Most Omnipotent Goddess (Bayonetta) (Jubileus SI) (yes, really)

[Mr. Cloak]

Ahh! When next do we see Jubi being hilarious?! Tell me!
BTW, love this story so much.

 

[Garreon]

Hey what fic where you talking about back then?

Click to shrink...

It was a worm fic with bayonetta-inspiration(so to speak), it used the look of the angels and demons from bayonetta, but its radically different. For instance, Paradiso actually represented the Good alignments, most of the Angels were Lawful Good.

The plot starts when Taylor is in the locker asking for help, so hard, her pleas are heard, in Paradiso, by the Visus Caritas, Cardinal Virtue of Charity, who decides to break the non involvement policy that was created when Scion appeared.
Taylor doesn't bond to QA and instead ends up as a Lumen Sage under Charitas.
Her cape name ending up as Savior, for being able to save several Protectorate Heroes, pregnant Battery included, when Panacea couldn't deal with a Biotinkered strain of some kind of brain eating thing.
Anyway there are more twists and turns, but it's sadly dead.
Even so, it is a great read. 10/10 for world building and development

Through Heaven's light [WormAU]

There is no magic on Earth Bet. But nothing says there is no magic anywhere else. Taylor...

forums.spacebattles.com

 

[Flairina]

My eyes widen as I gaze through the dimensional window I just created, and out upon the raging hurricane of violence currently ensuing on its other end. As I only made said window for the purposes of viewing, it isn't physically connected to the space in question — which was perhaps for the best, as the frenzied engagement is widespread enough that it takes me a couple seconds just to fully understand what I'm looking at.

The landscape I now find sprawled before me is a vast section of Purgatorio's sky, just a few hundred feet above an ocean of Earth-born clouds, currently cast in reddish-gold by the light of the setting sun. Angelic and demonic sigils alike have been scattered across the atmosphere, providing solid ground and purchase for the various combatants to engage each other upon — yet ironically, it's the only ones completely incapable of flight that seem to almost need them the least, as the muscular, four-armed, and startlingly quick demons I know to be Sloths flip and launch themselves across the battlefield like a group of fiendish acrobats. Opposing them are a disorganized flock of Affinities, several herds of Acceptances, a small fever of Harmonies, and a few other scattered angels, many with at least one translucent human soul in tow... and all of whom are presently completely unable to leave the area, owing to the massive infernal seal that's been laid over it, denying exit to those of Laguna trapped within its confines.

Alarmingly, the battle itself can only really be described as one by technicality — from what I'm seeing, it would be more accurate to describe it as a slaughter, and not one in favor of the angels. Despite being outnumbered at least 50 to 1, the speed, skill, and power of the Sloths so far exceeds that of most of their opposition that they might as well be fighting inanimate objects, the sextet of crimson blades each one wields carving bloody swathes through the skies. The only thing noticeably impeding their butchery is a small group of beings that I identify as Diligences — Second Sphere angels tasked with guarding against and countering this exact type of infernal incursion, a duty visually exemplified in how their seven ornamented arms and blades make them appear almost angelic mirrors of the Sloths. While they number far less than any of the aforementioned units, they're the only ones present that seem capable of fighting the demonic battalion on relatively equal footing, their multitude of limbs allowing them to easily parry the glowing energy crescents that rip from the edge of the Sloths' weapons, even whilst they rapidly close in to amputate the demons' own arms.

...and yet, that hardly matters, because while the Sloths don't appear able to compete with the Diligences one-on-one, massacring their opposition doesn't actually look to be their primary aim here. Even as I watch another Sloth lose its hands, it leaps away from the Diligence responsible, appendages already regrowing, and rips a human soul from an Acceptance's grasp. Bisecting the angel almost as an afterthought, the demon dives towards a sigil far below, where a writhing red fog is already beginning to form... and as it plunges down into the blood-like haze, the Sloth abruptly drops out of Purgatorio entirely. An instant later, it reappears, springing back onto the battlefield as though it never left.

Sans the soul it escaped with, that is, having already cast it down into Inferno.

I take all this in within the span of a few short moments, finding myself briefly struck speechless by the sight. I- I don't understand. With the non-interference rule, this shouldn't even be possible, should it?! The Sloths are demons, they literally can't enter Paradiso...!

Except... they aren't actually in Paradiso, now are they? They're in Purgatorio, the center of the trinity, from which all three "proper" members of it are possible to affect simultaneously. I doubt that the demons would be able to follow the angels much further off the surface of the planet, where the line between Purgatorio and Paradiso grows so thin as to barely exist, but that clearly isn't stopping them here and now...

And worse, the souls that they're tearing down from Heaven aren't just human ones.

As if in demonstration of this, a Sloth suddenly launches itself towards a group of Affinities, nicking each one with a different sword as it cartwheels past them. Though none of the cuts bite deeply enough to kill, that arguably might have been preferable — instead, the Affinities scream as their feathers rapidly begin to blacken, the touch of each unholy edge awakening sins in beings that by nature can only be pure. As the corruption finishes twisting their bodies and spirits alike, the newly-turned demons screech and turn on their former comrades, while the Sloth that tainted them snatches up the souls they were protecting, one in each arm as it turns to flee-

Only to be obliterated by the swipe of a wind-sheathed ribbon as I pass through the former view portal, having hastily converted it to a physical one, and stride onto the battlefield myself.

I think it's long past time that someone stepped in here.

Before my presence has even been fully registered by those present, I raise one arm, palm facing upward, and allow magic to erupt from my fingertips and ribbons alike. Righteous ire overcoming any hesitance I might have, the streams of power fountain up into the sky like geysers, curving and spiraling around one another like a volley of graceful, ethereal fireworks.

Then they all abruptly collide with each other, and judgment in countless forms begins to fall from on high.

A thousand-foot tongue of ice and lightning abruptly whips one Sloth out of existence, while hundreds of white-hot miniature meteors rain down upon another in a targeted bombardment. Those same meteors continue on past their initial mark to slam into three other demons, even as several more find themselves harried by globules of pale white water that calcify their flesh on contact, followed by sudden bursts of screeching wind that shatter the malformed statues left behind. Curving lasers of omnicolored light streak across the sky, unerringly tracking their infernal quarries before spearing them straight through their long-decayed hearts.

