117: Tonchinkan
Xorn
Master Procrastinator
- Location
- Somewhere I won't be able to rest in peace
117: Tonchinkan
I blink a few times as consciousness returns to me. The creaking of timbers and thudding of heavy rain against the upper deck are strangely soothing as my hammock rocks back and forth.
I feel well rested, for once. Alter Ego didn't appear in my dreams, and the nightmares have been held at bay by-
"Nob," a Mini-Nobbu says, staring at me with an unblinking eye.
"...Alright, Ichinobbu. you don't get to slack off anymore," I say with a sigh as I start to climb out of bed.
"Nob-nobbu! Nobbunobbunobnob!" The strange creature shouts angrily, pushing me from my bed.
I tumble clumsily onto the damp floor. "Oi, what the hell was that for, Ichinobbu!?"
"Actually, that one's Gonobbu," Nobunaga says from a nearby chair. She changed into a military uniform sometime yesterday, and now she's leaning on the back two legs of her seat, her feet propped up on a table - but actually, considering how the boat is swaying in the storm, shouldn't it be taking significant effort to keep the chair steady like that!? "Obviously she's gonna get upset if you mistake her for someone else."
"I don't want to hear that from the one that named them all after numbers!"
"Huh? I didn't do that, though. They're named after characters from Shonen Manga," The Archer says. "Nobbuto, Nobbusuke, Monkey D. Nobbu… I'm not hearing any numbers."
"It's not my fault the only ones I'd heard the names of sounded like numbers!" I protest. "Also, why does Monkey D. Nobbu get a full name?"
"Hm? Since we're in a pirate singularity, obviously," She says.
A brief moment of silence follows. The ship leans a bit to port, and I see a single drop of sweat roll down the brow of the Fool of Owari as she tries to hold her idiotic pose.
"...I'm kind of impressed by the grip strength of your boots," I admit.
"Heh… the real impressive part is keeping my feet in my shoes," She admits.
"...They're nailed to the table, aren't they?"
"Please help me. I thought it would look cool and didn't really think things through."
***
"Alright, let the daily meeting of the threestrategists commence!" Nobbu says, slamming a squeaky mallet she got from… somewhere… on the table.
"Do we really need to do this every day…?" Asks Jason with a groan. Naturally, he goes completely ignored.
"To summarize things so far," I say. "We need to secure four major Leylines in order for Cu Chulainn to steal the Odin portion of Alter Ego's spirit origin and trigger his collapse. Of course, he's not likely to allow us to get away with that, but him committing to a fight while Heracles is occupied is basically a guaranteed win. We've secured the first two without issue, and are on our way to the third."
…Of course, from there my only real hope is that Benkei's [Pilgrimage of the Five Hundred Arhat] can actually bypass Alter Ego's ability to [Return by Death] and get rid of him for good. If that doesn't work… do I even have a win condition here?
"Wait, you say without issue, but didn't we have a fight on the first island?" Jason asks - yeah, to be honest I was expecting that to be a pattern, but nobody showed up on the second island.
"You mean that guy with the axe screaming about blood? He pretty much died instantly, so who cares?" says Nobunaga.
"Who was he, anyway?" I ask. "I get that he attacked first, but if we lost another important ally…"
"Nah, I've never seen him before," Says Nobunaga. "I doubt a guy like that is a good match with you, anyway, Subaru. You're not Fujimaru Ritsuka, so compatibility is something you need to consider."
Fujimaru Ritsuka.
It's not the first time she's mentioned his name - the last master of humanity, in the Chaldea Nobunaga was summoned from. The strange way that the name tingles my consciousness aside, I don't really know what to make of such a guy.
Zelretch had mentioned that the ideal savior of humanity would be a 'perfectly average human', and I didn't really understand what he meant at the time. But, hearing about him from Nobunaga, I can't really decide how I feel about him - the idea of someone who accepts all the heroes of humanity without judgment - isn't that superhuman in itself? Is he God? The Buddha? I can't really decide whether it's admirable or obscene.
…But to be honest, a person who simply accepted me without judging or worrying unnecessarily, would definitely be soothing to be around. The closest thing I ever had was-
(A smiling girl with blue hair covering one eye flashes through my mind for a moment.)
…Yeah. I can understand how a person like that, if he existed, could maintain such an obscene number of contracts.
