Chapter Twenty-Nine - Ivarstead - 1st of Hearthfire 4E 201 - Umbra
Shroud Hearth Barrow, place of a thousand traps which were easily avoidable in the game by simply walking rather than running, was going to be different. I could feel it in my bones, in my muscles, in the back of my throat and deep down into my guts. Even as I took into account that the door of the Barrow wouldn't be trapped, I couldn't dismiss the option that someone would have set some new wires, some looser than most wooden steps from the ramp that lead down, or just about anything worthy of a trapped dungeon.
"Keep an eye out for wires or loose steps," I whispered as I opened the door and held the shield in front of me, "Don't go further than the light and don't step in the darkness. If a door's closed check the corners for wires."
"Umbra, you'll make me nervous if you keep being so nervous yourself," Berry replied as I took the first steps down the wooden ramp, keeping my back against the wall as the wood creaked beneath my feet, but still held on. I held the torch in my right hand, my left clutching my shield. Berry couldn't know, and how could I blame her? This Barrow, this seemingly innocent piece of rock placed atop a hill near Ivarstead was easy at first, but that was only if you knew the layout of the traps, and only if they followed game conventions.
If they didn't, if they had altered the lay of the place, placed more devastating ones, or just outright told the Draugr within to come popping out, then it wouldn't be that easy. A Draugr Priest could spawn from the depths of this place, and if it did, while it was true that it was an unmasked priest, it was still something I had no desire to face.
My eyes darted to the uneven floor that stretched in front of us, the mummified corpses of the Draugr across the walls remaining silent and immobile. I tried to strain my eyesight to find out the tiny holes from which poisonous darts would emerge, or spears would pop out. All I saw were the Draugr, and stone altars filled with offerings. The Draugrs all wore armor, if ancient and incomplete. Horned helmets lined their heads, and as I took the first shaky step inside, I felt the air shift.
It was imperceptible, but it was there all the same.
"Perhaps you could say something in dragon tongue to the effects of We come in peace, please don't kill us?" I whispered towards Berry, who huffed as she nimbly hopped past a wobbling stone.
"Don't know how that would work," Berry replied. "No self-respecting Dragon would ever say something like that. I don't think they have it in them to begin with."
On the plus side, the braziers we passed by were all lit, which made it easier to grab hold of a corpse and literally throw it amidst the flames to burn like ancient parchment.
"What are you doing!?" Berry hissed out, eyes wide. "You're desecrating their resting place!"
"Trust me," I replied quite calmly as I grabbed hold of another, "They wake up, they block our exit, we die. I know how this thing works, Berry. Quickly now, before they realize we're unto them and their dastardly ploy."
Berry groaned as she grabbed hold of a corpse on her side and pulled, making its head end up aflame atop the brazier. "I hope their spirits forgive us."
"If they don't, tell them I'm the one to blame," I replied. "They can come knock at my door."
Once the corridor was clear, and we had already moved on, half a dozen splits in the road welcomed our sights as the ground kept descending downwards, in a sort of spiral-like complex of tunnels that reeked of death and decay. Each split with corridors held on to alcoves in the walls, and each alcove had corpses in it.
"It stinks," Berry whispered as I kept walking downwards. "Should the air even be like this? Smell of blood's fresh."
"You sure about that?" I asked as I came to a halt at the only intersection that truly mattered. It was the one with four levers, all old and decrepit, all a step away from shattering, and most importantly, to be pulled in order.
The altar in the middle of the intersection had a couple of lit candles, and a few books lined up neatly in a corner. As Berry drew near, she emitted an undignified squawk-like noise. I turned to look at her, and in answer she simply stared down at the book's titles, which caught my attention for the first time.
Fifty Shades of Night, by Nightshade
I belatedly opened the first page, the dreadful feeling sinking into my stomach as I read through the carefully inscribed words in a calligraphy I could not help but recognize as my own. I had actually written this book by hand. Oh for the love of the Divines, I had even autographed it!
