her neck.
"Hello, Butcher," the snake said, from right behind her. "It hass been fun chassing you."
Closing her eyes, she leaned against the side of the van. I guess you guys win after all. "You gonna eat me now?"
"Cat head boy ssayss not to kill Butcher, sso Ssnek will not. Ssnek will take to Masster insstead. Masster will fix. Masster iss very ssmart."
She was still fixating on the 'cat head boy' part of his reply, and hadn't even gotten around to processing the 'Masster will fix' bit, when he struck. He was so fast, she barely felt his jaws closing around her.
<><>
The Master's Apprentice
Riley leaned against a bench and watched the process with utter fascination. The Master of the Castle had allowed her to keep her powers, merely reversing the utter hatchet job Jack Slash had done to her psyche, but with Noelle and the others he'd gone deeper. However, even with Noelle it had been (as far as she could tell) not unlike extracting a particularly stubborn tumour. With Noelle's friends, removing their powers had been almost routine, with no complications.
There was a reason Jack Slash had never killed the Butcher, despite the Nine having virtually wiped out the Teeth once upon a time, back before she'd been kidnapped/recruited. It wasn't that he couldn't, but more that he knew the consequences of doing so. No cape with any kind of common sense wanted to have a dozen or more insanity-inducing voices hectoring them at every hour of night and day.
But now … the woman who was the current holder of the title lay back on the preparation table, unrestrained yet unable to move. Standing over her, the Master of the Castle held a pair of filigree tongs constructed of silver, the essence of midnight and the fleeting thoughts of a trapdoor spider.
Riley had seen what this world called a 'trapdoor spider', and decided she preferred Earth Bet's version; that type only bit people.
"The next jar, if you please, Riley."
"Coming right up, boss." Carefully, Riley picked up the heavy container—lead crystal wasn't light, especially enchanted lead crystal—and carried it over to where the Master stood. Placing it on the table at his elbow, she lifted the ensorcelled cover, remembering to first recite the phrase of unlocking in her head. Without that, it would have remained fixed in place as though welded to the jar.
"Thank you, Riley." The Master lifted the tongs, within which a thing of light and shade writhed and struggled uselessly. He deftly deposited it within the jar, and she replaced the lid just as quickly.
"No problem." Taking up the now-occupied jar, she carried it over to align it with its fellows; seven so far, and counting. Within each one, a webwork of colour shifted and changed; she got the impression of indignant protest. From what she understood, they'd been bad people before they became a part of Butcher, so it wasn't her problem what happened to them now. Except for the third one, but the Master would probably figure something out there too.
She took up her position beside the bench once more, watching as the Master used the tongs to probe the space around Butcher's head, winding in the threads of her power. He had remarked to her more than once that he enjoyed the puzzles that Snek brought to him from Earth Bet. They made life that little bit more interesting. As far as she was concerned, Butcher had been more like a terrifying menace than an intriguing puzzle to be solved, but that was just her point of view.
<><>
The Villain Formerly Known as Butcher
Opening her eyes with a gasp, she tried to sit up and look around. Nothing of the sort happened. Next, she tried to reach for her teleport power, but it wasn't there. None of them were there, even the ones she had as Quarrel.
Okay, so I didn't get eaten. Either that, or being part of the Butcher conglomerate is a lot different to what I expected.
Overhead, which was all she could see right now, was a high-raftered roof with a number of esoteric items dangling from the beams. The most prominent of these was a large winged lizard, maybe twenty feet long. It looked for all the world like someone had stuffed a dragon. But dragons weren't real. Were they?
"They most certainly are," a grey-bearded man observed, stepping up alongside whatever she was lying on. "But only here. Not where you come from, except under certain circumstances."
She blinked, that being about the only conscious action she could take right then. "Wh … where am I?" Oh, good. I can talk, too. "And what happened to my powers?"
He gave her a mildly disapproving frown. "You were misusing them to a frankly impressive degree, so I added them to my collection. As for you; you have two options. First, to be returned to Earth Bet, to be judged and incarcerated for your many crimes. Second, to remain here for the rest of your life and make your way as you will, unpowered and subject to the law of this land." Something about the tone of his voice suggested that the local law was a little more robust than what she'd been used to, back home.
