1:8
At the heart of it, there were people she was supposed to trust with her life. Her parents were among them. They'd raised her, had taken her in as nothing more than a babe. They had choices, while abandoning the baby to die would certainly be looked at poorly, everyone whispered about how, in times of famine, mothers were sometimes forced to make difficult decisions. Besides, they could have brought the child to a priest and the priest would have been obligated to find some parent or another.
Instead they had kept her, and named her, and she had become of their flesh in a way more important than birth. (Lotte knew that whatever It claimed, He was not her parent, She was not the one who had acted as a parent. At least, she knew that most of the time, when she didn't worry, when her thoughts didn't go down the wrong path as blind as a novice in a dark forest.)
But what if her parents were simply employees, simply secret cultists? "Did my parents… know?"
The Nachtmater didn't have a human face, and yet somehow the proboscis and body managed to look a little bit pained for just a brief moment. If Lotte wasn't staring at her so intently, she might have missed it. Even then it was odd, Lotte just felt a sort of tug at her guts, as if she knew there that the Nachtmater was about to lie.
"Of course, being what it was, such choices would have been decided well in advance. Why wouldn't your parents have known?"
Lotte took a long, deep breath and said, "Please, do not lie to me."
There was a gasp, going around and around. You didn't accuse the Gods of being liars, at least not most of them.
"They… were perhaps less aware than it might be expected considering the situation."
Lotte stared at her for a long moment, trying to think about this. Expected by who? The Forgotten God? Did that mean that previous 'sons' were raised by cultists but she hadn't been? If so, then was it Nachtmater who did so? But Lotte had no idea why she'd do that.
Lotte took a deep breath, feeling a moment of self-assurance. They weren't lying, they weren't faking. They didn't know what Lotte was… though of course that meant that Lotte would have to tell them, one day. It was a mixed blessing, but only a little mixed.
It was a weight off his chest. In fact, thinking about that saying made her realize there was a literal weight off her chest, and she was too tired and too excited by the news to deny it. She liked that she didn't have any breasts at all, as if she could somehow breathe easier, as if her breasts had been giant weights that were now gone.
Which brought Lotte to another question. 'What am I?' No, that was too blunt, and what if the Nachtmater actually answered honestly? Lotte could already feel the scrutiny multiply after that first question. But she could also feel the tension, the way that the Nachtmater seemed unwilling or unable to simply go away. Lotte knew it didn't have to do with her importance, it was probably just the curiosity of a Goddess.
"What does it mean? What happened?" Lotte asked, as the Goddess drew closer. She smelled faintly of pollen, and shimmered in the half-light of the moon.
"A door was opened. It cannot be opened if there is no door. And it means what you will it to mean. There is no one Fate that you must obey." The wind whistled through the trees as she finished speaking. "It does not mean you were turned into a monster. It means that you are as you are. Do you think I, of all the Gods upon these lands, judge others for being, or becoming, beastfolk, especially Lamia? I do not." She turned to the abbess and said, "The night ends soon, and another night begins. The light which has long been half-shadowed might come out from its cloud. Or perhaps it will rain. Either way, one must prepare for it. I shall come in dreams and portents to speak more on this matter, but the word must be spread through the midnight networks."
Lotte gaped, more stunned than she had been in a long time. She couldn't even imagine what this meant, for it sounded like the sorts of words that preceded wars between Gods, great upheavals, things that felt a long way from her slithering through the garden of some monastery.
She was as she was? If there was no Fate, then why was she supposedly acting upon Lotte and the world? What were her plans? But Lotte knew that she wouldn't understand them even if she was told them outright, and she was aware that she was asking a lot of a Goddess who had not ever asked anything of her.
"You are afraid," the Nachtmater said, suddenly turning to her, moving even closer. "You should not be." Now it loomed over her. "You have a strong and stable heart. You think yourself a fool, but… what is foolishness?"
"I… do you want an answer?" Lotte asked, uncertain. Often times people asked questions just to ask them, to make a point. She'd never gotten that. It had something to do with being rhethorical? Roth… ore… something. Something like that. She was blanking on the word at the moment. Which was yet more proof of her stupidity.
