New Century 2318 [NGE]

[jcmoorehead]

Just read through the second chapter. Really like this so far, very interested to see where you go with it both with the changes to the protag but also the setting.

 

[Pineapple]

Chapter pre hurf song, natch.

 

[Pineapple]

Chapter 3:
Qu'est-ce que c'est?​

There was more to fear than pain, more to regret than failure. He said she'd die, but I hadn't considered myself. Some deep vestigial cave-man impulse demanded violent action, or, maybe that was a misattribution. I was trying to do the right thing or die trying.

Maybe, in deeper and darker places, I was driven by that other impulse, not the one that drives survival but might still make me someone's idea of a hero by the end of the day.

No, seeing Rei triggered something in me. Something deeper than insecurity and doubt. I could have done it for approval or… if there'd been more time, would I have said no? With training would I have tried to run?

Maybe, after time, Aoba's romantic notions of heroism and destiny would have gotten through to me anyway.

Maybe I was just trying to make up for--

"Natsu you have to move!"

A flash of movement caught my eyes at the last second. I'd gotten distracted by my thoughts, I'd missed the Angel's advance. Quick and alien steps that brought it right up to me, brought a sharp lethal bone-spike headed towards my face.

I raised my arms instinctively to shield myself, knowing they'd do nothing and being entirely unable to resist the impulse heedless of that fact. Fighting back tears that no-one could ever see while holding my pitiful arms up against something with that kind of power; I'd never imagined I'd die this way.

The crash rattled my teeth and my bones and despite every fear I'd had, I wasn't dead. Unit One's arms were crossed in front of its own face just like mine were crossed in front of mine. Neuro link. That's how it worked, or maybe it wasn't how it was supposed to work, but it did.

There were worse things to fear than the end; getting there without even trying topped the list. I'd faced worse things than this. This could kill me, but it couldn't make me want to die, and I'd already slain that demon.

I pushed the monster away and took a clumsy step back. It was like walking on stilts or… well therapy had a way of changing my balance, the way the hips work. I could get past the weird feedback, I had to. I had people counting on me, didn't I?

My stance was closer to drunken boxer than anything you'd see in a professional setting but it was the first thing that came to mind. The man I'd learned from wasn't the best fighter and he was far from the best teacher, but he knew the world would try to break me and he gave me what he could.

Elbows low, fists out in front. I snapped a sloppy right hook into that bone-beak and listened for the crack. The recoil made my hand hurt, so I switched to a quick jab from the left. Little hop to the left, to the right.

I felt a smirk creep onto my face. This was surprisingly smooth. There was a lag time, of course, and the replication of what I wanted to what I got was far from perfect but in a fist fight close was good enough. Everything was deceptively quiet, the footsteps, the punches were loud enough, but I couldn't hear the gears and servos that had to be powering this thing.

And into the rhythm, left, right. Hop to the left, right hook. I couldn't tell if I was actually doing anything to it, but fluid was coating Unit One's hands, so I was at least making it bleed. Another hard left and the faceplate cracked.

If I'd been looking anywhere, I might have missed the sudden bright star-flash in its eye. It certainly didn't miss me. I felt the flash of heat on my face and my vision turned into a void of white and gravity disappeared.

"Natsu! Natsu!" I heard the screaming through that holo link with the command center. It sounded like Misato.

It felt like my face was on fire, and for a second I could believe I was smelling it too. It was a few merciful seconds before I hit the ground and bounced in my seat. Vision returned from the edges, movement first.

"I'm not dead yet, Misato!" I yelled, knowing the open microphone would pick it up. "I can't see very good right now, but I'm not dead!"

I caught the dark flesh of the Angel, and then the pressure on my chest. Hands digging into the chest armor, trying to get to me. I reached out blindly with my left hand, grabbed onto something hard and squeezed down, pushed it away.

Still, the tearing sensation continued. Armor had to fail soon, it was too strong. We'd burned it with nuclear fire and it kept going. What was piss-poor boxing going to do?

I could make out the bony faceplate I was clutching in my left hand, and swung a hard punch with the right. One, two, three, four, five. Each hit harder than the last, as hard as I could. Pinned to the ground I couldn't do much else, and even less that it seemed to care about.

"Come on! Just die already!" I screamed at it, as if by pure force of will I could force it to obey me.

A loud explosion piped in through the audio system made me flinch; the hole that appeared in the Angel was more surprising. A second explosion rattled my eardrums and this time I saw the path that a white-hot tracer had carved through the air.

Not an explosion; cannon fire.

The Angel fell away from me and I pushed myself along the ground to open up some distance, still too shaken to try to stand. A third report sounded through the entry plug and I started to look around for the source.

