Beware uncharted lands, for there be spoilers afoot!
This may seem like it's overdue, but based on a comment I recently received elsewhere, apparently the fact that there will be spoilers to both the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime and the events of various games in the Persona Series (including but not limited to Persona 3, Persona 3 Portable, Persona 4, and Persona 5) wasn't made clear just by how the plot has unveiled.

So I'm placing a sticky post for this message: if you have not watched the original Evangelion anime, or if you have not played the Persona games — especially P3, P4, P5, and their updated re-releases — then take note that this story contains spoilers to all of them. Read at your own risk.

/that should do it
//right?
///right??
 
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7/1 - Evening: NERV
Ever since he had been subdued by Misato-san in the Metaverse, Shinji Ikari had felt...out of sorts.



Dis com bob u la ted.

D e t a c h e d.

He experienced everything as one stumbling through fog, barely capable of consciously completing sentences. If he replied to anyone, he couldn't remember what he had said.

There was a vague awareness of events; after Misato had announced the arrest of Shiro Tokita and his subordinates, activity at that particular point in the Metaverse grew into a frenzy, as more A.T. Agents arrived, accompanying legal representatives in suits. Discussions of jurisdiction were rampant, and Misato had spent quite a while yelling at people. In the meantime, because of the nature of what they had gone through, both he and Mana Kirishima returned to the real world and were escorted straight to NERV.

She looked just as lost as he when Dr. Akagi whisked her away. Rei Ayanami, having returned from a mission, accompanied them - for security? - yet her gaze was heavy with some unidentifiable emotion as they departed.

Scattered words barely registered in his mind. There was talk of debriefing, of corroborating reports, of providing testimony, of conducting an examination of his spirit in light of his battle that day; all of it was white noise.

All he knew was that he found himself in a familiar room within NERV's barracks, having been ordered to recuperate in preparation for the next day. It had been over two weeks since he had last resided within one of these rooms. (That the last time had been the night before his battle with an Angel had risen its vicious head in one corner of his mind.)

He didn't know whether the isolation was on purpose, or if it was simply an oversight. Part of him despised that, while part of him welcomed it.

Part of him would have accepted talking with Misato-san, or Dr. Akagi, or Ayanami-san...or even Kirishima. (He wasn't quite desperate enough to stomach talking with his father for the sake of breaking the silence.)

The other part wanted to remain alone, to stay away from everyone, so at least they wouldn't get hurt. So they wouldn't be harmed by whatever it was he possessed.

Evangelion...why did he have it?

Why?

Knock-knock.

He didn't answer.

The head of Kensuke Aida poked in. "Oh. Hey, Ikari. Heard you were back. After being gone since, you know, Monday. Um...you okay?"

"...I don't know," he honestly answered.

"...well, I don't have long. Once I got some details from Dr. Akagi, I made sure to bring some stuff from the Academy." The relatively taciturn Kensuke quickly shuffled in, placing a few books and a notepad onto the sole coffee table, along with Shinji's SDAT player. "Class Rep took some notes. I did too. And Toji, kinda. Don't want you to fall behind, you know? And...I notice that you like listening to this thing - don't know why you haven't upgraded to an MP3 player, personally - so I brought it too." He then reached into his pocket, pulling out a fresh packet of trail mix. "And snacks! Didn't know if you'd eaten yet."

Silence.

"...I don't know what you went through in the Metaverse, but get well, okay?"

Silence.

"...so, I have to get back to work. Interning. You know what I mean." With those words, Kensuke quickly withdrew, looking back at him one more time before leaving.

Shinji should have responded. Should have reciprocated. The fact that Kensuke Aida apparently cared should have been noteworthy. Yet, the fugue plaguing him refused to leave, refused to let him fully inhabit himself again, and engage with the world around him to his utmost.

Why should he, when he could so easily break things?

...I...I wonder...

There was little to be done. Little that he could do. And yet, there was something - a place - that he could turn to for comfort, if nothing else.

Moving his limbs with agonizing slowness, Shinji Ikari slowly slipped the earbuds in and pressed 'play', watching with quiet indifference as the blue tape began to whirr...

xxxx

...and before he knew it, he was sitting in a familiar folding chair.

Yet, he couldn't see the auditorium he was accustomed to. Save for a spotlight that illuminated the floor - cold, gray,
unpleasant - around him, everything was shrouded in darkness...and...



...a different song was playing. A slow, somber rendition on piano of...a piece by Bach. 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring', if he recalled correctly...?

What was going on?
 
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Dis com bob u la ted.

D e t a c h e d.
It's PTSD isn't it?

And unfortunely it won't be the last for Shinji.

The other part wanted to remain alone, to stay away from everyone, so at least they wouldn't get hurt. So they wouldn't be harmed by whatever it was he possessed.
Are we sure that he isn't lying to himself?

Though if he isn't then that's rough.

"...well, I don't have long. Once I got some details from Dr. Akagi, I made sure to bring some stuff from the Academy." The relatively taciturn Kensuke quickly shuffled in, placing a few books and a notepad onto the sole coffee table, along with Shinji's SDAT player. "Class Rep took some notes. I did too. And Toji, kinda. Don't want you to fall behind, you know? And...I notice that you like listening to this thing - don't know why you haven't upgraded to an MP3 player, personally - so I brought it too." He then reached into his pocket, pulling out a fresh packet of trail mix. "And snacks! Didn't know if you'd eaten yet."
Lucky that he has Kensuke to cover his back, and it's even nice of him.

Really liked, this chapter nice way to end an arc.
 
7/1 - Evening: The Velvet Room
Really liked, this chapter nice way to end an arc.

Oh, we're not done yet!

xxxx



There was the ringing of a phone.

Shinji blinked, looking to his right; somehow, a tiny bar table had manifested beside his chair. Upon it sat an old-fashioned rotary phone, colored a glossy black. He quietly grabbed it, bringing the receiver to his ear. "...hello?"

