Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest (STORY ONLY)

Velorien · Jun 23, 2017

For once, it was Kei's turn to track down Hazō. At this time of day, he would likely be conducting that phase of theoretical research which involved staring gormlessly into the distance while his brain innocently offered up apocalyptic seal designs one after another. It was best to approach him now, before Kagome's screaming marked the start of the discussion phase.

Watching him ponder yet another way to tie space-time into a knot for the sake of moderately improved combat performance, Kei felt a wave of humiliation at their previous encounter. Not only had she grievously misinterpreted his words (she hoped), but she had spontaneously lost all her facility with language, plummeting head-first into the abyssal depths of accidental innuendo that had hitherto been Hazō's sole domain.

"Hazō," she bowed awkwardly, "I must apologise for my behaviour yesterday. After extensive reflection, I have concluded that your comment was referring purely to the physical sense of touch, and not to any… personal activities that shall never be discussed again in any way, sort, shape or form."

She looked up warily. "That is what you were referring to, isn't it?"

As best as she could tell, Hazō seemed amused.

"Yes, Keiko. I don't even see how… the other thing… could've followed from what we were talking about."

That should have been obvious.

"Given that you began to enquire about my experience of touch, and that there are various forms of touch which produce different—"

Kei stopped abruptly.

"Never mind."

Next time she saw Mari-sensei, she would have to ask her about Truth Lost in the Fog. Or about subcontracting the Yamanaka to erase Hazō's memories. Blunt force trauma was also a tempting option, but not one Mari-sensei was likely to approve of. Kei made a note to catalogue the possibilities later using the Frozen Skein.

"More importantly," she hurried on, "have you given any thought to my question?"

"Actually, I have," Hazō mercifully accepted the change of subject. "Keiko, do you like the Clear Communication Technique?"

Ah, now they returned to safer ground, namely Hazō's inane questions that assumed she possessed the brain of a typical jellyfish.

"It is a means of communication that you and I developed together in order to overcome what we perceive as flaws in ordinary human interaction. You may as well ask Akane whether she enjoys using her ridiculously-named taijutsu style."

"All right," Hazō agreed. "So why exactly do you like it?"

Better. A question that was not only inoffensive, but might provide him with useful new information. Kei would have to offer a considered response.

"Clarity," she said simply. "As per the name—though I must admit I have no recollection of who gave it that name, or when. Certainly, I was not consulted, or I would have suggested something less ambiguous and more immediately informative.

"Regardless. Typical human communication relies excessively on non-verbal cues and subtext. These features are only amplified when the subject of communication is in some way complex or sensitive. As I have great difficulty noticing them, much less interpreting them correctly, such conversations lead me to feel as if I am crossing one of Kagome's defensive arrays. A single misstep could be crippling or fatal, and yet everyone else seems to possess a mental map that allows them to step over the traps and read the warning signs I find opaque. Even then, I notice frequent instances of miscommunication, sometimes followed by violent explosions.

"The Clear Communication Technique renders non-verbal cues verbal, and transforms subtext into text. It allows actual communication to take place, instead of the usual exchange of cyphers and layered hidden signals that would be considered excessive even for an infiltration mission.

"Does this make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," Hazō said, but his voice did not contain the confidence Kei expected after such a helpful description. She began to wonder if he had planned this discussion in the form of a list, and she had somehow gone off-script.

"The way it facilitates trust is an advantage as well, isn't it?" he asked. "When using the technique, you know you're in a high-trust, high-cooperation environment, because if someone is dishonest while using it, or believed to be so, then the whole thing falls apart. So if someone is using the Clear Communication Technique, it's a sign that they trust you and that you can trust them. I know that matters a lot to me."

"I suppose. But I fail to see how this differs from any other form of interaction. Speaking with someone presupposes a degree of trust, because if you begin from a position of expecting deception, you are no longer communicating but engaging in social combat. To converse is to grant your interlocutor the benefit of the doubt, not necessarily in all things but in a general desire to exchange true information and seek mutual benefit. Such trust is what makes civilised society possible to begin with."

Hazō frowned.

"You have to agree, though," he argued, "that the Clear Communication Technique involves more trust than just talking to someone. Using it is like making a formal statement that you're not going to hold back any relevant information, and that you're going to offer it as clearly and accurately as you can. Also, because you're being honest about your feelings, in a sense you're laying yourself bare to the other person, the way you did just now when you admitted how you have trouble reading social cues. You can't do that if you think the other person might hurt you while you're vulnerable."

"Again," Kei responded patiently, "it is acknowledged within our society that, assuming a neutral context, lies by omission are unethical, as is providing true information in a misleading fashion. Any act of communication assumes that neither party will knowingly conceal relevant information, and that each will pursue the objective of making the other understand it correctly.

"I am more prepared to grant your point regarding emotional vulnerability. Nevertheless, I am given to understand that this is a general feature of human relationships as well. Uncomfortable admissions are not restricted to the Clear Communication Technique, nor are the risks they entail.

"Hazō, why are you attempting to ascribe the Clear Communication Technique virtues beyond those in its design specification?"

"I was just trying to make a point," Hazō muttered.

Kei decided to relent slightly. It was a tendency of Hazō's to oversell his inventions, and she could not blame him for being proud of their joint creation. Even without being some magnum opus that would revolutionise human communication across the continent, it was a tool of great value that would transform the world for the better were it more broadly adopted.

"Let us grant, purely for the purposes of argument, that the technique truly does elevate conversations to some new unprecedented level of trust. What am I to conclude from this?"

Hazō gave Kei a grateful smile.

"What I wanted to say is that often, the loss of control that comes with touch is the whole point, because it's an expression of trust."

Kei could see how this might be true. Vulnerability generated trust, and trust permitted vulnerability. Mari-sensei had explained it to her. Repeatedly.

"So you are saying that people allow themselves to be touched in order to build trust with each other?"

"Among other things. If you touch someone, you're expressing trust that they won't react badly. If you let someone touch you, you're expressing trust that they're not going to hurt you. It's a two-way street."

Was this so? Kei had never flinched away from Ami's touch. Yet that touch itself had nothing to do with building trust. Rather, it was possible because the trust was already there, already absolute. It was inconceivable for Ami to wish to hurt her. And even if she had… she was Ami. There was nothing Kei would not have given her if she asked.

Nevertheless, the example was inapplicable. There was no creation of trust involved in those acts of touch. They were purely expressions of affection.

Kei understood the use of touch in expressing affection. It was nigh-universal. Doubtless, any partner she acquired in the future would expect it of her as well, and would lose trust in her when she was unable to comply.

Suppose Kei's inability to do so was due to a lack of trust. Presumably, it was theoretically possible for her to trust another human being sufficiently to permit herself a surrender of control in their presence. It would, of course, not happen. Kei still remembered being hugged by Mari-sensei, once, on their final day in Hidden Swamp. This woman had just pulled her back from the brink of annihilation, glimpsed Kei's darkest depths and brought light to them, and yet all Kei could feel at her touch was the helpless terror of the small fish as the shark's maw closed around it.

Conversely, there was another who had earned trust, rapidly and in significant volume, precisely by refraining from touch, by wordlessly communicating a deep understanding of personal space as safety. Kei hoped that she would forgive her for being unable to offer whatever fulfilment touch was supposed to offer. Not that Kei harboured any such feelings towards her. Or that her feelings would be returned even if she were, given Kei's lack of appeal as a person generally and as a woman specifically. To say nothing of the implications of the upcoming marriage.

Enough of that subject.

On further reflection, Kei was unconvinced. She trusted Mari-sensei. She trusted Hazō and Noburi and Akane. In principle, she trusted Kagome—on a peculiar level, he was a kindred spirit to her, another person with essential parts missing, incompetently attempting to navigate a world designed by normal people for normal people. Even to someone of her social skills, Kagome was predictable and therefore unthreatening, at least when he wasn't threatening the survival of her team, her clan and her village by unilaterally attempting to murder her team leader. But such incidents were hardly exceptional within her team as a whole, and in the end she found that she would trust all of them with her life nevertheless.

Yet she would never let any of them touch her.

Furthermore, those relationships of trust had not been built on any touch whatsoever. Indeed, her teammates had earned her trust in part by respecting her personal boundaries instead of treating her as "that weird Mori girl who freaks out when you grab her". For that matter, with the exception of Akane's insistence on hugging people, and Mari-sensei's subtle techniques of manipulation and control, her team had built their other bonds of trust without much touching at all. Certainly, one did not see Hazō and Noburi prancing around hand in hand, and indeed now she visualised it, the image was pure comedy gold.

"I do not believe your description adequately accounts for the use of touch as I have observed it," Kei concluded. "I have witnessed bonds of trust being formed through dialogue and through action, but those who touch each other only tend to do so after such bonds have been established, as opposed to using touch as a tool for building them. Perhaps matters are different in romantic relationships—it would be consistent with the way you and Akane insist on holding hands at every conceivable opportunity, as if such physical contact were all that prevented you from being dispersed to the opposite ends of the continent by some S-rank Wind technique.

"However, in ordinary relationships where such intense emotional bonds have not already been formed, it makes no sense that people should choose to surrender control to others at the point of minimal trust, as a way of acquiring more. Conversely, once a reasonable degree of trust has been established, there are plenty of means of furthering it that do not require one to train oneself to suppress the feelings of danger that regularly ensure a shinobi's survival.

"Is that the extent of the insight you have to offer on the subject?"

It came out harsher than she had intended. But she was disappointed. Part of her had hoped that Hazō would have an answer, some means of bridging the gap between her and the rest of humanity. After years on the road, Kei was about to be once again immersed in ninja village society, and she had to perform more competently as a human being than she had in Mist. She couldn't return to that way of life.

"Sorry, Keiko," Hazō dashed her hopes. "I'll let you know if I come up with anything else.

"But I do want to say one thing. We do all know you trust us, touch or no touch. The Clear Communication Technique wouldn't work if you didn't. And I don't think you have to force yourself to learn to touch people if you don't want to. You're a paranoid shinobi—in the Kagome meaning of the word—and if people think it's strange that you flinch away from touch, then just play up your background. You're a hardcore ex-missing-nin who's survived dangers those poor village ninja can't imagine, and if they think it's weird how you don't want to be touched, then they should try camping out in a forest full of dropbears sometime.

"That said, being chained by your fears sucks. I mean, obviously nothing bad actually happens when people touch each other, so it would be a lot better for you to overcome your fear of touch so you can do it too."

"I am not afraid of touch!" Kei snapped almost without thinking. "I have strong personal boundaries. That is not the same as cowardice, and I resent the implication."

This was a lie. Of course Kei was a coward. There were so many aspects of her life that she surely could have changed by now, had she only the courage, and this was but one of them. Everyone else was capable of touching others—even Kagome was merely uncomfortable with hugs—yet to her the very idea was paralysing. What was this, if not the most contemptible cowardice?

"Of course not," Hazō said, placating her like a small child, which she supposed her outburst had earned. "I didn't mean to offend you.

"There was one more thing I wanted to ask you about, if that's OK. It sounds like, apart from your sister, your family didn't take much of an interest in you. I can't exactly imagine what that must have been like, given how close I was with my mother—though I guess you could argue that the entire rest of my clan pretending I didn't exist might count—but if you want to talk about it, maybe that might resolve the underlying problem."

"What underlying problem?" Kei asked. "At the age when Mori children commence aptitude testing, it was demonstrated that I was mediocre at best. My parents, who had been hoping for another prodigy like Ami, were gravely disappointed, and judged me to neither require nor deserve attention beyond what was necessary in order to raise me as a productive member of the clan. It was a rational decision that allowed them to allocate their time and resources more efficiently. I fail to see what there is to discuss, unless you are merely expressing curiosity concerning my background."

"I'm just wondering," Hazō explained, "whether that situation has something to do with your fea—dislike of touch now. I mean, if you didn't experience much affection through touch as a young child, maybe that would make sense of why you're not comfortable with the idea now."

"It seems unlikely," Kei said. "Mist, like every village, contains many orphans who may have lost their parents at a young age and thus been deprived of parental affection. Yet they do not demonstrate an aversion to touch as I do. Equally, there exist many strict households where casual physical intimacy surely does not occur. Indeed, I was even so fortunate as to receive affection from Ami, my sister, where other children in an analogous position might find themselves in total isolation."

Hazō gave her a strange look. "Keiko, I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure it's not normal for parents to abandon their children just because they don't live up to their expectations."

"What are you talking about? Of course it's normal. It's a matter of rational optimisation. Parents are no different to other shinobi in that they have limited resources with which to serve their clan and their village, and must allocate them as effectively as possible. In cases such as mine, when it is apparent that extensive investment in a child's upbringing will not generate sufficient return, it is sensible to perform only the necessary minimum and spend the rest of one's time and energy elsewhere.

"If anything," Kei felt herself growing irritated, "my parents were generous. They not only permitted but expected my presence at family mealtimes. They tolerated Ami's decision to spend time with me, despite the fact that any other activity on her part would have been of greater benefit to the clan. They held me to the family's high standards despite my demonstrated ineptitude. They even expressed occasional interest in my activities at the Academy, a topic of no relevance to the lives of adult shinobi like themselves. It is not as if I were an unwanted civilian child, knowing I would be the one to starve to death should a lean year bring insufficient food to sustain the entire family."

Hazō seemed taken aback, which was only appropriate. Who was he to pass judgement on her family? To imply that she had somehow been systematically mistreated, simply because her relationship with her parents was different to his? Did he expect her to be jealous that his mother had, for lack of any other options, apparently invested such a vast amount of herself in a bond with her son? That he was so close to her that, two years on, he was prepared to risk his life in order to be with her again and believed she would do the same?

It was insulting. Ridiculous. Kei was a provisional chūnin. Practically an adult. There was somebody out there who wanted her hand in marriage. She was not some child to be led astray by fanciful imaginings of a life that could not and should not exist.

She needed to be alone.

"I have other matters to attend to, Hazō. I will see you at dinner."

She left quickly. It would have been dangerous to wait for him to respond.

-o-

Sorry for the lateness and limited scope of the chapter. I hoped this week would be different from the last, but apparently it wasn't. XP allocation once again reserved for @eaglejarl so I don't end up grading a single conversation.

eaglejarl · Jun 26, 2017

Chapter 138: The Morning Tide

It was a tired and footsore group that arrived at the walls of Ise. They had been traveling for far too long with far too few breaks and everyone was looking forward to sleeping in a bed for the night as opposed to making camp in the woods again.

"Kagome, no way am I letting you into a city full of strangers," Minami said. "You, Hazō, and Mori can drop off the messages in the small villages while Ishihara, Wakahisa, and I go into the city. We'll meet back here tomorrow at noon." She held out the relevant scrolls.

"Yes, ma'am," Hazō said, taking the scrolls with a sigh and firmly sitting on the disappointment of not getting to enjoy civilization for at least one night. Or getting to spend that night with Akane.

Talking! Spend that night talking with Akane! That was absolutely not where he had intended to let his thoughts go and wow wasn't that an interesting thought and...no! Talking! Talking, and taking things slowly as Mari-sensei had said! Yes, absolutely!

"Hey, Minami, can we stay at an inn tonight?" Noburi asked. "Somewhere with baths? I would love a nice hot bath to get all this road dirt off."

"Sounds like a plan," Minami said, smiling. "I wouldn't mind getting some dango, either."

"A hot bath would be most youthful!" said Mean Girlfriend. "Perhaps we could choose an inn with laundry service?" Oh, that was just rubbing it in. His clothes were all gritty and smelly and— "Hazō, Kagome, Keiko, I could take your dirty clothes in with me if you'd like...?" Best Girlfriend, you're back!

Minutes later, the city-bound group was heading for the fleshpots and laundry services of civilization while the rest were setting off on the next stage of their seemingly endless voyage through the Land of Mud Huts. Their only consolation: A promise of clean clothes on the following day. Win!

o-o-o-o

The first of the two villages they were delivering to was a small place on a caravan road a day's civilian travel away from Ise. It didn't take long to get there, drop off their message, and then retreat to the woods before Kagome-sensei had an aneurysm from being surrounded by so many strangers. It was too far to the next stop to make it before sunset, so Hazō pulled up a MEW shelter and they all crawled inside. They could continue on in the morning. For now, it was time to unseal and wolf down food, then arrange blankets and sleeping pads.

"Kagome-sensei," Hazō said once everything was dealt with. "I was thinking...."

"Brace for impact," Kagome-sensei muttered.

Hazō ignored him with the ease of long experience. "Keiko suggested to me that proximity detection was probably the most valuable thing I could be working on. How hard is it? Could we reduce your Lesser Barrier Formation down to one seal and make it trigger based on proximity detection? How about making it so that seals recognize the chakra of particular people and won't trigger near them? How difficult would it be to infuse a seal like that? Can we make seals that activate upon tearing? The idea is like the implosion seals that we've used before. How dangerous would it be to mount Force Barriers on Fuma Shurikens? How much for regular shurikens? What about a set of force barriers, placed to sharpen to an edge or point? I think we could make a better shield if we could get the Air Dome down to one seal. Make it activate with a fixed radius and use it while skywalking. Also, really crazy idea: if we used a bunch of seals to delimit a volume of chakra water very precisely, would it be possible to seal that chakra water? Would we be able to unseal it safely? Could we—"

"Stop!" Kagome-sensei growled. He sighed and rubbed his face. "When we get back to Leaf we could look into some of this whenever Du—Minami isn't keeping me hopping. In the meantime, to answer that verbal mudslide: It's hard. Anything is possible, theoretically. I wouldn't know where to start. No idea. OBVIOUSLY NOT AND THAT'S NOT HOW IMPLOSION SEALS WORK AND HAVE YOU LISTENED TO NOTHING I'VE TOLD YOU?! Force Walls are too big for shuriken of any size, shrinking them is hard, keeping the seals aligned would be hard, and reducing it to one seal is impossible so you'd be designing a new seal from scratch. You can already do that. I don't even know what that means and you can't seal chakra water anyway so I'll just say no. Obviously not, since you weren't able to seal it in the first place. Now, good night." He rolled over and pulled his blankets over himself.

"But, sensei—!"

"Good night!"

Hazō glared at Keiko's amused snort. For some obnoxious reason, she failed to spontaneously catch on fire.

o-o-o-o

"In there?" Noburi asked, trying hard to look casual as he stared at the eye-searing green letters that spelled out MADAME TANAKA'S HOUSE OF WHORES AND CIGARS "So...who's our contact again?"

Minami looked at the briefing papers. "'Beautiful Jade Flower'...says here that she's an expert at massage."

"Oh, good." Noburi looked halfway between relieved and disappointed; Akane chuckled.

"Huh," said Minami. "There's a note here. Says 'have her stroke her hair from your kneecaps to your nipples; it's amazing.'"

Noburi goggled. "What? No. It doesn't really say that, does it?"

"Says it right here," Minami said innocently, waving the briefing sheet at him. "You'll have to be the contact, Wakahisa. Apparently she doesn't service female clients."

"Uuuuhhhh...."

"Here," Minami said, handing him a money pouch and a piece of folded-up paper. "Tell her you want the 'around the world' and give her the pouch. She'll take you to one of the back rooms, and once you're there you can deliver the message. Be careful not to blow her cover by coming out too soon, though. Just let her perform the service so that everything looks right."

"But...I...."

"Ohhhh, right." Minami nodded in sudden realization. "You're henged as your own age, aren't you? Okay, it's probably better if you do come out right away. Nobody will think twice about a teenage boy who finishes his 'massage' quickly. That'll be good, actually. Save us a lot of time."

Noburi gaped at her like a fish, his brain so locked up that he almost didn't manage to get out of the way of the latest group of sailors pushing past them and into the doors of the shop. The three ninja were standing to the side and speaking quietly but the streets were busy and most of the clientele of Madame Tanaka's were in a hurry.

"I...I can't, but, um...."

Minami gave him a bright smile and a comradely punch in the shoulder. "That's the ticket, Wakahisa! I appreciate how willing you are to take one for the team!"

"Gaaaahhhhhhhh—!"

"Minami," Akane said reprovingly, although struggling to contain her laughter. "Stop teasing him. Just because he's forgotten the details of the contact doesn't mean you get to break him." She turned to Noburi. "Noburi, we're seeing the bouncer, Tanaka Iwao. Relax."

Minami laughed. "Spoilsport. Okay, come on." She pushed herself off the wall she'd been leaning on and marched up the steps to the door of Madame Tanaka's, the two genin trailing along behind her.

The man on the door was roughly the size of a barn and as polite as one could ask for. He accepted their entrance fee and eyed them up and down for a moment, although Noburi wasn't sure what he was looking for. Their henges were simple—Akane and Noburi were both their same age, gender, and build but had changed hair color and features enough to be unrecognizable. Minami's henge was the only one that required significant acting skills: she looked ten years older and fifty pounds heavier than her true self. Regardless, the door guard gave them a polite smile and bowed them inside with a polished grace that would have amazed Noburi if he'd had the brain left to be aware of it. As it was, the young ninja was far too busy to be paying attention to social cues; he was almost physically holding his head still so that it didn't spin around to gawp at all the lovely flesh that was so beautifully displayed in the lavish parlor that was the downstairs front room of Madame Tanaka's. He just kept chanting silently to himself, be cool, Noburi, be cool, don't look like a dork, be cool.

Minami strode straight to the bar and hopped up on a seat at the end. "Three house sakes, please," she said to the beautiful and lightly-clad woman behind the counter. "Also, I'd like a Daimyo Nakanishi Gold, please. Cherrywood light."

"Of course, ma'am," the bartender said, her smile a work of art as beautiful as the diaphanous layers of green and blue silk scarves that made up her 'clothing'. The drinks seemed to materialize in front of the team, each in a delicate glass cup. Moments later she set a miniature sword stand in front of Minami. The stand was the size of a woman's hand, carefully lacquered in crimson and gold, with an elegant simplicity that screamed of wealth. A sleek black cigar with a gold-foil band around the center occupied the top rack of the stand, while the bottom held a polished sliver of cherrywood. Minami admired the display for a moment until the bartender returned with a fingerbowl of water and a tiny hibachi containing a single red-hot coal.

"Thank you," Minami said. She picked up the cherrywood stick, held it against the coal and blew softly until the wood ignited, then used the flame to light the cigar. Noburi stared in fascination at the tiny glowing line that swept up the carefully-layered black paper of the cigar. Once it was going properly, Minami extinguished the stick in the fingerbowl and turned to survey the room, the ridiculously expensive tube of burning weeds dangling absently from her left hand.

Noburi coughed as some of the cigar smoke drifted his way. Minami waved her free hand to shoo the smoke away from him. "Drink," she hissed. "We're here to have a good time, remember?"

"Right!" Noburi said, hoisting his glass a little too fervently. "Happy birthday, mom! May the next forty be as good as the first forty!"

Minami looked at him in shock. "What?"

"Genta!" Akane said, unable to conceal the smile. "Be discreet!"

"I am not forty!" Minami said. "And I'm not—"

"Right!" Noburi said, looking abashed. "Sorry, mom, I forgot. May the next 'thirty-two''"—he made the air quotes with his fingers—"be as good as the first 'thirty-two'."

"Happy birthday, ma'am!" the bartender said, reappearing with a brilliant smile. "Are your children taking you out for your birthday? That's so thoughtful!" She lowered her voice. "Is this truly your thirty-second birthday? Would you please be so kind as to share your secret? You don't look more than twenty-five!"

Minami glared daggers at Noburi. "I am twenty-five," she said. "My little brother is teasing me."

Noburi rolled his eyes. "Yes, 'big sister'." He made the air quotes again, then leaned over and whispered to Akane, "Mom really needs to get over it, doesn't she?"

"Genta!" Akane hissed, the attempt at reproof completely ruined by barely suppressed laughter, "Be nice!"

Noburi gave a long-suffering sigh. "Here, miss," he said to the bartender, holding out the pouch of money that Minami had given him outside. "If you would be kind enough to start a tab for my m—my sister, that would be great."

The bartender's smile became dazzling. "Such a young gentleman! Absolutely, sir. Please, let me know if you would like anything." She bowed herself off to the nearest thirsty sailor.

"What was that?!" Minami hissed.

Noburi smugged at her. "A mom and her two kids at a birthday party?" he whispered. "Great idea for a cover! I appreciate how willing you are to take one for the team!"

Minami glared at him while Akane choked back laughter.

o-o-o-o

Ten minutes later, a large man in the clothes of a moderately wealthy civilian slid onto the seat next to Minami and waved for a drink. He waited until it had been poured and the bartender had swirled away to other duties, then turned to Minami. "You have excellent tastes in cigars, ma'am," he said with a smile. "Although, I prefer ash lights. I find the cherrywood overwhelms the subtler flavors."

"We shall agree to disagree, good sir," Minami said, finishing the sign/countersign. She glanced around to check that no one was close enough to overhear, then continued. "We have a message from the top for you. We are to collect anything you need to send on, and if you need any short-term muscle we might be able to help. We're only in town for a day, though."

He laughed for public consumption, the courteous and restrained laughter of a middle-aged man sharing a moment of humor with an attractive woman in public. "Not here," he whispered. "Blow me off, then sit and have a good time for thirty minutes in case anyone is watching. Then meet me at this address." He took her hand in his and bent forward, lips brushing lightly across her knuckles.

Minami pulled her hand back with a look of surprise. "You seem charming, sir, but I'm afraid that this is a family evening. I'm sure you understand."

He shook his head sadly. "Of course. My apologies for inserting myself into your celebration." He bowed shallowly and left.

o-o-o-o

It was true, as Minami had stated earlier, that the team were not infiltrators, yet they managed to sit and behave like celebrating civilians for half an hour. At no point during that time did Minami glance at the card Tanaka Iwao had slipped into her palm when he kissed her hand. Indeed, she waited five minutes before casually slipping it into a pocket.

It was nearly an hour before the group finished their playacting, moved around the city enough to be sure they weren't being tailed, then changed their henges and stealthed up to the address they'd been given.

The place was actually on the same block as Madame Tanaka's, on the opposite side from the brothel's main entrance. It was a small and unassuming garden-level grey door, positioned under an overhang that left the door and its threshold in shadow most of the day.

Tanaka must have been waiting for them, because the door opened seconds after Minami knocked. "May I help you?" he asked politely, glancing calmly between the three faces that looked nothing like the ones he'd spoken to earlier. He had changed clothes at some point; now he wore the simple brown linens common to manual laborers on the job and bachelors at home.

Minami held up the card he'd given her. "I prefer ash lights. I find the cherrywood overwhelms the subtler flavors."

He nodded and ushered them through the door into a dingy room with a small table, four chairs, and a sidebar with various cheap alcohols and a half-dozen glasses. The below-ground windows were curtained over, so the dim light of the oil lamp threw shadows that failed to disguise the water stains in the walls.

"Please, be seated," he said, waving to the chairs. "Your timing is excellent; I have several things to go out and one of them is urgent. The next scheduled pickup isn't for three days and that would have been too late."

"Great! Glad to be of service," Minami said. She slid a scroll across the table to him. "So, first off, here's the message we're supposed to give you. What have you got?"

Tanaka took the scroll and shoved it into his satchel, pulling out a trio of other scrolls in the process. Each had been tagged with a distinctly-colored chop; he selected the red one and held it out. "This one is for Lord Jiraiya, urgent priority. The others are for two of my counterparts, one in Keishi and one in a small town in Hot Springs."

Noburi and Akane traded looks.

"I see," Minami said carefully. She picked up the scrolls and tucked them into her pack. "Okay, well, we have a lot of stops to make so we aren't going to make it to Keishi or Hot Springs soon. We can get the message to Jiraiya faster than you might expect, though. Now, was there anything you wanted physical help with?"

"Yes!" He sat forward, hands folded tensely together and an excited glint in his eyes. "That was the subject of my message to Lord Jiraiya—I have reliable intel that would allow you to capture Goda Haruto!"

He watched as the expected excitement completely failed to appear on the faces of his audience.

"Goda Haruto is a Yakuza money man," he said dejectedly. "He's a roving troubleshooter; he goes from territory to territory checking their books and making sure the local bosses are sending on the proper share. He travels with a group of enforcers. They rolled into town a couple weeks ago on the Sunset Racer, a sloop down on Dock Three. They leave tomorrow for Water Country. I'm not sure how long they'll be there, but probably two weeks if it's like this one. Still, it's Water Country."

Noburi struggled not to flinch. He was sure he hadn't given anything away, but Minami glancing at him sharply didn't help. Good job with the OPSEC there, team leader.

"How do you know it's Goda?" Noburi asked, trying to cover for Minami's lapse.

"The House is popular with merchants and sailors," Tanaka began. "We get a lot of repeat traffic, so we hear a lot about who and what is moving around. We give a discount to Yakuza because we're not stupid, and in return we get protection and information. Well, about two weeks ago Boss Okimoto comes in for a private party and tells Madam that his guest is an honored associate and to please extend him every courtesy. I wasn't working that night but the girls told me all about it; they were pissed because the guy brought some outside talent."

"Outside talent?"

"Yeah, you know, girls or boys who don't work for the House. Anyway, Boss Okimoto is hosting the party. He's brought his son, his two main underbosses, and his three favorite enforcers. The guest is a shrimpy little guy with dead eyes. He's got an escort of five goons and a pair of flash girls—"

"Sorry, 'flash girls'?" Noburi asked.

"Arm candy? Hot girls who hang on your arm to make you look like a bigshot but they don't actually provide services. Sometimes they're willing to put up with a little kissing and maybe some—"

"Right, got it! Thanks!" Noburi could feel his skin trying to ignite and burn his henge away.

Tanaka chuckled. "Anyway, they come in and Boss Okimoto introduces them to Madam as his honored associates—not guests, which could be anyone he's trying to butter up, 'associates'. He asks her to start an unlimited tab for this guy, for the duration of his stay. Let me tell you, that's not a thing that Boss Okimoto does.

"Anyway, that's two weeks ago. Since then, the little shrimpy guy—he calls himself Oki—has been in every three or four days. He's always got those flash girls with him and he's always got an escort of five guys, but he's picking from a pool of ten or fifteen goons because there's clearly some rotation going on.

"Night before last, Eguchi is in. He's one of the underbosses that Boss Okimoto brought that night. Real up-and-comer, ambitious. Two weeks ago he's got all his fingers, now he's missing a pinky. He's at the bar, looking about ready to spit, and everyone's walking soft around him because he likes to hit when he gets drunk and there's only so much you can do with a guy like him. Anyway, Oki and his crew roll in; Eguchi sees them come through the door and he practically dumps his moneypouch on the bar he's in such a hurry to get out. Oki steps in his way and I'm praying to every kami I've ever heard of that Eguchi keeps his cool because I'm on duty and I really do not want to have to wade into the mess that's about to happen. I'm hovering around, trying not to be noticed but staying close enough that I can hopefully distract Eguchi if he starts something.

"Blessings to the Sage, he doesn't. Oki asks him if the cargo has been assembled yet, Eguchi politely answers that the last of it is being located and will be at the dock by morning. Oki gives him a nod and says not to worry, that he's going to be here an extra day and the ship's captain has agreed to delay. Soft-spoken guy, but I couldn't decide if he's polite or just doesn't care about anyone more than he cares about a bug so it's not worth getting angry."

Minami raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. "So, an out of town Yakuza with a signficant bodyguard comes to town and the locals roll out the red carpet. Suddenly, one of the ambitious underbosses shows up having just made apologies for a serious but not fatal mistake. Could be a coincidence."

"Could be, but it hangs together pretty well," Noburi said thoughtfully. "How do you know they're on the Sunset Racer?"

Tanaka shrugged. "Most sailors go through the House at some point when they're in port. Might not get every member of the crew on every stop, might not always get the captain or the purser, but we get enough that unless something is really hush-hush we generally know who is traveling on which hull and at least something about their cargo and their next destination. When you get a big group of heavily-armed hard cases with Yakuza tattoos packed onto a sloop the size of the Racer, we definitely hear about that."

"So what do you want from us?" Minami asked.

"I figure this has to be worth something to the boss, right?" Tanaka said. "I mean, Goda is a big fish. If I gave you what you needed to catch him, that might be enough to get me and my sister set up in Leaf, yeah?"

Minami blinked. "You want a place in Leaf?"

"Well, yeah. An apartment—doesn't have to be big or fancy, just safe. Get Miku into school; I want her to learn her letters and numbers, maybe get a job as a clerk in a few years. You don't have to worry about me—I'll find a job somewhere. Leaf has bars and whorehouses, right? They need bouncers? And janitors, and big guys who can carry stuff?"

"Ah...yeah. Yeah, we have bouncers. And janitors, and jobs where you need to carry stuff."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Okay, I should be able to find a job, then. We won't cost you much—give us an escort to Leaf and a month's grace on the rent and the school. I'll support us from there on."

The three ninja exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Tanaka, I can't promise anything," Minami said. "I'm a courier, I don't have authority to negotiate anything like this."

Tanaka gave a fatalistic shrug. "Not like I could do anything to stop you if you wanted to welch on the deal. Leaf has mostly played fair with us in the past, I'm hoping you will this time too. That's why I didn't try to negotiate up front. I figure I'm better off helping as much as I can. You Leaf types are supposed to care about loyalty and taking care of kids, so I'm hoping that if I live up to this...'Will of Fire', I think it was? Anyway, if I live up to it maybe you will too."

Minami stared at him, clearly having no idea what to say. All too familiar with covering for brain-locked teammates, Noburi hurried to jump in. "Do you know when Goda leaves?"

"Morning tide," Tanaka said. "That's assuming his schedule doesn't change again."

"Right," Minami said. "Okay. Well, fine. We'll send the message to Jiraiya, and we'll figure out what we can do about Goda. Anything else for us?"

"No," Tanaka said. "Please...please put in a good word with Lord Jiraiya, all right?"

"Absolutely," Minami said, standing up and bowing to Tanaka. "Thank you, Tanaka. I hope Jiraiya is able to give you what you want. I wish you all the best."

Akane and Noburi echoed her thanks and moments later the three ninja were back on the street. The minute their feet hit pavement, Noburi turned and strode off towards the city gate.

"Minami, we need to get out of here," he hissed. "We need to catch up to the others before Keiko checks in with the pangolins at sunset. Jiraiya needs to hear this right now."

"What? Why?" Minami followed along beside him, too surprised by her subordinate's assurance to object to his taking command. "The others are on their way to the surrounding villages. We probably can't catch them before sundown. And slow down, you're attracting attention."

Noburi bit his lip. The relevant information was classified and the first rule of classified information was to not talk about classified information. The second rule of classified information was to not talk around classified information. Which left him in a bit of a bind.

"This is that classified thing that the Hokage said we weren't allowed to talk about," he said at last. "Let me put it this way: if the Hokage thinks that this news isn't flash-priority urgent, I'll do all the camp chores single-handed for the rest of this trip."

Minami digested that for a moment and then sighed. "I hope you're right. Come on, we aren't going to catch them if we maintain cover." She turned and raced up the side of the nearest building before making a beeline for the edge of the city closest to where Hazō's team had been going. Noburi and Akane were stepping on her shadow the whole way and all three of them steadfastly ignored all the shouting and pointing from the streets below as the civilians reacted to the unexpected sight of ninja roof-running in broad daylight.

Noburi restrained himself from snorting because it wasted breath, but he couldn't help being amused by the thought: They were currently engaged in a violation of OPSEC severe enough to make even Mr. Mew proud, and he would honestly be able to say 'it seemed like a good idea at the time.'

XP Award: Previously assigned NB: This chapter covers the last scene of a plan that has unfolded over the course of the last couple chapters. The XP has already been given out.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, June 28, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Author's Notes:

The plan said: "Can we check out the Isan seals? Have we already? What did they do?" No, you have not yet looked at the Isan seals. Nor will you until you return to Leaf; you are on a 'move absolutely as fast as humanly possible with no delays' mission. There is no time to be building seal research facilities and spending days or weeks poking at seals.

Velorien · Jun 29, 2017

Interlude: His Other Shadow

Nara Shiori bounced out of bed to greet the seventeenth day of her new life. From a lowly branch family member with an uncertain future (exaggerated to provide an emotional safety margin) to the personal assistant of Shikamaru himself—it was a fairy tale come true, even with all that her family had sacrificed to make it happen. The clan heir, the genius who'd broken the Shin'ichi Test, the leader of her generation's Ino-Shika-Chō with a flawless mission record. After all those years of admiring him from afar…

Ahem.

A few minutes later, she rapped her knuckles insistently against his door, ignoring the sign that read, "Do not disturb for anything short of a Class Five".

After several seconds, it opened just enough to reveal Shikamaru's bleary-eyed face, and of course his hands. He stared at her balefully.

"Good morning," he muttered. Factually inaccurate phatic statement. Even his sign language was lethargic, but on the other hand it was amazing how the famous Shikamaru dry wit functioned even when he was half-asleep.

"Good morning!" she beamed. This statement is normative rather than descriptive. "Are you ready to come down for breakfast?"

Shikamaru groaned. "Fine. I'm on my way. How can you be so lively this early in the morning?" I ask this question in full awareness that the answer may be beyond my security clearance.

"Perks of being a half-blood," she stuck her tongue out at him, even as her treacherous hands signed, Lacks empirical data. She was aware that her behaviour was out of sync with Shikamaru's general energy levels, but Lord Shikaku had been very clear on how he expected her to act, and why.

Shikamaru shambled after her without further comment.

"Lord Shikaku has been summoned by the Hokage and Lady Yoshino is coordinating a statistics team requested by the Hokage's Office," Shiori rattled off briskly. This information is of no immediate significance, but you should take note of it in case it is useful later. "You have taijutsu practice scheduled at eight, a briefing with Research and Development at ten, and the usual at midday. You have reserved the afternoon for team activities. I've traded your two hours from Shika for an hour's sparring with Mistress Shiemi, and purchased an apology gift for Yamanaka Ino, which you will find with your daily gear." I am aware that you know this already, but am reminding you because even a small risk of forgetting is unacceptable.

"That was entirely unnecessary," Shikamaru grumbled, shovelling spiced congee into his mouth at a rate that said good things about Shiori's latest culinary experiment. "Appeasing her petty grudges is only going to encourage her." I can confirm this based on repeated testing in live combat.

"You cast aspersions on a teenage girl's potential for… physical development," Shiori disagreed. "It's amazing how she didn't punch you out on the spot." Based on the information available to me, this is not an exaggeration.

"It was supposed to be a compliment! Large chests are an inconvenience to kunoichi in any number of ways!" Your argument is not only irrational but encourages practices that interfere with open communication.

Shiori showed nothing of her jubilation on her face. His preferences were noted.

"Shikamaru, you are giving her an apology gift and that's final. As your personal assistant, it is my explicit duty to watch your back and make sure you don't get yourself killed doing something stupid." I am making this potentially offensive statement out of concern for your welfare and do not wish to impugn your worth as a person.

Shikamaru sighed and finally met her eyes. "Thank you for the meal. The extra cinnamon was a good thought." It was his concession to her wisdom, sweetened further still by the accompanying sign. My present negative attitude is caused by external factors and is not a reflection of how I perceive you.

Looking at his graceful but unmotivated body language as he rose from his seat, Shiori was once again grateful that she wasn't of the main family bloodline, and not just for the obvious reason (less than 10% probability, but still non-zero).

-o-

The training yard should have been empty this time of day. She'd spent half her free time yesterday running around and checking timetables for that very purpose, ensuring that this time there were no other ninja who could serve as Shikamaru's sparring partner. All to make sure he was completely undistracted when Mistress Shiemi turned up in the second hour, of course (my ulterior motives in this matter are not relevant to the substance of the discussion).

Instead, she could see her least favourite person in the world, plus two of her interchangeable hangers-on.

"Shiori," Shirayuki greeted her with a fake smile, "always nice to see you. I see you're being a great help to Shikamaru as always." I am saying the opposite of what I mean to deceive eavesdroppers, she signed as her flunkies moved to screen her hands from Shikamaru. The man himself was stretching his muscles off to the side and sensibly not getting involved. It did not take a Yamanaka to tell what word was going through his mind.

"Shirayuki," Shiori acknowledged coldly. You are embarrassing yourself in public and should leave ASAP to minimise the damage, she signed, making no effort to hide it from Shikamaru. True Nara didn't lie to each other.

Shirayuki gave a sickly-sweet laugh. "You're always such a riot, Shiori. This is why everyone likes you." I am presenting this hypothetical scenario as an absurd joke rather than a piece of data.

"That's nice," Shiori said. "Go away now. I have things to do." I apologise for speaking at a level of complexity which may be too difficult for you to follow. Please let me know if you need me to simplify it for you.

Shirayuki looked like she'd bitten down on a chakra lemon, provoking it into shifting to predator mode. "Why, you—I, uh, don't think so. You're obviously planning to spar, and I think Shikamaru should have the best opponent he possibly can. Isn't that right, girls?" I wish to end this discussion as it clearly has no more value to offer.

"Of course, Shirayuki." Complete agreement.

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Shirayuki." Respect for a well-presented argument.

Shirayuki smirked. "Which is why I'll be taking over now. You should go do some paperwork, or clean dirty sandals, or whatever it is the main family keeps you around for. We both know you're no match for me." This is a purely factual matter which cannot be influenced by argumentation.

"Maybe I wasn't last year." Painful, humiliating memories flickered before Shiori's eyes. But they were memories that belonged to another girl, one who hadn't been Nara Shikamaru's right hand. One who hadn't had something greater than herself to fight for. "People change." Allow me to present you with incontrovertible proof.

"Let's throw down."

Shirayuki barely waited for her to finish speaking before letting loose one of her famous spin kicks.

Shiori leapt back to dodge, Shirayuki's foot nearly grazing her nose. There was no way Shiori had the raw strength to block one of those things.

Opening up distance to begin with was key, and well worth spending some of her precious chakra to get that little bit further. It left her in position for the next step.

Shiori pulled out one of her special practice kunai, twisting her body backwards and side-on as if gathering extra strength for the throw, but in reality performing a last-minute adjustment. Then she threw with unerring, painstakingly-trained aim. Her hands were already making seals as the kunai flew.

But Shirayuki saw through her trick instantly. She moved aside ever so slightly to avoid the kunai with her superior reflexes—then grabbed the ninja wire attached to it and yanked it hard.

Instead of being able to send her shadow down the wire with Shadow Imitation, Shiori was tugged forwards, off-balance, before she could activate the technique. And the second she was vulnerable, Shirayuki charged in, ready to end the fight with a single rib-breaking elbow strike.

However, with perfect mental discipline, Shiori had held on to her moulded chakra. Throwing a foot forward to steady herself, she completed the Shadow Imitation just as Shirayuki reached her. Her natural shadow, falling the right way after Shiori had made sure to jump in that particular direction at the start, fell on Shirayuki's elbow, locking her movement down.

Or not. Shirayuki had anticipated her every action. Her elbow strike wasn't a real elbow strike—it was her bringing up one arm while her hands made the seals for her own Shadow Imitation Technique.

Shirayuki's chakra was much stronger than hers. Of course it was. One of the Shadow Imitations overwhelmed the other, and Shiori lost all control of her body.

Shirayuki moved to finish off her victim the traditional Nara way. Both girls straightened up and reached for the kunai in their pouches. Except Shiori had to reach for a normal practice kunai while Shirayuki reached for the special Nara kunai with a missing blade. All she had to do was make one horizontal swipe, and Shiori would effectively cut her own throat.

Shiori helplessly pulled out the kunai, the movement empowered by all of Shirayuki's superior strength. But the motion tugged on the ninja wire which went from it to her original kunai, passing through Shiori's belt as if through a pulley. The loop of extra wire she'd originally measured out tightened abruptly. And it just so happened to have fallen in the only place Shirayuki could put her foot during her fake elbow strike.

Shirayuki had indeed anticipated Shiori's every action. But Shiori had anticipated that as well.

Her foot pulled out from under her by her own imitated movement, Shirayuki toppled backwards, breaking her concentration. Shiori threw herself after her—her hand already holding the kunai Shirayuki had made her draw. The point of the blade was at Shirayuki's throat the instant she hit the ground.

"Checkmate." Shikamaru's voice broke her combat focus.

Shiori turned to look at him, still pinning down a stunned Shirayuki. Had he been watching the entirety of her fight? She didn't know whether to feel proud or mortified.

"Mate in four," Shikamaru said offhandedly. "Not bad. Come at me when you're ready, and let's see if you can make it to six."

And with those words, he finally gave Shiori the hand sign she had been waiting for all these years.

You have my undivided attention.

eaglejarl · Jul 3, 2017

Chapter 139: Murder

Nikkō didn't speak on the way to rejoin the others; she was too busy thinking. What could possibly be significant enough about a yakuza banker that it warranted a flash priority message? The yakuza were a good source of missions and useful for keeping civilians alive and in line so that ninja could focus on other things, but it wasn't like they were important. What was Wakahisa on about?

Typical. This was just typical of this team. Not telling her what was going on, talking around her, living in that little bubble of theirs that excluded everyone who wasn't a Cold Stone Killer.

No, that wasn't fair. They were many things, but liars did not seem to be among those things. They had kept things from her but they had never actually said anything untrue as far as she knew. If Wakahisa said that this was related to classified information then it probably was related to classified information and not them deliberately excluding her. There were plenty of times that you had to just shut up and soldier on, relying on the fact that your teammate knew something you didn't. It was a little weird to have that happen to the woman who was supposed to be the team commander, but so it was. Still, 'break cover and rejoin the rest of the team at speed' was one thing, but she was going to need some answers before she would let them hijack the mission any further! Oh yessiree, there would be an explanation before they went dragging her off to—

Oh.

Oh, crap.

o-o-o-o

Her thoughts were still in turmoil when they finally tracked the rest of the team down.

"Keiko, stop, don't send the messenger!" Wakahisa shouted the moment they were in sight of the team's shelter. "We need—"

Kagome, Stealth ?d100: ?
Nikkō, Awareness ?d100: ?
Class C victory for Kagome (50)

"Don't move, you stinkers," Kagome hissed from far too close behind them. "Who are you and what have you done with Noburi and Dumbbutt?"

Nikkō froze, cursing herself for not noticing the paranoid wackjob. Was this it? This was his chance to wipe them out and claim that it had been an intruder henged as them. And, just to add insult to injury, the last word she heard was going to be that stupid nickname.

"Kagome, it's us," Wakahisa said quickly. "Apple ratberry firepit idiot."

"Dinner log dirt rocks," came the reply, the tone confused and suspicious. "What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here. We were supposed to meet back by the city at noon tomorrow. You said we would meet back by the city at noon tomorrow. Why—"

"Kagome, stand down and let them talk," Mori said, emerging from the shelter with Kurosawa a step behind. "Noburi, Minami, what is it?"

A rustling in the bushes heralded Kagome joining the party with his hands in sight and not pointing anything threatening or explosive or doom-inspiring at her; Nikkō stifled a relieved sigh.

"We found a guy, a yakuza banker, who might have a lead on that thing we aren't allowed to talk about," Wakahisa said, the words tumbling out excitedly. "He's leaving on the morning tide from Ise and we didn't actually ask when the morning tide was but it's probably pretty soon. He might know—"

"Stop," Mori said, holding out a raised palm in warning. "You are on the edge of classified information."

"Is this about Leaf's jinchūriki being kidnapped?" Nikkō asked, fighting to sound casual instead of smug. "Because I'm guessing it's about Leaf's jinchūriki being kidnapped."

Wakahisa and Kurosawa blinked in surprise. Mori just looked tired.

"How do you know that?" Kurosawa asked.

"When I was lecturing Kagome after his stupid attempt at murder, I mentioned finding Uzumaki," Mori reminded him. "She must have known that it was wildly unlikely for the son of the Fourth Hokage to either be killed on a mission or to go missing-nin. After all, he is a child who—according to Ino, anyway—is respected throughout Leaf for his power, his sunny personality, and his dedication to the village. He is so impressive that he took the Chūnin exams after a year. He is the godson of a Sannin and the protégé of the God of Shinobi. He is about as likely to become a missing-nin as Kagome is to successfully perform an infiltration mission."

"Hey!"

"You are too honest to perform as a spy," Mori said.

Kagome mulled that over. "Okay. I guess that's true. Never was good at lying. Too complicated. So, yakuza banker, possible lead on the kid. Start at the beginning."

"In the interest of time, allow me to jump ahead," Mori said, her voice distant in exactly the same way Shika's used to be when he was thinking furiously.

No, not the same. Colder, harder. Shika had been distant but still human, and right now Mori was...not.

"Your contact at the brothel told you that there was a yakuza banker in town. Presumably a roving troubleshooter who goes around the Elemental Nations checking the books of local bosses to ensure they are sending the appropriate amount of their profits back to the higher-ups in the yakuza. He has been in town for a matter of weeks and he leaves shortly. You wish to send a flash-priority message to Jiraiya via pangolin in order to inform him of the situation. You believe that after making the report we should immediately scout the banker and, barring specific orders to the contrary, we should kidnap him off his ship once he is a few hours out to sea. We should then abandon the remainder of our mission and proceed to Leaf at maximum speed, using skywalkers the entire way."

Nikkō gaped at her. "How...?"

"You get used to it," Kurosawa said with a grin. "Brain the size of the world. Okay, here's my initial suggestion. Minami, this is only a suggestion—you're in charge, you countermand anything you don't agree with. First, like Keiko said, we send the messenger to Jiraiya and tell him we'll check back in an hour or two for further directions. Second—"

"No," Nikkō said. "I want to hear this. That was too specific, how did you know all that about him being a roving troubleshooter and whatever?" She turned slightly so that she had everyone within her peripheral vision. It was unlikely that they were in cahoots with a yakuza and more likely that Mori had managed one of those feats of deduction that Shika used to do. Still, best not to take chances. After all, they were the Cold Stone Killers.

Keiko's head turned slowly, precisely, as though something was puppeting her body from far away. Her eyes, dead and flat, locked onto Nikkō's.

"Noburi stated that there was a yakuza banker in town but leaving on the morning tide," she began, the flatness of her voice dredging up all those painful memories of Shika's exaggerated patience as he carefully explained things to the slow learner. "Incidentally, according to the almanacs I consulted in the Nara library while we were preparing for this trip, the tide in this area should be going out around nine in the morning, so we have time.

"A local banker for the yakuza has little reason to leave the city, so he's not from the city. Someone like that is not going to be sent to help the local branches, he's going to be sent to check up on them. The yakuza is a widespread organization that frequently hires mercenaries, smugglers, and other criminal elements and therefore possesses a widespread intelligence network. This banker is privy to secrets from a broad swath of yakuza operations, meaning he might have a lead on the people who kidnapped Uzumaki. The logical thing to do is capture and interrogate him, but our team lacks anyone with interrogation skills. The best option is to return him to Leaf where the T&I department and the Yamanaka can extract what he knows. Doing so means abandoning the mission and making best speed. We can travel faster using skywalkers than on the ground, since we don't need to worry about terrain or attack by chakra beasts—yes, Kagome, other than sky squids, chakra hawks, or the like. It makes more sense to capture him at sea during the day, when there are no reinforcements around, than in the harbor at night where an Ise patrol might encounter us and complicate the issue."

"I, uh, actually was thinking that the harbor would be better," Wakahisa said. "We could hit sooner and the city guard is pretty much just civilians. They won't matter in a fight."

"There's ninja in Ise," Nikkō objected. "Some of them definitely work with the guard. Also, the patrols are going to be heavier during the night, since that's when most smuggling would happen."

"And also when there's more risk of chakra beasts coming out of the water and not being immediately noticed," Mori added. "Some of those patrols will definitely have ninja in them for exactly that case."

"Oh." Wakahisa looked abashed.

"Hazō, I believe you mentioned a plan?"

"Right," Kurosawa said. "Okay, well, first things first. It's going to be dark in a few minutes and we can't afford to miss this checkin. We need to figure out what we put in this message. Most of it's obvious—the basic facts about the situation, a request that Minami's be cleared for this information so we can fully brief her, a request for orders, and a statement that we'll check back in an hour or two. What else?"

"The agent," Nikkō offered. "Tanaka Iwao. In payment for this information, he wants himself and his sister...daughter?...to be extracted back to Leaf. All he is asking for is escort to Leaf, a simple yet safe apartment, school for the girl, and a month's grace on rent and tuition. He said he would find a job and pay their bills from then on."

"It is a most youthful request," said Ishihara. "Modest and self-sufficient. I hope that it will be granted."

"The chance of it being granted goes up significantly if we are successful in bringing this banker—"

"Goda Haruto," Wakahisa offered.

"—bringing Goda in," Mori finished. "Does anyone have anything else to add?"

Looks were exchanged but no one spoke.

"Very well." The creature that was puppeting Mori nicked its thumb on a kunai and slammed it on the ground. "Pangolin Summoning Jutsu: Pandour!"

There was a blast of purple smoke and a larger version of Pandā was standing in front of them. It stretched and yawned, rubbing at its eyes. "Hello, Summoner. Message for me?"

Mori laid out the details of their report in a minimum of precise, neatly-organized, stamped-out words. When she finished, Pandour repeated it word-for-word, waited for Mori's confirmation, and then vanished back into the Summon Realm.

"Okay," Kurosawa said. "That's done, time to figure out the next step. Here's my suggestion; Minami, let me repeat that you're in charge. If you don't like it, we'll change it or scrap it.

"First, we scout. Minami, we'll want to use your prism to watch from long range and we'll work on a rotating basis so everyone can get some sleep. Then—"

o-o-o-o

"Greetings, Summoner."

Kei's other summons frequently tried to loom impressively. None of them, not even the immense Panjandrum, were nearly as intimidating looming and waving their claws around as Senior Combat Instructor Pankurashun was while just sitting in a chair in his office in front of a desk loaded with clay tablets.

"Greetings, Senior Combat Instructor!" she rapped out, standing rigidly erect with her fingers interlaced.

"At ease, Summoner. Sit."

She lowered herself into the chair with some care; pangolin chairs were not designed for the human body plan and the cut-out section for their tails always made her feel like she was going to fall through.

"I have received regular reports on your progress from Specialist Pandā," he said calmly. "I have been pleased at what I heard. You have fixed your issues with your squadmate, you aggressively pursue training, and you have been instrumental in your team's survival on several occasions. Both through your skill at arms and through a strategic sense that is surprising for one of your age."

"Thank you, Senior Combat Instructor!"

"Your morale issues remain a concern. A soldier must have accurate self-assessment, and from what I've been told your ability to do so does not meet the expectations of the Pangolin Clan military. We will work on that." The iron certainty behind the words sent a shiver down her spine.

"Now, there are two reasons you might be here today. It's possible that you want me to train one of your other squadmates. I find it more likely that you have an upcoming battle and you wish to ask my permission to summon me for it."

"Yes, Senior Combat Instructor!"

"Well? Which is it, Summoner? Clarity matters."

"I wish to ask your permission to summon you to a battle, Senior Combat Instructor!"

"Tell me about this battle. Who is it against? What is your plan?"

"Sir, we have only had a few hours to prepare, so we have limited data on our enemy! The battle will take place on shipboard and our best estimates of enemy force composition are—"

o-o-o-o

This was supposed to be easy, Hazō griped to himself. Their team leader had a bloodline that allowed her to see long distances—it was practically the first thing she had said to them! It sounded perfect—create the prism on the Sunset Racer and then walk along above the clouds, watching the enemy's every move through the magic bloodline jutsu.

Nope.

"Um...I can only create the prism where I am. I can see through it when I move away from it."

"Oh. Well, that's...good, I guess."

"Pfft. Useless."

"Kagome!"

"What? It is."

The rules of engagement weren't any better.

"Most of the people on that boat are innocent civilians," Hazō had said carefully. "I'd like to leave them unhurt if possible. If we throw a couple of misterators around, Noburi can drain them unconscious in seconds. They won't even have time to see our faces."

Minami had gaped at him. "Are you kidding? Sage's fury, no. We hit hard and fast, we kill everything that isn't Goda, and then we sink the ship. This is important—like Mori said, the future of Leaf hinges on it. We can't afford to take risks and we need to maintain OPSEC. No messing around, and that's an order."

"Yes! Finally, someone gets it! Woohoo! Boom, squish! Easy! None of this stupid 'nonlethal' stuff! Boom!"

Minami had looked disconcerted to realize that she was siding with Kagome. She looked outright disturbed to see him do his happy dance, complete with fistpumps and butt wiggles.

And so here Hazō stood, a thousand feet in the air, looking down at the tiny little white-tailed speck that was the Sunset Racer. The sleek craft skipped lightly through the water, a fresh breeze in her sails and not a care in the world. Did any of her crew realize that this was their last day alive? That these were the last sun-sparkling waves they would see, the last salt breeze that would kiss their faces? That they would never again see the sweethearts and wives and children that they were no doubt so eager to get home to, and that those sweethearts and wives and children would never even know what happened to their loved ones? That they were going to die, snuffed out like candles, simply because they had been hired by someone who might have information that would help the village of Leaf?

Hazō hoped not. Given his orders, the best he could do would be to make their deaths quick and painless. Even that probably wouldn't happen; there would undoubtedly be ninja on the boat and the team needed to focus on them first. The civilians would have plenty of time to be terrified.

Speaking of plenty of time, couldn't the damn boat go any faster? If he was going to have to slaughter a bunch of helpless sailors then he'd like to get it over with. The Racer was fast for a ship but it was almost painful for a ninja to travel slowly enough to keep pace.

"The vessel will be at the optimal ambush site in thirty minutes," Keiko said, her voice slow and cold, frozen into the Mori Ice. "They will be as far from land as they will be at any point during this journey. In the extremely unlikely event that we miss someone and they survive the sinking of the ship, it will be very unlikely they can swim to shore before drowning or being eaten by a chakra beast. Similarly, there is no shoreline close enough to observe us, so we can murder our helpless civilian enemies in peace."

Minami shot her a suspicious look; it rolled effortlessly off of the ice that froze Keiko's face. "Okay," Minami said, clearly choosing not to pursue the issue. "Off you go. Be careful."

"Hey, me and Keiko are always careful," Noburi said with a smile that Hazō was happy to see looked a bit forced. "It's Kurosawa 'Caution to the Winds' Hazō over there that you need to worry about."

Hazō glared at him, not in the mood for jokes. Noburi tipped him a jaunty wink, then turned and raced off with Keiko beside him.

Minami watched them go, then looked down at the Racer and sighed. "Can't that stupid ship go any faster?" she mumbled.

o-o-o-o

Now that they could finally move at a proper ninja speed, it took hardly any time at all to race ahead of their target and get into position for the ambush. Three miles east in nine minutes, drop half a mile down to sea level as quickly as possible, spend three minutes erecting a skytower a foot above the wavetops.

Kei knelt on the platform, gathering her nerve and forcing herself to breathe as she slowly extricated herself from the ice. It was tempting to stay in the calming embrace of the Mori Voice; when she wrapped the ice around herself she was not bothered by the fact that she was about to kill a human being for the first time. A lot of human beings, actually.

Comforting, but stupid. Someday perhaps she could fight while inside the ice, but today was not that day. If her hands trembled at the thought of the upcoming combat against merely human foes then she was definitely too weak, too fragile, to combat the Mori Voice itself.

"Ready when you are," Noburi said, two bottles full of chakra-imbued water dangling from their straps over his left arm. He held a third bottle in his right hand, the cap already unfastened.

She pushed away the final slivers of the ice and focused on her breathing, forcing the knot in her stomach to untie itself. A wave, taller than its brethren, rose up over the edge of the platform and slapped into her. She barely noticed, automatically pushing chakra out to keep herself fixed to the platform. I am Mori, and I am in control, she sang to herself. She kept the song going, letting it sync to the too-fast rhythm of her heart and the fizzing buzz of chakra overcharge from the water Noburi had given her before they set off in the morning. Most of it had dispersed by now but some still remained, a wild and frenetic energy barely leashed by years of training.

"Is there anything nearby?" she asked quietly.

Noburi put the open bottle into his left hand so he could dip his right under the surface. He paused for a moment, mentally categorizing the tiny threads of chakra that trickled into his submerged fingers.

Is there anything nearby? 1d100: 4
How much? 1d100: 11

"Not much," he said. "A background hum that's probably plankton and some shrimp, then some small fish off to the right. Nothing I'm going to get much charge from, but also nothing that seems dangerous. Doesn't mean something else won't come along, though."

Kei blushed at the politely-worded rebuke. Indeed, she was wasting time. Having to face her own cowardice was bad enough, but holding up the mission was inexcusable. She grabbed a kunai from her thigh holster and dragged it across the edge of her hand.

"Pangolin Summoning Technique: Pankurashun!"

The familiar blast of purple smoke had barely dispersed before the massive pangolin was over the side of the platform and into the water with hardly a splash.

"Sitrep, Summoner," he demanded, his bass voice calm and unbothered by the fact that he was treading water dozens of miles from land in the middle of an ocean full of predators.

