[Faerun to Alice. Faerun to Alice. You there?]
You snap out of your thoughts, and look over towards Ludmila, who seems a bit concerned. You are parked next to a gas pump at a 7-Eleven. You had been so deep in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed. "Sorry. Learning I was casting spells has caused a bit of a crisis "
You hadn't found an explanation that quite fit what you were looking for. The main issue was there were still just too many restrictions against spells and witchcraft that you'd have to account for. And that didn't even account for the types of spells you had.
You had quickly looked in the Spells section of Codex Gygax, and sure enough there were three. Guidance, Spare The Dying, and Guiding Bolt.
…when you had imagined spells, you thought witches brooms, cauldrons, and curses. And selling your soul to Satan, of course. Hey, Goodfellow's preaching had influenced you after all. But this was just… helping you with skills, keeping people alive, and… okay, there was an attack spell. But you hadn't planned to really use that one outside of life and death battles.
These didn't seem evil. But they were still spells. Which meant the Bible was clear on them. Unless you could figure a way around them.
[Why would that cause a crisis? You seemed pretty comfortable beforehand]
You detect the confusion from the Entity's tone of voice. But Ludmila interrupts before you can say anything "People don't usually cast spells, Raskova. Not in this world." Then she turns to address you. "Tell Grandma Ludmila what's wrong. What kind of crisis?"
You tense a bit, before starting to speak. "I'm pretty sure the Bible says casting spells is a sin. But my other god gives spells! And it's really confusing and part of this whole thing I am not ready for and I really didn't want…" You can feel yourself start to just spill out everything. You hadn't intended it. You really were just going to talk about spells. But one thing led to another.
Maybe you needed to get a lot of things off of your chest to someone that wouldn't judge you. Maybe it's because she called herself 'Grandma', and you need something resembling family right now. Or maybe it would have happened eventually, as people can only handle so much change before they break.
For the next several minutes, Ludmila doesn't say a word. She lets you rant, rave, be angry at the whole situation you've found thrust upon you, before finally breaking down in tears. You don't remember much, if any of what you said. But you do remember feeling yourself being pulled into a hug at some point, which you don't resist. It feels good, being hugged again. You feel her stroke the back of your head, which also gives you a sense of comfort.
You think you notice someone coming up to the driver side door, but they seemed to leave in a hurry the moment they looked through the window. You think Ludmila just glared at them, but it doesn't matter.
After what feels like forever, and only after you've spent all of your energy, and before you start to apologize for staining her shawl, does she speak. "Feel better?"
…you do, actually. Just letting it all go… feels good. Oh, you still have a lot to deal with. This is not something you can deal with over just a day or two. But at the very least, it's not building up inside you anymore. "Yes… yes, I'm… not okay, but I feel better." You wipe the ears from your eyes.
"Good. Keeping things in only hurts." Ludmila says. "I should know. Now, let's get sweets."
"...sweets?"
"Sweets!" The old Russian opens the door. "Usually ruins appetite. But after a good cry, sweets help. Also, the car needs gas."
–
"So, the gods are important to you?" Ludmila asks, as the two of you continue the drive down the Sam Rayburn Tollway towards The Colony. Yes, there is a town called The Colony, thank you very much.
You nod your head, as you dig into another pint of ice cream. "Yes, very much so."
"I am… not a believer in gods. Not like you. But I would not tell you to deny them."
[Especially since I'd tell you they're real.] Raskova interjects.
[Hell, we're real. Why not gods?]
"One thing at a time, Raskova. Spells first, then Entities." Ludmila replies, before continuing. "What I would tell you is if you must choose between goodness and the laws,
choose to be good."
For a moment, you pause.
Wait, is it really just that easy? Have you been overthinking this? But if you stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense on all parts of your faith
For the Selune side of things, it's not a problem. Even if she didn't grant spells herself, you already know that according to her, self-reliance and finding one's own, practical path are more important than fussy detail in her faith.
It's mainly on the Christian side of things where the issue lies, But doing good is supposed to be what every follower of God is supposed to do, even if the rules would prohibit it. There are plenty of examples where someone in the Bible breaks the law in order to do what is right. The midwives against Pharaoh. Peter and John versus the Sanheidren. And Daniel and his friends.
So many times, Daniel and his friends. Even Jesus Himself broke the Pharisee's interpretation of the Sabbath on multiple occasions. It's one of the reasons they wanted to kill Him!
So it's not that far a stretch to apply that one step further towards spells. Lesser breaks of the rules in order to follow greater ones.
"Is it really that simple?" You ask, stretching your mind to accept this.
Ludmila shakes her head. "Not always. Being good can be hard. But if your gods are good, they will understand. And if they don't, are they really good gods?"
You close your eyes, and attempt to internalize this. It makes sense. But will you accept this?
Well, there's only one way to find out…
And with that thought, you hold out your left hand. A breath in, and you bring it down, before bring it back up and the left, then finishing it with a sweep to the right. "
Ductus"
Insight/Religion Check: 17 + 7 (Insight Expertise) + 4 (Guidance) = 28. DC: 10/15/20/25. Pass
While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples.
When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"
On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.
But go and learn what this means:
❦I Desire Mercy, Not Sacrifice.❦
And between Ludmila's advice, your knowledge and study of scriptures, and the knowledge brought to you by Codex, you get it.
If the Sacrifice of your spells would make you unable to give Mercy, then you should not Sacrifice them. Is it not the duty of every Selunite to bring goodness to those who need it? To heal those most afflicted? To cure those of madness and unwanted lycanthrope? Is it not the duty of every Christian to feed the poor, heal the sick, clothe the naked, and visit those in prison?
And with this, you feel something given to you…
–
[ ]
A Spell to Generate A Healing Substance
[ ]
A Fast Track Of Mercy's Features
[ ]
A Way For Codex To Find New Spells
--
QM's Notes:
First off, thanks to @Archeo Lumiere for looking the segment over.
Second, You've gained something. I'm not exactly sure what to call them yet. Truth, Roads, Paths, Tenets, Beliefs. I'll decide exactly what to call it in a bit. Not that your Crisis of Faith is not finished. You still have quite a while to go. But you have something to hold onto.