I rolled my head back in the seat to look 'up' through the top of the plug and saw that blue unit from before, the one that they'd launched into the air after the Angel. It seemed damaged, with a few missing armor plates and a pretty substantial hydraulic leak on the left leg.

Even damaged it made shockingly little noise, only the impacts with the ground as it limped towards me seemed to make any real sound. The mean-looking rifle it was holding was definitely the louder of the pair.

Other than saving my life it ignored me completely and limped past me to the wounded Angel that lie bleeding on the ground. It would have almost seemed casual if not for the scale of it, Unit Zero pushed the muzzle of the rifle up against a red glassy sphere set into the monster's chest and pulled the trigger.

A flash was followed by the evaporation of the sphere, and the cessation of all activity from the creature that had only moments ago been trying kill me.

I'd come out to save Rei Ayanami, but it looked more like she'd saved me instead. I might have helped, but she still did more work than I had. She had the training, what was I compared to that?

She limped back over to me and the huge helmeted head with the single cycloptic eye looked down at me. It looked as banged up as the rest of the robot, leaking hydraulic fluid and missing sections of armor.

It was funny, though; the hydraulic fluid looked a lot like blood this close up. The way it dripped and pooled, the viscosity, seemed stickier than oil should be.

I pushed up off the ground and found my way back to my feet, or, back to Unit One's feet. The neuro link had a way of blending my perspective like that.

"Target has gone silent. We've confirmed the kill." That sounded like Aoba. I couldn't be sure because, at some point, the connection had gone 'sound only' which was probably for the best, reduction in distractions.

"Target is... silent. Roger." This was definitely a new voice, female, younger than Misato. Quieter. Her speech seemed strained, hitched. Like she was holding on by a thread. She was in pain.

Movement outside the Evangelion drew my attention, the blue robot dropped its rifle and took a step away from the Angel it had killed. The second step faltered and the damaged leg buckled. By the time I was able to think of doing anything it was already too late; Zero had fallen face down to the ground and had stopped moving.

"Misato, is she..?" I couldn't bring myself to finish the thought. I couldn't have failed that badly, could I?

"She's alive. We're starting the recovery process. Proceed to the recovery lift marked on your waypoint." She answered me back. It was a relief of a sort, but alive isn't the same as okay.

I wasn't going to leave her for someone else to come get, not while I was right there. You didn't leave people for someone else to help. That's not how we did it on Ganymede, and that's not how I was going to do it here.

I reached down and grabbed Rei's unit by the arms and hoisted it up into a fireman's carry. I might have been as weak as a child in this gravity, but Unit One wasn't. It was heavy, but it was an easier burden to bear than failure was. "I've got Unit Zero. Proceeding to waypoint."

xxx​

The shower had been mandatory, though a change of clothes would have taken too long. Clean hair was an acceptable enough compromise, with all of the breathing fluid washed out of my hair and rinsed off of the pilot suit.

The vacuum seal kept it from getting inside the suit, so I didn't have to worry about that, at least. I didn't smell funky at least, even if I was attracting glances from everyone that walked past.

I didn't like hospitals and I never had. Places full of the sick or dying, there was always such a negativity in the air. I'd spent enough heartache and physical pain in hospitals, and even if they'd finally taken me to the destination I'd been seeking, the road had been a long and rough one.

They probably wanted to debrief me, take me into a room off in the middle of no-where and sit me down and then agonize over every single detail of what had just happened. They'd nitpick and question-after-the-fact every move I'd made, why I didn't wait for instructions, why I blanked out at the beginning.

Why I didn't let them handle Rei's recovery; and for that I had more than enough to say.

It wasn't normally like me to force an issue, but I made it clear I wasn't going to leave my position next to the door until they finally let me see her, so I could see with my own eyes that she'd be okay. It was probably adrenaline from the fight, my blood was still hot from combat. Maybe it was whatever impulse risen in me when I'd first seen her in pain on that holo display.

And maybe, through all of this, I'd found a bond with Aoba. He'd helped me 'sneak out the back' so to speak, so that I could wait in the medical ward for Rei to wake up. She'd pushed herself too hard in that fight, and I'd made her push herself even harder when I'd failed to finish it.

I'd done my best, but that didn't make it okay. My best wasn't good enough and she'd still gotten hurt. At least, that's the self-flagellation that kept running through my mind.

So I stood, silent guardian, over her while she slept. Meter and a half of space-girl who could hardly hold herself up in full gravity. I wouldn't be able to do anything to anyone who tried to move me, but I'd probably earned the indulgence I was taking.

I had to know that I'd done enough, at least. I had to know it had been for something. I'd lost nothing, I had nothing to lose. My father was never going to love me and Ganymede would never really, really, be my home.

This place, these people, this would have to do. People who I'd never known before I'd killed Shinji Ikari.