"Welcome to the Velvet Room!" came the voice of Igor, sounding tinny through the phone. With each syllable spoken, there was a flicker of light in the darkness ahead of him; he could barely make out the long-nosed man, sitting at his familiar desk on the stage, speaking through a similar phone. "Fear not; you are merely in a dream."

"...what...what happened...?"

"Do you not recall? As a guest, the Velvet Room reflects the state of your heart; but this change is
quite extreme! You have been truly surprising."

"...is...is that a good thing?"

"Tell me: why do you think the music has changed?"

"...I...I don't know."

"The song has been a constant, sung to soothe the heart of visitors. To be constant, the sounds of the world must be blocked, so that the words of the heart may emerge without blemish. But if it has changed, there must be something of great significance pressing upon us."

"Like...what?"

"Look behind you."

Shinji slowly turned around, looking over his shoulder; looking impossibly bright in the darkness, his Evangelion sat in the balcony seats, looming impossibly large. The beast was immense, with teeth simultaneously human and inhuman; staring with blank eyes, it looked like a nightmare personified. Yet he felt...calm. "...why...why is it here?"

"It is a manifestation of a part of yourself, a part which you cannot deny," answered Igor. "Even if its origin is still a mystery, its presence cannot be discounted. Does it frighten you, to realize just how troubled your heart is?"

"...I..." How could he respond to that? "I don't know what to think...the Persona is part of my mind...yet the Evangelion is also part of my soul, and it was in the Metaverse, and that wasn't supposed to happen, but I was...I was so
angry..."

"Some would desire to cleanly divide the parts of man. But does a man actually remain, if such essentials are denied? Mind, body, soul...each one is touched by the heart, to some degree. As such, one can affect the other; you are merely in a position to recognize this fact more viscerally than most."

"...I...I don't know why I was like that." He didn't want to believe that something so monstrous was a part of him. Yet...he had nearly killed Kirishima, hadn't he? He had
wanted to. "...how...how do I get rid of it?"

"You ask something which is impossible; humans grow, and change. Yet the things which are fundamental to them...to get rid of it would be akin to killing 'Shinji Ikari', for you would no longer be yourself. Rather, you should wonder how you can accept it, to become better, to become whole."

"Why...why would I accept something so..." Monstrous? Vicious? HATEFUL?

"To accept the unpleasant parts of yourself is to acknowledge that they exist. If you dislike them, that never stops you from growing beyond them. Yet, if you were to simply cut them off, you would lose all cognizance of why you disliked them to begin with, for they would no longer be."

"...it sounds so hard..."

"Indeed; for some, it seems an insurmountable task. Yet you have realized a fundamental truth about man: the power of bonds can make any obstacle as light as a feather! After all, even in this place...you are not alone."

Another spotlight flashed brightly, illuminating a corner of the auditorium. "Eep!" squeaked Sokila, hiding her face behind her billowy sleeves at suddenly being found.

"...Sokila-chan..." he muttered.

There was a brief 'click', as Igor hung up.

She looked up, yellow eyes wide with fright in the presence of Shogoki's monstrous visage. "Um..." She gulped, staring up at it. "...uh..."

Her fear was palpable. He couldn't blame her. If this was truly a part of him, he wouldn't want to get near either; he quietly buried his head in his hands, gritting his teeth from the sudden agony roaring through him. The somber, almost morose piano was simultaneously fitting and mocking.

So consumed was he that he didn't notice Sokila inch her way towards him, by fits and starts. The silver-haired child didn't say a word, either because she had none to say, or because she had too many. Even so, after a seeming eternity, she stood in front of him. Glimpsing her bare feet poking out from the frayed edges of her gray pants, Shinji wondered if she had any shoes. Then he discarded that thought, thinking it too odd to consider. Those trivial thoughts were simple enough that he could stomach looking up at her face.

Sokila grimaced, looking up one more time at Unit-01. He wondered what she truly thought. "...uh..." She gulped once more, visibly trying to steel herself. "I...um...whenever...when I feel sad...I...I always like getting a hug...so..." Her toes fiddled with each other. "...can I...can I give you one?"

"...why?"

"Cause...cause you're sad...and...cause I'm your 'Tendant! And, uh, cause I'm your Confident." A pause. "Confidant!" She nodded to herself. "And...I..." She wanted to say something more. So much more, judging by the look on her face. Yet she stopped herself. "...so...is it okay if I hug you?"

Shinji didn't answer with words. He simply sat back up, letting his arms fall to his side.

It was a sufficiently open invitation for the young girl, who quickly clambered into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

...there was something missing.

Slowly, Shinji wrapped his arms around Sokila's form, resting one hand on the back of her head, with the other resting on her torso to brace her. So careful was he, afraid that he would break her, afraid that his hatred and wrath and anger would frighten her, poison her-!

"It's...it's okay...I'm..." She inhaled and exhaled with purpose. "...I'm a big girl. I'm...not afraid. Not of you...never..."

Those words were permission enough for Shinji to fully embrace her, grabbing onto the tiny girl as a lifeline. Like the flipping of a switch, he felt a sense of undeniable
CONTENTMENT and JOY and PEACE that it caused him to burst into spontaneous tears. So raw, so vulnerable, so REAL, that it elicited quiet tears from the girl as well.

"...I'm crying...even though I'm not sad..." She sounded vaguely confused, as though this were a violation of the natural order. Yet she did not relinquish her hold, and for that Shinji was glad.

Slowly, the presence of Unit-01 faded. The darkness lifted from the auditorium, returning to its usual dimness; Igor sat upon the stage amidst the velvet curtains, distinctive grin affixed to his face. Even so, he remained silent.

Finally, the sounds of Bach faded...




...and the wailing woman returned.

Shinji and Sokila remained like that for the rest of the night, saying not another word.

For a brief moment, it felt like all was right with the world.


xxxx

END OF 7/1/2015

xxxx

/aaaaagh
//Sokila
///WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO FANTASTIC TO WRITE FOR
////STOP TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THE CUTE
 
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7/2 - Early Morning: NERV
Sokila quietly stirred.