In barely the blink of an eye, the vast majority of the ambush force has fallen, their bodies exploding into orbs of demonic essence that scatter across the sigils below. Witnessing this nigh-instant eradication, the remaining demons turn tail as one, more scarlet fog spreading underfoot as they attempt to flee back to Inferno for good this time-

*!-!-SHHHNG-!-!*​

-only to run face-first into the angelic seal I replaced their own with on arrival, passage out of Purgatorio now utterly barred to them as a result.

To their credit, the surviving Sloths adjust to this revelation in a fraction of an instant. With escape no longer an option, they heft their blades like javelins and pitch them at the closest angels with enough force to render the weapons mere blurs, a clear last ditch attempt at accruing further casualties- but a flex of my will, and the hellish swords disintegrate into nothing mid-flight, becoming little more than dust on the wind.

...Christ, that was close. Probably should have made a point to do that first.

Grimacing at my own carelessness, I send out another, additional twist of intent, and the surrounding angels' weapons abruptly lift from their collective grasp. Turning towards the Sloths as one, they spear through the remaining demons in a pelting rain of celestial metal, ending the lives of the few that persisted.

An entire infernal engagement, settled and won in less than half a minute's time.

As the final Sloth falls to its knees and bursts into orbs, I can't help but feel a small stab of pity for the horde of demons, who undoubtedly weren't expecting to be done in by literal divine intervention. Only a small one though — given what they were attempting to do, and even succeeded at in part, that's all the sympathy I can truly muster for them at the moment.

For the angels who fell in battle, and the other, more figuratively "fallen" ones, however...

I glance about at the various bundles of halos scattered about the sky — at all that still exists of this particular conflict's casualties. No blood nor bodies remain, only solid rings of golden metal, strewn about the clouds like jewels... but no matter how pretty it may look, that doesn't change what happened here.

𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔰, ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔬𝔯.

I turn to the Hosanna, who again appears to have trailed along after me, this time through the portal I forgot to close. The Throne's words seem to open the floodgates, as the surviving angels flock towards me, seeking to express their immeasurable gratitude for my intervention… though, the surviving human souls seem significantly less thankful, as they're all slightly too busy having euphoric spasms right now.

Internally cursing at having forgotten about that, I shield my presence from human perception once more, making myself seem to simply be a light so bright as to obscure all at its center, while leaving my true form visible to the surrounding angels. The souls settle down and begin to recover, just as the Hosanna speaks up again.

𝔚𝔢 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔥𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱. it praises me, falling to one figurative knee. 𝔗𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔶, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔞𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔞 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔯.

I'm not, and I've no doubt the unicorn-like angel knows that on some level, but I can't really bring myself to care all that much at the moment.

𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖘𝖊 𝖆𝖒𝖇𝖚𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖊? I ask, despite already knowing the answer.

The Hosanna inclines its head, though the marble face on its back remains unchanged.

𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔱 𝔰𝔢𝔪𝔦-𝔯𝔢𝔤𝔲𝔩𝔞𝔯 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔰 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤. it replies. ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔯 𝔦𝔫𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰.

…I see.

The Hosanna begins to say something else, but I'm no longer listening. Ignoring it, as well as all the other angels still trying to speak to me, I float upwards over the battlefield, an idea rapidly beginning to take shape in my mind.

I may not be fully, or really even mostly aligned with the goals of Paradiso at large right now, but preventing as many souls as possible from being dragged down into Inferno is perhaps the one topic we can unquestionably agree upon. However, given what I just witnessed, it seems fairly clear to me that the angels are currently failing on that front, at least in the context of this particular style of demonic assault. I suppose I can't really blame them for that — between the Sloths' mobility, tactics, and skill, combined with their ability to turn angels against each other with the mere touch of a blade, they make for a nigh-on impossible enemy to reliably counter. The Diligences weren't doing a terrible job of it, being more than capable of holding their own, but they couldn't keep the Sloths from simply refusing to engage with them, allowing the demons to wreak havoc on those less-powerful angels who simply didn't have the means to effectively resist or escape them. Ultimately, had they possessed some method by which to keep the Sloths pinned down, or to force the demons in question to actually focus on them, I see no real reason the Diligences couldn't have won that fight on their own.

So that's exactly what I'm going to try and grant them.

Light spills from my fingertips and begins to pool like liquid between them, the details flickering through my mind already beginning to mold and shape its form. A multitude of eyes, to better keep track of a battle raging around them. Encompassing plates of layered angelic armor, strong enough to turn the touch of any tainted blade. A whip... no, a chain? Something long and swift, with which to restrain enemies from afar, or pull them across a battlefield in an instant...

A barely-conscious thought opens up another portal, this one straight to the armory of the Immortal Forge. A mental probe locates the closest existing match to my unspoken requirements — a pair of arm-mounted flail maces, typically installed upon Urbane and Gravitas — and floats several dozen of them through the portal, which I immediately go about altering to better suit my purposes. The metal of each mace melts and reforms into a many-fingered claw, designed to grasp and latch onto anything it touches, while excess steel hardens into new links that more than double the length of each chain, sacrificing size and striking power for range and tensile strength. A considerable amount of metal still ends up left over from each one, but this too is according to plan, as the surplus splits off and forms into an exact copy of each newly-made weapon, doubling the number of armaments present.

An urge tugs at me from somewhere within — the form is nearly set, but still requires a concept to bind itself to. Some portion of the faith that brings about creation, through which to define its being. A designation, a name, by which its prayers may be spoken...

A word rises to the forefront of my mind, quickly seeping into my sculpted mass of light and causing it to shine even brighter. In the next moment, sinew and muscle begin to build beneath gleaming gold metal and pure white marble, while finer details start carving themselves into existence practically of their own accord.

I smile. Excellent. Now I merely need to imbue the form with life... and I know just where to get it from.