And, maybe, I was putting too much weight on it, too much importance on one girl. I wasn't attracted to her, it wasn't lust, it was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I was like a magnetic pull. She was important to me when she had no reason to be, when I'd never met her before.

A click behind me drew my attention and I whirled around on my heel, squeaked against the floor. A nurse a little taller than me, cute face, a little heavy set, was looking out of the room. "Natsu? She's awake. You can come in now."

 

[jcmoorehead]

Great chapter, I really liked the fight sequence. So it seems in this they are already a little bit more capable than Shinji is in the original, I wonder how that'll play out for the next Angel. I'm also very interested in seeing how their home life is going to be moving forward.

 

[4WheelSword]

She seems cool. Character is a nice change from nge. Some of the way she refers to her past is definitely in keeping with bits of the community so that's cool.

 

[Pineapple]

She seems cool. Character is a nice change from nge. Some of the way she refers to her past is definitely in keeping with bits of the community so that's cool.

Click to shrink...

I had been concerned about not 'getting it right', so if you've got any suggestions i'd be happy to hear them.

 

[Pineapple]

This is just fantastic.

 

[Susano]

Poor Natsu. Just as self-blaming as in canon, with just as much of an unhealthy martyr complex.

Though, would NERV really have done as she feared? Go into exhausting and critical debriefing nevermind she had no prior experience at all, had been shanghaied into this battle and they oughta be grateful she fought at all?

 

[Strypgia]

massive armor plat

Click to shrink...

plate?

I was alone, home, after a fashion, but alone.

Click to shrink...

Well, back, at least. Not sure this is really a home.

"I sent for you because I need you."

Click to shrink...

I see the Gendo Constant of this universe is at least 1.0.

the wounded Angel that lie bleeding

Click to shrink...

lay?

Sad, but very him that Gendo doesn't seem to even give a fuck at Natsu showing up and not Shinji. I mean yeah, high pressure situation where your gender isn't really important right now versus 'keep the giant space monster from killing us all', but Gendo of course gives off a vibe that he wouldn't care even if it wasn't, since it's not important to him or his plan.

Also, yeesh, finally had time to catch up!
Have some art?

 

[Pineapple]

>asuka recolor

 

[Pineapple]

Chapter 4:

in memoria​

The nurse stepped outside, privacy she said. She didn't want to be in the way. It wasn't a private room, of course. It was part of a larger ward that seemed to be empty, save for a curtained off corner. I wasn't sure that privacy, in this case, was necessarily better.

It came to the front of my mind that I was inferring familiarity based on my own reactions to seeing her. We'd never met, she didn't know me. I didn't know her either, except for the nagging feeling that something about her...

There were men's shoes under the edge of the curtain. Black slacks ending in black dress shoes. Didn't seem very much like a doctor would wear; the shoes looked like real cow leather. A visitor? Someone of importance.

After all, they'd been allowed in before anyone else, right?

Maybe her guardian, or someone else who cares about her? I pulled the corner of the curtain back, the nurse had sent me in after all.

The runners holding up the curtain made a sharp 'shiink' noise and the man turned quickly to look at me. Orange sunglasses, as before. Father. The air seemed to disappear from the room and my throat tightened up. There was a burning at the edge of my mind and the room--

My eyes fell on the girl in the hospital bed and for a moment the all of the colors desaturated into greyscale. She seemed... older. No, not even quite the same--

"So, have you picked out a name?"

The words forced themselves into my mind, the voice was familiar, but too young. Not... quite identifiable, too soft.

"If it's a boy, we'll name him Shinji. If it's a girl, Rei."

Knees buckled under me, I could smell, taste blood. Sort of an electric spike into my brain. I reached out for something, anything to stabilize me. My right hand found a glove and I grabbed on tight. The glove had a hand, was attached to an arm.

He was familiar. Hard yet caring eyes, a clean shaven face. He looked... confused. He grabbed onto my shoulder and helped me to a chair as the ground tried to come up to meet me.

We locked eyes and... another stabbing, burning sensation in my brain, he disappeared in static and all of the colors of the world came crashing back into me. His face changed, his eyes disappeared and were replaced by orange sunglasses, his clean shaven face replaced by a beard.

My eyes burned but not quite like crying. My face was wet, blood running down from my nose, I could taste it on my lips. Knees were still shaking.

He was still holding my hand.

Greyscale flashed in front of my eyes again, and he was younger. His mouth was moving, I couldn't make out the words. Couldn't read his lips.

The colored world and the greyscale world started to blend together, forced themselves on me at the same time, flashing back and forth between the young and the old. I felt my eyes rolling back, eyes closing. Couldn't breathe...

