Do you think Shade is Cool?

  • I think he is frosty

  • What a chilling pun

  • Chillrend to the chest!

  • Freeze and don't you make a pun!

  • I have no mouth and I must I-scream


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Okay, @shadenight123 would you mind if you walk me through on Umbra's thoughts (not logic, because that has long left his mind since the beginning of the fic) on why he decided to pick up the several kilo heavy shrine of Julianos in the previous chapter?

Because it's really stretching my SoD badly, that randomly carting around a heavy piece of expensive masonry would have later been instrumental in defeating a dragon.
 
Okay, @shadenight123 would you mind if you walk me through on Umbra's thoughts (not logic, because that has long left his mind since the beginning of the fic) on why he decided to pick up the several kilo heavy shrine of Julianos in the previous chapter?

Because it's really stretching my SoD badly, that randomly carting around a heavy piece of expensive masonry would have later been instrumental in defeating a dragon.

Divine Providence? The Gods wills it? Undiagnosed Skooma poisoning?
 
I am pretty sure that he picked up one of the smaller shrines that the priests in Skyrim put on little stands out in the wilderness.
 
Julianos was the true MVP in this chapter. Sure, he committed friendly fire, but he still got the last hit on the boss.

Wait, t just means he is a fucking kill-stealer.
 
Okay, @shadenight123 would you mind if you walk me through on Umbra's thoughts (not logic, because that has long left his mind since the beginning of the fic) on why he decided to pick up the several kilo heavy shrine of Julianos in the previous chapter?

Because it's really stretching my SoD badly, that randomly carting around a heavy piece of expensive masonry would have later been instrumental in defeating a dragon.

When you're on a mission from the Gods and find a seemingly easy to carry piece of them with a conveniently placed horse nearby to carry it most of the way without fatigue what would be your first line of thought?

You need to play more point and click adventures, Defenestrator.

The monkey is meant to open the valve because it's called monkey wrench, isn't it? Isn't it?!
 
More like Text Adventure or Zork, where if you don't loot everything not nailed down and carry it with you, you won't solve the puzzle to aquire the lamp to explore dark rooms without being eaten.

The lamp itself being in a dark room that is only illuminated by burning old playboys in a seperate room that has an opening to allow light into the room with the lamp.
 
When you're on a mission from the Gods and find a seemingly easy to carry piece of them with a conveniently placed horse nearby to carry it most of the way without fatigue what would be your first line of thought?

You need to play more point and click adventures, Defenestrator.

The monkey is meant to open the valve because it's called monkey wrench, isn't it? Isn't it?!
Next time I ever have plumbing problems, I'm throwing ALL the chimpanzees. They'll probably use CHIM to figure it out.
 
When you're on a mission from the Gods and find a seemingly easy to carry piece of them with a conveniently placed horse nearby to carry it most of the way without fatigue what would be your first line of thought?

You need to play more point and click adventures, Defenestrator.

The monkey is meant to open the valve because it's called monkey wrench, isn't it? Isn't it?!

Shame the blessing doesn't work like ingame. I bet that being able to pray to cure all disease would be very useful.
 
This dragon was surprisingly easy to kill, but again, it wasn't a named one.

Contrast with Mirmulnir in Whiterun, who took a lot of arrows from the guards/Willow, an orc with an ebony axe cutting his wings up and concentrated magic fire from all of Umbra's siblings.

That said, if Umbra remembers enough of this fight to tell the tale later, there's no way people can deny divine providence. Too much stuff aligning at just the right time involving the same piece of ebony.
 
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Contrast with Mirmulnir in Whiterun, who took a lot of arrows from the guards/Willow, an orc with an ebony axe cutting his wings up and concentrated magic fire from all of Umbra's siblings.
Mirmulnir also was one of the few dragons to evade the Blades for centuries, he would have effectively been an Ancient Dragon if it wasn't for game balance reasons.
 
Mirmulnir also was one of the few dragons to evade the Blades for centuries, he would have effectively been an Ancient Dragon if it wasn't for game balance reasons.
Dragons are very metaphysical, I don't think you become powerful by running away and hiding for centuries. A Dov and their Thu'um are what they do.
 
I think Jul old boy during this latest update said; "STOP PRAYING TO ME YOU FANATIC!! I WILL FIX YOUR PROBLEM THIS. ONE. FUCKING!! TIME!!!"