"Putting aside talk about people who may or may not exist," says Jason, rolling his eyes, "the end result is that we haven't had any major obstacles since we picked up Benkei a couple days ago. As long as Heracles is still busy, there's not a serious problem - the only question is, 'when is he going to finish fighting Reid Astrea?'"
"There's also our saboteurs to consider," Nobunaga points out. "We've mostly been able to stop them since the first encounter, but we do need to keep an eye out for any kind of trump card that their boss might pull."
"Yeah. I don't know if it's safe to say his true name, so I've been sticking to calling him the [Evil God of the Reef], but you guys can put the pieces together, right?" I ask, and receive two nods.
"I can put it together - in any case, that guy's a Divine Spirit, so he's probably no pushover, and depending on what kind of authorities he can throw around, he might give Benkei and me a little trouble," says Nobunaga.
"But would you lose?" I ask.
"Nah, we'd win."
"That's great and all, but did you forget that my [Argo] is super weak in this spirit origin?" Jason asks. Like we could with this guy complaining as much as he has been. "I'm not saying you'd lose, but I don't think our boat survives a direct confrontation with a guy like that - and don't go thinking we can escape either, we're still at ten percent of my normal speed."
"Of course, I asked the others, and Georgios mentioned there's some Biblical anecdote about his idol getting damaged by proximity to the Jewish Ark of the Covenant. I don't know where the thing is right now, but it's present in this singularity. Medea made up some yarn about sacrificing Euryale on it giving me immortality and all, so..."
"Got anything more specific than 'around here somewhere?'" I ask. That might be all Alter Ego would need, the maniac, but I've got no intention to run around frantically on nothing but a rumor. "I guess we can look for an island protected from the rain?"
"Eh, we'll probably run into it at some point. These things tend to work out like that," Nobunaga says with a shrug.
"I don't know what kind of luck Fujimaru has, but it's got to be way better than mine," I sigh, "Well, even if we do find the thing, he'll probably just fight us directly before we can reach it."
{Hey, kid, we're getting close,} Cu Chulainn's voice echoes in my head.
"Looks like that's about it for today," I say. "Any objections to continuing our current course?"
"...Just one," Jason says. "I've gotta repeat this for emphasis - we're absolutely on borrowed time right now. I know you said that Reid Astrea was a big deal, but I can't believe that facing down Heracles is something he can just keep going indefinitely. They've been at it for two days at this point - that fight has to end, one way or another, and I think the auspicious time would be tonight."
He rubs his eyes and slouches into his chair a bit more. "The rain wasn't always going this hard - it only started a day before you got here, around the time Alter Ego made his first appearance. I guess your [Evil God] has cursed you and him, or something. But to get back to the topic - I tried to navigate by the stars for a little bit, before the rain rolled in - if I'm not wrong, tonight will be when [Hercules] is most visible."
…Come to think of it, the guy does have his own constellation, doesn't he? And for that matter- "What about [Argo Navis]? Is it visible in this Singularity?" I can't help but ask.
"Yeah. The sky's a bit messed up, since this place embodies 'all oceans', but I was able to pick it out," Jason replies. "Why?"
"Ah… I was just curious, really," I give a nervous laugh, but it's interrupted by loud shouting from outside the ship as we begin to slow.
"I appreciate you arriving to rescue me, but aren't you late!?" A strangely familiar voice shouts above the rain from the vague direction of the shoreline. "I had to sleep outside last night, isn't that completely inconsiderate of you!? Don't you know that if you're going to help someone it's better to help them as soon as possible!? Isn't this an infringement of my rights-!?"
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!
I scramble up rain-slick steps to the upper deck in utter panic, falling, skinning my hands slightly, but that's not important because-
I recognize that fucking voice!
"SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM!" I scream in desperation, even as I arrive to see an all-too-familiar white-haired man, drenched with rain.
"-YOU!?" Shouts Regulus Corneas, Witch Cult Archbishop of Greed, as he locks eyes with me-
-and then his head jerks back as a matchlock rifle discharges, scattering his brains across the sand behind him.
A moment later, he crumbles into golden dust.
"...Huh?" I mutter.
Wasn't that too easy? Did he just… not have his [Lion's Heart] active at that moment?
