Dream a little dream for me...
- Location
- Here
John was an onion.
Also, probably asleep: But yes. An onion.
It wasn't a bad life, to be fair. Mostly just drinking up the liquids, enjoying some sunlight, all that.
And he probably shouldn't be able to Pocket the various bugs and animals and stuff that wanted to eat him, as that wasn't something an onion could do…
But that was a problem for OTHER onions, not John Doe the onion!
So with various critters, animals, and a very confused Farmer safely stored away in his dream Pocket, John proceeded to focus on the one goal ALL true onions strove towards: Growing.
…It wasn't exactly an IMPOSSIBLE desire, nor difficult, but you'd be surprised at how many onions out there fail at something so basic! Many end up rotting or being flooded or dug up or consumed.
So the years drifted by, and John the onion grew… Oddly.
Because growing UP wasn't a good idea, that would get you eaten.
And growing DOWN eventually got more and more tricky as well.
So he was going wide.
John was slowly becoming a very fat onion.
…By popular opinion, an evil CURSED fat onion.
You'd think the farmer (And the thirty or so people that eventually came looking for the missing guy) would be GRATEFUL to all be released and left to wander their way home! Right?
The animals seemed happy enough, once they were done freaking out and running away and stuff.
And the bugs went missing at some point, which confused John the onion significantly.
Thankfully some dream frog came by and explained that there were a whole bunch of OTHER frogs that were also sort-of-basically-dreams-but-not-really, so that was one mystery solved!
Yep, that's John! The evil cursed fat onion detective! Whenever a mystery can be found, just bring it over to the abandoned farm on 'cursed' land and explain your woes to the very fat onion that has been decimating the dream insect population through aggressive Pocket collection!
…To be brutally honest though, John didn't get many customers for his budding detective service.
Which was fine, because he was TOATS busy with the growing thing. Still going horizontal, even if he HAD gotten distracted for a few months and accidentally grew tall enough to tower over the local ruins of the abandoned farmstead.
Growing was serious business, and John was a serious evil cursed fat and tall onion detective!
No pranks or jokes here, no sir! It was just him, the warm soil (It was cold for a while when the snow fell for a few months), the bright sunshine (When it wasn't raining or snowing and stuff), and his growing neighborhood of amphibian dreamers.
…Alright, he was now so large that the trees weren't providing enough wind protection. If this continued, it would just get silly. Pocket, if you would?
[[Confirmed. Emptying Pocket of all Dream based materials. Awakening HOST.]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
John thelegendary demonic mountainous onion detective abomination, rule of the blight lands younger brother and beloved boyfriend and accidental Frog Emperor stretched and yawned his way to… Nope, still sleepy. "What time is it?"
[[In twelve minutes, User Jessica will be notifying HOST that Lunch will be served.]]
Oh! He was feeling a bit peckish. "I slept through breakfast, huh?"
[[HOST has slept for three days, five hours, and twenty two minutes. User Grace determined this was a required adjustment period for John to adapt to his new defensive and energy redirection modules.]]
…Huh? Well then! "No WONDER I'm hungry! I've missed a LOT of meals recently!"
Happily humming some tunes, he bounced his way towards the kitchen… Hey! "Good morning, everyone! Or I guess it's like noon or something, so maybe I should GAH!"
His sister grinned down at his situation, with Grace and Temptation having tackled him to the carpet with hugs. "Good morning, little bro. Feeling better?"
…He couldn't really talk all squished like this, and his right arm was restricted, but John managed to give a thumbs up with his one free limb.
She hummed. "Good. Both Grace and the System said you were doing alright, but you were down for the count for a long time there."
Hey! Watch those hands, darn it! EEP!
Jessica went back to looking over her paperwork at the table, taking a bite from what he could only assume was toast from the sound. It was hard to see clearly with this much hair and two giggling people in the way. "Mmm… Anyway, I think your overly long interview got us all classified as some sort of extinction level event in humanoid form. We've been terrifying even the nicest of people just walking down the street, and even though they TRY to be polite about it all I think we are giving people miniature heart attacks every time someone spills something or whatever."
Wait, what? "Mrmm?" Ptah, hair. "What?"
She nodded. "Aside from the staff and our case worker, Samantha, everyone else has been treating us like we are radioactive. But in a very polite and 'please do not kill us' way, not being insulting or acting derogatory or anything like that. We've also collected all sorts of interesting information that have been stored in many helpful data packages, all promptly gathered and delivered as fast as they could conceivable provide them."