Still, a fresh start was a fresh start. And it was better than being eaten alive by a giant snake. Or beaten to death in gen-pop by someone who'd lost a friend or relative to the Teeth at some time. "Yeah, I think I'll stay."
His smile was more austere than friendly. "As you wish."
<><>
Mouse Protector
The last PRT chopper was lifting off with the members of the Teeth that she had captured—Butcher's absence had made all the difference—when a portal opened and Snek slithered through. "Hello, Mouss," he said with his usual enthusiasm. "Bad men caught?"
"And bad women, too," she confirmed, and booped his snoot with her fist. "You got Butcher?"
He nodded, looking pleased. "Ssnek took Butcher to Masster. Masster fixed her, took out powerss and put them in jarss. Riley helped, and Ssnek watched. Butcher sstayed on Masster world, after."
With anyone else, Diane would've been calling bullshit. Nobody could just remove powers from someone and store them in jars like a bunch of fireflies or something. Except this was someone who had prepared magic armour in advance for her to fight Leviathan, and empowered Snek to the point that he'd nommed down on the aquatic menace like a Christmas turkey.
So instead, she nodded thoughtfully. "If it means we never have to worry about Butcher ever again, I'm down with that."
"Ssnek thinkss sso too." The gargantuan reptile rolled one gold-fringed eye up toward her. "Ssnek wass coming to assk Mouss if sshe would like to meet Ssnek's ssharp-tooth lizard friendss. Like to play chasse gamess." The hopeful tone was evident in his voice.
She sighed. For a multi-ton snake, he was altogether too good at doing puppy-dog eyes. "Sure, okay. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine." She held up one finger, causing him to pause before swooping his neck under her. "Just one condition."
"Ssnek iss lisstening."
"If your 'sharp-tooth lizard' friends decide to have a nibble of me, I will be smacking them on the nose. Just so we're clear on that."
He nodded earnestly. "Ssnek will make ssure they behave."
"Good. Then let's do this." What the hell, she decided. If she knew Snek, and she suspected she did, then in just a few moments she was going to be meeting a bunch of dinosaurs. And who'd turn down something like that?
End of Part Fourteen
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ThatOtherSatori
Lover of Spicy Food
- Location
- Indiana, USA
Somehow, I get the feeling that Mouse is gonna be bringing home a dino-friend. because what better partner for a hammy knight than a raptor of some sort eh?
Draxsis
SANLOST
- Location
- United states
You know… it amazes me how many people think joining a midevil or similar era type fantasy society is a good idea. Especially when the person in question is a woman. While I admit that there may be more gender equality in a fantasy world than a non-fantasy type I'm willing to bet most of that equality is only for women who actually have some form of power or a powerful backer. Like Riley having both in her Parahuman abilities making her an exceptionally talented healer and being a student to The Master.
Quarrel has neither her old powers or the backing of The Master. He might give her a starting helping hand because the man doesn't strike me as being cruel but that help may only extend to getting Quarrel a job as a serving maid at a bar or tavern since she wouldn't know the first thing about any other jobs of that era.
I believe there is a very high chance that Quarrel is going to wish she had ended up in a nice secure prison cell where she knew where her next meal was coming from and all she had to worry about was being killed by revenge and status seekers. There are fates far worse than death after all and fantasy worlds tend to have a a lot more of those than most others.
Quarrel has neither her old powers or the backing of The Master. He might give her a starting helping hand because the man doesn't strike me as being cruel but that help may only extend to getting Quarrel a job as a serving maid at a bar or tavern since she wouldn't know the first thing about any other jobs of that era.
I believe there is a very high chance that Quarrel is going to wish she had ended up in a nice secure prison cell where she knew where her next meal was coming from and all she had to worry about was being killed by revenge and status seekers. There are fates far worse than death after all and fantasy worlds tend to have a a lot more of those than most others.
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- Location
- Australia
This is not a medieval world, though.
It's a fantasy world, based on the medieval tech level.
Two utterly different things.
For just one point, getting justice for crimes against a non-noble was almost impossible in medieval societies. This is not the case, here.
And yes, equality is definitely more of a thing here, and not just for women with power. Because women with power will make damn sure that women without power still get equity.
She will definitely be starting at the bottom, but she will have the opportunity to better herself both financially and personally. It won't be easy and it won't be quick, but it's possible.