"...Pffft," I can't help it. It was just too pathetic. "Pfffthahahaha!"
…But man, these leyline islands sure have been- no, wait, let's not raise any flags.
I blink a few times as consciousness returns to me. The creaking of timbers and thudding of heavy rain against the upper deck are strangely soothing as my hammock rocks back and forth.
I feel well rested, for once. Alter Ego didn't appear in my dreams, and the nightmares have been held at bay by-
"Nob," a Mini-Nobbu says, staring at me with an unblinking eye.
"...Alright, Ichinobbu. you don't get to slack off anymore," I say with a sigh as I start to climb out of bed.
"Nob-nobbu! Nobbunobbunobnob!" The strange creature shouts angrily, pushing me from my bed.
I tumble clumsily onto the damp floor. "Oi, what the hell was that for, Ichinobbu!?"
"Actually, that one's Gonobbu," Nobunaga says from a nearby chair. She changed into a military uniform sometime yesterday, and now she's leaning on the back two legs of her seat, her feet propped up on a table - but actually, considering how the boat is swaying in the storm, shouldn't it be taking significant effort to keep the chair steady like that!? "Obviously she's gonna get upset if you mistake her for someone else."
"I don't want to hear that from the one that named them all after numbers!"
"Huh? I didn't do that, though. They're named after characters from Shonen Manga," The Archer says. "Nobbuto, Nobbusuke, Monkey D. Nobbu… I'm not hearing any numbers."
"It's not my fault the only ones I'd heard the names of sounded like numbers!" I protest. "Also, why does Monkey D. Nobbu get a full name?"
"Hm? Since we're in a pirate singularity, obviously," She says.
A brief moment of silence follows. The ship leans a bit to port, and I see a single drop of sweat roll down the brow of the Fool of Owari as she tries to hold her idiotic pose.
"...I'm kind of impressed by the grip strength of your boots," I admit.
"Heh… the real impressive part is keeping my feet in my shoes," She admits.
"...They're nailed to the table, aren't they?"
"Please help me. I thought it would look cool and didn't really think things through."
***
"Alright, let the daily meeting of the three
"Do we really need to do this every day…?" Asks Jason with a groan. Naturally, he goes completely ignored.
"To summarize things so far," I say. "We need to secure four major Leylines in order for Cu Chulainn to steal the Odin portion of Alter Ego's spirit origin and trigger his collapse. Of course, he's not likely to allow us to get away with that, but him committing to a fight while Heracles is occupied is basically a guaranteed win. We've secured the first two without issue, and are on our way to the third."
…Of course, from there my only real hope is that Benkei's [Pilgrimage of the Five Hundred Arhat] can actually bypass Alter Ego's ability to [Return by Death] and get rid of him for good. If that doesn't work… do I even have a win condition here?
"Wait, you say without issue, but didn't we have a fight on the first island?" Jason asks - yeah, to be honest I was expecting that to be a pattern, but nobody showed up on the second island.
"You mean that guy with the axe screaming about blood? He pretty much died instantly, so who cares?" says Nobunaga.
"Who was he, anyway?" I ask. "I get that he attacked first, but if we lost another important ally…"
"Nah, I've never seen him before," Says Nobunaga. "I doubt a guy like that is a good match with you, anyway, Subaru. You're not Fujimaru Ritsuka, so compatibility is something you need to consider."
Fujimaru Ritsuka.
It's not the first time she's mentioned his name - the last master of humanity, in the Chaldea Nobunaga was summoned from. The strange way that the name tingles my consciousness aside, I don't really know what to make of such a guy.
Zelretch had mentioned that the ideal savior of humanity would be a 'perfectly average human', and I didn't really understand what he meant at the time. But, hearing about him from Nobunaga, I can't really decide how I feel about him - the idea of someone who accepts all the heroes of humanity without judgment - isn't that superhuman in itself? Is he God? The Buddha? I can't really decide whether it's admirable or obscene.
…But to be honest, a person who simply accepted me without judging or worrying unnecessarily, would definitely be soothing to be around. The closest thing I ever had was-
(A smiling girl with blue hair covering one eye flashes through my mind for a moment.)
…Yeah. I can understand how a person like that, if he existed, could maintain such an obscene number of contracts.