And thus Umbra got Divine Intervention.
 
Chapter Twenty-Seven - Wilderness - 31th of Last Seed 4E 201 - Umbra
Chapter Twenty-Seven - Wilderness - 31th of Last Seed 4E 201 - Umbra

If eating cheese worked in sealing wounds, the world would be a better place. There were no potions to drink, but the blood flow had stopped. I took deep and shaky breaths as I wrangled out what strength I had left in my limbs to make it easier for Berry to drag me on. Behind us, the heated air of the inferno was spreading, the tongues of fire dancing across the treetops seemed to have a life of their own as they devoured and nimbly moved on to their next meal as soon as the lush green had been replaced with charcoal black.

The river gurgled by our side, but the stream was quick and relentless and while Berry could have swam on the other side, I wouldn't have managed the feat. There was nothing to it. Eventually the fire would outrun us, and when it did, we'd end up burning to our deaths.

"Fus," Berry whispered as she suddenly pulled me on her back, gritting her teeth all the while. "You're heavy," she snapped next, wincing, "Fus," she exhaled out once more, steadying herself as she began to walk. I crossed my arms around her shoulders, the scene quite comical if not for the utmost effort Berry was putting in holding me on her back, her continuous whispering of the word Fus either giving her courage, or actually giving her the strength needed to lift me on her back.

She began to jog, her breathing uneven and yet her expression clearly determined. "Fus, Fus, Fus, Fus, Fus," she kept on muttering like a train puffing out clouds of smoke, and I was truly tempted to make the sharp whistle sound to accompany it, but I realized it wasn't the time, the place, and I actually wasn't going to distract Berry when she was the one hauling my ass to safety.

I was honestly surprised it was working, or that there wasn't a recharge time tied to it. The ground shook beneath Berry's feet as each of her steps seemed to have the strength of a troll at first, and then seemed to go from there in an increasing tempo as we left behind us the infernal forest fire, Ivarstead's village appearing over the horizon. It was still a fair distance away, but we'd reach it before nightfall if Berry kept going at the current pace.

Obviously hope was the first step on the road to disappointment, because Berry abruptly stopped running, made a few more wobbling steps, and then fell face first on the ground. My body ended up thrown off and rolled to halt a short distance away as pain that had remained as a dull throb abruptly spiked back up.

"You still alive?" I croaked, receiving no reply from the fallen Berry, who seemed to have lost consciousness, or had perhaps a strange desire to sleep face-down against the ground. I rolled on my stomach, and crawled my way to her side before pushing on my arms to get back up on my two shaking legs. I winced, and then took a deep breath. I closed my eyes. The noise of the river mixed with the roar of the far away flames, the few birds that still flew in the air where shrilly shrieking, and my horse was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Berry's.

Stupid horses and their glitchy pathfinding behavior.

"Make the pain end," Berry groaned with her voice muffled by the dirt.

I chuckled at that, "Silly Berry," I hissed out, "Pain never ends."

Berry remained face down for a few more minutes, and then finally got back on her own two feet. With a tired smile on my part and a look of sad realization on hers, we both began to wobble on the road side by side.

"Can't feel my legs," Berry hissed, "Only hurt."

"Yeah," I said in reply. "My body is made of hurt instead," I quipped dryly. "Want to swap?"

"I should have left you back in the middle of the fire," Berry grumbled, "How are you even walking right now? The dragon did a number on you, didn't it?"

"Tis only a flesh wound," I said as cold sweat dripped down from my forehead and slithered across my back, "Sharrum's painful beatings must have served their purpose."

Berry shook her head, "If you say so. We lost our provisions and our horses," she muttered. "We'll need to buy food for the trek." She moved the back of her hand against her mouth, wiping her lips before swallowing whatever was in her mouth, a grimace forming on her face. The next instant, she lurched down as her mouth opened to release a thick stream of vomit and blood, which made her shiver and tremble as she stopped her trek, gasping hoarsely for air.

"There goes your breakfast," I said as I wobbled towards her, grabbing hold of her hair and holding it back, "Nerves failing our proud Berry?"

"It's not nerves," Berry hissed through clenched teeth, her hands clutching on to her knees. "It's just...not nerves."