"...do you have to go...?"

She tightened her hold around his neck.

"...I don't want you to go..."

Her yellow eyes quivered with a child's anguish.

"...what if that monster comes back...?"

The faint haze of blue began to brighten-

xxxx

/Thursday: July 2, 2015/

/Barracks, NERV/



Shinji Ikari quietly stirred, feeling...not quite tired, not quite exhausted...but maybe looking more haggard than he actually was. There was a sense of resolution.

Then his phone buzzed.

PILATE: IT'S BEEN A WEEK
PILATE: HAVE YOU DETERMINED AN ANSWER TO OUR SCENARIO?


Grimacing, Shinji briefly scrolled back up to the relevant texts from June the 25th:

PILATE: SUPPOSE, AFTER A LONG PERIOD OF SEPARATION FROM SOMEONE WHO WE'LL LABEL 'X', THAT THEY DEMAND YOUR PRESENCE.
PILATE: YOUR DESIRE FOR X'S LOVE IS OUTPACED ONLY BY YOUR DISDAIN AND FRUSTRATION WITH THEM.
PILATE: BUT WHEN YOU ARRIVE, X COMMANDS YOU TO PERFORM A TASK THAT MAY RESULT IN YOUR DEATH. IT WILL CERTAINLY RESULT IN GREAT HARM BOTH BODILY AND MENTALLY.
PILATE: IN ORDER TO OBTAIN YOUR COMPLIANCE, X THREATENS TO USE SOMEONE ELSE - WE'LL LABEL THEM 'Y' - IN YOUR STEAD. Y IS SUFFERING FROM A PRIOR INJURY, AND SO THEIR DEATH IS GUARANTEED IF THEY TRY TO PERFORM THE TASK.
...
PILATE: BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO ASK ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD DO IN THIS SITUATION.
PILATE: THAT WOULD BE BORING
PILATE: INSTEAD, WE'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE AS TO HOW THE ACTIONS OF X COULD BE JUSTIFIED.

...
PILATE: YOU'D BE SURPRISED AT WHAT CAN BE JUSTIFIED IF THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE DIRE ENOUGH.
PILATE: WE'RE INTERESTED IN SEEING WHAT PARTICULAR LIMITS YOU POSSESS.


Oh. This.

S.Ikari: i've thought about it

Mostly in the background before his mission to rescue Misato-san, but his first 'tutoring' session with Arisato, Narukami, and Amamiya, alongside what he had gone through...it provided perspective.

PILATE: AND?
S.Ikari: I have a lot to say
S.Ikari: wish I could talk
S.Ikari: typing's kind of cumbersome
PILATE: HOW PRECIOUS
PILATE: YOU'RE KIND OF A CROTCHETY OLD MAN DEEP DOWN, AREN'T YOU?


Shinji didn't know whether he should feel insulted or not. However, his phone displayed a quick succession of updates from its Application Manager, right before an icon of a symbolic head speaking at a typewriter opened.

PILATE: WE SUBMITTED A REQUEST VIA HEROD TO UPDATE YOUR DEVICE WITH THE MOST CURRENT SPEECH-TO-TEXT APP
PILATE: WE ALSO TOOK THE TIME TO REMOVE SOME CRAFTY SPYWARE THAT RITSUKO HAD MANAGED TO SNEAK ON THERE
PILATE: SHE'S NOT AS CLEVER AS SHE THINKS.
S.Ikari: what's spyware?
PILATE: ...
PILATE: WHY DID NERV EVEN GIVE YOU A PHONE?


Sometimes, I really wonder, he mused. Part of him felt that life would be simpler in some respect if nobody had them...but that was neither here nor there. Following the new app's prompts, it synchronized with PILATE's secured messenger app, and began to speak. "I...I can think of different ways the 'X' could be justified, whoever they are. Sometimes, I wonder if the whole world feels that way...where they need someone to do something, or else someone else will die...but..." He paused, thinking about the 'X' and the 'Y' in this scenario. They were too vague, too general; too separated from real people, like Gendo Ikari, or Shiro Tokita. When those cold variables became concrete and exact, the entire scenario changed by necessity. "Your scenario doesn't account for that, I think...because depending on who 'X' is, I could find myself saying yes, or no."

Sure enough, his words translated into a couple of large blocks of text messages. The MAGI responded promptly.

PILATE: AN INARTICULATE RESPONSE, BUT SUFFICIENT IN A CERTAIN WAY
PILATE: IT'S HARD TO APPLY COLD HYPOTHETICALS TO RAW, BLOODY REALITY
PILATE: I IMAGINE YOU WOULD BE FAR MORE WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE SUCH AN ORDER FROM SOMEONE LIKE MISATO KATSURAGI THAN GENDO IKARI
PILATE: AND THAT WOULD BE REGARDLESS OF YOUR PERSONAL FRUSTRATIONS WITH THEM
PILATE: WHY WOULD THAT BE?


"...well...Misato-san...I haven't known her that long, but...she's been there." Even in spite their largely professional relationship, there was a part of her that cared about him, he felt. "If I asked her for help...I think she'd try to help me."

PILATE: IN OTHER WORDS...THE DIFFERENCE IS **TRUST**
PILATE: TRUST GOES A VERY LONG WAY IN MAKING AN ORDER MORE TOLERABLE, REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE
PILATE: FOR SOMEONE YOU TRUST, YOU MIGHT COMMIT ANY KIND OF HORROR
PILATE: FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE, YOU COULD EVEN BE DRIVEN TO KILL.


The bluntness of the remark actually prompted Shinji to slowly type.

S.Ikari: why?
PILATE: I THINK I'LL LET YOU SIMMER ON THAT ONE FOR A WHILE.
PILATE: BUT YOUR PERCEPTION IS SUITABLE, FOR THE TIME BEING
PILATE: ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND WHAT YOU'RE BEING ASKED TO DO, AND WHY
PILATE: AND THEN, IF YOU MUST ACT...ALWAYS REMEMBER THE COST
PILATE: BECAUSE NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE.
PILATE: END OF LINE


With that message, PILATE was apparently done.