"Putting aside talk about people who may or may not exist," says Jason, rolling his eyes, "the end result is that we haven't had any major obstacles since we picked up Benkei a couple days ago. As long as Heracles is still busy, there's not a serious problem - the only question is, 'when is he going to finish fighting Reid Astrea?'"
"There's also our saboteurs to consider," Nobunaga points out. "We've mostly been able to stop them since the first encounter, but we do need to keep an eye out for any kind of trump card that their boss might pull."
"Yeah. I don't know if it's safe to say his true name, so I've been sticking to calling him the [Evil God of the Reef], but you guys can put the pieces together, right?" I ask, and receive two nods.
"I can put it together - in any case, that guy's a Divine Spirit, so he's probably no pushover, and depending on what kind of authorities he can throw around, he might give Benkei and me a little trouble," says Nobunaga.
"But would you lose?" I ask.
"Nah, we'd win."
"That's great and all, but did you forget that my [Argo] is super weak in this spirit origin?" Jason asks. Like we could with this guy complaining as much as he has been. "I'm not saying you'd lose, but I don't think our boat survives a direct confrontation with a guy like that - and don't go thinking we can escape either, we're still at ten percent of my normal speed."
"Of course, I asked the others, and Georgios mentioned there's some Biblical anecdote about his idol getting damaged by proximity to the Jewish Ark of the Covenant. I don't know where the thing is right now, but it's present in this singularity. Medea made up some yarn about sacrificing Euryale on it giving me immortality and all, so..."
"Got anything more specific than 'around here somewhere?'" I ask. That might be all Alter Ego would need, the maniac, but I've got no intention to run around frantically on nothing but a rumor. "I guess we can look for an island protected from the rain?"
"Eh, we'll probably run into it at some point. These things tend to work out like that," Nobunaga says with a shrug.
"I don't know what kind of luck Fujimaru has, but it's got to be way better than mine," I sigh, "Well, even if we do find the thing, he'll probably just fight us directly before we can reach it."
{Hey, kid, we're getting close,} Cu Chulainn's voice echoes in my head.
"Looks like that's about it for today," I say. "Any objections to continuing our current course?"
"...Just one," Jason says. "I've gotta repeat this for emphasis - we're absolutely on borrowed time right now. I know you said that Reid Astrea was a big deal, but I can't believe that facing down Heracles is something he can just keep going indefinitely. They've been at it for two days at this point - that fight has to end, one way or another, and I think the auspicious time would be tonight."
He rubs his eyes and slouches into his chair a bit more. "The rain wasn't always going this hard - it only started a day before you got here, around the time Alter Ego made his first appearance. I guess your [Evil God] has cursed you and him, or something. But to get back to the topic - I tried to navigate by the stars for a little bit, before the rain rolled in - if I'm not wrong, tonight will be when [Hercules] is most visible."
…Come to think of it, the guy does have his own constellation, doesn't he? And for that matter- "What about [Argo Navis]? Is it visible in this Singularity?" I can't help but ask.
"Yeah. The sky's a bit messed up, since this place embodies 'all oceans', but I was able to pick it out," Jason replies. "Why?"
"Ah… I was just curious, really," I give a nervous laugh, but it's interrupted by loud shouting from outside the ship as we begin to slow.
"I appreciate you arriving to rescue me, but aren't you late!?" A strangely familiar voice shouts above the rain from the vague direction of the shoreline. "I had to sleep outside last night, isn't that completely inconsiderate of you!? Don't you know that if you're going to help someone it's better to help them as soon as possible!? Isn't this an infringement of my rights-!?"
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!
I scramble up rain-slick steps to the upper deck in utter panic, falling, skinning my hands slightly, but that's not important because-
I recognize that fucking voice!
"SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM!" I scream in desperation, even as I arrive to see an all-too-familiar white-haired man, drenched with rain.
"-YOU!?" Shouts Regulus Corneas, Witch Cult Archbishop of Greed, as he locks eyes with me-
-and then his head jerks back as a matchlock rifle discharges, scattering his brains across the sand behind him.
A moment later, he crumbles into golden dust.
"...Huh?" I mutter.
Wasn't that too easy? Did he just… not have his [Lion's Heart] active at that moment?
"...Pffft," I can't help it. It was just too pathetic. "Pfffthahahaha!"
…But man, these leyline islands sure have been- no, wait, let's not raise any flags.
