Remove ads

Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest (STORY ONLY)

Reader mode
Remove ads
Chapter 116.1: Time to Leaf
  • Threadmarks

    • After Keiko finished talking, Hazō hesitated, thinking carefully. "Keiko...with respect, I'm not sure we can do this mission," he said. "There's just too many unknowns. How strong is the Condor summoner? Jiraiya said that all the summoners are 'near the top of the ninja game'; we couldn't hope to take on someone as strong as he is. Who is it that's selling the Capybara contract, and how strong are they? Why are they selling it instead of using it themselves? How many of them are there?"

    "We can answer most of that with some simple scouting," Noburi said. The words were supportive but the tone was dubious.

    "Okay," Hazō said. "Let's say we go there and scout the place. Condors can fly, so skywalkers don't give us the sort of benefit that they would against most ninja. They can come up and get us." He turned to Keiko. "It sounds like there's two parts to this mission: Stop the Condors from getting the Capybara contract, and retrieve the Capybara contract for the Pangolins. Would it count as mission fail if we only did the first part?"

    She paused. "I believe accomplishing only the first objective would be minimally satisfactory, in the sense that I would be verbally chastened but not suffer consequences," she said reluctantly. "Obviously, they would strongly prefer that we achieve both objectives. This is my first significant mission for the Pangolin clan and I find myself with a strong desire to succeed. I expect that a complete success would open many doors for us with the Pangolins. Access to more and better jutsu, stronger summons, physical resources, and so on."

    "Pandā, what do you think of that?" Mari-sensei asked.

    "I agree with Keiko," the young Pangolin said, drumming his claws on his underbelly nervously. "But I'm not an officer, so I could be wrong. Still, the Pangolin Clan is the most powerful on the Seventh Path. You could get some great stuff from us. Way better than you're likely to get here on the Human Path."

    The team exchanged dubious looks.

    "I think we need to prioritize our own survival," Hazō said. "We definitely can't fight these people on the ground, and I'd even be worried about trying to scout them at ground level. I see two options. We walk in from really high up and drop bombs on them, or we go to Leaf, dump the whole thing in Jiraiya's lap, and let him do it. With all the resources of a Village behind him, he wouldn't have any trouble."

    "That would mean that Leaf would get the Capybara contract," Kagome-sensei said. "You want to give the contract for a bunch of infiltration experts to those stinkers? They'd be sneaking around putting lupchanz in the ears of all the other Villages in no time." He sniffed disgustedly. "Besides, the aerial bombing idea wouldn't work. Can't get enough accuracy." The mournful look on his face bespoke dozens of hours of gleeful yet frustrating practice.

    "Yeah...about that," Hazō said.

    The entire team groaned.

    "What did you do, Hazō?" Mari-sensei asked.

    "Nothing! Well, I mean, I had an idea. But I haven't tested it or anything...."

    "An idea?" Kagome-sensei asked, excited. "What kind of idea? Is it big?"

    "Um...probably," Hazō said. "I was thinking about your stupid boxes, sensei. I think if we combined them with the macerators we could scale them up a lot. And I think I know how to make them a lot safer."

    "Yeah?" Kagome-sensei asked, rolling one hand in a 'go on' gesture.

    "Well, say we make a box and put a bunch of granite in the bottom so it doesn't burn through. Then we pile in as much wood as the seal will hold, and set it all on fire. When it's burning really well, we seal it into a macerator that's set to grind things very small and eject them at top speed. When it gets unsealed it'll be a wall of fire going really fast."

    Keiko raised an eyebrow, immediately followed by a hand.

    Hazō smothered a sigh. Something embarrassing was coming, he just knew it. "Yes, Keiko?"

    "Why is the box necessary?" Keiko asked. "Couldn't you just get a big log, light part of it on fire, and seal it by having the non-burning part touch the seal?"

    "Madness!" Kagome scoffed. "You can't do that! That would...uh...that would.... No, wait, that would totally work."

    "Right," Hazō said, struggling not to blush. "Sure. Let's do it that way."

    Kagome's eyes were huge and dewy as he considered. "Giant wall of fire.... Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. We'll have to use soft wood, though. The macerators can't grind up the hard stuff." He frowned. "Pity. Lot less heat. Probably only scorch the stinkers a little."

    "A 'giant wall of fire' will only scorch them a little?" Mari-sensei said, one eyebrow arched. "What did you want it to do?"

    Kagome-sensei turned a feverish gaze upon her. "Fwoosh!" he mouthed, fingertips coming together and then exploding outwards. "Ashes." He swiveled back to Hazō. "Come on, we need to go try this!" He reached to grab Hazō's arm, clearly determined to immediately drag his apprentice off for some thermobaric fun. Hazō twisted aside.

    "Hang on, sensei," he said. "We still need to figure out our next move."

    "But, but...explosions! Giant, fiery explosions!"

    Hazō patted the older ninja's hand, feeling a certain sense of unreality as he did. "Just a sec. Okay, Mari-sensei, what do you think we should do? Go after the scroll directly, or go to Leaf?"

    Mari-sensei thought about it. "Keiko, if the Condor summoner died, would their Condors be banished back to the Summon Realm?"

    "Yes," said the Pangolin summoner. "Summoning works by creating a series of aetheric connections between summoner and summoned. The connection is what lets a summon stay in the Human Path. If the stabilizing end of the connection—that is, the summoner's end—were broken then the connection would snap and the summon would be sent back."

    "Okay," said the jōnin, "so if we managed to skywalk in without being spotted and take out the summoner with some really big bombs then we wouldn't have to worry about the Condors." She nodded thoughtfully, then turned to Hazō. "How big are these new toys you're talking about?"

    Hazō shrugged helplessly. "Not really sure. I'd need to test them."

    "How long will it take to figure it out?"

    "Not long, I think," he said. "We'll need some time to set up on the testing range and we'll want to run a few trials. Kagome-sensei, what do you think—couple hours?"

    "Sure," the explosives expert said, jittering from foot to foot. "Sounds right. You know, if we actually start at some point."

    "Right," Hazō said. "Let's do this."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Heee heee heee! Againagainagain!"

    Hazō carefully closed his mouth on the words 'there is something wrong with you, sensei'. He resolved to stand a little...no, a lot...farther back this time. Instead of a 'wall of fire' they'd gotten more of a 'rapidly expanding fiery doom-ball'; the heat from the blast had left him lightly parbroiled even from behind the safety bunker.

    o-o-o-o​

    "Huh," said Mari-sensei, eyeing the swath of blackened testing ground. "Okay, how fast can you make those?"

    "About this fast," Kagome-sensei said, holding up a double fistful of seals and a manic grin. "Need to get some more wood, though. And draw a few more seals. Maybe do some more tests. Yeah. Anyway, need a little longer to make enough."

    "Uh-huh," said Mari-sensei, clearly thinking about what sort of numbers Kagome-sensei typically considered 'enough' when it came to things that went bang. "Let's go with what we've got for now. Come on, we need to talk to the others."

    o-o-o-o​

    Thanks to Kagome-sensei's disturbingly enthusiastic response to the massive fiery doom-balls, the testing had taken most of the day so the conversation took place over a firelit dinner. Pandā was notably absent for this part of the discussion.

    "It looks like maybe it's feasible to grab the blue ribbon," Mari-sensei said carefully, between bites of her pseudo-rabbit kebabs. "There's a lot more uncertainty than I like. If we don't get the summoner on the first pass then we're going to be swarmed by Condors, one of whom will probably be carrying an S-rank ninja."

    "There's another factor," Noburi said. "This exchange is happening at the Hinago Medical Facility. How is it going to look if we blow up a hospital? We caused an international incident when we destroyed part of one building in a resort complex."

    "That...is an entirely valid point," Mari-sensei said, biting her lip. "Yeah, that tips it for me. Keiko, I'm sorry, but I cannot countenance this mission. We should speed up our schedule on applying to Leaf for citizenship."

    "Still a stupid idea," Kagome-sensei mumbled into the salad he was busy eating with his fingers. "Lupchanz. Ten minutes. Tops."

    Mari sighed. "Kagome, I understand how much you dislike the idea, but it seems like the least-bad of a bunch of bad options. If we try to do the mission and fail, we're all dead. If we try to do the mission and succeed then we'll have demolished a hospital and confirmed ourselves as international terrorists, which means a lot of hunter-nin on our tail. If we don't do the mission then Keiko is in trouble with the Pangolins."

    "Could just leave," Kagome-sensei mumbled truculently. "Ignore the stinking critters. Not like hunters are going to find us if we just keep heading east. Or west. Even south. Not north, though. Snow sucked. Yeah, probably south."

    Mari-sensei pondered that for several long seconds, jolting out of her thoughts only when Keiko shot her a reproachful look. "Yeah, we couldn't ask Keiko to give up on the Pangolins," she said. "I mean...unless you wanted to, Keiko? Don't get me wrong, Pandā is adorable and a great kid, but the Pangolins haven't actually been that useful to us so far. Pankurashun taught Akane a training jutsu, that snotty one taught you a stronger but limited version of Zephyr's Reach, Panchipāma killed a ninja for us, and Panjandrum dug our base in fucking Snow. Balancing that is the fact that they've been consistently rude and distrustful to you, seriously underpaid you for the skytowers, and are now asking us to go on a mission that is way out of our league. Are you sure you want to stick with them?"

    "Yes," Keiko said firmly. "Nothing worthwhile is won without effort. That training jutsu that Senior Combat Instructor Pankurashun taught to Akane allowed her to effortlessly dispatch one of Arikada's zombies. Panjandrum's digging abilities mean that we can have a secure base anywhere in a matter of hours, as well as being very helpful for Kagome and Hazō's sealing research facilities. The Pangolin's Reach technique has the potential to be extremely powerful and effective given enough practice. It's not surprising that they are a bit standoffish for now, as I am still proving myself to them."

    "Okay," said Mari-sensei, holding up both hands placatingly. "I still don't think we can do the mission directly. Let's head to Leaf, notify Jiraiya of this whole mess, and go from there. Maybe we can do the mission with Leaf backup, if they're willing to let us out. I wouldn't count on it, though—my expectation is that they'll hide us away and send their own team."

    Keiko looked sour. "Yes, sensei."

    Mari-sensei spared her a regretful glance before taking a breath and visibly gathering herself. "Okay, I guess that means we go to Leaf. Kagome, I know you don't like the idea, but I honestly believe it's our best chance. We're going to end up dead if the Pangolins keep sending us on missions this far out of our weight class, so we'll all have to—" She paused as a thought obviously struck her, and continued in a nervous tone. "I mean, I guess you don't actually have to. Am I asking too much?"

    "Huh?" Kagome grunted, a piece of half-chewed cress hanging out of his mouth. "T' muf?" He paused to swallow. "Too much how?"

    "Asking you to go to Leaf," Mari-sensei said. "I know it's really pushing it, and I'll understand if you feel like you can't go with us." She sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't think this through very well and I'm improvising as badly as I usually do. I honestly think that we need to go to Leaf and stay there, or the Pangolins are going to keep sending us on impossible missions until we're dead. It's not fair to drag you along though—I know how you feel about the place after what happened." She swallowed, eyes flicking into memory for just a moment. A barely-visible shudder went across her shoulders and then she clearly forced herself to smile bravely. "Anyway. I won't make you come. To be honest, I don't want to go myself. I just...." She trailed off, biting her lip. After a moment she looked away, her hair falling into her face as she did. "I just don't see a better way." Her voice wobbled on the last word.

    Kagome started to reach out, then pulled his hand back, then reached out, then pulled his hand back, before finally patting her very carefully on the arm. "There, there," he said uncomfortably. "Of course I'm not going anywhere. Can't let you guys alone where the stinkers can lupchanz you, or cut you open to see how your insides squelch, or kill you and bring you back as obedient zombie slaves, or—"

    Hazō cleared his throat and Kagome guiltily stopped ticking possibilities off on his fingers.

    "Really?" Mari-sensei said, looking up at him through her hair. "You'll come with us?"

    The sealmaster nodded convulsively. "Uh-huh."

    She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, my friend. I don't know what we'd do without you to watch out for us."

    Kagome swelled up in pride.

    Mari-sensei shifted seats so that she was sitting beside Kagome-sensei. She looped an arm around his elbow and leaned her head on his bicep. "Okay," she said, oblivious to the frozen statue that had moments earlier been a forty-ish man. "We want to end up in Leaf and safe. How do we do that?"

    The entire team turned expectantly to Hazō.

    The genin sighed in irritation. "Well...getting there isn't a problem with the skywalkers."

    "They probably have skytowers up," Noburi pointed out. "They'll see us if we just try to 'walk too close to the village proper."

    Hazō shrugged. "Fair point. Still, we can get across the borders safely and we aren't likely to be attacked on the way—"

    "Sky squid," Kagome-sensei mumbled without moving a single muscle aside from his tongue.

    Hazō rolled his eyes. "We aren't likely to get attacked on the way. Nothing is ever completely safe. Still, we should be able to bypass the borders and all the patrols, so we won't face any ninja threats. We'll stay well away from the clouds so that our skywalker seals don't take water damage again. When we get to Leaf...Mari-sensei, what do you think about using those 'in case of emergency' recognition codes that Jiraiya gave us? Does this count as an emergency?"

    "Close enough," she said without moving from her position against Kagome-sensei. "It's urgent, anyway. When he sees and hears what we've got I'm pretty sure he'll forgive us the minor breach of etiquette."

    Hazō nodded. "Okay. Well, in that case, I think we can probably just—"

    o-o-o-o​

    "Tomato Nipples! Tomato Nipples! Tomato Nipples!" Noburi shouted, eyeing the sandglass with impatience as the last few grains trickled through. "Tomato Nipples! Tomato Nipples! Toma—oh thank the kami. Hazō, your turn." He handed the 'glass over and turned for the fire to get some tea. He'd been shouting the recognition codes over and over for twenty minutes and his throat was sore. The deliberately-smokey nature of the fire didn't help either, but it was the best way to attract whatever stumble-footed, inattentive, idiotic, stupid, useless border patrol ninja that happened to eventually pass through the damn area.

    "This seemed like such a better idea before," Hazō mumbled, turning the timer over and setting it on the stump that had been placed there for that purpose. "Tomato Nipples! Tomato Nip—"

    "You don't have to shout," said a ninja in Leaf attire, fading out of the trees. "We're here. Who are you and why are you using the emergency codes?"

    "About time," Noburi mumbled from somewhere behind Hazō.

    "We're agents of Jiraiya's," said Mari-sensei's grizzled-male-ninja henged form, appearing at Hazō's elbow like magic. "We've got information that he needs, urgently. And, speaking of information...'Tomato Nipples'? Really?"

    The Leaf ninja had the grace to look embarrassed. "Yeah...I think he tries to make up emergency codes where you're only going to want to use it if it's a real emergency."

    Henged-Mari-sensei grunted. "Guess so. Anyway, we need to see h—"

    "What's with your friend?" the Leaf ninja demanded suddenly, pointing behind Hazō to the rest of the group.

    With a sigh, Hazō turned to find that Keiko and Noburi were each holding one of Kagome-sensei's arms in a no-honest-this-grip-is-completely-casual way that coincidentally kept the sealmaster's hands away from his belt. As a result Kagome-sensei was able to hurl only dark glares and sub voce imprecations along the lines of 'stinking mumble Leaf cheating stinking eyeballs mumble hiding in the woods and mumble mumble mumble show them. Show them all.'

    Mari-sensei didn't even bother turning around. "He's had a rough deployment," she said. "So, meeting with Jiraiya, right? Got urgent information for him."

    The Leaf ninja eyed Kagome-sensei warily for a few more seconds, then gave a crisp nod. "Right," he said. "I'm not letting you into the city without more than a code, but you can wait at the gate while I fetch Mr. Tomato Nipples." He put two fingers in his mouth and blew a quick series of whistles, then turned for the trees with an over-the-shoulder, "Follow me."


    This update concludes in Chapter 116.2: Taking Root!


    XP AWARD: 25

    In addition: +2 XP as thanks to @Enjou and @Vecht for some very funny jokes that made their way into this two-part update.

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, April 5, 2017, at 12pm London time.


    Notes:
    • Kagome did not have materials for invisible ink, so that has not yet been tested.
    • Hazō did not propose the stop in Tea because Mari-sensei had already okayed use of the emergency recognition codes.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 116.2 + 116.3: "Taking Root" and "Wot Bwings Us Togevah"
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 116.1: Taking Root​

    In short order the gate was roughly pushed open, as Jiraiya walked out, flanked by Agent Black on one side and a wolf-masked ANBU on the other. Agent Black gave the team a brief smile. The Toad Sage did not.

    "Black oak and cedar," came the curt secondary confirmation code from Jiraiya.

    "White ash and elm. Hello, sir," Mari-sensei acknowledged, bowing her head deferentially. The genin all bowed more deeply.

    Jiraiya nodded with decidedly less deference, and waved the team's escorts away. "What's this about? The runner who fetched me said you used your Priority Orange passphrase, and I can't help but notice that none of you are injured. Unless you're hiding it under the henges?" he asked. Mari-sensei shook her head minutely, and dispelled her disguise. The rest of the team followed suit. "No? Well, then. This had better be good. Out with it."

    "By all means," Mari-sensei said warmly. "Thing number one: Keiko?"

    Keiko stepped forward. "Summoning Technique: Pandour!"

    A lithe pangolin emerged from the violet smoke, holding a wood-covered clay tablet. "In the name of the Polemarch and the Pantokrator, I, Courier Pandour, bring a message for the summoner of the mighty and esteemed Toad clan," it -- he? -- said very formally. It looked up at Jiraiya. "Sir, I assume that would be you, sir?"

    "Indeed. Thank you, Courier," Jiraiya responded, taking the tablet and breaking it open. His eyes scanned it rapidly. "Interesting. Bad news, obviously, but definitely an opportunity," he mused. "Courier Pandour, please inform your superiors that your summoner and I will coordinate to act on this information with due haste and force."

    Pandour saluted. "By your leave, summoner?" he asked, turning to Keiko, who nodded after only a brief moment of being startled at being addressed. In a puff of purple smoke, Pandour was gone.

    Jiraiya turned back to Mari-sensei. "You called that 'thing one'. I presume that means there are more?"

    "You presume correctly. We have another innovation to sell. You called the last one the Sealing innovation of the year - I'll eat my sandals if this one isn't at least the ninjutsu innovation of the decade. Quite possibly the century."

    Agent Black quirked an eyebrow. "Come on now, don't sell yourself short. Humility doesn't look good on you."

    "I have to agree, I'll believe it when I see it," Jiraiya concurred gruffly.

    Mari-sensei smiled and began a frankly absurd sequence of handseals, ending with no less than seven Horse seals. "Pretty Pink Pony no Jutsu!" she cried out dramatically, and then took a step backward and upward. And another. And another, until she was standing upside down. She spun around to face Jiraiya, her head now level with his, and performed a midair curtsey that the girls in the Fire Daimyo's court would have killed to be able to duplicate.

    Jiraiya's jaw had gone slack somewhere around the second step. It remained there for several long seconds, an occasional blink the only sign that he had not, in fact, been turned into a statue. Eventually he remembered he had to breathe, and the action seemed to knock him out of his stupor.

    Jiraiya rubbed his eyes. He dispelled. He pinched himself. He had the wolf-masked ANBU smack him. Inoue Mari kept right on floating in front of him, with a grin to put foxes everywhere to shame.

    "Young lady!" he exclaimed eventually. "You get down and explain yourself this instant! I categorically refuse to believe that was a jutsu."

    Her smile now resembling nothing so much as a megalodon that had just spotted a crippled whale, Mari-sensei flipped down onto her feet. "I don't get what's so hard to understand, Mister Toad Sage sir," she said, putting a contemplative finger to her cheek, voice full of faux-innocence. "You're right, it's not a jutsu, though. It's just a seal that gives any ninja freeform three-dimensional maneuverability with minimal prep. Lets you do unimpressive things like running up to skytower platforms, traveling tracelessly over borders, escaping disadvantageous combat instantly, observing enemies from afar, dropping arbitrarily sized payloads on military targets with a fraction of the setup of skytowers, making your footsteps practically noiseless…."

    "That's not a fucking explanation, Inoue!"

    Hazou had to fight not to flinch, and caught everybody else doing so. Mari-sensei knew best, of course, but he worried her strategy of getting Jiraiya off-guard ahead of negotiations might be working a little too well.

    "You're right, it's not," Mari responded, her saccharine demeanor cutting out instantly, "and you're not getting one until we have a couple of promises from you, Jiraiya. You're paying for this one in full. None of that petty cash nonsense like last time."

    Jiraiya blew out a long breath. "Yeah, fine, I promise, now for the love of all that is good, what did you just do?!"

    Mari-sensei shook her head solemnly. "Deal details, then explanation."

    Jiraiya's face twisted into a mask of rage for a split second before he visibly forced himself to take a deep breath, then two. "Fine. My office. Now."

    ...​

    "Your side of the deal first then," Jiraiya said, sitting down behind his desk. "What are the specs?"

    Mari-sensei nodded at Hazou, who began enumerating. "Each set of seals has a total activation time that varies between fourteen and nineteen minutes. On the move, that comes out to between twenty eight and thirty eight minutes of running before needing to change out seals, since each foot is only active half the time. Improving the duration and reliability is an ongoing project, as is coming up with a fast-swapping mechanism and finding a way to protect the seals from condensation when running through clouds--"

    Jiraiya stopped him with an upraised finger. "Clouds?" he asked incredulously.

    Hazou nodded and continued along a different part of his script, grateful that the conversation was staying roughly within the bounds the team had anticipated. "We have not observed a maximum height and have successfully used the seals, in conjunction with skytowers for campsites, to cross the elemental nations from Snow to Sea without ever touching the ground or, as far as we can tell, being detected."

    Jiraiya's eye twitched, and he glanced briefly at Agent Black, who simply nodded and kept looking at the party.

    "That sounds like a hell of a field test," Jiraiya commented glibly. "Okay, so Leaf gets some admittedly fairly intriguing seals. You want what?" he asked, leaning back to take a sip of tea that someone -- Hazou suspected the ANBU that he could no longer see -- had placed on his desk.

    "Your hand in marriage," Mari-sensei, causing Jiraiya to choke on his drink.

    "Dammit woman, do you exist to make me suffer?" the Toad Sage sputtered.

    She shrugged, grinning. "I hear that's what married couples are supposed to do. I hadn't really seen the appeal of it before I met you."

    Jiraiya settled back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh. "Why…?"

    "We want clan status on top of Leaf citizenship," she said. "Along with all the rights and privileges that those entail, to protect our innovations and ourselves from political maneuvering. The existing clans won't let a bunch of unrelated nobodies become a clan. We don't want to marry into an existing one, so we need to create a new one. You need an heir, and marrying anyone from an established clan upsets the local balance of power too much. Marrying a clanless nobody is disadvantageous, since your kid will get stuck in the middle of the forest of spiderwebs that I'm sure is Leaf clan politics as soon as you're gone. So, start your own clan. Adopt the kids, have some with me. Become famous as the patriarch of the world's greatest Sealing and scientific innovation clan. Leaf gets three new bloodlines, the Pangolin summoner, and easy access to whatever a pair of sealmasters who have collaborated on two world-shattering innovations in a matter of months come up with next.

    "Of course, the five of us will hide our identities until Leaf rolls Mist in the upcoming war using the innovations we've already produced. What do you expect that to take, with skywalkers? A week, maybe? Hopefully at that point Leaf will be so powerful relative to the rest of the Elemental Nations that it won't matter if anyone knows who we are. If not, we'll see what we can do to fix that."

    Jiraiya held up a hand to pause her, and leaned forward with his hands folded in front of his face. He was silent for a long minute. Hazou hardly dared to breathe.

    Eventually Jiraiya spoke. "I want to state, for the record that this entire idea is completely ludicrous. Set-your-face-on-fire stupid, as I believe my esteemed colleague Kagome would put it. But supposing, hypothetically, that this were to be in any way possible, is that all you want? It sounds like you're planning on offering a lot more than these 'skywalkers', after all."

    Hazou suppressed the urge to dispel. That sounded entirely too sarcastic, which would imply that his entire world was about to be turned even further onto its head than he'd expected when he decided to become a Leaf nin.

    Mari-sensei simply nodded. "Extraction from Mist for Hazou's mother, who we mentioned to you last time we were here. This should be significantly easier using skywalkers."

    "Hmmm. Potentially doable, especially since it adds a jounin to our side, though tricky with tensions as high as they are. It almost certainly needs to wait for the actual declaration of war - which might be less of an obstacle than it sounds like, since we're seeing some signs that Mist is very nearly ready to make the first move. No promises, though. Next."

    "Well, that's unfortunate, because a promise is exactly what we want. A promise on the part of Leaf's military leadership that they will make every effort to end the war with a minimum of casualties. The rest of us have friends and family in Mist." A flash of grief broke through her stoic negotiator's exterior. "We would really rather they not die."

    Jiraiya grimaced. "Sweetheart, that's really cute, but suggesting stuff like that is going to get you branded a traitor and a spy."

    "I'm both of those things," Mari-sensei pointed out, "but in this case I'm trying to be them for Leaf's benefit. And, as I'm sure Hazou is about to remind me, for the benefit of quite literally the entire world. A prolonged war just pushes civilization closer to the edge. Agent Black can spend as much time in my head as she needs to make damn sure I'm telling the truth. I want Mist to realize the world has just been pulled out from under their feet, and for them to give up as quickly as they possibly can.

    "For that, Leaf needs to show how utterly dominant they are," she concluded, licking her lips and looking at him through lidded eyes.

    Jiraiya snorted. "Again, cute, but no promises. We might be able to swing that in a way that appeals to the patriots. Anything else?"

    "Oh, sure, lots of things."

    "Lots of things? On top of what you've already asked for?"

    "Jiraiya," Mari-sensei admonished, "we're handing Leaf the world on a gilded platter. The least you could do would be to spoil us a little bit. For example, keep the kids off the front line -- their medical, sealing, and logistical talents all lend themselves to the home front -- or at least don't send them on missions where they might have to kill family members. Oh, and let me retire."

    The team all did some combination of gasping and recoiling. Hazou nearly bit his tongue off to keep himself from jumping in to interrupt.

    "Sorry guys," Mari-sensei said, turning away from Jiraiya to look guiltily at the rest of the team. "I know we didn't talk about this, but we agreed to add what all the team members want, and that's mine."

    "You want the one jounin in your group to be taken out of the field? You realize this removes a pretty substantial amount of value from your side of the scales, right?" Jiraiya asked skeptically.

    "Normally, yes, but in the context of the other things we're offering it's paltry. Besides, I'm an infiltrator, not a combat spec. Not so great on the front line anyway. At the very least take me off the active duty roster once the war is over. Hard to do field work when you're pregnant, after all."

    Jiraiya paused, bit his lip, and looked out the window for a long, calming breath before facing the team again. "Don't think I don't see what you're doing here."

    "Of course you do. I haven't got the blindfold out yet," Mari-sensei teased.

    The remainder of Team Uplift had collectively turned various shades of crimson.

    Jiraiya turned to Agent Black, gesticulating with an open palm at Mari-sensei. "What did I do to deserve this?" he asked, exasperated.

    The Yamanaka woman raised a single sculpted eyebrow. "Chronologically, or alphabetically?"

    "I don't pay you to snark!"

    "Finally," Mari-sensei continued, grabbing the reins of the conversation once more, "we want wherever we live, as well as Hazou and Kagome's sealing lab, to be shielded the same way that meeting room was, and for Kagome to be allowed to set up security to his desired specifications. You know, clan secrets and all that."

    Jiraiya chewed his cheek. "To my knowledge clan compounds tend to only have private, inner areas shielded instead of every building, since the seals don't last all that long, but with three sealmasters around that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Shielded sealing lab would be a little tricky, since the seals need to be far enough to avoid getting caught up in any infusion failures," he said, looking wryly at Hazou, "but if it turns out to be an issue we can just do our research far enough out into the woods for you to be comfortable, Kagome."

    "WHAT? Who said anything about our research?! What makes you think I would want to do research with the most famous sealmaster in... the world… yeah that sounds fine. When can we start? Wait, no! I don't believe you, you lying stinker! You're just trying to lull us into complacency, and then you're gonna grab everyone and lock us up under the Hokage monument and feed me an' Hazou pieces of everyone else every day we don't come up with a new seal!"

    "Sensei, sensei, breathe," Hazou said, placing a firm hand on Kagome's arm as the older man scrabbled for his empty ring pouches. "Remember what we talked about? How we figured out what Leaf would have to do to convince us they were being honest? It sounds like Jiraiya's saying they'll let us live in a building the Hyuuga can't see through and secure it however you like, which you agreed would prove they really didn't want to hurt us."

    "But we're not in that building yet, are we?!" Kagome yelled.

    "That's true, sensei," Hazou answered calmly. "That makes it kind of difficult to design security for. Maybe we should ask Jiraiya for more details so you can start thinking about how to keep us safe? After all... it sounds like he may be planning on joining us…?"

    "May be?" laughed the Toad Sage. "You bet your ass I will be."


    Only Mari-sensei managed not to have her jaw drop open.

    "What?" Jiraiya asked innocently, folding his hands once more. "Despite the complete lack of romantic sensibility displayed in her proposal, none of the things my lovely fiancee said were factually incorrect. My lack of clan status has been inconvenient, but not enough to justify marrying the first clanless kunoichi who catches my fancy.

    "But you lot just offered me a deal in which I not only get to secure Leaf's military dominance in the near future, I also get an adopted son who's apparently some kind of Sealing prodigy, I get his weird uncle who's actually got some damn respect for the art, I get a hot wife who wants my babies, I get to be responsible for bringing three bloodlines and two summoning scrolls into Leaf, and I get to rub every single ounce of this in the faces of the people who told me this team was a bad investment. That is absolutely worth the trouble of getting married to overcome my oldest political handicap." He paused and, finger upraised, spun to face Mari-sensei. "I don't do monogamy."

    "Neither do I," she said with a grin that was illegal in six countries.

    "...right." He shook himself and turned back to the others. "Obviously, until this is finalized, we'll have to hide you for a little while. Hmm. Where would be a good spot for-- no, wait!"

    He whirled on Hazou pointing an accusing finger. "You! Skywalking! Explain! Now!"

    Hazou hesitated. "Do we have your word that--"

    "Yes! You have it! We're a team! Kami, out with it, kid!"

    "Okay," Hazou acquiesced. "You know the Air Dome?"

    "Huh? I would hope so, seeing as I gave you the damn thing," Jiraiya responded testily.

    "You know how the dome it creates is fixed in place?"

    "Sure. One of the most common ways seals like that operate. One of the banes of my existence, frankly, since it makes it damn useless as a mobile shield. Hell, it's the big reason I never spent much time messing around with Five-Seal… Barrier... oh no."

    "Yeah."

    "No."

    "Yup."

    "That doesn't work. That can't possibly work!" Jiraiya practically shouted.

    "Breathe, sir," Mari-sensei chided him.

    "Flip it over and make a version that activates with chakra adhesion, to stick yourself to the flat parts of the dome," Hazou continued.

    "That can't possibly work!" Jiraiya insisted again, gesticulating crazily as he stood up from his desk and began pacing back and forth behind it.

    "And yet here we are," Mari pointed out. "Also, breathe."

    "You can't just flip over a basic defensive seal and end up with the ability to walk on air! That isn't -- gaaaah!"

    "Hey! It was more work than that! It took Kagome-sensei a whole month of work to figure out how to get the seal to respond to chakra adhesion!" Hazou objected.

    Jiraiya froze cold, and then his head dropped into his hands very, very slowly. "A month," he mumbled to himself. "A month in the hands of some snot-nosed kid, and suddenly a seal I've had access to for decades is the biggest strategic shift since the fucking Sage of Six Paths."

    He raised his head, wearing the face of a broken man. "Huh. Maybe I should try kicking you out of Leaf again and see what you come up with this time."

    "With respect, I'd advise against that, sir," Keiko cut in. "Notably, it risks our dying and being unable to provide Leaf with additional ideas and innovations. Additionally, according to Hazou, he had actually had the idea for skywalkers for quite a while, and the Air Domes just happened to provide an easier way to accomplish it."

    Jiraiya stared at her, and then whirled on Wolf. "Make sure their quarters from last time are serviceable, then return and escort them there once Agent Black finishes verifying Miss Inoue's honesty. Put as many people as you can afford on guarding this team -- if any of them so much as stub a toe, you're losing skin."

    He turned back to the team. "My only lodging in the city is a studio apartment, so we'll make your old quarters work until we can figure out a more permanent solution. Until then, we're going to have to work hard to keep your presence here a secret. I'll be by tonight to talk strategy for how we want to approach this with Sarutobi-sensei and the Clan- and Military Councils. Until then, sit tight, and let one of your minders know if you need anything."

    His commander's demeanor slipped a little as he cracked a cocky grin. "Oh, and welcome to Hidden Leaf. I think you're gonna like it here. I have every intention of making sure of it."


    You are back in the quarters where you stayed during your last visit to Leaf. At least four ANBU are patrolling the immediate area. You have been fed, watered, and cleaned. Jiraiya is supposed to show up soon to go over strategizing for how to keep your presence here quiet while broaching this subject to the other Leaf bigwigs. When you left him in his office, he was cackling like a madman about "just flipping it over".

    Some info for planning purposes:

    Similarly to Mist, the military hierarchy goes: Hiruzen => Jiraiya => jōnin commander => jōnin team leaders (only to their team) => random jōnin (to chūnin / genin) => chūnin => genin, with seniority within rank based on graduation date from the Academy or special assignment from Hiruzen, and with ANBU as a separate spec ops force reporting directly to the Hokage (who then sometimes makes Jiraiya do the work of orgainzing them).

    An interesting logistical note: Konoha's wall encloses enough farmland to make the place self-sufficient, as well as cordoned-off wild areas for ninja training. (The Forest of Death is one such area just on the other side of the wall, where they frequently dump large amounts of food scraps in order to attract chakra beasts.) There may be opportunities to buy up and build on such land, especially if it's not arable.

    Roughly, Jiraiya expects the main clans in Leaf to have these dispositions toward the idea of the new clan in the absence of intervention:
    • Yamanaka will believe in your sincerity thanks to Agent Black, but will likely still argue against the idea (Inoichi, at least, was apparently one of the people who were on his case last time).
    • Nara will support Yamanaka but could probably be convinced by a cost/benefit analysis which they believed was done honestly and thoroughly, in which case they might help to sway the Yamanaka.
    • Akimkchi ends up going wherever the other members of Ino-Shika-Cho go, but if there's a split they're liable to support the anti-faction.
    • Uchiha, Aburame, and Inuzuka are likely to oppose diluting clan privileges on principle, with the Inuzuka particularly against accepting deserters regardless of circumstances.
    • Hyuuga will doubtlessly oppose someone mass-manufacturing anti-Hyuuga seals, as well as strongly opposing anything that could challenge their current position as the single strongest clan.
    Chapter 116.2: Wot Bwings Us Togevah​

    Sarutobi Hiruzen's doors were shoved open. "Sensei, we need to talk," Jiraiya proclaimed. "Privately."

    "Hm? What's going on, Jiraiya?" Hiruzen inquired, setting down the most recent scout reports from the Hot Springs border.

    His student didn't reply immediately, instead making a tour of the room to activate the various privacy seals scattered around. He then turned to the ANBU standing unobtrusively in the corner. "Out! Tango-delta-Charlie-Romeo-47." The young woman nodded and scampered away immediately.

    "Jiraiya, what in the world is going on?" Hiruzen asked again, much more seriously.

    "I'm getting married, sensei."

    It was all Hiruzen could do to snap his jaw shut rather than letting it hang open. Even having heard Jiraiya give his security code not ten seconds ago, Hiruzen seriously considered attacking the man in front of him as an impostor, and a poor one at that. Of course, an impostor skilled enough to get that code would have been skilled enough to say something more believable, unless they were deliberately saying something as shocking as possible to throw him off-balance, etc, etc, etc....

    Hiruzen considered all of this in a fraction of a second, which culminated in a short and deeply skeptical "Oh?"

    Jiraiya nodded resolutely. "To Inoue Mari."

    Hiruzen reflexively dispelled, and then blinked several times as the world around him completely failed to dissolve. "...come again?" he said eventually.

    "Team Mari reported in. They made me an offer I couldn't refuse, which included my marriage to their jounin-sensei for the purpose of founding a new clan."

    "...you're going to need to give me a little more explanation than that," Hiruzen said carefully. "Substantially more, in fact. What could they have possibly offered you that would be worth giving up the independence you've sought to maintain for so long? Not to mention having to deal with all the political squabbling needed to keep the clans from heavily resisting, or even openly rebelling when they hear you're planning on forming a clan with a bunch of missing nin--"

    "One, once they're in a clan, they won't be missing nin anymore," Jiraiya cut in. "They'd be Leaf. They'd be ours. Two, she cares about as much about the whole monogamy thing as I do. Three, remember that this is the group who came up with the skytowers. The seal they're offering this time is an order of magnitude more important."

    Hiruzen sighed. "Jiraiya, I worry you may be letting your enthusiasm for fuinjutsu cloud your judgement somewhat."

    "They call them 'skywalkers. Seals that let you run on thin air."

    *Blink. Blink.* "...come again?" Hiruzen said, again, caught completely off-guard for the second time in as many minutes.

    "They ran from Snow to the island west of Sea without ever touching the ground or being spotted by anyone, including our airborne scouts. Think about it, sensei. Avoid any and all patrols, no dealing with chakra beasts, staying out of unfavorable combat, flexible high-altitude bombing, keeping skytowers perpetually supplied with no way for enemies to reach them. This changes everything."

    "You've seen these for yourself?"

    Jiraiy nodded decisively. "And had Agent Black verify that the operational specs they gave me were honest."

    "That's... certainly impressive," Hiruzen admitted, his head spinning. With a tool like that, the war on the horizon looked... significantly less frightening, to put it mildly. "I can't say that I see why this means you need to found a clan with a missing nin woman, though."

    "It was one of their conditions. That, and adopting all the genin into it. I don't think they actually said anything about letting Kagome in, but hell with it, he should probably get at least honorary membership. He did all the real work, it sounds like. Hazou - the Kurosawa kid - just came up with the idea."

    "It may have been one of their conditions, but surely you didn't have to accept their very first offer? Has the great diplomat forgotten how to negotiate?"

    "Why wouldn't I?" Jiraiya asked. "They need a clan to keep their bloodline secrets and seal research safe. I need a clan to pass on knowledge and training to, to protect any heirs from interference by other clans, and to stop the endless lectures about how I don't understand the importance of family," he said, finishing with more than a twinge of bitterness. "None of us can join established clans. Inoue Mari is hot and compatible in terms of personality. Mori is the Pangolin summoner, so Leaf gets that extra firepower. Kurosawa is apparently some kind of Sealing prodigy who could both benefit from and contribute to my own work. Kagome is an accomplished sealmaster, and Leaf could always use more of those. Wakahisa is a budding medic. Realistically, I'm not going to get a better opportunity to found my own clan and shake up the conservative bloc. And to top it all off, I get to tell all the pricks on Councils who gave me shit for being soft on Team Mari to suck it."

    Hiruzen was silent for a long minute, lighting his pipe and taking occasional contemplative puffs. "Fine," he said eventually. "If this is what you feel is best for Leaf and for your own happiness, then I am inclined to at least hear you out. After all, having a more progressive voice on the Clan Council can only be helpful, and frankly I can't wait to see Hiashi's face when he finds out. Now, obviously this can't become public until after the war has started. Or ended, as the case may be, thanks to these 'skywalkers'. Tell Kiyoshi to cancel my appointments for the rest of the day -- we will need to hash out a strategy for getting as many clans to go along with this without a fuss as we can manage.

    "Tangentially, the Kurosawa boy seems... interesting. Once might be chance. Twice is, at the very least, a coincidence worth looking into."

    "According to Agent Black, it's sounding like a lot more than twice, but I'd like to see a couple of the other ideas in action before I bank on them."

    "As I said, interesting," Hiruzen replied, chewing his pipe contemplatively. "Very interesting. In any case, let's get to work. The place to start, I think would be the Nara...."


    Agent Black and Mari-sensei spent several long minutes staring at one another before Agent Black confirmed that you guys weren't bullshitting.

    Other important info re: clans and Leaf government:
    • There are three advisory councils to the Hokage, who retains ultimate dictatorial authority. However, substantial political maneuvering is often necessary to prevent resentments from building up. As @Velorien put it in chat: "Hiruzen has to have the overall support of the clans, because that is the source of his legitimacy. As soon as he loses that, he's ruling because he's the man with the biggest stick, and at that point he'll be facing physical rebellion from a village of ninja." If Hiruzen overrode the clans all day every day, they would at the very least drag their feet in getting missions done, and might eventually be pushed into actual rebellion given a sufficient weight of grievances. Even Sarutobi Hiruzen isn't especially fond of the idea of fighting a whole city full of goddamn kung-fu battle wizards.
      • The Merchant Council is made up of business owners and those responsible for the city's services, and is largely made up of civilians (though since clans often run businesses, there are ninja representatives as well).
      • The Clan Council is made up of the heads of every recognized Leaf clan. The specific legal benefits of being a clan revolve around a) a position in this body, to ensure that any concerns you have are heard by the Hokage, and b) the right to withhold information (e.g. about bloodlines, jutsu, and seals) from Leaf's government under laws governing clan secrets. Unless an innovation is claimed as such, those who developed it are expected to make it available to the broader community in exchange for reasonable compensation.
        • So, when Jiraiya / Keiko / Noburi say that clans won't want their privileges 'diluted', what they mean is that they don't want other people taking up the Kage's time and attention, and that they don't want other people to be able to withhold innovations that they / they broader community might make use of (and which might give the innovator some competitive advantage). There are also issues of deeply embedded traditions and ideas about nobility over which clans might oppose the formation of a new clan full of ex-missing nin, but those are more PR and less pragmatism.
        • The unwritten benefits include an unofficial, and to a large extent unspoken, agreement to collaborate on putting administrative, economic, and hypothetical-military pressure on the Hokage and non-clan groups to ensure that various clans' desires are catered to.
      • The War Council is made up of the top tactical and strategic minds Leaf has to offer, as well as the jounin who head the various wings of Leaf's military. The War Council meets regularly even when Leaf is neither at war nor planning to go to war in order to maintain plausible deniability.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 117: Earning Trust
  • Threadmarks

    • Jiraiya let the stack of paper fall from his weary hands. It hit the table with a thud.

    "Hazō, I appreciate how you've saved me a bunch of time by writing everything out as a list, but Sage's beard, kid, what's wrong with you?"

    "I assumed you'd be tired," Hazō explained unashamedly, "and this seemed like the most time-efficient way of presenting the information. I even got special dispensation from Keiko."

    Jiraiya sighed.

    "Actually, my headache is getting worse rather than better. But all right. Let's go through this little lot.

    "The Poor Man's Yellow Flash? Hilarious. Leaf has been waiting for the second coming of the Yellow Flash for a long time—don't get your hopes up, kid, that position's already reserved—and this is going to put up a lot of people's hackles. I can definitely work with this.

    "The seal itself is nothing special. Rock was using time-delay storage seals back when I fought them in the war—that's my war, not your parents' war—so you'll need to come up with some creative applications if you want to get the veterans' attention. But somehow I suspect that won't be a problem.

    "Now, the macerator, that one I like. Stupid name—it doesn't look or work anything like a mace—but it's simple, it's effective, and when I tried out the one you gave me, I found I could do some very fun things with it.

    "Your research ideas I'm less convinced by. In terms of the flying compound, I'll tell you what I told Toshikatsu: it'll be a pain to design because you can't put supporting seals on objects affected by central seals (obviously—it would negate the seal's only weak point), and as soon as you get any kind of accident, or you forget to replace something, you've got bits of your compound dropping out of the sky. Then there's access. Once you're relying on a single point of access to come and go, you're leaving yourself open to being besieged in a way that simply doesn't happen with normal forts.

    "Now, your skywalkers fix that, but they also raise the question of why bother with a flying compound at all. Within Leaf, anyone will be able to come up to you anyway. Outside Leaf, we're not going to be spending much time on static defence, not with our crazy new mobility. And in any case it's only a matter of time before the skywalkers become universal. Sooner or later, somebody will find out about the seal, and reverse-engineer it off the bodies of killed soldiers.

    "As for using it as a clan compound, c'mon, Inoue, you must have taught the kid better than that. What message are you sending when you're looking down on everyone in Leaf from your castle in the air?"

    Mari-sensei winced.

    "But it gets worse. 'Bigger explosions'. Tell me, have any of you ever heard of Hidden Whirlpool?"

    Hazō nodded warily.

    "Any explosives 'big enough to change warfare', you forget right now. Scrub them out of your mind. If we could trust the Yamanaka to do it, I'd ask them this minute, but they would quite rightly think it was safer to kill you instead. Think for a second about the kind of people who would want that technology. Enemy agents. Hostile factions, domestic and foreign, who'd want to hold villages to ransom as leverage. Oh, and those wacky ninja who want to end the world. Those pop up every now and again.

    "And Kagome, have you not told the kid about the Watchers?"

    "The Watchers?" Kagome-sensei scoffed. "That's just a myth."

    Hazō turned to stare at Kagome-sensei in uncomprehending horror. The rest of the team were doing the same, Mari-sensei visibly one move away from attacking the impostor.

    "It's obviously just a cover for when the lupchanzen conspiracy kidnaps another promising sealmaster for use in their forbidden experiments."

    Everyone relaxed.

    "Oh, the Watchers are real," Jiraiya said grimly. "A couple of decades ago, I got desperate during the battle of Ryūgamine Peak and deliberately failed a seal infusion. I got a visit the very next night.

    "I woke up, but I couldn't move, like there was this huge weight on top of me, except there wasn't. I couldn't see or hear anything… except this voice. It said that out of respect for my name as Jiraiya of the Leaf Three, I would get one chance. I was never to weaponise sealing failure again, or in any other way use sealcrafting to endanger the survival of civilisation. Then I went back to sleep, and in the morning it might all have been a dream, except that somebody had taken care to disable all of the traps around my door, and then fix them again after they left.

    "Don't fuck with the Watchers."

    Hazō nodded, feeling the hairs stand up on the back of his neck.

    "I—I also have a design for knockout gas bombs you could drop from a height. Totally harmless and non-lethal. No threat to civilization at all."

    "Better," Jiraiya agreed. "Much better. The Hokage will be happy to hear about those, at least if you can convince him that you're not going to accidentally poison anyone. Some poisons have serious long-term effects that you might not notice at the time, and you don't want to inflict those on anybody you want kept alive."

    Mari-sensei gave a knowing smile which Hazō decided not to think about too much.

    "What fascinates me is this next part," Jiraiya went on. "Storage seals and seal-based mechanisms for civilian use. As you know, Leaf is big on civilian welfare, and this could revolutionise civilian lives without getting anybody killed. Minato had some crazy ideas along the same lines—he'd have loved the idea of a Mist-nin of all people following up on them. He thought that if we radically improved civilian survival rates in the Fire Country, then Mist would be first in line to strike at our population centres to protect the balance of power. Hopefully, that's not going to be a concern for much longer.

    "Once we win the war, we should have the resource base to throw behind something like this, provided you can come up with workable designs and persuade the decision-makers. I'd love to see what a prospering civilian population does to the sales figures for my books."

    Jiraiya grinned. Hazō smiled uncertainly back.

    "Now, negotiations. I think the 'keep your mouth shut' strategy is a good one. There's going to be quite a sense of urgency about this decision, so people will be looking for any opportunity to make snap judgements about you. Don't give them any openings, and let me do the talking, at least for now.

    "In terms of custom seals for different clans, we're lucky with the timing. Normally, it wouldn't help all that much—if you're giving Clan A special seals, they can safely assume you'll be doing the same for their rivals in Clan B, and for all they know those seals could be better. But in wartime, those concerns fade into the background to some extent. That said, don't get ahead of yourself. Leaf does have its own sealmasters, and so do most of the big clans. You can't protect your independence if you have to rely on the central government for your sealing.

    "Noburi's medic work will help us. There's no such thing as too many medics, and miraculously, you still have Dr Yakushi on your side. With a bit of help from Tsunade, we might be able to wrangle that into an extra support base, especially if you can figure out something to offer them that they don't have already. You got a bunch of training from outside Leaf, so figure out how to leverage it.

    "Keiko… the non-lethal thing could be a pro or a con, because the last thing you want is to be associated with Gai in people's minds when it comes to politics. Or at all. We'll come back to you later."

    Hazō didn't like the way Jiraiya said that.

    "With that said, your connections with the minders from last time are useful, and we should try to exploit them. For now, you can't be seen moving around as a group, or drawing any kind of attention, so there's not much you can do on that front, but think about ways you can appeal to the heirs in particular. It'll mesh well with my work higher up the chain.

    "I'm thinking about the Hyūga in particular. I'm going to have a real hard time making inroads with those supremacist jerks, so if you've managed to get that Neji kid on your side, that could potentially make a big difference."

    Noburi bit his lip.

    "In broader terms, the strategy you've outlined is not that different from what I've been planning myself, with one notable exception. You kids really think there's hope of containment at this point? Right now very few people know you're back, but as to who you are? Pretty much everyone who's interacted with you in any way knows that by now. You think the clan kids didn't report to their parents? Or that nobody heard about that mess at the library? No, that messenger bird has flown. I don't deny we would have a much easier time if you were just mysterious ninja appearing out of nowhere, but we have to deal with the situation as it is.

    "Now, my work for the next few days is going to be meeting with the clans one by one, spinning this story a dozen different ways, promising concessions and cashing in bits of political capital left, right and centre. A few clans might go for your idealism, so have some good speeches ready when they finally invite you for an audience. The traditionalists would freak out, so you'll need to focus on your loyalty to Leaf—stressing the Will of Fire and how much this place is better than Mist—and how useful your inventions will be, as opposed to how much they'll change the world.

    "Above all, don't accept any invitations until you've had a chance for me to brief you on the clan. If ninja you don't know come to talk to you, try and deflect them. 'That information is classified' will get you surprisingly far, as long as you're polite enough about it. For myself, I particularly like 'It would be disrespectful to discuss such matters with you before I've had a chance to do so with your clan leader'. And go nowhere without an ANBU escort. I think that's pretty self-explanatory."

    "What about Akane?" Hazō finally asked the question that had been foremost in his mind once he'd got the list out of it. "How is she? When can I see her?"

    "I can't say I didn't see this coming," Jiraiya gave Hazō an amused look, "so had one of my people check. She's out of the hospital. Once we're done here, you get one visit. Since she's non-clan and a political nobody, you should be in the clear. It's lucky you're not dating someone relevant like that Yamanaka girl, or we'd be having a nightmare right about now.

    "But first, there's one more thing. After the long, painful hours I spent hashing all this out with the Hokage, I went straight to the Nara compound to have some more long, painful hours with them. Where the Nara go, the Yamanaka and the Akimichi follow, and getting Leaf's strongest clan alliance on board is going to be a major coup if we can pull it off.

    "Also, they're the Nara. When I told Shikaku about the plan, he pulled a folder out of his desk, flipped through a few pages and then told me exactly what it was going to cost us. Then I told him about the skywalkers and he just turned to a different page. You can see why those guys are our first priority.

    "At any rate, we made plenty of headway. Hazō, you can look forward to a very long conversation with Shikaku—he's the clan leader, in case that wasn't obvious—at some point in the near future. And Keiko…

    "Keiko, one of the conditions they set for their support is that you join the clan, by adoption or marriage. Shikaku said you'd be worth the coins."

    "Coins?" Keiko frowned. "What coins?"

    Then her mouth opened a little. "Oh. I… I see. Please excuse me. There are some things I must consider."

    She got up and left the table, her movements already shifting into the slower, smoother pattern of the Frozen Skein as she headed for the girls' bedroom.

    Silence reigned in her wake.

    -o-
    ​
    Hazō raised his hand to the knocker for the third time, painfully aware that he was starting to gather attention, and almost physically feeling the pity and disapproval from the ANBU escort lounging casually in the shadows of the nearby alley.

    Hazō gritted his teeth and knocked.

    It took only a few seconds for the door to smoothly swing open.

    The man on the other side towered over Hazō, his bulging muscles contrasting with his keen eyes that scanned Hazō from top to bottom in a fraction of a second. He put Hazō in mind of a particularly dangerous taijutsu master.

    "How can I help you?" the man said politely.

    "Hi. I'm…" not about to say his name out loud in public. Mari-sensei's coaching had accomplished that much.

    "I'm your daughter's boyfriend. May I come in?"

    With no change of expression, the man stepped back into the house. Hazō followed.

    "Would you mind drawing the curtains so I can drop the disguise, sir?"