"The Sunset Racer is coming to us from that direction and should arrive within fifteen to twenty minutes, Senior Combat Instruct—"

When drill instructors laugh it's usually a bad sign for anyone nearby. When drill instructors chuckle, it's simply terrifying. It's like the entire world has turned sideways.

"Relax, Summoner," Pankurashun said with a tone that sounded disturbingly close to warmth. "Remember, you are not in my office or on my drill field. You are in command here. Address me and the others by name and accept no disrespect. You can do this. Your squadmate gave you the bones of a good plan and you refined it into something better. Your clawmate is beside you, the might of the Pangolin Army swims before you, and the hand of the Pantokrator is held over you."

Kei swallowed nervously. "Yes, Pankurashun."

Pangolins don't exactly harumph, but the noise Pankurashun made was similar. "Keiko. Look at me."

Her neck didn't want to move, but she wrapped her will around it and forced the muscles to bend such that she was face-to-face with the old pangolin warrior.

"You are the endpoint of history," he said calmly. "Thousands of matings in an unbroken chain that leads to you. Generations of warriors honing the arts of war, passing them down from teacher to student so that those arts would be ready to your hand when you needed them. The Pantokrator's plan surrounds us—so many worlds he could have created, and he chose the only one that would lead you here, to this moment, where you and I will fight as clawmates. Breathe in the soul of the Pangolin Clan, Summoner. Listen with our ears as the universe sings to you of your place at its center. Listen closely, and then go forth in violence to bring destruction upon your foes!"

A shiver danced across Kei's skin and she felt her lips peeling back from her teeth in a smile so fierce it was nearly a snarl. "Yes, Pankurashun!"

"Hah! Better!" The pangolin slapped the water with his tail, splashing all three of them. "Now, summon the slacker and the delinquent. The trail yearns for our claws!"

Kei held out her hand without looking and was unsurprised when a bottle slapped into her palm. She slammed the contents back, feeling the surge of chakra flooding into coils that had been mostly emptied by Pankurashun's summoning. Suddenly she was once again overcharged, her blood fizzing behind her eyes, her skin too tight, her brain jittery and hot. She dropped the now-empty bottle and slashed her kunai across the edge of her hand to reopen the wound. She slapped her palm down hard, the handseals blending smoothly into a single action.

"Summoning Technique: Panjandrum!"

Skytowers are, so far as anyone had ever been able to tell, absolutely immobile. Which was good, because the weight of a pangolin as enormous as Panjandrum would have instantly capsized any raft ever built. What skytowers weren't, however, was large.

The pangolin cook appeared at the edge of the platform and promptly tumbled backwards in a graceless crash that geysered water everywhere. He came to the surface coughing and spitting.

"Who pushed me?!" the massive creature demanded, hooking his enormous claws over the edge of the skytower and lifting himself up to look around. "Who dares challenge the honor of the mighty Panjandrum, greatest of the—"

"Sustainer Panjandrum, shut your mouth and get low!"

Panjandrum's body clearly reacted before his brain caught up; his claws sprang free of the skytower and he slipped down into the water until just his enormous head was sticking out. "Yes, Senior Combat Instructor!"

Kei was absolutely certain that Pankurashun did not smile. Well, almost certain. Maybe seventy percent. Seventy-ish.

"I remember you very clearly, Sustainer," Pankurashun said, his voice silk over sharpened steel. "It seems you still remember me as well."

Kei wouldn't have believed it possible, but somehow Panjandrum was managing to tread water at attention.

"Yes, Senior Combat Instructor! I remember you, Senior Combat Instructor!"

"Shh! Keep your voice down! Sound travels over water," Kei said. She leaned forward on her hands to steady herself. Even as heavily overcharged as she had been, summoning Panjandrum was still a massive effort and it had left her momentarily light-headed and snowy-visioned.

"Apologies, Summoner," Pankurashun said. "My squadmate shames me with his behavior."

"It's fine, Pankurashun," she said, waving a hand dismissively as the sparkles cleared from in front of her eyes. "Anyone can be startled when suddenly finding themselves in a new environment. Panjandrum, the enemy will be here shortly. Please put this on your head as camoflage."

Beside her, Noburi had just unsealed a bag stuffed with seaweed and held it out to the pangolin chef. Held it out very carefully, since each of Pandjandrum's claws was as long as Noburi's arm.

The pangolin chef drew himself up, clearly about to protest...and then he noticed Pankurashun staring at him. He meekly took the bag from Noburi, opened the mouth with surprisingly delicate twitches of those massive claws, and dumped the contents over his head. He allowed himself to sink as low in the water as he could in order to look like nothing more signficant than one mid-ocean patch of weeds among many.

It's been a while. Anything new in the water?:
1d100: 80
Nope. Not yet.

Keiko took the next bottle from Noburi and gulped it down. She was starting to feel bloated, but there was nothing for it; she needed the chakra. Her coils were stretched and itchy, but she ignored it and shaped the energy for a third time.

"Summoning Technique, Panchipāma!"

A puff of purple smoke, torn away by the sea breeze, and the leader of the Naraka Rollers was slipping into the water opposite Pankurashun.

"Saaahhh," she hissed, her nose twitching towards the soldier. "The Panchipāma wasn't sure you'd really be here, stickass."

"I'm no more thrilled to be working with a slacker and a delinquent than you are to be working with me," Pankurashun growled. "Suck it up. We're here to do a job."

"I am not a delinquent!" Panjandrum protested from under his concealing mat of seaweed.

Kei facepalmed and reached for the final bottle of Noburi's chakra water even as she slid off the platform and into the water. Pantokrator knew that her poor stomach didn't want anything more to drink, but it wouldn't do to arrive for the battle with her reserves nigh-empty. So whispered the generations of warriors who stood at her shoulder.

o-o-o-o

Moseying along above the Sunset Racer had been bad enough before the others went off to set the ambush. Now it was just torture, because the ambush could happen at any second and it kept not happening.

If only there had been some way to stay in touch so they knew exactly where the rest of the team was and could judge the timing. He could see the toylike Sunset Racer below them, but Keiko and the others were invisible among the waves. Which was good, since it meant that they probably couldn't be spotted from the ship, making it easier to ambush and murder all the terrified civilian sailors whose only crime was...nothing. No crimes. Just decent people trying to make a living, being murdered by ninja because it was more convenient and helped with OPSEC in this so-important situation.

What would happen if they didn't kill the civilians? Probably nothing. Keiko would throw a misterator, Noburi would drain the civilians unconscious literally before they knew what was happening. They would wake up on a ship empty of yakuza and proceed about their business. Worst they could do was say 'there was a mist and then we all dropped and we lost this yakuza banker guy.' What harm would that do? Maybe some Wakahisa elder heard about it and figured out that it was their legendary technique being used by a missing-nin, in which case maybe they would choose to report it, thereby revealing their bloodline secret. And if they reported it then maybe someone put together that the missing-nin in question had been working for Leaf in an operation hundreds of miles from home. And maybe whoever heard about it would realize that Goda might have some probably-outdated information about Akatsuki and maybe Akatsuki would hear about it, in which case maybe they would deem it important enough to change their locations or plans so that the information wasn't useful anymore.

That was a lot of maybes.

But, oh no. Couldn't afford to take even the slightest risk of some small amount of inconvenience maybe potentially coming to Leaf at some point in a possible future that almost certainly wouldn't happen. That would be crazy.

Fucking ninja. The world would be better off without them. And why in every demon-buggering beast pit could this ambush not get around to happ—

A thousand feet below, the water around the Sunset Racer suddenly erupted, the ship slewing sideways and coming to a halt as though it had hit a reef. For a moment, Hazō could almost hear the terrified screams as a pair of massive murderballs came over the gunwale accompanied by the goddess of war and her brother, master of storms.

"Time to go," Minami said. Her voice dropped to a mumble so soft that the breeze almost kept it from Hazō's ears. "This part is going to suck."

"Don't be scared, Minami," he said with a nasty smile. "It'll be fun."

He turned off his skywalkers and plummeted.

Author's Note: I'll try to get the rest of the chapter out late tonight. XP will be awarded then. If it ends up taking too long to finish after work then I'll let you know.

eaglejarl · Jul 3, 2017

Chapter 139.1: Murder, Complete

Does the Sunset Racer's lookout spot Keiko et al in the water before they manage to reach the hull? The team gets a ?d100 circumstance bonus for being in the water, spread out, and each wearing an ersatz ghillie suit of seaweed.

Lookout Awareness vs (lowest Stealth of ambush party + circumstance bonus): Fail!

Okay, the team wasn't seen before gathering at the bow. Is Goda on deck or belowdecks? 0-40 = on deck, 41-100 = below
1d100: 30
Upstairs, huh? Presumably he's got his girls with him because, duh, they're hot and even more duh, they're his ninja bodyguards. Just for local color he's got some of his goons with him too. How many? (Up to 15):
1d15: 11

Okay that means Pankurashun isn't going to find Goda or more than 4 yakuza goons, since Pankurashun is rockin' it belowdecks. Belowdecks on a ship is cramped and dark except for inside the cabins with portholes. Pankurashun is a pangolin, a heavily armed and armored species with weak eyes that are more than made up for by their other senses. The actual ninja are up on deck and the remaining yakuza aren't a challenge, but let's pretend to roll anyway:
Pankurashun, centuries-old soldier and senior combat instructor from a military culture, ?d100 Pangolin-Style Taijutsu: a very big number
Yakuza Mook #1, Taijutsu, 8d100: not such a big number
Yakuza Mook #2, Taijutsu, 8d100: not such a big number
Yakuza Mook #3, Taijutsu, 10d100 (sensei's pet!): a slightly less not big but still not very big number
Yakuza Mook #4, Taijutsu, 6d100 (lazy; never trains): a really puny number
A bunch o' sailors, Brawling, 4d100: pfah, what does it matter

Yeah, those guys are dead. Moving on. What's going on above decks? What are Team Uplift up to?
Keiko: activate misterator on Panjadrum as he goes over the side
Keiko: activate misterator on Panjadrum as he goes over the side
Noburi: activate misterator on Panchipāma as she goes over the side
Noburi: activate misterator on Panchipāma as she goes over the side

Well, that was...thrilling.

Let's go back to Goda and his 11 flunkies. They are all about to have a very bad day. How do the flunkies respond when two massive murderballs come ninja-leaping over the gunwales just as massive clouds of fog spray everywhere? 1-60: freeze, 61-75: run, 76-100: fight! [Entries rearranged after rolling for easy reference.]
Freezers:
Yakuza Guard #1: 41
Yakuza Guard #2: 16
Yakuza Guard #3: 46
Yakuza Guard #4: 22
Yakuza Guard #5: 11
Yakuza Guard #6: 43
Yakuza Guard #7: 50
Yakuza Guard #8: 2

Runners:
Yakuza Guard #9: 66
Yakuza Guard #10: 71

Fighters (well, fighter):
Yakuza Guard #11: 96

Ooh, one guy decided to fight! Let's see how he does.
Yakuza Guard #11 (Let's call him Bruce. A gentle soul, Bruce is a loving husband to his wife Eva and a wonderful father to his two children, Maggie and Brandon. He likes carpentry, horseback riding, and going to the beach. He secretly dreams of leaving the yakuza life and becoming a painter.) ?d100 Kenjutsu: ?
The Panchipāma, Rolling Murderball of Death, ?d100 Taijutsu: ?
Class C victory for The Panchipāma! Bruce looks pretty much like what comes out of your blender when you forget to put the top on while making a raspberry slushie. (Maggie and Brandon will cry for weeks when their poppa doesn't come home.)

Didn't do too good, apparently. So, about those two ninja. They may or may not hear Keiko and Noburi, but they're definitely going to deal with Panchipāma and Panjandrum first.
Maho, a kunoichi who, until about fifteen seconds ago, thought that bodyguarding Goda was a pretty good gig since it was low-risk, high-pay, and he was smart enough to realize that she might be playacting as a flash girl but if he ever tried to get handsy she'd reach down his nose and rip his gonads off from the inside. Not that he would, since he's actually a pretty decent fellow, albeit a bit of a cold fish.
Melee Weapons + boost from Arsenal of the Storm Gods + ?d100 chakra boost + ?d100 multicombatant (MC) bonus: ?

Pandjandrum, ?d100 Pangolin-Style Taijutsu + ?d100 MC bonus: ?
C-class victory for Maho! She carves the Sustainer like a roast!

Fuyumi, Maho's younger sister who hates being called 'little sis' and secretly loves stories about unicorns.
?d100 Water Spike jutsu, plus ?d100 chakra boost, plus ?d100 MC bonus: ?

Panchipāma, ?d100 Pangolin-Style Taijutsu + MC bonus + ???: ?
A-class victory for Fuyumi!

Noburi, Level 24 Vampiric Dew, Legendary Wakahisa Secret Technique: Mist Drain!
We have no rules for this, so I'm arbitrarily saying that Noburi gets 5 seconds of draining done against both sisters and a couple of the yakuza mooks who froze. The mooks go down instantly, the sisters each lose (24 * 5 =) 120 CP over the course of the five seconds. At which point they drop like a hat. I'm not bothering with any of the rest of this; you win, problem solved. This was supposed to be exciting, damnit.

Kei had no idea how two ninja and three pangolin warriors, one of them the size of a small house, could manage to get close enough to a ship to touch it without being spotted. It didn't say much for the lookout, but it certainly made life easier for her so she wasn't going to complain.

They stayed close, letting the ship dance joyously past them, the water lifted smoothly aside from her hull. Kei checked in with her squadmates by eye; each nodded back. They were ready.

The stern of the ship arrived, a cone of white sea foam spreading behind it. Panjadrum knew his job and needed no orders; he reached out and slammed his claws into the massive rudder, wrenching it to the side with all the power of his enormous frame.

The Racer flipped sideways, showing the top of her keel like a street harlot flashing her panties. The strike team was in motion even before she began to tip; Pankurashun casually tore a hole in the thick planking of the hull and flickered inside to rampage belowdecks.

"Go go go!" Kei shouted as she and Noburi triggered the seals they had carefully attached to the pangolins' heads while waiting for the ship. Fog blasted out, spraying everywhere as the pangolins stormed up and over the ship's railing like twin thunderbolts of destruction.

"There," Noburi whispered, pointing through the opalescent murk. "Big group, standing by the railing. Checking...yes, two of them have ninja reserves."

The world was split by a thundercrack and the momentary smell of ozone almost knocked both genin off their feet as Panjadrum's cry of surprise was cut off mid-note.

Noburi's eyes went wide. "Crap, they just one-shotted the big guy."

Kei resisted the urge to waste time looking up; she could barely see her hand at arm's length, much less the rest of the team on their skywalkers up in the sky. "The others will be here momentarily," she noted with a calm that she was very far from feeling. "We need to contain this situation before then or they will die."

"I'm working on it! Give me a second!"

o-o-o-o

The wind tore at Hazō's hair as he fell feet-first towards the tiny ship a thousand feet below. He flicked the skywalkers on and off, on and off, absorbing each impact with his knees and slowing his fall just enough that he wouldn't be killed when he finally landed. Akane plunged beside him, whooping joyously as she fell. Kagome kept pace just above them, his blast rings already extended and a fierce expression on his face. Behind all of them, Minami shrieked a most un-chūnin-like "aaaaaaiiiieeeeeee!" Hazō put her out of his thoughts; let her deal with her own fear of heights. She had made this bed but he and the team were the ones who had to lie in it. If she had to endure some pants-wetting terror, good.

He was only about a hundred feet up now and, as expected, the ship had vanished into a temporary cloud. Keiko and the rest of the assault team had triggered half a dozen misterators, covering the entire area in a fog thick enough to chew. That left the question: try to land on the ship and risk breaking a leg by hitting earlier than he expected, or land on the water outside the cloud and spend precious seconds getting to the ship?

An ear-shattering blast of thunder splitting the air, a massive flash of lightning momentarily turning the ship-sized cloud into a spill of diamonds, and Panjandrum's basso profundo scream cutting off in the middle decided him. He aimed for the center of the cloud and pulsed his skywalkers more rapidly, running down the air like a set of stairs.

As expected, the ship came up faster than expected. First there was nothing but damp whiteness and then suddenly there was rough-grained wooden decking. He turned his run into a tumble, rolling across the deck to absorb the impact. The tumble became a sprawl when he slammed into a cluster of unconscious sailors. He scrambled to push himself back to his feet, stumbling and staggering awkwardly across the carpet of bodies until he could catch his balance.

"Hey, everybody! Team Uplift and Pangolins rule, yakuza drool! Stand down!" Noburi shouted. "Everyone's down. Pankurashun is at the front of the ship coming this way, everyone else aboard is unconscious or dead. Just hold on, the mist should clear off soon."

Hazō crouched down, looking around carefully. The rule/drool codephrase was juvenile but it was the expected authentication, so that probably wasn't an impostor. Still, it was always possible that Noburi could be wrong about what was out there. There could be something dangerous in the fog that he couldn't sense, or that he misinterpreted. Best to be careful.

Slowly, the sea breeze carried off the fog, revealing the wreckage of their battle. The deck of the Sunset Racer was demolished, planks and deck-level rigging torn up or smoldering. Unmoving bodies were littered around, as well as wide-sprayed red slush that had probably been a few more bodies at some point in the past.

Minami, Akane, and Kagome were a few yards away, clearly having landed more gracefully than he had. Panjadrum was gone and Pankurashun was apparently still belowdecks. Panchipāma stood near the largest pile of bodies, glaring down at the unmoving forms of what were undoubtedly Goda's flash girls. The pangolin brawler was covered in blood and gore, her chest heaving and claws reflexively clicking open and shut as she surveyed her downed opponents. Hazō watched as she deliberately pulled her foot back and booted one of the unconscious flash girls in the ribs, then turned away with a grunt of discontent.

A foot deliberately scuffing on decking pulled Hazō's gaze over to where Noburi and Keiko were clambering over the ship's railing. Noburi flourished an overdone bow towards Minami and gestured broadly.

"My dear Captain Minami," he said gradiosely, "I give you the more-or-less intact Sunset Racer, as well as her mostly-still-living crew and passengers. None of whom had the time to see our faces, or anything more than a pair of giant chakra monsters wrapped in fog. I'm pretty sure that's Goda there."

Minami was distracted, looking around at the carpet of slow-breathing bodies. "This went way smoother than I expected," she said.

Noburi shrugged. "We aim to please. So, Keiko and I can pick up Goda if you want to start killing everyone. Are you going to stab them each in the face, drown them, or what?"

Minami's eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"

Hazō hurried to interject. "I think what Noburi meant was that the battle is over and he's confirmed that there's no conscious people aboard except for us. What are your orders?"

"Indeed," Pankurashun said calmly, climbing up through a deck hatch and walking slowly towards them while stepping delicately around the fallen humans. "It is said among the pangolin that the true measure of a commander is not what happens during the battle, but what happens afterwards. I will be interested to hear how a human leader deals with captives after a politically-significant battle such as this."

Minami looked around at her theoretical subordinates. The Cold Stone Killers, now augmented by lethal killing machines from another universe, waited with expressions of calm politeness to see if she would order a massacre. She had no idea what they would do if she did, and even less idea what they would do if she didn't.

XP AWARD: 10

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Velorien · Jul 6, 2017

Chapter 140: Responsibility

They were watching her like very polite predators watching prey. Waiting for her to make her decision, a reaction ready for every possibility. If she made the wrong one, was this the point where they finally mutinied and murdered her?

No, that wasn't fair. They weren't all like that psycho Kagome, and even he was now loyally following her around like a particularly disturbing pet dog. These were people she'd chosen to trust, and Nikkō did not want to be the kind of person who withdrew her trust at the first sign of uncertainty. (Though she couldn't forget that the last time she'd made a conscious decision to trust them, it had very nearly got her killed.)

Anyway, she shouldn't be making this decision based on their feelings. Every child at the Academy knew about Hatake Sakumo and how many people died when he put his team ahead of the mission. Nor could she show weakness as a leader in front of the Cold Stone Killers just because she'd decided to trust them with her life.

She couldn't put off thinking about the ship any longer. There was a technique taught to Nara children which Shika had passed on to her, something used in playground games where the guard captain had to pick the killer out of a line-up while the killer had to feign perfect innocence by anticipating the guard captain's questions.

Nikkō was about to find out which of the two she was.

-o-

Nikkō staggered to her feet as a yakuza on the deck of the Sunset Racer. Where was the VIP? No sign of him, not even a body. His two ninja bodyguards were missing as well. One of Nikkō's friends was dead, but the rest of them didn't have a scratch on them.

What did she remember? A sudden, unnatural fog. Great shapes looming out of it, hunched over with huge claws and scales so hard the ninja's weapons bounced off them. So terrifying she couldn't move, only stand there and stare at them. One shape vanishing in a puff of smoke as a ninja finally killed it. Then herself, the client and the other yakuza falling down for no reason, one by one, like the drops of a water clock.

-o-

Nikkō was a yakuza boss who'd just received a terrible report. Her ten underlings described an encounter in which mysterious monsters had attacked the ship, then disappeared with her banker while ignoring nearly everyone else. Any powerful and wealthy individual would make sure to have a ninja on retainer to consult about ninja matters, and any consultant worth their salt would recognise the description of pangolin summons. From there, it would not be difficult to learn that they belonged to Leaf's Pangolin Summoner.

How did a yakuza boss react to the kidnapping of one of her most valued henchmen?

First off, she'd have to figure out how Leaf, a foreign power, had known about Goda, and how they learned which ship he was on, when it was departing and what course it would take. If there was a mole within her organisation, or a spy watching it from the outside, that was a top priority matter. Whatever intelligence resources she had, she'd apply them. She might even hire ninja to track down the spy and make a very public example of them.

More importantly, the yakuza were obsessed with not showing weakness. If someone dealt such a powerful blow to her organisation and she let it go unanswered, her own rivals would devour her within the week. And that meant she had to declare war on Leaf—not openly, because yakuza bosses didn't get that way by being suicidal, but she had to get revenge by whatever means she could in order to restore her group's honour in the eyes of the underworld (as well as her own).

(Nikkō had to admit she had no idea what a yakuza group could actually do to harm Leaf, but she was confident she didn't want them to do it.)

-o-

Nikkō was a spymaster for a faction hostile to Leaf and she'd just been sold some interesting information by a yakuza boss with a grudge.

How much use could she squeeze out of it?

She now knew that Leaf's Pangolin Summoner was someone they could and did deploy on stealth missions, on a team with some mysterious new shinobi who used mist to knock out enemies en masse from range. Gas users were very rare and dangerous, and Leaf had none listed in the Bingo Book, so that was valuable information in and of itself. As was the fact that this particular gas user preferred to spare civilians—that was the kind of identifying mark you used to track a particular ninja's handiwork.

But the gas user's actions didn't quite make sense. What kind of idiot rained sleeping gas down on allies engaged in melee, instead of opening with it and then stepping in to mop up the survivors? Perhaps it wasn't sleeping gas after all, but something more targetable? That would make sense of the reports (for the yakuza had made sure to sell her every last scrap) that there was no sense of inhaling gas, no gradual clouding of consciousness, only fully awake people instantly collapsing one after another. Nikkō would make a note, and watch out for reports of Leaf ninja knocking out groups of people in the future.

Now, how far could she make this information go? There was nothing there with which to strike at Leaf directly, but certainly there would be plenty of people—such as other spymasters—prepared to trade for it. Other enemies of Leaf especially. Perhaps Mist? After all, it was a given that they had agents in the region.

-o-

Nikkō was a Leaf team leader whose reasoning had left her with only one conclusion. Setting Goda and the ninja aside, everyone on the deck of the ship had to die.

Still, the sailors below didn't see what happened. Maybe they could still pass it off as a chakra monster attack?

-o-

Nikkō was a sailor, one of many stirring to consciousness all at once. A faint mist had seeped down from the main deck, and then suddenly they'd all started dropping like flies.

Naturally, she ran on deck to see what was going on. But there was no one there. The client and his bodyguards were all gone as if they had never been. That certainly sounded like a chakra monster's work—use strange powers to put everyone to sleep, then eat whoever was in sight and swim off satisfied. Nikkō could only thank her lucky stars that it hadn't felt like dessert.

Except if it was a monster that preyed on everyone on deck, why was there a big hole in the ship? And why was it above the waterline, instead of below, where you'd expect a sea monster to come from if it wanted to get into the ship?

And what had happened to those four yakuza guys, and a bunch of the other sailors? Did a second monster really break into the ship, kill a few people, and then disappear while leaving the rest unharmed?

Something just didn't add up.

They'd hurry back to Ise as fast as they could. They'd probably get a visit from the yakuza, and have to explain what happened, and pray that they were believed. And they'd certainly tell the story in Ise's many bars for a free drink—who wouldn't want to hear how fifty sailors were spared by not one but two chakra monsters?

And then they'd get visits from local ninja, who doubtless get hired to escort ships, and would be very interested in hearing about a sea monster capable of taking out two chūnin and attacking ships on a major route. (To say nothing of any other ninja interested in Goda's fate.)

Nikkō turned the scenarios round and round in her head, but the final logic was inexorable.

-o-

She was aware that she'd been standing there, thinking, for too long. The others were still watching, waiting for her to dig her own grave. But she wasn't ready to do it just yet.

"Kurosawa, Mori, go find Goda's cabin. As the Hokage said, you're looking for documents, valuables, and any personal effects that might be useful in the interrogation.

"Wakahisa, Ishihara, search below decks for anything suspicious. If any of the crew turn out to have chakra reserves so they're still conscious, take care of it.

"I'll stay here and prepare the prisoners for transport."

Ishihara looked at the three bodies with rapid understanding. "Are you sure you don't want me to—"

"Go," Nikkō said firmly and with as little emotion as possible.

Once the others had left, she looked at Kagome, who, of course, knew.

"Kagome, make preparations to scuttle the ship."

There was one person on the team, at least, who wouldn't judge her for doing what needed to be done. If anything, she expected him to start capering like the madman he was at the idea of blowing up potential threats to his team.

She felt even worse when instead, he cast a thoughtful look in the direction Kurosawa had gone, then gave her a serious nod before heading down the stairs.

Then she was alone.

Mori had estimated at least fifty people on a ship this size, minus however many Pankurashun had killed (Nikkō had chosen not to ask). Even if they were only civilians, when Nikkō visualised fifty people all together in one place…

Mercifully, her training took over and she remembered.

Leaf was a unique village where the ninja functioned as the guardians and shepherds of the common people, keeping them safe from predators both monstrous and human, and guiding them to use their labour and skills to the benefit of all. Leaf ninja died every day to protect that village and the ideals it stood for, and if sometimes common people had to die to protect them in turn, then that was regrettable but not unjust.

You couldn't start doubting a fundamental truth like that. You couldn't start thinking that civilian lives were too valuable to sacrifice. Civilians were everywhere in their uncountable thousands, but every time one of the handful of Leaf ninja died, it was like a star going out in the sky. Every death a step towards eternal darkness.

And if the village died, then humanity ended, as simple as that. The next time war consumed the continent, Leaf wouldn't be there to bring peace. The other villages would tear each other apart in their greed and their hatred, and the chakra monsters would have whatever was left in the end.

Only fifty lives, Nikkō said to herself again. A drop in the ocean. Nothing when it came to protecting the world. So why…?

She looked down at the bodies she was mechanically stripping of their equipment, but they held no answers for her.

-o-

"Minami? Minami?" Hazō had to raise his voice to get her attention, so engrossed was she in tying up the… prisoners? Come to think of it, she'd used the plural before too.

That was a good sign. If she wanted them kept alive, then she might be more open to the idea of sparing everyone else as well. He'd had time to think while he and Keiko had searched the cabin, and come up with a plan of attack if she wasn't.

"Kurosawa," Minami said flatly. "And I see the rest of you are here as well. Report."

Keiko offered her a thick ledger. "We found this among Goda's belongings. The contents are in code, but given his role among the yakuza, I believe its role is obvious. This will be a very valuable tool should Leaf require leverage over Goda's group."

"There's also this," Hazō said, holding up the sketch. "It was hidden under his stack of spare clothes."

The piece of paper depicted a teenage girl, with long braided hair and a shy smile. Hazō couldn't stop himself from wondering whether she was Goda's daughter (which made him feel sad) or his lover (which made him feel creeped out, but still sad), or just someone important to the man they were about to kidnap and send to his death. Hazō didn't want to think about what the yakuza went home to after a day of murdering and racketeering and throwing wild parties. Had that client from way back in Iron had a family?

He couldn't let himself think like this. The yakuza were enemies. They were all terrible, terrible people who dedicated their lives to profiting from other people's suffering. Every time one died, the world became a slightly better place. If he couldn't even kill his emotions enough to deal with them, how was he supposed to be enough of a ninja to accomplish his own goals?

And how many deaths had he and his team already caused, directly and indirectly? How much pain? Had he ever tried to keep count, his inner voice asked, or did none of that matter anymore now that he'd decided he was a good person? Did he have the right to condemn the yakuza while knowing that, for as long as he was a ninja, his death toll would just keep rising? Did he have the right to mourn his victims even as he followed a path which would only make more?

"Anything else?" asked Minami, the experienced chūnin who'd probably long since made her peace with the moral problems of shinobi life, not that he was at all jealous.

"Not that we were able to find," Keiko said. "I would surmise that any other valuables, such as money, would be kept on Goda's person. Since you have already bound him… very professionally, it may be best to leave a full body search until he reaches Leaf."

Hazō stared at the near-cocoon that was just about recognisable as their target. Either Minami had discovered in their absence that Goda was secretly an escapology-specialist jōnin, or she'd started tying him up and somehow forgotten to stop.

Minami glanced down at Goda and blinked.

"Uh… Wakahisa. Report."

"All clear," Noburi said neutrally. "Nothing suspicious apart from some corpses and a honking great hole in the side of the ship. Everyone else is down. Minami… are we going to—"

"Kagome. Report."

Kagome-sensei looked between the members of Team Uplift, then back at Minami.

"Set the charges. Made sure there won't be any smoke going up in case some stinker is watching from the coast. Ready to start the fuse whenever."

Set the charges?

"Minami," Hazō said quickly, "are you planning to kill the civilians? Because I actually have some suggestions about dealing with them. Would you mind hearing me out?"

Minami gave him a weary look, as if she knew what was coming and wasn't happy about it.

"Go ahead, Kurosawa."

"I think we should spare them. Nobody saw our faces, or the rest of us for that matter. There's no evidence of our involvement. And besides, given how far we are from Ise, it'll take a long time for them to sail back there, and even longer for word to get out. We're in no real danger."

Minami gave him a funny look. "Kurosawa, they're six hours' sailing away from Ise because that's how long it's been since they set sail. That means it'll take them six hours to get back if the weather's on their side. Maybe more, maybe less. And I guess they'll have to repair the rudder first, but none of us know how long that'll take.

"As for chakra monster attacks, are you willing to bet that word takes time to get out when there are sixty people talking about it, and ten of those are going to run to report to their yakuza boss?

"But not the point. Nobody is going to believe it's a chakra monster attack. Pankurashun climbing in from above the waterline and then killing a few people before making a polite exit makes sure of that. Chakra monsters don't stop killing just because their victims fall asleep – in fact, if you assume that Pankurashun was the one who made them fall asleep, it's even weirder how he left all the sleepers alone.

"Also, don't forget that other people aren't stupid. If an attack makes a VIP and his bodyguards disappear but the civilians are left untouched, it doesn't matter what the cover story is. People will draw conclusions."

Damn. Damn damn damn. Hazō still thought there was a possibility people would think it was a chakra monster attack—the pangolins looked like chakra monsters, they did chakra monster-like damage and they'd left corpses that looked like they'd been slaughtered by a chakra monster—but suddenly the odds didn't sound so high that he was prepared to argue for them.

"All right," he shifted ground, "if we can't trick people into thinking it's a chakra monster attack, we can still use disinformation to get what we want. We'll have to kill the yakuza after all, but…" he hesitated, "I guess that isn't really a great loss."

"So what's your plan?" Minami asked sceptically, but also with what Hazō wanted to believe was a hint of hope. Or was that just wishful thinking?

"We disguise one of the yakuza as Goda, with a hood over his face, and make a show of killing him in front of the sailors, and dump the lot overboard. We talk about how we were hired to kill him because he messed up, and that we've burned his documents—the ones we're actually taking. Then we tell them that if anyone asks, they should say it was just a chakra monster attack. They'll do it, because we'll be terrifying ninja who've just killed people in front of them.

"They won't connect us to Leaf, everyone will think Goda's dead, and everyone outside the ship will think it really was a chakra monster."

To Minami's credit, she took a few seconds to think about it.

"It's clever. But it's still too risky. You're counting on fifty people—"

"Sixty people," Noburi muttered.

"Sixty people all keeping their mouths shut in the face of investigation. And there will be an investigation because even if the yakuza buy the chakra monster story without question, which they might not, they'll still want Goda's ledger. You think the sailors' story is going to hold up when they have to explain how this chakra monster went for Goda's group while sparing the sailors and happened to eat Goda's ledger?

"Once the yakuza start applying the pressure, at least some of those sixty are going to talk."

"But hang on," Noburi interjected, "so the chakra monster part is a bust. We've still made them think that some random ninja turned up out of nowhere and killed Goda. Why does it matter what happened if Goda's dead and nothing's tying it to Leaf?"

"Pangolins," Minami said curtly.

Keiko nodded. "I see. Yes. We know that a number of sailors encountered and fought Pankurashun. We do not know how many other sailors saw him but did not engage, or were chakra-drained before they could engage. Certainly, when some unknown threat damages the ship and proceeds to attack the crew, I imagine there is no choice but for everyone to rally against it. There is nowhere to run in the middle of the sea.

"And of course, every sailor will pretend to us that they saw nothing because witnesses of ninja activities are known to have very short lifespans."

"We could interrogate them," Hazō said, but without much optimism.

"Do you trust our collective ability to get the truth out of every one of sixty sailors enough to risk a major OPSEC breach?"

Hazō didn't answer.

"Thank you for your input, Kurosawa," Minami said bitterly, "but my orders stand. Wakahisa, Ishihara, Kurosawa, carry the prisoners. Kagome, set the timers. Mori… Mori…"

"I will head upwards and perform a brief sweep of the area before we set off."

"Yes. Do that."

"Wait!" Hazō exclaimed at Kagome-sensei's retreating back. "Minami. Captain Minami. I don't think it's fair to make Kagome-sensei do this alone. It's too great a burden for one person to have to kill sixty."

"Is that right?" Minami said in a hollow voice.

"It's OK," Kagome-sensei said before Minami could change her orders. "Let me do it. I… I kill people all the time, right? It won't bother me at all. You should all get going now. I'll catch up."

"Let me do it with you, Kagome-sensei," Hazō said. "I know how to prime explosive seals."

"No way!" Kagome-sensei snapped. "You'll—I'll—It's bad luck for two sealmasters to blow up one ship! Everybody knows that!"

He stormed off before anyone could try to stop him.

Hazō, Minami, Noburi and Keiko exchanged confused glances, while Akane simply turned to follow Kagome-sensei with her eyes.

The team stayed and watched, by an unspoken understanding, as the Sunset Racer tore itself apart. True to Kagome-sensei's word, not a single lick of flame escaped its shell, yet Hazō couldn't shake the feeling that they were gazing into the flames of hell itself.

-o-

Hazō, Noburi and Akane have set off for Leaf with their three prisoners. You have ensured that they have enough skywalkers.

Minami, Keiko and Kagome are heading for Nagi Island. None of you know anything about Nagi Island. Under Keiko's guidance, you have set a geographical landmark as a rendezvous point (skywalker perspective really helps correlate maps to reality).

-o-

You have earned 1 XP.

-o-

What do you do?

Voting closes on Saturday 8th of July, 9 am New York Time.

eaglejarl · Jul 9, 2017

Chapter 141: Keeping the Dream Alive

With Noburi and Akane already loaded and ready, it was Hazō's turn. He crouched down so that Akane could heft the thoroughly-bound and unconscious body of the kunoichi onto his back. He pulled the woman's flaccid arms and legs into a piggyback position and held them there while Akane tied her in place. He bounced a couple of times to make sure that she wouldn't shift, then nodded in satisfaction and turned to the rest of the team.

"Before we leave," Hazō said, "there's something I want to say to all of you.

"A lot of people died, and that sucks. This entire situation sucked for all of us. We are ninja, we exist to hold the line against the darkness. We are Team Uplift, dedicated to not just holding off the darkness but of raising up the light, to saving lives and making them better. We're also a heavy combat team, not an infiltration or capture squad. To mangle a phrase, we go to where the bad guys are and we kick their asses up into their necks—that's what we're good at. This courier mission, capturing Goda, this is all outside our skillset. Minami—Captain Minami, you had to make a hard call that should never have been forced on you. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do what you did, and I hope none of us ever have to again.

"With all that said, I intend to do what Mari-sensei taught us: acknowledge what went wrong, learn from it, but focus on the positive. No matter what else, there was positive here. We worked well together, both in planning and in the actual operation. The combat side of things went smooth as silk. Keiko, your pangolins were as powerful and effective as you predicted, and I'm sorry I ever thought that they weren't worth it. You did your usual amazing job of fixing up the holes in a plan, and you coordinated the ambush brilliantly. Noburi, I don't think any of us had really appreciated just how strong you've become. You took down the entire ship so fast that by the time the rest of us arrived there was nothing left to do. That includes the two experienced ninja that you defeated almost effortlessly, with no risk to anyone on our team. And you did it with surgical precision, taking down our target completely unharmed in the middle of a brawl between powerful ninja and massive pangolins. I am really impressed."

Noburi blushed and looked away. "Thanks, Hazō," he mumbled. He shifted his feet awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable at the strange sensation of having his barrel on his chest instead of his back; it was necessary, since the latter location was currently occupied by the banker.

Hazō nodded back, then looked around the circle again. "We made mistakes in our planning that meant we ended up with a bad outcome. We'll learn from those and we'll do better in the future. Next time we'll be stronger, more experienced. We'll have other options. This will not happen again."

"Damn straight," Noburi muttered, the words low and intense and full of self-recrimination that was rapidly being forged into determination.

Keiko nodded silently and Akane beamed. Minami's face was still, giving nothing away, but her eyes studied him with a wariness and curiosity that were plain as day to someone trained by a fire-haired champion of lying and deceit.

"Uh...that's all, I guess," Hazō said, suddenly out of words.

Akane laughed and glomped him, squeezing tight but carefully enough that his ribs didn't creak more than a little. "Thank you, Hazō. That helped. Now come on, we need to get these three delivered." She tossed a salute to Minami, then turned and leaped away. Hazō and Noburi fell in beside her, six legs moving in a unison forged of the thousands of long miles that had previously passed beneath their collective feet.

o-o-o-o

Ambush time, and the first opportunity to test out the new combat mechanics! Let's kick things off...does the team spot the enemy before he comes out from behind his concealment technique?

Uchiha Itachi, Stealth ?d100 + ?d100 bonus (technique): ?
Hazō, Awareness, 20d100
C-class success for Itachi!

Noburi, Awareness, 20d100
C-class success for Itachi!

Akane, Awareness, 18d100
C-class success for Itachi!

Okay, they don't see him so they're flat-footed. Fortunately, he's not looking for a fight, so he doesn't take advantage of it. Of course, the kids aren't stupid. They don't know who this is, but they have no interest in a fight, so it's time to bail. Roll Initiative!
11290: Itachi
2204: Akane
2129: Noburi
1918: Hazō

Round 1: Fight!
Itachi: Hold until last. He's not looking for a fight yet and wants to see what the kids will do.
Akane (Move): TacMov to open range, 26d100 (deliberately reducing herself to the speed of her companions)
Noburi (Move): TacMov to open range + 5d100 chakra boost, 26d100
Hazō (Move): TacMov to open range + 5d100 chakra boost, 26d100
Itachi (opposing their rolls, no action needed), TacMov ?d100: ?
C-class success for Itachi! He remains at Melee with all three! He continues to hold his actions.

Escape attempt foiled. Round 2!
11497: Itachi
2598: Akane
2141: Noburi
1561: Hazō

Can't run? Fight!
Itachi: Hold actions
Akane (Combat): Taijutsu + 9d100 (chakra boost) + ?d100 (Youthful Fist) + ?d100 (multicombatant): ?
Itachi (opposed roll, no action), Taijutsu: ?
C-class failure for Akane! Catastrophic loss! Instant kill!

Noburi (Quick): Retrieve misterator from pouch
Noburi (Quick): Trigger misterator
Noburi (Combat): Vampiric Dew: 24 CP/s

Does Itachi notice the drain?
Target number: ?
Itachi, Awareness: ?

Holy hells yes, he notices.
Itachi, Melee Weapons (dead/unconscious bodies of Akane+kunoichi) - 10d100 (circumstance malus: awkward and improvised weapon): ?
Noburi, TacMov 21d100 (dodge): ?
C-class victory for Itachi! Massive domination! Instant kill!

Hazō tries for Roki as he punches Itachi!:
Hazō, Deception + Roki, 33d100 = ?
Itachi, Deception = ?
C-class victory for Itachi! Total domination! Hazō does not get Roki!

Hazō (Combat) Taijutsu + 9d100 (chakra boost) + ?d100 (multicombatant): ?
Itachi, Sharingan One-Hit Certain Death Technique: ?
C-class failure for Hazō! Catastrophic loss! Instant death!
But wait! Iron Nerve to the rescue: reroll 1 roll that would otherwise be fatal!
Hazō (Combat) Taijutsu + 5d100 (chakra boost) + ?d100 (multicombatant): ?
Itachi, Sharingan One-Hit Certain Death Technique: [same value as prior attempt]
C-class failure for Hazō! Catastrophic loss! Instant death!

Fifteen hours at ninja speed was a thousand steps, and then another thousand, and then another and another until the mind went blank. The steady thud, thud, thud of feet numbed the brain, making it a struggle to maintain awareness. It helped to have an unaccustomed weight on your back that shifted and bounced slightly with every step, providing a constant source of random sensation. The real solution, though, was to engage the mind with hypotheticals: what if that bird in the distance were actually a summon creature spotting for its master? Suppose a slurp of sky squids charged out of those clouds? How would the team best react? Hide, fight, run...?

No matter how many scenarios he considered, however, nothing could have prepared Hazō for a man shimmering into existence scant meters in front of them, standing blithely in mid-air a thousand meters up. He was tall and austere, his black hair and black-with-red-clouds cloak billowing behind him in the wind. His eyes burned red like rubies dipped in blood, three black commas swirling in each.

Akane reacted instantly, flickering her skywalkers in order to drop fifty meters before turning and sprinting to the west. Hazō and Noburi were fractions of a step behind her and running at maximum chakra-boosted speed; whoever this was, none of them wanted to get in a mid-air fight while wearing sixty kilos of unconscious prisoner.

The air shimmered and the man was once again before them.

"Stop," he said. The wind at this altitude should have torn the words away, but they whispered in Hazō's ear with a velvet spite. "I am here for the prisoners. Give them to me and you may leave."

The team braked to a halt, spreading out slightly. Hazō's brain whirred uselessly. Whoever this was, the cloak marked him as Akatsuki. Jiraiya had described them as a group of S-rank ninja, so fighting him wouldn't be useful. More importantly, though....

"How are you standing there?!" he demanded. "How are you just standing in mid-air? And who are you, anyway?"

The man shrugged, a tiny smile playing across thin lips. "You do not recognize me, Kurosawa? I see that the Iron Nerve really is but a pale remnant of the true Sharingan. I am your distant cousin. I am the Great Traitor of Leaf, the true Master of the Gods' Eyes, the most powerful prodigy of my generation. I am the kinslayer, the demon that haunts the dreams of the Sannin, the shadow warrior of legend. I...am...UCHIHA ITACHI!" He threw his arms back, causing his cloak to snap out behind him like massive bat wings.

"Uh...." Hazō's brain completely froze.

"Okay," Noburi said. "So, how are you just standing there? I know how we do it, but what's your trick?"

Uchiha rolled carnelian eyes in disgust. "The Sharingan sees all, boy. The Toad Pervert and the Old Man brought these 'skywalker' seals to the battle against Yagura. One glance from these eyes was enough to reveal all their secrets; Akatsuki thanks you for the gift." His lips twitched in a half-smile of amusement. "I truly am grateful; running on my own two feet is far preferable to straddling a dragon made of explosives under the control of a not-terribly-sane companion. In fact, I am grateful enough that if you give me your prisoners, I will allow you to leave unharmed."

"Attack!" Akane bellowed, charging forward. Hazō followed in her shadow; Noburi cut to the side, yanked a misterator out of his pouch, and popped it off in Uchiha's face.

Noburi's hand had barely started to move when Uchiha stepped forward with languid grace. A gentle touch of his left palm simultaneously deflected Akane's punch and trapped her wrist even as his right hand wrapped around her throat. Pale fingers clenched and twisted with force that no human, ninja or otherwise, should have been able to generate; her head soared into the distance and a fountain of blood poured from her neck.

Still with that same lazy grace, Uchiha turned Akane's dead body so that the arterial spray splashed Noburi in the face, leaving him coughing and choking while nary a drop soiled the traitor-nin's clothes. Uchiha swung Akane's corpse around by her wrist like a human flail. The mass of the dead genin (and the unconscious kunoichi she wore tied to her) smashed into Noburi's chest in a rising strike that lifted him up and instantly crushed his barrel through his chest. There was the wet squelch of a dozen ribs shattering and pulping the organs behind them and then Noburi and Goda carried arced up and into the distance.

"Nooo!" Hazō screamed, throwing everything he had at Uchiha in a desperate bid for vengeance.

Uchiha sidestepped with casual ease and rammed his finger through Hazō's eye and into his brain. The last thing Hazō felt was an itching deep in—

"NOOO!" Hazō screamed himself upright, hands lashing out at a phantom enemy that had never existed.

"Hazō! It's okay! It's okay, we're safe," said someone who sounded like Noburi but obviously couldn't be because Noburi was dead and....

No.

No, Noburi was fine. They were all fine. The run had been long, tiring, and completely uneventful. Now they were asleep a mile outside of Leaf and a mile in the air. Safe. All of them.

"How long was I asleep?" Hazō croaked, his throat rough from screaming. Akane wordlessly passed him a cup of cool water; Hazō gulped it down gratefully.

"About two hours," Akane said softly. "Do you want to talk about your dream?" She reached out slowly and lay a hand on his leg, offering quiet comfort without crowding him. It was never wise to startle a groggy ninja, especially not one who was still shaking off the effects of a screaming nightmare.

Hazō shuddered. "No. Not now, anyway. We all died on the run here. Uchiha Itachi wanted the prisoners."

Noburi nodded sympathetically. "Mine was about not getting off the boat in time. Kagome set the timers and ran off, but my skywalkers weren't working and there was still so much mist around that you guys didn't notice I wasn't with you. The corpses and the unconscious people were all lying around me, laughing; they weren't moving or sitting up or anything, just laughing. I woke up just before the blast went off."

"Mine was after the ship sank," Akane said quietly. "I was underwater, my leg chained to the railing, holding my breath and struggling to get free. The bodies were all still there, sitting on the deck in a circle, staring at me. The ones that Noburi drained were intact, but they looked like they'd drowned weeks ago—their faces were bluish and water-logged, the skin practically melting off. Their hair swayed in the currents as they watched me try to free myself. The ones that the pangolins...killed, were pulling themselves back together, blood and organs oozing back into a mass of ground meat. Before they finished coming together I couldn't hold my breath anymore and I started to drown."

A wave of shame swept through Hazō; he'd taken the first shift on watch while the others slept. They'd been restless and they'd each woken up partway through his watch, but they hadn't screamed like he had and they'd managed to go quickly back to sleep. Why was he the weak one?

"I'm sorry, honey," he said to Akane, covering her hand with his own. "I'm sorry, Noburi. I should have checked in with both of you when you woke up."

Noburi shrugged and snorted. "I wasn't feeling real chatty just then."

"'Honey'?" Akane asked, smiling.

Hazō blushed. "Um, sorry. It's a thing poppa used to call momma."

She patted his hand, her smile getting brighter. "I like it."

"Gack," Noburi said, pretending to gag. "Ugh, save me from young kids in love."

"Hey!" Hazō said. "What do you mean 'young kids'? I'm older than you!"

Noburi waved a hand dismissively. "It's not the years, kid. It's the mileage."

"You're quoting someone," Akane said, eyeing Noburi curiously. "It's not Mari-sensei, I don't think. Who is it?"

The good humor fell off Noburi's face. "Shikigami-sensei. I heard him saying that to a couple of the other jōnin once, back in Swamp."

Hazō watched Akane look back and forth between her two suddenly-somber teammates with an expression equal parts bemused and concerned. His fear and inner disrepair shifted, acquiring a patina of sadness. He and Akane had been through so much and he had told her so many of his memories and stories, but there was this one set of things that could not be shared. If you hadn't lived through the Swamp you couldn't understand what it had been like. To be torn from everything you knew, tricked into a constant struggle for survival in a place far more deadly than Tea or Iron, knowing that the slightest lapse in attention would bring instant death. Watching constantly as your brothers- and sisters-in-arms died around you, eaten by monsters or exsanguinated by water plants or simply vanishing without a trace. No advanced jutsu, no seals, no advantages to make survival easy and comfortable. In the beginning he hadn't even known water walking, so he and the others had had to slog through mud up to their chests like civilians.

Noburi met his gaze. "Remember the alligator?" he asked with a sideways smile.

Hazō nodded. "I didn't mind the alligator or the spiderbear so much. It was those red bugs that creeped me out."

"Don't you mean they bugged you?"

Hazō mimed thwapping his teammate upside the head and both of them chuckled. Akane joined in, squeezing Hazō's leg reassuringly.

"You know," Hazō said, looking down at her hand where it rested on his thigh. It was the hand of a taijutsu specialist, calloused and rough, with heavily-chewed nails at the ends of fingers that were short and blunt. It was the most beautiful hand in the world.

"You know," he began again, "we've been through a lot of scary stuff, but none of it has hit me as hard as the boat. All those people."

Noburi looked away. "Yeah. I'm...I'm sorry about that. I'll be smarter next time."

Hazō frowned in confusion. "What are you sorry about? You did great."

Noburi shrugged, fiddling with the fabric of his pants and refusing to look at either of them. "Should have thought ahead more. After making such a big deal to you about clan secrets it didn't even dawn on me that all the civilians and whatever would see the mist drain. If I'd been a little smarter maybe we...maybe we could've...."

"Noburi, stop," Akane said, capturing his left hand in her right while leaving her left where it was on Hazō's thigh. "You did nothing wrong. None of us thought of it."

"We didn't look far enough ahead," Hazō confessed. "That's on me. Nara Shikaku even made a point of bringing that up with me in our first conversation. He chewed me out for not thinking of a counter to skywalkers before handing them over to Leaf. Not for the fact that I didn't have a counter, for the fact that I didn't think far enough ahead to even recognize the issue. I should have learned the lesson, should have looked farther ahead than just taking the boat."

"Stop hogging the blame," Noburi said tiredly. "It's not on you. I didn't think of it either. None of us did—you, me, Akane, Kagome, Ms. PrissyPants, none of us. Keiko fixed the plan that we gave her but the plan only went so far. We should have remembered to ask her to look beyond the end of the plan to what problems it might cause. We all know she doesn't think of that sort of thing on her own."

Hazō nodded; there was nothing to say to that and he would bite out his own tongue before he would admit to the tiny part of himself that blamed Keiko for it. She was the brilliant one, the analytical genius; why couldn't she have looked just a little farther ahead and seen the issue? If Pankurashun hadn't gone below then maybe they could have confined the murders to those on deck. Of course, if Pankurashun hadn't gone belowdecks and the enemy ninja had been down there it would have given them time to prepare. Against an enemy of unknown capabilities that was not a good idea. Still, why did Hazō have to be the one to think of everything? Couldn't the brilliant analyst have come up with an original idea just once? It wasn't that hard!

Shame burned through him at the thought. He shook his head and ground his mental heel into the traitorous whisper at the back of his mind. It wasn't fair and he knew it wasn't fair. Keiko's bloodline made her good at some things and terrible at others; it wasn't her fault and it wouldn't do anyone any good to imagine that it was.

"You know the part that worries me?" Hazō asked quietly. "What if it starts getting easier? We killed all those people because it was expedient, because it was necessary to protect Leaf from a possible information leak. What if that becomes a good enough reason?"

Akane turned her hand over so she could grab his and squeeze it reassuringly. "That will not happen. You are both far too youthful to allow that. This pain that we are feeling? It spurs us on, scourges us to drive off the weaknesses and impurities until all that remains is the Will of Fire burning in the springtime of our youth. Something like this will happen again, and we will know better. We have learned, and we will remember. The next time we plan an assault we will think ahead to the consequences and plan how we may keep our natures secret so that we can spare the lives of those we capture."

"That's not good enough," Noburi said. "We can't just do better the next time there's an assault, we have to do better at everything. We need to look ahead of every decision. When we handed the prisoners over, the guards told us to draw back and wait for further instructions. Okay, what's going to happen next? Is Jiraiya likely to hear about this soon? Is our presence likely to cause him a political issue if he calls us inside Leaf to report? If so, we should maintain henge."

"I think the Hyūga would see the henge," Hazō said with a frown. "It might just attract their attention. Maybe physical disguises?"

"I will trust in Jiraiya to think of this and send appropriate orders," Akane said. "I feel that the most important thinking we could do would be what happens after we rejoin the group. Minami's opinion of us is poor at best."

"What you mean 'us', foreigner?" Noburi joked. "Sure, you might have been there for The Incident, but you're a Leaf nin in good standing. She's giving you a pass."

"I'm not sure she knows you were there, actually," Hazō said. "And she was definitely impressed with how you handled that disaster with Kagome-sensei."

Noburi snorted. "Speaking of whom...right now Minami is running around the back of beyond with no one but Kagome and Keiko for company. Can you imagine the talk around the campfire?"

"'I set the perimeter, Dumbbutt...er, Captain Minami!'" Hazō said in a good imitation of Kagome's voice. "'No stinking chakra beast is going to sneak inside my perimeter! Boom, squish!'" He freed himself from Akane's grip just long enough to slam his right fist into his left palm, then reclaimed her beautiful, battered, rough-skinned hand.

"'I calculate a very low probability that any of the local fauna will be capable of passing through the perimeter in order to eat our eyeballs or crawl down our throats and consume us from the inside out,'" Noburi offered. "'However, the chance is non-zero, so it would be wise for each of us to update the others on our preferences regarding burial or cremation if those preferences have changed recently.'"

"Be nice, you two," Akane said with a laugh. "Yes, they're a little gloomy, but—"

"Ahoy the tower!" called a voice from below them and to the left. "Leaf courier approaching with orders!"

The team was instantly on their feet, crowding to the edge of the Air Dome and looking down. Hazō felt a moment of dull surprise to find himself wearing his gauntlets; his hands had pulled them on automatically without his brain needing to be involved at all. On the other hand, he was completely unsurprised to notice that Noburi had his Water Whip active.

A young woman climbed into sight, skywalking upwards as though jogging up a shallow incline. She was frighteningly young to Hazō's heavily-mileaged eyes, but she wore the uniform of a Leaf genin with the blue cloth of a messenger tied around her upper arm.

"Red bird, blue river," Hazō called out, offering the challenge the guards had issued them when they handed Goda over.

"Ash, water, and fire," the possibly-an-Academy-student (?!) replied with a sunny tone. "Wow, this is amazing! I've only been to one other skytower so far and boy these things are riff. You guys are so lucky to get to be up here—whoa, were you camping up here? Oh, wow, that is utterly riff!"

Hazō blinked. "Riff?"

The girl grinned. "Yeah, riff. I wish they'd let me sleep up this high!" She turned, hands on her hips as she looked out over the map-like expanse of the Elemental Nations far below. "This is way beyond riff. This is completely shattered!"

The three teammates looked at each other.

"This is what all our sensei used to feel like," Hazō observed wonderingly.

Akane laughed. "Excuse me, young lady. I believe you said you had orders for us?"

The toddler dressed as a ninja jumped guiltily and turned to face them. "Right, sorry! Like I said, they don't generally let us up this high but I was the one on messenger duty when Lord Hokage needed the message run—I mean it's not like he gave me the message personally because wow would that be completely shattered!—but anyway, he gave it to his secretary who gave it to the deskmaster who gave it to me and now I'm giving it to you!"

At Hazō's elbow, Noburi choked a laugh down into a cough and allowed his Water Whip to dissolve.

The little girl in front of them drew herself up to a position of attention, hands folded neatly behind her and eyes straight ahead. The words came out in a fast patter, each with the exact intonation that had been trained into all three of the team back during their long-gone Academy days.

"Orders from Lord Hokage actual to mission team designate 'Rockfall 2', deliver soonest. Orders are as follows: Team Rockfall 2 is to report to the Hokage's office for in-person debrief—And wow, that is so shattered! You guys must be seriously tapped!...um, where was I? Oh, yeah: For in-person debrief. After reporting, team will have the remainder of the day to resupply, and then Rockfall 2 is to reunite with Rockfall 1 at maximum urgency consistent with safety and OPSEC."

Author's Note: You made excellent time, arriving at the gates of Leaf at five in the morning. You delivered Goda and the kunoichi to the gate guards and asked if you should wake them up via chakra water; the guards looked uncertain and compromised by taking a canteen full of chakra water with them when they went off to deliver the prisoners to T&I. Akane was reluctant to go in at a time when no one explicitly friendly to you (Jiraiya, Mari-sensei, or Nara Shikaku) were likely to be awake, so she opted to withdraw and sleep for a few hours while waiting for orders. She impressed on the guards that they should get orders only from Jiraiya or 'the jōnin commander' personally and not go through channels. The guards took that in stride; they checked to be sure that it wasn't urgent enough to wake anyone up and, upon being told that it wasn't, they gave you a passcode exchange (as you saw) and said that they would send someone as soon as they could. Akane thanked them, told them where you'd be camping, and off you went.

XP AWARD: 3

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, July 12, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Velorien · Jul 13, 2017

Chapter 142: Familiar Faces

The Fifth Hokage seemed to be bearing up well under the strain of his unasked-for office. His attitude as he studied Team Rockfall 2 was confident, his expression commanding and his face revealing nothing but relaxed attention. It was a far cry from the playful, lighthearted Jiraiya Hazō had once known, but also nothing like the exhausted wreck his pessimistic side had pictured.

"Hazō. Noburi. Akane. I'm glad to see you're well." The voice, now, that had more than a trace of weariness in it. It crossed Hazō's mind that they were being offered a gesture of trust, because he didn't doubt for a second that Jiraiya could make himself sound as alert as he needed.

"Thank you, sir," Akane said. "Shall I begin my report?"

"Go ahead."

"We met the contact in Ise as planned and delivered the message. That was when he told us about Goda, a senior yakuza who had visited the bar several times. He said that Goda was due to leave Ise on a ship called the Sunset Racer.

"Noburi was the one who realised that because senior yakuza must know a lot about the underworld in general, odds were good that Goda would know something about Akatsuki. We came up with a plan to capture Goda, and then we got in touch with you through the Summon Realm."

"Nice job, kids," Jiraiya gave a small smile.

"Sir?"

"I'll be honest, when I sent you out on this mission, I was worried you'd show some of your famous initiative and do something we'd all regret. But you saw an opportunity, made a plan, and asked for the go-ahead from your superiors as soon as you could. That's a flawless, textbook performance. And it's made only sweeter by the fact that I have Goda downstairs, so obviously you pulled it off.

"But a mission without complications is like a hyperactive Nara," he said wryly. "Never heard of one, never will. Akane, hit me."

"Should I recap the plan first? I don't know how much detail Keiko gave you."

"I'm all ears." Jiraiya leaned forward, abandoning his ramrod-straight stance to rest his elbows on his desk.

"We set up an ambush for the Sunset Racer out in the sea, well away from Ise. Keiko and Noburi placed a skytower on the water for summoning, then waited beneath the surface with three of Keiko's pangolins, using seaweed for camouflage. The rest of us waited up above using skywalkers.

"When the ship arrived, the pangolins broke the rudder, and then attacked under the cover of misterators. Panjandrum and Panchipāma—"

"Panjandrum?" Jiraiya echoed. "Huh. Carry on."

"Sir. Those two engaged Goda's immediate bodyguards, while Pankurashun made a hole above the waterline and climbed in to clear out any possible reinforcements. The rest of us hung back, stayed concealed and acted as support.

"Pankurashun finished his part first—he killed four yakuza and an uncertain number of sailors who... who were fighting to protect their ship. We didn't count the bodies afterwards."

Jiraiya frowned. "So the sailors participated in the fighting. All of them? How many were there?"

"Sixty," Akane said heavily. "Sixty sailors."

Her expression clouded over.

Hazō would be a failure as a boyfriend if he stood by and did nothing, but he couldn't exactly interrupt the report to cheer up Akane. Not that he knew what words of solace he could offer in the face of what they'd done. Right now, he decided, the best thing he could do was take over from her while she regained her composure.