"Yes. I cannot see into your thoughts, but it is very clear there is much you do not yet understand. But that is not folly."
Lotte nodded, even though she didn't agree. Despite all the opportunities she was given, she still had to drag her way through books, she still misunderstood the words of others. At times it seemed as if understanding swam always just out of grasp. "I… will think on your words."
"Do so, please," Nachtmater asked. "I will be watching you, but judgement is not always so clear in the night."
With that mysterious saying She… vanished. One moment she was there, and the next, without any flashes of light or any signs at all, she was gone.
"I… I should be going," Lotte said. "Thank you for allowing me to view your rites." She bowed low to the abbess, who gaped at her.
"Wait… we should discuss what was said," the abess argued.
"My friend is tired, and is not a priest," Frederick said, stepping forward, his face blank. "She does not need to be interrogated or questioned now, if she does not wish to be."
"N-no," Lotte said, firmly.
They left with eyes on their back, Lotte slithering ahead of Frederick, who seemed to almost be trying to shield her with his body, as impossible as that was.
"You can ask," Lotte whispered when they'd reached the stairwell down into the 'hidden' library.
No doubt he thought she was a freak, that there was something wrong with her, or perhaps worse, something wondrous about her when she was not that special. Even if she was a demigod, that wasn't something she chose, that wasn't something about her, it was something that had happened to her. She didn't want to be an idol to be worshipped, or a strange… exotic marvel, let alone a bizarre horror.
"But you don't want to answer. Why would I demand answers? They are yours to give or not. I do not deserve to know everything about you."
"What?"
"I've been to many places. Do you think I did so by demanding explanations to anything I didn't understand." Frederick sighed. "No, you have to listen to people, respect them, and let them teach you if they want to… and if they don't, or don't want to reveal things, you accept it. Pressing them, treating them like a fascinating work of art… what would that have aided me? I hope you don't think I'm like that." His voice was so downcast that Lotte almost confessed about what Naja had told her, which of course was part of the reason she'd worried and doubted.
"Thank you," Lotte said again, her voice a little more stable and a little louder. "Thank you, Frederick."
Frederick sounded like he was smiling when he said, after a silent minute of Lotte going down the stairs first, "You're welcome."
*******
It was almost noon the next day when Naja finally found Lotte, curled up over a stack of pillows and a large desk, reading through yet another volume that seemed to emphasize only the sins and strange habits of the Lamia.
"There you are! We finally made a breakthrough. Dunno what you've been up to, but I've been brilliant!" Naja grinned, and Lotte looked at the dark circles around her eyes and her general dishelvement.
"What happened?" Lotte asked.
"Well, I was staying up late reading, and I fell asleep, and I just… figured it out. I'd been on the right track the whole time. One of the books I wanted to look over again in a few days once I'd chased down other leads was the right one!"
"A… dream?" Lotte asked.
"Yeah. I don't think it was anything special. I'm amazing, but dream visitations seem rather unlikely," Naja von Siebert said, leaning in closer to Lotte as if to see what she was reading.
"I… last night, the Nachtmater…"
"What?"
Lotte cleared her throat. "I went to a rite of the Nachtmater and she showed up, and we talked for a little while."
"You what?!"
"It's… I don't want to talk about it," Lotte said. "I think I presumed too much."
"Well, alright I guess. Now tell me all about it. You don't get to say 'I don't want to talk about it' to me. This could be important to our research!" Naja demanded.
Lotte thought of Frederick's words and shrugged. "I asked about what happened to me, and she didn't answer directly. I asked whether my parents knew…"
"Hmm. Alright then. I do want to hear more, but I'm sure you're excited to learn that apparently your soul had to have been transformed! Aisling agreed, and Karle came around to it. Only the transformation of a soul could make something like this stick for more than perhaps an hour, and probably less. Which means we need to talk to a soul expert, or at least read the notes of one. And we've thought of two places that might work."
"Three," Lotte said, thinking about what Frederick had said about a university and soul research. "There's a university down south that researched souls."
"Oh. Right. I remember hearing about that. That could be an option, too. Either way, we've agreed to go with you to the next stop. It might be good research, and I just want to see this through."