Our wobbling resumed at quite the sedated pace, and as the sun rose in the sky and then began to descend, Ivarstead welcomed us in the middle of the night, with more than one patrol turning to stare at us march towards the inn with the look of people who wanted to ask something, but were held back by the acknowledgment that we were working on sheer willpower to reach for a bed.

We were also soaked in blood, which was either our own or the dragon's. Probably a mixture of the two, all things said. I was the one who knocked at the door of the inn, which surprisingly wasn't Vilemyr, because there was more than one inn and definitely more than a few houses. It looked like a typical mountain village of the alps if I had to be honest, which meant more than one row of houses placed on more than one spot all of which accessible through stairs, muddy slopes, and dirty snow mounds at the corners of the streets.

The only things that remained pretty much the same were the bridges, the streams of water, and what looked like a giant stone tomb located at the top of an hill overlooking the entire place, and from which strange lights seemed to be coming out of.

The innkeeper was a burly Nord who gave one look at us, and would have probably closed the door on our faces had I not spoken quickly enough. "Blood's of bandits," I croaked out, "We kept our money. A room?"

"Got one," the man said. "Ten Septims, and no funny business."

"Only business I want is with sleep," I grunted out as I filched my pouch, pulling out thirty septims because all in all, it was the middle of the night and nothing transforms a pissed-off man into a welcoming one like the sound of money. "And with whatever remains of dinner you haven't thrown away yet."

The man nodded and pocketed the septims, allowing us both entrance and gesturing at a bench near the dying embers of the fire. The room inside was warm, so warm that my flesh seemed to crack under the abrupt change in temperature. My eyes watered as my buttocks —because I was such a charming prince I would never think of my beautiful derriere as an ass— sat down on the bench.

We were served cold roast and whole potatoes, and we were both famished enough that we didn't care about peeling the potatoes, or being picky about anything really. By the time I washed everything down with the beer the innkeeper had brought us, I was ready to fall asleep in whatever sort of corner he had found for us in his inn. It turned out that he had pretty nicely left another pillow and an extra thick wool sheet for one of us to sleep on the floor.

I didn't bother saying a word as I crawled beneath the sheet and closed my eyes, letting my head rest on the fluffiness of the pillow with a contented sigh. The floor wasn't even too hard, but as I turned my head and glanced at what hid beneath the bed, I couldn't help but blink.

Amidst the dust and the gathering dirt that always hid beneath beds stood a small thing glinting of copper and with a central azure bead that seemed glass at a first glance, but was probably some form of pretty gemstone whose name eluded me.

It was a round, flat surface if not for the bauble, and seemed to hold on to quite a complex design on its frame, with four juxtaposed oval-shaped frames of copper as if to signal the four cardinal directions. It could be a magic compass, all things said and done, but I was pretty sure it was simply some form of cheap souvenir crafted by the local folks. Although it did look awfully familiar, and as I extended a hand to grab hold of it and brought it closer to examine it, I could hear the shifting of Berry's body on the bed by my side.

"You're not bleeding, are you?" Berry asked, "Not going to wake up to a corpse in the room, am I?"

"Please," I rolled my eyes, "Eating food restores health, everyone knows that."

"That's...not true, but maybe mad people work differently," Berry mumbled. "See you in the morning."

"Good night, Berry-Berry," I hummed as I closed my eyes.

The next instant, I received a pillow on my face which made me splutter and sharply stand up to sit, only to wince from the sudden pain that spread throughout my entire body at the motion I had just done. "Gah!" was my hissed out reply to the affront I had suffered.

"No nicknaming," Berry said, her eyes narrow and her expression firm and oddly determined.

"B-v-erry well," I replied nonchalantly with the calmest face I could make.

The second swing of the pillow caught me, but still I did not appear chastised properly, because it was followed by a third one before Berry felt satisfied and avenged, propping her pillow back on her bed. "Next time it's an arrow in your ass," she warned as she gave me her back, covering herself up with the wool bed sheets and, after a short amount of time, falling asleep peacefully.

I pocketed the flat circular bauble and sighed.

Another dreamless night awaited me, but as I closed my eyes, my body froze from the sound of a song that came from just outside the window, out in the middle of the streets deserted at night.

"Twinkle twinkle little star..."