    The man did so briskly, then turned back as Hazō regained his true appearance.

    "So you're Kurosawa Hazō, are you?" The man presented a heavy, calloused hand for a handshake. Hazō took it.

    "Yes, sir."

    "I'm Ishihara Kenta, Akane's father. But you knew that already." His voice was neutral. Not welcoming, not hostile. "The girls are out shopping."

    "Oh. I could come back another—"

    "No. Stay. This is a good opportunity for us to have a little talk."

    Hazō gulped.

    "Y-Yes, sir."

    Kenta beckoned him to a seat.

    "Kurosawa, you and I are in a difficult situation."

    "We are?"

    Kenta nodded. "You brought my daughter back to me, and for that I owe you a debt I can never repay. I'm well aware of that. Don't let anything else I say make you think otherwise."

    Kenta took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

    "But you didn't bring her back safe. You took my Akane into a battle with some seal-throwing witch that she had no business being anywhere near, and you nearly let her die."

    "With all due respect, sir," Hazō struggled to keep a lid on his temper, "I was making the best of a very poor set of choices. I doubt anyone could have done better in my place."

    "Yes," Kenta said seriously. "That's what I mean. You're a missing-nin, and that means all your choices are bad choices. No, don't bother denying it. Or anything, in fact. My daughter has many skills, but lying isn't one of them, especially to her parents.

    "You're a missing-nin," he repeated. "And even though you brought my daughter back to me, you have to break up with her."

    "What?! Why?!" Hazō was standing up before he realised it.

    "Sit down. Please."

    There was no arguing with that level yet implacable voice. It would have been like trying to punch through a thousand-year oak.

    "It seems to me, from what I understand, that you made a lot of bad choices while Akane was with you. You caused chaos wherever you went. You got people killed. You put Akane in danger again and again. Now, maybe you didn't have a choice. Hell, I know what it's like when life makes the big decisions for you. But the fact is, no matter the reasons, my daughter's not safe with you. I don't know exactly what you're doing in Leaf, but whatever it is, Akane will be safer if you keep her out of it, and out of your criminal life."

    "That isn't—"

    "I'm not done, Kurosawa. The truth is, even setting all that aside, I don't know that I can trust you. Akane thinks you're the best thing ever, but she's a girl in love, and they're not known for being objective. What I see is a boy who just happened, despite coming from another world, to have the exact right beliefs about that Spirit of Youth foolishness. You've always said precisely the right things to her. You've supposedly never had a single fight. To me, all that screams manipulation. Not to mention that 'sensei' business. That would be abuse of authority if you weren't so much younger than her, and frankly I don't even know what it is given that you are. But it doesn't sound like a healthy way for two young people to relate to each other.

    "But suppose I give you the benefit of the doubt. I mean, I'm a father facing his daughter's first boyfriend. You could be the Sage of Six Paths himself and I wouldn't feel able to trust you with her. So let's say I'm being irrational and you're really the finest tool in the box. Even then, you're a missing-nin.

    "Now I don't know what led you down the path you're on, and I can't exactly say I'm unsympathetic. Hell, if I was forced to serve that Mizukage, I know I'd run as fast as my legs could carry me at the first opportunity.

    "But the fact remains. I have to do what's best for my daughter, and that means working with the information I've got, even if I know I don't know everything. And what I know is that you're a foreigner and a traitor, and a man with no place in the world who has nothing to offer Akane except danger. So I hope you understand why you have to break up with her. If you truly love her, you have to let her find someone who can provide for her and protect her."

    Hazō relaxed a little. For once he was ahead of the game.

    "Sir, I can't divulge any classified information, but that isn't going to be a concern the way you think. Could you… could you put me on probation for a few weeks instead of making this judgement straight away?"

    Kenta seemed to think.

    "People don't stop being missing-nin. I might not be one of you ninja, but even I know that much. There will never be a future in which she can live happily with you.

    "But… you brought my daughter back to me, and Ishihara Kenta never forgets a debt. If you think you have some way you can convince me, then you'll have your chance."

    "Thank you. Thank you so much, sir."

    Kenta grunted and held out his hand again. "Then we have a pact between men. Bring me your miracle, and I'll accept you as a potential partner for my daughter. But until you do, you stay away from her. Understood?"

    Those didn't seem like good terms at all. But between the Hokage, Jiraiya and whatever allies they could muster, Hazō felt confident about the future. And if there was one thing he didn't want, it was to alienate Akane's father.

    He grasped Kenta's hand in a trust-inspiring handshake that was probably somewhere on the Kurosawa list, but that he'd had to reinvent himself with Mari-sensei's help.

    "Understood."

    Kenta relaxed. "Good. And remember, even if you manage whatever it is you're doing, that just gets you a foot in the door. It doesn't mean I trust you, and it doesn't mean you're good enough for my daughter. Next time you knock on that door, you'd better be prepared."

    "Yes, sir."

    Hazō could only hope that his recent good behaviour had won him some leeway with the team. This was going to take one serious list.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    You have books as requested. You are slowly familiarising yourselves with basic Leaf etiquette. Leaf is a very different society to Mist (they have no open secret police!), and it's taking all of you (except Mari-sensei) a long time to get your head around. Kagome in particular is struggling, and a lot of your time is going into helping him through. You're not sure how much it'll help in practice.

    There are no recorded instances of missing-nin being adopted into Leaf. That might mean it's never happened, or that nobody saw fit to make it publicly available information.

    You have also found the time for Mari-sensei's diplomacy/deception training. She seemed uncomfortable, but not wholly unwilling.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    You have earned 5 XP.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    What do you do?​
    ​
    Voting closes on Saturday 8th​ of April, 9 am New York Time.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 118: Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies
  • Threadmarks

    • "Hazō, scout the corridor," Mari-sensei murmured, eyes flicking nervously across the map. "I don't like this. It's been too easy."

    Hazō nodded. With careful steps he inched forward and around the corner, holding his sword close to his body in preparation to attack or defend.

    Out of sight, dice clattered across wood.

    "Ha!" Noburi cried. "As you move around the corner, you fail to notice a small hidden door in the wall! A black-clad assassin leaps out and stabs you in the neck for eighty-seven damage, plus poison! You drop instantly and he drags your dead body back into the secret chamber. The rites will take six rounds and then you'll rise from the dead as another vengeful zombie-demon like the ones that burned Mist. Mari-sensei, you and the others hear a strangled gasp and then a clicking noise as the door closes. What do you—"

    "Hang on," Hazō said, "my Enhanced Sense: Tactile plus Telempathic Link with my air spirit familiar mean that I can detect all air movements within three squares of me. I would have known the instant that the hidden door opened—"

    "His sword had Elemental Invisibility," Noburi said quickly, eyes flicking down. "And...the cabinet was masked with Unnoticeability."

    Hazō frowned "That's a second level invocation. My forehead protector is imbued with Senses of the Kami, which makes me immune to any sense-blocking invocations under third level—"

    "Enhanced Unnoticeability."

    "But my Air Aura would have blocked twenty percent of the damage from physical attacks and then my Ki Cloak blocks sixty percent of what remains, as well as giving me a free Trip attack against people coming at me from behind. They both round up, so if he rolled eighty-seven damage then only twenty-seven should have actually reached me. That's not an instant kill so I should have gotten to use my Raiton Riposte."

    "Okay, fine, it was only twenty-seven but you've only got thirty Life, so twenty-seven counts as massive damage and—"

    "Yeah, but my Heritage of the Oni bloodline makes me immune to the massive damage rules and lets me regenerate eight points per round, so—"

    "Rocks fall, everyone dies!" Noburi cried, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

    "I said you should make him use a pregenerated character," Mari-sensei told him in amusement.

    Noburi glared at her. "More rocks fall!"

    o-o-o-o​

    The door to Jiraiya's office was open, so Hazō knocked and leaned in. "Sir?"

    Jiraiya looked up from the stack of scrollwork on his desk. "Hm? C'mon in, kid. Grab a seat and give me an excuse to stop staring at this stuff before my eyeballs fall out."

    Hazō settled into the visitor's chair, trying very hard not to show just how badly creeped out he was at the sense of the ANBU guard's presence behind him.

    Jiraiya looked past Hazō's shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Ocelot, be nice. For that matter, all of you wait outside."

    A no-doubt-purposeful whisper of sound signaled Ocelot's retreat into the hall. There was no sign of who else 'all' might have referred to.

    "Thank you, sir," Hazō said.

    Jiraiya shrugged. "Don't sweat it. Ocelot isn't fond of missing-nin and she's feeling a little conflicted about you guys. Don't worry, though; she's got the highest loyalty index of any ANBU agent in the past five years, so I'm not worried about her doing anything aside from maybe looming a little bit."

    Hazō digested that. "I see. Um, okay." He shook himself and took a breath to center. "I had a few things I thought you should know, sir." He pulled a sheaf of papers out of his beltpouch and nervously squared them up, only to pause when Jiraiya started laughing.

    "Sir?" Hazō asked nervously.

    The Sannin got himself under control and wiped his eyes. "Wow. Young kid, sitting there looking all nervous and telling me that he had a few things I should know? For a moment I was looking for blond hair, but then you called me 'sir'. Anyway, what was it?"

    "Um...okay." Hazō looked down at the first item on his stack. "First, is this room secure? Uh...I mean...I would assume it is, because you're the Leaf spymaster and good at your job, but I thought I should ask just to be sure because Mari-sensei has always taught us that lazy ninja are dead ninja and it's good to double check everything, but I didn't mean to suggest that you wouldn't have secured it because that could sound like I was criticizing you or calling you lazy, which really wasn't my intention—"

    Jiraiya was laughing again. "Breathe, Hazō. Breathe. Yes, the room is secure."

    "Right. Yes. Sorry sir." He looked down at the sheet again, giving himself another moment. "Um...so, I'm related to the Uchiha and I've got a one-in-thirty-two chance of my children having the Sharingan and I think they'll know that as soon as they look at me and I figured I should probably mention that."

    Jiraiya sat back, eyebrows going up. "Really? I knew that the Kurosawa were an offshoot of the Uchiha from way back, but I didn't know the part about occasionally throwing Sharingan. I'm assuming it doesn't breed true or the whole clan would have them by now?"

    "Yessir. I mean no, sir. I mean it doesn't breed true, sir."

    "Breathe, Hazō."

    "Yessir." Deep breath. Slow exhale. Jiraiya wasn't going to throw him in a killbox. Jiraiya was, or soon would be, his adoptive father. There's only one poppa and this ain't him! Hazō was safe here.

    "Thank you, Hazō. I'm glad you told me this, because it could have been an issue if I got blindsided by it. Are there any Sharingan kids alive right now that you know of?"

    "No, sir. There could be, but I was never part of the clan and momma never mentioned any. She said that the clan tries hard to keep them hidden, though."

    "Yes, but would they go pretty damn far for it?" Jiraiya asked, a sly grin on his face.

    Hazō blushed. "Sir—"

    Jiraiya waved him silent. "Sorry, sorry. I know this whole situation has to be stressful for you, and I shouldn't tease you. You're safe, I promise. I keep my deals and the deal I have with you guys is a good one. If anyone touches you I will literally rip his arms off and feed him to my Toads."

    Hazō blinked. "R-really?"

    Jiraiya nodded seriously. "Really. You lot are going to be my clan. No one touches my clan."

    Hazō digested that. No one outside of the team and his mother had ever stood up for him like that.

    "Oh," he said faintly.

    Jiraiya smiled and leaned across the desk to ruffle Hazō's hair. The desk was in the way and the Sannin wasn't really trying; Hazō could have dodged. He instead chose to sit still and accept the gesture.

    Jiraiya leaned back, still smiling, but his face got more serious and he raised a finger. "The only exception is that I can't protect you from the law. Don't hurt anyone, don't threaten anyone, don't steal anything. Things are still very much up in the air with the Councils. They aren't bad but they aren't good either."

    "Yes, sir." Hazō fiddled with his papers for a moment. "Um, I had some seal ideas that I thought you might want to know about...?" He held out the notes.

    Jiraiya blinked at the thick stack of papers. "That...is a lot of ideas."

    "Oh! It's actually in triplicate, sir. The first set is organized by type, the second is alphabetical, and the third is by how easy I think they would be to research. Um...I know you were saying that social-skill seals are impractical, but I had a few thoughts that I wanted to mention."

    Jiraiya took the stack and flipped through the first few pages. "A seal to create an intimidating aura?" He scratched his shoulder for a moment and a corona of black flames leaped out of his body, emitting barely audible screams of tortured realities and despairing souls instead of the warm crackling of normal fire. "I don't know how practical it would be," he said, ignoring the way Hazō had recoiled in his chair. "Still, pretty interesting idea. We should maybe work on it some time. Now, let's see what else you've got...."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Keiko?" Hazō asked carefully. "May I speak to you?"

    "Of course," Keiko said, shifting slightly on the couch so that she could face him when he settled into the chair beside her.

    "I wanted to talk to you about the offer the Nara made," he said. "I am concerned because I have noticed that you tend to significantly underestimate your own value, both as a person and as a ninja. I'm worried you will decide sacrificing yourself to an unwanted dynastic union is what's best for the team even though it makes you unhappy. You are very important to me and I would not want you to accept such a marriage or adoption unless you wanted it for yourself. At the same time I recognize that this might in fact be something you want. If it is, then I will support your decision as much as I possibly can. I will note, however, that it would make me very sad if you disappeared into the Nara clan compound and I never saw you again. If you do decide to join their clan I hope you will not be mewed up."

    For just a moment, Keiko smiled. "Thank you, Hazō. I have not yet made my decision, but I appreciate your concern.

    "I have considered the proposition carefully. There are advantages and disadvantages to joining the Nara clan, and the question of whether to be adopted or married is an interesting one. Among the advantages of joining the clan are that it would, as you point out, be tremendously advantageous to our team. The Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka clans are extremely powerful in Leaf. Between the three of them they control several percent of Leaf's economy, as well as the jōnin commander slot, most of the Logistics department, and a senior advisor to the Hokage himself." She paused, and an unholy light kindled behind her eyes. "Plus, they have that library."

    "Uh..." said Hazō. "Keiko?"

    She shook out of the daydream. "I have not yet made my decision. I will need more information—if I were to marry in, whom would they as my husband? What living arrangements would I be offered? What information would I be required to give up? I need to have a conversation with the elders of their clan."

    "I see," Hazō said. He paused, then slapped his thighs and stood up. "In that case, tomorrow morning we'll talk to Jiraiya about setting up a meeting."


    XP AWARD: 2

    (This update covered about 48 hours.)

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, April 12, 2017, at 12pm London time.




    Author's Notes:

    • You spoke to Jira about securing the residence. He said he was already looking into it but wasn't sure yet if he was going to be able to.
    • You did not specify giving him all the details of the Iron Nerve, so that didn't happen.
    • The idea of invisible ink seals got a raised eyebrow and a forward lean. He wants to set up some experiments as soon as he can get time.
    • The propulsion seals were interesting and he put them on the stack of things to investigate when there's time.
    • You talked with the team and prepared various speeches.
    • You read books.
    • You took precautions.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 119: Cue the Deer
  • Threadmarks

    • "I'm Minami Nikkō," the bouncy, chūnin-jacketed girl announced. "From now on, I'm your escort for any special visits you've got to make. Don't worry, if anything happens, I swear I'll defend you with my life!"

    Hazō exchanged glances with Keiko. "Is that likely to be necessary?"

    "Let's hope not," Minami said. "But Jiraiya says you're foreigners, and that there's a bunch of people who wouldn't mind if you met with unfortunate accidents, so better safe than sorry. Speaking of which, can you believe I'm getting orders from Jiraiya of the Three himself? I am so moving up in the world!"

    "Jiraiya is concerned for our safety," Keiko observed, "yet he did not see fit to assign us an ANBU protector. Unless it is possible for ANBU to act unmasked?"

    "No, I'm not ANBU. At least not yet! Now that I've got Jiraiya's attention, anything's possible!

    "But no, basically the big guy's figured having ANBU following you around is like a huge flashing sign saying, 'Hey, Hyūga bad guys, pay attention because these kids are important!'

    "Instead, you get me. I've been stuck with the ass-end of chūnin missions for a while, and anyone who knows me isn't going to get suspicious at me escorting a bunch of foreign dignitaries around. I'm pretty sure the Hyūga know who I am, so they won't give me a second glance. Not exactly flattering, I know, but hey, I'm rolling with it."

    It was far too early in the morning for anyone to have this much energy. "Um, Jiraiya said you'd be able to tell us about the Nara?"

    "Sure thing! I've got Nara friends, and I even spent a few years dating one. Let me tell you, when they say opposites attract? Well, so do fire and kindling.

    "But enough about me. You want to know about the Nara. OK, first things first, they're smart. I know, this is the cutting edge insight they pay me for, right? Well, you've got to understand what that means. It means they skip steps. You say A and B, they're already at F, and with a few more clues they'll be at Z when you've only got as far as thinking about K. The older ones tend to be patient, but the younger ones can get pretty condescending when you can't keep up. Sometimes it's better to pretend you're following along, and figure out what you've missed afterwards.

    "Oh, don't try to out-argue them unless you really know your stuff. They'll rip you to shreds easy as breathing. That can get hard if you just want to talk about your feelings, and they're busy spotting flaws in everything you say like it's a debating contest. But! They appreciate it when you're direct. That can be nice. No mind games. Or at least if there are mind games, I'm not bright enough to spot them. Maybe it'll be different for you.

    "What else? They're pretty chill. Try not to be too excitable at them—it puts them on edge. Yeah, I'm thinking you're starting to see why Shika and I burned out. That's not to say they don't have their own kind of excitable, but it's all up here," Minami gestured to her forehead, "and it means skipping even more steps than normal, so good luck keeping up.

    "They love facts. Don't be vague with them. They've got this instinct to nail stuff down, like every butterfly's got to be pinned to a board. No, that's harsh. Shika loved poetry, and that's plenty vague. Kept copying it out of the clan library for me. Too bad I didn't get any of it, I guess.

    "Oh, oh! You should know about the sign language. That tells you a lot about them. See, the Nara have their own clan sign language. Whenever two or more Nara are talking, their hands are always moving, both the speaker and the listener, like they've got two conversations going on at once. So here are a few examples Shika taught me."

    Minami raised her hands to chest level and extended the index finger of her left hand upwards. "If you do that while a Nara's talking, it means, 'Stop, you've just said something factually inaccurate'."

    She raised her middle finger as well. "This one's 'Stop, I have a useful fact to add.'"

    "But the left hand is for reason. If you speak with the right hand, that's emotion."

    She raised the index finger of her right hand. "That's 'Stop, what you said is distressing me and we need to deal with that before I can follow the rest of what you're saying.'"

    She raised her middle finger. "'Stop, you're being rude and don't want to be digging yourself in any deeper.'

    "Oh, the higher you raise your hands, the more important you're making your sign. Chest is lowest, eye level is highest. But there are exceptions."

    Minami pointed to her temple, rolling her left index finger backwards a few times. "'I'm confused. Start again.'" She reversed the direction. "'I see where this is going. Skip to the end.'

    "Then there are these," she made a few quick hand gestures. "I can't remember what they all mean, but they're things like, 'You're only saying that's true because you want to believe it', and 'Just because someone important says it doesn't mean it's right', and 'You're doubling down on a bad idea because you've already sunk so much effort into it'. There's also, 'A hidden enemy is watching, so keep talking as normal', which I think is brilliant.

    "Obviously, speakers have ones too. There's a whole bunch for things like, 'I'm seventy-five percent confident in what I'm saying right now', and 'I know this sounds dodgy, but it'll make sense once I'm done', and 'This is new information, so update your'... Actually, I can't remember what you're supposed to update, but I think it's important.

    "Did you follow all that?"

    "No."

    "Yes."

    Minami gave Hazō a sympathetic wink. "Don't worry, it's not like they'll expect you to speak their private language. There are only two signs it would be really useful for you to know."

    She put her hands together in a circle, fingertips touching, in front of her navel. "This one is 'I'm processing stuff, so don't disturb me.' They get real pissy if you interrupt them while they're doing that."

    Then she put her palms together, hands pointing upwards, in front of her heart. "'Please listen to me.' It's the most important sign in the language, or at least I think so.

    "It's what you use when someone's doing that processing thing and you think you've got something important enough to bother them with. But it's also what you do when you really, really need to be heard. That might be because a Nara's so into what they're saying that they've stopped paying attention to you. Or because they're getting so emotional that you can't get a word in edgeways. Or when you need them to listen, just listen, to what you're saying, because you have thoughts and feelings too.

    "Sorry," Minami said awkwardly. "Too personal."

    After a few seconds, she perked up. "Anyway, I've given you the dirt on the Nara, so it's your turn. They won't send me outside the Fire Country, so I've been dying to find out what's going on out there. Like, is it true that Mist kills all the kids that fail to graduate their ninja academy? Or that you'll look ten years younger if you bathe in the Hot Springs hot springs every day for a month? Or that there are killer fish the size of houses in the Hanguri Gulf? Or that Cloud has trained sky squid riders?"

    Minami looked at Keiko, who already seemed weary even though they hadn't been walking that long.

    "No. Maybe. Yes. Unlikely."

    The curt response did nothing to cool Minami's curiosity. "Wow, you know a lot. In that case, boy do I have more questions for you."

    Keiko shot Hazō a pleading look, but he wasn't going to leap in front of this particular kunai. No, he… he definitely owed her revenge for something, right? Yes, he was sure there had to be a reason why it was not only acceptable but morally right for him to abandon—er, allow karmic judgement to be meted out. He'd just be sidling out of Minami's line of sight now.

    -o-
    ​
    "Welcome to the home of the Nara Clan."

    The two women bowing to the group in eerie symmetry were likely branch family members—to the Mori, the quality of their kimonos would have been too fine for common retainers, but too plain for the main family.

    "I am Nara Mikako," the one on the left said. "Ah, please do not introduce yourselves out here. I know who you are."

    "Nara Shion," said the one on the right. She met Minami's gaze and her expression turned flat. "Minami," she said coldly.

    "Nara," Minami attempted to smile, but after a second the expression fell from her face like a hairpin dislodged by a gust of wind.

    "I'll have someone find you a place to wait," Shion said to Minami in a tone that suggested she felt no urgency about the task.

    "The master has requested to see you first," Mikako bowed again to Hazō. "If you would please follow me?"

    "As for yourself," Shion looked to Kei, "the master has suggested that you might enjoy a tour of the clan library while you wait?"

    Kei nodded so fast it hurt her neck.

    But her impatience as she followed Shion could not quite distract her from the other thoughts assailing her mind. Would this compound be her future home? It was not quite at Mori Genzō's level of design—nothing could be—but Kei knew the silver ratio when she saw it, and the mathematical precision that had gone into every angle of every building was unmistakable. Kei longed for an aerial view, and indeed, circumstances being what they were, it might not be long before she received one.

    The only exceptions to the flawless order were the plants. Set aside at various points were small gardens, and these had a palpable wildness about them—the trees and shrubs left to grow how they would, save for space cleared for the occasional bench or footpath. It confused her.

    She supposed she would have plenty of time to decode the principles behind this pattern when she was living here. It was only logical—the Nara would make invaluable allies for Jiraiya's fledgling clan, and sealing that alliance would be a far greater contribution Kei could make than merely serving them as a logistician or a front-line fighter, the two possibilities Leaf held in store for her. She only wished she knew what it would mean for her friends. Would she be permitted to see them freely as a Nara? Would there be restrictions placed on their interactions once she was privy to Nara secrets (assuming she were ever trusted with those)? It would… hurt her, to lose her first and only friends in exchange for the unknown.

    But perhaps marriage would be less onerous than adoption. Kei had always assumed that she would live and die alone. Unlike Ami, she had held far too little value for the clan to be the object of a political marriage. Nor could she envision a future in which she garnered attention from the opposite sex—or any sex, in fact. If she could not have the latter, it now transpired that she might at least have the former. Marrying into the clan would presumably give her some rights relating to her clan of origin (her clans of origin?), and from what she knew of the Nara, her husband would be intelligent if nothing else. Perhaps in time they could develop some form of friendship based around shared interests. It seemed improbable at first glance, but no more improbable than what she had found with the other missing-nin.

    As for her marital duties… Kei's mind flinched away from that thought. She had yet to find a man she considered sexually attractive, though in fairness the same could also be said of all but two women—one woman. Just the one.

    And for all she knew, the Nara might be understanding of the circumstances of political wives, and give her flexibility to take care of her own needs as long as she was discreet. Mari-sensei's books (which she would deny touching even under torture) implied that at least some clans did as much. Once again, of course, this was assuming she not only found someone she was attracted to, but that this person returned her feelings. No, it would be best to make her peace with a lifetime of extramarital celibacy now.

    Marriage was filled with unknowns. She did not know what rights her husband would have over her, nor the rest of the clan. But what if it took adoption to be fully accepted into the clan and given access to its secrets? It would be a terrible bargain to surrender her place to belong, only to find none on the other end because her commitment had been too half-hearted.

    Suddenly, Kei felt less like a guest and more like a prisoner being marched to her execution as the library complex loomed in the distance.

    -o-
    ​
    Nara Shikaku's office was not all that different to the Hokage's. Smaller, perhaps, and surprisingly enough, with fewer bookshelves. On the other hand, Shikaku's desk could have been a chakra apex predator based on its sheer size, with scrolls unfurled and overlapping in dizzying patterns across its massive breadth.

    Hazō cast his glance further around the room. He tried to read the spines of the books on the shelves, only to realise with a shock that they were completely blank. The other points of interest were the two decorations visible from this angle. A calligraphy scroll on Shikaku's left read "Courage to Face Oneself", while a painting on his right portrayed a middle-aged man in worn clothes leaning on a gnarled staff as he descended a mountain. Behind him on the left, a beautiful wooden shack receded into the distance, simple lines sketching out ivy and flowers wrapped around it. On the right, beyond the mountain, a cacophony of dots of bright colour evoked the lights of a city.

    Shikaku himself was a tall, lean man with a short black beard, a ponytail and a couple of shallow scars across his face. His voice when he greeted Hazō was warm.

    "Welcome, Kurosawa Hazō. I am Shikaku, for terrible sins committed in a past life sentenced to be head of the Nara Clan in this one."

    "It is a pleasure to meet you, sir," Hazō bowed, mindful of politeness as his top priority. Well, that and not making himself sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist. Or a creator of weapons of mass destruction to be killed before he could end the world. The usual diplomatic concerns.

    "While Jiraiya is in charge of this exceptional project, it is you who are the initiator and linchpin of it all. You have created a new paradigm of warfare. Tell me, how have you solved the chakra diffusion problem?"

    Chakra diffusion? The amount of diffusion when using chakra adhesion was trivial. Unless Hazō and Kagome-sensei had both overlooked something crucial, it couldn't be called a problem in the least. Hazō hated to start out the conversation by expressing ignorance, but he saw no other choice.

    "What do you mean?"

    "For the point defences," Shikaku explained as if it was obvious.

    Hazō wouldn't make himself look slow twice. He forced himself to think. What would you need point defences for with skywalkers? Against skywalkers? The Hyūga could detect them as easily as the normal kind, after which Leaf could just use its own skywalkers to engage. Assuming it was facing an enemy who had skywalkers to begin with. What could you do with skywalkers that another skywalking ninja couldn't counter?

    Oh.

    "You mean to defend against aerial bombardment."

    Shikaku nodded, and made some notes on a piece of paper in front of him. Oh, no. What could he be writing in response to that? Was he grading Hazō on how quickly he'd figured out what Shikaku was talking about?

    "We discarded the idea of static defences quite quickly," Shikaku said. "Skywalkers make it easy to generate levels of force beyond the power of any current technology to absorb. At least unless you have already revolutionised that field as well," he added wryly. "If you have, do let us know now so that my engineers can get some rest."

    Then active defences were the way to go. That made sense. If you couldn't shield against the bombs, you needed some way of catching them in mid-air, or better yet, preventing them from being dropped. How would you do it through chakra, and where did diffusion come in?

    Range. The reason you couldn't have super-long-range ninjutsu, or at least one of the reasons, was that chakra diffused as it travelled, like how light from a lantern could start out as a narrow beam but ended up illuminating a broad spot on the wall. You needed some special means of keeping it focused or bound together, and how could you do that across the incredible vertical distances skywalkers could achieve?

    "What about the skytowers? If you had a network of those in the air—"

    "The manpower requirement would be prohibitive," Shikaku cut him off. "But my concern is suicide bombers. That is why I'm asking about chakra diffusion. I take it your solution involves sealcrafting?"

    "I… I don't have one yet, sir." Hazō's focus had been offensive, had always been offensive. Weapons were what interested him. How far could you push the laws of sealcrafting? What power could you unleash from familiar tools if you were creative about it? The idea of ways to leash that power again was secondary at best. In many cases, Hazō doubted it could even be done.

    "Noted." Shikaku's tone was much colder. He made more notes on the paper.

    "Kurosawa, my great-uncle created the Perpetual Light Technique, used to blind opponents and keep them blinded, but as a corollary capable of keeping shadows banished from a certain area for as long as one kept feeding it chakra. Do you know what he did before teaching this technique to a single living soul?"

    "No, sir."

    "He spent a year devising a counter-technique that only the Nara could use, and then another testing it until he was sure he had accounted for every scenario in which a Nara could face Perpetual Light."

    Hazō suddenly felt very, very small.

    "I do not know if you are the first to invent a means of mass flight, Kurosawa. I only know that you are the first to make it available to an army. It dismays me that you have done so with no thought for the consequences."

    Except Hazō had thought about the consequences. He'd weaponised the skywalkers himself when concealing the Iron camp from Captain Zabuza.

    No, those weren't the consequences Shikaku meant, were they? When Nara Shikaku said "consequences", he was talking about the consequences of such a weapon being available. He was probably already thinking about not only the military, but the social and economic consequences Hazō couldn't begin to model, while Hazō was still delighting in his new-found ability to make things go boom.

    "Yes, sir," Hazō said quietly.

    "We will return to this another time. Now, explain to me your plan for unifying the shinobi and civilian worlds."

    What.

    Oh, right, Shikamaru. Of course he would have told his father about this strange, radical new idea he'd been introduced to. Hazō wished he'd prepared a speech. Then again, he was supposed to play it cool with the Nara, and Jiraiya had alerted him to the possibility that this topic would come up in some form. Hence Hazō was at least aware of the appropriate phrasing.

    "I believe that we should adapt ninja tools for civilian use, such as motion sensors to seal and unseal storage scrolls. We should also use seals as force multipliers to allow ninja to effectively aid civilians, such as by setting up skytowers for observation and protection. Granting civilians the full benefits of civilisation, and protecting them from the many adverse forces that reduce their numbers, will ultimately benefit ninja, as it has done in Leaf but on a far greater scale. A bigger population means more new ninja and greater resource generation. A more educated population means faster technological advancement. The resulting feedback loop would uplift human society and unlock new possibilities for its development."

    Shikaku looked thoughtful. "I see now why you have been working to provoke the war to end all wars."

    Hazō had not realised he'd been doing any such thing. More pressingly, what were the implications of Shikaku believing it?

    "Although I'm surprised that your Mori ally went along with it." Shikaku gave half a second's pause. "No, never mind, it's obvious."

    Shikaku leaned forward. "Tell me, how much of it was truly a coincidence?"

    "Could you be more specific?" Hazō reluctantly asked.

    "You removed Mist from Noodle and Iron, delaying the war. Then you gave them Hot Springs, instantly polarising the continent and confining the Mist-centred faction to fighting on a single front. You positioned yourself to gain Jiraiya's attention, then earned his trust despite eliminating one of his agents. You scouted Leaf and engaged with its key clans, then forced Jiraiya to ignore his own plans for you and allow you to leave. Now, having set the timing for the war, you return at the last moment with the skywalkers, ensuring Leaf's victory and an elite position for yourselves within the victorious regime. And your very next step? To negotiate with the logistics experts whose support would take you further towards your ultimate objective than any other clan's.

    "There are two competing master narratives here. One is of a directionless handful of missing-nin blundering from disaster to disaster, barely kept alive by a combination of compatible talents, occasional strokes of genius, and sheer luck. The other is of a team that has manipulated the entire world in a masterful display of strategy, the like of which has not been seen since the days of the Second Hokage, in the name of an impossible goal that suddenly seems all but in the palm of their hand.

    "Which is the truth, Kurosawa?"

    If Hazō had learned one thing in his time as Inoue Mari's victim-friend-apprentice, it was the power of making people guess to what extent you were being serious.

    He gave his best enigmatic smile. "Wouldn't you have more fun working that out for yourself… sir?"

    Shikaku returned it. "Noted."

    His hand went back to the piece of paper. What had he noted? What kind of valuable information was Shikaku writing down that Hazō had accidentally let slip? Had Hazō just gained points or lost them? Should he have denied some or all of Shikaku's statements?
    ​
    Hazō had to distract Shikaku, quickly.

    "Sir, about Keiko…"

    "That is between her and the Nara Clan," Shikaku said dismissively. "She can tell you as much of it as she wishes afterwards. And I wouldn't concern yourself with the other matter. You will find it a dead end to you."

    What other matter? No, Hazō couldn't keep asking for explanations. He couldn't bear the thought of watching Shikaku make another note regarding Hazō's limited intelligence.

    "Why all this, Kurosawa? What motivates you to uplift human society?" Shikaku asked with a deceptive casualness.

    Hazō thought carefully about his answer. What would Nara Shikaku want to hear? What would he understand? What would make him care? Jiraiya had offered him guesses as to Shikaku's ultimate motivations, but only guesses.

    "Because I believe human civilisation is dying," Hazō finally said. "Endless warfare among the ninja, combined with the constant attrition of the civilian population," and scorch squads, "is an existential risk. My solution is to eliminate both of those problems by leveraging technology, the only area in which an individual without Kage-level power can make a world-scale difference."

    Shikaku gave an ironic smile. "I think you will find, Kurosawa, that shepherding humanity away from self-destruction requires much more subtlety than you have displayed so far. Still, we all dream of simple solutions to complex problems when we are young."

    Tilting his head slightly, Shikaku studied Hazō's face carefully, then made more notes on the piece of paper in front of him. Hazō could only guess at what kind of mark his answer had earned him.

    Abruptly, Shikaku held the piece of paper up so Hazō could see it.

    There was no writing. Just a detailed sketch of Hazō's face.

    "The leader of the Nara would hardly need to take written notes," Shikaku said as if that explained anything.

    Shikaku stood up, indicating that the meeting was at an end.

    "Nothing is as it seems, Kurosawa. You will find your life in Hidden Leaf much easier, and perhaps longer, if you always keep this truth at the forefront of your mind."

    -o-​

    "Nara Shikaku," the man introduced himself. "Pleased to meet you, Mori Keiko.

    "How did you find the library?"

    "A manipulation as effective as it was unsubtle," Kei told him. The Nara were supposed to appreciate directness, and given her track record with one-on-one interviews with authority figures, she would become Mizukage before she could expect to outmanoeuvre a clan head on his home ground.

    The library had indeed made her head spin. They had books on real mathematics, not the children's toys available on shop shelves. And volumes IV and V of Unagawa's Metaphysics! She had loved the first three, and been in despair when she was told the rest had disappeared with the destruction of the Unagawa Clan. (Well, now she knew where they had disappeared to.)

    Shikaku laughed.

    "You have questions. Please, proceed."

    Directness, Kei reminded herself.

    "Please give me the facts," she said in her most polite voice.

    "How much do you know about clan adoption and intermarriage practices in general?"

    "Very little," Kei confessed. Political marriage had never been relevant to her, and clan adoption doubly so.

    "First, commonalities," Shikaku said. "In each case, you will be deemed a full member of the Nara Clan, with all the rights and responsibilities pertaining thereto. You will be expected to volunteer all information you possess on the Mori Clan, although under different rationales. You will be revealing less to us than you may think."

    "Coins and shadows?" Kei asked.

    "Indeed," Shikaku showed no surprise. "There will be no restrictions on your interactions outside the clan, so long as you protect its secrets and do not harm its interests or reputation. You will be required to marry a Nara husband and produce children in due course."

    Kei could feel her heart racing, and her field of view began to constrict. She had painstakingly avoided thinking about that aspect of her marital duties. Her, a mother? No child could possibly deserve such suffering, nor would she enjoy having it visited upon her. It would drastically curtail her freedom for years, and for what? So that she could generously pass on to her children all of the mistakes made by her parents with her, and then add a bountiful helping of her own failures?

    Her panic must have shown in her face.

    "The Nara make use of collective child-rearing," Shikaku said. "It distributes the burdens, exposes children to a wide range of perspectives and fosters broad clan-level emotional ties. If you find yourself unable or unwilling to participate in raising your children, arrangements can be made."

    In other words, she could fail as a mother by abandoning her children from the start, instead of failing them by raising them as miniature copies of her own disaster. Then again, if the Nara merely wanted to make biological use of her for her bloodline, and themselves take full responsibility for the consequences, that was far from the worst of the possible scenarios.

    Shikaku looked at her face again, then made some notes on a piece of paper in front of him.

    "What are you writing?" she asked, because of course it beggared belief that Leaf's counterpart to Mori Biwako should need to use a memory aid during an interview.

    Shikaku gave a sudden smile, and held the paper up. There was a loose oval-ish outline on it that could have been a sketch of a face.

    "An exercise to improve the visual part of my mind," he explained. "In ancient times, it was the Yamanaka who were the verbal thinkers, we believe, and Nara the visual. I trust you see the implications?"

    Kei did. Shikaku's phrasing suggested two interesting things. First, he referred to these modes of thinking as if they were roles, with one clan taking each. That suggested that the Akimichi also had some distinctive means of thinking that was neither verbal nor visual, which was fascinating in itself, but not as fascinating as the idea that the three clans had somehow developed complementary ways of perceiving the world, and that those ways stayed complementary even if the roles changed around.

    Second, the changes themselves. It made sense for the Nara who had first developed the famous shadow ninjutsu to be visual thinkers (she was not yet sure what this term actually meant, but could infer by association). If their descendants had switched from visual to verbal, then that change paralleled the clan's own change of specialisation from ninjutsu to the management of what was primarily verbal information. What kind of mechanism was involved, and in which direction did it exert causal influence?

    "The Yamanaka have researched the matter somewhat," Shikaku said, ironically as if reading her mind, "and I have been following their work with interest. Nara Clan membership opens a number of such doors to Yamanaka and Akimichi resources."

    Kei's imagination was captured by the possibilities of investigating the information-processing structure of the mind, but she forced herself back to considering her immediate future. At least she felt calmer after that diversion.

    "What restrictions does marriage impose here, and what rights does the husband hold over the wife?"

    In one of those books of Mari-sensei's that Kei had never so much as touched, a noble-blooded blonde kunoichi lived in conditions of virtual enslavement to her abusive husband, a lisping deviant with twisted yet oddly intriguing tastes involving snake-themed whips and chains. She was ultimately rescued by a gallant ANBU captain named Toad, a heroic masked man with a mysterious past and an improbable anatomy.

    "Rights over the wife?" Shikaku repeated, voice puzzled. "The Nara are a Noble Clan, not a cattle market. A marriage is a pragmatic goal-oriented partnership between two compatible individuals. Why would we institutionalise power imbalances within partnerships that the clan has already approved?"

    Kei gathered her courage. "What about extramarital… relations?"

    Shikaku's expression mercifully did not change.

    "The clan does not micromanage its clansmen's relationships unless invited to do so. As I said before, protect the clan's secrets, respect its interests and do not bring its name into disrepute. Within those conditions, you may do as you will.

    "Oh, and also no unsanctioned pregnancies. If you require education on this subject, be sure to request it in advance."

    Kei could feel herself blushing furiously.

    "Finally, a training regimen has been devised for you to catch you up to the other Nara genin, and this will also apply irrespective of your route into the clan."

    The phrasing implied that they were about to move onto a different subject. Kei's prayers were being granted.

    "Now, the particulars," Shikaku added a few more lines to his sketch. "You may consider adoption a fast track within the clan. You would be treated, where practical, equally to any born Nara. The clan would work with you to choose you a Nara husband, honouring your preferences as much as is practical. And all of your past clan affiliations would be revoked, meaning any information you possess on the Mori, or on Jiraiya's new clan, would not be protected by clan secrecy laws."

    That meant she would be expected to share any information gained during her travels with the other missing-nin, potentially giving the Nara an advantage in their relationship with them. It also meant that Mari-sensei and the others would no longer be able to share their secrets with her, erecting a permanent barrier between them.

    "If you marry into the clan, you will formally hold the same rights, but in practice you will be forced to work harder to prove your trustworthiness, and this will delay your advancement, as well as your acceptance by the less welcoming elements.

    "Legally you will be deemed to belong to both Jiraiya's clan and the Nara Clan. This is a stressful position to occupy, and failure will lead to dire consequences. Since you will be adopted into Jiraiya's clan first, your Mori affiliation will be revoked at that stage."

    A stressful position to occupy? Of course. Dual clan membership would entail protecting each clan's secrets from the other. Otherwise a wife marrying into another clan would be free to reveal any of her original clan's secrets to it. It seemed like a ridiculous setup to Kei for any number of reasons, but given the number of political wives in the world, she supposed it must work somehow. Perhaps the Nara provided training on the subject.

    "Your husband will be selected for you by the Nara Clan, and you will be expected to marry him after an engagement period. The Nara Clan reserves the right to alter the engagement period, in consultation with Jiraiya, and to unilaterally select a different husband for you at any time before the wedding."

    Kei wondered how long the engagement period would be. She supposed the Nara would wait for Jiraiya's clan to prove its worth as an ally. In other words, depending on her team's performance—especially Hazō's performance—she might ultimately marry anyone from a lowly branch family member to Shikamaru himself. Kei found that she did not particularly care which.

    "In the event of a clash between the two clans, the Nara will have prior claim to your loyalties."

    The sticking point. Kei already knew, of course. She wondered how such a thing might be enforced, but then again, the Nara could call upon the Yamanaka at any time. Kei could not imagine being forced to raise arms against Mari-sensei, or Hazō, or Noburi. (Jiraiya she could take or leave.)

    In that event, suicide might be the most rational option. It was, of course, not a new idea, nor necessarily an unappealing one. It would be a waste of Mari-sensei's tremendous effort, and in some uncertain way a betrayal of her bonds with her friends (who had invested so much in her), but that would no longer matter if the alternative was any degree of responsibility for their deaths.

    "Leaf has never seen open warfare between its clans," Shikaku noted, "though at times it has come close. And in any case, the Nara leave conflict resolution through armed combat to the incompetent."

    That was… moderately reassuring. Kei was certain that the Nara could destroy another clan without ever moulding a drop of chakra. After all, the Mori had done as much at the Mizukage's direction, strangling the Kobayakawa Clan's liquidity until Kobayakawa Tatsuya committed ritual suicide before his creditors and the Mizukage's Office was "forced" to seize the clan's assets and take control of Mist's leather trade. And mere ruin was nothing compared to what Mari-sensei and the team had already overcome.

    "I believe I understand what the Nara Clan expects of me," Kei said neutrally. "What benefits can you offer me in return?"

    "A place to belong," Shikaku said simply. Those exact words. And his eyes lit up with something that had been absent for this entire conversation.

    "You will find nowhere else in Leaf that can accept every facet of who you are. Even Jiraiya, a man of formidable intellect and enviable insight, decided long ago to set aside his hunger to understand in favour of 'doing what must be done'. Kurosawa's unpolished brilliance might reawaken that in him, or it might not, but still your clan leader will never be what you and I are, with our very blood calling for us to impose conceptual structure upon the world.

    "The Nara are not the Mori. We have many disagreements, some small, some great. But with the Mori lost to you, we are the only people who share your experiences, from the excitement that can only be found in constellations of tiny details to the despair when your own limited social skills block you from telling an outsider something that could change the way they see the world. We alone have the tools you need to hone your mind into the flawless instrument that it can become, and to prevent it from destroying itself with its merciless power of self-analysis. Also the world's finest library."

    Kei couldn't help snerking at that.

    "Behind all of the intimidating terms and conditions I have described, the Nara are waiting to welcome you as a long-lost sister. We are all outsiders in a world that does not share or even understand our values, but if you join us, we can face it together—as a family."

    It was not at all what Kei had been expecting. The arch-intellectual of the Nara Clan was being… passionate, emotive, though he now slumped back in his seat as if something had been taken out of him. After a lecture that could have been delivered by a lawyer, it was disorienting.

    It was also effective. It was a kind of acceptance she had never been offered. The Mori had understood and nourished her mind on a practical level, but the people around her had cared little for her feelings as an individual, with Ami as a sole exception who could only spare so much time for Kei given her role as the clan's rising star.

    The Academy was best not spoken of.

    Meanwhile, Mari-sensei, for all her brilliance, simply did not think the way Kei thought. Her analysis was limited to people, at most to military tactics, and while she excelled in that former field in a way Kei never could, she also had limited curiosity outside her chosen fields. Kagome was impossibly loyal, but his mind and Kei's were separated by a gap she could not begin to conceptualise, never mind bridge. Noburi was an opportunity she kept missing, might continue to miss for the rest of her life, because despite being as much her friend as any of them, he kept a distance from her, and she did not know how to take the first step. Akane… there was little to say about Akane. They had learned to tolerate each other, and that in itself was sufficient achievement.

    Hazō might have been the exception. They had found something, courtesy of his Clear Communication Technique, common perspectives on social interaction and information management that might have been a pathway to greater mutual understanding. And Hazō's hunger for knowledge could not be denied, though he had a creativity that was as far beyond her reach as the sun. Perhaps in another place, at another time, they could have found greater closeness, if Kei were not so pathetic at seizing opportunities, so abrasive in response to his occasional tactless overtures, or so worthless next to the grand designs that increasingly consumed Hazō's attention.

    The Nara were offering her something she had never had, and if there was a spider's web of strings attached, at least the strings were visible and presented up front. Nor was there anything new in the idea that she could best serve her team by leaving it, though conversely it was revolutionary that she might do so by adding positive value rather than removing negative.

    There was too much to weigh here. Did she stand to gain as much as Shikaku seemed to believe? How significant, in the long run, were the losses she would suffer in return? How much of this decision was for the others' sake, and how much for her own? What kind of life in Jiraiya's new clan would she be sacrificing? Did it even matter, given that the Nara had presented their condition as absolute?

    Her head was spinning again, and this time she was not relishing the experience. She was too young, too Mori, too… too herself to make such an important decision. She was guaranteed to make some catastrophic error that would damn her life and the lives of those who had unwisely trusted in her.

    Courage to Face Oneself, said the scroll. Inspiring as an exhortation, but in terms of practical steps to follow, no help at all.

    An unexpected movement snapped Kei out of her daze. Shikaku had slid the completed sketch across the table.

    Kei looked down at her roughly outlined face, set in an expression of fierce determination she was certain she had not displayed at any point during this conversation.

    And seeing in her other self's eyes the resolve she couldn't find in reality, Kei knew that any amount of rational analysis would only be justification for a choice already made.

    She looked Nara Shikaku in the eye and told him what she wanted to do.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    There had been a dreadful error made somewhere along the line. It was the only possible explanation. Hazō couldn't bear to imagine the implications if what was happening right now had been a deliberate arrangement.

    "So why exactly can't I take 'aromatherapy' as a medical specialisation?"

    "I'm not saying you can't, sir, it's just that there aren't any flowers in the Lava Pits of Screaming Death."

    "Nonsense," Yamanaka Inoichi snorted. "Look at these beautiful expanses of sunlit volcanic soil here, here and here. With the plants that grow in this kind of climate, give us a few hours before we set off, and we'll have weeks' worth of medicine. Then we can spend our healing potion budget on a Master Level spellbook!"

    They'd been sent the wrong Ino-Shika-Chō.

    Granted, Hazō hadn't actually used first names in the invitation, and it hadn't been implausible for the three clan heads to be having dinner together that night, since Jiraiya had just given them much to discuss. But how had it come to this?

    However it had come about, it was a test, and he knew it was a test, and they knew he knew it was a test, but it wasn't like he could tell those three to go away after they turned up. Jiraiya had joined the group in a desperate effort to prevent the whole thing from ending in disaster, had whispered, "Just act natural", which was the least helpful advice ever, and was now playing a chibi rogue with more than a little bemusement. And Keiko was nowhere to be found, and Shikaku had brushed off his questions with some vague reply about a tour of the facilities.

    And worst of all, Hazō had been given a pre-generated character.

    Being an entertainer was a fine and traditional shinobi disguise, but the entertainer class was non-viable in every imaginable way. Benihime the Flower Princess's greatest power was singing enka ballads to inspire her allies for marginal combat bonuses. She had the weapons proficiency of a dry frog and the hit points of a victim of Spontaneous Chakra Combustion Disease. In other words, Noburi's revenge was in full effect.

    Next to him, Akimichi Chōza was still struggling with the basic concepts. "So you're saying… I have to make decisions as if I'm really my character really having an adventure, but I also have to make sure to play tactically as if it's a wargame, or we'll all lose?"

    "Look at it like an infiltration mission," Mari-sensei came to the rescue. "You've got to stay completely in character at all times, but you've got to advance your real objective at the same time."

    "Aah," comprehension dawned. "But what if I want to play a sorcerer who's secretly evil and planning to betray the party?"

    Hazō was not going to facepalm at the head of the Akimichi Clan.

    And then there was Nara Shikaku.

    "Allow me to clarify," Shikaku addressed Noburi, consulting the overland map. "The entrance to the Lava Pits of Screaming Death is here."

    "Y-Yes, sir."

    "And the Sapphire River runs past here."

    "That's right."

    "And it's a short walk to the Pure Forest here."

    "Yes."

    Shikaku clapped his hands. "Then we build a channel from here to here. What's the next adventure?"

    "I don't understand," Noburi said warily.

    Hazō tried to read Shikaku's face (and got nothing), and went to look at the map.

    "He's proposing using the wood to redirect the river into the mouth of the Pits. It's quite clever, actually."

    Hazō bit his tongue. He'd just described the work of Leaf's master strategist as "quite clever".

    But a pause would only make things worse. "The water flows in. Where it hits the lava, it generates huge clouds of steam which travel upwards, cooking and choking everything in their path. Anything that survives that will drown in the flood as the water fills up the pits. And the pressure of the torrent makes sure nothing can get to the exit. So we get rid of the threat and claim the bounty with no risk to our lives."

    The look on Noburi's face made Hazō warm to Shikaku a little.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    "Bwahaha!" Chōza bellowed. "You fools, I have been worshipping the Demon Lord all along, and now you have fallen into my trap!"

    "You're betraying us, Chōza?" Inoichi demanded, aghast. "How is this possible?"

    Chōza shrugged, and in his out-of-character voice said, "It says Chaotic Evil on my character sheet right here."

    "But I made a point of not looking at your character sheet!"

    "I know," Chōza grinned. "You're getting predictable, Inoichi."

    "Wakahisa," Shikaku said calmly, "please read out the third of the notes I passed you earlier."

    "When we make camp for the night," Noburi said, "I wait for Randragakhar to answer a call of nature, and slip a Rune of Controlled Explosion into his backpack."

    "I detonate the rune," Shikaku said. "Randragakhar takes 5d6 damage, and all of the loose scrolls in his possession are incinerated."

    "You know," Jiraiya said casually, "I've been aiming at Shikaku's character for five rounds now. I'm pretty sure that qualifies me for an automatic critical hit, and my arrows are covered with Mandragora's Blood.

    "Gentlemen, make me your best offers."​
    ​
    "Don't mind me," Hazō added despondently. "I'll just be over here fending off the demons with my Flower Song of Peace."​

    -o-
    ​
    You have earned 4 XP.
    ​
    -o-​

    It's impossible to tell what conclusions the heads of Leaf's three most powerful clans drew from the gaming session, but they at least acted cordial, and you notice that they kept their questions and comments confined to the game context. Jiraiya speculates that they were taking advantage of the opportunity to get the measure of your characters (no pun intended) without giving you a chance to prepare suitable public faces. Mari adds that they've established a sense of familiarity which they can exploit in later negotiations, and which they'd find hard to do via formal meetings. Or, she says, they could just have been messing with you because they can. It's what she would do if she were a couple of steps removed from ruling Leaf, and hey, isn't that exactly what she's going to be in a few weeks' time?

    Semi-formal clothes have been commissioned for you after Mari gave Jiraiya's staff your measurements. Properly formal clothes are a problem since you don't have a clan crest to put on them.

    Jiraiya has given you A Beginner's Guide to Sealing. Kagome has ruled the book "good literature", which is to say it is 90% warnings of things not to do, with lurid descriptions of sealing accidents for those who ignore the rules. 5% of the rest is far below your level, but the remaining 5% consists of essential principles that Kagome somehow failed to teach you (or possibly ones that are only taught in Leaf). Jiraiya has also given you a very old catalogue of beginner seals (stemming from his own training days), but you have yet to go through them. In response to being asked why the catalogue appears to be thickly covered in dust and tea stains, Jiraiya responds only that true sealwork is timeless.