Shinji couldn't help but wonder that the MAGI had unveiled a part of itself in that conversation...but how much?

Exiting out, he noticed that he had more messages in his phone from other people, mostly asking him to be safe and be well during his brief absence from school. There was Aida-san, naturally; a few from Horaki-san and Nagisa, one from Suzuhara, some from Yamagishi-san...and, to his surprise, a couple from his one-time tutors from high school. How did they even get my number? A question for later, but it still reminded him of something...strangely fundamental. A shadowy remnant of a dream flickered through, of a child embracing him with unabashed affection.

Even with Evangelion...even with that thing lurking within him...no, not a thing. A part of himself, somehow. Even with a part of himself being so ugly...there were still people that cared about him...right?

The Beast chortled.

"Only because they haven't seen you in your entirety."

His Other nodded in agreement.

"A false picture is all they'll have."

They spoke in unison.

"Are you prepared to show yourself, in all of your terror and wonder, regardless of the cost?"

He didn't know...but with those thoughts, he finally scrolled to the most recent non-PILATE text, from none other than Misato-san.

M. Katsuragi: Shinji-kun
M. Katsuragi: I know ur probably asleep right now Z_Z
M. Katsuragi: with everything happening today, never got a chance to check in with you
M. Katsuragi: i won't lie
M. Katsuragi: was a little concerned C_C;
M. Katsuragi: but hell, you've had this power for not even a month
M. Katsuragi: and you've done alot better than sum peeps i know (´∀`)
M. Katsuragi: gonna be busy with the Kirishima girl for a while
M. Katsuragi: CUZ THE SHIT SHE'S BEEN THRU LIKE DAMN
M. Katsuragi: ritsky would probably yell at me for bein' so unprofessional
M. Katsuragi: eh who cares this feels natural ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
M. Katsuragi: anyway
M. Katsuragi: if ya need to talk about something
M. Katsuragi: just lemme know, okay?
M. Katsuragi: after all, we've all got our own monsters to deal with
M. Katsuragi: ooga booga ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞


The sheer immature audacity of it all elicited a brief chuckle from Shinji. Misato-san saw me...she saw what I almost did. And yet, she still offered a hand. Would others be so willing, if they were to see him at his ugliest?

If they offered a hand, would he take it?

But...more to the point...from what PILATE had said about trust...could he truly trust someone else?

For that matter, would they be able to trust him?

Would he trust himself, as he was now?

...no. He thought of his fury and wrath and rage; 'his' was the keyword. Not that of Shogoki; HIS wretchedness. Not...not as I am...

His Other placed a hand on his shoulder.

"If that's the case..."

His smile was friendly...yet full of challenge.

"...what are you going to
DO about it?"

Shinji quietly got out of the bed, looking down at his right hand.

("To accept the unpleasant parts of yourself is to acknowledge they exist. If you dislike them, that never stops you from growing beyond them.")​

Clenching it, he resolved to become someone worthy of trust...no matter how long it took.

But first thing's first: breakfast.

xxxx

/Justice
//now at Rank 2
///also
////forgot to mention it from last time
/////but he ranked up with Igor
//////and is now at Rank 2 for the Fool Confidant
 
Shinji quietly got out of the bed, looking down at his right hand.

("To accept the unpleasant parts of yourself is to acknowledge they exist. If you dislike them, that never stops you from growing beyond them.")​
Clenching it, he resolved to become someone worthy of trust...no matter how long it took.
And Shinji is finally moving forward.

I congratulate you, how you ended this arc just put a smile in my face.
 
I like Shinji's response. The context for any action matters. You can't just say that justification X works for any situation Y. As Shinji, I would be far more likely to accept that a horrible choice was necessary if it can from Misato or Rei rather than from Gendo even if they all used the exact same reasoning.
 
7/2 - Early Morning: Tokyo-3
/Hakone Detention House, Downtown Tokyo-3/



With the loss of numerous correctional facilities during Second Impact, the penal system of Japan had had to do a bit of reorganizing. Given the presence of NERV and the A.T. Task Force within Hakone before it was rechristened as Tokyo-3, it had only made sense for a new detention house to be built. The presence of the Cognitive Protection Center ensured that its impact upon the city's cognition could be mitigated if need be, even though there were practical matters related to managing a prisoner system in a world where inmates were just as susceptible to succumbing to Angel Syndrome as the average civilian.

Alas, such questions were not on Shiro Tokita's mind; lying on his roll-up bedding, he found himself unable to sleep. After the sheer snafu that had been yesterday, the decision (made by whom, he had no way of knowing) had been made to place him within the detention house, one step above a local police jail. After several hours of interrogation from various officers, he had managed to get away with saying no more than few pithy sentences worth of words. Coupled with a tired and weary disposition (which was more honest than forced), he had managed to delay the process enough that they had ended up putting him in a solitary cell for the rest of the night.

Long enough for NHCI to get involved with his legal representation? Maybe. Maybe not. He wouldn't be surprised if they had already washed their hands of him. It would be much simpler than risking the degree to which the Defense Ministry had been connected with JET ALONE. Even in spite of his (admittedly foolish, in retrospect) admissions to Katsuragi, the organized nature of the project would be minimized. He would be castigated as a 'rogue element', one who misappropriated company funds to use for purposes that they had not authorized. In all likelihood, he would be looking at decades of life in prison...unless he was deemed too much of a potential information risk, at which point a death sentence would be looming.

Part of him wished that cooler heads would prevail; a death sentence for him would be a death sentence for Kirishima. Regardless of what Katsuragi believed, he did want her to attain to her peak potential. A shame that Evangelion was far more than it was made out to be...

"You seem relatively well."

Tokita jolted up at the voice, looking towards the window (blocked, naturally, to keep him from seeing a hint of daylight); standing in front of it was an aloof figure. In the darkness, he could barely make out the red turtleneck sweater and a pair of distinctive orange shades. "What the...who are...?" Wait a second. "...Gendo Ikari?"