The halos scattered across the sky abruptly surge towards me, the solidified essence of those angels who fell in battle becoming a melting tornado of gold which pours itself down into the empty template I hold within my palms. It takes to the form like ink to paper, filling its limbs with untold strength and imprinting my will upon its being — yet to my surprise, the construct remains inert, still naught but an unmoving, unthinking cast. Something is still missing...

In a sudden flash of insight, it comes to me — the halos possessed the life essence of the departed angels, but in death, lost the core element that kept each life burning. Thus to finalize this design, to realize this creation, I simply require new cores.

In which case...

I look out upon the masses still gathered far below — at those scattered human spirits that remained untouched by the Sloths. Mentally reaching out to each and every one of them, I pose a single question, directly to the center of their beings.

Their silent assent is unanimous.

The guarding angels startle as the mostly-transparent shades rise from their grasps and stream towards me like a swarm of ghosts. Like the halos before them, they flow down into my unfinished creation, their souls sparking against the energy already contained within, igniting it into a roaring conflagration-

The light between my hands abruptly compresses and flashes, and a massive shock wave bursts forth from it, washing over all present like the birth of a tiny supernova. In the same moment, my design becomes fully manifest, as a fleet of Devotions springs forth from between my fingers, riding the ripple of their own creation outwards into the skies.

𝖂𝕰 𝕿𝕳𝕬𝕹𝕶 𝖄𝕺𝖀, 𝕺𝕳 𝕮𝕽𝕰𝕬𝕿𝕺𝕽
(We thank you, oh Creator!)​

I let the words of Paradiso's newest angels slide off me, saying nothing to them in return — I don't need to, as they're already intrinsically aware of what I made them for, and the duty I wish for them to fulfill. Taking up their weapons and gliding down to join the angels below, who themselves are now busily vacillating between worship and shock, the Devotions take their place at the side of the Diligences, paired with them forevermore.

With the task I set myself to now complete, something seems to shift within me, the abnormal focus I felt during the process falling away from my mind. As it vanishes, the fact of what I just did catches up with me, and-

Okay, what the hell was that? It was like the moment I fully committed to the idea, auto-pilot suddenly engaged, and I just... did it, somehow. I won't call it a fugue state, since I'm pretty sure I was still in control of myself during that, but how did I even know how to do any of what I just did? I mean, I'd blame the Right Eye, but... honestly, I don't think I should, because it felt more like I was going through all that by memory than anything else. A side effect from having just reabsorbed a piece of Jubileus...?

I frown, caught somewhere between being unsettled, proud, and disappointed in myself. Proud, because that actually went better than expected, and I'm genuinely pretty pleased with the result, yet disappointed, because even if I did it while in a sort of "creative trance", I still ultimately chose to resort to Paradiso's own methods... and in doing so, essentially gave them my implicit approval.

How very hypocritical of me.

I shake my head, ribbons undulating slightly with the motion. Regardless, I do still feel I did something good here. At the very least, I'm quite certain this fate is better than what the Sloths intended for those souls — better than what they likely would have been used for had they actually made it to the Celestial Refinery, for that matter. It's not something I wish to repeat until I've gotten my thoughts more in order, both about the angel conversion process and Paradiso just in general, but I don't think I can truly bring myself to regret it either.

Shifting my attention back to more external matters, I silently note that while I used up the halos in creating the Devotions, the orbs left behind by the Sloths — as well as the angels that they tainted — still persist. Summoning them to my palm, I have the gem-like objects swirl upwards and spiral over my fingers, where I regard them with a curious, but critical eye.

Now, what to do with these... I don't suppose tainted angelic essence can be converted back into its original form? Or that demonic essence can be purified just in general, for that matter? Even like this, they should fundamentally be the same thing, should they not?

I ask, and am slightly surprised by the answer I receive — though theoretically possible, Paradiso has never attempted such simply on principle, and so the process is seen throughout Heaven as being one-way only. Which means...

My thoughts flash back to the Sloths' blades.

It's hardly my highest priority at the moment... but I wonder. If the process can be reversed, then perhaps-

A sound like that of a struck church bell, not entirely unlike the resonating gong I created upon my arrival to the Celestial Refinery, suddenly rings out from just below me. I turn towards it, just in time to witness the abrupt arrival of Ethos, Pathos, and Logos — the Seraphim responsible for conveying messages directly to God, as well as the rest of Paradiso's highest. In spite of my instant, eye-granted familiarity with the angels, the sight of their trio of conjoined bodies, ever twisting around each other in perfectly symmetrical, yet utterly surrealistic patterns, still instinctively brings me pause.

𝕺𝖍 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝕵𝖚𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖚𝖘 they speak, one after the other, each unnaturally-melodious word emerging from a different mouth, 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖁𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖘 𝖍𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖑𝖞 𝖗𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖚𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊.

...it's just one thing after another today, isn't it?

Spoiler: AN+Patrons

There are at least two ways of interpreting the fact that Sloths are apparently responsible for "countless fallen angels". Given the supposed effect of their blades to induce feelings of sin in those cut by them, combined with how Hideous initially just looked like a demonic Affinity... well, you can see which one I went with.

A huge thanks to @Pheonix14, @Warclam, @ScorpioBot, @The Crimson King, @BunnehWyld, 2ScoopsPlease, Henry Branscombe, Twei, That Guy, Nubcaekz, Bertucchi, BlackEagle91, Jordan Juengel, and my eight other Patrons not named here, as well as an extra special thanks to a certain generous patron who wishes to remain unnamed. Each of them receives a custom-fit necklace, embedded with various cut and polished orb fragments. Rest assured, while demonic in nature, the energy is inert in its current state, and the metal's natural internal glow makes each necklace a perfect accessory for any occasion! If you're still concerned however, feel free to just pawn them off to the local jeweler — they're naturally drawn to sin, so at least a few of the too-rich hands they'll eventually wind up in will likely find themselves in Inferno one day anyways. 📿

 

[Krazyfan1]

Great as usual
thanks for the update.

hmm...thinking of a counter for Sloths blades...

how about a gun?

a sloth cuts an angel, starting to corrupt it, only for a bullet to blast the target as well, reversing the corruption, giving the angel strength, and disintegrating the sword?