"Upstairs," Hazō said, "there were eleven yakuza, but only one engaged in combat, and was killed almost immediately. The two ninja, though, managed to kill Panjandrum, and I think if the battle had gone on too long, they would have won against Panchipāma and Pankurashun as well. We underestimated them."

"I think we might have overestimated the pangolins, frankly," Noburi commented. "I mean, the ninja had more chakra than we did, but way less than Jōtarō. That puts them at high chūnin tops."

"So you drained them," Jiraiya said carefully.

"Yes, sir," Noburi grinned. "While the pangolins were keeping them busy, I drained the two ninja and the entire rest of the ship into unconsciousness."

"You used your mist drain ability in front of Minami."

"Um. Yes, sir. But she already knew. We... had used it earlier to take out a thug who was threatening one of the contacts."

Noburi squirmed at Jiraiya's rapidly harshening glare.

"I was supposed to be the only person in Leaf who knew about that," Jiraiya growled, "and that's only because I asked you for a full tactical assessment when you agreed to join the clan. Now you're telling me that the Minami Clan has that information as well. Do you realise how much of my work you've just ruined, Noburi?"

Since the team had already decided to be open with Jiraiya, Hazō chose to accept the blame immediately. (This had nothing to do with the fact that if he didn't, Noburi would be sure to set the record straight with plenty of his trademark venom.)

"Actually, that was me. I told her about it during planning without thinking about the consequences. I'm sorry."

Jiraiya put his hand to his face, incidentally or deliberately blocking Hazō from his field of view.

"But is it really that bad, sir? I mean, when you think about it, the risk to Noburi from having it revealed isn't that significant, and—"

"Hazō," Jiraiya cut him off, "the Minami were going to be my tool—our tool—to pull the carpet out from under the Hyūga. They were a dying clan, with the Hyūga using their influence to choke them economically and politically, until the Third personally stepped in. They've been Hokage loyalists ever since, and this was going to be their chance to repay that debt. Giving them leverage over our clan, any leverage at all, will disrupt a crucial power imbalance that I've been counting on to make this work."

Jiraiya looked to the heavens as if seeking support, but found only the unsympathetic office ceiling.

"Ah, forget it. I don't have time to waste on lecturing you right now. Get on with the report."

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." Hazō looked down sheepishly.

"We searched the ship and didn't find anything noteworthy except a coded ledger and a sketch of—of personal significance to Goda. We weren't sure whether we were supposed to give them straight to you, but in the end I thought it would be better to hand them in with the prisoners to give Cryptography and Interrogation respectively a head start.

"Right call," Jiraiya said. "It's not like I can break yakuza codes with a single glance. Not all of them, anyway. Speaking of the prisoners, I notice you gave me two bonus gifts I never asked for."

"That was Captain Minami's decision. She decided that since they were Goda's bodyguards, they might have picked up relevant information while working for him, or at least you could use their stories to cross-check his."

"She's not wrong. I just wish they weren't Chashu Clan. Those guys lost a lot of territory to Mist during the Noodle Incident, and they were one of the clans that collaborated with us to drive Mist out. They're one of Noodle's most Leaf-friendly clans now, and they are going to be pissed if they find out we killed two of their ninja without provocation.

"Which brings us to the most important part." Jiraiya narrowed his eyes. "Can anyone link the attack to Leaf?"

"No," Hazō said. "No, they can't. Captain Minami decided we couldn't take the risk that the survivors saw the pangolins well enough for someone to identify them. We discussed it, we looked for ways to save their lives… but in the end we couldn't think of anything that didn't risk an OPSEC breach. So Kagome-sensei planted explosive charges… and we killed them. All sixty civilians, plus the yakuza."

Jiraiya didn't say anything for a few seconds.

Then, softly, "I'm proud of you kids."

What?

Hazō's expression must have spoken for him.

Jiraiya straightened up.

"Ninja only kill to protect. Not because it's easier than the alternative. Not because we can. That's the village Sarutobi-sensei created, the ideal he passed down to us. The legacy he died fighting to protect.

"The fact that you made the effort not to take lives when you didn't have to is proof that you belong in Leaf. It means that, despite being brought up in a village of villains and murderers, you are capable of inheriting the Will of Fire.

"And the fact that you decided to kill them to protect the village is the flip side of that coin. I know it was hard for you, kids. I really do. You're idealists who think civilian lives matter the way ninja lives matter, and learning to put aside your ideals so you can do what has to be done is one of the hardest lessons the shinobi world has to teach.

"But in the end, you did the right thing. Never doubt that."

"Th—Thank you, sir." Akane gave a hesitant smile, moisture gathering in her eyes.

"Do we have to kill the Chashu ninja?" Hazō asked. "If we can turn them, they could make great additions to your network. They're skilled fighters and they have experience working in the underworld. Or you could ransom them back, or find some other use for them."

"There's that idealism again," Jiraiya sighed. "We need every ounce of information those girls have and that means T&I will be working overtime on them. They're not going to be of any use to anyone once it's over, and we couldn't trust them even if they were."

"Couldn't you use the Yamanaka?"

"Yamanaka abilities aren't foolproof. Do you think Uchiha fucking Itachi," Jiraiya's fists tightened, "would be in Akatsuki right now if we could give foolproof loyalty tests to whomever we wanted? Do you think Mizuki would have got to screw over Akane?

"Look, you know I'm not the kind of guy to let potential assets go to waste. It's the only reason you made it to Iron alive in the first place. But those two? They were dead the moment you decided to go after Goda."

"I… I understand." And Hazō did. He'd seen what clan loyalty meant to Keiko and Noburi. Even now, with their clans having declared them anathema, and with no way back, they still thought of themselves as Mori and Wakahisa, and he didn't know what it would take to truly make them part of Jiraiya's clan (though a name would probably be a good start). It had never been a realistic hope to break the Chashu's clan allegiances after kidnapping their client and interrogating them as enemy combatants.

"Just how it is, kid," Jiraiya said. "Anything else?"

This was the hard part. They'd talked it over, he and Akane and Noburi. He hadn't been sure until the last moment that it was the right thing to do, and maybe he still wasn't. But Akane, World's Best Girlfriend and unerring moral compass, and Noburi, who was better with people than Hazō would ever be, both agreed that Jiraiya needed to know.

Hazō glanced around the room. "We're completely alone, right? And all your privacy seals are up?"

Jiraiya looked resigned. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Well… you know how I accidentally told Captain Minami about the mist drain?"

"Go on," Jiraiya said warily.

"Kagome-sensei reacted badly."

Jiraiya buried his head in his hands. "How many casualties?"

"Err… none. Not even any injuries."

Jiraiya looked up again. "Thank the fucking Sage of Six Paths and all his infinite brothers. I owe Mari a drink."

"You do?"

"She bet me Kagome would screw something up and you'd have to bail him out at least once. Looking back, I have no idea how that woman got me to take her up on it.

"Anyway. He reacted badly. What's the damage?"

"He tried to kill her in her sleep."

Jiraiya closed his eyes. A blood-chilling silence seeped into the room from behind the Hokage's desk, snuffing out all sound before it could come into existence.

When Jiraiya finally spoke, his voice was ninja wire tense enough to walk like a tightrope over an abyss, and part of Hazō felt that they were doing that exact thing.

"Does she know?"

"Yes!" Hazō yelped. "But it's not as bad as it sounds! She promised to drop the whole thing from her report in exchange for Kagome-sensei—"

"Whoa!" Noburi exclaimed. "That's, uh, can I cut in here?"

Jiraiya looked at him with an unreadable expression. Noburi apparently took it as consent.

"Sorry to interrupt, sir," Noburi said in a voice more casual than anything Hazō had ever heard from him in real life, "but Hazō's doing his usual thing of trying to wedge his foot so far in his mouth it comes out of his ass. I mean obviously Captain Minami wasn't planning to cover up the attempted murder of a Leaf ninja. That would be crazy. Sure, she did say that at the time, but she was panicking and would have said anything to stop us from killing her. Honestly, we were all feeling that way. You said it yourself—a Minami would never dream of betraying the Hokage."

"Th—That's right," Akane said. "Afterwards, we spent ages talking about how best to break it to you, sir, and she never once suggested pretending nothing happened."

"Exactly," Noburi nodded his head rapidly. "All completely innocent discussion. Hazō there has just proved how much phrasing and delivery matter when dealing with sensitive issues, and we couldn't afford to misrepresent anything the way he nearly did."

Akane opened her mouth to deliver further reassurances, while Hazō silently made a note never to say anything ever again.

"Enough," Jiraiya's voice slammed down on them like a MEW pillar from the skies.

"How has Minami responded? What's her attitude towards the rest of you? Has she said what she's planning to do about it? Do you know if she's told anyone?"

"We just about managed to patch things up," Noburi said. "She agreed not to share the clan secret or tell anyone about the murder attempt—present company excepted, obviously, as I said. In return, Kagome has… what was Hazō's expression… sworn fealty to her. He's going to unconditionally share his seals and knowledge with her, and he's promised to get his head seen to once the mission's over.

"He has also threatened to murder her entire clan if she betrays us.

"I think she's the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve," he went on, "which is to say a poor liar. And so far I've seen no sign that she's broken her word and told anyone."

Hazō didn't know what reaction to expect after dropping this implosion seal on Jiraiya, but all he got in the end was a grim "I see."

After a while, Jiraiya looked up as if remembering that the group was still there.

"We're done here. Go resupply."

Hazō hesitated. "Um, Jiraiya. Sir. I don't want to be rude, but I realise you must be under a lot of stress right now, and we're part of your clan, so we might be the only people who don't have an agenda in regard to you right now. Is there anything we can do for you?"

Jiraiya glanced at Akane.

"You gave me back my world, sir," Akane said firmly. "It was the second most youthful thing anyone has ever done for me. I won't betray your trust.

"Besides," she added quietly, "I hope to be part of your clan as well someday."

Hazō's brain ground to a halt.

Jiraiya contemplated the three of them, then grimaced.

There was the pop of the Transformation Technique being dispelled.

The man beneath the disguise was still Jiraiya. Mostly. The bloodshot eyes with heavy bags beneath them were new, and his clothes no longer bore the same pristine look. Even the Hokage hat was slightly askew.

"Stressed?" He laughed bitterly. "You have no idea. There is not one person that comes into this office who doesn't want something from me that I can't give them. About the only one I can trust is Shikaku, and that's because he's gone all in on making my regime work. And even he has his own endgame, which I'm pretty sure involves making the Nara Clan indispensable. Bastard's going to pull it off, too, because he knows I can't turn down the support.

"I'm finally getting why Sarutobi-sensei was the God of Shinobi. He managed to do all this practically single-handed and be a legendary badass and still find the time and energy to reform Leaf society. When we get my godson back, the first thing I'm going to do is cure him of wanting to be Hokage.

"Can you help me? I don't think so. But even though I apparently can't trust you to hold a wooden spoon without cutting your own throat, I can trust you to be on my side, and that's not nothing. Plus it is such a damn relief to have a debriefing where I don't have to sound like some kind of badly-made clone. 'Report. Proceed. Acknowledged. Noted. Dismissed.' If I ever had a character in one of my books speak the way I've been speaking since I became Hokage, I'd have to commit honourable suicide the second I put down the brush.

"So at this point I'm afraid to ask, but is there anything else?"

"My mother," Hazō said. It was about the only thing capable of reviving his frozen mental functions. "I know what we're doing is more urgent, and more important as far as Leaf is concerned, but I still want to ask. Do you have any plans for how to extract her? If not, can we help make some?"

"We have our eyes on Mist," Jiraiya said. "The most dangerous enemy's a cornered one. If there are openings, we won't miss them, but right now Mist is on high alert and we can't spare the resources to work around that."

Of course. The same answer as before. Kurosawa Hana was only ever going to be one more foreign ninja to Jiraiya, maybe a useful asset but not as important as any of the thousand other things he was interested in right now.

It probably didn't take the world's greatest spymaster to read Hazō's thoughts.

"Ah, what the hell. I was going to save it until Keiko and Kagome were back, but I guess there's no actual harm in telling you now. Listen up, all of you, because what you're about to hear is the truth, and it has always been the truth, and when the time is right it will be the truth known across the world.

"A couple of years ago, a bunch of Mist ninja realised the superiority of Leaf's ideology. It was obvious to them that Leaf was better in every way, and that if the Mizukage went to war against Leaf, Mist would lose and be ruined. But because the Mizukage was a tyrant who ruled through fear, they had no chance of reforming Mist from within. So they defected.

"A large group of Mist-nin, led by a Leaf sympathiser named Shikigami, seized an opening to escape Mist, and headed into the Fire Country. Unfortunately for them, the Mizukage had a hate-boner for traitors, and sent hunter-nin who intercepted them and slaughtered them nearly to a man. There were only five survivors, and Leaf decided to keep their existence secret so that the Mizukage wouldn't know his secrets had been compromised.

"But now that Leaf has won the war, thanks in part to the heroic efforts of the defectors, it will soon be time to reveal the truth. These five were never traitorous 'missing-nin' who turned their backs on the village system. They were never poached by Leaf in blatant violation of international norms. They merely traded one village for another on their own initiative.

"And later, we will be able to admit that the defectors had left one person behind, a jōnin who would spy on Mist for us and help prevent the Mizukage's madness from plunging the continent into another full-scale world war. She, too, will be welcome in Leaf without any of the stigma attached to missing-nin."

The team stared, open mouthed.

"Five people?" Akane recovered first. "But Kagome wasn't a Mist-nin, was he?"

Jiraiya smirked. "Don't underestimate the Fifth Hokage, kid. Kagome was an outspoken critic of the Mizukage's brutality, which got him sentenced to 'corrective treatment' in Mist T&I. He was eventually released because he was too valuable as a sealmaster, but the torture left him an emotionally troubled man with a confused memory full of gaps. He deserves only respect and compassion for the sacrifices he's made in the name of Leaf's enlightened ideals."

"But will people really buy it?" Noburi asked.

"It's a win-win situation for the clans. It makes Leaf look good, it makes Mist look bad, and they can pretend that they accepted your citizenship on merit rather than because I bullied them into it. In foreign policy terms, given the trouncing Mist just got, it's going to look plausible that the smarter ninja saw it coming and decided not to go down with the ship."

The three genin winced as one.

"Sorry, poor choice of words. Anyway, look, even though this is officially the truth, and has always been the truth, don't forget to keep your 'cover story' as missing-nin in place until it's time for the big reveal. Got it?"

"Got it."

"And Jiraiya, sir?" Hazō added. "Thank you."

"Good. Now get lost. And check in on Mari. She misses you kids, heaven knows why."

Jiraiya's impeccable disguise was already back up by the time Akane opened the door.

-o-

"Ow, my bones! When I said I wanted to get thinner, this wasn't what I meant!"

"Sorry, Mari-sensei." Akane reluctantly disengaged from her hug.

"It's great to see you all," Mari-sensei beamed.

Mari vs Hazō Taijutsu: Class B success for Mari

Hazō sensed danger and reacted instantly. Knowing he wouldn't have time to dodge to the side, he did the only possible thing and stepped backwards, out of Mari-sensei's inferior reach.

Unfortunately, the three-times-running Mist Women's CQC champion had seen the move coming. She'd manoeuvred herself such that Hazō's evasion took him straight into Akane, whom she had subtly repositioned during their hug.

Hazō felt something soft press against his back. He froze as he realised what it was.

And in that moment, Mari-sensei reached over and ruffled his hair.

"Ahh, that was satisfying."

She gave Hazō a happy hug.

"Say what you like, you can't beat tormenting the innocent for stress relief."

"Has it been that stressful?" Noburi asked.

"It's a pit of vipers. Giant venomous chakra vipers. With other, smaller, giant venomous chakra vipers riding them. There's a whole world of treachery and manipulation, and the clan heads' wives will do anything to protect their pecking order and push their clans' interests, usually in that order of priority. Anything goes, from lies to blackmail to seduction.

"I haven't felt so alive in years."

"How are the politics generally?" Hazō asked. "What's been happening here?"

"The calm before the storm," Mari-sensei said seriously. "Jiraiya's got the clan heads cowed for the moment, but everyone knows their compliance isn't going to last a second past the end of the crisis—and maybe not even that if Jiraiya gives them a reason to doubt his worth as Hokage. Meanwhile, the other villages are sniffing around, looking for weakness. If Jiraiya can keep the wolves from the door long enough for us to finish adapting the ninja forces and military doctrine to skywalkers, we'll be on solid footing again. Yes, I know, lousy pun, so sue me. But in short, everything's unstable, the village is constantly teetering on the brink of war, and Akimichi Chōko is an insufferable bitch with a superiority complex the size of the Fire Country.

"Ouch," Noburi said. "Oh, before I forget, Jiraiya says he owes you a drink because Kagome did something stupid."

"A drink?" Mari-sensei laughed. "Is that what he called it? To think he cared so much about protecting vulnerable young minds. So what did Kagome do this time?"

"Actually," Hazō said, "I think you'd better ask Jiraiya to tell you. It's the kind of thing you want the Hokage privacy seals for. Or at least the kind of security setup I'm guessing you can't get on short notice."

"Ah. Well, I guess that's something to look forward to. All right, I know you're on the clock, so get going. There'll be time for us to catch up once the mission's done, and I've got plenty of quality Inoue Mari insights for you once you have time to train again. For now, here's a freebie."

She leaned over and whispered something in Akane's ear. Akane glanced down at her body and blushed.

"We, uh, should really get going," Hazō said quickly.

There was a smithy on their resupply list, right? One very far away from here so he'd have to run to make it there without wasting time?

But even with chakra boost, he couldn't break the sound barrier and escape Mari-sensei's peals of laughter.

-o-

You have earned 4 XP.

-o-

You have completed your business in Leaf. As of the end of this update, you have not yet reunited with the rest of the team.

What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 15th of July, 9 am New York Time.

eaglejarl · Jul 16, 2017

Chapter 143: The Mission

The run to Nagi Island was tiring, tedious, troublesome, and boring as watching paint dry. Long-distance running was always boring, but at least with skywalkers the view was beautiful and you didn't need to worry about being ambushed by the local predators. Unfortunately, that option wasn't open to them anymore. Their orders were very clear: use of skywalkers and skytowers was to be kept to an absolute minimum. Jiraiya was worried that their rapid departure from the brothel in Ise might have compromised his agent and attracted increased interest from the intelligence networks of other powers, most notably Mist.

"Ninja lighting out of a city with no attempt at stealth indicates high-priority messages, which makes everyone sit up and take notice," he'd lectured in a hurried meeting immediately before they left. "You did the right thing, but the whole area is likely to be on alert for a while and we can't afford to have anyone see skywalkers in operation yet. Keep on the ground unless absolutely necessary. And avoid people as much as you can. They'll be looking for my agents, better if no one spots you carrying messages around."

They could have done the entire trip in a straight run but Akane ruled that they weren't in that much of a hurry and that it would be better to take it a little easier so as to recover from the marathon trip to Leaf. Therefore, they camped a bit before sunset, above the high tide line on a beach at the edge of Fire. Hazō was surprised at just how uncomfortable it had become to sleep anywhere other than five thousand feet in the air. Still, they had plenty of Air Dome seals to keep the camp safe and a Multiple Earth Wall platform under them to keep anything from tunneling up under it. It was safe enough, and Akane was right: everyone was tired.

They made camp with a minimum of conversation; no one really had the energy. Dinner was unsealed from a scroll, wolfed down, and then they were ready to turn in for the night. They drew straws for watches; Akane was first, Hazō second, and Noburi third. Noburi looked back and forth between his teammates, snorted, and said, "Just keep it down, you two." He then took his blankets to the farthest reaches of the platform (said reaches not being very far at all) and turned on his side with his back to them.

Hazō glowered at Noburi, unsure whether to be annoyed about the jab or grateful for the attempt at giving them privacy. He sat down next to Akane, close enough that their shoulders touched, and set out the sandglass that would tell them when to renew the Air Dome seals.

Akane leaned into him with a faint smile, but her eyes remained locked on the steady march of the waves lapping at the beach a few dozen yards away. "The skywalkers and skytowers were designed around fighting," she murmured. "Escape from danger, provide advantage in battle or in scouting. And yet, there is so much unique beauty that cannot seen without them. The ocean from above, grey as steel and covered in what looks like ripples. The clouds, white and fluffy from above even when they seem dark and gloomy from below. The sunset, larger and more glorious even than this.

"And yet, they hide as much as they reveal. From here, the ocean is green and blue with white foam like lace. The waves that look like ripples, or even just a texture, from above are large and individual from here. And you can't hear the sound of the waves from so far above."

Hazō looked out over the ocean and nodded. "It's funny how much things depend on your perspective," he said, quietly taking Akane's hand in his. Their fingers interlaced naturally, Hazō's pinky to the outside; it felt right. "We've crossed this water in a boat, and on foot, and in the sky. Everything seemed different each time."

"'You cannot step in the same river twice, nor return to your boyhood home as a man," Akane quoted softly. "Everything is constantly changing, including us. I saw it when I was released from the hospital; my parents' house was smaller than I remembered, the colors duller. It wasn't the house that changed, though. It was me."

Hazō nodded thoughtfully, wondering what his home in Mist would look like to eyes that were years older and sixty...seventy? murders wearier than the last time he had seen the place.

How many people had he killed? Those three genin from the Liberator camp. Jōtarō, possibly Komori. That zombie of Arikada's, although perhaps that didn't count. The sixty people on the boat.

Truth be told, it was really only the people on the boat that weighed on him. It was one thing to kill other ninja while fighting for your life and the lives of your friends, but it was completely different to murder helpless civilians who had done nothing wrong. Mirai, Bōsatsu, Ken, Jōtarō...their faces occasionally appeared in his dreams, but they did not yank him awake screaming and covered in sweat. Apparently, no matter how much he claimed to believe that every person was precious, he didn't really value the lives of other ninja as much as he valued those of civilians. Which was exactly the attitude that every other ninja had, except reversed. What did that say—

Akane's shoulder-bump almost knocked him over and did succeed in knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Stop it," she said, smiling at him. "You had mopey face."

He chuckled guiltily. "A little, I guess."

She cuddled closer, shifting so that his arm was around her shoulders. "No moping," she said. "Just sit with me, and let's enjoy the sunset and the ocean."

Hazō smiled and stroked her hair. "I can do that."

o-o-o-o

"Welcome back," Minami said as the team skywalked into sight over the camp. Orders or not, finding their teammates in the middle of hundreds of square miles of forest was a lost cause, even with 'that spot on the northwest corner of Nagi Island where the river does that double S-bend' as a starting point. Given the low chance of there being anyone in the area except the six of them, and the even lower chance of finding each other on the ground, Akane had authorized a quick fifteen-minute venture into the sky.

"Thanks!" Akane called back, staying a cautious ten yards up for now. "Kagome, where are you? It's us. Leather shirt knife vegetable pan oil peppers wimpy whiney log rocks." (Kagome-sensei had been feeling remarkably paranoid at the thought of half his team being gone for days. It had shown in the passwords he invented.)

"Fire branch mouse poop green fingernail whetstone brush ink paper," Kagome-sensei replied, eeling out from where he'd been hiding under what seemed like an innocent tangle of ferns that should not have been large enough for a human to hide in. "I'm glad you're back. How's Jiraiya-stinker?"

"Good," Hazō said. "Is that curry I smell?"

"Yes," Keiko said. "Do not worry. I made it with no assistance from Kagome."

"Wimps," Kagome-sensei grumbled. "You try to add a little flavor but noooo. Bland as soup, that's the way it has to be. Pansies."

"Kagome, there are times when I think that your tastebuds must have been caught in an explosion," Minami said, with an amused shake of her head.

"An explosion of flavor," Kagome-sensei mumbled. "Stinking wimpy pansy wimps."

"Wimpy or not, I'm starving," Hazō said, reaching eagerly for the bowl Keiko was holding out. Akane and Noburi were crowding in behind him, equally anxious to try the curry now that it had been pronounced non-Kagome-approved.

Minami watched them intently as they shoveled the food in, her foot jiggling impatiently until she obviously couldn't stand it anymore. "How did it go?" she burst out at last. "What did Lord Hokage have to say? Was Goda worth it?"

"Jiraiya said that the interrogation had been 'illuminating' and it was still going on," Noburi said. "Nothing more specific, though. That was right before we left; when we got there we briefed him about the ship and Goda and everything. He said that we made the right call and that he was proud of us for protecting Leaf even though it was unpleasant. He also said that he was worried about things being hot in Ise and that spreading to the surrounding area. He gave us some additional stops to make and some updated messages, then told us to stay covert as much as possible, stay away from other people, and reiterated the 'use skywalkers and skytowers only when absolutely necessary and otherwise stay on the ground' orders." He watched her eyebrows go up and waited until she was just about to speak before continuing. "Which is why we used them for about fifteen minutes, just long enough to find you guys. The rest of the trip was all on foot and, let me tell you, water-walking across waves ten feet high sucks balls. When we finish this mission I say we take a boat home."

Everyone winced at the reminder of the Sunset Racer and her passengers; Noburi caught it just a second after it came out of his mouth. Hazō watched the thought spread across the other boy's face, followed by a desperate effort to find words that would redirect the image and recapture the congenial mood of a moment ago. No such words were found.

"How about you guys?" Hazō asked. "Anything exciting to report?"

"Two encounters with chakra beasts that thought they were higher on the food chain than us," Minami said with a snort. "Or, rather, two encounters with the mangled remains of such creatures after they ran into Kagome's defenses."

Kagome-sensei snickered.

"What's so funny?" Akane asked.

"There was a third encounter which has apparently slipped Minami's mind," Keiko said blandly. "One with a bunch of venomous frogs that were lying in wait in the latrine pit."

Hazō blinked. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Keiko said. "Kagome and I heard Minami shriek and we came running."

"I did not shriek! I alerted my team to a threat on the perimeter!"

Keiko's gaze was even, her voice without inflection, yet there was still a wealth of sarcasm hiding in it. "I stand corrected. Minami alerted us to the threat. Kagome arrived ahead of me and dealt with said threat decisively, albeit without consideration for the possible consequences of throwing explosives into a latrine."

Minami shuddered and pulled a strand of her hair around so that she could sniff it. "Took me hours to feel clean again."

"I said I was sorry," Kagome-sensei grumbled. "Your own fault for not looking where you were pooping."

"I looked! They were hiding!"

"S'why you stir it first."

Minami looked at him incredulously. "Seriously? You stir the latrine every time you crap? That's disgusting."

"Keeps you from getting bitten on your dumb butt," Kagome-sensei said smugly.

"I have noticed," Keiko interjected, looking to Minami, "that the number and type of chakra creatures increases the farther one moves from civilization. There are precautions necessary out here that are not necessary closer to well-patrolled areas like those around Leaf." She turned back to the rest of the team. "In any case, the frogs' venom was hallucinogenic instead of lethal, although it took several hours to clear from Minami's system." She paused a bit. "It also appears to have had a powerful laxative and emetic effect."

"As fascinating as this conversation is, could we talk about something else?" Hazō asked desperately. "Something less poop-related, like what we're doing tomorrow?"

"We did the drops to the civilian villages in Noodle while you were in Leaf," Minami said, clearly grateful for the change in topic. "We've only got one for Nagi Island, so tomorrow we'll head over to the east side and do that. I imagine the three of you are pretty bushed after that trip, and according to the map it's going to take six or seven hours to get to the drop, so we'll call it a day after the delivery and then start pushing again at dawn." She pulled out a cloth map and lay it on the ground beside her where everyone could see it. "The next stop is Honey and we've got two potential routes to get there, islandhopping up the eastern or western island chains. I want to cross to O'uzu and then go up the eastern chain. It'll add a little bit of distance but there'll be less time on the ocean and it'll keep us a little farther from Mist. I really don't want to tangle with those guys." The look she shot around the fire clearly said especially since you lot come from there. "Although, you said Lord Hokage added new stops?"

"Yeah," Noburi said, setting his bowl down so he could retrieve his notes from the storage seal in his inside left pocket. "And it's a good thing you wanted to go to O'uzu because that's where they are. One on the west coast about halfway down, two on the east coast and—tada!—Todoroki Shrine, all the way at the bottom."

Minami groaned. "I'm sure Lord Hokage knows what he's doing, but that's at least an extra six hundred miles. That'll almost double the time left on this mission."

Noburi shrugged. "'Ours not to wonder why, ours but to slog along and cry'," he said, quoting the unofficial motto of all field ninja everywhere.

Minami sighed. "I know. Okay. Well, I want to get this done with as soon as we can. I sure wish that if he'd let us use skywalkers, though; you can go a lot faster with no terrain to worry about and you don't have to stop as soon as it starts getting dark." She glanced at the map again, then folded it away. "Okay, well, it is what it is. Let's finish dinner and pack it in. If we're doubling the mission time then I'll want to push as hard as we can, so forget stopping early tomorrow."

o-o-o-o

The morning dawned grey and rainy. 'Rainy' in the sense that a waterfall is a 'fast-flowing part of the river.' Hazō found himself seriously missing the ability to climb above the clouds, out of the gloom and downpour to where sunlight gleamed on fluffy whiteness. But no, they had to slog through mud and murk and rain so cold it felt like ice. Worse, Nagi Island was apparently home to a slew of water-loving insects that found humans delicious. They weren't toxic or dangerous, just annoying. Kagome-sensei had an herb paste that served as a decent repellent, but the torrential rains washed it away within minutes and there was nothing to do but suffer.

Mindful of the urgency of their mission and the fact that it had just been extended, Minami refused to allow them to stop and wait out the rain. Instead, they water-walked across the flooded areas (frequent) and the mud (everywhere) and tried not to complain too much as they shivered and squelched. They stopped for lunch only briefly, huddling under an Air Dome seal while Akane used her Elemental Mastery jutsu to warm them up. The heat was lovely, but it only increased the dread of knowing they were going back out into the rain soon enough.

Given the conditions, it was hardly surprising that it took longer than expected to get to the delivery point. Minami forced them to continue on after dark, moving by the light of three oil lanterns from their storage scrolls, each of which was carefully held under a rain shield. It made Hazō nervous to be throwing that much light around; Minami acknowledged the concern as legitimate, but felt that it was more important to make their destination tonight than to worry about the unlikely chance of being seen by someone or -thing who could endanger the team or their mission.

By the time they arrived at the farmyard it was two hours after nightfall and everyone's temper was frayed. Minami pounded on the heavy wooden door that stood between them and that mythical place, 'warm and dry'.

"Open up!" she called. "We're travelers with news of the world for you!" It was one of the nicer passwords that Jiraiya had set up—much nicer than 'tomato nipples' or 'wow, what an amazing penis on that statue!'

There was a long and extremely uncomfortable pause before the door was unbarred and swung open. The woman inside was tall and gaunt, with greying hair and posture as straight as a spear.

She surveyed them for a moment, then stepped back and gestured them in. "Welcome," she said.

The team crowded inside gratefully. The door opened into what was clearly the main room of a farmhouse belonging to prosperous family. The room was spacious and floored with slates covered in rushes. The walls were heavy timbers caulked with hardened mud, undoubtedly proof against most attack. There was a heavy, well-crafted table with four chairs, and a fireplace big enough to roast a good-sized pig. A cauldron big enough to bathe in was hanging on a spit over the flames, a light swirl of steam rising out of it.

"Thank you for having us," Noburi said with a smile. He gestured to the pot. "What are you cooking?"

"My laundry," the woman said calmly. "I do have food if you're hungry, though. Smoked meat, cheese, bread, and some fruits. The bread is two days old, I'm afraid. Haven't had time to bake."

The words tickled Hazō's danger sense. "Oh?" he asked. "Something happening?"

She nodded. "Two days ago, m'husband and the boy went off to the city for to get some horses; a critter got into the barn and killed ours. Normally none of us would stir out for another month until the caravans come through, but without some beasts we aren't going to be able to get all the harvest in nor get it to market. I been minding the farm my own self since they left."

"The city in O'uzu?" Minami asked.

"Ain't no other cities 'round here," the woman said.

Minami blushed. "Uh, right. Okay. Well, we're here from Jiraiya, obviously. We brought this for you." She fished around in her backpack until she found the relevant scroll, then passed it over. "We are to ask if you have any messages to send with us, or if you need any short-term help. We're on a high priority mission so we can't spend a lot of time, but if there's something simple you need some ninja muscle for then we're glad to help out."

The woman eyed them up and down. "You really ninja?" she asked.

Akane cut a few handseals and murmured a phrase; blue chakra sparks leapt out from her hands and the room began to warm around them. "Yes," she said.

The farm wife's eyes had gone huge at the casual display of jutsu. "Could y'find m'husband, escort him the rest of the way?" she asked hopefully. "He and the boy are traveling in the wagon; it's real solid, probably keep the critters off. Be a lot safer with ninja, though. And the wagon's pretty likely to get stuck in the mud what with all this rain."

The team exchanged looks. "Is there a road?" Minami asked carefully. "We aren't trackers."

"I am."

Everyone turned to Kagome-sensei in surprise. The sealmaster fidgeted uncomfortably. "What? I lived in the woods for fifteen years, had to hunt my own food. Of course I know a little about tracking." He looked towards the heavily-shuttered windows. "Don't know that I could find anything in this mess, though."

"'Road' would be a bit much, but there's a track," the farm wife said. "The caravans use it. It's a little fuzzy but not too hard to follow. So, will you go?"

Minami hesitated.

"I'm sorry," she said at last, shaking her head. "We can't. We've been ordered to stay covert."

For just a moment the woman's face crumpled as hope vanished. It was barely a flash and then she was under control again, but that brief glimpse stabbed Hazō in the heart.

"Of course," their hostess said calmly. "Can't be turnin' aside from your mission to pull a wagon out of the mud." She stood and turned to the cabinet on the wall. "I'll get you some blankets. You can sleep in front of the fire."

XP AWARD: 8

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, July 20, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Velorien · Jul 20, 2017

Chapter 144: Through the Haze

Hazō watched the farm wife as she busied herself with making sleeping arrangements for the ninja who had demanded her spying services and then refused to protect her family.

Jiraiya's words echoed in his ears. "Ninja only kill to protect."

Hazō had done more than enough killing lately. When did the protecting begin?

"Captain Minami," he leaned over to speak quietly into Minami's ear, "I know it's your call in the end, but personally I don't think I'd feel comfortable imposing on her right now. Imagine how she must be feeling."

Minami looked at him. Then at the door, beyond which they could hear the heavens trying to murder the earth. Then at the farm wife, whose posture was just that little bit more stooped, more weary, than when they'd come in.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," she finally said, "but I'm afraid we can't take you up on your offer. It… wouldn't be secure."

"Is that right? Well, if you'd rather brave the rain, who'm I to stop you? You have a safe journey now."

"Thank you," Minami bowed. "Team, move out."

Outside, out of hearing of the house (though in this weather it didn't take much), Noburi turned on Minami with a put-upon look on his face.

"Is this really a good idea... Captain? We could be indoors and safe and warm right now, instead of having to set up camp in the middle of the night in this horrible rain and freezing cold and low visibility and everything."

"From an efficiency perspective," Keiko added, "setting out tomorrow in a well-rested state with whatever food our hostess can provide would only improve our travel speed."

"I'm not denying it," Minami said regretfully. "So let's have a show of hands. Who thinks they'd sleep well tonight in the home of some civilians whose lives we're choosing to put in danger for the sake of the mission?"

"I don't see what all the fuss is about in the first place," Kagome-sensei muttered. "So it's a bit of rain. When I was a kid, we'd bring out our dried loofahs on a day like this and call it a free wash."

After that, nobody felt able to raise their hands.

-o-

"Can I talk to you, Keiko?" Hazō asked, squatting down next to her bedroll.

"I have consistently failed to stop you in the past," Keiko said.

"Are you OK? After what happened with the ship, I mean?"

"Yes, Hazō, I'm fine. Unlike some members of this group, I have always been aware of the pointlessly cruel nature of the world we live in. It does not at all surprise me that ninja should be forced to instigate massacres in order to maintain a status quo they do not support."

The coolness in her voice made Hazō's insides tighten. There was something of the Mizukage in it, a remoteness that dehumanised people's suffering. It was something he could see now, with the expanded perspective earned through his travels. When you said that pain and death were necessary, when you accepted them as the background tone of life, you emptied them of meaning. If it rained, you adjusted your plans and moved on. If you missed breakfast, you adjusted your plans and moved on. If your comrades died on a mission, if a chakra beast decimated a village, if a war left a generation of children without parents, you adjusted your plans and moved on.

If you believed in a world where others' lives were too cheap to mourn, how could you find value in your own?

"You can't dismiss it that easily, Keiko," he insisted. "You've seen the same things I've seen. You've been to all the same villages, and you've seen how civilians live. Their lives are just as real as our lives, and they matter just like our lives matter. Even if this time the mission forced our hand, we can't stop caring about them, or about the things we believe in."

Keiko's expression grew fixed. She stayed silent for a few seconds, but whatever she was trying not to say to him finally forced its way out.

"Yes, I care, Hazō!" she hissed. "Is that what you wanted to hear? That I despise this inimical, lightless, relentlessly sadistic, soul-crushing world? That I despise myself even more for becoming an instrument of its perpetuation? That I have tasted anew the Mori curse of understanding fused with impotence? Well, here you are. You've heard it. Now leave me alone."

Hazō was staggered by the depth of venom in her voice… but also a little relieved. She hadn't given up. She hadn't stopped caring. They were still on the same side—not just as ninja, but as people who looked at the world with open eyes and refused to accept what they found.

"You're wrong," he said fiercely. "You're not impotent. We're not impotent. When we went to Iron, we prevented the deaths of dozens of ninja, and who knows how many civilians. When we went to Tea, we ended up overturning a conservative order that had lasted for centuries, and gave a whole ninja village a chance to prepare for the modern world. When we decided to take some time out to do research, we created a tool that stopped a world war before it could begin. Even when we messed up in Hot Springs, we ended up changing the fate of an entire country. Our team may have its flaws, but not being able to affect the world is not one of them."

Keiko frowned as she contemplated his words.

"Perhaps you are correct," she said thoughtfully. "If we continue at our current pace, it is not implausible that we will break the world sufficiently for something new to be made out of the pieces. However, I see no guarantee that it will not be even worse."

"I do," Hazō said. "We can learn from our mistakes. We can learn from the world's mistakes. We've got Jiraiya on our side, and even if he doesn't believe in the mission we've set ourselves, it's still in his interests to teach us about politics, and power, and not accidentally handing over neutral countries to our worst enemies. We've got Leaf on our side, to some extent at least, and they know more about creating peace and prosperity than anyone. There has never been a person or group in history with both our motivation and our odds of success."

Keiko rolled her eyes, not unaffectionately. "You keep doing this, Hazō. You say things that by all rights should defy common sense, that lack support from empirical data, or competent authorities, or any kind of developed theoretical basis. And yet somehow, you not only manage to continue on your improbable path, you sweep all of us up in your wake. You are dangerous in a way that has nothing to do with your technological imagination."

She gave him a look of resigned condemnation, like a librarian admonishing a noisy child who she knew would forget her words within the hour.

"Please feel free to continue drastically altering my destiny tomorrow. For now, I require sleep."

Hazō smiled.

"One more thing, Keiko?"

"Yes?"

He hesitated.

"Philosophy and snark aside, are you coping OK? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Keiko yawned.

"It is as I told you, Hazō. I have been aware from a young age that this is the kind of world I was born into. This is not to say that I am beyond anger, or despair, or self-loathing. Quite the reverse. I have learned to live with them, day by day, without any external assistance. If you would be of aid, look instead to those of our party who still have illusions to protect.

"Now begone, lest I decide to practice for life as a Nara by inflicting creative vengeance on those who disturb my rest."

-o-

The journey dragged on. The weather improved only slowly and with the utmost reluctance. However, Kagome-sensei's mockery spurred the rest of the team on to new heights of fake stoicism, and thus in turn to greater speed.

Thanks to Jiraiya's updated list, there were now two contacts to visit in Honey, and on opposite sides of the country at that. With a sigh, Minami made the call to split the team into two subgroups and visit both contacts simultaneously instead of travelling in a longer loop. Her decision received unanimous support, as by this point the entire team was sick and tired of the mission, and keen to get it over with as fast as possible. Not to mention, Hazō pointed out, the risks involved in repeatedly piling the entire team into one small area where a single exploding tag or other area attack could spell the end of them all.

Minami had promptly assigned Akane as head of the other subteam, with Kagome-sensei and Keiko as her subordinates. Hazō suspected that Minami's decision was at least partly motivated by the desire for a break from Kagome-sensei's alternating smugness and paranoia and Keiko's gloomy, self-absorbed silence.

Hazō was reluctant to be pulled away from Akane, but he had to admit that he, Noburi and Minami made for a much more relaxed, companionable team. They were able to chat idly as they scanned the surroundings for chakra monsters and potential ambushes (and potential ambushes by chakra monsters), with Noburi teasing Minami just enough to get her to drop the stern team leader façade and start closing the distance between them.

It seemed they weren't the only ones concerned about the possibility of chakra monsters, as their contact's farmhouse turned out to be an imposing construction of reinforced wood, with heavy shutters over the windows and a door that looked like it could keep out a chakra behemoth. Hazō's inner Kagome-sensei grudgingly awarded the place a "passable" rating, conditional on at least a few hundred defensive seals being deployed in the vicinity.

"They say every time the Mizukage smiles, a Mist ninja dies of a heart attack!" Minami called out Jiraiya's password.

"Then it's lucky Mist ninja don't have hearts," came the countersign.

Hazō made a note to enlist Mari-sensei in a scheme of petty revenge when he got back to Leaf.

The door opened with the familiar complaining creak of hinges that hadn't been oiled for days. On the other side was a plain-looking woman in a ratty black robe with voluminous sleeves, who studied the three sceptically before stepping back to let them in. Noburi, going last, barely made it across the threshold before she slammed the door shut and locked it.

It wasn't paranoia when entire villages could be wiped out by sudden chakra beast assaults.

"Welcome to my humble home, ninja," she said, waving them to come further inside. "Are you here with a message?"

Minami reached for the scroll in her pack, then paused.

"Where is everyone? We didn't see any sign of your family when we were approaching."

"Pfah!" The woman waved her hand dismissively. "Men. Never there when you need them, always there when you don't. You'll see them once the sun goes down, and you won't be impressed."

She stretched out her hand, and Minami placed the scroll in it.

The woman unfurled it briskly and ran her eyes over the text. "Hm."

With no further comment than that, she carefully tucked it into one of her sleeves.

"You must be hungry after your journey. You take a seat at the table over there, and I'll make sure you have your fill."

She guided the team to the benches surrounding the large central table before retreating towards the kitchen at the back.

She stopped halfway there, and turned back to face them.

"Oh, before I forget, I do have something of a… confidential nature. Which one of you's in charge?"

"That would be me," Minami said. "What can we do to help?"

"Oh, don't worry," the woman said, pulling a bottle out from another sleeve and taking a swig. "You don't have to do anything at all."

Then she brought her hands together.

"Water Element: Eternal Lullaby Technique!"

The three Leaf-nin jumped to their feet, but nothing seemed to happen, which in some ways was the most terrifying of all possible effects.

Hazō's blood turned cold as ice with realisation. What kind of ninja locked themselves in with a three-man team in a reinforced building where even exploding tags couldn't make an instant escape route?

A prepared jōnin.

Hazō forced his breath into evenness. He was already feeling slightly dizzy just from the enemy's killing intent, and that was unacceptable. So they didn't know her capabilities. She didn't know theirs either. She was already holding a kunai he hadn't seen her draw, but at least it wasn't a sword or a seal. If they could hold her off for just a little while, Noburi could use his mist drain, and even jōnin had no protection against that.

He hoped.

He started to move in, but Minami was way ahead of him. Her body was a sword in itself, cutting through the air with inhuman speed as she crossed the distance to the jōnin.

Her blade came down—

"Hōzuki's Mantle!"

Minami's attack fractionally slowed as it met the screen of water, by an amount so tiny that even Hazō's kinetic vision barely registered it.

In that sliver of a moment, the jōnin slid out of the way and thrust a kunai through her throat.

Hazō didn't understand what happened until Minami's disguise dispelled itself. Her sword clattered against the floor.

An agonising awareness of his own hubris washed over him. A prepared enemy. A prepared jōnin. She wouldn't have engaged them unless she knew she would win.

Hazō abandoned all thought of conventional combat. Even if Noburi could drain the jōnin dry in seconds, this was the woman who'd killed Minami in a single perfect cross-counter. She wouldn't give them that much time. If they were going to survive, he would have to get… creative.

He forced his brain to work through the growing haze. They needed defences. Something strong. Something fast to make. Something that didn't let her out of their sight.

Air domes.

Except no enemy would stand still and watch him plant and activate two separate seals.

"Noburi, you trigger them!" he yelled, affixing one seal to the floor next to his foot and practically diving across the room to set the other in place.

Noburi synchronised with his movements the way only a long-time teammate could, not one second wasted.

Before the jōnin had a chance to strike, a nigh-impenetrable dome of solid air sealed off the space around them. The eerily melodious trickle of Hōzuki's Mantle disappeared along with every other external sound.

Hazō and Noburi exchanged slightly manic grins of relief.

The jōnin, though, seemed completely unfazed. She walked slowly to the edge of the dome, glanced down at the seals, then tapped the dome experimentally with the point of her kunai.

Mercifully, nothing happened.

The relief was making Hazō even dizzier than before. For an instant, he thought the jōnin was using a clone technique, only to realise that he'd been seeing double.

Was this really normal? No, something was wrong. This wasn't relief. The jōnin had done something to him, maybe was still doing something to him. And he had no idea what.

He glanced at Noburi, who had put a hand out to lean against the inside of the dome.

"What's happening?"

Noburi shook his head as if to clear it. Then his eyes widened.

"Oh, shit," he said, slurring the word just a little. "Remember that bottle she drank from? Antidote. We're breathing poison gas."

Poison gas. He knew something about poison gas. Kagome-sensei had flipped out when he heard that Hazō hadn't… hadn't done something. No, hadn't made something.

Purifier seals.

And because he was Kagome-sensei, he'd immediately handed some out.

Hazō slapped down Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier and poured his chakra into it exactly as if his life depended on it.

He and Noburi thrust their faces into the stream of clean, untainted, close-enough-to air, and though Hazō's mind didn't get any less hazy, it at least stopped getting worse.

"Tunneller's Friend," Noburi said vaguely. "Can't run out of air."

How many did it take if you were standing still? One each? Two each?

Hazō put down ten.

There was still no sound when he looked back up.

Oh, right. Air domes blocked sound. He knew that.

But he could still see the jōnin. As he watched, she gave them a leisurely round of applause.

Then, with catlike grace, she stalked over to Minami's body, and dipped a finger in the pool of blood accumulating around her neck.

Hazō watched, entranced, as the jōnin's hand moved slowly across the wall.

When she was finished, she turned around and blew Hazō a kiss with that same bloodstained hand. Then she strolled past the air dome, running her hand along it as she passed so that a streak of Minami's blood seemed to follow her through the air like the red string of fate.

She pulled the door shut behind her as she left, but Hazō barely registered it. He was stuck watching the thin, capillary-like traces of blood already beginning to stream down from the jōnin's parting message.

NO ONE FUCKS WITH THE YAKUZA

-o-

You have received 5 XP.

-o-

The team meet the jōnin (if that is what she is). Do they notice anything amiss?
Minami: Awareness vs Jōnin: Deception
C-class failure
Hazō: Awareness vs Jōnin: Deception
C-class failure
Noburi: Awareness vs Jōnin: Deception
C-class failure

Combat begins.
TEGR rules are in force (the parts still under discussion are not relevant to this fight).

Round 0
Jōnin
Combat: Eternal Lullaby Technique
Quick: Draw a kunai

Everyone else is flat-footed and does not act.

Round 1
Minami takes an A-class wound from the Eternal Lullaby.
Hazō takes an A-class wound from the Eternal Lullaby.
Noburi takes an A-class wound from the Eternal Lullaby.

Initiative order (Awareness + TacMov):
1) Jōnin
2) Minami
3) Hazō
4) Noburi

Jōnin
Combat: Hōzuki's Mantle

Minami
Quick: Draw her sword
Move: Close to Melee with the jōnin
Combat: Melee Weapons attack
Minami: Melee Weapons ?d100 + ?d100 chakra boost, -3 dice A-class wound penalty, 0 MC bonus (Hōzuki's Mantle) vs Jōnin: Melee Weapons ?d100 +?d100 Hōzuki's Mantle
C-class failure for Minami. Jōnin deals lethal damage.

Hazō
Combat: Use as Quick, draw air dome seal pair
Quick: Put down first air dome seal
Move: Cross the room
Quick: Put down second air dome seal next to Noburi

Noburi
Quick: Activate seal
Move: Move to the other seal
Quick: Activate seal

Round 2
Hazō takes an A-class wound from the Eternal Lullaby.
Noburi takes an A-class wound from the Eternal Lullaby.

Initiative order:
1) Jōnin
2) Noburi
3) Hazō

Jōnin
Move: Walk to air dome
Quick: Test air dome

Noburi
Medical Knowledge 12d100 = 564 vs TN 400 = pass
Noburi recognises that the jōnin is using poison gas
Free: Noburi warns Hazō

Hazō
Quick: Draw Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier
Quick: Put down Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier
Combat: Use as Quick, activate Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier

Combat time ends.

-o-

What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 22nd of July, 9 am New York Time.

eaglejarl · Jul 23, 2017

Chapter 145: The Return Home

For at least a minute after the jōnin left, Hazō and Noburi simply knelt over Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier, gasping for breath. Never had a seal more lived up to its ridiculously pompous name.

"We need to get out of here," Noburi said, his voice shaky. "She might be hanging around waiting for the dome to fail."

Hazō nodded limply. It was hard to think with his brain still fuzzy from the toxin he'd inhaled. "Yeah."

Noburi waited for a moment, then poked him in the shoulder. "C'mon, Hazō, man up. Are you going to let a little bit of incredibly fast-acting and possibly lethal toxic gas keep you down, you big sissy?! Do the thing."

Hazō looked at him blearily. "Do what thing?"

"You know, the thing! The thing where you stare off into space for half a second and then have this detailed plan to solve whatever ridiculously complicated problem we're facing."

Hazō glared. "I do not have a thing."

Noburi glared right back. "Seriously? C'mon, man. I've seen you come up with complex battle plans for fighting disgusting zombie-making sealmistresses faster than I can sneeze. Hop to it! Do the thing."

"...You're just trying to piss me off to help me focus past the effects of the poison, aren't you?"

Insouciant grin. "Is it working?"

Hazō rolled his eyes. "Oddly, yes. Okay, priorities are to survive, escape, reunite with the others, and get done with this stupid mission before anyone else ends up dead."

"Yeah, and we better hurry up with the reuniting part," Noburi said, his grin disappearing. He reached out a hand, green medical chakra flaring from his fingertips as he hovered them over Hazō's chest. "Hold still. Poison isn't really my thing but I can check for physiological effects." His eyes fell closed as he concentrated. After a moment he spoke without opening his eyes. "Hard to believe that the yaks knew exactly where we'd be, so they've probably staked out a collection of agents throughout the area. The others might have been jumped as well."

Noburi, Medical Ninjutsu, 12d100: 489
Noburi, Medical Knowledge, 12d100: 533

Poison, TN: ?

"Maybe," Hazō said. "Or maybe the yaks just got lucky on this one, but let's assume the others are at risk too. Okay...okay, here's what we do. First, we secure the room." He set his hand on the floor and pushed tendrils of chakra through the wood as Jiraiya had taught him. They spread outwards like eager hounds, scampering under the Air Dome and over to the door. A sturdy wall of red granite leaped up, sealing off the door and the window.

"Think she's still out there?" Noburi asked nervously. The green light faded away and he opened his eyes. "I got nothing. You seem fine to me. Maybe the poison broke down already?" He shrugged. "Anyway—jōnin assassin, maybe still hanging around? Thoughts?"

Hazō shrugged. "Depends on her orders. She left that message, which suggests that she wanted some witnesses to carry the news. Maybe this is the end of it. Or maybe that was misdirection, or just to scare us. Might be she's setting charges on the outside of the building right now, planning to bury us and then wait for the dome to run out."

"I've got an idea. How about we don't let that happen?"

Hazō rolled his eyes. "You think? She's probably not, though. This place is solid, it would need a lot of tags to blow it down and she's probably not a student of Kagome-sensei."

Noburi snorted amusement. "Good thing we are," he said. "I say we reduce the entire building to an expanding fireball of destruction."

"I am totally on board with that, but just blasting a few holes is probably a better idea. No reason to burn up our entire supply of bang. Anyway, first thing we need to do is collect Captain Minami's body."

"You know I was only calling her 'Captain' to be polite, right? I won't say she was dumb as a brick, but she was definitely way too naïve for the job."

"Yeah, well, we still need to bring her body home so we can prove we didn't do this."

"How is 'hey, look at this dead body that was stabbed in the neck and I pinky-swear that we didn't do the stabbing' going to be proof? Why won't they just throw us back in the killbox for offing a loyal Leaf ninja?"

Hazō grit his teeth. "Noburi, we're trapped in a room full of poison gas, inside a locked building, with maybe a jōnin waiting outside to kill us. Could we please deal with those problems before worrying about what happens when we go home?"

"I'm just saying, being a missing-nin wasn't really that bad. No reason we couldn't go back to it."

"Could we please deal with those problems before worrying about what happens when we go home?" Hazō repeated.

"Yeah, sure. Sorry. Okay, poison gas first. How about we blink the Air Dome off long enough to toss some Purifiers out, let them work for a minute?"

"Better idea," Hazō said. "Make me some clones. We'll set up a smaller Air Dome with them between this one and the new one. The clones shut off the outer Air Dome, seal Minami's body, and walk around with the Purifiers. It'll clear the air faster. Then we blow three or four holes in the place and pop mist through all of them. We send pairs of clones henged to look like us out the other holes while we make a break for it."

"Got an even better idea," Noburi said with a grin, already forming handseals.

o-o-o-o

The bedrock of Kagome-sensei's life philosophy was that explosives could solve all problems, hence why he carried so many. The rest of Team Uplift was not entirely sold on the proposition, but they were willing to go as far as admitting that explosives could solve a lot of problems.

One problem that explosives were really good at solving was an inconvenient lack of exits. Twelve minutes after the ambush, the door of the farmhouse exploded off its hinges in a shower of splinters. Simultaneously, a similar blast blew holes in each of the other walls. Hazō and Noburi raced out the hole in the door at a dead run, obscuring mist spraying out around them as they went.

Hazō and Noburi raced out the hole in the east wall at a dead run, obscuring mist spraying out around them as they went.

Hazō and Noburi raced out the hole in the west wall at a dead run, obscuring mist spraying out around them as they went.

Hazō and Noburi raced out the hole in the south wall at a dead run, obscuring mist spraying out around them as they went.

Each pair made it to the treeline and kept going, more and more mist expanding around them as they went. In their wake the forest erupted in noise and motion as animals and birds fled from the fast-moving intruders.

Five minutes later, the forest denizens had still not calmed down when the real Hazō and Noburi emerged from the tattered building and snuck off into the woods.

o-o-o-o

Pandour appeared in a puff of violet smoke as Keiko finished the handseals of the Summoning Technique.

"Hello Pandour," said the Pangolin Summoner with a polite nod. She extended the scroll she was carrying. "I have an extensive report for you tonight. The Toad Summoner hasn't checked in yet, has he?"

Pandour looked unusual grave. "Actually, Summoner, he's waiting at the Embassy."

Keiko blinked. "What?"

"The Toad Summoner arrived at the Pangolin Embassy on the Seventh Path three hours ago and has been waiting for you to check in," Pandour repeated. "Shall we go?"

"But...yes, of course. One moment, please." She tucked the report back in her belt and turned to the rest of the team. "I should be back shortly. Since Jiraiya is there in person I'll take Minami's scroll now."

Wordlessly, Hazō held out the black-banded storage scroll containing Minami's dead body. Keiko took it with a nod and turned back to Pandour. The two of them vanished.

The Pangolin embassy was a massive burrow in the heart of Toad territory. The Pangolin were a surprisingly varied people, with some subraces that never topped the size of a tall human child and some that towered higher than a barn. Their architecture reflected this; Keiko felt dwarfed as she walked down the smoothly-sloped ramp to the meeting room where Jiraiya waited. Unlike many of the burrows in Pangolin terrority, this one was intended for use by other species as well and thus there were allowances made for the terrible senses and vision-dependence of said species. Lamps were nestled into wall sconces at intervals as she walked, casting enough light that she didn't need to worry about stumbling.

The conference room was immense, suitable for a dozen pangolin of Panjandrum's size. Jiraiya was a massive man with presence that normally dominated any room he was in, yet he was utterly lost in this cavernous, echoing space.

Keiko bowed respectfully as he waved her to the seat next to him at the conference table. "Reporting as ordered, Lord Hokage."

He smiled, seeming relieved. "Glad to see you in one piece. Is everyone okay?"

Silently, she placed the black-banded scroll on the table between them. "Min—Captain Minami is not," she said. "Everyone else is unhurt." She carefully looked at his face instead of at the scroll.

He looked at the scroll tiredly for long seconds, then scrubbed both hands across his face as though to physically force the fatigue and stress away. "Damnit." He sighed. "What happened?"

"The team is in Honey now," Kei said. "We had split into two subteams in order to make the deliveries more quickly. Captain Minami, Hazō, and Noburi were handling the eastern delivery, but the contact had been replaced by an enemy jōnin. She had the passwords, so the team went into her farmhouse and did not suspect anything when she locked the door behind them. She took the message, read it, then asked who the team leader was. When Captain Minami identified herself, the enemy drank from a bottle that Noburi estimates to have contained a poison antidote, then cast a Water Element: Eternal Lullaby jutsu. The jutsu appeared to do nothing but, in fact, it created a cloud of invisible poison gas. Captain Minami correctly recognized this as an ambush and attacked with her sword. The enemy used a Water Element: Hōzuki's Mantle technique to disrupt her attack, then delivered a lethal counterthrust with a kunai. Hazō and Noburi saw that they could not defeat this opponent, so they retreated under an Air Dome. It was at this point that Noburi realized they were being poisoned. They used Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier seals in conjuction with ten Tunneler's Friends in order to cleanse the air.

"The enemy briefly tested the dome, then used Captain Minami's blood to write 'Do not fuck with the yakuza' on the wall. She blew them a kiss, then left and locked the door behind herself, from the outside.

"Using appropriate precautions, Hazō and Noburi sealed Captain Minami's body and exfiltrated the area without encountering the enemy ninja or any other signficant threats. They met up with our team at the expected gathering point two hours ago."

Jiraiya was a spymaster; he could make his face tell any story he chose, and usually he chose to project strength and good humor. Kei decided to interpret it as a sign of trust that his face was loudly admitting just how tired he was. She decided to interpret it that way because the idea that he was actually so worn out that he couldn't hide it was simply too terrifying to consider.

"Well, looks like I'm a little late," Jiraiya said with a sigh. "I was here to warn you guys. My network in the eastern nations has been shredded, and it was only this morning that I figured out how bad it is. I don't know exactly what happened, but my guess is that Tanaka got tumbled. He was a central coordination point for Ise and a subcommander who managed a lot of the surrounding area. Apparently he'd gotten sloppy lately, or maybe he was playing some game of his own, building up information so he could sell me out in exchange for him and his daughter getting relocated somewhere. Whatever. Best guess is that somebody pulled him in and squeezed him, then used what they learned to roll up more of the network. All of my agents in Ise are gone, as well as most of the ones in Noodle and some from Nagi Island and Water Country."

He shook his head like a horse shaking off a fly. "The frustrating thing is that I'm sure the timing on this means something, but there's too many possibilities. It could be the yakuza looking for what happened to Goda. It could be Mist looking for their Kage and leaning on every intelligence asset they can find in order to see what everyone else knows. Worst of all, it could be that Akatsuki is moving into their endgame and so they're focusing on covering their tracks by tearing up spy networks. Sage knows that Itachi's eyes make him a nightmare as a counterintelligence operative and I'm sure some of the others are just as bad.

"Anyway, I'm still trying to find out how much else is compromised, but given what you say it looks like the problem goes at least as far as Honey." He grimaced in disbelief. "Can't believe I was so stupid. Before I got the hat I spent most of the last six months in Hot Springs, Iron, and some of the minor nations. I was looking into that 'Brotherhood of the Immortal Eight-Headed Serpent' and their Hydra Foundation that you guys pointed out, and also investigating some rumors about...important missing-nin. Looks like I should have been in the east instead—I could have recognized how badly rotted the infosec had gotten and fixed it." He met Keiko's eyes. "I'm sorry, Keiko. I thought I was sending your team on a milk run to buy me time for politicking. I never expected something like this."

Kei had no idea what to say to that.