"Natsu!"

xxx​

"His guardian died during the blowout incident. His father is back on earth, but--"

"No, I understand. I'll take care of him. I'll keep him safe."

xxx​

My eyes opened effortlessly to the sight of a hospital room. A private room, rather than the shared intensive care unit that I'd visited Rei in. A white, unfamiliar ceiling. That had been happening a lot lately, at least in the places that I could even get sleep.

I'd had that dream again. Of all of my memories, that one was always as clear as the day it happened. That was the day that I started to find myself.

I shoved the sheet off of me. I had to look, I had to make sure that it hadn't all been a dream. It was... irrational, fearful, and yet...If I could so easily calm myself there was little reason not to do so.

Relief, everything was as I remembered. Anybody who didn't already know would never be able to tell. I tried, so hard, not to let doubts rule me. Still, once in a while, I had to make sure I really had woken up from the nightmare.

No longer trapped in a prison cell made of my own flesh, role playing at being normal. This was normal. I--

"Oh my! I'm sorry, I should have knocked!"

I jerked my head to the side at the same time that I pulled the sheet up over my chest. A surprisingly fluid movement, given the sudden and utter panic that drove it. There was a woman, short, but taller than me. "I uh... hello?"

She was blushing. "S-sorry! I ah, I was the one who gave you the implants? In the back of your head! Well, you were rejecting them so we had to give you an anti-rejection cocktail, you'll be fine now, of course!"

Her words came out at a mile a minute; fast, flustered, freaking out. She was definitely embarrassed. I could understand the sensation; I was feeling it myself. Questions about my own orientation aside, I was not promiscuous, nor exhibitionist… plugsuit notwithstanding. Modesty in all things.

I blinked slowly and pulled the sheets a little higher up, then waved with my free right hand. "Well, um, thank you for the medicine? I'm Natsu Ikari."

She stared blankly at me. I watched with some fascination as her eyes slowly blinked and her mouth worked up and down mutely, but only for a moment. She seemed like she might have been working trough any number of things she might say in response.

"I know." She finally decided on.

I swallowed and licked my bottom lip, "And you are…?"

"Imaybauki--" I could, if I had closed my eyes, have imagined her flailing about like some kind of moe anime character, from one of those slice of life shows.

"What?"

She shook her head and tried again. She was still… quite red. "Ibuki! Maya Ibuki, I'm one of the Evangelion systems technicians! I work under Doctor Akagi!" She was loud. Not so much yelling, but her voice kept rising in pitch and volume with each subsequent word.

If I pressed this too much further I wasn't sure if she'd burst or start whistling like a tea kettle. We needed a topic change. "So, what happens now?" I ventured. I couldn't help but feel like the fight hadn't been the hard part.

"Well, if you're feeling up to it, there are some people who'd like to see you, now that you're awake."

I perked up at that. People, for me? I guess the fame settled in pretty quickly after jumping into a giant robot.

"Who?"

She shook her head, "Sorry, for this it's probably better if you don't go into this with any expectations. We've got something for you to wear."

I dropped my head back down onto the pillow and I stared up at the ceiling. "Oh, okay."

xxx​

I could have believed that this was a move calculated to torture me. The clothing that I'd been provided was heavy and uncomfortable despite being perfectly tailored to my body; it almost had to be intentional. Lots of cotton, a dress uniform reminiscent of Mars Fleet, but in the beige that dominated the uniforms of Nerv staff.

A full Earth Gravity pulling down on me the entire time while I stood to be stared at by a panel of people was icing on the cake, so to speak.

At least it was a female uniform, leave no doubt in the minds of those who must surely have been confused as my father was.

Not that I'd been given a chance to speak. I'd spent the last fifteen minutes, and who even knew how many more, standing at attention while listening to men and women talk to each other about me as if I wasn't even there.

Not that they were there, just holographic projections, telepresence.

A man's voice finally broke over the din that everything had devolved into. The tone was a bit nasal, not quite shrill. Definitely an older gentleman. "Right, so, Natsu Ikari. I'm sure that this hasn't been the most pleasant experience for you, that is the unfortunate nature of proceedings like this. We've had understandable... misgivings about your appointment as a pilot in this program, given the... incomplete nature of your biographical records."

A woman's voice joined in, a bit deeper than the man but still distinctly feminine, perhaps smoker even. "With that being said, your performance, while not singularly effective, was nevertheless impressive when your lack of experience is taken into account. This ultimately fell in your favor. Despite your status, this panel has elected to approve your appointment to active duty Evangelion Pilot."

One by one, the telepresence projections faded away as the links were broken. First the deeper voiced woman, then the first man who'd spoken to me. Ten, six, two, then only a single projection remained,a this one with the face obscured.

"I trust," the unplaceable voice began, "That you will not let us down, Pilot Ikari. Your position represents significant investment, both tangible and intangible. You will succeed."