The awaited sequel to Fifty Shades of Sunset, meant only for those who seek to warm the cold of their tomb with the warmth of a throbbing heart. Beware reader, for things happen upon these pages that might drench you in... I closed the book with a snap. "Porn," I choked out. "It's porn!"
"I know," Berry snapped back, "Why is there porn in a crypt? You think they..." she gestured back, clearly implying the corpses, "Wake up, gather round, and then start reading it?"
"The image is horrifying," I said flatly, morbidly curious as I glanced at the other books. "Fifty Shades of Sunset, Playful Tomb, The Vampire Diaries...Interview with a Vampire, Of Blood and Chains...uh, the last one seems new," I opened it briefly, and then closed it sharply once more. "No. I did not write that. I refuse to believe I wrote that."
"You...did what?" Berry asked as I quite calmly put the book back in the pile and coughed in my closed palm. I sharply turned towards the levers and pulled them in order, "Oi, Umbra, I asked you a question. You wrote those books?"
"I did not, no, not at all, why would I ever write things like that? No. I mean, I know fully well that these sort of things sell no matter the place, but to think I'd write that sort of things...can't remember it, so I didn't do it," I shook my head fiercely as I stepped away from the intersection since it had both sides caved in, returning to the previous one where indeed, the metallic grates that had barred our path prior were now open, but that at the same time barred the path outside.
"So you wrote porn," Berry asked. "How does an author of smut centered on undead transform into a crusader of the Divines?" she playfully remarked, as if forgetting that we were in the middle of a death-trap Barrow filled with nothing but death, the dead and potentially soon to be joined by us both.
"Amnesia," I replied as my shoulder itched, and as I shrugged my shield arm, my right foot hit a tripwire I hadn't seen, shattering it as a spear launched itself with the strength of a javelin against my left side. The tip impacted against the shield and was deflected, the impact sending me to spin round as a second javelin rushed forth from behind me, my spinning intercepting it with my shield once more as I fell down to my knees, avoiding the third and fourth javelin that passed an inch away from my nose.
I took a deep, shaky breath, and then stared straight at Berry's wide-eyed form.
"This is why I hate this place," I hissed out, swallowing nervously as I pushed myself out from the mass of javelins firmly planted on the ground. To hell with poisoned darts, whoever had crafted the traps had decided that darts were for children, and javelins with sharp steel tips were the way to go.
Berry sighed as she reached for my side, extending her hand to pull me back up. I gripped it and stood up, staring the next second at the pile of javelins that had sunk their tips in the ground. I grabbed one, and held it with both of my hands. "I shall dub you Pathseeker, and you shall prod the ground for me," I declared quite pompously, before bringing it as far in front of me as I could, letting its tip touch the ground as I began to walk behind it.
Not two steps later, Pathseeker was broken by a large weight falling upon its head, the rock the size of an armchair. As I turned to walk back and get another, Berry extended one of the javelins, much to my surprise.
"I can catch a hint too," Berry said dryly, the other javelins firmly in her arms.
There was something missing from all of this, and I already knew what it was. We hadn't met the ghost of Wyndellus, Wyndelmus...whatever his name was. He was the one supposed to be inhabiting this crypt, but he wasn't. Since he was a raider of tombs, I was chalking up the porn found on the altar to him, but I did have a deep premonition it wasn't his. After all, if you're a vampire and you're seeking a place to rest for the day, what's better than a haunted crypt?
I was hoping the Vampire would be asleep while we went for Wyndellus, Wynellus, Wyn-something's diary. Once we had that, we could leave. Of course, knowing the Divines, we'd have no choice but to venture deeper into the hellish Barrow in order to face off the unnamed Dragon Priest that would spawn if one was of a higher level, and which meant that said Dragon Priest was, indeed, within this Barrow.
The air itself tingled against my skin as the second javelin met a gruesome end at the hands of a stream of fire, and the third one shattered once wicked steel spheres covered in sharp tips rotated in the air and truncated the shaft in half.
