Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest (STORY ONLY)

[Velorien]

Chapter 60: The High Priestess (Upright)
by @Velorien
​

"Greetings, Miss Honami," Inoue-sensei began in her best wheedling voice. "This", she indicated Hazō in his ridiculously over-the-top Transformation Technique robes, "is High Priestess Fūka, seventeenth generation oracle of the Kannagi line. The Kannagi specialise in the futures of young lovers, newlyweds and pregnant women, and so after we heard of your condition High Priestess Fūka decided to come straight here in order to offer her fortune-telling services to you."

Hazō tried to give Inoue-sensei a subtle death glare for the name she'd given him, but unfortunately, his elaborate headdress narrowed his line of sight too much to make eye contact.

"Verily, my child," he instead intoned in his best mystical voice, "if thou dost seek the best future for the life within thee, then for but a modest fee I shall consult the wisdom of the spirits on thy behalf."

Honami, a tall, very pregnant girl with wavy shoulder-length blonde hair and a daisy-pattern kimono, studied them for a second, then nodded and closed the door of her room behind them.

"Please be seated, Lady Priestess," she gestured to one of the room's two chairs. "I don't normally talk to priests and the like, but I feel you should try anything once."

"Thou hast my gratitude," Hazō said. "Now, before I call upon the spirits, I must ask thee some questions about thy life here at the Mizutani Hot Springs, the better to focus on thy mystical energies."

"As long as you understand there are some things I'd rather keep private," Honami said. "I've just brewed some tea. Would you like a cup?"

"'twould please me greatly," Hazō replied. One of Inoue-sensei's teachings was that placing oneself in a guest-host relationship with the target established a feeling of trust, and of familiar circumstances which caused people to naturally relax.

Honami reached over with the kettle. But as the spout went over the cup, her hand slipped, splashing the hot liquid over Hazō's hand. Hazō felt a surge of pain – followed by horror as his disguise disappeared.

Honami backed away, her eyes wide but oddly unsurprised.

And then she opened her mouth to scream.

15d100 = 842

Click to shrink...

Fast as lightning, Hazō crossed the room, and clapped his hand across her mouth at the very last moment.

"We're not here to hurt you," he hissed. "We just want to talk."

In response, she bit his hand. The same hand.

The extra dose of pain was too much, and he involuntarily let go. Honami made a break for the door, her mouth opening once again.

Just as she placed her hand on the handle, she froze, her eyes glazing over and her mouth falling closed. Hazō looked over to see Inoue-sensei's hands together, forming an unfamiliar seal.

As per their drills, Hazō got out some rope and cloth, and securely tied and gagged Honami, taking care to avoid putting pressure on her abdomen.

He turned to Inoue-sensei. "I don't suppose you can…?"

Inoue-sensei released the genjutsu and shook her head sadly. "I told you, kiddo. I can't. Not anymore.

"I'm going to stand watch outside. You do the talking."

As Inoue-sensei left the room, Hazō came up to Honami. With his disguise now broken, he faced her as his ninja-geared thirteen-year-old self.

"Miss Honami, I promise we're just here to talk."

Honami stared at him. He could see tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Now, if I take off that gag, will you promise to hear me out without trying to raise an alarm?"

After a couple of seconds, Honami finally gave a reluctant nod.

As soon as Hazō removed the gag, she burst out in tears. "Please, please don't hurt the baby. I swear I'll do anything you say. She's no threat to you, and she's only a half-blood and she probably won't inherit Kiyoshi's bloodline anyway. I'll do anything, just don't take her away from me!"

"Please, Miss Honami," Hazō said as gently as he could. "We're not here about the baby. We don't even know who Kiyoshi is."

Honami sniffed, the tears slowly stopping. "You… mean that? You're not from his clan?"

Hazō shook his head.

"And you're not a Hot Springs ninja here to take my baby?"

Hazō shook his head again. "We're ninja from far away who have been assigned on a mission here. If you give us a chance, I'm sure we can find some way to help each other."

Honami visibly calmed down as she thought about this. "You could be lying to me. They say ninja always think ten steps ahead. Maybe you're just trying to manipulate me into not resisting while you do… whatever it is you want to do to me. Maybe that lady isn't really outside, and I'm still in that illusion spell she cast on me, and you're trying to twist my mind so I do what you want. Maybe you're just buying time for some kind of ninja magic or secret drug to take effect so I'll be completely in your power."

That took Hazō by surprise. Honami didn't look like the perceptive type, but apparently appearances really could be deceiving, even if you weren't a ninja. Still, he didn't have a good answer to that observation. Certainly, Inoue-sensei would have been happy to do any and all of those things if the objective demanded it, and had in fact suggested something much along the same lines. It was Hazō's insistence on the potential for uncoerced long-term cooperation that had them negotiating the way they were.

As such, it wasn't going to be easy for Hazō to allay her suspicions. Any line of argument could be perceived as manipulation, and if Honami decided to treat them as enemies, they'd be in the disastrous position of having to either silence her (which would mean killing an innocent and would probably wreck the mission when her disappearance drew attention) or use tools such as blackmail which had a risk of failure and would still cost them a potential ally.​

​

A sudden insight gave him pause. Maybe… maybe this was a time for a leap of faith.

"Miss Honami," he said. "There's nothing I can do to prove our good intentions to you right now. There's no trust between us. But if you don't trust me, at least trust yourself. What does your intuition say about us? Are we friend or foe?"

Honami looked him in the eyes. There was something deep behind her gaze, something that momentarily made his breath catch.

After what felt like a lifetime, she drew herself up authoritatively (at least as authoritatively as she could while still tied up).

"I have a duty to the people at Mizutani," she said in a firm voice that almost didn't waver. "You must swear to me that you won't hurt anybody I'm responsible for – not the staff here, and not the customers who rely on us to protect them. Swear it on your mother's life."

Hazō went still. His mother's life? He didn't even know if she was still alive. But if she was… could he do something like this? Did he have the right to make an oath that affected her future? Hazō was agnostic at best when it came to religion, and there were a lot of superstitions you didn't subscribe to when you had the power to reshape the material world with your mind alone. But some things were sacred, even to ninja, even in Hidden Mist, and few more so than family bonds. A ninja who had no one to fight for was nothing more than a killer.

He chose his words very carefully. "I swear on my mother's life that my team and I did not come here to injure or kill anyone, and that we do not intend to do so except in self-defence and avoiding collateral damage as much as possible."

Honami frowned, visibly running the sentence back and forth through her head. "And you don't expect those intentions to change in the future. And all of this goes for torturing people as well, mentally or physically."

Hazō inwardly winced. Somehow, he felt the balance of the negotiation shifting away from him, even though he was still a ninja and Honami was still a tied-up civilian. But she had him and she knew it – once he had committed to letting her go, she had the advantage, because all she had to do to ruin the mission was to expose his presence.

"I also swear that we did not come here to torture anyone mentally or physically, and that I don't expect those intentions to change in the future."

At least she hadn't asked him to directly swear that he wasn't going to hurt anyone. Hazō suspected that she'd taken care to judge how far she could push him, given that most ninja missions involved some form of harm to the target, and trying to force an oath that directly prevented him from accomplishing his mission would not end well for her here and now.

"And you won't damage the inn itself…" Honami said, then hesitated.

"Except in self-defence and then as little as possible," she conceded. "As before."

"And I swear that we do not intend to damage the inn itself, except in self-defence and then as little as possible, and that I don't expect those intentions to change in the future."

Honami slumped in relief, her shoulders sagging as she fell back against the wall. "You… you can untie me now."

Hazō did, but made sure to stay between her and the door.

"So what do you want from me?" she asked eventually. "You put on that ridiculous getup for a reason, didn't you?"

"I think we can help each other," Hazō said, relieved that the conversation was getting back onto a familiar track. "You said that you think someone is after your baby, didn't you?"

Honami's hands unconsciously went to her stomach. "Kiyoshi was a Hot Springs ninja who came to our resort about seven months ago. We fell in love straight away. But he left the day after we… you know…" she blushed, "and I haven't heard from him since. I'm afraid that his clan found out about me, and now they're keeping him prisoner – or worse. I know that ninja would never let a normal person have a baby with one of their special bloodline powers. Any day now, they'll come to take her away from me. Or maybe they'll just kill us both. I know an ordinary life like mine doesn't mean anything to a ninja."

Hazō flinched.

Then his mind honed in on an important statement. "You said your baby would have a special bloodline power?"

Honami nodded. "When we first met, Kiyoshi was boasting about what a powerful ninja he was, and how he came from a powerful clan and had a… a limited bloodline. It was a little over the top, but I thought there was something charming about how he was trying so hard. I don't know what the bloodline was, though, and he never actually told me the name of his clan.

"I'm sure it was just to protect me," she said with just a little too much force, "until he came back from his journey and married me."

"And you need someone to protect you in case people from his clan turn up," Hazō concluded.

"Me and my child."

In the short term – while they were at the resort – Hazō didn't think it would be a problem, at least as long as everything went smoothly and they didn't get identified and forced to exfiltrate in a hurry. Bodyguard duty was a staple of ninja work. But what would happen afterwards, when they had to leave? They couldn't stick around forever, even if they decided to make the resort a base of operations.

Then an idea struck him.

"This is one of the most popular resorts in the Country of Hot Springs, isn't it?"

Honami gave a proud smile. "That's right. This year, we've had more customers even than Imomura. We're making so much money that Mother is talking about hiring a second genin team."

Her face fell. "Of course, it's not like the first one was able to keep you out. All that wealth, and I still can't feel safe."

To his surprise, Hazō understood. As a missing-nin, it had been such a long time since he'd felt truly safe, even with people he could trust watching his back.

"So," he returned to the point, "you must be paying a lot of taxes to the Village Hidden in the Hot Springs."

Honami nodded.

"In other words, your resort is responsible for a significant proportion of their income."

Honami nodded again, her smile a thing of both satisfaction and bitterness.

"And if you happened to be the proprietress of Mizutani Hot Springs," Hazō concluded triumphantly, "then the ninja wouldn't be able to touch you without cutting their own throat."

Honami's eyes glittered with new possibilities. "You know, I'd never thought of that before. It would get Father off my back too. Owning a hot spring is as high as a low-born person can rise in this country, and then nobody short of a noble or a ninja can tell you what to do."

She grinned as she followed the line of thought. "I heard that a few years ago the yakuza tried to move in on Izumo, and they had two daimyo's guard squads and three angry ninja knocking on their front door the very next day. Nobody wants anything to happen to the person who's been taking care of them during their holidays."

"That's right," Hazō said. "Now, how would you feel about a team of ninja helping you ensure a smooth and early succession – once we're done with our current mission?"

"Just tell me what you need," Honami purred.
​

-o-
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You have received 15 XP.

You have received an additional 1 XP for omake excellence.
​

-o-​

Noburi's research report:

Noburi can't sense chakra through mist, and is kind of confused that Hazō would think that, especially since they haven't been in any mist for a while. He admits that this is an advanced Wakahisa technique, but not one he knows or has so far reverse-engineered.

He has practised sensing chakra through water a lot over the past months. He can identify chakra sources within long range (5 x Vampiric Dew level in metres) in terms of distance, direction and rough size. He can drain them within medium range (Vampiric Dew level in metres), and do so selectively.

While draining someone, he can now sense their chakra pool in enough detail to estimate their current size relative to ones he's sensed before ("a bit bigger than Hazō's", for example). He is inordinately proud of this achievement. If he can touch someone and concentrate for a second or two while in water (i.e. more than a brief tap during combat), he can also identify one or more elements that the target uses frequently (the more frequently, the less time needed to identify it).

In addition, he has learned to drain water-walking ninja, their limited area of contact with water made up for by the fact that they are emitting chakra directly into it.

Noburi made sure that Keiko was in hearing range when he explained all this. Her expression made it impossible to tell whether she was impressed.
​

-o-​

What will you do now?​

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Voting closes on Saturday the 30th​, 9 am New York Time. Note the changed time.​

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 61: First Contact​

"So, how can we help you, Miss Honami?" Hazou asked politely, pouring the tea and setting a cup in Honami's hands.

He was sitting seiza with the pregnant girl in her rooms. Inoue-sensei knelt beside him, henged as a vaguely attractive girl in her mid-teens with brown hair dyed streaky green. So far she'd been content to have him do the talking; Hazou found the implications of that a little disturbing.

"I don't know," Honami said, blowing on the tea to cool it. The nausea and weakness of her pregnancy made her hands tremble, making tiny rings dance across the surface of the tea, although she did her best to control it. "I don't know what ninja can do...civilians hear all sorts of rumors, but we never know if they're true. Can you really outrun the wind and dance on the clouds? Or snap your fingers and conjure gods and demons?"

Hazou glanced at Inoue-sensei, but got only an eye-smile in return. She really wasn't going to help.

"There's a lot of variation in what ninja can do," Hazou said carefully. "For obvious reasons I'd rather not reveal exactly what my group is capable of, but I suspect there's a lot we could do for you. As to the particular examples you gave...no. As far as I'm aware, no one can do those things. Ninja can travel very fast, but we can't outrun the wind." He smiled. "Well, except on a very calm day. Dancing on clouds is right out, though."

"Hm," Honami said thoughtfully. "Is it true that you have scrolls that can make things vanish and then reappear?"

"More or less," Hazou said. "You can use a scroll to put something into storage outside the world. It doesn't age while it's there so it's a good way to transport food and other perishables. There's limits on the weight and volume, though. And it doesn't handle fragile things very well." He paused, thinking, then decided to go for it. "As it happens, my group has quite a few storage scrolls."

"That could be very valuable," Honami said. "There's a lot of resorts around here, and we're all competing for customers. Every time someone comes up with a new innovation we all have to have it or we lose business. We're all constantly reaching out to merchants, asking them to bring in exotic spices and goods from far away so that we can differentiate ourselves. Those things are really expensive, though, and the caravans travel slowly. It takes months or years to get anything really special, and it's generally too expensive to get much of it. If you can bring lots of something and do it quickly we could outcompete all the other resorts."

"What did you have in mind?" Hazou asked, sipping his tea.

"Ice," Honami said.

Hazou raised an eyebrow. "Ice? I'd been expecting spices, chocolate, something like that."

Honami shook her head. "We all have standing orders for those things, and they aren't terribly visible, so they only give a marginal advantage. Ice, on the other hand—" She cocked her head, frowning, as a thought hit her. "Um...I'm sorry if this is rude, but I don't know where you're from or how much experience you would have had with this." She bowed deeply. "Please excuse me if this seems obvious, but how familiar are you with ice houses here in Hot Springs?"

Hazou shrugged. "I assume it's like anywhere else, right? You collect ice in the winter, put a lot of it in the ice house and cover it in sawdust or dirt so that it doesn't melt, and then you can use it to keep food cold through the summer."

She nodded. "Yes, exactly. But there's no mountains in Hot Springs to get the ice from, and the volcanic activity that generates the springs keeps our country warmer than most of the surrounding areas. There's only so many lakes that actually freeze in the winter, so there's only so much ice to be had. When we have a warm winter there sometimes isn't enough ice to go around. Many of the ice cutters actually run commercial ice houses."

Hazou nodded thoughtfully. "Ice is valuable, and it's not something that can be transported long distances by civilians. You pretty much have to get it locally, but we could bring it in year-round, and that would significantly reduce your operating expenses. Let you shift money to other things."

"More than that," Honami said. "In years when ice is really cheap, the richest resorts will buy extra. We'll hire a sculptor to carve the ice into flowers, animals, or other beautiful decorations, and put them out by the gates. Very eye-catching and a sign of tremendous wealth. It always attracts a lot of new business. We also shave it, add crushed fruit and a little alcohol, and serve it as a treat. Guests will pay to the skies for those things. In the hottest months we charge the moon and the stars for a glass of ice water. We've only been able to spare the ice two years in the last ten, but we made a lot more in those years than average—eighty-seven percent and one hundred and thirteen percent more, respectively."

Hazou whistled. "That is a lot," he said. "The Land of Frost isn't too far away, though. Don't they have ice all the time? Can't you hire Hot Springs ninja to go there and bring it back?"

She shrugged. "In theory," she said. "But missions that require going outside the country are incredibly expensive. It ends up not being worth it."

"Hm," Hazou said, nodding. "Whereas, as m—ninja from outside the country, we aren't limited that way. Interesting." He thought about it some more, then nodded. "Yes, we could do that. Crossing borders is risky, though. What could you give us in exchange?"

"We're a second-tier resort, but we're at the top of that tier," she said. "We already get mid-level nobles, rich merchants, scribes, ninja—all sorts of important and influential people. If we had a regular ice contract we could become first-tier within a year. Then we'd be getting daimyos and people at that level." She smiled. "People come here to relax. Relaxed people talk a lot, and are more open to deals. Guess what you hear from some noble or merchant as he's lying back in the lounge with a hostess cuddled up to him, a masseuse working on his feet, and three or four peach brandy icies inside him?"

"I don't know," Hazou said. "What do you hear?"

She ticked points off on her fingers. "In the last three weeks I've learned that one particular noble is sleeping with another's wife, that the rice fields in the north have been devastated by chakra mites, and that a caravan loaded with chocolate was going to be arriving the following week. Usually a caravan has to come in, take rooms, rent a stall in the market, get the word out that they've arrived, sell their product in order to generate the money they need to resupply, then haggle for the goods that they'll take on the next leg of their trip. All that time they're staying in inns and buying food here, where the prices are inflated by all the local resorts."

She gave a predatory smile. "I convinced one of the factors to go out and meet the caravan two days from town. He found out what they wanted for their next leg and what prices they would accept, then he and his guards ran back to town. By the time the caravan's slow-moving wagons arrived our people were waiting at the gate with everything they needed and swapped it for their entire supply of chocolate. It gave them a much better net profit and meant that until the next chocolate caravan comes in, we have chocolate and our competitors don't."

Hazou looked at Inoue-sensei, impressed. She gave him a miniscule nod as though to say 'keep going'.

"How did your father feel about that?" Hazou asked.

Honami's smile transformed into tight-lipped frustration. "He wouldn't have thought of it," she said angrily. "Of course, I can't just suggest things to him. It's not appropriate for a woman to engage in business, you know. I always need to trick him into thinking it's his idea."

"Mm-hm," Hazou said. "Interesting. Would it be useful to you if your father weren't...in the picture anymore?"

"What are you saying?" Honami asked suspiciously. "That you're going to kill him?"

Hazou shrugged. "I'm just exploring options," he said. "He sounds like he's making your life pretty hard. I was wondering if there was some way we could help."

She laughed bitterly. "Not unless you can give him a new personality," she said. "And no, I don't want you to kill him. As angry as he makes me, he's a good father."

"Oh?" Inoue-sensei asked, one eyebrow going up. "How so?"

Suddenly Honami seemed much less confident "Well..." she said. "He never beats me."

Inoue-sensei snorted. "By that definition, I'm a good father," she said. "Try again. What makes him a good father?"

"He takes care of me," she said. "I've never wanted for anything."

"Mm-hm," Inoue-sensei said doubtfully.

"I haven't!" Honami said.

"Okay," Inoue-sensei said, raising her hands placatingly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry. That was rude of me, and I apologize. I'll shut up now." She gave an embarrassed shrug and mimed pinching her mouth closed.

"You know," Hazou said carefully, "we might be able to help you, actually. We can't literally give him a new personality, but there are some medicines that would help him relax, make him happier. If he were happier he'd probably be willing to be more reasonable with you. You're clearly good for the resort, he should be letting you help."

Honami opened her mouth to object, then paused. "What kind of medicine?" she asked uncertaintly.

Hazou shrugged. "I'm not a doctor myself, but I know one," he said. "We could talk to her about what a good option would be. Something non-harmful, that you could give him discreetly—maybe in a glass of sake at dinner?"

"That...doesn't sound right," Honami said. "I shouldn't be drugging my father."

"No, no, not drugs," Hazou said. "Nothing harmful. Just something to help him relax and enjoy his life more. He sounds like an insecure man, someone who's nervous and angry a lot. I don't know a lot about medicine, but I do know that stress causes people to make worse decisions, and even reduces lifespan. You'd be doing him a tremendous favor by helping him with his problem."

"He is angry an awful lot," Honami said. "But...I shouldn't."

Hazou glanced at Inoue-sensei and got a micrometric headshake.

He looked back at Honami and gave a perfectly casual shrug. "Well, I'll ask my friend for a recommendation anyway," he said. "Can't hurt. For now, we should probably head out soon so that we can get together with our team and figure out how to make the ice deliveries work. Before we go, let's nail down some basics. How much ice would you need and how often?"

"How much can you supply?" Honami shot back.

Hazou waved the question aside. "From the other side, please. I don't know where we'll need to go or how easy it will be to get. I need numbers so that we can figure out if it's practical."

"Well..." Honami said. "A one-meter cube weighs a ton. Can you transport that?"

"Um," Hazou said, thinking about it. "Not if you need it in one piece. Our storage scrolls won't take more than a hundred kilos. We might be able to find some bigger ones, though." He was careful to say 'find' instead of 'make'. Granted, it would need some research, but it shouldn't be hard to make higher-capacity scrolls.

"All right," Honami said. "That's fine. A cube the size of my fist"—she held out a dainty, adorably non-combat-ready fist—"is enough to make three or four icies. I'd need to be able to supply at least six before I could reasonably make the offer to anyone, and ten would be better. Each person will typically want two or three per day, and sometimes more. Not being able to provide them is worse than not offering them at all."

Hazou nodded. "Okay. So, let's call it four fist-sized blocks of ice. Yeah, we could transport that much. I'll talk to the team about if we want to do it and how. I'll want your help in exchange, though."

"With what?" Honami asked suspiciously.

"We were sent here to retrieve a scroll from one of your guests," Hazou said. "Joutarou. He should have it on him."

"You want to steal from a guest?" Honami said doubtfully.

Spoiler: dice

Hazou, Diplomacy:
8d100: 393

Honami, Diplomacy:
?d100: 308

"That's the deal," Hazou said. "We're ninja. We steal things and spy on people. You help us do that, we'll help you turn this into the richest resort in Hot Springs."

He watched her struggle for a moment. "If it helps," he said. "If someone pays us to show up at your door, you probably did something to bring us there."

"You're not going to kill him?" Honami asked.

"Not unless he makes us," Hazou said. "Our mission is to get the scroll, and there's a bonus if no one knows it's been taken. We'll steal it and replace it with a fake. As long as Joutarou doesn't walk in on us at the wrong moment and attack us, there won't be any fighting."

Honami thought about that. "All right," she said unhappily. "I can help you with that, if you bring me the ice first."

"Getting the ice will take time and means crossing the border with Frost," Hazou said. "That's risky. It would be a lot easier for us to do the mission first."

Honami shook her head. "No. How do I know that you'd come back? Once you have your scroll, you could just leave."

Hazou sighed. "Look, there needs to be some trust in order for any relationship to get started," he said. "We don't actually need any help to do this mission, so there's two ways it could go down. You can stand clear, we do the mission, we leave and you never see us again. Or you could help us, we do the ice retrieval for you, and we have the basis for a future that's good for both of us."

Honami thought about that. She had a good poker face, but Hazou was sure that she was thinking through the branches on the conversational tree.

Possible Future Honami: I could alert the Hot Springs ninja forces and they would stop you.

Possible Future Hazou: Are you sure you want to threaten us, a team of highly skilled magical kung fu battle wizards?

Possible Future Honami: Oh. Um, no. No, I do not want that.

Or, along a different branch...

Possible Future Honami: I refuse to cooperate in anything that harms my customers! I won't interfere, but I won't help you either.

Possible Future Hazou: Okay. Say goodbye to your dreams of fabulous wealth and influence in the world. Also, I might go tell the Hot Springs ninja about your maybe-has-a-bloodline baby.

Possible Future Honami: No, please! I'll steal the scroll for you! You won't have to do a thing!

Possible Future Hazou: Mwahaha! Dance, little civilian puppet!

"All right," Honami said. "I'll help. You said it was a scroll, and it's important, so he'll probably have it with him. He won't be able to take it into the baths, though, so he would have to leave it in his room or in the clothes cupboard. Rei is responsible for watching the customers' clothes, but she'll let me check them if I tell her that I think Joutarou might have stolen something. For his room, I can get the spare key and let you in."

"Just tell us where the keys are and we'll get them ourselves," Hazou said. "Then you aren't at risk."

Honami smiled. "But then you don't need me," she pointed out. "The more useful I am, the more likely I am to get my ice."

Hazou blinked in surprise; Inoue-sensei laughed.

"Fine," Hazou said, smiling. "You get the key and let us in. What about the dogs? We can get past them, but we'd prefer not to take chances. Can you get them out of the way?"

Honami thought about that. "Not without being obvious about it," she said at last. "I can introduce you to them, though. If you go down there with me, feed them, pet them a little, then they'll think you're safe and they won't bark at you."

"Okay," Hazou said. "That sounds good." He hesitated. "There's one more thing," he said slowly. "I'd like to get a friend of mine into the same water as Joutarou, but not in the same pool. Is there a way?"

Honami frowned. "What? Why would you want that?"

"Is there a way?" Hazou asked, ignoring the question.

"...Maybe," Honami said, thinking it through. "The springs come up from the side of the hill and run down into the soaking pools. The pools drain downhill through a sluice gate. If your friend gets into the runoff channel he'll be in the same water. Will that work?"

Hazou nodded gratefully. "Yes, that should be fine," he said. "Thank you. Can we—"

Spoiler: Dice

Inoue, Awareness:
?d100: 735*hurls cursed dice out window*

Hazou, Awareness:
12d100: 610See? See?! That's what average rolls look like, you stupid dice!

Approaching footsteps:
?d100: 601

Hazou cut himself off in midword just as Inoue-sensei's head turned in response to the footsteps at the end of the hall. Honami caught their motions; a moment later she heard the sounds as well.

"Go!" she said. "That's Mother, coming to check on me!"

The two ninja were out the window before Honami finished her sentence, dropping casually into the bushes two stories below and vanishing.

o-o-o-o​

"Not bad, Mr. Mew," Noburi said as Hazou finished his report.

Without looking, Hazou flung a balled-up scrap of paper at him from across the room. Noburi caught it, laughing.

"I'm worried about breaking into Joutarou's room," Hazou said. "The way he moves, he looks like a fighter. If it turns out that he's a ninja he might have put traps in the room. Keiko, with your pangolins...when a summons is hurt it goes back to its own realm, right? It doesn't really die?"

Keiko shook her head. "No. When a creature from the Summon Realm is brought here, it is not the actual creature that arrives. The summoning ritual constructs a chakra envelope into which the summoned animal's mind is projected. If the body is disrupted before the being is dismissed then the mind is flung back without time to prepare. It's quite painful and debilitating, but does not actually cause real injury. The summon does have all the memories of what happened to it while it was here, though. That can be traumatic—for example, imagine what it would feel like to remember yourself being stabbed in the heart, even if it didn't happen to your real body. The other problem is that when a summon's body is disrupted it destabilizes the aetheric channel through which the ritual operates. The pangolin that is connected to that channel can't be called again, and can't reverse-summon me, until the channel stabilizes. That can be anywhere from hours to weeks, and the exact duration is nearly impossible to predict. Stronger summons lead 'larger' channels, though, and those tend to take longer to restabilize."

Hazou nodded slowly. "Okay," he said. "So, hypothetically, if you summoned Pandaa and asked him to search Joutarou's room he wouldn't really be at risk from any seals or traps? The worst that would happen is that he'd be sent back and you wouldn't be able to summon him for a while?"

"Yes," Keiko said, her voice cold enough to make a thousand icies. "Do you think it is a good idea to ask my summon to sacrifice himself for no reason?"

"It's not no reason, Keiko," Inoue said firmly. "It's to keep you safe. That is exactly what summons are for, is to aid and protect their summoners. Pandaa is a great kid, but I would much rather that he experience some temporary discomfort than that you die from a poison needle."

"Yes, sensei," Keiko said, abashed.

"Do you think it likely that there will be poison needle traps, sensei?" Akane asked.

Spoiler: Dice

Inoue, Deception:
?d100: 1,044Okay, maybe this is selection bias on my part. I'm going to start keeping track. Low:2, High:0

Joutaro, Deception:
?d100: 843

Inoue nodded. "Yep. The way Joutarou moves, I'm pretty sure he's a ninja. I'd be amazed if there aren't traps in his room."

"You don't think..." Hazou began before pausing. They were going to laugh at him, he was sure of it. Still, better to be embarrassed than right about this. He took a deep breath and gathered his courage.

"There's no chance that Joutarou is Jiraiya, is there?" he asked, immediately flinging himself backwards, kicking his chair towards Inoue-sensei in order to give himself an extra moment to escape the ruthless hair-ruffling that—

—totally failed to occur.

Everyone stared at him as though he were insane.

"Is something wrong, Hazou?" Inoue-sensei asked, false concern layered over barely-suppressed laughter. "You seem nervous."

Hazou eyed her warily as he picked up his chair and sat down. "I'm fine," he said. "Is it possible?"

"Well," Inoue said, before flinging herself out of her chair at him, hands in hair-ruffling position.

Spoiler: Dice

Inoue, Hair-Ruffle no Jutsu:
?d100: 806Low:3, High: 0

Hazou, dodge Hair-Ruffle no Jutsu:
15d100: 652

Eventually Inoue stood up and took her seat again, snickering all the while. Hazou climbed to his feet with a sigh and pulled a brush out of his pocket. As thorough as she'd been, nothing less was going to get the job done.

"No, I don't think Jiraiya is Joutarou," Inoue said. "I chatted him up at the buffet yesterday, tried one of the code words that he gave us back before the Liberator mission. He didn't react at all." She shrugged. "Or, alternatively, he gets so many women talking to him about lingerie shopping that he didn't realize it was a code word. Still, I don't think it's him."

"But he is a ninja?" Noburi said. "Who do you think the woman and the kid are?"

Inoue shrugged. "Part of his cover, maybe? Or a pair of civilians that he's escorting? They've both been staying out of sight. I haven't managed to get a good look at either of them. We'll know more once Noburi manages to check his chakra levels."

"Easier to just squish him," Kagome muttered. "Boom. Done."

"Kagome," Inoue said reprovingly. "We promised not to hurt any of the guests or blow the inn up."

"I didn't promise anything," Kagome said grumpily. "Boom. So much easier."

"Kagome," Inoue said.

"Fine."

o-o-o-o​

Noburi dipped a hand into the hot water that was sluicing over the rocks beside him. For a moment his fingers felt like they were being parboiled, but once he adjusted to the heat it was nice.

From the particular set of soaking pools that Honami had carefully steered Joutarou to, the water spilled down a rocky slope and into a small creek. Noburi had spent three hours in a hot and stuffy ghillie suit, carefully creeping across the rocks until he was close enough to drain the residents of the pool. He couldn't see up to where the pool itself was, but that was fine; if he couldn't see them then they shouldn't be able to see him.

He pushed his bloodline out from his fingertips, traces of his chakra spreading through the water. There were miniscule flickers of chakra from the mosses and lichens on the rocks, but nothing significant. His awareness reached farther up, creeping into the pool itself, only to find—

He yanked his hand out of the water as though he'd been burned and forced himself not to run.

Oh yeah, Joutaro was a ninja.

---

XP AWARD: 13

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 3, 2016, at 12pm London time.

---

Note: Honami took you into the dog kennels late last night. The dogs are acclimated to Inoue, Hazou, Noburi, and Akane; they probably won't bark at those four. Keiko they were a little standoffish with, and you aren't sure how they'll react to her out on the grounds. Kagome's nervousness set them off and you had to retreat quickly. They will almost certainly raise the alarm if they see or smell him. Kagome muttered darkly about "stinking fuzzballs" and the unfairness of it all, but he apparently is a big softy where dogs are concerned, because he didn't suggest blowing them up even once.

You've got a map of the terrain and the inside of the resort.

You have a protocol for making contact with Honami in the future.

Since she was willing to introduce you to the dogs you decided not to drug their food.

Honami checked Joutarou's clothes while he was soaking; there was nothing surprising in them. You have not checked his rooms yet.

You have three days left in your mission window before you need to return to your client. No one has approached Joutarou yet.

For reference, here's the details of your mission again:

Your mission, received from a nondescript man in a perfectly ordinary room in a typical inn, is to retrieve cyphered information in physical form (likely but not guaranteed to be a scroll) from an individual staying at the Mizutani Hot Springs within a certain time window. The target will be identifiable by a piece of red and green cloth, which they will be wearing somewhere on their head or neck at all times.

Click to shrink...

You will receive a bonus if the information is obtained without alerting anyone, but the client does not object to torturing the information out of the target should it prove necessary.

Click to shrink...

You need to retrieve the scroll (or other item), but you can leave the deciphering to the client.

The client was quite intelligent about their contingencies.

• Getting away unnoticed is better than alerting anyone to your actions, but both are secondary concerns to retrieving the scroll.
• Retrieving the scroll is better than merely acquiring the information in it.
• Destroying the scroll is better than failing to retrieve it.
• Retrieving the scroll (or, failing that, the information on it) through torture is better than leaving the target unalerted and in possession of same.

Click to shrink...

And, also for the record, the codewords you have with Jiraiya are, as mentioned in Chapter 24: Meeting the Liberator and collected by our fearless Appalachian-trail-hiking companion, Radvic:

• A keyword identifier for (hopeful) amnesty in case the camp gets roflstomped by the allied nations while we are infiltrating it. - "dango"
• A sentence that we can bring up in casual conversion to (optionally) reveal ourselves to fellow infiltrators. - any mention of Princess Genchi
• An emergency word that we can blurt out in case we find ourselves in ninja combat with someone who might also be infiltrators. - "boudoir"
• A word to identify us to our Friend again. - "lingerie"
• Another word in case we want to send someone else to our Friend who is friendly. "panty-shot"
• Another word in case we want to send an enemy to our Friend. (If we get tortured, or if there is someone we want to get killed, but we can't do it for some because they are too strong or it would be too suspicious) - "bubble-bath"

Click to shrink...

 

[Velorien]

Interlude: The Last Hours of Sunlight
by @Velorien
​

The Mori Clan were not the most revered in Hidden Mist. While some clans could step across the fabric of space in an instant, leaving waves of lightning in their wake, and others could swamp their opponents with constructed giant crabs, the Mori were sometimes referred to as "human abacuses" by the ignorant, their support specialisation rendering them second-class citizens until the time came when Mist's forces could not coordinate without them.

But no matter how many fools might scorn the Mori, none could deny their jealousy at the magnificence of the Mori compound.

Most of the buildings had been designed many generations ago by Mori Genzō, a branch family member with particularly weak access to the Frozen Skein who had instead turned his attention to architecture. Finding his inspiration in nature, he drew on the patterns and dimensions of seashells, trees and the more fascinating parts of animal anatomy to create houses of mathematically perfect ratios and elegant asymmetry. Works of art from the outside, inside the rooms were proportioned so as to instill mental and emotional calm while still serving essential ninja functions of privacy and security. Any intruders would find themselves hopelessly turned around until they stumbled into a fiendish series of traps, while residents who had memorised Genzō's design principles could be blindfolded with their legs tied together, and still be able to navigate the compound as if it were a set of ordinary civilian dwellings.

No Mori since had ever approached Genzō's genius, and whenever new construction was necessary, they could only draw on the library of blueprints he had left behind – a treasure guarded as jealously as any scroll of secret clan techniques. To this day, the reward for a Mori who had done the clan a great service was a haori decorated with one of Genzō's signature fractal symbols.

None of this was a clan secret – the Mori were happy to boast of their unique architecture to anyone who asked, which was usually no one. But Mitsuhide, a regular at the Chiaroscuro Chamber, had asked, and since he was a fellow connoisseur of the arts, and one who occasionally gave her foreign sweets besides, Kei had seen it as her obligation to enlighten him.
​

-o-
​

"The rose that blooms in spring will wilt by autumn, but a rose preserved in ice will last forever," Kei read out from the scroll in front of her.

Master Saruhiko nodded. "Good. You have completed Cypher Level Eight. But you must try harder in the future – when your sister was undergoing genin training, she cracked this one in under five minutes."

How did Master Saruhiko even remember a minor detail of something that had happened a good six years ago? No, that was a foolish question. The man was only a few ranks away from being an elder. Rumours said he was able to use the Frozen Skein in combat. It would be stranger if he didn't have a perfect memory.

And that memory once again placed her within her sister's shadow. Ami was perfect. It was an incontestable, undeniable statement. She had received ninjutsu training from Uehida Minori herself. She was so strong, they let her take point in the field despite the fact that she was a Mori. If there were such a thing as a Jōnin Exam (there wasn't, and there would be consequences for anyone who suggested otherwise too loudly), she would already be about to take it. She mocked the Mori Voice, or so she claimed. She even knew how to talk to people. They laughed at her jokes and never gave her strange looks when she made sensible observations.

One day, Kei wanted to be Ami. But apparently everyone else wanted the same thing, and they wanted her to be Ami now.

It was only noon, and Kei was already starting to feel unhappy. But the day had a saving grace – Kei had the afternoon off, and the new exhibition at the Chiaroscuro Chamber was already singing its siren song.
​

-o-​

Kei watched the hypnotic shifting of the shadows on the white walls of the Chamber, their precise dance telling a story that, she knew, every watcher would invent and interpret for themselves. To her, the rising sinuous curve was a serpent about to strike at the heavens. But a brief flicker of motion, a shadow that moved like a negative sunbeam, pierced its head, and the serpent changed its path, enlightenment guiding it back down to the earth where the depths would reshape it into a dragon. Yet in the corner, the cupped hands of the goddess wavered and spilled their blessing into the void. Should the serpent have kept rising beyond itself, beyond the spiked peaks and into a different existence, or was it right to follow the inspiration that led it deeper within its soul?