The spotlights that had been boiling me alive flickered out at the same moment the final projection ended. The room lights came up much more softly than the spots, and I was, for a moment, alone.

With my thoughts as my only company.

They didn't really seem to have needed me for the meeting, they didn't have me say a single word, only stared at me and dictated. They could have sent a letter, a message, even teleconference. There wasn't really a reason for the telepresence and the white hot spotlights.

At least, no reason other than proving to me that they could make me do it. Not that they needed to try. I'd flown across the solar system just because my father asked me to. Let my hope drive me into what was probably the stupidest thing I'd ever done.

Now I was bound to it. Even without the implants in my brain or the lack of money to get back to Ganymede, my own conscience wouldn't let me abandon people to their fate. Difficult, painful, terrifying experiences that I would have to go through because I was too stupid to fight for no.

"Career politicians have their own special place in hell... but at times like this we still have to play their games to get what we need. Sometimes it's unpleasant."

I spun around fast enough that my hair tangled up around my face for a moment. I'd recognized the voice in an instant; I'd heard it enough lately.

"Misato? You could have warned me!" I hissed out through a clenched jaw. Without the lights to keep me half-melted, the uniform was starting to stiffen.

She shook her head and stepped further into the room, "It wouldn't have done you any good, you'd just have had more time to worry about it. This was the best it could have gone."

"Going worse than that was an option? I almost melted!" Sure, maybe that wasn't the real risk but it was the most accessible one. Life off-world acclimated one to colder temperatures. Machinery worked better, less water was wasted through perspiration.

There were also hygiene implications and dear god I could feel everything starting to stick to my skin. No, calm down Natsu, there's a greater purpose, remember?

"They could have done this in the nude. That would most certainly have been worse," Misato sing-songed to me. Her shoulders lifted into a shrug and she tilted her head to the side. Helpless acceptance.

"You're messing with me. There's just no way." I shook my head almost violently, "You shouldn't tease like that!"

Her shoulders raised a little more, her lip curled down and her eyebrows raised, hands turned upright. Doubling down on it? Not even using her words with me? She was either committed to the tease or... No, it couldn't possibly be true.

Could it?

 

[Susano]

Knees buckled under me, I could smell, taste blood. Sort of an electric spike into my brain. I reached out for something, anything to stabilize me. My right hand found a glove and I grabbed on tight. The glove had a hand, was attached to an arm.

He was familiar. Hard yet caring eyes, a clean shaven face. He looked... confused. He grabbed onto my shoulder and helped me to a chair as the ground tried to come up to meet me.

Click to shrink...

How... peculiar. What a take on Gendo.

A woman's voice joined in, a bit deeper than the man but still distinctly feminine, perhaps smoker even. "With that being said, your performance, while not singularly effective, was nevertheless impressive when your lack of experience is taken into account. This ultimately fell in your favor. Despite your status, this panel has elected to approve your appointment to active duty Evangelion Pilot."

Click to shrink...

They don't even ask? Just assume she will do it? Take it for granted? After all, an emergency deployment as pilot is one thing; a permanent role quite a different one.

Difficult, painful, terrifying experiences that I would have to go through because I was too stupid to fight for no.

Click to shrink...

Ah yes. That is very much like Shinji. Even as Natsu. That is basically Shinji's essence. Ethic obligations or not, Natsu could have asked for something in return; they don't have anyone else, after all. But she can't. She just can't. And then feels resentment at that fact against herself, and against the people around her who did this to her. Which is justified, really, but the fact is she could have said no. Except she can't. So, all just like Shinji in canon... Good take on this.

Her shoulders raised a little more, her lip curled down and her eyebrows raised, hands turned upright. Doubling down on it? Not even using her words with me? She was either committed to the tease or... No, it couldn't possibly be true.

Could it?

Click to shrink...

That is... disconcerting.

 

[Pineapple]

How... peculiar. What a take on Gendo

Click to shrink...

She's seeing memory... or at least get brain trying to come to grips with feedback from the implant. She's seeing gendo as someone else had seen him, many years ago.

 

[JennyDracos]

She's seeing gendo as someone else had seen him, many years ago.

Click to shrink...

Oooh, that makes a lot of sense and is really interesting. I'd wondered if she was remembering something from when she was really little and Yui was still around and 'Shinji' was a distraction for Gendo's wife, and not a recurring reminder that she was gone...
But the idea that Natsu is picking up Yui's memories is really interesting.

That is... disconcerting.

Click to shrink...

Given that they appear to be SEELE, only with faces instead of plinths? Yeah, forcing the pilot to appear nude is not out of the question.

(Presumably holographic teleconferences are to some extent the norm in 2318, so showing up in the guise of floating black monoliths would scream 'evil conspiracy,' while showing up wearing suits is much better for a disguise and thanks to digital filters could be a total lie.)