 

[Blaflaix]

A whip... no, a chain? Something long and swift, with which to restrain enemies from afar, or pull them across a battlefield in an instant...

Click to shrink...

Angelic Tentacle Monsters FTW!

 

[PlaguePaladin]

𝖁𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖘

Click to shrink...

I've only just noticed it, but why does V look like that in this font? I'm frightened to know what the 🅱isus can do compared to the Visus.

Either way, excellent story; I'm glad to get an update.

 

[hugh_donnetono]

Then they all abruptly collide with each other, and judgment in countless forms begins to fall from on high.

Click to shrink...

Flarina used Judgment! It's Super Effective!

 

[meloa789]

Fists and blades clashing towards each other is always a favorite combo of mine.

 

[pingas plight]

Flarina used Judgment! It's Super Effective!

Click to shrink...

Oh my god.

Can you say "Pokemon omake"?

 

[Burned_Cookie]

Beginning to suspect that Flairleus is actually Jubileus with delusions. Sure, the eye told her our world is real, but it never said anything that they are actually from here. Might just have dreamed up a life, or copy pasted Flairina for some reason or another.

 

[silentorphan]

Beginning to suspect that Flairleus is actually Jubileus with delusions. Sure, the eye told her our world is real, but it never said anything that they are actually from here. Might just have dreamed up a life, or copy pasted Flairina for some reason or another.

Click to shrink...

By Jubileus' Name, Fortitudo was right all along! She needs the Left Eye to recover all her memories instead of continuing to pretend to be someone else!

Fortitudo's two draconic heads nod in tandem. 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔢. 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔢𝔵𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔩𝔢𝔡𝔤𝔢 𝔶𝔢𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔶.

Click to shrink...

 

[Hyanblade]

Flairileus just went "No, you know what? Imma steal a move from Dante, a move from manga!Cynthia's Garchomp, a move from Fuckmothering Darkseid and a move from Gilgamesh. And you're gonna thank me for it."

 

[hugh_donnetono]

Beginning to suspect that Flairleus is actually Jubileus with delusions. Sure, the eye told her our world is real, but it never said anything that they are actually from here. Might just have dreamed up a life, or copy pasted Flairina for some reason or another.

Click to shrink...

I mean, 'our world is real and Flair was a real person in it who really has woken up as Jubelius' and 'Jubelius dreamed up our world and her life as Flair' aren't necessarily contradictory statements. She is God, after all. Her dreams aren't necessarily not real.

 

[NokoTheTaco]

I'm sad I didn't notice this chapter sooner, but glad I noticed it before I went asleep. Great chapter, as always!

 

[Ripclaw52]

𝖁𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖘

Click to shrink...

That's a v?!
I didn't get that at all.

I mean, 'our world is real and Flair was a real person in it who really has woken up as Jubelius' and 'Jubelius dreamed up our world and her life as Flair' aren't necessarily contradictory statements. She is God, after all. Her dreams aren't necessarily not real.

Click to shrink...

That reminds me of some high tier elder scrolls lore.
Going CHIM or something.

And what you pointed out about "dreaming up the world" also reminds me about the big god Azathoth from Lovecraft's works.
Considering the disturbing appearances of the angles and demons, it seems very fitting.

 

[Monlet]

I mean, 'our world is real and Flair was a real person in it who really has woken up as Jubelius' and 'Jubelius dreamed up our world and her life as Flair' aren't necessarily contradictory statements. She is God, after all. Her dreams aren't necessarily not real.

Click to shrink...

Or that dream of her is actually a fragment of her that went to our world when she was asleep and was drag back when she was forcefully awakened

 

[Mechasaurian]

The Bisus? What the hell is that?

 

[PlaguePaladin]

The Bisus? What the hell is that?

Click to shrink...

The Visus. Bisus is a joke about the fancy font, which makes a V look like a B.

 

[Mr. Cloak]

Great as usual
thanks for the update.

hmm...thinking of a counter for Sloths blades...

how about a gun?

a sloth cuts an angel, starting to corrupt it, only for a bullet to blast the target as well, reversing the corruption, giving the angel strength, and disintegrating the sword?

Click to shrink...

Angelic Tentacle Monsters FTW!

Click to shrink...

Tentacles with guns on them! Like angelic versions of the matrix Seekers, but with all the Dakka!

 

[pingas plight]

Tentacles with guns on them! Like angelic versions of the matrix Seekers, but with all the Dakka!

Click to shrink...

Behold, the divine glocktopus.

 

[Mr. Cloak]

Behold, the divine glocktopus.

Click to shrink...

That is the sort of angel that would make even Bayonetta think twice!.... Maybe.

 

[Flairina]

Either way, excellent story; I'm glad to get an update.

Click to shrink...

I'm sad I didn't notice this chapter sooner, but glad I noticed it before I went asleep. Great chapter, as always!

Click to shrink...

Great as usual
thanks for the update.

Click to shrink...

Great Chapter!

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Thank you all! Sorry it took all month to get this chapter fully finished/edited — you'll never see the version that existed prior, but hopefully the time spent was worth it. And, similarly...

paise be to Flairbilius!

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Praise Omnissiah!

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Both Paradiso and this story are fueled by praise/prayers, so it's much appreciated! (*^▽^*)

Interesting. I do hope she'll be able to pull off redemptions.

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Agreed. Mostly because I am sick of there being so many fallen angels and so few risen demons.

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Especially given that the Sloths are artificially making angels fall.

So it is only fair that Demons get Light Blasted into more angels.

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Heh, we shall see. As I believe I vaguely alluded to a couple chapters ago, Paradiso does have what amounts to a heavenly science department, but if Jubileus!me wants to start looking into "redemption" effects, I'm likely to encounter obstacles beyond just the logistics of the process itself...

Warping directly over to purgatorio to do battle with demonic forces must be simultaneously incredibly uplifting and incredibly worrying for the Angel's of paradise.