Jiraiya took a deep breath and blew it out. "Anyway. Moving on. Forget the rest of the mission. Burn the message scrolls, get on your skywalkers and get home on the double. Hopefully Akatsuki went west after taking Naruto, because my network in the east can't be trusted until I've had the chance to vet it. Any questions or anything else to report before we wrap this up and I go back to the miseries of scrollwork?"

Kei shook her head. "Nothing signficant, sir. We delivered all messages on our itinerary up to and including Honey with no other incidents. Chakra beast activity has been roughly as expected. The weather has been unseasonably poor—torrential rains for over a week now—but that is the only unusual item."

Jiraiya frowned. "Odd. At this point I'm so paranoid that I'm wondering if Akatsuki have somehow developed the ability to control weather." He thought about it for a minute, then shook his head. "No. It sounds like it's been bad, but it's not unheard of for this time of year to have heavy rains in the eastern regions. I'm not dispatching agents to search thousands of square miles just because it's raining really hard. Come home with all speed, use skywalkers, maintain opsec. Go up as fast as you can, stay high enough that no one sees you and, unless absolutely necessary, don't go below cloud level until you're at Leaf. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

He nodded, his mantle of power and resolution once again in place so that it seemed the action of a commander acknowledging a respected soldier. "Travel safe, all of you. I don't have so many clan I can afford to waste them." He tucked Minami's death scroll into his jacket, made the handseal of unsummoning, and vanished from the Seventh Path.

With that, the matter was resolved. Kei had fulfilled her duty as per Leaf protocol (which she had long since memorized) and the rest was in Jiraiya's hands. There was no need for her to pay any further thought to the previous team leader. Rather, Kei decided, it would be much more efficient for her to begin plotting the team's route back to Leaf. After all, it would take hours to devise a suitably precise formula for estimating skywalker travel times...

o-o-o-o

It was the second day of the trip back to Leaf and Hazō was trying his best to feel intensely guilty. He was failing.

The team had been up before dawn and on the skyroad when the first light dawned. They had spent the day racing the sun to the horizon; the giant red orb was ahead of them, hanging low and fat on the edge of the world, but it wasn't fast enough. They would make it to Leaf before the final glimmers of light faded away. For two days they had set and kept a grueling pace; it should have been mind-numbing and frustrating. Instead, Hazō was amazed at how light and cheerful he felt, simply because they were above the clouds again. Being on the ground was thoroughly unpleasant. After knowing the freedom of three-dimensional movement, being forced to stay stuck to what he had come to think of as The Flat was like slogging chest-deep through mud: it was slow and gross and made it way too easy for things to ambush you.

He carefully pushed his thoughts away from the word 'ambush'. They were above the rain, basking in brilliant sunlight that struck the fluffy cloud layer below and shattered into a thousand rainbows. Granted, it was insanely cold and the wind was howling past so hard that he had to squint. He wouldn't have traded it for anything.

Back in Honey, Keiko, Akane, and Kagome had set up camp before he and Noburi arrived at the meeting point and told them about Minami's fate at the hands of the enemy jōnin. Keiko had gone off to the Seventh Path at sundown, shortly after they arrived. When she returned with Jiraiya's orders, the entire team had taken great delight in tearing the camp down, throwing it into their storage scrolls, and making a new camp above the disgusting, ugly, dirt-colored, vile, hateful, evil clouds that had been dumping massive vertical rivers of water on their heads for so long that Hazō was having trouble remembering what it was like to be dry. There, in their lovely and safe skyfort, they had built a massive bonfire and taken turns hurling the remaining missives into it before bedding down. After a few hours of the most restful sleep Hazō had had since this stupid mission started (barring a nightmare or two), they had taken off on a straight-line trip back to Leaf, reveling in the regained freedom from weather and threat of attack.

He really should be feeling guilty about this good mood. Minami was dead and it might have been due to the team's capture of Goda. Surely Hazō shouldn't be happy when his squad leader had just died? Shouldn't he be feeling miserable and gloomy?

Somehow, he just couldn't manage it. He was alive, dry, and he was running above fluffy white sculptures shaped by the hands of the kami themselves. Akane was beside him and the mission was over—no more jumping at shadows, no more slogging across mud, no more wondering if the next contact would be another ambush. Leaf was perhaps half an hour ahead and then it would be hot baths, soft beds, and the chance to see Mari-sensei again and have their family back together.

He smiled to himself at the thought and glanced around at the rest of the team. Noburi was on his left and Akane was on his right with Keiko on the far side. Kagome-sensei was a few yards above and behind them, keeping watch for anything that looked hostile. Or potentially hostile. Or like it might possibly think about maybe becoming hostile at some point in the future. The freedom of the skies meant that Kagome-sensei could use his beloved explosives with much less concern about friendly fire or noise discipline, and he'd been grumbling all day yesterday about the lack of opportunity. At one point it had gotten bad enough that Akane had quietly told him to go ahead and throw a few charges into the clouds just for fun. Said clouds might be white and fluffy from above, but they were periodically lit up with diffuse flickers of lightning and the low booming crash of thunder; a few explosive seals wouldn't be noticeable at all from the ground. Kagome had glowered at her and muttered about how it just wasn't the same, but he'd done it and seemed happier afterwards. Even Keiko had been amused.

He glanced side to side again, watching with amusement at the way they had all fallen into step without even thinking about it. Crazy, gloomy, overly cheerful, irritating...regardless of their quirks, this was his team. They were together, they were going home. Regardless of how he should be feeling, what he actually felt was happy.

XP AWARD: 8

This update covered two days and ends with you arriving back in Leaf. The plan was good—detailed, well thought out, creative, and easy to write for. Had you gone beyond the 'escape from the house' and offered some plans for what to do afterwards I would probably have made it a 4.5 or 5 XP/day plan.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, July 26, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Velorien · Jul 27, 2017

Chapter 146: The New Truth

"Welcome back, kids," Jiraiya nodded in greeting. "I'm glad you're safe."

The team bowed back, Akane deepest, Kagome shallowest.

Jiraiya glanced briefly at the closed door. "Now," he said seriously, "before anything else, I have something very important to tell you all.

"You aren't responsible for Minami's death. I am."

To Hazō's left, Akane blinked uncertainly. On the other side, Noburi frowned and tilted his head sideways a little, much the way Dr Yakushi had when trying to puzzle out Hazō's motivations in the aftermath of the Killbox Incident.

Next to him, Keiko went very, very still. And Kagome-sensei opened his mouth, and Hazō's survival instinct screamed at him that he was about to say something that would get them put under house arrest at best and thrown back in the killbox at worst.

Jiraiya didn't give him the chance.

"I should have remembered that the training Mari gave you was mostly survival—with a dash of social manipulation because that woman can't say 'Good morning' without trying to charm the pants off someone. I should have taken the time to drill you in basic OPSEC instead of sending you off half-cocked.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't blame you for the failure of the mission and the loss of a big chunk of my network. As your superior, I'm the one who should've made sure you were better prepared—and frankly, what kind of nationwide net falls to pieces just because one agent gets compromised? The Moyashi Clan must be laughing their heads off right now.

"That said, this is how things played out, and now there are consequences."

He looked at Akane.

"This next part is clan business. I'm letting you stay because you're going to be spending a lot of time with my clansmen, and keeping this secret from you would get real inconvenient real fast. Don't make me regret it."

"Yes, sir! I won't let you down, sir!"

Jiraiya gave a smile, but it vanished quickly.

"Here's how it is. The Hyūga have patron-client relationships with certain big-name craftsmen in the luxury goods sector. It's an important source of income for them, and a major source of economic influence.

"So naturally, we were going to steal it.

"Which is to say the Minami and I worked out a complicated scheme to hit the Hyūga clients with every tool in the box at once, and grab a massive share of the market from them before the Hyūga had time to get their headbands on. The Minami needed starting capital for that, and we couldn't afford to leave a paper trail for the Hyūga, so I gave them a huge sum of money as an unrecorded gift, which they'd repay out of the profits from their new investments.

"Then this happened. The Minami think I've betrayed them, pretty much for the reasons I just gave, and they've pulled out of the deal. As far as they're concerned, that gift is now blood money for their daughter getting killed through my and my clan's incompetence. And we're not getting it back.

"Which means, boys and girls, that we're royally screwed. We've just gone all in on that new compound, our coffers are about to get emptier than Uchiha Itachi's heart, and the Hokage doesn't get to knock on people's doors and ask for handouts. Even if I swallowed my pride and asked one of the other clans for a loan, there'd be enough strings attached to cocoon an Akimichi.

"I'll give you what recovery time I can. I know the last few weeks have been hard on you. They've been hard on everyone. But soon I'm going to need you to start taking on missions to make sure we stay afloat while I find a way to fix this.

"All right," Jiraiya said more lightly. "That's the bad news. Now for something completely different."

He gave a mischievous grin.

"Who wants to help me rewrite history?"

-o-

Yamanaka Neira's chambers were surprisingly simple for a clan elder, containing little but some carved wooden furniture adorned with embroidered cushions, wall hangings, and a large tabby cat whose ears briefly flicked towards the guests without otherwise breaking its deep sleep. With the exception of the cat, the dominant motif was of trees, dark green shapes curving against paler backgrounds. Unusually, there were no calligraphy scrolls.

"Welcome," she said in a gentle, smooth voice that went flawlessly with her greying hair and old-fashioned dress. Hazō had never known his grandparents, but he imagined that if they weren't twisted, hate-filled fossils who'd never known a moment's happiness in their worthless lives (quoth Kurosawa Hana), they would have been something like this.

"I am Yamanaka Neira. You may call me by my first name if it makes you feel more comfortable. I understand you were sent here by the Hokage?"

"That's right, ma'am," Hazō said. "He said he was calling in his favour for the White Man Incident."

Neira gave an affectionate chuckle. "Memory like a Tea Country stalkbeast, that man. So how can I help you two?"

Hazō realised he hadn't introduced himself, and she hadn't asked.

"My name is Hazō, and this is Kagome-sensei."

Kagome-sensei twitched, but otherwise continued not making eye contact and generally trying to pretend that Neira didn't exist, and nor did he. That meant it fell to Hazō to explain.

"Kagome-sensei's experiences have left it difficult for him to trust people, and it's been causing difficulties in his professional life," he grievously understated. "We were hoping you could provide him with therapy to help him work through his issues."

"Therapy?" Neira raised her eyebrows. "That's not a term I've heard before. I suppose you mean by analogy to muscle therapy, repairing damage and putting things back into alignment?"

She sounded sceptical. Were they about to get turned away?

"Jira—the Hokage said you were the best of the best."

Neira sighed. "I bet he says that to all the girls. Hazō, Kagome, I'm going to tell you what I tell the Uchiha: there is no such thing as a healthy mind. Nobody, not even a Yamanaka, can take what you are and twist it into shape until your flaws and weaknesses are gone, because there is no shape there to twist it into."

"I don't understand," Hazō admitted. "There are mentally healthy people and mentally unhealthy people, aren't there? And if you can find the source of a problem, surely you can fix it?"

Neira shook her head. "You're talking about people as if they were devices, like that printing press Shiro came up with. As if when a part breaks, you take it out and replace it, and the world is set to rights again.

"A person is more like a seal. A seal that you're drawing for the first time, without an original to copy and without knowing in advance what it's supposed to do. When you spot a mistake, you can't just erase the ink you've put down. Every line is forever. Instead, you add more ink, and maybe the new will balance the old, and maybe it won't. You won't know what happens until it's time to infuse the seal for real.

"And needless to say, with a person you can't throw away the old blank and start over."

Hazō frowned. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I followed all of that."

Neira gave a resigned smile. "Decades of studying broken minds, and I still haven't found a good metaphor. What I'm trying to say, Hazō, Kagome, is that every choice you make shapes who you are. You can never take back your choices, and you can't undo what you've become. You can move forwards, you can try to find a new direction that cancels out the one you were heading in before, but that's not the same as returning to a 'neutral state'. You haven't had one of those since you first started making choices as a baby."

"Then… you can't help us?"

Neira smiled again. "I can't fix you. It cannot be done. But I am an old woman who has seen many ninja go by, each flawed in their own unique ways, and I have noted where their choices took them.

"Kagome," she said, looking straight at the man who looked like he wanted to climb the walls to get away from her, "you have yet another choice to make. You can talk to me, and tell me how you came to be where you are, and together we can look for possibilities that you wouldn't be able to see on your own. Or you can leave this place, and seek your own answers. There is no way to know which, if either, will help you. But what you choose will shape who you are, like any other choice, and I think you already know how."

Kagome-sensei reluctantly dragged his stare off the back of the sofa, across the ceiling, down to Neira's chair, and finally stopped somewhere in the vicinity of her left ear.

"And you won't use any of your stinking Yamanaka mind tricks on me?"

Neira laughed. "If it were that easy, and that safe, to alter another's mind, I would be ruling, say, the Country of the Wave right now—they have the loveliest climate—instead of spending my retirement in Leaf training T&I specialists.

"No, Kagome, I won't use any of my stinking mind tricks on you without your consent, and maybe not even then. I have touched enough minds in my lifetime to know how that particular choice can shape you."

Kagome-sensei glared at her for what must have been close to a minute, without at any point meeting her eyes. Neira smiled peacefully the whole time.

"Fine," he finally said through gritted teeth. "For the good of the team. But if I think for one second that this is all an excuse for you to hypnotise me and brainwash me and steal my secrets and put lupchanzen in my ears…" His hand turned towards one of his seal pouches, and he visibly restrained himself.

Neira chuckled. "I can see we're going to have a whale of a time."

-o-

Sanada Ushio was not impressed with the Hokage at that particular moment. Didn't the man know he had an urgent order of footwear to fulfil? Why did the ninja never consider the interests of the little people when raising their taxes, or starting their wars, or summoning everyone in the village to their special assemblies?

Ushio had more important things on his plate. Last week, a Nara—a Nara!—had come into his humble shop with diagrams for "experimental footwear" and a bag of ryō that made Ushio's heart skip a beat. He'd even paid half in advance.

Didn't the Hokage understand? A Nara had come to him personally. If Ushio could make this order perfect, if he could impress them with his skill and punctuality, he might become an Exclusive Supplier to a Noble Clan. If he played his cards right, he could be the first Sanada in history to sit on the Merchant Council, and with Sanada Sandals only two generations old! What could the Hokage possibly have to say that was more important than that?

"Come along, dear. You don't want to miss the speech."

Reluctantly, Ushio obeyed his wife and trudged to the Hokage Plaza.

"People of Leaf!" A figure in radiant white addressed them from the roof of the Hokage Tower, arms open as if to embrace the whole village. "I have called you here today to reveal to you all a great secret once known only to a tiny elite!"

All right, maybe Ushio could stay and listen for a bit.

"I shall tell you a story that I myself would not believe had I not lived through it. A story of courage, loyalty and heroism in the face of unimaginable danger. A story to inspire us all.

"Several years ago, a miracle took place within the Elemental Nations. The Will of Fire spontaneously awakened in the last place anybody would expect—the Village Hidden in the Mist."

Ushio restrained himself from joining in on the sceptical muttering, mostly because he didn't want Rin to slap him for being rude to the Hokage. The Will of Fire? In Mist? Maybe the Mist-nin had learned to fly while they were at it?

"I see your disbelief, but it is true! A handful of ninja opened their eyes to the ideals of peace and justice that lie at the root of Leaf's philosophy, and stood up against the Mizukage's tyrannical warmongering. But though they sought to turn Mist away from its path of destruction—a destruction that we have all now seen visited upon it—the Mizukage would not listen to their warnings. Some paid a terrible price for preaching wisdom.

"And so, after every attempt to curb the Mizukage's belligerence had failed, these enlightened ninja did the only thing they could. A courageous jōnin who called himself Shikigami led an exodus from Mist into the Fire Country, where he and his followers intended to pledge allegiance to Leaf and help us prevent a terrible war.

"But the Mizukage's hatred knew no bounds. He dispatched his hunter-nin, famed for their mercilessness and brutality, and though the valiant ninja fought with every drop of their strength, they were slaughtered mere hours before Leaf forces could come to rescue them. It seemed as if it was the end of our hopes for peace."

The story, conveyed by the rich timbre of the new Hokage's storyteller voice, began to spin inside Ushio's head. How could anyone be so brave as to defy the Monster of the East to his face? What must it have been like to realise that your village was a hellhole, and your worst enemies had been right all along? And then to have the courage to act on your beliefs, only to die moments from safety? It was too cruel, and in a way that was what told Ushio that the story was true.

"But that was not the end!" The Hokage boomed into the mournful silence. "Shikigami's right-hand woman, the strongest kunoichi in Mist, was skilled enough to save herself, but instead she put her life on the line to save four innocents who would otherwise have perished. With unmatched cunning she played the hunter-nin for fools, and deceived them into thinking that no one had escaped their massacre.

"Afterwards, the five survivors approached me, and I told them that Leaf would welcome them with open arms, for we turn away no one in whose heart burns the Will of Fire. I was ready to bring them through the Gates of Peace… but they said no."

There was a collective gasp. Ushio himself couldn't believe his ears. After all that they'd been through, why would they say no?!

"They told me," the Hokage's voice sounded a tiny bit choked, "they told me that they could better serve Leaf by working from the shadows, so that the Mizukage could never find out that they were alive and his secrets had been revealed to us. For the greater good of us all, they chose to give up their safety and the recognition they deserved. Guided by a solitary Leaf operative, they accomplished mission after mission to bring us new resources and defeat our enemies.

"But now their self-imposed exile is over! The Mizukage has fallen, and his forces are broken, thanks to the righteous might of Leaf and the intelligence these five brought us. The time has come for Leaf to meet its heroes."

The Hokage gestured, and one by one, a row of figures came to join him at the railing.

"Mari, the mighty warrior and mistress of cunning who led the team through impossible danger in the name of Leaf's peace and prosperity."

The red-haired woman was tiny, shorter even than Ushio's mother, but she carried herself with an amazing mixture of dignity and humility that made her seem as tall as the Hokage. Ushio wondered if she'd been part of a noble clan back in Mist.

"Hazō, an ingenious young sealcrafter whose designs are already impressing our experts."

The black-haired boy, improbably young to have gone through all the terrible things the Hokage had mentioned, seemed to be scanning the crowd thoughtfully. Doubtless, his brain capable of understanding the arcane mysteries of ninja seals had already analysed everything about the people in front of him. Had he noticed Ushio? What would he think?

"Noburi, a prodigy in the secret arts of Mist ninjutsu."

Well, that explained why the stout boy was carrying a barrel of all things. Actually, Ushio reflected, it didn't explain it in the least, but Ushio's aunt had married a ninja when he was little, and by now he knew that ninjutsu masters could do absolutely anything and it didn't have to make sense.

"Keiko, a kunoichi so brilliant the Nara want her for their own."

The girl didn't seem to be looking at the crowd at all, but staring into the distance as if solving great problems in her mind. Or perhaps she was just shy, Ushio thought wryly. He certainly wouldn't want thousands of people staring at him all at once like this.

"And finally, Kagome, the man who endured the very worst of Mist's torture chambers for his beliefs, and still had the strength and the conviction to defy the Mizukage in order to do what was right."

A man named Kagome? And as his first name, even? Boy, they really did things differently in Mist. The man himself, lanky and unkempt, kept turning his head warily, as if expecting those vicious hunter-nin to attack him at any moment. And no wonder—they said torture did terrible, terrible things to people, and it spoke of Kagome's incredible mental fortitude that he was still sane at all.

The Hokage raised his voice. "In recognition of the Will of Fire burning so brightly within these five, I, Jiraiya of the Three, the Fifth Hokage, am giving them the greatest reward it is in my power to grant. I hereby announce the formation of the Gōketsu Clan, with myself as its head, and take Mari for my wife, Hazō, Noburi and Keiko for my children, and Kagome for my cousin!"

The crowd was in an uproar. Ushio himself didn't know what to think. A new clan? Was that even allowed? No, of course it was allowed. The Hokage couldn't break the law—he was the law. And besides, there were almost as many tragedies about Jiraiya of the Three as there were comedies. He was the legendary champion who had never known his parents, who had outlived his student, who had been betrayed by his best friend and rejected by the love of his life. After losing his master as well, who could begrudge him the chance to start a new family, especially with these shinobi who had sacrificed their old lives in order to become part of Leaf?

And what legends would this new clan of heroes forge? Ushio felt himself present at the making of history, a moment when the fate of the world turned in a new direction.

He wondered if the Gōketsu Clan would need sandals.

-o-

You have earned 13 XP.

-o-

Gōketsu (豪傑)

A person with guts, excelling in wit and valour far beyond ordinary people.
A bold-spirited person who does not concern himself with trivial things. Alternatively, an eccentric person.

Related:
Gōketsu warai (豪傑笑い) A loud, boisterous laugh
Jiraiya Gōketsu Monogatari (児雷也豪傑物語) The Tale of the Gallant Jiraiya

-o-

This update has covered three days. Where not otherwise specified, you have been following Mari's explicit instructions to relax and not think about heavy things unless you feel a definite desire to. As far as Leaf medicine can tell, you have made a full recovery from the poison.

Training plans for everyone but Noburi have been implemented despite the short update period. Mari has helped you refine the insights you gained from extensive skywalker use into something more generally applicable.

-o-

The four genin have been following Mari's instructions in their own ways. For Keiko, this has meant being busy every single second of every single day until she falls asleep from exhaustion. On the plus side, this means she's finally figured out Pangolin's Reach (see next post).

-o-

What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 29th of July, 9 am New York Time.

eaglejarl · Jul 30, 2017

Chapter 147: Money Like Water

October 1

Hazō reached for the vegetable platter as he casually opened with, "So, I was thinking about the money situation."

"Did you just feel a shiver down your spine?" Jiraiya asked Mari-sensei. "Because I felt a shiver down my spine."

"It must be the wind, dear," the redhead said demurely. "Need to finish getting this place patched up, it's drafty."

It was true. The totally-not-haunted-honest (as the seller had described it with a nervous smile) compound had once been an elegant rival to any in Leaf, but years of time and neglect had not been kind. The elegant manor house in the center was dilapidated at best, and some of the outbuildings had so many holes that it was possible to see through them. Without the constant upkeep necessary to keep land civilized, the spacious grounds had reverted to a two-thirds wild state as chakra-enhanced bushes and trees grew up and chakra varmints moved in. The result was no serious threat to ninja and was not really all that reminiscent of the Swamp, but it did occasionally give Hazō a pang of unwelcome memory.

"Very funny," Hazō said, serving himself some of tonight's vegetable dish. It was a local dish with rice, three different kinds of beans, and a delicate seasoning that even Kagome-sensei grudgingly admitted was tasty. "Seriously, though. You were telling us that the clan is broke and we need to find ways to make money. Missions are great, but I can think of some more effective solutions."

Jiraiya rubbed his head for a moment, then knocked back his sake and refilled his cup. "Let me guess: you want to use MEW—funny name, by the way—to make granite and sell it to a construction company?"

"I thought of that one, yeah. Some others that might be more efficient, though. In Hot Springs ice was a really valuable thing; it's probably not quite as much here but I imagine it's still valuable. Akane can use her Elemental Mastery jutsu to make as much ice as she wants. And, before you ask Noburi, yes, I asked her if it was okay if I mentioned the jutsu to Jiraiya."

Noburi gaped in exaggerated shock, jaw hanging open.

Jiraiya snorted, Mari-sensei smiled, and Hazō shook his fist mock-threateningly at his friend before turning to the world's best current girlfriend and former student. "Honey, you aren't technically part of the clan—"

"Yet," murmured Mari-sensei as she took a delicate nibble on a kebab. Hazō manfully ignored her but was unable to restrain his blush.

"—aren't technically part of the clan, so you certainly don't have any obligation to do this, and you could just do it on your own. Still, I think we'd both make more money if you went in with us. The Hokage's contacts and connections could go a long way towards getting you the best prices and outlets. If you'd be willing to split the profits it could be really worthwhile.

"Anyway, that was just my first thought. Other things that might be good would be using MEW to make stone buildings or walls, selling seals—storage scrolls and explosives are useful for lots of things, and I have some ideas about making civilian-usable versions. We could take commissions to research seals that people want, or—"

"Let me stop you right there," Jiraiya said. "Those are all great ideas and would make us a fortune if we could do them. They would also be a lot easier and safer than taking ninja missions. So, ask yourself: Why hasn't some other ninja with the same or equivalent jutsu done those things already? For that matter, why are there ninja and ninja missions at all? Why isn't everyone who knows how to use chakra sitting at home in the lap of luxury?"

"Uh...."

"The world is a dangerous place that desires only death," Keiko said. "There must be ninja to hold back the chakra beasts, to patrol the borders, and to defend the nation against incursions by its enemies."

"All true," said Jiraiya with a nod. "A little gloomy, but true. Still, Leaf has a wall around it sufficient to keep out most of the larger chakra beasts, thirty thousand civilians to serve as a militia that can keep the land mostly clear, and fifteen hundred ninja who can handle anything the militia can't. Patrolling the nation and defending the other population centers is time-consuming, but not that time-consuming. Ninja typically have enough downtime to do some work on the side for extra money if they want. Most ninja are comfortable but not fabulously wealthy, and some are on the edge of poor. How can that be if it's easy to use ninja skills to make money?"

The former Mist genin looked at each other to see if anyone else had a clue and were met with equally blank stares.

"Akane, care to enlighten them?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yes, sir." She turned to Hazō with a smile that hovered somewhere between amused at the world and disappointed in its behavior. "The reason that not all ninja are wealthy, and the reason that your plans won't be as easy as you hope, is that the Merchant Council is extremely slow to grant licenses for use of ninja skills in business."

Hazō looked at her for a moment, running the words back through his mind to see if perhaps they had some other meaning that he'd missed.

"Think about it," said Mari-sensei. "The merchants of Leaf are civilians. Ninja are faster and stronger than any civilian, and we have the advantages of jutsu, seals, and being able to travel safely and quickly in the wilderness. All else being equal, a ninja with half a brain could outcompete a civilian. What it takes an entire crew of masons weeks to build, you can create in seconds with one jutsu. The civilians aren't stupid and they don't want to be poverty-stricken beggars, so they found a way to fight back: they worked together."

"The law is that no ninja skills or equipment may be used for purposes of commerce except with a license from the Merchant Council," Jiraiya said. "That means no one can pay you to create walls for them with MEW, Keiko can't have pangolins roll around a field to plow it, Kagome can't sell seals—"

"I'm not selling seals to any stinking Leaf stinker! Why would I sell seals to stinking Leaf stinkers?! That would be crazy! If—"

"Kagome," Mari-sensei said calmly, "you are now a 'stinking Leaf stinker'. Remember? This whole city is now part of our team."

"Not my team," Kagome-sensei grumbled, shoveling rice and beans into his mouth and glaring around so intently that he failed to notice some of the rice dribbling out.

"Moving on," said the ruler of the most powerful ninja village in the world, "the civilians clubbed up and made some rules. There would be a Merchant Council which, among other things, would sell licenses for use of ninja skills and equipment in trade. Any ninja who trades without a license triggers an embargo against all ninja. During an embargo, no one sells to ninja and no one buys from ninja. Period. Ninja wouldn't even be able to buy food."

"That's crazy," Hazō protested. "And so what? We lived on our own for a year. It's not that hard to hunt your own food. And we could always henge as a civilian and buy whatever we need that way."

"Sure," Mari-sensei said. "The ninja can get by if they really need to. They can provide a lot of their own needs, they can use henge to disguise the fact that they're ninja while buying things, and they can travel to other towns, or even other countries, to buy anything that they can't manage to get here. It's possible, but it's wildly inconvenient. Look around you—this house needs a huge amount of work done. I don't know how to fix a roof, do you?"

"No...."

"Okay, well, ultimately we're going to hire a bunch of skilled builders and construction workers to come in and fix it. During an embargo we couldn't do that. We could hire a crew from outside the village, but then we'd have to escort them back here and handle their upkeep for the duration of the project. We'd have to supply all their food and raw materials, since no one would be willing to sell to them as soon as it became known that they were working for us. They'd be ostracized by all the other civilians. Someone might even go so far as to hire other ninja to assassinate them."

"I thought that during an embargo no one would hire ninja?" Hazō asked, feeling somewhat desperate.

Mari-sensei shrugged. "Their embargo, their rules. Think about it—imagine that we suddenly found ourselves unable to buy food or hire tradesmen because of something some idiot Hyūga had done. Then the Merchant Council comes to us and says 'hey, if you kill these construction workers that the Hyūga hired then we'll pay you standard mission rates, plus two weeks of food.' It would seem pretty tempting, right?"

"Why wouldn't the ninja just steal what they need, or kill anyone who refused them service?" Noburi asked. "I mean, I don't mean to sound evil but...civilians can't really back up their threats, right?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "That only goes so far. Ultimately, a functioning economy depends on voluntary participation. We could enslave the populace, sure. Rule by fear and threat of death—it can be done and has been done. Not very practical, though. For one thing, civilians need to travel in order to acquire goods and raw materials. If we made things bad enough they just wouldn't come back."

Hazō frowned. "I thought every caravan needed to hire ninja for security? They could force the civilians to come back."

"Sure, but the number of civilians in a caravan is always way higher than the number of ninja guards. How is one ninja going to keep an eye on a dozen people, or two dozen, in order to prevent any of them from slipping away? Or maybe ninja take over all the outside-the-village trade, bring in the supplies ourselves. That's a lot of ninja time dedicated to stuff that they probably find very boring, and those ninja aren't available to defend the village or keep an eye on civilians and force them to work. And it puts all the traders out of work, so what do we do with them—find them another job that they don't want? Let them starve? Of course, trade isn't a simple matter of 'go to point A, put stuff in scroll, come back.' It's a skilled job—you need to bargain, recognize quality materials and shoddy goods, identify opportunities, and so on. Most ninja don't have those skills, so they either need to become merchants themselves or they get taken to the cleaners and money drains away from Leaf. Who teaches them those skills if all the civilians refuse to work with us?

"Then there's the fact that a slave economy just isn't as productive as a voluntary one. Yes, I could go into the village, round up a bunch of builders, and force them to fix this house because if they didn't then I'd kill them. They'd do a shitty job, and I don't know enough about construction to be able to recognize the problems. I could force the ramen shop to give me lunch, as long as I didn't mind getting overcooked noodles, too much salt, and a healthy dose of snot. I could go to the cobbler and demand new shoes on pain of death, but all I'd hear was 'oh, so sorry Lord Hokage, I don't have anything in your size and it will take me at least a week to make them. I'm so very sorry, please forgive my ineptness.' And when I finally got them the work would be crap and they'd fall apart in a few months.

"That's why Mist has been slowly shrinking for decades. They lack the Will of Fire."

Kagome snorted.

"The Will of Fire isn't a joke, Kagome," Jiraiya said. "It isn't a clouds-and-sunshine fantasy that is lovely in theory and impossible in the real world. It isn't a nice-to-have that can be set aside when it becomes inconvenient. It is the true source of Leaf's power, of the Land of Fire's power. We are the richest and strongest nation in the world because we grip tight to the idea that everyone should be treated fairly, that both ninja and civilian should be honorable, that everyone in this nation is family and we must work together. The civilians are the beating heart of our nation, the source of its wealth and its knowledge. The ninja are the shield held over that heart, the thin black line that keeps the nation safe. We serve with honor and the nation returns that honor. Slaughtering civilians because they refuse our trade? That is not the Will of Fire."

Jiraiya stopped talking and Hazō blinked eyes that he only now realized had been wide and staring throughout the speech. That vision...that was what he wanted for everyone. The vision of unity and peace, the image of a society's web connecting everyone into something greater than themselves...it was the essence of the uplift concept that he had been imagining ever since the team's forced travels had begun.

Jiraiya's face crumpled just slightly and there was a trace of water in his eyes. "It's funny," he said, swallowing convulsively. "Sensei gave me that speech when I first became his student, and plenty more times over the years. He always said it better, though." He scrubbed at his eyes for a moment. "And I never really, truly understood it until I had to put on his hat."

Mari-sensei lay a hand gently on her husband's arm; everyone else was silent. Even Kagome-sensei stopped eating to watch the Sannin uncomfortably.

Jiraiya smiled softly at Mari-sensei and patted her hand. Then he spread his arms dramatically, hoisting his sake cup with a bold grin. "To you, Sensei!" he called up to the ceiling. "To Sarutobi Hiruzen, a pontificating old man with a stinky pipe and a hat that looks like an upside-down wok! You've had your rest, now get your butt back here or I'll drink all your sake!" He paused expectantly, then shrugged. "More for me, I guess." He slammed the sake cup back and set it down with an exaggerated sigh of contentment, wiping his mouth dramatically with the back of his arm.

"He was a good man," Kagome-sensei said suddenly.

Jiraiya looked at him in surprise. "Hm?"

"Sarutobi. Good man," Kagome-sensei repeated. "Everyone says so."

Jiraiya nodded with a smile. "Yes, he was. I wish he were here to deal with this mess. He always made it look easy." He chuckled, the sound a little forced. "But, he's not, so I guess I'm stuck with it. Anyway, back to the original topic: Hazō, those are good ideas and we should apply to the Merchant Council to get licenses, but that will take months. Maybe I can use some subtle pressure from the Tower to move it along, but the Council quite reasonably gets very twitchy about that sort of thing. In the meantime, we'll need to find more approved ways."

Hazō frowned in thought. "Civilians hire ninja missions all the time though, right? And what about D-rank missions—they hire us for babysitting and cleanup duty and things like that. We use ninja skills for those. Back in Mist there was this one woman who kept hiring my squad to babysit her three-year-old. Brattiest kid you've ever seen, but he loved watching clones walk through tables. We would take turns making clones to keep him entertained."

Jiraiya shrugged. "First off, Mist does a lot of things differently than we do. Second, it's complicated. The basic principle is that ninja must compete with civilians on an even footing. The Yamanaka can run their flower shop, but they can't use jutsu to make the flowers grow better or whatever. Similarly, the Akimichi can have their restaurant, but they can't just send a couple of clan kids out with a storage scroll to pick up the produce from the farmers. There's decades of precedent about what's allowed and disallowed, and frankly it's a mess. A lot of it is inconsistent or even self-contradictory, but there are some reliable carve-outs and D-ranks are one of them. Academy students and new graduates can be hired for menial tasks with little economic value and they're free to use whatever skills or equipment they have. The fee is very low and sometimes even subsidized—the civilians get their fences painted for cheap and our students get some practice at teammwork, creativity, and so on.

"The thing to remember is that no one, especially not the Merchant's Council, wants to call an embargo. It won't happen unless someone actually raises a formal protest and then the Council will probably work with the Hokage to try to sort things out peacefully. The embargo can generally be avoided as long as the ninja in question is severely punished and the merchant who was hurt is made whole.

"There's lots of cheating, of course. I'd be amazed if there was no use of jutsu in the kitchens of the Akimichi restaurant, but everyone looks the other way as long as they keep it under wraps and don't put any civilian restaurants out of business. The civilians cheat too—every couple of months you get someone coming before the Council with a complaint about how some ninja used sneaky ninja magic to run him out of business or ruin his supplies, or whatever. The Council and the Hokage's office investigate and, as long as everyone agrees that it's all aboveboard then there's no problem. I've been on one or two of those investigations, and they are a nightmare. You have to be cleaner than the Sage's conscience and more open than a harlot's kni—than an open door, because any hint of favoritism is going to make it look like the accuser was right. Ultimately, it's not the truth that matters but the opinions of the people on the Merchant Council. The accusation might be nothing but spite and hot air, but if the Council believe that you're covering something up then they might just cut the cord."

"Has there ever actually been an embargo?" Keiko asked, head cocked in curiosity.

Jiraiya nodded. "There was one a few years ago in Sand, actually. It didn't last long and it wasn't pleasant, but it demonstrated the seriousness of the issue."

"Wait, this cockamamie idea isn't just Leaf?" Noburi asked.

Jiraiya laughed. "No, not just us. It started here—Leaf's Merchant Council formed not too long after Senju Hashirama founded the village. The idea spread through the Elemental Nations pretty quickly. It's not practiced everywhere—there were some places where the leaders were dumb enough to say 'that's adorable but we're just going to kill you if you try this' and then were crazy enough to keep piling up bodies until the civilians fell in line." He frowned, reaching back into memory. "I was out of town when all that went down and I don't actually remember what impact it had here. I know that our Merchant Council didn't trigger an embargo just because Sand's had, but I think at least some of our merchants refused to do business with Sand ninja until the embargo was settled. Anyway, a lot of dust got kicked up and when it was all over there was a dead ninja in Sand and business was happening again." The corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement. "The official report is actually pretty funny, in a dark-humor sort of way. The Kazekage couldn't admit that one of his people had done anything wrong or that he'd backed down to a bunch of civilians, but the Council wasn't going to accept being made to look like they had hurt the livelihoods of so many people over a mistake. They had to spin things pretty hard to find a story that left everyone looking good." He shrugged. "Anyway, enough of that depressing stuff. I'm tired of thinking about Hokage stuff, so tell me something fun. How are you guys settling in after the big announcement?"

o-o-o-o

"Eeeeeeeeee!"

Hazō and Noburi were back-to-back, clawed gauntlets on hands and Water Whip formed, before the chakra harpy's attack screech had barely started. They pivoted as a single unit, shoulders pressed tight into oaken barrel staves, movements etched into their very bones from long experience at wilderness survival. Noburi's eyes were up, desperately seeking his target while Hazō guarded against ground assault by the bird's symbiotic— There! The gauntlet came around in a practiced swipe, top-right to bottom-left, claws fully extended. It would shred the leaper's face and smash it into the ground in position to be punted into the packmates that would surely follow, setting him up to—

Hazō stumbled, twisting awkwardly around in a move that the Iron Nerve had never seen before as he desperately tried to abort his swing. The little girl, completely oblivious to how close she had come to death, flung herself under Hazō's arm and glomped on to Noburi's leg like a limpet.

"Miyoko!" the girl's mother cried, running forward with hands outstretched. "Please, don't hurt her! Please, I'm sorry!"

Noburi looked down at the tiny child hugging his leg. He looked at Hazō. He looked at the child.

"You're Gōketsu Noburi!" the toddler said, smiling rainbows and sunbeams at him. "Lord 'kage said you left the Bad Place 'cause you're so full of the Will of Fire! You're my favorite ninja after Lord 'kage!"

"Please, I'm very sorry," the mother said, bowing frantically. Her face was sheet-white and her hands were half-outstretched, wanting to pull her child away but desperate not to seem threatening. "I'm sorry, she got away from me in the crowd. Please forgive my clumsiness. Please, I'm very sorry. She didn't mean anything, don't hurt her."

Noburi looked at the woman for a moment, utterly dumbfounded. Finally he shook it off, allowing his Water Whip to dissolve as he pried the girl off his leg and hoisted her up into the air. She came up with a gleeful shriek and reached out for him again, but he turned her around and deposited her in her mother's trembling arms. The woman shrank back slightly as he did, clutching the child tight to her chest.

"No harm done, ma'am," Noburi said, smiling a smile that shrieked falsehood to Hazō's trained eyes but apparently passed muster for the civilian woman. "I'm Gōketsu Noburi, as she said. This is my...brother, Hazō. Nice to meet you."

o-o-o-o

"It's been fine," Noburi said with a casual shrug. "Nice folks."

Jiraiya smiled. "Great! So, no problems, then?"

"...No?"

"Hm. Well, how about the rest of you? Are you adjusting okay? Do you need anyone to take you around, introduce you to people?"

o-o-o-o

One of the things that Kei liked best about the library was that it was quiet. Anyone making noise risked the wrath of Auntie, and bold was the person who dared reach into that fire. Unfortunately, the fierce old woman wasn't on duty today. Her replacement was an idiot, too stammering-stupid at being in the presence of the Hokage's daughter to provide useful information like where to find the data on trade between Leaf and Hot Springs from fourteen years ago. Kei had waited with outward stoicism as the woman scrambled through the index books that were kept at the information desk while simultaneously keeping up a steady stream of social babble that Keiko couldn't force herself to listen to no matter how hard she tried.

Speaking of babbling, there was a crowd of teenage males lurking about and whispering to each other. Periodically they would glance over at her where she stood by the desk. Each time they did, the whispering would intensify for a moment, only to be followed by a nervous laugh that felt like claws on the blackboard of her soul.

Eventually Kei couldn't stand it anymore. "Do not worry," she said to the fluttering incompetent at the desk, keeping her tone steady with what she felt was Sage-like patience. "I believe I know where to start." She turned and headed off into the stacks. In truth, she had only a vague idea of where to find what she needed but she simply could not put up with the woman's idiocy for another second.

The pack of males stood up as she moved and trailed along behind her, two of their number leading. She ignored them and started going systematically along one likely shelf of old, leather-bound volumes, making it very clear that she was involved in what she was doing and would prefer not to be disturbed. The pair in the lead didn't take the hint.

"Hi," said the taller of the two, leaning against the shelf with what he probably thought was cool insouciance. "I'm Yamamoto Dai."

She plucked a volume off the shelf more or less at random and pointedly flipped it open. "And I am busy."

His friend laughed and Yamamoto blinked. "Hey, c'mon, I'm just trying to be nice. I haven't seen you in here before."

She glanced at him for a moment, then turned back to her book. "True."

Yamamoto was starting to get angry. He straightened up; he must have hit his growth spurt recently because he was a full head taller than she was despite being around her own age. "You don't have to be rude, okay? I just wanted to say hi, that's all."

Keiko turned her body to face him and looked straight into his eyes.

"You are bothering me."

Yamamoto and his hangers-on recoiled in shock before turning and scrambling away. Kei watched them go for a moment, then went back to her book.

o-o-o-o

"An escort might be nice," Keiko said calmly. "Although I do not feel the need to be introduced."

Hazō stifled a wince at the tone. No one who hadn't lived beside her for eighteen months would have heard anything in Keiko's words except a calm statement, but to Hazō's ears they might have been a shout of barely-suppressed frustration.

"Oh?" Jiraiya asked, head cocked in polite curiosity. "So, you're not having any trouble meeting people?"

"No."

"You sure? There's a lot of boys your age in Leaf who I'm sure would like to get to know you. Who knows, maybe you'd do well with some social contacts your own age."

Keiko delicately set her chopsticks down on the ivory rest provided for the purpose. She bowed to the group and even offered a polite smile. "My social contacts have been adequate. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm quite full and I have some trade data that I would like to finish analyzing. Dinner was delicious; please thank the chefs for me, Lord Hokage." She pushed herself to her feet, bowed again, and vanished.

Jiraiya sighed.

"I told you you should have asked directly," Mari-sensei said calmly, not looking up from her soup. "If she didn't come to you immediately then she wasn't going to bring it up ever."

"Yeah, yeah," muttered the Hokage waspishly as he stabbed his chopstick into an unoffending dumpling. "Next time I'll do it your way."

Hazō and Noburi busied themselves with their food, carefully keeping their eyes down and mouths full so as not to attract attention. Sadly, there was nowhere to hide.

"So, since it seems like bluntness is the only route with you lot," Jiraiya said, "tell me about how you almost killed that kid in the market."

Hazō and Noburi exchanged guilty looks.

"We didn't hurt her," Hazō tried. "Didn't even scare her. She was excited about the whole thing."

"Her mother was terrified," Jiraiya said sharply. "You drew weapons and activated battle jutsu in the middle of a crowded marketplace. You started an attack against an unarmed civilian child. Fortunately, you controlled yourself and no one was hurt."

He grimaced and set his chopsticks on his plate. "I'm not trying to dress you down," he said in a conciliatory tone. "And I'm not taking any official notice of this incident. I'm worried, that's all. You guys just came back from what turned into an unexpectedly hairy mission. You're still operating on battlezone reflexes, and that's dangerous."

"'Hairy'?!" Hazō snapped, guilt and embarrassment flashing over into anger. "Seriously? We had to butcher a boatload of people and then watch our team leader get her throat torn out because you fucked up your network!" The instant it was too late to take the words back he realized what they had been. The angry flush drained from his face, leaving him pale and shaking.

Jiraiya smiled sadly. "You're right. That mission was way worse than 'hairy', and it's on me. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Hazō blinked.

His clan leader chuckled at his expression and shook his head sadly. "Hazō, you can't talk to me like that in public—in fact, you can't talk to anyone like that in public—but you're not wrong. Ninja life has a few bright spots, but mostly it sucks. What you and your team have had to go through, no one should have to go through. It's not fair and it's not right, but it is what it is. I can't fix things, but I can at least try to help you deal with them. If you want to talk to one of the Yamanaka, I can arrange it. If there's anything I personally can do, I will."

"No, sir," Hazō said stiffly. "Thank you for the offer. I'll be fine. It won't happen again."

Jiraiya studied him for a moment, then glanced at Mari-sensei. At her tiny headshake he sighed and nodded. "Okay," he said in defeat. "Let me know if you change your mind. In the meantime, I'm afraid I need to get back to the office."

o-o-o-o

October 2:

Hazō, 20d100 Sealing: 1172
Chime Seal, Success Target Number / Research Counter: 25 / 50 (STN 25 = one-half d100 equivalent skill)
Result: 164.
Seal complete! 114 research points remain for today.
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Long Chime Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
114 points remain for today.
Seal complete! 64 points remain for today.
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Two-Choice Chime Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
64 points remain for today.
Seal complete! 14 points remain for today.
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Long Two-Choice Chime Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
14 points remain for today.
Seal not complete! Research counter now 36.

October 3:

Hazō, 20d100 Sealing: 1075
Long Two-Choice Chime Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 36.
Result: 147 research points for today.
Seal complete! 111 research points remain for today!
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Double Chime Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
111 points remain for today.
Seal complete! 61 points remain for today!
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Extended Double Chime Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
61 points remain for today.
Seal complete! 11 points remain for today!
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Octave Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
11 points remain for today!
Seal not complete! Research counter is now 39!

October 4:

Hazō, 20d100 Sealing: 999
Octave Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 39.
136 research points for today!
Seal complete! 97 research points remain for today!
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 available! Rolling points over...

Long Octave Seal, STN/RC: 25 / 50.
97 points remain for today.
Seal complete! 47 points remain for today!
Research points available! Seals of STN <= 25 NOT available! Remaining research points are lost.

Kagome-sensei's talks with Yamanaka Neira had been awkward since day one. During their first session the woman had immediately recognized that her office, comfortable and reassuring as it was for most people, was not a good place for Kagome-sensei. She had asked him where a better place would be and had not batted an eye when he chose what had previously been Training Area Number Four. Formerly known as 'that place near the big oak tree where ninja go to blow everything up for the glory of Leaf...and Science!', it was now known as 'that place near where the big oak tree used to be where the Gōketsu clan do things that will turn you into a slime mold if you look at them.' Despite the fact that potentially reality-destroying experiments went on there every day, Kagome felt safer amidst the massive number of traps and defenses of the research area than he felt anywhere else.

Today, as for the last three days, Kagome-sensei and Yamanaka sat facing one another on the east side of the field while the rest of the team stayed on the west side, in Kagome-sensei's line of sight but out of earshot.

Noburi had been lounging in the sun a few yards away, alternating between dozing and watching Hazō work through the last of the Nara training seals. When Hazō finally sat back with a grunt of satisfaction Noburi was there with a pair of sandwiches and a waterskin.

"Thanks," Hazō said, taking one of the sandwiches and tearing into it. "Didn't realize I was this hungry."

"You were out here at dawn and you skipped lunch," Noburi pointed out. "Figure it out?"

"Yeah," Hazō said with a snort. "Not exactly world-shaking but they make a good foundation. Check this out." He pulled a blank off the top of each of the eight piles he'd been working on and infused them in rapid order. "This one is Chime." He pushed a little chakra into it and it emitted a soft tone for a moment. "It's the baby brother of the alarm seal and the banshees. No proximity sensor, minimal volume, minimal duration. Nothing but an induction node and a third-factor dispersion gate. Some interesting harmonics on the—"

"Zzzzzz." Noburi let his head fall forward on his chest in pretend sleep.

Hazō glowered at him. "Fine," he grumbled. "Anyway, it's a progression. Chime makes a sound and the others build on that—play for longer, choose one of two tones, choose one of two tones and it plays longer, and so on. Good stuff. It's the first organized practicum I've seen—the book Jiraiya gave me is mostly theory with some basic seal elements as demonstration and Kagome-sensei jumps around a lot."

"'Practicum'?" Noburi said, eyebrows raised. "You've been talking with Keiko about it, haven't you?"

"Yeah, well, she was interested. I mean, not in learning sealing herself, but in the methods for organizing and transmitting information."

"Mm, sounds like Keiko," Noburi said, taking a bite of his own sandwich and chewing thoughtfully. He gestured across the field towards the sealmaster and the mindwalker. "Speaking of transmitting information, what do you think they're talking about?"

"Nothing," Hazō said with a shrug. "I don't think either of them has said a word yet. They're both waiting for the other one to talk first."

Noburi rolled his eyes. "It's been three days."

Hazō shrugged. "She doesn't seem to be in a rush."

Noburi grunted acknowledgement and finished his sandwich before speaking again. "You ever think about talking to her?" he asked very casually, looking off at a cloud formation that was moving in their direction.

"No."

"Yeah, me neither."

Author's Note: The Chime series of seals is a set of training exercises intended to be done in order, each building on the next. Mechanically, the STNs shown were calculated to include reductions based on all Hazō's prior experience, including the earlier seals in the Chime series. The exact details can be found in the following post.

XP AWARD: 18

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Velorien · Aug 3, 2017

Interlude: Carrying the Baggage of Giants

"I still don't understand why we couldn't just get some extra storage scrolls," Kid grumbled as he adjusted the weight of the humongous packs on his back.

"Quit ya whining, kid," Grandmaster F said over her shoulder without breaking stride. "Suffering builds character, ya know."

She stopped so suddenly that Kid nearly ran into her.

"Or was it 'character builds suffering'? Does that sound more spiritual to ya?"

Grandmaster F reached into her left sleeve, groped around for a few seconds, then pulled out a worn-looking scroll. By now, Kid instantly recognised it as one of the Fulgurite Sutras, the sacred texts containing the ancient mystical teachings of the Sage of Six Paths himself. Most sutras in Hidden Cloud were kept in special miniature shrines in sanctified chambers of people's houses. Grandmaster F wore the first Fulgurite Sutra, On the Six Paths of Samsara and the Outer Path that Transcends Them, to keep her hair out of her face in lieu of a forehead protector.

She unrolled the scroll with one hand and scanned its contents.

"The true nature of chakra… How to control seals with ya mind… Curing psychic trauma with basic ninjutsu… ah, here ya go. 'Suffering builds character.' I was right the first time." She smirked as if she'd just won an argument.

"Of course you were, Grandmaster F," Kid said resignedly. "Far be it from me to question your superior wisdom, Grandmaster F."

Grandmaster F eyed him suspiciously for a second, and then shrugged and moved on, flicking the scroll closed and back into her sleeve in a single unfollowable movement.

Other people, Kid reflected, called their mentor "sensei" or "master" at most. He alone was stuck with the mouthful that was "Grandmaster F", and woe betide him if he ever dreamed of shortening it. Then again, he reckoned he'd got off lightly. Grandmaster F had once been the Supremely Accomplished Enlightened Soul of Transcendental Revelation (or something along those lines), head of the Adepts of Perfect Lightning, Cloud's greatest monastic tradition. She considered it testament to her deep humility that she now only went by Grandmaster.

Kid wasn't sure whether this was normal for retired nuns. For that matter, he wasn't sure Grandmaster F was technically retired. The way he'd been told it, one fine afternoon she'd marched up to one of the more competent senior monks, declared "I'm bored of this", and plonked the August Crown of Radiant Wisdom straight onto his bald head. Then, before he could open his mouth, she walked out of the monastery and Hidden Cloud itself.

Apparently, the Raikage had had one of his desk-splitting incidents when he heard. Then, two years later, Grandmaster F had turned up as suddenly as she'd left, bringing with her a complete report on the clandestine activities of the yakuza gambling houses… of every country in the known world. How she didn't get labelled a missing-nin in the meantime was beyond Kid's power to explain.

So there she was. Grandmaster F. Back when he'd been unfamiliar with Cloud's naming conventions, he'd once asked her what her full name was, only to be told it was "F Off". He still wasn't sure if that was true.

Grandmaster F cut off his contemplations with a sharply raised hand—her left hand, the one with the pipe.

"Ya see anything suspicious, kid?"

Kid glanced at the woods lining their path. He spotted it almost immediately. He was pretty sure an ordinary Cloud genin wouldn't have, but then Kid had spent several years being personally trained by Grandmaster F, and she had ways of teaching people to be alert.

"Giant chakra panther, there behind the oak. Adult, uh, male? No, female. They're bigger." According to Cloud's Fauna Bingo Book, the creatures could outrun a chakra-boosted chūnin over short distances, and had perfect reflexes, hides that were impenetrable to kunai, and fangs sharp enough to pierce through samurai plate (if any ninja was both rich and stupid enough to wear samurai plate). This kind of thing was why sane people didn't take shortcuts through deep wilderness.

Grandmaster F sighed and stuck out her other hand, the one with the flask, towards him without looking.

"Hold my beer."

She took off at a brisk walk, heading straight for the cart-sized, sabre-toothed predator as if intending to tell it off for taking up her time.

The panther took a second to recover from what Kid thought must have been sheer confusion, then pressed its body against the ground in preparation—and pounced with the speed of a thunderstrike.

At the last moment before contact, Grandmaster F casually stepped to one side, reaching out with her empty hand as she did so. Her small fist closed solidly around the middle of the panther's two-foot fang.

There was a howl of unbearable, eardrum-splitting agony as, with a single chakra-enhanced yank aided by the beast's own motion in the opposite direction, Grandmaster F tore the fang clean out of its mouth.

As the panther crouched in place, briefly paralysed by the sudden overwhelming pain, Grandmaster F let the momentum bring her all the way round, then thrust her hand down. The blow impaled the panther through the skull with its own fang. The helpless monster thrashed once, twice, then was still.

"Hey, kid," Grandmaster F glanced back at him after a second, "ya reckon we can get something for this sucker down in Hot Springs?"

With a sinking feeling, Kid began to recalculate the balance of his packs.

-o-

It was late at night, and Kid was, as usual, alone in the inn room he shared with Grandmaster F. The woman was too cheap to shell out for a separate room for him, meaning that every night, he'd fall asleep early, only to be woken up at some unmentionable hour of the morning as Grandmaster F staggered in, smelling of tobacco and cheap booze (admittedly, the way she always smelled) and collapsing in a drunken stupor into what wasn't always the right bed.

Well, almost every night. In Kid's long experience, the only time Grandmaster F didn't have a pipe in her mouth was when she was pouring drink in it instead. And if both her hands were empty, that could only be because they were busy in somebody else's bed—young or old, male or female, it didn't seem to matter, and Kid didn't care if it meant he could get a decent night's sleep.

Heck, even with her dodgy habits, she was still one of the more upstanding adults Kid had known in his life. Back in Toro, the official ass-end of Rice Country, adults existed only to exploit kids like him, and kids existed only to rob the adults of what little money there was going round. It had been nothing short of a damn miracle when Grandmaster F had seized him by the ear in the middle of an unrelated con (which admittedly was already going south at that point), dragged him two hundred miles to the Village Hidden in the Clouds "on a hunch", and literally thrown him at the nearest chakra oracle.

He was too old, the authorities told her after a reluctant divination confirmed the presence of chakra reserves, too old to begin the training. So Grandmaster F had made an untranslatably rude gesture at Headmaster Okamoto, grabbed Kid's other ear, and pulled him into Death Valley, the condemned former training ground where even jōnin didn't dare to venture.

Two years later, Kid became the first ninja to pass (or indeed take) Hidden Cloud's graduation exam without ever having set foot within the Academy halls. He'd also developed an intense phobia of goats. And even though to this day Grandmaster F had never asked his name, Kid knew he'd follow her to Hell itself (again).

-o-

To Kid, every time he passed through Hot Springs with Grandmaster F was a little taste of the Pure Land. Even though Grandmaster F refused to "waste" money on an extra room even at the cheapest inn, her great love for pleasures of the flesh meant she also refused to stay anywhere but a hot spring resort when the opportunity arose. And so Kid, who in his other life in Toro had considered an abandoned basement to be the height of luxury, got to periodically rub shoulders with the exalted nobility of the world. Indeed, Grandmaster F had taken care to drill him in the basics of etiquette and respectful behaviour that every shinobi needed to know, right before wandering into the women's baths with her smoke-belching pipe in one hand and a hefty jug of saké in the other.

Today was not a taste of the Pure Land. Today, four wrathful Asuras watched Kid for the slightest excuse to wreak bloody destruction upon him. They were here as bodyguards to the Hot Springs diplomat, or so the theory went, but Kid knew better, especially from how the female one was watching Grandmaster F like a hawk.

Why were they in the middle of this richly-appointed conference chamber with a Hot Springs bigwig again? Oh, right, Grandmaster F had decided to "follow her nose" a hundred-mile distance from Hidden Cloud.

The young man across the table executed a low bow. "Welcome, my lady and my lady's assistant. I am Kurosawa Benzō, here to represent Hidden Hot Springs before honoured visitors. I have seen your Raikage-affirmed credentials. Might I enquire as to your name?"

"Grandmaster F," Grandmaster F said offhandedly, keeping the honorific title even in a self-introduction. "Hey, isn't 'Kurosawa' a Mist name? What happened to the Mugiwara fellow? Ya know, about yay high, scar across one eye, beast in the sack?"

Kurosawa blinked before a smooth, relaxed expression reasserted itself on his face. He sipped the green tea they'd both been brought as if to buy himself time to think.

"I'm afraid the esteemed gentleman has felt the pressures of age, and been granted a peaceful retirement. My clan dispatched me in order to serve as the new Personal Adviser to the Lord of the Burning Waters. It is a great responsibility, but I have faith that in time I will live up to my honourable predecessor's legacy."

"Huh," Grandmaster F said. She didn't touch her own tea, but paused long enough for Kurosawa to be in the middle of another sip before she spoke.

"Ya people move fast. Clan trying to consolidate power before the ya-know-what?"

Kurosawa hesitated. "I can make no comment regarding my clan's position or any actions it may or may not be taking."

Grandmaster F grinned. "But ya didn't question what I meant by 'ya-know-what'."

Kurosawa's face shifted from horror into blank politeness so fast Kid barely noticed his initial reaction. "Forgive me. What I meant to say is that my presence here, which dates from before any… recent events… is nothing more than the Mizukage's expression of goodwill towards our allies, and our work together is aimed purely at securing the peace and prosperity of both Mist and Hot Springs."

There was a knock on the door behind Grandmaster F.

"With your permission?" Kurosawa extended a hand towards Grandmaster F.

"Knock yaself out."

Kurosawa nodded, and one of the bodyguards opened the door. A panting, sweating, lethally exhausted Hot Springs ninja rushed through it.

"Ur-haah-urgent message for you, sir."

"This urgent?" Kurosawa indicated the ongoing meeting with a twist of his head.

"This urgent," the messenger confirmed.

Kurosawa beckoned him, and listened to the words whispered in his ear.

His coughing fit sent green tea spraying across the table.

"I, uh, forgive me for this indecorous display," he wheezed, waving across a bodyguard who silently wiped up the fluid as if it were a personal threat to his client. "You," Kurosawa addressed the messenger, "go. Protocol Thirteen."

"Trouble at home?" Grandmaster F asked sweetly as the messenger stumbled out as fast as he could.

"Not at all," Kurosawa said, his composure instantly restored. "Merely a piece of news that I imagine is even now becoming common knowledge across the country.

"Jiraiya of the Three, the Fifth Hokage, has founded his own clan, the Gōketsu."

Grandmaster F was silent for a full second.

"'bout damn time," she said affectionately. "We'll make a decent man out of him yet. So who's been brave or stupid enough to sign up?"

"Three children of prominent Mist clans," Kurosawa said as if not believing it himself, "and two adults of no notable parentage."

"Well now," Grandmaster F whistled, "if that won't throw the chakra panther at the chickens. Got some names?"

Kurosawa's voice was flawlessly neutral. "By inference, yes. Inoue, Mori, Wakahisa... and Kurosawa."

Kid noticed there were only four names there. He knew for a fact that this would come up in Grandmaster F's test later.

"Yeowch," Grandmaster F smiled cheerfully. "Reckon ya'll be able to sort that mess out in time?"

But Kurosawa seemed to have finally gathered himself. "I'm afraid I am unable to make any statement regarding Hidden Mist's opinion on this development or responses to it, nor the Kurosawa's.

"It seems I will be rather occupied in the immediate future, but on behalf of Hidden Hot Springs, may I offer you our hospitality?"

"Thanks but no thanks," Grandmaster F grinned in a way that boded nothing good. "I reckon the kid and I have places to be right now, if ya know what I mean.

"See?" she turned to Kid. "Told ya my sixth sense always pans out. We get this to the Raikage yesterday, he might even be grateful enough to forgive me for that thing with his sister.