- Location
- USA
You know, that would be kinda cool. I wonder what the raptor's name would be? Let's see... her full Hero name is Mouse Protector. so maybe Mighty Mouse?
It's conversations like these that remind me that only us White Men actually look forward to and will get to actually enjoy Time Machines.
Anyone else would be severely limited on where and when they could travel in a time machine.
But White Guys?
Damn near everywhere and everywhen.
Our only limitations are what language we speak.
Has there ever been a movie or book about time machines that didn't have a white male protagonist?
I can't think of any.
Well, other than that movie with Denzel Washington, but he only went back in time like a year or so, so it doesn't count.
Really wondering if there will be a Black Dr. Who.
Doubt it, cause that would be a very depressing season.
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Men in Black 3
I remember that the character travelled into the past there.
And was discriminated against for being black.
Like stopped by cops because a black person couldn't possibly own a car like that and it had to be stolen (it was).
But that is the only story of this kind I can remember. And I think there was very little discrimination happening in even this movie. I can only remember this scene as being an obvious one...
Ah well. Humanity and especially civilization are only a blip in the timescale of actual history. There is still lots of things to explore without having to worry about discrimination. Hungry "reptiles" might be a problem tho...
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No? The dominance of "white men" - and for that matter the concept as we know it today - is only a small part of history, not some universal thing. In Rome for example, they'd be just another "barbarian" like other Europeans. In China for most of its history they'd be a weird looking barbarian. And so on.
I forgot about that movie.
Should I really have to specify it by saying Recorded History?
Who the hell would want to go back farther than the earliest Civilizations around 5k years ago?
Too many giant super predators to hangout longer than it takes to get photos.
Plus, Super Giant Mosquitos. Nuff said.
Human history is long enough to explore that you could time travel for the rest of your life and not get bored. Provided you are a White Guy. And you avoid bandits.
Uuh... No?
As long as you bring some things like salt, Suger, a loaded spice rack, pretty much drop 100 bucks at any grocery store, ANY durable modern clothing, ANY nondurable modern clothing, Silk Anything, bathroom products like soap and shampoo and perfume.
Point is, just bring some things that are cheap and plentiful nowadays, but in small quantities would make you as rich as God at anytime pre 1800.
Rome, China, Pre-closed borders Japan, ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD would welcome a White Guy™ with that stuff.
Provided of course they don't kill you and take your stuff, but that's why you hire guards to guard you and your riches.
Also, being Roman wasn't about what race you were. It was about WHAT your father accomplished. And how much money he made. And whether YOU had enough money to wage war. And Whether You could win said wars. THAT is what being a Roman was.
Anyone was allowed to become a Roman, as long as they could pay. If not, then you could join the Legion and your children would become full Roman.
Also, only rich people enjoyed being Roman. Everyone else was a slave. But you could buy your way out of slavery, if you were smart enough. Not many did though, cause slavery had job security and stuff.
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LoL.
How many deaths is The Doctor at so far? Pretty sure he should almost be out of lives soon.
I hope being a Black Time Lord isn't his last life.
Black people have historically not had a good time.
Being Arabic would be better for a time traveler if you can't be White.
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Lots of people would like to go into the distant past to see/study/hunt all the long-extinct life back then. There's a reason there's so many "time travel to the age of the dinosaurs" stories.
And even to the extent that there'd even be a market for a tiny amount of modern conveniences, that has exactly nothing to do with being a "white guy".
Dude, nearly everything I listed?
Those existed throughout history.
They were BEYOND expensive though.
Like Gifts to the King expensive.
Meaning massively valuable Trade Goods.
Nothing I listed besides the Grocery Store is a Modern Convenience.
They all existed as Artisanal Items and Trade Goods, but the sheer Quality of those items nowadays is massively higher in nearly all cases.
I only brought those up cause of the Rome and China remark. How being a White Guy, I'd just be treated like a barbarian there?
I was making a point, that I wouldn't, provided I visited Walmart before I went.
For Time Travel, Walmart would open a lot of doors for every race visiting throughout history.
But not all doors, unless you're white.
But if we are talking Fantasy History, that's a toss up on if it's a Western Fantasy or Anime Fantasy.
One is a maybe, the other is Oh God, Slavery and Racism and Katanas Everywhere!!!