Lotte thought about the kinds of things they could say, or even reveal, and yet nodded anyways. She was already lying to them. Once they learned she was, she didn't want to think about what would happen.
She'd have to just… keep on going forward.
******
Some time after dinner--which was boiled meat and vegetables--there was a knock on Lotte's door. "Come in," Lotte said. She'd just been laying around, checking her bowstrings and making sure her pack was in order.
Frederick stepped in, dressed down a little, in clothing that seemed like it would be more comfortable to sleep in than his usual. "I've heard you're leaving."
"I am, yes," Lotte said. "We're supposed to be going at dawn, but I'm pretty sure for them that means within a few hours of sunrise."
Frederick laughed. "We scholars don't have many reasons to be as strict about hours as you are, when we can elucubrate."
"Elu-what?" Lotte asked.
"It's when you stay up all night studying or writing by candlelight," Frederick said. "It's a hazard of the trade."
"Huh," Lotte said. You apparently learned new things every day, though she had a feeling she'd never use that word in her life.
"I suspect we won't meet again, at least not anytime soon, after you leave," Frederick said, a slight frown on his face.
"You've been very good, though Naja warned me about you."
"Naja did?" Frederick asked.
"Well, Karle told her something…"
"About what?"
"Your history." Lotte shook her head and hesitantly added, "How you only get… involved with non… non-humans."
Frederick's eyes lit up. "So now you're worried about how I was being polite to you?"
"You were more than polite. You were nice, very nice," Lotte said. "I will miss you." Not every day, not constantly, but he'd been good to her, and she was attracted to him.
"You're still worried."
"Wouldn't you be? I think I might be a lamia forever, but…"
"Did you see me flirt with Aisling?"
"No? You flirted with Aisling?" Lotte felt jealousy stir in her belly like a thousand angry hornets.
"No, I didn't!" Frederick said, stepping forward. "I didn't because I wasn't attracted to her. If it was just about not being human, then shouldn't I be trying to seduce both of you? No, I like you. I think you're smarter than you think you are, and certainly bolder and kinder too. I've heard a little about what you've done, and I've seen the way you pay attention, focus even when you're not of a scholarly bent. You're amazing, Lotte." Frederick said it all so simply, as if it didn't need to be embroidered with the kind of fancy phrases he sometimes used.
As if it was an undeniable truth.
Lotte's body moved almost on its own as she shifted towards him, slithering, heart beating faster and faster. Lotte stopped and said, "May I…?" as she reached down slightly and touched Frederick's chin.
Frederick's eyes were wide, but he nodded, as Lotte kissed him. It was just a peck on the cheek, but that close she could smell him. He smelled clean, of course, but more than that there was a faint floral scent to him, perhaps some sort of perfume or something in his bath. It was almost intoxicating as she kissed him again, and this time his tongue slipped into her open mouth, touching hers. It was strange, having a forked tongue, and she shuddered at the strange feeling.
It wasn't a bad shudder.
She knew she had far less to recommend her, especially scent wise. If she was lucky she didn't smell of sweat at all. She hadn't been exercising, so perhaps not. Frederick wrapped his arms around her shoulder, as careful as someone walking over a trap. He was probably ready to pull them back if she said no. Instead she kept on kissing him, until he had to pull away.
It was strange and messy, and there was drool on her lips as her head swam. She could have kept on kissing, but apparently he ran out of breath easier.
"Huh," Frederick said. "You know you're beauti…" Frederick trailed off as Lotte winced without meaning to. "Handsome?"
Somehow that word felt better. It was still a lie, though. "No I'm not."
"Well, I'm attracted to you, and I say you look handsome to me," Frederick said, gently, easily, as if she were an easily spooked animal. Perhaps she was. She shifted forward to hug him again, placing a softer, gentler kiss on his lips. She was still far from an expert, she'd just done what felt natural, but it was still a little bit charged. She hoped the flush on his face meant he liked it. "I… it's up to you to decide what comes next, if anything does."