A gentle chime rang out. The lights faded. The mirrors swivelled back into the walls. The painted wooden blocks stayed where they were, but Yumi would be here in a minute to collect them. She loathed having anyone else touch her belongings.

"Well," Mitsuhide sighed, "it ends too soon, as always. Please give my compliments to your cousin on her ever-growing skills. That was a very fine ending, with the forest spirit submitting to the aspiring sage."

Kei nodded. Yumi's "art installation", as she called it, received few visitors, mostly travellers and a handful of merchants that visited Mist on a regular basis. Mitsuhide was one of these, and invariably generous with his contributions to the donation box, even if the forgetful silk trader always dropped in a variety of coins from different countries, most of them near-worthless here. Not that he was the only one – a number of visitors seemed to think that the symbolism of the gesture was more important than actually supporting Yumi's art (though in reality the Chiaroscuro Chamber was fully funded by the clan, and Kei wasn't entirely sure why the donation box was really there).

It was a rule of the Chiaroscuro Chamber that any Mori present at closing time would carry the donation box home, leaving Yumi free to stay and maintain the equipment, especially the expensive chemical lights. Yumi had not failed to impress upon the rest of the clan that the donations were an invaluable contribution to the Mori finances (which was a lie), and as such the loss of even a single coin from the box would place the deliverer in mortal peril (which probably wasn't).

Kei frowned as she picked the box up. Her intuition was tingling, telling her something was off. Something about the box? No, it was the same as always, in colour, size, shape and approximate weight. That only left one obvious possibility.

She looked at the foreign coins more closely. Four Leaf ryō. Two Frost ryō. Nine of those peculiar little coins they used in Fang. Kei quickly went through the rest of the coins. That combination… it was exactly the same as the last time Mitsuhide had left a donation in her presence (she'd been training her memory – one day it would need to be as good as Master Saruhiko's if she was going to become an elder herself). It seemed Kei had stumbled across something important.
​

-o-
​

Kei walked the familiar path to the underground treasury as her mind cycled through possibilities.

The labyrinthine corridors would confuse anybody who didn't know that they were patterned after the distinctive arrangement of veins on the leaves of the greater ravenous bloodflower (the branch family kept a few tame ones in the Garden of the Taken), and thus all one had to do was to take a step backwards and to the left or right, as appropriate, wherever a greater vein intersected with a lesser one. Needless to say, stepping in the wrong direction, where a real bloodflower would have its tiny hairs, resulted in instant death. Different segments of the leaf had different traps, to account for ninja with a variety of special abilities, and a typical intruder would end up dying to all of them – some twice – before they had a chance of finding the true exit. Someone like Kei, on the other hand, could walk from one end to the other in thirty seconds at an unhurried pace.

This time, Kei did not hurry away from the treasury and its somewhat intimidating atmosphere after handing over the box, but stayed next to Uncle Junpei, curious to see what he would do. She watched, as unobtrusively as possible, while her uncle sank deep into the Frozen Skein. Eventually, he picked the coins out of the box, one by one, stacked them according to currency and value, and then did something strange.

He took each coin, in order, and slowly ran the tip of his right finger around its ridges, before putting it down in a specific position and picking up the next.

After some time, with all the coins processed in this strange fashion, Uncle Junpei opened his eyes and withdrew from his focused state.

"What were you doing, Uncle?" Kei asked, cursing her lack of subtlety even as she opened her mouth.

"Checking for counterfeits, little Keiko," Uncle Junpei explained. "I don't mind you watching – elders willing, you'll be the one doing this job instead of me one day – but do bear in mind this is a secret Mori art, so don't go blabbing about it to everyone, OK?"

Kei gave him an insulted look, or what she hoped came across as an insulted look.

"Now, would you be a dear and go ask Elders Kazushi and Mirano to come down here?" Uncle Junpei asked, looking at the coins contemplatively. "There's something I want to talk to them about."

Unfortunately, that was as far as Kei's investigation went that day. Elder Kazushi promptly sent her on a series of trivial errands, and by the time she was done, the sun had set and it was too late for anything but dinner and bed. Nevertheless, she resolved to take the time to find out what was really going on – perhaps after she came back from her upcoming mission, she would have earned a sufficient measure of trust.
​

-o-
​

There was only one day left before the mission. Kei was simultaneously excited and scare- nervous. Very nervous. She would be working under Sumie-sensei in the logistics team, and while Sumie-sensei was no Ami, she was kind and thoughtful and almost eerily competent, qualities which comfortably placed her among Kei's top ten people.

This was the mission which would establish Kei as a ninja in her own right, with her own career and her own unique strengths. She would earn the elders' trust with her performance, make her family proud, and be inducted into the clan's advanced techniques and ancient secrets. And she wouldn't have to flail around trying and failing to earn everyone's affection, because she would already have their respect.

"Whatcha doing, runt?" a familiar voice interrupted her daydreams.

"Ami," she said. She recalled where her sister had been for the last hour. "How is Aunt Noriko?"

Her sister looked uncharacteristically grim. "Elder Ina's been working on her day and night. Says it's fifty-fifty odds. Not as bad as it could be, but still…"

Kei did a double-take. "Fifty-fifty?"

"Yeah. We've got the full story now, and apparently she didn't just go too deep. That scumsucker Ayanami wanted to show off his new Lightning technique, and he overextended and pulled the unit straight into an ambush. She had to use that, or it would've been a full wipe."

Kei blinked. Several times. "But… that doesn't mean…"

"It doesn't mean anything. Aunt Noriko's a fighter, Keiko. She's got twice the balls that Ayanami's going to once I'm done with him. She's not going to the Garden. She's going to come back, and when she does, you can tell her all about your heroics on your first big mission, how's that?"

Kei nodded uncertainly.

"Anyway, listen, I've got a going-away present for you. You'll love this: it's my lucky shuriken."

The thing she handed Kei did not look lucky. Rather, it looked like an abomination the mere touch of which would earn her a thousand-year curse.

"It's bright pink," Kei stated flatly.

"Yep."

"With flowers and rainbows painted on it."

"That's right."

"And is that… is that a sheep surrounded by shōjo sparkles?"

"It's supposed to be a kirin."

Ami saw her expression.

"Hey, I never claimed to be an artist! That's why it's got 'Chārī the Kirin of Maidenly Love' written under it, just so there's no confusion."

Kei looked up and met her sister's eyes.

"Ami," she said slowly, "if you wish me to be your second in a ceremony of honourable suicide, there are easier ways to ask."

"Nono," Ami shook her head, "you've got it all wrong. It's, like, you know that expression 'she's drawn her last shuriken'?"

"Yes," Kei nodded, "I am in fact familiar with basic idiom as learned by children from the age of five upwards."

"Great," Ami beamed. "I'd hate to see that all my years of hard work bringing you up had gone to waste.

"So when you draw your last shuriken, it means your situation is so desperate that you've finally run out of options, right? Well this is my last shuriken, and I will beat the Mizukage in an even fight before I let someone force me to draw this thing in front of them.

"And now, it's your last shuriken. You'll make your way safe and sound out of any pinch, because the alternative is to let your friends and enemies see you wielding that shuriken in battle."

Kei held her sister's gaze, feeling her eyes grow wet. Only this woman could take a piece of ridiculous, offensive tomfoolery… and turn it into an expression of deep affection.

"Make me proud out there, runt. Aunt Noriko and I will be waiting to welcome you back."
​

-o-​

Voting closes on Saturday the 6th​, 9 am Pacific Standard Time.​

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 62: Scaredy-Cats in the Night​

Mari had chosen her outfit with care; a one-piece sea-foam-green swimsuit with a low back, a pair of cheap wooden wedge-heeled sandals, and a wide-brimmed straw hat. The suit was attractive but not alluring and the green was much less eye-catching than her red one. The sandals clicked noisily when she walked and the soles were high and slightly uneven, making her both just a bit unsteady when she walked. She had plenty of experience with walking like a fit civilian instead of gliding like a trained ninja, but part of that experience was to use equipment that made the disguise easier. Also, the shoes were loose enough that they could be kicked off instantly if she needed to fight. Kicked off into an opponent's head, even.

The hat, of course, was the most important part. The ultra-wide brim cast shadows across her face and made it hard to tell which direction she was looking. She appeared to be facing straight ahead, absorbed in her book. In actuality, her eyes were locked on Joutarou and the quiet conversation he was having at the other end of the veranda.

Joutarou wasn't really her type—the brash, noisy ones usually weren't nearly as good in the sack as they thought and had too much ego to be educated—but his conversation partner...mmmmmm. Yum.

On the short side for a man, he was only six or seven inches taller than she was. Perfect. She could wear heels and still be shorter, but they were close enough not to be awkward in bed. He was lean and fit, although fit like a civilian and not a ninja. Also good; ninja were suspicious of everyone, even their lovers, and usually a giant ball of traumatic stress issues and unexpected triggers.

Long fingers and expressive hands, silky chestnut hair that tumbled just past his collar and was gathered into a loose pony tail. She had to drag herself back from thoughts of what it would feel like to run her fingers through it, make a fist in it and pull him in close, feeling the heat of those soft hands on her skin....

She forced herself to drag her eyes over to the much less appealing Joutarou before she started unconscious griding her hips on the lounger. Besides, Mr. Yummy had his back to her and she still hadn't managed to see his face. Joutarou, on the other hand, she could see in three-quarter profile. He was well out of hearing range, but plenty close enough for lipreading. It was one more piece of evidence in the 'combat asset, not professional intelligence operative' bucket.

—say you could have hurried a little more, Joutarou said. Those two are a complete pain in the ass. He's nervouser than a mouse at a cat party and she's more defensive than a...a very defensive person.

Mr. Yummy must have said something because Joutarou glowered.

Fine, he said. Whatever, at least you're finally here. Just—he scratched his cheek, blocking her view of his mouth for a moment—another mission and you've made me late as it is.

Mr. Yummy's hands moved, and presumably so did what she imagined would prove to be a pair of full, deliciously nibblable lips.

No, she hasn't given me the key, Joutarou said. She thought I'd ditch them if she gave it up.

Mr. Yummy nodded, one hand making a throwing-away gesture. He turned, Joutarou falling in beside him as the two made their way back to the main building and Joutarou's room. Mari finally got a good look at him.

On the one hand, disappointing: not quite what she'd hoped. The lips that she'd been daydreaming about were a little thin and the nose was wider than she preferred. No scars, skin that was neither good nor bad, dark nor light. Nothing eye-catching or memorable about that face at all. Very forgettable.

On the other hand, wow. That face was so incredibly forgettable it almost screamed 'SPY!' It made him even yummier; spies were tons of fun to talk to because they generally had the same sort of training she did. Emotional awareness, active listening, empathetic projection, mirroring, identification of primary drives...all the things that made someone fun to be around and easy to talk to. Better yet, most spies weren't as good at it as she was.

Best yet was that all those skills made them very attentive and enthusiastic lovers.

Her lips quirked in a tiny smile. She really, really needed to get laid. For almost a year now she'd been riding herd on three hormonal balls of teenage angst. Oh, and don't forget the adorable Golden Retriever in human form, and the poster child for paranoia and PTSD. (Well, more like a Border Collie—Goldens were dumb as a box of hammers, and despite her status as an evangelical Power of Youth preacher, Akane was pretty bright. And Kagome wasn't actually the poster child for paranoia; he was far too paranoid to have ever allowed his picture to be taken for a poster. If anyone had made a poster of him, Kagome had no doubt blown it up.)

Joutarou and Mr. Yummy were leaving the veranda, headed back into the building and out of sight. Mari pondered her next move; there wasn't really a plausible reason for her to follow them inside. Her room wasn't on their wing, or even on the same floor—she was on the first floor in the north wing and Joutarou's group was on the second floor of the east wing.

It would depend on what they did next; it was two o'clock already, which was a little late in the day to start traveling. From what Joutarou had said it was clear that he was passing the woman and the boy—and, presumably, the scroll (or whatever it was)—off to Mr. Yummy. It wasn't entirely clear if Joutarou would be leaving on his own or escorting the three from here; if he went along then the team would need to figure something out. If he left on his own then they could pretty much do what they wanted with the three civilians.

She chuckled quietly. 'Do what they wanted with the civilians', huh? She knew what she wanted! She'd never force Mr. Yummy, or anyone else, but in her experience it usually wasn't hard to convince a heterosexual man to want the same things she wanted. A woman had needs, you know? Almost a year and she'd had her ashes hauled exactly once. Granted, it had been by Jiraiya who was holyohmygods good at it. It had taken twenty minutes for her toes to uncurl. And, now that she thought about it, it was really more like seven or eight times. (Apparently advanced ninjutsu expertise could really increase a guy's stamina, rowr!)

Anyway, back on the actual subject...the civilians might leave today, if their destination was close enough. If it wasn't, they'd probably leave in the morning. Joutarou could travel at ninja speeds so his travel circle was a lot bigger. He'd said he had another mission to do, so if he wasn't going to stick with the group he'd almost certainly leave today.

She glanced across the veranda to her opposite number. Whoever he was, he was good. Well-trained, definitely belonging to some intelligence service. She wasn't even sure if he was a ninja or not; if he was using a henge she couldn't spot it, and he moved like the mid-forties civilian he appeared to be. When the team first arrived it had taken her a full four hours to notice him; she'd only twigged because she caught him following Joutarou's movements a little too closely.

None of the kids had noticed him as more than another guest, despite Hazou walking within arm's length of him on at least two occasions. She was pretty sure Joutarou hadn't noticed him either. She'd be interested to see how Mr. Spy Guy reacted to Joutarou's contact arriving.

She wondered again if she should point him out to the kids. At this point, probably. She'd been waiting to see if they would notice him, but it was time to give them the information so they could factor it into the plans.

'So they could factor it into the plans.' Wasn't that just all kinds of adorable? Thirteen-year-olds, doing the planning for what was essentially a small strike group? Doing it pretty well, too. She'd never tell them, of course, but she was actually impressed. Hazou was coming along nicely as a future leader; he had Noburi's ego issues mostly sorted out and had slotted the other boy into a beta role almost without Noburi realizing it. Noburi, in turn, was steadying down. He'd lost most—well, some—of his insecurity and was in the process of turning into a strong young man. Keiko was...improving. Long way left to go, though.

Even Kagome was getting better. His flashbacks were much less frequent and seemed to be less intense. He was starting to sleep more than three or four hours at a stretch, and it had been almost a week since the last time he came up swinging when she woke him up. It was going to be a long time before she let any of the kids wake him, though.

She sighed. Dealing with Kagome was exhausting. Enough flirting and playfulness to keep him focused on positive things and engaged with the group, not so much that he actually developed a crush. Carefully measured voice modulation and display of gestural emblems signifying authority so that he followed the lead of the tiny little redhead instead of going off half-cocked. Constantly watching him for microexpressions of fear and, whenever she saw them, staying between him and the kids in case one of them accidentally triggered him. All without letting any of them notice what she was doing. It was just lucky that he had more tells than roomful of first-time poker players; if he'd had any sort of ability to hide his feelings it would have been ten times worse.

She shook off the negativity and forced herself to breathe. Puppies and fuzzy little kittens! Rainbows, chocolate cake, and Auntie Machiko's apple cobbler!

She settled back into the lounger, taking an extra-deep breath and wriggling just a little so that she could watch the eyes pop out of the head of the middle-aged guy two recliners over, who was desperately trying not to look and clearly hoping that his wife wouldn't notice that he had. She'd read a bit longer while waiting to see what Mr. Spy Guy did. If he didn't react before she finished her current chapter she'd go find the others and signal them to pull in for a briefing. She had a feeling the next couple of days were going to be exciting.

---

XP AWARD: 1

XP BONUS: +1 because I'm feeling nice after my earlier pseudo-update.
XP BONUS: +1 in thanks to @faflec for the suggestion that inspired this chapter when I was frankly stuck for ideas.
XP BONUS: +2 for @OliWhail's omake that left me all verklempt, damnit.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 10, 2016, at 12pm London time.

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 63: Making it Happen
by @Velorien​

"Here," Mari passed the girl a couple of coins, "why don't you hand me that tray, and then go see if Honami won't give you a couple of hours off? At full pay, of course. She'll understand."

After checking for observers, Mari smoothly took on the waitress's appearance. Honami's cooperation was opening countless doors for the team, in some cases literally. Hazō's call to work with her had paid off a hundredfold. The kid had the makings of an excellent infiltrator, Mari decided, just as soon as he got better at lying. And disguises. And observation. And persuasion.

And seduction. Mari counted herself very lucky that he was still a few years away from having to be taught seduction in earnest. After all, she was the only available teacher, and wouldn't that do interesting things to the team dynamic. It wasn't a problem ninja normally had – when she herself had been learning from Usami-sensei and Shiratori-sensei, she'd already had years of desensitising Mist conditioning, and immersion in an environment in which seduction training was considered as standard and impersonal as taijutsu training. Whereas teaching the arts to somebody who was more like your infinitely-teasable little brother…

Then again, the odds of Hazō actually asking her for seduction training were roughly the same as the odds of Kagome asking her to marry him. Come to think of it, Mari reflected, the master and the apprentice had a lot of things in common.

Keiko, on the other hand… Mari's blood ran cold at just the thought of thinking about that idea and all of its implications. Clearly, it was time to focus on the mission.

The tray held a single cup of tea. The temperature had to be gauged carefully – while Mari was happy to reuse the old classic Honami had used on Hazō, actually popping Mr Spy's disguise would attract all sorts of unwelcome attention. On the other hand, a waitress carrying cold tea would just make him suspicious.

As luck would have it, Mr Spy was facing her as she entered the veranda. He glanced up at her with a blank expression as she came into his field of view, then immediately returned to his book, a manual on the theory of civil administration that made Mari's eyes glaze over just to look at.

The man must have had some serious financial support to be able to use something like that as a mere prop. Unlike Jiraiya's books, such a specialised volume would have a very limited print run, which tended to mean a staggering price. After all, the beauty of a monopoly was that if you wanted to, you could make the customer bleed, and they'd still keep on coming back.

Mari's analysis ended the second she was in range. As she began to move past Mr Spy, she tripped over, squealing and sending a cup of lukewarm, very dark tea flying in a carefully calculated arc over the book and onto the man's chest. He reflexively tried to get out of the way, but at civilian speed he might as well have been trying to evade a thunderbolt. The tea went everywhere (though he did manage to save the book) and a large brown spot began to spread over his kimono. The surrounding customers and staff alike stared at him, some with amusement and others with sympathy.​

?d100 = 1105

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 1160

Click to shrink...

Mr Spy's eyes snapped up to look at her. His voice was rich, cultured, a stark contrast to his unprepossessing appearance. It was also filled with excoriating contempt.

"Wonderful," he told her. "Now I'm the centre of everybody's attention. Honestly, I was expecting better of you given your work so far. You can be sure of a pay cut once your employer hears of this.​

"Well?" he added. "Why are you just standing there? Don't you have a job to do?"

Mari couldn't help but catch the subtle emphasis on that one word, combined with the way he met her eyes as he said it. Oh, shit.

Their employer was running more than one game here, and apparently whatever Mr Spy was up to, it was important enough for him to be aware of their presence but not vice versa. This was why Mari, along with every non-Command ninja ever, hated the concept of a need-to-know basis.

As she retreated in a hurry, Mari heard Mr Spy hail another waitress.

"You there, girl. Have one of the men bring me another kimono from my suite. The beige one will do. I'll be in the baths."

-o-​

"Which is why our client is an information-withholding sack of slimedrizzler balls. Now, let's move on. Forget our man of mystery, we need to move fast if we want to get Jōtarō and Mr Yu– the secondary target. They could leave as early as tomorrow morning."

Hazō nodded. "Are we still going with the original plan, Inoue-sensei?"

"That's right. Jōtarō's booking expires tomorrow morning, which means the bedroom window of opportunity will only be open tonight. As long as we're quick and careful, we won't be leaving time for the spy to make any moves."

-o-
​

Akane slowly walked up to the window. This was it. Finally her time to shine, to show Hazō-sensei that not only was she maturing as a fighter under his tutelage, but that she was an adult in her own right – or would be soon enough – with her own specialisation every bit as valuable as his sealing skills or Keiko's summoning. With all eyes on her, it was time for the practice to pay off.

As challenges for a ninja went, opening the window was a piece of cake, given the simple deadbolt and her experience with the neighbouring room earlier. A little sliver of metal, some youthful controlled breathing to make her hands perfectly still…

12d100 = 628

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 201

Click to shrink...

And right behind the open window was a series of almost invisible tripwires attached to the frame, each doubtless connected to a bell or two.

12d100 = 673

Click to shrink...

11d100 = 613

Click to shrink...

Snip!

Akane was on fire tonight. It helped that the ninja who'd set these up was an amateur – putting all those wires so close together might have felt like it was making the trap harder to bypass, but in reality it only made it easier to spot, after which point there was no amount of cunning that could save this kind of trap from rapid disassembly.

She carefully wrapped each bell in a piece of cloth, then lowered them to the grass. The bells were well-made, and she could already see the clever new traps she could come up with using the extra materials. Yes, Hazō-sensei would be impressed.

Akane softly moved the curtains apart. She could only see the outlines of two bodies on the floor, which suggested that the other man was in Jōtarō's room after all. For a second, her mind flashed back to Inoue-sensei's waggling of eyebrows when she covered this possibility during the planning meeting. There'd be no living with her after this.

Akane stepped back, allowing Inoue-sensei through. The window would only admit one person at a time, and Inoue-sensei was the best point woman, with her sharp senses and quick genjutsu.

?d100 = 1159

Click to shrink...

Inoue-sensei froze as she came halfway through the window, her foot dangling in mid-air. Beneath her, the enemy ninja lay on the floor outside the window's line of sight, his hands already reaching up to grab her.

?d100 = 828

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 859

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 1030

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 931

Click to shrink...

With desperate speed, the ninja lunged for her mid-air foot, trying to throw her off-balance for an immediate finishing blow. As his body rose, his hands began to close around her ankle…

But Inoue-sensei was faster. Even as she was stepping down, she had her hands going through a quick series of seals. The ninja's hands slipped down.

?d100 = 738

Click to shrink...

The rest of the team were quick to follow Inoue-sensei in, each casting a worried glance at the open door of the room. The smallest noise might be enough to carry to Jōtaro's room, and if he was awake, they could get in a lot of trouble very quickly. At a nod from Hazō, Keiko very quietly closed it.

Akane and Hazō-sensei quickly immobilised the ninja. When they'd been assigning roles, Hazō-sensei had volunteered himself for this part, prompting a snide comment from Keiko on his inexplicable fondness for tying people up. Her master had gone straight into defensive stammering mode, while Inoue-sensei grinned and Noburi looked uncomfortable. Akane herself still thought the whole thing was funny.

With the target at his mercy, Noburi began to drain him of chakra. This naturally disrupted the genjutsu, leaving the man to bolt awake to find himself, in the words of Inoue-sensei's plan, "roughly bound, gagged and being molested by Noburi's slimy tentacle". (This had not made Noburi any less uncomfortable.)

But after some struggling and very muffled pleas for help, the ninja finally sagged to the floor. Noburi knocked out the civilians, and at his signal, the team split up to search the room. The pace was glacially slow, with every movement having to avoid treading on a caltrop in the dark, or touching one of the pieces of crumpled up paper dotted everywhere, or otherwise making even the tiniest noise.

1d5 = 1

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 915

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 796

Click to shrink...

"Oh, shit," Inoue-sensei hissed several thousand years later.

Everyone immediately turned to look at her. She pointed down at the boy. In the faint moonlight, they could just about see the pattern of ink on his back. The spidery symbols could not be mistaken for anything other than a cypher. This… was going to be a lot harder to handle than a scroll.​

​

As the team stared in silence at the writing, each trying to think how to proceed, the sound of footsteps came from the next room.

"Yami?" Jōtarō's booming voice demanded. "Why'd you close the door?"​

-o-
​

You have received 17 XP.

What do you do now?

Voting ends on Saturday, August 13, 2016, at 12pm Pacific Standard Time.

NB: A reminder that you cannot control others' actions – any suggestions must be communicated to them, potentially in Jōtarō's full hearing.​

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 64: Mistakes​

"Yami?" Joutarou's booming voice demanded. "Why'd you close the door?"

For half an eternity, Hazou and every other member of the team froze. His brain stuttered with panic for a long second before he forced it back into gear. Distract, evade, fight...yes!

"Sensei, make sexy noises!" Hazou whispered. "Keiko, PMYF out the window! Noburi—"

"We're ninja, but we're not looking for a fight," Inoue-sensei called, pitching her voice to carry and filling it with calm as she moved to stand in the middle of the room, slightly offset from the door. She slid her feet slowly and carefully as she went so as not to step on the caltrops that were strewn thickly around. In the frozen silence they made faint scritch and tink noises as she pushed them aside.

Once she was on her mark, Inoue-sensei took a combat stance and then glanced at Akane, hands dancing in exaggerated battlesign that was just barely visible in the trace of moonlight that came through the small window: get light. "Your people are safe and unhurt," she said aloud, keeping her voice calm and confident. "We have no intention of hurting them as long as things stay calm."

Spoiler: Dice

Inoue-sensei, Diplomacy; convince Joutarou not to kick things off right now:
?d100 - ?d100 (circumstance penalty: two seconds from deathmatch) => 1055

Joutarou, Diplomacy:
?d100: 758

"If I hear anyone moving or any techniques, I'll kill you," Joutarou said through the door.

Inoue-sensei laughed softly. "Don't you think that would put a damper on what could be a promising relationship?" she asked, a trace of throaty purr slipping into her voice. "One of my team is getting a light but otherwise we're not doing anything."

Spoiler: Dice

Joutarou, Stealth:
?d100 + ?d100 (circumstance bonus: thick door between himself and team) => 656

Inoue, Awareness:
?d100: 869

Hazou, Awareness:
12d100: 804

Keiko, Awareness:
12d100: 753

Noburi, Awareness:
9d100: 399

Akane, Awareness:
9d100: 474

From Joutarou's room came the sound of a door whispering open. Hazou saw Inoue-sensei notice it; she paused, then grimaced and shook her head slightly.

"So, what happens next?" she asked. "This room's pretty small; if we go at it the people that you're supposed to be guarding are going to end up dead." She waited a moment, listening; when no response was forthcoming she continued. "You are guarding them, right? You seem like a great fighter, but I don't get a 'spy' vibe off you."

Light blossomed as Akane unsealed a lit oil lamp. Hazou blinked in the sudden light, raising a hand to shade his eyes while they adjusted. Akane set the lamp on the ground by the wall; it dimmed the light and meant there were shadows everywhere, but it also put the flame out of the way and left her hands free.

The moment there was light to see, Inoue-sensei pointed at Noburi and then at the window with a not kidding expression. Noburi hesitated, looking displeased at the idea of abandoning his team. A raised eyebrow from Inoue-sensei got him moving and he cat-footed across the floor, stepping carefully around the caltrops now that he had light to see them.

"I'm opening the door slightly so I can hear better," Joutarou said. "Stay calm."

Inoue-sensei held up a hand and Noburi froze.

Moving with the speed of a man stepping up to the gallows, the door creaked open a handspan.

Inoue-sensei made a moue of irritation but didn't say anything. Her head turned a fraction of an inch so she could flick her eyes around the room, gauging the exact positions of the civilians and the team.

"If you need the door open, I need a little more security," she said. "Whiskers, cover the boy. Don't hurt him unless there's a problem. Fish, join him."

Hazou rolled his eyes at the callsign—it sounded silly and only got worse when you knew that it owed its origin to the hated 'Mr. Mew' nickname. Still, he said nothing as he and Noburi quickly moved to the window where the boy and his mother lay unconscious. He peeled the boy's shirt back and began gliding his finger over the characters of the tattooed cypher. Noburi walked up the wall to where he could get both feet out the window without making noise.

"Nobody leaves," Joutarou said. "Close the window and latch it."

Hazou glanced up just in time to see a mirror being withdrawn back to Joutarou's side of the door. Noburi looked at Inoue-sensei; at her nod he climbed back in and pulled the shutter closed, clicking the latch into place.

"Five on one," Inoue-sensei said, her voice relaxed even though her expression said she really wanted to growl the words. "We aren't being paid to kill and we'd rather not cause an international incident. Let's just walk away, okay?"

"If you thought you could take me, you would have," Joutarou said. "Personally, I'm betting I can carve two of you before the rest can react, then work my through the others. You might get some hits in, but you'll still be dead."

Inoue-sensei snorted. "Pull the other one. The DMZ is the only thing keeping us from ripping your head off and spitting in your neck."

"You think so?" Joutarou said. "Tell me, how are you going to rip my head off after I fill that room with fire?"

"You'd kill the civilians too," Inoue-sensei said. "You'd fail your mission."

"Looks like I'm pretty close to failing my mission right now," Joutarou said. "My orders are to ensure that those two don't fall into enemy hands first, get them to safety second."

Inoue-sensei sighed. "You know, I really hate that about our lives," she said sadly. "Doesn't it bother you sometimes? I mean, the boy is...what, thirteen? Fourteen? He's not a fighter, he didn't choose this life. We should protect children, not kill them in the interest of politics."

There was a pause. "What are you talking about?" Joutarou asked, confused. "He's a nobody. A civilian."

"He's still a kid," Inoue-sensei said. "Do you have kids? Or nephews, nieces, younger cousins, that kind of thing?"

The pause was longer this time. "Yeah," he said. "My sister's boy. Turned eight a month before I went on this mission."

"Imagine that this boy was your nephew," Inoue-sensei said. "And some other group of ninja was standing over him with blades in hand. Is that the kind of world you want to live in?" She hurried to add, "We don't have orders to kill him and we don't want to. The only way he ends up hurt is if you start a fight."

Hazou glanced up for an instant to check if anyone was signaling him. Noburi was standing over him, hands twitching with the suppressed desire to summon his Water Whip, but he clearly didn't dare to call the technique for fear Joutarou would hear. He caught Hazou's gaze for an instant and took a deep breath before nodding in reassurance.

Akane was standing to the left of the bed, watching the door as intently as a cat at a mousehole. Keiko was opposite her, the drawers of the dresser half-open after her hurried search. Her eyes were shifting around intently as she used the Zephyr's Reach to move caltrops one at a time from their positions on the floor up onto the bed where they would be out of the way. Inoue-sensei worked alongside her, and between the two of them the floor was being cleared up with impressive speed.

His teacher caught him looking, scowled, and pointed with her chin to say get back to it! Hazou nodded and returned to tracing cypher characters.

"I'm still waiting for a reason I shouldn't kill you all," Joutarou said.

"Like I said, we don't have to fight," Inoue-sensei said. "I'm thinking there's a way for all of us to win."

"Oh?" Joutarou said. "Do tell."

"Your mission is the kid and his mom, right? We're here for the spy. You take yours, we take ours, we're good to go."

"I've got a counteroffer," Joutarou said. "You surrender now and I don't kill you."

"That isn't quite the deal I was looking for," said Inoue-sensei. She glanced over at Hazou to see how far along he was. She grimaced when she saw he was only a third of the way down the boy's back, then took a deep breath and looked back to the door.

"You realize that this is a no-win for you, right?" she said. "You come in here and start something, you're not walking away. A couple of explosive tags and everyone in here dies for sure. If we win, you're dead and your mission fails. If it looks like we're going to lose, we'll take you with us. And I know you sent your clone for backup, but the genin here aren't going to make a—"

There was the sound of running footsteps as someone entered Joutarou's room at ninja speed.

"What's going on here?!" said the female jounin who, based on the speed she'd entered with, had clearly been malingering when she said her leg was injured.

Mari swore. "Collie, exit! Tsunami!"

Tsunami was one of the simpler battle plans the team had evolved. It meant hit hard, once, and then run—just like a real tidal wave. In a group that included Kagome, 'hit hard' meant 'blow everything sky high.'

Spoiler: Dice [spoiler for the action]

Okay, let's get this party started. Can Akane kill the enemy with her explosive alpha strike?
Akane, Taijutsu-delivered explosion (blow up the enemy jounin with a shaped charge):
15d100 - ?d100 (must use narrow-focus blast so as not to hit team, but doesn't know exactly where the enemy are): 576

Joutarou, TacMov (dodge having the door blown into his face after hearing what is clearly an attack order):
?d100: 1029

Komori, the not-realy-injured jounin from Iwa, TacMov (dodge having the door etc):
?d100: 1134

Nope, Akane didn't one-shot them.

Joutarou, TacMov (get into the room and attack before anyone can react);
?d100: 1373

Mari, Special Hell Genjutsu (+10 points; one-time boost from in-thread events. NB: Preempts Joutarou's TacMov because this is exactly what Mari was prepared for)
?d100: 1237

Joutarou, Awareness (don't be sent to the Special Hell reserved for child molesters, people who talk at the theatre, and those who annoy Mari):
?d100: 932 FAIL!

Ooooh, snap! Mari just took Joutarou out of the fight! Hey, Komori, guess what? No multi-combatant bonuses for you! (Granted, the team loses Mari's MC bonus and Mari is stuck standing there like a lemon, giving all team members malus as they try to protect her.) On the one hand I'm happy because it means this might not be a TPK. On the other, I just spent ten minutes sorting out what everyone's totals would be after MC, Roki, and chakra boost before realizing that this should be Mari's move, and now that time is wasted. Oh well. From here on, all chakra boost, Roki, and MC bonuses are figured in whenever they apply.

Komori, TacMov (get into the room and kill Mari before anyone can react);
?d100: 1011

Hazou, TacMov (stop Komori from killing a defenseless Mari):
15d100: 695 FAIL!

Noburi, TacMov (stop Komori from killing a defenseless Mari):
15d100: 625 FAIL!

Akane, TacMov (stop Komori from killing a defenseless Mari):
15d100: 994 FAIL!

Keiko, Weapons (interrupt Komori's charge at Mari by throwing a large piece of furniture through her path; preempts Komori's TM by virtue of prepared action. She gets +2d100 for using "Mori Clan Technique: Frankly, A Terrible Idea" to fix Mari's self-sacrifice plan):
18d100 + 2d100: 1055 Win! Those +2 from the Mori bloodline save the day! Mari doesn't get killed before the team can get to her!

Hazou, Deception [Roki]:
12d100: 643

Komori, Deception [vs Roki]:
?d100: 520 Fail!

Komori, Taijutsu:
?d100: 1591

Akane, Taijutsu:
23d100 (pangolin jutsu dropped): 1370 Fail!
0.5 * 6d100 (Youthful Fist of the Mythological Beast That is Really Strong and Tough damage resistance): rolled 224 => 112 removed from Komori's roll before damage assessed. Result: minor wound (-1 die on all physical skills). Pangolin jutsu was deactivated to provide extra speed, so the wound is not averted.

Noburi, Water Whip:
22d100: 1188 Lose! Minor wound sustained.

Keiko, Weapons:
26d100: 1352 Lose! Not in range; no damage.

Hazou, Taijutsu (with Roki):
29d100: 1440 Lose! Minor wound sustained.

Difficulty challenge (less flying, more plummeting):
?d100: 546

Hazou, TacMov (less flying, more plummeting):
15d100 - ?d100 (helping Mari): 490 Fail. Mari A-level injured (-1 die), Hazou B-level injured (-3 dice) due to prior injury

Keiko, TacMov (less flying, more plummeting):
15d100: 865

Noburi, TacMov (less flying, more plummeting):
15d100: 670

Akane, TacMov (less flying, more plummeting):
15d100: 792

Komori, TacMov (less flying, more plummeting, but plummeting with style):
?d100 - ?d100 [surprise]: 1094

Across the room, Keiko ignored her assigned role—hurling explosive-tagged kunai—and instead pivoted to the left, reaching for the dresser.

Akane's hands came up, left palm towards the window and right towards the door. Hazou's eyes widened; he threw himself down and covered his ears as Akane's shaped charges went off in a double thunderclap, blasting a hole a meter wide through the wall above him and to his right. Noburi leaped back into the corner to avoid having his arm taken off as Akane created an escape route for the team.

Before Hazou or Noburi could use that escape route, Joutarou came through the half-demolished wall of the sitting room. His sword whirled around him in a gleaming steel net and he moved so fast that his form blurred.

"Genjutsu: Special Hell," Inoue-sensei whispered, her fingers flicking towards Joutarou like an adder striking. The massive jounin collapsed to his knees, clutching his head and screaming in horror, unable to look away from the tiny redhead's gaze. His sword went flying across the room and under the bed.

Komori, the not-actually-injured blonde jounin from Iwagakure, burst into the room and charged at Inoue-sensei with an Earth Country battlecry on her lips. Hazou saw what was about to happen, but he couldn't make his traitorous body move fast enough to throw himself between his teacher and the enemy jounin.

Inoue-sensei didn't look away from Joutarou, but she obviously saw Komori coming. The redhead smiled and a long-hidden burden seemed to fall from her shoulders. She took a calm breath and didn't move as Komori's fist blasted forward at her head—

Komori leaped back as a hundred-kilo wooden dresser went flying through where she'd just been, hurled by a tiny girl with strength powered by chakra, love, and terror. The Iwa jounin landed off-balance and stumbled, giving the team just enough time to dive forward and throw themselves between their teacher and her almost-killer.

Hazou came in fast, overamped muscles screaming as he pushed them to their limits and beyond with every scrap of chakra he could manage. Komori was a taijutsu specialist; he needed to end this fast while she was off balance or they were all dead. Noburi's Water Whip cracked over his shoulder in a combination they'd practiced a thousand times; Komori would have to twist to the side to avoid it and that would put her exactly in position for Hazou's smashing front kick to the hip, which would actually be a feint covering a punch to the throat—

Komori grabbed the Whip and yanked, hard.