    Leaf has no semaphore system. Jiraiya is open to the idea of developing one, though he notes that you've already upgraded Leaf's human messenger system so much that it could be overkill, at least in the short term.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    What do you do?

    Voting closes on Saturday 15th​ of April, 9 am New York Time.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 120: The Truth
  • Threadmarks

    • "So, how'd it go?" Jiraiya asked, neatly flicking three gyoza onto his plate.

    Hazō eyed the gyoza with great reluctance; Mari-sensei had made them. After the Great Congee Massacre of yesteryear she had been quietly removed from the cooking rotation despite her protests and promises to improve. He wasn't sure which was worse, having to taste the food she'd made or having to worry about Jiraiya killing them all after tasting the food she'd made.

    "Hot damn, these are amazing!" Jiraiya said, wolfing down the gyoza on his plate and immediately snagging half a dozen more. "All this and a brilliant chef too? I was terribly clever to convince you to marry me."

    Hazō blinked.

    Suspicion blossoming in his hindbrain, he bit into the gyoza. The wrapper was crisp and slightly sweet. The inside was minced...lamb?...rich and savory, with just the right amount of spices and finely chopped vegetables mixed in.

    Hazō chewed slowly, savoring the delicate flavors while looking daggers at Mari-sensei.

    "These are surprisingly good, sensei," Keiko said calmly. There was just a hint of emphasis on the 'surprisingly'; for Keiko it was the equivalent of a shouted accusation.

    "Way better than that congee," Kagome-sensei said, finishing his first gyoza and reaching out to snag a handful more from the nearest of the three heaping bowls. Mari-sensei rapped his knuckles with the back of her chopsticks, all without missing a bite. Kagome-sensei guiltily snatched his hand back and used his chopsticks to, carefully and decorously, serve himself four more gyoza. Which he promptly shoved into his face all at once.

    "Tha' congee ftuf tafted like af," Kagome said, chewing with his mouth open and great relish. "Thif if much be'r."

    "Thank you," Mari-sensei said quietly, her eyes on the delicate teacup that she was filling. She handed it to Jiraiya with a graceful gesture and smiled when he took it. The 'humble wife' tilt of her head was given the lie by the tiny and very mischievous smile on her lips. "It is a wife's duty to please her husband, so I'm glad you all like my humble efforts in the kitchen."

    Jiraiya snorted. "Let me guess," he asked Hazō. "The congee was so horrible that she never had to cook again?"

    "She did not."

    Jiraiya chuckled and served himself some of the fishcakes. "So, how'd the meeting with Shikaku go?"

    Hazō quickly related the conversation in as much detail as he could recall, the rest of the team paying close attention except for Kagome-sensei who was busily munching his way through some deep-fried fruit slices.

    "Overall, it wasn't a disaster," Hazō said with a sigh. "It wasn't great, though. I think he does want to ally with us but he's trying to make us be the junior partners."

    "Oh?" Jiraiya asked, his carefully neutral tone not hiding a flicker of amusement that made Hazō both nervous and irritated. "Why do you think so?"

    "He was very manipulative," Hazō said. "He opened the conversation with a prepared question that required a few steps of inference to unwind, so I was on the back foot right away. The whole conversation was like that—he was always 'leading' by several steps while I struggled to catch up. I didn't realize until later that he was doing it deliberately, that he had prepared a script and was forcing me to follow it."

    "Interesting," Jiraiya said, sampling a tiny pork bun. "Anything else?"

    "The thing where he chewed me out for not finding a counter to skywalkers was just pure status-building," Hazō said bitterly. "So his grandfather spent two years perfecting this counter before doing anything? Bully for him, but he was safe in a village the whole time. We were literally on the run for our lives, and we did very close to the best we could by coming to Leaf at the first reasonable opportunity. Of course, he moved on before I could think of any of that.

    "Then he put me off guard with that complex 'mastermind' theory that painted every action we took since being forced to flee from Mist as part of some larger plot aimed at putting us in a prime position in Leaf at an opportune time." He snorted. "I mean, sure, maybe I could see how that might sound convincing when the alternative is that we just blundered into everything, but I really doubt that anyone could seriously entertain the idea after meeting us in person, so I'm not sure what he was getting at."

    Hazō poked at his gyoza guiltily for a moment before forcing himself to continue. "Um...speaking of blundering, I blundered a bit by not being forthcoming there. I shouldn't have given him that bit about 'wouldn't you rather figure it out for yourself', I should have just owned up to the fact that it was mostly luck and frantic improvising."

    Jiraiya drained his teacup; no sooner had he set it down than it was full again, courtesy of an attentive Mari-sensei. He blinked and looked at his future wife supiciously for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head.

    "Is that it?" he asked Hazō.

    Hazō thought about it. "Yes...no, one more. A small thing, but important: when I asked about Keiko, Mr. Nara stonewalled me, then followed up with a quip about how I shouldn't 'concern himself with the other matter', without ever saying what the other matter was. I hadn't intended to ask another question, so I think this was a generic play by Mr. Nara to maintain the 'leader and follower' structure. It's like that peak/end rule that Mari-sensei told me about—Mr. Nara wanted the very end of the conversation to be me feeling slow and stupid." He sighed. "I find his methods less than tasteful and I'm worried that if he really wanted an alliance with our clan he would have treated me with a little more respect. All that said, though, he wasn't wrong about any of it."

    "Okay, so, is that it?"

    "Yes, sir."

    Jiraiya and Mari-sensei exchanged glances before bursting out in tandem laughter. Hazō glared resentfully at both of them.

    "Hazō, Shikaku wasn't making fun of you or setting you up or trying to manipulate you," Jiraiya said kindly. "That was actually a sign of respect, and a signal that he really does want to be allies with Clan Jiraiya."

    Mari-sensei cleared her throat without looking up from the tea she was pouring for herself.

    Jiraiya gave her a sour glance. "I already told you, woman, we are not calling it Clan Inaiya."

    "'Inaiya'?" Noburi asked carefully.

    "Yeah," Jiraiya said grumpily. "Why should she get top billing, huh? I'm the freaking Toad Sage."

    "Yes, dear," Mari-sensei said, patting his arm.

    "We are not."

    "Of course not, dear. You've made that very clear."

    Noburi gave a strangled cough and quickly hid his face behind a bowl of miso.

    Jiraiya gave Mari-sensei one more glare before turning back to Hazō. "Kid, you have to understand, Shikaku really is that smart. He treated you the way he treats his clan members: expecting that you could keep up and giving honest and blunt criticism at what he perceived as a failure—namely, the fact that you hadn't even thought about counters. Sure, he would have preferred that you actually have a counter, but I doubt he would have criticized you for not having one given the circumstances. The problem was that you hadn't thought about it at all.

    "As to him being mean or whatever, he wasn't. Him starting off by jumping way ahead was his way of giving you the benefit of the doubt—saying that he was assuming you were smart enough to keep up. The fact that he kept doing it means that you showed you were smart enough, even if it sometimes took you a second. The insult would have been if he had switched up and started being less cryptic. You can always tell when Shikaku thinks someone is an idiot because he spells everything out in excruciating detail, draws all the dots between every point, and is punctiliously polite."

    "'Punctiliously'?" Mari-sensei asked, eyebrow upraised.

    "What?" Jiraiya said. "I'm an author, I'm allowed to use big words."

    Mari-sensei snorted. "'Author'."

    "I am! My books circulate through every country in the Elemental Nations!"

    "Yes, dear."

    Jiraiya glared sourly at her. "You know, it used to be that husbands were allowed to beat their wives," he grumbled.

    "Not in front of the children, dear. Ask me in private."

    "Gaah!" cried the Legendary And Very Exasperated Sannin, throwing his hands in the air.

    "On a different subject," Hazō interjected quickly, "I had some ideas about skywalkers that I wanted to ask you, sir."

    "Absolutely! Yes, please, ask your questions! This is a great time to ask your questions!"

    "Well, if we're going to keep the other Villages from reverse-engineering the skywalker seals, I think we'll want a layered defense, sir. First, we should come up with some distractions so that it's not obvious it's a seal at all. We could pretend that it's a jutsu, the way Mari-sensei did when we first met—"

    "Yes!" Jiraiya said, stabbing his chopsticks at Hazō in emphasis. A wicked light shone in his eyes. "Yes, we are absolutely doing that. Oh, wow, I cannot wait to see the expression on the faces of those stuck up Hyūga pricks when we tell them that the seals are multi-triggered and they need to say 'Pretty Pink Pony no Jutsu!' before activating them with chakra adhesion. I am going to have to take some muscle relaxants before that meeting if I want to keep a straight face."

    "Not too relaxed, please," Mari-sensei purred.

    "Stop distracting me, woman!"

    "So," Hazō said desperately, "there are some other distractions we could use, like putting wings on our sandals. And I could draw the seals in invisible ink."

    "Hm," Jiraiya said, pursing his lips. "The invisible ink thing still gives me the heebie-jeebies, but given how your bloodline works it might be possible. I'm in meetings most of tomorrow but I think I can get away for a couple hours in the afternoon. Maybe we could give it a try then. I'd like to see what you've got."

    Hazō struggled to maintain a calm and adult demeanor instead of fanboying. "Well, maybe we could also put wire up over Konoha and use Five-Seal Barriers to turn it into a protective net? It would take a lot of wire, though."

    Jiraiya considered that for a moment. "Seems impractical, just based on the amount of wire needed. Still, we could put nets of wire and FSBs over some of the critical buildings and infrastructure. That would help a lot."

    "Okay, suppose we modified the Poor Man's Yellow Flash so that it seals things on a timer, instead of unsealing them? If we saw an incoming projectile we could throw a crapton of those in the path of whatever it is and hope that it gets sealed away."

    Jiraiya snorted. "Not a chance. Let me count the ways that that idea fails. First, if there's an incoming attack then we've already screwed up. Second, there's not going to be just one attack—'go big or go home' is pretty much the watchword if you're attacking a position fortified by enemy ninja. We'd be seeing hundreds of rocks or whatever falling out of the sky. Third, it's not practical to set the timer so that it goes off at exactly the right moment to seal away a falling object. Fourth, that would only protect against physical attacks, not gas or liquids or ninjutsu, and it would require a huge number of seals in order to have a chance. Not an efficient use of resources." He paused. "Did you come up with the idea of sealing things on a time delay yourself, or have you seen that idea in the field?"

    "I thought of it myself, sir," Hazō said. "Why?"

    "It's a good thought. Not original, but a good thought." He shrugged and knocked back his sake. "There's a lot of seals out there, and a lot of warfighting systems built around them. You haven't had the opportunity to learn what's already been done so you're reinventing the wheel a lot. You are inventing it, though. It's impressive."

    Keiko shot Noburi a significant look; Noburi nodded back and rolled his eyes in what he probably thought was a discreet way.

    "Something you'd like to share, Noburi, Keiko?" Mari-sensei asked.

    Noburi startled guiltily. "No, sensei."

    "Keiko?"

    "Noburi and I were discussing the fact that all parents have a favorite child," Keiko said calmly. "I bet him that Hazō would be Jiraiya's."

    "I didn't take the bet," Noburi muttered. "I mean, duh."

    "Hey! I don't have favorites!"

    Patpatpat. "Of course you don't, dear."

    "I don't!"

    "I know, dear." Patpatpat.

    "Gaah!"

    "On another subject," Hazō said, desperately trying to think about pink chakra rabbits so that he wouldn't have to think about this conversation, "Keiko, would you be comfortable telling us about your conversation with Mr. Nara? You definitely don't have to if you'd rather not. I don't want to press you."

    "I have no objection," she said. "I had intended to bring the information before the group in order to seek your input." She took a thoughtful sip of her tea. "My experience of the conversation was similar to Hazō's—Mr. Nara moved very quickly and frequently jumped ahead in the conversation without filling in all the gaps. My reaction to it, however, was quite different from Hazō's; I did not feel that Mr. Nara was disrespecting me and, in fact, I found the conversation quite...relaxing? Stimulating? Positive, in any case.

    "Which is not to say that the Nara were not manipulative. Even before I met with Mr. Nara, the clan attempted to manipulate me by exposing me to their library." She gave a tiny and very ironic smile. "It was an extremely effective manipulation."

    Jiraiya scratched his forehead so that his face was momentarily hidden. Ninja-sharp ears allowed Hazō to hear the muttered, "Oh gods, another one." Keiko's ears must have been similarly sharp, because for just a moment her smile flicked slightly wider.

    "We discussed two options for me joining the clan," she continued. "Adoption or marriage. I was assured that in both cases I would be considered a full clan member. While that is a reassuring theory, I find myself concerned about how true it would be in practice."

    The awkward pause that followed was broken when Mari-sensei smiled sweetly at Jiraiya and said, "That was a question, dearest. I know it can be hard to tell with her, but it was."

    "Huh? Oh. Well, as far as I've seen, yes, they treat native-borns the same as married-ins," he said. "Obviously, I'm not privy to what goes on behind clan doors, but I can speak to what I've seen on the outside. There are typically multiple exogamous marriages per clan per generation—the rate of birth defects was too high before that became the standard practice. I've never noticed any distinction in the rate at which born-Nara and married-in-Nara have been given significant missions or positions of responsibility. I've seen some Nara talk down to others or generally dislike them, but I don't recall that being correlated with marriage—every family has people who dislike each other."

    "Interesting," Keiko said, nodding thoughtfully. "I would also be expected to volunteer all information I have on the Mori. I was assured that I would be revealing less than I think and, based on the evidence, I suspect that is true even after I adjust for the assertion itself."

    Hazō frowned. She expected that she would be revealing less information than she expected, even after downgrading her expectation of how much information she would be revealing because she had been told that she would be revealing less information than she expected? Shouldn't that cause her to downgrade her expectation indefinitely until she expected to be revealing nothing? But then why would they be asking unless she would be revealing something? Which meant she would need to move her estimate up, but—

    He flipped another trio of gyoza into the gently sizzling wok (they weren't as good cold) and focused with desperate intensity on pink chakra rabbits.

    "What about kids?" Mari-sensei asked carefully. "I'm expecting that was a condition."

    Keiko blushed to the roots of her hair. "I would be expected to have children," she mumbled. "Not immediately, though. And, um, extramarital relations are not prohibited." Somehow the blush got even deeper. "Also, husbands have no special rights over their wives."

    Jiraiya frowned. "Well of course not. Why would they?"

    Mari-sensei smiled sweetly at him and patted his arm. "I'll tell you when you're older, dear."

    "Cut it out!"

    "As you command, dear."

    "Gaah!"

    "I am not willing to be adopted into the clan," Keiko said, carefully ignoring the byplay. "Doing so would require severing past affiliations, meaning that the secrets of...our clan would be unprotected, thereby placing a barrier between myself and the rest of you." She hesitated, then continued in a shy and hesitant voice, "I would not like that."

    Mari-sensei smiled warmly. "I would not like that either, Keiko," she said. "What about marriage, though? Would you still be considered a member of Clan Inouya?"

    "We are not calling it that."

    "Yes, dear."

    "Gaah!"

    "I would," Keiko said. "And since I would maintain my membership in, um, this clan, I would be able to keep our secrets."

    Mari-sensei nodded. "Good." Pause. "Did he mention contraception and unwanted pregnancies?"

    "Yes."


    Mari-sensei laughed. "We can talk about that later, in private," she said kindly.

    In repayment for abandoning Keiko to her karmic fate with Minami earlier, Hazō jumped to the rescue. "Sir, I wanted to ask you about socializing," he said. "Last time we were here we got on very well with Team Sarutobi and reasonably well with Team Gai. Would it be possible for us to see them again?" He licked his lips. "Also...when will we officially be Leaf-nin?"

    "Anxious to get past Daddy Akane's rules, huh?" Jiraiya said with a knowing smirk.

    "Um...."

    "The Clan Council needs to meet and debate the question," Jiraiya said, letting him off the hook. "Of course, debates in the Clan Council are usually just for show—all the issues have been hashed out in advance over drinks and the votes have already been determined. The meetings are only pointful when something comes up that's urgent enough to be discussed immediately but not so urgent that we can't take time to discuss it. However—"

    "The next Clan Council meeting is in a few days, isn't it?" Hazō asked eagerly.

    "—however, that's just to make the decision. The process itself can't happen until the war breaks out and we can present it as a stratagem by a village suddenly forced to defend itself against a diabolical aggressor. We have to minimise the reputational impact of bloodline poaching, after all."

    "Oh."

    Jiraiya smiled sadly. "If it's any comfort, I don't think it's going to be long."

    "Oh."

    "Yeah." Pause. "Pass the fishcakes, would you?"

    o-o-o-o​

    "What is it? What do you want?" Kagome asked nervously, settling into his chair but sitting only on the very edge. "Why did you want to meet in the shield room? Is Leaf about to attack? I knew we couldn't trust them! We should—"

    "Actually, no," Mari-sensei said. "There's no attack. We want to prevent one if we can. First rule of battle, though: make sure you know what's out there."

    Hazō frowned. "Sensei, I thought the first rule of battle was 'Don't ever let them know where you are'."

    She shrugged. "There are other schools of thought. Anyway, for right now the first rule of battle is to know what's out there. Kagome, you once mentioned that you spent several years in the cryptography and analysis department. You know more about what's out there in the world than I do—than any of us do—and I've been dumb to not ask you about it." She pushed over a plate of cookies and a trio of small cakes that she had taken out of the oven ten miutes before the meeting. "Also, would you try some of this and let me know what you think? I'm not sure I got the balance right on the ginger and the chocolate."

    Kagome-sensei had been about to launch into a panicked diatribe but the offer of sweets seemed to derail him. He blinked a few times, then reached out and grabbed one of the cakes. He sniffed at it suspiciously, nibbled, then chomped out a giant bite.

    "'s good," he mumbled, crumbs spraying everywhere as he reached for another cake.

    "I'm glad," Mari-sensei said, setting her smile to 'very light stun.' "So, you were going to tell us about some of the things you learned about the world back in the day. I'm talking about strategic issues. Overall things that we should watch out for." She pushed over a tall glass of milk and another plate, this one loaded with bite-sized bits of chocolate.

    Kagome gulped down the last of the cake and took a long pull on the milk. "Well," he said, wiping off the milk mustache, "obviously it all starts with the Sage of Six Paths and his brother.

    "The Sage was an idiot and his brother was a schmuck. Both stupidly powerful, though. Anyway, just like today everyone was always fighting everyone else, but the Sage wanted them to be all kissy-face and peaceful." He shrugged. "Granted, his brother did too. They just had different approaches. The brother—I don't know his name, so I just call him Dummy. Dummy thought the easiest way to get everyone to stop fighting and be peaceful would be to conquer them and make them be peaceful. The Sage thought people would be nice to each other if they could communicate better, so he gave everyone chakra. Hah!" He waved his glass around, slopping some of the milk on his hand. "All that did was let 'em kill each other better.

    "Well, Dummy looked at what the Sage had done and probably thwapped him for being so stupid. He wasn't much smarter though, because he promptly went off and created the Ten-Tailed Beast to help him conquer everyone. The Beast was more powerful than Dummy was and didn't want to be a glorified attack dog, so it broke loose and started rampaging around. The Sage and Dummy worked together to tear the Beast apart into nine Tailed Beasts, because of course it's better to have nine of the things when you couldn't control one. It kinda worked, though. The Nine weren't as powerful as the Ten Tails, so they had to do what the Sage and Dummy said. They were more powerful than any other ninja, though, so they could be used to blow things up real well." He sighed regretfully, clearly imagining what it would be like to have firepower of that magnitude available. "So, yeah, they blew things up real well. More importantly, though, they could take people over. Go inside them, override their chakra system and forcibly manipulate their muscles. Must have been horrible, being walked around like a puppet."

    He chomped down another cookie, talking while chewing. "That's why Sand is so big on puppets, you know. One of the things has been running the place for decades and it's got a sick sense of humor." He grimaced. "Not sure which one, though. They like to claim that they have the One-Tail under control, but the reports make that look a little dodgy. Whatever, there's definitely one there."

    "Do you know where any of the others are?" Mari-sensei asked. "Maybe that would narrow it down."

    Kagome shrugged. "The Nine-Tails is here in Leaf, the Eight is in Cloud, not sure where the Seven is, there's no believable record of the Six in the last fifty years, the Five is in Bear—just one of the reasons the place is so dangerous—the Four has been lost for ages...well, for a while there I thought it was what was mind-controlling all those ninja from Wind, but that can't be it. The things can still only be in one place at a time." He shook his head, thinning brown hair swaying. "Probably just air demons. They like to blow in through your ears and sit in your brain, whispering for you to kill everyone. Anyway, never trust anyone from Wind. And don't drink the beer in Sand, either. It's laced with mind-control drugs. Make sure to bring your own water if you go to Sand, because they keep all the drinkable water for their own ninja, make everyone else drink the beer.

    "Where was I? Oh, right, the Three-Tails. He's wearing your old boss Yagura like a skinsuit." Chomp, chomp, gulp, another cookie vanished. "I never believed the reports that the Two was in Demon. A little too on the nose, you know? Still, it's possible. I saw a report on it, in the same stack as the one about the guy who first saw a sky squid. Squids are real, so maybe the Two-Tails really is in Demon." He raised a finger for emphasis. "Oh, speaking of the sky squids, always remember to wear your forehead protectors when we're up in the clouds. That's what the things were for, originally—keeps the squids' tentacles from boring in through your forehead to eat your brain. I mean, yeah, they can go up your...um...your...." He made vague gestures downwards.

    "Your rear end?" Mari-sensei said delicately.

    "Yeah, that. Still, they prefer to go in through the head. They aren't too bright, so if your forehead protector blocks the first attack they'll try a few more times before going up through your, uh, your rear end. Gives you time to hit 'em back. Except you should really hit 'em back before they hit you. Much better that way.

    "Anyway, Dummy is busy conquering everything, and he's getting it done. Things are calming down, less fighting. Lots of executions though...well, I think. The records weren't entirely clear. Might be that the records are distorted. Still, I think they're right. Three hundred thousand kills per year."

    Hazō blinked. "Three hundred thousand? That's the entire population of Fire!"

    "Duh," Kagome said. "Why do you think there's so few people these days? Used to be lots more people. Kajillions of them. No chakra beasts, either. Those came later, when people had just gotten chakra and they were messing around with the original version of the Transformation technique." He shook his head sadly and tossed a handful of chocolate bits into his mouth. "Poor idiots. Didn't realize that they would need hands to reverse the henge, and that was back before henge was patched so it would break if you hit it hard enough. Anyway, people aren't fighting but they're still dying a lot so the Sage tells Dummy to cut it out.

    "Dummy doesn't like that, so the two of them start fighting. They've been like that for a thousand years—fight for a while, work together, fight some more. Not sure which is worse. Whenever they're fighting, lots of people die. When they work together lots of people end up with their brains twisted around."

    "Twisted around how?" Mari-sensei asked. "You mean they use genjutsu on people?"

    Kagome shook his head. "Nah, don't need to. Easier just to kill them and bring 'em back."

    Hazō blinked. "Excuse me?"

    Kagome looked at him like he was stupid. "Kill them and bring them back. What's so hard about that? It's why 'Sarutobi Hiruzen'"—he made the air quotes with his fingers—"has been able to make Leaf such a nice place all these years."

    For a moment Hazō felt like he was back in the conversation with Mr. Nara, except the chain of logic that he was supposed to follow was far more twisty.

    "You lost me there," Mari-sensei said, shaking her head ruefully. "Sorry to be so dumb, but can you unpack that a little?"

    "You're not dumb! Don't call yourself dumb!"

    "Okay, okay," she said, raising her hands placatingly. "Still, I didn't follow what you were saying about the Sage and Dummy killing people and bringing them back, and how that relates to Leaf."

    "Oh," Kagome said, chomping on some more chocolate. "Yeah, that. So, I can't be completely sure, but it looks like the whole reason that the Sage and Dummy have managed to live for a thousand years is because they can move lifeforce around between bodies. I originally thought they were just immortal, but that's nonsense. If you know where to look the pattern is pretty clear: every few decades they suck some poor kids dry to make themselves young again, then they change their faces so no one figures out what happened. Of course, they're still using the old version of henge, the one that doesn't break if you punch them, so you only know what happens if you correlate times when someone drops out of sight for a few days and then comes back with slightly different behavior. They like to choose people without a lot of living family or close friends.

    "Anyway, once you know how to move lifeforce around between bodies it's easy to kill someone by sucking them dry. Then you cut their brain out, fix it, and shove some lifeforce back into the body to bring them back. Their brain was fixed so from then on they're loyal to whichever brother brought them back."

    Kagome frowned uncertainly. "Can't tell if it's both of them that do it or only the Sage. He was the first mednin, of course—that's how he was able to give chakra to everyone. I'm guessing he shared the lifeforce technique with Dummy before they started fighting. So, maybe Dummy can't control people. Maybe it's only the Sage. Not sure.

    "Anyway, the whole Warring Clans Period must have really ticked off the Sage. He'd been trying for centuries to get everyone to be peaceful and they still insist on fighting. He tried giving them chakra so they were all connected, but they still kept fighting. Dummy tried conquering the world and keeping people peaceful through force, but that didn't work very well either. Then they both tried preaching, and that didn't work at all. During the Warring Clans Period everything was too broken up—no substantial alliances, no nations that lasted longer than it takes to spit, nothing for people to cohere around. So, they come up with a new plan.

    "Took them a couple centuries to get everything set up. With the Sage's mednin skills they were able to encode special ninjutsu into people's bloodlines. He created the major ones like the Hyūga, the Uchiha, and the Senju. Some of the minor ones are from him, some are offshoots of the ones he created." He waved casually towards Hazō.

    "The bloodlines made those clans powerful enough that other clans started either joining them or becoming client families in exchange for protection. The fighting slowed down a little just because now people are in large enough groups that there's some surplus labor, meaning that they can make things and grow food instead of having to raid. And also so that there's more guards available which makes it more dangerous to stage a raid in the first place.

    "Well, this is all looking pretty good, so about a hundred years ago they decide to step things up. The Sage was calling himself 'Senju Hashirama' and Dummy was calling himself 'Uchiha Madara'. They created this whole story about how they hated each other and fought all the time. Then, gasp!"—he clapped his hands to his face, mouth wide in pretend surprise—"suddenly they're friends! And they're going to found a village!"

    "So, they create Leaf. That's a big enough power base that other people have to club up too in order to defend themselves, so the other Villages are founded. There's still fighting going on but it's not nearly as bad.

    "They run Leaf for a while and then 'Uchiha Madara' 'dies'. Of course, he really went off to run Rain until the Sage could fix him, so—"

    "Wait, what?" Mari-sensei said, leaning forward abruptly. "What about Rain?"

    "Oh, yeah, that's Dummy's latest venture," Kagome said. "Of course the Sage and Dummy didn't stop experimenting with mednin skills after creating the bloodlines, and they've been working on improving themselves. Dummy created this technique, the Shadow Clone—"

    "I thought Dummy was being Uchiha Madara?" Hazō said, frowning. "It was the second Hokage who invented the Shadow Clone. Senju Tobirama."

    Kagome snorted derisively. "Sure, that's what they let on. Nah. The Sage is a medic, not a jutsu hacker. Dummy created all the techniques, the Sage stuck them into people's blood. They didn't want it to seem like 'Senju Tobirama' was a medic, though, so Dummy invented a bunch of techniques—the Shadow Clone, the Flying Thunder God, the Poison Vomit—but the Sage, who was being 'Tobirama' at the time, took credit for them. Likewise the Sage kept splicing new powers into both of them, which is why 'Madara's cheating eyeballs were famous for doing so many different things.

    "Anyway, my best guess is that the Sage was trying to encode the Shadow Clone jutsu into Dummy's bloodline and he made a mistake, tangled the jutsu up with the lifeforce-stealing jutsu that was already there. Dummy couldn't control the technique properly, so everyone he touched had their chakra ripped out of them and reformed into a clone. The clone isn't stable; it explodes after a few minutes and the chakra dissipates into the environment." He frowned. "No idea what happens to the original bodies, though. Maybe they disintegrate? Maybe there's just a lot of unmarked graves around. Anyway, the problem is that these weren't regular clones, so each of the clones had the same kill-with-a-touch thing going on.

    "Now, this next part I'm not too sure about, but it's the only thing that makes any sense. All the lifeforce in the people who are getting blown up is tied in with their chakra, and the chakra doesn't want to stay in one place after being formed into a clone and then exploded. That means Dummy can't absorb it, which is a problem because if he can't absorb lifeforce then he's going to age and die. But the Sage can't touch him to fix the problem without having all the lifeforce sucked out of him, so there's no way to fix Dummy. And, of course, all of that chakra is building up around him, causing more chakra beasts and screwed up weather patterns and whatever.

    "So, Dummy runs off to Rain—which at the time was a rathole—where there aren't too many people for him to blow up. He's been there ever since, and the rain is full of his chakra.

    "That all happened later, though. At first they had founded Leaf and things were going great. Clans were condensing into Villages, society was being less fractured, standard of living was increasing. Things had gone from constant war to constant skirmishing. Then that thing with Rock happened where the Tsuchikage got eaten."

    Kagome paused to nibble some more chocolate. The nibbling turned into munching which led to happily chomping on one of the cakes Mari-sensei had baked.

    "You were saying something about the Tsuchikage getting eaten?" Mari-sensei prodded.

    "Hm? Oh, right." He finished the handful of cake he'd been working on and gulped down some more milk. "You ever wonder why Rock is so isolationist? Place is a hellhole, you'd think they'd want as much trade as they can get. Or just to move elsewhere. Anyway, it's simple: they did too much mining. The report I saw said 'Too deep we delved there, and woke the nameless fear.'" He snorted. "S'why you shouldn't let ninja write poetry. Their reports get pretentious. Anyway, looks like the Tsuchikage's been taken over by some kind of chakra beast...based on the 'too deep' I'm guessing it was a psychic chakra rockworm. Been moving from Tsuchikage to Tsuchikage ever since.

    "Well, the brothers saw that and it must have given them an idea, because that's when they founded Whirlpool."

    "I thought they were controlling Leaf?" Hazō said. "Why did they need to found Whirlpool?"

    Kagome rolled his eyes. "The Sage was a mednin and Dummy was a technique hacker," he said, as if that were the most obvious thing ever. "Neither of them knew squat about sealing except that it was dangerous. They gathered up a few sealmasters, put them together a long way away from Leaf, and told them to have at it. That was Whirlpool—a big R&D station.

    "Well, the Whirlpool people went at it and they were really successful. Learned a lot about sealing. Then the brothers got involved. It was an idea based off the Tsuchikage incident, sort of an amalgam of Dummy's 'conquer everything and then kill anyone who disagrees' approach and the Sage's 'connect everyone so they be nice and make kissyface' approach. They combined the sealing expertise of Whirlpool, the Sage's medical skills, and the mind-control techniques that Dummy had evolved for his stinking cheating eyeball bloodline, put it all together and created the lupchanzen. Given the Sage's desire to connect people I'm guessing that the lupchanzen were supposed to let people feel each other's pain or something. What they actually got was a half-animal, half-plant thing that meat-puppeted you around and followed the orders of its creator. Not what they were looking for, but still the perfect tool for someone who wants to prevent war and isn't real concerned about morality anymore because they're a thousand years old and the people around them just look like violent children now.

    "Too bad the word got out before things were ready. When the other nations heard about the lupchanzen the first thing they did was crap themselves. Second thing was come wreck Whirlpool with big stompy-clompy boots. Whirlpool did...whatever they did...and vanished, but some of the lupchanzen escaped. People don't talk about them much because they don't want anyone trying to reverse engineer them, but the information is out there if you know where to look. Ever notice how all Kage hats have those veil bits to protect the ears? Lupchanzen safety 101!

    "Anyway, now you've got a bunch of lupchanzen wandering around with no orders and no creator that they can ask for orders. The records are pretty thin, but it looks like they split into factions. There's one faction that wants to get back in touch with their creators. They keep recruiting sealmasters, and they disguise what they're doing by creating that stupid myth about 'Watchers'. Pfah." He paused to turn up his lip and glare at the door as though Jiraiya might saunter through it momentarily. "Stupid Jiraiya-stinker and his stupid stinking ideas. Secret conspiracy of sealmasters? Nonsense! Too hard to work together in groups bigger than two or three. Soon enough someone chainfires a bunch of seals and some bullying idiot gets ripped in half in a way that is absolutely an accident.

    "Where was I? Oh, right. So, one faction of the lupchanzen conspiracy is trying to get back in touch with Whirlpool. Another just wants to kill everyone who had anything to do with hurting their creators." He nodded approval. "Sensible. Someone hurts your team, you squish 'em. Don't want to get caught in the middle, though."

    Hazō and Mari-sensei sat back in shock, digesting what they had heard. Kagome-sensei sampled another cake.

    "Ooh, baked apple filling!" he said, taking another giant bite.


    XP AWARD: 10

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, April 19, 2017, at 12pm London time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 121: Revelations Unending
  • Threadmarks

    • Kagome-sensei smiled the beatific smile of an elder whose superior wisdom had finally been recognised by his wayward children—or possibly of someone savouring particularly good cake after months of field cooking, it was hard to tell.

    The rest of the team were less sanguine.

    "Kagome-sensei," Hazō said anxiously, "this has serious implications. I need to know more."

    "And I need more cake," Kagome-sensei retorted.

    Mari-sensei obliged.

    Truthfully, Hazō wished he had some way to communicate with her subtly, because she'd be much better at asking the obvious question without alarming Kagome-sensei. But given that the man was still right in front of them, he could see no way of doing so.

    Hazō braced himself and plunged onwards, into the depths of horror. "How exactly do you know all this, Kagome-sensei? You mentioned access to ancient records, didn't you? What are they, and how far back do they date?"

    Kagome-sensei slammed the piece of cake he was holding back down onto the plate.

    "Don't ask that question! Never ask that question!

    "Never," he repeated more slowly, "much less in a place you've only got Jiraiya-stinker's word is secure. Do you want Leaf's secret police ripping the knowledge out of your mind so they can track down and destroy every piece of evidence that can expose their lies?

    "Some of it's passed down by word of mouth from sealmaster to sealmaster. Some of it comes from deeply sealed crypto records. Some of it comes from books and scrolls that would be better off never seeing the light of day. And some of it's just plain common sense when you know what to look for. Truth is, I shouldn't even be saying some of this stuff out loud, especially in Leaf, but you need to know."

    "And the dating?"

    Kagome-sensei flinched. "A threat you managed to escape by the skin of your teeth. Don't let them draw you back in, or there'll be no saving you this time."

    Mari-sensei snorted.

    "Oh, wait, you mean the records. There's no clear answer. The further back you go, the more you have to put the pieces together yourself. It's lucky I know what to look for. Being a sealmaster's all about spotting these patterns that the secret rulers of the world don't want anyone to see."

    Hazō nodded. "Right. And those patterns include things like Whirlpool revenants? Could you tell us more about those?"

    Kagome-sensei shuddered and went to pick up his cake. He spent a few seconds staring at the squashed lump he found on his plate, then passed it wordlessly to Mari-sensei for replacement.

    "Well, the Sage wasn't exactly going to let all that Whirlpool knowledge go to waste, was he? Instead, he decided to take advantage of the lupchanzen's amazing memories. He took some of the older ones, stuck them in kids who were too young to have proper memories of their own, and gambled on them turning into bad copies of the people the lupchanzen remembered. Didn't work out too well, obviously—the kids grew up half-crazy at best, bits of forbidden knowledge and memories that weren't theirs floating around inside them, and lupchanzen doing things to their brains that even lupchanzen weren't designed to do. Some of them escaped. Others killed themselves. The rest are still in Leaf, serving in Leaf's secret police alongside other products of failed experiments."

    "What exactly happened in Whirlpool?" Hazō asked. "How did the information about their research get leaked, and why didn't the Sage use all his power to protect them afterwards?"

    "Isn't it obvious?" Kagome-sensei asked. "It was because of Hidden Depths. They had a good deal going with Whirlpool—drowned anyone who got too close to Whirlpool's offshore research facilities, the ones too dangerous to keep in Whirlpool proper, and in return the village gave them all these handy seals to make underwater life easier. Only that was before Depths found out about the lupchanzen."

    "How did they find out?"

    "Haven't you noticed the pattern yet?" Kagome-sensei demanded incredulously. "The Sage and Dummy are really crap at keeping their secret weapons under control. It was only going to be a matter of time before some lupchanz decided to make a break for it, especially with their powers, and where was it going to go except in the water?

    "Obviously, Hidden Depths could see the writing on the wall. So they had their summoner tell the Kraken Clan, and the Kraken Clan leaked the info to some of the big village summons, and next thing you know, Whirlpool wakes up to an army on their doorstep."

    "Surely the Sage could have just flattened the army?"

    Kagome-sensei shook his head. "The Sage is the 'nice' brother, remember? He's not going to reveal himself and make a huge show of force that'll turn all the other villages against him, just to protect an experiment that may or may not work out. No, he wrote it off as more evidence that sealmasters were unreliable and moved on. Mind you, we all assume that it was Whirlpool who took out all those soldiers, but it's funny how that army disappearing was what both started the war and made sure Leaf had a huge advantage in it."

    "And what happened to the lupchanzen?" Hazō asked. "How did some of them end up working for the villages that destroyed their creators? Shouldn't they all have flocked to Leaf, on their own or because the Sage reeled them back in?"

    "The experiments weren't finished, remember?" Kagome-sensei gave Hazō what he couldn't help thinking of as a very Nara look. "The lupchanzen weren't all as loyal as they were meant to be. And besides, even the Sage isn't going to have an easy time tracking down lupchanzen. You remember what they are, right?"

    "What about some of the other dangers?" an uncomfortable Hazō decided to shift the subject. "You've mentioned gaki before, haven't you? And damnbeasts?"

    "Good memory," Kagome-sensei nodded approvingly. "The gaki are what happens when some young idiot sealmaster decides that they can perfectly well reverse-engineer their own summoning scroll instead of listening to their elders. Oops, instead of a gate to the Summon Realm you've got a gate to Hell. Suddenly, you've got gaki flooding in everywhere, because gaki are hunger spirits and the human world is full of tasty souls for them to eat. And that was lucky for us. At least the gate led to one of the other paths, and not, say, Out."

    "'Out'?" Mari-sensei asked. "Out where?"

    "Not out where," Hazō said firmly before Kagome-sensei could answer. "Just Out. And you don't talk about what's on the other end, because there are some things that, when you start paying attention to them, they start paying attention to you."

    "So let's talk about gaki!" Kagome-sensei screeched at the top of his voice. "Fascinating things, gaki. Much more interesting than any old forbidden dimensions anyone might be wondering about. See, after a bunch of people got devoured, the sealmasters managed to seal the gate, but of course some bright sparks decided to keep a few gaki around, because having something that can eat souls is a great way to make sure people die when they are killed, if you know what I mean. Nobody knows the danger of immortals better than the Sage."

    "Kagome-sensei, does the existence of gaki prove that souls exist too?"

    Kagome-sensei shrugged. "The gaki seem to think so, but then again they're not all that bright. Me, I don't know about any seals that interact with souls, so I don't really care. Anyway, that's gaki. The damnbeasts… well, they're not really called damnbeasts. That's a stupid name. But bad things happen to people who go around using the real one. All I know is that they're smarter than gaki, and gaki are scared shitless of them, and so is everyone who knows even a little about them. So naturally Leaf made a deal with them to keep the gaki under control in exchange for keeping them well-fed."

    "Leaf really are the bad guys here," Hazō noted.

    "Nah, they just have the most resources," Kagome-sensei said. "It's not like Cloud or Mist don't have enough skeletons in their closets—I mean, Mist is run by a Tailed Beast—but if I got into those, we'd be here all week."

    "What about the Tailed Beast Breeding Programme?" Hazō asked. "Only Leaf has one of those, right?"

    "Had," Kagome-sensei said. "After Dummy managed to split the Ten-Tails into nine weapons he could control more easily, he decided to try doing the same thing again, only now with human hosts involved. That was half the point of the lupchanzen project—make Tailed Beasts that a human can control, then make a tool to let you control the human. But of course Dummy screwed it up. Got the Fourth Hokage killed in the process, in a very messy and public way. The Sage was able to cover up exactly what happened, but it sure put a crimp in his plans to replace the Fourth now his Hiruzen persona was getting old."

    "You said earlier that the gaki were an accident from summoning scroll research," Hazō said. "What do you know about the actual Summon Realm? Why did the Sage make it, and why aren't you allowed to use seals there?"

    "You're not allowed to use seals there?" Kagome asked. "Huh. Did not know that. Makes perfect sense, of course. Dummy made the prison ninjutsu-proof, but they both knew jack about sealing, so they had to make sure nobody could use it to try to escape."

    "The Summon Realm is a prison? A prison for whom?"

    "The other sages, of course," Kagome-sensei explained matter-of-factly.

    "Couldn't risk somebody figuring out how to unmake chakra, or making a stronger weapon than the Ten-Tails, or just plain beating the Sage and Dummy through superior firepower. So our boys struck first. Forced their rivals to use the old Transformation Technique to turn into chakra beasts, then stuck them in an artificial reality where nobody could find them and save them. Except since they knew what they were doing in advance, they let the sages become superior chakra beasts instead of mindless animals, as a sort of final mercy."

    "Why didn't he just kill them?" Mari-sensei asked. "You don't take prisoners unless there's something you want out of them."

    "Because he was even more of a bleeding heart then. And some of them had been his friends, back in the day. Might have even helped him invent chakra. I mean, does something that world-changing sound like one or two people's work to you?

    "So the Sage let them live out their lives as chakra beasts, and then went to their kids and said, 'Hey, you guys want time out for good behaviour? Just sign these contracts and I'll make it happen.' And boom! Another immortal superweapon for the Sage. Not as powerful as the Tailed Beasts, but oh so much more flexible and obedient."

    "Then why doesn't Leaf possess all the summoning scrolls?"

    "Remember how the Sage and Dummy kept fighting? They each gave the scrolls they had to their proxies. The scrolls ended up getting passed around over and over as some clans beat others, and eventually the diplomatic ties in both realms got so snarled up that the Sage couldn't be bothered tracking down all the scrolls and subduing all the summons again, and gave it up as a failed experiment like the Tailed Beasts."

    Hazō nodded. "Can we backtrack a little? Do you know what chakra is? What was the world like before it existed?"

    "Chakra is a parasite," Kagome-sensei said. "A single completely interconnected artificial intelligence, using living things as hosts to grow and reproduce, and smart enough to do absolutely anything, except it's got no initiative whatsoever.

    "The Sage thought he could piggyback off its intelligence to make the chakra in one person talk to the chakra in another, make them understand each other on a gut level. But of course he screwed it up. It didn't occur to him that connecting everyone wasn't enough. Sending and receiving are active processes, and he'd made chakra passive.

    "Ninjutsu was supposed to solve that. You create a language to give chakra orders, and then you order it to tell everyone what everyone else is feeling. But Dummy couldn't hack it, and frankly he wasn't that interested, because he'd just been handed the ultimate weapon. Why bother trying to make people understand each other, with no guarantee that it'll even change how they behave, when you've just learned how to set people on fire with your brain?

    "As for the world before chakra, it's a mystery. I'd bet my left kidney—no, make that Jiraiya's left kidney—that the Sage deliberately destroyed all the records he could. Wouldn't want someone using ancient knowledge to reverse-engineer what he did. All I know is they spent a lot of time fighting, and if the Sage and Dummy are anything to go by, they had way better education than we do.

    "I'm running out of cake."

    "Just a couple more questions, Kagome-sensei. If the Sage and Dummy didn't know anything about sealcrafting, then where did it come from? Who were the first masters?"

    "Good question," Kagome-sensei said seriously. "I was going to wait to tell you once you'd graduated from your apprenticeship, but now you already know too much, so it's a moot point. See, the Sage had kids—two brothers who decided they didn't fancy living in a world where Daddy was absolute ruler for ever and ever. They were never going to beat the Sage and Dummy at their own game, so they came up with something else—something that anyone could use if they were smart enough, without having ancient lore coming out of their ears or making themselves into a chakra powerhouse."

    Kagome-sensei's voice took on a ritual cadence. "A power earned not by birth but by dedication. A power that grows stronger with every wielder and every generation. A power founded on truth, to defy those who would keep the truth from us."

    "Sealcrafting," Hazō breathed.

    "Sealcrafting," Kagome-sensei said proudly. "The Sage managed to erase their names from history, but he couldn't wipe out sealcrafting, and after a few close calls with cornered sealmasters and undefined behaviour, he stopped trying. Instead, he created hidden villages where sealmasters would be under his control, or at least under the control of somebody he had influence over, and where there'd be plenty of oversight to stop them wrecking the world before he could save it."

    "Are you saying that hidden villages exist because of sealmasters?" Mari-sensei asked sceptically.

    "Oh, they exist for lots of reasons," Kagome-sensei waved away her question. "It's just that this is the one that matters. And of course, gathering sealmasters into villages has only sped up our research. Isn't it great when people's plots come back to bite them in the ass?"

    "This is… a lot to take in," Hazō said dazedly. But it was too late to turn back. There'd be plenty of time to regain his lost sanity after this meeting… hopefully.

    "What about Akatsuki?" he asked. "Who are they?"

    "The greatest thorn in the Sage's side," Kagome-sensei said. "See, back in the days of yore, they were this group operating out of Rain. Bunch of dumb idealists. Only then they briefly got famous because some schmo wrote a book based on them. I read it myself. Cheap trash, but I guess the writer must have had a lot of pull, given how there were copies everywhere from Demon Country to the Kazekage's latrine.

    "Thing is, the Sage didn't like Akatsuki's flavour of pacifism. Close enough to his to appeal to the same target audience, different enough to be competition. And it just so happens that around that time, he had to find a place for Dummy who was turning everyone into clones. So he chucked one problem at the other.

    "Only he didn't figure on Hanzō of the Salamander. Hanzō was on Akatsuki's side, and he gave up his life to save the leaders. Used his super poison skills to block Dummy's cloning long enough for them to get out. Ever since then, Akatsuki have been these terrifying killer mercenaries, working for everyone under the sun except Leaf. They have no problem hiring missing-nin, and they control the underworld. The Sage has tried to crush them dozens of times, but they're hidden, they're mobile, they're stinking rich, and even if you force them into a fair fight, they go through jōnin like rice crackers."

    "Best avoided, then," Hazō said. "OK, there's just one more question on my list."

    "Hazō…" Mari-sensei said meaningfully.

    "Purely mental list, Mari-sensei!" Hazō said quickly. Lists that had been written down but then destroyed once he was done memorising them didn't count, right?

    He rushed on before Mari-sensei could query this.

    "What about scorch squads? If the Sage is such a nice guy, why does he use them?"

    "Dummy talked him into it. Leaf didn't invent the scorch squads, but they couldn't afford to let all their enemies beat them on demographics—the Sage's a long-term thinker, remember. That alone might not have been enough, but they also had all those experiments they wanted to run, and they weren't going to use their own civilians as subjects…"

    Hazō felt sick. "I—I think that's everything I wanted to know for now. Thank you, Kagome-sensei."

    -o-
    ​
    This is as much of the plan as I was able to get through. The rest, and XP awards, shall be left for the mighty @eaglejarl.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 122: Making Their Way
  • Threadmarks

    • Mari-sensei leaned forward. "Well, Hazō might be done but I'm not," she said. "Kagome, are you seriously telling me that Sarutobi Hiruzen, Hokage of Leaf, God of Shinobi, is actually the Sage of Six Paths?"

    Kagome-sensei nodded without bothering to remove the chopsticks from his mouth. "Mm-hm. This is good cake."

    "Thanks," Mari-sensei said distractedly. "Okay, so let's assume you're right—"

    "I am right!" Kagome-sensei said, hurt. "You don't believe me?"

    "It's not that I don't believe you, it's that I'm thinking out loud as I work through the implications. Anyway, the Hokage is the Sage. Do you think Jiraiya knows?"

    Kagome shrugged, not looking up from his cake. "Iunno."

    Mari-sensei paused, her mind clearly racing. "This could be very good news for us if we play it right," she said slowly. "From what you're saying the Sage has spent a thousand years trying to promote peace. We have the same goal. The question is whether he would prefer to have us as allies or as slaves. If he used this kill-and-revive tactic on us—"

    "If?" Kagome snorted through a large bite of cake.

    "It can't be a trivial technique," Mari-sensei argued. "It can't be quick to cut someone's brain out, make delicate changes to it so as to change the person's fundamental beliefs without impairing them in any other way, and then put it back. There's thirty thousand people in Leaf, they can't all have been enslaved like that. That means that every time he does it there's a chance of being caught."

    "At which point he kills the person and revives them," Kagome-sensei said smugly.

    Mari-sensei rolled her eyes. "That just pushes the problem back one level. One of the first things you learn doing infiltration is that mission success is inversely correlated with number of times you have to break character. If his character is grandfatherly Sarutobi Hiruzen, a benevolent ruler who cares about his people, then he can't afford to act outside that character too often. Killing people and reviving them would definitely count. Also, every time you turn an asset while embedded you're risking yourself. Someone who has been turned is, by definition, someone who isn't behaving the same way they were before and they can betray you without meaning to."

    She paused, seeing the uncomprehending looks on the faces of her audience. "Okay, look, one time I infiltrated a noble court, playing the part of a courtesan. I convinced the noble in question to install me in the house. I located the information I'd been sent to steal but didn't have a good opportunity to get to it, so I convinced a maid to steal it for me. The noble and I were having lunch, the maid came in the room to do her normal rounds. The noble got mad at the maid for interrupting and started yelling at her. The maid instinctively looked to me for reassurance. The noble caught it and somehow jumped straight to the idea that the maid and I were sleeping together...which, granted, was exactly right since that was how I'd turned her in the first place. Point is, my whole mission went up in smoke because of one glance from an asset. The Sage can't be turning large numbers of people and still keeping it secret that something hinky is going on."

    "Would it matter?" Hazō asked. "What are they going to do? He's the Sage, and the Hokage. And who would believe them?"

    Mari-sensei shook her head. "Don't grant too much. If they catch him in the middle of a mind-control resurrection ritual they aren't going to immediately jump to 'Sage of Six Paths', they're going to go with 'spy' or at least 'traitor'. Maybe he can talk them down, maybe he can't. He can't do it every time, though. Sooner or later the word would get out that something weird was happening. All the villages spy on each other, and I cannot believe that something like this could be happening frequently over the course of generations without a whiff of it getting out to the Mist intelligence circles. It makes much more sense if it's something that he does only very occasionally." The look she shot Hazō said without words, Or doesn't do at all because it's not real and Kagome is deluded.

    "Sensei," Hazō said, "you mentioned that the Sage destroyed records. Is it possible that he planted false ones?"

    Kagome-sensei set his chopsticks down and pinned Hazō beneath his gaze. "You mean is it possible that he planted disinformation and I missed it, so I'm wrong about the whole thing?"

    "Um...well, not the whole thing...?"

    Kagome held his apprentice's eyes for a moment longer, then shrugged and went back to flicking chocolate bits out of the bowl and into his mouth with his chopsticks. "Yeah, he did, and so did his people. Disinformation stands out though. It's what you do in crypto and analysis—break codes, study patterns, figure out which patterns fit and which don't. Disinformation can only hold up so long. Too many ways for lies to fall apart. Forget a detail, don't create it in the first place, don't have an answer ready, have a maid glance at you at the wrong time. I discarded all the disinformation." He looked up, pointing his chopsticks at Hazō like a weapon, eyes filled with hawkish intensity and the effect ruined by the mouthful of chocolate chips that he was busy masticating.

    "Wa fime, Wimb—" He paused, gulping down the chocolate. "One time, about five years before I left, Wind broke one of our codes and found out the location of one of our secret R&D facilities and details on some of the projects that were being worked on. They didn't want to let on that they had cracked Steel Tree, so they needed a way to justify having gotten the intelligence. They snuck over the border and set up a sentry post overlooking the site. Tried to make it look like they'd been there for a year, watching the whole time."

    He laughed. "Really thorough too. They built a concealed shelter and marched back and forth from there to the lookout point hundreds of times so that there would be a path worn into the grass. A long-term output would typically bring seed for a small garden to reduce logistical demands. Wind must have brought in some grown vegetable plants to make it look like the garden had been there all along. They even shipped in a couple big barrels of crap so they could fill a latrine with a year's worth." His grin was positively vulpine. "Guess what they forgot?"

    Mari-sensei shrugged. "What?"