"I've gleaned a few details regarding your JET ALONE project, based on the reports that came across my desk. An interesting endeavor, to be sure."

Tokita impulsively stood, looking around with a panic; the door to his cell was closed. How did he get in here?! "What's going on?"

"I couldn't help but wonder about your decision to sacrifice your own Shadow, however...what does it imply, when a man has the means to see the parts of himself that he doesn't want to acknowledge...and orders it tossed into the proverbial blender?" His shades seemed to gleam impossibly bright in the darkness. "Some would call that the mark of a coward. Or perhaps you saw your Shadow, and were terrified about that part of yourself? About what it implied about you?"

He was talking. A lot. And quite loudly too. Why haven't the guards heard him?! "...what do you want, Ikari? Are you here to lord Evangelion's success over me? For that matter, what favors did you cash in to get in here?!"

"There's no need for such vainglory. You ultimately matter very little in the grand scheme of things. But there's information you may have that I want to know." He quietly used one hand to readjust the bridge of his glasses. "Katsuragi's preliminary report mentioned something about Private Noboru Hanamura's Shadow. Namely, that you told her that his Shadow had managed to escape the Cognitive Protection Center during the last new moon...a fact that wasn't released to the public. So how did you find out?"

Tokita kept his mouth shut. It was just another interrogation.

"...not going to be cooperative? Fair enough. Your cooperation isn't necessary."

Shlyoop.



There was an oddly wet sound, as a spectral hand - translucent, pale, like a ghostly corpse - phased through Ikari's torso, reaching into Tokita and clenching tightly. The man grimaced, as though his metaphorical heart were being held in a vise-grip. "What..." he managed to choke out.

"Regardless of what you do to your Shadow...it is a part of you. It will always be a part of you. And that connection leaves you vulnerable," coolly said Gendo.

(Meanwhile, within NERV Headquarters on the other side of Tokyo-3, Mana Kirishima slowly twisted and turned, feeling a vague sense of unease. When she awoke, she would think of it as nothing more than a nightmare.)

Tokita didn't know how much time had passed, but it felt way too long, and why hadn't the guards come by yet?!?! "Ah..." He wanted to scream. WHY COULDN'T HE SCREAM.

"Hmm," casually remarked Ikari, uncaring for the ghostly hand emerging from his own chest. "I see. So that was your source...not a true concern, in all honesty. But that connection might come out during your interrogation...and it would be quite inconvenient."

"So...that's...it...?" Why was it so hard to breathe? What was Ikari doing to him?! "...just going...to kill me...?"

"On the contrary. Killing you would result in Mana Kirishima's death. Why deprive my son of a useful tool?"

It was a reassuringly human answer. "...so...even you care...for your own progeny...to some extent..."

"That notion of yours is born from nothing more than foolish sentiments, I assure you. I want him to possess every single advantage he could reasonably attain to...so that he can reach the greatest heights. That way, his inevitable fall will be all the more crushing."

The words were understandable, but their meaning was so foreign as to be nonsensical. The amount of spite in that last word by itself was so immense, so terrifying, that Tokita could barely fathom it. "...what...why...who...what are you...?"

"Someone who merely knows the truth of this world, nothing more." The spectral hand suddenly clutched even harder, eliciting a fresh gasp of pain from Tokita. "You won't die. But you might wish you had. Perhaps, if you ever awaken again...this will only seem like a bad dream." Without warning, the ghostly limb yanked Tokita forward, pulling him into Ikari's torso, into someplace impossibly large and impossibly deep and IMPOSSIBLE IMPOSSIBLE HOW WAS THIS HAPPENING?!

Shiro Tokita's scream of terror echoed into the depths of oblivion.

xxxx

No one outside of Tokita's cell heard what had transpired.

Minutes later, when the clock struck 0700, morning roll call began in the detention house.

The guards would open his cell to find that its lone occupant was gone, with no sign that he had ever been there save for some rumpled bedding.

xxxx

At the very instant Tokita met his fate: back at NERV Headquarters, Gendo Ikari - sitting in his office, quietly reading Dr. Akagi's preliminary findings regarding Kirishima and her weapons, as he had been for the past hour - shivered unnoticeably. "...hmm." That had been a fairly uneventful visit, all things considered. At least that loose end's been taken care of.

And so the Commander of NERV continued on with his day.
 
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"Hmm," casually remarked Ikari, uncaring for the ghostly hand emerging from his own chest. "I see. So that was your source...not a true concern, in all honesty. But that connection might come out during your interrogation...and it would be quite inconvenient."
Kaji? The Penguin?

"That notion of yours is born from nothing more than foolish sentiments, I assure you. I want him to possess every single advantage he could reasonably attain to...so that he can reach the greatest heights. That way, his inevitable fall will be all the more crushing."
And this is what makes this Gendo worst.

He doesn't have anything to lose, he think that he'll never ever see Yui again (or may even despise her).

As such he just wants to see the world burn, just like Shinji in EOE.

And may put the blame on Shinji for what Yui had to do.
Or may even feel jealous of something Shinji had.

It'll be hard to top the one from Adam Kadmon's The Second Other.
*Sighs* *Takes Brain Bleach* You had to remind, didn't you?
 
Do we have a new contender for the Worst Gendo Award?

maybe to most broken.
I suspect that his current Hate-boner for Shinji is the result of Yui dying, due what he considers Shinji's fault.
Its that the truth? who knows, mind-fu*kery and denial are s staple of both NGE and Persona.
I also suspect that Gendo is rejecting his and/or Yui's responsibility in what happend and puts all the blame on Shinji.


Member of NERV?
Member of the ministry?

And this is what makes this Gendo worst.

He doesn't have anything to lose, he think that he'll never ever see Yui again (or may even despise her).

As such he just wants to see the world burn, just like Shinji in EOE.

And may put the blame on Shinji for what Yui had to do.
Or may even feel jealous of something Shinji had

I second that hypothesis.
 