Noburi flew forward and smashed into Hazou's back. The impact flung Hazou forward into a straight punch from Komori that would have gone in through his sternum and out through his spine if he hadn't managed to deflect it. It still got a piece of his shoulder and sent him spinning to the floor, agony shrieking through the dislocated joint. He landed hard on Noburi; both of them grunted at the impact, but neither one paused before rolling away in opposite directions. No matter how much it hurt, you didn't stop moving in a ninja fight unless you were tired of living.

Komori absently kicked Noburi's ribs in and launched herself at Hazou to finish him while his arm was disabled. A storm of kunai came in from her right, forcing her to pause long enough to slap the weapons away before finishing her attack. Hazou hurled himself back, desperately throwing out defensive strikes to hold the stronger woman off as he backpedaled.

"By the power of YOUTH!"

Akane came in from Komori's eight o'clock with a legsweep that Komori cartwheeled over, kicking the world's most wonderful apprentice in the head as she went by. Akane tanked the kick with nothing more than a grunt and fired back with an elbow smash that would have broken Komori's neck if she hadn't leaped aside.

The delay had given Hazou just enough time to pop his shoulder back into place. He flexed his fingers to be sure—yes, it felt like someone had stabbed a sword through it, but the limb was functional again.

His eyes flicked around, desperately looking for options. He and his team were good, but Komori was better. They'd been fighting for only a few seconds and she'd already disabled Noburi and injured both Hazou and Akane. Even worse, she'd done it with contemptuous ease. Hazou didn't stand a chance against her at anything less than maximum boost, and he'd burned almost half his reserves on that one pass. He had enough for only one more try, so it would need to count.

Escape through the hole in the outside wall? No. Komori was between Keiko and the exit. Besides, Komori could outrun them.

Escape through the door into the sitting room, then into the hallway? No. Too far, Komori was still blocking Keiko's way, and Noburi wouldn't be able to move fast enough with the broken ribs.

Fight? No. They'd lose. Maybe if Inoue-sensei were fighting with them, but she was busy holding...Joutarou...wait.

"Spearfisher, target the big one!" Hazou shouted, pointing to Joutarou. Keiko didn't ask questions, she just fired a brace of kunai at Joutarou's defenseless head.

As Hazou had hoped, Komori sprang back to Joutarou's side, intercepting the weapons and swatting them away before they could reach their target. It put her exactly where he needed her.

Sorry, Honami, Hazou thought. He ran through a series of handseals and emptied his chakra coils into the most powerful Multiple Earth Wall jutsu he could manage. The instant it was complete he grabbed Inoue-sensei and flung them both backwards towards the bed.

The granite wall surged up out of the floor at Hazou's feet, rising at an angle that took the kneeling and immobile Joutarou in the chest and rammed him up into Komori. She danced back in surprise, easily avoiding the attack but failing to stop the wall from slamming Joutarou into and through the ceiling.

When used on a wooden floor, the Multiple Earth Wall creates a chakra construct that is, temporarily, identical to normal granite. Granite, as it happens, is heavy. Really heavy. Hazou had created a lot of it, and the fight was happening on the second floor of the inn.

The floor collapsed under them and all seven ninja—well, six and a red smear—plummeted to the ground below. Inoue-sensei was still coming out of her genjutsu trance and wasn't moving on her own; her dead weight pulled Hazou off balance and kept him from landing smoothly. Something in his ankle shrieked as he hit; he let go of Inoue-sensei so that he could roll to absorb the impact. She hit the ground hard, her head bouncing off a broken piece of oak flooring. Blood splashed everywhere, but it was just a cut. She pushed herself to her feet, yanked Hazou upright, and looked around to assess the situation.

Hazou had created the wall in a line that split the room in half, trapping Komori on one side and the team on the other. In the process of falling the wall had ripped through the front of the building, leaving a wide-open route of escape.

"Go, go, go!" Inoue yelled, pulling Noburi up into a fireman's carry and waving the others towards the exit. The stout genin screamed as her shoulder dug into his broken ribs but she ignored it. Hazou, Keiko, and Akane fled past her, racing for the edge of the resort and the carefully-prepared slips that awaited them. Inoue-sensei was almost stepping on their heels as they went, urging them to greater speed.

o-o-o-o​

"What were you thinking, sensei?" Keiko said, her voice wobbling halfway between rage and misery. Distantly, she felt like she should probably be bothered by the audible lack of control. She really wasn't. She'd held it together through the frantic race through Kagome's traps. She'd been silent as they spent two hours doubling back and water-walking to ensure they weren't being followed. She'd said nothing when they reached the safety of camp, and cleaned their wounds, and made a fire. That entire time the terror / horror had been clawing at her throat like a wild animal trying to rip its way out. She had earned a moment of uncontrol!

Mari-sensei forced a very unconvincing laugh. "Aw, what's the problem? I knew you guys had it. I figured I'd just get the big guy out of the way and—"

"No," Keiko said. "That is not what you thought. You expected to die."

Mari-sensei-sensei looked away.

"Yeah, I did," she said finally. "I couldn't see any way to get everyone out of that. We couldn't all get out the window before Joutarou came through—despite Mr. Mew's very good suggestion about the PMYF, we didn't all have sightlines for it." She turned to Hazou with a teasing smile. "Also, 'make sexy noises'? I mean, I know you're growing up fast, but maybe that wasn't the best time to ask for a show, right? And, anyway, I really don't think of you in that way, so maybe we should find you a girl your own—"

"Sensei," Keiko said warningly.

Mari-sensei sighed. "Yeah, okay. I thought I could stall him long enough for us to slip out one by one. Then he shut that down and I had to fall back on Plan Z."

"What's Plan Z?" Noburi asked, shifting carefully as he looked for a position that didn't bother his ribs too much.

Mari-sensei laughed. "Talk fast, buy time, try not to die until you can run away," she said. "Always worked for me before, and it came through again, right?"

"We could have just blown the wall right away instead of waiting," Hazou said quietly.

Mari-sensei nodded. "I know," she said. "But it was still under control. I was confident that Joutarou wasn't going to try to take the five of us on simultaneously without knowing what we were capable of. I heard him send his clone out for reinforcements, but I thought he was going for the genin who guard this place. They wouldn't have mattered much, and it would actually have been useful to have them in a known location so we didn't run into them on the way out. Sure, the clone could probably have gone on to collect some Hot Springs ninja, but that would have taken long enough it didn't matter. I just didn't think of Komori."

"You could have died, sensei," Keiko said. "You tried to die."

Her teacher smiled softly. "Keiko," she said, "we all die. I'm not looking to meet the Reaper, but I've made my peace with it. We couldn't have handled both Joutarou and Komori together; they would have carved us all up like a festival goose. I knew that if I could catch Joutarou in my genjutsu I could hurt him badly enough that he'd be useless for a long time. Way longer than you would have needed for you lot to escape. If I hadn't taken him out we were all going down anyway, because I made a bad call. I got greedy—I thought we could get the cypher and get out without damaging anything or anyone so that we could keep the relationship with Honami intact. We could have, too, if Komori hadn't mixed in. I screwed up, and I was the only one who could fix it."

"But not by dying!" Keiko wailed. "Sensei, I can't lose you! Please, you're all that I have left! I've lost Ami, I've lost my parents, I've lost everything! There's nothing left, you're the only thing I still lo—"

Keiko slapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes going wide in horror as she realized what she'd just said.

---

XP AWARD: 17

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, August 17, 2016, at 12pm London time.

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 65: Misstep
by @Velorien​

Within the absolute, frozen silence, Hazō felt a sudden stab of pain. The only thing Keiko loved? The only thing she had left?

Was this what it meant to have feelings for someone? That you wanted them and them alone, and other people simply ceased to matter? Hazō hadn't expected Keiko to love him, not in those words, but he'd thought they were friends. He thought they'd gradually been growing closer. Had none of that meant anything to her?

Around him, the others didn't appear to be taking it any better. Noburi was reeling, biting down hard on his lip, his body tense with obvious distress. Inoue-sensei's expression was so flawlessly neutral it might have come from an anatomy practice dummy. Akane's eyes were wide with dawning realisation. And Keiko herself, hand still over her mouth, looked like she'd just botched the infusion for the world's biggest space-time manipulation seal.

Hazō was not too lost in his own pain to miss the voice of intuition whispering to him. Any second now, it told him, somebody would say something without thinking it through first, and the team would fall apart at a time when they were already on the edge of disaster.

"We need to keep moving," he said loudly. "We're still being pursued, and we should meet up with Kagome-sensei and get out of Hot Springs as fast as possible. If he's not at camp, he must be checking the tertiary trap array."

Was he the only one who'd cared about those times bonding over communication issues and hotly-debated plans? Had they been bonding, or had he been projecting his own desire for friendship onto her? Did Noburi feel the same way about him? What if he'd been wrong from the start, about what friendship was and how it worked? And Sage, what about Akane? If he was wrong about her…

"Keiko, we all care about you and respect your feelings," Akane said suddenly, "but right now we have to put everything on hold until we're safe. Now, you're the least injured, so could you drop back and guard the rear of the formation? I'll be just ahead of you carrying gear."

Best. Apprentice. Ever.

"Noburi's the most hurt," Hazō picked up on her thinking, "so I'll be in the middle with him doing the same. Inoue-sensei, could you take point?"

-o-
​

"Password," Kagome-sensei barked, eyeing them perhaps slightly more suspiciously than usual.

"Eye socket spiders," Hazō said.

Kagome-sensei grunted.

"Don't move," he said. "Something's off about you. You've been gone too long, and now you're all looking shifty, like you're trying to hide that something's wrong."

There was a second's pause.

"You thought you could fool old Kagome, did you?" Kagome-sensei shouted, reaching down for a concealed wire. "Well, I've got news for you, you stinking stinkers—"

"Kagome-sensei," Hazō cut in urgently. ""You know that seal we couldn't make work, the one with all the tentacles? Well, I had a thought about how we could weaponise it if we…"

Kagome-sensei groaned and let go of the wire. "You're Hazō all right. Also, never think that thought again.

"So what's going on?"

"We were forced into combat and had to run away. And now Hot Springs and everyone else is going to be after us for killing a jōnin in a DMZ."

"You fought a jōnin." Kagome said. "That wasn't part of the plan. You don't fight a jōnin without a plan. That's like doing sealcrafting experiments with no safety protocols. In fact it's worse, because if sealcrafting goes wrong, you might survive. In some form. What were you even—"

"Kagome-sensei," Hazō said. "Hordes of pursuing ninja? Out for blood? Possibly on their way here right now?"

"Oh, right." Kagome-sensei reluctantly broke off his building tirade.

"Anyway," Hazō said, the rest of the team still silent around him, "I was thinking we could head to Iron to hide out for a while. The hunter-nin should be long-gone by now, and with most of the missing-nin there eliminated, the area shouldn't be getting much attention from any of the major powers. Plus you know it well, Kagome-sensei, and we have contacts there."

"Right," Kagome-sensei nodded. "That could work. Do us good to get out of here and far away from the lupchanz, anyway."

"And I was thinking of stopping by the Swamp of Death on the way."

"The Swamp of Death," Kagome-sensei repeated slowly. "Is that what it sounds like?"

Hazō was quite proud of this part of the plan. "It's a swamp in the Fire Country, filled with incredibly lethal chakra monsters and killer plants. It was where we were first hiding before Leaf led a Mist strike force to destroy our camp. But Inoue-sensei got us out just in time."

Kagome gave Hazō a strangely sceptical look.

"So Leaf knows about this place, they've got people who know how to navigate it, and they know that Mist and a bunch of missing-nin know where it is."

"Well, yes, but…"

"Not your finest moment, Hazō," Inoue-sensei commented, her first words since… that. "After Hidden Swamp, Leaf will have changed its patrol routes to cover the swamp's borders. They won't want to ever have to send people in there again. Besides, don't you remember the crazy chase we had to go through the first time round, with Leaf snapping at our heels until the last second? No, the Swamp of Death isn't happening."

"All right," Hazō said, trying to salvage some credibility as the team's plan-maker. "Then why don't we cut across Fire until we reach Waterfall, and then cross from there into Iron?"

Inoue-sensei gave him a frustrated look. "You want us to spend more time in Leaf territory, and then time in Waterfall, so we can have a safer crossing into Iron? That's like walking a tightrope over an abyss because the rope bridge looks rickety. Are you trying to get us killed?"

"I'm sorry, Inoue-sensei," Hazō said sheepishly.

She sighed. "No, that wasn't fair of me. Just… stuff. Let's get moving."
​

-o-
​

9d100 = 433

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 584

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 647

Click to shrink...

"Can you hear that, Inoue-sensei?"

Inoue-sensei gritted her teeth. "You mean that noise from behind us? Yeah, they're catching up. That's what I hate about killing jōnin – it puts your threat rating so high, people spare no expense trying to chase you down. We've got a decent lead, though. With luck, we can outrun them. We really don't want to fight the kind of people they'd send after us, not in our current condition."

"Um," Hazō said. "Actually, I meant the movement coming from the south."

"Fuck."

Inoue-sensei didn't need to spell it out. Leaf had spotted them, and although they might be able to handle a weak Leaf patrol – they'd done it before, after all – if either force managed to pin them down even briefly, the other would have time to catch up, at which point they'd be caught between the hammer and the anvil.

15d100 = 511

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 693

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 550

Click to shrink...

"Inoue-sensei?"

"Not now, Hazō, I'm trying to figure out how to not die."
​

-o-
​

You have received 5 XP. (It was a good plan, but most of it hasn't happened yet; if we can get back to it, you will be rewarded appropriately.)
​

-o-
​

A rare insight into the QM thought process:

"I can't wait to write that Hugs for Everyone debrief. I've finally finished planning, and I have such great scenes in mind for X, Y and Z.

"This isn't like their previous journeys, though. They've got HS in hot pursuit, and they're having to cut across a fair bit of Hot Springs and Fire. I'd better make some quick rolls to make sure they make a clean getaway.

"Eh, should be fine. The HS pursuers are good, but they're suffering from massive maluses thanks to the team's exfiltration preparations, and Leaf's not expecting any trouble from Hot Springs or Rice, so they're not going to be at their most alert here.

"So, rolling for the team… Wait, Hazō and Noburi both have Stealth 9. Urk.

"Never mind, though, they have TacMov 15 across the board. They'll easily get away, and this will all have just been a little bit of excitement before we move on to the meat of the update."

15d100 = 511

Click to shrink...

[weeps quietly] "This isn't the update I wanted to write…"
​

-o-
​

Two hostile ninja teams are converging on you from the south and the east. What do you do?

Voting ends on Saturday, August 20th, 2016, at 12pm Pacific Standard Time.​

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 66: Run! Run like the Wind!​

"Kai! Damnit!" Hazou said, before leaping on Kagome and spinning him around. The sealmaster yelped and started to struggle in panic but Hazou smacked his shoulder.

"Calm down, I just need something!" the genin said, digging frantically through Kagome's pack for the set of scrolls that were, of course, at the very bottom. "Here's the plan," he said, not looking up. "We head over that way"—he gestured west-northwest—"moving fast and leaving a trail. Hopefully we can pull the Hot Springs and Leaf teams together. Whether they start talking or fighting, it gives us more time to escape. When they're getting close we stage our deaths, Yellow Flash to break trail, then run like hell. Noburi, dole out some water for everyone. Overcharge us, because we need to run fast, and we're probably going to be tossing around a lot of jutsu."

"Right," Noburi said, twisting his barrel around and pulling the top off so he could scoop some water into the cup that he kept strapped to the side for that purpose. He passed it to Keiko first; she gulped it down gratefully, shivered once as the extra chakra burned through her coils, then gave him a grateful nod and passed the cup back.

"Why leave traces?" Keiko asked. "If one team or the other misses us, that's good."

Hazou shook his head. "Either one of them can wipe us out," he said. "We need to lose both of them, and our best chance to do that is if they bump into each other. That'll buy us several minutes while they sort out who they are and what's going on."

He finally found the black-banded scrolls containing the dead bodies of the Leaf patrol that they'd killed all that time ago. He yanked them out of Kagome's pack, spilling several other scrolls to the ground in the process. The sealmaster bent down and started gathering them up with swift, efficient movements.

"Okay, let's roll," Hazou said, hurrying to Noburi in order to get his share of the water. The extra chakra burned through him, its foreign nature itching at his coils; it left him buzzing and nauseous as though he'd just eaten a gallon of super-strong tea leaves.

Within seconds everyone had had their share and was on the move. They took care to leave a few traces—scuff the leaves of the forest floor a bit here, leap onto a tree trunk and push off a little too hard so that a piece of bark was chipped off there.

They practically flew through the forest, burning chakra profligately in order to gain a few extra seconds on their pursuers. Two miles later Hazou gestured for them to pull up in a shallow dell.

Spoiler: Dice

Do you have time to do everything you need to before the enemy arrives? You need at least a B-class success over their best roll.
Hot Springs squad, TacMov:
?d100: 520

Leaf squad, TacMov:
?d100: 473

Shining champions of light, slowest member:
15d100: 720

Just barely, but yes.

"Keiko, summon Pandaa," Hazou said, unrolling the black-banded scrolls and unsealing the flaccid bodies of the Leaf patrol that they'd killed so long ago. He piled them in an untidy heap and stacked explosive seals on top.

"He can't hope to defeat what's coming," Keiko said, but she hurried through the handseals regardless. A second later there was a poof! of smoke and the young pangolin stood before them.

"Ooh!" Pandaa said. "Hi, Keiko! Boy, that just never gets old. Dimensional travel is so neat!"

"Quiet," Hazou said. "Pandaa, we've got two groups of ninja descending on us. Can you activate an explosive tag?"

Pandaa drummed his claws on his underbelly. "Um...I'm not sure? I've never tried. I mean, I'm a cultural liaision. I hadn't even been to the Human Path until—"

"Okay, never mind," Hazou said quickly. "Kagome-sensei, I need a tripwire seal from here to there." He gestured to a spot near a patch of brush a few meters away. "Pandaa, I want you to dig yourself a hole over there and wait in it. When you see the enemy ninja approach, you reach out and swing your hand through the tripwire, okay? Then unsummon yourself. Can you do that?"

Pandaa drew himself up to his full height and braced to attention. "Yes, sir!" he snapped, interlacing his claws. "I've got your back! I'll cover you against the enemy, yes indeed! I'll—"

"What are you doing, sensei?" Akane asked suspiciously.

"We're going to stage our deaths," Hazou said. "One of the pursuing teams gets here, Pandaa sets off the explosives, the bodies get blown up. The enemy team pauses, shocked. The other team shows up a few seconds later, drawn by the noise. To them it looks like the first team just took us out. The two groups should be jumpy and they should wrangle a bit, giving us time to get away."

"I'm ready!" Pandaa called, waving one clawed paw. He was standing in a meter-deep trench, a spray of dirt behind him. "This is exciting!"

"Sensei, we can't destroy the bodies!" Akane said. "We were going to give those back to Jiraiya so they could be returned to their families. Destroying them would be un—" She cut herself off, glancing at Keiko. "Would be unwise."

"Girl's got a point," Inoue said. "The bodies would add verismilitude to the blast, but Jiraiya is going to be pissed at us for the mess we made in Hot Springs. Returning the bodies might buy us some goodwill." She seemed dubious about the statement even as she made it.

"Wouldn't matter anyway," Kagome grunted, kneeling down to set up the tripwire. "Tripwire seal only sets off one tag at each end. That's not enough to hide the fact that this is four bodies, not six."

"Hang on, I got this," Noburi said, scrambling in his pack. "Seal the bodies back up, I've got something we can use instead."

Hazou started to object, then shut his mouth. There was no time to argue, and he needed everyone onboard. With a few quick taps he had the bodies in their storage scrolls again.

Noburi knelt down and opened out four separate storage scrolls. Inside each one was a tarpaulin wrapped around massive slabs of bloody meat, each one nearly the size of his torso.

"What in the hell is that?" Hazou asked in amazement.

"Leftover steaks from those wild boars we killed," Noburi said, grunting as he dragged the steaks around. "Help me lay them out. Stick 'em close together and after the bombs go off they'll look like bodies exploded by more than one tag. It'll buy us a little time while the enemy figures out how many pieces there were."

Kagome snorted from where he was finishing setting up the tripwire seals. He finished aligning the two seals, then dug into his pack. "They're really big steaks," he said. "They're not going to look like bodies. You need to burn them." He held a storage scroll out to Noburi. A storage scroll with the double red stripes that marked it as one of Kagome's 'stupid boxes.'

Everyone paused. A moment later Noburi took the scroll from him and set it on the stack of meat.

"Pandaa, remember: unsummon yourself as soon as you set off the explosives," Keiko said. "I don't want you hurt."

"Yes, ma'am!" Pandaa said, giving a little hop. "I wait until the enemy gets here, then I break the trigger and blow everything up, then I unsummon! I am so on this!" He hopped from foot to foot. "This is going to be so exciting! My parents are never going to believe it!"

"Not sure how believable those are," Inoue-sensei said doubtfully, studying the 'bodies' that Noburi and Hazou had finished arranging. "Bad guys might notice before the stupid box goes up."

"It's dark and the enemy shouldn't have more than a moment to look," Hazou said. "Okay, everyone, time to Yellow Flash. Remember, wait until the target hits the ground. And don't throw too far or it'll be out of r—"

"Hazou, chill," Noburi said with a snort. "We practiced this enough."

"Right, sorry," Hazou said. "Let's go."

While Hazou had been worrying, Akane had pulled out a small flask of lamp oil and dipped the point of her kunai in it. The youthful genin set it ablaze with a single handseal, a snap of her fingers, and a muttered "Hotaru no Jutsu."

"I hope those stinkers don't see the light," Kagome said, obliviously voicing the thought that everyone else had been having but not saying.

"Calculated risk," Inoue-sensei said. "It lets us move farther than we would be able to otherwise and should let us break the trail. Come on, let's go."

Akane hurled her burning kunai into the darkness, slamming it into the trunk of a tree a good forty meters away—much farther than any ninja could have leaped in one jump. The tiny flames gave just enough light that she could see, and switch with, the log that dropped out of the kunai a moment later. One after another, the rest of the team hurled their own tag-equipped weapons into the tree beside Akane's marker and transported themselves.

Inoue went last. She switched in, grabbed the tree trunk, and took a moment to pull all the kunai out of the tree and beat out the dribbles of flame. By the time she was done Akane had lit another kunai and hurled it into the night. A moment later the young genin was gone, a log taking her place and falling to the forest floor ten meters below. One by one the rest of the team followed.

They'd each been carrying three PMYF seals, and they used them all; under these conditions it was much slower than running, but it left almost no traces.

There wasn't enough moonlight to allow for treehopping, so once the team used up their PMYF seals they hit the ground and started running at the fastest pace the darkness—and the need for stealth—allowed. They'd been traveling for barely a minute when the night was shattered by a massive BOOM! and the shadows got slightly lighter in the red/gold light that came from behind them. Kagome pulled up, turning to face the blaze with an expression of childlike glee on his face.

"Sensei, we need to go," Hazou said, yanking on the sealmaster's arm.

"One second," Kagome said, brushing him off without looking away. "I almost never get to use those things. I forgot how beautiful they are." He started snickering. "Burn, you stinkers! Burn!"

A faint breeze kissed Hazou's cheek, blowing back towards the firelight.

"Holy shit!" Inoue-sensei said. "Forest fire! Run!"

Spoiler: Dice

Firey burning doom flames of doom (or, at least, of the crown fire):
?d100: 867

Shining champions of light, worst TacMov (2 times)
15d100 + 4d10 (chakra boost):
31,93,8,34,58,35,23,33,41,11,28,49,40,82,87,29,90,76,59 => 907
89,7,37,65,60,85,4,18,21,47,5,43,73,94,51,33,88,84,90 => 994

They abandoned all traces of caution or stealth and ran. Feet spurned the ground, bouncing from tree trunk to tree trunk to stay clear of the roots and bad footing on the ground. It wasn't stealthy and it left traces, but no one cared.

Behind them, the fire monster ravened through the trees, flames leaping through the upper branches with what a normal human would have considered terrifying speed. The forest animals fled before it in terror; the team ignored them except as obstacles to be bypassed.

At ninja speed the team quickly outpaced the fires, but they still didn't slow down. Forest fire, Leaf ninja, Hot Springs ninja...there was absolutely nothing good that could happen as a result of slowing down.

Spoiler: Dice

Akane, Resolve (do not unyouthfully slow down your team):
2d100: 122

Akane, Intelligence (don't be an idiot; recognize that you have limits no matter how youthful you are):
2d100: 85

Everyone, even ninja, have their limits. The team finally reached theirs when Akane pitched over unconscious.

"Shitshitshit!" Hazou said, sliding to his knees next to his apprentice. "What did you do, you stupid girl?!" He grabbed her hand; it was cold and clammy, and he couldn't feel a pulse.

"Move!" Noburi said, shoving him aside. He lifted Akane's head and poured water into her mouth; it dribbled out her lips.

"Do something!" Hazou said, frantic. He could practically feel the heat draining out of Akane's dead—no, dying! not dead, just dying!—body.

Spoiler: Dice

Figuring out the right thing to do before Akane dies of chakra exhaustion:
?d100: 168

Noburi, Medical Knowledge:
3d100: 253

"This is gonna suck," Noburi muttered. He clipped Akane's jaw between the thumb and finger of his right hand so that he could tilt her head back and simultaneously pull her mouth open. Quickly, he poured in a cupful of water, sealed his lips to hers, and blew. Hard.

Akane convulsed, slamming her head into Noburi's before he could pull back. She choked and spat water like a half-drowned woman. Much of it went in his face and mouth.

Noburi sat up and wiped his face, spitting out his re-gifted chakra water. He watched Akane for a moment before giving a relieved sigh. "Okay," he said. "She'll be fine in a minute. She coughed most of it out before it could help, so I'll give her another dose when she's breathing properly. That was too damn close, though."

---

XP AWARD: 15

Vote time! What to do now? Noburi has rebalanced chakra levels among the group so that everyone is at least minimally functional, but the emphasis is on 'minimally'. At this point your average poodle could beat you.

NOTE: There is an unusually long voting period this time, since @Velorien is away this week. Voting ends on Saturday, August 26, 2016, at 9am Pacific time. The Thursday update will be a canon backstory piece written by the inimitable @OliWhail.

 

[OliWhail]

Interlude: Barrel-Boy
By @OliWhail​

"It hurts, momma!" the little boy cried, visibly fighting back tears.

"I know, Noburi, but painkillers get in the way," his mother responded, running her fingers through his hair as soothingly as she could. "We want you to get all better, okay? This is the fastest way. Once this is over you'll be able to run and play with the other kids."

The mednin performing the procedure, a second cousin of Noburi's, winced in sympathy. "It'll be over soon, little guy. You're doing great. Keep being brave for your mom. Can you do that?"

Eyes watering, Noburi hesitated, then nodded resolutely.

Another wave of green medical chakra flowed into Noburi's flabby body, gently nudging his faulty metabolism back towards a healthy balance, but causing another series of convulsions that set the toddler thrashing against his padded restraints.

-o-​

His mom was by his bedside when he woke up. "Good evening sleepyhead," she said lightly, patting his cheek affectionately.

"Wh- where's dad?" asked a still-groggy Noburi. "He promised to be here!"

"Ah... Daichi got back from a mission earlier than expected, and your father went to debrief him."

Noburi gave a small nod. His brother came first, as always, being the oldest.

"Aw, cheer up little bear," his mother said, grabbing his nose and wiggling it the same way she had done as long as he could remember. She reached over to a cloth-wrapped package. "We don't have to worry about you eating too much now, so I brought sashimi and curry for dinner!"

Her little boy's face lit up the room.

-o-​

Noburi was startled awake by two impacts on his mattress, causing him to lose control of the water in his barrel and soaking most of his body.

"Nobby-niichaaaaaan!" one of the projectiles shouted at him.

"Wake uuuuuup!" added the other.

"Kami, I'm up, ugh!" His little sisters giggled as he ripped his blanket out from under them, sending them tumbling. They flounced out of the room as he threw his bedclothes and pyjamas up on the drying racks in his room.

The smell of ham and eggs eventually pulled Noburi out into the common area of the compound, where his mother was helping to prepare breakfast for the clan. A veritable feast was getting cooked up in honor of his and his cousin's first day at the Mist Academy. His mom had to place a hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle when she saw his still-damp hair.

"Oh, I'm so sorry dear, I asked the twins to wake you up and didn't think… Anyway, here, eat up. Today is a big day." She passed him a heaping plate with a kiss on the cheek and sent him off towards the section of one of the large tables his father and siblings had staked out. Then she turned her attention to someone on the other side of the kitchen calling out "Yuina! We need you over here!"

Noburi winced inwardly at the eyebrow his father raised as he sat down.

"I don't seem to recall Daichi ever losing control of his barrel, at least not after the first month of training," the elder Wakahisa stated flatly before turning his attention back to his plate.

"Father, that's hardly fair, Aya and Saya weren't around when I was that age! That's a pretty big handicap, right Nobby?" Daichi winked at his little brother. The girls giggled.

"Shu' u'," Noburi responded eloquently, focusing all his attention on scarfing down as much food as possible.

"Be polite, son. No speaking with a full mouth," their father said automatically.

After breakfast and the subsequent cleanup (a process honed to a fine art by generations of bored water-element specialists), Noburi hurried back to his room to put on his academy uniform, and grabbed his barrel to take it out and refill it.

Diachi caught him as he ran out his door. "Hold on, squirt. You won't be needing that one anymore."

Noburi's eyes widened. In his sour mood, he'd totally forgotten this part! His brother led him out to one of the meditation ponds behind the compound. On the shore the rest of his immediate family, as well as that of his cousin Michi, were waiting beside two beautifully made Wakahisa clan barrels with the names of the new academy students stamped proudly onto them. Michi was already there, and gave Noburi a shy smile and wave as he came near her.

They were made to stand shoulder to shoulder, facing the assembly. Noburi's father stepped forward carrying the appropriately labeled barrel. "I, Wakahisa Daisuke, duly appointed representative of my clan, speaking also on behalf of my wife Wakahisa Yuina, bestow this gift to our son for his efforts in succeeding not only in the tests for entrance to the ninja academy of our village, but also the tests we as a clan place upon our members." His face softened from its normal granite-like state. "Well done, Noburi. We're all proud of you, and know you will do great things for the family name. Remember, success in the world of ninja depends as much on who you know as what you can do, especially for a family like ours."

Michi's mother said something similar about her daughter, but Noburi didn't catch any of it. He was too fixated on the barrel his father had handed him. It was, he decided, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

-o-​

"That's the stupidest looking thing I've ever seen!" one of the older girls - Noburi guessed she was around ten - said loudly as soon as the parents had all said their goodbyes, pointing at the barrel on Noburi's back.

"Your face is the stupidest looking thing I've ever-" Noburi's witty comeback was interrupted by a double strike to his diaphragm and nose, and he went down hard.

"Shut up, barrel-boy. Can't even move right with that thing on," his assailant spat dismissively. Looking up, Noburi recognized the blue eyes and, more tellingly, the unnatural grace of a Kurosawa. "And you're fat," she added as an afterthought.

"Alright, settle down," their instructor called as he came out of the nearby lecture building. The older students drifted off to their familiar routine of lessons for the day. "You, Wakahisa, get up, you're embarrassing yourself. Now, LINE UP NEWBIES. PAY ATTENTION. THIS IS THE KIRIGAKURE NINJA ACADEMY. HERE YOU WILL LEARN DISCIPLINE. HERE YOU WILL LEARN OBEDIENCE. HERE YOU WILL BE FORGED INTO HUMAN WEAPONS. HERE YOU WILL BECOME TOOLS IN THE HANDS OF THE MIZUKAGE TO STRIKE AT THE HEARTS OF ENEMIES OF OUR NATION. AM I UNDERSTOOD?!"

The outburst was met with much scrambling into several disorganized lines and scattered variations of "Yes sir!" and "Yes sensei!"

The man's eye twitched. "THAT WAS PATHETIC! DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY PUSHUPS. NOOOOOW!! YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS NAKAJIMA-SENSEI NEXT TIME OR IT'LL BE A THOUSAND!! DID I TELL YOU TO TAKE YOUR BARREL OFF, BARREL-BOY?" Noburi froze, one arm out of his harness. "ARE YOU PLANNING TO TAKE IT OFF IN COMBAT CONDITIONS?!" A minute, terrified shake of the head. "THEN LEAVE IT ON! AN EXTRA TWENTY PUSHUPS FOR DISOBEYING ORDERS!" A vein in the man's neck was throbbing by the time he'd finished.

...​

It was an exhausted and disheartened Noburi who wandered over to his mother and sisters at the entrance to the academy grounds that evening.

"My goodness Nobby-niichan, what happened to your face?" asked Ayaka, pointing melodramatically with one hand while making a show of pretending to faint with the other

"Some dumb idiot prob'ly hit him, you dumb idiot!" responded Saya.

"Language, Saya," their mother chastised. "...what did happen, little bear?" she inquired, leaning in to inspect the bruise theKurosawa girl had given him that morning.

"...taijutsu practice," he said eventually, pleading with his eyes for her not to dig any deeper.

Her lips tightened. "Hmmm. They're starting that awfully early this year." But, thankfully, she let the subject drop and led them back off toward the clan compound.

...​

"So Noburi, make any friends at school today?"

"No, father," Noburi answered with poorly concealed bitterness.

Daisuke looked up briefly from the mission report he was writing. "I'm disappointed to hear that."

That simple statement was the last straw piled onto a horrible day. Barely containing himself, Noburi turned on his heel, marched to his room, and collapsed sobbing on his bare mattress. His sheets and blankets had finished drying, but he couldn't find the motivation to put them back in their place.

-o-​

A week later, resolved to start making friends like his father wanted, Noburi approached the gaggle of clan kids in his year. He selected one at random - well, not entirely, his distinctive Hoshigaki blue skin made him stand out pretty starkly, and he wasn't talking to anyone else at the moment. What was his name now? Tonami? No, it was…

"G'morning Tonume!"

"Eh? What do you want, barrel-boy?

"Haha, good one. Man, it's been a crazy first week, huh?"

"I… I guess? Not as bad as clan training."

"Definitely. But a lot more yelling."

"Heh, you Wakahisa must be pretty soft if you thought that was a lotta yellin'."

Noburi kept from grinding his teeth. Barely. "Next to you guys? Sure. We're the support specialists, you guys have to be tough."

Tunume's watery eyes had begun to show some interest now. "...what's that actually mean, support specialists?"

"Oh, you know, we give our squadmates extra chakra and stuff," Noburi answered casually.

"Woah, really? Lemme see!" The other boy's outburst started to draw the attention of the other students who had arrived early.

Noburi carefully filled his canteen partway and handed it to his classmate, who looked confused but chugged it gamely.

"Urk. Huh, that feels weird… woah, that feels great! Hey guys, watch this!" A couple brief handsigns later Tonume was spitting a high-pressure water jet that carved a rut in the dirt of the training yard.

"Ooh, ooh, me next!" an older girl with the claw of the Kani clan crest on her lapel butted in.

"You already show your summons off all the time, Yumiko, let other people have a go," someone called from the back of the crowd. The crowd! Noburi felt his chest swell at the thought.

That feeling rapidly diminished, along with his stock of chakra. "I'm sorry guys, I need to have some left over for lessons today!" They all started grumbling and turned away towards their original cliques. Even Tonume seemed to have lost interest. "I'll have more tomorrow though!" Noburi called out. Nobody paid him any mind. Honestly, it had sounded pathetic even to himself.

-o-​

"Well done, Noburi! I'm quite pleased to tell you that this is much better craftsmanship than we usually see in a first attempt. Are you sure you weren't practicing behind my back?" the old craftsmaster asked with a mischievous grin.

Grandpa Noburu's words filled his descendant and namesake with pride. Noburi had been uncharacteristically attentive in learning the clan techniques for producing their chakra-preserving barrels, and inordinately careful in putting those lessons to use, hoping to produce something that would finally merit some recognition amongst the flood of successes his older brother continued to pull in.

"A passable first attempt," was all his father said when presented with the barrel at dinner that night. "You'll still be using the one your brother made for you, I assume?"

-o-​

"Hey barrel-boy, come over here. I think I've almost got this jutsu down, I need a little more chakra to try again."

Noburi sighed. How does Michi avoid all this crap?, he thought. "Why would I do that, Yaru?"

The older boy blinked slowly. "Because I said to?"

"You've been a jerk to me all year! You haven't said thank you once, even after showing off your doton jutsu finally got that Kurosawa girl to pay attention to you! So why should I keep helping you?"

"I can kick the snot out of you!"

"Maybe, but you'd get hurt too. And Kita-sensei would be mad at you."

Yaru chewed his tongue at the thought of their quietly terrifying ninjutsu instructor, who everyone knew played favorites towards Noburi. "Alright… you can have one of my dumplings from my lunch today if you help me."

"And you'll say thank you," appended Noburi.

"...and I'll say thank you," Yaru agreed.

-o-​

Noburi knocked softly on the door.

"Go 'way!" Ayaka shrieked hoarsely.

He raised an eyebrow at Saya, standing next to him. She nodded curtly, determination filling her soft brown eyes. "Not gonna," he called back. "We're coming in."

As he gently pushed the door open against the resistance of the laundry basket that had been set against it, the light fell on a sobbing Ayaka face-down on her bed.

"You don't have to tell me what happened, Aya," he said as he scooped her up into a cradling hug, "but it might make you feel better." He saw her lower lip quiver before she buried her head in his arm. She mumbled something. "What was that?" he coaxed.

Aya turned to her twin. "You didn' tell 'im?"

Saya shook her head solemnly. "Nope. Promised." Ayaka nodded just as solemnly. "We got candies, cause momma said it would help cheer you up," Saya continued.

"...candies? Did you get banana flavored ones?" Ayaka asked hopefully, perking up slightly.