…Probably with an undercurrent of 'We gave you want you want, do not hurt us', John assumed.
Shit. "What did I say that set all this off? Or did I do something…?"
His sister sighed. "Adjusting the Pocket modules, specifically the many redesigns of some of the security focused ones? Well, it lets some things slip in the process. Not to mention the broken bits of you that we were trying to gather together and patch up that caused all the leaking issues in the first place."
John felt Grace winced against him, and he hugged her a bit tighter. "And I guess Ninjor noticed something while we were testing out potential short term patches using his Morphin Grid medallion prototypes. Crud."
Jessica took another bite. "Nom… Anyway, this was apparently the first large scale security overhaul that you've undergone since we first escaped that very first assassination attempt back in my Realm. Since we kept finding so many issues even AFTER you passed out that needed to be corrected as soon as possible… Well, the girls decided it was best to just do a complete review of the entire mountain of cludges and workarounds your System used to try and keep you going."
Which made sense, since Grace was considered his Pocket System's 'Domestic Administrator' and Temptation acted as his 'Ambassador'... Slash assassin, infiltration mistress, counter assault specialist, and all that jazz.
Huh. Maybe this was why he felt so amazing right now? "Well, I guess this WAS the first time I had been bothering to do a full medical checkup since those surgeries to stabilize me way back when I was found… And not everything I had done to 'stabilize' my new self had exactly been done all at once, or been planned, not to mention the stuff I sort of altered on the fly or adjusted in real time."
The white beauty hugged a bit tighter as his sister nodded. "Exactly. The NEW security modules, in fact MOST of your System modules, have been organized and reviewed and fine tuned. Everything we did was documented of course, but I'm hoping this will drastically reduce the time it takes you to recover, or at least keep you safe if we need to adjust something so important in the future."
Temptation rubbed her cheek against his. "I grabbed all the bits of Master that were considered destroyed or too compromised and all that and have been getting them documented and recycled, or at least grouped together in a more stable way that has reduced that 'bleeding' effect that got us all detected in the first place… And I already deployed the new hardware that converts the uncontrollable excess power and material into 'Candy' for Morphy the Morphin Grid."
Grace leaned her head against his other shoulder. "Sigh… I'm still adjusting the various clusters of modules to allow adding, editing, and removing specific nodes without causing the entire cluster to expose critical data like it did this time, my Lord. There may be issues eventually when some new energy type or sensing method is discovered, but I'm hoping that my new alterations won't ALSO expose old topics to outsiders when we work on those."
Back and forth the continued to describe what they had done, how John's setup had altered and shifted during the process, the suggested development plans for him to look over and hopefully approve, how new information, materials, energies, Concepts, Magic, and more would be incorporated into his Pocket in the future (Assuming these modules continue to operate according to the design and planned estimates calculated), and more and more and…
John sighed, causing the three to pause. "Sorry, I know this is important… But I'm hungry, still a bit sleepy, and VERY distracted by the two of you girls glomping on me like this. My brain checked out long ago… Can we talk about this later? Just… I want some food and another nap."
And he was pulled up and gently pushed into a chair even as Jessica pushed forward a food covered plate. ""Yes Master/My Lord!""
His sister on the other hand looked concerned. "Do you think you need to recover more? Another week or so of sleep or something?"
John piled his fork HIGH with eggs and gravy covered biscuits. Mmm! "Mrmph, murr mmm mph mmm…"
She rolled her eyes. "After you finish eating, please. At least swallow first."
Oops. Gulp! "Ah… Nah, I think I just need a day's rest or so. The lethargic weight of being tired is sort of missing now… Like a pressure has been released? Or maybe better to say that my carrying load has been more balanced… Yeah. I can still FEEL the pressure, you know, but I don't have to constantly adjust small settings and materials around for better stability now."
It had become automatic and subconscious at some point, the act of pushing through endless weariness and having to gently adjust all those various material and energy flows that allowed his System to operate.
But somehow, no matter how easy it had been to endure in the past… Not being FORCED to put up with that just made everything feel a bit brighter. Less stressful, certainly.
That was for later though. "Please pass the eggs…" Huh. "Actually, it's a bit strange I don't have them nearby already."
Jessica winced. "Ah, it has to do with all the observers and the effect we have on those around us. We can't really feel at [[Home]] when we don't own this space, almost no one is welcoming us, and the vast majority is just tolerating our eccentricities until we either leave or end the planet."