That emphasis on Natsu's name irritates the heck out of me, but that strikes me as deliberate on Jackie's part, if not Keele's(?). What he's saying by doing that is "I'll acknowledge what you think of your existence, but only because I choose to do so."

And it's amusing that the committee is like 'well, we'll condescend to allow you to pilot,' and Natsu is like 'DAMNIT WHY?'

 

[Pineapple]

But the idea that Natsu is picking up Yui's memories is really interesting.

Click to shrink...

Well she does have brain implants.

 

[Susano]

Given that they appear to be SEELE, only with faces instead of plinths? Yeah, forcing the pilot to appear nude is not out of the question.

Click to shrink...

Yes, but that is the difference. SEELE is something that officially doesn't exist. It's a conspiracy with no official power. So Ritsuko being kidnapped and stripped to stand nude in front of them? Makes totally sense. Meanwhile, this here appear to be the official oversight body, actual politicians in an official function doing that. And that official body has the power to let people appear in the nude? And that is just accepted as the norm with a shrug? That is disconcerting.

And it's amusing that the committee is like 'well, we'll condescend to allow you to pilot,' and Natsu is like 'DAMNIT WHY?'

Click to shrink...

Well, amusing is one way to put it...

 

[JennyDracos]

Well she does have brain implants.

Click to shrink...

Yes, but that is the difference. SEELE is something that officially doesn't exist. It's a conspiracy with no official power. So Ritsuko being kidnapped and stripped to stand nude in front of them? Makes totally sense. Meanwhile, this here appear to be the official oversight body, actual politicians in an official function doing that. And that official body has the power to let people appear in the nude? And that is just accepted as the norm with a shrug? That is disconcerting.

Click to shrink...

I was going to say that Natsu clearly did not accept that as the norm with a shrug, when it occurred to me that Misato totally did. My reading on that would be that an ordinary committee, say the UN Security Council, probably couldn't do that, because if they could, Natsu would have been less 'is she for real' and more 'that's fucking bullshit.'

The question THAT raises is, how does Misato know they can do that? Have they done it to Rits already, and has Rits told Misato?

That said, a part of what I was trying to say is that we don't actually know that this is the UN's Human Instrumentality Committee at all. They don't have to be part of the government. They could just be pretending to be part of the government as an added layer of cover, using filters. Keel could be just as borged up as he was in canon and we don't see it, because we don't see him, we see the holographic projection that he wants us (and everyone else) to see. And we know, and Misato knows, that the people who are funding NERV really do have that kind of power, whether they claim to represent the World Government or not.

Well, amusing is one way to put it...

Click to shrink...

I did at one point have the entire song 'Shadenfreude' from Avenue Q memorized.

 

[Susano]

My reading on that would be that an ordinary committee, say the UN Security Council, probably couldn't do that, because if they could, Natsu would have been less 'is she for real' and more 'that's fucking bullshit.'

[...]

That said, a part of what I was trying to say is that we don't actually know that this is the UN's Human Instrumentality Committee at all.

Click to shrink...

Misato does refer to them as "career politicians". Of course it is possible that is a ruse that Misato fell for, but in that case Misato accepts it with a shrug that official commitee of official politicians (what is what she clearly believes this to be) can cite people to them in the nude. So, still very disconcerting.

Natsu, at this point, should just say no - if only to get concessions. But alas, she can't.

Hm, actually, that is a good WI scenario. What if the Committee is all "We allow you to pilot" and Natsu responds with "No, I won't do it again" or "I don't accept this position" or something like that?

 

[JennyDracos]

I don't want to draw too much from canon or fanon on this, because ultimately Jackie hasn't written that much yet, and it's an AU, so what happens in the fic may not match what happened in canon or fanon. But...to me it seemed like the concession 'we'll let you pilot' wasn't made to Natsu. They don't really care about Natsu. What we see here is they don't even think of Natsu as a person.

Who DO they think of as a person? Gendo.

This concession was made to the only person they know is playing the same game they are. They don't know how different his plans are from theirs, they just know he has managed to make himself critical. So when they tell Natsu 'you can pilot,' they are in effect telling Gendo 'we don't know what you're up to, but we will allow it.'

Going by that logic, if Natsu were to say 'But I don't want to,' SEELE would just go 'what? lol.' and ignore her. If Natsu is a piece that Gendo wants in play, then it's up to Gendo to keep her in play.

How Gendo would react? Well, we have some established canon and fanon understandings about Gendo, but he's really very malleable from a writer's perspective...

 

[Pineapple]

Mmmmm malleable

 

[Pineapple]

a good WI scenario. What if the Committee is all "We allow you to pilot" and Natsu responds with "No, I won't do it again" or "I don't accept this position" or something like that?