Anyway, this was an amusing tangent, but we should get back on topic before someone complains about going off topic.
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Draxsis
SANLOST
- Location
- United states
I'm sorry @Ack. I was really more trying to point out that Quarrel really didn't think her decision through or even ask any of a number of questions that I would ask. Mostly ones about the average quality of life on this new world that I would have absolutely no knowledge of and what information in general I would need to know that is just common knowledge for the people who already live on this world I'm considering joining.
Though admittedly I used it as my main point. I was using Quarrel being a woman and the fact that it's fantasy setting in a midevil tech level world -with the emphasis on the midevil era that tech level implies and how women were treated in those times- to emphasize my point that she could be making a monumental mistake. Not that the world The Master is on in particular is like that, only that it could be and she basically made a significant life altering decision on little to no information about one of her choices. (At least on Bet she knows pretty much exactly what she would be in for) Which has become a trend in a number of good stories that has become a bit of a pet peeve of mine because it just strikes me as being such a stupid thing to do. It's also kinda sad because people do make decisions like that all the time and have them come round to bite them because they didn't ask any questions. (Something I can admit I'm just as guilty of doing as any other person)
Though admittedly I used it as my main point. I was using Quarrel being a woman and the fact that it's fantasy setting in a midevil tech level world -with the emphasis on the midevil era that tech level implies and how women were treated in those times- to emphasize my point that she could be making a monumental mistake. Not that the world The Master is on in particular is like that, only that it could be and she basically made a significant life altering decision on little to no information about one of her choices. (At least on Bet she knows pretty much exactly what she would be in for) Which has become a trend in a number of good stories that has become a bit of a pet peeve of mine because it just strikes me as being such a stupid thing to do. It's also kinda sad because people do make decisions like that all the time and have them come round to bite them because they didn't ask any questions. (Something I can admit I'm just as guilty of doing as any other person)
JadeKaiser
Uninspired Custom Title
- Location
- Under Your Bed
Only in Europe and (after a certain point) Europe-controlled places, and only in certain parts during certain periods. Racism is not, and never has been unique to white people. Nor have white people ever been consistently racist everywhere. Nor, for that matter, has racism even been the major factor in at least half the cases, rather than nationalism or general distrust, with race only being an easily noticeable indicator that someone is foreign.
Hell, for much of history the reaction to someone of a non-local race could swing either way, dependent entirely on whether the person was seen as "aberrant" or "exotic." With no real way of predicting which one people would latch on to first, besides the question of "is the strange person hot?"
I don't know where you got this idea from, but it's weirdly both arrogant about being white and deprecating towards white people, with no basis for either. Like... what, do you think that white people have always controlled the entire world? Heck, white people don't even control the whole world right now. And do you think that white people are some kind of special evil people who always favor their 'own kind' inherently unless taught otherwise, while everybody else is incapable of such things by default? Get real. Or do you just think that only European history exists or is relevant? As if.
Come off it. I don't know where you got this idea from, if someone taught it to you or if you came up with it all your own, but it's dumb. And weirdly racist against literally everybody in one way or the other, yourself included.
Dude, topic is dropped.
Move on.
My posts we're a fucking joke dude.
Was supposed to be one of those comments that sounds correct until you think about it for about five seconds then you say '...wait a minute'.
Honestly I wouldn't have replied to that earlier comment until they mentioned Modern Conveniences.
I saw that and felt compelled to correct it because Someone Was Wrong On The Internet.
...I think he did what I was trying to do.
Damnit.
- Location
- Australia
Oh, she absolutely made the decision without doing her due diligence. But she won't be as bad off as if she'd been dropped (say) into England of 1150. She can speak the language (the Master made sure of that), she'll have a little spending money, and she won't be treated as a chattel or a second class citizen.
And yes, there's magic to make basic life a little easier. (Basic hygiene is definitely a thing, here.)
Pretty sure it was reset at some point.
The Doctor has as many lives as the show wants him/her to have.
M. H. Fuzzball
Aperture Science-certified Horrible Person
- Location
- Sector 2814
Yes. He got at least a new regeneration cycle at the end of Matt Smith's run. While being counted as the eleventh Doctor, he was technically the Doctor's twelfth and supposedly final regeneration, until the Time Lords intervened.