I did not sleep that night.

And I did not dare look outside the window.

There's one such thing as chance, and then there's one such thing as godly design.

Apparently, I now understood why Umbra would blaspheme so loudly.

Gods, listen, let's decide on a time-frame between one painful thing and the other, all right? One week between life-risking events, because let's be honest, if I weren't picking up the cues, I'd already be dead by now, wouldn't I?

I am not worthy of so much attention.

Take Berry! She's the protagonist with the special soul, not me!
 
It was a round, flat surface if not for the bauble, and seemed to hold on to quite a complex design on its frame, with four juxtaposed oval-shaped frames of copper as if to signal the four cardinal directions. It could be a magic compass, all things said and done, but I was pretty sure it was simply some form of cheap souvenir crafted by the local folks. Although it did look awfully familiar, and as I extended a hand to grab hold of it and brought it closer to examine it, I could hear the shifting of Berry's body on the bed by my side.

Honestly can't work out what this could be.
Kinda sounds like a standard Skyrim Jeweled Necklace without the string, but there are none with copper and azure in them and no unique ones that look like it either.

Edit: Amulet of Mara! Found it!
 
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Umbra's being stalked by an Ex-Girlfriend.

I theorize the former Umbra had Shade's memories up until Elder Scrolls was first released and had a different opinion on whether a Vampire would make a good waifu.

Edit: Or he at least considered it preferable to being her meal.
 
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Umbra's being stalked by an Ex-Girlfriend.

I theorize the former Umbra had Shade's memories up until Elder Scrolls was first released and had a different opinion on whether a Vampire would make a good waifu.

Edit: Or he at least considered it preferable to being her meal.

Oh dear. A spurned vampire ex-girlfriend, finding her beloved Umbra sleeping in the same room as another girl, while he has an Amulet of Mara right there in the room? Oh dear indeed.
 
Oh dear. A spurned vampire ex-girlfriend, finding her beloved Umbra sleeping in the same room as another girl, while he has an Amulet of Mara right there in the room? Oh dear indeed.
And right after having a pillow fight with the other woman girl, does that man have no shame? She was the only one who should have heard his "Voice of the Emperor" after all....
 
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Chapter Twenty-Eight - Ivarstead - 1st of Hearthfire 4E 201 - Umbra
Chapter Twenty-Eight - Ivarstead - 1st of Hearthfire 4E 201 - Umbra

I woke up to the noise of the patrons of the inn, and to the rustling of clothes being worn in the room. I slowly got up and rubbed my eyes, yawning quite loudly as my back creaked from the night spent on the floor. "We should get your wounds checked," Berry's voice reached me as a soft whisper as I winced while wobbling to my feet. She looked as fresh as ever, while I probably was knocking heavily at death's door.

"I'll go look for an alchemist," Berry said, "You should wait here."

I shook my head, "If I can walk, then it means I have to," I acquiesced. "Also," I smiled, "I think Ivarstead doesn't have an alchemist. At most it has a Draugr-infested tomb atop the hill," I coughed out, "Which is probably our best bet in finding potions."

"You sure about that?" Berry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Pretty sure," I replied, "But you can ask the innkeeper. Perhaps I'm wrong, after all."

I wasn't wrong. I wasn't wrong, but I did sincerely wish I would be proven wrong in some form or the other. The innkeeper did direct us to Wilhelm first though, and as we stepped inside the Vilemyr inn, I realized just how packed a room could be. There were a lot of people hollering and yelling at a nearby table, "We need to do something!" one of them barked, but the innkeeper didn't seem bothered by it as we neared his counter.

"Don't mind the ruckus," the bald man spoke roughly, his expression tightly controlled. "There's been a murder last night and the townsfolk are on edge."

"My friend here got hurt pretty badly fighting bandits," Berry said while pointing at me, "You don't happen to have any potions for sale, do you?"

Wilhelm did, surprisingly, have some potions to sell. The price was steep, and by the time I gulped down the single one we could afford and still have money left to buy provisions for the trip up the seven thousand steps. I gasped in relief, cracking my neck right and left as my insides stopped hurting. Whoever had crafted potions was truly to be kissed, and loved, and hugged, and told he or she was the best possible person in the world.