"Ya been a great host, Kurosawa. Got that body control shtick down real good for a kid ya age. Just make sure to get yaself a proper reflex face for when stuff freaks ya out, OK? And say hi to li'l Ren for me when ya get the chance."

Kurosawa bowed in silence as the two of them left. Yeah, Kid wouldn't have known what to say either.

eaglejarl · Aug 6, 2017

Chapter 148: Civilians

"What can I do for you kids?" the civilian asked. Hazō hated everything about him. Everything from his friendly smile to his attentive posture. He was fat and oily and...civilian, unable to defend himself in any way, yet he held the power to stand between Hazō and his clan's financial security.

"Need licenses," Kagome-sensei grunted. The sealmaster's face screwed up as though he were about to spit. "Gotta sell seals."

The man blinked and sat back, his posture suddenly far less inviting. "Seals?"

"Yes, sir," Hazō said, the Iron Nerve giving him the same friendly smile he had worn upon first meeting his best friend, Shiro, at the age of six. (But giving no sign of the agony he'd felt when Shiro cut him off after the other boy failed to be accepted at the Academy.) "Jirai—Lord Hokage has accredited both of us as competent sealmasters. Now we just need our licenses to sell."

The fat little toad blinked. "Well. If anyone would know, he would."

"Also, Mr. Gima, we wish to get licenses for several non-seal-based commercial activities," Keiko said. "Hazō has an idea for more efficient butchering and our team has a jutsu that creates granite walls. We would like to market this ability to civilians for use in construction and raw material supply. Beyond that, I am the Pangolin Summoner. I wish to be able to contract my summons for plowing, digging, cargo moving, and caravan guarding."

"And I've got jutsu that let me move water around," Noburi said. "I figure I can use them for low-volume irrigation, as well as for anything that requires, uh, 'substantial cutting or crushing force'."

Gima digested that. "I see," he said. "And, of course, Lord Hokage is fine with all this."

"Yeah, he is," Kagome-sensei growled. "And you better be too, you stinker, because if you're not—"

"I believe what Kagome means," Noburi said quickly, "is that yes, Lord Hokage is fine with us applying for pretty broad licenses. He specifically sent us to you." He held out a scroll with the Hokage's chop on it. "We brought a specific list of what we're looking for."

"I see," Gima said again. He took the scroll, broke it open and skimmed through. "That's quite a lot."

"Is there a problem?" Hazō asked.

"No, no problem. Just...a lot." He shook off his surprise and opened a drawer on his desk. "I'll start the paperwork, but I must warn you that it may take a while. The Council is being a bit slow lately given the recent tragedy."

"Tragedy?" Keiko asked.

"Yes, the death of all those ninja," Gima said, looking genuinely sad. "It's a tragedy when any of Leaf's defenders falls, but to lose so many at once? It's really torn a hole in the supply of ninja able to do high-end missions. The prices are sky-high now, and the Council is very nervous about potential market disruption." He paused. "Please forgive me if this is too forward but...no one's told us anything about what actually happened, simply that they died in the line of duty. Rumors are saying everything from 'defending the border against a massive assault by Mist' to 'holding back a swarm of demons released by a foolish sealmaster.' I even heard something about them ascending to the Pure Land to serve as an honor guard for the Sage of Six Paths. I'm sure it's classified, but I knew some of them. My uncle had a contract with Minabuchi Eito for clearing the critters off the farm every six weeks. They used to have him for dinner whenever he finished clearing the chakra voles out of the fields. I ate with him several times and thought he was a wonderful man. Is there anything at all you can tell me about what happened to him?"

Without looking, Hazō reached out and clamped his hand on Kagome-sensei's arm.

"I'm really sorry," Noburi said regretfully. "We might be the Hokage's clan, but that doesn't mean he tells us anything. I'll ask him if it's possible to make a more detailed statement, but I can't promise anything."

Gima bobbed his head gratefully. "Thank you. If not, I understand. I know a lot of what you people do is classified, and I accept that." He looked from each of them to the next, his face somber. "Thank you for your service, all of you. I will get you these licenses as quickly as I can." He paused. "Just...you're both sealmasters, so you'd know. There's no such thing as demons coming through a hole in reality like the rumors say, right? Reality isn't like a piece of paper."

"Of course not," Kagome-sensei said. "It's not nearly that sturdy. More like a cobweb, really."

"What Kagome-sensei means," Hazō desperately interjected, "is that yes, it's possible. It's very unlikely, however. You need a sealmaster who is working on something well beyond his abilities and even then you need to get very unlucky. Usually seal failures just explode." Or turn into talking chakra-construct porcupines, but let's ignore that for a moment.

"Oh," Gima said, digesting that. "Thank you for explaining. I'll start working on your papers right away."

o-o-o-o

Jiraiya had arrived at the dinner table five minutes after everyone else and torn into the food like a starving wolf. Hazō politely waited for the Hokage to get a bunch of food in him before asking the question that had been burning him up.

"Jiraiya," Hazō said, "I was thinking about the Merchant Council. They don't make any sense, and I was wondering—

"Hazō," said Mari-sensei warningly. "Maybe not the best time."

"But—"

"Let him talk," Jiraiya growled. "Can't always be there to hold his hand, Mari. Only way he's going to learn not to shove his feet down his own throat is to see that they taste bad. Spit it out, Hazō. You were saying that the Merchant Council makes no sense?"

Hazō swallowed. He had clearly underestimated the foulness of Jiraiya's mood. "It can wait," he said. "How was your day, sir?"

"Peachy. The clan treasury is down to about two weeks of expenses and Hyūga just outmaneuvered me on a key trade deal that would have fixed our financial issues for the foreseeable future. Inuzuka is giving me shit about seal quotas and disapproving of the way I do business. If I hear 'that's not the way the Third did it' one more time I'm going to rip her fucking arms off. Motoyoshi, Amori, and Kurusu have formed a power bloc on the Clan Council and are pressuring me for concessions. We've got fuck-all on Naruto aside from exactly one lead which just went tits-up and burned one of my best agents in Hot Springs. There's some sort of clan fight going on in Mist which I haven't been able to get a read on because all three fucking agents I sent in came back fucking dead and, of course, one of them was from the Motoyoshi clan. Did I mention how they've clubbed up with the Amori and the Kurusu? How about the part where they asked me not to do the mission because they had an alternative that they thought would be safer, but I overrode them because theirs couldn't go off for an extra day? Because that's a thing that happened. Now the bastards are oh-so-politely smugging at me in front of the others. Nothing disrespectful, nothing I can yank them up short for, just helpful little comments that twist the knife. So please, Hazō, tell me about how the Merchant Council makes no sense. I'm just dying to listen to your theories about how things should work."

"Um...."

"Spit it the fuck out, kid!"

Hazō gulped. "Well, sir, I was thinking about how you said that the Council formed after the founding of the village and how they keep the ninja out of commerce with a threat of embargo. That seemed strange, sir, and I was wondering how it came about. Civilians don't usually threaten ninja, sir. And it seems like there would be black markets springing up that would invalidate the whole thing. And, also, even if such a thing could work in Leaf because you—because we are the nice village then it certainly wouldn't work elsewhere. And having ninja participating in the economy would boost production a lot—if we keep them out but the other villages don't then we'll be at a disadvantage and the other villages would outcompete us. It doesn't make sense."

"Sage's sweaty balls, Hazō," Jiraiya said, throwing his chopsticks down. "Don't be a fucking idiot. Of course it's not that simple. The Council is backed by the Hokage and exists to keep the ninja oriented where the should be: on military operations.

"Look, before the villages was the Warring Clans period. The entire world was a constant giant disaster. A few civilian towns that did the farming and paid tribute to their ninja overlords, a whole lot of clans running around everywhere killing each other and any civs that happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. All the clans were constantly on the move so they couldn't be ganged up on. No one could afford to have a fixed base because it just made you a target. They'd descend on a civilian settlement, loot everything that wasn't nailed down, then vanish back into the woods. As such, a lot of civilians stayed on the move themselves, traveling from place to place in heavily armed caravans which could usually survive the wilderness but still took heavy casualties. Disease was everywhere, there was constant looting, and everyone was living on the edge of starvation because the ninja wouldn't stop burning the fucking fields if a civilian mouthed off to them. The whole world was sixty pounds of shit in a five pound sack.

"Senju Hashirama was one of the strongest ninja of his time and the biggest fucking altruist since the Sage himself. Or maybe he just had a little more self-interest and a lot more brains, I don't know. He and Uchiha Madara were rivals all through their childhood. You know how stupidly overpowered the Uchiha's Sharingan bloodline is, right? Yeah, try to imagine a couple hundred Sharingan users all working together. They were an incredibly powerful clan, which made them a target for all the others. You can't keep the Sharingan running twenty-four hours a day, so a kunai from ambush thrown at the right time can still kill you. Plus, the Sharingan won't warn you about poison in your food. The Uchiha could win any stand-up fight but they couldn't entirely keep from taking losses to enemy clans. There weren't all that many of them even then and their birthrate wasn't enough to keep up with the losses. Senju convinced them to join up with him—I don't know how, but if the legends are true it involved beating the shit out of Uchiha in a taijutsu fight, then crushing him in a competitive Chanoyu match, debating him into the ground at philosophy, and making him weep tears of blood from a humiliating defeat in poetry composition.

"Anyway, Uchiha agreed to help found Leaf if Senju could solve the logistics issues—he agreed that it would be possible to hold the walls, but he didn't see how they were going to get enough food. Senju went around to a lot of the smaller civilian towns and caravans and told them about the idea. Civilians weren't real fond of ninja at the time, since pretty much the only time they saw one was when he was stealing their food, raping their daughters, or killing them for not bowing and scraping enough. They weren't really thrilled at the idea of living next door to a whole bunch of ninja; they figured it was just going to mean being poor-as-shit slaves who got killed by ninja even more often than they already did.

"Now, the legend is that thirteen groups were too cowardly and stupid to agree when Senju graciously offered them permission to join with Leaf. The fourteenth group agreed because he came along just as they were being slaughtered by members of the cowardly Hōzuki clan, who Senju single-handedly slew in a mighty battle that blotted out the heavens with a rain of blood." He paused and snorted. "Stupid fucking idea. Personally, I bet he told them to come along or he'd burn their shithole town to the ground. Either way, once he had the first group and he could point to how well-treated they were—and don't get me wrong, he treated those first batch of merchants like fucking princes because he wasn't a fucking idiot like the Hyūga and he recognized that ninja cannot survive without civilians. Anyway, once he got that first batch the whole thing snowballed.

"In the early days Leaf mostly got built by ninja. MEW was used to build the wall around the city, Hokage Tower, and a lot of the earliest buildings. The Senju's Mokuton bloodline was used to create tree-based defenses outside the wall. Ninja with Fire Element techniques burned everything inside the wall to ash so that the civilians could live safely and grow enough crops to feed everyone. Senju made it damn clear that the ninja would play nice with the civilians. For the first couple of months he personally executed any ninja who stole from or injured a civilian; let me tell you, that shit stopped real fast. Those laws are still on the books, too; the Hokage has a legal obligation to ensure that any ninja who hurts a civilian is severely punished and anyone who kills a civilian is executed. That's why I was so freaked out at your little misstep in the market."

"I didn't realize that," Hazō said, feeling himself go pale.

"Of course not," Jiraiya said. "Which is why I've been making sure you're too busy to spend much time in public since then and you've had ANBU hovering over you when you do go out. I've been waiting for all of you to decompress a little bit and then you're going to sit down for a serious education on the laws here." He grimaced. "And also on how to spot the disturbingly frequent signs that civilian abuse has happened, since plenty of them aren't willing to come forward and name their attacker.

"Anyway, back to the history lesson. The ninja were a little dubious about the whole 'fixed base' thing in the beginning, but they rapidly became keen on the idea. The clan leaders were quick to realize that they were making more money and living more comfortable lives by cooperating with each other, and with the civilians, than they had by looting and pillaging. They started setting up businesses, running caravans, all kinds of things. Leaf grew like a weed.

"Of course, every ninja who was building housing for the influx of merchants and civilian refugees wasn't defending the village and was generally too low on chakra at the end of the day to be useful in a fight. Senju couldn't have that. He needed a strong ninja force, not just to defend the home front but also to project power. Leaf wasn't self-sufficient—we still aren't—and so it was critical that we be able to trade with other settlements. That meant both protecting those settlements and guarding the caravans back and forth. He also needed to do diplomacy with other ninja clans, persuade them to either join Leaf or settle down themselves, protect settlements. 'Diplomacy' back then pretty much convincing the other guy that you had the bigger beatstick. Senju was an incredible badass and could have stomped most other ninja into the mud, but he needed them to believe that without actually having to start a fight because corpses make lousy trade partners. That meant having a big entourage with him. He also needed plenty of sandals on the ground in order to find the other clans, since they were still hiding and moving around a lot. He couldn't afford to have ninja spending all their time irrigating fields."

"So he founded the Merchant Council?" Hazō guessed.

Jiraiya gulped down another dumpling, took a sip of his water, and nodded. "Yeah, but under the table. Without his name ever being attached to it, he quietly helped the merchants create a bureaucracy that would simultaneously put the brakes on how much non-military work the ninja could do, put the burden of managing the whole thing on the civilians, and give the civilians a measure of power that would let them penalize clans who stole or killed so that Senju didn't have to spend as much time doing it personally. Plus, it distanced the whole thing from the Hokage. His hands were clean—if someone stole from the civilians then the Merchant Council would embargo all the ninja, which would motivate the other clans to punish the one that committed the crime. All that Senju had to do was stay out of it while making it clear that, even during an embargo, he would still enforce the 'no killing civilians' rule.

"Anyway, it worked. Senju got the ninja focused on military operations, and the village was still growing. The clans weren't thrilled about the whole situation, but they were willing to accept it as long as no one, including the Hokage, received preferential treatment. It's worked ever since. Enough licenses are given out that ninja who really want to start a business can, but the Council makes sure that there's enough missions at the mission desk that it's generally not worth the trouble. Ninja who want to have a side job can boost the economy, and the merchants feel like they have a real stake in Leaf and some power to affect their own destinies. The economy grows fast and everybody wins."

"And, of course, all of the other Kage, and all the ninja protecting civilian settlements in general, saw this and copied it," Hazō said, nodding thoughtfully. "Why did they keep doing it, though? Once things settled down and the Warring Clans period was really over, why wouldn't they go back to having ninja doing business? It would obviously be better for Leaf, and for the merchants, too. Their costs would drop a lot if they let ninja use jutsu and seals to do things more quickly and easily than the civilians can. Then the civilians could focus on the things that they're good at and ninja aren't. Everyone would obviously be richer since costs would drop."

"When situations change, some people lose out," Keiko said. "Markets would be destabilized and some families would go out of business. The ones who are already wealthy would prefer that things remain the way they are. Beyond a certain level of wealth the marginal value of money declines—that is, there is immense benefit gained when moving your income from a net of zero ryo per day to a net of two hundred per day, but much less when moving from two thousand per day to twenty-two hundred. At that point it is entirely rational to focus on risk reduction as opposed to profit maximization."

"But that's crazy!" Hazō said. "Everyone would be better off. So what if a few people lost out on their current businesses? They could just start different ones. And so what if they weren't as rich relative to other people? They'd be richer than they were! Even people with good lives want better lives and if you let ninja use jutsu and seals to boost the economy then things would get cheaper. All merchants want cheaper inputs to their production, so why would they actively work against their own best interests by keeping ninja out? Even if a few of them didn't like the idea, others would. We should be seeing the poorer merchants reaching out to ninja and working around the licensing rules. It's stupid for them not to!" He threw his hands in the air. "None of this makes any sense!"

Jiraiya stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "Kid, could you please get your head out of your ass for ten seconds? The world isn't a perfect place and people aren't nice. A person can be smart, brave, honest, and thoughtful. People are fucking idiots who only care about themselves. They're stupid, they're cowardly, they're easily lead, and they have the morals of a horny mink.

"The way things are is great for a whole lot of people. The ones on the Merchant Council are ridiculously wealthy from taking more bribes than a city guardsman in a whorehouse. The clans are fat and happy because they get preferential selection of missions, so they don't care too much about not being able to water fields and raise walls. Plus, they get to use the Council as a club against civilian-born ninja, and simultaneously make themselves feel big and important.

"Do you know how much money is spent on propaganda in this town? A lot. Everyone has levers to pull. For some of the older generation it's still 'ninja are evil bastards', so they get told that the Council is a shining light of justice, protecting the common man from those evil bastard ninja who would otherwise use their magic to drive good, hard-working civilians out of business. Some people just don't like ninja because they envy us for our abilities, or resent the fact that a lot of ninja treat civilians with contempt. They get told 'look, we can stick it to those smug assholes!' The younger generation mostly think that ninja are great, so for them the message is 'Ninja must train! Spending time on commerce would reduce the military readiness of our noble protectors and get them killed! The licensing rules are in their best interest!' Everyone gets told whatever will convince them the current system is good, so no one pushes for change. Merchants caught doing unlicensed business with ninja get pressured to cut it out. Sometimes the pressure is economic, sometimes it's applied with a club. We try to keep a lid on that part."

"Wouldn't it better just to remove the need?" Hazō asked. "Wouldn't Leaf be better off without the licensing system? Let's get rid of it. Then there wouldn't be any black marketing because it would all be legal."

Mari-sensei winced and Jiraiya snorted. "Blood and death, kid. You think I give a shit? The system works. Is it ideal? No. Am I going to do anything about it? Sage's festering boils, no. I basically took the hat by force, most of the clans would love to see me out so they could push for someone more sympathetic to their specific needs. I'm trying to find Naruto before Leaf falls apart, I'm simultaneously trying to keep up diplomatic relations with half a dozen countries. You think I'm about to upset the apple cart over this? Fuck that idea with a band saw. Three Hokages before me, including my teacher who was smarter and more politically savvy than everyone in this room put together, didn't feel the need to change things. Leaf is growing in terms of population and our military power is increasing faster than anyone else's, but not so much so that the other nations are ready to start a war over it. Maybe, if we threw the current economic system up in the air like you obviously want, maybe what came down would be better. Maybe, but maybe not. Why should we take the chance?"

Hazō looked away, stabbing resentfully at his food. "It's still stupid," he mumbled.

"Welcome to my world," Jiraiya said with a shrug.

o-o-o-o

"Agh!" Hazō yelled, hurling the demon-infested, Sage-damned, boil-festering, stinking wooden tube across the field in a massive burst of chakra-enhanced strength that sent the thing tumbling out of sight over the nearest trees.

"Still not working?" Akane asked, smiling sympathetically.

"No!" Hazō growled. "Can't get the seals to align."

"Is this a bad time?" Noburi asked lightly, walking out of the treeline behind them. "Hazō, are you tearing holes in the world again?"

"Fuck you," Hazō growled.

"Hazō!"

"Sorry, Akane," he said. "Noburi, sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm just really frustrated."

Noburi shrugged. "No problem. What are you working on, anyway?"

Hazō glared at the next wooden tube lying beside him. "You know the Lesser Barrier Formation seal that Kagome-sensei uses?"

"The chakra tripwire?" Noburi asked. "Sure. Two seals, anything that passes between them sets it off, boom."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't have to be boom," Hazō said. "An LBF can activate any seal you want, not just explosives. Storage seal, Air Dome, whatever. Which means we can make seals usable by civilians, since all they have to do is wave their hand through the beam."

"Huh," Noburi said, eyebrows rising. "Okay, that's pretty cool. Sounds dangerous though. Give civilians access to seals and who knows what they'll do?"

Hazō waved dismissively. "Eh, we'll handle it. All we have to do is only give them to the law-abiding ones. Besides, even if there's a little bit of downside the upsides are worth it. We can put macerators on the LBF and give civilians a weapon that they can use to kill chakra beasts. Or put Air Domes on it so they have a defense."

Noburi studied him dubiously. "Okaaay. So, how are you going to do this?"

"You take the two halves of an LBF and you put them at opposite ends of a wooden tube, like this." Hazō picked up one of the wooden tubes that Akane had made and its two endcaps, each of which had a seal carefully glued in place. "You should just be able to put the caps in and have the beam form inside. You interrupt it with a lever in order to make the attached seals fire, but I can't make it work. I can't get the LBF seals to align precisely enough when I can't see them."

"What's the point of the tube?" Noburi asked.

"It keeps the seals aligned so you can move them around. Plus, weatherproofing."

"So if the LBF seals are inside the tube, where are the seals that they're going to activate?" Noburi asked. "When Kagome sets up the perimeter he always puts the explosives in contact with the LBF seals. It's not useful to put them inside with the LBF and if you put them on the outside then the activation effect has to reach through the wood of the endcap. Plus, the seals you want to activate are exposed to the weather."

"Yeah, I haven't worked that part out yet," Hazō admitted. "I just wanted to get a basic prototype working." He smiled. "I call it the gunwand!"

Noburi looked at him. "Right. Well, I'm here to remind you guys that it's almost dinner time."

Akane leaped to her feet, eyes wide. "Already?!" She glanced at the sun. "Hazō, we need to go!"

Noburi waved a calming hand. "It's okay, it's okay," he said. "You've got time to shower and change. Mari-sensei sent me out well in advance."

"Thank you!" said Akane's rapidly-diminishing voice as she grabbed Hazō's hand in an inescapable grip and ran into the distance.

o-o-o-o

Ishihara Kenta had been waiting by the door for thirty minutes when the knock finally came. He gave his best shirt one final tug, ran a hand nervously through his hair, and opened the door with a wide smile.

"Hazō, so nice of you to urk!"

Kenta had been prepared to see Hazō on his doorstep. Prepared to invite the boy that he had once told to stay away from Akane into his home and treat him well. It had been hard to accept the fact that Hazō was no longer a missing-nin and was in fact now the son of the Hokage—indeed, there were still moments when he found himself wondering if the whole thing had just been a dream, or perhaps a nightmare. He couldn't decide if he was more terrified that the boy would hold a grudge against Kenta or that he would take Akane away. Oh, he seemed to care for her well enough, but if she stayed with him she would be sucked into the maelstrom of high-level politics. Ninja died from politics as surely as from field duty.

Still, afraid or not, Kenta had been ready to welcome Hazō into his home for the sake of his own honor and Akane's happiness. What he had not been ready for, however, was to see the Hokage on his doorstep. And the Hokage's family. All of them. And two ANBU special forces wearing face-concealing animal masks...and carrying picnic baskets?

The Hokage smiled widely and extended a hand to shake. "Ishihara Kenta, such a pleasure!" he boomed. The Hokage's voice was big, even bigger than the man himself. Tall, broad-shouldered, and deep-chested as he was, that was saying something.

Kenta just stared. The Hokage of Leaf. A member of the Sannin, the Legendary Three Ninja. One of the most dangerous individuals alive. Author of a huge catalog of smutty books that both Kenta and his wife found quite...stimulating. He was here. On Kenta's doorstep.

Jiraiya's eyes were twinkling and his smile only got wider as Kenta stared. After a moment the Sannin cleared his throat and glanced towards his own extended hand. The sound seemed to restart Kenta's brain and made him immediately grab the calloused hand and pump it up and down.

"Yes! Sir! Lord Hokage, welcome! Please, come in." He pivoted, gesturing inside with one arm and almost thwapping Yukari in the chest as she came to join them.

Jiraiya bowed politely to Akane's mother. "Ishihara Yukari, I presume? It's an honor, ma'am."

Yukari returned the bow. When she straightened her face was lit up with a radiant smile. "Lord Hokage, such an honor. Please, won't you come in?" She gestured into the house far more gracefully than Kenta had.

Jiraiya started to step across the threshold but stopped when one of the ANBU coughed significantly. He rolled his eyes in disgust. "Yes, yes," he griped over his shoulder. "Go on, check the place out." He turned back to the Ishiharas as the ANBU flowed inside, their inherent threat somewhat disrupted by the brightly-colored picnic baskets they each carried. "I do apologize for this. I'm really not used to the whole bodyguard thing, but they do insist."

"Not at all, not at all," Kenta said, nervously cataloging everything in the house to see if somehow it might be objectionable to the terrifying bogeymen who guarded the lord and master of Leaf. His tobacco had been grown in the Land of Rivers; would he be considered a traitor for not buying domestic?

"Clear, sir," said one of the ANBU, re-emerging from the kitchen area. Jiraiya waved impatiently and the two masked killers turned to the owners of the home into which they had so forcefully barged. They bowed low and the one on the left said, "Please pardon the intrusion, sir, ma'am. We hope you have a lovely dinner." There was a puff of smoke and they were gone.

The Hokage's wife rolled her eyes. "Showoffs," she mumbled. "Please excuse the drama, both of you. I'm afraid those two are new on the job and they're still feeling a little overprotective." She stepped forward, both hands extended to Yukari and a wide smile on her beautiful face. Kenta found himself very relieved that the Hokage's wife wore a high-collared shirt; she was short enough that from here he would have been staring straight down her undoubtedly-impressive cleavage if she had had any on display. (A tiny and very stupid part of himself also felt regret.)

"Not at all," Yukari said, taking her hands with a matching smile. "Such a pleasure."

"The pleasure is all mine," Gōketsu Mari said sincerely. "Allow me to introduce my children. This is Keiko, Noburi, and of course you know Hazō."

Yukari laughed. "I do indeed. I must say, things have changed since the last time you were here, young man."

The boy shuffled his feet nervously. "Thank you, ma'am?" he said.

"It is an honor to meet you, sir, ma'am," the girl—Keiko?—said gravely. Her bow was exactly the correct degree, her manner far too serious for a teenager. Was she angry? Had Kenta offended her by not acknowledging her sooner? Would the Hokage or his wife restrain her if she acted on that anger?

"An honor and a pleasure," the remaining boy said with an easygoing smile and a bow. He was remarkably stocky for a ninja, his face caught halfway between a child's baby fat and a man's chiseled jaw. Still, half-grown or not, Kenta had the suspicion that the boy could break him in half without trying.

The thought made Kenta's brain jump tracks. They'd been planning for half this many seats at table—four, not eight! If Akane was at all representative, ninja ate far more than normal people; was there even enough food in the house for everyone? Would the Hokage get upset at being made to wait while they cooked more? Sage's blessed benevolence, what if the food wasn't up to his standards? What if the house wasn't up to his standards? The Hokage was undoubtedly used to dining on gold plates and sitting on silk cushions; would the utilitarian stoneware and wooden chairs of the Ishihara house offend him?!

"I hope you don't mind us dropping in like this," the Hokage said. "Hazō mentioned that he was going to be having dinner here tonight and I thought I could probably save everyone some difficulty if I came along to answer questions. Then Mari heard and insisted on coming, and we couldn't very well all go and abandon Noburi and Keiko, so...." He gestured towards the kitchen where the ANBU had gone. "I realize that you were only expecting to have the four of you, so I brought a few items." He flashed a roguish grin. "Let's say the first basket is a hostess gift and the second is a potluck contribution."

Kenta carefully masked his sigh of relief. A Hokage who was courteous enough to bring a hostess gift and thoughtful enough to ensure there was food for everyone wouldn't take offense at being asked to sit on an uncushioned chair. The evening probably wouldn't end in disaster.

XP AWARD: 8

This update covers 48 hours. The plan was well-organized and had a lot of useful and interesting ideas, but was a little overwhelming.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 9, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Author's Notes: Hazō did not reach out for therapy. He is angry and guilty and not yet at a point where he's ready to talk about it. He's also aware that really discussing the mission would risk the issue with Kagome-sensei coming out, thereby invalidating everything they did, and he has no interest in taking the risk.

Jiraiya's birthday is November 11.

Hazō has been busy researching and Noburi has been busy studying with Kabuto, so you have not yet managed to ask him about quantifying chakra.

Velorien · Aug 11, 2017

Chapter 149: Laying Foundations

Hazō knocked on the door tentatively, unsure whether he was going to get a warm welcome or an ANBU guard to the face.

"Dr Yakushi, may I come in?"

Dr Yakushi was in his usual place, looking mournfully at a scroll which spilled across the entire desk and was covered in writing too small and illegible for any mortal to decipher. A little off-centre from where Dr Yakushi was looking, a complicated seal was surrounded by annotations added in what was probably his hand.

"Kurosawa!" Dr Yakushi looked up, simultaneously rolling up the scroll with a single urgent movement. "Or should I say 'Gōketsu'? Congratulations on your ascension, young man."

He gave a gentle smile. "I trust you will treasure them. Very few who lose their family are ever given a second chance."

"Y—Yes, sir."

"I must admit I wasn't sure I would see you again after the events of your previous visit to Leaf. But I am delighted that you came. I do look forward to conducting bloodline research with your help, just like old times."

That had been nowhere near Hazō's mind when he was thinking about this visit, but looking at the expression of childlike excitement on Dr Yakushi's face, he found himself entirely unable to say so.

"I, um, actually, Dr Yakushi, I was hoping to run a couple of my own research ideas past you."

Dr Yakushi nodded. "Of course. You help me with my research, I help you with yours. What kind of man would I be if I sought your cooperation in a scientific endeavour without offering my own assistance in return?"

It felt like a dangerously double-edged remark. The thought of that mysterious duality between Dr Yakushi the paragon of helpfulness and Dr Yakushi the ruthless manipulator floated to the surface of Hazō's mind, but as usual, he had no way of figuring out which he was dealing with.

"I was wondering if there had been any experiments done on quantifying chakra."

Dr Yakushi's eyes narrowed slightly. "Pray elaborate."

Hazō's heart beat a little faster. Dr Yakushi wasn't dismissing the idea the way Jiraiya did virtually everything Hazō ever suggested. Was he... being taken seriously? By a professional?

"I've been thinking how there seems to be a lot of consistency to how much chakra it takes to use a given ninjutsu between people with similar skill and reserves. Suppose that in reality, it always takes the same amount of chakra to achieve the same effect, and that it costs one arbitrary unit of chakra to use the Water Whip Technique. If Noburi can use ten Water Whips before he gets exhausted… actually, Noburi's the worst possible example, but never mind. Anyway, in that case, we can say that his chakra reserves are ten units large. If we then teach him, say, the Water Bullet Technique, and he can use it five times before getting exhausted, then we know it costs two units of chakra. By accumulating a catalogue of ninjutsu costs for common techniques, we can eventually deduce any given ninja's reserve size. We might even be able to monitor how those reserves grow, and develop scientifically-proven optimal training methods."

Hazō could feel himself getting more animated as he recalled more possibilities.

"We could identify the most efficient techniques for a given task and discard the rest, and make sure new techniques we developed were as efficient as possible. We could find patterns between the costs needed to create different effects, and draw conclusions about the fundamental workings of chakra. We could find the exact threshold between ninja and civilian, and see what can be done to cross it."

"Magnificent," Dr Yakushi said. "This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that our discipline needs in order to advance. Not merely new objects of study, but new approaches to the structure of scientific study itself. Subjectivity, Gōketsu, is the bane of our work. 'How much chakra does it cost to activate your Bloodline Limit?' 'Oh, a fair bit.' 'How much do these Akimichi pills accelerate your chakra regeneration?' 'Uh, quite a lot?' 'Do you have enough chakra to complete this extremely sensitive experiment?' 'Durr, probably?'"

The gormless idiocy Dr Yakushi put into the answering voices—with remarkable acting skill—convinced Hazō of the strength of his feelings better than any amount of descriptive language.

"To the best of my knowledge, there are no hidden village researchers who have accomplished the task you describe. The difficulties, which I suspect you underestimate, are great, while the rewards are not intuitively obvious to the laypeople on whom we rely for funding. And of course, it takes an exceptional individual to so much as imagine imposing a coherent cognitive structure on the apparent chaos of the physical world, never mind apply the rigor and dedication necessary to force that mental map to accurately correspond to an uncooperative territory.

"If you wish to take on this herculean task, Gōketsu, I will happily support it. Provide me with a research proposal, offer a course of experimentation, and I shall ensure that it reaches the right eyes with my endorsement."

"Thank you, sir!" Hazō exclaimed. "That's great.

"I was also thinking about disease immunity. I think it's quite well-known that there are some diseases a person never catches twice, isn't it? I've been wondering about it quite a while, back from Noburi started treating civilians in the villages we passed during our travels."

"'Quite well-known' might be overstating it," Dr Yakushi said thoughtfully. "There are many diseases that plague the civilian population—no pun intended—but rarely if ever affect ninja due to our superior constitutions. Likewise, civilians behind hidden village walls suffer from a much lower rate of disease than those beyond them. Thus, hidden village medic-nin suffer from a lack of data on broad trends in the population.

"With that said, more advanced practitioners are aware of the tendency. But Leaf medic-nin cannot account for it. Perhaps exposure to disease leaves one with some form of latent resistance. Perhaps survivors change their behaviour in ways that reduce their odds of reinfection. Or perhaps those that survive are simply more fit to begin with, and if they are strong enough to survive the disease as children, then they will be strong enough to simply shrug it off as adults. A thousand possibilities, Gōketsu, limited only by one's imagination, and no means of distinguishing between them. The curse of all scientific endeavour.

"Again, Gōketsu, if you have any concrete suggestions for investigating the matter, I would be happy to pass them on as appropriate. My own time, I fear, must be used on matters requiring more specialised expertise."

That was fair. Hazō only knew Dr Yakushi because the man happened to be a specialist capable of treating Akane's extremely rare injury, not because the man was an all-purpose port of call for medical matters. Not that Hazō didn't intend to leverage the connection for all it was worth anyway. He had a world to uplift, and at the moment only one lifetime to do it in.

Which reminded him…

"One more thing, Dr Yakushi. About Arikada…"

"Yes?"

"When we fought her, she used something called the Edo Tensei Technique to raise the dead to fight against us. Can you tell me anything about how that would work? Is it something I could learn with a high enough clearance?"

Dr Yakushi stared at him blankly.

Seconds passed.

Hazō began to worry that he'd just asked a Question Not to Be Asked, and that ANBU were already on their way to disappear him.

Then Dr Yakushi burst out laughing. "Oh, Gōketsu. Oh, that's wonderful. You mean to say you took her seriously? Oh, I haven't heard anything like this in years!"

Hazō felt a sense of impending humiliation. "Dr Yakushi?"

Dr Yakushi straightened up and adjusted his glasses. "I apologise, Gōketsu. With the intellect you display, I sometimes forget that you are both very young and from a village with a vastly inferior standard of education.

"The Edo Tensei Technique is a myth. It is a piece of disinformation created by the Second Hokage in wartime. He claimed that he had developed a technique which used human sacrifice to resurrect powerful ninja with all of their knowledge and abilities intact, and beyond death since they had already transcended its boundary. Due to his well-earned reputation as a ninjutsu creator, and various leaked details such as 'sacrifice volunteer lists', the other villages fell into panic, believing that Leaf had entered a new stage in the global arms race. In addition to grossly overestimating Leaf's military might—which is not to say that the Second wasn't a monster in the field to begin with—they threw vast resources into attempting to replicate Edo Tensei, including the waste of significant human resources, and the consequent unrest among their general populations.

"It is this myth that Arikada sought to capitalise on with her multi-layered deception. Even so, I fear she is not a kunoichi of legend who has mastered death and opened the gates to immortality."

Dr Yakushi's gaze grew sympathetic.

"I suppose you were enjoying visions of setting the dead to work the fields and guard the walls of civilian settlements, ushering in a new age of peace and productivity? Do not look so surprised. Noburi often speaks admiringly of your unique ideals. But I fear your ambition will not be so easily granted. Arikada's so-called body slaves are little more than corpses forced into motion. They lack anything you would recognise as a mind or a will, indeed anything beyond the barest animal instinct, and as for the limits of their duration…

"But forgive me. You have no need to hear classified details. Suffice it to say that there is a reason that Arikada uses them only as a last resort, and it would not be worth your effort to attempt to reproduce them."

For a second, Hazō wondered. What would happen if he told Dr Yakushi the truth? What would Dr Yakushi think if he knew that Hazō's true desire wasn't necromancy but immortality? Would he laugh at Hazō again, or would he be a potential ally in the quest? If the latter, how much further could Hazō advance with a master of biotechnology at his side?

No, he decided. Not today. It was a great idea, but it was also something to be approached carefully, not blurted out on impulse. (See? He was learning! Stop snickering, Inner Mari-sensei!)

Dr Yakushi glanced at the window.

"Ah. It seems I have allowed myself to be caught up in your intriguing ideas and lost track of time. There were certain experiments I intended to run before the hour grew so late. On the other hand, with your assistance perhaps I can salvage the afternoon after all. Would you accompany me to my underground laboratory, Gōketsu? I assure you it will not take long, and perhaps we can further discuss your thoughts on chakra quantification while we run the tests?"

Even if Hazō could see a good reason to refuse the man who was doing his best to help him, he would probably have felt too awkward to do so.

"Yes, Dr Yakushi. I'd be happy to help."

-o-

The Fifth Hokage, Jiraiya of the Three, single-handed destroyer of the Sōon Clan, tamer of the unstoppable Mao Shogun, the only man ever to successfully seduce Saeko the Snow Queen, bestselling author and legendary sealmaster, strongest of summoners and greatest of sages, etc. etc. had finally met his match. His will to live drained faster with every second, while his opponent seemed to grow in size before his very eyes without using any sort of ninjutsu. He felt himself reaching for the Fire Element, his enemy's only weakness, but even that possibility was denied him. He would have to finish his paperwork the old-fashioned way.

The worst part of it was that there seemed to be half again as much paperwork today as there had been yesterday. Oh, it was all unconnected materials from a hundred different sources, from sealcrafting experiment reports to proposals to amend taxation policy, but in the back of his mind was the uneasy awareness that yesterday afternoon he had slighted Nara Shikaku.

The knock on his door was a hymn of salvation.

"Enter," he said, putting on his indefatigable Hokage face.

"Good afternoon, Lord Hokage."

"Akane. What brings you to my humble forest?"

To her credit, it took Akane barely a second to glance at the stacks of paper and make the appropriate inference.

"If you're too busy, sir, I can—"

"No," Jiraiya said immediately. "It's fine. What can I do for you today?"

Akane drew herself up to her full height, looking him in the eye for all the world as if they were equals.

"I would like to ask your permission to marry Hazō."

Jiraiya carefully put down his brush.

"Is that so? Then why isn't he here with you?"

"I haven't spoken to him about it yet," Akane admitted.

Jiraiya raised his eyebrows.

"Sir," Akane's voice softened, "I am aware that using Hazō in a political marriage could be very valuable for you. As a commoner, I can't offer your clan that kind of advantage. So if you're going to reject me, if I can't be Hazō's wife, I'd prefer to know sooner rather than later so I can learn to… manage my expectations."

Jiraiya studied the girl. Her bearing… it wasn't noble as such, but it was dignified, in a way he wouldn't necessarily expect from a carpenter's daughter. He could determine the rest of her life here, with a couple of words, and she knew it, and yet she still stood straight.

"All right, Akane. Make your case. Why should I choose you over the rich and powerful of this world?"

Akane breathed in slowly, then out. Then in again.

"Sir. Hazō is gifted. He's a visionary. He's the most youthful person I know. He's probably going to be head of the clan someday. If he keeps pursuing his ambition, which he will, he'll become Hokage as a stepping stone. Hazō is important, and I'm not just saying that because I love him.

"He needs someone who is completely, perfectly loyal to him. A political marriage can't offer him that, not with the way clan loyalties work. But I can. I can support him without holding back and without manipulation."

"Hmm," was Jiraiya's only comment.

"I also believe I will make a good partner for him. Hazō is brilliant. He's driven, creative and compassionate. But if there's one thing that holds him back…" Akane hesitated. "It's his lack of common sense."

Jiraiya was nodding in agreement before he even realised he was doing it.

"That's something I can offer him," Akane said. "I may not be intelligent like Keiko or silver-tongued like Noburi or powerful like Kagome, but I'm… stable. I can keep him grounded and I can spot things that he's too clever to notice. I can always be there for him because I don't get hurt easily and I rarely get lost in my own head.

"That might not sound like much to the greatest ninja in the world, but I think it's what Hazō needs, more than another genius or a spiderweb of political connections. He won't have any trouble finding those if he puts his mind to it, but he won't find anyone else able to unconditionally support him the way I can."

"Hmm," Jiraiya repeated. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Akane, but aren't those things you're going to offer him anyway? Whether I let you marry him or not?"

There was a pause.

"Yes, sir," Akane said in a small voice. "Of course I am."

"Do you think he's ready?" Jiraiya mercifully shifted the subject. "After all, you haven't even talked to him yet."

"I don't want us to rush into anything, sir," Akane said firmly. "That isn't why I'm here.

"But at the same time," she added more quietly, "he's an experimenting sealcrafter and I'm a close combat specialist. There's no way of knowing how much longer we have together."

Jiraiya nodded without comment.

"Kids?" he asked.

Akane didn't blush. Jiraiya wondered if she'd got all that out of the way while preparing for this conversation.

"I don't want us to rush into anything," Akane repeated. "And if I live long enough…"

Her voice turned a little shy. "I think I would like our children to be born into the new world Hazō is trying to create. I'd like them to be the ones to build on the foundations we're laying."

"Is that right?" Jiraiya said neutrally. "I'm not going to make a decision on the spot, Akane. I've got nothing against you, but the world is being sucked into a whirlpool of chaos, not least thanks to you guys, and it doesn't look like it'll be smooth sailing again anytime soon. Until this clan is on solid footing, until Leaf is on solid footing, Hazō's hand in marriage might turn out to be a trump card we can't afford not to play. You with me?"

"Yes, sir," Akane said clearly.

"Anything else?"

"Sir…" Akane looked at him again. "If you decide that I'm not an acceptable partner, may I suggest Yamanaka Ino? I know you sort of already have the Yamanaka via the Nara, but Hazō and Ino have compatible personalities, and he could benefit a lot from her social skills. Also, Hazō has a habit of trying to turn everything he comes across into a tool, and I think he could come up with some great new uses for the Yamanaka arts."

"I'll bear it in mind."

Jiraiya studied her face, taking notes until he was satisfied. She waited motionlessly.

"Dismissed."

Jiraiya listened to Akane's steps speed up as she walked down the corridor outside. He did like the girl, he decided. After all, he'd only ever known one other ninja whose heart was such an open book.

-o-

"Kids," Jiraiya said in the middle of family dinner, "I've got an invitation for you."

"Aww," Mari-sensei cooed, "are you by any chance going to invite them to our enormous grandiose wedding ceremony which by the way we still haven't had?"

"Get off my back, woman," Jiraiya grumbled good-naturedly. The bags under his eyes were as dark as ever, but it seemed to Hazō that there was a spark of the old bouncy Jiraiya present today that he hadn't seen in weeks. "We couldn't very well have it before the big announcement, could we? And right now we don't have the money to throw a Gōketsu wedding party worthy of my beloved wife."

Mari-sensei grinned. "Not very subtle, but I'll let you off this once because I'm feeling generous and Kagome's fish soup is amazing. No wonder he turned out to be from Hidden Mist all along."

Kagome muttered something nigh-inaudible about stinking stinkers rewriting history to suit their whims and who did they think they were anyway, the Sage of Six Paths, and it was this kind of rubbish that filled the world with crazy conspiracy theories that distracted people from the true machinations of the sinister powers behind the scenes and he was trying some new spices from the south of the Fire Country and did she really think it was that good?

"Aaanyway," Noburi said over Kagome's very quiet tirade, "thrilling as I find the idea of standing around for half a day while some old sage drones on about the blessings of the Will of Fire, what's this about an invitation?"

"So," Jiraiya said cheerfully, "who wants to go on a relaxing trip to Hidden Mist?"

Several things happened at once.

Kagome lunged for his exploding tags, screaming something about lupchanzen. Mari's hand whipped out with the speed of lightning to stop him. Noburi dropped his spoon, splashing himself with hot soup. Hazō leapt to his feet, ready to finally present the lists he'd made for Operation Save My Mother. And Keiko…

Keiko calmly took a bite out of her bread and goat's cheese roll. "Is it that time of year already?"

"What time of year?" several people demanded at once.

"What time of year?" Jiraiya said dramatically, clearly enjoying everyone's reactions. "Why, the time of year for the Chūnin Exams!"

"You want us to go to the Chūnin Exams," Noburi clarified. "In Mist. Where everybody and their killer octopus wants us dead with extreme prejudice. Both Leaf ninja generally and us specifically. With all due respect, sir, are you insane?"

"It's finally happened," Kagome crowed. "I told you Jiraiya-stinker would betray us, but you were all 'Nooo, Kagome, we can trust family, they won't try to get us killed or brainwashed or tell girls we have a crush on them in front of the whole Academy'. Well, this is what trusting people gets you!"

"Kagome," Jiraiya said, "shut up for a second. Nobody is going to get killed in Mist. The Accords guarantee non-violence during the period of the Exams, or nobody would go. Mist attacks us while we're visiting, the other villages have to come down on them as a matter of treaty. That and if one of the Hokage's clan dies on their territory, even if it looks like an accident, that's casus belli. Right now, Mist would rather have a Spontaneous Chakra Combustion Disease epidemic than a war with Leaf."

"So you're saying this is a chance for us to go to Mist safely?" Hazō couldn't contain his excitement. "We can exfiltrate my mum?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, kid," Jiraiya said. "Remember what I said about non-violence? Kidnapping counts as violence, and you can bet your lucky socks Mist would spin it as a kidnapping."

"Oh."

"But. There are plans. Shikaku and I have been working on something a lot bigger than you or your mother. Hell, it's bigger than Hyūga Hiashi's ego. It's too soon to talk about the details, but step one is attending the Chūnin Exams. See, the exams start in three weeks, and we've only just got confirmation today that Mist will be hosting. I don't need to tell you what that means."

Hazō looked at him uncomprehendingly.

"Keiko?" Jiraiya asked with a touch of resignation.

"Three weeks is the shortest possible notice," Keiko explained. "In other words, the Mist authorities have been delaying until the last second, likely in hopes of finding a new Mizukage to represent them. The timing implies that they have failed to elect one, their political situation is still unstable, and they have agreed to host purely because they cannot afford the show of weakness that would come from defaulting on their responsibilities. The lack of a leader will make them extremely vulnerable during any negotiations that Jiraiya conducts during his visit, and his physical presence will make them unable to evade the issue."

"Girl's a treasure," Jiraiya grinned. "I'm going to bleed Shikaku dry with the bride price, or my name's not Gōketsu Jiraiya."

He paused. "That's got a nice ring to it. Don't get me wrong, 'Jiraiya of the Three' has history, but constantly having to share your glory with a team that split up decades ago can really get to you.

"Anyway, Keiko's got it in one. In three weeks' time, Gōketsu Jiraiya is going to waltz into a meeting with a bunch of squabbling clan heads and cram the Pax Konoha down their throats. It's a pity it'll be a closed meeting, because their faces are going to be hilarious."

"What about money?" Hazō asked. "If we're on thin ice financially, can we really afford to spend that much time away from Leaf?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Think about it. You think the villages want their candidates spending the exams worrying about their families starving to death from all the missed missions? There's a stipend that comes out of the treasury—not huge, but we're not going to die of starvation either.

"Besides, we can't afford not to go. If the Hokage's new clan, which happens to be fifty percent provisional chūnin, doesn't attend the Chūnin Exams, that's a show of weakness too. Mist's turtles might value the ceasefire we've sort of got going right now, but if the sharks can stir up trouble for us without going toe to toe, you know they will."

"Sharks don't have toes, dear."

"Cram it, beloved wife. You know what I'm trying to say."

"We've got to go," Noburi summarised, "so we may as well make the most of it."

"Not quite," Jiraiya said happily. "I'm saying we've got to go, and Mist won't know what hit it. And for you kids, this is a chance to a) get closure with your families, if that's a thing you want to do, and b) show Mist the true power of those three kids they dismissed as worthless way back when.

"And while I'm wrecking Mist's top clan heads like a Great Fireball Technique going through a stack of paper… you kids are going to rock the Chūnin Exams."

-o-

You have received 4 XP.

-o-

This update covers one day. Your training plans have been implemented, on the assumption that they represent the completion of training conducted since you entered Leaf.

-o-

What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 12th of August, 9 am New York Time.

eaglejarl · Aug 14, 2017

Chapter 150: Cramming for Exams

"Good morning," Hazō said, coming through the door to the mission room with the others trailing behind him. "We're looking for some short-term missions. Can you help us?"

The desk chūnin was a middle-aged woman with a neatly-turned-out uniform, the left leg of which was pinned up over the stump of her leg. Her left hand was missing the ring and little fingers and there were vicious burn scars down the left side of her face. Her hair was long and carefully styled to cover the worst of them, but there was only so much that could be done to conceal the damage.

Hazō didn't even blink. There were too many scarred and wounded ninja veterans around for it to be noteworthy, even if her wounds were unusually severe.

The woman did a doubletake as she recognized him, then offered a smile and a respectful bow of the head. "You're the Gōketsu kids, right? I'm Ito. Ito Ino. Hopefully you've already been told this, but thank you for your service. What you had to go through...it must have been horrible. Truly, the Will of Fire burns bright in all of you."

"Thank you," Hazō said. He left it at that.

"Indeed, thank you," Keiko said. "We have been told that exactly once before, by a civilian. It is pleasing to hear it from a ninja as well. You do not object that we were mi...labeled as missing-nin before? I was concerned that people would not be able to adjust their perceptions of us once the truth was revealed."

Ito laughed. "Lord Jiraiya trusts you so much that he's willing to adopt you. That says everything that needs to be said." She looked down and started shuffling through the scrolls on her desk. "Short term mission, huh? How short are you looking for?"

"Ideally we'd like to get a few things that we could do back-to-back in the next couple days," Noburi said. "Just enough to make rent money for a week or two, but we want to focus on training for the Chūnin Exams."

Ito's eyebrows rose. "I heard about those, but I hadn't heard who was nominated. No insult intended, but are you guys sure you want to do that? I mean...you're a little young yet, right? And it's Mist. The Mizukage is famous for holding grudges, isn't he?"

"Hah!" Kagome-sensei said. "Stinking rat stinker's not going to be bothering us anymore, now is he?" His eyes widened slightly and he clapped both hands over his mouth, then quickly yanked them away. "I mean, yes. Yes, he's probably going to be angry. Holding a grudge, definitely." His eyes flicked from side to side. "Probably be waiting for us at the gates with a bunch of ANBU. Or whatever they call them in Mist. And maybe giant...um...fish? He's the fish summoner, isn't he?"

Ito eyed him for a moment, then shook her head. "Right. Well, anyway, back on the topic of missions. I've got some standard bounty work—farmers have put in reports of various chakra beasts in their area, we pay a bounty for every left ear of that species that you bring in, or another specified bodypart if the critter doesn't have external ears. The individual bounties aren't much, but they add up and it's a target-rich environment. Looks like there's some kind of migration going on, because I've got over two hundred steelback sightings as well as a bunch of other things.

"If that doesn't interest you, there's some courier work. Take a storage scroll full of stuff to various places—it doesn't pay much but it's low-risk and won't take more than a day. I've got Keishi and Tanzaku Gai that are marked as urgent; they pay a little better and you can out-and-back to either of them.

"Failing that, I've got a homesteading job. A group of civilians want to set up farms two day's wagon travel south of Leaf. You would need to escort them there and provide security while they construct their initial fortification. 'Security' includes both guarding the perimeter, hunting enough to feed the expedition, and clearing the local area of threats. You won't get bounties for what you kill; that's included in the mission price. Caravans don't move as fast as individual wagons, so it'll take three or four days to get there, then at least a week while they get their act together and build the walls and houses. I'm counting it as short-term because the contract is only for three ninja, so you could rotate it between you. Pays well, and it's fixed-rate so if you can hustle them along the hourly goes up."

The team exchanged glances. "That seems like a limited selection," Keiko said carefully. "Bounty hunting, courier missions, and guard duty for farmers?"

Ito shrugged unapologetically. "Those are the C-ranks I've got right now. If your sensei and the jōnin commander both sign off on you doing a B-rank mission that's fine, but genin don't go on A-ranks." She gestured off to the side where a giant stack of papers balanced precariously on a table against the wall. "Plenty of D-ranks, but those aren't hardly worth it."

"Smart," Kagome-sensei grunted. "No point letting the young ones die for nothing just because they can't be bothered to keep their tags not on fire even after you tell them and tell them and tell them but do they listen? Nooooo."

Ito eyed him carefully for a moment, much the way a civilian might eye a growling dog. "Yes, sir," she said at last. "Very sensible, sir."

"May I see the mission details, please?" Keiko asked, stepping forward with her hand extended. She took the three scrolls from Ito and flicked through them, glancing back and forth for a moment before rolling them up and handing them back.

"I believe the bounties would be the best fit for our skills and available time," Keiko said. "The reported number of steelbacks is improbable; I find it far more likely that some of those are duplicate sightings of a smaller number of animals. Regardless, if there are even a quarter of the indicated number then this mission should provide the best profit to time ratio."

"Good enough for me," Hazō said. "How does this work, ma'am?"

"Works for me too, thanks," Noburi said tartly.

Hazō nodded an apology which Noburi silently accepted, then both boys turned back to the desk chūnin who was failing to suppress her amusement at the byplay.

"Simple enough," she said. "You each make your mark here to indicate that you're accepting the mission. You're all going together?" She waited for the answering chorus of assent. "Okay, well, there's enough of you that I'll mark the mission filled. Don't want too many people combing the same area tripping over each other. How long do you plan to stay out?"

Everyone looked at Keiko.

"Thirty-three hours," she said clearly. "We will return by sundown tomorrow."

Ino's eyebrows shot up. "That's not a lot of time," she said carefully. "Particularly when you're splitting the money five ways, it's unlikely that you'll find enough targets to make a worthwhile amount unless you spend at least two or three days onsite."

"Thirty-three hours," Keiko said firmly.

Ino shrugged again. "Up to you. Anyway, I'll keep the mission off the table until then. Do you want to file a rescue mission before you go? Some teams like to leave a mission on the books saying 'if we aren't back by such-and-such a time, come find us.' You need to leave a bond equal to the total payment for the mission, though."

Noburi laughed. "We'll be fine," he said. "We've done a little hunting in the past."

Ito smiled, the expression rendered horrible by the way the scarring of her cheek stretched her mouth out of shape. "I imagine you have. Okay, good enough. Here's a copy of the details, have at it." She handed a scroll to Keiko and waited politely for them to exit the room before going back to her paperwork. Hazō glanced back as he went out the door; Ito was shaking her head, probably at the folly and arrogance of youth.

o-o-o-o

hungry. still no yumroot, but plenty of dumb biters who thought spines weren't sharp, and dumber meat that didn't know the range spines could fly. not enough big ones, though. still hungry.

bleh, fog. hate fog. can't smell, can't see far. how find yumroot or dumb meat when can't smell or see? how find rest of drift? hungry, too. stab fog? stab, stab! ...nope. still fog.

keep looking for yumroot. get nose close to ground, maybe still smell.

bleh, tired

o-o-o-o

"Back so soon? Did you want to extend y—"

WHUMP

Ito's desk bounced as Kagome unsealed a blood-spotted bag the size of his torso atop it. Several stacks of paper went sliding off onto the floor.

The scarred chūnin stared at the massive bag for a moment then calmly looked at Kagome, who was busy rooting in his backpack. "You know you were only supposed to bring back the ears, right?"

"Of course," Kagome muttered, not looking up as he rummaged. The sealmaster was soaking wet and covered in purple mud. He had been too embarrassed to explain what happened and no one was dumb enough to push him about it; sometimes you just had to learn to live with the pain of unsatisfied curiosity. "What, you think we're stupid? Just because we're not from your stinking village doesn't mean we're idiots. Let me tell you something—"

"It is only the ears, ma'am," Hazō said quickly, leaning forward to untie the neck of the bag. "Mostly steelbacks, but a few dozen chakra voles, the heads off some sort of wriggly snake thing, sections of the nest from some chakra wasps with a fire aura, and a few other things."

Ito looked inside. "Huh."

She lifted the trashcan up onto the desk and started counting ears into it. The final total left her looking impressed.

"How in the world did you find that many that quickly, let alone kill and ear them all?"

Kagome-sensei opened his mouth and then caught himself. Hazō could almost see the memory of their earlier conversation play out in the man's mind.

o-o-o-o

"Kagome-sensei, the desk chūnin is almost certainly going to ask us how we found and killed so many creatures so quickly. Now, what are you going to say to that?"

"Well, I'm certainly not going to tell her about Noburi's mist sensing and mist drain! That would be stupid. Almost as stupid as letting all those tags get soaked and ruined in all the mist."

"I said I was sorry. How was I supposed to know that—"

"Focus please, both of you."

"Sorry."

"Kagome, you were saying...?"

"I'll tell her that it's secret bloodline stuff that she doesn't need to know anything about and she should keep her stinking mouth closed if she knows what's good for her!"

"That answer, while better than what I had anticipated, still leaks the information that our methods were related to bloodlines."

"Oh, um, well, I'll tell her that it didn't have anything to do with bloodlines and—"

"Sensei, that draws attention to the idea of bloodlines again."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I'll tell her that she doesn't need to know any of our secret jutsu tricks and she definitely shouldn't look into them or into what the weather was like or anyth—"

"Probably don't want to mention weather either, Kagome. Don't want them thinking about fog as anything special."

"Okay, let's start over. Sensei, the desk chūnin is almost certainly going to ask us how we found and killed so many steelbacks so quickly. Now, what are you going to say to that?"

"...nothing?"

"Very good."

o-o-o-o

"We're just good hunters, ma'am," Hazō said cheerfully. "How'd we do?"

Ito ran some beads back and forth on an abacus and then jotted down a very comfortable figure. "Take this down to the treasury department," she said, holding out the note. "They'll see about the disbursement."

"Thank you very much, ma'am," Hazō said, taking the paper with a grin. The others added their thanks and the team turned for the door.

o-o-o-o

Mari-sensei looked up from chopping vegetables as the team came in and did a doubletake as she saw Kagome skywalking a few inches above the floor in order to not leave muddy footprints behind him. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," he mumbled.

She studied him with a jaundiced eye. "Okay, well, go scrub up. Dinner is in an hour. Kids, you can help me with prep."

The genin moved into the kitchen without objection, and started the familiar ritual of chopping meat and vegetables. It had been a while since Hazō had used a knife for that instead of using a macerator, but it was a homey task that reminded him of the time before they joined Leaf. Being missing-nin had had its challenges, but it had been simpler. Hunt and gather what you want for dinner, or risk a quick stop at a settlement and put up with Kagome insisting that they move camp by at least sixty miles afterwards. Let Kagome set up the defenses so that you didn't have to worry about anything except flyers and tunnelers. Relax, train, research, spend time with Akane...none of this politics and walking on eggshells lest you accidentally insult the wrong person. No worrying about the future—oh, speaking of which....

"Sensei, what can you tell us about past Chūnin Exams?" Keiko asked, just as Hazō was opening his mouth.

Mari-sensei was busy frying noodles in one pan, vegetables in another, and stirring a sauce in a third, but she seemed to have no trouble fielding the question at the same time.

"They vary from year to year," she said. "Never quite the same twice. The host village chooses all the challenges and is responsible for supplying facilities and being the primary enforcers of the rules, although everyone is expected to cooperate on that front. The visitors never know what to expect until they get there—part of the home-field advantage.

"Killing is strictly forbidden. Every village pays a bond to the host village when they arrive; there's an investigation if one of your ninja kills anyone outside your delegation, gets caught stealing, or whatever. Whichever village is found to have committed the crime forfeits their bond as reparations. At the end of the Exams you get back whatever of your bond is left."

"What if the host village just refuses to give the money back?" Noburi asked from his station, where he was de-feathering a chicken.

Mari-sensei laughed. "Then every single one of the villages comes down on them like a ton of bricks. Besides, no one wants to. Villages can promote anyone they want any time they want; the Exams are really just an excuse for the Kages, daimyos, powerful merchants, yakuza bosses, and whoever else to get together safely and make deals while checking each other out. Flagrantly breaking the rules means you don't get invited to the table next time."

Keiko frowned. "Does that not mean that the Exams are a pointless sham?"

Mari-sensei shook her head. "Oh, no. They're very important. On an individual level, even getting chosen for the Exams is a public statement that your village has real confidence in you, that they think you are among their best. Actually getting promoted at the Exams establishes your reputation. You'll get better missions, more responsibility, more trust from your superiors.

"On a larger scale, the performance of a village's genin establishes or confirms the reputation of that village. A large part of Leaf's reputation is because they have this habit of spitting out legendary ninja, but the rest of it is because they consistently kick ass at the Exams. A strike force can avoid one or two S-rank ninja, but if every single genin from the village is potentially a serious threat then you need to think very carefully before sending that strike force. Villages who do well in the exams get better trade deals and have more leverage in political negotiation. No, the Exams are the exact opposite of a sham."

"I see."

"What can we expect, specifically?" Hazō asked. "Tournament? Written exams? Poetry contests?"