"You bet we did," answered Noburi, offering her a paper-wrapped sweet.

"...the big kids called you names," Ayaka admitted as she clutched it. "I told 'em to stop it and be nice, and they hit me and said all us Wakahisa are stupid."

"Sounds like an exciting first day. What was Saya doing?"

"Eatin' my lunch inside with some other girls!" Saya interjected excitedly. "They were cool, not like those ugly big kids!"

"They were dumb! That's why I went outside." Ayaka stuck her tongue out at her sister.

"Yeah, girls are pretty dumb," agreed Noburi, ruffling both of their hair.

Ayaka almost nodded in sage agreement before the twins both realized what he'd said.

"Hey!/Are not!" they shouted simultaneously. Saya leapt up so they could jointly tackle him off the bed, which rapidly descended into a tickle fight of legendary proportions.

-o-​

The sun was bright, the fog that normally hung around the village was minimal, there were gulls and songbirds everywhere enjoying the coming of the spring.

It was, Noburi decided, a terrible day for a funeral. Having cried himself to sleep for the last several nights, and cried his eyes dry into his mother's skirt that morning, all that was left was to feel the numbness around the jagged hole in his heart left by his brother's passing.

When the service concluded, he at first couldn't bring himself to throw down dirt onto the coffin, still not wanting to believe it was really happening. Then he caught a stern look from his father from across the grave site, silently chastising him for appearing weak in front of the assembled clan, and began shoveling.

His father caught up with him soon afterwards. "Noburi," he began, his voice choked with emotion for the first time Noburi could remember. "From now on the burden of being the firstborn falls on your shoulders. I... have every confidence you will live up to it."

-o-​

After Daichi died, nothing seemed to go right.

He got chewed out by Kita-sensei for half an hour - quietly, which made it much worse - over an offhanded joke about being Mizukage one day, and the other instructor who he'd been a teacher's pet to, Ito-sensei, was put back on active duty later that year, after which the older kids could bully Noburi with impunity.

He tried to compensate by making friends with other instructors and asking for personal lessons and pointers, but they all just seemed disappointed in his inability to grasp their lessons the first time around and weren't inclined to give second chances.

In the end the only way he could learn to defend himself was to fight back, which started continually earned him demerits. When he was put on a team with one of the worst bullies from his own year, it was no surprise to Noburi that the other boy ruined pretty much every mission, probably out of spite.

Still, he tried his best to improve his skills and his standing. Sure, the missions he took the lead on never really worked out that well, but the point of low-ranked missions was the learning experience, right?

Eventually he made the right impression, and got called out from his squad for a special large-scale mission into enemy territory. The only Wakahisa going, a representative of his clan! Finally something was going his way. His dad would be so proud.

-o-​

Their trip to the village had been a disaster, as far as Noburi was concerned. Sure, they'd accomplished a couple of their mission objectives, but they'd been made to look like idiots and the villagers were now probably suspicious of their cover story.

And it was all because of that smug bastard Kurosawa. Even though Shikigami-sensei had made him nominally the head of their squad, Noburi should have been taking the lead in a first contact situation. Putting a socially incompetent weirdo like Kurosawa as their point-man was, frankly, stupid.

If he had been in charge, Noburi was sure they would have come away with better information, more of the goods they needed, and without having made such a poor impression. Why did Shikigami-sensei and Mari-sensei pay so much attention to Kurosawa anyway? The other boy was probably a huge kiss-ass behind the scenes.

And Mori, kami. How do you even make it through the academy being that passive? Though maybe that was fine for someone expecting to go into logistics, and Noburi had to admit that he probably wasn't seeing her at her best. She'd been pretty shaken up by all the gruesome deaths happening, so maybe he could cut her some slack. Plus, she was cute, and when did that not earn you a little leniency?

He glanced over at the object of his musings as she surveyed the death swamp around them, stone-faced. Yeah, she needs a pick-me-up, he thought. An idea came to him, one that would let him get one over on Kurosawa and show off his sense of humor in front of Keiko.

...​

"Kurosawa." He poked his teammate's dozing form as Mori disappeared to relieve herself.

"Mmh?"

"I have a plan. Mori seems pretty down - I think we should try to help her lighten up. You know, do her a favor as her teammates."

"Sure. And how's that going to work?"

"Well, tomorrow when you're doing your water-walking training…"

-o-​

"Hey, Mr Ninja, where do you come from? Is it cold like it is here? Is it full of trees? Are there giant fish? Are you married? Can you do ninja magic? Would you like some berries? Is that lady your girlfriend? Are any of the ninja villages bigger than our village?"

"Woooah, hang on girls," Noburi said, holding up his hands to stem the tide of inquisitive village youngsters. "Saya- I mean, Sachiko," he quickly corrected himself, "you first." None of them seemed to have caught his slip-up. Including Mori and Kurosawa, who were occupied silently commiserating with each other about their apparent mutual hatred of little girls. He sighed. Marching around and corralling hyperactive munchkins was cutting a little close to home.

-o-​

Kurosawa, Noburi, and Mori sat around the campfire as the sun set (figuring that if Inoue-sensei wanted them, she could damn well find them herself). There was a curious feeling of warmth enveloping them that had little to do with the dancing flames.

Kurosawa broke the comfortable silence. "You know, we've been through a lot together. Remember what terrified little newbies we were back at the Swamp of Death? Now look at us."

Noburi gave him a skeptical look. "Are you saying you're not terrified anymore?" I mean, we're definitely better, but we almost died multiple times just today. Surely even he's not that overconfident?

Kurosawa shrugged. "More like… I know you guys have my back. All those bizarre chakra monsters we've fought? None of us could have faced them alone. I think today just drove that home. And that goes for all the infiltrations as well. I like how I have you to brainstorm plans with, and point out errors, and how you guys can do things I can't, and the other way round, without me having to feel bad about it. I never really had that with my old team. I was a loner, and that suited both me and them fine."

Noburi leaned back and looked up at the emerging stars, partly to give himself time to think and partly to hide the emotions on his face. "You know what I like?" he asked somewhat hesitantly. "The two of you have never once treated me as a walking chakra battery, and Inoue-sensei hasn't either. That's what I was expecting when I went on that mission. You don't get to shine as a Wakahisa. No matter who you are or what you can do, everyone just wants you to power them up and then stay in the background while they steal the spotlight. And… you don't do that. So thanks, I guess." God that sounded lame... He forced himself not to look down to gauge their reactions.

What felt like an eternity later, Mori spoke up. "I… I don't mind being in the background so much. I like that there's something only I can do, even if it doesn't look impressive. I'm not saying I want to be here, not knowing what's going to happen next, and scared for my life every day, but I'm glad I can be helpful to someone, and I'm glad I'm not alone."

"What do you want, Mori?" Kurosawa asked. "We've been so focused on running away, we've never discussed our plans for the future."

Mori looked surprised. "Want? I want all this to be over. I want things to make sense again. But that's not going to happen, is it? You can't come back from being a missing-nin."

"Maybe not," Kurosawa replied. "But I think you can move forwards. We've all grown a lot compared to how we started out. Maybe not yet, but sometime soon we can start thinking about where we want to be, and what we want to do. I don't know about you guys, but I only ever had one thing tying me to Mist, and that was my mum. Now she's on her own, and… and I want to get her out of there, or at least make sure she's safe. Then I can move on with no regrets."

"No regrets, huh?" Noburi repeated thoughtfully. That had been a surprisingly emotional statement from the normally mechanical boy. "I like the sound of that. Let's face it, we've got a really badass jōnin leader, a girl with a brain the size of a planet, and a rising star of ninjutsu. Oh, and Kurosawa, you can be pretty good in a fight too. Sometimes. I don't like the idea of getting killed any more than the next man – and the next man is Kagome – but I feel like it would be a waste not to do something really big with all that talent sooner or later."

Mori gave him a weird look. "How can you sit here, on the edge of a forest full of deadly monsters, in the middle of nowhere with Mist hunter-nin out there looking for us, and say something like that?"

"Because, Mori, once Kurosawa and I have a plan, I trust you to figure out how to make it work."

Her mouth opened and closed soundlessly as she tried to come up with a reply to that, which Noburi was pretty proud of.

"Guys," Kurosawa said before she could respond, with a slight tremor to his voice, "we've saved each other's lives several times each now, and we're probably going to be stuck together for the foreseeable future. And I could be wrong, but I feel like... we're becoming friends. Do you think that--" he swallowed "--maybe it's time we moved to first names?"

An awkward silence filled the clearing. The fire seemed to burn more quietly. Wow, all kinds of unexpected things coming out of Kurosawa tonight. Or, I guess, out of Hazou? That doesn't sound so bad, I guess... thought Noburi.

"I… I mean, if you don't think that's…" the other boy continued.

"You've really got to chill out… Hazou," Noburi said, finding it much more difficult to say than it had been to think. "You always have to take everything so seriously. Right, Kei… K… Ke…" Gah! Why?? That could have been so smooth!

"Don't push yourself," Hazou teased. "It's not like we don't have time to get used to the idea. If you're both OK with it, I mean."

Keiko didn't say anything, but gave a faint nod.

-o-​

Keiko was almost shrieking, on the verge of tears. "There's nothing left, you're the only thing I still lo—"

Realizing what she was saying.

The awful silence as everyone else realized it too.

Noburi had sort of known, if not totally accepted, that she wasn't attracted to him - might well not be attracted to guys at all - but… was he really nothing to her? Were the rest of the team nothing to her, after all they'd been through, after all they'd done for each other? After the times they'd saved each others' lives?! He started to open his mouth to respond.

"We need to keep moving," Hazou said loudly. "We're still being pursued, and we should meet up with Kagome-sensei and get out of Hot Springs as fast as possible. If he's not at camp, he must be checking the tertiary trap array."

Noburi looked over to him in shock. How could he possibly be thinking that coherently right now? Did he not care, just as much as Keiko said she didn't care? She at least had the decency to act horrified by it!

"Keiko, we all care about you and respect your feelings," Akane said suddenly, "but right now we have to put everything on hold until we're safe. Now, you're the least injured, so could you drop back and guard the rear of the formation? I'll be just ahead of you carrying gear."

Akane too?? No, no, breathe, he told himself. It dawned on him what they were doing, and he slotted into formation next to Hazou.

...​

"Not now, Hazou, I'm trying to figure out how to not die," Mari-sensei said darkly.

Noburi caught Hazou's split-second frown, and then the other boy suddenly sprang into action.

"Kai! Damnit!" he shouted before jumping at a startled Kagome and frantically starting to search through the squirming sealmaster's pack. "Calm down, I just need something! Here's the plan," he said, not looking up. "We head over that way"—he gestured west-northwest—"moving fast and leaving a trail. Hopefully we can pull the Hot Springs and Leaf teams together. Whether they start talking or fighting, it gives us more time to escape. When they're getting close we stage our deaths, Yellow Flash to break trail, then run like hell. Noburi, dole out some water for everyone. Overcharge us, because we need to run fast, and we're probably going to be tossing around a lot of jutsu."

He followed the instructions almost on autopilot, reeling from how fast Hazou had put that strategy together. It had happened a couple times before - in fact, it had happened earlier that night when Joutarou's voice came through the door. Noburi shook his head as the team took off running again, figuring that was another topic for when they were all safe.

…​

As the light and heat of the fire fell behind them, Akane's legs gave out under her and she crumpled to the ground.

"Shitshitshit!" Hazou said, sliding to a kneeling stop next to her. "What did you do, you stupid girl?!" He frantically grabbed her hand, and seemed to be feeling for a pulse.

"Move!" Noburi said roughly, recognizing the chakra exhaustion for what it was and shoving Hazou aside. Idiot, getting in the way of the medic! He lifted Akane's head and poured water into her mouth; it dribbled out her lips.

"Do something!" Hazou said, practically shouting.

"This is gonna suck," Noburi muttered. He grabbed Akane's jaw, poured in some more chakra-soaked water, sealed his lips to hers, and blew hard.

Akane's head slammed into his before he could pull back, and she spat much of the water back up at him. A good deal landed in his mouth.

He watched Akane for a moment as he spat and wiped his face, then noticed her chest start rising again. "Okay," he said. "She'll be fine in a minute. She coughed most of it out before it could help, so I'll give her another dose when she's breathing properly. That was too damn close, though."

As Hazou grabbed his apprentice's hand again, relief and gratitude clear on his face, Noburi marveled at how it was possible for a guy who was some kind of tactical genius just minutes earlier to have been reduced to hysteria so quickly. Then he shook himself mentally and refilled the cup to give Akane a second dose. They weren't out of the woods yet. They were all depending on him, and he wasn't about to let his friends down.

---

All thread participants have earned 5 XP IRL.

@eaglejarl and @Velorien have earned an additional 2 XP each for allowing me to use the "Nobby-niichan/knobby-knee chan" pun I have been saving forever and letting me name the crab-summoning clan 'Crab'.

Voting (still, I think) ends on Saturday, August 26, 2016, at 9am Pacific time. UPDATED: Wednesday August 30, at 12pm London time.

 

[OliWhail]

Interlude: Hallways and Humans
By @OliWhail
​

"Alright, that concludes the Harvest phase! Panfor, your character is still doing research on human cuisine, right?" Pandaa asked excitedly.

"Yeah, he wants to see if he can figure out enough of these ancient recipes to actually try an' make one!" the younger pangolin replied.

"Alright, what you're gonna do is roll a dee-twenty-seven and add your Librarian skill."

"Does he get anything for his Cooking proficiency?" Panfor's older sister Pankara asked, fluttering her nostrils flirtatiously.

"Er, um, yeah, sure! Go ahead and take a plus... two?" Pandaa answered haltingly, trying to keep his tail from wriggling. Keep it together man, it's not like you have the breeding license to do anything about it...

There was a brief clatter as the die hit the stone dais the group was playing on. "Aw yeah, twenty-one!" Panfor shouted.

"Total?"

"Huh, oh, no, that plus eight makes..."

"Twenty-nine," supplied Pankara helpfully.

"Alright, well, twenty-nine is enough for you to uncover the eldritch secrets of..." Pandaa
lowered his voice as much as possible, which admittedly wasn't very far. "...burritos."

"AAAAAH!" Panfor fell out off the dais shrieking, then poked his snout back over the top. "Wha's a burrito?"

"Ooooh I am SO glad you asked!" Pandaa exclaimed. "A burrito consists of a bulk, proteinaceous filling and a variety of texture- and flavor-enhancing ingredients bundled together by an edible wrapper. For example, mashed beetles and ants stuffed into a hollowed-out chrysalis!"

"OOH OOH I want to make one!"

"Pandaa, I'm glad you paid attention in cult-anth," interrupted Pankara ("Well 'course I did," Pandaa started saying), "BUT my character really needs to start working on the next campaign season. I'm up for re-election remember?"

"Ah, right, so, the town is generally pleased with your decisions from last year to lower taxes and raise spending, but that's started causing a budget deficit that the other city counsel members may try to leverage against you."

Her eyes narrowed. "They're going to hire assassins to come after me?"

"Um. No? They'll just slander you in public. Reputation is very important when the people have some influence in the government, you see, and it's even more important in this alternate universe that doesn't have ninjas."

"I still say that's a stupid house rule," Pankara griped.

"Hey, I invented 'Hallways and Humans', my house rules are canon!"

"Pandaaaaaaa what do I roll to make a burrito?"

"Never mind that, who's the biggest threat to my mayoral position?"

"Roll for burrito! Roll for burrito! Roll for burrito!"

"OKAY, we're gonna CALM DOWN for just a bit, okay? Okay," Pandaa declared, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. "Panfor, stop grabbing my tail, it's rude and I already know you want my attention."

"I'm not grabbing your tail?" The younger pangolin held up his hands in confusion.

"Then wha--" Pandaa was cut off as he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

-o-
​

Pandaa realized what must be happening almost immediately after he began hurtling through nonspace, but he couldn't bring himself to believe it. He was getting summoned! He, Pandaa, was getting summoned, to the Human Path, to meet with the first summoner for the Pangolin Clan in centuries.

Okay, okay, gotta play it cool, be suave, make a good first impression, "Keep your tail high and your claws low," like Gran used to say, he ordered himself mentally.

An eternal instant of being gently poured across the universe later, he found himself standing in a clearing on a wooded mountainside next to one small and feeble-looking female human(!!!) with her bloody finger on the contract, an older male human who looked like he'd been stretched out and needed a mud bath and a good night's sleep, and upwards of thirty older humans standing slightly further off wearing expressions his ruthlessly drilled anthropological training informed him were different shades of shock and anger.

Aaaaaaah shit, he thought. Then he caught a whiff of the area's scents, and his brain went into overdrive. Tapirs! They must have been keeping anyone from getting to our contract! No, wait, the ones at the back aren't from the Summon Path... and they would have destroyed the contract anyhow. Whatever, time for that later, need to defuse the situation! Think, Pandaa, THIIIINK....

"About damn time someone called on the mighty clan of Pangolin," he heard himself say, as he took up a disdainful pose and looked the new summoner girl over. "A little young, aren't you?" Holy crap that sounded smooth, why can't I be like that when I'm around Pankara?

"Uh...," she responded eloquently

Pandaa shrugged, while shrieking internally. Our first summoner in generations and she's brain-damaged. Ain't that just my luck. "Whatever. What's your name, kid?"

"Keiko," she said after a moment. "Mori Keiko. It's very nice to meet you."

"I'm Pandaa, nice to meet you too. You ready to go?"

"Go?" she asked.

He couldn't resist clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "Go to the Summon Realm, of course. What, you think all you had to do was sign it and we'd be at your beck and call? Geez, kid, show some respect. You need to come meet people, let us get to know you and decide if we want to be your summons." I'm soooo coooooool!!!

"Uh...," she said again.

Yup, someone musta dropped her on her head as a pup. "I'll take that as a yes," he said. "Let's go."

He focused briefly on the slightly-off feeling in his belly and pulled, and they were off.

-o-
​

Away from the pressure of a couple dozen angry humans(!!!), Pandaa couldn't contain his excitement any longer. He led Keiko (no, Mori, humans wanted you to use their family name until you knew them better. Or was Keiko her family name? It was the first one she'd introduced herself as... and being someone's primary liaison probably counted as knowing them pretty well. Keiko it was!) through as many areas of the city as he could, showing off his new implied status as the special diplomatic representative to the Human Path.

A lot of people were understandably freaked out -- only the really old pangolins had seen a human in person -- but Pandaa fancied he saw a couple of looks from females bordering on bedroom eyes.

After making a brief stop at the Command Stone and peppering her with just about every question on humans he'd ever had that he hadn't been able to work out from the anthropology section of the library, the pair finally arrived at the tower over the fortress of the Polemarch.

...​

Pandaa steeled himself as the vast doors to Pantsaa's chamber opened. He and Keiko had been quickly waved through the front gates and escorted up to the last hallway once the guards confirmed his identity and that Keiko was, in fact, the summoner. Or summoning candidate, since she could still fail. It was nice, being treated like he mattered for once.

Of course, playing in the big leagues just meant the stakes were bigger too -- if Keiko didn't pass muster, his whole life was pretty much over. He wished fervently that he had spent at least a few minutes drilling her on pangolin manners as they stepped over the threshold.

"At your command, Polemarch," Pandaa announced, remembering his formalities and standing to attention but failing to keep the abject terror he felt out of his voice. After a moment's pause he noticed Keiko's hands were still by her sides and nudged her urgently with his tail. "Your hands! Make the peace sign, you beakface!" he said as quietly as he could. She hurried to interlace her fingers.

"At ease, Pandaa," the Polemarch commanded, in a voice Pandaa was sure would have shaken his scales right off if it hadn't been produced by ninjutsu. "I thank you for bringing the summoner candidate to me. You may wait outside."

"Your will, Polemarch," Pandaa tapped his tail on the ground, then hurried to get away from his terrifying commander (because he was going to be in the military now! This was so AWESOME!!), pausing to hiss "Don't screw up." to Keiko.

The vast doors closed silently behind him as he exited into the hallway and began pacing, wishing even more furiously he had given Keiko a proper anthropological briefing before bringing her to speak to the leader of the entire Pangolin Clan. She was a human after all, what if she--

"YOU DARE BRING THAT HERE?!"

Pandaa felt that one even from his position halfway down the hallway. All he could think was Shit, shit shit shit, she's dead, I'm dead, we're all dead, goodbye mom, tell Pankara I love her.

But the tidal wave of monstrously powerful ninjutsu coming to end him totally failed to materialize, as did the sound of the Polemarch tearing through the stone of the fortress to squish the arrogant anthropologist who had dared to bring such an unacceptable summoning candidate before him.

Utterly perplexed, Pandaa scurried over and stood to attention just outside the doors. Not two minutes later, Keiko walked through, and Pandaa practically fell over himself in shock. "You're alive! Oh, thank the Pantokrator! Are you our summoner now, officially?"

She looked just as surprised as him as they began to walk back down the hallway. "Yes. I have accepted the terms Pantsaa offered, and now need to seek out pangolins willing to contract with me. Speaking of which, it seems that both of us have much to learn about each other's worlds. I would be glad if you would be willing to be my summon, in exchange for spending time in the Human Path."

For the second time in as many minutes Pandaa had to catch himself on his tail to stop himself from falling over. "I can't believe it, I really can't! I get to be a summon! Me! The first summon since Ui's Six Scourges! Oh, this is wonderful! Thank you so much for not dying!"

"You know," Keiko said with an odd tone to her voice, "no one has ever said that to me before." Pandaa blinked at that. He knew the Human Path was a pretty brutal place, but that was a bit much. She turned to examine him. "And you are satisfied with our pact?" she asked.

"Of course I am! I get to have my questions about humans answered, and be shown human things, and places, and people, and you get me to fight for you! Well, sort of. I mean, I'm an anthropologist, not a warrior. But I'm still a proud member of the Pangolin Clan, with the greatest weapons and armour on the Seventh Path, and the finest senses. And I'm sure once I've been through basic training, I'll be a complete badass!"

He could picture it now. Oooooh Pandaa-sama, your knowledge of foreign and exotic locations is sooooo sexy, not to mention your muscles and immense wealth. Yeah, he could get used to that. "So, shall I send you back to the Human Path? It's a shame to let you go, I mean, I still have a thousand questions, but things seemed kinda serious where you were, and I don't want you to get hit with field punishment on my account."

"Actually," Keiko said, "could you perhaps do me a small favour? You are correct to note that the situation surrounding my trial was... tense, when you showed up, but I think I have a way you could correct that."

"I'm all ears!" My first mission as a summons! Oh, this is gonna be great!

...​

There were even more humans(!!!) gathered around when they got back, though the number who looked ready to attack Keiko had dropped notably. The oldest humans were sitting front and center, perfect for the little show Pandaa had been tasked to put on.

He walked in front of the crowd. "Let it be known," he said in as close a replica to the Polemarch's voice as he could manage, "that the human Mori Keiko is hereby accepted as the successor of Ui Isas and the Summoner of the Pangolin Clan. Those who aid her will earn the Pangolin Clan's favour, and those who set themselves against her will suffer the Pangolin Clan's fury." Holy shit, I'm so much cooler in the Human Realm! Wait, I have to do the sending-off part too. How did that go? Hmmmmmm oh, right.

He turned to face Keiko. "The Pangolin Clan commands you, Mori Keiko, to leave this place and take the summoning scroll to where it may be used to battle against the clan's enemies, for the honour of our ancestors and the glory of the Pantokrator."

Then he pulled on the cords of chakra in his stomach and got the hell out of there. He had a game to get back to!

-o-
​

"We're going to stage our deaths," Hazou said. "One of the pursuing teams gets here, Pandaa sets off the explosives, the bodies get blown up. The enemy team pauses, shocked. The other team shows up a few seconds later, drawn by the noise. To them it looks like the first team just took us out. The two groups should be jumpy and they should wrangle a bit, giving us time to get away."

"I'm ready!" Pandaa called, waving one clawed paw to get it above ground level -- he had dug out a meter-deep trench under the overhanging branches of a nearby bush while the humans discussed their plan. "This is exciting!"

There was some discussion of bodies and meat-parts that he didn't particularly pay attention to, busy as he was imagining how he was going to tell this story to everyone he knew. He was pulled from his reverie by Keiko kneeling by his hideout. "Pandaa, remember: unsummon yourself as soon as you set off the explosives," she said. "I don't want you hurt."

"Yes, ma'am!" he said, hopping with excitement. It wasn't like it would matter that much anyway, everyone knew summons were mainly chakra-constructs when on other Paths. "I wait until the enemy gets here, then I break the trigger and blow everything up, then I unsummon! I am so on this!" He hopped from foot to foot. "This is going to be so exciting! My parents are never going to believe it!"

After a little more setup, Keiko's team threw some kunai out into the night and vanished, and Pandaa settled in to wait and listen, hardly daring to breathe.

He didn't have to wait long. Less than a minute after Keiko's squad had departed he heard the sound of oncoming feet and immediately passed a claw through the space between the seals Kagome had laid down.

Then, driven mostly by the desire to see a gigantic explosion, he totally failed to de-summon himself. Instead, he quietly scampered out of the hole and as far into the woods around the clearing as he dared before stopping and staying quiet.

Not that the enemy would have heard him over their own footfalls and the earsplitting KABOOM that ripped through the clearing, followed shortly by the sound (and smell!) of sizzling meat. Mmmm, tasty... no, focus Pandaa, focus!

To his left, he heard exclamations of shock from the enemy which quickly turned to fear as the fire started spreading rapidly. There were sounds of scrambling as the ninja started backtracking rapidly. Pandaa smelled a recon opportunity (and a chance to see some new humans!) and scurried along behind them. His tail got a bit singed, but on the plus side he could brag about being injured in combat now, and it wasn't even permanent! Being a summon was great!

Eventually he found himself running right into a curved granite wall, which was both disheartening and confusing. Pandaa carefully dug down and over, poking his snout out into air you could smell the tension in.

"...violated Fire's borders?" someone, a younger woman based on the samples from Keiko's group, was asking.

"We're chasing a group of terrorists who killed several people at a resort in Hot Springs. There was no time for bureaucratic bullshit. Now, can we work together on this or are you going to get in our way?" an older woman replied dismissively.

"You don't get to waltz into our borders, set off a forest fire, and then order Leaf-nin around!"

"Yes, I do. It's in the treaty -- jounin from Hot Springs can commandeer Leaf border forces performing nonessential functions to aid in the pursuit, capture, or elimination of violators of the DMZ. So if you want, I can order you to help, or you can come with us to figure out why six assassins just killed themselves and lit the countryside on fire after running deep into your territory."

Now a young man, older than Hazou or Noburi if Pandaa guessed right, spoke up. "If you will excuse me, Leaf-nin-san, it seems possible that this is exactly what they wanted us to do, though perhaps they hoped it would happen before we caught up to them, leading them to kill themselves to deny us intel."

"Kotsuzui is correct." A different young man this time. "We need to establish what happened over there. Their trajectory could easily have put them into Rice, which is hugely worrying, and the more info we can gather the better a picture we can put together. That info is currently on fire. Do any of you have techniques useful for combatting the fire besides the wall-making jutsu you just used?" There were affirmative noises from three voices. "Excellent. And I suppose a mednin to help me examine the bodies would be too much to hope for?" This was met with negative responses and a long-suffering sigh. "As usual."

"Cheer up, Kirisaki, you can probably do whatever you want with the corpses once we determine what happened!" the older woman butted in. "Now, are we going to get to the bottom of this, or do will we have to do it ourselves and report you for breaking treaty clauses?"

Deciding Keiko would probably be happy enough with that, Pandaa finally de-summoned himself.

-o-​

"...and that's how I saved Summoner Keiko's entire squad from two armies of enemy ninja," he finished, waving his claws for dramatic effect.

Pankara snorted. "You're a terrible liar, Pandaa. Lucky for you you're cute." She finished the last of her ants and hopped up to get back to patrolling, waving goodbye as she left.

Pandaa sat there for a while, struck dumb. He had a chance! This was the best job ever!

---

Pandaa has earned +1 Self Confidence.

Voting ends Wednesday August 30, at 12pm London time.

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 67: Breathe, Drink, Flee​

"Take a second," Noburi said, helping Akane to her feet. "Recovering from chakra exhaustion isn't like coming back from low reserves."

"What were you thinking?!" Hazou demanded. "How—"

"Stop."

Hazou turned in shock, looking at Inoue-sensei. "What?"

Inoue-sensei's face, normally mobile and expressive, was utterly still as she studied Akane. "Your stupidity has slowed the team in hostile territory," she said calmly. "You have significantly reduced your combat ability at a time when we are being hunted by not one but two enemy ninja teams. That endangers the rest of us, since if we are attacked you will not be able to fight beside us and we will have to worry about protecting you. I'm sure you thought you were being 'youthful', but this was a thoughtless and selfish thing to do. I expect better. Acknowledge your understanding."

Akane's eyes were huge and her face pale as milk. She nodded frantically.

Inoue-sensei studied her for a moment longer, then nodded. "Good." She turned to the medic. "Noburi, how long before she's fully capable?"

"Uh...not long," he said. "Probably just a few minutes?"

"Can she run?"

He nodded jerkily. "Yes. Uh...yes, she should be able to. I think. I haven't actually seen—"

"Good enough," Inoue-sensei said. "Iron is still a good destination, but I'm concerned about our chakra levels. I know that being treated as a chakra battery is a concern for you, but right now we really need your help. We've been tanking you up while waterrunning on rivers. Is there a faster way for us to get you refilled?"

"A lake or pond with lots of aquatic life," Noburi said. "Fish don't have much, but if there's enough of them it adds up. Lakes tend to have more in one place than rivers do."

"Right. We'll look for that as we run." She turned to survey the group. "I am nervous about crossing the border into Iron right now, but not too sanguine about staying in Fire either. Failing a better idea we'll continue on to Iron, but I'm open to suggestions."

Every single member of the team turned and stared at Hazou.

Oh, come on! he thought, but dug around in his pouch for the map and unfolded it to the area they were in.

"Okay," he said. "Here's the border, which I'd expect to be heavily patrolled. The rivers are probably an issue as well—they make obvious ninja highways since you don't leave tracks or need to worry about land-based chakra beasts. I'd say we find a way to hole up either here or here. Get some sleep, then find a place for Noburi to refill. By then the fuss should have died down a bit and we can cross back into Iron."

Inoue-sensei considered the map for a moment, then nodded. "Keiko, do you see any problems?" she asked.

Keiko shook her head mutely. She stood hunched over, arms wrapped around herself like she was trying to squeeze the horrible words from earlier back into her chest.

Inoue-sensei flashed her a reassuring smile, then looked back at the map. "We'll go here," she said, tapping one finger on the southwestern of the two potential hiding spots Hazou had indicated. "Akane, if you can't keep up you are to say so before you fall over. You will not allow yourself to become chakra depleted again. Acknowledge your understanding."

"I understand, sensei," Akane said quietly.

"Excellent. Let's move."

o-o-o-o​

Spoiler: Dice

Percentage of his own max capacity that Noburi managed to refill to from various sources along the way:
1d100: 90
Chakra has been distributed between people, and what is recovered from resting is also allotted.

The place they finally stopped wasn't ideal, but it also wasn't bad: a small clear space just a few meters wide in the middle of a half-acre thicket of bushes that was in turn inside a particularly dense section of forest. It didn't make a good defensive location—there wasn't room to maneuver and attackers would be able to rain attacks down from above—but it was excellent for hiding.

Inoue-sensei examined the space for a moment, hands on hips, then nodded satisfaction. "Okay, set up camp. Cold camp, four watches. Schedule is me, Noburi, Hazou, me again. Kagome, you'll set up traps around the clearing while I'm on first watch. You will not use explosives or anything that makes noise or light. Force Wall seals only. Keiko, I'm not putting you on watch because I need you to do something else."

"Anything, sensei."

Inoue-sensei smiled and set both hands on her apprentice's shoulders. "There are some things we all need to talk about, but this isn't the time for it. The whole team is exhausted and we can't survive a fight if we get found. I need you to sleep for a bit, then go to the Summon Realm and look for some combat-oriented contracts. I realize the timing is lousy, but will you do it anyway? Don't spend more than a day on it, and I promise we'll talk when you come back."

"Of course, sensei," Keiko whispered, swallowing convulsively.

Inoue-sensei flashed a grateful smile and gave the girl's shoulders a reassuring squeeze before letting go. "Thank you, Keiko," she said. "Bed down, we'll set up camp."

No ninja makes it through the Mist Academy's Hell Week without learning to fall sleep quickly under any conditions—soaking wet, freezing cold, lying on gravel with leather-lunged drill instructors leading combat training two steps away, it didn't matter. Somehow, despite having graduated with honors, it still took Keiko twenty minutes to slip into dreams while her team quietly set up rain flies over her and lay out their bedrolls.

o-o-o-o​

The morning dawned cold, grey, and wet. Inoue-sensei had bent the 'no fire' rules enough to unseal a hibachi full of well-tended and mostly smokeless coals, in which she had prepared one pot of congee and another of tea.

"Food's almost ready," she said quietly. "You know the drill, folks: wash, dress, eat. No food for dirty, smelly people."

The group shivered through sketchy ablutions and pulled on fresh clothes before huddling around the hibachi. They stamped their feet and blew on trembling hands as they each accepted a bowlful of mouth-scorchingly hot porridge from their red-headed leader.

Inoue Mari was a beautiful and intelligent woman. She was a master spy and a champion at taijutsu. (Although the latter was mostly because she cheated.) She was world-class at deception and genjutsu. She was a brilliant dancer, a reasonably talented singer, and a passable flower arranger. She was superlative in any social situation, whether it be making small talk at a noble's cocktail party or defusing tensions in a group of awkward teenagers with social drama hanging over their heads like looming thunderclouds. Her accomplishments were many and varied.

Cooking was not among them.

Hazou chopped a slab of the slightly-scorched congee out of his bowl and beat it into submission with his teeth before letting his stomach and intestines try their luck. Before assaying the second slab he smiled weakly at his teacher. "Thank you, sensei," he said. "This is good."

"No it isn't," Kagome said, spooning it up quickly. "Tastes like ass."

The genin all paused, spoons in midair as they stared in horror at the sealmaster.

Kagome felt the eyes on him and looked up.

"Wha'?" he asked, the words blurred by the spoon in his mouth. "It does." He gulped down the bite he'd been chewing and gestured at Akane's bowl, which the youthful-yet-recovering genin had set down in unsuccessfully-concealed distaste. "You gonna eat that?"

o-o-o-o​

After they finished breakfast and cleaned up, Keiko summoned Pandaa.

"Keiko, you're all right! Ooh, ooh, I did what you said! I watched and I set the explosion off and it was so cool! I didn't unsummon right away, though, because I wanted to see the bad guys and so I spied on them! They were all forted up inside this big rock dome and one of them was all 'hey, you can't be here!' and then one of the others was all 'yes we can!' and the first one said 'no you can't' and the other one said 'we can order you to help us track them down if you want or you can just do it' and then—"

"Shhhh!" Keiko said, patting the air with both hands in silent entreaty for the overexcited pangolin to lower his volume. "We're hiding!"

Pandaa's paws stopped gesturing wildly and he stopped bouncing in place. "Oh, right." His claws drummed furiously on his underbelly for a moment. "Sorry," he whispered. "Is this better?"

"You don't have to whisper," Keiko said. "Just not so loud."

"Right, sorry. Anyway, I watched the bad guys. They talked about how they were going to use jutsu to fight the fire and check the bodies. They believed that you were dead, so that's good, right?"

"Did they say which direction they were going to look?" Hazou asked.

"Yeah, they did! They— Oops, sorry. Right, being quiet. Anyway, they said they thought you guys might have been headed for Corn and that was bad, so—"

"Do you mean Rice?" Inoue-sensei asked.

"Um...." Taptaptap went the claws on the underbelly. "Yes! Yes, that— Sorry, quiet. Yes, Rice. They thought you might have been headed to Rice, so they were going to search your bodies to figure out why you killed yourselves, then look that way."

The group exchanged relieved glances. "Okay, good," Inoue-sensei said. "We should be safe for a while, then. Keiko, you ready?"

"Yes, sensei," Keiko said, pulling her pack on. "Hold onto the scroll for me. Pandaa, could you bring me back to the Summon Path, please? I need to see if I can contract with some fighters."

Pandaa's face lit up. "Sure! Oh, this'll be great! Ooh, ooh, will you come talk to Pankara for me? She didn't believe me when I told her how I saved you guys, but if you told her then—! Right, sorry, being quiet. Okay, let's go."

With a puff of smoke and a faint popping noise, summoner and summon were gone.

Inoue-sensei sighed. "Well, that's one thing taken care of," she murmured to herself. "Okay, everyone, we're all on stand-down. Check your injuries to make sure they're clean, then drink water and sleep. I'm racking out." She flipped them a casual two-fingered wave and dropped bonelessly onto her bedroll. She curled up, pulled the blankets over herself, and was asleep in seconds.

o-o-o-o​

As much as Kagome loved being part of the team, he had been a solitary hermit for fifteen years. He needed more alone time than the others, and the ten-meter-wide space in the middle of the brambles didn't really allow for that. The best he'd been able to get was sitting at the edge of the tiny clearing, facing out so that everyone else was out of sight behind him. He'd been sitting there for an hour, breathing slowly and not otherwise moving while his hands made explosive seal blanks. It was soothing, and after all these years it took so little concentration that he could let his mind drift a bit. He carefully did not allow Ayako to be part of that drift—deliberately poking an old wound was kinda dumb—and instead focused on beautiful and relaxing fantasies.

"Agh! I die, caught in Kagome's masterful explosive traps!" cried the beefy, hunky, far-too-much-silky-hair stinking ninja stinker who had been pursuing the team for days. Immediately before being splattered all over the woods.

