FF2 Final Bill: $ 100,000,000 dollars.
----
Someone, somewhere out there hates you bitterly and has cursed you as a result.
It's undisputable you think, because there's no reason for nearly everything to have come apart at the seams so often in this movie's production cycle. If you were more paranoid, you'd suspect sabotage. And if you weren't so restrained, you'd have probably given Matanza a call and given him the self-created target of ire.
I mean-
It's just-
FUCK.
Even the stuff that went well took forever to get done right.
The pre-production? Took like four months outright, because you were so careful in the wake of all the storms and the new refugees from across Texas.
The production? You had to scrap damn near everything from the first run around and just start over six months later when you gave up trying to piece things together. Your post-production basically was the post-production of a post-production!
And Alba and Walker, they really didn't bring their A-game, to either production attempt. Honestly, fuck the both of them! How hard is it to act that you're in fucking love with someone else? Show some goddamn fucking chemistry, for once in your miserable lives!
Maybe you shouldn't have yelled that in their face though, because Vin got hot and Javier and Michelle had to pull everyone apart.
Fucking morons, all of them. You've half a mind to try and reboot on the third film and just recast the rolls, contractual agreements or no. Who cares if they have trilogy options stipulated in their contracts? You don't actually have to extend the deal and make a film with them!
Fucking morons, even that bald-headed behemoth of a LARPer...
"Man, you just cannot find a calm center, can you?" muttered Robert Rodriguez "Come on man, it's just a movie."
"It is not just a movie, Robbie." You shoot back as you pull out a box of cigarrettes and start rifling through "This franchise... it's my sole claim to legitimacy in the industry. It's the biggest thing I've ever made, ever directed."
"I know man, but taking up smokes and yelling at your stars isn't the way to go about things. Diesel's pretty much your shining star, for starters. And I've got half a mind to steal Bardem away from you, and I'm not the only one."
"You can fucking have the lot of them, Robbie. Ungrateful sons of bitches, you make a half billion dollar movie with them and they can't bring their fucking best when it matters?"
"Luck of the draw, dude. Luck of the fucking draw."
"Fuck them," you say with a dismissive wave of your hand "I don't want to talk about them anymore, those bastards. Tell me what's going on with you, man. Spy Kids has had you busy. I bet those child actors are easier to deal with."
"Yeah, but their parents can be right pains. Makes me want to go back to the old Mariachi films where all I had to deal with was making a movie on the cheap."
"Hooligans will be missed. Of course, Troublemaker isn't that much cleaner, is it? But seriously man, you happy to just keep doing Spy Kids?"
"It's paying the bills when I'm not working with Bill and the rest. And having the bills paid lets you daydream, Dario."
"And what is Robert Rodriguez dreaming about?"
"Honestly? TV."
You laugh at him.
"You're better than Hallmark movies, man. I mean it's fine for breaking in, but let's be real-"
"Not what I meant. You've got that percentage in Bravo, right?"
"Yeah, ten percent. Someone keeps calling my office offering to buy it, though."
"Well, let me ask you this: What's the last Latino tv show you saw in the US?"
"Latino? I guess I caught one of those telenovellas on Univision..."
"In English or Spanish?"
"Spanish, obviously."
"And the last time you saw a Latino show in English?"
"Uh... I don't think I ever have. Anybody that's worth a damn either goes to Mexico or does milk-white shit for the all-mighty whitey."
"Exactly. So what if someone did do something like that? Took Latino shows, Latino tropes and Latino culture and made it in English right here in the US?"
"I'd say they'd be throwing their money away. There isn't a market for it, in my opinion. Besides the Cubans, most Latinos aren't integrated that well into America. It's not exactly a profitable audience Robbie, and especially not when they can just watch stuff from home in Spanish."
"Hey, look at you and me-"
"Man, I'm Tejano all the way. My family's Texan before there even was a Texan."
"Yeah, but we're not exactly first-generation, are we? We're young, we're bilingual and we've got money. We're the future of Latinos in this country, man. A generation from now, Latino kids and grand-kids are gonna matter in a big way and those two generations are the ones that are gonna have the money to make it a market. There's already 35 million of us in the country according to the last census. If you don't think that number's gonna grow and get richer and get more spending money then you're crazy."
"So we start two generations from now then. Why are you even talking about this?"
"Because the earlier this starts, the better it proceeds. You and I are lucky in a lot of ways other people aren't man, and we have the ability to effect this sort of change."
"You want to use Bravo? Is that it?"
"No, man. I want to start small. Some local channel here in Texas, somewhere that broadcasts in the Hispanic areas. Get a few local celebrities to help promote it, bring over shows from Mexico and do our own. You cross the line from Cali to Texas when you could have tried to set up your Temple there, and I know it's because you see the same potential here that I do."
"Well the tax breaks didn't hurt."
"Come on man, you know you're liking the idea. A small cheap channel between the two of us, something that broadcasts to somewhere like El Paso. We start there, build our broadcast out slowly..."
"Neither one of us knows how to run a television channel. We also don't have the time."
"So we'll find someone who does!"
"You're incorrigible."
"And you're a cynic. Will you at least think about it?"
"... I'll think about it."