    Kagome-sensei leaned in, eyes sparking with manic glee. "It was a two-man outpost but there were two hundred and seven different people's crap in the latrine." He sat up, nodding in satisfaction. "I spotted that one. Passed it on to Higher, they figured out that Steel Tree was broken. We used it to send disinformation back on the stinkers. Kept 'em dancing to our tune for six months before we became sure they'd sussed it."

    "How did you figure out that there were two hundred different people's crap there?"

    "Two hundred and seven." Kagome shrugged. "Color. Texture. Smell. Inclusions." He chewed and swallowed some honey-covered chocolates. "Not my most fun assignment ever, but it got me promoted to Black Two."

    "Is that when you got sent to the doom fortress?" Hazō asked.

    Kagome twitched. "No. Years later. The fortress, I mean. The fortress was later." He grabbed a handful of the chocolate chips and flung them into his mouth. "Years later. Had to work in Black Two for a while before. Wouldn't let you go out to risk having your head blown off by traps or your eyeballs slurped out or your skin peeled off or your brain turned into acid so that it melts out through your lower jaw in a little stream like rain off a roof and splashes on the floor so little drops hit your team's feet. Oh no, can't be letting that happen to people who aren't completely reliable! Much better to use those you trust!"

    "Uh..." said Hazō.

    "Speaking of trust," said Mari-sensei, "Jiraiya mentioned that he's been looking for a clan compound to buy and he's got a couple of candidates for us to look over. What sort of criteria would you want our home to have?"

    Kagome's cheeks were bulging out around the double handful of chocolate chips that he was furiously chomping on, but his jaws stopped moving when Mari-sensei used the word 'home'.

    "Up-bup-bup." Upraised delicately-manicured finger of silencing doom. "No talking with your mouth full. Swallow, then you can answer."

    Kagome blushed and hurriedly gulped down the chocolate. Given how much there was, it took a couple of swallows.

    "We'd need—" He cut himself off as an eyebrow-arched Mari-sensei handed him a dampened cloth, with which he grumpily swiped at his face. "Better?" he growled.

    "Missed a bit," Mari-sensei said, pointing to a spot on her left cheek that corresponded to a completely clean region of Kagome-sensei's face. The sealmaster scowled and scrubbed furiously with the cloth for a few seconds. "Now?" At Mari-sensei's nod he threw the cloth down and leaned forward on his elbows. "We'd want an outer wall with two layers of full-coverage shaped charges rigged to chakra tripwires. Plaster goes over the innermost layer; the stinkers who want to sneak in will disable the outer layer and get surprised by the inner. Then we put Force Wall seals just inside the wall so anyone stupid enough to jump over it slams into the Wall when they think it's free space. Of course, that will drop them through a tripwire and into a killing field of shaped charges. Inside the wall we'll need at least a thousand feet of open sightlines before you get to the house. No kawarimi targets, and we'll put Force Wall seals all over the place so that stinkers trying to run across it will get cut to ribbons. Then we'll want some dogs. We'll—"

    "Sensei, wouldn't the dogs be at risk if they wandered around among the Force Walls?"

    "Not for guarding, dummy. For petting. Now, we'll also want some spikes—"

    o-o-o-o​

    "Hey, Noburi," Hazō said, settling down beside his teammate with a bowl of Mari-sensei's irritatingly competent soup. "Just wanted to remind you that I'm still on the hook for a research project when you figure out what you want to do. Any ideas? I'm pretty excited about getting our mad science on."

    "Basic concept but nothing specific yet," Noburi said, snagging one of the leftover gyoza. "Yesterday I was talking to Jiraiya about the Swamp of Death and how it had so many more chakra beasts and plants than most places we've been. He said that there's a lot of nature chakra there and it's making changes in living things. It makes me wonder if there's a way to de-chakra a beast. It would be one way to make civilians safer—we can't just kill all the animals in the world, but if we could take away their special powers the civilians around them would be a lot safer."

    Hazō's eyebrows shot up. "That is a seriously cool idea."

    "Thanks," Noburi said. "I've already seen that draining them isn't enough. When I sucked the chakra out of those rabbits up in Snow they didn't lose their fangs and their fur didn't stop trying to drink my blood. Maybe repeated draining over a long period of time? Seems like there should be something better, though."

    "Have you talked to Doctor Yakushi about it?"

    Noburi shot him a look. "Not yet, no. Do me a favor and don't talk to him, okay? Or about him, or threaten him, or do anything else stupid that's going to stuff everything up for us. One time having my entire world torn out from under me and being thrown in a killbox was enough."

    Hazō raised his hands in surrender. "I promise. Not a word, not a peep. And I'm really sorry about last time."

    "My mom used to say, 'Don't be sorry. Be better'," Noburi grumped, turning back to his food.

    o-o-o-o​

    It was late afternoon by the time Jiraiya managed to get away from his meetings and join Hazō, Mari-sensei, Kagome-sensei, and their minders at Training Area Number Four, aka 'that place near the big oak tree where ninja go to blow everything up for the glory of Leaf...and Science!' The three members of Team Uplift had been on the field since dawn; Kagome had dragged them out far earlier than either of the others would have preferred. They went without too much protest (although Mari-sensei had been grumbling under her breath the entire walk) since they both recognized how important it would be for the sealmaster to have research facilities that he considered adequate.

    The field was larger than the one they'd used to demonstrate the skytowers. Wide, mostly flat, with grass that had been trimmed short by the razor-sharp teeth of Leaf's goat herds before being burned off by ninja practicing fire element techniques. Now the place was just a mostly-bare patch of dirt two hundred feet wide surrounded by a tall fence. Mari-sensei had taken one look at it, flopped down on the grass at the base of the fence, and gone back to sleep. Kagome had been working on the field ever since, with Hazō's assistance until recently. The sealmaster had attempted to pressgang their escorts into helping with the surveying, but those worthies refused to have anything to do with it. Hazō wasn't sure whether they just wanted to get out of some work or whether they truly meant their assertion that "We need to stay eyes up so we can detect threats to you, sir", but their response had worked well for Kagome. Hazō had even managed to prevent him from laying too many explosive traps around the field.

    Finally, however, Jiraiya had appeared and sent the minders packing. Now he, Mari-sensei, and Hazō were sitting by the fence while Kagome-sensei continued the preparations.

    "Sir?" Hazō asked carefully. "I wanted to ask about that Vacuum Step jutsu that Keiko learned last time we were here."

    "What about it? You interested in learning Wind Element?"

    "No, I just...had this idea about how we could weaponize it?"

    Mari-sensei snorted from where she was lounging on the grass by the fence. "Pay up," she said to Jiraiya, stretching out one hand without bothering to open her eyes. The strand of grass in her teeth flicked from side to side like the tail of an overly-pleased cat.

    Jiraiya sighed and pulled a small pouch of ryo out of his pocket, plopping it in Mari-sensei's grasping hand without looking. "Seriously kid, you couldn't wait just a little longer? Four more days, was that so much to ask?"

    "Ummm...?"

    Mari-sensei laughed and rolled on her side so she was propped up on one arm, red lips smirking and green eyes dancing in amusement. She took the grass out of her mouth, twirling it between her fingers as she explained to Hazō. "When we got to Leaf I bet him that you couldn't go two weeks without weaponizing at least one more of the things we learned last time we were here."

    "Right," the genin said, not sure how to take that. "Uh, okay. Anyway, I was thinking—"

    BOOM!

    All three ninja spun towards the sound...and then promptly relaxed when they saw that it was simply Kagome explosively reconnoitering a small, inoffensive, and no-longer-existent shrub.

    "All good?" Mari-sensei called.

    "Yup!" Kagome-sensei shouted back happily. "Turns out it really was just blackberries!"

    Jiraiya sighed. "I liked those blackberries," he grumbled. "Seriously, does he need to flatten the entire training ground?"

    Hazō looked at Jiraiya in disbelief. The man was the patriarch of his soon-to-be-formed clan, his adoptive father which was a thing Hazō absolutely was not going to think about, the Toad Sage, one of the Sannin, widely regarded as the greatest sealmaster alive, and apparently dumb as a box of hammers.

    "Sir," he said after a long pause. "There is a technique that Keiko and I use sometimes. We call it Clear Communication no Jutsu. We invented it because both of us find social interaction awkward at times. People are inherently unpredictable; they understand words in ways that weren't intended, they react to things in ways that you don't expect, they give mixed signals either deliberately or intentionally, and they don't always share their feelings clearly. I often find myself wishing that there were a standard list of interaction patterns instead of having to—"

    "Spit it out, kid," Jiraiya said. "I promise I won't be offended."

    Hazō thought about that carefully. "Are we alone, sir?"

    Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Yes. Why?"

    "The last time we were in Leaf I spoke carelessly and caused trouble for all of us, sir. Part of the problem was that there were other people listening so you needed to consider their reactions as well as your own. I'm trying to learn from past mistakes, sir."

    Jiraiya chuckled. "Trying to figure out how to insult me without getting in trouble, huh? Yeah, it's fine. We're secure; I wasn't about to let anyone else see our clan-secret seal techniques, after all."

    Hazō nodded thoughtfully and glanced to Mari-sensei for reassurance. The redheaded jōnin was back to chewing on the stem of grass; she shook her head in amusement and tossed her chin towards Jiraiya in a 'go on' gesture.

    "Sir," Hazō said, studying each word carefully before letting it slip past his teeth, "hearing you disparage Kagome-sensei's precautions concerns and confuses me. You are a very accomplished and widely-reknowned sealmaster—"

    "The best sealmaster," Jiraiya said smugly.

    "Yes, sir. It is my experience that sealing is—"

    BOOM! BOOM! KADA-BA-BOOM!

    "—an extremely dangerous and unpredictable art. Kagome-sensei is a skilled practitioner, although perhaps not at your level. More importantly, he's still alive after working with seals for at least two decades. In the short time that I've been practicing sealing I have seen numerous explosions, talking chakra constructs, a rift to the Out, and had my consciousness torn out of my body for what might have been a psychedelic drug trip or an actual plunge through other dimensions. Given all of that I find myself very supportive of Kagome-sensei's preparations. My sense is that you feel he is being overly cautious. This suggests an inaccuracy in some part of my model of the world and I am very nervous about any inaccuracy related in any way to sealing. Could you please help me improve my understanding?"

    Jiraiya laughed. "So, translating: you think Kagome's prep is entirely reasonable, you think I'm being too casual about it, and you're desperately trying to find a way to tell me that without actually saying that you think I'm dumb as a box of hammers."

    Hazō squirmed. "I wouldn't have put it that way, sir."

    Jiraiya laughed and leaned over to ruffle Hazō's hair. "Here's the thing: yeah, most of what Kagome does makes perfect sense...for him. There's a few differences between us, though. First, say a seal misfires and calls up one of those metal blade monsters you mentioned. The two of you need to run from it, throw MEWs around it, and seal it away. I can vaporize it with a Rasengan. Spreading fire-fungus? I drown it with Swamp of the Underworld. Cloud of pain pixies? I skewer them all with a Wild Lion's Mane jutsu. Fountain of acid? Shield myself in Needle Jizō. In the unlikely event that there's something I can't deal with, I toss some sparks in the air and within ninety seconds this whole field is swarming with ANBU, med-nin, and three experienced sealmasters to back me up.

    "Furthermore, my seals generally don't go wrong, because I have other sealmasters that I can discuss them with, as well as reams and reams of theory texts that I can check them against before infusing things for the first time. Oh, yeah, and because I was inventing seals when Kagome still had little tiny paranoid-obsessive-compulsive baby teeth."

    Only the Iron Nerve prevented Hazō's face from showing the exploding star of rage that burned in his heart at Jiraiya's condescending attitude and casual dismissal of Kagome's worries. The Sannin showed no signs of noticing as he blithely continued on.

    "Kagome's preparations are designed for someone working on his own with no backup, no reference material, and without the personal power to get himself out of trouble if it happens. They make perfect sense for him and he's smart for doing them. I mean, some of it's a little excessive even for him, but it's fine. Still, with me here it's just not that critical to ensure that the field is flat to within a one-inch tolerance." He shrugged. "Anyway, don't worry. I'm not going to try to talk him out of his paranoia; I can wait while he fusses." He glanced up at the sun. "Well, for a while. I've got maybe another hour and then I need to get back to work.

    "Anyway, what was that idea of yours that so impoverished me and so enriched yon Firehair? Something about Vacuum Step?"

    "Right. Um, I was thinking that Keiko could make a clone and have it Vacuum Step into an enemy. Maybe have it carry weights while it did it to increase the impact."

    Jiraiya chuckled. "Interesting idea. Won't work, but interesting."

    Hazō frowned "Why won't it work?"

    Jiraiya shook his head. "Nuh-uh, you figure it out. Say Keiko wanted to do this. Talk me through the process; what would she do first?"

    "Well, she'd create a clone—"

    "Using what technique?"

    Hazō's stomach dropped as he saw the problem. Every genin knew the basic clone technique, but that was purely an image with no physical reality. Mari-sensei knew a Water Clone technique and Hazō himself knew an Earth Clone technique, both of which produced physical clones and neither of which were of an element that the air-aspected Keiko could use.

    "Oh."

    "Mm-hm."

    "Well, she could learn the Earth Element and then I could teach her my Earth Clone. That would work."

    "Okay, so she spends a couple of years learning how to use a second element, and then you teach her the Earth Clone. Then what?"

    "Well, any clone that you make can use whatever jutsu you know, so the clone can—"

    Hazō cut himself off at Mari-sensei's cough. "Yes, sensei?" he asked.

    "Any jutsu?"

    "Ye...oh. Any non-elemental jutsu or jutsu of its own element."

    "And Vacuum Step is which element?"

    "Wind. And there's no such thing as a Wind Clone." Pause. "Is there?"

    Jiraiya laughed. "Nope. Also, Vacuum Step is just like Substitution—if you try to pick an invalid path it simply won't activate. 'Deliberately slamming into an object' counts as an invalid path." He took a sip from his canteen, cast a glance to where Kagome was busy filling in a minor depression with a trowel and a bucket of dirt, and then turned back to Hazō. "Okay, if I've learned anything from betting with Firehair over there it's that you, my overly creative lad, never have just one incredibly destructive and alarming idea knocking around in your brain. Your Vacuum Step idea doesn't work. What else you got?"

    "Well, um, there's a lot to do with the macerator seal. Smoke bombs, flash bombs, crowd control, flashbangs, fireballs, all in one seal."

    Jiraiya nodded. "Handy." He look over at Kagome again; the balding sealmaster had put down his bucket and was pulling out a tape measure. Jiraiya considered that for a moment and then sighed. "Look, Kagome's head would explode if we did any actual infusing before the field was ready, and I suppose as his clan head I have a duty to keep him safe even from self-induced head explosions. Ergo, no actual infusing. Still, we can play with already created seals and talk theory...whiiiich, of course, brings me around to the ink. Got bad news there: doesn't work."

    "What do you mean, doesn't work?"

    "Can't make chakra ink out of invisible ink. I tried, couldn't do it. You're welcome to give it a shot, though. I brought a supply." He pulled a small flask out of one of the pockets on his flak vest and passed it over to Hazō.

    The genin took the ink supply with a frown. Why shouldn't it be possible? The ritual for infusing chakra ink was trivial and he'd used it on multiple types of ink that he'd bought in stores all across the Elemental Nations, as well as ink that he'd made himself. Why would this be different?

    "What is this?" he said, opening the cap and peering inside.

    "Oak gall," Jiraiya said. "You write your message with it, then the recipient adds a little vitriol to make the writing appear. If you're being really careful you screen it on over a stencil so there aren't even marks on the surface of the paper or cloth or whatever the message is written on."

    Hazō sat down crosslegged, pulling out the lump of brass that he used for infusing. As he had done a thousand times over the last year he buffed the lump on the leather of his belt to be sure that it was free of any dirt, meanwhile reciting the short nonsense rhyme that served to clear the chakra pathways. He dipped the brass in the ink and blew gently across the surface, pushing the tiniest pulse of chakra through his fingertips and into the ink...which utterly failed to absorb it.

    "What?" He glared at the ink vial as though it were a teammate who had betrayed him.

    "Told you," Jiraiya said. "The other invisible ink we use is apple juice—you put it over a lamp to bring the message out. Not as good as oak gall, but it works. I tried it with that and got equally nowhere."

    "Damnit," Hazō growled, continuing to glare at the inoffensive vial.

    Jiraiya shrugged. "Eh, don't sweat it. It would be nice if we had that advantage, but I'm not too surprised. If this were a doable thing then your cl—the Kurosawa clan would have been doing it for ages. I thought it was worth a shot because maybe you just hadn't heard about it, being as you didn't grow up in the clan. Or maybe they don't do it because it would mean being taken off the line. I'm not too surprised, though." He leaned down to clap Hazō on the shoulder. "Come on, show me some of those macerator ideas you were talking about. You've got some pre-loaded, right?"

    Hazō spared the flask one more venomous look, then pushed himself to his feet. "Yes sir. Let me just warn Kagome."


    XP AWARD: 3

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, April 26, 2017, at 12pm London time.



    Author's Note: The 'Visit Dr. Yakushi' section in the plan was unclear. My best guess was that you intended to talk to Noburi and then suggest that he visit Kabuto if he so desired, but that you didn't intend to go with him. The part about leading him towards the idea of vaccinations didn't work; you were relying on two facts, (a) that people become immune to some diseases after one encounter and (b) that immunity to one disease can offer immunity to a different and more dangerous variant. @OliWhail pointed out that we've previously stated there is folk wisdom around (a), so Hazō might plausibly know that but there is no reason that he would know (b) or even have thought about it. That pretty much leaves the scene with what you saw.

    You showed Jiraiya the various macerator ideas that were listed in the plan. (After warning Kagome so he didn't freak out.) Jiraiya was suitably impressed; he took your research notes on the seal and is going to learn it himself. He also wants you to crank out a couple hundred of them for future use.

    I did not manage to get the lunch with Shikamaru scene written. I will leave that to @Velorien if he chooses to write it, or it can be said to have happened in the background.

    Finally, a big thank you to Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, to which the story about the fake latrine is a homage.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 123: Reunions
  • Threadmarks

    • Nara was already at the diner when they arrived, lounging back in his seat and gazing mournfully at the ceiling as if it had just broken up with him.

    "Good morning, Nara," Hazō greeted him neutrally.

    "Oh, you're here," Nara dragged his eyes back down. "I didn't expect your invitation, given what happened with the previous one you sent. I should apologise to you—"

    Nara cut off as Keiko walked through the door behind Hazō.

    "M-Mori!"

    Keiko nodded politely in greeting, unable to do much about the fact that Nara had just used her real name in public.

    "You were saying?" Hazō asked.

    "Y-Yes," Nara said, "the gaming night. I realise it was poor conduct, but I couldn't refuse my father and my head of clan, and he was offering me two hours."

    "Two hours?"

    "Nara informal currency," Keiko explained. "When there is some task you wish to accomplish, but for which you lack the mental or emotional resources, you spend time owed to you by other Nara. Time owed by higher-ranking Nara is more valuable, since they will be able to achieve more with it, and perhaps identify solutions beyond your own grasp. Were he to so desire, Nara would doubtless be able to exchange two hours of the clan leader's time for a significant sum of his inferiors', perhaps to be used on low-level research or even manual labour. Though it would of course be a criminal waste of potential."

    Hazō briefly imagined setting Nara Shikaku on his problems for two hours.

    "It's OK. I'd have done the same in your place," he said honestly.

    "Good," Nara relaxed slightly. The tension in his face and shoulders, however, was still obvious even to Hazō.

    "Nara, is something wrong?"

    "No, nothing!" Nara snapped. "There is no need for concern."

    There was a sign for this. What was the sign for this?

    Hazō put the tips of his left thumb and index finger together to form a circle, the remaining fingers curled against the centre of his palm. "You are withholding information to our mutual detriment."

    Nara stared, but only briefly. Hazō noted that Nara was staring at Hazō's face, not his hand.

    Nara glanced quickly at Mori, then away again.

    "It isn't relevant to our present situation."

    Hazō wasn't willing to let it go so easily. If you seriously intended to befriend someone, you couldn't just abandon them to their worries. Fortunately, he'd been trained in interpersonal interaction by the best.

    "You know," Hazō said, "I was really looking forward to discussing more of Yumehara's theories with you. But if you have too much on your mind already, I think it would be best to leave it for another time."

    Nara's eyes narrowed. "Don't think I don't see what you're doing. I grew up with Ino.

    "Fine," he sighed in resignation a second later. "What it comes down to is... my clan plans its diplomatic strategies for decades in advance. It's easy considering Leaf's heavily clan-based political layout and the resulting relatively static environment. Within those strategies, the probability of an influential new clan arising within the short term was considered very low. The factors of this clan choosing the Nara as its primary allies, and of the Nara also highly valuing this relationship, would impose additional complexity penalties. To say nothing of the absurdity of Jiraiya finding a partner he was prepared to marry."

    Hazō nodded along.

    "Do you see where I am going with this?"

    "You're off-balance because things are changing too unexpectedly?" Hazō asked. "But that doesn't explain why you're taking this so personally."

    Keiko gave Hazō an uncomfortably familiar pitying look.

    "The implication of this rapid shift in diplomatic circumstances," Keiko explained as if to a small child, "is that Nara suddenly finds himself in a similar position to me, namely a candidate for political marriage to an individual of unknown character with whom he will be expected to at least outwardly pursue a traditional family life and ultimately rear children."

    Nara nodded gratefully. "Bear in mind that the optimal scenario for my clan is for you to prove to be a high-worth ally, so the better things go for everyone else, the more doomed I am." He glanced at Keiko. "No offence."

    "None taken," Keiko said coolly. "I would also regard marriage to you as a regrettable imposition that contradicts my personal preferences and robs me of my desired lifestyle."

    "Glad to hear it," Nara said. "The only thing more troublesome than women is women with amorous intentions."

    Hazō found himself thinking of Akane. There would be much fewer romantically traumatised people in this world if everyone's first love were someone like her.

    Still, while the idea of marrying Akane made his head spin, that was at least a vaguely positive feeling.

    "Keiko," he said, "are you sure you want to go through with this?"

    Keiko turned to face him full-on.

    "They have a library complex."

    That was all that needed to be said.

    "On that note," Nara took the opportunity to change the subject, "you said you had further thoughts on Yumehara."

    -o-
    ​
    "So in Chapter 3," Hazō briefly tore himself away from his noodles, "Yumehara goes on to say that Leaf is the true home of ninjutsu because through Senju Hashirama it is the direct successor of the bloodline of the Sage of Six Paths. But I was wondering… are there any clans that have claimed indirect succession? Say, if they were descended from the Sage's brother?"​

    "Of course," Nara said. "It's common knowledge, assuming a minimum of historical education."

    Hazō put down his chopsticks. This was important. "Which clans would those be? And what do they say?"

    "Which clans?" Nara gave a slight smirk. "All of them. There is not one clan that has not at some point in its history claimed to be descended from the Sage of Six Paths or his close relatives. Perhaps yours can be the first."

    "All of them?" Hazō repeated. "How does that work?"

    "Suppose for the sake of example that the Hyūga claim direct descent. The Aburame want to do the same, but they aren't going to say they're a branch of the Hyūga, and they can't afford to make the claim that they are the true successors and the Hyūga are lying. So instead they will say that they descend from the Sage's brother, who is almost as great as the Sage of Six Paths, and ascribe him feats such as aiding in the creation of chakra, protecting the Sage while he vanquished various legendary monsters, inventing whichever ninjutsu are not already attributed to the Sage, and so forth. And if they encounter a stronger clan with the same story, why, the Sage must have had two brothers."

    "Elegant," Keiko said. "Fictitious family bonds facilitate diplomatic alliances, while allowing stronger clans to assert their superiority via blood without the need for said blood to be spilled."

    "That's... exactly right," Nara said, looking directly at Keiko for the first time, though not for long. "Although of course the system broke down during the Warring Clans period." He beckoned to Hazō. "Pass the miso paste."

    -o-
    ​
    "It was just a poor choice of words," Hazō insisted. "Why would I threaten Dr Yakushi for real?"

    "How could you choose your words so poorly as to achieve that?" Nara countered. "Dr Yakushi is irreplaceable to Leaf. Half the clans would want him if he wasn't already married to his work. You're too intelligent to say something that suicidal by accident."

    Hazō chose not to address this comment directly. "Nara, if it had been a real threat, would I really be sitting in front of you now?"

    "True," Nara acknowledged. "Unless, of course, you happened to be so valuable to Jiraiya that he was forced to cover for you anyway. Also, a death threat against Dr Yakushi would put him under increased scrutiny, both for his own safety and because he might have provoked you by doing something his superiors would want to know about. That could be useful if you happened to have a personal stake in his activities at the time."

    Hazō very carefully didn't say anything. This would probably still tell Nara too much, but it was better than the alternative.

    "Of course," Keiko said thoughtfully, "if you had reason to believe that Hazō was a skilled manipulator capable of running rings around Jiraiya, Dr Yakushi and the greater Leaf establishment, you would be obliged to report this information to your clan leader. Such talent in a realm outside sealcrafting would greatly increase Hazō's value, and thus our clan's, in your father's eyes."

    "That is an interesting point," Nara said. "Shall we order dessert? Chōji tells me this place does excellent manju."
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    "You," Auntie scowled at Hazō. "What do you want?"

    Her gaze softened on seeing Kagome-sensei. "Ah, you're back too, young man. Couldn't stay away from those grimoires, hmm?"

    "Fine craftsmanship," Kagome-sensei said. "And you promised to tell me how they make the illuminating ink."

    Auntie's face distorted in what might or might not have been a smile.

    It quickly disappeared as she looked back to Hazō. "Well? You still haven't answered my question. Or does everyone make their elders wait in whatever forsaken backwater you're from?"

    "I'm here to help out like I promised, ma'am," Hazō said awkwardly. "I didn't get to do all the work I was going to last time due to… circumstances."

    "Circumstances!" Auntie barked. "You mean you got kicked out for bad behaviour. Right when I think that whelp Jiraiya has finally grown a backbone, he just up and spares you like you're that layabout godson of his. Soft! They're all soft. Wouldn't have put up with it in Tobirama's day…"

    "So how can I help?" Hazō interrupted as unobtrusively as possible.

    "You know where the filing shelf is. Get to it.

    "And you, young man," she addressed Kagome-sensei, "follow me. My great-great-nephew gave me some wonderful green tea the other day…"
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    "Hey, Kurosawa. Whatcha doing?"

    Hazō nearly dropped The Eighth Element: A Mystic's Guide, an act which would probably have earned him summary disembowelment in this library.

    "Yamanaka?!"

    "Aww, you remembered," Yamanaka gave a shy smile that might have worked if Hazō had for a moment believed that Yamanaka was capable of feeling shy.

    "What are you doing here?" Hazō hissed.

    "Well, a little bird told me you were back, and then I asked some other little birds and they said you were here in the library, burying yourself in musty old books instead of so much as letting me know you were in town. What's the deal, Kurosawa?"

    "Sorry," Hazō mumbled. "I've been busy."

    "Too busy to say hi?" Yamanaka gave him a disappointed look. "But not too busy for the Nara, huh. Or for," she peered at the book in Hazō's other hand, "A Truer Love: Transcending the Separation of the Sexes.

    "Never mind," she said curtly, "that explains everything."

    This time Hazō did drop the book.

    Yamanaka caught it with a leisurely movement.

    "You know," she said, "you really ought to be more up front about these things. Helps a girl know where she stands."

    "N-No," Hazō stammered. "It was just next in the row, and I didn't look at the title before I—"

    "Teasing, Kurosawa, teasing," Yamanaka laughed. "Don't make it too easy.

    "Now, in return for toying with my maidenly feelings, why don't you take a break and treat me to some barley tea? There's a good place right around the corner. Buy my forgiveness now while it's cheap."

    But didn't she just say she'd only been teasing?

    If there was one thing Hazō could be sure of at this juncture, it was that it would be a bad idea to become involved with Yamanaka—in any sense—while his immediate future was as uncertain and complicated as it was.

    "I can't," Hazō said. "I promised Auntie I'd help."

    "And I'm not stopping you," Yamanaka said. "She won't mind if you take one teensy break. Or are you OK hanging out with Shikamaru but not with me? Is that it?" Her eyes drifted back to A Truer Love.

    "N-No, not at all."

    "Well, then," Yamanaka concluded triumphantly, "let's go."

    "But—"

    "Kurosawa," Yamanaka said firmly. "Do you or do you not want a completely free opportunity to butter up the heir of the Yamanaka Clan ahead of the vote that will decide your position in Leaf forever?"

    "Well," Hazō said resignedly, "when you put it that way…"
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    "Really not as bad as you think," Hazō told her. "As long as you've got heavy-duty furs, and know how to weatherproof your hideout, it's more refreshing than painful. And the landscape is utterly unique. There's nothing like it on the mainland that I've seen, or for that matter the islands. It's so peaceful that it could be paradise if you didn't have to go to so much effort to not die."

    Yamanaka was soaking up every word, at least until she looked out of the window and saw the sky.

    "Wow, time flies. I'd apologise for the lecture you're going to get from Auntie, but eh. You deserve it for not letting me know you're back.

    "Speaking of, you've at least gone to see Akane, right?"

    "No," Hazō said, "I haven't. There have been… reasons."

    Now Yamanaka was giving him a look. No, a look. Hazō had never appreciated before quite how cold those pupil-less Yamanaka eyes could be.

    She put her cup down on the table.

    "Real talk, Kurosawa. That girl is storybook levels of into you. Not just 'won't shut up about how great you are' levels. That's par for the course. No, we're talking 'trains like a maniac every single day so she doesn't slow you down when you come back for her as she knows you will' levels. If you lose something like that because you don't have the balls to fight for it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

    "Fuck politics. Go be with her. If you don't learn how to deal when clan obligations clash with personal feelings, you won't survive in our world anyway."

    She stood up.

    "Oh, and make sure you impress the clans, OK?" she added in a lighter voice. "I won't forgive you if you make them think I've been hanging out with a loser."
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    You have earned 8 XP.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    It turns out that hidden villages don't have that much by way of affordable and unclaimed space, especially at clan compound size. When it is affordable and unclaimed, it's usually for a reason.

    Jiraiya was able to track down three potential sites. The first, the agent assured you after some pressure from Jiraiya, was definitely not once the site of a secret laboratory where a diabolical missing-nin once experimented on helpless civilians, and does not have huge unexplored catacombs beneath it from whence the wailing of children and the snarls of unspeakable abominations can be heard on moonless nights.

    The second once was a clan compound, but was unwisely built right next to the Forest of Death, surrounded by it on two sides. The minor clan who lived there disappeared one day, and nobody else has been willing to take their place and entrust their survival to protective seals which clearly didn't do the job last time.

    The third neighbours the Hyūga compound. There's nothing wrong with it as such, and in fact it's situated in a very well-off area, but nobody wants to move in next to the Hyūga.

    Jiraiya will accept input from the rest of the group once his headache dies down.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    Jiraiya is deeply apprehensive about the idea of you (as in Hazō specifically) meeting his godson, but in the end can't think of a reason to actually forbid it, and even if he did, it's not like he could keep the two of you apart for any length of time. Fortunately, for him, Naruto is apparently due to head out on a mission, and the family dinner will at least have to await his return.​
    ​
    You have spent a day on seal stuff. You now have your 200 Macerators, and you have read more of the basic sealing book. You have had time to learn the Party Trick Seal, which glows briefly when activated, with a visible spectrum colour set on creation. You are also well on your way to mastering the Air Freshener Seal, which generates a brief puff of light wind when activated.

    Jiraiya and Kagome don't see any theoretical problems with black paper. Your experiments suggest that you can infuse a seal you can't see, but it's harder and requires complete concentration, and woe betide you if you mistake the seal's orientation.

    If you ask Auntie, she'll tell you any fool knows that Leaf ink is made with pine soot, animal glue and water, with minor variations in other countries.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    This update has covered 48 hours.

    What do you do?

    Voting ends on Saturday 29th​ of April, 9 am New York Time.​
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 124: A Family Dies
  • Threadmarks

    • August 31, 1068 AS

    Jiraiya took care to make noise as he came down the hall, to knock clearly but unthreateningly on the door, and then to wait patiently.

    "You won't take me alive, you stinkers! I'll kill you all! I'll squish you into meat paste and—"

    "It's just me, Kagome," Jiraiya called. "May I come in?"

    "Me who?" came the suspicious reply.

    "It's Jiraiya, Kagome. I'm alone." Calm. Keep the voice calm. Very important when dealing with insane wild animals. Especially ones with wagonloads of explosives.

    "Jiraiya, huh? A likely story. Go away."

    Jiraiya facepalmed. He did not need this shit. "Come on, open up." Deep breath. You can do this. Keep the voice calm, don't grit your teeth. "I just want to buy some of your seals." Argh! God that hurt.

    Silence.

    "What."

    "I want to...." Deep breath. Calm. Don't sound angry, don't sound angry. "I want to buy some of your seals."

    Silence...silence.... "Hang on while I disarm the traps." Faint noises of someone moving around inside the room.

    Jiraiya waited patiently.

    Jiraiya waited patiently.

    Jiraiya waited pa...FUCK THIS NOISE! "Come on, Kagome, open the damn door!"

    "Keep your pants on," the demolitionist grumped through the door. "I'm almost done."

    Jiraiya waited not-the-hell-at-all patiently, fighting down the urge to either kick the door in or just leave. The first would earn him a faceful of explosion and the second meant he wouldn't get the implosion seals he wanted. He wasn't going to leave without them. Because it was important. And because Sensei would mock him endlessly if he came back empty-handed.

    The sound of a wasn't-there-when-they-moved-in deadbolt being withdrawn came faintly through the door. And then another one. And another. And another. And anoth—okay, seriously, what the fuck?

    Finally the door opened a tiny crack. One suspicious eye showed around the edge as Kagome surveyed the hall. "What do you want?" he demanded.

    Jiraiya took care to stand still and raise his hands palm out in non-threatening placation. If there wasn't something ridiculously dangerous aimed at him through the door right now he would eat Gamabunta's ugliest hat.

    "May I please come in?" he asked with what he felt was admirable calm.

    "Why?" Kagome demanded suspiciously.

    Jiraiya took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Don't look threatening, don't look threatening.... "Because it's rude to make a customer stand in the hall."

    Kagome's eye glared sourly at him for several seconds, then disappeared. The door gods-damned-finally opened.

    "Come in," Kagome said grumpily.

    Jiraiya stepped inside and looked around. The very comfortable bed that had been here was gone and a woodsman's bedroll was rolled up in the corner. The rest of the furniture had also been removed, as had the carpet. Holes had been chopped through the floorboards in several places to provide space for waist-high red granite walls. A taller wall blocked off the window; the only light came from a trio of oil lanterns, each with a Purifier pointed at it get rid of the smoke. The granite walls and walls of the room were covered in tags, as were the floor and even the damn ceiling. He didn't recognize the designs off the bat but they were clearly not intended to provide a friendly welcome full of sparkly strawberries.

    "I love what you've done with the place," Jiraiya said, trying and failing to keep a trace of snark out of his voice. "Very survivalist chic."

    Kagome looked around...guiltily? Really? Well, maybe that was a good sign.

    "It's more comfortable like this," he mumbled.

    "Whatever floats your boat," Jiraiya said with a shrug. "Look, I want to buy some of your implosion seals." He unslung the tote bag from his shoulder and held it out.

    Kagome stepped back, staring at the bag as though it were full of vipers.

    Jiraiya sighed and crouched down, opening the bag wide and pulling out the contents one at a time, placing each item on the floor as he did.

    "Fifty thousand ryo," he said, tossing a jingly pouch on the floor. "A storage seal with ten thousand sheets of seal-quality paper and ten inkstones. Two pounds of chocolate. And these." He held up the three books, waggling them suggestively before fanning them out so that Kagome could read the covers: Ueshiba's Guide to Security; Practical Cooking for Bachelors; and Civil Engineering, Volume 1.

    Kagome's eyes went wide and gleamed with a junkie's fervor. "Gimme!" he said, reaching to snatch the books from Jiraiya's hand.

    The Toad Sage pulled them back and wagged a finger. "Ah, ah. Trade, remember? I want two hundred implosion seals."

    The suspicion was back and Kagome was fondling his ring boxes. "Why? You're the amazing sealmaster. Make your own stuff."

    Jiraiya sighed; a lifetime of politics and spywork allowed him to keep a calm face, but it was hard. "I don't know your implosion seal and I don't have time to figure it out on my own," he said, not gritting his teeth at all. "They're...impressive." The last word almost choked him.

    "You just want to steal them for yourself," Kagome snapped. "Think I don't know what's what, huh? Think I'm stupid, like you can just come in here and steal all my best stuff? Huh?!"

    Jiraiya allowed a little of his frustration to seep onto his face, but he didn't stand up. "Kagome, in a few days we're going to be clan," he reminded the paranoid obsessive-compulsive obnoxious stupid ill-mannered...no, no, the very careful and socially disconnected colleague. "I will be the head of that clan, and it is my job to protect you and the rest of the team. You may not trust me yet—hells, you might not like me—but I really am on your side. Please help me protect the others."

    That made Kagome pause. Jiraiya waggled the books slightly and watched the very careful and socially disconnected ninja's eyes follow their movement with a look that clearly showed almost physical hunger.

    "You won't steal them?"

    Jiraiya took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No, I won't steal them. I'll even promise that I won't reverse engineer this batch or let anyone else reverse engineer them. Sometime in the future I hope I can convince you to let me study them so that I can make them myself in order to protect our clan, but I'll promise not to do it for this batch."

    Kagome fidgeted nervously. "Two hundred, huh?" He fidgeted again, looking back and forth between Jiraiya, the books, the storage scroll, and the chocolate. "Okay." He ducked behind one of the walls and came back with three bags, each with a small label painted on.

    "Twenty meters, ten meters, half a meter," Kagome said, handing the bags over one by one. "A hundred in each." Fidget, fidget. "You, uh, you can keep the extras."

    Jiraiya opened the twenty-meter bag and looked in. A wealth of heavy wooden disks stared back at him. Each one had a seal on one side and the number '20' on the other.

    "The half-meter ones are good if the stinkers get up close," Kagome explained. "Probably won't kill 'em, but it gives 'em a good shove so they're offbalance and you can squish 'em. The disks are heavy so you can throw 'em. Boom, squish. Well, really more schlurp, squish. Gets the job done."

    "What's the range on the timer?"

    "Half a second to two minutes. Or you can set them for proximity detonation. Good for securing the perimeter. Automatically deactivates after twelve hours in case you need to move them."

    Jiraiya's eyebrows shot up. That was an unusual trigger mechanism and tricky to get right, especially if there was a secondary trigger built in. "Spherical detection or cone? What's the range?"

    "Spherical," Kagome said, as though offended. "What's the point in cones? Just lets the stinkers sneak around 'em. Ten meter range. Goes off if you get tunnelers, but probably won't hurt them. Still, it's a good warning."

    "Nice." He tossed the tags into his tote and stood up, extending a hand to the ver—to his clan member and colleague. "Thanks, Kagome. These will help." A thought occurred. "I'm not leaving you unsupplied, right?"

    Kagome looked at him as though he were the stupidest child in the class. "Like I'd give you my whole supply. Stinking idiot."

    Jiraiya chuckled. "Okay, good. Thanks, and enjoy the books." He turned and let himself be ushered out; deadbolts were snicking back into place before he was two steps down the hall.

    o-o-o-o​

    September 1, 8pm

    "Mari-sensei, have you seen Jiraiya?" Hazō asked. "I made a list of—"

    "Sigh. Of course you did."

    Hazō glared at her. Seriously? Who actually said 'sigh'? "I made a list about the pros and cons of the three potential clan compounds. I wanted to run them by the rest of you and then show them to Jiraiya."

    "Haven't seen Jiraiya since the sealing work yesterday," Mari-sensei said with a casual shrug. "He said he was going to be crazy busy from now until the Council meeting and probably would just stay at his apartment since it's closer to the office." At the word 'Jiraiya' Mari-sensei casually scratched the back of her hand in the intra-team code for danger; avoid subject.

    "Ah, okay," Hazō said, carefully not reacting. "So that's why he had that chūnin take us around. Well, anyway, can I show you the list?"

    "Sure, whatcha got?"

    o-o-o-o​

    September 2

    "Ishihara Akane, orders from Central!" Mari called, knocking firmly but not too loudly.

    A window shot open above her head and a green-clad figure leaped out, turning a neat mid-air flip before landing in a perfect three-point stance.

    Akane straightened up, snapping to attention. "Ishihara Akane, reporting for orders, ma'am!"

    Mari smiled. The henge she was wearing was of a tall, spare woman with salt-and-pepper hair wearing the grey uniform of a Konoha civilian in service to the military, the blue cloth tied around her upper arm marking her as an official messenger. Nice to see that Akane didn't recognize her. Her former student was looking good; she had grown an inch in the few months they'd been gone and put on substantial muscle. The green spandex was a very bad sign, but at least she wore a vest over top of it. Good in part because it covered up her chest and in part because it provided pockets. It lacked the shoulder flashes of a chūnin vest though, which wasn't too surprising given her age and experience. Still, pockets.

    "You are to come with me, Green priority," Mari said in what she thought of as The Official Voice. "Recognition code: Marmalade robin opera."

    "Response: Red seven blue. Yes, ma'am. May I inform my parents that I'm stepping out?"

    Mari nodded. "Of course. This isn't scramble."

    "Thank you, ma'am." Akane ducked inside and was back half a minute later. "Ready, ma'am."

    Mari led them out towards the training fields at what would be a fast walk for a civilian and a painfully slow mosey for a ninja. Akane followed without protest, matching her stride to the currently-taller woman's.

    Mari waited until they were out of sight of the housing area before stepping off the path into the woods. She was pleased to see that Akane widened the distance between them slightly and started looking around without ever letting Mari get outside her peripheral vision.

    Once they were screened from the path, Mari allowed her henge to dissolve and stood revealed in all her tiny, fire-haired glory. "Hello again, Collie," she said with a wide smile and open arms.

    Akane's eyes went wide and she surged forward, returning the hug fiercely before picking Mari up and whirling her around in glee. The girl was insanely strong now, and most of the breath whooshed out of Mari's lungs, but she found herself laughing anyway. Gods, how she had missed the girl!

    Akane set her down and stepped back, suddenly looking nervous. "Inoue-sensei, what are you doing here? It's not safe."

    "Relax," Mari said, waving a dismissive hand before settling on the trunk of a fallen tree, and patting the space beside her. "Jiraiya brought us in from the cold a few days ago. Have a seat and let me tell you about it. And it's Mari-sensei to you, young lady."

    Akane smiled at the last, and then took a seat. Mari was both pleased and saddened that the girl sat slightly more than arm's-reach away.

    "There's some important parts here that are classified above your level," Mari began. "What I can say is that the team has done work for Jiraiya and we're here on his recognizance. We are still officially missing-nin but we aren't in immediate danger.

    "Did your father tell you about Hazō's visit?"

    Akane nodded. "Yes," she said. "At breakfast the next day. I think he was conflicted about it, but he did. He told Hazō-sensei to stay away but said that if he could deliver this miracle he promised then he—Dad—might reconsider." She smiled fondly. "And then Mom said, 'Akane, sweety, I know that telling a teenage girl to stay away from a boy she fancies is the best way to drive her to him. It's how your dad got me, after all.'" Akane's face split open in a radiant grin. "The way they looked at each other was adorable. Anyway, Dad told me that Hazō-sensei was a missing-nin and wouldn't be allowed to stay in Leaf forever and that they didn't want to see me heartbroken when he left, or to have me go missing myself to be with him. Mom asked me to please just end it now."

    Mari nodded. "Good, sounds like they're handling it as well as could be expected." She reached into her pocket and pulled out Hazō's letter. "Hazō is respecting the deal, but he didn't want you to hear that we were back from someone else, so he asked me to give you this. How much of it you tell your parents is up to you." She held out the letter.

    Akane took it and tore it open, eyes flicking down the lines of Hazō's messy handwriting. A smile spread across her face as she read.

    "Thank you," she said, tucking the letter away. "I'm so glad you're all back, Mari-sensei. I was really worried when I heard what had happened."

    Mari snorted. "I was pretty worried my own self. Anyway, enough of all that. For the last few months I've been trapped with a bunch of boys and Keiko, who is a wonderful person but not the most uplifting conversation partner. Tell me everything that's been going on. Did you talk to Ino after we left? How is training? Please tell me you're doing something fun, too. Dish, girl."

    Akane chuckled. "Yes, Ino came to see me. She seems nice enough. She dragged me out shopping a couple of times, and even took me to places I could afford. I've been training with Gai-sensei and, um, Lee." She looked down at the name, a bright-red flush spreading up her face.

    "He is pretty adorable, isn't he?" Mari said knowingly. "Really need to do something about that haircut, though."

    "I know, right? I've suggested it, but—"

    The sun wended its way up to zenith as the two gossiped on. Mari was amazed at how much she had missed the chance to stop being a ninja and a team leader for a few hours and just be a woman in the company of other women.

    o-o-o-o​

    September 3, 1am

    "EVERYBODY OUT! MOVE IT!" The bellow from outside the windows was backed up with a massive wave of killing intent that hit like a slap from a demon god.

    Before his brain was fully awake, Hazō was on his feet, wearing the clawed gauntlets gifted to him by the pangolin, and sprinting from his bedroom into the common room. Long training by a sadistic teacher who enjoyed late-night ambushes had taught him to sleep in a shirt and shorts, so at least he wasn't flapping around.

    The rest of the team was there within seconds of him; Keiko had kunai in both hands, Noburi was already summoning his Water Whip, and Kagome-sensei had chosen to blow a hole in the wall between his room and the common room instead of spending the time to disarm his traps so he could go through the door. No one was surprised; the sealmaster had been very clear about his intentions, to the point of chalking a 'door' on the wall when they first arrived so that everyone would know where not to stand.

    "Out here! Now! All of you!" Jiraiya (Hazō was now awake enough to recognize the voice) bellowed from underneath the common-room window. "MOVE!"

    "Kagome, door," Mari-sensei snapped, pointing at the exterior wall. Kagome-sensei raised his hands and the wall ceased to exist. The team was out the hole and dropping to the ground before the splinters hit the ground.

    "What's going on?" Mari-sensei snapped, looking around for threats.

    "Shut up and follow me," Jiraiya snarled. Hazō blinked at the sight of him; Jiraiya's face was covered in bruises and parts of his hair were burned off. He wore a field uniform and pack instead of the traditional robes and sandals that he favored while in Leaf. The uniform was torn and covered in road dust and splashes of blood.

    Jiraiya started to turn away, then stopped and pointed at Kagome. "You. Listen closely: You are fucking safe while you are with me. If anyone threatens any of you I will fucking burn his face off and piss on the ashes. We are going to become a clan right the fuck now, so don't screw it up. Don't talk unless I tell you to, don't threaten anyone, keep your hands in your godsdamned pockets. I am all out of fucks to give about anything at all, so don't screw with me right now. Got it?"

    Kagome studied him for a moment, then put his hands in his pockets and nodded. "Got it."

    "Good. Follow me and keep up." The Toad Sage turned and sprinted flat out towards the Hokage Tower, the team scrambling in his wake.

    The Hokage Tower, seat of government for the Village Hidden in the Leaves and headquarters of some of the most powerful ninja in the world, was never entirely quiet. At any time of day or night there would be at least a few ninja reporting in from missions, clerks working late, and guards patrolling the corridors or standing sentry at important chokepoints. Right now the place was buzzing like a kicked anthill. Chūnin, jōnin, and ANBU were everywhere; several of the sentries attempted to demand passcodes from Jiraiya or question him about the team's presence. He blew past them with snapped-out codes and a complete lack of concern for protocol.

    Hazō was getting more and more nervous as they went through the building past guard after guard. Hokage Tower was host to a few ANBU at all times of day or night, but this? They'd been past easily two dozen of the masked special forces agents in the span of four hallways and seven staircases. What could possibly be going on?

    "They're ready for you," said a colorless and surprisingly calm little man in the gray uniform of a civilian. He held a writing tablet with a series of papers in one hand, a charcoal stick pinned to the surface with one ink-stained finger. In his other hand was a scroll sealed with red wax which he offered to Jiraiya.

    "Mood?" Jiraiya demanded, taking the scroll.

    "Hyūga and Uchiha are seriously pissed," said the grey man. "Nara is being quiet; Yamanka and Akimichi are taking their cue from him, as you'd expect. Inuzuka is ready to chew nails but she's waiting to hear what's going on before complaining. Aburame looks stiffer than usual but I've never been able to read him very well. Motoyoshi and Kurusu are curious and a little nervous. The rest of the minor clans haven't arrived yet."

    Jiraiya nodded. "Thank you, Isobe," he said with careful politeness. Hazō could see the tidal wave of anger locked just behind that courteous pretense.

    The grey man shrugged. "It's my job. The only way I can honor him." He looked away for a moment and cleared his throat. "There's food, water, and tea on the table, along with one cup of sake each. I assume it's going to be tense, so I won't bring more unless you send for it. I'll have the paperwork for the other things ready in ten minutes—we had to dig some of the forms out of the deep archives or it would be done now."

    Jiraiya's smile was a tiny bit less forced. "You're a good man, Isobe. This would be a lot harder without you."

    "Honor the hat," Isobe said. The words had a steel behind them that civilians rarely dared use toward ninja. "That's all I ask."

    Jiraiya nodded without a word. He clapped a hand on Isobe's shoulder, then shoved open the door to the Hokage's personal conference room and stalked inside. The team followed him in silently, taking up positions along the wall and trying not to be noticed.

    The conference table was burnished maple, long and wide and currently surrounded by some of the most powerful people in Leaf: the heads of the major, and two of the minor, clans.

    "What is the meaning of this, Jiraiya?" snapped Hyūga Hiashi. Hazō didn't know the clan heads by sight but it was impossible to mistake the all-white eyes of the Hyūga clan, although the elegant and screamingly expensive formal robes with the Hyūga clan crest were also a pretty good hint. The other clan heads had obviously scrambled into the nearest clean clothes when they'd been rousted from their beds in the middle of the night, but trust the Hyūga both to take time to dress properly and to be able to do it fast enough.

    "Shut up and listen, Hyūga," Jiraiya said, stalking around the table to stand in front of the Hokage's chair. "I'm about to explain it."

    Hyūga's face suffused with anger, but one of the other clan heads jumped in before he could say anything. One of only two women at the table, she was medium height with spikey brown hair, a narrow face, and dressed in field uniform. "What do you think you're doing there, Jiraiya?" she demanded, pointing at the chair. "Where is the Hokage? And who are those people?" She pointed accusingly at Hazō and the others where they stood against the wall.

    "Shut your fucking mouth and listen, Inuzuka," Jiraiya said, his voice deadly cold. "You'll have your answers in about five minutes. Until then, no interruptions.

    "On August 25th this team of missing-nin"—he waved in the general direction of the team—"delivered into our hands a new seal that lets any ninja walk on air. For the last week the War Office has been scrambling to rewrite every strategic and tactical doctrine we have." He nodded towards Nara Shikaku at his right. The head of the War Office slouched in his chair, fingers interlaced over his stomach; he grunted in acknowledgement but didn't say anything or move.

    "At the same time that they brought us the skywalker seal they also brought us intelligence that on September 6 there will be a meeting at the Hinago Medical Center in northern Rice. At this meeting the summoning scroll for the Capybara Clan will change hands. We don't know who will be involved in the exchange but if there's a summoning contract involved we assume the people involved will be powerful. Nara can give you the exact details after my report, but he estimated that there was a thirty percent chance the buyer will be from Mist."

    "Twenty-eight percent."

    "I will shove a Rasengan through the face of the next person who interrupts me." Jiraiya's voice was calm, almost friendly. Nara raised one eyebrow but nodded a minor apology and gestured for him to continue.

    "As you should all know if you read the godsdamned intelligence briefings that I've been circulating for the last five years and then generally having to repeat verbally, Mist has de facto taken over Hot Springs after the Cold Stone Killers incident. That gives Mist a foothold on the mainland and the moral high ground since they're providing protection for people who desperately need it after the recent terrorist attack." Hazō kept his face still, but out of the corner of his eye he caught Noburi's tiny wince.

    "If we assumed that Mist would in fact be the buyer, that meant that one or more of their top ninja would be tied up in Rice. Their combat power has been reduced significantly over the last year; a sizable group of ninja, including several jōnin, defected and hid in the Swamp of Death in northwestern Fire. With our permission Mist sent a task force to wipe out the defectors. All of the defectors were killed in this action, as was thirty percent of the task force.