"Oh, Kagome, that was amazing!" Mari said. "I'm so glad you're with us! Here, would you like to come sit beside me and tell me about your sealing theories? I smell delicious and I don't mind if you cuddle against me a little!"

"Sensei?" Hazou asked quietly. "May I join you?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, sure." Kagome waved at the leaf litter next to himself. Hazou lay down his bedroll as a ground cloth and doubled it over for extra protection from the cold and the dew. He sank onto it with the unconscious grace that couldn't even imagine being forty and having your knees creak and your neck cramp and your fingers warn you that someday you were going to have joint-freeze like your father and that meant trouble holding a brush so you couldn't make seals anymore and then what use would you be to—

Kagome pushed the thoughts aside and paid more attention to the apprentice that he had somehow acquired after thinking that he'd completely abandoned humanity.

Hazou took a deep breath as though gathering himself for a huge physical effort. "Sensei, I don't want to do any seal research until we're somewhere safe with a good facility," he began carefully. "I would like to show you some ideas I've had, though, just to get a sense for which ones you think would be good to pursue."

"No such thing as good seals to research," Kagome said. "They'll mess you up. Sooner or later, everyone makes a mistake and then bam! Self-replicating crystals that suck all the water out of you and leave you a frozen husk. Or the ground melts into toxic sludge and swallows you up before turning back into solid ground so you're entombed forever. Or—"

"Just take a look, okay?" Hazou said, pushing a scroll of notes into his teacher's hands. "I promise I won't do anything at all on them until we're somewhere that we can make proper facilities."

Kagome grumbled to himself as he unwound the scroll, eyes flicking back and forth over Hazou's messy handwriting. He really needed to work with the kid on that. Penmanship was important, after all. One wrong kanji and someone could quite reasonably misunderstand the sealing precautions you were calling for and end up turning the instructor's cat into a glass statue in a way that was totally not anyone's fault and anyway wasn't forty switches a little unreasonable when nobody liked the mangy little creature anyway?

"Modular sealing?" Kagome said, in much the same tone that one might say 'bright orange camoflage?' "Sealing doesn't work that way. Chakra isn't that bright. You can't just take bits of one seal and plug them into bits of another. That would be like drawing the seal wrong in the first place. And you can't just make up a seal, you need to research it carefully. If you tried just plugging things together you could try to make a storage seal and end up making something that threw yellow acid everywhere."

Hazou cocked his head in interest. "Yellow acid? That actually sounds pretty cool. Maybe—"

"No!" Kagome snapped. "No trying to deliberately reproduce things that were disasters in the first place!"

"But—"

"No! Who's the sensei here, huh? Huh? Me, that's who!" He found himself echoing Ishikana-sensei without meaning to and remembered a moment too late that he had never been satisfied with Ishikana-sensei's argument from authority. Best to hurry on to the next option and hope that the kid didn't try to circle back to this. Pfah! Modular sealing indeed! The concept was ridiculous!

Let's see, what was next...oh. Hm.

"One seal version of Five-Seal Barrier...hm." He looked up into the trees, mind scurrying down all the potential research routes. "Hm." Scurry, scurry. "Maybe. It sorta works now—once you've set up a Five Seal you can take the outer four seals down without breaking the Barrier, it just makes the protection weaker." He tapped a finger on the scroll thoughtfully, looking for reasons it would be impossible. "You could probably come up with a version that didn't need the four external seals to be established, as long as you didn't mind that the protection wasn't any stronger than the central seal could allow."

He let his finger drift down. "Movable Force Wall. Yeah. Lock it to the tags instead of in place. Yeah. Should be doable. Probably cut your own fingers off, though. Like grabbing an invisible knife that you can't see and probably isn't where you thought it was because the world is like that and it hates us. Not sure about doing it with only one seal; there wouldn't be anything to define the boundaries." He closed his eyes to better visualize the forces that were present in a Wall. He let himself take one moment to enjoy the ability to close his eyes and know that his team—his team!—was keeping watch while he wasn't. Only one moment, then he forced his brain back on task.

The Force Wall was projected from one tag to another; what would it even mean to construct a wall between two non-existent seals? Still, the top and bottom weren't physically constrained...of course that was because they automatically stopped at the point where the chakra that composed the surface of the wall was smooth and in balance, which happened when it was of equal size on perpendicular axes around the center. Still...maybe you could use that principle to your advantage? Have a single seal, push chakra out in one direction and let the 'stretchiness' take care of expanding it in the other directions? You'd end up with something off balance and unstable which could easily explode into tiny shards of invisible chakra that would turn you into mulch. Of course, that wasn't necessarily the worst thing, and maybe you could stabilize it by pushing in more than one direction...?

"Maybe," he grunted. "Can't rule it out, at least. Probably eat our faces if we try, but that's like anything. Let's see, what other crazy insanity that will almost certainly kill us all have you got...?

"Hm. Reproduce a MEW, huh?" He deliberately made it sound like a kitten's noise, flicking a sly glance at his apprentice as he did so that he could enjoy the boy's flinch. Oh, he was a bad man. Still funny, though.

"No way," he said. "Way too complicated to make a seal that creates granite in whatever arrangement you want anywhere you want in range. Seals aren't even that good at range anyway. Nope, can't do. Let's see, next one—"

"What about just creating a single wall of a predetermined shape?" Hazou asked. "Take all the flexibility out of it and just make it do one single thing?"

"Well, sure," Kagome said. "That's pretty much just a storage scroll, except you're using more chakra and condensing it into a solid." He sniffed. "That's not what you asked for, though. MEW does more than that. If all you wanted was one wall you should have said that you just wanted one wall. Precision. I keep telling you, it's all about precision."

"Sorry, sensei," Hazou said.

Kagome grunted but let it go. "Let's see...surveillance seals based off those ones from the casino?" He blinked. "Be able to see and hear stinkers coming from far away? Oooooooooooohhhhhh." He had to swallow all the saliva before he could continue. "Hell of a project. Almost can't imagine where we'd start."

"Oh," Hazou said, disappointed. "I guess—"

"I said almost!" Kagome snapped, glaring. "Almost! Like, I can imagine it, it's just really hard. Like, really really hard. Crazy, in fact. Still. See, what we do is we start with that seal that makes a flash of light and we make it shine steadily instead. Then we see if we can change the color without making it turn everything within twenty meters green and furry. Then make two colors at once. Then...." He kept going, ticking off point after point on his long, ink-stained fingers. Sure, it would probably take a few years, but it should be—

"That's great, sensei!" Hazou said. "What about the specific ideas?"

"Hm? Oh, right." Skim, skim. "Multiple items in one storage seal and pop them out one at a time? Hm. Need to have a connection between them to pull them in all at once, and then how would you dispense them one by one? No time inside a storage seal, so you couldn't have a connection that expired while it was inside. Hm. Maybe if the whole group had a series of chakra-based connections, set to expire a few seconds apart? You seal the whole group, unseal the whole thing and the first connection expires, then you immediately reseal everything that's still connected. Maybe. Not sure, might just be impossible. Scrolls with more storage space? Yeah, that's doable. You see those sometimes, it's just usually easier if they're all standardized."

He read a little farther into the list and peered at the younger ninja. "You're really into storage scrolls, aren't you, kid?" It came out in much the same dubious tone one might use to say 'You're really into cats, aren't you?'

Hazou shrugged. "They're useful."

"Hn. Well, yeah, there's a lot of room to tweak. Different capacity, different time to unseal, different direction to unseal, don't see any problem with that. You're not going to get a stressless storage seal—people have been trying for centuries—but you could certainly amp up the stresses." He paused, head cocked in interest. "Civilian usable storage scrolls? Hm. Two tripwires, one to seal and the other to unseal. Hm." Possibilities spun before his eyes. If you could let civilians use seals then maybe they could become dangerous to ninja, which would draw down the scorch squads. Probably the lupchanz too...oh, and of course the sky squids. Yeah. Wherever the lupchanz showed up the sky squids would be right behind. He needed to remember to tell the team about the sky squids. Except maybe he shouldn't, because they would laugh at him just like everyone else had when he warned them. 'No such thing, Kagome.' 'Don't be silly, Kagome.' 'There goes Kagome; he's crazy, you know.' Bah. He'd show them crazy. Just wait until a slurp of sky squids showed up to eat their tasty brains. See who laughed then, wouldn't they? 'Oh, if only I'd listened to Kagome!' they'd say, but would he save them? No he would not! He'd just look at them and watch them getting their brains eaten and he'd laugh and laugh and laugh...well, no, actually, he'd be too busy running away so he didn't get his own brains eaten. Still, he could run and laugh at the same time, right? Well no, actually, that took too much breath and threw your stride off. Still. He could run and imagine laughing, right? And maybe—

Hazou cleared his throat.

"Huh? Oh, right, yeah. Um...yeah, don't see why not. You'd need to do it on a rigid surface, not just on the paper. Maybe on a board with two sticky-uppy bits to put the tripwire seals on? Yeah, that could work."

He skimmed farther on and then threw the paper away, scrambling backwards on all fours. "Are you crazy?! Chakra draining! Wait, of course you're crazy, you actually wanted to learn sealing you practically beat down my door what kind of a lunatic—"

"Sensei! Breathe, sensei!" Hazou said, raising his hands placatingly. "I'm not going to do it if you say it's dangerous."

Kagome froze, staring at Hazou like a person stares at a dog that might or might not be aggressive and might or might not have chakra-based super-rabies. "Oh," he said.

Slowly, he pushed himself upright and dusted off the seat of his pants—wet from the dew, annoyingly, and these were his clean pair so he had nothing to change into that wasn't stinky and you couldn't wear something stinky because the stinking stinkers would smell it and catch you and then it would be...no. Stop. Breathe. In, out. Imagine exhaling fear and stress, inhaling delicious redheaded strawberries and peaches. Once he had it under control he settled back onto his mat next to Hazou.

"Look, kid," he said. "First rule of storage: understand how you're setting the boundaries. You can seal a physical object because it's got clearly delineated boundaries. I can seal the air in a certain radius because 'radius' has meaning in physical space. Chakra doesn't have dimensions, and it's all connected. That's why the Sage gave it to everything in the first place—so that we'd all be connected. You start pulling on chakra, where does it stop? What if it grabs your chakra as well as whatever you're trying to drain? What if it ends up trying to seal all the chakra in the world? Plus, you need to contain it. It's fine to seal a specific amount of chakra that's bounded by something, like if you put chakra ink in a scroll. It's fine to infuse a lot of chakra into the seal in order to let it do something. You're talking about pulling an unspecified amount of chakra out of something that might or might not have that much. How would you build your containment if you didn't know how much you needed to confine? What if—"

The grouchy recital got smoother as Kagome warmed to his subject. The kid probably wouldn't take the lesson, but that was okay. There was a certain macabre joy in imagining all the potential failure modes. All the incredibly horrible ways that the universe hated people and regularly went out of its way to kill them. It was a horrible, horrible thing, the universe, but it wasn't going to get old Kagome. Oh no, he was much too wily. Much, much too wily. And by the everything important, he wasn't going to let it eat Hazou's brain either...although maybe it already had? That would explain a lot of the kid's hair-brained ideas. Maybe the universe actually had eaten Hazou's brain and replaced it with a giant ball of lint and hair.

Kagome kept laying out problems, slowly drifting into a general lecture on sealing theory. The whole time he eyed Hazou carefully, trying to measure by eye whether the kid moved his head in a way that more suggested it contained a big floating blob of mushy stuff or a giant mat of lard-covered hair.

Probably the hair, actually. Yeah, it would explain a lot. Curse you, universe! If only he'd gotten to the kid faster!

---

XP AWARD: 15

@Velorien will be writing the second half of this update. There will be no voting until then.

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 68: Sifting Through the Ashes
by @Velorien
​

After some searching, Hazō found Noburi sitting by the river, staring blankly into the water with one hand submerged in a disconcerting claw-like pose.

"Hi," Hazō said awkwardly.

Noburi nodded, the movement slight and largely concealed by his hunched-over posture. The aura of gloom around him was dense enough that he could probably have used it to channel Vampiric Mist.

Hazō had suspected this might happen. He'd thought about it, drawn up a couple of brief lists (they'd need to buy more paper soon), and finally decided that a comprehensive debriefing, to say nothing of deciding on long-term plans, wouldn't be on the cards while his teammates were immersed in their various kinds of unmistakeable unhappiness.

"Listen, Noburi," he began, "I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job back in Hot Springs."

Noburi looked up at him, eyebrows raised.

"You're the one who scanned Jōtarō's chakra and warned us that he was a jōnin."

"And a fat lot of good that did," Noburi muttered.

"It was essential!" Hazō exclaimed. "Can you imagine what would've happened if we'd gone up against Jōtarō in a straight fight? Or if Inoue-sensei hadn't known to disable him with genjutsu at the earliest opportunity?"

Noburi shrugged. "Point."

"And you're the one who disabled Yami quickly and quietly, giving us time to find the message before Jōtarō noticed something was wrong."

Noburi shrugged again. "Don't tell me Inoue-sensei couldn't have done the same with taijutsu. And it's not like finding the cypher made a difference."

Hazō felt a twinge of annoyance. "Saying that you shouldn't be praised for your accomplishments because things didn't work out in the end is like saying that nothing you do matters because eventually everyone's going to die anyway."

"Sounds about right to me," Noburi said, returning his gaze to the depths of the river. "I don't know why I'm even here."

Hazō fell silent. His contingencies list had not covered "existential angst". What did you say to a statement like that?

"You saved us," he eventually said. "If you hadn't kept our chakra up during our escape, we might not have made it out. That has to count for something."

"Exactly!" Noburi said, pointing a finger at him. "Wakahisa Noburi, the amazing chakra battery! All the things you're talking about, I've done thanks to my Bloodline Limit. Other than that, I'm interchangeable.

"Especially to her…" he added under his breath.

"You're not interchangeable," Hazō said with a quiet intensity. "You saved Akane. That medical knowledge? That was all you. Your individual skill. Nothing to do with being a Wakahisa."

Noburi blinked. "I… suppose it was."

He gave a faint smile. "Thanks, Hazō."

Hazō could see Noburi's spine straighten slightly.

Hazō sat down next to him, cross-legged so as not to get his feet into the water. "Do you want to talk about… what Keiko said?" he asked hesitantly.

Noburi gave him a wry look. "Why bother? It's not going to change anything. I mean, I always knew I didn't have a chance against Inoue-sensei, but I thought… you know, I thought if Keiko and I got to know each other better, if we kept getting closer, then maybe someday…"

He looked at the river, where a chakra-drained fish slowly floated past, the ghostly pallor of its white belly only exaggerated by the sunlight.

"But apparently I couldn't even have that. I guess we were never really friends. Just… what? Allies of convenience? Tools to make sure she survived to have her happily ever after with Inoue-sensei? I don't want to believe it, but we heard her loud and clear. That wasn't her normal voice, where she carefully picks out every word as if she's on trial and the sharks are already circling beneath her feet. That was straight from the heart. 'The only thing she still loves'."

Hazō listened silently. It wasn't like he had anything to say that would help, not when he himself couldn't stop Keiko's words from echoing in his mind. But at least maybe he could be there for Noburi by giving his friend a chance to vent.
​

-o-
​

"Inoue-sensei, can I talk to you for a second?"

Inoue-sensei's expression was sardonic. "Already doing your rounds, Hazō? Checking in with your team and managing their psychological states is important for a leader, but you do need to learn to be more subtle about it. Acting like you care about people only works if it doesn't look forced."

Hazō flinched.

"Sorry, Hazō," she said wearily after a second. "That wasn't fair. You're doing a great job for a thirteen-year-old. Honestly, you're doing my job. I should be grateful."

She reached out a hand to ruffle his hair. In a moment of horrified realisation, Hazō became aware that her hand was moving slowly enough for him to dodge. He felt like the ground was dropping out from beneath his feet.

He was frozen for only an instant, but that instant was enough for Inoue-sensei to reach him. She ruffled his hair with extra vigour, as if to make up for her brief lapse.

"Showing people your weakness is a great way of getting them off guard," Inoue-sensei said. "A free tip from me to you."

"Inoue-sensei," Hazō said reproachfully. "I did actually have something to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

"The self-sacrifice thing. All of us truly appreciate the fact that you're prepared to go that far for us – but please don't. We're just as willing to do the same for you, and that means trying to keep us safe at the cost of your own life isn't going to work. At worst, it might mean somebody with lower chances of survival than you ends up making the sacrificial move."

Inoue-sensei looked at him. "Hazō, if there was a kunai with an exploding tag flying at Noburi and he couldn't dodge, would you throw yourself in front of it?"

"I would," Hazō said, a little to his own surprise.

"Why?"

Hazō had to stop and think. It felt like the obvious answer, but speaking rationally, it didn't make much sense. He should have been assessing the situation in that hypothetical scenario, figuring out who had the better odds of survival and who was more necessary in order to preserve the team as a whole given the particular conditions involved. Making important decisions on instinct got people killed. It was one reason why the best shinobi were supposed to be the ones who killed their emotions.

Even so…

"Because he's my friend and my teammate," Hazō said, "and I'm responsible for keeping him safe."

Inoue-sensei nodded.

"I'm not suicidal, Hazō. I have a very fine will to live, one of the best. It's why we're not currently decomposing corpses in the Swamp of Death. But I'm also your leader, and I have a responsibility to all of you. If I'm the only one left standing at the end, it's not because I'm the best at staying alive. It's because I failed you.

"Besides," she added distantly, "it's too late for me anyway. I don't know if I'd survive being on my own anymore, in one sense or another."

"Inoue-sensei," Hazō said. "I know I can't talk you out of feeling this way. But at least please try harder to look for other options. We all want to support you if you'll let us. We've been training to react to changing circumstances without direct orders, and we can train harder. We can come up with tactics to help when you're locked into genjutsu. No, we will come up with them. Please help us help you. I don't ever want to see another situation where somebody nearly dies because we weren't prepared enough."

Unexpectedly, Inoue-sensei laughed. "The Academy instructors are morons. I can't believe they filed your profile in Category 7 when they should've been fast-tracking you to chūnin squad leader. You're passionate and intelligent and earnest, and it's only going to take a little bit of polish to turn that into irresistible charisma. Mark my words, little Hazō, in a couple of years the ladies are going to be all over you. I hope for Akane's sake that first girl wins."

Hazō gave her a relieved but also confused look. "I can tell that you're teasing me, Inoue-sensei, but apart from that I have no idea what you just said."

Inoue-sensei flicked her hand in the air dismissively. "Don't mind me. Just a private joke."

"Yes, well," Hazō took a second to get his mind back on track, "there was one other thing I wanted to discuss. About Keiko–"

"No."

The syllable was like a Multiple Earth Wall erupting in front of Hazō's face.

"I just wanted to–"

"No," Inoue-sensei repeated.

"Leave it. Just… leave it. You still have to talk to Akane, don't you?"

And with that, she turned away and began brushing her hair.
​

-o-
​

When Hazō reached Akane, she was sitting in the shade of one of the larger trees, methodically sewing up holes in her green spandex training suit.

"Oh, Hazō-sensei. Crazy couple of days, huh?"

"That's one way of putting it," Hazō agreed with more than a little incredulity.

"You've been a great help," he went on. "I wanted to make sure you knew that. Your stealth and trap-disabling skills really impressed me, and your taijutsu's coming along very well – I mean, none of us could deal with that second jōnin, but you definitely came closest."

"Stop it, Hazō-sensei," Akane laughed, "you're making me blush."

"But the thing with chakra exhaustion was stupid," Hazō brought her sharply down to earth.

He surprised himself with the emotions that began to flow out as he berated her. "Do you know how frightened I was when I thought you were going to die? What were you thinking? How are your teammates supposed to support you if you don't tell us in time that something is wrong?"

Akane's smile vanished. She swept her half-repaired suit to the side, and pivoted around into a posture of abject humility, her forehead touching the grass.

"I apologise, Hazō-sensei. I have shamed you as your apprentice. I promise it won't happen again. What should I do as penance?"

"Penance?" Hazō repeated. "I'm not asking for penance. Why would I even…? No, never mind." He tried to remember the right expression. "Um, please raise your head, Akane."

She did.

"I know you're trying hard, Akane," Hazō said patiently. "I respect that. But please don't try so hard that you end up killing yourself. There's nothing youthful about failing to respect your limits."

"Yes, Hazō-sensei."

They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"Hazō-sensei, I promise you, I will do better from now on. You don't have to keep looking at me with that worried expression."

Hazō hadn't realised that was what he'd been doing.

"Oh, sorry, Akane," he said. "It's not that. I was just thinking about Keiko. I keep wondering if she really meant–"

"Of course she didn't," Akane replied immediately.

"But she sounded so emphatic," Hazō said. "What if–"

"Hazō-sensei. People who are upset say things they don't mean all the time. Especially people who are in love.

"Which, by the way, I never saw coming. I thought she and Inoue-sensei just had one of those intense same-sex master-apprentice relationships.

"But my point is," Akane stood up, "you can't let your faith in her be shaken as soon as there's an incident like this. Hazō-sensei, you're my master in the art of youthfulness. What does the spirit of youth inside you have to say?"

Hazō had no idea. Whatever Akane thought, he wasn't the bearer of some special insight. Back in the Liberator's village, he'd said things to her because they needed to be said, in that place and at that time, but for the rest of it, he was nothing but a fraud, and he half-suspected that Akane knew that. Still, she was looking at him with those wide, hopeful brown eyes…

Hazō cleared his throat. "It is youthful to believe in one's friends, and to stand by them no matter what. Even if at times your friends hurt you, youthfulness is to treat that pain as the pain of hard work, and find new ways to deepen your friendship in the process of overcoming it.

"That's why," he added after a pause, in a slightly different voice, "we make the effort to communicate clearly with each other even when it's difficult and makes us feel vulnerable."

Akane beamed. "This is why you're my master. Even when you're not feeling youthful, you can still come out with wisdom that would awe even him."

Hazō tried hard not to squirm uncomfortably.

"So that's that," Akane said. "I don't for a second believe that Keiko meant her confession to come out the way it did. But even if she had…

"If you think your bonds are broken, then all you have to do is rebuild them. Or if you think they were never there, then build them for the first time. I believe in you, Hazō-sensei."

After a pause during which she studied his face, she took a step forwards.

"Would you like a hug?"
​

-o-
​

"Has the Polemarch responded to my request to be assigned to the front lines yet, Pandā?"

Pandā swept his tail nervously back and forth across the ground. "It hasn't even been ten days, Keiko. This is an important decision, you know? We've only got the one summoner, and if we lose you, we're going to be back where we started, only you're really cool so it'll be even worse than when Ui died. I hear the guy was a bit of a jerk.

"Anyway, I don't think he'll agree. No offence, but you're not really as tough as our stronger warriors, and as a summoner, you'll be way more useful to the clan out in the Human Path, gathering intelligence and setting forests on fire and stuff."

His summoner seemed to ignore this. "What about the other clans? Could I serve an allied clan on secondment?"

"I don't get it," Pandā said. "Weren't you supposed to come here to recruit new warriors, not be recruited? And weren't you supposed to go home after a day?"

"She sent me away," Keiko said flatly. "She literally put me at arm's length and then sent me away. If she'd truly meant for me to accomplish something in as little as a day, she would have given me specific instructions. Instead, she simply removed me from the group. I believe the message is quite clear."

"Come on, Keiko," Pandā said in his best stab at a reassuring voice. "I'm sure your matria— team leader wouldn't treat you that way. It's not like you've offended her or anything, right? Right?"

"She has to consider the good of the team," Keiko said. "And having a lovelorn teenager following her around is not good for the team."

Pandā's thought process ground to a halt.

"What do you...?"

"I never intended to tell her," Keiko told him. "I am not an idiot. I have always known that I was not good enough for her. She is radiant. She is everything I could hope to be and more. She saved me and never said a word about my debt. I am barely worthy to stand in her shadow."

"Keiko, I'm sure that's not—"

"I am under no illusions," Keiko spoke over him, her voice empty and cold. "I am no suitor to her, nor could I be. I am a child. I cannot even offer my body to her, never mind trying to impress her with qualities I do not possess.

"I kept telling myself that it was enough just to be by her side, and now I have lost even that. If I went back, all that would await me is either pity or contempt. She is all I had left, and now I have nothing. Why shouldn't I stay here forever?"

Pandā couldn't stand to hear Keiko's words. It was wrong, like having your scales groomed backwards only worse. His confident, brave, ingenious summoner couldn't be like this. And why couldn't he think of the right thing to say? Surely there was something he could come up with, if he was just a little bit smarter, that would make her feel better and help her fix her problems.

"What about the rest of your team?" he tried. "You are very important to them, and they would be very upset if you didn't come back."

"They are not my friends," Keiko said more quietly. "At first, I was too lost in myself to be interested in them. Later, I began to reach out, incompetently, and made progress only through their patience and inexplicable affection for me. But I do not have the kind of friendships with them that they have with each other, and now I never will. Such bonds as we had have been irreparably damaged by my failure to articulate my feelings. I could tell as much from the way they looked at me.

"Besides, now they know. And they have never seen her real self the way I have. How can they think it anything but pathetic that I fell in love with the first person to show me kindness in a time of need? Will they hate me? Will they look down on me? Will they be disgusted that I love somebody of the same gender? I do not want to find out."

Before she could go on, mercifully, there was a knock from above, and then a breathless courier rushed down to the first level of the Summoner's Burrow.

"A messenger from the Toad Clan just delivered this letter for the Pangolin Clan Summoner. She said it was urgent."

Keiko unfurled the letter, and scanned the contents. Her face took on a whitish colour that indicated blood flowing away from the brain, and thus either horror or arousal (Pandā couldn't remember which).

"What is it?" he asked neutrally.

"All of you are to come to the Three Pines Inn in Amanoshi, Rice, within the next three days.

No absences. No delays. No excuses.

J."
​

-o-
​

You have earned 12 XP.

You may make plans and vote as normal. However, the next update will not be based on your plan, but will probably be the mission post-mortem (prior to Keiko's return), or possibly an interlude if I am suddenly struck by great inspiration, so as to get @eaglejarl and me back to our usual Thursday/Sunday sequence.

Voting ends on Saturday, September 10th, 2016, at 12 pm Pacific Standard Time.​

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 68.2: Looking Back
by @Velorien
​

"Kids, Kagome, I think you know why I've gathered you here today," Inoue-sensei began.

"You want to do that failure analysis we've been putting off," Hazō said. "But Inoue-sensei, shouldn't we wait for Keiko to get back? I know she still hasn't come back, but she's our master analyst. It feels weird to do this without her."

"It's true. But the fact is, it shouldn't matter to us whether she's with us or not."

She registered the uncomfortable stares from the rest of the group.

"Sorry," she said quickly, "that came out wrong. What I meant is that we as a group need to learn to function without Keiko."

The stares didn't get any less uncomfortable.

"Agh, bad choice of words. What I'm trying to say is that we have to accept that we don't need Keiko in the first place.

"…I'll shut up now."

After a few seconds of deathly silence, Hazō spoke up in his most even voice.

"Inoue-sensei, are you trying to say that while Keiko's contribution to the analytical process is very valuable, we should practise doing the same without her because there may be times when she's unavailable or unable to participate for whatever reason, and we should recognise that at those times we will still be able to conduct an analysis with some level of success?"

"Yes!" Inoue-sensei cried with the desperation of a woman lunging for a piece of driftwood in a stormy sea. "Thank you, Hazō; I couldn't have put it better myself. Evidently."

Hazō noticed belatedly that he was now the focus of attention instead. "So," he said awkwardly, "I think the mission selection phase went well. We avoided getting involved in a potential clash with Wave forces which would definitely outnumber us on their home ground."

"Yeah," Noburi snorted, "and got our asses kicked by a bunch of jōnin and pissed off an entire village. Huge improvement."

Kagome-sensei made a "hmm" of agreement, but didn't say anything.

"Hey," Hazō said, slightly offended, "at least we didn't sign up with the Hydra Foundation."

Noburi considered this. "Point."

"The journey there was a complete success, though," Akane said. "We didn't attract any attention and we even beat that giant fish.

"What was that, by the way?" she asked, turning to Inoue-sensei.

Unexpectedly, it was Kagome-sensei who replied.

"It's called a megalodon. They're mostly bred as guards and beasts of burden by Hidden Depths. We were lucky this one was feral."

"Hidden Depths?"

Kagome-sensei gave Akane an impatient look. "The Village Hidden in the Depths. Masters of the Water Element. Holders of the Kraken Summoning Scroll. Former allies of Whirling Tides, before Depths stabbed them in the back and let the Elemental Nations finish the job. A-rank stinkers, even by hidden village standards."

"I've never heard of them."

Kagome-sensei's expression turned condescending. "Of course not, with all the cover-ups. But didn't you ever wonder why no expedition to look for other continents has ever come back? And that's not to mention—"

"Anyway!" Inoue-sensei said sharply. "Sorry to interrupt, but let's try to stay on topic. I think the info gathering phase was excellent. The division of labour worked really well. Special mention to Noburi and Akane for smooth teamwork, and to Kagome for great acting."

Kagome-sensei grunted. "Didn't really do anything."

Inoue-sensei shook her head. "I was very impressed with how well you did, especially given your lack of training. Your 'embarrassed pervert' act in Kamino was particularly inspired."

Kagome-sensei gazed down at the cave floor, carefully not meeting anyone's eyes.

Akane came to his rescue. "Hazō-sensei's diplomatic skills were amazing too. I've never heard anybody talk about how the Spirit of Youth applies to negotiation, but a perfect mutually beneficial exchange has to be as youthful as it gets. And to do it with a suspicious stranger who started out thinking you were trying to hurt her! I could never pull off something like that."

Hazō disagreed. "You've got great... charisma, Akane. I'm sure you could manage it."

He leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Besides, I had to use a flowchart."

Akane burst out laughing.

Inoue-sensei narrowed her eyes. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class, Mr Kurosawa?"

"It's nothing, sensei."

Inoue-sensei looked amused. "Ah, to be young again."

After a second, her expression went neutral again. "Actually, I take it back. My youth sucked. My advice to you kids is to grow up as fast as you can. Same demands, same mortality, but more power and freedom, plus all the sex and drink you can handle.

"Of course," she finished morosely, "more regrets as well."

Kagome-sensei gave what may have been an unconscious nod.

"Still, good job, Hazō," he said quietly.

Hazō felt a flicker of pride. Kagome-sensei didn't give out compliments casually.

"That Honami girl's probably doomed, though," Kagome-sensei went on. "She's the only one around to take the fall for an assassination in a DMZ. Where I'm from, for a civilian that would be summary execution as soon as the interrogation was finished."

Hazō's pride turned into excruciating guilt. It must have shown on his face enough for even Kagome-sensei to notice.

"Well," Kagome-sensei went on thoughtfully, "her parents are pretty important, so if they forgive the fact she betrayed them and get down on their knees and beg, she might get away with exile. Assuming Hot Springs doesn't find out about her kid."

"Where are you from, Kagome-sensei?" Hazō seized the rare opportunity for both revelation and urgent distraction.

"So. The important part," Kagome-sensei said after a second's tense silence. "First off, we were idiots for taking that mission without finding out more first. That's the kind of stupidity that gets you killed even before the hunter-nin can get a shot at you."

"In retrospect, hell yes," Inoue-sensei agreed. "That one's on me. We could have at least tried to get in touch with Jiraiya as well. His spy network might have known what was going on, and it wouldn't have hurt to check we weren't interfering with his interests either. Actually, we should probably check in with him soon anyway – we should be in his good books with the scroll, as valuable assets if nothing else. Maybe we can burn some of that goodwill to get him to help calm the hornets' nest we stirred up in Hot Springs, or at least point us to a safe place to hole up until we're in better shape and things quiet down."

That made sense. Hazō felt a little relieved that they were finally starting to make positive, forward-thinking plans as opposed to simply sitting around dwelling on their failures and worrying about Keiko on various levels. Maybe once they got the failure analysis over with, they could start a proper discussion on where to go from here.

"I think we should have made more of an effort to find out what a demilitarised zone was," he said, "and what its implications were for us. We didn't expect Jōtarō to be able to enlist the nearest ninja as instant backup, and Hot Springs's immediate and heavy response took us by surprise as well. I don't think it would have been as bad if we'd done the same thing in some random tourist location in the Water Country."

Inoue-sensei nodded. "Yes, that was embarrassing and nearly fatal. You could call that a big gap in our information gathering, and information is the most valuable thing when preparing for a mission. That's the most basic lesson you learn as a ninja."

Akane raised a hand. "Actually, Inoue-sensei, that's kunai safety. But maybe they do things differently in Mist."

This time, Inoue-sensei's sigh was genuine.

"Speaking of information failure," Inoue-sensei continued, "I screwed up with the spy. No point denying that. Having an external observer there should have been a red flag the size of the Mizukage's ego. What was so important about that mission that the client had to send a master spy to keep an eye on it? Because it sure wasn't us. And given he was a master spy, I shouldn't have taken him at his word no matter how convincing he sounded. I should have looked for some way to verify. He could've been working for anyone. And that 'anyone' probably knows a lot more about us now than I'd like."

"But that wasn't the worst part, was it?" Noburi spoke up for the first time in a while.

"No," Hazō said. "We had so many options we didn't consider. We could have tried to steal the objective while Jōtarō was in the bath. We could have waited for Jōtarō to leave on his next mission. We could have waited for Yami to take the civilians out of the resort and ambushed them out in the wild where there would be no one to call for help. We could have weighed the danger against the reward and decided to abandon the mission. Instead, it feels like we pounced on the first opportunity that occurred to us, and ended up facing a jōnin on his home ground. We even forgot he could call for backup."

Inoue-sensei cringed slightly.

"Not your fault, Inoue-sensei," Hazō hurriedly added. "I mean, it's not like any of the rest of us brought up the possibility that he could send clones for help while he stalled us."

"Anybody who forgets that there is a potentially hostile jōnin within the operations area deserves to die," Inoue-sensei said flatly. "No point dancing around that."

"There is no such thing as 'deserves to die'!" Akane jumped up, her fists tight and her eyes flashing. "You can't think like that, Inoue-sensei! There's no absolute law out there that says you have to be punished for every mistake, and you certainly can't punish a mistake with death! If you did, how would you ever learn to do better next time?"

Inoue-sensei directed an incredulous look at Akane. "Kid, are you sure you're a ninja?"

"I've got the forehead protector to prove it," Akane said fiercely. "And my way of the ninja is as good as anyone else's."

Akane and Inoue-sensei stared each other in the eye for what felt like an extremely long time. At first sight, it looked like any ordinary standoff, but at the same time Hazō's intuition told him there was more to it than a simple battle of wills. He just couldn't begin to say what.

In the end, it was Inoue-sensei who looked away.

Hazō briefly wondered where Akane got her forehead protector, given that she had never formally graduated, but decided it was a question for another time. Instead, he thought it was a good time to divert attention away from Inoue-sensei and her discomfort.

"This failure was no one person's fault," he said. "I should have drawn up better lists – you guys trust me to generate ideas, and if I had generated better ones at any point, all of this could have been avoided."

"I should have made use of all the rumours and stuff we'd gathered, and paid more attention to the people at the inn, both their chakra and their behaviour," Noburi said. "I even thought about getting access to the women's bath, which would have told me about that other jōnin, but then decided against it in the end.

"I'll know better next time," he joked half-heartedly. "What kind of man turns down a legitimate excuse to peep on girls?"

Hazō couldn't help thinking that Keiko would have something to say about that if she were here. Despite everything, he already missed her and her deadpan snarking.

"I let my guard down," Kagome-sensei said bitterly. "Of course the DMZ would be a trap filled with A-rank killers and highly-trained rapid response teams. What was I even thinking? I should've mined the whole resort before we ever went in, instead of sitting back and messing about with escape routes. One wrong move from the stinking stinkers and they should've been in burning pieces raining down on an area a mile wide, not beating us to a pulp and chasing us halfway across the continent."

"I was too passive," Akane completed the circle of self-flagellation. "You guys gave me things to do, and I did them, but a ninja is supposed to be more than a tool. I should have made more of an effort to contribute to the planning and come up with clever ideas instead of making you do all the hard work. And then the one time I didn't ask for instructions, I nearly killed myself."

"So," Inoue-sensei said wearily. "What have we learned?"

"We suck," Noburi responded.

"But we're going to get better," Akane said.

Hazō smiled. "And now we have a better idea of how."

"And despite everything we did wrong," Kagome-sensei concluded the analysis, "we are still alive."
​

-o-
​

You have gained 3 XP (most of the XP for this plan has already been awarded).
​

-o-
​

What next?

Voting ends on Saturday, September 10th, 2016, at 12 pm Pacific Standard Time.​

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 69: Difficult Conversations​

Kagome was on watch and it was, in the parlance of experienced field ninja, oh-my-god-it's-early.

Truth be told, he liked having the late-night watch. Oh, he still grumbled—tradition required it—but he liked the starlight, the quiet, and the feeling that he was contributing. The certain knowledge that nothing was going to sneak up on his friends without him blowing it to smithereens was pretty good too.

It was a beautiful night; the weather was crisp but not cold, the sky was cloudless, and the kami had hung a billion tiny lamps in the sky for him to marvel at. Sure, people called them 'stars' and said that they were holes in the dome of the sky, but he preferred to think that they were sentry fires put there by friendly kami so that he would have light with which to watch over his friends.

Things had been quiet for hours and he was actually feeling relaxed. The silence of the late night hours was broken only by the soft sounds of crickets, hunting foxes, and a faint poit from behind him as a ninja appeared in the middle of the camp.

He spun around fast, both hands coming up with ringboxes extended...only to see Keiko standing in a swiftly-dissipating cloud of purple smoke.

"Blood in the water," she said quickly, raising her hands placatingly.

