So this series has an almost-inexcusable general lack of fan content outside of art, and I think that's a crying shame. I mean, yes, this series has never really managed or even tried to move its overall stories out of Excuse Plot territory, but it's got a pretty funny main cast and they deserve more than the piddly sub-100 fanfics they currently have. So here's something I've been cooking up over the course of today.
Epic Battle Fantasy Quest
The world is in danger, from… some threat or another. And you're gonna save it! So grab your swords, your staves, your guns, bows, and party members, and set off for your destiny!
Take control of one of the Epic Battle Fantasy series' Players and embark on a journey through a fantasy kitchen sink world full of anachronisms, parodies, cats, and other assorted JRPG nonsense. Choose your character, find the other Players, and go kill God! Or whoever else it might be that's endangering the world.
So! With the introductory spiel out of the way, let's get down to business. First off, your name is…
-[] Matt.
You like swords. You really, REALLY like swords. You also like pirates, and video games, but that kinda comes with the territory, living in Hope Harbor and all. Alone. Though you've actually been doing pretty well for yourself, considering you can afford to spend half your days cooped inside, gaming away. You're new to this whole quest thing, but you've practiced with your hockey stick enough over the years that you can pull off a classical multislash Limit Break, and you know your status effects like the back of your hand, you think, so hopefully you'll do the posters proud! …as long as they let you do your fair share of looti- er,
appropriating, yeah, that's the word. It's not kleptomania if it's for a good cause!
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Magic Knight playstyle. Buff yourself up with support spells, then hit the foes as hard as you can until they stop moving!
—Boatloads of HP, strength, and defense.
—Not so good with magic or resistance, and you've got some accuracy issues on top of being average at dodging.
—Big single-target burst damage, but few worthwhile AoE options. You'll have to content yourself with one-shotting foes one at a time. You also don't really have the brainpower for fancy tricks, so stuff like status effects or debuffs are best left for other people.
—Starting Gear: Hobo's Clothes, Captain's Hat, Ultra Pro 9000X
-[] Natalie.
You're a mage. You've got the degree to prove it, too! You'd honestly rather be studying for a Master's, but you got caught doing something a little, uh… w-well, suffice to say that you should probably stay out of Uni for a while, until the place forgets you and you can start fresh. But until then, you're game for a little adventure! You've got the classic fire-ice-thunder elemental trio covered, and your teachers said you had some monstrous potential at Light and Dark magic, not to mention you're a pretty good healer on top of all that, so you should be golden for anything the world can throw at you! …as long as it isn't a bunch of idiots staring at your 'assets.'
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Omni-Mage playstyle. Toss spells of every element under the sun at your foes, and chug their tears when you erase any harm they deal to you!
—Amazing magic and resistance.
—Awful strength and defense, and poor HP. You don't exactly work out much.
—Once you get going, it'll be all AoEs, all the time, baby. Maybe they don't do as much damage as dedicated single-target stuff, and your abilities in that area aren't the greatest, but who cares when you're guaranteed to have at least one spell for every foe's elemental weakness?
—Starting Gear: Red Dress, Red Ribbon, Dark Tooth
-[] Lance.
You're the smartest soldier alive, and anyone who says otherwise is just another Godcat-damned dumbass. Who's the guy with the gunblade? You are. Who's the youngest officer in Redpine Town's history? You are. Who's the guy that designed the Valkyrie Tank, the single greatest battle implement ever devised (suck it, Patton!)? That's right: YOU. And when you finally manage to scrounge up enough money, materials, and time to actually build the thing, and your air support, and your orbital Ion Cannon, and your bitchin' Iron Fortress, you'll be on top of the freakin' world. And then everyone will finally have no choice but to listen to you when you tell them that the end of everything is right around the corner, which they would've
noticed if they actually opened their eyes for once in their worthless lives-
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Gunner playstyle. Blast your foes away with unmatched technological superiority, cycling through bullets, bombs, and blades to give everything time to cool off.