    "Mist doesn't have all that many S-rank ninja left. Given the new and unprecedented tactical advantage obtained from skywalkers it was determined that we had a unique opportunity to eliminate a significant fraction of Mist's remaining combat power if we were willing to troll the right bait.

    "The right bait, of course, was my godsdamned godson, our jinchūriki." Kagome twitched; heads snapped towards him for a moment before turning back to Jiraiya. "We deliberately leaked word to intelligence assets who are known to be compromised that Naruto would be going on a C-rank mission to Noodle accompanied only by his jōnin-sensei and two genin teammates. We expected that Mist would take the opportunity to ambush him, and we had a force positioned for a counter-ambush. Given that Mist would be attacking a jōnin and the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tails we expected them to bring a large force—best estimates said we should expect to face Momochi Zabuza, nine to fifteen jōnin, and possibly the Mizukage himself: Yagura, jinchūriki of the Three-Tails.

    "On the afternoon of August 31st Naruto and his squad—or, rather, his jōnin-sensei, Nakamura Dai, and two Shadow Clones henged to look like his squadmates—departed for Noodle in full view of gods, demons, and every fruit vendor and spy in Konoha. That evening, after dark, I led a covert strike force to shadow him and his team."

    He paused, looking around the table. His jaw worked as he clearly struggled to control his temper. After a moment he took a deep breath, swung the field pack off his back, and reached inside.

    "The force that I brought with me consisted primarily of ANBU agents. Ox." From the pack he produced a storage scroll with the character 'Ox' brushed on the outside and the two black stripes on the ends that marked a scroll containing a dead body. He set the scroll down and reached inside the pack again. "Bull." Another scroll. "Hawk." Another scroll. "Ocelot." Another. "Crane. Wolf. Cat. Bear. Mamba. Tiger. Panda. Mongoose." The names came faster, the scrolls laid down with more force. The faces of the clan heads had grown pale.

    "And, finally...." Jiraiya stopped, taking a deep breath before pulling out one more scroll. He dropped his pack to the floor before laying the final scroll down with tender care. "Finally, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage."

    "What?!" "No!" "That's imposs—"

    Jiraiya punched a sparking ball of lightning straight through the conference table, sending splinters everywhere and shocking the clan heads into silence.

    "I am pretty sure I said 'no interruptions.'"

    Hyūga started to push himself to his feet, face suffused with rage, but Nara caught his arm. The clan leader looked down at his colleague, white eyes narrowing in anger; Nara released him and held up his hands in placation before calmly gesturing for him to sit. Hyūga paused, thinking about it, then nodded and grudgingly took his seat.

    "Thank you," Jiraiya said, nodding to Nara and then to the other leaders. "It gets worse.

    "We arrived in Noodle the morning of September 1st; Naruto's team set up a normal field camp near the water and began training. The rest of us took up ambush positions and waited for Mist to grace us with their presence.

    "They attacked just after sunrise on the 2nd. Nara's estimates were almost spot on: twelve jōnin; Zabuza; Terumī Mei, one of their strongest ninja; and the Mizukage. They attacked from the sea, sending in a fog bank first to give them cover. The fog was thicker than the normal morning fog in that area but not so much so to draw attention if we hadn't been expecting it. Since we were expecting it, and since they sent it in slowly so as to seem unremarkable, we had time to prepare and were ready with the counter-ambush.

    "Sarutobi-sensei engaged Yagura, I engaged Mei, Naruto engaged Zabuza, and our ANBU engaged their jōnin. In the ensuing battle we wiped out their jōnin force as well as Mei and Zabuza." He cleared his throat. "I didn't see what happened exactly, but when I finished with Mei I saw that Naruto had just killed Zabuza so I turned to help Sarutobi-sensei, who had taken a wound in his thigh and was having difficulty opening the distance. Before Naruto or I could reach him, Yagura...." He paused, clearing his throat and wiping at his eyes for a moment. "Yagura killed Sensei.

    "It was at this point that we were attacked by Akatsuki, a group of S-rank missing-nin who work as mercenaries. They were all flying, most of them on what looked like dragons made of clay, almost certainly created by Deidara, their explosives expert. They had the sun behind them, so we didn't see them coming until they were on top of us."

    He took a deep breath. "The first to reach us were mounted on a giant bird, clearly a summon of some sort. I did not recognize the leader, but the man behind him was Uchiha Itachi." There was a collective gasp and the leader of the Uchiha clan started to say something, probably something loud and angry, but Jiraiya's glare stopped everyone cold.

    "Whoever the man with Uchiha was, he gestured—no hand seals, just a wave—and one of Naruto's clones came flying into the air, right into this man's hands. Uchiha used what I presume was some sort of genjutsu, then stabbed the clone to pop it. All of Naruto's clones immediately popped and the actual Naruto fell to the ground screaming."

    "Two more of these ninja attacked Yagura. They rode one of the clay dragons; the one in front was Deidara, an S-rank ninja whose style focuses around explosive clay. He used truly shattering quantities of explosives for battlefield control while his partner jumped off and beat Yagura into the ground with the most insanely powerful display of taijutsu I have ever seen.

    "Our ANBU were simultaneously attacked by a strike force of approximately two dozen chūnin-level opponents led by a pair of S-ranked weapons users. The first was Hoshigaki Kisame, a blue-skinned missing-nin from Mist with a sword as big as I am and some ridiculously effective water jutsu. His partner fought with a scythe and seemed utterly immune to harm...I saw Crane stick her sword right through the guy's heart and out his back without even slowing him down. She had tactical command of the ANBU squad and when she saw that her attack had done nothing she was smart enough to instruct Naruto's jōnin-sensei, who had been wounded already, to retreat in order to bring the news to Leaf.

    "Meanwhile, I was being attacked by an S-rank puppet-user that I didn't recognize and one of my former students: Konan, a paper- and explosive-tag user. Former student or not, she had no problem trying to kill me.

    "Those two kept me busy long enough that Itachi and his partner were able to scoop up Naruto and the two attacking Yagura were able to capture him. I wounded both of my opponents, but they retreated with their companions before I could finish them. I could have pursued using the skywalkers, but I knew I couldn't take on the entire group.

    "I reviewed the battle site for any information; there was a limited amount but I will make it available to all of you once we finish here. I put the bodies of our dead in scrolls"—he snorted bitterly—"or, in several cases, their forehead protectors since that's all that was left. I then summoned a series of Toads for fast transport back to Leaf. Along the way I tracked and picked up Nakamura, who is now in the hospital and can be debriefed once the mednin are done with him. We arrived just before midnight and went straight to Hokage Tower, where I immediately sent messengers to summon all of you so that I could brief you.

    "Now, here's what's going to happen next." He tossed the scroll that Isobe had given him to Nara, then pulled a storage seal out of his pocket and unsealed a hat.

    Hazō couldn't stop himself from gasping at the sight of the hat. A wide-brimmed conical hat with bits of veil on the sides. A third of it was burned away and the rest was discolored, but it was without a doubt the Hokage's hat. Jiraiya put it on with a grim expression.

    "That scroll"—he gestured to the one that Nara had now opened and was currently reading—"is the last will and testament of Sarutobi-sensei. In it he declares his desire that I succeed him as Hokage. I will be doing that. Leaf's resources—"

    "Are you insane?!" snapped Inuzuka, bristling. "You come back from a mission where the Hokage and everyone else conveniently end up dead and say you're now Hokage? I don't think so!"

    Jiraiya leaned forward, both hands on the table. Black fire washed out of his body, the scent of brimstone and the distant screams of the damned whispering on the air as his killing intent surged. "Say that again, Inuzuka," he said quietly, a feral smile spreading across his face. "Tell me to my face that you think I killed the closest thing to a father that I ever had. Tell me that I killed my godson, the last link I have to the student that I loved like a son. Say it, I dare you."

    Inuzuka paled and leaned back in her seat.

    "I don't believe you did that, Jiraiya," said Yamanaka calmly. "However, many people will think it and the doubt it brings will make it difficult for you to be effective as a leader."

    "I honestly don't give a shit," Jiraiya said. "I'm taking the hat so that I can organize the search for Naruto. I'm sure as hell not trusting any of you to do it—half of you would be too busy empire building here in Leaf, the other half don't know shit about intelligence work, and there's no way I'm going to fuck around asking for permission to do things or requisitioning resources. Anyone who has a problem with it or with me can get out of the way or die, simple as that.

    "Now, some other things that are going to happen. That lot there"—he tossed his head towards Hazō and the others—"are now my clan. I'm marrying Inoue Mari, the redhead, and adopting the rest. As of this minute they are Leaf nin with clean records and will be treated as such. All of you are going to say 'yes sir' and then sign the paperwork when Isobe brings it in."

    It should have been impossible, but Hyūga's spine straightened even more and his face became even more frozen and contemptuous. "Jiraiya, I will not question your story—"

    "Story?" Jiraiya asked dangerously.

    "Fine, your report about how our Hokage died, nor will I question your loyalty to Leaf. I absolutely support your desire to track down Sarutobi's killers and the kidnappers of our jinchūriki, and I will gladly offer my clan's ninja to the effort. I will not, however, support inducting people into Leaf's forces who have already betrayed one village before this and threatened one of our senior doctors the last time they were here. Furthermore, if you actually believe this to be a good idea then I question your ability to lead. You are letting your feelings for this woman blind you to the dangers she brings."

    Jiraiya studied the other man calmly, head cocked as though in curiosity. "Hiashi," he said at last. "You are a fucking prig, and you have always been a fucking prig. You are obstructionist and far too focused on your privileges and the good of your clan as opposed to the good of Leaf. Now, I've had a really shitty couple of days and I am just itching to kill something. So go ahead, get in my way. See how that works out for you."

    Hyūga was on his feet, the veins around his eyes bulging as he activated his bloodline. "You traitorous—"

    "He's right about one thing," Nara said calmly, leaning back and tapping his fingers together in thought.

    Jiraiya and Hyūga both spun on him. "What are you/What do you—" they said together.

    Nara waited for them to stumble to a halt. "You are both correct about certain things and incorrect about others," he said calmly. "Jiraiya, I do not believe that your feelings for Inoue are an issue, but Hyūga is correct that you are emotionally compromised." He gestured towards the smoking hole in front of the Hokage's seat as proof. Jiraiya had the grace to blush. "Hyūga, Jiraiya is correct that none of us have the experience to run an espionage effort of this magnitude."

    "Don't manage me, Nara," Hyūga said coldly. "You could do this in your sleep."

    "But I won't," Nara said. "I will support Jiraiya. He has the contacts and the experience. Instead of fighting with him I will devote my efforts to keeping him reined in so he doesn't go rampaging around the village threatening clan leaders and destroying buildings."

    Jiraiya's blush got deeper.

    "Now," Nara continued, "despite Jiraiya's undeserved slander, I know that the Hyūga are some of the strongest champions of Leaf. He's not wrong that you can be too formal sometimes. For example, I am aware of several merchant families who prefer not to trade with the Hyūga because the merchants in question lack formal education and trading with you makes them feel inadequate. They may be uncouth, but I estimate that driving them off has cost your clan roughly eight percent of its potential income for the last six years. If it would be helpful then I would be happy to offer my services as a consultant, and introductions to the families in question, once we have settled this current issue."

    For the first time, Nara sat up in his chair, his gaze sharpening as he looked around the table "Make no mistake," he said. "We face an existential threat to Leaf. When—not if, when—word gets out that our Hokage and ANBU were slaughtered and our jinchūriki taken, Leaf will be the laughingstock of the Elemental Nations. Leaf is powerful, but the perception of our power was based in large part on the knowledge that we controlled the Nine Tails and that our leader was the God of Shinobi. Sarutobi was respected and feared throughout the Nations. He was both charismatic and wise; our favored trading status with River is based in large part on personal relationships that he built. With him gone there will be a great deal of uncertainty as people wait to see who the new regime will be and if we will have a smooth transition of power or if we will break down into petty squabbling." He shot pointed looks back and forth between Jiraiya and Hyūga; both men had the self-awareness to look away. Nara paused to make sure that he'd driven the point home, then continued.

    "When I say this is an existential threat, that isn't idle speculation. Thirteen years ago the Nine Tails destroyed eleven percent of the city and the Fourth Hokage died stopping it. Our trade plummeted for three months and did not return to its former levels for three years. In large part that recovery was due to the speed with which the Third Hokage came out of retirement to take up the office again after the Fourth's death, and the amount of time that he spent on diplomacy thereafter. I don't know if you recall, but Sarutobi was only in Konoha for fifty-two of the four hundred days after taking office. The rest of the time he was traveling to our allied nations and some of the neutrals, rebuilding our relationships and reassuring everyone that we were still strong enough to make a reliable trading partner.

    "Losing the Third is going to be a disaster for us. Civilian families are going to feel unsafe; they will begin migrating to other villages, taking their labor and economic resources with them. And no, Manaka, clamping down and preventing them from leaving will only make the situation worse. We need their loyalty, and that cannot be gained with a stick." The Inuzuka clan head sank back into her chair with a disgruntled look.

    "We desperately need to show ourselves still strong; we need to find these cloaked ninja, kill them, and recover Naruto. We need to do it soon, and we need to present a united front while doing it so that foreign nations will not believe they can drive wedges between us and pry Leaf apart.

    "Now, my suggestion is this: Jiraiya, you will serve as Hokage for the next three months. By the end of three months we will either have dealt with our enemies and retrieved Naruto or we will need to face the fact that he is beyond our reach and turn our efforts to preventing Leaf from bleeding to death slowly. In either case, at the end of three months you will agree to step down in favor of the candidate selected by the Councils...which might be you, depending on how your time in office goes.

    "For the duration of those three months, the Nara are completely at your disposal. You may draw on our treasury, have unfettered access to our library, and use whatever other resources we can offer. I will make available whatever ninja or civilian operatives you need, even if it means shutting down our internal projects. Leaf needs us, and the Nara will answer the call."

    "As will the Inuzuka!" Inuzuka said, leaning forward intently. "I can have a tracking team ready to leave in an hour. Those bastards might have been flying but you said the leader was on a summon bird. Summons don't last long on the Human Path, so they will have landed at least briefly. Chances are that they didn't land too far from where you fought them, either. In order to come out of the sun with such precise timing they must have been watching, probably for hours. They would need to re-summon their mounts, and that means touching down. With a little luck we might be able to find the spot and get some leads. People from different countries often smell slightly similar—regional foods and cooking styles affect body odor. If we can find their spoor it might narrow our search a little."

    "Thank you, Manaka," Jiraiya said gratefully. He swallowed, scrubbing a hand across his face, then looked around the table, ending with Hyūga. "I apologize to all of you, and most especially to you, Hyūga. My behavior was inappropriate and unprofessional." Without moving from the Hokage's chair he offered a deep bow.

    Hyūga's face worked in something that might have been called discomfort had it appeared on anyone else's face. "Granted," he said. "The death of family can render anyone...off balance. I am truly sorry for your loss, Jiraiya."

    "The Yamanaka will also make ourselves fully available," offered their clan head. "I can send a team of jōnin mindwalkers with the Inuzuka tracking team. Our targets were arrogant enough to interject themselves into a battle between multiple S-rank ninja. It's possible that they won't feel the need to avoid overflying civilian villages, or that they simply won't be aware of them. My people can mindprobe the population of any village nearby; perhaps we can track them through ground-based sightings. If so, it will give the Inuzuka a smaller search area for tracking." He nodded to his wild-haired colleague; she flashed him a feral grin in return.

    "The Hyūga also stand ready," said the white-eyed clan leader. "Wherever you need our eyes, we will be there. Furthermore, I have the strongest, longest-ranged Byakugan in my clan; I will personally go wherever I can be of best service to Leaf."

    One by one the other clans spoke up, volunteering whatever resources they had. The earlier tension and anger transmuted, changing like magic to become enthusiasm and a hunger for revenge against their common enemy.

    Eventually a natural pause fell in the conversation and Jiraiya stood up. "Gentlemen and ladies," he said, raising the sake cup that sat in front of him, "A toast is required. To the memory of our fallen and the promise of vengeance."

    "The memory of our fallen and the promise of vengeance," chorused the Clan Council of The Village Hidden in the Leaves, draining their drinks in one swallow and then slamming their cups face down on the table.

    Before the sound of the impacts had passed there was a knock on the door and Isobe slipped in with a sheaf of papers.

    "Good evening, councillors," he said. "I believe there was something about a clan formation, and a wedding...?"

    o-o-o-o​

    With the Council's sudden desire to be helpful it took just under nine minutes to grant citizenship and full pardons to a group of missing-nin, get the Hokage married, and form a clan. At which point Yamanaka Inoichi spoke up.

    "Jiraiya, go to bed. You're too exhausted to think straight. We're going to need your brain working properly tomorrow so we can start mobilizing the intelligence service. For now, we've got this. Go home and don't come back until you've slept for nine or ten hours and eaten something."

    "You're sending him off to bed with his very pretty new wife and expecting him to sleep?" Inuzuka said with a sly grin. "Inoichi, how long have you been married again?"

    "Very funny," Jiraiya said, pushing himself to his feet and catching himself on the table when he swayed. "I think I'll take you up on the suggestion, Inoichi." He looked over at his very carefully calm and self-effacing new wife. "Hot as you are, my love, I'm going to sleep."

    "Yes, you are," Mari-sensei said. "Yamanaka's right: as tired as you are, you're no good to Leaf." She grinned. "And probably not much good to me, either."

    Inuzuka barked an approving laugh; the Akimichi, Yamanaka, and one of the minor clans joined in. Even the Hyūga unbent enough to smile slightly. Only the Aburame clan head remained stone-faced, looking back and forth between the exhausted Hokage and his new wife with calm curiosity.

    Jiraiya snorted faintly. "Married ten minutes and she's already picking on me," he muttered before nodding to the gathered councillors. "Fine. I'm going to bed. I'll see you all in the morning."

    "I expect to see at least one hickey on him, girlie!" called the Inuzuka clan head. Mari-sensei flashed her a smile and looped her arm through Jiraiya's as he and the team shuffled out.

    Hazō waited until the door had closed behind them before letting out the breath he'd been holding. "For a minute there I was afraid you were all going to start fighting," he said.

    Jiraiya snorted, one hand automatically reaching up to straighten the now-asymmetric hat. "Fireworks aren't over. One more stop before I can finally fall into bed. Come on."

    The team followed him down the hall to the Hokage's office, Isobe trailing behind. Stepping inside brought a flood of memories back for Hazō; the feel of Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage, God of Shinobi like an oak tree at his desk. The friendships they had built with the heirs of the famous Ino-Shika-Cho alliance. The happiness and relaxation Kagome-sensei had shown in the library. The terror of the killbox. It had all started h—

    What the hells was Akane doing here?!

    The green-clad genin stood at attention in front of the Hokage's desk. Beside her stood Minami, the chūnin who had been escorting the team around.

    Jiraiya slouched around the desk and into the Hokage's age-polished leather chair. He shuffled through a stack of papers that had been placed neatly in the center of the desk.

    "Nara was running interference for me in there, but he wasn't wrong about any of it," he said without preamble. "The next few weeks are going to suck; I let my temper get away from me and pooched it with the clans. Nara got a lot of that good will back for me, but that sense of unity will fade once they leave the room. I'm going to need to do some serious fence repair." He looked at Mari-sensei. "Best way to do that is for my charming and lovely wife to go make friends with all the clan leaders' wives. It'll also help you integrate into Leaf and become accepted."

    Mari-sensei nodded seriously. "I'll need a briefing on the wives. Favorite foods, hobbies, family histories, that sort of thing."

    "Here you are," Isobe said, pulling a fat folder from the stack he was carrying. "Standard intelligence briefing for hostile-territory infiltration mission, except the targets are our own people. Makes it a lot easier to gather the intel."

    One corner of Mari-sensei's mouth twitched for a moment. She took the folder and glanced at the first few pages. "This is good. Thanks."

    Jiraiya nodded, clearly checking off a box on a mental list. "Right. Moving on. My next problem is that I've got a whole lot of clanspeople who want to be seen as helpful but are still out for their own interests first and foremost. They're going to be angling to set me up to look bad so that at the end of three months they can kick me out." Keiko cocked her head and started to say something; Jiraiya waved her to silence. "No, they won't do anything that would be visible outside of Leaf or that they think might compromise the mission. They want revenge as much as I do. Still, I don't trust them in general, and I definitely don't trust them with my network. If for no other reason than most of them have zero experience with undercover work."

    He pulled a sheaf of papers out from the stack on the desk. "That's where you lot come in," he said, holding the papers out to Minami. "Hazō, Noburi, Keiko, Kagome—I need you out of the city for a couple weeks so the Council can't use you against me. Out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. I also trust you, which is more than I can say for a lot of people in that room back there.

    "So, here's the deal. I need these messages delivered to agents in my network, and I need it done as fast as humanly possible. Try not to blow their cover, but I care more about speed than secrecy right now. At each stop pass off the message scroll to the senior agent on site and check if they have messages to add to the stack or if they need short-term muscle. You are not, I say again not, under their orders. You will make your own judgements about what jobs to assist with and what order to deliver messages in, although I want you to start off heading southwest towards River and then go counterclockwise around the EN.

    "Minami, you have formal command. I will note that you are taking over what is already a skilled and tight-knit squad. They each have their specialties, and I strongly suggest you listen to them. In particular, Keiko's bloodline makes her an analytical genius on the order of the Nara. Factor that in when you're making plans. Hazō here is young and inexperienced but terrifyingly creative. Kagome is an expert at security systems and reducing things to a fine red mist. Noburi and Ishihara are both excellent diplomats, albeit in different ways, and I encourage you to make use of them in that role. In addition, Noburi's bloodline allows him to transfer chakra by way of the water in his barrel. Make use of that to increase the team's endurance.

    "You can have two hours to gather your gear, read each other in on your abilities, and do whatever prep you need, but you will leave tonight. All the codes and recognition signs you'll need are in the packet." He turned to Akane. "Ishihara, your parents can be told that you're in the field for a few weeks. You are not to tell them anything else about this situation. Understood?"

    "Yes, sir!"

    "Good. Any questions?" He paused while the team looked back and forth uncertainly.


    XP AWARD: 2

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, May 3, 2017, at 12pm London time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Interlude: The Breaking of Warlord Sen
  • Threadmarks

    • "Yeah, yeah, I got it, stab the bird fucker, hear the lamentations of his women, yadda yadda yadda. It's always exactly the same thing with you, Scaly-tama." Ui grinned inwardly at the wave of killing intent that washed out from the gigantic pangolin. It might mean his death one of these days, but what was the point of living if you couldn't have a little fun while you did it?

    "Just get it done, whelp," Pantsaa ordered.

    "Yessir, boss!" Ui called behind him, already heading out the door.

    -o-​

    "No way in any of the Paths are those all ninja," Ui asserted as he peered across the field at Sen's encampment. "Did this dumbass really think armed civilians would make a difference?"

    "They're to hide the ninja and provide substitution targets, obviously," Pander sniffed dismissively. "Not that that will be much help against you, master."

    "If they don't matter, you don't mind if I have fun with them later, right?" interjected Pantone, tongue flicking out excitedly.

    Ui snorted. "As long as you don't get yourself popped by one of your toys. Again."

    "Shut up! If that sneaky bitch hadn't had her bullshit suicide technique, I'd have been fine!"

    "Excuses from the weakling, how totally unexpected," Panseer jeered.

    "Listen here beak-face--"

    "Can it," Ui ordered, hopping onto Pander's back and tightening the straps on his claws. "You messed up when you assumed an enemy who wasn't dead yet wasn't a threat. Pandora, take us down."

    The hulking Earth specialist clacked his claws excitedly. "Aaaah, it is finally time for me to shine! Behold, ye sullied and imperfect world, the beauty of my Artistic Pangolin Tunnelling Technique!" With a ripping gesture, a tunnel bored itself into the earth below him, and he dropped down. The rest of the party followed in deadly silence, most definitely not all rolling their eyes in synchrony

    ...​

    The only warning sign was a slight rumbling before most of the field under the encampment collapsed into six gigantic sinkholes.

    "Ah-haaa!" Pandora shouted over the screams of half-buried men from atop a pillar slowly in the midst of the chaos, as his companions leapt from their positions to begin wreaking their own special brands of havoc . "Behold, foolish mortals, the beauty of my architectural genius! Ahahahahaha--" He cut off mid-cackle as an explosion shattered the base of his pillar. "Artistic Pangolin Earth Armor Technique!" he shrieked just before colliding with the ground. Sheets of stone folded up around him as he landed, and the now even bulkier pangolin immediately whipped his tail around to intercept a barrage of weapons from the kunoichi who had brought him down to ground level.

    "BARBARIAN! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR INTERRUPTING MY PERFORMANCE! LET'S KILL HER, BROTHER!" Pandora shrieked, and then charged.

    "Yes, brother!" chirped a much smaller pangolin, leaping over the lip of the sinkhole. "Pangolin Bullet Rainstorm Technique!" he shouted, manifesting dozens of fist-sized globes of water that began hurtling themselves with bone-shattering speed at the shinobi.

    She did not last long.

    ...​

    "AAAAUUUGH!" the half-buried man screamed.

    "No, no, I was going for more of an 'aaaiiii'. What about here?" pondered Pantone, stabbing another spot curiously.

    "AAAAAAAAAH!"

    "Ugh, worthless," Pantone spat, and crushed the man's head.

    "Can you please save your useless games for when we've killed all the ninja?!" yelled Panel in a moment's respite between holding off three enemies with blades of wind.

    "Ugh. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing everything in this relationship."

    "Not the time!"

    "Fiiiiine. Pangolin Flash Technique!" Lightning chakra surged through Pantone's veins and skimmed along his scales, and the world slowed around him. He took a moment to revel in the high, and then assessed the situation. He could see one tag-laden kunai flying toward his mate, slipping through her technique's guard. He contemplated doing nothing about it, but that would probably get him a talking-to later, and those were always so troublesome.

    So instead of doing nothing, he sprinted forward, wrapping his tongue around the kunai's handle, on the way, and drove it into the face of the man who had thrown it. There were some intermediate steps of shattering the hapless fool's guard as well as his arm bones, but they didn't matter over much.

    Pantone leapt back toward Panel as the technique wore off and the world returned to its less interesting speed. The tag went off, forcing the new corpse's teammates to dodge to either side and giving the pair of pangolins a moment's respite.

    "Aaaw, sweetie, you do care!" she teased.

    "You're free to think that. Let's kill some more people before I get bored."

    "I thought you'd never ask. Pangolin Wind-Blade Technique!"

    ...​

    "Pangolin Firebolt Technique!" screamed a deeply frustrated Panseer. This one didn't do anything more than the previous ones - the condors Sen had summoned simply avoided it. He snarled. He couldn't hit the flying fuckers, and couldn't hit Sen while the beakface was in such close proximity to Ui. What good was an artillery specialist who couldn't hit anything?!

    Oblivious to his summons' existential crisis, Ui danced through the wall of shuriken Sen was weaving, trying to force him to actually engage rather than constantly throw his toys around with his bullshit bloodline. This entire fight had been a frustrating clusterfuck on both sides - between himself, Pander, and Panseer, Sen's summons had been either popped or driven off before their summoner could hop on them and escape like the pussy he was, but now Panseer was being a useless lump, and Pander had gotten popped by a stray kunai to the eye like a chump.

    "Fight me for real, you weakling!" Ui yelled, frantically dashing forward to try to break through a weakness in the swarm of iron keeping him just out of reach of Sen, chakra pounding through his muscles with every heartbeat. An instant later he swapped himself with a small boulder behind his opponent and whirled to bring one of his claws to bear.

    His strike was blocked by a long knife Sen pulled from a leg sheath, but at this point Ui knew the fight was all but over. He grinned ferociously, bringing his other claw around and under Sen's guard, aiming to gut the other man.

    He shattered the boulder that Sen had just replaced himself with.

    "Connie, I summon you!" Ui heard from behind him. He spun to see Sen on the back of a condor already flapping its wings to take to the skies.

    Ui flung a pair of kunai reflexively, only for them to be batted away by Sen's cloud of shuriken. "Panseer, take him out!" Ui ordered. A wave of fire washed over Ui's head, only to be batted aside by the condor's wingbeats. "Dammit, you stupid useless excuse for a--" he began as Sen rose higher.

    "Shut up, I'm trying to focus!" Panseer interrupted him, staring fixedly up at the flying pair. "Pangolin Discombobulation Technique!"

    The condor's ascent went from being smooth and assured to being haphazard, and then it became a free-fall as the summon lost the ability to coordinate its movements.

    "Since when do you know genjutsu?" Ui called behind him as he dashed to position himself beneath his rapidly descending foe, not really caring to hear an answer. "No kawarimi for you now, eh, bitch?" he cackled, preparing to drive a spiked claw through Sen as he hit the ground.

    Sen was barely a couple meters away when Ui noticed the wad of explosive tags his enemy had pulled from within his armor.

    Ui Isas' last thought in this life was that if there was a next one, that crazy bastard Pantone was never going to let him hear the end of this.


    I haven't heard anything differently from @eaglejarl, so unless he says otherwise assume voting will end at 9am New York time, roughly 7 hours from now. Perhaps he can be prevailed upon to count votes starting from his previous chapter, but I recommend re-voting just in case.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 125: New Travels, New Adventures
  • Threadmarks

    • "Well?" Jiraiya growled. "I can't hear your brains rattle from here."

    Hazō gulped but forced himself to speak up. He still took a moment to condense the questions as much as possible; Jiraiya's face was positively sagging with exhaustion and this was clearly a bad time to be fiddling about.

    "Four questions, Lord Hokage," he said, clamping down hard on his diaphragm to keep his voice from shaking. "First, with the greatest respect to Minami and Akane"—he nodded to Minami—"Mari-sensei, Kagome-sensei, Keiko, Noburi, and I are privy to certain information that I don't think is available to them. Are we permitted to tell them about what we brought you when we came to Leaf, or about anything that happened in the other room a few minutes ago?"

    Jiraiya's lip twitched in a tiny fraction of a half-smile. "Very nice circumlocution, kid. You're learning some opsec." He scrubbed both hands across his face and sighed. "Yes, you can tell them about the skywalkers—you'll need to if you're going to use them...which, to be clear, you are. The rest of it, no." He paused, then nodded to himself as a thought visibly bubbled up through the sludge of his tired brain. "Oh. Right. Minami, Ishihara, these people were all missing-nin a few weeks ago. Now I've married Inoue over there and adopted this bunch into my newly-formed clan. They're Leaf ninja in good standing and will be treated as such."

    Akane stared, dumbstruck, for a second before snapping to attention. "Yes, Lord Hokage!" The formality of the words was somewhat reduced by the massive cat-with-canary-feathers smile on her face. Minami was a split second behind her in acknowledging the order; her expression was surprise instead of delight.

    Jiraiya grunted. "'Lord Hokage'. Never expected to hear that." He shook his head and looked back at Hazō. "Three more, kid. Hurry up."

    "I could 'memorize' the letters if you wish, Lord Hokage. That would provide a backup in case the physical contents are lost."

    "Nope. Messages are confidential. Don't read 'em. Next."

    "Is there anything you would like me to think about while we're away, Lord Hokage? You know, like 'turn it upside down' problems?"

    Jiraiya glared. "Don't get a fat head, kid. One bright idea doesn't make you the only smart person in the world. We've got plenty of sealmasters here in Leaf, an entire clan of supergeniuses, and I've been known to have an idea or two myself."

    "Yes, Lord Hokage!" Hazō said, a nervous bead of sweat trickling down from his hairline.

    "Anything else?"

    "Yes, Lord Hokage," Keiko said. "You said we had two hours to prepare. Would it be possible for us to obtain resources from some of the nonstandard options that were volunteered a few minutes ago?"

    Jiraiya snorted. "Desperate to get into that library, huh? Fine." He fumbled open the main drawer of the desk; for a split-second he froze, staring into the drawer as though it contained a venomous chakra snake. It lasted only an instant before he casually pulled out a sheet of paper and an elegant ivory-handled brush. He dipped the brush in the inkwell built into the desk and scribbled across the page before stamping it with a seal-inscribed stamp and handing the finished copy off to Keiko. "Won't do you much good in the limited time you have, but here you go. Don't abuse it or I'll ground you." The words were relaxed, almost enough to distract from the way Jiraiya set the brush down with exquisite, even reverent, care on the rest next to the inkwell.

    Keiko took the paper with a combination of muted glee and hunger that Hazō found frankly disturbing. "Thank you, Lord Hokage," she said with the deepest bow Hazō had ever seen her make that wasn't a full dogeza. "Thank you very much."

    Jiraiya chuckled. "Yeah, well, just don't get the Nara mad at me by looting the place."

    "Yes, Lord Hokage!"

    The tired Sage snorted in amusement. "Okay, are we done?"

    "Yes, sir," Hazō said. "And may I say, Clan Leader sir...I hope this isn't presumptuous, but I believe I speak for the others when I say we think of you not just as our Hokage, or as our Clan Leader, but as a member of Team Uplift. We have your back, sir. No matter what."

    Jiraiya chuckled. "I suppose that's a good thing, huh? After all, we've already seen that you're willing to go pretty damn far for your team."

    Hazō grinned. "Damn straight, sir."

    "Heh." Jiraiya eyed them (fondly?) for a moment, then waved his hands at them like a farmwife shooing chickens. "Well? What are you waiting for, a medal? Go on, git."

    For a year and a half Team Uplift had been living in each others' pockets, sharing the same jokes about bad food and rough living, grumbling about late-night guard duty, and standing back to back while killing everything that moved. They had killed chakra monsters, slaughtered war tapirs, decimated an enemy ninja village, and captured an insane sealmistress. They had crushed the backwoods of Iron and Tea beneath their heels and made those places their own. Each of them knew the rhythm of the others' breathing when they slept and the specifics of the dreams that wrenched them awake in the middle of the night, wide-eyed and drenched in sweat. They knew the signs of Keiko's depression spirals and that poking her into indignation was the best way to stop them. They knew Noburi's body issues and to avoid compliments on his growing musculature that would be misconstrued as mockery. They knew Hazō's verbal clumsiness and the way his brain often ran faster than his mouth. They knew the wide-eyed terror of loss and loneliness that occasionally burst from behind Kagome's paranoia and that the best way to avert it was to hold his gaze and use words like 'team' and 'home' and 'us'. No matter how much social awkwardness there still was, no matter how much uncomfortable teen drama still existed, they were a finely-tuned military unit with a level of integration that often bordered on the telepathic. It was not even remotely surprising to Hazō when Keiko and Noburi snapped to attention alongside him, and only slightly surprising when Kagome-sensei joined in.

    Four heels hit the ground in unison, four fists slapped against chests with one sound, four voices chorused the words: "YES, LORD HOKAGE!" Moving as one, they pivoted on their heels and vanished through the door. Akane and Minami were slow off the mark in following them, both women wide-eyed in surprise.

    Of course, the moment of awesome was ruined when they got into the hall and realized that they had no idea where to go from there. Fortunately, the door clicked shut behind their teammates, preventing Jiraiya or Mari-sensei from seeing the pileup in the corridor.

    "Sensei, you're back!" Akane said, her face glowing.

    Hazō stepped close to her and totally ignored the presence of the others as he cupped his hands around her face. "Akane," he said quietly. "I have missed you so much. I have been an idiot about many, many things, but I care deeply about you. This mission is urgent and we have almost no time to prepare, but as soon as we have a chance to talk privately I would like to sit down and go over a lot of things. Still, rushed or not, I'd really like to hug you right now."

    Her face had gone beet red as he talked, the heat of her blush feeling like it would burn his hands. At his last words she lunged forward, wrapping both arms around him. Hazō's eyes went wide in panic. "Please don't crush me oh my gods you're strong."

    Her arms sprang open and she jumped back, delighted-face sliding into horrified-face as she checked to make sure he wasn't in need of medical attention.

    "It's...okay," Hazō wheezed, bending over and clutching his ribs with one hand, waving the other in a gesture that was somewhere between reassurance and 'I pray to every kami that you please don't hurt me again.' "It's...fine. I'm fine. Give me a second."

    "Dude," Noburi said. "You so had that coming."

    "Akane," Keiko said, her voice utterly flat, "that was extremely youthful."

    Three pairs of eyes locked onto Keiko in shock. Noburi's hand reflexively caught Kagome-sensei's arm to stop the demolitionist's grab for explosives. Minami looked from one of her new teammates to the next, frowning in confusion.

    "Keiko..." Hazō said carefully.

    "Did...did you just make a joke?" Noburi asked.

    "All right you stinker, you can't fool me! What have you done with our Keiko! You give her back right now or so help me—"

    Keiko tipped her head and frowned. "As they were showing me around the library complex, one of the Nara engaged me in a conversation about social dynamics. She indicated that in-jokes provided an excellent method for inducing team bonding, and even helped me prepare several witticisms and work on my delivery. Apparently I need more practice."

    Everyone relaxed and Kagome-sensei stopped trying to fight free of Noburi's hand.

    "Aaaaaand, all is right with the world again," Noburi said.

    Keiko's frown deepened. "I am uncertain, but I believe that was sardonic humor for purposes of stress relief. Is that an accurate assessment?"

    A wave of amused snorts swept around the group, passing completely around a more and more confused Minami.

    "Keiko," Mari-sensei said reprovingly from near the door. (When had she appeared?! Hazō had been looking in that direction!) "Did you just deliver a second-level setup and punchline aimed at causing team bonding by reminding the rest of the team in an amusing way about your social discomfort?"

    "...No?"

    Hazō stared at her for a long second before laughing so hard he had to squeeze his bruised ribs to keep them from hurting. "That is so Nara," he gasped.

    "You people are weird," Minami muttered.

    "Come along, children," Mari-sensei said, sweeping past. "No talking in the halls."

    "Really weird," Minami muttered more quietly.

    o-o-o-o​

    "Sensei, a word?" Hazō asked quietly once they had exited the Tower and made it a few blocks away.

    Mari-sensei did not slow her quickstep pace. "Hm?"

    "Seriously, sensei, hold up," Noburi said.

    The redhead came to a halt and ducked into an alley before turning to face them.

    "We need to get you guys equipped and out of here," she said. "There's not a lot of time."

    "It can wait a minute," Kagome-sensei grumbled. "More important stuff to do."

    One delicately-styled eyebrow went up in a wordless yet extremely thorough monograph of dubiousness. "Do tell?"

    "Um...well..." Kagome-sensei scuffed the ground with his toe, looking away with his hands in his pockets. "Wanted to say thanks for...stuff. You know, like...um...being...um...y'know, in case we don't, uh...."

    "What he means is that we haven't really taken the time to thank you," Hazō said. "And we want to take the chance while we have it."

    "You were the one who got us adopted here," Noburi said. "I thought we were going to be let in on sufferance and do D-ranks for the rest of our lives while being watched like hawks. Then, when Jiraiya agreed to the clan thing I thought he would eventually go 'haha, I have fooled you!' and take it all away. I never dreamed it could go like this."

    "Indeed," Keiko said. "I am uncertain how you actually feel about the prospect of marriage to Jiraiya. It...might be something that pleases you?" Her tone put that idea in the same category as 'Kagome might perform stand-up comedy'. "Or perhaps it is a burden and a sacrifice that you made for us. I very much hope it is the former."

    "You mean a lot to us, sensei," Noburi said quietly. "We literally wouldn't be alive without you."

    "Leaving aside the question of being dead without you, we wouldn't be the same people without you," Hazō said. He looked around at his brothers- and sisters-in-arms, giving them collectively a nod of satisfaction. "I like who we are."

    "What he said," Kagome-sensei mumbled, looking at the ground. "Still be in the woods. Safe, sure, but...lonely. This is better." He paused, then hurried to add, "And not just because we've got Jiraiya-stinker willing to melt the face off anyone who bugs us, and all the chocolate and sealing paper I could want. Better because...um...because...becauseyou'reallhereandthat'swaybetterthanbeingalone...and, um...yeah."

    Mari-sensei smiled and stretched up on tiptoe so she could kiss his cheek. "I like you too, Kagome," she said, patting his arm. "We all do. I'm glad you're with us, and not just because you keep us all safe and blow things up so well. We all like you because you're you." She leaned in and hugged him, her head on his thin chest as she squeezed tight.

    Kagome-sensei was practically flailing in panic. "Uh...uh...."

    "Group hug!" Akane yelled, sweeping Noburi and Hazō together with their teachers and wrapping her arms around all of them.

    "Please don't crush us," Noburi begged. Hazō and Mari-sensei laughed nervously. Kagome-sensei, his arms now pinned at the center of the hug, was making frightened-bird noises which everyone ignored.

    Akane laughed and squeezed very gently while offering Keiko a tipped head of invitation.

    Keiko looked at Akane, then looked at the panicky Kagome. Then looked at Akane. Very slowly, she spread her arms and stepped forward a tiny little baby step before hesitating. She gathered herself as if preparing to plunge into icy water, then leaned forward and very briefly touched her extended arms around her team before jumping back as though burned.

    Akane squeezed tight, eliciting a collective oof!, and then stepped back with a smile.

    Hazō held on a moment longer (and absolutely not because he needed the support while he got his lungs working again), then stepped back.

    "We love you, Mari-sensei," he said.

    "Mr. MEW there beat me to it," Noburi grumped. "I was going to say that first."

    Keiko hesitated. "Conditional on the recognition that my feelings are of a purely platonic, student/teacher nature representing affection and respect and not any other form that would be inappropriate or disruptive to team dynamics, then I too love you, sensei."

    "Well, don't you know how to flatter a girl, you smooth talker you," Mari-sensei teased. Keiko blushed and looked away.

    "Thank you all," the redhead continued, looking around the circle with a suspicious mist in her eyes before turning to Minami. "You take good care of my kids, okay? If you don't I'll hunt you down and make you eat my congee every day for the rest of your life."

    Team Uplift recoiled in horror. "Sensei! Couldn't you just torture her to death instead?" Noburi asked. "It would be so much more humane."

    Mari-sensei blew a raspberry at him before turning and starting to stride down the street again. "Come on, you lot," she called over her shoulder. "We need to get you—" She paused before she'd even left the alley, then turned back to Hazō.

    "I was going to take you to the armory," she said. "However, it occurs to me that perhaps the Great Planner has some suggestions?" She applied the Eyebrow of Amusement no Jutsu smackdown with great fervor.

    "Uh...right," Hazō said. He paused, taking a deep breath. "Okay. I can think of a lot of things that would be useful—"

    "Don't worry, kids," Minami said brightly. "There's a standard pre-mission checklist that we can u—"

    "Don't mention lists," Noburi said fervently.

    "Indeed," said Keiko. "Hazō, you were saying?"

    "...ah, well, there's a bunch of things, and I think we'll need to split up to get it all done in time."

    "Hazō, did you learn nothing from all those games of Dungeon Walk?" Noburi said. "What's the first rule? 'Never split the party'."

    "Stupid," Kagome-sensei grumbled. "Minute you split up the stinkers'll splat you. We're almost out of here, no need to take stupid risks."

    "Excuse me," Minami said. "I think—"

    "What were you thinking we needed, anyway?" Noburi asked.

    Hazō glanced back and forth between his teammate and his putative team leader. "Um, well, Keiko needs kunai and shuriken. I know you already have a bunch, but we're going to be out for a long time and we have no idea when we'll be able to resupply."

    "We can get those at the armory," Mari-sensei said. "Which is where I was going."

    "Right. Well, we also need rations—"

    "Got two weeks for all six of us in my scrolls," Kagome-sensei said. "Like I'm going to let the stinkers starve us or serve us poisoned food or put those mind-control drugs in the peppers, or—"

    "—and sealing paper and inkstones—"

    "Good thought. I've only got ten thousand sheets, we should definitely get more. Can never have too many." Incisive nod.

    "...okay, well, water supply—"

    "We're headed to River," Noburi pointed out. "Plenty of water around."

    "But it might not be—" Minami began.

    "And I can sterilize it with medical chakra," Noburi added. "So, not an issue."

    "We should—" the young woman tried.

    "It would still be wise to bring a supply," Keiko said. "Jiraiya said we would be going 'counterclockwise around the Elemental Nations'. That might include low-water countries such as Wind."

    "We can—"

    "Right," Noburi said. "From what I saw last time we were at the supply depot they keep the water in large barrels and dole it out into smaller containers for deployments—apparently storage scrolls aren't as common around here for some bizarre reason that has nothing to do with not every team having a pair of sealsmiths running around with them. Anyway, we can requisition some of the barrels. They're probably too heavy to store while full but we can fill them part way and if I lost my barrel I could convert one of those more easily than I could build a new one from scratch."

    "Why do you—"

    "What does our supply of seals look like?" Keiko asked. "I have thirty-seven PMYF seals, two hundred and nineteen explosive tags—"

    "Two hundred and nineteen?!" Minami gasped. "That's crazy!"

    "Two hundred and nineteen?!" Kagome-sensei gasped. "That's crazy! Why didn't you tell me you were running low? Stupid girl, running out of explosives! What have I taught you? Huh? Huh?!"

    "'All problems can be solved with explosives'," chanted Akane, Noburi, Keiko, Hazō, and Mari-sensei in unison. "'If a problem cannot be solved with explosives, you are not using enough explosives.'"

    Minami looked from one face to another. "What in the world do you need that many tags for?"

    "You're kinda stupid, aren't you?" Kagome-sensei asked.

    "What Kagome meant to say," Mari-sensei hurried to add, "was that we've spent a year and a half out in the cold with no one to depend on but ourselves. There are a lot of nasty things out there and having a nice thick layer of stuff that goes boom between yourself and the nasties can be very reassuring."

    "Also, they are useful if you find yourself buried alive in a cave," Keiko said.

    "Or being attacked by a few dozen dirt-surfing ninja hicks and their magical pets," Noburi said.

    "There are some utility options as well," Hazō added. "For example, chopping firewood with an explosive tag is much easier than doing it with an axe."

    Minami blinked, clearly boggled at the idea of using expensive ninja equipment in lieu of a hundred-ryo axe.

    "You'll get used to it," Mari-sensei said kindly. "We do things a little differently from most teams, but it's worked pretty well so far."

    "How are you fixed for macerators, Keiko?" Hazō asked.

    "Six, with various settings," she said. "And one hundred skywalkers."

    "Noburi?"

    "About five hundred explosives, ten PMYFs, a hundred skywalkers. Only the one macerator, though. I'm just using it for cooking since I can't use them and my Water Whip at the same time without tripping over my own feet."

    "What are macerators?" Minami asked. "And how do you use them for cooking?"

    "Storage tag that chews things up," Hazō said. "You can set how small they grind the thing and how fast they spit it out. They're great for grinding chakra dragonflies up for their paralytic wing dust, and for dicing vegetables. Also, if you feed in something like glass and set them to spit it out really fast they work reasonably well as an area-effect ranged weapon."

    "It would be simpler just to use a jutsu," said Minami. "I know some good ones; I'm happy to teach you if you're lightning aspect. Jutsu are generally better than seals. Seals can be taken away, or get spoiled. And they're expensive."

    "See? Dumbbutt. Should definitely leave her here."

    "Well, Kagome-sensei and I make all the seals for the team, so cost isn't an issue," Hazō said, manfully ignoring his teacher. "And yes, they can be ruined or lost. On the other hand they don't need chakra, can be used by anyone without regard to elemental affinities, take no time to learn, and they give melee fighters like me and Noburi a ranged option. Macerators in particular are also really flexible because you can put different things in them to achieve different goals. Speaking of which, we'll want to load up on a few different macerator payloads. I'm thinking some kind of stinky stuff for when we need to cover our tracks—"

    "I've got a dead chakra skunk that I gathered the first time we were in Iron," Noburi said. "I kept meaning to bring it up and then getting distracted."

    "You became distracted about offering resources to your team?" Minami asked, eyebrows raised.

    "Yeah, well, there was this little matter of becoming a medic-nin, killing a couple of jōnin—"

    "Only the one jōnin," Keiko corrected pedantically. "The other one got buried when the building collapsed."

    "—killing one jōnin, dropping a building on another, blowing up or burning down most of a forest, and then being tracked down by an S-rank spymaster and forced to go hunting for...well, let's call it 'big game' and leave it at that."

    Minami stared for a moment, then smiled and nodded. "Oh, I see," she said. "You're pulling my leg. Hazing the new girl, huh? That's fine."

    Hazō, Noburi, and Keiko looked at her silently, then turned back to their own discussion.

    "Anyway, the stuff positively reeks," Noburi said. "Should work fine. Might be a good idea to get some perfume or something like that as well. Gives us better options."

    "Lamp oil," Kagome-sensei suggested. "Good for light, but I bet the firelog trick'll work even better if we mix some lamp oil in. Extra-crispy stinkers."

    "The Yamanaka have several flower shops which they use for, among other things, perfumes," Keiko suggested. "I doubt they are open at the moment, but I suspect that Ino will have a plentiful supply. It would be rude, but I find it likely that she would be willing to give us some if Hazō woke her up and asked...nicely." Her tone was so dry that every water source within fifty miles instantly evaporated.

    Akane raised an eyebrow.

    "Right!" Hazō said quickly. "That is totally a thing we should not do. No, we'll find some along the way somewhere. Some irritants would be good though." He turned to Kagome-sensei. "Sensei, do you have any of those insanity peppers that you put in the chili that one time?"

    "Wasn't that hot," Kagome-sensei grumbled. "Bunch of pansies, all of you. Anyway, no. You guys were so whiney about it that I threw them away. "

    "Pepper bombs are generally discouraged for squad use," Minami said. "Too easy to have friendly fire."

    "I have some spicy red peppers in my quarters," Akane offered.

    "The pansy kind or the spicy kind?" Kagome-sensei demanded.

    "Well, I think they're pretty spicy...."

    "Pansy kind. Hmph. Fine, whatever. Better than nothing if we have to do any of that stinking 'non-lethal' stuff." He made the air quotes with his fingers. "Stupid stinking idea. If you're throwing something at someone it should splat 'em."

    "Capture missions are very useful," Minami said. "You can interrogate prisoners, or—"

    "Yep. Stupid." Kagome-sensei turned to the rest of the team and jerked a thumb at Minami. "Think anyone would notice if we left her behind?"

    "Hey!"

    "Kagome, be nice," Mari-sensei chided.

    Kagome-sensei looked at her with kicked-puppy eyes. "I was being nice. Didn't say a single thing about splatting her, even though that would be way easier than leaving her here. We'd have to tie her up so she didn't follow us. Well, or break her legs. And it's not as if she'd be really useful if we did drag her dumb butt along. Can't afford to have an idiot on watch, after all." He snorted. "I mean, come on. She doesn't even know what explosives are for!" He eyed the Leaf ninja speculatively. "They've got good medic-nin here, right?" he asked hopefully.

    Minami shifted her weight into a ready stance, looking nervously back and forth between her new 'teammates'.

    "Kagome, no," Mari-sensei said firmly. "Minami is your squad leader and teammate. You will treat her with the same respect you've given me."

    Kagome-sensei looked at the redhead, who had her fists on her hips while wearing the Resolve Face. Then he looked at Minami. Then he looked back at the redhead.

    "Fine, whatever," he grumbled. "Just don't come crying to me when Ms. Dumbbutt here gets us all killed because she doesn't even know how to do proper reconnaisance."

    "I am not a dumbutt! And of course I know how to do reconnaissance!" Minami said. "It's a standard part of the Leaf Academy education!"

    "Uh-huh," the sealmaster said dubiously. "How do you do it, then?"

    "Well, you make sure you're approaching from downwind, using all available terrain features for concealment, and—"

    "Wrong! You throw some explosive tags in and see what comes flying out!" He turned to the rest of the team. "Are you sure we can't leave her here? Maybe exchange her for a better one?"

    Noburi's face was suspiciously straight and his voice wobbled very slightly with what very definitely was not suppressed laughter. "Yes, Kagome. As Mari-sensei said, Minami is our squad leader now."

    "Ms. Dumbbutt's not my squad leader," Kagome muttered. The complaining continued from there but his voice dropped low enough that only the occasional word or phrase ('stinking', 'get us all killed', 'Dumbbutt', 'but noooo') could be understood.

    "I promise, they're a good team," Mari-sensei said, patting Minami's arm. "You'll do fine with them."

    "Uh-huh," Minami said, eyeing her theoretical subordinates. She pulled herself erect and put her hands on her hips, her voice shifting into what she probably thought a squad leader sounded like. "Right. Well, the first thing we'll need to do is go to the armory to get you kids kitted out, since all of you seem to be underequipped. We'll get you some field packs and—"

    "I've still got a skytower in my scroll, and I'm carrying a half dozen sets of 5SB seals," Hazō said. "You guys?"

    "Still got my skytower structure," Noburi said. "Three sets of seals. Keiko?"

    "I have my structure," Keiko said. "As well as my full complement of three sets of seals. Kagome?"