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Not wrong — I imagine that seeing God step onto a battlefield, no matter what side of that battle you're on or what the context of it is, could indeed be cause for some serious concern. Especially when no one in the last 10000 years has actually born witness to God's overall temperament.

Flarina used Judgment! It's Super Effective!

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Flairileus just went "No, you know what? Imma steal a move from Dante, a move from manga!Cynthia's Garchomp, a move from Fuckmothering Darkseid and a move from Gilgamesh. And you're gonna thank me for it."

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I mean, I didn't specifically have any of those characters in mind (and don't really know enough about at least two of them to intentionally take inspiration from them), but at least on the first one's account...

Spoiler

...well, can't say you're wrong. The movie even has the move accompanied by the sound of a bell/gong, so that's very on brand. ^^;

(Jubileus's Pokesona is undoubtedly an Arceus.)

Jubi seems to have a surprising amount of patience for Hosanna.

Maybe it's just me being emotional, but I would've probably strangled this asshole the first time back in the soul forge.
Not only does he act shady as hell, he also thinks that it's okay to constantly vocalize his doubts to his creator's face with some low-handed comments. His last phrase sounded like an outright insult and he knew it. I mean, what the hell, man?

Well, I guess it's actually a good thing that she has so much patience, considering her power level.
Still, it would've been kinda satisfying to see this bastard being melted down and recycled in order to build a better, non-assholish angel.

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I disagree. Having an advisor that doesn't take shit and doesn't care about status differences can help a lot to keep her grounded and in touch.

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Well, how exactly him insulting his direct superior to her face should benefit her? This guy has enough experience and intelligence to know exactly how his remark about her abilities would sound. What purpose did it serve other than him either making fun of Jubi or undermining her authority? You can easily lose job over something like that even in our real modern world, and there is no democracy in Paradiso.
I get your point, but this is not the guy you would want to rely on in any way that matters. His end goals do not align with hers at all, not to mention his shady motivations. At best, they are tentative allies for now, and will become enemies in the future. And he seems to have already started digging under her.

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What remarks are you talking about specifically?
Because I hadn't seen any "direct insults" from him, as far as I remember.
At worst it was either expressing worry, or maybe badly worded.
Keep in mind that tone doesn't exactly get conveyed well in text.

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I'm talking about this one.

Jubi herself realized what he was implying, but she seemed to simply not care, because she is nice like that.

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Eh, it's open to interpretation. I'll say that Jubileus!me, personally, is just interpreting the Hosanna's comments as it attempting to flatter/kiss up to me. Even if it was intentionally being backhanded with them though, the Throne's opinion of me just... isn't really that important, honestly. So far as Jubileus!me is concerned, as long as it continues to do its job and doesn't actively impede anything I'm trying to do, it can talk behind my back/subtly insult me all it wants. I've got more important things to worry about.

It was pretty rad to see Flairleus doing Creator Deity stuff, i guess we're approaching the second stage of "fake it until you make it"

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Thanks! I did my best to describe the process in a way that seemed to make sense, hope it was still interesting to read in the end. And yes, while Jubileus!me didn't really intend it, I did end up actively responding to one of Paradiso's outstanding issues... let's see if that continues.

So would creating an entirely new type of angels on a whim be. This Jubi seems to actually want, or at least is willing to be responsible for the position that got dumped in her lap.

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I don't know about want, but Jubileus!me certainly wasn't willing to ignore this either, so... yeah, close enough. Perhaps I'm just a sucker at heart. つ﹏⊂

I can't help but feel this was a misstep. You maybe can't find it in you to regret it now, but the future is a fascinating and surprising place.

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I just wanna say the creation of an entire new angel will have far reaching consequences

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Jubileus!me checks back in a little later, only to find that creating the Devotions has unintentionally caused a massive cascade effect, and now the entire third sphere is attempting to revolt against the rest of Paradiso due to the perception of large-scale unequal treatment. Should've watched out for those butterflies I caused... (°ロ°)

I would like to point out that one of the advantages of creating a new type of angel is that the Devotions, in the unlikely event that the truth comes out that the original Jubileus isn't in the driving seat so to speak, are more likely to remain loyal to Flairbileus than other angels since they can be 100% sure she is their Creator.

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True — though, even though the Devotions are Second Sphere angels (Virtues, specifically), I doubt they'll be enough to shield Jubileus!me from the rest of Heaven, should Heaven end up getting pissed at me.

hmm...thinking of a counter for Sloths blades...

how about a gun?

a sloth cuts an angel, starting to corrupt it, only for a bullet to blast the target as well, reversing the corruption, giving the angel strength, and disintegrating the sword?

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That would require some pretty precise aim, but assuming such an effect is discovered/developed, a long-range way of bestowing it would indeed be likely to be quite useful, especially compared to the more close-range (or, well, mid-range, considering how far those swords can reach) weapons the Sloths use. More on that later, perhaps.

Angelic Tentacle Monsters FTW!

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Tentacles with guns on them! Like angelic versions of the matrix Seekers, but with all the Dakka!

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Behold, the divine glocktopus.

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I mean, it's not like Paradiso doesn't already have a fair few tentacle monsters, so it's hardly out of the question. XD

That is the sort of angel that would make even Bayonetta think twice!.... Maybe.

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She does seem to have an aversion to tentacles... well, that or just a fondness for quoting Indiana Jones.

Any reference images for the Devotions?

I'm having a hard visualizing what they look like.

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I'm pretty sure they're original concepts, with Diligences being an angelic recolor of the Sloth according to the new chapter. For reference, here's what the Sloths look like in the realm of Bayonetta.

Spoiler: Harlequin Samurai Meth Head

So the upgraded Devotion is better armored along with flail-claws and extra eyes, so something even cooler then this, which I heartily approve of!