"This is the last javelin," Berry whispered as we passed through the last trap, revealing a barred gate with a smug-looking lever by the left of it, quite easy to pull just like its counterpart on the other side of the gate, if one were but to extend his hand through.
I grabbed the javelin, and then pushed it through the opening in the gate to enact Archimedes' greatest invention, pulling down the chain through its end-ring, opening the gate and shattering thus the last javelin.
We passed without accident, entering a circular room that had two doors. One of metal, and the other clearly covered with gold etchings that made it pretty clear it was the path for the Sapphire Claw's socket. The other door instead would lead us to Wynny-whatever, or the Vampire if the worst possible theory turned out to be true. Course, the Vampire could have simply powered through the village and headed for the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary in Falkreath. There was no reason it would dally around more than one night, and it had already done so the night before so...
We would only find the remains of Wynny the Dellus, and nothing more.
I swallowed nervously as I extended a hand to push the door open, clutching on to my sword the next and hoisting my shield up, already dreading the end result. Berry nocked an arrow on her bowstring, the shift in atmosphere clearly palpable as I began to slowly walk my way upon the unlit corridor, if not for a fireplace located in the room past it, where a broth of sorts was cooking as a coffin rested against the wall, firmly closed.
The ghostly adventurer was waiting by the fire, and his corpse was instead standing in a corner thoroughly defiled and lacking many of its limbs.
"G-Ghost," Berry hissed, and I simply nodded curtly. I looked at her, and then gestured at the books that stood upon the counter inside the room.
"Diary," I mouthed out, "Of Wynd...something," I continued. "Fetch, then..." I made a curt hand gesture that easily translated with We run out of here and fuck this shit we're out.
Berry crossed her eyes as she looked at me, shaking her head and making a curt Are you kidding? We promised we'd help!
I replied with a mouthed "Vampire," and an easy to understand sign that meant We're in over our heads fuck this shit we don't even have silver or crosses and we're not staying a moment more in this place if we can avoid it and fuck it Berry don't go, Berry? Berry stop. Berry, listen, the book's on the left not the right why are you going towards the Ghost Berry, they're ghosts Berry, you can't hit Ghosts with a puny dagger and hope it works in killing them Berry, Berry I hope to God you got the Multiply By Thirty Perk on Dagger Damage or we're dead Berry, Dead!
Berry's dagger passed through the ghost, and did absolutely nothing.
Good Divines up in the heavens, are you telling me that Ghosts need silver weapons like in Oblivion to deal with them here? Oh no you're not. You're not telling me this shit. I don't have silver on my body. I don't.
The Ghost turned, and the moment it did there was little choice but to rush forth and slam my steel sword straight through the coffin's lid, slamming it down on the ground and landing roughly atop it to hold it still.
"Fire!" I snarled, "Use magic!" as soon as I said that, the coffin began to tremble and shake beneath me, but I held on. "Move it, Berry!" I snarled, "Fire on the Ghost!"
Berry actually screamed as a pale ghastly hand pushed through her chest, even as she jumped back, letting go of her bow and slamming both of her hands forward, jets of fire streaming out to hit the ghost and cover its frame in pale flames.
The humanoid ghost screamed as it lashed out with a sudden blast of ice, snuffing the flames off its body and turning its evil glare in my direction. I gritted my teeth, and held on to the sword with both hands. "Berryyyyyy," I whined, "Keep on firing!"
Small spluttering jets left Berry's hands, but the ghost aptly dodged them as it lashed out for me, its right hand coming straight for my face with its lips morphing in a cruel smirk. I gasped and shuddered as I lowered my head instinctively, the fingers passing through my body and making me feel cold, icy cold. It was if life ended where the cold began, as if the Void and the Darkness were everlasting presences, as if there were hungry eyes staring into the depths of an abyss of pain and hatred, and the tiny flames of life were all that could help in staving off the hunger and the gnawing destruction that lurked deep within.