    "Obviously I still have my skytower and the seals," Kagome-sensei grumbled. "Why wouldn't I? You think I'd throw out perfectly good seals? Even Ms. Dumbbutt here isn't that stupid." He paused and turned to Minami. "You're not, are you?"

    "Excuse me," Minami said. "Kagome, I believe you mentioned that you had at least a week of trail food for everyone, but standard doctrine is that every operative must have one week's supply on their person. We'll get that at the depot, along with more kunai and shuriken for Keiko, and some lamp oil for Kagome. Barrels are too heavy, but we can get some canteens. As to scented materials, I don't think that's a good idea. The smell could attract chakra beasts."

    "Speaking of chakra beasts," Mari-sensei said, "you can have my tower and seals, since I won't need them here in Leaf." She held out a scroll; Hazō hesitated for a moment then took it with a grateful nod.

    "Can't have you guys get stuck sleeping on the ground, right?" their real team leader said with a smile.

    "Do you usually sleep in trees?" Minami asked, frowning. "That can actually be very dangerous. There are tree snakes in Fire that—"

    "Been there, killed that," Noburi said.

    "Oh. Well, they aren't common, but we do have some trees with ants that have acid—"

    "Saw that, steered clear."

    "Well, there are—"

    "And I thought I was oblivious," Kagome-sensei said. "Seriously, are you sure we have to bring her?"

    "What are you talking about?" Minami snapped. "I am not oblivious!"

    The sealmaster snorted. "Well, then I guess you're just stupid. We keep telling you that we've done that, been there, killed that, and you keep not listening. How many missions have you done outside of Leaf?"

    "Lots! Civilian protection, courier missions, a bunch of search and destroys on chakra beasts and bandits, other stuff. A dozen or so A-ranks, twenty-seven B-ranks, and more C-ranks than I can remember."

    The team exchanged looks.

    Mari-sensei cleared her throat. "If you don't mind me asking...how old are you, Minami?"

    "Seventeen, why?"

    "You graduated on time? At twelve?"

    "Yes...?"

    Mari-sensei hesitated, clearly looking for the right words. "How much time have you spent in the field at night? Not in a pre-built outpost, in a shelter that you prepared yourself."

    The girl paused, counting on her fingers in an unreassuring way. "Probably...thirty or forty nights," she said. "Like I said, I've done a dozen A-rank missions but they've mostly been out-and-backs, or else we stayed at the waystations on the roads."

    "And how many chakra-enabled encounters have you had, where an encounter is defined as a hostile contact with a chakra beast or enemy ninja possessing hostile intent and the plausible capability of causing injury or death?"

    "Maybe...fifteen enemy ninja. Lots of chakra beasts, though. At least a hundred, maybe two."

    "Okay," Mari-sensei said. "Well, my kids are three years younger than you. I'd need to check my journals to get the exact numbers, but they've spent on the order of four hundred nights sleeping in the field and a hundred in populated locations that count as hostile territory. They've had hostile encounters, almost always including actual combat, with at least three dozen genin, ten or fifteen chūnin, and half a dozen jōnin. Most of those ninja are dead now. And the team has collectively killed something on the order of two thousand chakra beasts."

    Minami gaped in shock.

    "Told you," Kagome grunted. "Been there, killed that."

    "Maybe this would be a good time to exchange capabilities information?" Mari-sensei said kindly. "Rough-field training is one thing, but with the educational opportunities here in Leaf I'm sure you have a great deal to offer."

    "Yes, absolutely. Well, first, I have a bloodline," she said proudly. "I can manifest an invisible chakra prism that I can see through from long distances."

    "My bloodline lets me drain people's chakra through any water we're both touching," Noburi said. "I can tell where they are, roughly how much chakra they have, and if I can actually touch them I can identify one of their elemental natures. When I drain chakra I put it into the water in my barrel and anyone who drinks from the barrel gets the chakra. It means we can run ten hours a day for most of a week without stopping. Oh, and Hazō's bloodline gives him a phenomenal kinesthetic sense that makes him a monster at taijutsu. Keiko's makes her a genius on the level of the Nara."

    "I, uh, have several lightning jutsu? I can make lightning tendrils."

    "Water tendrils, plus a half-dome shield."

    "I have a lightning boost ability that lets me counterattack with great power!"

    "Akane's jutsu lets her tank hits from a taijutsu-specialist jōnin."

    "Please do not drag me into your kunai-measuring contest, Noburi."

    "I have a static discharge jutsu that lets me shock everyone in range."

    "Between me, Keiko, Hazō, and Kagome we're carrying about three thousand explosive tags."

    Kagome snorted. "Three?"

    "I can absorb power from any jutsu used near my prism and then use it to boost my jutsu."

    "Keiko is the Pangolin Summoner."

    "..."

    "Like I said: been there, killed that."

    "On other topics that are less related to the measuring of genitalia," Hazō said. "Keiko, is Pandour still with the Toads and can we still use him for message relays?"

    She nodded. "Yes. He was scheduled to remain there for the rest of the month but I could ask him to extend his stay if necessary."

    "Great, that'll let us get news back to Jiraiya quickly. What check-in schedule did you arrange?"

    "I haven't been using it while we've been here, but now that we're going out to the field I will summon him at sundown each day in order to verify that both of us are still alive, and to pass on whatever information we have."

    "How are you the Pangolin Summoner?!"

    Keiko dead eyes bored into Minami's as she said, "I gazed into the maddened soul of the Out and did not flinch when it gazed back into mine."

    "..."

    "So, Team Leader," Hazō said, desperately trying to interject before relations with their Jiraiya-assigned leader were irreparably destroyed, or the girl developed an inferiority complex. "Just so you're aware, we will have near real-time communications with Leaf. Keiko summons Pandour, gives...him?"

    "You were uncertain of Pandour's gender?" Keiko asked. "Are you saying that all pangolin look alike to you?"

    "Be nice, Keiko," scolded the world's best apprentice and girlfriend and oh boy were there some things to sort out in that phrasing. "Don't tease him, he's dealing with a lot right now."

    "Hmph," Keiko said. "I have been attempting to work on aspects of my social interactions that I have not felt comfortable with in the past, but perhaps you are correct that now is not the time." She turned to Minami. "As Hazō says, we will have near real-time communication with Leaf. I summon Pandour and give him the message, then he returns to the Summon Realm. He is currently stationed at the Pangolin embassy in Toad Clan territory. He gives the message to one of the Toads who is contracted to Jiraiya. Jiraiya will summon that toad periodically in order to get the latest messages. Typically that would happen once every twenty-four hours." She smiled faintly. "The Pangolins were very confused about why we chose such a strange schedule, and Pandour is a bit irritated at the way I keep interrupting his sleep as his day/night cycle drifts in and out of alignment with ours."

    "Right," Minami said, in a I-am-now-beyond-surprise voice. "Of course."

    "In any case," Hazō said, "Minami, I wanted to ask you about rules of engagement. When do we disengage from combat, what level of risk is acceptable, what code words do you use for various protocols, that sort of thing?"

    "This is a series of courier missions," Minami said. "That means that getting the message through is what matters. Well, and keeping you three alive since apparently you're all Jiraiya's kids."

    Were there such a thing as the Kill You With My Brain no Jutsu, Minami would have exploded.

    "We are not to be coddled," Keiko hissed.

    Minami shrugged. "Hey, it's okay. Everyone knows that the kids from the big clans get the good missions. Don't worry, I don't hold it against you."

    "Minami, this might not be the tack you want to take," said Mari-sensei warningly. "These kids are proven ninja and they weren't Jiraiya's clan until about half an hour ago. He's sending them on this mission to get them out of his hair, not as a reward."

    "Oh," said the Leaf nin. "Well, anyway, we were told that the messages must be delivered with maximum speed. Where possible we will avoid combat. When we cannot avoid it we will disengage and evade as quickly as possible concordant with not losing time. Wakahisa, if your bloodline will in fact enable us to run ten hours a day then we shall make the most of that ability. At the supply depot we'll get you all copies of the basic protocol manuals so that you can learn standard Leaf attack orders and such."

    "May I offer a suggestion?" Mari-sensei said diffidently.

    "Of course!"

    "Our team has evolved a unique series of combat-related code phrases. Instead of having Hazō, Noburi, Keiko, and Kagome all learn the Leaf protocols while in the field, it might work better for you to learn ours for now and the kids study the Leaf ones for the next mission. Akane is already familiar with both ours and Leaf's so it won't be an issue for her either way."

    Minami hesitated for a moment, then nodded with a smile that looked only slightly painted on. "Thank you, that's an excellent idea. I will do that." She took a deep breath as though centering herself; her smile got slightly wider and a touch more brittle. "Now, I think it might make sense for us to get moving? We still need to get to the armoury and get you all equipped."

    "I have my essential supplies in my go bag," Keiko said, tapping the wooden scrollcase at her belt. "The remainder of my equipment is in my field pack back in our quarters. Another hundred kunai would be useful, but someone else could pick those up for me. It is more important that I go to the Nara library. Lord Hokage gave me a pass to visit it. There will be maps, climatological and economic data, and threat analyses for all of the nations that we will be passing through."

    "Also, seals," Hazō said hungrily.

    "We don't have time for you to be recording seals," Minami said...then hesitated. "Unless you have some trick for doing so quickly?"

    "Yup."

    Minami sighed. "Of course you do. Fine. You and Mori go to the Nara library. Wakahisa, Kagome, you're with me. We're going to the supply depot."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Look, I don't need to take any of the books," Hazō whined. "I just want to read them."

    The Nara clan librarian was grouchy about being woken up from a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a pair of young brats no older than his grandchildren. Keiko's authorization from the Hokage (the handwriting was Jiraiya's but the seal checked out so the Hokage must have authorized it) was enough to get the two in the door and let Keiko ravage review the cartography section. It was not, however, enough to let Hazō into the sealing library.

    "Do you have a specific authorization from the Hokage or Lord Nara?"

    "No?"

    "Then you don't get in."

    "But—!"

    "I will note," Keiko said, returning from her rampage rummaging, "that there is an excellent chance I will be marrying Nara Shikamaru in the near future. Hazō is my teammate and I would appreciate it if you could make available at least one book of beginner seals, simply so he can get an idea of what sort of things the Nara library has available. It will be useful for when he wants to trade with our clan to buy seals."

    The librarian eyed her for a moment before going wide-eyed. "I thought you looked familiar," he said. "You're the one all the time has been changing hands over."

    She shrugged. "I suppose. Now, about that book?"

    The librarian thought about that. "Well, if all you want is to know what seals we have I could just give you a verbal list."

    "No! That—"

    "—won't do," Keiko said. "Our team was fooled by that trick once before, where multiple names were given to the same seal and we received the value of three seals for the price of six. Hazō will need to see that the seals attached to the names are distinct."

    The librarian thought some more, then shrugged. "Fine. You can skim through one of the beginner books just so you can see that we have a lot of seals to offer. I'm covering up everything except the seal and the name, though."

    "That's fine," Hazō said, desperately trying to suppress the sharklike grin that was fighting to split his face.

    o-o-o-o​

    The night was still pitch black as the newly-reunited Team Uplift, minus their leader and plus Minami, loped out the gates of Konoha into the dangerous, pitch-black night of the Land of Fire. There were lethal monsters, enemy ninja, and hundreds—possibly thousands—of miles ahead of them.

    Hazō couldn't wait.


    XP AWARD: 1

    This update covered 1 hour and 57 minutes. Keiko snarfled several sets of maps, climate data, and general information related to the countries you will be visiting. (She took the list of delivery sites in with her.) Hazō managed to look at eight different seals although he has no idea what any of them do. We'll get back to you once we have the list.

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, May 10, 2017, at 12pm London time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 126: Dawn of the Serpent
  • Threadmarks

    • Nikkō had had a lot to think about during their eight hours' running. Of course, for a brief, incredible time, she'd thought of nothing at all, just revelled in being able to fly. For that alone, for being able to see the forest scrolling underneath as if the earth had given up its claim on her, a lot could be forgiven.

    It would need to be. That briefing was her last couple of months with Shika distilled. They interrupted or dismissed her suggestions without listening because they knew better. They showed off their superiority with no interest in explaining or slowing down so she could catch up. They casually insulted her intelligence and treated her as an obstacle to be worked around. They probably hadn't been trying to bully her, but the end result was indistinguishable.

    And the worst part was that she would have to forgive it. Stewing over it would get her no closer to breaking into that self-contained dynamic of theirs, and demanding apologies never earned anybody any respect. Any kind of focus on her own feelings would be not only pointless but counterproductive.

    Instead, she would need a strategy. The fact was, she'd allowed herself to be pushed off balance, and kept that way, throughout the meeting. She hadn't taken their description from Jira—the Hokage (which, incidentally, what the hell?) as the warning it was meant to be, and started out treating them as the newbies she'd expected, instead of experienced veterans with a unique and crazy but apparently effective way of doing things. By the time she'd realised her mistake, it had been too late, and then she'd only made things worse by trying to be helpful instead of switching tack completely. As always, so many options visible only in hindsight.

    This was no good. The team didn't need her (each was individually more experienced than her, and their group bond seemed practically telepathic) and they certainly didn't want her, but if she let herself resent them, she'd have failed as a leader on the very first day. That wasn't something she could allow to happen. Not after Jira—the Hokage had finally put her in a leadership role, and personally entrusted her with something important.

    As the team settled down on top of their skytower (an overnight camp in the sky! With built-in protection against chakra hawks!), Nikkō made her decision.

    "Kurosawa," she called out. She didn't know the rest yet, but Kurosawa at least was a sweet kid, and that was what helped convince her that the team's behaviour had been thoughtless rather than malicious (not counting Kagome, the classic nerdy victim turned bully).

    "Yes, Minami?"

    Not "Captain Minami". Not yet. But she would earn that much respect from them. Minami Nikkō did not give up after a single failure.

    "Come over here," she beckoned to Kurosawa.

    She looked him in the eye. "I need a crash course in the team's abilities, history and dynamics. I realise there's a lot to learn, and that you'll have to skip a bunch of classified stuff, but if I'm going to lead this team, I need to know as much about all of you as possible. Even if it takes all night."

    Kurosawa glanced back at one of the girls forlornly. Not good at hiding his feelings, this one.

    "I know you probably had other plans for the evening, and I'm sorry for disrupting them, but this is for the mission," Nikkō said firmly. "Besides, you do still owe me for that afternoon I spent teaching you Nara hand signs."

    Kurosawa nodded, and turned to face her fully. "Before that, may I introduce you to a special technique we use for communication?"

    "Sure," Nikkō quickly said. This was exactly the kind of thing she was looking for.

    "It's called the Clear Communication Technique. The idea is that you describe what you're thinking and feeling as clearly and neutrally as possible, so that the other person can understand where you're coming from. We all use it to manage conflict situations in particular.

    "Here's an example. I regret the way I treated you during the briefing, and would like to apologise for it. I was uncomfortable with a new leader being appointed in place of Mari-sensei, who has led our team since its formation, and with whom we all have strong personal bonds, and I essentially decided to carry on as if it hadn't happened and your presence didn't matter. However, regardless of the circumstances, you are our team leader, and you deserve a certain amount of respect from us."

    Which was a load of crap. Nobody deserved respect for being a team leader. Respect was something you earned with your actions and the way you presented yourself. Even Kurosawa knew it, or he wouldn't have qualified that statement so heavily.

    Still, despite being pretty feeble as apologies went, it was one apology more than she'd expected to get, and there were times when wanting to make amends was more important than how you did it.

    "It's fine," Nikkō lied.

    "Jira—the Hokage and your old leader both trusted me with this job, and there's no way I'm going to disappoint them. So let's do this, Kurosawa. Help me to get to know our team."

    -o-
    ​
    It was nearly dawn. Despite a few meaningful looks from Akane, Hazō had been unable to extricate himself from Minami's questioning. She'd been a voracious listener, soaking in everything he'd had to tell her about the group's tactics and abilities (and giving him an OPSEC headache in the process), but actually showing more interest in the team's history and relationships, which took him by surprise. Her questions had been incisive and often difficult to answer—for example, how was he supposed to explain Keiko's circumstances without touching on clan secrets or the very personal elements of her relationship with Mari-sensei (which Hazō himself still didn't fully understand)? To her credit, Minami did make an effort not to probe too far into private matters, though the effort was complicated by Hazō's own uncertainty as to where the boundaries lay.

    When Minami finally let him go, it was with a promise that they'd make camp earlier tomorrow, to let him get extra sleep if he needed it. Hazō had refrained from mentioning that going forty-eight hours without sleep was part of Mist's standard Academy endurance training.

    She'd also pointed out, with a smile that was much more like the Minami he remembered, that dawn was a very romantic time of day—though for once his brain had somehow come up with the same insight on its own.

    "Akane," he said softly over his girlfriend's ear, positioned carefully to avoid reflexive retaliation from a ninja unexpectedly woken up.

    "Hazō," she yawned. "Is it time to move out already?"

    "Not exactly. Come to the edge of the tower. There's something you should see."

    She turned to follow him, and gasped.

    It had been the same when Hazō first saw it. Dawn covered the entire horizon. Its radiance transformed the totality of the landscape before them into something strange and enchanted, as if they'd accidentally stepped into a parallel dimension where colour itself obeyed different laws. Part of Hazō's mind wondered what scale of explosive he would need to reproduce this degree of illumination.

    "This is the most youthful thing I've seen in my entire life," Akane whispered.

    Hazō couldn't help grinning. "Welcome back, Akane."

    They turned back to watch the rising sun and, as naturally as a cloud being guided by the wind, Akane's hand found its way into his.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    After a while, Hazō had to shake himself free from the trance. They might not get very much privacy over the next few days—skytower camps had many virtues, but size wasn't one of them—and there were things to talk about before the rest of the team woke up.

    "Akane, I wanted to apologise. It's my fault we were all kicked out of Leaf, and I'm really sorry I left you behind the way I did."

    Akane smiled. "You already apologized before you left, remember? I forgave you then. I'm not going to change my mind."

    "So you did," Hazō said. "But it bears saying again. Also, there's one other thing."

    "What's that?"

    "I've actually been in Leaf for a little while now, and…"

    Akane tensed. Hazō had no idea why.

    "When I came to see you, your father was there instead. He told me I couldn't see you because I was a missing-nin."

    Akane relaxed.

    "I told him I could fix that, and he didn't believe me, but I got him to agree that if I did, you and I could be together."

    "That sounds like him," Akane laughed. "He's very protective, but secretly he believes in miracles as well.

    "And it seems like you've brought us our miracle."

    Hazō beamed. "That's right. You wouldn't believe how long we spent debating before we came up with the plan, but in the end we gave Leaf the skywalkers, and Jiraiya is marrying Mari-sensei and adopting the rest of us as clan kids."

    "Even Kagome?" Akane suddenly asked.

    Hazō hesitated. That was actually a very good question. He didn't know how old Jiraiya was, or what the age limits on clan adoption were, but in Jiraiya's place he would probably balk at adopting a thirtysomething (fortysomething?) missing-nin as his child. And that was before factoring in the fact that Kagome-sensei was Kagome-sensei.

    On the other hand, adopting Kagome-sensei as a brother didn't seem like much of an improvement.

    "I don't know," Hazō admitted. "Maybe a cousin one-hundred-and-eight-times removed?"

    Akane nodded. "And how's Noburi taking the fact that Keiko is now his sister?"

    Hazō blinked. "I… I don't know."

    Akane didn't look surprised. "You two should really talk more. You'll regret not taking those opportunities when life suddenly takes your friends away from you."

    Hazō felt a flash of guilt. "Akane, I never wanted to leave you behind. I always meant to come back to Leaf when I could."

    "It's OK," Akane shook her head, "I knew you would. And things weren't too bad here. Ino visited me in hospital. At first, I think she was feeling sorry for me, but we actually get on quite well now. She's very youthful in her own way."

    Hazō didn't know what to make of that. Akane and Yamanaka getting closer seemed like it should have implications, but he didn't know what implications, or whether it having implications was a good thing or a bad thing.

    He screwed up his courage.

    "Did you and Yamanaka…"

    "Not now, Hazō-sensei," Akane said. "I know all that is important and needs talking about, but right now," she gestured towards the rising sun, "let's catch up, just the two of us."

    Hazō paused to digest this, but failed to come to any conclusions. He decided to change the subject.

    "That reminds me. There are a few things that I don't think your father was completely wrong about. Akane, we're supposed to be equals, and I feel like having a master-apprentice relationship risks getting in the way of that, especially now we're dating. Those are power dynamics that can go badly wrong, even without us noticing. Look at all the stories of people dating their superiors and ending up exploited or abused. I'm not saying I'd ever deliberately do anything like that, but I bet many of those people didn't intend for things to get messed up either.

    "Besides, we've got a lot to teach each other, and always will. And my judgement can get pretty questionable at times. Not at all what you want in a master, and definitely something I need you to call me out on when you notice."

    Akane was silent for a long time.

    "I've been doing a lot of thinking," she said. "About the Spirit of Youth, and what it really means to me. Once I was out of hospital, I spent months training with Gai-sensei and Lee and it helped me realise something.

    "There are as many ways to be youthful as there are people. Your youthfulness isn't the same as Gai-sensei's or Lee's, and maybe it's not the same as mine. I do still think I can learn a lot from you, because when you tap into the Spirit of Youth you're the most youthful person I know, but I think if I rely too much on you—or Gai-sensei or Lee—then I won't find my own way of being youthful. And that's something I have to do if I'm going to become more than the person I used to be."

    Hazō didn't entirely understand, but he nodded anyway.

    Akane looked slightly wistful. "I'm going to miss calling you 'Hazō-sensei', though. Being master and apprentice felt like something special, you know? Something just for the two of us."

    Hazō looked down at their held hands, feeling the unfamiliar warmth in his palm. This would be most definitely a good moment for that barely-existent romantic part of his brain to unleash its powers and find an elegant way of putting what he was feeling into words.

    It was probably the power of the high-altitude dawn, but for once his prayers were answered.

    "I don't think our new relationship is any less unique," he said, "or any less special."

    "You've earned another romance point," Akane said mischievously. "Have you been practicing on someone while you were away?"

    "What?" Hazō choked out. "No, I haven't been practicing on anyone, well, unless you count training with Mari-sensei, I, uh, mean, you definitely shouldn't count that because it wasn't romantic in any way, and it now occurs to me that she and I changed to first-name basis while we were away, but that in no way means—"

    Akane held up a finger.

    "Sorry," Hazō said. "I thought I was over that."

    "That's OK. Now, I think the others are starting to wake up, so why don't we talk about something less personal? Tell me about the adventures you've had since you left Leaf."

    "Well," Hazō began, "so you know how it's possible for a sealing failure to tear open a rift in time and space into a dimension full of terrifying monsters?"

    Akane smiled fondly for some reason. "You never disappoint… Hazō. Tell me more."
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    Hazō couldn't sense Minami's prism, but he'd watched her make the seals as she casually leaned down to adjust her sandal before moving on. Around the corner, Noburi was being a cooper's apprentice endlessly berated by a drunken master. Minami's Keiko-optimised plan allowed Noburi to stand by with his barrel within arm's reach, while Akane used her passing acquaintance with Drunken Fist Style to sway in an unsteady but intimidating manner that encouraged people to leave the area in a hurry.

    Kagome, naturally, was in charge of preparing the three escape routes, two of which would be heavily mined. The third would be even more heavily mined, but with sensors close to the ground so you could use a skywalker to walk over them without tipping your hand to any pursuers. Escaping into the sky would be a last resort, at least until they'd covered enough distance from the village.

    Hazō met Keiko's eyes, gave a very subtle nod, and went in.

    The jeweller's shop was finely decorated, with a sprawling carpet on the floor, an elaborately-carved dark wood desk with an enormous serpent swaying behind it, and various fine metal items, predominantly silver, lining shelves and hanging from wall hooks.

    Wait.

    The serpent, somewhat taller than Hazō, and coloured in very telling red and yellow, hissed provocatively, displaying razor-sharp fangs. Hazō's hand went to his kunai pouch.

    "Bitey!" A low-pitched voice snapped from the depths of the shop. "Don't be greedy. It hasn't been two weeks since you ate those burglars."

    The serpent shrank back a little.

    The owner of the voice, a stooped old man with a finely-combed long grey beard and proportional lack of hair, ponderously made his way to the front desk, leaning on a cane.

    "Would you believe I thought I was buying a bird egg?" he asked Keiko wryly.

    Keiko shook her head mutely.

    "Well, I don't regret it for one second! Bitey here is like family to me, and as long as the local gangs don't learn from their mistakes, I don't even have to worry about feeding him!"

    Bitey eyed Hazō meaningfully, as if to say, "Give me an excuse, morsel".

    Hazō decided that not having a staring context with an oversized chakra predator was the better part of valour.

    "That's an impressive piece," he observed instead, pointing at a particularly hideous ivory statuette (which unambiguously depicted a fertility god, and from which Keiko was averting her eyes). "My master has one just like it."

    "I carved it myself," the jeweller said with a calculating look. "What do you think of its distinctive feature?"

    "That is what I was referring to," Hazō gave Jiraiya's countersign, willing himself to keep a straight face.

    The jeweller nodded and beckoned them to the back, leaving Bitey in charge of the store.

    "What can I do for you possibly young folk?" he asked.

    "We have a message straight from the top," Hazō said, handing over the letter.

    The old man studied the seal for a few seconds, then opened the letter with a letter-opener that looked like it had seen service as a cavalry weapon. Assuming Yumehara was right about cavalry existing in the ancient past.

    "Hmm… hmm… I see… how can a man in his position have such awful writing…"

    The old man looked up. "Well? Why are you still here? I have work to do. Lots of work, thanks to that slave-driver."

    "Actually, sir," Hazō said, "we were wondering if you needed any assistance before we moved on. We can't stay long, but if you have any messages of your own to send, or problems that could be solved with the application of short-term muscle…"

    The old man brightened up. "Well, why didn't you say so before? I've never known my colleagues to include such fine possibly young folk as yourselves. It so happens that there is one thing…"

    "We are unable to commit to any course of action in advance," Keiko said, "but we will review your request and provide you with a swift response."

    "Good, good," the old man chuckled. "Finally… See, I've been having a lot of trouble with a pest called Shirakawa. He wants to rise up in this here local criminal hierarchy, and he thinks the best way to do that is to rob this poor innocent elder's shop. Only he's too smart to get his own hands dirty, so he recruits poor sods that are down on their luck and gets them to break in instead.

    "Now, normally I wouldn't mind, since I have Bitey here, but word is Shirakawa's saving up to hire a ninja. Figures this place has more than enough in it to cover the expense, and he's not wrong. I can't be having with ninja in my shop. Troublemakers, the lot of them. But since you possibly upstanding young people seem to be an exception, maybe you'll do an old man a good turn and deal with Shirakawa for me? I'd like him brought here alive if you can swing it, or freshly dead if you can't."

    "I trust you will be able to provide adequate remuneration in exchange for services rendered outside the ordinary course of duty?"

    The jeweller sighed. "You're a sharp one. Well, if you put it that way… I do happen to have some snake venom that's of no use to me, but just right to trade with possibly murderous types like you. No prizes for guessing where I get it from. Good deal for you. Had a scholar tell me it's probably full of chakra, though what that means I neither know nor care."

    "What information can you provide about this Shirakawa?"

    "Tall bloke, black hair down to here, got a scar under his nose almost like a moustache. Talks big but has no balls—that's figuratively, as far as I know, so don't use it to identify him. His gang hangs out in the riverside warehouses."

    Hazō memorised the description. "We'll be back tomorrow. If we don't return, please assume we've been forced to deny your request due to the urgency of our mission."

    "They all leave," the old man said, "and never come back. Women especially. But that's all right, as long as I have Bitey.

    "While you're here, fancy buying your lady friend a sign of affection? Or maybe buy that awful statuette so the big man has to come up with a different code? I can offer you a fellow professional discount. Double if it's the statuette."
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    You have earned 4 XP.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    You may assume that your desired preparations have been accomplished. However, there was no time for campfire stories. Also, "Explain to Minami how the team's decision-making process works, both in non-emergent and emergent situations" was not carried out because I have no idea what it means.

    On Minami and Sōdai's Prism:​
    • Minami can share awareness with the prism within 12 metres, or substitute its vision for her own within 120.​
    • It is blocked by LoS.​
    • The prism is never visible, but anything that detects chakra will spot it. Powerful ninjutsu can disrupt it.​
    • It's inexpensive to deploy, but has a maintenance cost.​
    • It can be used while fighting, and bestows an advantage if nearby, but you probably don't want to give up your vision by using it at long range while in combat.​
    • It has certain other combat benefits, but Minami has been cagey about them as per bloodline secrets.​
    ​
    -o-​

    What do you do?

    Voting ends on Saturday 13th​ of May, 9 am New York Time.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 127: Applying a Pin
  • Threadmarks

    • "Sir," Hazō said slowly, "when you say that you want us to bring Mr. Shirakawa to you 'alive or freshly dead', it sounds a lot like you intend to feed him to your giant chakra snake-monster."

    The old man studied him, head cocked to the side in puzzlement.

    Not bothering.


    "Yep," the old man said.

    "Oh."

    "What's the problem? You're ninja, you kill people all the time."

    Hazō looked at Keiko; she raised a very expressive eyebrow. Don't look at me, the eyebrow said. I don't do plan creation and, although I'm onboard with your 'uplift all the civilians' idea, I'm not so invested that I won't make an exception here and there. Such as, just by way of example, killing a random gangster-wannabe who intends to hurt people to increase his own money and power. Especially when killing said wannabe will help a member of Jiraiya's network whom we have every motivation to help because helping his agents improves the chances of making Jiraiya look good, which will make us look good, which will improve our chances of acceptance by the Leaf elders, which will in turn improve the chances of the aforementioned 'uplift all the civilians' plan coming to fruition. Also, the entire point of this mission is, firstly, to find our new clan leader's godson, the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tails without whom our new home village is at serious risk of extinction and, second, to reinforce the position of our new clan-leader-cum-Hokage (or at least not damage it), so helping his agents would be a positive action.

    It was a very expressive eyebrow.

    Hazō sighed at the eyebrow and then turned back to the shopkeeper. "I don't suppose I could convince you to go with intimidation instead of killing, could I? I mean, if you two could make an agreement it could be good for both of you. He'd be useful to you as a source of information and to keep other gangs away. You'd be useful to him since, being a wealthy merchant, you'd be a great contact through which to dispose of property he might have acquired extralegally."

    The old man raised an eyebrow; it was far less expressive than Keiko's in that all it conveyed was amusement. "So, you prefer not to kill people but you're fine with gangsters climbing up the hierarchy where they will be running drugs, prostitution, and protection rackets? Oh, and let's not forget having people killed—shopkeepers who fail to pay the protection money, other criminals who try to muscle in on their turf, and any sheriff who tries to stop them?"

    "Um."

    Thankfully, Keiko stepped in. "As we mentioned previously, we will need to talk to our squad leader before we can decide to accept or reject your request," she said. "Given that our mission is urgent my expectation would be that if she chooses to accept the mission then we would accomplish it nearly immediately. Midnight at the very latest, so if you don't hear from us by then it means that we had to move on."

    The old man snorted and shrugged fatalistically. "Fair enough. I suppose if you're not willing to do it I'll just have to hire a ninja of my own before he hires his. Really rather not; it's expensive."

    "Right," Hazō said. "Well, we'll keep that in mind. In the meantime, do you mind if I browse around a bit?"

    "Help yourself, I'm not going anywhere."

    Ten minutes later, Hazō was starting to despair. The shop was full of gaudiness, frippery, and large and/or heavy things. None of it was appropriate for an active field ninja, much less for Akane.

    Just as he was about to give up entirely, a small gleam of silver and red caught his eye in one of the display cases off to the side. It was a single blood-red stone, a little smaller than his pinky nail, carved in the shape of a flame and set in silver. Two additional stones, pale green and carved in the shape of leaves, were held alongside, suggesting the leaves of a flower.

    "Good eye," the shopkeeper said, nodding approvingly. "One carat Earth-country ruby, silver setting, point-seven-five carat peridot complements. Lovely piece. Arrived yesterday; had several offers on it already, actually. Are you interested?"

    "Yes," Hazō said. "How much?"

    "Sixty-five thousand ryo," the shopkeeper said blandly.

    Hazō choked. "Sixty-five thousand?!"

    "If you do the job I'll knock off ten thousand. Professional discount, like I said."

    "I'll...need to get back to you."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Welcome back," Nikkō said, as Kurosawa and Mori came through the trees to rejoin the rest of the team. "Any problems?"

    "No," said Kurosawa. "Although he did ask for a side mission. There's a guy named Shirakawa trying to muscle his way up the local crime hierarchy. The contact would like us to capture him and bring him in 'alive or freshly dead'. I think he wants to feed Shirakawa to his pet chakra snake, Bitey." He paused, shaking his head in amazement at having to utter that sentence. "Anyway, he's willing to trade us some of Bitey's venom plus a store discount if we do it."

    "What does the venom do?"

    Kurosawa shrugged helplessly. "No idea. All he could tell us was that a sage had told him the venom was probably full of chakra."

    Nikkō looked to her left. "Wakahisa, you're the medic. What can you tell me? Anything useful we could do with chakra snake venom?"

    Wakahisa shrugged. "No idea, honestly. I've mostly focused on human medicine, primarily trauma, and I don't know much about poison. Still, it sounds pretty great and I'd like to get it if we could. I know the theory on how to produce antivenoms, although I've never actually done it. Alternatively, we could put it in a misterator and use it for a poison fog attack. Could be useful."

    "Hm." Nikkō paused to think. This could be good; capturing a civilian would be a nice cakewalk exercise that would maybe help the rest of them see her as more than dead weight. It was a distraction from the main mission and the Hokage had strongly underlined the need for speed, but if it was just capturing a civilian then that wouldn't take more than an hour. "Kurosawa, what did you find out about the target?"

    Quickly, the genin filled her in on the sketchy details that they had received.

    "All right, we're doing this," Nikkō said, nodding. "We'll—get the plan together and then go." Careful, Nikkō, you almost screwed that up. The point was to show that she respected the kids by inviting their comments while still maintaining a leadership position. The task was so straightforward that she'd nearly just started issuing orders before managing to redirect the sentence. "I want this done and us on the road before sundown. Mori, any comments or objections?"

    Mori seemed surprised to be asked; had she really expected Minami to not consult someone that the Hokage had announced was on the level of a Nara? Wow. They really did have a low opinion of her.

    "No objections at this time," the girl said. "Thank you for asking."

    "Right," Nikkō said, carefully suppressing a sigh. "I don't want anything complicated. In, grab the guy, out. Better if we're not seen taking him but I don't care too much as long as we aren't seen dropping him off at the shop. Suggestions?"

    "Well," Wakahisa said, "the contact—actually, what's his name?"

    Kurosawa and Mori looked at each other. "We never asked," Kurosawa admitted.

    "Okay, well, I hereby dub him Shopkeeper Riku," Nikkō said, just to put the topic to bed. "So, planning time. Basic idea: we go to the docks, find out which warehouse these idiots are hanging out in, clear it, and bring this nitwit back to Riku. Comments and suggestions?"

    "I did have a suggestion," Kurosawa said diffidently. Wakahisa snorted a snort of complete unsurprise.

    o-o-o-o​

    Noburi, Stealth:
    11d100: 431

    Mook #1, Awareness, Result: Class A failure
    Mook #2, Awareness, Result: Class A failure
    Mook #3, Awareness, Result: Class A success!

    Shirikawa, Awareness, ?d100: Class B failure
    Noburi, TacMov (drain Mook #3 before he escapes), Result: Class B success!

    Shirikawa Takao was an important man. Not as important as he intended to be, but getting there. He had gotten his first dragon tattoo (granted, it was a small one and blue, not red) and still had all his fingers after two years, so he was on the right track to climbing the ladder. He just needed to show the bosses that he could take and hold territory. Hence the meeting tonight in which his top three enforcers were getting their marching orders despite all the whining they'd been doing.

    "Look, Suzuki," Shirikawa said. "We need that shop or we look like chumps for having a hole in the middle of the block. Everyone pays. That's the rule."

    Suzuki shifted nervously. "They really don't want to pay, boss. Hirota may be gettin' on, but he's plenty tough."

    Yamasaki snorted, enjoying his fellow's discomfiture. "Yeah, and after he punched you in the face his wife hit you with that rolling pin."

    "Yamasaki!"

    Ueda was about to join in the fun of picking on his bruised-up coworker, when suddenly his head snapped up and he pointed into the rafters. "Look out! There's a—"

    A wooden disk tumbled from the ceiling, landing directly at Shirikawa's feet. It bounced once before the gangster could even start to move. Then a fogbank exploded everywhere and the world went dark.

    o-o-o-o​

    "Here you go," Minami said, dumping Shirakawa's unconscious and thoroughly-bound body on the counter. "We'll take the venom."

    "Of course, of course!" chortled the still-unknown shopkeeper, rubbing his hands in glee. "Oh, well done! Well done. Bitey will be so happy."

    "Whatever. Just pay us."

    Hazō was surprised and a little alarmed at the shifting faces of his squad leader. When they had first met her, Minami had been a bright and cheerful chatterbox, bubbly and talkative enough to drive Keiko to the edge. Last night she had been an inquisitor, digging out the truth with unrelenting persistence yet avoiding classified or sensitive areas with the precision of a surgeon. There had been a...rage was definitely the wrong word. Understanding? Resentment? Maybe some of each? Whatever, there had been something behind it, something intense. What he was seeing now was that intensity frozen into ice. The hard, uncaring assassin that civilians all seemed to think of when they thought of ninja. Very much at odds with the happy-go-lucky and cheerful Minami they had met at first.

    Who was this woman?

    While he had been ruminating the shopkeeper had dropped a small vial in his squad leader's hand. "We're done here," Minami said, turning for the door.

    Hazō cast one longing look at the ruby pin—far out of his price range, he wasn't even sure what he'd been thinking—and scrambled to follow his squad leader.

    Target Number, notice Hazō's glance:
    500

    Kagome, Awareness, Result: 145 - Class C, Total Domination!


    "What's that?" Kagome-sensei demanded, grabbing Hazō's arm. "What are you looking at? Is it a trap? Do I need—"

    "No, sensei, it's not a trap," Hazō hurried to say. He checked to make sure that Akane was already outside and lowered his voice anyway. "It's just a pin that I wanted to get for Akane's birthday. Forget it. Come on, we need to go."

    "Hang on," Kagome-sensei said suspiciously. "Why are you saying forget it? You like Akane, right?"

    "Yes, of course."

    "Then why aren't you getting her a birthday present?"

    "I can't afford it, that's all."

    Kagome grabbed him by the collar and dragged him over to the display case. He bent over, wiry fingers clenched in Hazō shirt and beaky nose an inch from the pin in question.

    "Hmph," said Kagome-sensei, straightening. "You! Sneaky counter guy! How much?" He jabbed a finger at the pin.

    The storekeeper bustled over, a professional smile on his face. "Wonderful eye, sir. Earth-country ruby with—"

    "Don't care. How much?"

    The shopkeeper's smile got a bit frostier. "Fifty-five thousand ryo, sir."

    Kagome-sensei grunted and shuffled around in his voluminous pockets for a moment before producing a storage scroll. A moment later Hazō was having to catch his balance as a seemingly enormous bag of ryo appeared from extradimensional space and plopped into his hands.

    "Here," Kagome-sensei said to Hazō. "Sixty thousand seven hundred and nineteen ryo. Buy the pin."

    Hazō blinked. "Sensei, I can't...this is your money, I can't—" He pushed the bag towards Kagome-sensei helplessly.

    Kagome-sensei shoved the bag back at him and stepped away. "Happy birthday, that's your present," he grumbled. "There, now it's your money. Go buy her something nice and it better be the pin." He turned and pushed out of the store, nearly barreling over Minami as she ducked back in to find out what was taking so long.

    Minami stopped and looked around: paranoid sealmaster leaving in a hurry while grumbling under his breath. Frosty storeowner struggling to conceal anger at said sealmaster and gratitude at his departure. Hazō standing helplessly with a giant bag of money, eyes wide and shocked.

    Minami raised an eyebrow at her subordinate. In reply, Hazō pointed helplessly at the pin. Minami nodded.

    "I'll keep her distracted," she said, ducking back outside.

    Hazō blinked. Twice. And then turned to the store owner. "I'd...like to buy this pin, please?"



    XP AWARD: 5

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, May 17, 2017, at 12pm London time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 128: Taking the Lead
  • Threadmarks
    • There should have been singing and dancing, Hazō felt, or at least triumphant background music. For perhaps the first time in its existence, Team Uplift had accomplished an operation swiftly, smoothly and according to plan, without incurring collateral damage. This day needed to go down in the history books. Yumehara needed to commence his fifth volume with a detailed account, emphasising the flawlessness of Hazō's plan and the ninja-like competence with which his team had carried it out.

    Instead, the mood seemed oddly subdued. Minami was frowning as if in thought. Keiko was staring into the middle distance with the expression of a Mori modelling and discarding scenario after scenario. Kagome-sensei was silently glaring daggers at Minami, and in Mari-sensei's absence it probably fell to Hazō to be the designated Kagome-sensei wrangler and find out what Minami had done to offend him this time. And then there was Noburi, who seemed to be quietly simmering in a depressingly familiar fashion. What had Hazō done this time, other than placing Noburi and his skills in the spotlight the way his teammate had always wanted? Couldn't Noburi grow up a little?

    At least the World's Best Girlfriend was a ray of sunshine in the gathering darkness. She flitted from teammate to teammate, joking and encouraging and diplomatically refraining from comparisons with past performance. Hazō had missed her so much.

    With the unqualified success of Hazō's last plan, he felt optimistic about its successor. They had got off to a rocky start with Minami as leader, and he accepted partial responsibility for that, but tonight he was going to do everything in his power to nip the potential conflict in the bud. Hazō was Mari-sensei's true heir, after all. He would use the skills she'd taught him to harmonise the team's relations just as she would have done.

    "You know," he said casually to Keiko, but pitched loud enough for Minami to hear, "now that Minami is team leader, we should probably introduce her to our other member."

    "There's another member?" Minami asked. "This is everyone Jira—the Hokage briefed me on. Is this some kind of riddle?"

    "You will observe," Keiko said tonelessly, "that there is nothing up my sleeve except the obligatory backup shuriken."

    She slammed her hand on the floor, making the seals look like a natural part of the same single movement.

    "Summoning Technique!"

    The responding voice was deep and intimidating, only not.

    "I heed thy call, O mighty Summ—we're in the air! Help! Why are we in the air?!"

    Pandā spun on the spot in a blind panic, observed by a bemused Minami, before settling down and hunching over awkwardly.

    "Oh, right, it's just one of the Pantokrator's Eyes. I knew that. I was just… analysing the strategic implications of the situation. Yeah.

    "So what's up, Keiko?"

    "Pandā," Keiko said gravely, "meet Minami Nikkō, assigned to lead our team by Hidden Leaf."

    "Nice to meet you, Pandā," Minami smiled, her eyes tracing Pandā's diminutive stature. "You must be a Pangolin genin?"

    "Genin? That's what you guys are, right? The bottom rank? Well, no, I'm not! I am a military liaison to the Pangolin Clan Summoner, and a full-fledged warrior of the Pangolin Clan! Underestimate me at your peril!"

    "Oh, I didn't mean any disrespect," Minami said lightly. "Everyone talks about how incredibly strong summons are, so I figured even if you were a genin, you'd still be a huge badass by human standards."

    "Well, uh…" Pandā studied the floor briefly, then looked up. "…Yes. Yes, I am."

    "So Keiko," he quickly turned away from Minami, "what's up with this new team leader? What happened to Inoue?"

    He raised his claws suddenly. "Wait, tell me she didn't get herself chopped up by a jōnin. Or splorched by a crazy sealmistress. Or caught in a scary sealing accident."

    "No, Pandā," Keiko said, her wry tone suggesting her opinion of Pandā's subtlety. "I suppose I should enlighten you as to recent events. Jiraiya, the Toad Summoner, is currently acting as Hokage. He has married Mari-sensei, and they have adopted Hazō, Noburi, Kagome and myself into a new clan of which Jiraiya is the patriarch. We are thus now formally Leaf shinobi.

    "Mari-sensei has retired from active duty, and Jiraiya has assigned us a new team leader and an urgent courier mission, which we are presently carrying out."

    "Waaait…" Pandā narrowed his eyes. "Are you saying the Pangolin Summoner is now the Toad Summoner's daughter? Oh, this is so going to throw a wasp nest into our political affairs. It's lucky we're nearly done subjugating the Condors, or the higher-ups would go bonkers.

    "As for you, new squad leader, it's nice to meet you. You're very lucky to have Keiko on your team. In fact, why didn't Keiko get made leader? I mean, these guys have been fighting together since forever, and Keiko's the smartest, and now Inoue's gone she's the strongest too, so it's a bit weird for Jiraiya to assign some newbie to head the team instead. Is this a way of snubbing the Pangolin Clan just because our summoner now officially answers to him?"

    "Pandā," Keiko warned, "I recognise Minami's authority as my commander, and will expect you to treat her with all the respect due such a position."

    "If you say so, Keiko."

    Hazō awarded Keiko a point in his head. Now it was his turn to follow through.

    "Since you're here, Pandā," he reinserted himself into the conversation, "why don't we all introduce Minami to one of our proudest team traditions? Minami, do you like board games?"

    "Board games?" Minami tilted her head sideways. "Do you mean like Serpents and Shortcuts? I guess I used to play that with my kid sister sometimes when she was little."

    "Oh, no," Hazō gave an anticipatory smirk, "we're talking about something a lot more fun."

    "That reminds me," Akane joined in, "did you guys have any cool games while you were away? I told you about The Lava Pits of Screaming Death before you… left. Did you try it out?"

    Hazō and Keiko exchanged glances.

    "Boy, did we try out The Lava Pits of Screaming Death," Hazō began to recount, turning slightly to make it clear Minami was part of the audience. "It all began when I decided to invite Nara Shikamaru to play with us one night…"
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    "I… can't… believe…" Akane choked out through the laughter, "…you let the head… of the Nara Clan… have a Candle… of Invocation…"

    "The rules said it was a one-use item for boosting your spell power," Noburi muttered. "How was I to know?"

    "Typical," Hazō gave a mock sigh. "Noburi never lets me have any fun when he's GMing, but as soon as the second most powerful man in Leaf gets behind the gaming table, it's all 'Have a non-pregenerated character sheet, Lord Nara', and 'Here are the third-party supplements, Lord Nara'. And what do I get? Benihime the Flower Princess. I wasn't even allowed to roll for my starting gold!"

    "So," Minami hesitated, "it's like a tactical warfare simulation, but lighter on the command structure and heavier on the demon lords?"

    "That's right," Noburi said icily. "Great fun until some idiot decides to ruin it for everyone by showing off how clever he is."

    That was uncalled for. What was Noburi's problem tonight?

    "Perhaps we should offer Akane the role of Game Master in honour of her return to the group," Keiko said, shooting Noburi a meaningful look Hazō couldn't decipher. "Minami, would you be interested in playing?"

    "Sure," Minami beamed. "I'd love to take part."
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    They were including her! They were including her! Her invented-on-the-spot leadership strategy was working! They were introducing her to the team's unique bonding rituals, and acknowledging her authority in front of third parties, and also Pandā was the most adorable thing ever!

    Nikkō had to restrain herself from physically bouncing, because she didn't think it would do much for her still-developing aura of authority. Also, it was late and an excess of energy might disturb her teammates as they prepared for sleep. They'd taken the entire evening to explain the basic rules to her and help her make a character sheet, which was embarrassing but inevitable. Structured learning wasn't Nikkō's strong point. Still, she liked to think she made up for it with her tenacity. If tomorrow was as uneventful as she hoped, she intended to finish studying the rulebook Kurosawa had lent her, so she could join in the "adventuring party" without making mistakes or slowing them down.

    "Minami?"

    Nikkō looked up from her bedroll to see Kurosawa standing a polite distance away, yet close enough that they wouldn't be overheard by others.

    "What is it, Kurosawa?"

    "I was hoping I could ask for your advice."

    He wanted her advice! He trusted her wisdom and experience! This was officially the best day ever.

    "Sure. Shoot."

    "It's about being a leader."

    Hold that thought. When it came to leadership, Nikkō was largely making it up as she went along, inspired only by the examples of her own past leaders, good and bad. If she wasn't careful here, she could easily get caught out—or worse, give bad advice to somebody who was counting on her.

    "I'll help if I can," she said neutrally. "What's on your mind?"

    "As a Leaf chūnin, you must have lots of experience leading different teams, right? But I was more or less a fresh genin when we left, and I only have real experience with this one team. I know them well, but I'm less good when it comes to dealing with everyone else. I have… well, a history of making a mess of things when I'm in charge."

    "Like how?"

    Kurosawa considered.

    "The most striking example has to be a mission we took in Hot Springs. To begin with, we shouldn't have taken it to begin with. We were hiding out in Tea at the time, and we weren't completely broke—there was no real reason for us to accept a mission from a shady man willing to hire missing-nin, especially when there were unknown factors like the identity of the target."

    Another reminder that they had, until recently, been missing-nin. Nikkō still didn't understand. These kids were, with one literally glaring exception, pretty nice. They didn't seem particularly dishonourable, or murderous, or evil. Kurosawa had even tried to persuade the client to let that scumbag Shirakawa live when Nikkō couldn't see any good reason to do so. And yet they were missing-nin. The worst of the worst. Irredeemable sinners who deserved nothing but to be hunted down and killed like vermin.

    And then they'd got redeemed. Jira—the Hokage himself had not only pardoned them—pardoned missing-nin—but adopted them as his very own children. She wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't heard it from the man himself.

    How was it possible to earn redemption for the kind of crime that turned a person into a missing-nin? How did they convince the Hokage that they'd been reformed? The skywalkers must have been part of it, but no Hokage could ever be bribed to accept the impure into the ranks of Hidden Leaf. Right?

    There had been a lot of gaps in last night's extended briefing. Kurosawa had cited operational security and the fact that it should be the Hokage's decision to release information which could potentially make his clan look bad. Nikkō could respect that. It wasn't like the Minami Clan didn't have some uncomfortable episodes in its history, mostly involving those Hyūga bastards. But it also left her unable to reconcile the abyssal gap between this team of weird but likeable kids and the blood-soaked, diabolical madness conjured by the term "missing-nin".

    "It was a simple information retrieval mission," Kurosawa went on. "All we had to do was go to a particular resort in Hot Springs, wait for our target to arrive, steal some records, and get away. But my planning let everyone down again. Instead of a carefully-timed stealthy infiltration, in and out with no one the wiser, we ended up killing the target and bringing down half the inn."

    Something about that sounded oddly familiar. Hot Springs. A resort. People getting killed and a building being demolished…

    "You're the Cold Stone Killers!"

    Oh, Sage's blood. It was them. She was surrounded by the Cold Stone Killers. The infamous pack of ruthless missing-nin who had violated a demilitarised zone, targeted a civilian leisure site and murdered a jōnin, not caring how many people got caught in the crossfire. The villains who had all but delivered Hot Springs into Mist's hands.

    And now her unthinking outburst had drawn everyone's attention. The Cold Stone Killers were all looking at her. They had her surrounded. Were they going to kill her for finding out their secret?

    "It was an accident," Kurosawa said softly. "Nobody was supposed to get hurt."

    Kurosawa's tone was, as far as Nikkō could tell, genuinely regretful. Her panic stepped down a notch. Obviously, them being the Cold Stone Killers wasn't a big, terrible secret. Kurosawa wouldn't have spilled something like that by accident. And the Hokage must have known when he adopted them, mustn't he?

    It was still too much for her. The Hokage had adopted the Cold Stone Killers. He'd made them part of the Will of Fire. And then… he'd put her in charge of them. She felt unsteady, like one false step would send her plummeting into darkness—and not just because she was standing on a few planks of wood hovering absurdly high in the air.

    "Nobody was supposed to get hurt," Kurosawa repeated. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. We're not killers—or no more so than ninja in general. And we're not evil the way everyone thinks we are. We just made some big mistakes."

    It was too much. She didn't know what to do. She felt lost, vulnerable, betrayed. But at the same time, if there was one thing Minami Nikkō knew, it was that she couldn't show weakness. Not as a team leader, and not to them.

    "Kurosawa… let's end it here for the night. I have last watch, so I should get some sleep now."

    They weren't going to kill her in her sleep. The Hokage had known when he'd assigned her to the team, and if she hadn't been meant to know, Kurosawa wouldn't have told her. They weren't going to get rid of her to protect their secret. In the morning, when everyone was calm and well-rested, she could ask them all the questions she needed, and hopefully whatever it was that had convinced the Hokage would convince her too. In the end, Minami Nikkō had not made it this far in life by not believing in people.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    "Stop, Kagome-sensei!"