Lotte hesitated, as he shifted slightly closer to the door, not sure what she really wanted. She wasn't sure of a lot of things. She did know that thinking of him on top of her, rutting like animals, made her feel sick. The arousal turned bitter and began to fall away just thinking about it. Even if it didn't disgust her--and she was starting to wonder why it did, thanks to Aisling--she wasn't sure she was ready for that. But what else was there? She knew that there were people in her village would know, and there were songs that would have been sung long after she'd gone to sleep. She vaguely remembered hearing that one could put one's mouth upon other… body parts.
But she had no idea whether she'd want that or not, when she wasn't sure whether she was… what if she wasn't a woman. It would certainly explain not wanting to… have things… there.
Flushing, she thought about what she wanted. "You could stay the night, just to sleep. If… you wanted."
"Do you want me to?"
Lotte thought for a long time, and gave her answer.
*****
The next day they left, far closer to noon than dawn, as Lotte had suspected.
*************
Votes!
Does Lotte sleep with Frederick?
(This is no sly insinuation. I mean sleeping, and perhaps cuddling, and nothing else intended or done--because Frederick wouldn't do that. Though whether others in the party will know that and refrain from teasing Lotte, who knows?)
[] Yes.
[] No.
Where to next?
[] The university to the south, in a powerful duchy, used to deal in soul research. There might be researchers left, and it's said that the entire wing is haunted, or at least troubled, by what happened. It is not an entirely safe place, and there may be dangers and hidden secrets, but certainly it is also a learned place.
[] In the Blackbriar woods, it is said there is a witch. Many of the locals think she is maleficent, cruel and dangerous, while other visitors from outside speak of her beneficence, and her willingness for reasonable prices to aid others. All of them agree, however, that she is a Mistress of changes to both souls, bodies, and--some whisper with fear, others with excitement--minds.
[] There are rumors of a large beastfolk village in one of the largest forests in the region. The hints are very subtle, and as it was written five years ago, it might not still be there. But if it is, it is almost certain there are lamia, including priests who would no doubt know quite a lot about Lotte's soul… though of course she'd have to be very, very careful with who learns what, and a Beastfolk village might be as uncomfortable for the humans as… literally everywhere Lotte has ever been since the change has been for her.
XP Gains: 1 (Completing the adventure)+1 (Making a Friend)+.5 (Learning things)+.5 (Nachtmater Confrontation)=3 XP, so at 2/18, and Level Up to 3.
Choose 1 Racial or General Trait, 1 Class Trait, 2 Divine Traits (special one-time offer), 1 Level 0 or 1 Trait pickup from non-Divine categories
General Traits
Light Sleeper (General, Level 1): Perhaps you always were a light sleeper, or perhaps it is new development in the face of dangers and adventures, but you can wake up very easily at threatening sounds, and when roused you don't spend an hour groaning, insensible, and useless.
Hum It A Little (General, Level 1): You have a newfound appreciation for music, and you listen more closely to songs, and can even hold a tune… or at least hum a tune. It has no magical significance, but music is a universal language, and it relaxes you.
If You Turn It Sideways (General, Level 1): Lotte isn't a genius by any measure, but they did spend some time recently working their way through books, and while they didn't get everything, they have become a little better at drawing out at least some of the meaning that books hold.
The Price Of Everything (General, Level 2, Pre-Req: Penny Wise): You know what your services are worth, and even if you're not necessarily a great negotiator of your adventurer's reward, you have the knowledge to deal sharply in your own interests.
Loading and Unloading Only (General, Level 2): You've spent several weeks guarding merchant's caravans, and this experience means you've sometimes been asked to help out. It's helped develop your strength, and also your knowledge of how to fit things onto carts and how to get them off. Hey, if the whole adventurer thing doesn't work out…
Killer Instinct (General, Level 2): You don't like killing people, but having thought through it, and having considered everything, you're able to do it again without quite as much pain. Perhaps you've lost something, but at the same time, the life of an adventurer is violence, isn't it? And apparently you're good at it, or at least capable of it.
Adventurer's Eye (General, Level 3): It isn't much of a skill in one sense, but Lotte can sometimes tell when someone is an adventurer. It's not as simple as some sort of mark, and of course plenty of people can explore, but there are people who wear wanderlust as a perfume, and knowing who they are can be important.