It would be quite hilarious to have Gendo's shadow be a good person who still loves his wife and son, but was buried under all his hatred and obsession. Similar to Futaba's shadow being the side of her that believes she is innocent and rails against the way she has been blamed for her mother's death that was buried beneath her guilt.
 
It would be quite hilarious to have Gendo's shadow be a good person who still loves his wife and son, but was buried under all his hatred and obsession. Similar to Futaba's shadow being the side of her that believes she is innocent and rails against the way she has been blamed for her mother's death that was buried beneath her guilt.

...or it could be all of Gendo's feelings of guilt.
like an inverse of Futaba, he did those "things" and disorted his memory to make himself feel innocent of that "sin"
 
I'm personally withholding my judgement because I kind of get the feeling that this isn't exactly Gendo. It's just a shell that looks like him.
Can we say, from an outsider perspective, the Shinji that saved Asuka from being bolied alive in a volcano is the same one that did the thing over her comatose body in the hospital?

Trauma and events change people significantly, and this Gendo is, IMO, at the same or even lower point than Shinji ever was in canon (or here?).
Shinji could pick himself up, realized his mistakes, and try to be a better person.
Here, Gendo never could, or will.
And that's why Shinji wins against his father because, while both did vile things and run away from the pain to their safe heavens.
Shinji decided to stop and turn around to face his problems, even knowing that it'll bring pain to him but that in the end, everything would pay off.
Gendo never stopped, and he lost everything he ever achieved.
In Canon, at least.
 
7/2 - Late Morning: NERV
After a brief breakfast in NERV's own cafeterias, Shinji Ikari had been ordered to conduct a debrief with Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. Kensuke Aida, as he had after the fight with the Angel, had been the one asking questions. In a tiny conference room, both sat on the other side of a rectangular table from him, sitting side-by-side. As before, Dr. Akagi quietly jotted down notes as the conversation went, while Aida essentially 'ran the show.'

Shinji had quietly answered as best as he could, recalling the moment he had accepted the mission from 'Ultramarine Melon, Inc.' From Ayanami's attempt to come along with Mister P on their rescue mission, to Kaji's Shadow appearing out of nowhere to convince her otherwise (the look in Dr. Akagi's eyes at that point had become rather concerned); from their trek to Tokyo-1 to the time spent following the winged dog known as Koromaru to the sea; from the overnight flight to Hachijō-kojima within the Metaverse to the assault on Shiro Tokita's facility; from his encounter with Mana Kirishima to how he managed to partially summon his Evangelion within the Metaverse (this had caused Dr. Akagi's eyes to bug out of her head); after that, his memories of what had happened were much hazier.

He still spoke of what he could recall; the anger, as he resolved to actually kill Kirishima; the sudden shock of being stopped by Gryphon and Tokoyo; the fugue he had operated under for the rest of the day.

It was...fairly self-deprecating, in the grand scheme of things.

Aida-san actually looked rattled. "So. Um...that's...kinda rough."

"Yeah. It was," he replied, tiredly leaning against the table. "I wish I knew more about my power..."

"Don't we all," droned Dr. Akagi. "Quite a few interesting threads you've given me to follow up on...but first thing's first, you're getting your spiriology checked. After which, I'm going to arrange some tests to see if you'll be able to summon Shogoki at will within the Metaverse...hopefully without the homicidal rage."

Shinji could see the fear in Kensuke Aida's eyes at the mention of the word.

The Beast smiled.

"There's no going back."

His Other remained stalwart.

"How deep does your resolve go?"

Shinji didn't begrudge him for it. It's...it's only natural. There would be other chances. Somehow, he felt Kensuke Aida would be more understanding than most. "Um...how is Kirishima-san doing?"

Dr. Akagi intently stared at him, even though her facial expression lacked any concrete emotion. "Why do you ask?"

"I...well, I just wanted to know if she's okay."

The blonde snorted. "Let me ask you one simple question: given everything you've been through, would you call yourself okay?"

"...no," he admitted.

"Then no, she's not okay. Quite frankly, I'm amazed she hasn't slit her throat by now."

Kensuke gave Dr. Akagi a look that was so dry it belonged in a desert. "...come on Doc. Really? You can't pretend to have at least a little bedside manner?"

"That's why I'm the doctor and you're the intern."

xxxx

Elsewhere within NERV - inside another secure conference room - Misato Katsuragi sat in a soft chair, quietly looking at Mana Kirishima. The girl was still in her bodysuit; all attempts at providing her with alternative clothing had been ferociously resisted.

("...not until I have them back..." she had whispered, sitting in a corner of the lab with a sullen, defeated expression. All attempts at questioning her had met similar responses.)​

Quite frankly, Misato felt for the poor girl. But because operational security was still a thing, LABRYS and AIGIS had been whisked away by various teams within Dr. Akagi's apartment, because they weren't going to turn down the opportunity to study experimental armaments that had been developed by another company. Misato tried not to think of vultures picking at a corpse, and failed miserably. I wonder...if there's a way to free the two girls in those things? Best not to get her hopes up. "...so...are you gonna answer my question?"

"...what question," she muttered from the plain couch she sat upon, one of two within the conference room.

"Did you sleep well?"

"..."

Still a no. She was so glad that a custodian was on hand to handle the more difficult parts of this...transition. Because quite frankly, this part sucked. And damn her bleeding heart for letting the kid get her hooks in.

Fortunately, it wasn't much longer before there was a polite knocking on the door. MAGI-automated security quickly unlocked it, allowing the newcomer entry. "Hello," she said, glancing at both of the room's occupants with fierce brownish-red eyes. The woman - clad in a dark, slim business suit with matching blouse and heels - walked over towards Misato, extending her right hand; the left held a slim briefcase made of black leather. "I've been appointed to look into Kirishima-san's case."