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They are indeed original concepts, but neither the Diligences nor the Devotions actually look all that much like the Sloths — or, well, at least in my head they don't. While the Diligences do share the Sloths' numerous swords and arms, they have an extra one of each, and as noted in the Hierarchy of Laguna ~Extra~ I posted a while back, they're considerably more lithe and slender, and so probably more... hmm, feminine-looking, I suppose? In as much as any angel can really be considered such, at least. I didn't find a way to mention it in the chapter without detracting from the narrative, but they also don't use their arms interchangeably as legs the way the Sloths do, and in fact don't really have legs in the first place, being built specifically for combat in the skies of Purgatorio, and so just float/propel themselves everywhere. Additionally, while the Sloths literally sheathe their swords in their backs, the Diligences's weapons hover around them when not in use, with the curved blades forming a sort of "arch" that frames their person. So... something like this maybe, but plus a bunch of arms extending from their torso, and minus all the eyes?

Meanwhile, the appearance of the Diligences was intentionally left somewhat vague. However, they DO have all those eyes, though they're covered by the same marble masks most Bayonetta angels have, which in turn means they look like they have numerous "faces" placed all around their body. The enormous chain whips Jubileus!me bestowed upon them might also draw to mind Belief's right arm, as even if their weapons aren't directly attached to the Diligences in the same way, their functions are somewhat similar. If you want to think of them as humanoid, this is a more than decent reference, but I personally had something more along the lines of Iustitia or Fidelity in mind, with the eyes/faces being placed along a central "core", or perhaps along large rings encircling their bodies.

So... yeah, a fair few differences. If you prefer your own headcanon however, do still feel free to visualize them as you please! Like I said, there's intentionally room left open for interpretation, and even Jubileus!me has no authority over your imagination.

Interesting choice of name alright.

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On sloth being speedy:

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No no no, see, they DO draw their power from sloth.

They siphon away energy from people to move at the speeds they do. They aren't POWERED by Sloth, they cause it.

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"Sloth" today is usually associated with laziness, but when it comes to the sin of sloth it refers more to indifference, covering not so much the lack of action as the lack of caring about what one should do, regardless if it manifests as indolence involving tasks/obligations you dislike or even as doing something as quickly/"efficiently" as possible because you consider it a waste of time otherwise.
One can be extremely fast and active and still fall victim to the sin of slothfulness if they don't care about what they're doing

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Personally, I just think it's meant to be funny that the demons called sloth are speedsters.

I approve.

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The name does seem rather contradictory, isn't it? Especially given that there's another enemy called Greed, whose appellation appears to fit considerably better. Personally, I think it's entirely possible that the Sloths' name refers to how they "lie in wait" to pull off these ambushes, and they're fairly inactive outside of battle... but yes, in battle, Sloths are probably some of the least slothful-seeming demons around. They're agile enough to dodge pretty much all "normal" attacks, have absolutely enormous range even when they aren't using those demonic energy crescents, and they move too quickly to even reasonably respond to at times — and that's with the constraints of the game in place. Now remove those, and take into account what their blades are described to do to what they cut, and... well. ☠️

Soooo basically anime swordsman, gotcha.

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Okay, not quite that fast, but... well, here's a decent example of what combat with them looks like. Then, bearing in mind that that's just one of them, along with the information noted above, imagine trying to fight an entire pack of these things.

Oh, yeah, the wonders of any high-powered setting: ordinary units are basically useless in an actual battle. The end result is decided solely by the top-level combatants of each side.

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I don't know if I'd say that's *always* the case, but in this instance, it does indeed seem to hold true. Though, it helps that even when they do get hit, Sloths are very hard to put down — do note that I wasn't making up the part about how if their limbs are torn off, they just instantly regrow them.

To be honest, Inferno does deserve a bit of knocking around.

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The problem with attacking Inferno isn't that they don't all have it coming, but that the requirement for doing so in the first place is the merging of the worlds, which just so happens to dump EVERY demon, Sheba included, onto every population centre on Earth. At that point, no matter who wins, humanity dies.

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Yeah, that does present something of an issue, and it's not one Jubileus!me is terribly interesting in finding a way around at the moment. Right now, Paradiso and Inferno are probably at the most "peaceful" they ever really get, simply because they can't do more... and unless I have a truly incredible plan of attack, trying to take on all of Inferno at once would be a bad idea even if it wouldn't likely get the vast majority of the human population killed. In my mind, all out heaven-and-hellish war is best avoided at all costs.

Sheba- Wait what do you mean Jubileus is actually using reasonable tactics this time?

Like only way I can imagine Inferno being the clusterfuck of murderfuck infighting it is and still getting to draw with Paradiso is due to Paradiso's stagnacy, and missing their Goddess for like 99% of their existence?

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Yeah, they kinda have to be very selective in their recruitment so as not to fall into the same murderfest as Inferno.

Say, 1 in 100 souls ascends to Heaven, the rest go down to Inferno, and only one tenth of the new demons survive after going through the infernal meat grinder. It still leaves Paradiso at a severe numerical disadvantage.

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While the ratio probably isn't quite that skewed due to differences in the Bayonetta world's history, the primary thrust of the above statement remains true. As previously noted, Paradiso does only accept/take believers of the Abrahamic religions, while Inferno has no such barrier of entry. Sure, there's apparently a "cycle of reincarnation" in place, which may not necessarily involve a soul eventually ending up in Heaven or Hell, but suffice to say Inferno has still never been particularly short on fresh souls.

Yes, so they recruit from human souls, turning them into angels to replenish their numbers. With what she has done now has made any future attempts to prevent the souls from being turned to angels, and turning angels themselves to demons much more difficult. This changes the equation for Paradiso massively, for now their growth from the mortal world likely is equivalent, if not greater than the demon's recruitment. Now, Paradiso benefits from the status quo of the three realms being separated, because otherwise, they are likely to lose their supply of souls.

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Well, do bear in mind that some people still fall into hell all on their own, and this probably isn't the only way that the demons make raids on Paradiso. But it should still have some effect, to be sure, at least assuming the Devotions manage to successfully fulfill the duty Jubileus!me built into their beings. We'll see...

Oh, and congratulations on once again playing thread prophet by guessing that the "chaos" in question involved the Sloths. I suppose it wasn't that hard to predict, but you're the only one who did so, so props for that. d(^u^)b

Also, I wonder what bisus wants to talk about

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Who knows? To congratulate Jubileus!me on returning to the land of the living? To try and bring me up to speed on the current state of Paradisian bureaucracy? To address concerns over recent events? Let's just hope it's nothing too terrible...