—Unmatched accuracy, solid magic, and above average strength.
—Awful evasion, middling defense and resistance. Fights in Redpine usually come down to who's the better shooter, so the best defense is either a good offense or superior positioning.
—Your tech not only hits incredibly hard, but also tends to weaken your foes, too. And some of your single-target stuff is so good that it hits everything else while it's at it! Of course, you do have to use your stuff carefully and sparingly to make sure you don't outpace your natural ammo production or overheat anything, but you're more than smart enough to make that a non-issue. Certainly.
—Starting Gear: Officer's Coat, Officer's Hat, Shadow Blaster
-[] Anna.
With your ripped back muscles, druid-flavored spells, healing skills, and outstanding capture record, you're by far the best hunter Greenwood Village has to offer—and the cutest to boot. When you're not filling the larders of your neighbors, friends, and family, you're chopping down firewood, carving idols, or engaging in every teenager's favorite pastime: video games! …what? Hey, just because Greenwood's always been poor and rural doesn't mean it's full of savages! Honestly, some people. But you doubt you'll have any time for that soon—the elders have been saying that a great calamity is approaching, and seeing as you're at the top of the local food chain, they figure you're the ideal candidate to put who or whatever's causing it out to pasture. It's not all bad, though; you'll at least get some time away from your overbearing parents and their insistence on you finding a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. They don't judge, apparently. Joke's on them, you just have chronic breast envy syndrome. Yup. That's it for sure. Definitely.
-
Ranger playstyle. Summon Mother Nature's attendants to bog down foes with enough status effects to fill a dictionary, then move in for the kill.
—Jack-of-all-stats. Solid across the board, but leaning towards strength and with better evasion than most. Can't have any obvious weak spots if you wanna survive in the forest, after all!
—Your spells and elemental arrows allow you to inflict a variety of status effects on foes, and you know how to leave them vulnerable to being captured. You can also heal pretty well, if only a single person at a time. Outside of that, though, you don't exactly have much in the way of support, save for perhaps your log spell's penchant for leaving foes off-balance and vulnerable to critical hits.
—Starting Gear: Ranger Skirt, Amber Bauble, Fairy Bow
-[] NoLegs.
You are a cat. A limbless cat, just like all the other cats in the world. Well, except for Meow Meow, the lucky bastard. And Godcat, but, y'know, they're Godcat. You used to be part of the militia when you still lived in the Kitten Kingdom, but then they found out that you were kind of stealing a whole bunch of stuff and using your position as a cover, so you've mostly been keeping your distance these days, wandering wherever there's good food and good sunbathing spots. This whole adventure to save the world thing sounds a little bit big for your non-existent britches, but if it gets you a few humans who're willing to bow down to your glorious countenance and pull their weight in a fight
and maybe make up for the affection you've been denied your entire life, you think you can deal.
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Rogue playstyle. Unleash lightning-fast sword strikes upon whatever foe gets in your way, and use the openings you gain from landing killing blows to dish out even more pain!
—Godlike evasion. You're the fastest thing alive. Pretty good resistance too, along with solid strength and magic.
—Abysmal HP and defense. Pray you're fast enough to dodge
everything, or you'll go down lickety-split.
—Single-target multihits are the name of your game; specifically, the kind that let you share the love if your initial target goes down mid-combo. If you're faced with a group of weaklings, a single chain could possibly wipe them all out, but if you have the misfortune to go up against a pair of big boys, you're probably in trouble. Then again, you've also got nine lives, and those are the kind of things that prospective party members would really love you for if you shared them.
—Starting Gear: Heroic Armor, Knight's Helmet, Steel Buckler
If the phrasing didn't already make it clear, this quest would have a very similar tone to its source material, bring a generally-goofy lighthearted romp across a planet that looks like a horribly lopsided game of off-brand fantasy Civilization. That isn't to say it won't have serious moments, of course, but they'll be reserved for times of Importance and will generally be few and far between.