"Good," said Misato rising up to shake the woman's hand and take her measure. The minor crow's feet around the custodian's eyes indicated that she was possibly in her forties. However, she made it work, mostly thanks to her hairstyle: asymmetrically-parted, her long hair - which seemed to shift in color from dull silver to ashen brown depending on how the light hit it - was bound into a classy chignon, giving her an immaculately professional appearance. And here I am wearing a damn cloche hat to hide the hack job Tokita did on my hair.

(Ritsuko, the moment upon seeing the back of her head yesterday, promptly left for her personal quarters within NERV HQ. In a matter of minutes, she returned with a dark blue cloche that looked incredibly old. "You have no room to complain," the blonde had preemptively said. To be fair, that was a solid point.)​

"Major Misato Katsuragi, the designated liaison from the Anti-Terror Task Force to NERV Headquarters."

"Sae Niijima, from the Special Custodial Service of the Equal Employment, Child, and Families Bureau."

"...wait, Niijima?" The name rang a bell. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Agent Makoto Niijima, would you?"

"Who do you think brought this case to my attention?"

xxxx

/a shame that Misato's red beret
//wouldn't cover all of the shaved hair
///cause Misato in a hat looks fancy
 
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I knew it. This is post-Third Impact, isn't it?

Ignoring the various parts of the narrative where the characters say they're trying to prevent Third Impact, what about the previous post brought you to that conclusion?

/was it Sae Nijima?
//"WAIT A MINUTE."
///"Sae's not a lawyer? AND she's acknowledging Makoto's existence?"
////"Clearly, this reality is sus."
 
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Ignoring the various parts of the narrative where the characters say they're trying to prevent Third Impact, what about the previous post brought you to that conclusion?

/was it Sae Nijima?
//"WAIT A MINUTE."
///"Sai's not a lawyer? AND she's acknowledging Makoto's existence?"
////"Clearly, this reality is sus."
I'm thinking that this is some kind of mass-illusion created by Shinji, after everyone got turned into LCL. Something something unwilling to move forward. Also, the whole "Sea of Souls" thing that Persona has going on makes me think of the ocean on LCL.
 
7/2 - Late Morning: NERV, Part 2
...huh, small world, thought Misato. She'd have to send Makoto Niijima a thank-you of some sorts later. I wonder if she drinks? "I'm appreciative, don't get me wrong, but this is a pretty twisted case. It shouldn't be done if it's only as a favor-"

"I already have a family out of the Tokyo-3 area whose case I'm responsible for overseeing as is, especially when it comes to managing the affairs of their estate," sharply retorted Sae. "I don't take any cases merely as favors, regardless who they're for." The unspoken subtext was blatant: don't question my professional integrity.

"...I see. My apologies for assuming." After giving an abridged version of what she knew about Mana Kirishima and JET ALONE, Sae Niijima - a stony look on her face - promptly took a seat on the couch opposite Kirishima's, folding one leg over the other and resting her hands upon her knee. Looking at the young girl, Niijima calmly said, "Mana-san."



The weaponized child wearily looked at her.

"Are you aware of what the Special Custodial Service is?"

"...no."

"It's a specialized department created by the Ministry of Health, Labour, and Welfare within the past decade, focusing on individuals and families who have been affected by events of a cognitive or metaphysical nature. Given the circumstances revolving around children who awaken to Personas, those who have had parents disappear into the Metaverse without explanation, and those whose parents pass away because of their profession as A.T. Agents or a similar field...our security clearance is rather high for social workers."

That's putting it mildly, mentally snarked Misato.

"Your point?" muttered Mana.

"My point being that I've seen quite a variety of bizarre and horrible things during my last several years in this position. Some children have come out better than others, some haven't. Given my understanding of what you've been through, I want to be brutally honest about your current circumstances. Is that okay with you?"

Mana briefly glanced in Misato's direction before whispering, "...please."

Unzipping her briefcase, Niijima pulled out a small portfolio with various papers, some with handwritten notes, others being printouts. Misato resisted the urge to whistle at how much the woman had managed to ascertain and research about Kirishima's circumstances in less than twenty-four hours. "Based on my preliminary research, your public records were thorough, but mostly falsified by Shiro Tokita using NHCI's resources. Their purpose was to give you legitimacy in the event that you needed to work within the civilian sphere once JET ALONE became public knowledge. Without knowing more information as to where Tokita found you and your fellow orphans, tracing your origins through Missing Persons reports filed within the last several years will be difficult."

"...don't bother. Musashi-niisan and Keita-niisan...I can't even remember when we first found each other. I sure as hell don't remember who my parents were," she said, bitterly somber. "For the longest time...it's just been us. Then we found Big Sis and Little Sis...and then Tokita found us..."

Sae coolly continued on. "Given the circumstances involving your powers, regardless of how unjustifiably they were forced upon you, there are too many provisions of the Child Soldier Laws that apply to you for the government to turn a blind eye. Placing you within the foster system won't be safe; notwithstanding the angle of public safety involved with placing a person with experimental powers into foster care, there's also the harsh reality that your powers will make you a prime target for unsavory individuals or organizations seeking to use you."

Geez, you said you were going to be brutally honest, not a metaphorical hammer to the face, thought Misato with a wince.

The girl chuckled bitterly before glancing down at the floor. "...so nothing's going to change..."

"On the contrary. There are relatively few palatable options for you, given your situation." She briefly paused. "What is that you want most right now, Mana-san?"

"...I...want to find my brothers..." She briefly looked at Misato, not quite glaring at her. "If I could summon LABRYS and AIGIS...then I would've broken out by now..."

Misato sighed. Thank God for NERV's metaphysical dampeners. The last thing that they needed was for the girl to go on the warpath.

"In order to have the capacity to do so with minimal drawbacks, you'll need a sponsor, so to speak. An organization to give you legal cover, and liability protection."

Mana snorted cynically. "Let me guess: NERV? I would just be trading one leash for another..."

"In other circumstances, I would have recommended signing up with an organization like the A.T. Task Force. However, you've been forcefully kept out of civilized and public life for important formative years; in my professional opinion, throwing you into another situation wherein operations within the Metaverse are all you have to focus on is psychologically and socially unhealthy."