    "Let go of me! Dumbbutt has to die!"

    Hazō clutched Kagome-sensei's wrists tight, keeping the hand with the exploding tags away from the finger ready to activate them. If he'd been a tenth of a second too late…

    It was Hazō's Mist training that had saved the day as much as anything. After Hazō realised Kagome-sensei was being too quiet, it was his ability to endure so long without sleep that had allowed him to stay awake, watching silently for any sign of trouble. And what a sign it had been.

    "Let go, Hazō!"

    "Move and die," said an icy voice from behind both of them.

    There was a faint crackle of lightning, and Hazō knew that Soudai's Prism had appeared in the skytower, and that it was far more than just a spying device.

    "This isn't what it looks like," Hazō shouted urgently, even though that was a bare-faced lie.

    "Really?" Minami hissed, her sword between herself and the pair. "Because it looks like he just tried to kill me in my sleep!"

    The crackling grew louder, and the thought flashed through Hazō's mind that Minami was about to cut them both down in an instant, before he and Kagome-sensei had a chance to stop grappling.

    That was when Noburi, mercifully awakened by the shouting, did the most brilliant thing Hazō had ever seen him do.

    He interposed himself between them and Minami, unarmed hands out in a gesture of surrender. But he was facing away from Minami as if protecting her, leaving his back exposed to her sword.​
    ​
    "We're on your side. I have no idea how Hazō fucked up this time, but we're on your side, Minami."

    Minami didn't lower her sword… but she didn't kill Noburi either.

    "Kagome, you worthless imbecile."

    Keiko was awake.

    "Can you even comprehend the consequences of killing her? Do you believe that any damage wrought by Hazō's incompetence could compare to the ruin you nearly brought upon us and our clan?"

    Compared to the lethal blizzard in Keiko's voice, Akane's was merely disoriented. "Can somebody please explain to me what is going on?"

    "Your psycho friend tried to murder me!"

    "OK," Akane said wearily. "Kagome, did you try to murder her?"

    "She has to die!" Kagome-sensei growled. "It's the only way to keep our clan safe!"

    "Kagome, you are not allowed to murder teammates," Akane said in a very deliberately reasonable voice. "Or people in general unless they're trying to kill you."

    "But she's—"

    "This isn't negotiable," Akane snapped. "Killing a teammate is betraying the team."

    Kagome-sensei flinched, but recovered. "Just because Jiraiya-stinker foisted her off on us doesn't make her a teammate. My only captain is Inoue, and always will be."

    Minami's eyes narrowed. "And you think that makes it OK to try to kill me?!"

    "Minami," Noburi said carefully, still staying completely still, "Kagome wasn't in his right mind. You are part of the team, and I'm sure we'll be able to sort all this out as long as nobody starts killing people."​
    ​
    "Thank you, Noburi," Akane said coolly. "Kagome, what has made Mimami suddenly become a threat in your eyes?"

    "I can field this one," Keiko said. "Noburi's ability to sense and drain chakra through Mist is a Wakahisa trump card, a secret Bloodline Limit technique of the kind that clans legitimately kill to protect. The Mori have such techniques as well. All strong clans do. Now that our own clan holds the Wakahisa bloodline, it is one of our clan's trump cards as well. If the decision were made to share it outside the clan, such as in anticipation of conflict with the other Wakahisa, it would be a grave decision made by the clan chief with input from all concerned."

    "And Hazō gave it away," Noburi said heavily. "Just like that, to the first chūnin that came along, without even thinking to ask me first. To a clan ninja, even."

    "As a secondary concern," Keiko added, "this kind of secret ability typically serves as the cornerstone for an eventual jōnin career, once basic skills are sufficiently developed, much like Captain Zabuza's Silent Killing or Uzumaki's shadow clones. Uzumaki was famous for his use of shadow clones, but the full properties of this Leaf forbidden technique remained a mystery. By all accounts, Uzumaki was considered unstoppable—until he was defeated instantly by a former Leaf prodigy who would have had access to the same knowledge.

    "Thus, after having Noburi's mist abilities explained to her, and observing them in action together with the misterators, Minami became capable of greatly endangering him were she ever to be captured and interrogated by a faction capable of devising a perfect counter."

    "That's right," Kagome-sensei crowed. "She could have her clan blackmail us with it, she could screw up and spill it to our enemies… anything. You can't survive as a ninja unless you're ready to kill to protect your secrets!"

    "That's enough, Kagome," Akane said in a level voice. "Anything else you say is only going to make things worse. Do you understand?"

    Kagome-sensei glared at her for a couple of seconds, but his attempt at intimidation found no purchase.

    "…fine," he muttered.

    Minami was less understanding. "He tried to murder a comrade, and you're letting him off with a slap on the wrist? You bastards."

    The sword trembled slightly in her hands. "I wanted to believe in you. But it turns out you're missing-nin after all. Once a Cold Stone Killer, always a Cold Stone Killer."

    Her grip relaxed. The blade stilled.​

    "I guess I don't have a choice."

    -o-
    ​
    You have earned 2 XP.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    What do you do?

    Voting closes on Saturday 20th​ of May, 9 am New York Time.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Interlude: Meating Mist
  • Threadmarks
    • Interlude: Meating Mist​

    "Left!"

    Adachi Eiji spun left, thrusting his naginata-cum-walking-stick into the teeth of a leaping brown-furred nightmare. The blade slid straight through the roof of the beast's mouth and out the top of its head, killing it instantly. Unfortunately, it also meant that he now had ten pounds of dead weight hanging off the end of his naginata and there was another of the bastards right behind the first one.

    He flipped the haft of the weapon up and into the creature's face, diving aside before the claws could rip his chest open. A ninja or a storybook hero would have rolled smoothly to his feet, grabbed the beast by the scruff of its neck, and ripped its head off. Eiji was a merchant; he sprawled on the ground, frantically yanking his knife from his belt and scrambling backwards on his ass and one hand.

    Before the thing could leap again Sawaya was there, her fist glowing with chakra enhancement as it smashed through the creature's spine at the base of the neck. The genin pivoted neatly around the reflexive dying snap of the teeth and punted the carcass away.

    Eiji sat for a moment, bringing his breathing back under control before he spoke. "Nice job," he said, pushing himself to his feet and tucking his knife away. He tried hard to seem casual and relaxed; sure, she was a ninja and he was a civilian, but no man enjoyed looking panicked in front of a woman. Still, he was pretty sure that the stocky, flat-chested brunette's quick glance caught the quiver in his knees. For that matter, the pounding of his heart was so loud that she could probably hear it.

    Sawaya shrugged. "What you pay me for." She turned, surveying the dead body. "What do you call those things, anyway?"

    "Ugly," Eiji said. "Come on, let's go. I want to make it the rest of the way to Mist before nightfall."

    o-o-o-o​

    It had been two years since Eiji had made the trip to Mist. It was a long trip from the Land of Vegetable to the Water Country, and dangerous. The winter caravans always made a modest profit; sure, you had to struggle not to freeze to death when the blizzards hit, but the sightlines were long with no leaves on the trees and much of Marsh was frozen so you didn't have to worry about being attacked while crossing. Plus you could put all the stock in sleighs and make good time. With fifty merchants clubbing up for protection it was affordable to hire enough ninja that the caravan could travel safe. Of course, with fifty merchants all splitting the profits there wasn't a lot of profit to be made. Especially when Tawara and Soga came along; born-rich bastards always insisted on selling statuary (in Water? How the hells do you make a profit dragging heavy statuary to Water?) and they couldn't negotiate worth a damn so they always brought the averages down. Of course, between them they had five ninja on permanent retainer so that helped balance things a little.

    Everyone had told him he was crazy to be doing the trip in summer, by himself, with just one genin for protection. He wasn't sure why Sawaya had been willing to take the job for such a reasonable rate, but he was glad she had. If he could get this cargo through...well, it probably wouldn't be retirement money, but it would set him up. Keep food on the table for Noriko and the kids. Pay off the debt he'd incurred to the sealmaster—and hadn't that been fun, bowing and scraping in front of a drunk old man with hands so shaky that he probably had to discard half his production? Pay the ninja their taxes (because of course we don't even think the word 'tribute', now do we?) for the next year so the family could afford to stay in the village. Pay the tutor for Akira and Kaiya so they could start out knowing how to read and write and figure instead of having to spend ten years working three jobs to scrape by while learning just enough that they didn't get ripped off. Probably not enough to buy out his debt to the speculators that had funded the trip, but enough to justify an extension. If he could make another trip before autumn then he'd be ahead of the game. Spend most of the proceeds buying two or three more storage scrolls, put some towards inventory, the rest for the family.

    He could almost see that future, hanging before him like a mirage. All it needed was this one trip...and for him to have guessed right about product.

    "Stop."

    The voice came from above them to the left. Sawaya clearly had not detected the speaker or she would have warned him; out of the corner of his eye Eiji watched her hand twitch towards one of the kunai on her belt before she aborted the motion.

    Very carefully, merchant and bodyguard turned in the direction of the hail. There was a ninja in the tree above them, wearing the camoflage pattern favored by the Village Hidden in the Mist. He was probably in his thirties, thin and weedy with a too-large chin that stretched the camoflage bandana covering the lower half of his face. Had he been a civilian he would have been the victim of village bullies, but the fact that he was sticking himself to the trunk of a tree meant that he was a ninja and therefore dangerous.

    "I am Adachi Eiji," Eiji said carefully. "I'm a merchant from the Land of Vegetables. I've been here the last three years with the winter caravans and now I'm trying a summer trip."

    The ninja snorted. "Uh-huh. Where's your wagon, 'merchant'?"

    "I don't have one," Eiji said. "I have a storage scroll. It's in my pack."

    One eyebrow went up. "A storage scroll, huh? Let's see."

    Moving slowly, Eiji swung his pack off his shoulder and set it on the ground. He unbuckled the straps and flipped the top back, pulling out his waterproofed groundcloth and spreading it out before removing a canvas-covered bundle. He laid it on the cloth and unwrapped it carefully to reveal the wax-enclosed wooden scrollcase inside.

    "Open it up."

    Eiji suppressed a grimace. He'd known this would happen, but still.... He nodded to Sawaya, holding the scrollcase out.

    Without a word she took the case from him and used a kunai to peel away the thick layer of wax before popping the endcap off and sliding out the vellum scroll itself. She held it out and did whatever it was that ninja did. A waist-high cloth-wrapped bundle fell out.

    "Unwrap it," ordered the Mist ninja.

    Eiji sighed, wondering how much this was going to cost him. Still, he unwrapped the bundle to reveal the massive pile of freshly-cut, still-bleeding steaks.

    "Grass-fed daggerhorn from the Land of Vegetables," he said.

    The sentry dropped from the tree and paced closer, his eyes locked on the meat. "That is...a lot of meat," he said.

    "Yes. I noticed that the market in Mist mostly sells seafood and I thought people might like something different."

    "Uh-huh." The ninja stared at the pile a moment longer before shaking himself back into focus. He pulled a wadded-up bag out of his beltpouch and threw it at Eiji. "Border tax," he said. "One quarter."

    "Sir, if you take a quarter I won't be able to make a profit," Eiji said carefully. "I won't be able to afford another trip later, and that means no more border tax."

    The ninja blurred across the distance between them, planted a boot on Eiji's chest and shoved, sending him sprawling. "Show respect! The tax just went up to a third!"

    Thankfully, Sawaya hadn't moved when the ninja attacked. Her loose and relaxed stance would have seemed casual, except that Eiji had seen her stand just like that while a pack of spikerats prowled around the edge of their camp. When the things had finally gotten their nerve up to attack, she had launched straight into the fray without even seeming to shift her weight.

    "Of course, sir! One third, as you say, sir! Please forgive me, sir!" Eiji bowed dogeza, holding it until the ninja's grunt showed that he was satisfied. The merchant quickly scrambled over and shoveled steaks into the sack. If there was still dirt on his hands from the bow then that wasn't his fault, right? And there absolutely wasn't any spit. Really.

    "Here you are, sir," Eiji said, gesturing to the sack with his eyes carefully cast down. The sack actually wasn't big enough to hold a third of the meat, but what it could hold was more than he could lift while on his knees and leaning forward.

    "What else you got in here?" the ninja asked, toeing Eiji's pack over and bending down to dump it out. He stirred through the camp gear until he found the nearly-flat pouch of ryo at the bottom. He poured the contents into his hand and sniffed in dissatisfaction at the amount. "Marsh Country ryo and not much of it. Pretty lousy merchant if this is all you've got."

    "Sorry, sir." Eiji bowed dogeza again. "Everything else went into buying the meat, sir."

    The ninja grunted again and shoved the handful of coins into his pocket. "What's in yours?" the ninja demanded. Still in dogeza with his eyes an inch from the dirt, Eiji could only assume the man was looking at Sawaya.

    "Stuff."

    The silence dragged on for several seconds, the tension palpable. Eiji risked turning his head a little so he could see Sawaya, standing casually with muscular arms crossed over her chest. Some crazy part of his brain couldn't help but notice that Noriko often wore that same disapproving expression when the kids had been getting up to mischief. Noriko was too buxom to comfortably cross her arms like that, though.

    The tension broke when the Mist ninja stepped back. "Better hurry if you're going to make the gate before night," he said, scooping the sack of 'taxed' meat up and tying the neck in a quick knot. He tossed it over his shoulder and leaped back into the trees. There was no sign that he was at all bothered by the weight of a hundred pounds of prime grass-fed daggerhorn. Thieving bastard.

    Eiji sat up, blowing out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Well handled," he said to Sawaya.

    "What you pay me for." She moved to the stack of meat and rewrapped it with deft fingers before shoving it back into the storage scroll.

    By the time she was done, Eiji had already gathered his gear up and into his pack. He swung it onto his shoulder with a practiced motion. "You heard the man," he said. "We'll need to hurry."

    She didn't say a word, just fell in beside him as he strode off down the poorly-maintained trail.

    o-o-o-o​

    They made it with minutes to spare, the city gates closing practically on their heels. Each of the gate guards had "confiscated" a pair of steaks as the "entrance fee", but that was expected. The scroll was only about half-full now, not nearly enough to pay for the trip. Still, Eiji headed straight for the night market, pausing only briefly to pull enough coin out of the moneybelt he wore under his shirt that he would be able to pay the vendor fee.

    The merchant factor who ran the night market was a civilian and a professional; he demanded only the standard rate, rattled off the standard rules, and let them get on their way.

    Eiji found an unused section of the plaza and spread out his groundcloth. Sawaya unsealed the remaining meat and then stepped back to stand guard, arms folded on her chest and eyes constantly roving.

    The meat sold quickly, as Eiji had expected. It was a luxury in Mist and the money was good. If he'd had the full contents of his scroll then he could have afforded an inn for the night and still brought that imagined mirage-future into reality. As it was...not so much.

    The pile was almost gone when Sawaya leaned in. "Ready for the rest?" she asked quietly. At Eiji's nod she reached under her shirt and unwound the bandages that were binding her breasts flat and also holding the second storage scroll to her chest. She unwrapped it, stripped the wax off the scrollcase, and unsealed the second pile of meat.

    "Fresh meat!" Eiji cried into the seething mass of potential customers. "Grass-fed daggerhorn steaks, fresh from the Land of Vegetables! Tender and juicy! Fresh steaks!"
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 129: Kagome on Trial
  • Threadmarks
    • The future balanced on the edge of Minami's readied sword. The crackle of lightning in the background faded into silence. Either Sōdai's Prism had been dismissed… or it had finished charging.

    Noburi stood exposed, his back open to a single lethal strike. Hazō was still holding Kagome-sensei's wrists, because the man would do something desperate if he didn't, and that meant neither of them could defend themselves. At this range, it would only take a single extended motion for Minami to disable the majority of their team. Then, Minami would go for Keiko, who couldn't open up distance while the air dome was still up. Akane would try to protect her, sacrificing mobility against an opponent her fists couldn't block. Would she have time to activate her Pangolin technique before Minami reached her?

    It should have been crazy for a single chūnin to be a threat to the entire team. But Lightning users were fast, and Hazō knew from his mother how a swordmaster trained to cut through target after target without losing momentum. And that was before Minami drew upon her bloodline.

    There was only time for a couple of words to prevent the inevitable, and Hazō didn't know what they were. All he could think was, "Minami, wait!"—words she'd expect and therefore disregard. His brain had let him down at the worst possible moment.

    He tensed his muscles. If he could push away Kagome-sensei in time, then maybe at least one of them—

    The impact froze them all in place.

    It took a second of disorientation to realise that the sound, flesh striking flesh, was not the opening to a final battle. Even Hazō, who was right there, didn't connect cause and effect at first.

    Akane had slapped Kagome-sensei hard.

    As tension dropped, killing intent giving way to confusion, Akane calmly informed Kagome-sensei, "You were about to say something undiplomatic."

    "I wasn't going to—"

    Akane put her finger to her lips meaningfully. Kagome glowered, but Akane's earlier dominance held firm.

    "I admit that was a good start," Minami said as she slid her sword back into its sheath. "I'd have gone for a punch myself."

    "What?" she raised her eyebrows at the uncertain looks. "I am a loyal shinobi of Hidden Leaf. I'm not going to murder the people assigned to me by the Hokage just because I can't trust them."

    A collective wave of relaxation passed through Team Uplift. Hazō let go of Kagome-sensei, slipping the explosives out of his hand in the process. Trying to disarm Kagome-sensei was like trying to drink the ocean dry, but hopefully it would at least send the right message.

    Noburi turned around, slowly and with no sudden movements, then stepped away to leave Minami plenty of personal space.

    "Thank you, Minami," Akane said seriously.

    "Whatever," Minami replied. "This doesn't mean we're friends. We have a job to do, and then we're done."

    "That is acceptable," Keiko said. "While I reiterate that we never intended you any harm, and that Kagome's act of unimaginable idiocy was in no way sanctioned by the rest of the team, I understand that you may not be able to trust us in the aftermath. If we must conduct the rest of this mission on a purely professional footing, then I am prepared to do so."

    "Well, I'm not!" Hazō burst out, surprising himself as much as anyone. "Minami, I'm not ready to give up on being comrades just because one of our teammates doesn't understand what that means yet. If you'll just give us a chance, I know we can get past this."

    "You expect me to trust anything you have to say, Cold Stone Killer?"

    "Minami," Noburi said gently, "I know it doesn't excuse anything, but there's one thing you can't doubt—Hazō stopped Kagome. He stayed up late because he was worried about your safety."

    Minami nodded. "That's true. So maybe you're not heartless killers out to get me personally. But it still means one of you is a rabid dog, and he's so far gone that you have to stand watch to stop him killing people. And rabid dogs have to be put down."

    Kagome-sensei made a sudden motion, but Akane caught his hands almost immediately.

    "Kagome, please," she said in a low voice. "We can work this out without anyone getting hurt, but you have to help. And right now the best way for you to help is by staying very still and not making anyone feel threatened. Do you understand?"

    "Fine," Kagome-sensei growled. "But I'm not a rabid dog. Dumbbutt didn't have to insult me."

    "He's right," Noburi said unexpectedly. "I know you're really angry at us right now, and you have every right to be, but we're all Leaf ninja here. We're all on the same side. Him calling you names is childish and wrong, but if you do the same thing, that's putting a wall between you and us that doesn't have to be there."

    Hazō internally winced. When they got back to Leaf, assuming they did so in one piece, he really needed to get more training from Mari-sensei. Noburi was making Hazō's halting attempts at diplomacy sound like an elephant walking on a nightingale floor.

    "There's already a wall between us," Minami said almost regretfully. "No matter how well you talk the talk, it doesn't change what you are. If the Hokage thinks your skills and bloodlines are worth taking you in despite what you are, I trust his judgement. But the fact that it's for the greater good of the village doesn't mean you stop being the Cold Stone Killers who expect one of their group to go around murdering teammates. That wall, the one between missing-nin and loyal ninja, is there forever."

    Missing-nin. Cold Stone Killers. It kept coming back to that. Hazō knew the missing-nin stereotypes as well as anyone. For as long as that was what Minami saw when she looked at them, they weren't going to get anywhere. No amount of kindness from Noburi, or reason from Keiko, or unwavering common sense from Akane, were going to make the conflict go away.

    But Hazō thought he knew what would.

    "Can I say something?"

    Minami turned towards him. "Kurosawa. Don't you get that this is a waste of time? You're the people who handed over an entire country to Mist, and then turned around and started selling weapons to their worst enemies. Every word coming out of your mouth is going to be you trying to manipulate me."

    "That's the thing, Minami," Hazō said. "You think we're evil, and you think we're competent. You're wrong on both counts."

    "I resent the implication," Keiko gave Hazō a wry look. "We have successfully completed at least two of the missions we received since we became missing-nin, and in both cases our heavily-injured teammates ultimately survived."

    Minami gave Keiko a boggled look.

    "She's not wrong," Hazō said. "Keiko, Noburi, would you mind if I explained how we became missing-nin? I think it might help."

    Noburi and Keiko looked at each other.

    "You may," Keiko said. "It would be futile to attempt to conceal our village of origin in any case. While there are doubtless unrelated shinobi in the world named Mori, just as we encountered a second Inoue on our travels, the probability of all three of us bearing names that are most common in the same village by coincidence is absurdly low."

    "Good," Hazō said. "Minami, the three of us all come from Hidden Mist."

    "Right," Minami rolled her eyes. "The most evil village. How did I not see that coming.

    "Wait," she paused. "We got taught at the Academy that Mist invented hunter-nin. We even have cooperative missing-nin hunts sometimes, because that's the one thing you can trust Mist to do without stabbing you in the back. So if you ran away from Mist and you're not the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen or something, how did they not catch you and execute you straight away?"

    "It's not that simple," Hazō explained. "We originally got sent on a large-scale mission—many genin and chūnin, and even several jōnin. But then one night, a fight broke out between the jōnin. The leader of the survivors, a man named Shikigami, told us we'd been sent on a suicide mission and that we had to run if we wanted to live. We believed him. I mean, those stereotypes you have about Mist not being a very nice place? They're all true. The three of us didn't exactly fit in back home, and it was entirely plausible that the Mizukage would decide to get rid of us by sending us to certain death."

    Minami's expression was still guarded, but less overtly hostile.

    "It turned out later that he'd been lying, incidentally. He and his co-conspirators had cherry-picked us because we had useful bloodlines et cetera, and it was never a suicide mission at all. Shikigami wanted to found his own hidden village, and he wanted to do it in a place in the Fire Country called the Swamp of Death."

    "The Swamp of Death is real?" Minami interrupted incredulously. "I thought it was just an expression."

    "Oh, it's real," Hazō said grimly. "Many people died there. We were lucky to get out alive. And the only reason we did was that when Mari-sensei decided to run away before the hunter-nin got there, she liked Keiko enough to invite her along, and the rest of us by association. I don't know what happened to Hidden Swamp after that, but it's not difficult to guess.

    "So what I'm saying is that we never intended to betray anyone. We were used by an ambitious jōnin, and we thought we didn't have any other options because our village wanted us dead. By the time we understood that we'd been tricked into becoming missing-nin, it was too late to go back without getting executed.

    "We all have people we left behind. I only have my mother, but Noburi and Keiko lost their entire clans. Even so, I'm glad we ended up in Leaf. Now that I know a different way of running a hidden village, I can see just how twisted Mist was. The Mizukage rules through fear. He talks about how all the other villages are constantly out to infiltrate us and bring us down from within, so everyone has to be on guard for traitors, and report suspicious activity to the secret police, and there are rumours that sometimes people confess to crimes when they're accused whether they're guilty or not, just so they get prison time instead of being sent to T&I. Compared to that, Leaf seems like paradise."

    Minami took time to let his words settle in.

    "So Mist really is that bad, huh? And you didn't run away because you're traitors—if I can trust your story, which is still up in the air."

    "You may cross-reference any of this with Jiraiya," Keiko noted. "While he has not explicitly stated so, I am confident that at some point his spy network will have vetted us and confirmed our backgrounds and circumstances."

    "That's true," Minami acknowledged. "Even if you can lie to me, you wouldn't be able to get anything past the Hokage."

    "Exactly," Noburi said. "You can trust his judgement, can't you? If he'd just taken us in because we were evil but useful, he wouldn't go as far as to adopt us into his clan. I mean, he's OK with us being his kids. And I guess it'll be our kids who inherit the clan someday, and he wouldn't want his grandkids being brought up by evil missing-nin, right?"

    Minami seemed to turn this over in her head. "Sage's balls. It's hitting me all over again how weird that whole thing is. No disrespect to the Hokage.

    "Hang on, though. Maybe you were all innocent when you ran away, but you're the Cold Stone Killers now. Obviously the missing-nin lifestyle must have corrupted you. In fact, maybe the Hokage's hoping to redeem you so he can use your powers for good. I mean, he is the embodiment of the Will of Fire now. Believing in people is practically his job description."

    "Minami," Akane said, apparently satisfied that Kagome wasn't going to do anything catastrophic if she took her attention off him for a second, "have you ever made a series of choices that all seemed like the best you could do at the time, but in the end they somehow landed you in more trouble than you could've imagined when you started?"

    "Not really," Minami said. "I own my bad decisions. If I've screwed up, then obviously I could've done better. I know if I don't take the time to figure out what I did wrong, I might end up doing the same thing again.

    "But," she added mercifully," I know what you're talking about. I've bailed out friends who did that before."

    "OK," Akane said. "That's what happened to us. We took a mission we shouldn't have taken because it seemed innocent enough at the time. We went into a demilitarised zone without realising exactly what that meant. We carried out an infiltration without paying enough attention to what could go wrong and how. We thought we were on top of everything. And then," her voice dipped slightly, "we got innocent people killed because we weren't prepared.

    "We thought we could just go in, steal some information and get out. Nobody would need to get hurt. Please believe me, we would never have done it if we'd understood what it would mean."

    Minami's gaze shifted uncomfortably away from the sorrow in Akane's face, and finally settled on Kagome.

    "What about him? He wasn't an innocent running away from Mist. And I'm not exactly sure what Ishihara's circumstances are, but Kagome sure as hell isn't a Leaf-nin either. He's a traitor and a missing-nin if I've ever laid eyes on one."

    Hazō took a deep breath.

    "I can't tell you about Kagome's background. In fact, I've probably spilled enough of other people's secrets for now. But when we'd found him, he'd been living in the woods for a very long time, and he was lost and alone, exiled from everything he'd ever known. Whatever made him a missing-nin to begin with, I think that must be enough payment for the crime."

    Minami shook her head. "If he's willing to murder his team leader in her sleep, then I can't imagine what he could've done in his home village. Probably blew up a few orphanages because they were the wrong colour. Whatever he did, crimes don't just magically disappear because you run away from them."

    "Didn't you say the Will of Fire was all about redemption?" Hazō objected.

    "The Will of Fire is about protecting your loved ones and the village," Minami said firmly. "If you betray the village—say, by trying to murder your team leader in her sleep—then you've rejected the Will of Fire and everything it stands for. And the Will of Fire is also about eliminating threats to the village, which right now means him."

    "Minami," Hazō pleaded, "Kagome-sensei isn't an enemy. He spent many years living alone, afraid of everyone, and with good reason. His paranoia was probably the only thing that kept him alive. I'm not saying that excuses what he did, but please try to understand why he did it. He doesn't hate you—he's just scared that you're going to hurt the people he's loyal to.

    "In its own way, isn't that like the Will of Fire? I want to believe in that ideal, and I want Kagome-sensei to be able to believe in it too, even if we're both only human and bound to fall short of it from time to time."

    "Those are pretty words," Minami said, "but don't taint the Will of Fire by association with the likes of him. No matter how scared or how lonely I got, I'd never become the kind of person to hurt a comrade. If Kagome has, then he doesn't deserve to be a Leaf ninja."

    "He's not your enemy, Minami!" Hazō insisted, his hopes sinking. "He was acting to protect us, not to hurt you. He's just… sick. He's spent so long in constant danger that now violence is his only response, no matter what the threat. It's not about betrayal or comrades or anything you're thinking of. We'll get him to understand that you're not a threat, and then he can help us carry out the mission. I promise that we'll deal with this properly once we're safely back in Leaf, but right now we need him with us. He's not a danger to you anymore, and he's a valuable teammate."

    "So what you're saying," Minami said slowly, "is that Kagome wasn't trying to kill me because of some calculated murderous plan, but because he's insane and has an instinct to kill people if they seem like a threat?"

    Hazō mulled this over. "'Insane' is putting it a bit strongly, but essentially, yes."

    "Right," Minami said in the voice of a woman coming to a conclusion. "We're heading to the nearest outpost and handing Kagome over to a relief squad, who will escort him to Leaf. Once we finish the mission, we'll come back and serve as witnesses for the trial."

    "You can't!" Hazō shouted. "Haven't you been listening to what I've been telling you?"

    "Yes," Minami said levelly, "I have. You're saying that he's not in control of himself, and reasoning with him isn't going to change the way he thinks. That means the only solution is to remove him from the mission as soon as possible."

    "No," Hazō said, "wait. Let me talk to him. Kagome-sensei can't lie to save his life—once he understands why trying to kill you is wrong, you'll see it."

    Hazō looked Kagome-sensei in the eye and willed himself to feel all the rage and frustration he'd been suppressing at Kagome-sensei's betrayal. Not his betrayal of Minami—that was its own issue—but his betrayal of Hazō and the team, deliberately ignoring their opinions on something as dire as murder. They deserved better, after all the love and kindness and sheer trust that they'd shown him all this time.

    "I've had enough of your behaviour! I am sick of the way you dismiss other people by calling them stinkers or Dumbbutt or other stupid nicknames! It's a cheap trick to let you stop seeing other people as humans, and it's wrong, and it stops now. It's because you let yourself do that to people that you think it's OK to kill them, as if calling Minami 'Dumbbutt' somehow makes her less of a person so you don't have to feel bad about killing her. Well, attempted murder doesn't stop being wrong because of a nickname or two.

    "Yes, we've all done things that were wrong, because in the ninja world it's kill or be killed. That doesn't make killing right, but it does sometimes make it the only option.

    "This time, it wasn't the only option. It should never have been an option at all. You thought there was some hypothetical scenario in the distant future in which some actions Minami could possibly take might bring some degree of harm to us, and that was enough for you to try to murder a fellow member of our new village!

    "Fuck that. What you did wasn't just wrong. It was unacceptable. You tried to kill a person, a comrade, on the off-chance that something might someday go wrong. It's unacceptable, it's insane, and if you ever try to pull something like this again, I will not forgive you.

    "While we're at it," Hazō added more generally, in a calm tone of voice that belay the boiling anger within, "fuck the idea that it's legitimate to kill innocent bystanders who did nothing wrong to protect clan secrets. Their lives matter as much as anyone else's."

    "Actually, Kurosawa," Minami eventually said into the stunned silence, "I think Kagome is a psycho who belongs behind bars at best, but I do get why he tried to do what he did. Clan secrets are a big deal. If we didn't protect them, that could be the end of the clan. In the wrong place at the wrong time, or if enough clans lost their secrets, it could be the end of the village. I'm not saying it's the way things should be, but an innocent person getting killed once in a while is a small price to pay for preventing the carnage that happens when a clan goes down.

    "I know what I'm talking about here. The Minami used to be Hyūga until something went wrong with the bloodline. Then they wanted the 'defects' gone, and there were only a few of us. The only reason we survived was that we'd figured out enough of our abilities to put up a good fight. If the Hyūga tried to kill us, they'd be starting an inter-clan war under the Hokage's nose.

    "But if they'd had our clan secrets… if, say, Sōdai had changed sides and spilled the beans about his research… they could have found counters and just assassinated us one by one. And there's no one like a Hyūga for timing an assassination so there are no witnesses."

    "I am inclined to concur," Keiko said. "Even without considering the Mori bloodline, my clan—my… former clan—holds a great deal of restricted knowledge that could be critically disruptive to Mist's economy and general infrastructure were it to fall into the wrong hands. Even the Mizukage are not trusted to handle it safely."

    "Sorry, Hazō, got to go with the majority here," Noburi agreed. "You know the Wakahisa use... secret means in order to let us do the whole chakra-water-barrel thing. Imagine if an enemy got hold of those means, and figured out a way to cut the link between a ninja and his barrel from a distance. That's it. No more Wakahisa Clan."

    "You see?" Kagome screeched, his pent-up feelings finally giving him the strength to ignore Akane. "You can't just say 'oh, Dumbbutt is so special that we'd better put our whole clan on the line for her'! You can't just say 'well, I can't see how this could go wrong, so I may as well let it go'! That's the kind of thinking that leads to dead sealmasters! If you want to survive, you Take. No. Risks!"

    "Ah, yes," Keiko said coolly. "Hazō, your continuing trend of verbal incompetence is an embarrassment to this team. While there must presumably be some matters in this world that can be resolved through the naïve application of morality, the majority need to be addressed through actual intelligent thought.

    "Kagome." The temperature of her voice, already uncomfortable, dropped several dozen degrees.

    Kagome looked at her warily.

    "Your behaviour is so disconnected from reality as to be the very definition of delusional. Did you imagine that killing a Leaf ninja would make us safer? Then consider a few of the likelier scenarios.

    "Leaf discovers our actions. As comrade-killers are a liability to say the least, we are immediately banished from Leaf, leaving Mari-sensei and all our hopes of lasting safety behind.

    "But no, that is foolishly optimistic. We already know Leaf's response to those who threaten the lives of its citizens. A killbox.

    "Then perhaps Jiraiya can intervene on our behalf? Is it not his clan that we protected? But Jiraiya's authority is already unstable. His clansmen committing murder shows that he exercised poor judgement in adopting them, and that he cannot keep them under control. He will be stripped of the Hokage position in short order, at the end of his emergency term if not before."

    Cold fire entered Keiko's voice, a mercifully rare element capable of destroying the world if unleashed in sufficient quantity.

    "What happens when a leader is gone with no replacement prepared? A power struggle that leaves the village hopelessly vulnerable. If Uzumaki were recovered, the village might be able to protect itself, but wait! You have just sabotaged the mission that might make that recovery possible, and cast down the man responsible for seeing it through.

    "Who will invade? Mist is weakened but craving revenge. Cloud, its likely ally, is at full strength. Rock has been building its forces for years, and even Sand might be tempted given their eternal need for more arable land. If invaded under such circumstances, the village will certainly fall. Will we be killed? Imprisoned? Locked in a sealing factory for the rest of our lives? The imagination runs wild!

    "'We can conceal her murder!' cries the passionate optimist apparently dwelling within your frame. Will this conviction withstand questioning at the hands of Jiraiya? The Yamanaka? Leaf's Torture and Interrogation Unit? For recall that we are missing-nin, newly adopted and not yet trusted, and perhaps there are even those who blame us, the skywalker-givers, for the losses incurred on Jiraiya's ill-fated mission. Certainly, there are those who will look for any misdeeds on our part, so as to bring down Jiraiya and be strengthened by the fall of an enemy. We will be questioned. We will be asked how Minami came to perish on a low-threat courier mission, while under orders to avoid any engagements. What foe outraced our skywalkers and penetrated our collective defences so devastatingly as to leave no body to recover? Will you, Kagome, lie with the artifice to deceive them all… for the rest of your life?

    "If not, I hear the killbox beckoning us all."

    Kagome-sensei's eyes were hollow and his hands were flicking against each other convulsively, as if trying to prime exploding tags that weren't there. After a second, he fell to his knees.

    Keiko gazed down on him as his body was racked with sobs, and there was nothing in her gaze but dispassionate satisfaction.

    "I'm so sorry," Kagome-sensei blubbered. "Dumb—Minami, please forgive me! I didn't think!"

    He crawled over to her, grabbing at her ankles.

    "Please don't tell Leaf what I did! Please! I'll do anything! I… seals! I can give you seals! I know lots of seals. I'll give you as many as you like! Custom seals! Special seals! Secret seals! I'll invent new ones just for you! I'll sleep tied up hanging upside down from a tree if it'll make you feel better! I'll tell you every conspiracy I know! I'll… I'll… Just tell me what I can do so this doesn't hurt my team!"

    Minami looked down at Kagome-sensei bemusedly. "Kind of hard to hate him when he's like this."

    She sighed. "All right. Get up, you crazy idiot.

    "You guys, I'm putting you on probation. Still not one hundred percent convinced you're not evil, but since the Hokage's willing to give you a chance, I will too. Don't do anything to make me regret it.

    "And Kagome, just so we're clear... you're my bitch now. I haven't decided yet how you're going to make up for trying to murder me in my sleep, but believe me, there's going to be a lot of making up involved."

    She leaned down and pulled Kagome-sensei to his feet.

    "There's a deal, though. I'm going to drop the attempted murder from my report, and you're going to seek help. Professional help. You think it's OK to kill people just because it seems like a good idea at the time, and I will not have someone like that wandering around my village unsupervised. The Hokage will know what to do. Maybe the Yamanaka can straighten you out."

    "Of course," Kagome-sensei stammered. "Whatever you say!"

    Hazō suspected that Kagome-sensei hadn't quite processed the fact that he'd just potentially agreed to undergo a Yamanaka mind-scan, and possibly worse. He decided he wouldn't be the one to point it out.

    "Oh, one more thing," Minami said. "Mori? You're fucking scary. Remind me not to get on your bad side."

    "That is the highest praise anyone has offered me in months," Keiko said demurely.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    You have earned 1 XP.
    ​
    -o-
    ​
    What do you do?

    Voting closes on Saturday 27th​ of May, 9 am New York Time.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 129.1: Kagome's Apology
  • Threadmarks

    • It happened at breakfast, after Noburi had finished helping Kagome-sensei recover from morning exercises with Minami.

    The sealmaster rose shakily from his seat, and stood so that the rest of the group was facing him in a rough semicircle.

    "I…" he mumbled. "I just wanted to… I… I wanted to say…"

    He trailed off. His mouth opened and closed helplessly as if he was a hooked fish gasping for water.

    Finally, his eyes lit up as if he'd hit on an idea. His gaze snapped into the middle distance.

    "I mishandled a risk assessment and implemented a personal project without seeking feedback from the rest of the team," he pronounced like a Leaf printing press stamping words onto paper line by line. "I… how'd it go… I humbly apologise for this violation of procedure and am prepared to accept any disciplinary measures my supervisors deem appropriate."

    His eyes refocused again. "I thought I was doing the right thing," he said quietly but clearly. "I really did. I thought getting rid of Dumbbutt, uh, I mean Minami, was just eliminating another risk, like we do every day. But I guess in all my years alone, I forgot that… there's a reason sealmasters work in groups. It means if one person screws up, somebody else might notice before the trial phase.

    "I… Despite everything, when it counted, I forgot what it meant that we were a team.

    "Back at the lab, they'd put me on meatbag duty for this—if I was lucky. I don't… I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, but I swear I'll find some way to make it up to you."

    Kagome-sensei bowed, and bowed deep. The gesture of abject submission from Hazō's master made Hazō feel a little sick inside.

    "I'm so sorry," Kagome-sensei said to the skytower floor. "Please don't hate me. Please don't kick me out."

    The team exchanged glances. Nobody knew what to say—or, in Hazō's case, even how to feel.

    Noburi was first to recover from his stupour, using the time-honoured technique of deliberately missing the point.

    "Meatbag duty?"

    Kagome-sensei took this as his cue to unbow.

    "Front-line tester," he explained matter-of-factly. "Means that when there's a sealing failure you get blown up first, and everyone else either takes notes or runs like hell, depending."

    "Apology accepted," Keiko said seriously, but Hazō recognised an ironic smile dancing somewhere behind her eyes without quite making its way to her mouth. "While we do not intend for you to atone for your act of unimaginable folly with your life, understand that there will be consequences, and I am not speaking only of the slow, laborious and painful process of rebuilding trust with those you have wronged.

    "On which note," she turned to Akane, her tone changing not a jot, "I believe it is now your turn to carelessly place the team in mortal peril. I ask only that you do so after I have gained access to the Nara Clan Library."

    Minami just looked between them, taking in everyone's expressions of calm acceptance. "You people really are weird."
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 130: Secrets
  • Threadmarks

    • He'd been silent long enough; it was time to speak the truth and make his teammates hear it.

    Hazō took a deep breath to brace himself. "Noburi," he said. "I'd like to apologize."

    Across the easily-storage-sealed hibachi that the team used for cooking dinner while sitting a mile in the air, Noburi's chopsticks paused. The former missing-nin looked at his teammate for a moment, then shrugged. "Sure, whatever. Apology accepted." He went back to eating.

    Hazō blinked. "No, really. I mean it. I'm sorry. Minami is our squad leader but I should not have revealed your secrets in front of her. I fucked up badly."

    Noburi sighed. He shot Hazō a meaningful look, then subtly nodded towards an attentive Minami.

    Hazō shook his head, refusing to back down. "Minami, I'm saying this with you here because I feel like it needs to be dealt with immediately but I don't want you to think that I'm sneaking around behind your back whispering with the others. Plus, I need you to understand it as well. My bloodline is from a clan but I wasn't raised in the clan. Momma was kicked out for marrying poppa. I have no idea what it's like to grow up in a clan, and so I didn't really absorb the idea about clan secrets."

    "Or secrets in general," Noburi mumbled into his noodles.

    Hazō grimaced. "That's...not unfair. I really am sorry. I wanted us to be a team—Minami, I wanted you to be part of that team. I was hoping that if we could do a mission together, if we could work together to make a plan and execute on it, then maybe we could start to build some trust."

    "And, of course, revealing my clan secrets and telling an outsider—no offense, Minami—"

    She shrugged. "None taken."

    "—revealing my clan secrets and my ace-in-the-hole technique, the legendary technique that I figured out on my own with no instruction, the thing that showed I was mastering my bloodline, the trick that could have saved my ass in a fight...yeah, revealing that to the first chūnin to come along, for the sake of taking out a civilian when we could have just walked in and punched him, that was definitely the right way to promote team bonding."

    "I don't know what else to say, man. I'm really sorry. Especially since I didn't even realize the magnitude of the screwup until you all explained it."

    Noburi sighed tiredly. "Hazō, you're a smart guy and a loyal teammate. You saved us from the spiderbear back in the Swamp. You convinced Kagome to join us; he's saved our lives any number of times, albeit that's kinda balanced by the fact that he almost killed our squad leader, got us all executed for treason, indirectly caused the destruction of Leaf, and possibly plunged the Elemental Nations into World War Four—"

    Minami snorted quiet amusement.

    "Sorry," Kagome mumbled, looking at his feet.

    "—so maybe you don't get credit for that one. You saved us when we got captured after the Liberator mess. You invented the misterators, which really help me punch above my weight class, and I owe you for that even though you did leak the secret and I am not thinking about that because I want to stay positive instead of furious and you came up with the idea for skywalkers, and you cast the deciding vote for going to Leaf. That's worked out pretty well for us. I'm trying really hard to remember all these things because my alternative is to hate you so much that I punch you in the face until your brain turns to pudding. I don't want to do that. We're a good team, even if you are a fucking idiot and I want us to stay a team. So I'm really trying to focus on the positives here."

    "Thank you," Hazō said, trying hard not to seem shocked at his teammate's maturity. "I just...I know how hard you worked to master your technique. If you had revealed skywalkers to Jiraiya before I was ready to do it, I'd be devastated. I messed up and I know it. I really want to make this right. I'll do whatever it takes."

    "Hazō..." Noburi said, trailing off. He sighed, then shook his head tiredly. "What is it with you and secrets, huh? You can't manage to keep even one thing between your teeth? I mean, it's not like I've been telling Minami that you wet the bed until you were nine—"

    Minami blinked.

    "—or how you're such an idiot about girls that Pandā knew you and Akane were in love before you did—"

    Keiko choked on her stir fry. Hazō blushed furiously. Akane, sitting close enough beside him that their thighs touched, just lifted her chin defiantly and made only a cursory effort to hide the small smile playing across her lips.

    "—or how you went and cozied up to Yamanaka like, two minutes after telling Akane you were into her, all without even realizing that you were doing it—"

    Hazō's eyes got wide and he looked at Akane in panic. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him.

    "—or about that time when Mari-sensei told us that the clan elder had said we couldn't talk to him anymore, and five minutes later you proposed that we go talk to him. Or how we call you Mr. MEW because you thought that instead of making a secure sleeping area with Multiple Earth Wall it would be better to sleep under canvas and get eaten by a chakra monster so that we didn't leave evidence of where we'd been for some random person who might theoretically at some point in the future possibly stumble across where we'd slept weeks earlier after we were hundreds of miles away."

    Minami laughed.

    "Noburi, I—"

    "No, no, it's okay! I understand that lying has always been hard for you. I mean, that old woman in Iron spotted you as a ninja within two sentences."

    Keiko coughing got worse; Minami pounded her on the back to help her not suffocate. Both of them were having trouble hiding the laughter that struggled to burst out.

    "And of course there's the fact that the whole reason you got assigned to the original mission that made us all missing-nin was because you cheated the Yakuza and got caught by a civilian."

    "Uh, Noburi...."

    "Oh, and then there was the time you wanted to tie Keiko up and dominate her."

    "You what?!"

    "Do not be offended on my behalf, Minami. I was quite enthusiastic about the idea."

    "It wasn't like that! That's not how it went at all!"

    Akane shook her head sadly. "Hazō, it's not youthful to lie and especially not to oneself. You did in fact want to tie Keiko up and make her follow your commands."

    Hazō glared at the World's Worst Girlfriend with a look made of equal parts shock, horror, and betrayal. "What do...you can't...why...? Minami, I didn't—!"

    Minami sat back, raising her hands. "I'm not judging," she said. "You guys are grownups, you can make whatever sort of relationships you want. You wouldn't be the first teammates to share a bedroll."

    "That never happened!"

    "Oh, speaking of bedrolls—Kagome, remember that time that Hazō got all fussed about preparing for winter and telling us how we should winterproof the shelter and make winter clothes and everything?"

    Kagome was clearly surprised to be addressed; his head snapped up and he looked around the group nervously. "Yeah?"

    Noburi looked at Minami and rolled his eyes conspiratorially. "Kagome had been living in the woods for years and knew everything there was to know about winter survival. Mr. Mew here hadn't done any rough-field camping since the Wilderness Survival class at the Academy, but suddenly he's all full of ideas about how we should go to some of the locals to get help with winterproofing our quarters."

    Minami smiled back, the expression a little uncertain. On the one hand, Noburi was sharing the joke with her and inviting her into the social circle. On the other hand, he was doing it at least in part to use her as a weapon against Hazō. On the stabbing hand, it was only in part—some of it was clearly a genuine invitation to be part of the team's social circle. "It's not too surprising," she said. "Hazō, sounds to me like you were trying to be proactive and take care of your team but didn't think it all the way through. Kami know that I did that enough when I was starting out."

    "Oh?" Hazō asked, seizing upon the olive branch with desperate hands. "Tell us about that."

    "Well, there was this one time...."


    XP AWARD: 4

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, May 31, 2017, at 12pm London time.




    Author's Notes:

    Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the USA during which we honor the memory of those who fell in service to the American armed forces. The holiday is technically tomorrow but my co-founder and I are having the Memorial Day picnic today, so I will be spending the rest of the day preparing, celebrating, and cleaning up. As such, I'm cutting the update here.

    @Traiden, you are the only MfD player that I specifically remember as being in the military, although I'm sure there are others. To you and all of our other military players in particular: thank you for your service. To all those men and women throughout the world who serve with honor as protectors of their nation, whatever nation that might be: thank you for your service. To all of our non-military players: please join with me in honoring those who protect us.




    A week has passed in game. You have completed all the dropoffs in River, collecting several more messages along the way. At the request of one of Jiraiya's agents you retrieved a young man and his sister from a hamlet two hours (as the ninja runs) away and brought them back to the agent's shop; all three seemed enormously relieved to see each other. They vanished into the back room and ten minutes later Jiraiya's agent came out with much grateful bowing and a stack of letters+delivery instructions.

    You are currently camped out, on the ground and inside a MEW fortress, on a tiny hill in the Land of Wind. Minami is inside the city and you are under strict orders to wait for her without attracting attention or—and she was very firm about this—killing anyone. She has no skywalkers or skytowers with her and you are under orders not to use yours unless directly attacked by ninja.

    You are alone with your team, surrounded by hundreds of miles of rolling desert, with nothing to occupy your thoughts except for watching the occasional bug crawl across the wall of your fort. What do you do?
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • [probably AU] Interlude: Endangering Arito
  • Threadmarks
    • Interlude: Endangering Arito​

    Knock. "Headmistress?" Knock, knock. "Are you free, Headmistress?" Knock, knock, knock.

    Jin put her brush down with a sigh. There was only one reason Furuta would be knocking on her door right now. "Come in. What did he do now?"

    "The little cheater figured out the locking seal on the teacher's cabinet. Got in and dug out tomorrow's exam. We need to—"

    Jin raised an eyebrow. "No he didn't."

    "Yes, Headmistress, he did. I saw him coming out of the teacher's lounge myself, and when I looked in the cabinet the exam had been moved in the stack."

    "There is no way that that boy needed to see the exam questions ahead of time. You know that, I know that, and he knows that. He was up to something else."

    Furuta paused, his fussing derailed. "I don't see what...none of the other cabinets were disturbed, so he wasn't after any of the advanced instruction manuals. That one is just the introductory course materials—exams, assignments, labs, that sort of thing." He thought a bit longer. "I'll check. Regardless, this is the third time this month he's acted out like this. We can't have this. He needs to be—"

    Jin rubbed her face tiredly, reminding herself that Furuta was a brilliant sealmaster and an excellent teacher with a perfect safety record and the school was very lucky to have him, even if he was a stuck-up egotistical snot who carried grudges to the ends of the earth. "Furuta, the locking seals on those cabinets are simple exactly because we want to see who will have the initiative to break them. Now go figure out what he actually did."

    Furuta's face imploded into disapproval. "Yes, Headmistress."

    o-o-o-o​

    Done, Jin thought, setting her brush down in satisfaction. Clean desk, no more paperwork, and still time for six hours sleep before the next batch came in. Best of all, Furuta hadn't been back to whine at her about—

    Knock knock knock knock knock. "Headmistress! Headmistress! Are you there, Headmistress?!"

    Oh, look. Think the demon's name and he shall appear.

    "Come in, Furuta." She composed herself carefully, hands clasped patiently on the desk and face composed in neutral stillness that completely masked how much she wanted to throttle the vengeful little weasel. She had been this close to bed!

    Furuta stomped in, one hand waving a fistful of papers and the other clamped around the wrist of a ten-year-old boy with messy black hair and the decidely rumpled look of someone who had been dragged awake minutes earlier.

    Furuta was too agitated even to sit. He shoved the boy into a chair, dropped a stack of loose papers on Jin's desk, and paced up and down while gesticulating wildly. "Look at this! This is an Article Seven violation! This little beast is a menace, and he has no respect for the art!"

    Jin picked up the papers and sorted through them. "What am I looking at?"

    "Mentor assignments! The brat changed the mentors!"

    Jin went back through, carefully crossreferencing names to figure out what had Furuta so worked up. "I'm not seeing it. Every team has a mentor, the projects are all still the same...." She frowned. "Hang on, Arito was assigned to mentor the senior team?" She barely caught herself from saying 'He doesn't have the skills for that'; one did not criticize teachers in front of students, after all. Still, the senior team was doing a containment project and there was no way that Arito should be allowed within a mile of that.

    "I know! This is a clear-cut violation of Article Seven: Deliberate Endangerment. The little beast is a third-form student so he's too advanced to be simply expelled. We'll need to execute him, and I'm thinking—"

    "Hold on a moment, if you please." She turned to the slouched ten-year-old who was the subject of the debate. Despite the fact that one of his teachers was stomping around yelling about executing him, Kagome looked more sullen than afraid.

    "Kagome, did you switch Arito-sensei's assignment?"

    "Of course he did! He obviously wanted Arito dead, so—"

    "Furuta. A moment, if you please," Jin said, a hint of steel in her tone. "I was speaking to Kagome. Young man, did you switch the assignments?"

    "Yeah."

    "I see. Why?"

    "Stinkyhead's a dummy. Suzuki-sensei is much better."

    Jin frowned. Undiplomatic, but completely accurate. There were never enough sealmasters, much less sealmasters willing to teach; the school couldn't afford to turn anyone away if they were remotely competent, but Arito was right on the cusp. "Kagome...Arito-sensei was never your teacher. How do you even know what he's like?"

    "Saw him at lunch, bragging to some seniors about how he had connected a ninth-dimensional inverter directly to a Fumiwara matrix because it was easier than using a bisection for chakra suppression. 'Just as good', he said. Stinking idiot."