"Thank the Divines for potions," I muttered. I glanced at the hollering crowd mainly composed of Nords, though a couple of Bretons and Imperials seemed to be a part of it too. "Who died?" I asked.

"The town's madman," Wilhelm replied. "It's how he died that has people on edge," he shook his head. "I saw the war, but the way Narfi died...it wasn't anything I had seen before. It was as if a feral beast clawed him in pieces."

"Couldn't it have been a bear then?" I asked next, "You've got a bear problem around these parts, don't you?"

"We do, and if you heard Temba Wide-Arms, you'd believe bears were the reason for everything wrong in the world," Wilhelm said dryly, "But no beast would make knots out of an intestine and write in blood on the floor its length, nor nail Narfi's face to the door."

I grimaced and shuddered, "That's...horrifying," I brought a hand to my mouth and swallowed, trying to keep last night's dinner inside.

"Must be the Barrow's ghosts," Wilhelm said. "It doesn't bode well, not with Tales and Tallows coming up in just two days," he grimaced. "Whole town's on edge," he continued. "Visitors and pilgrims are ready to run away, and it wouldn't be good for what little business Ivarstead has." He sighed, and then looked at us two. I knew that look. I knew that look, and it came coupled with a bright yellow exclamation mark on his head, or it would have had this been a massive multiplayer online game. "You two look like the adventurer sort."

"We do, but we have to climb the seven thousand steps quite urgently," I said quickly, "Matters of life and death, truly," I turned to look at Berry, only for her to look back at me. "What?"

"We do need money for the provisions, and thicker clothes, and armor," she replied. "Isn't this one of those times where you usually push me into this head-first?"

I sucked air in sharply, and then nodded, though my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. "Course it is," I said, "Course it's something like this," I chuckled grimly, passing a hand through my hair. "Very well then," I turned towards WIlhelm. "You said you saw the war so...you still got your armor from when you served?"

"Aye," Wilhelm said. "I'll add in to that a few hundred septims pitched in from the townsfolk. They'll all be glad someone's taking a look at it. The last adventurer who went inside never came back, but maybe if two step in one might come out and explain what's happening in there."

I chuckled, "Joy," I had vague memories of Shroud Hearth Barrow, but I did remember one thing about it. I remembered one very important thing about it.

The traps.

I filched out the small circular bauble and huffed as I glanced at the cerulean gemstone within the center of its frame. Under the light of the morning, I now did recognize the amulet in question, or at least, the piece of it that remained since it was without chain. "Very well," I said. "We'll get to it while the sun's high in the sky." I took a small breath, and then blinked. "By the by, before we get to it, is there a certain Klimmek around these parts right now? Got something to tell him from Mara."

"Klimmek the fisherman? He's the bald one with the blond beard tied in a tail," Wilhelm's head gestured towards one of the men in the group. The man in question was wearing a light brown tunic and a white shirt beneath, green trousers completing the ensemble. Tied to his belt was a small ax, more properly used to gut fishes rather than men, but then again he was a fisherman and not a soldier of sorts.

I nodded and turned my back from the counter, "Also, some breakfast. Can't go face ghosts on an empty stomach," I said as I began to walk towards the man in question, stopping only once I came at arm's length. "Apologies for interrupting," I said, "I must speak with a certain Klimmek," as I said that, the fisherman in question turned to look at me, furrowing his brows.

"Do I know you?" he asked curtly.

"No, but it doesn't matter since I know you," I replied quite calmly. "Name's Umbra, and if possible I would like to speak with you in private. Won't take long, I guarantee it." I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"We're busy right now, Imperial," another Nord spoke gruffly, "Can't you see that?"

"I can see it," I replied, "Which is why, since my fellow and I most kindly decided to go look into your ghosts troubles for you folk, I have come here because before departure there was something else I needed to do. It won't take more than a couple of minutes, but since it's quite the sensible matter, I can't pretty much wave it around you fine folks."

Klimmek's eyes narrowed, but then he shrugged. "Ah, whatever. Let's go outside and I'll hear you out. Hope for your own sake it's not a waste of time."

"If it is, I'll make you forgive me with a round on my shoulders," I replied, receiving a scoff, but a small twitch of the lips from the fisherman. In the ancient realm of Nordic traditions, offering beer always worked in easing the souls weary and angry.