The shuddering feeling I had passed as a blast of hot concentrated fire struck the ghost and made it scream once more, flying off my back and towards Berry once more. This time though the Nord girl roared, and her roar was the Fus of strength.
It worked.
The Ghost balked as its being was literally ripped asunder by a mixture of power and fire, collapsing into shreds of ectoplasm which dripped on the floor in a small neat puddle.
The coffin below me kept shuddering and trembling, but I held on, "At my signal," I said, "Once you're ready," I continued, "You flame through the hole of my sword," I said towards Berry, who nodded shakily and neared, swallowing as I grabbed hold of the sword and at my nod, pulled it out only for flames to replace it.
The coffin shuddered a few more seconds, and then stilled as it caught on fire. I hissed as I felt the wood creak, but did not let go until it stopped trembling.
The moment it did was the moment I stood up, watching the small makeshift pyre burn in the corner of the room. I had burns on my legs, and my breathing was shaky as I felt my back itch from where the ghost had touched it.
"We did it," I whispered in awe, collapsing my back against the desk, chuckling loudly.
"We did it," Berry replied, laughing in turn and wiping the sweat off her brow.
"Oh? Can I ask what you two did?" a third voice asked, coming mellifluously from behind me as all the hair on the back of my neck rose, my soul shuddered and my entire being felt like the mouse caught by a giant, hungry tiger. I turned my head, and only then took in the full extension of the room, and the fact that the secret door that would have normally been closed was, in fact, open.
And from it a figure clothed with snug-looking dark robes stood, the crimson symbol of the Dark Brotherhood etched upon it, the skin pale and the eyes a dark glowing color.
The pyre cracked and broke, revealing the molten slag of a helmet and of the Draugr imprisoned within, acting as bait.
"H-Hello," I stammered out. "Sithis is our father too, so kindly let us not break any tenants, dear sister. I had no idea there was one of the Brotherhood working in this crypt."
"Oh?" the woman raised an eyebrow and then pushed a lock of her hair away to reveal her slightly pointed ears. She was Breton, definitely. Wait. Breton and a Vampire? Babette was supposed to be a child, but then again, she was also supposed to be a potion-maker and a three hundred years old Vampire, which...kind of made her capable of mastering all sorts of things if she really put her heart into it. It could be that the Dark Brotherhood had bigger numbers, it could be that she was just a Vampire who had stolen the clothes of a member, it could be anything, but the one thing I was sure of was that the Divines had sent me into this mess, so it was up to them to save me from it too.
"What is the color of the night, brother?" the vampire asked, and I blinked just once.
"Sanguine," I said.
"What is the flavor of fear?" she asked next, drawing closer as I calmly did the same, putting myself in between her and Berry, to whom I gestured with my left hand behind my back to run the hell away.
"Sublime," I remarked with a small smile. This one I knew. Thank the Divines this one I knew.
"The gift of death?" she asked, and I balked only briefly. it did start with an S too, and it did involve something quite hypocritical because...ah, yes.
"Solace," I snapped out, much to the Vampire's amusement as she came to a halt in front of me.
"The music of life is?" she asked, a strange sing-song quality to her voice now.
"Silence," I replied, and the Vampire's smile grew three times, showing off her fangs.
"And what is life's greatest illusion, oh dearest brother?" she asked with a suave voice, her lips puckered and trembling as her eyes seemed to dance with mirth. It was fascinating.
"Innocence," I said.
"So you have lived countless years, traveled countless places and visited sanctuaries far and wide both in geography and time even as you are so young?" Babette smirked, "I see," she giggled, shaking her head slowly, letting her hair cascade. "We both know where this is going, so..." she licked her lips, and it was the most sensual movement I had ever seen a woman make, even as she proceeded to lick her fangs too. "Let's not tarry too long, shall..."
"Fask!" one moment, Babette was at my height, and the next she was half-sunk in the ground, spluttering indignantly as Berry actually slammed the hot pot filled with human stew over her head to cover her upper side, much to my shock and surprise.