"Heh. No, no poetry contests. Definitely a one-on-one tournament, usually as the last event. They'll define an arena, generally with some terrain inside it—rocks, a patch of trees, whatever—and you slug it out. As to the rest...probably three to five events, then a month-long break for training and partying, then the tournament. Exactly what the events are varies from year to year, but they're always oriented around testing ninja skills. Combat, stealth, espionage, kidnapping, assassination, and leadership are the primary focus. Keiko, that last one is something we'll need to brainstorm about. Some or all of the events will be team events, and it's not uncommon that for at least one of those you'll be assigned to lead a scratch team. Given that Mist knows the weaknesses of the Mori clan and knows that all of us have been adopted into Leaf, I would be surprised if they didn't spring that one on you."

Keiko looked like she was about to vomit. "I can't...."

Mari-sensei smiled comfortingly. "I know. We'll figure it out and find a way to help you. We're ninja; it's pretty much expected that we'll cheat like crazy."

"Speaking of cheating," Hazō said, "what about that 'no killing' rule? Should we expect people to try to cheat there?"

"No, that's the one thing that you can pretty much rely on. Also, you aren't allowed to cripple someone outside a fight. You threw a tag at them in the arena, they didn't dodge fast enough, and they got their hands blown off? Well, better to discover their incompetence now rather than when it would ruin a mission. You walked up to a downed opponent and cut his hands off? You're ejected from the Exams and your village pays a large fraction of their bond.

"At the same time, crippling an opponent means that you lacked the skill to take them down any other way. You obviously won't be useful for kidnapping missions and can't be trusted to capture enemy ninja for interrogation. It will pretty much sink your chances at promotion and it makes your village look bad, so you probably won't be chosen to go again in the future."

Hazō nodded thoughtfully. Keiko had been practicing non-lethal combat for months; she should be able to work around that limitation. Noburi's drain gave him an easy nonlethal takedown if there was water around. Even if there wasn't, he was good enough with his Whip that he could probably manage to just knock someone out in direct combat. This rule was going to require some serious prep for Hazō, though.

"I can make us lower-power explosives," he said. "Should be able to use them for nonlethal if we're careful. And the Goo Bombs and macerators will give us some options."

Keiko wasn't listening. "Lead a team...?" she whispered, eyes wide and staring.

"It's okay, Keiko," Mari-sensei said reassuringly. "I promise, we'll get you through it. Now, hurry up with those peppers, okay? The sauce is almost ready."

o-o-o-o

The day was bright and sunny, if a bit chilly. Lunch had been delicious, and Hazō was lazing on the hillside at Training Ground Four, Keiko and Noburi stretched out beside him. Kagome-sensei and Mari-sensei were both off somewhere doing something or other and there was no real pressure right at the moment. For the last ten minutes he'd been debating which of his many potential courses of training would be the optimal one to work on next. Seal research? Training with the macerator rings that Kagome-sensei had given him? Perhaps tactical discussion with the rest of the team...?

Or maybe just lounging on the stubbly grass, enjoying the sun on his face, and taking a short nap. Yes, that sounded pretty good. He'd train later; the Exams were serious and he needed to treat them as such, but half an hour wouldn't make a difference.

He jerked upright, all traces of relaxation forgotten as Yamanaka Neira walked onto the field, her face set in the unreadable blank mask of the interrogator she was. Mari-sensei trailed a step behind her, looking equally serious.

"Good morning, children," Yamanaka said coldly, coming to a halt in front of them and slightly uphill. She settled gracefully down into a crosslegged position, hands resting on her knees as she eyed them like a bunch of bugs. "Your teacher has asked me to help you with psychological warfare preparation."

"What?" Noburi blurted.

"You guys will kick ass and take names at the Exams," Mari-sensei said, settling down beside them. "The fact that you're going to the Exams is partly because you're Jiraiya's clan and having you there is politically useful. The fact that you're going to be competing is because all three of you are incredible prodigies. You are the best students I have ever worked with, and it shows; all of you are significantly more powerful than anyone your age should be, you learn faster, and you work together better than most teams.

"That doesn't mean the Exams will be easy. Like I said last night, the Exams are mostly about politics and building reputation for the villages. Only the best are sent, so the raw caliber of opponent you face is going to be high, and most ninja spend three to six years as genin before being considered for promotion. You're going to be competing against kids years older than you. Even if they aren't as gifted, they will make up for it with sheer experience."

She laughed and tossed her head so that her hair, freshly brushed and shimmering sunset-red in the sun, bounced dismissively. "Having said all that, I still expect you to go through most of them like crap through a goose. The main thing I'm worried about is psychological warfare. The fact that we're from there means that your clans are going to be on the field. They'll know exactly what buttons to push to make you angry and shake your confidence. I've asked Neira to help us with this. She's going to play the red team; she'll be trash-talking each of you in turn, just the way your opponents will. The rest of us are going to be blue team, helping you sort through what she says and find the reasons why it's wrong. Being exposed to it now, in a safe environment with your team around you, will make it easier to handle in the moment. Okay?"

"Do all teams train like this?" Noburi asked, sounding sick.

"Only the ones who want to win."

"Noburi, if you wish to bow out of this training, you can," Yamanaka said. "No one would blame you and, honestly, it might be a good idea. If I may offer an honest assessment, you're unlikely to go far in the Exams. You're too fat to compete with taijutsu types like Hazō, so if anyone manages to close with you you'll be defeated instantly. Having watched you train I can confidently say that you aren't fast enough to keep up with people who have been more serious about their conditioning. Your skills with your Water Whip are good for your age but you're a one-trick pony. You are effective as part of your team since Keiko and Hazō can cover your weaknesses, but as an individual fighter you will not survive for long. You have no mobility techniques to allow you to evade area attacks effectively, Hōzuki's Mantle will not be sufficient protection against a competent Earth user, and, again, you are useless against a decent melee specialist."

"That is such crap," Hazō said. "Noburi, ignore her. She's full of shit." His stomach was somewhere down around his toes looking for an escape hatch and he was quietly swearing to himself in the name of the Sage that he would never, ever, ever again ask Mari-sensei for extra training. What was she thinking, bringing a Yamanaka in—and Yamanaka Neira at that? He could only hope that Noburi never found out that this had been Hazō's brilliant idea.

Noburi swallowed and straightened, looking back at Yamanaka defiantly. "Thanks, Hazō, but I've got this. I'm not going to let you get to me, lady."

"Good," Mari-sensei said. "Let's go over those one at a time. Noburi, you've been uncomfortable about your body as long as I've known you. Yes, you are a little heavier than most ninja your age, but you've blown it out of proportion in your mind. You're built stocky instead of wiry and you still have a little of your baby fat. You've traded a lot of that for muscle since we've been together—"

Noburi blinked. "I have?"

"Yes, you doofus!" Hazō snapped, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Sage's beard, do you even know how a mirror works?"

Mari-sensei laughed. "Don't worry, you'll shed the rest of it over the next couple of years. Don't expect to end up skinny like Neji; you'll always be built like a brick, but soon enough it's going to be a very muscular brick. Jiraiya's like that too, except he's taller so it's not quite as obvious." She gave him a bawdy wink. "I'll also note that 'built like a brick' really works for a lot of girls.

"As to your skills, Neira's understating it. It's true that you have a limited selection of jutsu, but so do most genin. You're good enough with your Water Whip that you can generally handle single opponents and Hōzuki's Mantle protects you from being ganged up on. As to speed, well, those Goo Bomb seals that Jiraiya gave us will go a long way towards fixing that one. Doesn't matter how fast an opponent is if his feet are stuck to the ground."

"A fair counter," Yamanaka said, nodding to Mari-sensei. "Of course, I had not gotten to the primary reason he should drop out." She turned a merciless gaze on Noburi. "You are a coward."

"Excuse me?!"

"You are a coward," she repeated calmly. "It's not an issue during normal team operations, since your fear of being shamed in front of your teammates is usually stronger than your fear of conflict. Unfortunately for you, at some point you'll need to stand on your own two feet, and you'll crumple. I've seen a thousand genin like you, Noburi; you became a ninja because your family expected it, not because you had the Will of Fire burning inside you. You've drifted along since then, not working any harder than necessary. You haven't even chosen your own path as a ninja; most of your training has been whatever Hazō suggested. You wanted the leadership of the team because it would have stroked your ego, but Hazō pushed you into a beta male role almost without you knowing it was happening...and you find that you're comfortable there because in your secret heart you know that you don't have the intelligence and the steel for command. Part of the Exams will require you to lead others; it will be immediately obvious that you cannot.

"On a personal level, I've seen how you flinch away from feints when sparring with Hazō because you fear pain. I've also seen how you look nervous every time Keiko wants to spar with practice kunai. When she wants to work with Hazō his face is determined; he's smart enough to know that he's weak against ranged fighters and seeks to remedy that. You avoid it, preferring instead to make excuses about how you need to focus on your jutsu."

"Fuck you, lady," Noburi snarled. "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I'm not afraid of anything."

Neira offered him a mocking head-bow. "And yet you grow angry when I say it. People don't get angry at things they believe are false, boy." She paused, then nodded as a thought visibly occurred to her. "I will grant that it might not be entirely your fear of pain that makes you so reluctant to train with Keiko. I'm sure that part of it is fear of being beaten by the girl you still have that unrequited crush on." She smiled gently. "You really do need to let go of that, you know. As a bride of the Nara, she is destined for a better man than you."

Noburi glared at her silently.

"Hazō was correct earlier," Keiko said, the words filled with ice and steel. "You are full of shit. I have seen Noburi stand between two groups of enemy ninja without batting an eye and calm them down with a few words and a smile—twice, in fact. I have seen him doing surgery seconds after a brutal combat without a tremor in his fingers. I have seen him stand his ground before more chakra beasts than you've ever heard of, all without flinching. Furthermore, the idea that he has a crush on me is ludic—" She broke off as she caught a glimpse of Noburi's beet-red face.

...Clap...clap...clap, went Yamanaka's bony hands. "Very impressive, girl. You managed to completely miss the feelings of a boy you've been sharing a camp with for eighteen months. As to your defense of him...well, it's not much of one, is it? Chakra beasts aren't a real threat to a competent ninja, even if those ninja need to protect a bunch of genin. And I notice that you say he 'calmed those ninja down', not that he actually defeated them. I find it unlikely that pretty words will get him very far in the Chūnin exams." She waved airily. "But, fine, let's grant that he managed to talk down a few small-town hick ninja and somehow this will be useful. You, by contrast, stood your ground in front of the murderous Boss Summon of the Pangolins and forced him to change his mind about you. Hazō beat three ninja in hand-to-hand combat...although, granted, neither you nor Noburi saw that since those three had already defeated you without themselves being wounded. Tied you to a tree, I believe? Tell me, were you awake when they put their hands on you? When they lifted you and held you against the trunk so they could wind the ropes around you? Did they hold you by the arms or the shoulders?"

Keiko's breathing was fast and Hazō watched her swallow convulsively.

"Not that it matters," Yamanaka said. "If it would be smart for Noburi to drop out, it's absolutely essential for you. Noburi will probably wash out early and waste one of Leaf's slots, but there is an excellent chance that you will be actively harmful to our reputation. The essence of being a chūnin is the ability to lead, and you lack that to a degree even more profound than most Mori. Your sister didn't; based on her dossier she is sunny and intelligent, with charisma to spare. If she had been sent on that mission in your place things would be very different, but what we actually got was you."

She paused, frowning in thought. "Hm...Ami is only a little older than you, isn't she? Probably about chūnin age, actually. I wonder if you'll end up competing against her." She smiled sadly and shook her head. "That would be a bad fight. The latest intelligence reports say that she's both furious and disappointed in you for the way you betrayed your family. You really should drop out, Keiko. Wait until next year or the year after; Ami will have been promoted by then so you won't have to worry about seeing the look in her eyes as she comes at you across the field. Or face the humiliation of losing to someone who can do everything you can but better."

"That's enough, Neira," Mari-sensei said sharply. "Keiko, look at me."

Keiko was pale and shaking, silent tears running down her paralyzed face. She turned to Mari-sensei woodenly, all of her usual grace lost.

"Keiko, Neira is playing on your fears, and she is lying through her teeth," Mari-sensei said. "Leaf has no dossier on Ami, Neira is just guessing what's going to hurt you the most. I know Ami. I know Ami, and all of your cousins, and your parents. I studied them before we left Mist, because I wanted to know what sort of genin we were being assigned. Ami does not hate you. In fact, I will bet you twenty thousand ryo, which is all the money I happen to possess at the moment, that she has been loudly defending you ever since we left. I'm certain that she misses you and that she will be delighted to see you again. She'll call you 'runt' and make a joke about how it took you long enough to get back. If she's told in advance that you're coming then she'll probably have a bunch of candied sesame seeds in her pocket when you meet."

Keiko's eyes stayed locked on her teacher's face but she said nothing. She sniffled, her cheek quivering as she fought back sobs.

"Your parents will undoubtedly be there too," Mari-sensei said, rolling her eyes in amused disgust. "Probably just as stick-up-the-butt frigid as ever."

Noburi snorted. Keiko's stomach spasmed as a laugh ran into a sob and fought to the death. Her face cracked into a watery and uncertain smile.

"That's better," Mari-sensei said. "Yes, they'll be there, and yes, they'll be their usual cold and standoffish selves. But! They will be flummoxed. Baffled. Boggled, even. I bet they'll spend the entire Exams deep in the Mori trance, desperately trying to figure out how they could possibly have been so earth-shatteringly stupid as to miss your potential. Judged worthy of a summoning scroll by Pantsā of the Adamant Scales? Adopted by a Sannin who is now the Hokage of Leaf? Their confidence will be shaken to the core at the profound depths of their error."

"They're right to be disappointed," Keiko said, her voice tiny. "All of those things just happened around me. I didn't really do anything except stand there."

"Oh, bosh, girl!" Yamanaka said disapprovingly. "Stop wallowing in self-pity! Honestly, how can you be so smart and insightful about everyone and everything else and so bloody stupid about yourself?"

"Hey!" Noburi said.

Yamanaka waved him to stillness. "Oh, be quiet. Honestly, girl, apply that magnificent brain of yours. How do you find the truth about a problem that you're emotionally invested in?"

Keiko blinked in surprise at the change of tone and topic. "You...set aside the emotions. Recognize that you are experiencing motivated cognition and make allowances for it. Simulate someone else and see how they would analyze the situation."

"Very good. Now, sit up straight and pay attention."

Keiko's spine straightened by pure reflex.

"The following exercise is a skills evaluation as part of your career development," Yamanaka said calmly. "You will listen to the following personnel jacket and provide an assessment.

"There is a genin kunoichi of Leaf who is being considered for promotion. She is young for the position of chūnin, but her sensei has recommended her in the strongest terms. Her case has been reviewed by senior Yamanaka officials to evaluate mental stability and loyalty. They are satisfied with the results. The Hokage has reviewed her case file and approved her assignment to the Exams.

"Despite her low rank and young age, this genin has more wilderness survival experience than most ninja twice her age. She is an accomplished ranged weapons user. She has made the effort to master non-lethal takedowns so she is useful for capture missions and is able to take prisoners. She mastered a difficult Wind-based mobility jutsu that significantly enhances her combat capabilities by allowing her to control range. At one point Jiraiya offered her an open-ended reward for some very good work she and her team had done; he was amazed when she had the self-awareness to simply ask what he thought would be best. He mentioned to me that this young lady was the first person, ever, to spend one of those rewards solely on his advice. Jiraiya is a hard man to impress, yet he was impressed by her wisdom.

"Finally, this young ninja possesses a bloodline that makes her frighteningly good at tactical analysis, yet even without it she is capable of keeping up in conversation with Nara Shikaku, not needing to ask questions or receive explanations. She has significant social discomfort, yet she has made friends in Leaf, although she may not be aware of that. Furthermore, she has inspired fierce loyalty in her team, to the extent that her squadmates find themselves mentally fondling the idea of murdering a mean old lady who criticized her. Please provide your evaluation of this kunoichi and an assessment of whether she is an appropriate candidate for the Chūnin exams."

"That's not...I'm not—"

"Bup!" A bony finger leaped into the air. "We are not talking about you right now, young lady. We are talking about a different Leaf kunoichi. If she happens to bear some passing similarity to you then that is merest coincidence. Now, continue."

Keiko paused. "She seems...adequately skilled, albeit narrowly focused. Ranged weapons, movement, and social awkwardness mean that she will not be useful for anything aside from combat missions. My inability to plan—"

"Ahem."

Keiko flinched. "She will not be useful for non-combat missions, and therefore it would be better to give the slot in the Exams to someone else, someone more well-rounded."

"Don't be ridiculous, girl. Do you know how many genin could qualify as 'well-rounded'? There's probably one or two, but I can't bring them to mind. Young ninja don't survive by being well-rounded, girl. They survive by being extremely good at one particular thing and trusting their Hokage not to use them for missions that they aren't qualified for. Well-roundedness is something that comes with experience, after you survive your first few dozen missions. Expecting someone a year or two out of the Academy to be even remotely well-rounded...well, you might as well expect the Sage of Six Paths to return and teach history at civilian school."

Yamanaka sat quietly, waiting in silence for Keiko to digest what she'd been told. After a moment, when it became clear that the girl was not going to speak, the old woman turned to Hazō.

"So," she said, a smile spreading across her face. "Kurosawa Hazō, now Gōketsu Hazō."

Hazō braced himself for what was coming.

"Of course, you were never really a Kurosawa, were you? 'By darkness unmoved'—isn't that the Kurosawa clan motto? Your clan holds the line, protecting civilization. Yes?"

"Yes...?"

"Your mother didn't live up to that motto," Yamanaka said bluntly. "She chose sex over the ideal of her ancestors. She couldn't be bothered to fulfill her responsibilities as clan heir, caring more for her own pleasures in the bed of a nobody who never even made jōnin before dying on a random, unimportant mission.

"Unfortunately, she seems to have inculcated that irresponsibility in you. You are clearly gifted, but erratic and unreliable. You have brilliant ideas and talk a good game about wanting to uplift the civilians, yet you clearly care more about looking smart and getting the credit than about making a difference. You've repeatedly boasted of how you can use your jutsu to build nice, safe walls for civilians; how many civilians have been protected by such walls? Have you ever actually done anything towards this uplift concept that you supposedly care about so much?"

"I built walls for the lake village in Iron," Hazō said.

"Oh, well done. Well done indeed. One village, over the course of a year and a half of wandering." She waved her hand dismissively as he opened his mouth to protest. "Yes, yes, you didn't have the jutsu the whole time. If you truly cared about protecting civilians then you could have built walls with an axe and a shovel. No, what you care about is the idea of saving people, because it allows you to think of yourself as heroic.

"That overinflated ego and lack of self-awareness is standard for teenage boys, although not usually as pronounced as it is in you. It's not entirely your fault; you are surrounded by people who stroke your ego by being impressed at your stated ideals, without ever demanding that you back it up by acting on those ideals.

"That irresponsibility shows in every aspect of your life. You have some ability to adapt existing seals, yet you recklessly work on things beyond your ability, never stopping to consider if your sensei—a paranoid hermit with no experience at teaching—is actually capable of offering valid assessments of your ability. You have torn holes in reality not once but twice, something that competent sealmasters usually manage to avoid.

"Of course, your fecklessness also reveals itself in your complete lack of concern over security. Your team has become so used to cleaning up your OPSEC messes that they don't even get angry anymore."

Hazō clamped down on his face and body, the Iron Nerve dictating that they show only the calm peace that they had displayed the first time he successfully meditated.

"Let's leave the OPSEC failures and the sloppy sealwork aside," Yamanaka said. "Let us instead review your history here in Leaf. One of the first things you did was to attack a jōnin in broad daylight, and leak the fact that the Iron Nerve allows for perfect reproduction of written materials. That, of course, leads the intelligent person to wonder if this reproduction ability applies to seals as well."

The Iron Nerve prevented Hazō from visibly wincing, but inside his entire body was trying to tie itself in knots.

"You then managed to threaten a Leaf doctor and insult one of the most powerful men in the world. Even better, you are too arrogant to understand what you had done, even after it was explained to you. From what Jiraiya has told me, Mari gave you a clear and explicit analysis of what you did wrong, yet you rejected it, refusing to accept that anything you said could be interpreted as a threat and asserting that it was everyone else's fault, not yours. Your apology was born of a desire not to be punished again instead of a real desire to improve.

"This fundamental lack of understanding and inability to model the world is endemic to your behavior. You come up with the idea for a major military invention—of course, you lack the ability to actually implement it, but I'm sure you believe that to be trivial. After all, you're an 'idea man', aren't you? Surely all that's required is to generate important concepts? There are others who can do all the hard work of turning your so-brilliant and revolutionary ideas into useful technology; the important part is that you get the credit. Oh, and it's vitally important that everyone listen to and immediately embrace your 'uplift' concept. Because obviously the world that has been built by generations of intelligent and hardworking people is fundamentally stupid." She chuckled. "I must say, it's adorable of you to think that your ideas are so novel and so important." She glanced over at the red-headed jōnin to Hazō's left. "You did a good job on his taijutsu training, Mari, but you really shouldn't have been so lax about basic socialization. I understand that you never had any desire to teach genin and just got stuck with them, but you still could have done a bit more. It's probably better for everyone that you've given up on teaching them, since now we can place them with some competent teachers. I'm sure that one of them can train Hazō in minimal social skills."

Fury snarled in Hazō's heart, more at the syrupy-sweet denigration of his teacher and his mother than of himself, but he allowed no trace of it to reach his body. He focused instead on his breathing, mentally stepping outside of his own head so that he could 'watch' himself breathe calmly and evenly.

Yamanaka eyed him for a moment, then nodded satisfaction. "Good," she said. "Surprisingly good, in fact. Based on your dossier I do not believe for a moment that you're able to maintain that level of calm on your own, so I suspect you're using your bloodline somehow. Which says interesting things about its capabilities, but we'll leave that for another day."

She looked around the circle. "You did well, each of you. Many genin can be goaded into actually attacking me. The three of you managed to confine yourself to a few curse words, and you defended each other even when I mentioned interpersonal challenges among you.

"The thing to take away from this lesson is that each of the things I said was a tiny kernel of truth wrapped in an enormous lie. Everyone has flaws—personally, I have a superiority complex and a desire for control which together result in difficulty forming long-term relationships." She half-smiled, the gesture tinged with self-mockery. "I'm working on it.

"Noburi, Mari was right in what she said: you are in fact a more than competent ninja and your physique is perfectly acceptable. Keiko, you are an intelligent and skilled young woman with a level of emotional maturity that is impressive in some areas but lacking in others due to your unwarranted self-hate. Hazō, you are frighteningly creative and have good leadership skills alongside your sealing and taijutsu. You do need to work on OPSEC, but I've seen worse."

She rose to her feet with an easy grace that belied her age. "I am certain that today's session was uncomfortable," she said calmly. "Nonetheless, I hope it will help when you face real enemies who know your secrets and really do want to hurt you. Personally, I'm confident that all of you will do fine." She bowed shallowly, the gesture of a clan elder offering acknowledgement to skilled clan children, then turned and walked away.

Hazō looked around the circle uneasily and found the others doing the same.

"Noburi," Keiko said hesitantly. "What she said about your feelings towards me...."

Noburi jumped up. "Hey, speaking of what she said, let's spar! After all, I need to work on dealing with ranged fighters!" He turned and practically ran down onto the field.

Keiko watched him go, her face utterly lost. Eventually she climbed to her feet and went to join him, practice kunai appearing in her hands as she moved.

XP AWARD: 15

This update covered three days.

The plan was nicely organized, fun to write for, and active. It provided lots of plot hooks and opportunities for interesting interpersonal drama. (Although, sadly, no punching.)

Training plans have been implemented; you have all learned one point in some jutsu, the specifics of which will be decided later.

Author's Notes:

You have acquired enough money to pay the clan's bills for a week.

Your personal expenses—food, clothing, etc—are minimal. Beyond that, all ninja receive a small stipend that isn't enough to live on by itself, but in combination with a few low-risk missions per month it's fine. The real money sink that you're dealing with is the payments for the loan that Jiraiya took out to buy the clan compound. The next largest is 'political slush', meaning the money that Jiraiya and Mari need to spend on wining and dining important people, buying expensive clothes and gifts, etc.

You depopulated a sizable area of chakra beasts and that area was unusually target-rich due to the migration currently in progress. It is unlikely that you would make nearly as much on a second attempt.

The other missions that were described are still available if you choose to do them. The courier missions would each take about half a day and pay roughly two days of clan expenses. Doing both will cover four days of clan expenses but you won't be able to do the complete loop (Leaf -> Keishi -> Tanzaku Gai -> Leaf) in one day, so you'll need to spend the night in the wilderness. The homesteading mission is project-based—you get paid about two weeks of clan expenses but you're stuck there until certain minimums have been met, namely: a fortified wall, secure housing for all members of the expedition, claimed lands free of significant threats.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 16, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Velorien · Aug 18, 2017

Chapter 151: Thicker than Water

"Welcome to Kitagawa's Completely Reliable Goods!"

The suspiciously jolly fat man behind the counter beckoned them in with a big smile on his face.

"What can I do for you today, honourable ninja?"

Keiko reluctantly stepped forward to take the lead. "We have 350 steelback spines and approximately one ton of steelback meat to sell."

Surprise flickered across the man's face, but only briefly. "Is that so? How delightful. I'm afraid I don't know of anybody working with steelback spines at the moment, so I can't help you there. As for steelback meat, it is something of an acquired taste and will be hard to shift. I would not be able to offer you much to recompense you for your commendable work slaying the beasts."

He tapped a finger against his double chin as if pondering.

"But on the other hand, it behoves any sensible man in these fraught times to show gratitude and respect to our ninja protectors. Yes, it may contract my profit margins somewhat, but to support our troops I can take the meat off your hands for 60,000 ryō. No, I may even be able to go as high as 65,000. What say you, honourable ninja?"

Keiko: Deal-Making vs Kitagawa: Deal-Making said:
Class B Success

"By no means," Keiko said seriously. "It would bring shame upon my clan were I to exploit my position as a shinobi for personal gain. That is the very opposite of what the Gōketsu stand for."

The man frowned, as if trying to remember where he'd heard the name.

Keiko bowed.

"We shall carry these items back to our father the Hokage, and tell him how you, Master Kitagawa, opened our eyes to their true worthlessness. I am certain he will appreciate both your candour and your loyalty."

The man's eyes bulged as if attempting to escape their sockets and start new lives far away under assumed names.

"O—Oh, steelbacks. I thought you said 'squealbats'. Pathetic creatures, the squealbats. No value to anyone at all. No indeed. But steelbacks, those are highly nutritious. Completely different deal. I would be delighted to offer you 100,000 ryō for this steelback meat, Your Highness."

"'My lady' will do," Keiko said primly. "On behalf of the Gōketsu Clan, I accept your offer."

"Here you are, my lady," the sweating Kitagawa offered her a pouch of ryō. "And please, I am a humble man. There is no need to describe this transaction to the Hokage. None at all."

-o-

"I think it's time we addressed the chakra mammoth in the room," Mari-sensei announced.

She, Hazō, Keiko and Noburi had gathered in one of the mansion's cozier living rooms (i.e. one which contained furniture). Unfortunately, thanks to the clan's financial situation, they were still in the middle of getting the splatters of mysterious purple fluid off the walls, but on the plus side the salesman had assured them that no one had gone missing in the area for years, and anything that seemed suspicious was just ordinary decor reflecting the previous owner's unusual tastes.

"Which chakra mammoth is that?" Hazō asked.

"Take your pick," Mari-sensei said wryly. "Having a bunch of very important things that you refuse to talk about is all part and parcel of adult life, kids. This one, though, needs talking about now.

"Your families are in Mist. Just like we did that training to make sure you aren't caught off guard by psychological warfare, we need to make sure you're not going to be left an emotional wreck by seeing your family."

"Do you still have family in Mist, Mari-sensei?" Keiko asked.

"Depends on if my elderly mother survived the shame of her only daughter turning missing-nin," Mari-sensei said with a cheerfulness that sounded flawlessly genuine. "Not that it matters. I'm not going to Mist."

"What?!"

"Duh, Hazō. Somebody's got to hold the fort here while our glorious leader's gallivanting off to parts unknown. If we all go, who's going to stop the Hyūga from trying to pull the carpet out from under the Gōketsu, or make sure Nara Shikaku doesn't get too big for his boots? And then there's Kagome. Hands up if you think taking Kagome into a diplomatically sensitive hostile environment is a good idea. Or if you think leaving him on his own in Leaf is a great improvement.

"I'm not exactly over the moon about leaving you kids to your own devices either, but this is just how it is when you're Hokage. The First had Tobirama, the future Second, to watch his back while he was away for the Five Kage Summit and so on. The Second could be wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. The Third had his clan look out for his interests while he was away. The Fourth could count on the Third. Jiraiya's the first Hokage to be this socially isolated—he barely even spent time in Leaf until he got the hat, and it's coming back to haunt him."

"What about the Nara?" Keiko asked. "They have invested significant resources in Jiraiya's regime. It would be foolish of them to undermine it in his absence."

"And I'm sure that's fine if Jiraiya wants to come back to find he's become a puppet ruler with Nara Shikaku standing behind the throne with a big stick. Don't forget, Shikaku is an ally, not a friend. He's going to do what's best for the Nara, then what's best for Leaf, then what's best for the Ino-Shika-Chō, and then maybe if he has the time and energy left he might consider helping out the Gōketsu.

"Also, plans within plans. I've been in Leaf for a matter of weeks, and I can already tell you not to assume the Nara aren't going to do something just because it seems stupid or counter-productive to an outsider. They trade short-term losses for long-term gains like the Inuzuka trade personal hygiene for power.

"But enough about our impending doom in Leaf. Let's talk about our impending doom in Mist. Hazō, you're up first. Do you think the Kurosawa are going to want to see you?"

"I'm not sure," Hazō admitted. "On the one hand, I guess they must have taken quite the reputational hit from me turning missing-nin. On the other hand, I'm the Hokage's son now, and it would be strange if they couldn't find an opportunity in that.

"Aunt Ren came to see me once, right after I passed the Academy entrance exam. She told me that the Kurosawa weren't going to blame me for my mother's sins, and that if I ever wanted to leave her and be accepted as a member of the main family, I would be welcomed with open arms. I was so stunned I didn't even yell at her, which in retrospect was probably a good thing."

"I'm going to guess you're not a fan of the clan, then."

"You know I'm not," Hazō said bitterly. "Everything my mum and I have had to suffer through in our lives is their fault. We had to grow up poor and alone because they were too proud to accept my dad. Because they cast out their own daughter. We were supposed to be family, and they treated us like yesterday's garbage. You'd think I'd have some loyalty to my bloodline, deep down, but I don't. I really really don't."

Mari-sensei nodded sympathetically. "Thing is, you're going to have to play nice with them anyway. They might not want to meet you—there's no Mizukage right now, and if the Kurosawa are manoeuvring to grab the hat, it's possible that they'll try to appeal to the hardliners by distancing themselves from pro-Leaf elements like you. But if they go the other way, which I personally think would be smarter, then they'll want to start making amends so they can use you as their in to Leaf politics. Also, then they get to pump you for information, including how many bloodline secrets you've given away."

"Won't I get an escort? I'm assuming that'll stop them from talking about anything that sensitive."

Mari-sensei shook her head. "I wouldn't bet on it. Not for those meetings. They'll claim it's clan business. We can argue it isn't, because you're adopted into another clan now, but if they force the issue, that's a diplomatic incident at the worst possible time. Jiraiya might talk a big game, but dealing with a bunch of separate clans instead of one strong leader has its costs as well. Namely, if you piss off individual clan leaders, they're going to pay you back with interest during negotiations, whereas the Mizukage wouldn't care about the clans' pride except insofar as it impacted on him or on the village as a whole.

"They're not going to kidnap or murder you or anything. That's not the danger. But you need to be ready to face them if you have to… because nothing is harder than defying the people who brought you up." For a second, Mari-sensei seemed small, and very far away.

"Sorry. Moving on. The one place where there will definitely be escorts, from Mist if nothing else, is if you go talk to your mother, Hazō. They're not stupid."

"Not if," Hazō said firmly. "When. Of course I'm going to see her. And if they refuse, they can have all the diplomatic incident they want."

Mari-sensei sighed. "Yeah, saw that coming. They're not going to refuse. They'll have seen this encounter coming from the moment they heard you were joining Leaf, and they'll have planned for it. But that's not the real issue.

"You've probably realised by now, but your mother became a security risk the moment she heard you were alive. And combat power isn't the real reason jōnin are dangerous to lose. They have clearance. They have operational know-how. They have endless experience of how things work in Mist on every level, more than any deep cover agent could gather. If there's a risk of a jōnin turning missing-nin, and if they decide that risk's gotten too high… I'm sorry, Hazō, but your mother might no longer be alive."

Hazō shut his eyes tight against the tears. Yes, he knew. Of course he knew. All this time he'd been running around on pointless missions instead of trying to rescue her. If he'd failed to save her… If she'd died because of him…

"We don't know," Mari-sensei said gently. "We don't know. Losing a jōnin is a big hit at the best of times, and executing one pre-emptively is dangerous for morale. Even if they couldn't let her out of the village, they could still put her in an advanced instructor position or something, so they could free up somebody trustworthy for the As and Bs. The Mizukage never trusted anybody, so he had a very… pragmatic view of how to allocate his resources. We don't know.

"It's the worst-case scenario, and that means you have to be ready for it. Not because we really think it's what will happen, but because being ready for the worst-case scenario is how you survive as a ninja. If it wasn't Yamanaka Day, Kagome would be here telling you the same thing.

"So take some time to think about that over the next couple of weeks, but also think about what'll happen if you can see her. How will she react?"

"She'll be happy," Hazō said immediately. "She knows me. She'd never believe I was really a traitor."

He stopped dead at those words.

"Except, from her perspective," he said slowly, "I am a traitor. Maybe not when I ran away, but now… I'm responsible for Mist losing the war. I joined their worst enemies and used my talents to give them a decisive advantage, knowing how it would be used. And I can't tell her that because I can't talk about skywalkers. I… I guess that's for the best. If she thought I was a traitor, after everything…"

He fell silent. There was nothing he could add to that. He'd never thought of his actions in those terms before. He didn't especially care what the people in Mist thought of him, not now he'd been outside long enough to realise how screwed up the place was. Except now he realised he did care. His mother was a loyal Mist ninja, had always been a loyal Mist ninja. How many of her friends had died in that fateful battle? How did she feel about watching her village plummet from superpower to the brink of annihilation? How would she feel if she knew that her son was responsible for everything?

Keiko stirred next to him. "It is easy, but unwise, to allow your negative emotions to force you into tunnel vision. I believe there is an angle you are ignoring.

"Your mother was almost single-handedly responsible for your upbringing, correct?"

"Yes." Single-handedly responsible for raising a traitor. How would she feel about that, when she eventually found out?

"Then would it be fair to say that she is largely responsible for your value system and general outlook?"

"I… suppose," Hazō said slowly. Was Keiko deliberately making him feel worse?

"By logical extension, is she not also partially responsible for your Uplift ideals, or the values that ultimately gave rise to them?"

"You could say that." The idea of Uplift hadn't crystallised until his missing-nin travels. He'd had to see the wider world around him, in all its brokenness and injustice and incredible untapped potential, before he could realise what he wanted to do with his life. It wasn't something he could ever have conceived of as a Mist genin. It wasn't the kind of thought that could exist in Mist.

And yet… even in Mist, he must have had something inside him that made his mind fertile soil for such ideas. Otherwise why would his journey transform him the way it hadn't transformed other missing-nin, his team included?

Hazō thought about his mum. He thought about her strength and her kindness. He thought about his drive to optimise that had gotten him in so much trouble at the Academy. She'd been exasperated at his inability to keep his mouth shut, but she'd never condemned him. She'd never told him to stick to the traditional ways. Instead, she'd been quietly proud of him, and when he came up with a new way of doing something at home, or during their private training, she'd test it a few times herself, and then either add it to her arsenal of moves or explain to him why it wouldn't work.

Would she have wanted him to apply that mindset to the world at large? He couldn't say for sure. His mum had not been the type to go out and look for opportunities to do good. When she saw incompetence or iniquity around her, she would reflexively take charge and make sure things were done right, but for the most part, she kept to herself and expected the rest of the world to do the same.

She'd been important in the clan, Hazō had gathered by reading between the lines over the years. Perhaps back then, this fire had been going inside her all the time, whereas now it was only a spark that the right wind could temporarily fan. But when it was fanned, nothing could put it out. Hazō wasn't like that—he didn't take one look at a situation and decide how he wanted it to develop and promptly come up with a plan of action and… um.

Maybe she would understand. He wanted to optimise the world. It was quite simple when you looked at it like that. He wanted to take a thing that wasn't working the way it was supposed to, and mess with it until it worked as well as possible. It was just that the thing happened to be human society, and it working happened to involve world peace and universal happiness and prosperity.

His mum might not have given him that drive, but she had encouraged him to embrace it. When she looked at what he had done, at what he had become, he dared to believe that she would recognise her son for who he was. That she would recognise whatever harm he'd done not as betrayal but as an imperfect human being trying to do his best.

"Thank you, Keiko," he said simply. "That was the right question."

"Keiko's the best," Mari-sensei agreed. "Also the cutest. I'd say I want to take her home with me, but hey, mission already accomplished.

"More seriously, Hazō, you're overthinking this. If I were a mother, it would be enough for me to know that my kids were alive, and healthy, and strong enough to face whatever the world had to throw at them."

She looked slowly between Hazō, Keiko and Noburi. Her mouth opened slightly, then closed again.

"I… Moving on. There are going to be things you can't talk about with her, not while Mist is listening in. You get that."

"Yeah," Hazō said. "No skywalkers. No Leaf politics. Nothing about the Hokage or Akatsuki or anything else Jiraiya would want to be the one to break to Mist."

"Yep. Basically, you don't want to tell them anything about Leaf that they might find useful. Not right now. You can talk about high standards of living, and libraries, and the printing press isn't a secret either. But if you think back to what you knew about Leaf when you lived in Mist, that's a good guideline. I know you want to tell your mother absolutely everything, but that has to wait until the diplomatic situation changes. A lot. Remember that if she's still alive, Mist certainly isn't going to harm a hair on her head while she has a blood tie to the Hokage's clan.

"One other thing that might not be obvious: OPSEC covers our pre-Leaf experiences as well. The Liberator fiasco, Cold Stone Killers, Isan—Sage's balls, definitely Isan—you don't want to give Mist anything that can harm your reputation, and remember that the guys running Mist propaganda are hardcore. As my old counter-interrogation mentor used to say, 'If in doubt, leave it out'. And that goes for all of you.

"OK, I think we pretty much have Hazō covered. Keiko, you're next."

"I do not expect my family to contact me," Keiko said neutrally. "I have always been a disappointment to them, and recent events have not changed this. For obvious reasons, the Mori are not Mizukage candidates, nor do I expect them to use me for diplomatic purposes without a Mizukage to direct their efforts. I do not possess any secret clan arts that cannot be matched by the expertise of the Nara, and my knowledge of the Frozen Skein is not so in-depth that they should fear its revelation."

"And if they do? Invite you to see them, I mean?"

"Then I shall attend. But there are no real grounds for conversation between us. It has been a long time since my parents and I had anything to talk about, and I do not expect this to change. They are practically-minded individuals, and unlikely to wish to be regaled with tales of missing-nin adventures. Nor do I anticipate them to be significant sources of psychological pressure. They have had little emotional involvement in my upbringing for years, and whatever hunger for their approval I may feel has been dulled by time—and by positive bonding experiences for which I have you to thank."

Mari-sensei gave her a piercing look. "Remember what I said about chakra mammoths in the room?"

Keiko was silent for several seconds.

"Ami," she said heavily.

"Ami," Mari-sensei agreed. "Talk to me, Keiko."

"She must hate me," Keiko said, her voice trembling. "I promised her I would return. I promised her. She will refuse to see me, so as to symbolically sever the link between us once and for all. She does not need a sister like me. I do not deserve a sister like her."

"Keiko, you know that's not true," Noburi said urgently. "There is nothing wrong with you. You've made the best choices you could, just like the rest of us. Don't beat yourself up over them now."

"My best choices were not good enough." Keiko said. "If Ami were in my place, she would have found solutions. She would not have been deceived by Shikigami, nor would she have found herself wandering aimlessly across the continent, wasting her skills and allowing herself to be lost in self-pity. She would certainly not have indulged herself in the most foolish, childish infatuation in the history of shinobi romance.

"Ami always believed in me. No matter how many times I demonstrated my mediocrity, she somehow always managed to find something in me to love. She made me feel that I could be of value to another person. If you believe that my feelings for Mari-sensei were intense, please believe me when I say that they were as nothing compared to what I felt—what I feel—for Ami."

Hazō and Noburi exchanged startled glances.

"Not like that!" Keiko snapped. She rolled her eyes to the heavens, her morose mood broken for a moment, and muttered, "Boys."

"Keiko," Mari-sensei said carefully, "supposing she did want to see you. Supposing she offered to forgive you if you came back to the clan. It's not a probable scenario, but it is a possible one.

"What would you do?"

Keiko stared at her expressionlessly.

Hazō waited for her response, but none came.

He kept waiting. This was not a time to interrupt, and the other two seemed to get that as well.

"I'm sorry," came the eventual whisper. "I cannot answer that question."

"You don't have to," Mari-sensei said. "That's not the point of this talk. It's not about sorting out our issues overnight. We're talking about these things now so you can start thinking about them. That way, you won't be blindsided when the time comes. And if any of you want more help, I can offer that. We have time. You're not alone, OK?"

They all nodded.

"Great. That brings us smoothly to Noburi."

Noburi shrugged. "Don't really know what to say here. I don't think I have any exciting problems to offer up. My parents don't think much of me, same as Keiko's. It's not really a big deal. They can ask me about bloodline secrets, and I can tell them that I haven't told you anything special—which is mostly true, since there aren't that many secrets you need to know to be a Wakahisa genin. I know our secret seals, which are totally useless to anyone without a Wakahisa body, and I don't know any special weaknesses we have except for that damn barrel. You don't need to tell me to keep the mist drain secret, or the misterators, or general OPSEC. Seriously not the one you should be worrying about on that front.

"They might suck up to me now that I'm the Hokage's adopted son, but I don't think either they or I are going to take that seriously. We all know I've shamed the clan bigtime, and that they're going to have to pretend I haven't if they want to make diplomatic use of me. That's all there is to it.

"And unlike the other two, I've got no beloved family members to worry about. I actually got on OK with my family, at least compared to Keiko, and I'm not looking forward to facing them now I've lost that, but I've had two years to get used to the idea, you know?

"Hazō, Keiko, you have anything else you want to talk about?" he asked in the same casual voice. "Or are we done here?"

Mari-sensei frowned, but apparently decided not to press him.

"Let's leave it at that for now. We can work on more practical steps later.

"Any of you want to talk to me, come find me anytime. Just like usual. And don't bottle stuff up, or I'll come find you, and believe me, I will make sure it's embarrassing."

-o-

You have earned 30 XP.

-o-

The prices listed in the first section are provisional and subject to potential retcon once we finally get this finances thing sorted out. What you need to know is that you have covered four days of clan expenses. The courier mission took place without incident and covered another three. You have survived the week.

The training plan was overridden by the action plan as you cannot research and train at the same time.

You were unable to conduct research on the electrocution seals due to lack of ideas. In the future, please suggest actual research pathways you wish to pursue so that QMs can determine their feasibility and assign difficulty levels as appropriate.

With Kagome's assistance, you were able to quickly complete research on Usamatsu's Glorious Life-Saving Purifier. You have made progress on the casino seals.

You have prepared pangolin peppers for macerator use. Stinkbombs are not standard ninja equipment and you will need to devise your own. Jiraiya has vetoed a hunting expedition to get dragonfly powder, but Noburi can get you some opium from the general anaesthesia shelves. You will have to describe how you're weaponising it. Your macerators can just about chew up granite.

Goggles are not standard ninja gear, and glass is rare and expensive. You will need to find some other means of protecting your eyes from your interesting payloads. Also, we don't actually know whether airtight facemasks are practical at an early medieval tech level. If anyone can find evidence that they are, then you can have them. Apart from that, you have begun training in macerator combat. (Incidentally, experimenting on live animals is 100% ethical in the MfDverse, insofar as no one considers animal welfare to be an end in itself.)

-o-

What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday 19th of August, 9 am New York Time.

eaglejarl · Aug 20, 2017

Chapter 152.1: The Kagome Maneuver

"You know the rules," Mari-sensei said, glancing back and forth from Team Uplift to Team Kurenai. "Nonlethal only, no broken bones, no maiming, nothing that would keep any of you from going to the Exams. Kurenai and I will be judging; if one of us thinks that an attack would have been fatal or disabling then we'll call you 'out.' If you're called out then you drop to the ground immediately and you don't interact with the fight until it's over. No moving, talking, or techniques—Shino, that includes using your insects. Keiko, if you're called out then any pangolins you've summoned need to go to the side of the field immediately. They can watch but can't do anything else."

"Also, stay on the field," said Yūhi Kurenai, co-referee for the match and jōnin-sensei for Team Uplift's sparring partners. "Try to avoid setting the forest on fire, but if it happens don't worry about it. If Mari or I say stop, you stop immediately. Other than that, treat this like a real fight. You don't do yourselves or your teams any favors by going easy. The better you fight, the better the chances that you'll all win the Exams. Got it?"

"Understood, ma'am," Hazō said. Noburi and Keiko, flanking him on left and right, nodded seriously.

"Yes, sensei," Aburame said, not looking away from Hazō's face. A tiny frown had been creasing his forehead since they met on the field.

"Something wrong, bug boy?" Hazō asked, allowing Mocking Grin #2 to spread across his face. "You really should buy me dinner if you want to keep eye-fucking me like that." Inwardly he cringed; Mari-sensei's lessons in psychological warfare had been incredibly uncomfortable to listen to, but putting them into practice was even worse.

"Do not be rude, Hazō," Keiko said. "His inability to speak to girls does not necessarily imply that he is a homosexual, however much he behaves like one. It may simply be the company he is forced to keep that has put him off the idea of intimacy." She studied Inuzuka distastefully, trying and failing to pretend that she was scratching her nose instead of pinching it shut.

"Wouldn't have put me off," Noburi said, giving the Hyūga girl a slow and very obvious up-and-down and a smile that spoke volumes. The pale girl turned beet red.

"You shut your mouth, you filthy bastard!" Inuzuka shouted, pushing forward past his teammates. His dog was right beside him, a ripping growl in his throat.

Aburame caught the boy's arm. "Be calm, Kiba," he said. "Remember, this should be treated as a real fight. They are applying psychological warfare tactics. How? Attempting to embarrass Hinata and anger me, thereby provoking you through your well-known loyalty and desire to protect your friends. The ideal situation for them would be if you attacked during the moment that Hinata and I were too rattled to back you up."

"He's right," Hazō said, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. "Sorry about that." He turned to his grinning mentor. "Pay up, sensei."

The redhead laughed, pulled a twenty-ryō coin out of her belt, and tossed it to Hazō. "Good job, Aburame," she said. "Inuzuka, Hyūga take the lesson to heart: words are just words and you can't let them get to you."

"For the record, she told us to do that," Noburi said, ducking his head in apology to Hyūga. "I'm really sorry."

Mari-sensei rolled her eyes. "Sage's beard, you lot are too polite to live. Go on, get to your sides. Let's get this party started." She flapped her hands at them as though shooing birds.

Both teams retreated to opposite sides of the field and readied themselves. Hazō took the right flank, Noburi the left, with Keiko in the center and two paces behind, where she could fill the enemy with the pointy metal she held in each hand. Noburi's Water Whip was active, his free hand clutching a seal. Hazō had seals in both hands and a song in his heart. This was the first field test of their new tactics!

"Begin!" Mari-sensei said, slashing her hand downwards and jumping back to the perimeter of the grassy arena to stand beside Yūhi.

Said sparring partners raced forward, spreading out slightly. Hyūga went right, aiming to close with Keiko. Aburame and Inuzuka headed straight for Noburi; Hazō found himself feeling slightly resentful of the implied threat estimations. Speaking of which, the cloud of insects surging out of Aburame's sleeves definitely counted as a threat.

Unfortunately for Team Kurenai, the field was wide enough that they couldn't reach their opponents fast enough. Without a word exchanged, the boys knelt down to emplace the Air Dome seals—

—only to recoil in horror as insects boiled out of the grass in which they had been hiding and swept over all three genin. The creepy feeling of tiny legs surging back and forth across Hazō's face, pushing into his mouth and attempting to get in his eyes was horrifying, but even worse was the way they were sucking chakra out of him like a Swamp lily sucking blood through its spears.

He forced himself to focus enough to activate the training tag he'd held ready in his right hand, setting the timer to barely a moment and tossing it just in front of himself. The blast hit like a hard punch across the entire surface of his body, knocking him back and crushing most of the bugs. He left himself fall and then rolled on the ground to get the rest.

"Hazō, you're out!" Mari-sensei called. Hazō cursed but lay still. It wasn't a fair ruling, he felt; it had only been a practice tag, intended for distraction and not actual wounding. Still, maybe she felt that the bugs would have taken him down. Either way, he was out and protesting would get him nowhere. He'd be better off to spend the time figuring out a counter to this tactic.

"Inuzuka Clan Technique: Fang over Fang!"

Behind him, the air was split by a high-pitched whirring scream, followed by the sound of wood shattering and water hitting the ground. Hazō sighed; they'd better come up with a counter to that as well.

o-o-o-o

Shino was careful to maintain the calm expression of the clan, but it was hard. The great Gōketsu clan, humbled in their first spar! Their mockery thoroughly avenged! Granted, the mockery had been employed only as a tactic on orders from their teacher and had been apologized for. Still, victory was sweet.

"You pre-seeded the grass with your allies while we were still talking," the Gōketsu girl said. "An admirable ploy, although not something that would work outside of a spar."

Shino shrugged. "Under the circumstances it seemed reasonable. Why? Because we were told to treat it like a real fight."

"Won't work a second time," growled the one that Shino had mentally dubbed 'Tubby'. "And, seriously, what was with targeting the barrel?"

Kiba laughed, pointing to his own chest with one thumb. "That was my idea. Seemed like if you carried the thing with you all the time, probably a good idea to take it away."

Tubby sighed. "Just glad I wasn't using the real one," he muttered. He shifted slightly, twisting his shoulders to check that the replacement barrel was settled on his shoulders and properly secured. It was a perfectly ordinary barrel, pulled from one of the ridiculous number of storage scrolls that the Gōketsu kids carried in their backpacks. Seriously, it looked like their packs had nothing but storage scrolls and packs of seals the size of an Akimichi sandwich. It was insane.

"Everyone ready for round two?" Kurenai-sensei asked with a grin. "Mari, you want to go double or nothing?"

"Are you kidding?" the redhead said with a smile. "What's this 'double' nonsense? I'm betting triple this time."

"Cool, that'll cover my groceries for the month. Okay, kids, get to your corners."

The Gōketsu team glared at Team Kurenai and retreated to their side of the field. They didn't go to the same spot, and they took precautions to ensure that they would not be caught by another surprise insect-based assault. Specifically, they each hurled a dozen full-strength tags around and exploded absolutely everything.

The fact that they were each carrying a dozen full-strength explosive tags, and were willing to use them in a mere spar, said a great deal about the wealth of their clan.

"Begin!" Yūhi called.

This time, the opposition team was faster. The boys knelt, slapped down a pair of seals, and activated them before Shino had taken more than three steps. His allies were on them seconds later, but they simply bounced off an invisible dome and milled around, trying and failing to find a way inside. Their master slowed to a halt, raising an arm to signal his teammates back.

The Gōketsu girl watched them closely while her teammates emplaced another pair of seals inside the dome. The moment they were ready, the enemy team leader looked over at Shino, flipped him a mocking salute, and activated them. A wave of glowing chakra surged up from each seal, arcing over to meet its mate and spreading out into a dome. There was a brief flash and the dome vanished, leaving red granite in its place.

"Kiba, entrench," Shino said, not looking away from the barrier.

Kiba never enjoyed using Fang over Fang for digging—unsurprisingly, he disliked the taste of dirt—but it worked great for creating a shallow trench that the team could hide in. A camouflage blanket spread out over top gave them some concealment, although the tailings sprayed around meant that it wouldn't take an observant opponent more than a few seconds to localize them.

They slithered into the trench and waited.

"Hinata, what are they doing?" Shino asked.

The girl cocked her head, the bulging veins around her temples revealing the use of her all-seeing Byakugan bloodline. "They've used some justu to create a wall inside the domes. The girl just unsealed an oil lantern from a storage scroll. They seem relaxed; they might be thinking that because the domes are chakra constructs I won't be able to see through them." She paused, browing furrowing in curiosity. "Interesting. Hazō and Keiko have put their hands in Noburi's barrel, and their chakra is moving out of them and into the water. Noburi has barely more chakra than a civilian, but I think he's using what's in the water."

"Clever," Shino said, nodding. Kiba grunted disapproval at the idea of praising enemies, but said nothing.

"That explains why he went down so easily when I broke his barrel," the Inuzuka boy said thoughtfully. "We'll definitely want to target that again." The rest of the team nodded.

Hinata's frown deepened. "They've each taken some seals out of their packs." She blinked, her physical eyes widening. "Oh my. That is a lot of seals, and I don't recognize most of them."

"Um," Kiba said nervously. Absolutely no one enjoyed the idea of giving an enemy sealmaster time to prepare...not that any of the kids were likely to be sealmasters, of course, but when someone was carrying enough seals then the difference was a bit academic. "You know, Jiraiya is one of the best around with seals. You think he's outfitting them?"

The other two took a moment to appreciate the monumental problem it could pose to be facing seals made by someone of Jiraiya's stature.

"He can't be," Hinata said. "There is no way he's got time to be making this many seals while still being Hokage."

"Well, seals aren't going to save them from the ass-kicking that we'll lay down once they crack that dome," Kiba said. "They've got to come out eventually, and when they do, we'll be ready. Shino, get your bugs around the dome and jump them the minute they open up. Hinata, you take out the weapons-user again, and I'll punch out Tubby's new barrel. Without any chakra, he'll drop just as easily this time, seals or not."

Shino considered for a moment and realized he didn't have a better plan. The fight was non-lethal, so even if it was as bad as he feared it could be, it wasn't really too risky.

"All right," he said, sending a fresh wave of his allies out to settle around the base of the outer dome.

With that, there was nothing for it but to settle in and wait.

o-o-o-o

"The leader just vanished into the ground," Hinata said suddenly. "The other two are standing ready, although based on where they're looking they don't know where we are. The leader went down about five feet...now he's moving to the right...coming back up." She frowned. "He's reaching up, just his hands above the surface, groping for the seals that make up the two domes."

Shino poked his mirror up over the lip of the trench so that he could see without exposing himself. He was just in time to see the granite dome dissolve into nothingness. A chest-high granite wall remained, the three Gōketsu kids standing behind it.

"Hiding in the Mist no Jutsu!" shouted the barrel-wearing Gōketsu scion. He cut some handseals and gestured; mist exploded from his hands in all directions, blanketing the entire field. He clearly wasn't good with the technique, because the mist was in no way dense enough to provide real concealment.

"Move!" Hinata shouted, hurling herself out of the trench. Shino and Kiba didn't wait for an explanation, throwing themselves after her. True to their training they each went in a different direction in order to avoid presenting a bunched-up target for explosives—

—like the ones that were suddenly raining down from absolutely everywhere. The first explosion went off right over the trench where they'd been a moment ago, delivered express on the handle of a kunai thrown by the girl. A fraction of a second later there was a stuttering crash as what sounded like a dozen more explosions detonated back near the Gōketsu; an instant later they were going off everywhere. A wave of fire and force marched up and down the training field like an army of wrathful demons on maneuvers, tearing the ground asunder. Shino was picked up by the first blast and thrown into the second, and the third. Not even Lee could punch that fast, although the effect was remarkably—

...consciousness swam unwillingly back and Shino forced himself to sit up. His clothes were ripped and torn and absolutely every inch of his body was covered in bruises and scrapes.

"What did you do?" he moaned, clutching his aching head.

"Like it?" Hazō said with a grin. "We call that one 'the Kagome Maneuver'." Both Gōketsu boys laughed, and even Keiko smiled. Team Kurenai just moaned and fumbled blankly in their medical kits for the willow bark.

XP AWARD: 1

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Velorien · Aug 25, 2017

Chapter 153: Kagome versus the Seventh Path

"Akatsuki, you say," Kagome said thoughtfully. "Well, what I know is—"

He paused so as not to be interrupted by that weird gurgling screech that came from the bowels of the mansion every fifteen minutes between four and five pm. The Gōketsu Clan had long since decided that it must be malfunctioning pipes, and silently agreed that there was no need to go and investigate further.

"Akatsuki is a society of summoners," Kagome continued.

"What, all of them?" Noburi interrupted.

"All of them," Kagome said. "Uchiha Itachi summons crows. Everyone in Leaf knows that. Why crows? Because they're great at pecking out eyeballs. And what did he do? He killed everyone in the Uchiha Clan so he could steal their eyes and take their Sharingan powers."

"But what about the civilians? And his brother?"

"Exactly," Kagome said. "Unlike your ordinary clan-massacring type, he was smart enough to make sure there'd be more Sharingan users to kill later. And while he waits, he flies around the continent looking for anybody with a drop of Uchiha blood so he can consume them and become even stronger."

"I… see…" Hazō said slowly. "That's certainly… worth knowing."

"Of course, all that was part of the Sage's plot too. The Uchiha were getting too close to things they weren't meant to know, like the truth behind the Tailed Beast Breeding Programme. Them and their genjutsu-piercing eyes. But I figured that was obvious.

"Then there's their shark summoner. Don't know his name. He's one of the ancients, the first ninja who got themselves trapped in the incomplete Transformation Technique. Only he was so smart he managed to figure out how to modify it without having to use his hands—which he didn't have, being a chakra shark and all. So now he's half-shark half-man. He ate the last Shark Summoner so he could get the scroll, and what he does is that he floods villages with his ancient forbidden Water ninjutsu, and then he and his summon friends swarm in and eat everyone. Only most people don't know because it looks so much like scorch squad work.

"But the really dangerous one is Deidara, the Last of the Dragonlords. He swoops in on his legendary grey dragon with his blond hair streaming in the wind, saturates the battlefield with perfectly-made explosives, then watches and takes notes on exactly how everyone dies so he can make the next batch even better. They say half of all explosives used in the last Fang-Claw war had his mark on them."

"Blond hair streaming in the wind?" Keiko queried with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm just telling you what I've heard, is all!" Kagome snapped. "Now are you going to pick at my every word, or are you going to listen to vital intel?"

"I apologise. Please continue."

"Right. Where was I? Oh, there's Hidan the Blood Reaper. Everyone's heard of him. Deadliest scythe-wielder in the world."

"How many scythe-wielders are there in the world?" Hazō asked.

"He's the only one I know of."

"Right. And what's he the summoner of?"

"Death," Kagome said simply. "Nobody knows what he had to do to get the Death summoning scroll, because he hunted down and killed everyone who knew. When he summons Death, he becomes completely unkillable, and every wound he deals is fatal, even if he just nicks you. He's head of a vast secret cult, and everyone in it worships him as the avatar of Death itself.

"His eternal rival is Kakuzu the Elemental Summoner. He's got four different summoning scrolls—Fire, Lightning, Water and Wind—and he can use all of them at once. He's said to be the oldest ninja alive—so he's probably another of the Sage's masks—and an expert bounty hunter. If it's a choice between facing him and facing a squad of hunter-nin, any missing-nin will run to welcome the squad with open arms. I can't imagine how rich he must be, if he's that old and constantly collecting bounties."

"To the best of my knowledge," Keiko said, "there is no such thing as an elemental summoning scroll. Blood must be used in the creation of a summoning scroll, and I fail to see how Fire, Lightning, Water or Wind can provide it. Or Death for that matter."

"And that's why you're not on Akatsuki's power level," Kagome said smugly, as if their success was somehow his accomplishment. "Those people are crazier than a civilian going on a hiking trip through the mountains, but it's the productive kind of crazy. Look at Sasori of the Red Sand and his golem summons."

Keiko looked like her patience was wearing thin. "There is no Golem Clan. I do not see how there can be a Golem Clan, insofar as golems, in addition to not possessing blood, are not living creatures by definition. It does not help that they are entirely fictional. Perhaps this Sasori is simply a skilled puppet user?"

"Oh, sure," Kagome sneered. "A skilled puppet user took out Ōtori Castle in Fang on his own, did he? Along with the daimyo and all his ninja bodyguards? A good puppet user can control what, two, three puppets at a time? Sasori is said to have used an army."

Keiko glowered, but quietly.

"That's all I know for certain," Kagome concluded. "Anything else would be speculation."