Steel Nerves (General, Level 3): You've seen enough strange places and done enough fantastic things that you are less likely to panic in terrible situations, and more likely to think things through, however difficult. This doesn't mean you can't panic at all, but you have a grip on those nerves.
Racial Traits--Human/Lamia, Central Lands
Physical
Well-Built (Level 1, Human/Lamia, Physical): You were already pretty fit, but your experiences have given you plenty of practice. You are built to take hits and give them, built to work all the live-long day and still be standing at the end of it. You're not an Orime, but who is? Besides Orime.are not like you, either.
Slithering Speed (Level 2, Physical, Lamia): Learning how to move as a lamia is difficult, but once you figure it out you can move a lot faster than expected, even if your endurance isn't any greater than before.
Snake Eyes (Level 1, Physical, Lamia): You can see in the dark pretty well. It isn't perfect, but the night is not nearly so dark and full of dangers as you expected it would be, for whatever reason.
Taste Of The Air (Level 2, Physical, Lamia): You have quite an ability, though one still being drawn upon, to 'taste' the air in order to smell things that are more difficult to smell. Being a hunter, you have figured out immediately just how useful this could be to track animals or foes.
Iron Stomach (Level 1, Physical, Lamia): You are not quite immune to poison, but you can survive it… and in fact rotten food, a lot better than you could before you became a lamia.
Climbing Tail Stance (Level 3, Physical, Lamia, pre-req Steady Tail Stance): Ladders are still far beyond you, but it's possible to rise up as high as you can, wrap yourself around, say, a tree, and then use her hands to pull yourself up, before getting up. There are of course things it can't help one climb: buildings, ladders, but it's honestly a pretty cool thing to be able to do, even if the first time Lotte did it they were stranded on top of a tree with no idea how to get down.
Tail Whip (Level 3, Physical, Lamia): You have a long tail, and you're physically fit. Of course Lotte found it out in an accident that involved apologies, but if they move their tail fast enough, they can knock people over, and even batter them around.
Stone Stomach (Level 3, Physical, Lamia, Pre-req Iron Stomach): You're basically immune to poison, and it'd take really bad food to really feel it. There are a few well-known poisons that are exceptions, but even those you can build up a resistance to. In fact, poison tastes oddly… good to you, as if it's doing something important and good to be ingesting some of it, as long as it doesn't hurt you.
Cultural
That Old Time Religion (Level 1, Human--Central Lands, Cultural): After your experiences, you aren't necessarily content to just remember what you do about the religion, and you've been speaking earnestly with a number of priests, and having read--or even reading--more passages, on the various Gods and their nature.
Have A Drink? (Level 1, Human--Central Lands, Cultural): You have of course drank a little beer before, but those on the road have introduced you to the fine art and craft of getting rather drunk. You don't overindulge, but it can be nice, and you can hold your beer decently enough to join in on drunken songs and games, and otherwise fit in in a hard-drinking culture.
That Old Forgotten Religion (Level 1, Lamia -- Cultural): You know a few prayers now, and while anyone else would struggle with the secrecy of the cult, you also know some names. If you're willing to be brave, you could put those two together, and see what you can do. Maybe it would help if you met Lamia later, maybe it would just help you reach out to your… parent?
Rough and Rowdy (Level 3, Human-Central Lands, Cultural): Your people (well, they are of course now the sort ot view you as not them, but…) have a tendency to be blunt about things, even a little crude. While Lotte is perfectly polite, traveling up and down the Central Lands is certainly one way to get his ears and tongue used to coarser talk, and more aware of the possibilities therein.
Class Traits
A Balm To Ease (Level 0, Healing Priest): Lotte was reminded of what their mother had been teaching them about priestly magic. Lotte remembers very little, but with a bit of work they were able to touch someone and ease their pain somewhat. It was not an extraordinary ability, and an ill-practiced one, like a Mage casting sparkling light in terms of true skill, but it was more than nothing.
Way With Animals (Level 1): A skilled hunter knows the beasts, the birds, the creatures of the forests that they love. They know how not to make an enemy of a bear, and how to avoid hungry wolves. They know what it means when birds aren't singing, and they know how to, if not tame, then at least feed and gentle such animals.