I've only just noticed it, but why does V look like that in this font? I'm frightened to know what the 🅱isus can do compared to the Visus.

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The Bisus? What the hell is that?

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The Visus. Bisus is a joke about the fancy font, which makes a V look like a B.

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That's a v?!
I didn't get that at all.

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...and also that, despite what a Fraktur Capital "V" looks like, I'll eventually manage to communicate that it is, in fact, not a B. ^^;

Beginning to suspect that Flairleus is actually Jubileus with delusions. Sure, the eye told her our world is real, but it never said anything that they are actually from here. Might just have dreamed up a life, or copy pasted Flairina for some reason or another.

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By Jubileus' Name, Fortitudo was right all along! She needs the Left Eye to recover all her memories instead of continuing to pretend to be someone else!

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I mean, 'our world is real and Flair was a real person in it who really has woken up as Jubelius' and 'Jubelius dreamed up our world and her life as Flair' aren't necessarily contradictory statements. She is God, after all. Her dreams aren't necessarily not real.

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And what you pointed out about "dreaming up the world" also reminds me about the big god Azathoth from Lovecraft's works.
Considering the disturbing appearances of the angles and demons, it seems very fitting.

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Or that dream of her is actually a fragment of her that when to our world when she was asleep and was drag back when she was forcefully awakened

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I've responded to speculation in much this same vein before, and unfortunately have nothing particularly new to say. As such, I'll just do this, and leave you to interpret it as you please:

( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[ForwardRewind]

Hmm... well, if it's not possible to undo the corruption of angels into demons; reversing the process at all, then a slightly different track might be needed. Instead of turning demons created from the actions of the Sloths, instead just remove the demon stuff, even if they can't then be turned into angels. I'm... not sure what that would actually look like. Toss 'em into the Cycle of Reincarnation if they don't qualify for Paradiso, instead of ending up in Inferno? Worst case, they're no longer available to either side, best case there's the potential of later on being able to get into Paradiso. Either way, it at least delays new Inferno reinforcements.

I do kind of wonder how big of a percentage hit for Inferno this is, with the Sloth recruitment at least severely curtailed, if not entirely stopped.

 

[Flairina]

I really like this story. Hope you continue

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That's the hope! Might be another break after this chapter, mostly because I am still incredibly behind on updating some of my other fics, but I'll try to get back to this one before too long. (*^_^*)

Do they actually have labor unions up there in Paradiso?

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No idea, but Heaven is kind of fundamentally stratified and unequal at the moment, so if they don't, they probably should.

Maybe not but "Flairbileus and her kids vs Almost all of heaven" is a lot more even than "Flairbileus vs all of heaven", even a small step in the right direction is still a step.

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My... kids?

...oh crap, they basically are, aren't they? What have I done?! I'm way too young for this! I'm already trying to avoid the weight of expectations Paradiso is putting on my shoulders, I don't need the pressure of being a single mom on top of it! AHHHHHHH!!! (っ °Д °; )っ

I rather doubt the heaven would rebel like that.
They are not humans, they are angels, made to obey her will. Even if she is a bit strange.

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Heh, you do have a point. However, even if there is an inherent expectation of loyalty, angels are still thinking beings... and Jubileus hasn't been around for any of the newer ones to judge for a very long time. Now that she (I) am, opinions could easily change...

My thoughts as well, just because they are divinity doesn't mean they don't have traditions, stigmas, and biases. Not saying it cannot be done, but its going to take a whole lot of metaphorical elbow grease not to mention cash in some of that social credit you Blis got. Maybe not quite as much as you think if you find like minded people, but its still going against the grain quite a bit.

Creating a whole new angel class is also probably going to cause issues on top of general power dynamics being shifted the first time since ever, because now after such a very long time angels have to deal with the idea that they jussst maybe be rendered obsolete by their god, with a new design replacing them. I don't think Blis would do it, but they don't know that now do they?

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An excellent way of putting it — one might even argue Paradiso is built almost entirely on tradition, even if there have been some obvious changes in the last 10000 years. Mind, it's questionable whether or not the Devotions' existence alone will cause issues, as new angels do supposedly still come into existence as mankind's faith changes over the ages, but taking the factors surrounding their creation into account, and the means by which it was done... well, just wait a chapter or two.

Actually didn't Bayonetta ice all of the big 4? That seems like a massive hole in the chain of command as things are provided this isn't a death is cheap setting... which to be fair it could be.

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IIRC we were already told the four are around, if in currently diminished state because they recently died.

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It would explain how they are still around by the time of Bayonetta...

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Correct, the Auditio are functionally immortal. As with the above, more on that quite shortly.

You know, if names have power in the Bayonetta verse then Jubilous will receive a power up once she realizes that her name isn't Jubilous. That's just what everyone started calling her.

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Unless she is weakened because she really is named Jubilous but doesn't recognise it...

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If names do have power in the Bayonetta-verse, Jubileus!me is probably in trouble regardless, because apparently it's actually quite difficult to spell her/my name correctly. ^^; Though, given that "The true name of Jubileus, as recorded in myth, is actually constructed from unutterable syllables.", it's honestly rather fitting on a metatextual level.

Also it would mean that the angels wouldn't be able to use thier sweet cars as much.

Yeah I know in lore cars are based off of a type of angel but come on its the enemies during that card chase were totally a because its cool moment.

Honestly I'm actually sad an angelic tank, or at least an angelic semi didn't show up during that bit from the first game.

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I mean, given we already have car angels, wheel angels, and three sizes of airship angel, I absolutely would not doubt there is a tank angel as well. Which probably fire the tank shell equivalent of Holy Hand Grenades.