-o-

"What do you have for me, Pandā?"

The military liaison tapped his claws against his chest awkwardly.

"Um, sorry, Keiko. I spent hours at the library, I really did. My claws are aching from carrying tablets back and forth. I did my best for you."

"I am confident that you did."

"Thanks, Keiko."

Pandā straightened up a little.

"First off, I think the Toad Summoner must have been pulling your tongue about what happened in his big battle. The Archaeopteryx Clan doesn't have a summoning scroll."

"Archaeopteryx Clan," Kei repeated. "Are you saying it was lost?"

"Nonono. They never had one. They were the first of the winged clans, created to be the Pantokrator's steeds and messengers. Today, they're practically a myth—mothers say they will swoop down and carry off bad little pangolins who don't respect the chain of command. Even if the archaeopteryxes are still alive somewhere out there, only the Pantokrator would have the power to summon them to your world."

Kei frowned. This observation gave far too much credence to Kagome's convoluted theories about the Sage.

"Are you absolutely certain?"

"Well," Pandā said uneasily, "I suppose if the Pantokrator shared his powers with somebody else. He's omnipotent, so presumably he could do that if he wanted to. I can't imagine why he would, though."

"No indeed," Kei said. "But on the assumption that Jiraiya's testimony was accurate, do your stories provide any tactical data on archaeopteryxes? Weaknesses, known abilities and so forth?"

Pandā's eyes widened a little. "You're not planning on fighting the Pantokrator's personal servants? If they still exist, I mean. Because I think that counts as blasphemy. No, sacrilege. Um, which is which again? I always get those two mixed up."

Kei resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She should probably be grateful to Hazō and Noburi for the practice.

"Obviously we would not be fighting the Sage of Six Paths. I am led to believe that would be suicide. However, in the event that someone is imitating his abilities, would that not be a far greater sacrilege?"

"I dunno," Pandā muttered. "You should probably talk to the Commissars about that. They don't like people like me making doctrinal statements."

"Pandā," Kei said, "either way, there is no harm in providing me with information that is already freely available and that I could acquire myself were I to learn pangolin writing and invest time in research."

"Well, if you say so," Pandā reluctantly agreed. "They're said to come down on their enemies like the Pantokrator's hammer, which isn't how you normally hear about bird clan heroes. Those are all 'swift talons' and 'move like the wind', so I guess archaeopteryxes might be strong but slow instead? And not good at manoeuvring? But on the other hand if they're messengers, it would be dumb if they were too slow, so I suppose they must build up speed when they go in a straight line."

"Impressive analysis," Kei said. "It seems your training has not been for naught."

"Well, you know, everyone in the clan got special briefings on how to beat up the beak-faces if they come within a mile of our settlements. Which they won't now, because we slaughtered their warriors and took their territory and now we've enslaved them like they all deserve." Pandā's eyes shone with an unhealthy light.

"I… see. Moving on, then. What of the other summons I asked about?"

"There aren't any dragon summons," Pandā said. "A lot of summoners ask about those. Maybe humans from the past saw the Pantokrator riding an archaeopteryx and called it a dragon? I dunno.

"As for the other stuff, that's getting me worried about you, Keiko. Maybe you should take time off, let yourself rest and recharge your brain a bit? You can… borrow my burrow if you like?"

Kei narrowed her eyes. "Pandā…" she said with a faint undertone of threat.

"All right, all right, just trying to show some friendly concern for a friend, no need to kick at my log.

"Look, Keiko," Pandā said patiently as if explaining something to a small child, "fire needs something to burn. Even Fire ninjutsu burns chakra. So what's a Fire summon supposed to do, jump off a torch and stroll over to you over the bare earth? And how would it talk to you even if it did? How would it understand you without a brain?"

"Clones can understand instructions without a brain," Kei observed.

"Yes, because they're not people, they're a ninjutsu effect. Summons are people. We have our own lives, our own thoughts and feelings—how does fire even sign a contract, Keiko, tell me that!" Pandā exclaimed in exasperation.

"Fine, you've made your point," Keiko said testily. "What of the others?"

"There's a Shark Summoner, sure enough. We don't have any diplomatic ties to the Shark Clan—they live far away, and we don't exactly have any overlapping interests, but I asked around and intel says they've had one for a while. I'm surprised you don't know that yourself, Keiko. Don't you come from the village in the ocean?"

"I left as a genin," Kei said. "Prior to that, my training focused on logistics and structural aspects of information management, and left little time to collect data which would be of no immediate use to me."

"That doesn't sound like fun. But if it makes you feel better, I can tell you lots about the Crow Clan. We've got an up-to-date intel package on them in case they decided to back up the Condors for some reason."

"Go on."

"They live way up in the mountains. They're weird, because they don't fight much—they send their young to do most of the fighting, and—get this—they actually think that war is less important than abstract knowledge. Crazy, right? So they're ruled by sages instead of generals, and they're all into medicine and philosophy and stuff, except they won't share any of it because they think they're better than everyone.

"Only ever since they made their contract with the Uchiha—and only the Uchiha, by the way, which is weird too—their military started expanding, and now there's loads of tension between the sages who are in charge and the military faction that thinks it ought to take over. Then there was this big kerfuffle a few years back when something big happened on the Human Path, and they had a completely different split over whether to keep supporting the Crow Summoner or not. That lasted until the Crow Summoner himself came to the Seventh Path and flattened everyone who didn't like him. Right now he's probably the second most important person in the clan after Karanium himself.

"That's everything I have clearance for. There's some other stuff marked Top Secret, but the overall gist of it is that the crows aren't going to mess with us, and we have to make absolutely certain we don't give them a reason to. It's actually a little weird how emphatic the tablets are about that part."

"Thank you," Kei said. "That is very informative. And tactical data?"

"Crows fight in flocks. They have a lot of small fighters, not like us pangolins, 'cause the older crows tend to stick to academics. They're cheats who love to have some of them distract you while the rest hit you from behind, or swarm you until you can't see a thing and don't know what's going on. They do hit-and-runs a lot. Can't take a good hit, though. Oh! They use tools and weapons a lot because they're so weak, unlike pangolins whom the Pantokrator naturally made the strongest. So you have to be ready for anything with a crow."

"Excellent," Kei said. "If you can offer me this kind of information about the rest…"

"I can't," Pandā said flatly. "Golems are like those elemental summons—they don't exist and it doesn't make sense for them to. Didn't they teach you this kind of common-sense stuff when you became a summoner?"

"I have learned of late that common sense seldom applies in the shinobi world," Kei said wryly. "One must grit one's teeth and keep an open mind.

"Nevertheless, it is a relief that Kagome's ramblings appear to be just that. I take it that the same applies to the bewildering idea of summoning Death?"

Pandā went very still.

"Death isn't a summon the way I'm a summon. Death is… something else," he said in a hushed voice.

"Come now." Kei's patience had been bolstered by Pandā's extensive knowledge of the crows, and at least that had already been confirmed by Jiraiya to be Uchiha Itachi's summon. But there were limits.

"How can a theoretical abstraction of the process by which living organisms cease to function be summonable? At least a Fire elemental summon is intuitively comprehensible, even if that intuition does not match reality."

"Dunno," Pandā said. "But summoning Death is one of the things summoners are forbidden to do on the Seventh Path, like making seals."

And of course, there was no way of distinguishing prohibitions laid down for good and sane reasons from meaningless superstition, just as with many of the "essential" sealcrafting procedures Kagome insisted on during research. (Kei refused on principle to believe in the efficacy of the "Please Don't Let This Seal Draw the Attention of the Nameless Hunger that Dwells in the Gaps between Minds" Dance.)

"Well," Kei said, "I assure you that I have no intention of summoning Death in the foreseeable future. I feel that towering war machines with razor-sharp claws and impenetrable armour fulfil my day-to-day summoning needs quite nicely."

"Aww, Keiko, you say the nicest things."

"Is there anything else?" Kei asked. "I should return soon lest I miss dinner."

"Oh!" Pandā did a sudden little hop. "Oh, I almost forgot. I've got a message for you from Commissar Panteon. He says that now we're moving into the next stage of the offensive, against the Hyena Clan that secretly supported the condors from behind the scenes, we're going to need a lot more Pantokrator's Eyes from you."

Kei's mind conjured images of the subjugated condor population labouring with bound wings beneath the whips of their pangolin overseers.

"He says that your piety will be noted and rewarded appropriately. Oh, but if you feel this goes beyond the bounds of your relationship with the Pangolin Clan, we may be forced to review the terms of your summoning contract accordingly. His words, not mine.

"Um, please don't make them review the terms of the summoning contract, Keiko. I don't know what that means, and I really like being your military liaison." Pandā gave her what on the Human Path would be known as puppy-dog eyes. "It's given my life a whole lot of meaning, and, and I really like you. You're the best summoner ever."

Well. It had occurred to Kei over the last few days that her life had become suspiciously uncomplicated.

-o-

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eaglejarl · Aug 28, 2017

Chapter 154: Pragmatic Bargains

"Would this be a good time for me to ask everyone's advice?" Keiko asked carefully. "Jiraiya, I feel certain that today, like every day as Hokage, has been stressful for you. I do not wish to—"

Jiraiya smiled and raised a hand to cut her off. "Yes, it's been stressful, but it's fine. It's actually been one of the better days recently. How can I help?" He poured himself a fresh cup of tea and rolled the warm cup between his palms as he looked at her expectantly.

Keiko paused, seeming to examine every word before letting it out. "I have received a demand from the Pangolin. They want more of our skytower seals and have stated that if I do not supply them they will renegotiate the details of my contract."

Jiraiya choked on the sip of tea he'd just taken, then set his cup down with a sharp clank. "They said what?" She opened her mouth to respond but he waved her to silence. "Yeah, I heard. That does not fly. They have no business talking to their Summoner that way."

"Darn straight!" Kagome-sensei said. "I've been saying all along that you're too good for them! Bunch of schnooks, all of them. Gouging us on deals, treating Keiko like dirt—" He cut himself off when Mari-sensei placed a gentle hand on his arm. He glowered at her, then dug resentfully into his rice.

Keiko shifted uncomfortably. "Are you sure? I...don't really have very much to offer them. Without their power I'm just another genin."

Jiraiya studied her for a moment the way one might study a surprisingly interesting logic puzzle. Then he turned to his wife. "Mari?"

The redhead shrugged. "Don't look at me. I've spent a year and a half trying to get her to accept how impressive she is. At this point I'm pretty sure she's disregarding what I say by pure reflex."

"Mari-sensei!"

The jōnin rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Keiko, you are. I've told you any number of times that you are enormously more talented than the average genin and that your intelligence—not your bloodline, your actual intelligence—is almost frightening. You have a very calm and stable personality and you do a good job of evaluating and analyzing everything except yourself. Your primary issue is your self image; you have an enormous case of imposter syndrome which you reinforce through some truly S-rank confirmation bias. When this issue is pointed out, your motivated cognition prevents you from evaluating the issue rationally."

The entire table stared at Mari-sensei.

The woman in question looked back, shrugged, and took a delicate sip of her tea. "What?" she asked. "Neira and I have been having lunch a lot."

Pause.

"Ah," Jiraiya said faintly. "I see no way in which this could make my life more difficult."

Mari-sensei patted his arm reassuringly. "You'll be fine, dear. You're one of the Legendary Three, Master of Leaf, Lord of the Bedroom Arts, author of—"

"Yes, thank you," the Sannin said grumpily. "I know who and what I am. Right now what I am is annoyed about some pangolins mistreating my daughter. Keiko, I have to believe that this is one or two mid-level bureaucrats throwing their weight around. I mean, maybe the Pangolin Clan is just way more snotty than the Toads led me to believe, but I'd like to think that's not it. Have you spoken to anyone other than Pandā about this?"

"Not yet. I chose instead to bring the issue before the clan and seek advice."

"I see." He paused, looking at the ceiling and tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Okay, we should get this dealt with right away. There's been so much going on lately that I've been letting the Pangolins sit on the back burner, but that needs to change."

Hazō shifted uncomfortably. "Keiko, it sounds like this will be a hostile negotiation. That isn't your strength; you're amazing at bargaining with people who are operating in good faith but I've noticed that liars and manipulators throw you off your stride. What can we do to support you?"

Keiko nodded acknowledgement of his point. "Indeed. This is part of why I brought it to the clan. I would appreciate it if all of you would help me produce a concept map that I can work from during the negotiations."

Jiraiya frowned. "A concept map?"

"Sort of like a flowchart, sir," Hazō said. "You start with a single item—in this case, maybe 'value of one seal'—and you work out from there, adding related items and connecting them with lines. Each item can have a snippet of dialogue attached, either something you plan to say or something you think the person you're speaking with might say in response to you. It forms a multi-path script."

Jiraiya's eyebrows rose. "Interesting idea." He pursed his lips, thinking it through. "Yes, we can do that." He shook his head. "Keiko, I wish I could be there to back you up on this in person, but I don't have a contract with any Toad in Pangolin territory and I can't spend days getting from Toad lands to Pangolin lands."

Hazō started to say 'why can't we have the pangolin come here?' and then caught himself. Neither Keiko nor Jiraiya had proposed the idea, so there was probably a good reason. What was it?

Oh, right. Any pangolin senior enough to conduct these negotiations would either be too powerful for Keiko to summon or would insist on having the conversation on the Summon Path in order to get the home field advantage.

"May I offer a thought?" he asked carefully. After the reaming he had gotten about the Merchant Council he wasn't eager to jump in again without testing the waters.

"Shoot," Jiraiya said. He picked up his chopsticks and flicked a few bits of stir fry onto his plate.

"It seems to me that there's two pieces to the issue," Hazō said. "The first is 'why are they being so pushy about it?', the second is 'what we can get for the skytowers?'"

Jiraiya nodded and made a 'go on' gesture, since his mouthful of chicken and vegetables keeping him from saying it verbally.

"Well," Hazō said. "I'm not sure about the first part, but it's clear that they consider the skytowers really valuable. So far the Pangolins have been a little stingy—I'm sorry, Keiko, but they have. You're their Summoner, the first that they've had in centuries. They should have been throwing power at you."

Jiraiya swallowed and shook his head. "I agree with you in principle, but I see where they're coming from. You have to understand the way things work between the Paths; most clans don't have a contract but they still manage to hold territory and maintain a good standard of living. Having a Summoner is valuable but not overwhelmingly so. Add in the fact that every clan I've ever interacted with is militaristic to some degree and at least somewhat xenophobic by human standards. We look and smell weird to them, so it's not surprising that they're a little standoffish. In Keiko's case they've probably been worried that she wasn't strong enough to hold onto any secrets they disclosed to her so they've been holding back a little."

"That's stupid," Noburi burst out. "If they're worried that Keiko isn't strong enough then the solution is to strengthen her. They've got an entire military full of trainers and soldiers and we've already seen that even their simplest training jutsu is really powerful by ninja standards."

Jiraiya shrugged helplessly. "Alien minds are alien?" he said. "I agree with you that it's the wrong approach for them to take, but it is what it is. Anyway, now that you guys are in the clan of the Toad Summoner they'll probably be a little more relaxed and open to negotiations."

"Stinking idiots," Kagome-sensei muttered, stabbing angrily at his red bean bun. "Shouldn't be endangering Keiko."

"Right there with you," Jiraiya said. "I'll ask the Toads to apply some political pressure. 'Your Summoner is now allied with our Summoner and her power will increase his' or something. That's going to take a while, though. Communication lag between Toads and Pangolins is wicked. I don't think we want to wait, though; the Exams are coming up and we'll want to put this issue to bed quickly. Plus, we can use the opportunity to get you some good stuff that you can take to Mist."

"I have some thoughts on that," Hazō said tentatively. When he got Keiko's nod of permission he leaned forward, arms on the table and his smile positively rapacious. "Sounds to me like the skytowers were a significant part of what allowed the Pangolins to conquer the Condors, and the seals have probably mostly expired by now. The Pangolins are probably really motivated to get more. If so...."

o-o-o-o

"You want me to tell Commissar Panteon what?" Pandā asked, aghast.

"Tell him that I will provide nothing until he apologizes to me in person," she said, forcing herself to live inside the memory of the Sarubetsu alley and the rage that had allowed her to speak with steel. She desperately wanted to hide within the ice of the Mori Voice, but here on the Seventh Path that wasn't an option. "His words were inappropriate and unprofessional; I will not tolerate them. I will be discussing his rudeness, as well as negotiating for skytower sales, with the Polemarch. He may find me there."

Pandā's eyes were wide and his tongue flickered in and out spasmodically. "Keiko...I...I can't...please don't make me do that. You don't talk to Commissars like that. You really don't."

She eyed him thoughtfully. "Very well," she said. "I will ask the Polemarch to send someone else as a messenger. Let's go." She turned toward the Polemarch's headquarters and set off at the fastest walk she could manage without stumbling or looking ridiculous. The sooner this was over the sooner she could collapse in a panicked heap.

Pandā fell in beside her, his much shorter legs forcing him to run to keep up. "Keiko, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes." No. Definitely no. Still, Mari-sensei and Jiraiya had both agreed that it was the best option and had carefully coached her. Better yet, she had the most detailed concept map she'd ever seen tucked safely away in her memory. Maybe it wouldn't be a complete disaster.

"But—"

"Pandā, please do not distract me. My mind is made up."

"...Yes, Keiko."

o-o-o-o

The Polemarch's fortress was simultaneously much farther than she liked and far closer than she would have preferred. She was passed through the guards with little trouble and only had to wait twenty minutes for the Polemarch to make time in his schedule. When the herald came to summon her she took a deep breath and nodded firmly.

"Let's do this," she said. She forced herself to stride into Pantsā's throne room with her head high. (This too had been part of her rehearsal with Mari-sensei and Jiraiya.) She took her place before the enormous pangolin and interlaced her fingers in the peace sign. She spared a passing thought to wonder if she was, on balance, happy that Pandā had stayed outside (since this way he probably wouldn't catch any fallout of an angry Polemarch), or regretful (because of the absence of moral support).

"Greetings, Summoner," came the enormous voice of the Pangolin clan's monarch. "What brings you before me today?"

"Three things, Polemarch," she said. The use of his title was one of Jiraiya's subtleties, intended to demonstrate emotional distance and formality instead of using his personal name as he had instructed her to. "First, I gather that the Clan wishes to purchase more of the seals for the Pantokrator's Judging Eyes. I am here to set up negotiations for that. Second, I have some important news about the Human Path that you should have. Third, I am here to, demand an apology from Commissar Panteon for the inappropriate and unprofessional manner in which he conveyed the desire for negotiations." She almost managed to make it through the whole memorized speech without stumbling, but her voice still hitched a little before 'demand'. Hopefully Pantsā hadn't noticed. Now, according to the concept map the team had created, there were seven different categories of response he might make....

"I see."

Category Four: calm, measured, not showing anger with her or with Panteon. That wasn't the ideal branch but it was far from the worst.

"What exactly did the Commissar say?" The pangolin's voice was purely in her mind, yet she imagined she could feel the subterranean rumble resonating inside her chest.

"He stated that I would be 'richly rewarded' for obeying his demand and that the terms of my contract would be renegotiated if I refused, with the implication that 'renegotiated' actually meant 'revoked'." Stay calm, Kei. Keep it together; you can do this. "My clan and I are, in principle, willing to provide the seals, but I am not willing to be either threatened or condescended to with promises of treats." Oh Sage, she was losing it. She could feel her breathing trying to accelerate and her hands starting to tremble. She took up a human position of attention, standing straight with her hands behind her back; it was not the Pangolin posture of deference but she needed the familiarity and comfort of her own cultural traditions.

"Hmmmm."

She waited, counting her breaths and forcing herself to visualize the alley in Sarubetsu. My team killed every chakra beast from Fire's Swamp of Death to the jungles of Tea. We've crushed jōnin, fought an entire village of ninja, and faced down Jiraiya of the Sannin. I stood my ground in front of Pantsā of the Adamant Scales, the Boss Summon of the Pangolin Clan, and made him fear me. You think we're going to back down for some pissant village nin like you? Talk to us like reasonable people and we could be powerful allies, but do not imagine for even a moment that you can take our control from us. Try it and we'll blow your little mudhole into rubble and pick our teeth with the fragments.

"The Commissar's words were inappropriate," Pantsā rumbled. "He will be disciplined and I will explain at some length to the Office of Morale what appropriate manners are when dealing with humans."

Keiko blinked. Pantsā had just skipped over twelve nodes in the concept map; was he allowed to do that? There was a plan! They had had a plan, and he was ruining it!

Ignorant of her inner turmoil, the Boss Summon continued. "Now, I believe you wanted to negotiate for the Pantokrator's Eyes? I will ensure that a more reasonable Pangolin is assigned for the discussion."

Kei swallowed. The vision of Sarubetsu that she held before her mind's eye wavered and became colorless. She had protested this next part of the map in the strongest terms, but both Mari-sensei and Jiraiya had been adamant. (As Adamant as Pantsā's scales, an insane part of her mind giggled.)

"I do apologize," she said with a calm she absolutely did not feel. She could not bring herself to offer the regretful smile that Jiraiya had suggested. (A suggestion at which Mari-sensei had laughed and patted his arm comfortingly, which had in turn made Jiraiya grumble.) "I'm afraid I won't be able to give the proper attention to the negotiations for at least two weeks. That was the news I wanted to convey: I am no longer a clanless missing-nin. Jiraiya, the Toad Summoner, has formed a new clan and adopted me and all my teammates. I am now Gōketsu Keiko; my team and I are accepted as honored members of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, the most powerful ninja village on the Human Path. Jiraiya is currently the Hokage of Leaf—that is, the military leader of the village.

"For reasons both personal and political my team and I will be competing in the Chūnin Exams, an internationally important event that begins in just over a week. Our performance in the Exams will have a significant impact on the future of the Gōketsu clan in particular and on Leaf in general. I apologize, but my clan leader and military commander is requiring me to do nothing but train until the Exams. I had to request a special dispensation to be allowed to come today so that I could inform you of our willingness to trade once time is available."

"Fascinating," the massive voice murmured in her brain. The nuances of pangolin speech were often difficult to interpret, but she had the feeling that laughter lurked behind the word. "Among the Pangolin Clan, messengers and soldiers are often given a certain amount of latitude in their orders when opportunities are presented that those orders could not have anticipated. Supposing I were willing to conduct the negotiations myself, right now? I can clear an hour from my schedule and I'm sure that your clan would benefit from whatever deal we make. It could potentially impact these Exams of yours."

She suppressed the majority of a shudder that mixed terror and relief in almost equal proportions. This had been what they'd been angling for, but she hadn't dared hope that it would happen. She forced herself to pause for the space of two carefully-measured breaths.

"I...suppose my Clan Head would approve that action," she said doubtfully. "Would you be willing to do that?"

"Indeed. A moment, please." Something brushed against the edges of her mind as Pantsā thought-sent a command to what she assumed would be his private secretary outside the room. She knew with bone-deep certainty that allowing her to sense the existence of the message had been purely a courtesy on his part. "There, I've cleared an hour from my schedule. Now, what did you have in mind?"

Keep it together, Kei, keep it together. "I should start off by saying"—she swallowed reflexively, her mouth having gone dry as the deserts of Wind Country—"...by saying that I am not willing to deliver any seals until I have received a personal apology from Commissar Panteon." Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure the massive pangolin could hear it.

There was a pause so filled with terror that she nearly wet herself, and then Pantsā's quietly tectonic laughter echoed in her mind. "You are pushing dangerously close to rudeness of your own, Summoner, but I admire your steel. Panteon is a skilled administrator, a dedicated commissar, and a significant figure in our hierarchy. He is also a pangolin who does not just hold grudges, he treasures them like beloved children. Forcing him to make a personal apology will destroy your relationship with him in future. Are you willing to do that?"

Kei's hands were shaking harder; she squeezed them together to hold them still. The first stirrings of anger at her own weakness were beginning to rise within her heart; she fanned the flames, forcing herself to dwell on how much the rest of the team—the clan!—were counting on her. Her success or failure in these negotiations could literally mean life and death for them. Was she really going to let herself fail now? No! She was Mo—Gōketsu, and she was in control!

"I see," she said, the fires of the anger freezing into ice in her voice. "On the Human Path we place great importance on ninja being able to separate their personal feelings from their professional responsibilities, but I suppose this is one more difference between Pangolin and human culture. Very well, if the Commissar is unable to manage his emotions then I suppose I won't push the issue."

"Very mature of you," the Polemarch said, tiny hints of laughter dancing behind the polite words. "Now, I believe we were going to discuss trade?"

"Yes," Kei said. This part was easier; she had spent months practicing her bargaining skills with Mari-sensei, she had drilled in the specifics of this particular deal for hours, she had a concept map dedicated specifically to the issue, and she had a good, albeit basic, grasp on the Pangolin economy from prior shopping trips with Pandā. She was as prepared for this as she had ever been for anything, and it sounded like Pantsā was actually positively oriented towards the bargain.

"After discussion with my clan leader, we feel that the best option is to create a recurring trade in which we will supply the Pangolin Clan with ten of the Pantokrator's Eyes per month in exchange for appropriate recompense."

"Ten? I'm afraid that won't do," Pantsā said. "We'll need at least two hundred per month."

Kei hesitated. They had deliberately lowballed the initial offer, but she hadn't expected his initial raise to be quite that high. None of the available responses on her concept map were a good fit for that big a jump, so she chose to ignore it for now and stick with the path that she'd been on.

"If you'll allow, I'd like to discuss the number of seals in a moment," she said politely. "First I want to lay out the details of what we're looking for. Our payment will need to be split between monetary and military elements. Gōketsu is a new clan, and small—only six members. We have ongoing expenses that my team did not have when we were simply missing-nin. We will require an amount of gold equal to twice my weight each month; it should be easy enough to find among the territories that the Pangolin Clan has been able to conquer with the aid of the Pantokrator's Eyes. Furthermore, I wish to protect my clan mates and, to that end, I will need all of them to be taught the Pangolin basic training jutsu that you use to enhance strength and speed as well as toughen the scales of new recruits. Each member of Clan Gōketsu will be taught five jutsu of our selection—of course, we will need to see a complete list of the Pangolin Clan's jutsu in order to know what the options are—and I will be granted contracts with ten military agents. I will provide a list of what specialties I need. The military ranks of these agents aren't relevant but they should be among the most skilled and motivated available. I'm sure that Panteon felt very clever for foisting Panjandrum off on me but the next group will need to be higher quality." Her tone was breathless at the end and she realized she'd forgotten to breathe through the entire speech. Jiraiya had been very specific about both the wording and intonation of that initial offer and Mari-sensei had backed him up. Of course, they weren't the ones that needed to be so demanding towards a living war machine the size of a small mountain.

"Panjandrum...Panjandrum...ah, yes," Pantsā said with a chuckle. "I remember him. Tremendous talent, no discipline, far too much ego. All things considered he wasn't the worst option you could have received, Summoner. Say what you will about him but he is an excellent combatant when he stirs himself and he learns new skills very quickly if appropriately motivated."

Kei blinked. As far as she understood it, Panjandrum was a cook, and not a particularly high-ranked one at that. Not a position that would typically attract the attention of the Polemarch. Did Pantsā really know every pangolin under his command?

"Undoubtedly true, Polemarch," she said with a bow. "Still. I politely request that future contracts be of a less difficult nature."

"Not unreasonable," Pantsā rumbled. "As I recall, you have a contract with Senior Combat Instructor Pankurashun, do you not?"

"Yes?"

"Excellent. I will withdraw him from the training hall and assign him as your personal lochagos. He can be responsible for your training as well as command of your other contractees. You may work with him to find up to two other contracts. They will be chosen from the elite, but High Command will need to decide if they can be spared from their current duties. There are enough skilled pangolin that you should have no difficulty finding two who meet your needs and are available immediately."

"With respect, Polemarch, I feel that eight new contracts would be more appropriate."

"I'm afraid we simply cannot spare more than three of our elite soldiers, in addition to one of our most-decorated Senior Combat Instructors," Pantsā said regretfully. "Not even in exchange for two hundred of the Pantokrator's Eyes per month."

"That is a pity," Kei said, with what she felt sure was equally fake regret. "I certainly wouldn't want to endanger the Pangolin Clan if your enemies have truly stretched you so thin that you can't spare seven of your soldiers."

"Hm...well, I suppose that since we have crushed the Condors we do have more re-deployable troops then we did a few months ago. I suppose I could assign you a full tessera of four warriors."

"Five is a propitious number among humans," Kei said. "Given how stretched you are I suppose I could settle for that, plus Pankurashun, in exchange for twenty Eyes per month."

Pantsā paused, cocking him immense head in thought. "One Pangolin for each member of Clan Gōketsu," he mused. "I admire the symmetry. Very well, Pankurashun as your lochagos and an over-strength tessera in exchange for one hundred and eighty of the Eyes per month. Your selections must still be approved by High Command, though; we need to be sure not to disrupt vital operations by removing key people at the wrong time. Now, as to your other demands, I'm afraid they are simply out of the question. Even righteous wars are expensive, and we cannot divert the amount of money you are discussing from more critical needs. Nor could I assign any of our jutsu teachers to spend the time necessary to adapt thirty separate jutsu to human needs. And, of course, there is no central compilation of jutsu, so it is not in my power to grant that demand even if I were willing to violate operational security so badly."

"I see," Kei said. It was probably true that there was no complete compilation; certainly Leaf didn't have one. There was undoubtedly an incomplete list somewhere, though. "Well, if the Pangolin Clan cannot afford to spare a few coins to give Gōketsu financial security then I suppose we'll have to look elsewhere for ongoing revenue streams. I'm afraid that our sealcrafting skills are our most valuable resource, so it's unlikely we'll have crafting time sufficient to supply the Pangolins as well as whichever Human Path customers we settle on. I do apologize for wasting your time."

"A pity," Pantsā said. "May I suggest that you speak to your clan head on the subject of fiscal responsibility? I have no idea how he could possibly be wasting that much money every month."

Kei was surprised to notice that she was smiling very slightly. Bizarre as the thought seemed, she was actually enjoying this. It felt more like a dance than a contest; Pantsā must know that a new clan would be desperate for resources and that he could drive a harder bargain if he so chose, but he showed no indications of wanting to turn the screws.

"It's true," she said, shaking her head. "Our clan leader is quite responsible but I'm afraid some of my...siblings...are a bit wasteful. I suppose if I work with Jiraiya to get them under control then we could get by on only one and a half times my weight in gold per month."

Pantsā made a noise that was probably the Pangolin equivalent of a disapproving click of the teeth. "So much? Truly, humans are wastrels. If there's only six of you I would expect that you could get by quite comfortably on an ounce of topaz each month."

"Prices in Leaf are quite high by Pangolin standards, I'm afraid," Keiko said. "Especially land. And gemstones are more plentiful on the Human Path, making them much less valuable. That's why we prefer to negotiate in gold. It would take half again as much as I weigh in gold every month to pay our expenses."

"My, that is expensive. Perhaps you should move into less ostenatious lodgings? I know it's common for pangolins who have just come into significant combat bonuses to waste it on fripperies, but it sounds like your clan has no self-control whatsoever. From what Pandā has told me about the Human Path I would expect that two or three pounds of gold per month would be adequate to let you live in luxury."

Kei laughed because that was what the concept map mandated at this stage in the negotiation. She was certain that it was the worst fake laugh ever fake-laughed in the history of fake laughter.

"With all due respect, Polemarch, I think your secretary may have mistranslated the units in Pandā's report. It would be at least one hundred pounds per month to support us in even modest comfort. That doesn't account for the extra expenses that Jiraiya has as Hokage—military equipment for his personal guard, among other things. That accounts for another twenty pounds." Pantsā wanted to make inordinate raises, hm? Turnabout was fair play. She forced herself not to think about the frankly ridiculous amounts of wealth she was throwing around so casually.

"Hmmmmmm...well, we did find a rich new vein of gold in the mountains near one of the Condor outposts," Pantsā mused. "Since you're going to be supplying us with a hundred and fifty of the Pantokrator's Eyes per month I could divert twenty pounds of gold from the military construction budget, along with the five pangolin warriors, the training jutsu, and the one other jutsu that we had discussed."

Kei bowed deeply. "I do apologize, Polemarch. I must have misspoken at the beginning of the conversation—we can only supply twenty Eyes per month without impacting our other duties." She paused, brow furrowed in thought. Pantsā probably wouldn't understand the expression but Mari-sensei always said that maintaining a cover was a matter of details. "Still, I suppose if we were financially secure then we could outsource some of our work, which would free up time for seal crafting. Also, you have shown generosity in your willingness to supply me with Pankurashun and his five warriors, plus the training jutsu and five other jutsu of our selection for each member of my clan. I suppose that I could convince Jiraiya to hire out enough of our tasks that we would have time to supply thirty Eyes per month in exchange for one hundred pounds of gold."

"I think there must have been some confusion, Summoner," Pantsā said, his mental voice puzzled. "I understood that the upfront price would be the five soldiers, Pankurashun permanently assigned to you, and the basic training jutsu for each member of your clan. I'm prepared to offer thirty pounds of gold on a monthly basis in exchange for one hundred and fifty of the Eyes."

"That's very kind of you, sir," Kei said, bowing again. "Unfortunately, it's simply not feasible. Jiraiya would punish me harshly if I bound up so much of the clan's seal-making time while leaving us in such penury. I do apologize for wasting your time. I'll let you get back to your duties."

Pankurashun chuckled. "Now, now, don't be hasty," he said. "There's always a way for reasonable people to make things work. You said that your clan leader was Polemarch of his village? Then I'm sure he has sufficient financial acumen to live comfortably on fifty pounds of gold per month while finding the time to produce a mere hundred and twenty Eyes."

"Well...." Kei said doubtfully. "I think that perhaps he wouldn't beat me too much if I managed to bring in eighty pounds of gold each month. The rest of the clan would be furious with me for making them take time out to create sixty Pantokrator's Eyes per month, but if I arranged for each of them to learn the training jutsu and four others then they would probably forgive me eventually."

"Sixty pounds might be possible," Pantsā said, "in exchange for one hundred of the Pantokrator's Judging Eyes each month. As to the rest of it, Pankurashun can teach your clan the basic training jutsu, but I'm afraid that the time of our jutsu trainers is in heavy demand right now as we prepare for the push against the Hyenas. I suppose I could require one of them to make time to teach your clan three jutsu total."

"Each Eye is a set of five seals," Kei pointed out. "They take a very long time to craft and it's not safe to hurry. We might be able to make seventy-five Eyes per month, but the clan would probably refuse unless they were each getting at least three jutsu in addition to the basic training one."

"Assuming I were willing to make such a lopsided deal, when could you deliver this month's shipment of ninety Eyes?"

Kei thought about that. The Five Seal Barrier was a useful enough seal that the team had a fair number of them already prepared, but was it a good idea to cut too sharply into their supply? "I would need to talk with my clan leader, but I would expect that we could have the first batch within three days. Um, a day is—"

"Twenty-four hours, yes," Pantsā said. "I do read the reports, Summoner." He paused to think for several of the longest seconds of Kei's life.

"I'll tell you what," the enormous pangolin said at last. "Five jutsu for your clan; you may divide them among yourself as you see fit. This is a significant gift, Summoner; the Pangolin Clan is not fond of letting our military secrets out of our control, since they could easily be stolen by someone on the Human Path and then make their way back to the Summoner of an enemy clan." He raised a massive claw in admonishment. "I'm trusting you a great deal here. Our jutsu are to be secrets of the Gōketsu Clan. They will not be shared outside your clan, studied, or modified."

"So," Keiko said carefully, "the upfront payment will be three pounds of diamonds, the full-time availability of Pankurashun and five elite pangolin of my choice, plus the training jutsu for each member of Gōketsu and five other jutsu of our choice. After that, we agree to a monthly payment of sixty pounds of gold in exchange for ninety of the Pantokrator's Judging Eyes." She paused, considering, then nodded. "My clan leader will probably be angry with me for doing such a poor job of bargaining but I suspect he'll accept the deal rather than shaming me by forcing me to go back on my word with such an important ally as the Pangolin Clan."

Pantsā snorted but took no other notice of her addition to the upfront cost. "I shall ensure that the diamonds are all of good quality," he said magnanimously. "You, however, will acknowledge the terms of our jutsu training, since it seems to have been left out of your statement of the bargain." He paused, then leaned in slightly. "You will ensure that our jutsu are kept secret, Summoner. Nor will you attempt to study or modify them." His tone had shifted from the nearly playful one he'd had while bargaining, a note of warning hanging just barely out of sight behind the words. A shiver ran down Kei's spine on icy feet.

"Yes, Pantsā," she said, trying and failing to keep her voice from squeaking at the implied threat. "I will. We will. Keep the Pangolin jutsu secret, that is. And not study or modify them."

"Excellent," the lord of the Pangolin Clan said, a smile back in his voice. "Then I believe we have a bargain. Someone is on the way with the diamonds right now. We will expect delivery of ninety Pantokrator's Judging Eyes within three days, with ninety more to follow every thirty days thereafter. A pleasure doing business with you, Summoner." He gave her a nod that was both polite and also very clearly a dismissal.

"Thank you, Polemarch," Kei said, bowing convulsively before turning and scurr—hurrying out the door. Definitely hurrying. Yes.

o-o-o-o

The entire clan stared goggle-eyed into Kei's basket of diamonds.

"Say it again," Jiraiya ordered.

Nervously, Kei repeated the terms of the bargain she had negotiated. "Is that too many seals? I know the Five Seal Barriers take time but I thought—"

Jiraiya forced himself to straighten up, blinking away his shock even as he waved her words aside. "No, it's fine. Hazō and Kagome can produce those in a couple of days, no problem—"

"Nice of us," Kagome grumbled under his breath. "Doing all the work. Greatest sealmaster in the world, can't be bothered to actually make any seals. We should—"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "I'll pitch in when I can, Kagome, but I'm just a little busy these days." He looked in the basket of diamonds again and shook his head. "In the meantime, you just solved all our financial problems, Keiko. Pantsā was generous; those are all high-quality diamonds. We can pay off the compound with what's in there, plus get some of the repairs done—"

"Plus have a decent wedding," Mari-sensei said archly.

"Don't distract me, woman. Yes, fine, wedding. Whatever. Point is, that's enough money to keep us afloat and relatively comfortable until some of the things that I have in the works come through. More importantly, the diamonds are a signal; Pantsā could easily have given us lower quality stones, but he didn't. He intends to play fair on the deal and is actually going a little out of his way to make it good for us. You'll have serious combat power, plus you should be able to find specialists who can plug holes in the team's skillsets. From what you told me about Akane, that conditioning jutsu is badass. I won't object at all to having it myself, and it will be a major edge for you kids. If the other jutsu he can give us are of even somewhat similar quality then this is going to be a real boost for the clan." He shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't expect you to get anything remotely this good. Great job, kid."

Keiko burst into fiery blushes.

Hazō considered what he might say to give her a merciful break from being the center of attention; the obvious question sprang instantly to mind. He started to reject it out of hand because asking seemed woefully stupid. Then he thought about it carefully and finally decided he needed to know—not just the answer to this question, but to the question 'how will Jiraiya act when asked difficult questions?'

"Sir...why did you let us keep it?"

"Hm?" Jiraiya asked. "Let you keep what?"

"The scroll, sir. Based on this one deal it's obviously really valuable. Why did you tell Keiko about it in the first place and, once we found it, why didn't you take it from us? You couldn't have known that we'd eventually end up being your clan."

Jiraiya studied him carefully, sipping at his sake cup as he though. Finally he sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I thought about it," he said. "I told Keiko about it in the first place because I was pretty sure there wasn't anything there. I said that at the time, remember? The chances that it was just legends and stories were much higher than there actually being a lost scroll hiding in the woods somewhere. Still, Okanao has always been a pretty sharp guy so it was possible. Things were busy at home and I didn't want to divert any Leaf ninja, but it was worth sending some missing-nin deniable assets to look into it. I figured you'd go, find nothing, and I'd come up with something else for Keiko's reward. Or maybe you'd find that Okanao had some decent information but it wasn't enough to find the scroll itself in a reasonable time period. You'd tell me whatever you found in the process of your search. I'd give Keiko some jutsu to make up for it, send you guys on your way, and then task a couple of guys from Intelligence to go track down the scoll.

"Imagine my surprise when you actually found the darn thing. You could have knocked me over with a feather!" He smiled and shook his head ruefully. "Craziest thing. Like something out of a storybook.

"Anyway, I thought about taking it from you, but it didn't make sense. I didn't know much about the Pangolins except that they were allies of the Toads, even more warlike and xenophobic than most summons, and touchy. Killing you and giving the scroll to some Leaf ninja would definitely have pissed them off and they probably wouldn't have been well inclined to deal with me."

A shiver ran down Hazō's back at the dispassionate way in which his now-Clan Leader described the possibility of killing all of them and the pragmatic reasons for not doing it.

"Why not?" Noburi asked. "I mean, if it was either have your guy as Summoner or not have a Summoner, why wouldn't they take it?"

"Most summon clans aren't really interested in trading with humans," Jiraiya said. "Like I said, they're pretty much all somewhat xenophobic; we look and smell weird and off-putting to them and there's nothing they absolutely need from us. It's hard for summons to use most human jutsu and seals are, as Keiko already heard, looked on with suspicion. They don't like the idea of their jutsu getting out on the Human Path, and trading physical goods is hard because you're limited to what the Summoner can carry back with her. Having a Summoner is useful to them, but it's not essential."

"Makes sense," Mari-sensei said, nodding. "Four hundred years the scroll sat in Isan, and in all that time the Pangolins never said to the Toads or any of their other allies, 'Hey, would you mind taking a look around for our scroll? Thanks.'"

"Bingo. Anyway, I could have taken the scroll from you by force but that would definitely have pissed off the Pangolins. Maybe I could have bought it from you or convinced you to give it to me some other way, but even that might have annoyed them.

"On the other hand, suppose I left it with you? I had the start of a decent working relationship with you lot. If I cultivated you then in a few months or a year I would probably have been able to trade with the pangolins through you. I could also send you on missions for me, meaning that the power of the Pangolin Summoner was more or less at my disposal even though you weren't Leaf. Best of all, you were deniable. If I needed someone powerful to send on a critical mission, I could do it without getting Leaf's hands dirty." He paused, clearly weighing whether or not to finish the thought; when he spoke again the words were heavy and slow. "And, of course, I could have always killed you later if I had had to."

The shiver was back in Hazō's spine and it had brought an entire pack of friends.

"My, what a nice salad!" Mari-sensei said, snatching up the salad bowl and giving it a practiced flick that made the contents jump out of the bowl and tumble back in, mixing them in the process. "So, who would like some vegetables with a side order of new topic?"

XP AWARD: 7

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 30, 2017, at 12pm London time.

OliWhail · Aug 31, 2017

Chapter 152.2: Sparring Day
(Note: This scene continues from the end of the Team Goketsu/Team Kurenai spar in Chapter 152: The Kagome Maneuver.)

As the dust continued to settle, Hazou heard mutterings and a low whistle or two from the MEW benches he'd pulled up before the bout. He looked to the side of the now-scarred field at the gathering of other Examinees. Mari-sensei had leveraged her position as the Hokage's wife to orchestrate an entire day full of chances to make connections in Konoha's upper echelons, not to mention the chance to set up alliances and non-aggression pacts for the early stages of the Exams. ("Of course it isn't against the rules", she had chided him when he asked. "It's expected - hell, they probably hit you with demerits if you didn't show favoritism to your own village.")

Kurenai raised an eyebrow at Mari-sensei before tossing over a bag of coins with a small shake of her head. "Won triple-or-nothing and still lost money, with how many tags that took."

Mari-sensei winked. "Oh, but the look on your face was so worth it." They both laughed.

The genin observing from the sidelines looked decidedly less amused. Hazou noticed Shikamaru frowning -- no prize for guessing what was going through his head -- and Lee was openly gaping. The rest looked somewhere between stoic and unnerved.

Hazou's attention was pulled back by Noburi's voice. "You were right," he said simply. Hazou nodded. He'd figured Noburi would be able to detect the Aburame bugs more easily than normal insects. No sense talking more about it anywhere near a Hyuuga though.

"Okay, Teams Goketsu and Kurenai clear the field and recover for your third bout," Mari-sensei called out. "Teams Asuma and Gai, you're up!"

Hazou made his way over to the benches and pulled out a canteen. The other fighters followed him, Team Kurenai moving more slowly and gingerly than his own teammates.

"Begin!" Gai shouted boisterously.

Lee took off like a shot toward the opposing team, whooping, with Tenten and Neji right behind him.

Shikamaru managed to jump backward, but Lee was too fast for Ino to avoid him. Choji made to step forward to try and intercept the older boy, only for Lee to blur forward and plant a barely-restrained horse kick into his gut and send him sprawling, rolling along the ground. Hazou winced, and tried to convince himself he'd imagined the crunching sound.

At the same time, Tenten flicked a cloud of shuriken almost casually toward Shikamaru's position, battering his entire body in precisely the right order to cause his limbs to spasm and give out just as he landed from his retreating leap. Shikamaru collapsed in a nerveless heap, scored all over with red welts that Hazou was sure would be nasty bruises before morning.

Finally, Neji closed in on Ino, like a chakra-dolphin that had caught the scent of some poor shark's blood. She tried to maintain her distance, tried to dance out of the way of his strike, but it was like she was moving through chilled molasses. Neji's arms blurred into a series of surgical jabs into Ino's torso and arms, culminating in an elbow-strike to her gut. She fell back, limp. His expression looked to Hazou like nothing so much as an academy instructor showing students the most mind-numbingly trivial kata in the book on the first day of classes.

Silence reigned for a few seconds, interrupted by Choji's retching.

All participants start at Long range to one another

Round 1
Initiative: Lee > Tenten > Neji > Choji > Shikamaru > Ino

Lee:
- Close range with enemy team. TacMov vs Choji (+19, A), Shikamaru (+44, B), Ino (+63, C)
- Choji is charging, engage him first. Taijutsu vs Taijutsu: +96, CRUSHING VICTORY

Lee is at Melee with Ino and Medium with Shikamaru. Neji and Tenten are at Long with Ino and Extreme with Shikamaru.

Tenten:
- Close range with Shikamaru, who has backed away from Lee's advance. TavcMov: +56, C
- Tenten chooses to stop at Medium range.
- Tenten Ranged Weapons vs Shikamaru TacMov: +98, CRUSHING VICTORY

Neji:
- Close range with Ino. Tacmov: +96, CRUSHING VICTORY
- Taijutsu vs TacMov (dodging): +99, CRUSHING VICTORY

"I think we can dispense with going best of three," Asuma said, concern evident in his voice as he approached his downed students.

"Iiiii'm gonna go see if they're okay," Noburi mumbled before standing up and jogging over as well.

"Well, that was certainly energetic," Mari-sensei observed neutrally as the losing team was checked over. "Up, next, third round of Goketsu vs Kurenai, no-defensive-seals-for-my-kids edition!"

"Wha- sensei! No defensive seals?" Hazou gasped.

"Yep! It made the fight boring last time. Pretend it's the end of a long survival exercise in the exams and you've run out."

"Do the survival exercises typically go for the week or so it would take for that to happen with the loadout Hazou has been proposing?" inquired Keiko sarcastically.

"Admittedly not," Mari-sensei answered with a shrug. "Now get in there!"

...

Hinata wasn't nervous as she took her place across from Team Goketsu -- if they weren't allowed to use defensive seals, that would mean they needed to actually fight rather than try to turtle up. Since that hadn't been their first choice, it probably meant they were worse at it, as evidenced by the first round going well for her team when they'd managed to prevent the setup of the enemies' seal barrier.

Definitely not nervous, she reassured herself. No, there was certainly no way that the Goketsu might just fling offensive seals all over the battlefield, nor any way that could result in serious bodily harm.

She heard Yuhi-sensei shout "Fight!"

Things started happening very fast. The two boys on the enemy team sprinted forward to meet her and Kiba. Kiba and Hazou were fastest -- she watched as Kiba and Akamaru leapt forward, beginning to spin up into Fang Over Fang, hopefully he'd be able to take out Hazou quickly and then they could focus on--

Hazou slipped in between Kiba's whirling limbs like they weren't even there. Kiba was angled all wrong, attacking the place Hazou should have been but wasn't. Hazou brought a brutal elbow strike down on Kiba's throat just as he passed by, revolving in midair, and went to the ground with him, kunai to her teammate's throat.

"Syrup Trap no Jutsu!"

Crap, she'd totally forgotten about Noburi! The shorter boy had stopped several paces back, and was rearing his head back to -- ew!

Hinata tried to divert course, to leap out of the way of the tidal wave of pale gray-lavender goop spewing from Noburi's mouth and blotting out the sun, but it wasn't any use - she got completely covered in the rapidly-hardening gunk, and she could hear Shino struggling with it behind her.

Speaking of Shino, an instant later a boiling cloud of his allies flooded past and around her toward the two Goketsu boys. Both leapt to the side, Noburi now holding a seal of some kind, but not fast enough; they were both at least partially caught. That was good, maybe they could turn this around, now she and Shino just needed to get out of this thrice-damned-- shit, Keiko just threw something!

WHUMP

The training tag might have knocked her off her feet if she hadn't been stuck so thoroughly into place by Noburi's technique. "Dead," Keiko observed from the other end of the field with a note of utter finality, already pulling out her canteen and beginning to walk over to the benches.

"Yeah, I've gotta agree with her guys," Yuhi-sensei said, smiling ruefully. "Goketsu, how long does that sticky stuff last?"

"Twenty minutes or so, ma'am," Noburi responded, looking up briefly from his spot next to Kiba, already running a hand glowing with medical chakra over the other boy's neck. "Might be a little longer, I put a lot of juice into that one."

Hinata sighed. At least that meant she wouldn't have to try and wash it out.

All participants start at Long range to one another.

Round 1
Initiative: Hazou > Noburi > Shino > Keiko > Kiba > Hinata

Hazou:
- Close Distance. Tacmov (boosted) vs Shino (boosted): +36, B; Kiba (boosted): +11, A; Hinata (boosted):+33, B. Hazou ends up in melee with Kiba and Medium to Hinata and Shino.
- Roki+Deception vs. Kiba: Deception (+94, CRUSHING VICTORY)
- Taijutsu (boosted) + Roki vs. Kiba: Taijutsu (boosted) + technique: +52, C

Noburi:
- Close Range, TacMov (boosted) vs. Hinata: TacMov (boosted) (-12, -A), Shino: TacMov (boosted) (-25, -B)

(Well that didn't work. No Water Whip for you, Noburi! Better use your long-range option.)

- Syrup Trap (boosted) vs. Hinata: TacMov (boosted) (+88, CRUSHING VICTORY), vs. Shino: TacMov (boosted) (+84, CRUSHING VICTORY)
- Grab Misterator (quick)

Shino
- Bugs! (boosted) vs. Hazou: TacMov (boosted) (+12, A), Noburi: TacMov (boosted) (+10, A)
- Both boys lose 15 CP
- TacMov (boosted) to Open Distance: Syrup Trap completely negates roll.

Keiko:
- Grab bruising-tagged explosive kunai (Quick)
- Activate tag (Quick)
- Ranged Weapons, right between the two still-standing enemies. vs. Shino: TacMov (boosted) (+25, B), vs. Hinata: TacMov (boosted) (+23,B)

...

At that point Mari-sensei decided it was time for brunch. Noburi sat down at the place marked with his name near one end of the MEW dining table and stools Hazou had made (really, that justu was so useful), with Hinata at the table head to his right, Ino across from him, and a curiously empty spot to his left. He tried not to be jealous of Hazou sitting at the opposite table head, in the heir's place. The fact that Mari had positioned him next to Ino and Hinata helped some.

"Hello everyone!"

Noburi recognized Akane's voice and turned toward the path that led into the training ground. She was smiling brightly and waving, leading a pair of ninja -- one pink-haired girl, and one brown-haired guy with his forehead protector on a bandana over his whole head -- toward the assembled group.

Hazou stood up to greet them, and Akane practically bounced forward to tackle him in a hug. After a couple moments of borderline bone-breaking enthusiasm, she turned toward the table as a whole.

"I am sorry we couldn't be here for the earlier sparring. I would like to introduce you all to Sakura Haruno and Haru Yamamoto, my teammates for the exams," she said, gesturing. The other two bowed politely, smiling. All three of them found their places -- Sakura taking the empty spot just to Noburi's left, between himself and Neji.

"Glad to meet you, Haruno," Noburi said, putting on his most disarming smile. "Have you met Hyuuga and Yamanaka before?" he asked, gesturing

"I have! We were actually in the same graduating class," Haruno replied, smiling warmly at Hinata and nodding… somewhat less warmly at Ino.

"Ah, I see! What was your team so busy with this morning?"

"Oh, some quick teambuilding exercises. None of us were originally grouped together, you see. My teammates were promoted in the last round of exams, Haru... lost... both of his over the last couple years, and, well, you know Akane's story."

"Both your teammates were promoted? Only a year out of the academy?" Noburi asked, astonished. "Did you attend too?"

Haruno nodded, her face growing serious. "Yes. I was placed on a team with the Uchiha heir and the son of the Fourth Hokage, and, well, they both lived up to those expectations. I… haven't, really."

Aha, a girl having an unwarranted crisis of conidence! Now that, he could deal with. "Don't be ridiculous," he said playfully. "Even going to the Exams this soon after graduating says a lot about how talented you must be. Being selected to go again means the Hokage has a lot of confidence that you'll help the village present a strong face to the other nations."

Haruno's face was rapidly reddening. As she opened her mouth to respond, though, Mari-sensei clapped for everyone's attention. "Alright everyone, please flip your name placard over. You'll find a storage seal on the bottom side -- I worked hard to prepare things I thought you'd each like, so please enjoy! After this, we'll be drawing for 1v1 spars!"

Noburi caught the glances between all the members of Team Uplift at the mention of Mari-sensei preparing the food, but nevertheless gamely activated his assigned tag. A bento box materialized, and he popped it open to reveal the steaming hot contents. Upon seeing the sushi and shrimp tempura within, he joined in the general cry of "Itadakimasu!" around the table.

"Goketsu, if it's not too forward," Hinata asked, frowning, as she dug into her own meal, "why not simply have servants bring these out?"

"Hm?" Noburi inquired, mouth full.

"I just mean that, while the Hokage certainly has a reputation for sealcraft, surely this is… a bit extravagant. Similarly, the number of explosives you used during our first bout was frankly astounding. As neither storage seals nor explosives are particularly indicative of skill, it seems to mostly be a play to show off the Hokage's wealth rather than his prowess. But I would expect Lord Fifth to be more subtle, so I'm confused."

"Maybe you're just more observant than other people," Noburi suggested wryly.

She ate a piece of sushi wordlessly, staring at him.

He sighed. "Truth be told, it's just that we haven't had the time to vet and hire servants. That, and that between my brother, Uncle Kagome, and Jiraiya, we have more tags than we know what to do with most of the time. Better to use them to impress people than to kill them, we figure."

"Sorry, your brother?" Hinata asked.

Noburi nodded. "Hazou's a sealsmith. A freakishly good one, for someone our age. I thought everyone knew that? The Hokage announced it during our adoption speech, I'm pretty sure."

"We were out of the city at the time, I'm afraid" Hinata responded. "We only got back within the last couple days."

"Oh, then you haven't heard!" Ino cut in. "Jiro and Sora are finally dating!"

"No!" Noburi exclaimed excitedly.

"Yes! They-- you don't even know who I'm talking about."

"Why should that stop me?" Noburi asked, shrugging as he brought another bit of crunchy squid to his mouth.

-o-

This update covered the remainder of the day from Chapter 152. Other stuff that happened (because it's getting late and I want to post this):

After lunch the group was split by "random draw" into pairs. Hazou was paired off with Akane, Noburi with Hinata, and Keiko with Tenten. Purely by coincidence.
Observing other teams led to some interesting data. For example, Shino knows Hiding Like a Mole, and uses it to escape below-ground while his allies provide sensory information and let him fight anyone up top. Shikamaru uses a simple Doton technique called Practice Brick to raise up dirt walls and create areas of shadow for his family's techniques.
Everyone got together at the end of the day for dinner. The various sensei came over from their table to run everyone through verbal 'tactical simulations' and encourage group discussion about what might be the best course of action. They also told you guys about past exam events, including (but not limited to) team battles, written examinations, survival exercises for both individuals and teams, interrogation resistance, randomized team leadership, tactical simulations, stealth and infiltration, objective defense, and multi-team versions of a lot of the above.
Noburi refilled Hazou, who was near-collapse after getting drained by Shino's bugs.
Noburi also reported that Neji was helping make sure Team Asuma was okay by using his Byakugan to check for internal damage.
Everyone generally agreed to avoid going after one another in the early events.

XP Award: 4

Voting is still open. Voting ends Saturday, September 2 at 9am, Eastern time, and will count plans and votes from Ch. 154 onward.

eaglejarl · Sep 4, 2017

Chapter 155: You Can't Go Home Again

Jiraiya paused, clearly weighing whether or not to finish the thought; when he spoke again the words were heavy and slow. "And, of course, I could always have killed you later if I had had to." The shiver was back in Hazō's spine and it had brought an entire pack of friends.

"My, what a nice salad!" Mari-sensei said, snatching up the salad bowl and giving it a practiced flick that made the contents jump out of the bowl and tumble back in, mixing them in the process. "So, who would like some vegetables with a side order of new topic?"

"So, about those seals for the pangolins," Hazō said, diving eagerly into the proffered conversational escape hatch. "We need ninety seals for this month's supply, and we'll need another ninety next month. We need to focus on training, but we should get at least the first batch done before we leave for Mist. How many do we already have?"

"I have my three sets of skytowers," Noburi said.

"I as well."

"I gave you guys mine before you left to deliver the mail," Mari-sensei said, shaking her head; the motion made the bonfire curtain of her hair sway and shimmer in the candlelight. Hazō noticed Jiraiya noticing and firmly did not allow himself to think of the implications of the Toad Sage's tiny smile.

"I've got a dozen or so stashed away," Jiraiya offered. "Handy thing, but a pain in the ass to make." He turned to the one person at the table who remained both silent and shifty-eyed. "Kagome, how about you?"

"What about me?" Kagome-sensei growled suspiciously.

"How many of the Five Seal Barriers do you have?" Jiraiya asked patiently.

"Thi— Te— None of your business! I mean, I don't have any! I used them all up while we were on that stupid mail delivery mission killing civilians—which absolutely did not bother me!—and having Dumbbutt get her head practically cut off!"

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "You used them all up?"

"Uh-huh!"

"You used up your entire supply of Five-Seal Barriers, which last for a full month of continuous activation and can be turned on and off repeatedly in the interim?"

Kagome-sensei's eyes flicked from side to side nervously. "...Yes?"

"Kagome," Mari-sensei said reprovingly. "Come on, you don't want Keiko to get in trouble with the Pangolin Clan, do you? She promised them we'd have the full supply in three days."

Kagome-sensei's face worked as though he'd just bitten a lemon. "Maybe there's a few in one of my old packs," he mumbled.

"More than ten?" Jiraiya asked.

More lemon-face. "Maybe."

"More than fifty?"

"N— I don't know! I'd need to check. Because I'm not even sure they're there. Probably just misremembering. Oh, but don't worry, Keiko, I'll make you some more."

"Sounds like we have a couple of dozen between us," Hazō said. "Kagome-sensei, you and I will have to make up the difference as quickly as possible so that we can train for the Chūnin Exams. Can't afford to skimp on training when we're going to be doing all that fighting, after all."

"Stupid idea," Kagome-sensei mumbled, jabbing his chopsticks into the rice and shoveling his mouth full. "Thouldn go 'o Mift," he mumbled, spraying rice everywhere as he chewed rebelliously. (With, of course, his mouth open.) He paused to gulp down the rice. "Just promote them. You're the stinking Hokage, wave your brush around and make them chūnin."

Jiraiya sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. "Kagome, I get it, I really do. Taking our family to Mist has its risks, but sometimes risks are necessary. And it's not like we're leaving them unprotected. I'll be there, most of Leaf's elite jōnin will be there, and our nastiest, most lethal ANBU agents will be keeping an eye on everyone at all times. I promise, if the kids so much as get a hangnail outside of a legitimate event, I will burn Mist to the ground, but—"

Kagome-sensei's head came up, a disturbing smile on his face and eyes shining with insane excitement. "Really? I can help with that! If you just let me come along, I could—"

"No, Kagome. I explained this already. You need to stay here with Mari and secure the compound. Can't have our enemies sneaking in here and leaving traps or lupchanzen lying around, now can we? There's no one else I would trust to keep our home safe while we're away."

Kagome-sensei seemed slightly mollified, but he still dug into his food with resentful vigor, all the while mumbling something about "stinking idiots...walking right into a trap...boom, squish!"

"Speaking of keeping us safe," Hazō said, "I think I'm about done. If you'll excuse me, I'll go start on those seals for Keiko."