Kagome's face split in a wide grin. "And games in the sand," he countersigned. "You're back! I was worried that the lupchanz got you!"

"Keiko!" Hazō said, emerging quickly from his tent moments faster than Noburi and Mari emerged from theirs. "Oh thank the kami, it's so good to see you. Are you all right?"

"Hey you," Mari said with a smile. "I'm glad you came back."

Noburi gave her a shallow nod. "Hey."

"It's good to see you again, Keiko," Akane said. She smiled mischieviously. "Given how delayed you have been, I feel justified in saying that having you back is most youthful."

Keiko looked at the ground, then forced herself to look up again. "I will not trouble you longer than necessary," she said. "I realize that the damage my stupidity and insensitivity have done to the team's dynamic is irreparable. I came back only because the pangolin have just received a message from the toads: Jiraiya wants to see us. He instructed all of us to be at the Three Pines Inn in Amanoshi, Rice, within the next three days. He said that no excuses or delays would be accepted." She offered a small scroll to Mari, looking at the ground in shame as she did.

Mari took the scroll with a frown and quickly scanned the contents. "No further details," she said. "Just that. Be at the inn within three days, no excuses." She rolled the scroll up and sighed. "Lovely. Well, we've got three days and more important things to do, so we won't worry about it right now."

Keiko blinked and looked at Mari incredulously. "More important than talking to Jiraiya?" she asked. "What could possibly be more important?"

"You," Mari said firmly. "You, Mori Keiko, are much more important to us than Jiraiya will ever be. I suspect that you are feeling hurt and possibly rejected, and that makes me unhappy. When we got here, I didn't handle things as well as I should have. I was tired and hungry and hurting—we all were—and I wanted to put off a difficult conversation for twenty-four hours until everyone was feeling better. I should have made it more clear that that was all I was doing." She paused, studying Keiko closely. "Are you okay, Keiko? You look tired, and you're thinner."

Keiko looked away. "I haven't been very hungry," she mumbled.

Mari laughed. "Well, we can fix that," she said. "And, because I want to welcome you back properly, I'll let someone else cook."

"Me!" Kagome said, jumping for the firepit. "I'll do it!" He fed the coals with a few shakes of wood until they grew into a small but cheery fire. One of the first things he'd done when they set up camp was verify that the brambles were thick enough to block firelight as long as they kept it small. It wasn't strictly necessary—he wasn't about to waste time on actually cooking—but fire was a great way to cheer people up. Keiko was miserable and obviously underfed; she needed tasty hot food and chocolate, and that's exactly what storage scrolls were for. When you lived in the woods one of the first things you learned was that Your Food Matters. He'd spent a good chunk of his time cooking the best meals possible, then sealing it away for times when he was feeling down, or forgot to eat, or got sick. Time to grab the good stuff.

Thirty seconds later, everyone was seated around the fire with a bowl of piping hot beef stew in their hands. The beef (well, sorta-cowlike-chakra-thingy meat) was tender and juicy, there were chunks of carrot, potato-ish, spices, herbs, and everything else tasty that he'd been able to scrounge up when he cooked it three years ago. Also, a lump of chocolate the size of Keiko's fist lay unwrapped in front of her.

The girl sat, staring blankly at the food, until Kagome started to fidget. "It's good," he said nervously. "I promise. No poison or anything. I can try it if you want. Or we can switch. Whatever you like. Would you like something else? I've got fish, or kinda-chicken, or—"

"It's fine," Keiko said quietly. "Thank you, Kagome. This is very kind of you." She still didn't eat any of it, instead continuing to stare blankly into the depths of the bowl as though it would allow her to divine the future.

"Try the chocolate at least," Kagome said. "It's good, really. Just the thing when you're feeling down. Something sweet to make—"

"Please eat something, Keiko," Mari said.

Keiko sighed and took a spoonful of the stew. A moment later she was eating as quickly as good manners allowed. Kagome beamed and everyone else started eating as well...except for Noburi, who hadn't bothered to wait.

Kagome shoveled food down as fast as he could, looking nervously back and forth between Hazō, Mari, and Keiko. Somebody needed to say something, and it really shouldn't be him. He'd botch it. Blow something up, seal it away, cut it in half with invisible blades? He was your man. Reassure a fragile young girl? Nope. It would be a disaster. Why wasn't anyone saying anything?!

Mari waited until Keiko had wrapped herself around most of the stew before slipping around the fire and kneeling seiza in front of her student. Keiko stared intently at her hands, knotted together in her lap and squeezed together until the knuckles were white.

"Keiko," Mari said gently, "please look at me."

Reluctantly, Keiko looked up.

"Keiko, what do you think happened before you left?" Mari asked.

Keiko swallowed. "I was stupid. I said things I shouldn't have and ruined everything." Her voice broke and she had to wipe her eyes. "I'm so sorry. Please, can we just go meet Jiraiya? I'll leave right afterwards, none of you will need to see me again."

"Keiko," Mari said, a warning snap in her voice. "Stop that. You are our friend and we would all be sad if you left."

Hazō, Kagome, and Akane nodded decisive agreement; Noburi looked aside grumpily. Keiko caught the movement.

"I am so sorry, Noburi," Keiko said. "I didn't mean to—"

"Whatever." Noburi got to his feet and ducked back into his tent. Keiko looked like she'd been slapped.

Mari sighed. "He'll get over it," she said quietly. "He was hurt and he's angry, but he cares about you too much to stay mad forever."

"Why would he care?" Keiko said. "I was thoughtless and—

"Exactly," Akane said. "You were thoughtless, not cruel. You spoke without thinking and said something hurtful, but you didn't actually mean what you said. Everyone does this, Keiko. Please, forgive yourself and allow us to forgive you."

Kagome bit down firmly on his tongue to keep himself from saying anything. The last thing the group needed was for him to trample through the conversation like a big dumb bull. Surely she'd listen to Akane, though? Akane couldn't lie to save her life and wore her heart on her sleeve; surely Keiko would see that she meant what she said?

"She's right, Keiko," Mari said. "I know it and you know it."

Keiko looked down again, letting her bangs cover her face. "Stupid," she muttered. "Stupid child. All I do is mess things up. Everything I say is wrong. I can't talk to anyone without offending them."

"Keiko," Hazō said, "You and I have spoken of clear communication and what it feels like to talk to normal people. When we had that conversation, did you offend me?"

"...No," Keiko admitted.

"All right then," Hazō said. "Then let me speak clearly: it would make me unhappy if you left. I'm extremely relieved to see you unhurt and, out of respect for your discomfort with physical affection, I am refraining from hugging you. However, if you ever disappear like that again, I will not be so restrained next time. Understood?"

Keiko looked at him as though he'd grown a second head. "Why would it bother you?" she asked, sounding like a lost child. "I offer nothing and whenever I open my mouth I stab my own foot."

"Keiko," Mari said. "That is simply not true. Have you ever said the wrong thing? Yes. So have I, so has Hazō, so has everyone."

"Me too!" Kagome said, nodding furiously. "I say the wrong thing all the time! Big ol' wrong-thing-sayer, that's me. Always putting my foot in it. That's part of why people used to say I was crazy."

Mari laughed, a clear bell-like sound that had nothing of meanness or mockery in it. Somehow, that laugh made Kagome feel like he'd said something right for once.

"See?" Mari asked. "Everyone puts their foot in it sometimes. I know that you think this is the end of the world, but it's really not. I promise, embarrassment is never fatal. Good friendships can weather a great many missteps." She chuckled ruefully. "I should know. I've made enough of them."

Keiko looked up in shock. "You, sensei? But...."

Mari laughed again. "But what?" she asked. "You think I was always a paragon of confidence and smoothness?" She shook her head ruefully. "I studied to be able to talk to people, Keiko. For years, with not one but several masters. You should have seen me when I was your age. My best friend was a girl named Sumire; it seemed like every week I did something wrong, but she always forgave me." She looked back into her memories, ticking points off on delicate fingers. "For her sixth birthday she got a new dress—green, with some red on the neckline. She was so proud of it, and she asked me what I thought. I told her it made her look like a frog with its throat cut." She shrugged. "I was trying to be funny, but she didn't talk to me for a week. I apologized every day until she forgave me, and a week later we were sneaking out to the orchard to climb trees just like we always had. A few years later we both tried out for the Academy. I got in and she didn't. I said 'that's okay, Sumi—I still like you even though you're not good enough to be a ninja.'"

Keiko's eyes widened in shock.

Mari smiled, shaking her head in bemusement. "Yeah. Like I said, I had to literally study how to not offend people."

Keiko swallowed hard. "But...I...I said that...." She trailed off and looked around vaguely as though she'd set the words down somewhere but couldn't remember where. After a moment she looked down at her hands, shoulders hunching in. "Stupid child," she muttered.

"No you're not!" Kagome said, the words bursting out before he could stuff them back down. "You learned how to be a summoner, you can't be stupid!"

Keiko looked over, her face twisting up with self-loathing. "Yes," she said. "The great Pangolin Summoner. One of the first things I did was to insult the Polemarch. Pankurashun practically threw me out of his office for wasting his time until I admitted what a worthless coward I am. The Naraka Rollers recognized me for what I am and laughed in my face."

"Keiko, stop!" Akane said sharply. "This is false, and you know it. You are deliberately looking for the worst and twisting the good into bad. I was not there for those conversations, yet I know them better than you: you convinced the Polemarch to let you be the Summoner. You convinced Pankurashun to do something he has not done in hundreds of years. He is a senior drill instructor in a formal military, and you convinced him to do something outside of the normal regulations. You are not a coward, and you are not stupid! You are my friend, and I will defend my friends against anyone—even themselves!"

Keiko stared at Akane, dumbfounded.

"She's right, Keiko," Mari said. "You're wallowing." She put her thumb and finger a smidge apart. "A little bit. Just a little wallowing."

"I am not!" Keiko said, glaring at her for a moment before realizing what she was doing and covering her mouth in shock.

Mari laughed. "There we go, that's better. Now, let's hit the important part again: you are important to us, and you are not allowed to leave."

"Sensei...," Keiko said. "I don't...I can't...." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Sensei...after what I said to you...."

Mari paused and looked speculatively at the others, clearly wondering if she should send them away. Shaking her head slightly in decision, she turned back to her student.

"Keiko," she said gently. "It's very common for genin to develop a crush on their jōnin-sensei. I know I did. Nao-sensei was beautiful, and skilled, and everything I wanted to be. I worshipped the ground she walked on and I was terrified that she would notice. I felt like such an idiot for it; I was too young for her, too new, and I felt like I had nothing to offer." She snorted ruefully. "I told one of my squad mates in confidence. She blabbed it out at dinner that night, right in front of sensei."

Keiko stared at Mari in fascinated horror.

Mari was looking aside, eyes unfocused as she relived the memory. "I remember wishing that I were earth-aspected so that I could invent a jutsu that would make the earth swallow me up. I got up and ran out of camp. When sensei caught up to me I was debating whether it would be better to become a missing-nin or resign my commission and become a farmer's wife somewhere as far from Mist as possible."

"Resign your commission?!" Keiko gasped. "You can't resign! No one resigns!"

"No, they don't," Mari said, smiling. "Because the Mizukage isn't about to let someone with ninja training stop being a ninja. I was young and stupid, though. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"But...."

"Apparently there are people in this conversation who are smarter than I was at their age," Mari said with a self-deprecating laugh. "Anyway. Nao-sensei caught up to me, and she told me what I'm telling you now. She told me that she had had a crush on her jōnin-sensei, and that she was pretty sure that her jōnin-sensei had had one on her jōnin-sensei, and that I was upholding a long and proud tradition. And then she told me the big secret."

Keiko looked at Mari with narrowed eyes, suspecting a trap. "Which is...?"

Mari shrugged. "That love is complicated. That it isn't always where you think it is. That the first time you fall in love it feels like all the world hangs in the balance, but years later you'll look back and realize that it wasn't real. That no matter how much you think you've found The One, you'll fall in love many times over the course of your life. That some of the people you will love won't be 'suitable', especially if you're a clan kid, but it's okay to love them anyway. That being a ninja makes everything harder, but it's worth it.

"And now I'm going to tell you the last thing she told me that night," Mari said. "She said that I was a smart, beautiful, talented girl, and that she was so proud to have me as a student that she felt like she could burst. That she was flattered to know my feelings for her, and honored to be my first romantic interest. That she did not return my feelings, but she looked forward to the day when she could stand beside me at my wedding. Once I found my One, of course." She gave her student a bawdy wink. "And then she asked if she could help me find that person, and started quizzing me on what I wanted. Tall? Short? Male? Female? She started suggesting candidates and offered to abduct some of them, line them up, and parade them in front of me so I could make a selection."

Keiko choked. The darkness and flickering firelight made it hard to tell, but Kagome was pretty sure the air was about to ignite around her from the depth of her blush.

Mari sat back and stroked her chin, face furrowed in thought. "I'm pretty sure she was kidding, but now that I think about it...hmmmmm." She eyed Keiko speculatively. "We're going to be going into town anyway...couldn't hurt to shop around a little...."

"Sensei!" Keiko gasped. "Please tell me you're joking!"

Mari laughed and rocked her hand back and forth. "Weeeelllll...mostly. Anyway, think about it."

Keiko gulped.

"Good," Mari said. "Horrified and a little curious. That's a much better look on you than angsty and miserable."

"I am not curious!" Keiko said.

Mari's eyebrows went up. "Not even a little? Huh. You're a better person than I was when Nao-sensei made the offer to me." She chuckled. "Well, the offer's open. Now"—she slapped her hands on her thighs like a judge rapping her gavel—"I have to admit that I'm tired. I don't want you to feel abandoned, but would it be all right if we continued this in the morning?"

"Of course," Keiko said.

"Thanks," Mari said with a grateful smile. "We've kept your tent set up and waiting for you. I'm really glad you came back." She rolled up to her feet and looked around. "The rest of you should pack it in too. Tomorrow isn't far off, and when it gets here we'll need to figure out what to do about Jiraiya."

o-o-o-o​

When tomorrow came, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Noburi was monosyllabic and refused to look at Keiko. Kagome was terrified of saying the wrong thing so he confined himself to grunts, pleading looks, and repeatedly pressing food and chocolate on Keiko. Hazō was cautious and uncertain. Akane was her usual sunbeam self, but sensitive enough to not be too blatant about it. Mari, of course, knew exactly the right things to say and pulled everyone out of their shell with the easy confidence that Kagome found so enviable.

Mari insisted that everyone bathe, eat, and clean up before talking about anything serious. Keiko urged her not to wait but Mari shook her head (making all that gorgeous firey hair sway like a silk curtain) and pointed out that they had three days and could spare a couple of hours to get themselves in optimal mental condition.

Once they got down to actual planning, it didn't take long to figure out what to do about Jiraiya: go to the meeting without delay. Well, not much delay—there was time for lots and lots of discussion about what to do once they arrived, packing, traveling at a reasonable pace, setting up some escape routes when they got there....

"What's the point in setting up escape paths, sensei?" Hazō asked, carefully not looking at Keiko. "It's not like anything we could do would stop Jiraiya. If he wants us dead we'll be dead."

"There might be threats other than Jiraiya in the vicinity," Keiko said. "It is strictly better to have an escape route that we do not need than to need it and not have it."

"Oh," Hazō said. "Yeah, good point."

Spoiler: Dice

Hazō, Deception:
12d100: 537

Keiko, Deception:
10d100: 662

"Thank you for offering me the opportunity to seem insightful, Hazō," Keiko said drily. "It was very thoughtful of you. Condescending, but thoughtful."

Hazō laughed ruefully. "Busted."

Keiko eyed him carefully. "You are usually a better liar than that," she said. "Did you deliberately let me catch you letting me be insightful just so that I could feel clever for catching you letting me be insightful so that I would once again identify with my role as plan checker for the team?"

Mari's hand shot up. "Objection! That sentence should be taken outside and shot on charges of torturing grammar!"

Kagome and Akane laughed.

Noburi looked sour.

o-o-o-o​

Spoiler: Dice

Chances of hitting a Fire border patrol says:
?d100: ?

Chances of hitting a Rice border patrol says:
?d100: ?

Chances of some general disaster, random chakra monster, or Cthulhu says:
?d100: ?

Everyone rolled their eyes when Hazō brought out the 'How to Cross Borders Safely' list that he'd been working on. Still, they followed the list and for once the border crossing was easy. Either the precautions worked and their pursuers lost the trail or there were no pursuers in the first place. Either way, they made it into Rice without difficulty. The most difficult part of the trip was finding someone who could tell them how to get to Amanoshi. The most stressful part was finding the Three Pines Inn in a town that was potentially hosting an unknown number of 'surprisingly competent' ex-missing-nin and definitely hosting a probably-angry Jiraiya. Still, stressful or not, they found it. At four o'clock the day after receiving the message they walked into the building where they were almost certainly going to be torn apart by slimy toads.

The Three Pines Inn was two stories and surprisingly spacious inside, since the building was significantly longer than it was wide. The outer room was a tavern full of trestle tables with smooth-polished tops and an eclectic mix of chairs that somehow blended into an attractive whole. A tall woman stood behind the bar in the back, shuttling food from the kitchen pass to the counter where a pair of waitresses bustled it out to the customers. A narrow hallway along the right side of the room led past a set of stairs to the second floor and on through a curtain.

Kagome felt an entire slime of chakra worms crawl up his spine when he stepped into the half-full room. Too many people, and there was no way to know which of the stinkers might be an enemy ninja, or a lupchanz puppet, or an off-duty clown. It was completely unfair—he only had two eyes! There was no way he could be expected to watch all the possible threats that surrounded them! Sure, the team was henged, but that wouldn't mean anything if one of these oh-so-casual diners was actually a disguised Hyūga, or an Uchiha, or a chakravore, or a soul-eating gaki, or—

Mari, currently henged into a late-teens farmboy, set a calloused hand on his wrist before he could slip on his ringboxes. He shot her a betrayed glare but she just grinned at him and shook her head. His glare got more sour, but he reluctantly brought empty hands out of his pockets.

His discomfort got even stronger as they moved up to the bar in a group. It would have been more discreet to come in as pairs, but Mari had decided that sticking together made more sense. They wanted Jiraiya to find them, and six people showing up together would be notable enough for the word to get back to him quickly if he was watching for it.

"Excuse me," Mari said to the woman behind the counter. "I'm Katsurou; my friends and I were supposed to meet someone here. Solidly-build older man, white hair? Work's been hard to find lately, and he implied he might have a job."

The woman's eyes flicked across the group and she nodded. "He and his friends are having lunch in one of the private dining rooms," she said, gesturing to the hallway. "Down the hall, first door on the right."

Mari bowed. "Thank you very much." She turned and headed for the hallway, walking casually. Kagome followed along, turning so that he was walking backwards and able to keep an eye on the room. He hadn't turned more than a quarter of the way before both his elbows were grabbed and he was forcibly turned to face forward. He yelped and struggled for a moment before realizing that it was just Hazō and Akane.

"It's all right, Kagome," Akane said, smiling happily the way she always did because she was a good person and why in the hell had someone that bright and cheery become a ninja? Couldn't she have done something sensible that wouldn't turn her into someone like him? Maybe be a healer. She would make a great healer.

"It's all right," she repeated quietly. "Really. Your concern is most youthful, but it's all right. Better to not attract attention."

Kagome grumbled but didn't say anything.

It was only a few steps down the hall to the private room. Mari pushed the door open carefully and paused before stepping inside. The others followed her in warily.

The room was large, six meters on the long side and four wide. A long table made of sweet-smelling cedar filled most of it, kneeling cushions packed around the edges. The detritus of a hearty lunch was strewn across the surface—a pile of mostly-empty plates and multiple pots of tea.

At the far end of the table sat Jiraiya. The Toad Summoner, the Sage, the spymaster, one of the most lethal ninja alive and, right now, absolutely the most dangerous man in the Elemental Nations.

He wasn't alone.

To his right sat a young man with pupilless white eyes and veins bulging around his temples. To his left sat a twenty-something woman whose eyes regarded Kagome with a calm appraisal that made him feel as though his very soul were being laid bare and judged lacking.

"Sit down," Jiraiya said flatly.

Silently the group took up places at the near end of the table. Mari sat at the end, facing Jiraiya, the others spreading out around her along the sides.

"Drop the henges."

Kagome swallowed, feeling sweat prickle across his brow. Show his true face to the enemy? Never! It was insane! They—

The teenage farmboy melted into a beautiful fire-haired woman; one by one, the others followed. Kagome watched it in horror. They couldn't reveal themselves! The only slim protection they still had was that the enemy didn't know their real faces...oh. Wait. The others had met Jiraiya before, and he'd beaten them physically. He already knew what they looked like.

Mari, perceptive as always, must have understood his thoughts. She gave him a reassuring look and a nod. "It's all right," she said. "Go ahead."

Kagome looked sour, but his fifty-something disguise dissolved into a shifty-looking thirty-year-old with blonde hair and a small scar on his neck.

"Your skill with henge is excellent," the white-eyed man said. "Perhaps you could demonstrate your skill at releasing the new one?"

Kagome glared at the stinking rat bastard stinker with his stinking cheating bullshit eyes, but he dropped the henge.

Jiraiya picked up his teacup and slurped delicately, never looking away from Mari. The look was not lecherous in the least.

With exquisite precision, he set the cup back on its saucer.

"A few weeks ago, I received a fascinating report from one of my agents," he said calmly. "A very dangerous seal mistress named Arikada Sugako had been located. She's a mercenary missing-nin, and for the past few years she's been working for one of Leaf's enemies. For that entire time, her location has been a closely guarded secret. My informant had obtained advance notice of where and when Arikada could be found. She managed to get a message out, saying that she would reveal the information if and only if I arranged for the extraction of herself and her son. I sent a jōnin to bring them out."

A hand made of of pure freezing eldritch horror took a light grip on Kagome's heart.

"He made the extraction and was escorting her and her son home through Hot Springs."

The hand's grip tightened, squeezing all the air out of Kagome's chest. His eyes flicked around the room desperately. Jiraiya and his friends were between the team and the outside wall, so they'd need to go back through the main room to escape. A shaped charge to make a hole, keep blasting so they could move in a straight line. Drop an implosion bomb behind them, maybe one of the grapeseed bombs. He had three stupid boxes on him, those would be really effective inside the wooden inn.

"They were stopping for the night at an inn in Hot Springs, where the jōnin was supposed to hand her off to another agent who could handle their relocation. Unfortunately, they were attacked by a team of enemy ninja."

As subtly as possible, Kagome slid his hand behind his back, reaching for the scroll that was tucked into his belt.

The white-eyed man's head turned to face him. One eyebrow rose. Kagome put his hand back in his lap, not even bothering to stifle the snarl.

Jiraiya went on as though he hadn't noticed the byplay. "A few interesting things about this team." He paused to take another sip of tea. "The reports I got from the survivor of the fight said that one of them was a ranged fighter who threw kunai. One of them used a Water Whip jutsu and carried a barrel on his back. One of them used genjutsu. Two of them, both young, fought with chunin-level taijutsu. Oh and, surprisingly, one of the taijutsu fighters—the boy—knew an Earth Wall jutsu."

His eyes locked on Hazō. Without looking, the Toad Sage picked up the teapot and refilled his cup.

He set the teapot delicately back on its trivet, not looking away from the terrified genin.

He lifted the teacup and took a sip, then replaced the cup on its saucer and folded his hands.

"Now, when I heard all this, I started thinking. I asked myself if I knew of anyone who might fit these descriptions. I thought and thought, weighing every possibility, scrounging through every resource I had. Eventually, an idea came to me of who it might have been."

"It was us," Mari said calmly. "We took a mission from someone in Tea. He told us that he wanted some information retrieved and gave us a time frame and a location. We went into the room to retrieve what we thought was a scroll. Joutarou caught us. We tried to talk our way out, but he called for backup. We were in a small room facing two close-quarters combat-specialized jōnin, so I opted for a first strike. During our post-mission analysis my team expressed disapproval with this choice—"

Spoiler: Dice

Kagome, Diplomacy (keep your mouth shut when your team leader is trying to save your butt at the cost of her own):
?d100: 74

Not being an idiot:
?d100: 100

"No we didn't!" Kagome burst out. "We all thought it was totally the right thing to do! I mean, sure, better to have killed them once they'd left the inn, but given the situation it was...the...right...oops." He shrunk in on himself as eight pairs of eyes locked on him, five of them reproachful.

Mari sighed. "There may have been less disagreement about that point than I remember," she allowed. "In any case, before we go any further, I would like to introduce the last member of our team: Pandā, our liasion to the Pangolin Clan." She waited until Jiraiya gave a millimetric nod, then gestured to Keiko.

Keiko hadn't been entirely comfortable with the idea when Hazō had suggested it, but substantial discussion had convinced her. She nicked her finger on a kunai and touched the blood to the ground. "Summoning Technique: Pandā," she said.

There was a purple flash and Pandā appeared in all of his three-foot glory. He was dressed in formal military uniform: metal claws over his own, a set of lorricated spiked armor across his back, and carefully applied paint on his chest and face. His claws were already interlaced when he arrived.

"Hi!" he said, bowing quickly to Jiraiya. "You must be Jiraiya of the Toads, right? It's a great honor to meet you, sir. Your Sageness, sir. Uh, Summoner Jiraiya. Um."

"I am honored to make your acquiantance, son of my Clan's ally," Jiraiya said gravely. "I wish it were under better circumstances."

"Oh. Um." Pandā looked nervously back and forth between Keiko and Jiraiya. "You're not going to hurt Keiko, are you sir? Because if you did I'd have to fight you. I'd really rather not, if that's all right."

"Let's see how things go, shall we?" Jiraiya said politely. "Please, won't you join us?" He gestured to the cushion next to Keiko.

Pandā looked at the cushion and winced. He tried to kneel but his tail lacked the flexibility to allow that. He brought it around between his legs and tried to sit, but that left him essentially a hemisphere and he promptly started to roll backwards. Keiko solved the problem by grabbing a pillow and wedging it under the corner of the table so he could sit semi-rolled up with the cushion keeping him upright.

Once the pangolin was settled, Mari spoke up again. "If I may, we have quite a lot of information that might be useful to you. May I report?"

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow but gestured for her to go ahead.

"First, after our prior conversation with you we set out for Tea. We considered several routes and decided on one that took us through Rain, as it would keep us out of Fire as much as possible. We crossed the border and immediately ran into a rainstorm that was infused with chakra. It may have been nothing, but it might be worth investigating."

Mari paused to gather herself, seeming uncomfortable. She took an extra-deep breath (Kagome's eyes bugged out just a little) before continuing in an admirably dispassionate tone. "I instructed the team to break back across the border into Fire and wash the water off as quickly as possible. While bathing we were ambushed by a border patrol from Fire. I engaged and defeated the patrol while the rest of the team was still in the river. I will note that I felt it better to conceal this information, but my students have convinced me that complete transparency is more...youthful." The word drew a quiet snort came from the black-haired kunoichi on Jiraiya's left.

"We have the bodies in storage scrolls," Mari continued. "We would like to return them so that their families can have closure." Her face flickered with sadness. "On behalf of both myself and my team, I offer our sincerest apologies. I really wish it hadn't been necessary, but we're missing-nin. Not through any fault of our own—we were sent on a suicide mission and we ran. It turned out later that the 'suicide' part of the mission was a trick by our leader, but it was still the extent of our knowledge at the time." She looked at Jiraiya hopefully. "I note that if there were a way for us to come in out of the cold we'd take it in a flash and be the most loyal ninja you'd ever seen. We didn't—don't—want this life."

Spoiler: Dice

Mari, Deception:
?d100: 1030Goddamnit, Mari. For the love of God, could you roll average once?

Unknown Leaf ninja, Deception:
?d100: 1422

The Leaf kunoichi smiled. "An obvious attempt to paint yourselves as unfairly wronged, concealing a discreet opening bid to anchor future negotiations at a very high level such that it will seem more reasonable for us to simply let you go. Combined with a trace of sexuality and the earlier not-very subtle reminder that a member of your team is the summoner of a clan allied to Jiraiya's, all carefully calculated to set our expectations of what level you play at. Well done."

Mari shrugged and smiled unrepentantly. "Can't blame a girl for trying."

"Actually, I can," Jiraiya said. "Continue."

"Yes sir," Mari said. "After that we proceeded to Tea. After some investigation we located the Pangolin contract. The contract had a guardian that I believe will be of strategic interest to Leaf, but requested that we wait for a year before disclosing any relevant information. I note that honoring that request might make for easier negotiations in the future, but we are prepared to take whichever course you prefer—either make a full report now, or keep the information confidential until the expiration date."

Jiraiya flicked one hand dismissively. "Decision for later. Continue."

Was the Toad Sage sounding very slightly less angry? Kagome cursed inwardly. Why couldn't he be better with this people stuff? Why couldn't people be more like seals—comprehensible and straightforward. Oh sure, seals would melt your face off if you did anything even slightly wrong, which was actually pretty much like people now that he thought about it, but at least they wouldn't lie to you about what they were or actively conceal their nature. Once you had a seal figured out it was reliable as long as you were reliable yourself and didn't screw up while drawing it or infusing it. Not like people. People would lie about being your friend, and stab you in the back, and laugh at you for reasons that never made any sense.

"After retrieving the scroll we sent a message to you through the pangolins," Mari said. "While we waited to hear back we took on what we thought was a simple mission to retrieve some information from Hot Springs. Based on our initial assessment it sounded like it would be a straightforward C-rank mission—useful for teambuilding with a little actual field experience but minimal danger.

"The mission obviously did not go the way we intended. In our after action report we identified that our primary mistake was that we were too focused on completing it and thus we hurried. We had made contact with Honami, the daughter of the resort's owners, and had arranged what would likely have been a profitable trade contract. We should have waited until our targets had left the resort instead of taking a chance on engaging Joutarou indoors.

"Please note," Mari said, "I approached Joutarou in disguise and gave him the 'Princess Genchi' recognition code that you gave us. On the off chance that Joutarou was actually you in disguise I also used the 'lingerie' code word."

The Leaf Kunoichi glanced at Jiraiya with a raised eyebrow. Mari took notice but said nothing, opting instead to continue the report.

"He responded to neither of those words, so I assumed he was not a member of your network," she said. "Had I known that he was I would have approached him more openly. As I said, we now realize that we should have waited until they left the resort to engage, but at the time we felt the risk was acceptable. As far as we knew we were going to sneak into a room occupied only by a pair of civilians—"

Jiraiya interrupted. "Joutarou was not in the room with them?"

Mari shook her head. In response Jiraiya's irritated head-shake she said, "At one point I observed him commenting that the two were extremely annoying, and your other agent was in the room with them. He didn't leave his post."

Jiraiya sighed. "Continue."

"We entered the room at night. I entered first. Yami was sleeping under the window and engaged me as I came in. We disabled him without injury and then likewise disabled the civilians. We began to search the room, which is when we noticed the tattoos on the boy."

"Tattoos?"

"Yes. Symbols, not kanji, but examination strongly suggested that they were a cipher. We have the first third of the ciphertext and will hand it over after this briefing. We do not have the key or the plaintext; during my original observation Joutarou said to Yami that 'she hasn't given me the key'. I am assuming he was referring to the cipher key."

The Hyūga's eyebrows shot up and he looked at the impassive Jiraiya. "Sir, maybe—"

"I'm aware," said his leader. "Inoue, continue with your report."

Mari shrugged. "There's not much more to tell, sir. Joutarou caught us. I tried to keep him busy and get my team out the window, but he told us that he would engage if we tried to escape. We had a five-to-one advantage and he had no idea of our capabilities, so I felt that negotiation was still possible. On the other hand I felt confident that he could catch my students if we simply blew a hole in the wall and tried to run. Furthermore, our goals were not necessarily opposed—he was clearly escorting the man and woman, and all we wanted was the information."

Jiraiya snorted. "Really? You didn't think that maybe the reason he was escorting the two was because of the information?"

"Yes, I did. It was certainly the most likely possibility, but it wasn't impossible that we could find an alternate solution. Regardless, the options were talk or fight and I didn't want to fight if we didn't have to. All things considered, trying to talk our way out of it seemed like the best option. It also gave us time to copy off as much of the cipher as we had time for, which is why we're able to give you at least part of what you wanted."

"Of course, if you hadn't interfered I would have had all of it," Jiraiya said.

"With respect, sir," Mari said boldly, "I have already acknowledged our mistake and the reasoning behind it. We made the best choice we could at the time and I will not apologize."

Jiraiya stared at her for a moment, then laughed. "Big brass ovaries on you, girl. Okay, keep going."

"When the fight started, I trapped Joutarou with a non-lethal genjutsu. It was my hope that my team could hold off Komori—the Iwa jōnin that Joutarou called for backup—until I could disable Joutarou. That proved infeasible, but we were able to conclude the fight without killing Komori."

"You're expecting credit for killing my agent instead of a jōnin from a foreign power?"

Mari shrugged. "Sir, we did the best could to fight non-lethally. Against the opposition we faced that was not an option. In any case, we escaped and temporarily evaded pursuit. A Hot Springs team managed to catch up with us at the same time that we detected a Leaf patrol coming from the other direction. Six on four we could almost certainly have destroyed the patrol. We opted instead to fake our own deaths, evade, and find a place to hide until things calmed down and we could leave your AO for Iron.

"In short, sir, we followed the directions you gave us to Tea, where we obtained valuable strategic information and a summoning contract from a powerful clan allied to the Toad Clan. Once we had done so we immediately sent a message to you by the only secure method we had. While waiting for a response we took what sounded like a C-rank training mission that turned out to be more complicated than expected. We identified ourselves to Joutarou using the code word you gave us. We made repeated efforts to avoid fighting. When we were forced to fight we attempted to use non-lethal methods before being forced into other options. We evaded pursuit instead of fighting, although eliminating the Leaf patrol would have punched a hole in the border and made our escape far easier. We made a mistake by not waiting until later to complete the mission, but aside from that I feel that we behaved in an exemplary fashion. This concludes my report."

Jiraiya stared at her for a moment, then sighed and scrubbed one hand across his face in frustration. "Black, what's your assessment?" he asked, turning to the kunoichi beside him.

The kunoichi shrugged. "She's spinning it harder than a juggler's plate, but I saw no actual signs of deception aside from trying to shield her team by taking responsibility. That one"—she pointed at Kagome—"can't keep a secret to save his life and he didn't seem to doubt any of her statements. There might be something she's not telling, but I'd need a closer look to be sure."

Jiraiya nodded thoughtfully, staring at his teacup for a moment. "Okay," he said. "Show me the cipher. If it's useful enough I'll have Black scan you. If you're playing straight, we can talk about the future."

Kagome's eyes widened at the words. 'Scan you' from a Leaf nin! Holy crapballs, that had to be a Yamanka! She was going to rip his mind apart—rip his team's minds apart and put them back together sideways to make them slaves of the Leaf!

He leaped to his feet, grabbing explosive disks from his belt with both hands and hurling them towards the evil mind-ripper and her horrible evil stinking ninja Leaf-nin while shouting for his friends to run, run fast, he'd cover them—

He hadn't actually managed to move a muscle before Mari's hand clamped down on his arm, stopping him cold.

"Be calm," she said. "We're not going to fight our way out of this."

"But—!"

"Calm," she insisted.

"I promise you will not be hurt, sir," the stinking Yamanaka mind-crushing stinker said. "Contrary to popular belief, my clan can only read minds, not forcibly change them."

"Liar!" Kagome said. "You're lying, you stinking stinker! You'll never get me! I swear, I won't let you hurt my friends, I'll—"

Warm hands on his chin turned his head, forcing him to look into sea-green eyes that were full of soft smiles and happiness where everything was calm and peaceful and there were no threats because the world was kind and good and all the stinking evil stinking ninja stinkers were sprayed over the walls except for him and his friends who were living in a nice quiet treehouse with plenty of spicy tea and chocolate which they ate while talking in friendly ways and everyone had forgiven Keiko who was happy and self-confident like Akane who had taught them all to be as good as she was while they did seal research that always worked on the first try and....

Those beautiful eyes blinked and he floated back down into his body, still seated at the table in the inn. For the first time since he could remember he wasn't afraid. Intellectually he still recognized the danger they were in, but the knowledge was at a distance.

"I'm sorry, my friend," Mari said, cupping her hand gently on his face. "It's only temporary. It'll wear off in a few minutes."

Kagome smiled. "It's all right," he said, voice just a little dreamy. "It's nice. And it was a good idea. I was going to mess things up, wasn't I?"

She nodded, an impish grin on her face. "Little bit, yeah."

"Keiko, what just happened?" Pandā asked in a voice that was trying to be quiet and failing in the sudden silence.

"Kagome was very afraid," Keiko whispered back, blushing as everyone looked at her. "Sensei calmed him down with a genjutsu."

"Relax," Jiraiya said to Kagome. "I haven't decided what to do with you yet, but I promise that your mind will not be damaged."

That wasn't as reassuring as it might have been intended. Still, at least it was honest.

"Here it is, sir," Hazō said, scribbling down the last symbol that he'd taken from the boy's back on that awful, awful night. He stood up, walking down the table to hand it to Jiraiya before resuming his seat.

Jiraiya studied the sheet carefully, eyes scanning back and forth across the lines. His lips pursed in thought.

"Could have been a lot worse," he grunted. "We've got the date and location. Looks like the next section would have been a threat assessment on the guards, but that's missing." He studied the team for painfully long seconds, unconsciously tapping the paper on the table as he thought.