John couldn't help but frown at that… And frowned HARDER when he felt a number of unseen people all tense up at his facial expression. Hmm. "Yeah, that tracks. Hey Temptation, how do I give Morphy a treat?"
The black beauty gestured and John felt the knowledge sink into his mind… Ah, that wasn't too bad! "Thanks. Hey Morphy, thanks for showing me all the people who are spying on us!"
Ignoring the flinches outside the room, John paused. "How many treats should I give her? Are too many bad for a… An undefined mesh-like grid of energy and matter outside of time and space?" He didn't want to make her sick or something.
Temptation rolled her eyes. "Master, she's not quite up to a sapiency level beyond a beloved houseplant just yet."
Um. "So two would be fine?" Should he be safe and go with one?
Her sensual gesture was FAR too sexy to be a shrug, damn it. "She was consuming ALL of it before, so I doubt she could overdose or anything… But best keep it a snack instead of a meal. Two shouldn't be an issue, either way."
Sweet! "Here Morphy!"
John's fingers flickered and two brightly glowing balls were Crafted between his fingers, flickering rapidly through a variety of colors… And then he tossed them upwards…
They did not come down.
And he could feel something happily rolling around while licking her new candy. So that worked!
…They had looked pretty tasty honestly, so when he got a moment away from judging eyes he was TOTALLY going to sneak a snack or two. Later. "I guess doing the tourism thing is out for now… Let's stick around for a bit, to give the new alterations to our security modules time to be analyzed and tested. Maybe make sure I am actually BETTER this way and not suddenly forced to sleep for weeks at a time."
But whatever bits of himself Ninjor had managed to see had pretty much DESTROYED the fun of visiting this place. It was pretty hard to relax and do some sight seeing when your mere presence caused people to shit themselves in fear.
…And now john knew EXACTLY which of the local staff members had shit themselves in terror while watching over his family. Eww.
Still, uh… Good to know? "Thanks Morphy, but you don't have to work that hard… Just let me know if something seems to be trying to hurt one of us or something."
…Can someone without a face do the 'puppy eyes' look!? Damn it. "Have another treat… But this is the LAST ONE for now, alright? I don't want to spoil your dinner."
Glancing at the shining shifting orb, John once again resisted stealing the pet treat and flicked it up to vanish.
…Bet it tasted like cotton candy or that orange radioactive stuff though.
Also, probably asleep: But yes. An onion.
It wasn't a bad life, to be fair. Mostly just drinking up the liquids, enjoying some sunlight, all that.
And he probably shouldn't be able to Pocket the various bugs and animals and stuff that wanted to eat him, as that wasn't something an onion could do…
But that was a problem for OTHER onions, not John Doe the onion!
So with various critters, animals, and a very confused Farmer safely stored away in his dream Pocket, John proceeded to focus on the one goal ALL true onions strove towards: Growing.
…It wasn't exactly an IMPOSSIBLE desire, nor difficult, but you'd be surprised at how many onions out there fail at something so basic! Many end up rotting or being flooded or dug up or consumed.
So the years drifted by, and John the onion grew… Oddly.
Because growing UP wasn't a good idea, that would get you eaten.
And growing DOWN eventually got more and more tricky as well.
So he was going wide.
John was slowly becoming a very fat onion.
…By popular opinion, an evil CURSED fat onion.
You'd think the farmer (And the thirty or so people that eventually came looking for the missing guy) would be GRATEFUL to all be released and left to wander their way home! Right?
The animals seemed happy enough, once they were done freaking out and running away and stuff.
And the bugs went missing at some point, which confused John the onion significantly.
Thankfully some dream frog came by and explained that there were a whole bunch of OTHER frogs that were also sort-of-basically-dreams-but-not-really, so that was one mystery solved!
Yep, that's John! The evil cursed fat onion detective! Whenever a mystery can be found, just bring it over to the abandoned farm on 'cursed' land and explain your woes to the very fat onion that has been decimating the dream insect population through aggressive Pocket collection!
…To be brutally honest though, John didn't get many customers for his budding detective service.
Which was fine, because he was TOATS busy with the growing thing. Still going horizontal, even if he HAD gotten distracted for a few months and accidentally grew tall enough to tower over the local ruins of the abandoned farmstead.
Growing was serious business, and John was a serious evil cursed fat and tall onion detective!
No pranks or jokes here, no sir! It was just him, the warm soil (It was cold for a while when the snow fell for a few months), the bright sunshine (When it wasn't raining or snowing and stuff), and his growing neighborhood of amphibian dreamers.