Kagome-sensei's head jerked up guiltily. "I'll help," he said, dropping his bowl in his hurry to get up. Rice and heavily-sauced chicken spilled across the table, but the sealmaster didn't seem to notice as he hurried out.

o-o-o-o

Mari tapped softly at the door and waited a moment before pushing it open slowly; it didn't do to barge in on working sealmasters. She stuck her head in, checked to make sure that there were no eldritch abominations destroying the place, and then stepped inside.

"Might want to take a break," she said calmly. "You guys have been in here for five hours. It's well after midnight."

"I'm fine, no problems, not even a little tired," Kagome mumbled, focusing closely on the seal he was drawing.

"Mm-hm. Hazō?"

Hazō glanced up with a smile, then looked down at what he was doing. Even when he looked away, the Iron Nerve guided his arm unerringly through the patterns of the seal he was working on. Mari was grateful that he didn't look up for more than a moment, though; as far as she understood it, his bloodline didn't lock his entire body into a specific movement—some minor modifications were needed in order to, for example, walk on ground whose topography wasn't exactly the same as that on which the original motion had been executed. Still, she was pretty sure that the tolerances weren't high and she definitely didn't want to think what would happen if he exceeded them while scribing seals.

"Doing fine, sensei," he said. "I really want to get these done as soon as possible. Can't take a chance on some distraction coming up and preventing us from delivering on time."

"Well, you guys would know best," Mari said doubtfully. "Still, make sure you get some sleep."

"Yes, sensei."

o-o-o-o

Tap, tap, creeeeakk.

"I brought you some tea," Mari said, shuffling in wearing her pink silk bathrobe and a ridiculously floofy pair of slippers that she'd found in the marketplace. They were fleecy, with fancy beadwork on the top and purely-decorative laces tipped in small silver aglets. They looked ridiculous, didn't have great traction, and the aglets clicked against the beadwork when she walked. They were the sort of footwear that no sensible ninja would wear and she absolutely adored them.

She crossed the room carefully, making a wide circle around the various neat stacks of papers and seal blanks, and set the tea tray down next to Kagome. "It's strong, and very hot, so don't burn yourself."

Kagome set his brush down and grunted his thanks as he poured a mug of the stuff straight down his throat. He spent the next several seconds frantically sucking in air to cool off his burned tongue.

"You sure you don't want a break? It's almost four."

"I'm fine!" Kagome snapped, grabbing his brush. "Besides, Hazō's still working, so why shouldn't I be?"

"Uh-huh. Well, enjoy the tea."

o-o-o-o

Tap, tap, creeeak.

Mari poked her freshly-bathed head in, looking around just in time to see Hazō finish the seal he was working on. He lay it down beside his left knee, switched his brush to his left hand, moved the seal that had apparently just finished drying from its spot by his right knee onto the pile of blanks beside him, switched his brush back to his right hand, pulled another sheet of paper off the stack in front of him, and began drawing the seal again. Kagome was curled up to the side, sound asleep with a dab of ink on his nose.

She sighed in relief. She should have trusted that Kagome wouldn't be stupid enough to scribe for fifteen hours without a rest, even if his "stinking cheating cheater bloodline that cheats" student was still working. Apparently the world would not end today due to a seal drawn by a man too exhausted to see straight.

Carefully, she shut the door.

o-o-o-o

It had been a long night-and-morning of sealcrafting, but the work was done. Or, at least, Hazō's part was done now that the blanks were drawn. He had yet to learn the Five-Seal Barrier seal, so Kagome-sensei or Jiraiya would need to infuse them. Still, that was a lot less effort and vastly less time-consuming than actually setting brush to paper. After a certain point it even became easy enough to do without paying much attention—witness the fact that Jiraiya had simply told him to "just drop the pile on the desk with all the other papers; I'll go through them while I read the morning reports." Hazō was confident that it would be a long time before he felt safe doing that.

Regardless, the work was done and it was the Hokage's problem now. Kagome-sensei was still napping, but Hazō didn't want to waste any more time so he hurried to the training field where the rest of the Leaf teams were working out. The day was definitely chilly so he threw on a light jacket for the jog over.

Akane and her team weren't there, much to his disappointment. Perhaps their sensei was drilling them in private, or perhaps Akane had come up with some bizarre and highly youthful method of training and convinced her teammates to go along with the madness. Maybe something like climbing the Hokage Monument with only one hand and no feet while simultaneously reciting the Way of the Leaf Ninja manual at the top of their lungs.

He smiled fondly to himself. Okay, maybe not that. That was a little crazy even for Akane.

"Aburame!" Hazō called, catching sight of the boy running slow laps around the training field. Hazō waved and jogged over, falling in beside the bug user.

"Good morning, Gōketsu," Aburame said. "You are later to the field than usual."

"I was making some seal blanks," Hazō explained. "Keiko needed them."

Aburame nodded. "Unsurprising. Why? Because your family appears to use a great number of seals, even just in training."

Hazō glanced over at his running partner, wondering if that was intended to be mocking, condescending, or merely an observation. The Aburame boy was always so deadpan that it was hard to tell, and the way his glasses covered his eyes didn't help.

"Yeah, we do," Hazō said. "You've got your insects in the family, we've got three sealmasters. We all play to our strengths. Anyway, on a kinda-related note, I wanted to ask you about your glasses. I've been trying to find something like them and it's been harder than expected. Can I ask where you got them?"

"My clan makes them," Aburame said. "Why? They are related to my family's secret arts."

"Oh," Hazō said, disappointed. "I guess there's no chance of buying some then?"

"In principle, you could," Aburame said. "However, they are quite expensive, as making them is a difficult and time-consuming process. Creating glass clear enough to see through without distortion is challenging, and making ones that will improve vision even more so. There are very few people outside our clan who have Aburame glasses or goggles."

"Well, I don't need my vision improved," Hazō said, lengthening his stride slightly to leap over a tuft of spiky grass. The stalks turned and snapped at him as he went by. "I just want something that would help protect against dust or glare."

"I am happy to arrange a conversation with one of our glassmakers, if you wish. I will comment, however, that making smoked glasses such as the ones I am wearing is even more difficult and therefore expensive."

"Well, I'd still like to talk to them." Inwardly, he cursed. Why couldn't things ever be easy?

"I will arrange it," Aburame said again. "Going back to the topic of seals for a moment, your 'Kagome Maneuver' was quite impressive. If I may ask, how did you manage to set off so many seals at once?"

Hazō smiled. "Your family has its secret arts, my family has mine."

"I see," Aburame said. "Would it have anything to do with those paired seals that were attached to all the explosives and projected beams of invisible chakra between them? Beams that the three of you swung your arms through just before everything exploded?"

Hazō's smile vanished. He sighed. "Hyūga?"

The other boy nodded politely, unable to keep a tiny smile off his face.

"You know," Hazō said, studying his counterpart as they turned the corner onto the short side of the field, "if I didn't know better, I'd think you were taunting me."

"I would never do such a thing," Aburame said calmly. "Why? Because it would be unprofessional to taunt an opponent." He jogged in silence for a dozen yards before adding, "Besides, even if I were to be so unprofessional, there is no satisfaction in taunting the oblivious." His face and voice were absolutely deadpan as he glanced over at Hazō. "By the way, the Hyūga family has a bloodline called the Byakugan. It allows them to see chakra. I thought perhaps I should tell you, since you didn't seem to be aware."

Hazō eyed him sourly. "Of course you know, this means war."

"I am given to understand that there will be some sort of competition soon," the other boy said calmly, a tiny hint of laughter peeking out from behind the Aburame reserve. "Perhaps a good opportunity for an oblivious person to work on his mental perception so he does not miss the obvious again."

"And for a slowpoke to work on his speed so he doesn't get glued down again!" Hazō said, thwapping Aburame on the back. "You're it!" He took off at a sprint, leaving the surprised bug user in his dust for three long strides before the other boy got himself together again and gave chase. Hazō laughed merrily and lengthened his stride.

o-o-o-o

It was early evening, dinner was simmering in the oven, and four-sixths of Clan Gōketsu were in the living room. They'd gravitated to the room because it had a giant fireplace that did a good job of keeping the place warm. Also, there were no holes in the walls, floor, or ceiling, and it didn't smell of mildew. And, of course, furniture.

Keiko was curled up in a chair opposite the fire, feet tucked under her and her nose in a book. She had one of Jiraiya's Lantern seals on the chair arm for light and a cup of tea slowly cooling on the end table beside her. She hadn't spoken or moved for half an hour except to turn pages. Jiraiya was seated on the end of a futon next to the fire, with Mari-sensei on the floor between his feet so he could rub her back. Hazō was sitting in a giant, overstuffed armchair next to the fire, another Lantern seal beside him so that he could write lists of things that the team should bring to the Exams. He was done with the first draft of Keiko's list and was moving on to general supplies.

"Hey guys, check this out," Noburi said, strutting through the door. The cause of his swagger was apparent: the barrel on his back was newly-reinforced with extra steel bands. He was trying his best to make it look casual, but the weight was clearly dragging him down.

"After that stinking Inuzuka broke my practice barrel—" Noburi paused, raising a finger to interrupt himself. "And I do mean stinking, kid smelled like wet dog."

"I believe that is because he and his dog got soaked the first time he broke your barrel," Keiko observed, not looking up from her book.

Noburi glowered at her. "Hey, he just got lucky. Didn't do so well the second time, did he? Or the third time."

Keiko nodded soberly. "Very true. The second time we defeated him through the expenditure of over a hundred seals. The third time, Hazō elbowed him in the throat."

"You know, Keiko," Mari-sensei said casually, pouring a cup of tea as she spoke, "usually it's the boys who dip the girls' pigtails in the ink well." She passed the cup back to Jiraiya and poured a second for herself.

Keiko blushed so hard that Hazō imagined he could smell smoke. "Mari-sensei! That's not...I mean...I—"

"Dipping pigtails in inkwells?" Noburi asked, frowning.

Hazō set a hand on his friend's shoulder and gave him a serious look. "I'll tell you when you're older." Noburi glared at him in reply, and opened his mouth to say something.

"Teasing aside, that's a smart move, Noburi," Mari-sensei said, leaning forward so Jiraiya could more easily get at the middle of her back. The two of them had been gaggingly nauseating lately, exchanging kisses right out in public and everything. Even worse was when his fingers released a particular knot in her neck or back and she moaned in relief.

"Told you I was good," Jiraiya said smugly, shifting his grip slightly to get the next sore spot. Mari-sensei moaned again, her head falling forward onto her knees as she melted into his fingers.

"Yes dear," she said, the words slightly slurred with relaxation. She reached back and patted his hand. "Master of the bedroom arts, etc etc, whatever. More rubbing, less bragging."

"Be nice, woman!" Jiraiya said, taking his hands back in offense.

Quick as a wink, Mari-sensei spun around and leaned forward, both hands on his knee, looking up at him with soulful eyes. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, that was mean. It's not bragging if it's true, and Sage knows that you have more to brag about than any man I've ever known. Please forgive me?"

Jiraiya burst into laughter. "Does that really work?"

She nodded happily. "Every time. With the especially dumb ones I make sure to look at their crotch when I say 'more to brag about'. Most men need it spelled out, you know?"

Jiraiya shook his head, laughing ruefully, and twirled his finger in a 'turn around' gesture. Gratefully, Mari-sensei turned back so that Jiraiya could resume rubbing her shoulders. The redhead sighed happily and melted again.

"What's going on in—Sage's nose hairs! Noburi, what did you do to your barrel?!"

"Hey, Kagome. Pretty cool, huh?" Noburi turned so that Kagome could get a closer look at the barrel.

The sealmaster shoved his beaky nose up against the barrel, examining the retrofitted metal bands with a disapproving eye.

"Looks heavy," he grunted.

Noburi shrugged and turned to face the older man. "Yeah, it is. Better than getting the darn thing broken every ten minutes though, right? Word seems to have gotten around and everyone keeps targeting it in sparring."

"Doesn't cover the whole barrel," Kagome said. "Could still break."

"Yeah, we experimented with some sheet steel but any thickness that was going to matter was too heavy for me to handle and still move well."

"Noburi, no offense, but, are you the only one of your family who isn't an idiot?" Hazō asked. "I mean, the barrel is your not-so-secret weakpoint. One good hit and you guys drop."

"Thank you, Hazō, for that sensitive analysis of my and my clan's combat worth."

Hazō waved the words aside in irritation. "You know what I mean. Why isn't it normal to have it armored?"

"It's sturdier than you'd think," Noburi said. "It's pretty much only going to break if a stinking dog-boy-thing rips through it with ninjutsu, so—"

"Or if a zombie punches a hole in it with a sword," Mari-sensei added helpfully. The snark was ruined by the immediate moan as Jiraiya's fingers released another tense spot.

"Your back is a mess, girl," Jiraiya said. "Seriously, I could bounce kunai off some of these."

"I know," Mari-sensei said. "You're the only one strong enough to make me relax. I feel safe when I'm with you."

Jiraiya snickered. The genin gagged.

"Anyway," Noburi said, desperately trying to distract himself, "Wakahisa barrels are sturdy. It pretty much needs ninja to break them. And we're a support clan, so it doesn't happen too much."

"Yeah, and that's another thing. Why in all the names of the Sage are you guys wasted on a support role? With some practice in your bloodline you're unstoppable combat gods."

Noburi smiled. "We—they are unstoppable combat gods who have the second or third lowest casualty rate in Mist because they're in support. Coincidentally, they're one of the largest and richest clans."

Hazō grimaced in disgust. "So they're all—" He bit back the word 'cowards' just before it escaped.

Noburi's laugh was cut short when Kagome-sensei, who had been continuing to study the barrel intently while ignoring all the byplay with an obliviousness that Hazō wished he himself could manage, poked at the barrel's new steel reinforcements hard enough to almost knock Noburi over.

"Hey, watch it!" Noburi yelped.

"Wait here," Kagome-sensei. He turned and walked out of the room.

Noburi looked after him nervously. "Something's going to explode, isn't it?"

"It's Kagome," Keiko said, calmly turning a page of her book.

"Here," Kagome-sensei said, returning with a backpack which he promptly thrust at Noburi.

The genin took the pack automatically and untied the top flap so he could look inside, then frowned. He brought the pack over to the fireplace where the light was better and set it down in front of Mari-sensei and Jiraiya. Hazō crowded in, craning his neck to see. Keiko slipped a bookmark in her book and joined them silently.

The thing was ingenious. Somehow, Kagome-sensei had taken an ironwood log, split it in half lengthwise, and hollowed out most of it to form a semi-circular frame with an attached platform at the bottom. The frame was just the right size for Noburi's barrel, as proven by the fact that the genin's spare Wakahisa barrel was already inside it, held tight against the frame with a net of cords. The net was permanently affixed to one side of the frame, spliced through holes carved for the purpose, while the opposite ends had stopper knots jammed through slots in the wood. Heavy canvas straps at the top and sides allowed it to be worn as a backpack with hip strap; both the frame and the straps were thoroughly padded with fleece. A steel plate, carved to fit, rested atop the barrel, held in place by a pair of leather cords and firmly attached to the frame by a lanyard so it couldn't be lost. The strangest part, however, were the green tubes that ran vertically up and down the sides of the barrel, woven under the netting at top and bottom.

"They're, uh, sand socks?" Kagome-sensei said nervously. "Waterproofed canvas tube full of sand, heavy leather sleeve around it, more waterproofed canvas over that. Not quite as strong as steel, but way lighter and easier to replace if they get damaged. Stronger if you put a couple layers of them on. Better against blunt force than cutting, because the sand leaks if the sock gets cut too badly, but the leather is tough and I wound some wire around the inner canvas before I put it in. You can decide how many you want; there's fifty full ones in the storage seal here." He flipped the thing on its side and jiggled an unremarkable piece of the frame until it popped loose to reveal three separate storage seals.

"Top seal's the extra sand socks, netting, and spare parts," he said, fidgeting anxiously. "Middle ones a bunch of seal blanks. Explosives, air domes, storage seals, air cleaners, alarms, earmuffs, tunneler's friends, silence mines, earbusters...everything that Hazō can infuse, really. Mostly explosives, though. I, um...I put some snacks and camping gear in the third one. Warm socks, that kind of thing. Never have too many warm socks when you're camping."

Noburi stared at the sealmaster in shock. "Kagome...I...don't know what to say...this is...."

Kagome-sensei swallowed, his eyes darting from side to side. "Stupid? Um, yeah, I know. Sorry. Probably too heavy. I should have left one seal empty for your stuff. And socks? What was I thinking with socks? That's just dumb. I'll get you something else."

"No!" Noburi said. "Kagome, this is amazing. No one's ever given me anything like this before. This is really thoughtful, and beautiful. It must have taken a lot of work."

Kagome-sensei shrugged uncomfortably. "You needed it for the Exams, I had some time, and I like carving," he said. He held his thumb and finger out an inch apart, thrust them towards the frame and whispered, "Boom!"

"You carved this with explosives?" Mari-sensei said, surprised.

"Just the big parts," Kagome-sensei said. "Did the detail work by hand. Oh, I almost forgot." He pulled back the lip of one of the sand socks and pointed inside. "Shaped charges inside each sock. Some stinker tries to sneak up on you, just reach over your shoulder and get a finger here. Boom! Squish!" He clapped both hands together as though killing a fly, then tossed them open to suggest the following rain of giblets. He looked at Noburi, suddenly uncertain. "Um...each of the socks says 'this side in' on one side. You should probably make sure it's facing in. And make sure the middle of each sock is outside the netting or it'll cut it and then the barrel won't be stable until you replace it. The netting, I mean. Not the barrel. No reason to replace the barrel. Try not to have to, though—I didn't manage to finish studying the seals yet so I couldn't make any more."

"Hang on, you were studying the seals?" Noburi said. "You should have asked first, Kagome."

The sealmaster frowned. "Why?"

"Those are secret! They're my fam...." He trailed off, looking thoughtful.

"Oh," Kagome-sensei said, sounding lost. "I thought we were...I mean...."

Noburi smiled. "You know what? You're absolutely right. We are family now, and these seals belong to all of us. I'm sorry I snapped; I guess it still hasn't quite sunk in, you know?" The smile fell away and he looked at the older ninja seriously, reaching out to clasp his forearm. "Thank you, Kagome. This is an amazing gift, and I'll be surprised if it doesn't save my life at some point. You're the best uncle anyone could ask for."

Kagome-sensei looked shocked. "Uncle?"

"Well, yeah?" Noburi said, chuckling. "You're Jiraiya's cousin, Jiraiya is supposed to be our father, I figure that makes you my uncle. I mean, if you're okay with it...? If it's a problem—"

"Yes! No! I mean yes, it's good, no, it's no problem. Uncle is good. Yes." The man seemed slightly dazed for a moment, then shook it off. "Um...you guys are leaving tomorrow, so I thought maybe this would be a good time for, um...oh! Dinner! Right, we need to eat first. Come on!"

"Dinner's about half an hour from ready, Kagome," Mari-sensei said.

The sealmaster's long, beaky face fell for the second time in two minutes. "Oh."

"What did you want to do?" she asked.

Fidget, fidget. "Um...I wanted to...have dinner?"

"Interesting," Keiko said. "I thought perhaps you had wanted to give Mari-sensei her birthday present."

"You can't say that!" Kagome-sensei said. "It's a surprise!" He clapped his hands over his mouth. "I mean, birthdays are supposed to be a surprise. Not that I have a present for her. Because I don't. I forgot it was her birthday. Didn't cross my mind at all. And you're not allowed to give presents before dinner. That was the rule. Food first, then presents."

Mari-sensei clasped her hands under her chin, her eyes getting huge and her smile gleeful. "Presents? For meeee? Gimme gimme gimme!"

"Mari," Jiraiya said sternly. "Be good."

Mari-sensei pouted. "Gimme, please."

"But...dinner," Kagome-sensei said, gesturing helplessly towards the pot on the fire. "I thought we had to eat before we could do presents?"

"Rules are meant to be broken," Jiraiya said, pushing himself to his feet with a smile and offering Mari-sensei a hand up.

Kagome nodded seriously. "I'll remember that."

"Wait...that's not what I...oh dear."

Mari-sensei patted her husband comfortingly on the arm. "It's okay dear. The village will probably still be standing when you come back. Kagome, it's okay to do presents first this time."

"Oh," the sealmaster said. "Good. Here." He pulled something out of his pocket and pushed it into her hands before stepping back and looking nervous.

Mari-sensei turned his gift over in her hands, studying it carefully. It was a triangular prism, perhaps eight inches long and an inch on a side, of some dark wood that Hazō didn't recognize. On one side there was a silver plate inset in the wood. Sections cut from the plate allowed the wood to show through from below in the form of kanji.

Mari
Gōketsu Clan Mother
Fearless. Caring. Powerful.
Retired

"It's for your desk," Kagome-sensei said. "When you get one. You'll need a desk if you're going to manage the family accounts while Jiraiya-st—while Jiraiya's being Hokage. And when the kids grow up a little more there'll be grandkids, and you'll want a desk for them to climb on and bug you while you're working. And I checked with the Academy and they're always short on female instructors, and they're especially desperate to find people with real experience of deep-cover infiltration, so if you wanted to teach there—"

Mari-sensei burst into tears and flung herself at Kagome, pulling him down into a hug despite his frantic squawking.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'll get you something different! I'm sorry!"

"Shut up," Mari-sensei sobbed, hanging from his neck. "Just shut up and hug me, you wonderful man."

Kagome-sensei was bent over awkwardly, his hands fluttering out to the sides like birds that would really love to take flight before the cat ate them but couldn't quite figure out how. He looked at Jiraiya with an expression that seemed to strike a curious balance between "help, your wife is hugging me!" and "please don't kill me because your wife is hugging me!"

The Toad Sage grinned and waved his hands at Kagome-sensei in a 'well, go on' way, so the former missing-nin patted Mari-sensei gently on the back a few times.

"Um...there, there?"

Mari-sensei's laughter was interrupted by a hiccup; she pushed herself back and wiped her eyes. "Sorry," she said, sniffling a little before offering them all a smile that would have been entirely convincing to anyone else. "Didn't mean to get all weepy on you."

"You, uh...you didn't see the good part?" Kagome-sensei said nervously. "The ends come off." He pointed a finger tentatively towards the wooden prism without moving his hand away from his body.

Mari-sensei poked and pulled for a moment until one end came off in her hand, revealing a four-inch stiletto, slender and elegant with two sharp edges and a wicked point.

"I made sure the endcap is watertight," Kagome said helpfully. "If you want to, you could pour some poison in the sheath. Probably need to refresh it every few weeks, but at least it won't spill. Check the other end, though. That's the important part."

Mari-sensei fiddled a bit more until the other endcap came off. On the underside was a small metal loop, around which was tied a thread. The thread was knotted into a climbing harness worn by a tiny wooden figurine, barely the size of Hazō's fingernail. It was so tiny that it was hard to make out the detail, but the carven hair that billowed out behind it was painted red and the curves of the sides were clearly feminine.

The obviously-Mari-sensei figurine's tiny hands were clasped around a second piece of thread. As the real woman lifted the endcap off her gift, the 'rope' held by her symbolic self pulled five more tiny figurines into view from inside the hidden compartment, each of them clinging to the thread in turn. From the very end of the thread dangled a tiny scrollcase, barely an inch long.

"There's two shaped charges in the scrollcase," Kagome-sensei said helpfully. "Just in case you get thrown in prison or something. I wanted to make more but there's not a lot of room in there and the paper needs to be really thin so it tears really easily but I'm sure these are good. See, you use the threads to tie one around the top and bottom of one of the bars and boom! You're out."

Mari-sensei sniffled a little and wiped the back of her hand across her eyes before carefully replacing the figurines inside their compartment and making sure the endcap was tight. "Thank you, Kagome," she said, stretching up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "This is a wonderful gift. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so glad to have you in my family, and in my life."

Kagome-sensei went bright pink and mumbled something incomprehensible, his eyes locked firmly on his toes.

"Well, now I'm feeling a little inadequate," Noburi said nervously.

"It will be fine, Noburi," Keiko said. "Excuse me." She turned and left the room, returning a moment later with something large and rectangular, wrapped in black silk. "This is from the two of us, sensei." She nodded for Noburi to take over.

"Most people don't realize it," Noburi said, "but medical ninjutsu isn't that old—at least, not in the modern sense. It used to be secret stuff passed down from one master to the next, which is why medic-nin were even less common than today and the average state of the art was so much cruder. It's only about fifty years ago that medical jutsu started getting systematized and the information became widespread." The young med-nin unwrapped the silk to reveal a book bound in fire-red leather, the title picked out in a rich blue ink:

The Footsteps of Lady Senju

"Everyone knows Senju Tsunade as a member of the Sannin," Noburi said. "And everyone knows that she is an amazing medic-nin. What most people don't know is that she trained over sixty medic-nin here in Leaf. That's more than any other teacher has trained, ever. It's hard to find ninja who want to be medics in the first place, and not everyone who wants to has the chakra control and the willingness to study. You can make a very good argument that one of the reasons Leaf is so powerful is because of the quality of their medicine."

"Over the past thirty-five years, Leaf has suffered forty percent fewer plagues than Mist," Keiko said. "I lack reputable data on other nations but I suspect the numbers to be similar. Likewise, the lifespan of civilians in Leaf is at least fifteen percent longer than in Mist, or anywhere else we've been."

"Right," Noburi said. "Now, absolutely everyone in the hospital agrees that Lady Senju is the best medic any of them have ever seen. Every single one of them looks up to her, and most of them became medics because of her."

"She saved thousands of lives in the aftermath of the Nine-Tails attack," Jiraiya said. "She was incredible. She pulled people out from under wreckage that no one else could shift, organized relief efforts and field hospitals, healed people that the triage nurses had categorized as beyond saving...she never stopped moving that entire night. I was exhausted trying to keep up with her." He smiled without thinking, lost in bittersweet memory.

Noburi cleared his throat uncomfortably, jolting the Sannin back to the present. "This book was written by Kon Ai, one of Lady Senju's first students. Kon is now a senior doctor here in Leaf. According to the non-classified records that I was able to see there are at least two thousand people alive today who wouldn't have been if Kon hadn't been there."

"There are seven living members of the Nara clan who owe their lives directly to Lady Senju," Keiko said. "Every single living Nara has benefited in a life-altering way from one of Lady Senju's students, or from one of the students of her students. In some cases it was a wound that would have been lethal. In others it was fixing a broken bone cleanly enough that it did not leave the patient crippled. A difficult birth that did not kill the mother or the child, an illness cured quickly...there are as many stories as there are Nara to tell them."

"This is the story of Lady Senju," Noburi repeated, tapping his finger on the book. "But really, it's the story of her lineage. Kon wrote an account of her own training, and then convinced others to write accounts of being healed, learning to heal, training someone to heal, marrying a healer...each story is unique, and so is the book."

"Speaking of the book," Keiko said. "You know that the Nara invented the printing press. Well, one of Lady Senju's earliest advances was to write a series of medical textbooks and arrange with the Nara clan to circulate them widely."

Jiraiya snorted. "And wasn't that a fun time?" he said with a laugh. "She badgered Hiruzen-sensei for over a year until he finally authorized her to distribute them outside of Fire. 'Plagues do not care about borders!' she shouted, over and over and over. Can't even remember how many times I heard the two of them arguing about it. She paid for the print run herself, and then hired a whole series of C-rank missions to sell the things all throughout the Elemental Nations. She wanted to give them away, but Sensei convinced her that people would pay more attention if they paid more money."

Keiko shifted nervously. "Yes. Ah...well, the technology of the printing press has improved significantly since its development, and today there are many presses of various generations. The very first printing press, the one that was built by Nara Shikamaru's grandfather, is still kept as a historical artifact. Roughly once a year, the Nara clan prints a book on it in order to ensure that the press has been properly maintained." She picked up the book and held it out. "Here is this year's printing. A gift from me and Noburi, with the permission and approval of Nara Shikaku and Nara Yoshino."

Mari-sensei took the book with a smile. "Thank you, kids. This is lovely."

"Oh!" Noburi said. "I'm such an idiot, I almost forgot." He reached into an inside pocket and proffered a folded piece of paper. "Here. Can't read a book unless you have a bookmark, right?"

Mari-sensei opened the paper he'd handed her and read the elegant calligraphy within:

The Footsteps of Lady Gōketsu
by Gōketsu Keiko and Gōketsu Noburi

"It's a promissory note," Noburi explained. "Probably take us a few years to get around to writing it. Bear with us, okay?"

Mari-sensei sniffled again and wiped at her eyes. "You know, I had already got the point," she said, smiling. "You didn't have to be so heavy-handed, boyo." Her teasing tone was a little shaky.

"I have noticed, my love," Jiraiya said, bending down to press a kiss into her hair, "that you can be pretty dense when it comes to hearing good things about yourself. So shut up and say thank you to your very thoughtful students."

"Well, which is it?" Mari-sensei asked, looking up at him with a puzzled expression. "Should I shut up or should I say thank you?"

Jiraiya growled in mock-irritation and bopped her on the nose with one finger. "Say thank you."

She nipped at his finger with sharp teeth, but then turned back to Noburi and Keiko with a serious expression. "Thank you both, kids. This is really thoughtful and yes, it does give me some things to think about. I like the idea, and I'm sure all of you will go on to do great things." She stepped in and hugged Noburi close, nodding gratefully to Keiko over his shoulder.

"Well, as long as we're giving books," Jiraiya said after a moment. "I have one for you." He showed his hand empty, then made a magician's pass and produced a book from nowhere.

It did not stand up well in comparison with The Footsteps of Lady Senju.

Icha Icha Love: Stolen Heart was done on low-quality paper, the cover was a garish orange, and the woodcut image on the front might have been aiming for 'romantic' but it had overshot and was about to crashland just on the near side of 'pornographic'.

Mari-sensei raised an eyebrow. "You're giving me a trashy piece of smut for my birthday?" she asked. "You know that sex that you wanted to have ever again?"

"Now, now, give me a second," said the Fifth Hokage, dropping back onto the futon with a grin. "I take it that you know my Icha Icha series?"

Mari-sensei did not dignify that with a response. She merely crossed her arms over her chest and tapped one toe while pinning her unrepetant husband with a gimlet eye.

"So you know that the hero is Jun, a daring young ninja of startling power, unmatched virility, legendary musical skill, silver-tongued voice—"

"Ahem."

He laughed. "Yes, yes. Anyway, here's the truth behind Icha Icha: it's one of the primary controls for my spy network—a fact, may I add, which I would appreciate being kept quiet. Anyway, each copy contains coded messages to various agents. What page different characters show up on, the specific kanji used for dialogue, various background images...every single page, pretty much, is meaningful to one of my spies. Most of what's in the letters section at the back is actually orders—not all, but most. I do get a lot of fanmail, and I do publish it, but there usually isn't enough space to fit more than a piece or two after I've finished writing all the steganographic bits.

"Intelligence directive or not, it's popular. There are fifty-seven volumes in the Icha Icha series, and most of them go through half a dozen print runs." He laughed. "I actually turn a profit on running my spy ring, and the hilarious part is that I pay my agents, but then they give some of it back buying my books so that they can get their orders." He shrugged. "Anyway, about a third of my sales are to my agents and the rest are to people who genuinely want to read the story. For whatever reason, they love reading about Jun being chased by women, repeatedly getting trapped into almost marrying them, or getting challenged by jilted lovers or cuckolded husbands. Still, one thing people have been begging for ever since volume three is for Jun to actually find Otoha."

Mari-sensei waited but Jiraiya stayed silent, simply grinning at her infuriatingly.

"Who is Otoha?" she ground out.

"Glad you asked!" Jiraiya said. "She's the kitsune spirit that he met back in Icha Icha Purity: Heroic Heart. They had a brief and torrid affair, and then she tricked him into cutting out his own heart and burying it so that it could never be struck in battle, never be captured by an enemy, never distract him from his training and his constant quest for adventure. And then of course she captured it and ran off giggling like a madwoman.

"This," he said, waving the book around. "Is Icha Icha Love: Stolen Heart, the fifty-eighth book in the series. It is two thirds the size of an average Icha Icha novel and it features Jun and Otoha reuniting. Not just reuniting, getting married." He shrugged one shoulder with a disarming grin. "At which point she joins him on his adventures, both martial and marital. Gotta keep the numbers up, after all."

He turned serious again. "More importantly, this is the first and only time that I have ever published an Icha Icha novel which is just a novel. There are no orders to my agents in this one, no hidden maps, no secret images to decode. This is just a novel of two people coming together and making each other happy. I wrote it in three weeks. It went to press yesterday and this is the very first copy." He held it out to her balanced on both palms.

She frowned. "Three weeks? You wrote this since becoming Hokage?"

"Why did you think I was so tired all the time?" he said with a smile.

She swallowed, blinking a couple of times. Then her trademark grin spread back across her face. She took the book from him and tucked it into a pouch, then shifted her weight to stand hipshot, shaking her hair back and running both hands through it. "I'd like to think I had a little something to do with that," she purred, bringing her sunset mane over one shoulder and finger-combing imaginary knots out of it.

Jiraiya laughed, Keiko and Noburi winced, and Hazō began silently reciting the list of interactions between eighth-dimensional tensors and spiral torsion chakra structures with left-handed chirality in a desperate attempt to keep his mind's eye occupied.

"Sooooo," Hazō said desperately, once he'd found that even the most supremely boring seal theory was insufficient defense against the horror of adult flirting. "Speaking of terrible segues, it's my turn to give presents!" He took a storage seal out of his jacket pocket and unsealed a small box, about the size of two hands side-by-side.

Mari-sensei took the box and looked inside; her face promptly lit up in a smile. "Oh, perfume! From the Yamanaka shop, no less!" She tipped the box so the others could see in.

The inside of the box was lined in crushed red velvet. Five small glass vials nestled in custom-fitted slots, one in the very center with three others arranged in an arc to its left and one off to the right. Each vial was the size of a woman's thumb and made of blown glass, but beyond that they bore no similarity. Different colors, different shapes, different textures and patterns; each was unique.

"Not all perfume," Hazō said. He pointed to the blue-green stippled-pattern bottle on the right, "This one here is actually the antidote for a particularly toxic Water Country snake. I forget the name, but I have it written down in my room. This one here"—he traced his finger all the way to the left, skipping over the vial in the center to touch the brown palmate one—"is a painkiller. It's made from the leaves of a swamp plant that only grows in western Fire Country." His finger moved up and slightly to the right, tapping on a rust-red one. "This one here has a lodestone in it so that you can find your way if you get lost." His finger traced down to the bottom-most vial, a light cream color that was shaped like a scroll. "This is actually just a tiny bit of chrysanthemum tea. Yamanaka Yurie—she's Ino's mother?—she helped me pick it out. She said that you'd know what chrysanthemum meant."

Mari-sensei cleared her throat and nodded jerkily, not speaking or looking away from the vials.

Hazō tapped his finger on the black vial in the very center of the box, the stopper sealed with wax. "This one is perfume, like you thought," he said. "It's a perfume that Mrs. Yamanaka made special, just for this present. I watched her fill and seal the vial, and then I watched her spread the rest of the batch on her favorite roses. She burned the recipe in front of me. This is the only bit of this fragrance that exists or will exist, anywhere, ever. It is absolutely unique, and beautiful." He tipped the vial up in its slot so that it was easy to get at. "Try it."

Mari-sensei looked at him sharply, her eyes narrowing at something she heard in his voice. All he did was grin, so she broke the seal on the vial with her fingernails and lifted the top off.

The scent that wafted out was chocolate.

Frowning, Mari-sensei tipped the vial into her hand and laughed when what fell out was a chocolate kunai. "Chocolates and easily concealed blades. You remembered."

"Here's the actual perfume," Hazō said, taking the box back and setting it down so that he could carefully lift out the velvet lining of the box. Underneath was revealed a second layer, this one holding only a single vial: red-and-gold and shaped like a flame. He smiled. "I thought about putting some seals in the space, but that's really more of a Kagome-sensei thing." He pulled the perfume out, replaced the upper lining, and nestled the red-and-gold vial into the empty spot in the center. He ceremoniously closed the lid and held the box out to Mari-sensei.

"Happy birthday, sensei," he said formally.

o-o-o-o

The group had been expected to leave for Mist at "the crack of dawn". In practice, the crack of dawn became more like nine-thirty, with everyone waiting at the gates with varying degrees of patience. It would have been later except that Jiraiya got fed up, vanished into the streets of Leaf, and returned twenty minutes later dragging a white-haired ninja by the collar of his jōnin flak jacket. The man wore a mask across the lower part of his face and his forehead protector slumped down over his left eye, but nonetheless his expression of affront and surprise was clear to read.

Hazō did not need to be introduced in order to recognize Hatake Kakashi, the famous Ninja of the Copy-Wheel Eye, the only person to have received a transplanted Sharingan eye (or any other organ, for that matter) and lived, the only non-Uchiha in the world to possess the Sharingan. (As far as anyone outside Clan Gōketsu knew, anyway. Jiraiya had been very clear that the Kurosawa family's occasional birth of Sharingan users was a state secret.) No, he did not need an introduction. Hatake was internationally famous for being possibly the most powerful ninja alive who wasn't a Kage. Supposedly he was a master of every ninja art...well, except the art of making a good first impression. Still, late or not, lazy or not, Hatake made no trouble about keeping up on the run. Hazō avoided him because (a) he already had one living legend in his life and didn't want to complicate things further and (b) somehow, he got a real 'likes to mess with heads' vibe off the guy, and Hazō really didn't need that right now.

The peace of the road was relaxing, and he wanted to enjoy it. There was no intense training to do, no seals to write, no need to worry about politics or anything else. For two days, everything was simple: run during the day, sleep at night. It gave Hazō the time to process everything that had happened recently and to brace himself for the challenges ahead. Seeing his mother again, navigating the dangerous waters of Mist-meets-Leaf politics...winning the Exams. For that matter, surviving the Exams. He had no illusions that the team's survival was guaranteed. It would be too easy for Mist to false-flag an assassination attempt, or assign one of their candidates to play a little too rough, then apologize profusely for the incompetence of their genin and pay a fine while laughing up their sleeves. Maybe the orders wouldn't even be to kill, only to cripple. Mist was known for its ruthlessness, after all, and right now they had to be feeling backed into a corner. Desperate people did desperate things, and he could imagine the new Mizukage—whoever that was—thinking that it might be worth the risk to provoke Leaf into violent action where the other villages would be obligated to stop them. A very high-risk proposition, but Jiraiya admitted that it wasn't impossible.

Of course, the two and a half days they spent on the road were not all wasted on heavy thoughts about politics and death. No, mostly he avoided that and basked in the no-mind of running during the day, and the joy of spending unstructured time with Akane in the evenings. Jiraiya seemed selectively blind to their time together; he had no problem with Akane sharing Gōketsu family dinner, or with a little kissing and hand-holding, but anytime Hazō tried to arrange some alone time with Akane so they could talk in private...well, suddenly there were chores to do, or his Clan Leader had some questions about details of the Kurosawa clan, or some other minor task that urgently needed to be done. It was frustrating, and probably more so because Akane just laughed and took it in good humor.

Still, time marches on and all frustrations fade when new challenges push them aside. The group's arrival in Mist definitely met the standards for 'new challenges'.

Jiraiya had had them stop just outside the city limits, wash, and change into clean field uniforms. He had even, with great reluctance, put on the Hokage's hat. It wasn't the burned and battered hat that Jiraiya had thrown on the table the night the Gōketsu clan was formed. That hat was in a shadow box hung in a place of honor on the wall of the Hokage's office, directly in Jiraiya's line of sight when he sat at the desk. No, this hat was new, clean, and elegant.

When the Leaf contingent arrived at the gates of the Village Hidden in the Mist, they did so in formation. Jiraiya marched at the head, striding as confidently as the hero of his novels. To his left was Hatake Kakashi who, for this one moment, had exchanged his usual lazy saunter for a predatory stalk that would have done honor to a direcat. To Jiraiya's right strode Hatake's eternal rival: Maito Gai, Leaf's supreme taijutsu master and apparently the progenitor of the YOUTH! movement to which Lee and Akane kept trying to recruit Hazō. The man was practically a cube of muscle, and his normally-smiling face was now drawn into a serious expression that, without being at all threatening, still suggested the possibility of truly shattering amounts of violence that could be unleashed were anything untoward to happen.

Behind the three legends came a wedge of ANBU, six to a side, with Team Uplift and the other genin in the center like ducklings sheltering under their mother's wings. The jōnin-sensei and their comrades closed up the back of the wedge.

The guards at the gate of the Village Hidden in the Mist passed them in with all haste, practically scrambling to bow them through and get them on their way. Three nervous-looking Mist ANBU were waiting just inside to lead the Leaf contingent directly to Mizukage Tower in the center of the city.

Hazō found that it was a strange and uncomfortable sensation to once again walk the streets of his home city, the more so because the route they traveled had been cleared of civilians. It was like walking through a city of ghosts, and it echoed with memories both sweet and bitter. The fact that they came within two blocks of his mother's house without ever laying eyes on it was among the most bitter.

When they reached the Tower, Jiraiya stopped and turned to the rest of the group. "Time for me to go find out who they managed to scrape up for a Mizukage after they lost the last one," he said, ignoring the three Mist ANBU who were standing a few feet away. "These lovely fellows will lead you to your quarters for the exams. Get settled in, take a look around the city. The Exam peace is in place, so don't kill anyone or cause trouble. Leave the booze in the bottle but feel free to explore as long as you stay in pairs or more—gotta make sure you've got a witness who can corroborate your side of things if any of the other villages' people want to make trouble. The ceremonies start tonight, so be in the barracks an hour before sunset. Any questions?" He looked around the group, then nodded. "Okay, dismissed."

Without another word he turned and vanished into the Tower, one of the Mist ANBU leading the way and his honor guard of two ANBU, Hatake, and Gai following close on his heels. Hazō watched him go with decidedly mixed emotions.

XP AWARD: 18

This update covered 7 days. Note commentary on the plan in earlier post.

You have arrived at the barracks, which just so happens to be a dormitory at the Mist Academy of the Ninja Arts, the very prestigous school from which you graduated less than two years ago. The place seems smaller than you remember.

It was suggested that the QMs should go back to providing specific prompts for decisions that the hivemind needs to make, so:

You have four hours until curfew. You must stay in pairs or larger groups. You can seek out your mother, or Keiko or Noburi's families, you can visit Academy teachers with whom you were friendly, you can explore the city with or without other Leaf genin...the village is your oyster. What do you do and with whom do you do it?
The clan has received its five pangolin jutsu. There's still some debate among the QMs about what they're going to be, but specific proposals from the hivemind will carry significant weight, especially if they come with mechanics attached. Many of the ones that have been proposed look good and are really just waiting for @Velorien's computer to start working again so we can get them consensed. You should vote on what you want and why.

Voting ends on Wednesday, September 6, 2017, at 12pm London time.

Things that happened offscreen:

When you left Leaf, Mari-sensei came to see you off. Akane took her aside and gave her something the size of a shoebox. You weren't able to see what was in it, but Mari-sensei looked in, her eyes got very wide, and then she started giggling madly. You have done your level best to not think about this in the subsequent days.
You learned the pangolin training jutsu. (Costs 25 XP, requires that both STR and STA be at least 6.) You have received training XP along with regular XP this update.
Keiko has bonded three pangolins (we'll get you details) and is saving the other two contracts until she knows more about what will be happening in the Exams.
You experimented with making misterators that also block LOS. It didn't work too well; adding a lot of dust just causes the water to precipitate out faster. You gave up on it in favor of more likely-to-succeed opportunities after a day or so.
Between the two of them, Hazō and Kagome-sensei managed to make snow goggles for the entire team, as well as a pair each for Jiraiya, Mari-sensei, and Akane. Hazō then pointed out that Akane would probably want her teammates to have them as well, so Kagome-sensei grumpily helped him make two more.
Noburi has two spare barrels stashed with the pangolins (there was already one there and he made another).
You've practiced with sound-canceling earmuffs and various other things.

OliWhail · Sep 7, 2017

Chapter 156.1: Boys and Blunders

Hazou's eyes were naturally drawn up to his old room in the barracks. A mental picture the spartan accommodations came easily to mind ("IT BUILDS CHARACTER, YOU UNGRATEFUL MAGGOTS," he recalled hearing far too many times) and he idly hoped they would have been spruced up somewhat for the Exams.

The crowd of Leaf nin -- more than a dozen teams in all, and Hazou had never even seen the ones outside the 'rookie squad' before the group took off from Leaf -- marched in through the main doors to be greeted by a demure brown-haired woman in a sash with the kanji for each of the major elemental nations.

"Welcome, honored guests," she said, bowing formally. "Your rooms are at the far end of the hall to your left, one floor up. There is one room set aside per team, but you are of course free to establish whatever sleeping arrangements you wish."

Hazou managed to stop himself from glancing over at Akane. Barely. Instead he simply marched over to the stairwell.

...

Team Gōketsu was in the middle of thoroughly sweeping their chosen room for seals and Kozo body-bits when Hazou got a much better idea and paused. "Noburi, would you be willing to go ask one of the Hyuuga if they'd be willing to check all the rooms?"

"Hm. Good call," Noburi agreed, heading to the door.

"AAAAH!" he shouted not five seconds later.

Hazou and Keiko were through the door before either of them even realized it, kunai drawn, directional explosives pointed opposite directions down the hallway. Hazou happened to be facing away from where Noburi had walked, and so heard rather than saw Noburi fall to the ground, his forehead protector actually doing its job for once as it slammed against the polished wooden floor.

"P-please accept my apologies, Lady Hyuuga!" Noburi stammered.

Hazou blinked, and then slowly lowered his stance and turned to look at his friend. And now brother, actually, he mused. Noburi was on his knees in front of a half-open door, the visible part of his face rapidly approaching potentially dangerous levels of blushing.

"Oh, ah, sorry, give me just one second!" came Hinata's voice from inside the room. A couple of seconds later she opened the door all the way, wrapped in a towel that looked so luxurious that Hazou could feel his wallet getting lighter just looking at it. "Is everything alright, Gōketsu?"

Noburi sat up slightly, still looking at the floor. "I'm really sorry, Hyuuga, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. Kiba and Shino didn't mention you'd be changing, it didn't occur to me to knock."

She waved away his apology. "Ah, please don't worry about it! The Byakugan means we Hyuuga tend to... care less about privacy, for various reasons."

As Hazou digested the implications of that statement and resolved to move mobile versions of the privacy seals as far up on the research queue as possible, Hinata looked over the still-armed ninja in the hallway and asked, "Did you need something from me in particular, or...?"

"We, uh, we were hoping you would be willing to help us sweep for seals around the barracks. And also eyeballs and ears, there's a Mist clan, Kozo, that can detach parts of themselves and they like to use that ability for spying," Noburi explained, finally starting to stand up and looking absolutely anywhere except the girl in front of him.

"Oh, yes, of course," Hinata nodded. "My cousin and I did a sweep as soon as we all arrived, and neither of us spotted any seals, but there was a young man up on the roof who had suspended an eyeball with his own chakra in it on a piece of twine. He was moving it around between windows, so we figured it was some kind of scouting technique." Her expression darkened. "I had Kiba grab it when it got to our room, he and Shino are off to see if they can find anything fun to do with it. Kozo, huh? Good to know."

Hazou didn't bother to suppress his shudder.

"Anyway," Hinata continued, suddenly brightening again. "I was off to take a quick real bath instead of the field wash we had earlier, and I just realized I need someone to pair up with to follow the Hokage's order about staying in pairs. Would you be willing to go with me, Gōketsu?" she asked, looking at Keiko.

"I--wha, HUH?" Noburi blurted out, his head snapping toward Hinata, who looked at him silently for a second, looked briefly at Keiko, and then looked back at Noburi, before starting to laugh.

"Sorry! I don't mean to make fun of you, I suppose that was bound to get awfully confusing," she said, still giggling. "I know we haven't known each other long, but would it be alright if we used each other's first names, at least when you're all together like this? Just to make things simpler."

Noburi nodded mutely, as did Hazou. Keiko hesitated, and Hinata immediately threw up both hands toward her. "Ah, please don't worry about it if you're uncomfortable with it! And anyway, if the boys are okay with first names, then it'll be clear who I mean when I say Gōketsu, so it's fine!"

The aforementioned boys had immediately found very interesting things to investigate up on the ceiling. Keiko looked down at the towel Hinata had dropped in her gesticulating, and raised an eyebrow. "I'll go get changed as well, I suppose," she said simply.

...

After the girls had gone off, Hazou and Noburi walked over the room Akane's team had settled into. As Hazou was raising his hand to knock, the murmur of conversation within exploded into a heated exchange.

"HOW many explosives?" one female voice exclaimed. Not Akane, so Hazou presumed it was Haruno.

"Only a few hundred," he heard Akane reply

"Are you SHITTING me?" Haruno asked, clearly incensed. Hazou and Noburi looked at each other, concerned.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I hope it'll be enough."

"You- wh- huh?!"

"I mean, as long as we budget them, it should be fine, right? And we'll have the month-long break to get more, once we get past the early part of the Exams!"

"Your whole team is insane," groaned Haruno. "What else have you got?"

"Well, this one is something the Lord Hokage referred to as a 'Banshee Fucker', an upgraded version of the earbusters. He was apparently very insistent that it be used as far away as possible from anyone whose lungs we didn't want turned into jelly."

There were a few moments of silence. Noburi and Hazou leaned into the door.

"What?" Akane asked.

"You're a seduction specialist. That's the only explanation. Gōketsu Mari must have trained you."

"WHAT???" Akane practically shrieked, mirroring Hazou's thoughts exactly.

"Why else would the Hokage's son be throwing this much money at you? He's trying to impress you, to get you into his bed!"

"H- Hazō would never do that! He just wants me to be safe! And he wants my teammates, including you, to be successful, so you could maybe at least show a little gratitude! And besides, this isn't really that mu--"

"SAGE'S BALLSACK, WOMAN, this stack of paper includes more explosives than I've ever seen and specialized seals drawn by the legendary sealmaster Jiraiya of the Three, who also happens to be HOKAGE! Do you know how many YEARS of a normal ninja's income--"

The door was unceremoniously yanked open, and the eavesdroppers very nearly collided with the silent third member of Akane's team, Haru Yamamoto. "Hi guys," he said flatly.

"Eh? Oh, Hazou! What's up?" Akane asked, not missing a beat.

"Uh, well, um, we were coming by to see if you guys would like to come with us on a tour of the city, and then we heard you guys arguing, and… um…." Hazou stuttered.

"And then you spied on us," Haruno concluded, arching one eyebrow.

"Ninja," Noburi said, shrugging nonchalantly. "Do you wanna come or not?"

Noburi and Keiko nixed using silence mines for convenience in the rooms, but each of the three Rookie teams that didn't already have them (Asuma, Kurenai, and Gai) now has a pair of Air Dome and Earth Dome seals in case anything requiring them happens tonight, which will be returned to you in the morning if they aren't needed.

Hey all! These first couple scenes just sort of… insisted on being written, so here's the first installment of the chapter. XP rewards and such will happen after the whole thing is up.

OliWhail · Sep 7, 2017

Chapter 156.2: Commencement

By the time Shino and Kiba had returned -- without the eyeball, which everyone conspicuously avoided inquiring about -- the older squads had all set out to explore Mist or had declined in favor of rest, and so the Rookie 15 set out from the barracks on their own. That is, if you ignored the pair of masked Mist nin conspicuously trailing them.

Since it was closest, the group took a casual stroll past the Mist Ninja Academy first. The target-practice logs and sparring fields were much as Hazou remembered them. As Noburi was regaling everyone with the story of being made to sleep on top of the upright logs during Hell Week, Hazou felt Akane slip her hand into his. He leaned his head over against hers, silently.

There were… a lot of memories attached to this place. So much time and effort put into making Momma proud, into making himself strong enough that he could help protect her and make her happy. So many days of shit-list duty for questioning instructors, for doing things in ways that were just better even when he was told not to, or for beating someone's favored student in a spar. If it weren't for this place, Momma and Poppa would never have become ninja and met and fallen in love and had him. Did that make it worth all the suffering it had caused to its students, and that its students had caused in the world? But ninja also gave humanity the ability to push back against the wilderness, so how did that weigh against--

Akane squeezed his hand, drawing him back to the present. The group was moving on. He smiled at her gratefully and squeezed back.

…

The market street was, sadly, a lot less lively than he remembered. Many of the stalls were vacant at the moment, though most of those appeared to be closed for the day rather than shut down entirely.

Fortunately, old man Amatetsu's Thousand-Yam Furnace was roaring, and Hazou led the group over. One of the ANBU stepping through the curtain across the doorway first, followed by a squawk of surprise from inside, and then pulled back the curtain across the door.

"Evening!" Hazou called to the walrus-looking man behind the counter as he stepped over the threshold.

"Er, hello, honored ninja sir! Sirs! Sirs and ma'ams!" the elderly man replied, looking frantically between Hazou, the silent ANBU who had taken up residence in one corner, and the increasingly large crowd of ninja piling into his shop. "I'm afraid I don't have any dissidents to report," he continued, "as the folks who patronize my shop have universally been citizens in good standing and supportive of the new Mizukage. 'Specially me myself. Not that I'd imply I ever disagreed with the policies of the Fourth, may his spirit float on warm currents forever, where they might happen to have been different from those of the Fifth. No sirs, certainly not old Amatetsu. He's as loyal as they come."

After a couple uncomfortable seconds filled with many confused glances between the Leaf ninja, he asked, "Could I offer you folks some baked yams on this cold evening?"

"Yes, thank you, that would be excellent," Hazou said in relief, and plopped down on a stool. "That's all we were here for."

"Oh! Oh, well, of course!" Amatetsu responded, equally relieved, as he turned around to start pulling yams from the oven.

Ino sat down on the other side of Hazou from Akane. "What exactly just happened?" she asked incredulously.

Hazou shrugged. "Amatetsu's is popular, people come here all the time to hang out and talk. I guess sometimes ninja come in asking if he's heard anything T&I would care about."

She still looked confused. "That all makes sense, sure, but why was he so afraid?"

"He was probably just worried someone might have falsely reported him," Noburi answered smoothly from Ino's other side. "Happens sometimes, and sometimes takes a while to get cleared up. Mist doesn't have your clan's… gentler methods."

As Ino's expression slipped from confusion to concern, Amatetsu turned around with two trays heaped with steaming, perfectly baked yam-sticks, with divots all around the edges for sauces. "Here you all are!" he said, laying them down. "Oh, there are even more of you now! Goodness me, I'll get another tray going." He paused just as he began to turn back around, and very slowly brought his face uncomfortably close to Hazou's.

"My eyes ain't what they used to be," he said incredulously, "but is that a Leaf headband???"

"Chuunin Exams, gramps," one of the ANBU explained. Several of the genin jumped upon hearing the masked man's graveley voice for the first time.

Amatetsu stood up rapidly and smacked a hand to his forehead. "Chuunin Exams! I knew I was forgetting somethin'! Well, let me get that other tray out for you -- eat up, the bill's on your Kage after all!"

…

Once they'd manage to drag Chouji away from a budding argument with Amatetsu about whether mint sauce or garlic was the superior yam condiment, Keiko took a turn leading the group around some of the clan compounds that were close enough as to not require too much running. Houzuki, Yuki, Terumi, Kurosawa… Hazou looked at his mother's childhood home with disdain, resolving to make sure the clan elders that had caused his family so much strife would soon learn exactly how much they'd lost when they had chosen to try and look respectable over choosing to support their own blood.

The path leading back to the barracks -- it had been decided not to try snooping on the Mizukage Tower -- "happened" to pass by the house Hazou had grown up in. He'd been reluctant to go near it, in case it gave Mist an incentive to threaten his mom or otherwise mess with her, or in case he found out she was dead and his performance was compromised, or any of half a dozen reasons, but Noburi had shushed him as soon as he'd started listing them and insisted that at least going by the place was necessary.

And so Hazou found himself knocking on the door, not knowing who, if anyone would answer.

"Ello?" a small voice answered from inside. It sounded like a young girl's.

"Uh, hi," Hazou said confusedly to the still-closed door. "I'm looking for Kurosawa Hana?"

"Hmmm nope, bye!" the small voice replied.

"Emiko? Who is it?" a more muffled woman's voice asked.

"Dunno!" Emiko answered happily. "Gone now!"

Hazou knocked again, somewhat more insistently. He could feel the stares of the group out on the street behind him.

This time the door opened, to reveal a fairly young woman with a toddler clinging to one leg. "Can I help you?" she asked guardedly, eyes darting to the large group out on the street.

"I'm looking for Kurosawa Hana", Hazou said again. "She and I used to live here?"

The woman's eyes widened, glancing quickly at his forehead protector. "Oh gosh, you're her son, aren't you?" she asked. Hazou nodded, and she continued. "We bought this house from her more than a year ago. At the time, she was staying with an old friend of hers, but she never gave us an address, and I'm afraid we haven't been in contact since."

"I… see," Hazou responded, deflating somewhat. "Thank you, I'll ask elsewhere then. I hope you and your daughter have a nice evening."

"You as well," she answered, closing the door.

-o-

"Okay, so, what did we learn?" Hazou asked the group.

The whole of the Rookie 15 was spread around the various surfaces of Team Gai's room, chosen because the Hidden Rock team in the room above them hadn't yet returned. Neji and Hinata had wordlessly taken up the job of periodically activating their eyes to check for snooping.

Shino spoke up. "My allies found the lecture rooms at the Academy to be empty but clean. I feel this means we can neither rule out nor in a written exercise."

"In contrast," said Noburi, "the lack of modifications to the Academy training grounds makes it unlikely there will be simple skill tests, though that wasn't super likely to begin with."

"Any luck looking for documents?" Hazou asked, directing the question at the Hyuuga pair, who shook their heads. "Hm. Troublesome."

Shikamaru grunted in a deeply offended tone from his splayed-out position on Noburi's bed, which he had staked out immediately upon entering the room since it was close to the door and required fewer steps to reach.

"Surely the specifics do not matter that much?" Lee practically shouted. "We can prepare for everything, and be ready for it all! We are ninja of Hidden Leaf! The fires of our Youth will carry--"

The simultaneous glares and hushes from almost everyone at the mention of Youth halted his pep talk.

"I'm going to have to agree with him, however reluctantly," said Ino. "Let's talk through some generalities, since we lack specifics. Would one of you be willing to tell us more about the Mist clans, Gouketsu?"

-o-

As sunset approached, the Leaf genin all assembled in front of the barracks, standing slightly separate from smaller groups from Sand, Rock, Cloud, and some of the Minors. Before the tension could rise too much, however, a quintet of ANBU appeared, and gestured that the groups should follow.

The procession moved through Mist's main streets, lit by strings of lanterns and laden with an the evening fog that worked together to suffuse the whole journey with a warm glow, undercut somewhat by a persistent breeze.

Eventually the group arrived at the base of the Mizukage tower. The heads of each of the delegations were waiting there on raised stages, banners with the kanji of their homelands raised over each of them. The genin were directed to stand in formation in front of their leaders, facing the tower. A group of Mist genin stood at the base of the tower, lined by chuunin and jounin.

Everyone held their places for a moment, and then a door on the second floor of the tower opened up smoothly and silently. A hulking man in a white robe, with blue skin and brilliant, sharp teeth in strode out onto the balcony. "Welcome!" he boomed, in a voice somewhere between an enthusiastic party host and an over-enthusiastic drill sergeant. "I hope your travels to our beautiful village were pleasant! I, Hoshigaki Jiro, am most pleased to accept the candidates of the Thirty-First International Chuunin Exams! The Village Hidden in the Mist opens its arms to you all, in the hope that will one day be recognized as the beginning of a new era of peace, prosperity, and cooperation between nations, unmarred by the darkness of past animosities! Without further ado, allow me to introduce the leader of our beloved village!"

A figure in a similar robe, but wearing the blue hat of the Mizukage's office stepped gracefully out from behind the fish-man with a grace that Hazou found disturbingly familiar. A deep blue sash constraining the robe around the waist allowed the figure's feminine curves to show through. She stepped up on a raised platform at the front of the balcony to survey the assembled force of ninja and spread her arms wide.

"Honored guests of all nations, the Village Hidden in the Mists thanks you for joining us. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Fifth Mizukage, Kurosawa Ren," she stated, her words colliding with Hazou's thoughts like falling boulders. "Let the games begin!"

XP Award: 2

...which is actually quite good, for an update that only covered ~5 hours. The plan was solid, and included what I thought was a pretty clever use of plausible deniability for your sensor friends to do their thing.

You guys explained some of the specifics of Mist training and ninja philosophy to the rest of the Rookies during your downtime.

We'll be trying to make an announcement post in the very near future clarifying which jutsu you received, what Pangolins Keiko contracted, and what the first Exam event will be so that you guys can get planning.

Technically voting is open and closes at 9am New York time on Saturday, though.

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest (STORY ONLY)

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