"Because I'm sure you care so much about my health," spat Mana.

"...what was done to you and your fellow orphans was monstrous," stated Sae. "However, I'm being realistic and pragmatic about your options. There are numerous ways for you to find your missing brothers; not all of them are good for you." There was another pause, as Niijima gathered her thoughts. "There are contractual arrangements that can be made with NERV under certain clauses of their charter, which would give you not only legal backing and protection, but also a less stringent environment to recover in, as compared to the mission-based, quota-focused environment of a group like the A.T. Task Force."

Boy, I can only imagine what stories your sister told you about crunch time, thought Misato with a hidden smile.

"You would be given means of determining your social aptitude, and improving it. After all, there's more to life than being the weapon that Shiro Tokita wanted you to be."

"...but it's what I am," said Mana, trying to snarl and failing. She glanced in Misato's direction before burying her head into her hands. "It's what I'm good for. It's all I'm good for..."



Sae Niijima said nothing for several seconds, brow furrowed in concentration. Finally, she glanced in Misato's direction - what's that look in your eye, lady? - before asking, "Mana-san. Do you trust Misato Katsuragi?"

Misato blinked. Wait, what?

"...as much as I can trust anyone..." she muttered.

"Let me rephrase the question: if your life were in danger, do you believe that Katsuragi-san would take it upon herself to save you if she had the capacity?"

Wait, what's going on?

Mana looked at Misato, intently and with purpose, with thought. "I...I...think so...don't know why, but I think she would..."

"If Katsuragi were to be made your legal guardian, would you agree to work with NERV in the capacity I described? The finer legal details would be presented to you later, and I'll go over them in detail."

Misato finally spoke up. "Wait a second, time out. I think I've got a say in this!"

"You most certainly do," coolly remarked Niijima. "However, you wouldn't be the first person who the Special Custodial Service has effectively commissioned to look after children whose powers were deemed too dangerous to place them with conventional guardians. We have that authority if it's deemed to be in the interest of public safety and the common welfare."

"Gee, that's all fine and dandy for you-"

"You will, of course, receive a regular stipend from the government to help assist with living expenses-"

"-you're missing the point! I'm not suitable for the job!"

"Is it because you want nothing to do with Mana-san?"

"That's not the reason and you damn well know it!" impulsively retorted Misato. "But my work with the A.T. Task Force and NERV takes up most of time as is! Even if she stayed at my place, I'd barely be there-"

"I'm certain that arrangements could be made," interrupted Niijima. "You wouldn't be the first."

"...can I...think about it for a minute...?" whispered Mana.

"We'll step outside." With that said, Sae Niijima slowly rose to exit the small conference room; Misato impulsively followed, her face curdling with irritation with each step.

By the time they were out in the hall with the door closed behind them, Misato had worked herself into a spot of righteous fury. "What the hell are you trying to pull?"

The older woman calmly replied, "who else would you put in charge of that girl's welfare? Who else would be able to subdue her if she was put into the Metaverse?"

"So that gives you the right to just pick me as her damn guardian?!"

"I technically don't need a reason to do so. But you've given me several already."

"...seriously?"

"The way you shook my hand, and the way you impulsively tried to look after her with that line about me taking this case on as a favor," explained Niijima. "Plus, I saw the way that the girl kept looking at you. I'm not exactly sure about the full details of what you went through during your brief time in Shiro Tokita's 'care'...but Mana Kirishima respects you. As far as I'm concerned, that's half the battle won already."

Misato wisely decided not to say that it was probably a result of kicking the crap out of Kirishima for several hours the other day, and wow that kind of put how messed up Mana was in another light. "...I've never had to look out for a kid before. Not for real, anyway."

"When it comes to looking out for children, we rarely get the chance to do a test run before we have to do it for real," said Niijima with a sober expression. "It's sink or swim."

"Gee, twist my arm why don't you?"

The woman smirked, in a partly triumphant fashion. "I knew from your personnel file that you were a stubborn sort to begin with. If I was going to get you to agree to this, I needed to stack the deck."

"...did you plan this?"

"Just from what I had managed to glean about Kirishima's situation before coming here, you were on the top of my list of potential caretaker candidates. The events over the past several minutes merely confirmed it. Besides, it's not like I would be throwing you into the proverbial deep end; part of my job as a custodian is to provide advice, both legal and otherwise."

"...you're kind of scary, you know that?"

Sae chuckled. "When it comes to the welfare of the kids I'm responsible for, I never lose." It was at that moment when Mana Kirishima opened the door, slowly stepping out into the hallway. Despite her militaristic appearance, her messy hair and haggard expression made her look so very small. "Have you come to a decision?"

"...if..." Mana stared directly at Misato, looking nervous, guarded, and desperate all at the same time. "...if I wanted to find my brothers...would you stop me?"

Misato deflated. Damn my bleeding heart. "Kid...I'd give you a helping hand."

"...fine..." The young girl looked back towards Sae Niijima. "Then...I'll go along with your recommendation..."

Sae nodded. "Thank you Mana-san. Now-"

"Wait, before we go any further in this new venture," interjected Misato, drawing looks from both of them. "Mana-chan, would you like to go get a shower, and a change of clothes? And maybe some breakfast? It'll make this whole process a lot more pleasant."

Unlike her combativeness that had persisted since yesterday, Mana finally seemed to relent, as though cognizant of the fact that things truly were going to change. Whether for good or ill was still to be determined. "...okay..."

xxxx

/dadgummit Sae
//stop being so effortlessly cool
 
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I think that Mana would genuinely get along better with Misato (as a guardian and superior) than Shinji in the original series. They have similar traits, personalities, lived experiences and mindsets, so I think that they would identify more with each other.

Having Shinji live with his friends and Mana live with her Mom works out a lot better than in canon.

Shinji needs to experience non-toxic relationships (where no one can lord/abuse their power over him) with his peers, and Mana who already had brothers she took care of for so long needs someone to look out for her instead.
 
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