Faithful Companion (Level 1): Lotte has come across a stray dog, and decided to rescue her and train her up a little. A dog's a person's best friend, and when trained up they can be a loyal hunting dog, willing to defend them from all sorts of dangers, and serve as a lookout.
Trapmaking Basics (Level 1): Traps are quite useful for a different sort of hunting. One can put together or take apart the kinds of bear traps, pit traps, and tripwires that were quite common in the forests of the central region, when one has cause to use them.
One On The Wing (Level 2): You've practiced shooting down birds. This doesn't necessarily pay off in some ways, but you are now a lot better at hitting fast-moving targets above your head, which might well be practice that can be used for other areas.
Tracker's Ways (Level 2): Your recent experiences have taught you how much you have to learn about tracking people or animals in the woods, and so you've redoubled your efforts, learning quite a bit about how you might track more difficult targets in the future.
Leave Few Traces (Level 2): The experience of being on one side of the hunt makes you wonder how you'd hide your tracks if you were being hunted, or tracked by hostile enemies, as sometimes does happen in adventures. You've begun to practice how not to be followed in the woods, and perhaps elsewhere.
Skinning (Level 3, Hunter): Lotte has figured out how to skin animals to preserve their hide, and has learned, through asking some questions of Karle, who has read a little of everything, how to do more with their kills than they were able to do well. This both provides an extra resource, and the hides themselves could be used for clothing or even winter armor.
One Nocked (Level 3, Hunter): You've gotten used to the idea that your hunting skills will also be used in battle, or else you'd not be so skilled. You can loose arrows with reasonable accuracy faster than before, sometimes even faster than your enemy can respond, if a fight suddenly breaks out, and if you're willing to panic and move as fast as you can, you can get some impressive speed, even if it harms the accuracy.
Woods Sense (Level 3, Hunter, pre-req: Leave Few Traces or Tracker's Way): You know the woods… not even your woods, but woods in general. You can get a sense for what's going on, where things are going, one that works at least for any woods even remotely similar to the ones you're used to. While you still might hesitate to go into the darker hearts of the woods, your abilities are remarkable in this regard.
Divine Traits
Lucid Dreams (Level 2, Divine): You can control your dreams, and more than that, on occasion you glimpse something beyond them, as if your mind is a bubble at the edge of reality, and beyond lie terrors, yes, but also wonders.
Captivating Eyes (Level 2, Divine): You can sometimes 'catch' people with your eyes. If you're concentrating, they'll find it slightly more difficult to look away, though any sense of threat or danger breaks it immediately, and they'll hear your words clearly, actually listening… or at least hearing them. There's no requirement to listen to them, nor does it seem as if anyone's mind is being altered in any way, but it's an interesting, if bizarre, power, and certainly is a new take on 'lost in their eyes.'
Nibbly Teeth (Level 2, Divine): You have fangs as well as teeth. Yes, they lack any of the poison of a snake, and while they no doubt hurt to be bit with, it seems more cosmetic… at least as far as Lotte can tell at the moment.
A Taste For Lies (Level 3, Divine): You sometimes have a feeling whenever Gods are lying. It's hard to describe, since it's far from simple and certainly not straightforward, but there's a flavor in the air when a God lies, though of course subtle or clever lies can escape that, and humans can lie to Lotte all the livelong day without being noticed. And of course, the Forgotten God is an accomplished liar, so it might not work on them either…
Slithering Shadows (Level 3, Divine): You can blend into the shadows better than you should be able to. At night, and in darker areas, you can seem to shift away from sight. It doesn't work well in a wide-open space, but that little bit of extra secrecy can be very useful as a hunter, and as someone who might need to sneak through various areas.
A Two Way Mirror (Level 3, Divine, pre-req: Captivating Eyes): When one looks into eyes, the mirror of the soul, you can look back. When they are caught by your eyes, you can see flashes of thoughts related to what's being talked about, or memories or emotions dredged up. These are just flashes, and you cannot dig deeper, willingly or unwillingly, into the mind of another, but even the ability to glimpse memories and know what they're feeling can be used to help them, understand them, or could even be used against them… though Lotte isn't sure how comfortable she is with the latter.
