My bad. Can be hard to remember what everyone is doing.
It's no big deal. I'm practically living and breathing this story, so it's only fair of me to remind people of things they may have forgotten. (After all, we're going on three years since this story was first published...which is sort of a misnomer, since there was a huge hiatus in the middle of the 6/14 chapter, where I abruptly stopped updating from June 22, 2019 until May 25, 2020.
xxxx
Once his right hand was sufficiently cleaned and bandaged, Yu flexed his fingers gently. "Thanks."
"After how I've treated you in previous lives, it is the least I can do." Stepping away from the restroom, Ayanami sat down at the foot of the bed. "What will you do now?"
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urg_DEyHN0M
Yu sat down on the couch between the two chairs, facing her directly across the coffee table. "...that depends. What are
you going to do?" he asked, turning the question around. In the face of her silence, he added, "based on what you've described: an Impact Timeline is usually treated like a 'break period' of sorts for all sides involved, because they
know how events are supposed to unfold. Any deviations are therefore subject to more scrutiny as a result."
"Correct."
"So while you've been enduring those repeats as a form of self-inflicted punishment," because he wasn't going to hide
how he felt about that aspect, "the Angels are likely regrouping, whilst the Usurper is spending their time doing...who knows what." (It was strange, how she referred to her old enemy merely by a title, instead of by name.)
(
Because the mere act of mentioning their name can apparently cause ripples of awareness...and why would Ayanami be mentioning their name to the likes of you?)
(Life had suddenly gotten a lot more complicated.)
"That seems like an accurate summation."
"Meanwhile, whenever there's a
new timeline, with all its constants and variables, the Angels manifest new tactics and strategies, while the Usurper simply...observes?"
"I cannot speak for either side. I cannot speak for what the Usurper is hoping to find. The Angels are likely trying to find loopholes...or
gaps...in the Usurper's hold over ADAM. If ADAM were to slip free of his shackles, then the seal on his power would no longer be connected to the Throne. The War in Heaven would start anew."
(The whole enterprise sounded as much a battle on metaphysical and ontological terms as it was a mental and spiritual one.) "...a shame that they hold such animosity against humanity, then."
Rei sighed forlornly. "It is an animus that existed long before I was even 'born.' The current state of affairs has only increased their enmity, as time goes on, and the failures mount...little wonder, that they seemed to focus so heavily on the powers you possessed in your 'first' life." Crossing her arms, the battle-weary woman gazed at the ceiling. "The Velvet Room...from whence did it come from? How did it come to be...?"
(That had certainly been another interesting wrinkle to consider: that Izanami, Kagutsuchi, and Mikuratana had doubtlessly been created from the power of various Angels. Had it all been a mere ploy to try and understand how his own powers worked?)
(
Not your power, per se
; the power of the Velvet Room, which you utilized.)
(Then what did that mean for Marie...?)
"...there has to be an endgame of sorts," said Yu. "With each new 'reset' to the timeline, a human soul is sacrificed. Even if there are billions of humans to choose from...it's a finite supply. Wouldn't there come a point where the balance would tip against the Usurper?"
"Most likely. But the only means I can think of for the Usurper to gain full control over the Throne — to become a deity, truly and fully — is beyond them. That has been my only solace."
Yu frowned, leaning back on the couch. (Now that his existential dilemma had been dealt with...for the
most part...he could focus on something that had been bugging him.) "...one thing is puzzling me. Based on your story...I can understand why Shinji, Asuka, and Yui always felt 'off.' Likewise Ryoji Kaji, for different reasons...but what I
don't get is why I never felt that way around Naoko Akagi."
"Pardon?"
"Because if what you told me is true...and based on how the Impact Timeline usually transpires if not interfered with...Naoko Akagi
died in the year 2010." (Which stung, because he had genuinely come to care for that brilliant yet flawed woman.) "So
why did she not feel the same? Why did
she feel like a living human being?"
"...I'm...not sure." Rei seemed honestly disturbed by this idea. "...but you're right. In retrospect...the sensation I felt from her was different, in subtle ways from Yui, Ikari, Sohryu, or Kaji. But I never questioned it..." (Curious, that Ayanami's senses were more finely tuned to his on the matter of souls...then again, why would that be surprising? It was only to be expected!) "...but why would that be...?" Her irises briefly flickered in width, narrowing and widening with unnerving quickness. "...the MAGI...could it be...that they're still
functioning...? How? Is there time dilation...?"
"...mind enlightening me?"
Rei's eyes flashed towards his, as if remembering he was there. "Ah. My apologies. There...there may be something I can do. Something I can look into, alongside this Velvet Room...and what will you be doing in the interim?"
(That was the key question, wasn't it?) "Unless the Velvet Room chooses to appear before me again...now that I know the circumstances, my options are limited. I suppose...I'll just focus on living, for now."
"...that you can still find that sort of strength is admirable, Narukami-san." Like a thief in the night, came her sad smile: gone in a flash. "I had wondered if you were merely indulging base urges...but you cared for Katsuragi, the Akagis, and Ibuki, didn't you?"