The chill morning air met my face as Klimmek crossed his arms and propped his shoulders against the wall just outside the Vilemyr inn. I pushed a hand through my hair, and then quite firmly spoke, "So, Klimmek, Mara's kind of wondering how long you're going to wait on it," I looked at him straight-on, "Fastred's been praying and so I've been sent to tell you to be honest with your feelings and just get a move on it and go confess. She'll need nothing else to return your love for her."

Klimmek's eyes widened briefly, "What? That's..."

"You're a fisherman, Klimmek. Do fishes hop out of the water and into your lap, or do you actually have to put the hook in the water and go out there to grab them with your nets? Come on, time's not stopping for anyone, go now, confess, and get on with it," I quipped with a grin. "You'll thank me later."

"Ysmir's beard...you're sure Fastred still...she still loves me?" Klimmek mouthed in disbelief, "Is this a joke at my expenses? Did Bassianus set it up?"

"Klimmek, Mara knows how much you are torn within, and so here I have been sent, to solve your problems. Now go, and go with Mara's blessing," I huffed as I pushed into his hands the amulet of Mara. "Get on with it man, fish's gonna swim off into the ocean if you don't hurry."

Klimmek swallowed as he looked down at the amulet, and then back up at me, "If it's true..." he murmured, and then smiled, "If it's true, I'll always have a spot at my table for you," and then he rushed off across the street with a speed unlike any others. I watched him go, and then sighed as I glanced up in the sky.

"You happy?" I mouthed to the sky, "Because I swear the Barrows are the last place I actually want to go right now," I continued mouthing towards the sky, "So if you'd cause an earthquake and destroy them, it would be nice."

I stepped back inside the inn with a sigh, and as I sat down at the table where Berry was, she gave me a look that could only be translated with a Come on, now explain. "I have done a service to one of the Divines," I replied dryly.

"That so?" Berry said, "Do they come to you in your dreams or do they actually speak to your ears alone?" she asked next.

"I wish they'd do that," I said with a drawn-out sigh, "They simply put things in my path that I must gather and then relinquish. If I find a key, then I must keep it and use it to open a lock further down the road, and so on."

"Right," Berry said, "So what's keeping you from palming a fork?" she asked next, gesturing at the wooden fork set in front of me, which could be used to pierce the tough-looking bread and dip it into the large bowl of milk that was probably our breakfast.

"You shouldn't underestimate the power of a fork," I replied with a smirk. "Who knows when a fork thrust in the right place and time can make the difference between life and death?" I quite gingerly picked the fork up, "everyone's weak in the eyes after all," I continued, "You don't need a sword to stab someone in the eye, a fork will suffice."

"Did you remember something from your past?" Berry asked warily, "Because this chat about forks and eyes is eerily similar to the one your eldest sister gave me before departure."

I blinked, "Willow said something?"

"Yes, and that is why I'm not going to repeat it, because I feel like she'd keep her word on what she'd do if I broke mine," Berry said, and then gingerly pushed her bread in the bowl of hot milk, taking a nice munch out of it a few seconds later.

"You horrible tease," I replied with a defeated sigh as I dipped my own bread into the milk bowl.

Also, once we were done, I actually did steal the wooden fork.

One could never know, and as long as it wasn't bolted on the floor...

Clearly, the developers intended for it to be taken like this!
 
Hmm... wasn't the madman (Narfi?) one of the first people you need to kill for the Dark brotherhood ingame? Maybe the vampire isn't stalking Umbra at all and was just on her way to fulfill a contract.

Berry probably wouldn't join the Dark Brotherhood, so someone else has to fill the role as Listener.

Edit: This makes me wonder who the Archmage, Harbinger, and Thieves Guild Grandmaster are going to be.
 
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Hmm... wasn't the madman (Narfi?) one of the first people you need to kill for the Dark brotherhood ingame? Maybe the vampire isn't stalking Umbra at all and was just on her way to fulfill a contract.

Berry wouldn't join the Dark Brotherhood, so someone else has to fill the role as Listener.

Would fit with the Brotherhood MO as well.
For all the people who love the Dark Brotherhood (Myself included) they are a bunch of sadistic psychopaths who go out of their way to sow as much misery and pain as they can.
Such a brutal killing would be right up their alley.
 
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