Hmm... well, if it's not possible to undo the corruption of angels into demons; reversing the process at all, then a slightly different track might be needed. Instead of turning demons created from the actions of the Sloths, instead just remove the demon stuff, even if they can't then be turned into angels. I'm... not sure what that would actually look like. Toss 'em into the Cycle of Reincarnation if they don't qualify for Paradiso, instead of ending up in Inferno? Worst case, they're no longer available to either side, best case there's the potential of later on being able to get into Paradiso. Either way, it at least delays new Inferno reinforcements.

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Figuring out if "turning" demons is even possible/plausible in the first place is a rather important topic to address. After all, even if purifying/inverting demonic energy is supposedly possible, many demons are all but literal incarnations of sin — so if you remove that sin, then what's even left? It's a question Jubileus!me will almost certainly need to answer, should I intend to follow up on that unfinished thought...

Interestingly, there is another type of Demon that should be considered a priority target, as it also focuses on souls, Insidious, who is stated to convert death into demonic energy, which, if your idea to convert demonic energy into angelic energy is valid, would make them into piñata's full of potential new recruits.

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That is an... interesting way of putting it. ^^; Regardless, assuming demons really can be "turned to the light", Insidious does seem like a excellent target for such things. I imagine the angelic version would be called... Innocence, perhaps? Yeah, I like that.

(By the by, fallen Affinities are known as Affronts.)

I've been looking through the wiki to see which Demons could be risen that would work, and who would be in charge of managing the risen demons. As for the manager, it seems that Iustitia is the most likely to manage them, being the Auditio that is stated to be the closest of the Cardinal Virtues to hell, at least, that is what their fellow angels of Paradiso believe. As for which demons would be the easiest to redeem, I would say Resentment is at the top of the list. Being a demon born from the ill will and wrath of those who die unnaturally, aka murder victims, they would likely be able to be redeemed if you turn their focus away from the victim's family and towards the one who caused said unnatural death.

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Dude is pretty fucking hardcore tho

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I don't know about Resentment necessarily being easy to redeem. The demon's biography is somewhat vague in places, and it's not entirely clear to me that Resentments actually make a point of going after their former family, unless we're meant to assume that the families who actually end up "cursed" in such a way were ultimately responsible for the victim's unnatural death in the first place. Besides which, their designs (which include both a necklace of skulls and a brain lance) appear to indicate that they hardly are willing stop at just one person — presumably once they've finished dragging their initial "target" into Inferno, they simply move on to others...

That being said, Resentment does remain a decent potential "risen" in this hypothetical scenario. Their tenacity- no, their Resolve especially, if put to better ends, could potentially be quite useful...

Jubi enlarging herself to the size of the earth and poking the planet.

BREAKING NEWS: 'A gigantic blonde space loli poked Paris out of existence'

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Heh, funny as that image is, I would hope Jubileus!me is wise enough not to go poking planets for no reason. Earth is probably having a hard enough time right now as is to be honest, given what happened just before I woke up...

This is doubly funny because the new game has Arceus upgrade your phone with godly powers and send text messages to you just for fun, something which I have no trouble imagining Flairbileus also doing.

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Jubileus!me spontaneously gifts everyone on Earth a free heavenly cell phone, incidentally raising worship and belief levels by roughly 5000%. Paradiso collectively interprets this as having been intentional, and hails me all the more. Hooray...? ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

Notification: "[YOUR ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD] has sent you a message"
"What the hell, my phone was off!"
Notification: "IT MATTERS NOT, PUNY MORTAL."

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Flairbileus:
[Hey Bay]
[Hey]
[Hey]
[Hey pick up]
[Baybay]
[Hey]
[Hey]


Bayonetta: [Ugh. What?]

Flairbileus:
[Can]

[borrow]

Bayonetta: [STOP!
How do u not know how 2 text!?]

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Jubileus 'Pray2Win' The Creator:
[Bay, my friend, my pal, my child, listen to me]
[I'm gonna show u smth important]
[*attached image*]

Bayonetta:
[Don't tell me... Is it a cat photo? Seriously?]

Jubileus 'Pray2Win' The Creator:
[Hey, it's my first time hearing about internet after 10000 years of slumber!]
[meanie]
[ur cursed now, haha]
[how is being bald treating ya, my lady?]

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Pfft. XD I'd mark these all as a collective omake if I could — call it Ephesians 4:4 (Heaven is Calling) or something along those lines. Unfortunately, I can't do that, and they're each too short individually to really qualify, but it's an amusing idea nonetheless... even if I question whether or not Bayonetta actually owns a cell phone to begin with.

That is legitimately the absolute worst and most depowering curse you could possibly place on Bayonetta if it actually stuck, short of a curse that just kills her dead.

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But a death curse wouldn't be nearly as funny to deal with. I imagine Bay getting into all kinds of shenanigans to undo the curse, go around it, or just spite Jubi because that's just how Bayo do.

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Well, the Umbra Witches could apparently use other catalysts besides just their hair to summon demons, so it wouldn't be a complete depowering, but she'd have to figure out what to use/how to use it, and she'd still be bound to her angel-killing pact in the meantime, so it'd still be a rather miserable experience to be sure. Frankly though, I'm too fond of my own hair to intentionally inflict something that cruel on Bayonetta anyways... you know, barring her turning on me again, for whatever reason.

I bet it would be shiny too, cause the fur(?) would match her human forms hair.

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It'd also probably be a gijinka, because Jubileus thinks of herself as the ideal embodiment of creation, so any "sona" she has obviously needs to look like her, ie. humanoid. So she'd be like:



"What up worshippers, this is my Pokesona! She's an Arceus (obviously), and she's perf (also obviously). Any questions? Didn't think so. Hail to the Dea~ 😘"

 

[pingas plight]

...oh crap, they basically are, aren't they? What have I done?! I'm way too young for this! I'm already trying to avoid the weight of expectations Paradiso is putting on my shoulders, I don't need the pressure of being a single mom on top of it! AHHHHHHH!!! (っ °Д °; )っ

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Wait, I thought the not-quite-angelic collective of us commentators was, like, adoptive family.
I was going to continue this joke, but sadly, I feel that it would have gotten to a discomforting/creepy level, and we don't do that creep shit here. Only memey shit, cool shit, and dumb shit. that third one mainly coming from me.