…Alright, he was now so large that the trees weren't providing enough wind protection. If this continued, it would just get silly. Pocket, if you would?
[[Confirmed. Emptying Pocket of all Dream based materials. Awakening HOST.]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
John the
[[In twelve minutes, User Jessica will be notifying HOST that Lunch will be served.]]
Oh! He was feeling a bit peckish. "I slept through breakfast, huh?"
[[HOST has slept for three days, five hours, and twenty two minutes. User Grace determined this was a required adjustment period for John to adapt to his new defensive and energy redirection modules.]]
…Huh? Well then! "No WONDER I'm hungry! I've missed a LOT of meals recently!"
Happily humming some tunes, he bounced his way towards the kitchen… Hey! "Good morning, everyone! Or I guess it's like noon or something, so maybe I should GAH!"
His sister grinned down at his situation, with Grace and Temptation having tackled him to the carpet with hugs. "Good morning, little bro. Feeling better?"
…He couldn't really talk all squished like this, and his right arm was restricted, but John managed to give a thumbs up with his one free limb.
She hummed. "Good. Both Grace and the System said you were doing alright, but you were down for the count for a long time there."
Hey! Watch those hands, darn it! EEP!
Jessica went back to looking over her paperwork at the table, taking a bite from what he could only assume was toast from the sound. It was hard to see clearly with this much hair and two giggling people in the way. "Mmm… Anyway, I think your overly long interview got us all classified as some sort of extinction level event in humanoid form. We've been terrifying even the nicest of people just walking down the street, and even though they TRY to be polite about it all I think we are giving people miniature heart attacks every time someone spills something or whatever."
Wait, what? "Mrmm?" Ptah, hair. "What?"
She nodded. "Aside from the staff and our case worker, Samantha, everyone else has been treating us like we are radioactive. But in a very polite and 'please do not kill us' way, not being insulting or acting derogatory or anything like that. We've also collected all sorts of interesting information that have been stored in many helpful data packages, all promptly gathered and delivered as fast as they could conceivable provide them."
…Probably with an undercurrent of 'We gave you want you want, do not hurt us', John assumed.
Shit. "What did I say that set all this off? Or did I do something…?"
His sister sighed. "Adjusting the Pocket modules, specifically the many redesigns of some of the security focused ones? Well, it lets some things slip in the process. Not to mention the broken bits of you that we were trying to gather together and patch up that caused all the leaking issues in the first place."
John felt Grace winced against him, and he hugged her a bit tighter. "And I guess Ninjor noticed something while we were testing out potential short term patches using his Morphin Grid medallion prototypes. Crud."
Jessica took another bite. "Nom… Anyway, this was apparently the first large scale security overhaul that you've undergone since we first escaped that very first assassination attempt back in my Realm. Since we kept finding so many issues even AFTER you passed out that needed to be corrected as soon as possible… Well, the girls decided it was best to just do a complete review of the entire mountain of cludges and workarounds your System used to try and keep you going."
Which made sense, since Grace was considered his Pocket System's 'Domestic Administrator' and Temptation acted as his 'Ambassador'... Slash assassin, infiltration mistress, counter assault specialist, and all that jazz.
Huh. Maybe this was why he felt so amazing right now? "Well, I guess this WAS the first time I had been bothering to do a full medical checkup since those surgeries to stabilize me way back when I was found… And not everything I had done to 'stabilize' my new self had exactly been done all at once, or been planned, not to mention the stuff I sort of altered on the fly or adjusted in real time."
The white beauty hugged a bit tighter as his sister nodded. "Exactly. The NEW security modules, in fact MOST of your System modules, have been organized and reviewed and fine tuned. Everything we did was documented of course, but I'm hoping this will drastically reduce the time it takes you to recover, or at least keep you safe if we need to adjust something so important in the future."
Temptation rubbed her cheek against his. "I grabbed all the bits of Master that were considered destroyed or too compromised and all that and have been getting them documented and recycled, or at least grouped together in a more stable way that has reduced that 'bleeding' effect that got us all detected in the first place… And I already deployed the new hardware that converts the uncontrollable excess power and material into 'Candy' for Morphy the Morphin Grid."
Grace leaned her head against his other shoulder. "Sigh… I'm still adjusting the various clusters of modules to allow adding, editing, and removing specific nodes without causing the entire cluster to expose critical data like it did this time, my Lord. There may be issues eventually when some new energy type or sensing method is discovered, but I'm hoping that my new alterations won't ALSO expose old topics to outsiders when we work on those."