"Okay," he said. "This is your chance to get back in my good graces. I realize you guys are beaten to hell and this is a crappy time to send you on a combat mission. Unfortunately for me, since you killed Joutarou I won't have any deniable assets that I can spare for this mission during that time window. You've shown that you're pretty good at smashing things up, so I've got a sealing expert that I need either dead or captured. Captured and brought to Konoha is strongly preferred, but I'll settle for dead if that's all I can get. Bring her in and you've got yourselves another open-ended reward. Bring me her head and all past sins are forgiven. Screw me on this and I'll personally hunt you down as a sign to others that such behavior is unwise. Clear?"

"Clear / clear / yes sir / sure / crystal / absolutely / So, does this mean that you're friends again?"

The Hyūga remained impassive. Jiraiya looked amused. The Yamanka laughed out loud.

"Close enough, Pandā," Jiraiya said. "Your summoner and her team have caused me a lot of trouble but we may still be able to work together. I'm giving them an important mission and if they pull it off we'll be back on good terms."

"Oh," Pandā said. "I'm sure they'll do great. Keiko is brilliant, and—"

Keiko cleared her throat and the pangolin went silent. His species did not blush like humans, but he was staring at the floor and his claws were beating a furious tattoo on his underbelly.

"Now, one more thing," Jiraiya said. "Agent Black is going to mindscan you to verify that you've been open and honest in this debriefing. If you have, great. If not...well, not so great. Before we do the scan, is there anything you might have forgotten to mention?"

---

XP AWARD: 19

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, September 14, 2016, at 12pm London time.

 

[OliWhail]

Interlude: Respite the Second​

[The following scenes take place during the days between Keiko leaving for the Summon Realm and heading to meet with Jiraiya.]

---

"Inoue-sensei, I really do need to talk to you," Hazou called up to the branch where she was relaxing in the sun.

He heard her sigh in response before she rolled over and dropped down. "Hazou, I told you we weren't going to talk about Keiko when you asked two days ago, and that's fi--"

"Not about Keiko!" he interrupted her angrily. "Not really. About how to talk to Keiko. Inoue-sensei, I don't want to mess things up when she comes back."

"And why do you think you would do that?"

"Because I don't know whether to try to debrief her and act like things are normal, or yell at her for leaving us camped out in Fire, or hug her, or express that I want to hug her but respect her desire not to be hugged! I understand Keiko better than I understand most people, but not when she's how she was before she left! I--" The words caught in his throat before he forced himself to say them. "I'm scared of scaring my friend away, sensei."

Her face, which had gone from the hardness of a commanding officer to the openness of an attentive teammate, melted into the warmth of a concerned friend. "Hazou… let me handle any debriefing that needs to be done, okay? You just trust your instincts and be the supportive friend you are."

He nodded stiffly before looking down, embarrassed. "There's one other thing, sensei. Keiko and I both have… difficulties with people. We had begun sharing our coping strategies, and adopted a way of speaking that I would like to suggest she would find reassuring to hear you using when she comes back."

"What do you mean?" Inoue asked, one red eyebrow rising quizzically.

"Well, in normal conversation, you often either simply state your conclusion and hope the other person fills in the premises themselves, or the other way around, or you leave other holes in what you say to imply things without stating them outright. We found that by laying out our aims and assumptions at the start of a conversation, and going through our thought processes transparently, we were much less likely to run into conflicts, or confusions about what the other person meant."

She grinned. "Like you're doing now?"

"It made both of us much more comfortable navigating our conversations," he answered with a nod.

"And what do you call this marvelous method?"

Hazou shrugged. "Clear Communication no Jutsu? I don't see why it needs a name. But I do think Keiko would appreciate your making the effort, and it would make her more comfortable with the difficult conversations we need to have."

"I'll keep it in mind, Hazou. Thank you."

-o-​

The frigid temperature made Akane's breath visible in front of her. Hazou-sensei had come up with the brilliant idea to combine extreme weather training, chakra capacity training, and experimenting with ice production at once. This involved placing water vessels of different amounts all around where the two of them were sitting and then having her maintain a cooling Elemental Mastery zone to see how large an amount of water she could freeze, and how fast.

Unfortunately, this meant they had to either stay up until the surroundings cooled off sufficiently, or wake up early in the morning. Fortunately, that meant the two of them were now sitting back-to-back under the stars.

"Akane," Hazou said suddenly, "I find myself confused about why you continue to refer to me as your sensei. Flattered, but confused. Your taijutsu is at the same level as mine. We're equals on the team. Hell, you're older than me. So why?"

She answered slowly, keeping part of her attention on maintaining the Elemental Mastery effect. "Even if those first two were completely true -- and they're not, I never beat you when you're using Roki and you play a much larger role in leading the team than I do -- you would still be my sensei in the ways of Youthfulness. I know you doubt yourself, Hazou-sensei, but your insightfulness and ability to inspire rival even Lee's. Perhaps they even surpass his. I don't think he could have convinced five other missing-nin that they should take the weight of fixing the world onto their shoulders. I know I couldn't have."

Hazou's scowl deepened. "I find it… difficult to view that as a success, given how much trouble it's caused us so far."

Her laugh startled him. "Hazou-sensei! Did you expect it to be easy?"

"I didn't expect it to drive the team apart like this, or to mean that I had to kill civilians to keep you all safe when it's ninja killing civilians that we want to change!"

Akane grew quiet for a long minute. "You're right, Hazou-sensei. Forgive me, I shouldn't have treated your concerns so lightly."

"No, I, that's… that's another reason I wanted to have this conversation. I worry that seeing yourself as my apprentice is making it harder for us to simply be friends. Noburi wouldn't have said that to me so formally. He would have said sorry and we would have moved on."

"Keiko would have said it, though, or close enough, if you two were using Clear Communication no Jutsu." Hazou felt himself blush a bit. That hadn't been a serious naming suggestion! "And I will continue to call you sensei because I trust and respect you. Those don't seem to exclude being friends, as far as I can tell."

"I suppose they don't," he answered. They continued to sit in companionable silence, shivering from the cold and the strain of deliberately emptying chakra coils, until the water in the last barrel had frozen solid.

-o-​

Hazou tossed the log upwards and started rapidly forming handseals. "Multiple Earth Wall!"

Several slabs of granite sprouted radially from the log in midair, and the construct produced a brief earthshuddering thud as it struck the ground. Hazou nodded to himself. The first test of his research project for the day was a success! Now to grab a couple sets of Five-Seal-Barrier tags….

...​

By raising MEW constructs out of logs on the ground, he'd created pillars to attach the support tags to and frozen one log in place around three meters up. Noburi wandered over while he was setting up a second platform higher off the ground.

"Hazou, what in all the names of the kami are you doing?" he asked incredulously.

"Trying to make the Yellow Flash more effective, Hazou answered simply.

Noburi took a second to look over the setup. Two logs suspended in midair, at three meter intervals. A third log resting on top of the higher frozen log. Pillars all around to support the central seals. "How?"

"One of the limiters on how we use PMYF is how far we can substitute. I want to test how and when we can do so. I can sub with a target resting on a barrier-frozen object within jumping distance, and I've been able to sub off of everything that could hold my weight, so now I want to see if I can sub with a target separated by a series of jumps."

"And that crash a couple minutes ago was..?"

"Testing if I could produce earth walls on a target in midair. More mass, bigger impact, better weapon. Though that depends on me being close enough, so I'd probably have to substitute with a flying target as well. Timing would be tricky."

Noburi was quiet for a couple of seconds, chewing the inside of his cheek, before his resolve firmed up. "How can you even be focused on this right now, Hazou? How can you be focused on anything? We botched our mission, we all nearly died twice in the same night, and now Keiko's screwing everything up even further by going MIA after dropping an explosive tag on the team's dynamics! And you just start suggesting training plans and doing research like nothing is wrong?!"

Hazou winced at the volume Noburi had managed to work himself up to. "Honestly, I think the research and training helps keep my mind off it. We'll deal with the dynamics when Keiko gets back--"

"If."

"--when Keiko gets back. And hey, if you're up for a distraction, I could use a partner."

"Why not have your faithful apprentice help, huh?" Noburi asked resentfully.

"She doesn't know as much about biology as you. Neither do I. I want to test what your water does to normal plants and animals, and you're the only one qualified to do the tests or judge the results."

Noburi was briefly dumbstruck. "Why?"

Hazou shrugged. "Curiosity? Distraction? Learning more about the deeper nature of nature? But mainly because, as the disaster in Hot Springs showed, we aren't good enough yet. We need to start leveraging what we have better, and part of that means understanding it."

"...Fine," Noburi said after a second. "But I get to test this," he added, gesturing upwards.

"Be my guest."

Instantly Noburi was replaced with the log at the top of the testing setup. "Nice!"

-o-​

Hazou waved Kagome over as his sensei came back in from the latest round of reinforcing their camp's defences.

"Sensei! I got dinner ready for you."

The older man took the bowl of simple soup gratefully. "Thanks kid. Could use something warm. Open area has me jumpy."

Hazou frowned briefly. That might mean it was a bad time to have this conversation. But as long as he made it clear that it was only theoretical…. "Sensei, I had a hypothetical sealing question for you, if you wouldn't mind."

"Mmm?"

"It occurred to me that it might be dangerous for Noburi to try to drain an infused seal, but I wasn't sure why."

"Well, yeah," Kagome said after a thoughtful gulp. "Seal effect depends on chakra being in the right pattern, and the stability of an infusion depends on each intermediate pattern being stable. He pulls chakra away, does it in a different order than the infusion, now there's a different pattern. Way more bad patterns than good ones, chances say boom, squish, no more Nobby."

"I heard that!" the other boy called from his tent behind them.

-o-​

"Gaaaaah it's not a Kotone cypher either!" Kagome's frustrated cry rang out over the camp.

"Problems, Kagome-sensei?" Akane asked brightly, taking a break from her one-fingered pushups nearby.

The sealmaster gesticulated wildly at the set of symbols Hazou had sketched in the dirt. "How the am I supposed to decrypt an incomplete message that I don't know the key to or subject of, huh? May as well just be in a different language. Ooh, actually, could be a Nakajima transliteration, stinking intelligence officials love Nakajima transliterations…. Maybe that one's a 'q'...."

"If it's frustrating, you could always take a break and work on the explosive belts to clear your head, Kagome-sensei," Hazou suggested gently, regretting that he'd set Kagome on the message immediately instead of waiting for the team's arsenal to be refilled like they'd been meaning to do since leaving Hidden Mountain. It was his own fault for giving the man a puzzle to solve, really.

Kagome waved him off. "You kidding me? This is way more interesting." Then he froze, and looked around the surrounding trees suspiciously. "Though this would be a bad place to get into a fight without the belts…. Yeah, I'll work on em. Good to take a break sometimes, right? Healthy for your brain. Least, Mari says so."

-o-​

Hazou walked over to Kagome as they were packing up the camp and preparing to head for Rice. "Kagome-sensei, I had a thought on how to keep Jiraiya from killing us all."

"Is it gonna involve us all having lupchanzen stuck in our ears?"

"Would I do that to you?" Hazou asked mischeviously. Kagome grabbed for his explosives, making Hazou hurriedly add "No! No, I would not! That was meant as a rhetorical question with 'no' being the implied answer, sensei. You… might not like the idea, though. I figure Jiraiya is intelligent enough to keep us alive even if he's very upset at us, conditional on us being useful. I want to show him the PMYF and macerator seals--"

"You WHAT? Are you crazy?! That IS gonna involve a lupchanz getting stuck in your ears! And they'll probably staple your toes to the floor since after all you only need hands, arms, and eyes, so they can feel free to cut away all the other bits and feed them to their tame damnbeasts, or a gaki, or to one of the horrific medical experiments they keep secret from everyone below Double-Black clearance. Is that what you WANT?"

"If it means protecting the rest of the team, yes!" Hazou responded fiercely.

Kagome's mouth worked open and closed soundlessly for a few seconds before he could respond. "Stinkers wouldn't let the rest of us off that easy. They'd break your brain and make you work for them even after killing off the rest of us. No, better to keep what you can do secret. Besides," he said as his eyes darkened, "if that stinker thinks he can threaten my team and get away with it, it's not you guys that'll need keeping safe."

---

Chakra mechanics experimentation results:

• Noburi cannot drain chakra from mundane plants, at least not at his current VD level - they have too low a concentration.
• Short- and medium-term chakra-water exposure has no discernible effect on mundane plants relative to normal water, Mari forbid Hazou from leaving the area to hunt down animals to experiment on, nobody even suggested hunting chakra beasts to test on given injuries. Noburi doesn't know what would happen if a civilian drank chakra water, and has never heard of this happening.
• We weren't experimenting long enough to make conclusions about long-term chakra-water exposure to plants. If ninja constantly overload their coils, their coils eventually start to break down, degrading chakra recovery rate and making future growth in capacity harder. Noburi assumes there are negative effects for civilians as well, but again has never heard of a Wakahisa giving a civilian chakra water to drink.

Additional things that happened or were found out:

• Chakra constructs can't get stored. We are waiting on whether this is because they break down when you try, because the seal doesn't recognize them as a valid target, or some other reason.
• Macerator stuff: Hazou figured out parameters for sawdust and mist macerator seals.
• On the Land of Rice:
  • The country isn't a DMZ
  • They are not currently fighting anyone externally or internally
  • The villagers we talked to weren't aware of any major sources of tension and didn't know who the country had treaties or alliances with, and nobody mentioned any ninja village.
• Hazou is pretty sure that Sharingan Kurosawas do not pass the trait on. He has never been told this explicitly, but he's pretty sure of it because if it bred true then there should be a lot more Sharingan users in Mist.

---

All thread participants have gained a coupon for one (1) Thousand-Yard-Stare point, redeemable at your local ninja store! Voting ends at 9am Eastern Time, Sunday September 18.

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 70: Goin' Fishing​

"Before we do the scan, is there anything you might have forgotten to mention?"

The words hung in the air like an upraised sword. There was no explicit threat, not even in the tone. Despite that, no one had any doubt that it wasn't a casual question.

Inoue-sensei thought for a moment. "Oh, there was a group that we ran into in Tea. The Hydra Medical Foundation. I didn't talk to them myself—that was Hazou and Noburi—but they sounded like a cult. Talked about self-actualization, levels of progress, blah, blah, blah. I mention it because of the name and the fact that the recruiter said 'eight heads are better than one'. Back when we went into the Liberator's camp there was that group called the 'Brotherhood of the Sacred Immortal Eight-Headed Serpent'. The names were too close for comfort. Anyway, the Foundation was giving free checkups and promised to teach medical ninjutsu to anyone who achieved a high enough rank. Also, I have some notes here on the guy who hired us for the Hot Springs mission, and this other spy that was there." She glanced at the team. "Anything else you guys can think of?"

"You better not have your pet mindripper shred our brains!" Kagome said. "Or put lupchanzen in our ears! I have information stashed away about Leaf's secret lupchanzen farms, and the way you abduct kids and vivisect them for your own sick amusement, and all kinds of things! It'll all come out if anything happens to me, or if you rip our brains apart and sew them back together upside down so we're loyal to you, or if you turn any of us into meat puppets to use as chakra batteries, or if you—"

Spoiler: Dice

Kagome, Deception (blackmail Jiraiya into not mindscanning/harming the team):
?d100: 57

Jiraiya, Deception (recognize that Kagome is lying his head off about having blackmail set up):
?d100: 1113

"What's a lupchanzen?" Jiraiya asked, interrupting the spouting river of paranoia.

Kagome glared at him. "Don't pretend you don't know! Lupchanz—chakra monster, half animal, half plant. Crawls into an orifice, eats your brain, turns you into a meat puppet slave. Don't pretend like you don't know—"

"Kagome," Inoue-sensei said, laying a hand on his arm. "Maybe we should have this conversation another time?"

"I know you all think I'm crazy," Kagome said, scowling. "You'll see! Just wait until he—"

"Sir," Jiraiya said. "I promise: I have no intention of putting a lupchanz, or anything else, in your ear or any of your other orifices. I have never heard of such a thing, and I certainly don't use them."

"A likely story! You'll—"

Inoue's hand closed on Kagome's arm with a grip that should have snapped the bones in half. "Kagome," she said nervously. "This is really not the time."

Kagome scowled deeper but went quiet. Mostly quiet; there was some under-his-breath grumbling that everyone pretended not to notice.

Jiraiya looked at Agent Black in silent question. Agent Black looked as though she'd just bitten a lemon. "You want me to mindscan that?" she murmured.

Hazou decided to seize the moment. "Sir, that actually leads us to a question I wanted to ask: why is this scan necessary? Agent Black has already stated that we aren't lying about anything. Inoue-sensei made plain that we've done everything we could to work with you. It seems poor repayment to go fishing in our heads."

Inoue-sensei's eyes flared wide in alarm. "Hazou," she said warningly.

"Sensei, I think it's fair," Hazou said defensively. "Not only that, but it might be dangerous to Agent Black. At least one of us has a bloodline related to the mind that could be harmful to a mental intruder. Three of us hold clan secrets; stealing them could be considered an act of war against Mist. Beyond that, we have secrets that are not relevant to Jiraiya's interests and could even be opposed to them—for example, the gift that the pangolin teacher gave us. We promised that would not be shared with anyone else; what would the toads say if they discovered that their summoner had stolen the secrets of an allied clan despite being warned?"

Inoue looked at Jiraiya. "I'm sorry about this," she said. "He's a good kid, honest. A bit thick sometimes, and not always great at recognizing when to keep his mouth shut, but a good kid."

Jiraiya snorted, but it was more in amusement than disapproval. "My godson is just like that, except more so. You have my sympathy."

"It's a fair question, sensei," Noburi said. "My clan is a big deal in Mist, and we're very careful about the secrets of our bloodline. A fishing trip in my head would be a clear case of espionage. It could cause trouble if word ever got back."

"My bloodline as well," Keiko said. "And, as Hazou said, it could be dangerous to an intruder. The Frozen Skein is difficult enough for even a trained Mori to touch. For an untrained person it would almost certainly be fatal."

Agent Black looked at Jiraiya and cocked an eyebrow inquisitively. The Sannin frowned. "That's...possible," he said. "I've never managed to get a clear description of the Mori bloodline, but it's definitely something related to their thought patterns. Most of them seem more...detached, than the average person. I wasn't looking for you to go after bloodline secrets, though. Just affirm that they have no designs at world domination or intent to directly oppose Konoha."

Agent Black gave him an exasperated look. "By now you should know that brains aren't like books," she said. "They aren't linear, they're all tied together. I can guarantee I'll get what I go in for, but I can't guarantee I won't see something else. Especially if it's something they're desperate to hide."

"I don't have anything to hide," Inoue-sensei said. "You saw that last time." She gazed brazenly at Jiraiya with half-lidded bedroom eyes and her lips curved into a smile that was illegal in twelve countries.

Jiraiya snorted. "Don't try to outperv me, girl. I was being a letch before you were crawling."

"Mmmm...I always did like older men," she purred, leaning forward.

Agent Black snorted in amusement. "She's got your number."

The Hyuuga, silent and nigh-motionless until now, shifted uncomfortably and looked disapproving.

Jiraiya laughed and shook his head. "Okay," he said. "Just you then, sweet thing. Show the nice Yamanka lady that you aren't planning to take over the world, cause a world war, overthrow any of the major nations...you know, the usual."

"Major nations?" Agent Black inquired archly. "What, you don't care if they take over Vegetable?"

"You stay out of this," Jiraiya said. "As long as they aren't planning to start playing politics, I'm fine."

"Um, actually," Hazou said. "About that...."

Inoue rolled her eyes. "So close," she muttered, sotto voce. "Ninety seconds. Quick scan, no problem, done. All he's gotta do is keep his mouth shut but noooo."

"Sorry, sensei," Hazou said. "I don't know if it counts, but it's better if we volunteer it, right?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Kid, didn't we talk about this? Wasn't this, like, the first thing I ever said to you? 'No taking over the world'—it seems like such a simple rule. Seriously, the first thing."

"Actually, the first thing you said was 'I think I can help with that'," Inoue-sensei said helpfully. "May I just say, I loved the way you helped me. I loved it more each and every time."

Agent Black coughed.

"Somehow, this meeting seems to have gotten away from me," Jiraiya muttered. "Okay, kid. In what fun and exciting way are you planning to upset the applecart that I have spent forty years keeping un-upset?"

"Um," Hazou began nervously. "Sir, I don't know how Konoha manages classified information. More specifically, sir, I don't know what clearance levels your friends have. The information we have is...a bit sensitive."

The amiable, joking Jiraiya vanished, replaced by the Sannin and the spymaster. "Are you claiming that you have classified information from Konoha?" he asked.

"Don't tell him anything!" Kagome hissed. "It's a tra—"

Inoue-sensei looped an arm around Kagome's neck, covered his mouth with one tiny hand, and pulled his head tight against her shoulder so he could not escape. Kagome struggled but she poked him in the ribs with the other hand; he jumped and gave a muffled squawk but then settled down.

"Not...exactly, sir," Hazou said, ignoring the byplay.

"Agents Black and White have my full confidence and Top Secret clearance," Jiraiya said.

Hazou took that in, then nodded. "Well sir, it's about the scorch squads. We sort of decided to put a stop to them."

Spoiler: Dice

Jiraiya, Deception (keep a poker face):
?d100: ?

Agent Black, Deception (keep a poker face):
?d100: ?

Agent White, Deception (keep a poker face):
?d100: ?

Inoue, Deception (see through their poker faces):
?d100: 1211

Hazou, Deception (see through their poker faces):
12d100: 408

Jiraiya considered that. "I see," he said. "And where did you find out about the scorch squads?"

Spoiler: Dice

Inoue, Deception (do not look at Kagome or otherwise give away that he was the source):
?d100: 1327

Hazou, Deception (do not look at Kagome or otherwise give away that he was the source):
?d100: 680

Kagome, Deception (do not give away that you were the source):
?d100: 66

Legendary spymaster and high-clearance associates:
Not bothering. (Also not bothering for the rest of Team Uplift.)

"I see," Jiraiya said, looking at the wide-eyed and frozen Kagome. "You're not in trouble, but I would like to hear what you know. Regardless of what you say there will not be consequences."

Regretfully, Inoue-sensei released her grip on Kagome. The sealmaster straightened up, glaring at Jiraiya. "As if I'd believe that, you stinker! Stinking spies, all alike. Talk sweet but the minute you—"

"Kagome," Inoue-sensei said, her voice tired. "Just tell him. Cat's already out of the bag. If he's honest about there being no consequences then you're fine to tell him. If he's not, we can't stop him. If there weren't going to be consequences for knowing then there might be some for not telling."

Kagome paused, unraveling that in his head. "Uh...."

"Sir, please believe me: I don't care that you know about the scorch squads," Jiraiya said. "I simply want to know what you think you know."

"Think?! Think?! I think I know that the villages all send squads of ninja out to kill civilians with high chakra reserves so that the next generation of ninja won't be born! Even Leaf." He glared at Jiraiya before grudgingly adding, "At least you stinkers only kill the high-chakra civilians themselves, not the whole town. Advantage of having all those stinking cheaty cheating eyes."

Jiraiya looked bemused. Beside him, Agent White crossed his arms on his chest; the tiniest hint of what could have been annoyance thought about maybe drifting across his features at some point in the future.

"For the record," Jiraiya said, "Leaf has never participated in any such program. Anything like that would destabilize the Elemental Nations; if a country knew that their ability to bear ninja was being systematically reduced they would recognize that they needed to go to war immediately as their power was only going to decrease over time. Obviously, I have no way of proving that, so I won't debate the issue. Now, Ms Inoue, if you would be so kind as to sit still for a moment, we can get this over with."

Agent Black made a series of handseals, staring intently at Inoue-sensei the whole time. "Mind Body Transmission no Jutsu," she murmured. Her eyes gleamed for an instant and then her body froze. Inoue-sensei was just as still, frozen in place like a statue on display.

The silence dragged on for long seconds.

And on.

And on.

Finally, Agent Black blinked and looked away. "Done," she said, somewhat redundantly. "She likes to play games, but I saw nothing that indicates dishonesty, subterfuge, or a significant desire to work against you or Leaf."

"Significant desire?" Jiraiya asked.

The Yamanaka shrugged. "She's a little pissed about this whole meeting. She, ah, might have made a point of imagining you falling in a mud puddle." She coughed. "And maybe a few other things. Still, no real desire to cause trouble for us, or even to play on an international level at all. She and her team want to prevent the genocide of civilians, but currently their only plan for that is 'start building a merchant network for fun, profit, and intelligence-gathering'. As far as I saw they have every intention of working with you honestly so long as your goals are aligned."

Jiraiya nodded. "Good." He looked around the table at the team who were holding their breath in anticipation of his final verdict. "All right, looks like we're done."

The words were met with relieved sighs. (And some grumbling that might or might not have involved the words 'stinker' and 'squish'.)

"Sorry it had to go down this way," Jiraiya said, sounding honestly regretful. "You just screwed up a major operation; I couldn't take a chance that you were working against me."

"Of course, we totally understand," said Inoue-sensei, proactively covering Kagome's mouth. "Perfectly reasonable."

Fortunately, Kagome's words were thoroughly muffled.

Jiraiya's lips twitched in a brief flash of amusement, but he nodded gravely. "Okay, then," he said. "Anything you need?"

---

XP AWARD: 10

I didn't make it very far through this plan, but I figured it was better to kick it out the door today instead of delaying. We'll work through more (the rest?) of it in the next update, and more XP will be awarded then.

Note: Ordinarily I wouldn't award so many XP when such a large part of the plan remains un-executed, but you guys did a great job.

 

[Velorien]

In lieu of an update:

There comes a time in every man's life when he's a day late with the update, and so tired he's actually managed to accidentally perma-delete his draft, and all he can do is provide most of the same information in the form of an infodump and go get some sleep (in the middle of the day). Apologies for the inconvenience.

While Rice has no hidden village, it is ruled by a loose coalition of ninja clans constantly engaged in a deep political game completely opaque to outsiders. The Akoma Clan act as the clans' diplomatic representatives and present a united front to the rest of the ninja world. They even manage to fool some people.

Rice is a very bountiful land which provides a notable proportion of the continent's food, and as a consequence has a comparatively high standard of living. The reason that its resource wealth and lack of hidden village has not led to its rapid conquest is that the Rice ninja have publically expressed their will to burn the entire country to ashes before they'll let a single farm be taken by their enemies. Their reputation for ruthlessness is sufficient that no one has tried to call their bluff.

Ordinarily, you'd expect that sort of announcement to lead to rebellion from a civilian population which does not wish to be burned to ashes in the event of war, or at least civil unrest which would be very bad for business. However, the Rice commoners are fiercely loyal, seeing their ninja as the only ones who remained among the people instead of sequestering themselves in hidden fortresses and keeping all the benefits of civilisation for themselves. In addition, those commoners had front row seats for the pillaging of Iron next door, and many would themselves put their fields to the torch rather than become slaves to a permanent foreign occupation (or so they declare).

As a consequence of all this, village ninja are unwelcome in Rice, with only a couple of towns (the one you're in, and one more in southeast Rice) established as safe spaces where representatives of hidden villages can come (with permission) to negotiate, communicate and be fleeced for all they're worth by opportunistic merchants. On the other hand, while missing-nin aren't exactly welcome as such (and any seen as competing with the clans for missions tend to find themselves eviscerated and hung in a public square), one clan or another will often find itself in a situation where it does not wish to get its own hands dirty – and deniable assets never go out of style.

Given this, it seems likely that Arikada's new employer is one of the Rice ninja clans, and if so, she must be stopped before she reaches her final destination and becomes embroiled in Rice's labyrinthine internal politics (with which no sane man wishes to tangle, Jiraiya included). On the other hand, this may be the only context in which any reputations you've acquired as missing-nin will be an asset rather than a liability – those who recognise you will actually be more likely to tolerate you than if they believe you to be infiltrating minions of a hidden village. Though of course, there are always the spies and informants on the lookout for interesting missing-nin arrivals as well.

Sarubetsu is a town of a few thousand people. It is run by a conventional civilian administration, with a mayor in charge. The mayor does not wear the colours of any of the three ninja clans with influence in the area, which suggests that either she is an accomplished player maintaining a careful course of neutrality – or there is a hidden hand at work.

Jiraiya says that even in the event that paralytic seals existed, they would certainly be too valuable and dangerous a piece of technology to send anywhere near a skilled enemy sealmaster. While he has no anti-sealing seals or techniques to offer you, he can give you the following pointers for fighting a sealing expert:

• Do not fight them in terrain they've had a chance to prepare
• Hit them hard and fast before they can pull out and activate their seals
• Even a little damage from water or fire can instantly ruin a seal
• Seals are fundamentally static and defensive in nature; typical combat seals cannot track a moving target or reach beyond a fixed distance
• A fighter who's had his concentration impaired won't fight as well; a sealmaster who's had his concentration impaired is a walking time bomb
• Sealmasters are paranoid and over-prepared; you must do the unexpected to bypass their defences
• A sensible sealmaster will keep emergency seals in their sleeves or elsewhere in their clothing, ideally within easy reach and between multiple layers of cloth so that there's no risk of sweat damaging the seal. Watertight pouches are often used for the most important seals so that the sealmaster can't be instantly defeated by a bucket of water perched over a door. There are stories of sealmasters who incorporate some kind of seal storage into their own body.

Trying to send you to Rice shops in a xenophobic town may end badly, so Jiraiya is prepared to have one of his own pick up whatever basic supplies you need. Ninja-strength nets are not among the things available, but you may be able to pick up high-tensile materials with which to make your own. A check-up in Yuni might be of benefit to your health, but you'd have to weigh it against the risk of crossing the Rice border twice.

In regard to Jōtarō and code words, you spent so long on your last mission that your old set went out of date. You could, of course, have picked up a couple of new ones if you'd asked a contact of Jiraiya's who already knew you. You are now up to date (at least assuming you succeed in this mission and thus don't get removed from Jiraiya's network with extreme prejudice).

Jiraiya's three points for effective contract-signing are as follows:

• Understand the other being's culture, background and perspective as fully as possible to establish smooth communication and mutual respect quickly
• Come to the bargaining table already knowing what they want, and offer it before they ask
• Summoners are shinobi of legend in both worlds: for a deep and lasting relationship, make the other being want to be part of your story, rather than merely a participant in an exchange

Finally, Arikada Sugako. Apart from a general reputation for sealing expertise and battle skill, Arikada is notable for her lack of restraint (which is part of how she originally came to Jiraiya's attention) and her obliviousness to civilian casualties. She is reportedly quick to anger, and has a strong sense of pride. Although she is not a genius like Jiraiya himself (he says casually), she has been rumoured to dabble in some advanced areas of sealcrafting experimentation, notably relating to the effects of seals and sealing mishaps on the functioning of the human body. It is possible that this element of her reputation has been inflated for practical purposes and she is really just an ordinary skilled sealcrafter, or it could mean she has some terrifying experimental seals hidden up her sleeve.

Needless to say, she is highly paranoid, and methodical to a fault. Jiraiya also notes that Arikada has had a series of apprentices, all without exception attractive boys, and that each one has met a grisly fate in what was probably a sealing accident. In addition, one of her recent employers included in their payment a box of the mild narcotic known as Vermilion Sigh.

 

[eaglejarl]

Interlude: Another Day, Another Mission​

Moving with exquisite care, Shinji disarmed the poison needle trap on the second floor window before teasing open the lock. He pushed the window open slowly before climbing through with all the stealth garnered from over a decade as a field ninja.

As his foot touched the floor, a flute began playing from downstairs. He froze, then laughed and shook his head. He slid the window closed and walked downstairs to see his son putting his flute down and racing across the room.

"Hi, Poppa!" Hazou cried, leaping on his father with all four limbs outstretched and a bedrock certainty that his poppa would catch him.

Shinji snatched the boy out of the air and swung him upside down, holding him up so that their eyes were on a level. Hazou's shirt fell down over his head but the giggles from behind the fabric made clear his feelings on the situation.

"Pthhbbbbbttt!" Shinji blew a giant zerbert on Hazou's tummy, making the boy shriek and giggle harder.

"Ha!" Shinji said. "Cricket played the song! The Chaos Monster has been defeated again!" He swung Hazou down to the ground and tickled him furiously. The shrieking and phony struggles got louder and more energetic until finally Shinji straightened up and looked to his wife.

"Hey, soldier," she purred, giving him bedroom eyes and a smile full of promise. "Missed you."

Shinji grinned. He had no idea what he had done to deserve Hana—presumably some god or goddess had decided that Shinji was a very good boy and deserved an extra special reward. His lovely wife was beautiful, lethal, an amazing cook, not just okay with his career but actively grateful for it, and she didn't even gripe too much when he absent-mindedly left his shuriken lying around the house. Oh, and she was a Kage-level lover.

Shinji made a mental note to go to the temple and say a general prayer of thanks to every single god and goddess.

"Missed you too, waterlily," he said, taking her in his arms and kissing her thoroughly. She molded herself into him and returned the kiss until he couldn't think straight, then leaned her head on his shoulder and held him close.

"How'd the mission go?" she asked quietly.

"Another day, another excitingly uneventful escort mission," he said, stroking her hair. "Most threatening thing we saw was a couple of chakra hawks off in the distance. The client was pleased with how smooth it was. Five thousand ryo bonus, of which your wonderful husband got half. I was trying to figure out what an appropriately lavish gift would be for my lover. Any thoughts?"

"Hmmm," she said. "Lover, huh? Anyone I know?"

"Yep," he said. He put his palm on top of her head. "She's about this tall. Slim, just the right amount of curves. Wicked smile and eyes to drown in."

"Sounds like a keeper," she said. "You could take her out to that new sushi place."

"Aww...I was thinking more like lingerie."

She snorted and thumped his chest lightly. "Beast."

"You know you love me," he said, chuckling and kissing her temple. The softness of her hair never ceased to amaze him; in the field she wore it up and out of her way, tucked in under a cap. Around the house she wore it down because she knew he liked it that way.

"I do," she admitted, squeezing him tight.

"Momma! Poppa! Stop being gross!" Hazou said, tugging eagerly on their respective pant legs. "Time for story!"

Hana laughed and scooped her son up, perching him on one hip and holding him with one arm while using the other to pull Shinji in for a smoldering kiss that Shinji deeply hoped was a promissory note.

"Okay, cricket," she said, poking Hazou's belly with one finger. "Story time it is. Which one?"

"Akihiko the Brave Ninja Boy!" he crowed.

"Again?" she said. "You always want that one."

"Akihiko! Akihiko! Akihiko!" he chanted.

His parents laughed, shaking their heads ruefully. "Okay, okay," Shinji said. "Who do you want to read it?"

"Duh!" Hazou said. "You have to read it, Poppa! You can't sing the chakra monkey's part as good as Momma!"

"Yes, well, she cheats," Shinji said, laughing and squeezing his beautiful wife. "You two and your cheating bloodline! Honestly, how's a guy supposed to compete?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Hana purred. "Come on, time for story."

o-o-o-o​

Hazou was too excited by his father's return to go to sleep easily; it took two repetitions of the book and an extra song before he dropped off. In Shinji's considered opinion, one of the nicest parts about being a ninja was that it was possible to sneak out of the room without waking your finally-gone-to-sleep child. With Hazou out of the way the parents were able to retire to the living room and lounge on the couch, Hana cuddled into her husband's side as he munched his way through his first meal in a week that was something besides cold trail food.

"So, how'd you hear me this time?" Shinji said. "I thought I'd finally surprise you by coming through the bedroom window, but you had Hazou start the song exactly as I came in."

"I'll never tell," she said, giving him a sly smile. "It's one of those secrets that you learn when you make jounin."

"All right, all right!" he said. "I'll take the exams next year. You'll have to help me train, though."

She purred and hugged him tight. He returned the hug with one arm and kissed the crown of her head.

"Mission desk tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah, the treasury was closed when we got in," he said. "I'll pick up the balance in the morning. Everything okay?"

She nodded. "With the money from my last mission we're set for the next three months, so I've got some downtime. I know cricket would like having us both here for a while."

"I'm in the rotation for two more weeks," he reminded her. "I arranged to swap with Chikamatsu for the rotation after that, though. I'll be off for six weeks."

"Good," she said. "Now. Are you going to dawdle over that mu shu for the rest of the night or are you going to drag your lovely and impatient wife off to bed?"

"Mmf!" he said, shoveling in a last bite and setting the bowl aside before sweeping her into a bridal carry and jumping to his feet. "Be'! Def'ly be'!" He chewed quickly and gulped down the last of the food. "Yes, definitely!"

"Eep!" she said, throwing her arms around his neck. "No smooches for you until you clean your mouth, mister!" she said.

He laughed and bounced her in his arms before striding into the bedroom.

o-o-o-o​

Ninja missions were not so common that it would have been surprising if Shinji had remained missionless until the end of his rotation. Still, it wasn't surprising that he got one either.

"Feh," Hana said from where she was sprawled on the bed beside him, legs draped over his as the afternoon breeze from the window cooled their sweat-slick bodies. "I was hoping you wouldn't be called up again. I've enjoyed having you around so much."

"I can tell," Shinji said with a grin. He propped himself up on one hand and trailed his fingertips idly across her belly. She sighed happily and patted him with one post-coitally uncoordinated hand.

"It's a nothing mission," he said. "About three hours out, kill the guy, three hours home. We should be back in time for dinner."

"Good," she said. "Those gyoza aren't going to eat themselves."

He perked up at that. "Ooooh, gyoza? I'll make sure to hurry!"

She laughed. "Who's the target?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't really listening. Motoyoshi, I think? I got an address and a description, figured that was enough. He's probably a yak."

"Makes sense," she said, nodding and stroking her fingertips absently across the arm he'd draped across her. "Their promotion rules are a little rough. Who's your second?"

"Murai," he said. He saw her puzzled frown. "You know, tall guy with the burn scars on his left side?"

She nodded. "Oh, him. Yeah, I've done some E&E training with him and he's not bad. The burns on his leg make it a little stiff, though. He tends to drift to the left when he's running. Makes his orienteering a little unreliable."