Click to shrink...

I think that at that point they'd likely tell her that she's stuck on earth because no one is paying for her trip back to Ganymede

 

[Madou Sutegobana]

no doubt in the minds of those who must surely have been confused as my father was.

Click to shrink...

Nah, he's just upset you ruined all his engagement proposals.


Oh, it's Gendo, not Genma?

 

[Dealer]

Nah, he's just upset you ruined all his engagement proposals.


Oh, it's Gendo, not Genma?

Click to shrink...

Natsu: dad why am I getting married?

Gendo: I'm trying to make up for not being there for you, sondaughter. This seemed like the best way to make you feel better.

Natsu: ....but why a marriage?

Gendo: Look, if it worked for me, it'll work for you.

 

[Pineapple]

Chapter 5:

The New Normal​

"I would normally be surprised by something like this, but at this point it doesn't even really register." I said, mostly to break the silence, small talk was good, right? It wasn't like I knew that many people, and most of them were on Ganymede.

"Yeah I suppose that if you've spent your whole life in space a city like this would be pretty impressive, huh?" She answered with a soft smile and a shrug. The city was impressive. I'd seen most of it on the way down, and there rest after I'd come back up. More gravity than I liked but I could deal with it.

No, my concern was something else. "Misato, the car. Internal combustion? There isn't even automatic collision avoidance! Just seat-belts!" Natsu, calm it down girl. In, out, in, out; breathe. It's a stressful day, don't make it worse. Calm down...

"That may be true, but this car is a classic. Besides, you just fell from orbit, fought a monster, and had implant rejection. None of that killed you, so you should be fine," she explained before revving up the engine in the car and accelerating to even higher speeds.

But then, I'd gotten in voluntarily in the first place. It wasn't like I had anything else going on and she said she wanted me to see something. Something, how very descriptive, but then this was the woman who'd thrown me into hard vacuum so I felt like the safe choice was to just go with the flow and see what her end game was.

She needed me to pilot, that much was obvious, but in truth I couldn't have said no. An impossible choice to which the only possible answer is 'sure why not' because anything else gave you the kind of guilt that kept you up at night, right?

My father had been worse and better than I imagined he'd be. I could have put it up to the shock of me being different than he'd expected, or maybe he just needed me to act a certain way. Needed to push me into helping Rei.

But, now I'd do it again, and with that in mind the light posts and storefronts passing by the windows of a car that looked like it predated manned space flight weren't as much of a concern. Three hundred years ago everyone was driving these things and mankind still survived, right?

"You alright Natsu?"

I blinked and looked back to the driver. "What? Oh... Sorry, I was just thinking about things," I admitted. Lots of things, thinking about you, Misato. But then I would have done better to keep that to myself.

We all had our reasons, and I still had mine. I could let her have hers too.

And, I supposed that after a fashion I could understand some of the appeal of her car. Even as a passenger there was a certain engagement with something that had no computer assistance, no automation, something purely mechanical; iron, steel, and leather.

The smell of burning ethanol was familiar, even if the method in which it was burned was a new one. It had a certain realness to it, familiarity that grounded me into the moment. I was on Earth. I was in a car. I was with a woman who'd loaned me yet another skirt, yet another blouse, and yet another hair clip, yet another pair of heeled shoes.

If I hadn't lost everything on the station when it went up, I'd have had things more in line with my own style, though Misato's style had a way of ensuring there was no ambiguity in the perception strangers would have of me.

I was lucky enough that we were close enough to wear the same sizes, though her shirts were a little looser on me. That my bra hadn't been destroyed during my little space walk was a favor in this regard.

"Well, if you're done thinking about things, we're here, and we're just in time." She was smiling now, a true smile that seemed to radiate joy. Whatever this was, she was certainly excited about it.

The excitement was... infectious.

I heard her door open and I reached down to open my own. While I'd never ridden in a car before, the door controls were nothing if not entirely intuitive. The clicking 'thunk' of the lock bolt disengaging was perceptible through the door handle and then it popped open.

Pushing myself onto my feet was a little more awkward, as my own balance wasn't really well practiced on heels or a full Earth gravity. A few slight wobbles and what could very well have turned into a pulled muscle later, I was standing behind the open door, just like she was.

We were on the top of a hill, or maybe a mountain. My geology terminology wasn't exactly precise, we didn't have this kind of thing up there. In front of the car was a railing and then a sheer drop, but it gave us a complete view of the city below.

It was different seeing it here, from the ground and with my own two eyes instead of on a display screen inside of a falling spaceship. It was... beautiful, in a way. Not a natural beauty like you'd find in nature, but as a monument to what people could accomplish it was... something else.

"There aren't a whole lot of chances to see something like this, but today is special. On days like this, the city stays in low power so... you get a chance to see..." She paused and looked at her phone, "and now it's time."