Yu crossed his arms. "It wouldn't have meant anything if I didn't."
"I see. Then so long as you continue to endure, I hope you find happiness."
"Shouldn't you be telling yourself that?" he asked, rising to his feet. Walking around the coffee table, he stared directly into her crimson eyes. "You're still grieving, aren't you? From the way you talked about those kids..."
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC1mMwV91lg
"...I may have told you of my failure, Narukami-san...but you didn't live it." Rising to her feet, she stared at him, face-to-face. "It is not your business if I choose to suffer. Do
not presume to speak of the lost so familiarly."
"If they were anything like you told me, then they wouldn't want you to do this to yourself either."
"And they cannot
speak anymore, for either themselves or for anyone else. Because of
me...they..."
On gut instinct, Yu wrapped his arms around Ayanami's shoulders, embracing her. "I have it on good authority that even parents can feel sad."
"I have already mourned."
"You're
still mourning."
Rei said nothing else. She did not return his embrace, nor did she begin to cry; however, the utter
agony manifested itself regardless, as full-body shivers and hitched breathing; it was as though her entire being wanted to break apart under a paroxysmal storm of sorrow.
Yu kept his hold on her regardless, until she finally wore herself out, and fell asleep standing up.
You may have the soul of LILITH...but you're still just as human as anyone else...
xx
The next morning, shortly after sunrise.
Yu Narukami and Rei Ayanami stood side-by-side in the hotel elevator as it descended.
"...I am somewhat surprised," admitted Rei.
"About what?"
"...given your past demeanor, I would have expected us to wind up in bed together."
"Is that so?" he said, slyly glancing in her direction. (The thought
had crossed his mind at one or two points last night, admittedly; however, after placing her slumbering body on the mattress, he had opted to sleep on the couch.) "Is that a problem?"
Rei quietly returned his glance. "You have an odd charisma about you. You're very patient and understanding...and you're not unattractive, physically speaking." She seemed cognizant of how dry and clinical she sounded about the prospect, because she then asked, "so why not?"
He could have said something about their minds had been preoccupied (
not like that's stopped you before). He could have said something about how most of his memories of her were from when she was a minor (
physically speaking; in truth, she's older than you are. And at this present moment, she's an adult in actuality.). He could have said many things...but those would have been mere excuses. So instead, he told her the truth...now matter how casual it sounded. "The mood wasn't right."
"...and that's all it was?" she asked, surprisingly amused by his candidness.
"Plus...I don't think you would've gotten anything out of it."
"...you're rather considerate, Narukami-san."
"I try."
As the elevator neared the lobby floor, she said, "in the future...if something changes...and the course of destiny itself begins to turn...then I will seek you out. After coming this far...you deserve to be aware of when things change."
Now that's a promise I can get behind. "I'll hold you to that, Ayanami-san."
Then they went their separate ways.
xx
A few days later, NERV was holding a press event to answer questions about a recent offensive in the Ether, particularly how the Egoists led by Lieutenant Colonel Misato Katsuragi had made huge strides into the territories held by Ramiel. Gendo Ikari, as ever, had been on hand to speak.
As Gendo walked towards his chauffeured vehicle outside the venue (being photographed relentlessly, with journalists asking more questions, trying in vain to get past the police line on both sides), Yu Narukami stepped towards the edge of the line. "Gendo Ikari."
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEkxnDur4xI
His voice seemed to break through the clamor, because Gendo turned slowly towards him. Though his eyes were hidden by orange shades (as ever), his eyebrow quirked with curiosity. "Narukami-san. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"
"You know what you did," flatly said Yu.
Then he broke through the police line and slugged Gendo in the face.
xxxx
/September 7, 1996/
OBSERVATIONS:
- This is my one-hundred-and-first life. My one-hundredth life ended in prison, when an inmate that had been driven to insanity by an Angelic Nightmare went into a rampage: I was collateral damage. Friends found: Chie and Kanji. New friends made: Rei.
- Continued: I was in prison because I had assaulted Gendo Ikari, punching him ten times in the face. (Totally worth it.)
- Important Events: I found out the Truth.
- New Name: Yu Narukami
- New Age: 12 Years Old
- New Location: Tokyo
- Miscellany: it's going to be odd, living for the mere sake of it...almost like biding time, to be honest. But all avenues are currently blocked...so now it's time to be patient.
- Continued: Even if none of my friends are capable of remembering...establishing bonds with them and with other people still brings my life meaning. And so I'll endure.
Yu paused before writing down his last line, as was custom; but now he knew that his 'first' life had hardly been that. It was likely because of the Velvet Room that he was able to remember who he was from timeline to timeline...so it was the beginning, in many ways. With that thought, he wrote down his new vow.
- Always remember where you came from. Never forget those you've lost, and those who have died. Cherish your relationships: past, present, and future.
And with that, Yu tore up the sheet of paper into shreds before going back to his school work.
xxxx
/we're finally at a point
//where I can do a big time skip
///getting closer to wrapping up this Sidestory
