Turn 12 Results--The Gut Barge, Part 2
Argrush knew that many of the non-Ogres struggled to tell Ogres apart. Yes, he and Zungrus had different hair-styles, but Skaven did not tend to understand hair all that well. But they could understand that Argrush's skin was close to that of the Empire, whereas the skin of some Ogres, for reasons he did not understand, were closer to that of Cathay, and others still as gray as the mountains. It was not breeding, of that he was quite sure of. Perhaps you were what you ate? But he didn't remember eating that many people in the Empire, because as hungry as he had been, doing that sort of thing was a good way to wind up a dead Ogre mercenary of sorts.
Either way, Zungrus was Gray. Shorter than him. Not that much less fat, though, and he had solid bones, good strength. It would be easier if Zungrus was weak and cowardly and lacking in the virtues prized by Ogres. But he wasn't. He was clever and also strong and also vicious and more. "Hey, tinyfinger!" Zungrus bellowed out as he stomped in, looking at Argrush from his chair. "You wanted to talk to me?"
He didn't approve of the fact that the Gut Barges took only a single finger. He would insist on it being to the death, and it was pride as much as anything. Argrush wasn't going to give him a death if he won. He wasn't going to be making exceptions, cause he knew what that ended in. If he lost after Zungrus, he wanted to have a good excuse to not die. Though he was sure the others weren't anything to yell about.
"Wanted t'see if you were ready?" Argrush asked. "Cause I know you're missing your dam, an' her all alone when all doze other bucks are sniffin' around her." And some were, always. Female Ogres could look after themselves, but this sometimes meant ditching someone too weak for someone bigger, fatter, stronger, and more vicious. Or doing without the men at all, or without anyone at all. Ogre women were no less strong than the men, something shared with Skaven but apparently not with humans? Not that there weren't as many as smart or as clever or as good in a fight, but apparently there were weird differences in their bodies, sometimes. Sometimes not?
It was all enough to be quite confusing, and make one long for the simplicity of Orcs, who were Orcs. "An' dat's all they gonna do," Zungrus said. "She knows 'er own mind, an' she'll fuckin' eat anyone who doesn't know it." There was fondness there.
Zungrus probably actually liked her. All of his vices were the virtues of their kind. But that didn't mean he wasn't suspicious.
"An' dat's you, bout to be ninefingers?" Argrush asked with a laugh. "Nine-fingers, how'd you hold the mug like dat?" It was best to talk in his language, to speak as Zungrus did, as Ogres did, rather than in Mid-Queekish. He'd been learning it, slowly but surely, but it was going to take a while before it mattered. "An' how you gonna fuck her when your cock's as soft as your brain."
"Fuckin' softgut!" Zungrus yelled back, storming at him. But Argrush had his gut-plate on and bounced him back, rising.
"Softgut versus softcock, the fight a'the century, eh? Yew all up here not even foighten 'gainst the Gobbos, an' me gettin' injured winnin' a battle," Argrush said, letting the words slip, letting the accent come in, letting himself think and feel and act like he had for most of his life. He couldn't feel the hunger as bad, he really couldn't, but in a moment like that there was something just as powerful as that hunger.
"Wuz busy, not busy 'nuff to kick yew in!"
"While yer busy getin' whupped, an diz dere foit you tryin'ta cheat, dat Chitterin'tongue's no doubt fuckin' her, cuz even e's more of a warrior than sum two-bit coward. Prolly fuckin' er and an 'Elf for 'er snack, cuz…"
"'E wouldn't dare!"
He probably wouldn't. As far as Argrush knew, while there were rumors that Chittertongue the Aledancer had had sex with an elf, he'd never managed a Dwarf and as far as he could tell, hadn't managed an Ogre either. Or the Greenskins, or the Lizardfolk. Or the dragon, but even Chittertongue couldn't have wanted to woo a dragon. Though as far as Argrush knew, Chittertongue probably had tried with half those choices because that's the weird sort of guy he was. And he'd had basically everything else, Halflings included.
(Somewhere far off, in the middle of a stress-related rat-pit orgy, Chittertongue held in a sneeze and returned to licking, swallowing the sneeze as best he could so as to not get in the way of the complex tangling of tails going on here.)
"Yew ain't nothin' enough to scare even a single lil' Rattie, you coward-thing!" he said, aware he was using the Skaven speak a little, but barging in on him, pushing him back. "Cuz yer wrong about what to be 'fraid of. Andratse could kill yew in one blow, an' I'll gut barge you right outta bounds an' unti;l yer crying!"
"I'll kill you! I'll eat you! Flesh, bones, and gristle! I'll grind your bones to make my bread, I'll eat your eats and call 'em soup! I'll drink yer blood and make a meal a you!"
"Sorry, yew ain't a big enough warrior for me to fuck, less you wanna slim down, go onna diet and start prancin' around," Argrush said, aware that by this point he was just making up the stupidest thing. A diet? He might as well just call his dam a worthless woman. No Ogre ever went on a diet. Not even a diet of worms or whatever it was that they called a meeting. "Maybe 'den some big strong Ogre will--"
Zungrus leapt at him, and Argrush leaned forward and gut-barged him back. "Yew down to fight?" It annoyed him, talkin' like this. It felt real and not real at the same time, all the nonsense and posturing and dick-measuring and gut measuring, cause he knew it's how he got in charge but he ain't sure it's worth anything.
"Not like you!" Zungrus shouted. "You sold the Ogres to the Skaven, you betrayed our people when we coulda conquered 'em and had 'em as our slaves! We's stronger than them."
Stronger? Yes. Strong enough to beat all of 'em if the Greenskins had resisted? Maybe, maybe not, but it'd lead to the whole thing collapsing. It's like the Beastfolk leaving, cause they thought the same thing but were more willing to just leave. Everyone agreed to pretend that this couldn't fall apart, and he wasn't about to open it up again. But. "I am, maybe," he said, and he drops some of the old accent. "You, though? You'd eat all the farmers an' be confused when we all starve. Yer hungry in the stupidest way, an that when you're clever and--"
"I'll kill you tomorrow! I challenge you! I challenge you!" he shouted.
"Sure, first thing tomorrow," Argrush said.
And Zungrus paused and then yelled affirmation and threats, and didn't even think about the fact that he had an entire plan. An entire scheme.
He was going to fight first.
Now Argrush had to make sure he'd lose, or else he'd make Agrush's job painful. It… felt bad though, he had to admit. All this low slander, when he was sure the dam was just busy doing ordinary things, being ambitious and big and dangerous. When he was sure he was spewing nonsense just to make him angry.
He also probably had just gotten Chittertongue killed if Zungrus wins, and maybe even if he didn't. So… he was not sure what to do with that.
He'd have to talk to someone about the fact that if Zungrus survived he'd probably go after the Aledancer.
But, what's the strategy for tomorrow?
[] [Tactic] Cannoballcatcher: He's very good at taking a blow and then pushing back, so he'll focus on the defensive and wear them out before sending them crashing to the ground.
[] [Tactic] Linebreaker: He's good at charging, very good at it, so that's what he's going to do. He's going to charge, go on the offensive and fight.
[] [Tactic] Daemonthumpa: The Gut-Barge is usually thought of as gut-only, but grabs are also allowed and the rules are… loose. Grab and grapple for the win, and hope that the gut can still show the way.
[] [Tactic] Write-in, subject to strict veto, try to use one of the Great Names if you can.
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A/N: So, Ogres! Ogres Ogres Ogres!