    Jin frowned. It was...probably true that hooking an inverter to a Fumiwara would be sufficient, but it definitely wasn't as stable as a full bisection. That was remarkably advanced theory for a third-year to understand. More importantly, if Arito really had been skimping on safety precautions....

    "Kagome, why didn't you bring this to the attention of one of the teachers?"

    Kagome glared at her through his hair. "Like they'd listen to me? 'No need to worry, Kagome.' 'Three redirections is enough, Kagome.' 'Two hundred feet is far enough, Kagome.' Stinking idiots."

    Jin raised an inquiring eyebrow at Furuta. The fussy little man waved dismissively. "The boy is ridiculously paranoid, Headmistress. He disrupts class constantly, always demanding more—"

    "Oh yeah?! It wasn't my team that got turned inside out last year, was it, poopface?!"

    "Kagome! You will show respect for Furuta-sensei!"

    The boy folded his arms and sank down farther in his seat. "Don't see why. His face was full of poop. Probably got into his brain, too."

    Jin forced herself not to smile. The incident had been a tragedy and it was only Furuta's quick thinking that had prevented it from being a disaster when the inversion nexus started growing. Still, once the furor had died down it had been pretty funny to see Furuta cursing up a storm while flapping his arms in rage; being covered in the contents of a rapidly-inverted intestine would have upset anyone, but the fussy and fastidious teacher had been outright apoplectic.

    "Kagome," she said, letting ice creep into her tone, "you will be respectful of your teachers. Apologize."

    The boy tried to match her stare and couldn't. He flicked a still-sullen glance at Furuta, then looked down again. "Sorry I said the poop got in your brain," he mumbled.

    "Headmistress—!"

    Jin held up a hand to cut him off. "Kagome, your attitude is not acceptable. We will deal with that in a minute, however. I still want to know why you endangered Arito-sensei."

    For the first time, Kagome's sullen expression broke; it was replaced by a confused frown. "Huh?"

    "You said that you thought Arito-sensei was a 'stinking idiot', but you assigned him to the senior team. The senior team's project is dangerous; if you thought that Arito-sensei wasn't sufficiently careful, why did you assign him there?"

    Baffled shrug. "That was where Suzuki-sensei was."

    Jin blinked. Something was really not adding up here. "What did Suzuki-sensei have to do with this?"

    "She's good. Duh."

    Well, that was true enough. As far as Jin was concerned, Suzuki was a gift straight from the kami. In ten years, not a single student had died on Suzuki's watch and there had been remarkably few maimings. Not even one breach to the Out, either.

    Hang on. Kagome wasn't saying that he'd assigned Arito to the senior team, he was saying that he'd switched Arito for Suzuki. Why? Arito hadn't been Kagome's team mentor.

    "Why would you switch them, Kagome?"

    The boy squirmed uncomfortably. "Hoga's in second year," he mumbled.

    A picture of a fat boy with an earnest face and mediocre skills flickered through Jin's mind. "How does Hoga fit into this, Kagome?"

    "Stinkyhead was supposed to be Hoga's team mentor," Kagome mumbled. "Hoga's nice. Gave me half his sandwich when Taira threw my lunch in the muckheap."

    Jin shook her head; she wasn't sure if she was amused, appalled, or something completely else. Still, one thing was clear: this had not been an Article Seven. Kagome had been trying to keep Hoga safe, not endanger Arito. Sure, his actions could theoretically have gotten Arito and the senior team killed, but in practice there were plenty of other safeguards in place. Among them the fact that Headmistress Jin would have noticed the assignment and changed it the moment the first design proposal was submitted for review.

    "All right, I've heard enough," she said. "Kagome, you do not seem to understand what you've done. Allow me to explain a few things to you...."


    XP AWARD: 0

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Saturday, June 3, 2017, at 9am New York time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 132: Conversations Like Sand
  • Threadmarks

    • "Water?" Hazō asked tentatively, holding out the canteen as Noburi finished his kata.

    "Sure." Noburi took the canteen and splashed some on his sweaty face before pouring half a liter of the rest down his throat. "Aaaah. That's good. Did Akane chill it?"

    "Yup. Nice having an icemaker handy, right?"

    Noburi nodded. "Makes the desert a lot easier. Hope Minami gets back soon so we can get out of this giant suckhole."

    Hazō nodded. "No argument from me." He paused, reviewing his wording before continuing. "Noburi, I have something that I feel is very important and would like to discuss with you. I am hesitating to do so because you are justifiably angry with me over my OPSEC breach and I am concerned that I will frame things improperly and make you angrier. Still, I do have some things I'd like to say. Would this be a good time, or should I approach you again later?"

    Hazō had to give Noburi credit; the other ninja actually thought about it instead of giving a knee-jerk reaction. "Yeah, this is a good time. I'm not all that angry anymore, I guess. If I were to use your Clear Communication no Jutsu, I think I would say that I am not actively angry, but I am still resentful. I suspect I'm going to be more careful about sharing secrets with you in the future, although I recognize that that's a problem and I'll work on not letting it happen. I will also note that my primary reaction to the issue is 'tired'; I feel that this sort of thing happens a lot with you and I've just gotten to the point of handling the fallout and then moving on. I'm not sure if that's a fair or accurate way to feel, but it's the way I do feel and it seemed smart to share that."

    Hazō gulped. "Thank you for telling me," he said carefully. "It was not comfortable to hear but I think it was important to know.

    "Changing topics for a moment. I leaked your trump-card technique without thinking about it, so I've been working to come up with a new trump card for you. I wish to say upfront that I don't know very much about your bloodline or how it works, so it's quite possible that all of my ideas are pointless or obvious and well-known to the Wakahisa clan. Should that prove to be the case I hope you won't become angry at me for wasting your time."

    Noburi snorted. "It's fine. I never got more than the most basic training in our bloodline, so probably a lot of my ideas are well-known to the Wakahisa clan."

    That was encouraging. "My first thought was that it might be possible to drain chakra boost or jutsu. I know that you can't 'see' or drain seals so maybe it wouldn't work, but—"

    Noburi cut him off with an upraised hand and a shake of the head. "Doesn't work. I've tried draining Akane's Elemental Mastery effect and gotten nowhere." He shrugged. "I mean, maybe it's possible that I could learn to do it, but it sure didn't feel like it. I had no awareness of the technique's boundaries at all. As far as I can tell it's only living chakra systems that I can affect. The idea about draining the chakra boost out of someone is interesting though."

    "Good," Hazō said, pleased to have contributed something. "My second thought was that perhaps you could learn to use medical ninjutsu—or any ninjutsu—through mist. For example, if you could manifest your Water Whip from anywhere inside the mist cloud, or use medical ninjutsu to blind a target or cut their tendons...."

    "That...would be pretty insane," Noburi said. "I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it; I like using my ninjutsu to heal, and using it to harm...well, I can't say the idea hasn't crossed my mind, but it seems wrong. Still, it would be one insanely powerful trump card. I'll work on it, just to see if it's possible. Thank you, Hazō."

    "You're welcome." For a brief moment he considered bringing up his other, more out-there, ideas. Then he decided it would be better to end on a strong note. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help with the training. I'm happy to be a test victim if you need one."

    Noburi's grin would have sent most patients fleeing in terror. "I'll keep that in mind."

    o-o-o-o​

    As he retreated from the conversation with Noburi, Hazō considered whom he should speak to next. He had something to bring up with everyone on the team so it didn't make too much difference. In theory it could all happen as a group discussion but that seemed fraught with peril right at the moment. No, anything that complicated the social situation was to be avoided.

    Which made the answer to 'who next?' very plain: you didn't get much more socially uncomplicated than Kagome-sensei. The fact that the man in question was currently sitting on top of their shelter making explosives and glaring out over the desert just made things easier.

    The sun was going down, its lower edge slouching onto the horizon like a fat drunk dropping onto a tavern bench. Kagome-sensei was glaring at the bloody orb as though it had betrayed him personally.

    "May I join you, sensei?" Hazō asked carefully. Kagome-sensei had been even twitchier than usual since The Incident, although he'd been tripping over himself to make sure he didn't seem even remotely threatening to Minami.

    "Is it okay if I secure the perimeter tonight, Minami? I won't if you don't want me to. It'll be safe though, I promise. I can tell you—show you! I meant show you exactly where everything is. I'll go through first, so you know it's not a trap. And I can leave some of it out if that's better. My normal perimeter would be a dozen Lesser Barrier Formations, one hundred and forty four explosives, twelve implosion seals on ten-meter spherical detection arranged to—"

    "It's fine, Kagome. Go secure the perimeter."

    "Are you sure? I promise I'm not going to blow you up or anything. The explosives are only for the perimeter. Hazō could watch me set them up if you want, just to check that I'm not trying to kill you and make it look like an accident. Would it help if I told you how I would do that so you know that I'm not doing that?"

    The conversation had not been satisfactory for anyone involved. Fortunately, Minami had been more amused and exasperated than terrified and angry. Whether that said more about her enormous reservoir of forgiveness or her miniscule reservoir of common sense...well, that was an open question.

    "C'mon up," Kagome-sensei grunted. He budged over a few unnecessary centimeters, less to actually make room atop the relatively spacious roof and more to indicate the invitation.

    Hazō settled down next to his teacher. "How's it going?"

    "Way behind," Kagome-sensei grunted, glaring at the small stack of tags in front of him. "Running low on explosives after those crocabunnies swarmed the perimeter three nights ago. Didn't get as many made today as I should've."

    Having known Kagome-sensei for more than twenty minutes, Hazō did not bother getting nervous. Kagome-sensei's definition of 'low on explosives' was not quite the same as that of other people. "Let me help," he said instead, pulling out his own stack of blanks and writing materials.

    They worked together in companionable silence for a while until the spreading shadows made it too difficult to see the blanks they were drawing. To Hazō's surprise, Kagome-sensei did not jump up and rush inside to where he could use an oil lamp without alerting everyone within twenty miles to their presence. Instead, the man carefully put his equipment away and then lay back, fingers laced over his stomach as he gazed up at the stars. Hazō settled in beside him, likewise enjoying the quiet and the solitude as the minutes drifted by.

    The sky was crystal clear except for a few wispy clouds drifting in front of the moon—more giving it a glow than actually obscuring it. The stars were out in force, a gleaming and haphazard carpet of diamonds across the firmament. The desert was silent, the faint noises of the team in the building below them the loudest thing for what seemed like thousands of miles.

    "I know it's not easy," Kagome-sensei said quietly.

    "Hm?"

    "Me. Not easy having me around."

    Hazō looked over in shock. "Sensei, that's not true! You're—"

    "Don't lie."

    Hazō stumbled to a halt, his tongue tripping over itself at the melancholic certainty in his teacher's voice.

    "I'm always scared and suspicious and I have a tactically crippled mind, always reacting with explosives. I know that." Kagome-sensei's gaze was locked on the infinite wheel of the stars above them. His voice was calm and soft and sounded as though it came from far away. "I'm too clumsy with people, always saying the wrong thing and getting us in trouble. I don't think ahead enough. I know all that. All I ever wanted was for us to be safe, for you to be safe. You and Mori and Wakahisa and Ishihara; you mean the world to me. Knowing that I almost destroyed everything...."

    Hazō stayed silent, frantically scrambling for a response. What did you say to that? It's fine? It wasn't fine. You'll do better next time? What did that even mean?

    "We know," he said finally. "We know that keeping us safe is your top priority. No one doubts that. And we're grateful."

    Kagome-sensei grunted doubtful acknowledgement. He stared fixedly at the stars and definitely did not look at Hazō.

    There needed to be something more here. What would Mari-sensei have said? Something not judgemental, but still guiding in the right direction. "It's just...maybe you could teach us, instead of doing it for us?"

    The older man laughed bitterly. "Like a good teacher would. Sure."

    Hazō flailed for an answer and couldn't find one. Kagome-sensei had a host of problems, but self-doubt had never been one of them. What did he say?! Kagome-sensei was the reason the team was alive and citizens of Leaf, but in ten seconds he'd nearly undone everything they'd been working towards since going missing.

    The silence lasted just a little too long; Kagome-sensei sat up abruptly and pushed himself to his feet. "Anyway, sorry. You know, for being crazy and stuff. Gotta go. Need to check the perimeter." He leaped off the shelter and into the night.

    "Sensei, wait!"

    It was too late; the older man had vanished into the shadows. Hazō could have caught up to him, since the perimeter wasn't that big. Somehow, this didn't seem like the moment.



    XP AWARD: 4

    This update covered one day.

    This update is extremely short because I spent almost the entire day on new-apartment-related things like buying a shower curtain and food and unpacking boxes. The plan was good—well-written, easy to work with, and interesting with some real options for character development. I had intended the second scene to be the actual discussion with Kagome that was in the plan, but when I started writing it he had different ideas. I'm cutting it here because it's 9:14pm and I need to drive over to my friend's house to post this and pick up my shiny new cable modem (which has in theory arrived!) so that I will not need to drive over there the next time I want to see the internet. :>

    This coming Thursday (June 8) is a little up in the air. @Velorien is still traveling so he won't be writing it, and I haven't had a chance to talk to @OliWhail yet. OliWhail might write it, I might write it, it might be a continuation of this plan, it might be a lore update—we'll see. It depends on energy levels of those involved and on how much time we all have for worldbuilding (cf questions about the Minami clan) and other QM-ish duties.

    My suggestion would be that, instead of working on a short-term action plan, y'all use this chance to think about the longer term. Some specific suggestions:

    1. OOC: Are there particular mechanics you'd like to see? (jutsu, combat styles, etc)
    2. IC: You're the son of the Hokage; you can leverage that by asking him for particular assignments, assets, jutsu, etc. What do you want to ask for?
    3. The hivemind's ultimate goals appear to be 'uplift the world' with a dash of 'watch the world burn' thrown in. (Looking at you, @Radvic and @Dark as Silver!) If you (the individual human currently reading these words) haven't solidified your objective then this would be the time to do it. In particular, if you did manage to achieve your victory condition, what would the world look like after you won?
    The GMs are currently shorter on CPU than usual, so if there are mechanical issues that you'd like addressed (new jutsu, combat styles, etc), then it would be great if you could vet them for us before submitting them for approval. Try to break them and then patch the holes. Give us an "Explain Like I'm 5" breakdown on how much extra power the style/jutsu/etc would grant. Someone did that recently with a 'Roki lets Hazō save this many XP to get to 72 dice, Youthful Fist lets Akane save this many, etc'. It was very well written and really, really appreciated. (Apologies for not remembering who wrote it; I will edit in your name as soon as I find it.)

    Okay, I'm off!
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 133: Choices
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 133: Choices​

    It was late morning when Minami returned. Kagome was on self-appointed guard duty at the time, squatting on top of the shelter and refusing to talk as he glared out at the desert and marinaded in his own furious thoughts. Hazō and Akane were enjoying a semi-private picnic while Noburi napped and Keiko did completely unnecessary maintenance on her weapons.

    The land was flat enough that Minami could be seen coming from ten miles away; she was making no effort at stealth and throwing a rooster tail of dust in her wake. By the time she arrived the whole team was packed and ready for departure.

    "Thanks," Minami said, accepting the canteen that Hazō silently extended. She tugged the bandana down from the clean half of her face and used some of the water to wipe at the dust and dirt on the other half. "Interesting meeting; nothing definitely helpful, but we'll definitely want to report this in. They had some info on supply dumps Akatsuki has hit in the last month as well as chatter about people who have hired them."

    "Who hires an entire organization of S-rank ninja?" Noburi asked. "What would you even hire them for? I mean, most ninja missions are civilian protection, courier work, Yakuza assassinations...hiring one S-rank for that, let alone a whole bunch of them, would be like using a Hellfire Tornado jutsu to kill mosquitoes."

    "You'd be surprised," Minami said, shrugging. "There's a lot of dead-man switches—someone will pay a lot of money to Akatsuki or another high-powered mercenary and say 'if anything happens to me, kill so-and-so or release this information or whatever.' Shika once argued that they provide at least some positive social value in the form of contract enforcement. Also, major consortiums will sometimes hire them to eradicate all threats in a large area around a new mine or other resource. It's a lot of money upfront, but it saves a tremendous amount in reduced guards, not having to lose time to workforce disruption, and being able to pay lower wages because the area is safe enough that workers want to go there."

    "In point of fact," Keiko said, "there is a town in eastern Wind Country that pays to have a secure zone thirty miles wide around their walls. They have a retainer set up with unknown parties—almost certainly Akatsuki—to clear the area every six months. They have been doing this for five years and their economic output has increased twelve-fold across that time. The Nara have notes about it, along with preliminary designs for doing the same thing around Leaf."

    "Huh?" Hazō said. "They're not clearing the area around Leaf...I mean, sure, it's not the Swamp, but we still got attacked by those tree badgers on our way in, and that patch of blood beets was only a hundred meters from the walls."

    "I did not have time to research the information in detail. I would assume the plan simply has not been put into practice yet."

    "But that's nuts," Hazō said. "If it would produce such positive—"

    "Here," Kagome said, tossing a satchel at Minami's feet as he jumped off the roof.

    She looked at the satchel and then looked at him. Her body language was extremely calm.

    "And this is...?"

    "Brushes, inkstones, blank paper. All my writing materials." He eyed the satchel longingly for just a moment, then firmly dragged his gaze away from it to look her in the eye. There was something off about his bearing, a determination that had Hazō's hackles standing on end.

    Minami eyed Kagome carefully, clearly unsettled. "Your writing materials."

    "Writing materials. Can't make new seals without this stuff."

    "You still have your seals?"

    "Don't be...yes, I still have my seals. I'm no good in a fight without them and I won't leave the group undefended just to make a point."

    "Mm-hm. What point might that be?" She shifted her weight, glancing around with a studied casualness that failed to disguise the fact she'd just marked the locations of the rest of the team

    "I've been missing for fifteen years because my bosses betrayed me twice," Kagome said, a hint of a snarl hiding bashfully behind the words. "There is exactly one thing I still care about, and that's my team. Kurosawa Hazō, Wakahisa Noburi, Mori Keiko, Ishihara Akane, Inoue Mari. Jiraiya, I suppose. A lot of people say things like 'Anything that hurts them does so over my dead body.' Fuck that. Nothing hurts them, period. If that means wiping out every living thing within ten miles, I'm fine with that." He snorted. "We spent a while in a minor ninja village built into the side of a mountain; day after we got there I had the slopes mined so that we could have just buried the stinking place. I still think we should have done it that way.

    "You are a threat to my team, and threats look better in lots and lots of tiny red pieces."

    "Is this supposed to be reassuring?"

    "Yes. Because killing you would be an even bigger threat to my team. Setting all of Leaf against us doesn't protect them. Should have seen that. Didn't look far enough ahead the first time. Haven't had to worry about the long term for fifteen years, fell out of the habit. Hard enough being alone, everything always trying to eat you. Think about the future, just makes it worse. Spend all your time wondering when the hunters are going to show up, when the perimeter is going to fail. Wondering if it'll be the chakra voles tunneling up under your bedroll and eating their way through your liver and out your belly, or the mind birds eating your eyeballs while you stand there like an idiot not even knowing what's happening, or the—"

    He paused mid-sentence and took a long, shuddering breath. "My point is that when I was on my own there was no advantage in thinking about the future. That's different now, and I'm trying to get back in the habit. So. Protecting my team is what matters to me, and I can't do that unless you trust me. From now on, I will protect you the same way I protect them. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if you turn on us, even if you shout Wakahisa's abilities from the rooftops of Leaf, I will protect you. I will obey your orders in the field. I will be the best soldier you have ever had. I will protect you from anything at all. Earning your trust is the only thing that could protect my friends, and therefore I must earn your trust."

    Minami was leaning back, more shaken by Kagome's words than she had been by his attempted murder. "What...but...you tried to kill me."

    "Yes. But I won't again. No matter what. I will protect you, even if you betray us."

    He leaned in. "I will protect you...but, if you betray them, I will blow your entire clan into teeny tiny pieces."

    "Kagome!" Noburi started moving forward.

    "Noburi, stop." Keiko's voice was cold. "Everyone stop."

    "She gets it," Kagome said, not breaking eye contact with Minami. "She understands. She probably doesn't agree, but she understands. I'm sure she thinks this is the wrong way, but it's the only way I can see working. Can you understand it, Minami?"

    Minami studied him. "You're being completely honest, aren't you?"

    Kagome nodded, still not releasing her from his gaze. "Yes. 'Clear Communication no Jutsu', Hazō calls it. I'm no good with people. Most of 'em are stupid and the rest are liars. I've never been a good liar; best I can do is just not say anything. No one believes that, though. Ninja lie; it's what we do. People lie, too. We're trained not to believe other people. Well, I'm not leaving any room for disbelief. Here's the sweet and the bitter: I am not your friend and you aren't part of my team, but I will be your loyal and obedient soldier. Whatever you say, I'll do. For whatever my word is worth—and that's not much—you have it. I'll do whatever it takes to make you want to keep my team safe and keep their secrets hidden. You can have anything I own, anything I know. Seals, intelligence, cryptography, engineering...just think how valuable it could be to the Minami clan to have their own crypto guy, their own sealmaster, a security expert who can secure their compound, someone with experience teaching sealing who is willing to give their kids lessons for free. Not easy to come by, eh?"

    "No. It is not."

    He dropped to one knee in a posture of fealty. "Clear Communication: Protecting my friends is the only thing I care about, and I will do whatever it takes. Protect my friends, keep their secrets, and I'm yours. Betray them, and I will kill everyone you care about. Is that clear enough?"

    She stood, studying him silently. Hazō held his breath, feeling the world teeter around him.

    Minami nodded in decision. She stepped forward, grasping Kagome's hand and pulling him to his feet. "You are. Pick up your gear, soldier."

    A very small and very brief smile shivered across Kagome's face. "As you command, Captain Minami."




    XP award: 0

    Voting ends on Saturday, June 10, 2017, at 9am New York time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 134: Planning and Plotting
  • Threadmarks

    • Making mistakes was the fate of every human. Not making the same one twice was Hazō's fate—at least, if he had anything to say about it.

    Privacy was going to be important, so Hazō waited two nights after leaving Sand. He waited until Keiko had first-shift guard duty, dinner was over, and everyone was starting to climb into their bedrolls. "Minami," he said quietly. "I'd like to go talk privately with Keiko, but I don't want to worry you. She's prone to getting depressed sometimes, so I've gotten in the habit of checking in with her periodically; it's better if those conversations are private. I'd also like to help her brainstorm new combat tactics and techniques. Do you have any objections?"

    Minami pulled her blankets up over herself and turned on her side. "Just don't stay up too late. You've got second shift and tired ninja are dead ninja."

    "Yes, ma'am," Hazō said, yet again not mentioning his Mist Academy sleep deprivation training. He turned and slipped silently outside, although he made sure to scuff his feet slightly before jumping up on the roof. It didn't do to surprise a ninja on guard duty.

    "Good evening, Hazō," Keiko said calmly. "Difficulty sleeping, or did you want to help me develop secret new combat techniques that will act as my trump cards?"

    "Okay, I know for a fact that you were already on the roof and there is no way you heard me say that from up here."

    She smiled. "You blundered by disclosing Noburi's secret, leading to Kagome's rash actions. After that you have been focused on repairing that more significant issue, but now he appears to have fixed it himself." She paused. "And isn't that one of the more amazing things we've seen on our travels? In any case, now that the more significant issue has been resolved, you are moving on to helping Noburi find new techniques to replace the one you revealed. As an obvious extension, you are looking to help me and Kagome find trumps of our own. You spoke to him two days ago and tonight is the first night that I have been on first-shift duty when you were on second. Tonight was the logical night for you to approach me."

    Hazō looked at her, narrow-eyed. "If I had come tomorrow you would have had a reason why tomorrow was the logical night, wouldn't you?"

    Her smile got wider. "Perhaps. In any case, what miracles of combat sealing did you wish to suggest that I put on my thrown weapons? Macerators loaded with pepper spray? Shurikens equipped with mobile Force Walls? Kunai equipped with Force Wall wedges?"

    "...You are scary, you know that?"

    "I've been told that, yes."

    "Okay, yes, I hadn't thought of the wedge-equipped kunai but I had the other two. I did have one other idea though...." He took a breath. "Let me preface this by saying that this is only an idea, and it might be a bad one. It involves your bloodline, which is something I know nothing about except that it's amazingly powerful and that it's dangerous. I want to help, which is why I'm bringing it up, but if it makes you uncomfortable I will let it go."

    "You are going to suggest that I practice using my bloodline in combat, aren't you? That perhaps the Frozen Skein would allow me to calculate angles more precisely, track the battlefield more rapidly, or give me a level of combat intuition that allowed me to anticipate opponent's actions before they made them?"

    "...Something like that. I would like to emphasize, however, that I still get scared every time I remember you going too deep into your bloodline back in Iron. It took you minutes to come back to normal. I would much rather have Awesome Keiko with no Frozen Skein style than Vegetable Keiko with a style. You kick immense amounts of ass as it is; we can find a safer way to let you kick even more."

    "Thank you for your concern. Using the Frozen Skein in combat is possible, and it can be extremely effective. It carries enormous risks, however. My aunt Noriko fought from within the ice for years without being frozen. Then, one day, her team leader wanted to show off a flashy new lightning technique he had learned. He led the squad into an ambush. Aunt Noriko breathed the ice deep inside herself in order to prevent the utter destruction of her entire squad. When we left for Noodle the most knowledgeable of our elders were working to bring her back; there was a fifty-fifty chance that they would succeed.

    "You are correct, however. I have been remiss in not exploring the potential of my bloodline. Our lives are too uncertain, too at risk, for me to have let my cowardice rule me like this. I should have been— Hey!"

    Hazō poked her again. "Keiko's getting mopey, Keiko's getting mopey," he chanted in the mocking sing-song of little children everywhere.

    "Cut it out, Hazō."

    "Oh, look at me! I'm Keiko and I'm a total badass but I can't admit it because I need to be mopey all the time! Sure, I made the ninja of Sarubetsu wet themselves and I won the respect of Pantsā of the Adamant Scales, but I can't think about that because I need to be mopey!"

    Glare of Death no Jutsu. "You are not funny, Hazō."

    "Oooh, ooh, I'm such a terrible coward, even though I can stare down insane freaky-pants biosealmistresses and kick the ever-loving crap out of basically everything we've ever met."

    "I know what you're doing."

    "Wahhh, I'm so socially incompetent even though I was a successful spy and information analyst back in the Liberator's camp and I managed to navigate the politics in Hidden Mountain better than anyone except Mari-sensei."

    "Stop it!"

    The mocking tone fell away, replaced by steel. "Then cut it out. You're a grown woman and an incredible ninja. You have the respect of every ninja we have ever met, including Jiraiya of the Sannin and the God of Shinobi. Are you omnipotent? No. Omniscient? No. Do you have self-doubt, just like everyone else? Yes. You're still a badass, so get over yourself." He was very proud of those words; he'd practiced them in the mirror back in Leaf, knowing that he would need them at some point. After her Nara-esque 'super deduction' trick from earlier, it was nice to get a little of his own back.

    She looked at him sourly. "Fine. I will investigate the potential of my bloodline and I will not focus on my various fai—ow! Cut it out!—I will not focus on the parts of myself that I find less than ideal."

    "Good. Now, about seal-based weaponry?"

    Keiko hesitated. "I am already reasonably capable of lethal engagement. I would prefer to focus on less-lethal options when I can. The macerators I have equipped on my kunai are mostly sufficient for that; I can load them with various irritants, and I still have a tiny bit of the dragonfly dust left. Which reminds me—I will be curious to see what Noburi can do with that snake venom; it would be ideal if he could dilute it enough to make it a non-lethal paralytic or a sleeping agent." She sighed. "Still, peaceful options aside, it would be foolish of me not to admit that lethal engagements happen more often than not. Shuriken of Spinny Slicey Force Doom would be appreciated. They would also be useful for removing obstacles. It would be important to ensure that they are short-lived, however; they should not persist for more than a second, lest an ally stumble through one of the cutting planes sticking out of the ground after the shuriken embeds itself."

    Hazō raised his eyebrows. "Go back a bit. 'Shuriken of Spinny Slicey Force Doom'?"

    "What?" she asked, sounding offended. "You name your seals things like 'macerator' and 'bazooka'."

    Hazō held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, Spinny Slicey Force Doom is good. I am totally on board with Spinny Slicey Force Doom."

    She gave him an old-fashioned look so severe that for a moment he was afraid the Leaf librarian had Substituted with her. "I am glad to hear it. Moving on, perhaps caltrops that sprout Force Wall blades would be good? I notice that we have spent a fair amount of running away from things. A serious obstacle would be useful. Proximity detection in general is probably the highest-value item you could research. If we wanted non-lethal options we could have caltrops equipped with proximity-triggered macerators that were loaded with irritants."

    Hazō laughed. "On the subject of irritants and spinny slicy force doom, would you appreciate a sounding board when it comes to planning what pangolins to contract with?"

    "Did you have input?"

    "Seems to me like the team needs two things: heavy firepower and a genjutsu specialist. Genjutsu is nice because it can completely shut down one opponent, and the fact that a summon can't be perma-killed takes away the biggest disadvantage. We could also use a real heavy hitter for big fights. Is there any chance that Pankurashun would let you summon him?"

    She looked pensive. "Perhaps. I can speak to him about it. Although, it seems to me that we should analyze our tactical roles before deciding where we need another fighter. You and Akane are close-range fighters. Her defensive jutsu gives her some protection, but you are quite 'squishy', as Noburi put it during gaming. A melee pangolin could make sense there; it would work with Akane to tie up the enemy while you used macerators and explosives from midrange."

    "Midrange is Noburi's spot," Hazō pointed out. "Water Whip is long enought to keep him out of hand-to-hand and Hozūki's Mantle gives him a mobile defensive position. He can back me up with the Whip while I'm fighting. It worked great against those zombies."

    "Having you at midrange with him means you could throw explosives freely and then hide in the blast shadow of his Mantle."

    "True...just need to make sure that he knows where I'm throwing them so that they're away from the throat of the Mantle and he doesn't turn at the wrong moment. It would make for great battlefield control, though."

    "Indeed. Also, I will note that Kagome is actually a more effective close-range fighter than either you or Akane."

    Freshly burned by the 'secret techniques' issue, Hazō noticed how careful she had been not to use words like 'explosion punching' or 'blast rings'.

    "True, although given the number of tags he carries he also works pretty well at midrange throwing explosives around."

    "Yes, although he is completely unable to hit the broad side of a building."

    "Well, explosions."

    "True."

    They both paused, considering the possibilities. Eventually Hazō asked, "What do you think we should do about him? He basically just pledged himself to be Minami's servant forever. That's millions of ryo of services for nothing."

    "It is not for nothing. It is for his own sense of self-worth and self-determination. In the long term it lets him feel that he is taking control of his destiny, cleaning up his own mess, and growing as a person who is aware of his own weaknesses. In the more immediate future it is to preserve the safety of his team and the secrecy of Noburi's technique."

    She didn't add "...which you leaked" but Hazō still winced. "I guess. Still. I don't like the idea of him being tied up like that forever. It feels like Minami's taking advantage."

    "I tend to agree, but I do not see what can be done about it. One thing we should do, however, is to discuss his impulsive behavior with him. That will probably need to wait until we are back in Leaf; it will require significant time and privacy. Still, I feel that it is important. He deliberately did not talk with us before his attempt on Minami's life, nor before offering her the deal to keep everything quiet. I applaud him for the deal he made—he may well have found the only way to keep Minami quiet about what happened. It would still have been preferable for him to have included us in the decision."

    "A little hard to do on the first one," Hazō pointed out. "There wasn't any privacy."

    "Perhaps that would have been a good sign that he shouldn't have done it," she said acerbically.

    "No argument from me. Still. There ought to be some way to buy him out from this contract."

    "I don't see how," Keiko said. "He tried to kill her. If she reveals this to the Leaf command structure he will at best be imprisoned and at worst be executed."

    "I think he might reverse the badness of those options," Hazō said. "He's got a real thing about being stuck in a seal factory."

    "A valid point. In any case, if Minami reveals this information then Kagome will experience a bad fate. That will weaken Jiraiya's position and likely end with him removed from the position of Hokage. The rest of the dominoes will fall as I previously mentioned."

    "Yeah." He sighed. "Although, there's probably an expiration date on the information. If she waits too long to report it she's get in some trouble herself for concealing important information."

    "Kagome would still be dead or imprisoned."

    "True. Well, let's both keep thinking about it, and get Noburi in on the thinking as soon as we have a chance."

    "Of course." She sat quietly for a bit, looking out at the desert and up at the stars.

    "Speaking of getting people in," he said at last. "I was wondering...we'll be going past Mist at the end of this trip. Do you think there's any chance we could get my mother out?" He looked at her warily, hoping against hope.

    She didn't seem to hear him, remaining silent and still with her eyes looking out over the desert. A minute ticked by, and then another. When she finally answered it was in the still and far-away voice of the Frozen Skein. "It is conceivable—conceivable—that we could extract your mother. By now the fact that Yagura is dead or missing will have been noted. Mei would have been the logical successor, but she is missing as well. The Noodle Incident that started all this cost Mist a significant fraction of their jōnin force. After that and Jiraiya's mission, Mist has very few jōnin remaining. The command structure will be in disarray. It is possible that administration will be sloppy, which means that sentry schedules will be chaotic and it would be feasible to sneak in. It is also possible that the defenses will be even tighter as the village turtles in on itself during the challenging time."

    "Oh." Her words had hit him like a hammer between the eyes. Was she serious? Was there a possibility...? "Could we—"

    She slumped, shivering as though with fever. "My apologies, Hazō," she said shakily. "I could not stay that deep."

    With anyone else he would have put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to share the warmth of his body, but he knew better where Keiko was concerned. "It's all right," he said. "I would much rather have Awesome Keiko with no extraction plan than Vegetable Keiko with a plan."





    XP AWARD: 10

    This update covered two days. I didn't get to most of the plan, which I regret because it was a fun plan.

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, June 14, 2017, at 12pm London time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 135: Tolerance
  • Threadmarks

    • Hazō found Keiko just as she was extracting the last of her shuriken from the elbow joint of a long-suffering practice dummy.

    "Hazō," she said lightly. "Have you finished sorting through your scrolls yet?"

    "No," he grumbled. "Someone, I can't begin to guess who, rewrote all the labels. Now my seal packs all say things like 'brilliant idea with no flaws whatsoever #256', and 'eloquent and well-thought-out speech #20', and 'display of common sense #oh, who am I kidding'."

    "How mysterious," Keiko agreed. "And yet I cannot help but wonder if there is some subtle message concealed within these seemingly random acts of vandalism."

    "Don't you start," Hazō said. "I was actually going to ask what happened with the pangolin-condor mission from before. Did it get cancelled because the political situation changed? Did somebody else do it and not tell us? Or is it still on the cards?"

    "As it happens, I received an update the last time I visited the Seventh Path. It seems the Condor Clan cancelled the meeting after the Hokage's ill-fated battle, presumably because the Condor Summoner is too busy seeking new human allies for the clan now that Mist has been weakened. That and I imagine the so-called Condor Resistance has enough other concerns at the present time."

    "So there's a Condor Resistance? They haven't been completely wiped out?"

    Hazō breathed a deep inner sigh of relief. He wasn't responsible for an act of ruthless genocide.

    "Indeed," Keiko nodded. "The pangolins make no secret of the consequences of their victory. All members of the condor military above a certain level have been executed, as have all condors not prepared to publically swear loyalty to the new regime. Flight has been forbidden without possession of state-issued paint markings, and counterfeiting such markings is punishable by death. Large-scale forced resettlement has taken place as the pangolin population expands into condor territory, and the majority of working-age condors have been assigned compulsory labour in Pangolin Clan enterprises. Most positions of responsibility are occupied by pangolins, with a few granted as rewards to particularly loyal and/or skilled condors. Many other condor rights have been restricted or eliminated.

    "There is some unrest within the Pangolin Clan over the excessively generous treatment of their historical enemy, with calls for greater punitive action, full-scale enslavement and even total annihilation. Naturally, the pangolin leadership has made certain that the condors are aware of its mercy in light of such demands, and of the fact that this mercy is their only protection against much greater destruction.

    "In my personal analysis, the pangolins are taking measures to fragment the Condor Clan's population, both geographically and across social and ideological lines, resulting in a disunity that would interfere with any large-scale attempts at insurrection. In time, new lines of privilege will be redrawn within the condor communities, centred around individuals and groups' relationships with their pangolin rulers, as opposed to their traditional social structures. In this way, the pangolins will be able to use their well-developed propaganda machine to erase the condors' racial identity and incorporate them as homogeneous subjects of an ever-expanding Pangolin Empire.

    "It is a much more sophisticated plan than I originally anticipated, and highlights the subtlety of thought concealed behind the apparent simplicity of the pangolins' social structure and institutions."

    Hazō struggled to take all this in. "So you're saying that the condors haven't been wiped out, and haven't been enslaved, but instead the pangolins are trying to get rid of the things that make them condors in the first place?"

    "In a manner of speaking," Keiko said. "If the Pangolin Clan's scheme is as I perceive it, then within mere generations the condors will largely be reduced to pangolins without claws or scales, and with wings that may only be used with the government's permission. I cannot guess, however, at the ultimate form of such a society, just as Warring Clans ninja would have been unable to predict the real internal structure and politics of a hidden village such as Leaf.

    "It is also worth noting that the Condor Resistance persists. Conjura, the leader of the Condor Clan, was able to escape using her mastery of space-time ninjutsu, and is even now seeking support from neutral clans while condor loyalists harass the occupying pangolin forces from camps concealed in the less accessible mountain regions."

    "Thanks for letting me know, Keiko," Hazō said. "I'm honestly not sure how to feel about any of this."

    "Is loss of identity worse than physical annihilation?" Keiko asked. "A fascinating philosophical question, and one with no use whatsoever to shinobi like us who are in any case doomed to die young."

    Hazō and Keiko looked at each other in morose silence.

    "Actually, Hazō… there is something I've been meaning to ask you," Keiko said uneasily.

    "What's that?"

    Keiko's gaze drifted downwards, studying the blades of grass as if a perfect knowledge of botany was an absolute requirement of their mission.

    "I… well… how do you stand it?"

    Hazō blinked. "What are you talking about?"

    "It is something I've had cause to contemplate over the last few weeks, nothing more," Keiko said just a little faster than normal, almost stumbling over the words, "and Mari-sensei is far away, and you and I have a certain commonality of communication, and please feel free to stop me if you find the subject uncomfortable or uninteresting, but…"

    "What is it, Keiko?"

    Keiko's voice slowed down to something closer to its normal speed. "I am aware that my… preference… is the exception rather than the norm, and that other people likely find my aberrant tendencies confusing or distasteful at best, and it is a source of continuing amazement to me that you and the rest of the team not only tolerate but respect them. But we have never… discussed them as such, and if you don't mind…"

    "Keiko," Hazō laughed, "there's nothing aberrant about you liking girls. I mean, it's kind of confusing, and maybe a little weird, but it seems to work for you, and we all know for a fact that you're not a bad person. You can like whomever you like, and we're always going to be there to support you or make fun of you or whatever it is people are supposed to do when one of their friends likes someone."

    Keiko assumed an all-too-familiar look of practiced tolerance. "While your vote of confidence is certainly appreciated, Hazō, I am well aware of your feelings in this regard. I would say we covered the issue, and much else besides, most comprehensively in the aftermath of my disastrous confession to Mari-sensei. May I return to the topic I actually wanted to discuss?"

    Hazō now felt like an idiot, but at least it had calmed Keiko down.

    "Go ahead."

    Keiko gathered her thoughts for a second.

    "Hazō, how can you stand to surrender control of your body to others with such extraordinary frequency? How does physical contact not engender in you a reflexive instinct to escape or to defend yourself?

    "I am told that my mother would hold me as a small child, before I displayed my lack of value and my parents lost interest in me. And Ami, my sister, holds—held a unique position of trust which can never be replicated by another person, in addition to being able to read my mood and judge my degree of approachability to a degree far beyond even Mari-sensei's abilities. But for as long as I can remember, I have had a clear sense of personal boundaries, and I do not understand how other people do not."

    "What about taijutsu?" Hazō asked curiously. "We've done full-contact sparring plenty of times."

    "The purpose of taijutsu is to establish control over the engagement. To master taijutsu is to permit physical contact precisely and exclusively in the manner of one's own choosing, and terminate it as quickly as is practical. Even then, I chose to specialise in ranged combat as soon as circumstances permitted.

    "Yet others surrender their bodies to each other freely and casually, with no sense of danger, and worse, they expect me to do the same."

    Keiko looked down at the grass again. "It is not an issue I can afford to ignore forever. Not with a marriage to come, and… other concerns. I was wondering whether you had any insight to offer into how the majority of people can willingly lower their most essential defences so completely as to not merely tolerate another's touch but to enjoy it."

    Hazō had known, vaguely in the back of his head, that Keiko didn't like being touched, but he'd never really thought about the how and why of it. It was just one of those strange things, like how some people were afraid of spiders or loud noises.

    He frowned. "So it's about interacting with other people, not about the sensation of touch itself? I mean, you touch yourself all the time, right?"

    Unexpectedly, Keiko leapt to her feet, face blazing red.

    "Th-That is not a topic open for discussion!"

    "What? …oh. Keiko, I didn't mean—"

    "Excuse me," Keiko said quickly, "I need to go polish my shuriken."

    Hazō just looked at her. Keiko somehow managed to go even redder.

    "I didn't mean it like that! My equipment simply needs hands-on maintenance!"

    Hazō kept looking at her.

    "I—I—Goodbye, Hazō!"

    Keiko fled.

    Hazō could do nothing but thank his lucky stars that Mari-sensei wasn't on this mission.

    -o-
    ​
    In the final analysis, Hazō appears to have:
    ​
    • 500 "subtle attempts at diplomacy" (exploding tags)​
    • 10 "OPSEC moments" (misterators)​
    • 200 pairs of "plans grounded in reality" (skywalkers)​
    • 5 pairs of "openness to other people's thoughts and feelings" (air domes)​
    • 3 "efforts to not suck at life" (purifiers)​
    • 25 "instances of showing people the content of your plans before doing something stupid" (storage scrolls)​

    Noburi must pay.​

    -o-
    ​
    Sorry for the short update. Writing has not been a thing lately. Nothing else in the plan has happened yet, and XP will be awarded by the esteemed @eaglejarl.​
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 136: Game On, Noburi
  • Threadmarks

    • "So...right across, huh?"

    Hazō carefully did not laugh at the intensely doubtful tone in his squad leader's voice.

    They had arrived on the beach at eleven in the morning, and everyone was glad to be out of the demon-spawned desert. It was nice to see water again, even if it wasn't drinkable. For that matter, it was nice to see anything except flat land made of dirt and scrub. They had lucked into a small oasis near the beach; a minor spring came up out of the ground and flowed down to rejoin its parent ocean. Around the spring sprouted a minor profusion of greenery, the first visual break from yellow and red that the team had had for a week.

    "Yep," he said. "Don't worry, it's only about five hours. Just keep an eye behind you in case one of the megalodons tries to eat us again."

    "Megalodons?"

    "Giant fish," Noburi volunteered. "Very roughly the size of that house we were staying in back in Leaf, mouth big enough to swallow our whole group in one go. Waaaaay too many teeth."

    Minami eyed him doubtfully. "Are you messing with me?"

    "No, he is not," Keiko said. "We were attacked by one the last time we attempted this crossing." She paused just long enough to be cruel. "Of course, we were crossing farther up where the distance was much shorter. We will be on the water more than twice as long this time."

    "I see." Minami eyed the gently-rolling waves with a more respectful look. "Anything else I should be aware of?"

    "Sky squids," Kagome said. "They like to come down for a dip sometimes."

    "Okay, now I know you're messing with me. There's no—"

    "Yes, there are," chorused Keiko, Hazō, and Noburi. Kagome just looked offended.

    "Told her I'd be a good soldier," Kagome mumbled, turning away. "Good soldiers don't lie to their commanders, do they? Noooo, they do not. Have I been a good soldier? Yes, I have. Does she believe me? Noooo. No trust. You try to kill someone one time...."

    "All right, all right," Minami said. "Kagome, I'm sorry I doubted you. Tell me about these things."

    "The one we saw was...maybe three meters long?" Hazō said. "Kagome-sensei said that it was a small one."

    "You can tell because it didn't drop any lupchanzen," Kagome-sensei said helpfully.

    "Lupchanzen?"

    "Half animal, half plant. Likes to crawl in an orifice, migrate to your head, eat your brain, and run your body like a meat puppet. Smart, can use any jutsu you know once they've puppeted you long enough."

    She eyed him dubiously. "How do you know about these things?"

    "Spent a few years in crypto, Black Two clearance. Saw the report. Same pile as sky squids, so I know it was real."

    She continued to eye him dubiously. "Okay, I'm just going to put that in the 'ask about this later when we aren't on a scramble-priority mission' pile. Right now we need to get across this stupid ocean."

    "Technically, it's an inlet," Keiko said.

    "Fine. We need to get across this inlet. We were told to conserve skywalkers so we'll have to do it on foot. Anything to do other than drink more chakra water and then run like demons are on our heels?"

    "I need to refill my barrel," Noburi said, slinging the offending object off his back and proceeding to rummage in the pouch at his belt. He pulled out a wooden box, flipped it open, and ruffled through the stack of storage seals inside. "Here we go," he said, pulling one out. Moments later his barrel was full again, courtesy of several of the many waterskins that had been stored in the box in the storage seal.

    "I'll also need to stock up on chakra," he said. "There's not a lot of critters around, though. Won't be quick."

    "Fine," Minami said, slinging her pack off. "Executive decision: we're standing down for the day. Wakahisa, you stock up, we'll cross after breakfast tomorrow. Drain from the water; we'll eat whatever dies. Mori, go with him and watch his back while he's doing it. Kurosawa, make us a shelter, something discreet. Kagome, secure the perimeter. Ishihara, dig a firepit and unseal one of the hibachi." She laughed. "Gotta say, it's way easier traveling with a pair of sealsmiths and being able to store hibachi that are already full of hot coals. I'll start putting tonight's report together."

    "Actually, that brings up something I—we—wanted to tell you," Hazō said.

    Minami suddenly looked wary. "Is this going to be a problem?"

    "Hazō was careful to ask us about it already," Keiko said. "While you were in Sand we discussed whether it would be problematic."

    "Conversations behind my back. I see."

    "No, not like that!" Hazō protested. "I just...I wanted to bring this up, but after causing all that trouble last time I needed to get a second opinion to make sure I wouldn't be stepping in it again."

    "Mm-hm. Well, spit it out."

    "You know that we're from Mist," Hazō said cautiously. "Our mission ends in Sky, which isn't too far off. Once we're done I'd like to circle back and spend some time looking around to get an idea of how things stand. My mother is still there and I want to get her out, so I'm hoping we'll find a way to get a message to her. Jiraiya is onboard with getting her out, or at least trying to, since that was one of our conditions for joining Leaf. I'd like to get your okay, and in tonight's report I'd like to send back a note explaining it so that he has the chance to order us home if he wants. Also, we all want to send back a note to Mari-sensei, just to say hi and tell her we miss her. Any objections to any of that?"

    She thought about it. "Sending the report to the Hokage and the note to your sensei is fine," she said. "I don't like the idea of spying on Mist, though. We aren't infiltrators and we don't hit hard enough to deal with a serious fight if they catch us."

    "How about just asking around among the local civilians?" Hazō asked. "That should let us find out how much food they're importing, how often and how far their ninja are traveling, and probably other stuff."

    "Trade analysis could be useful, not just to us but to Leaf," Keiko said. "If we know what commodities Mist needs, Leaf could better carry out a strategy of economic warfare. The Land of Water is lacking most natural resources but has accumulated a large population due to the power of its ninja village. With so many people to feed and clothe, Mist is forced to import much of its needs. If Leaf can interfere with that trade it could bring Mist to its knees without ever hurling a kunai."

    She thought about that. "Spying still seems risky. Why are you insisting on doing it yourselves if the Hokage has already said he'd take care of it?"

    "He didn't," Hazō said. "He said he'd try. He's not going to be able to for a while, though."

    "Why not?"

    Hazō shifted uncomfortably. "I can't say."

    "Clan secret?"

    "Not...exactly. Classified, I think? Remember when we all got assigned this mission, he told the five of us to not say anything about some information? This is that information."

    "Hm." She thought about that. "I'll put an explanation of this in tonight's report. If he explicitly authorizes the mission then we'll do it. Otherwise, we head straight back to Leaf after delivering the last of the messages."

    "Thank you!" Hazō said.

    "Don't thank me until he authorizes it. In the meantime, everyone get to your chores."

    o-o-o-o​

    Akane might have been the one to dig the firepit, but Hazō had insisted on cooking lunch.

    "Here you go, Noburi," Hazō said, sprinkling a last pinch of spice over the steaming-hot bowl of stir fry before handing it to his teammate.

    "Thanks," Noburi said, eagerly spooning up some of the delicious-smelling food. One of the nice things about traveling with sealsmiths; there were enough storage seals that it was easy to carry a full array of cooking herbs and spices. Fresh-cooked food was way better than trail bars.

    "You're welcome." Hazō waited just a moment before adding, "By the way, relabeling all my scrolls was a pretty funny prank."

    Noburi promptly spat out the mouthful he had barely even tasted and hurried to rinse his mouth clean.

    "Something wrong with the food?" Hazō asked innocently.

    "No, it's fine," Noburi said. "Stomach's a little wobbly, that's all. I think I'll just have a trail bar."

    o-o-o-o​

    Deserts are, by definition, full of dirt and sand. Running through them at ninja speeds meant that the entire team had grit in their teeth, in their hair, and across every inch of exposed skin. With the fresh-water stream available it was possible for the first time in days to get a bath. Minami had been adamant that the camp not be left undefended, despite the formidable array of defenses Kagome had established. ("Hmph. I suppose it'll do, as long as we aren't attacked by anything bigger than a mouse." "You've put out two hundred explosive tags!" "Well, I didn't have time for a proper perimeter, now did I, Du—Captain Minami?")

    "Boys first, then girls," Minami said. "Boys, don't take too long."

    "Cool," Hazō said. "Oh, Noburi, I noticed that you're running low on soap. I've got an extra block if you want it. Good quality, not too harsh."

    "...I'm good, thanks."

    o-o-o-o​

    Given their success at 'hunting' for lunch, Minami sent Keiko and Noburi out again to find dinner. ("Standard protocol is to not touch your reserves unless necessary for operational security.") Having cleaned out the nearby tide pools, the two young ninja had to journey somewhat further afield for this hunt. By the time they returned the sun was on the horizon and they both looked tired.

    "Water?" Akane asked, holding out a chilled canteen to each of them.

    "Thank you," Keiko said, raising the canteen to her lips as Noburi accepted his.

    Akane's eyes suddenly got wide. "Keiko, wait! That's the wrong one! That canteen was for Noburi!"

    Keiko paused, then lowered the canteen and eyed Akane carefully. "Why is it important which canteen we each drink from?"

    "Erm...." Akane fidgeted. "Hazō asked me to give that one to Noburi."

    Keiko raised an eyebrow. "I see." Silently, she turned and held out the canteen to Noburi.

    "I'm good, thanks," Noburi said nervously. He carefully set down the canteen that Akane had handed him. "I've got some of my own, actually. It's not cold, but that's fine. No problem. Excuse me." He hurried off towards the firepit, leaving the two girls in his wake.

    Keiko watched him go, then turned to Akane.

    "There's nothing wrong with the water, is there?"

    Blinding smile. "Nope."

    "Excellent."


    XP AWARD: 6

    This update covered 2 days but most of the XP for this plan had previously been awarded.

    Notes:

    • In the plan you said to check with Akane if she minded you discussing her ability to make ice, and to tell Minami if Akane said it was okay. Akane is not considering Elemental Mastery or her ability to make ice a secret. She had already used the jutsu in front of Minami; cf Hazō giving Noburi a canteen back at the start of chapter 132 and Noburi asking if Akane had chilled it.
    • You also said to ask Minami if Jiraiya had given you any extra information. You were with her the whole time when the orders came in, so you heard what she was told. She was given a briefing packet which she has shared with you. Keiko also raided the Nara library for a cursory overview of the area you would be traveling through. Between these sources you have a basic summary of weather and international relations, as well as skimpy maps of the various countries you'll be passing through.
    • Your crossing of the Hanguri Gulf was uneventful.
    • You sent your report to Jiraiya but have not heard back yet.
    • You have made all your stops in Tea and are now in Noodle.
    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, June 21, 2017, at 12pm London time.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Reader mode
    You must login or register to reply here.
    Remove ads
    Back
    Top