Back and forth the continued to describe what they had done, how John's setup had altered and shifted during the process, the suggested development plans for him to look over and hopefully approve, how new information, materials, energies, Concepts, Magic, and more would be incorporated into his Pocket in the future (Assuming these modules continue to operate according to the design and planned estimates calculated), and more and more and…
John sighed, causing the three to pause. "Sorry, I know this is important… But I'm hungry, still a bit sleepy, and VERY distracted by the two of you girls glomping on me like this. My brain checked out long ago… Can we talk about this later? Just… I want some food and another nap."
And he was pulled up and gently pushed into a chair even as Jessica pushed forward a food covered plate. ""Yes Master/My Lord!""
His sister on the other hand looked concerned. "Do you think you need to recover more? Another week or so of sleep or something?"
John piled his fork HIGH with eggs and gravy covered biscuits. Mmm! "Mrmph, murr mmm mph mmm…"
She rolled her eyes. "After you finish eating, please. At least swallow first."
Oops. Gulp! "Ah… Nah, I think I just need a day's rest or so. The lethargic weight of being tired is sort of missing now… Like a pressure has been released? Or maybe better to say that my carrying load has been more balanced… Yeah. I can still FEEL the pressure, you know, but I don't have to constantly adjust small settings and materials around for better stability now."
It had become automatic and subconscious at some point, the act of pushing through endless weariness and having to gently adjust all those various material and energy flows that allowed his System to operate.
But somehow, no matter how easy it had been to endure in the past… Not being FORCED to put up with that just made everything feel a bit brighter. Less stressful, certainly.
That was for later though. "Please pass the eggs…" Huh. "Actually, it's a bit strange I don't have them nearby already."
Jessica winced. "Ah, it has to do with all the observers and the effect we have on those around us. We can't really feel at [[Home]] when we don't own this space, almost no one is welcoming us, and the vast majority is just tolerating our eccentricities until we either leave or end the planet."
John couldn't help but frown at that… And frowned HARDER when he felt a number of unseen people all tense up at his facial expression. Hmm. "Yeah, that tracks. Hey Temptation, how do I give Morphy a treat?"
The black beauty gestured and John felt the knowledge sink into his mind… Ah, that wasn't too bad! "Thanks. Hey Morphy, thanks for showing me all the people who are spying on us!"
Ignoring the flinches outside the room, John paused. "How many treats should I give her? Are too many bad for a… An undefined mesh-like grid of energy and matter outside of time and space?" He didn't want to make her sick or something.
Temptation rolled her eyes. "Master, she's not quite up to a sapiency level beyond a beloved houseplant just yet."
Um. "So two would be fine?" Should he be safe and go with one?
Her sensual gesture was FAR too sexy to be a shrug, damn it. "She was consuming ALL of it before, so I doubt she could overdose or anything… But best keep it a snack instead of a meal. Two shouldn't be an issue, either way."
Sweet! "Here Morphy!"
John's fingers flickered and two brightly glowing balls were Crafted between his fingers, flickering rapidly through a variety of colors… And then he tossed them upwards…
They did not come down.
And he could feel something happily rolling around while licking her new candy. So that worked!
…They had looked pretty tasty honestly, so when he got a moment away from judging eyes he was TOTALLY going to sneak a snack or two. Later. "I guess doing the tourism thing is out for now… Let's stick around for a bit, to give the new alterations to our security modules time to be analyzed and tested. Maybe make sure I am actually BETTER this way and not suddenly forced to sleep for weeks at a time."
But whatever bits of himself Ninjor had managed to see had pretty much DESTROYED the fun of visiting this place. It was pretty hard to relax and do some sight seeing when your mere presence caused people to shit themselves in fear.
…And now john knew EXACTLY which of the local staff members had shit themselves in terror while watching over his family. Eww.
Still, uh… Good to know? "Thanks Morphy, but you don't have to work that hard… Just let me know if something seems to be trying to hurt one of us or something."
…Can someone without a face do the 'puppy eyes' look!? Damn it. "Have another treat… But this is the LAST ONE for now, alright? I don't want to spoil your dinner."
Glancing at the shining shifting orb, John once again resisted stealing the pet treat and flicked it up to vanish.
…Bet it tasted like cotton candy or that orange radioactive stuff though.
ehhh why does it seem like [[HOME]] is going to adopt a vaguely power ranger shaped puppy... ugh now I'm imaging buffy as ranger blond.