The sun passed behind the mountains on the far side of the city and suddenly it was not the brightest object in the sky. Above us the orbital ring took over that role and the reflected light was prismatic. A full rainbow of color across the sky at the moment of sunset, reflected down at the dark city. Low power she'd said, so there was no light pollution to mess up the effect.

Something I could never have seen on Ganymede.

"I know this isn't what you were hoping for, Natsu. I'm sorry that it couldn't have been what you wanted it to be. I wanted you to see this because... I wanted you to see that it doesn't all have to be bad. Things can be beautiful and... and things like this are worth fighting for." She put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

"I was already going to stay and fight. I have to, right? If you can do something, you have to, don't you?" I asked her, I felt my throat tightening up, tears threatening to fall at the corners of my eyes. I was trapped in this, that's what it felt like. I'd trapped myself.

"I've felt that way before. Even if you'd told me before you'd already made up your mind, I would still have brought you here. Every day we fight, every bad day we have... well, those carry us on through to the good days, to good things like this." Her voice hitched, she had some human limits after all, it seemed. She just took a little longer for the facade to fall than I did.

I felt a smile pulling at the corner of my mouth. "Well, you're right, it wasn't what I wanted it to be. But it could have been worse. By my count you and Aoba saved my life twice. I suppose I'm lucky I met the two of you."

I heard a snicker and she squeezed my shoulder a little tighter before letting go. "I suppose this means you forgive me for the space walk?"

I turned to look at her as my grin split my face from ear to ear and shook my head, "Not for the rest of your life, Misato."

She sighed and stared down at the ground in faux-dejection, "Ah... I guess I'll have to carry that burden to my grave. I suppose I'll have to make it up to you. You're going to need a place to live while you're here, right?"

I narrowed my eyes, I sensed a scheme brewing under that purple hair. "I suppose so... I was going to try to rent close to the base I guess," I answered back.

She shook her head, "Nonsense! You can stay with me! After all, it's not like you know anyone else around here, right?"

Of course, there was my father, but somehow that felt like a non-starter. "I know Aoba and Ibuki."

She snickered, "Wow, you do work fast don't you, Natsu? I can't say either of them are a bad pick but don't you think you should go on a few dates before you try moving in with one of them?"

My cheeks turned red before I could come up with a retort, as she'd likely planned. "a-and you're any better, offering me to move in just like that, Misato!?"

She put her hand to her chest and pretended to be offended, because of course she would. "Who, me? I was just offering from the kindness deep in my heart. I thought we were close enough for that, Natsu. Just two good friends sharing an apartment! You wound me!"

I sighed, "Fine, you win. For now." Honestly, there were worse people to live with, and if she was offering... well, maybe it wouldn't cost me as much as I'd planned on spending?

"Great! We can go there now, it's not a long drive. And you don't have to worry, I'm not into girls. Well... There was that one time in college but that doesn't really count."

"I'm feeling better already."

xxx​

Just like that, I'd spoken too soon. The ride back was pleasant, I'd largely gotten over my hangups about the ancient mode of transportation, after all as she'd said, I'd survived worse.

I wasn't sure I would survive what lie before me. Take-out boxes and trash bags and clothing, endless clothing covered every possible surface, to such a degree that I couldn't be sure how much actual furniture was in the room and how much was just clothes draped over trash.

"This is just incredible, Misato."

She seemed embarrassed, if only slightly, by my statement. "Well, you see, I don't get to clean as much as I'd like, especially with having been in space recently and--"

I blinked. Slowly. This wasn't cleaning as much as she'd like? "The only way to clean something like this is explosive decompression. Just what kind of lifestyle are you inviting me into?"

"One where you're so grateful for my hospitality that you clean up this mess?" She asked in response. She took a step deeper into the mess and I heard a disposable cup crunch under her foot.

My right hand locked into a fist and I heard my wrist crack. I knew what she didn't know, that I wish I didn't know and wasn't bound by. I'd already accepted her offer of a place to live, and now that it was as much my home as hers I couldn't tolerate the messiness. I was not a compulsive cleaner but at this I felt like I might end up one.

Health and safety aside, I felt dirty even standing in the room, let alone living in it. No, she'd get a clean apartment, if only for my own peace of mind. I grit my teeth and relaxed my hand. This mess was going to take a lot of effort, and Earth gravity wasn't going to make it any easier.

"Alright, but you're helping. Recylers are going to get a work out tonight."

 

[JennyDracos]

Not much to this scene, really, just setup. I did like that Misato 'flashed' her scars to Natsu. "I know we're asking a lot, I know you're going to go through bad stuff. I know seeing the good times will help you during the bad times," and just a glimpse of Misato's nightmares.