"Run!" Berry yelled, and I did so, but not before swiftly grabbing the philter of ghosts from the desk and what looked at first glance like Wyn's diary.
"What is..." Babette snarled, but my legs had already carried me away from the room, Berry rushing for the exit after altering the lever-mechanism to allow us to exit through the trap-filled corridor of before. We didn't stop.
Honestly, by the time we reached for the top of the corridor, my head had cleared out.
Vampires, not even once.
We emerged to the light of the day and rushed down the hill, coming to a halt only once we were at the bottom of it, the sun bright over our heads.
"We should be safe," I said, gasping for air. "She shouldn't come out during the day."
"We need to warn the villagers," Berry said, "Did your memories return or something?"
"No," I replied, "Just...I knew what to say." I chuckled nervously. "Gained time. You should have ditched me and ran."
"Not a chance. Who's going to suffer in my place if you're not there to take the first blows?" Berry retorted, playfully punching my shoulder and making me stumble slightly to the side. "We should tell the innkeeper," she continued, her face now serious, a grimace settling on her lips. "It's the only thing we can do."
"We could block the exit with big boulders," I pointed out. "Might stop her from leaving."
"That too," Berry said.
Hopefully, she wouldn't follow us up the seven thousand steps.
"Umbra, come back here! I thought we were role-playing the experienced master and the awkward neophyte being watched by the maid!" a shrill voice yelled at us from the top of the hill, and I froze. "Don't you cold turkey me!" the figure of an angry woman with her hands at her hips stood at the top of the hill, her hair matted with stew and her expression absolutely livid, even with the pallor of her flesh and the color of her eyes altered by what was, without a doubt, magic. Even her Dark Brotherhood robes had gone, replaced with a simple robe red in color, and with a cowl that was let down to reveal her hair.
"...Did I just hear correctly?" Berry asked, her face blossoming in a blush, "so that's why you knew what to say," Berry remarked from my side, looking away from me as if my mere presence was a sin upon the earth. "Why am I not surprised?"
"If we run, she's just going to follow me, isn't she?" I whispered back.
"I guess she's your ex or something?" Berry mused.
"Can I say that I do not look forward to this?" I hissed out, only for the vampire to wave a hand in my direction, and then disappear from sight only to reappear, utilizing what could best be described as teleportation, right in front of me. Her fingers pressed against my armor in a split second, and her lips parted as she gave me the most feral smile I had ever seen on a woman.
"I missed you so much, my little nibbling," the woman whispered huskily, and I actually began my subsonic vocalizations of the highly-pitched whining of aid. This sort of whine was supposed to bring forth aid in some manner, because I was not equipped to deal with this, and I definitely had no idea what Umbra had done in my place to cause this to happen.
"Uhm..." Berry hazarded, "He's got amnesia," she said, catching the vampire woman's attention. "He got hit in the head, doesn't remember anything of his past...and...well..." she swallowed, "Umbra, you take it from here on out."
My whine grew in pitch as I made some effort to subvocalize a stringent set of instructions that ranged from Please no to she's too close to my jugular for me to risk saying anything wrong. "H...Hell-ow!" I hissed as the vampire grabbed hold of my face and then proceeded to slam her forehead against mine, making me wince and clutch the point of impact as I gasped in pain.
"Do you remember me now?" the woman asked, quite worried about it.
"Aren't you supposed to be an alchemist!?" I snapped back, wincing as I heard the woman squeal happily and clutch on to my arm the next second.
"It worked!" the vampire smugly said. "I knew that our love would make you remember. Now let's get back inside, I'll show you around while we wait for the others to arrive. Tales and Tallows is going to be great this year too, I can just feel it!"
And as she proceeded to literally teleport me back inside, I extended a hand towards Berry, who stared wide-eyed at my face, which without a doubt showed a silent plead of help.
Berry, please come save me.
I don't want to play the firetruck-red light game with a Vampire, Berry!