He snorted. "I'll try to make sure we don't end up missing an entire town," he said drily.

Without looking she poked him in the ribs, making him yelp. "Don't you mock me, mister," she said threateningly. "I know where you sleep."

"Yes," he said. "Next to my beautiful, talented, brilliant, scary wife."

"Darn straight. When are you leaving?"

"About an hour. I just need to wash off and grab my go bag."

"An hour, huh?" she said, a lecherous smile spreading across her face. "You don't have to grab your bag just yet, do you?"

o-o-o-o​

In the final event Shinji was ten minutes late reporting for duty, and he showed up with a giant hickey on his neck. Murai noticed it and snickered as he swung his pack on.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," Shinji said. "Let's go kill this guy. Hana's making gyoza and I don't want to be late."

o-o-o-o​

Murai's burned leg made him a little slower than most ninja, which was undoubtedly why he and Shinji were late getting home. Or so Hana told herself as she sat waiting at the dinner table, the bowl of gyoza cooling beside her.

Of course, it could just be that whatshisname had had some interesting papers or valuables in the house. Shinji always had an eye out for opportunities. He'd whacked some merchant last year and come back with the man's trading journal. Hana hadn't really understood his plan, but Shinji had smiled mysteriously, kissed her, and then arranged for a week off before disappearing. With the advance knowledge of where and when caravans would be traveling and what they'd be carrying he'd managed to arbitrage a few thousand ryo into more than ninety thousand. They'd put most of it in the mortgage fund but he'd insisted on spending a full twenty of it on her: he paid for a D-rank babysitting mission so they could get out for the weekend, then he took her to the spa for a day and a half. Massages, rich food, a shopping trip at the best weaponmaker in town (he'd joked about taking her clothes shopping and only laughed when she glared at him), and a full pound of chocolate.

If today's target had been a yakuza he had undoubtedly had that sort of useful intelligence around. Shinji had probably just needed a little extra time to gather it all up. Maybe there had been some heavy stuff, too. If his pack was full of gold then it wasn't surprising that he'd be running late.

Yes, that was definitely it. After all, very few yakuza were successful enough to hire ninja bodyguards, and nothing less would have kept Shinji from getting back in time for homemade gyoza. No, it was definitely just that he was busy sorting through some valuable papers and had lost track of time. He was brilliant, and mischievous, and he made her laugh on a regular basis (plus, he was a phenomenal kisser), but he did read slowly enough that she teased him for it. He was probably just sorting through the papers, trying to figure out what was worth bringing and what wasn't. You'd think he could just shove it all into his pack and go through it later, wouldn't you? Still, that wasn't her man; his curiosity would compel him to look at everything right away, and then he'd get lost in the puzzle of it.

Yes, that was definitely why he was late. Or maybe he was just trying to be extra sneaky about getting into the house without her noticing. He never had figured out how she always spotted him, and she certainly wasn't going to tell him that she'd made a deal with the genin who manned the mission desk. She brought them homemade food every day and they kept an eye out for her husband. While Shinji was delivering his report the desk genin would send a messenger to let her know that he was back. The messenger would then wait around in the trees across the road to signal her through the window when Shinji tried to sneak in. Surely the messenger would turn up soo—

There was a knock on the door; she leaped to her feet and almost raced across the room, eager to ask the messenger boy how much longer Shinji would be.

The messenger was an adult jounin wearing full dress blacks and a somber expression.

---

XP AWARD: 0

Voting for what to do back in the mainline plot will end on Wednesday, September 28, 2016, at 12pm London time.

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 72: An Experienced Man
by @Velorien​

"Don't get me wrong, I understand where you're coming from," Jiraiya said after a minute's silence. "Sage knows I'm carrying around enough of Sarutobi-sensei's secrets to fill a bathhouse. And I'd sooner stick a kunai in my chest than spit in the face of the man who's made me who I am by giving up even one of them."

He took a slow, deep breath, as if to prepare himself.

"But I'm going to ask you to do it anyway."

Keiko visibly flinched.

"The fact is," Jiraiya went on, "I didn't get the village's location from that surface scan, and I don't have the manpower to comb every corner of Tea to find it. So if you die on this very dangerous mission I'm sending you on, the knowledge dies with you. I can't allow that, because when those ninja finally turn up in the wider world, it's going to play havoc with the balance of power. We need to be ready.

"Worse, you might get captured and interrogated, and then the information will probably go to the highest bidder. Quite honestly, there's an argument to be made for killing you right here to prevent that, but I'm choosing to trust that you won't let yourselves be taken alive. Especially with those rumours about Arikada's specialised interests."

The team exchanged uneasy glances, except for Kagome-sensei, who gave a slightly puzzled nod as if Jiraiya had just grimly stated "the sky is blue" or "sandals go on your feet" or "Leaf's Tailed Beast breeding programme was shut down after it made the Nine-Tails go berserk that one time".

"So what exactly do you want from us?" Inoue-sensei asked.

"Before you leave, you can just point the place out to me on a map. Later, assuming you come back alive, we'll be able to take the time for a proper detailed debriefing."

Jiraiya looked at Keiko.

"Don't worry, kid. I'm not going to send in a strike team. For now, I'll just put a few assets in place so when they make first contact, it'll be a friendly welcoming committee from Hidden Leaf. Anything more complicated is down to the Hokage, but he's the kind of guy who likes to play nice with potential allies. If we could get you into a more permanent arrangement with Leaf without upsetting the applecart, and assuming you stop teetering on the edge of the liability drop, we might even make you the guys to send in there."

Keiko nodded.

"Good, glad to see we're on the same page. Now, if there's nothing else—"

"Um, Jiraiya, sir," Akane raised her hand, "may I ask about the matter of the Academy we mentioned to you last time?"

"Ah, yes," Jiraiya said. "We owe you on that front, perfectly honourable Leaf ninja into whose background we will not inquire further at this time."

He glanced to the sides. His ninja agents were keeping perfectly straight faces.

"The bad news is that Mizuki got away. It seems he was smart enough to realise that if one of his students committed treason, he'd be investigated alongside everyone else connected to her, er, them. So he ran before we could arrest him.

"The good news is that he left behind some useful papers. Turns out the crap he pulled with a certain student came after he tried a much cleverer scheme of somebody else's design, which fell through because the man was an imbecile. We reckon he was desperate to have some results to show his handler during their next contact, so he tried the last-minute stunt we saw."

Hazō risked a glance at Inoue-sensei. A slight ironic expression on her face told him she was thinking the same thing as him. There was more to those papers, but Jiraiya didn't see any reason for them to know that. Hazō felt a little proud for noticing.

"The even better news is that the investigation's given us strong evidence that a certain genin who shall remain nameless is not quite as dastardly a criminal as previously believed. Now, matters are a little complicated by the fact that I have reports of said individual doing something really stupid which couldn't possibly be the act of somebody officially affiliated with Hidden Leaf, but…"

Jiraiya gave a dramatic pause. Hazō couldn't help noticing the Yamanaka agent roll her eyes.

"…I don't think it would be outside my extraordinary abilities to get this person fully reinstated as a Leaf genin."

Akane went more still than Hazō had ever seen her, even during meditation or sleep. He wasn't sure she was even breathing.

"Of course," Jiraiya went on, "their activity would be closely monitored for some time, meaning no missions outside a full Leaf team. They'd have to say goodbye to any missing-nin they may have been associating with."

"Sir," Akane said in a very small voice. "Sir, I…"

"You don't have to decide now," Jiraiya said. "You have committed to carrying out the Arikada mission for me first. Your reinstatement will be conditional on you not dying, not betraying me and not failing the mission in such a spectacular fashion that Leaf would have to disavow you all over again.

"I can't believe I just had to say that sentence," he added.

The rest of the discussion was conducted with Akane in a silent daze.

-o-​

"If he doesn't have any paralytics for us," Hazō said to Inoue-sensei, "we can always try my earlier plan and harvest some from those chakra dragonflies in Iron. At the very least, I doubt they'll ever have encountered it before."

"Chakra dragonflies," Jiraiya said, appearing from around the corner as if by magic. "And you say they have some kind of paralytic venom?"

"I don't think it's venom per se. But it definitely paralyses people on contact."

"An original paralytic agent with no known antidote," Jiraiya mused, "with a source only you and I know.

"Well, I regret to say that I have nothing I can offer you in this regard. I'm afraid you're just going to have to retrieve this dragonfly saliva or what have you, and drop off a sample with me while you're at it."

-o-​

Mari walked slowly through the twilight, periodically leaning on the cane Kagome had quickly made for her. She'd have been happy with a basic walking stick, but Kagome, she recalled with a smile, had muttered something incoherent and then taken the time to carve a delicate spiral pattern swirling around the shaft.

She'd decided to go with tall and voluptuous for the disguise of the day, but this inevitably begged the question of why such a stunning beauty would bother working as a mere merchant. Men, she found, often thought that way. Few stopped to consider that the only career where beauty was both necessary and sufficient was prostitution. Thus, it was often effective to introduce a single obvious flaw which removed her from the pedestal without compromising her seductive abilities, and ambiguously impaired mobility was a classic (especially since it could generate protective feelings at the same time).

They'd observed the trader with his caravan leaving Sarubetsu, accompanied by three dour-faced guards in red uniforms, then traced the path ahead until they found a well-used campsite a day of civilian travel away. Now, it was evening, and she and her own two silent "bodyguards" (who would stay a sensible distance away so as not to draw the ninja's attention) had arrived just in time for the trader to be at his most relaxed right after his evening meal.

As she came close, she let the man see her, then adjusted her wide-brimmed hat so as to draw his attention away from the cane and to her carefully-crafted face.

"Pardon me, sir," she said, "might I share the warmth of your fire?"

?d100 = 1324

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 422

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?d100 = 497

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?d100 = 666

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?d100 = 363

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The short, richly-dressed, impressively-moustached man waved a hand towards her beckoningly. "Of course, ma'am. Long journey?"

She sat down, judging the distance for the maximal closeness etiquette would allow between two strangers. Hot Springs etiquette, to be precise—she didn't know enough about Rice customs to attempt to fake them, and she had an angle in mind.

"Heavens, yes," she gave a weary smile. "All that time stuck in Hot Springs, troublesome weather, and now my cart's broken down way back on the trail and I don't even know how long it'll take my brother to fix it and catch up to me. If I didn't know better, I'd think someone hired a ninja to turn invisible and torment me.

"No offense, sirs," she added, glancing up at the three ninja, who seemed to be ignoring her.

The trader looked at the road behind her, then at the cane again, and opened his mouth.

She shot him a look that was part wry and part challenging, and watched the question die on his lips. Yes, let him think her the kind of woman who wouldn't let disability so much as slow her down.

"May I ask what business you're in?" she asked to restore the flow of conversation.

"Oh, luxuries, and, ah, refined goods," the man told her. "Things of interest to those with an abundance of time and money on their hands. And yourself?" He tensed slightly, recalling that she was a potential competitor.

"Just vegetables," Mari said self-deprecatingly. The trader relaxed again.

"Not so exciting," she went on, "and at risk of spoilage. It makes it very trying when the Hot Springs people seal the borders and subject innocent merchants to their endless security procedures."

The trader put down the leg of unidentifiable animal he'd been chewing. "I'm sorry, did you say Hot Springs had sealed its borders?"

"Oh, they're open now," Mari said. "It was just in the aftermath of the incident, you know."

She gauged his expression and gave an inner triumphant grin.

"What's this about an incident?" the trader asked worriedly.

"Oh, has word not spread here yet?" Mari asked. "But of course, I must be one of the first arrivals here, given the hold-up and the long journey.

"Well, sir," she said playfully, "how about a favour for a favour? You can be the first to know about a very important event which might have an impact on your trade, and in return you can tell me about Sarubetsu so that I know what I'm in for when I arrive.

"You are clearly an experienced man," she added with a wink, "and I've never been one to let an opportunity slip away."

The trader laughed. "Oh, very good. Well, then, let it never be said that Okamura Seiji is not a gentleman—ladies first!"

Mari tipped her hat to him in a mock sign of respect, acknowledging what would have been a nice move if this had been a real negotiation.

"I understand that a team of missing-nin infiltrated the Mizutani hot spring resort," she said, leaning in in a conspiratory way which also happened to direct his gaze downwards, "and assassinated some very important ninja. They say the perpetrators are still at large."

Okamura reeled. "An assassination at a hot springs resort?! This is a disaster! Hot Springs's patrons are going to be fleeing left, right, and centre! Whom am I going to be selling my goods to now?"

He wiped the sweat off his brow with his sleeve in an unconscious motion. "I'd better start shifting my investments as well. How many nobles are going to take holidays in Hot Springs if even Mizutani isn't a safe place for them? I'm very sorry, ma'am, but if you haven't realised it yet, your business in Hot Springs is going to be in a lot of danger."

Mari raised her eyebrows. "What exactly are you referring to?"

"Well, we've seen it all before, haven't we?" Okamura said. "With Rain Country before the war. Investors started pulling out one by one, the economy plummeted, merchants changed their routes because they'd only be losing money taking Rain currency, the country entered a depression, and once the effects of that hit their ninja village...

"Mind you," he said, "I'm sure one incident won't topple the entire economy like that. Hot Springs is in a much better starting position than Rain was. And besides, they can regain a great deal of credibility if they capture those assassins, and do it fast. No, perhaps I overreacted. After all, lots of ninja villages have a stake in Hot Springs remaining stable, and I'm sure their ninja hunters are already combing the continent for those evildoers."

"Even Rice?" Mari asked, glancing up at the ninja bodyguards (who continued to be made of stone for all intents and purposes).

"Well, not so much Rice," Okamura agreed. "Rice doesn't have ninja hunters per se, since they don't have missing-nin. If you betray your clan, you either flee the country or you die, and the clans have little interest in what goes on beyond their borders—or that's how I've had it explained to me. And they aren't on friendly terms with the ninja hunters of other villages either.

"Now that you put it that way, it does make it sound like those terrible assassins might be hiding in Rice, doesn't it?" he finished thoughtfully.

"What about the clans that rule Sarubetsu?" Mari asked him. "Which ones are those?"

"Ah, well," Okamura began in the voice of a man pleased to be seen as knowledgeable and wise. "No clans really rule Sarubetsu."

There was a pointed cough from behind him.

"Although, of course, the Irie Clan have the strongest claim," Okamura added quickly, "and if they really wanted to, I'm sure they could take control at any minute.

"But as things stand, the Irie are competing with the Murano, and a year ago Harada bowed out of the contest for Sarubetsu for reasons unknown, to be replaced by the Hinago. With all this going on, Mayor Emiya has been playing off the clans against each other—"

There was another cough.

"Yes, I know, only on the Irie's sufferance," Okamura said irritably, "may I get on with my explanation now?"

"So Mayor Emiya is an independent leader," Mari said. "Can you tell me more about her and the clans?"

"Well," Okamura paused to take another bite of his meat, "the Murano, the yellow clan, have traditionally controlled the arms and armour trade. They also used to have authority over tool crafting, but for some reason they ceded that to the Hanamura a couple of years ago. Their influence in Sarubetsu dates back from when it was much bigger, and a trade centre for metals coming out of Iron Country. But they lost their outright rule as that dried up.

"I don't know what the Harada's sphere of influence was, but I suppose they must have lost it, or maybe they had to allocate their resources somewhere more important. You don't see green much in the south anymore. And their replacements in Sarubetsu's political arena are the Hinago, the violet clan. They are medics and healers by speciality, and in recent years they've entered a sharp ascendancy, displacing—or so I hear—their rivals the Uta Clan, and taking control of a chunk of the northwest."

"But here they are competing for a village in the south," Mari observed.

"Well, yes, for obvious reasons," Okamura said. "Which brings them in conflict with the Irie, who have a strong influence over the yakuza, and thus over various illegal trades, which—"he pre-empted the cough—"they of course do their utmost to stamp out."

"Pardon my ignorance, sir, but what are these obvious reasons?"

Okamura gave her an incredulous look. "Why, the izanai red, of course. Fields and fields of it are maintained by Sarubetsu farmers. That's half the reason this village still exists."

Izanai red. Some kind of flower? Or herb? It definitely rang a bell, but Mari had always been horribly bored by pharmaceutical classes. You used drugs to get the job done when you had to, sure, but to her it tended to feel like cheating. Not even the fun kind of cheating that defined being a ninja. Administering a drug was so much less interesting than taking control of somebody's body and mind using nothing but the right words and perfect body language.

"I'm sorry," she said. "What is izanai red?"

"A flower with useful medicinal properties," Okamura said, "which can also be refined to produce Vermilion Sigh. And, um, also the other thing."

Mari raised her eyebrows.

"My apologies," Okamura muttered. "I shouldn't even be alluding to that around ladies."

"Not at all," Mari smiled. "So I take it one can purchase this substance in Sarubetsu?"

"Oh, yes," Okamura said. "The harvest just finished, as it happens, so it's at its cheapest to buy, especially in bulk."

He gave a regretful frown.

"And purely hypothetically, you understand," Mari said, "where in Sarubetsu might one obtain such a substance?"

"Why?" Okamura asked. "Are you wishing to partake?"

"No, no," Mari shook her head gently. "I ask simply so that I know for the future, since I have acquaintances who may be interested."

"Ah," Okamura said. "In that case, purely hypothetically, one might visit Smiling Miki's antique store on Puppet Lane and ask about her sakura shoji screens. But you understand, I know nothing of this and am only repeating the word on the street."

"I understand," Mari said. "Are there any other persons of interest it may benefit me to know about as a newcomer?"

"Hmm," Okamura tapped his index finger against his temple. "Well, I've mentioned Mayor Emiya. She doesn't tolerate disorder, so I advise you not to cause trouble, since she can make life extremely difficult for you if you make so much as one tiny mistake in the wrong place and at the wrong time, even if it wasn't really your fault. On the other hand, she's said to be a great help to those abused by the ninja clans, so bear that in mind.

"Horibe is the local representative of the Mihara Group, the yakuza organisation with influence across much of the south. With the Irie Clan's wise oversight, his reach is limited, but he is nevertheless a useful source of information on the local criminal world if you can make it worth his while. Of course, this is also nothing more than hearsay.

"Emi the Younger is the manager of the Firefly Inn, which is the biggest and best place to stay in the village. If ten people come to Sarubetsu each day, I'm betting five of them will be getting rooms at the Firefly Inn. I get the feeling she knows an awful lot about what's going on in Sarubetsu as a result.

"She also has an extremely strong sense of personal space," he said absently.

"Ahem. Oh, I mustn't forget to mention Haruo the Stickler. If you need general goods, or to be pointed to a good specialist, I've dealt with Haruo the Stickler in the past, and he's a solid man who won't lead you astray. His shop is on Meandering Way. It looks like a normal house, but if you look closely, there's a little wooden plaque that says 'Haruo's' next to one of the windows."

"Thank you," Mari said. "This is very helpful. One more thing. Are there any important rumours or events I should know about? You understand, I wouldn't want to go in looking like an ignorant foreigner."

"Rumours, you say?" This time Okamura tapped his other temple. "Well, a lot of them really aren't things it would be proper to say in front of a lady. For the rest… some people are saying that the Harada Clan aren't really gone but are preparing to stage a massive comeback. Some are saying Mayor Emiya has been hiring missing-nin to work against the clans, while others claim it's the clans that have been hiring missing-nin to work against her. I've also heard that some missing-nin have been hiring Mayor Emiya, but I think that less likely. Of course, any hiring of missing-nin is completely illegal in the first place.

"People are saying that Emi the Elder is due to marry Urushibara the tanner, who will then take ownership of the inn and kick her sister out. Neither Emi has commented. Oh, and an abandoned house on the west side is said to be haunted, and people who go there tend to disappear."

"Well," Mari beamed, "you've been most helpful."

-o-​

You have received 7 XP.

-o-​

Your base has been set up to specifications to the southwest of Sarubetsu (the side where there are the fewest fields). Unfortunately, the area is mostly plains, with limited concealment opportunities. Everything in 2.1. has been fulfilled except for Keiko's pangolin negotiations, which are still in progress.

Jiraiya has paid for the equipment you requested, though he's noted that the costs will be coming out of your mission payment (you are still in his bad books). He has no agents in or near Sarubetsu because of the hating-village-ninja thing, but he can provide you with a safehouse if you return to the town where he presently is without having drawn excessive amounts of heat.

Sarubetsu is surrounded by fields, with no water in easy proximity. There is an east-west road running through it, which branches northwards on the eastern side. As mentioned, there is a well-used campsite a day's civilian travel to the east of the village, and a similar one slightly further away to the west. The northeast road offers no such sites within easy scouting distance. Some parts of the road run through bushes and various levels of wild growth, mainly further out from the village. Additionally, you can observe that to the north of the village, the buildings are closely-packed and jut up directly against the wall.

You have not yet spotted any interesting chakra monsters.

The rest of the plan is pending, unless you vote to amend/replace it.

-o-​

What next?

Voting closes at 12 noon on Saturday 1st of October, Eastern Standard Time.

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 73: Bug Hunt​

"How the hell would I know how to harvest dragonflies?" Hashimoto-sensei growled. "What, you think I go traipsing around in the woods?"

"We thought, with your medical expertise..." Noburi stumbled.

The medic threw up her hands. "Catch 'em, grind 'em up, dry the gunk out, throw it at people. Don't get it on your skin. Might work, might do nothing, beats me. There, does that satisfy you?"

"Yes, sensei," Noburi said, bowing low. "Thank you for your time, and for your healing."

"'Here, sensei, have two thousand ryo' sounds a lot better than 'thank you'," Hashimoto growled. "This is my job, you know."

"Here, sensei, have two thousand ryo," Noburi said with a bow. "I am very grateful."

"Great," Hashimoto said. "Now be grateful somewhere else, I've got patients to see."

"Yes, sensei," Noburi said, bowing again before quickly turning for the door.

"Not that way!" Hashimoto said. "Use the back door. I don't want anyone seeing you and associating you with me."

"But...I'm henged. No one—"

"Don't care! Back door, now!" She snapped her fingers imperiously and pointed straight-armed at the door.

"Yes, sensei!"

o-o-o-o​

"But...you were henged. And you'd never used that henge bef—"

"She didn't care."

Inoue-sensei looked at Hazou. In perfect synchronization, they shrugged.

"Okay," Inoue-sensei said. "Moving on...."

o-o-o-o​

Noburi sat cross-legged beside the river as dawn broke. The light barely trickled over the horizon, raising clammy fingers of cottony-white mist off the water. Silence lay across the world like a gentle blanket; the night creatures had only just gone to bed and those of the day were still deciding that their nests and burrows were comfortable and everything could wait a few more minutes.

His eyes were closed, his hands rested on knees, and he breathed slowly and evenly as he traced the flow of his chakra. It began in the heavy barrel on his back, the barrel that was the blessing and the curse of the Wakahisa. It made them sought-after teammates, but also pushed them into the background and left them unappreciated as ninja.

A lifetime of frustration and resentment bubbled up at that thought. In the past he had forced it down, ground it beneath a mental heel, and dismissed it from his mind so he could get on with the exercise. Now, following the advice of his jounin-sensei, he let it flow instead. His skin flushed and his lip curled up in anger as the memories flashed behind his eyes:

"Hey, barrel boy, I need a drink!"

"Get over here, fatty! I'm running low."

"Oh, cool, Nobby's here. Guess we can keep practicing after all."

"Don't worry about your taijutsu grades, Wakahisa. Your family are considered very desirable teammates, and I'm sure that whomever you're assigned to will be glad to have your chakra water available."

One by one he examined the images. Children, teachers, former teammates. The truth was that they didn't hate him, they didn't despise him...they didn't really think about him. Ninja life was difficult, and they had their own problems that they were wrapped up in. Too wrapped up to realize that someone might want to be valued for himself instead of for his bloodline. Thoughtless, not contemptuous.

What would the family think if they could see him now? He knew how much progress he had made. He could recognize the chakra flows faster and redirect them more smoothly than most of his older cousins had been able to before he left on that ill-fated mission. The Wakahisa family game was water polo and draining chakra from your opponents was par for the course. The chakra would flow back and forth between the competitors, each of them pulling from the others. The youngest children would be drained dry in seconds; their competition was simply to see who could stay in the pool the longest. The slightly older children could mostly only manage one target at a time and couldn't drain nearly as quickly as their seniors. They would end up having to drop out of the game from exhaustion soon enough. The fight would then go to the fresh Academy graduates and their slightly older siblings.

Cousin Shou had been the best of Noburi's generation, but by now Noburi had far surpassed him—had surpassed even his own parents, if truth were told. Were he still in Mist he would have been studying under senior elders. He would have been respected by the clan, and perhaps even by some of the non-clan. Best of all, that respect would have been his, due to his own skill, not to his bloodline.

Of course, there was no need to go to the family. His current team accepted him and respected him for himself. They had never once treated him like a mobile chakra source. They might tease him but it was never cruel, and if he was feeling low there would be support instead. And, of course, he was able to tease them and support them in kind.

The truth was, the team would be dead half a dozen times over if it weren't for him. Providing chakra wasn't sexy or dramatic, and it didn't earn the same kind of impressed looks that Hazou got every time he pulled another one of his clever plans out of nowhere. No, it wasn't sexy, but it was important. The whole team had escaped from overwhelming enemies because he was there to supply chakra. Keiko had been able to summon Pankurashun only because Noburi was there, and without Pankurashun's teachings Akane would not have survived the fight against Komori, nor would the team have been able to save her when she ran her chakra reserves empty. The team could run longer, hit harder, and punch above their weight class because he was there.

The barrel was no curse and it was no gift. It was simply part of who he was.

From the barrel the chakra flowed into the carefully-drawn pattern of Wakahisa family seals and from there into Noburi himself. It wound through his mangled and stunted chakra system, sustaining his body and enhancing his muscles. It came at his call, flowed where he told it to flow, shaped itself to his command.

Without opening his eyes he traced a series of handseals and reached out his left hand. A strand of water leapt up from the surface of the river, shaping itself into a whip and settling across his palm with an almost friendly tingle. He observed the way his chakra wrapped around the river water, holding it in the form he chose. He could bend the chakra like this and the whip would bend with it. He could shift it like that and the whip would coil itself up. He could extend it, reaching the whip into the river again and connecting him to the chakra of all the life within the water.

Without losing control of the whip, Noburi pulled very delicately on the web of chakra in the water. It flowed more easily than it had just a few months ago, leaping to his call like the friendly puppy at his neighbor's house. He could sense the differences more accurately now...the shifting swarm to his left that was a school of fish, the muted yet steady thrum that was the water plants near the riverbank, the tiny flitting of the mosquitoes in the—

His eyes shot open and the Water Whip splatted to the ground as he momentarily lost control.

Had he really...?

Carefully, he reformed his Water Whip and stretched it out in front of himself. He didn't reach it into the river, just extended it forward through the mist. Very gently he wrapped his chakra into the 'calling' form, the key that unlocked his family's gift.

Tiny threads of chakra flowed to him from the insects that flitted hither and yon through the morning mist.

For three long minutes, Noburi sat wide-eyed, practicing a technique that many of his peers had thought was only a story.

o-o-o-o​

"The grubs are back!" Panchipaama shouted into the back room of the clubhouse. Almost immediately a stomp of footfalls heralded the arrival of a dozen Naraka Rollers, all of whom towered over Kei in a bristling wall of muscle, each armed with claws the length of her forearms. She couldn't be bothered to feel threatened. She'd seen too much, done too much, faced down too many powerful foes—among them Pantsaa of the Adamant Scales and Jiraiya of the Sannin. No, she had no fear for her safety; if the Naraka Rollers wanted a fight they would find her more than they'd bargained for. Amazingly, she wasn't even afraid of the talking part of this meeting; she was buoyed up by Jiraiya's advice and sustained by the hours that Mari-sensei had spent working with her. No. Today was no day for fear. Today was when she would finally do it right. She would not be the foolish child who failed at everything. The carefully-rehearsed words were as ready to her hand as her kunai and they flowed just as easily.

"Watcha want, grub?" Panchipaama demanded. "You get that chapter of the Naraka Rollers set up like we agreed?"

Kei bowed low. "I fear I have not. The Human Path does not treat its women well. With the exception of female ninja, women are taught to be quiet and meek. I am having trouble finding any who would do honor to the Naraka Rollers. That is not what I'm here for, though."

"Oh?" the pangolin said with a sniff. "If you can't even do something that simple, why should the Panchipaama waste time on you?"

"My team and I are planning a heist," Kei said. "We're going to steal from the most dangerous non-ninja organization in the Elemental Nations. We're going to defeat their security, take their goods, and then sell it all back to them and laugh. It will be the first word in the legend of the Pangolin Summoner as I take my place in history. The previous summoner was Ui Isas; he lived centuries ago, yet his name still echoes through our history. Children sit wide-eyed when their elders tell his stories. I intend to be greater. I will write my name across history and the names of my pangolin battle companions will be written beside my own. People still shudder at mention of Ui's Six Scourges; I intend for my name to be different. I and those pangolin who choose to stand beside me will be a beacon, a sign of what women can do and what honor can rest with a missing-nin. We will be a thumb in the eye to authority across the world. We will burn the Hidden Villages to the ground and remake our world in our own image, forging it into a place where women are powers and rulers respect the ruled.

"I am on the Summon Path today to find companions for this heist. Pandaa and I have made a list of pangolin who would be good choices. I will go to each person on this list and offer them the opportunity to form a one-time pact with me. I will summon them to the Human Path one time, for purposes of the heist. Afterwards they can choose to continue as my companion or to break the pact. I will go home tonight with a shield mate, but I choose to give the Naraka Rollers the first opportunity, as I have so far been unable to honor you as you deserve on the Human Path. So, I ask the great Panchipaama: do you wish to show the Human Path your power or should I go elsewhere?"

Kei stood straight and tall, arm extended in invitation and eyes locked on those of Panchipaama. Still, she kept watch on the pangolin around them. Her words were being felt; as Mari-sensei had expected, these pangolin were defined by their rebellion against social norms and their loyalty to one another. The scarcity of breeding licenses in pangolin society caused frustration and left a lot of undirected energy swirling around with no outlet. Joining the Summoner on the Human Path, writing yourself into legend...those were words that would play well in this crowd.

Spoiler: Dice

Kei, Diplomacy + Deal-Making:
10d100 + (1/2 * 6d100): 657

The Panchipaama, Diplomacy:
?d100: 430

Panchipaama's lower jaw dropped open in a pangolin laugh. "This one's got claws!" she said. "Yes. The Panchipaama accepts your offer. I will grant you permission to summon me one time and, if you impress me, we can talk about making it permanent."

---

XP AWARD: 13

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, October 5, 2016, at 12pm London time.

---

Things that happened in the background:

• Hashimoto was able to patch up the seriously injured members of the party a little bit. Wound levels in malus dice are below; note that apparently people were less wounded than I had thought. I was sure that there were a couple members of the party who were at -3, but as far as I can tell it was only Hazou.
  • Hazou: -2
  • Mari: -1
  • Noburi: -1
  • Akane: -1
  • Keiko: 0
  • Kagome: 0
• Wax for earplugs is easily available.
• Eyepatches are the only practical form of eye protection; smooth glass suitable for eyeglasses is very hard to find and getting it evenly colored is almost impossible.
• You have heavy clothing available suitable for protection from minor nuisances like bees, wasps, etc. It's hot and hard to move in so you'll have to explicitly say that you're using it. It won't necessarily protect you from chakra-enhanced versions of those things, but it's fine against the basic forms.
• Vermillion Sigh is an opioid—it renders its users calm, loopy, and happy. It also interferes with motor skills, memory, and cognition, although it's not a magic "forget everything for two hours" pill.
• Details on Izanai Red are back in @Velorien's 'Chapter 72: An Experienced Man' post.
• The dragonflies aren't all that common. You found a few and harvested them but you've only got about one dose. It should work by aerosol and will probably be better if ingested. You tested a little of it on a rat and it knocked the thing out, but you don't have enough to have tried it on a person.
• After thinking about it and talking to Pandaa, Mari put the kibosh on the idea of raising funds for the scam. Hashimoto (the med-nin) would be very unlikely to have the money, the Naraka Rollers would be contemptuous of a mercantile scam, and Pandaa doesn't know any wealthy pangolin well enough to get an appointment on short notice.

 

[eaglejarl]

Oh and in our plan, we definitely need to ask Kagome his opinion on bringing her in alive, given that she might be put in a seal sweatshop, rather than mindscanned.

If Kagome isn't comfortable with it then we're killing her.

Click to shrink...

Kagome's eyes widened. "Do I care? Do I care if some stinking sealing stinker who experiments on kids and probably turns their brains around or something gets locked in a sealing sweatshop?"

"Yeees?" Hazou asked carefully, leaning back slightly as his very unstable sensei got more excited.

Kagome's eyes were wide and staring, one finger raised like a teacher making a point in class. His fevered gaze held Hazou tight in its grip as he leaned in and hissed, "One question."

"Yes, sensei?"

"What is she to you? Your aunt, your friend, your second cousin's third roommate?"

"...no? I've never even heard of her. You know that."

The pose fell away and Kagome shrugged. "Meh. She's not on my team, so who cares?" He turned away and wandered over to the campfire, muttering "Ooh, baked apples! Yum!"

Also ask Kagome if he would prefer to be killed or put in a seal sweatshop with the chance of escaping (as he did).

Click to shrink...

"What?! What do you mean?! Why are you putting me in a sweatshop? Why do you want me dead?! I thought we were friends!"

Everyone dove for cover as Kagome dropped a brace of explosive tags to cover his panicked flight into the night woods.

Inoue-sensei sighed. "What did you say now, Hazou?"

"Nothing! I just asked him if he'd rather be dead or in a sealing sweat shop!"

The redheaded jounin glared at him. "I'm going to go collect our wayward explosive-hurling lamb. You're going to sit here and write 'I will consider my word choice more carefully' five thousand times. When I get back we'll have a talk."

Hazou gulped. "Yes, sensei."

 

[eaglejarl]

Chapter 74: Thoughts and Conversations​

Hazou gaped in shock at Noburi's news.

Noburi's expression labeled him very clearly as Smugley Smuggington, King of Smugton. "Yep," he said, hitching his thumbs inside his lapels and rocking back and forth on his heels. "Legendary clan technique. Kids my age think it's just a story that the adults are making up. Figured it out all my own."

"That is most y— impressive, Noburi!" Akane beamed.

"You can say 'youthful', Akane," Keiko said, her teeth only slightly gritted.

Akane blinked in surprise and looked at her teammate. "Thank you, Keiko, but I do not want—"

"It's fine," Keiko said. "Senior Combat Instructor Pankurashun explained to me that teammates need to be accepting of one another, and that any recruit who forces his squadmates to smother themselves in order to keep the peace is deserving of a plugged nose."

Glances were exchanged.

"That's bad, yes?" Mari asked carefully.

Keiko nodded. "Yes, that's bad."

Akane smiled. "Thank you for making the effort, Keiko," she said, bowing slightly. "It is...extremely youthful." The smile turned into a wicked grin and she winked at Keiko; a non-Mori person would have appreciated the joke and snorted in amusement. Keiko, of course, was much too Mori to do such a thing. At all. No, she absolutely did not express any amusement, no matter what it looked like.

"Excuse me," Noburi said crossly. "Legendary technique? Brilliantly figured it out all on my own? This was my moment, guys."

Inoue-sensei patted him on the head. "Yes, and a very good moment it was. We're so proud of you."

Noburi sighed. "Fine." He held up a hand to cut off Hazou before the other genin could start talking.

"Yes. The same as through water. Yes, for both. Yes, omnidirectional or directed. Half a dozen or so. No, except for my overall limit. No, it needs to be contained."

Hazou closed his mouth, blinking. "What?"

"Well," Noburi said, a sly grin on his face, "I saw you about to vibrate into another dimension with all the questions that were struggling to get out so I thought I'd answer them first. I know how you get, Mr. Mew. Can't have you exploding from excitement. Or getting so distracted that you choose your words poorly."

"Yeah!" Kagome said. "No more bad word choice, Mr. Mew!"

"But—"

"Indeed," Akane said, nodding soberly. "Word choice is important, sensei. Noburi is doing you a great service by preventing you from getting so excited that you forget."

"I hate you all," Hazou grumbled.

"D'awwwww!" Inoue-sensei said, ruffling his hair furiously with both hands. "You're adorable when you're sulking!"

"Hmph." Hazou glared at her as he finger-combed his hair back into place. "Anyway, uh...." He paused, remembering Noburi's answers and trying to match them to questions. "You can drain through mist as well as sense, you can drain and sense at the same distance in mist and water, you can drain either omnidirectionally or against up to half a dozen or so targets at once, and...um...."

Noburi clucked his tongue disapprovingly, shaking his head at his teammate's failure. "I'm disappointed, Mr. Mew. The only limit on how much I can drain is my overall capacity. I can put as much chakra as I want in my barrel, but there's an upper limit on how much chakra I can keep confined, regardless of how many containers it's in. And no, I can't just drain past my limit and let the excess diffuse. I need it to end up in water as a storage medium."

"Oh," Hazou said, thinking it through. That put a lot of beautiful ideas straight in the macerator seal.

"Can you sense my seals?" Kagome asked, narrow-eyed. "More importantly, can you drain them?" An unobservant person would have thought that Kagome was wringing his hands nervously. Only someone who knew him would recognize that the paranoid explosives expert was actually petting the ringbox on his left palm.

"No," Noburi said quickly. "That was about the first thing I checked, because it would have made catching Arikada really easy. I can only sense and drain living things. Seals, chakra ink...they're totally invisible to me."

The whole group sighed as thousands more beautiful ideas leaped into the macerator seal, screaming their death cries en route.

"That would have been really nice," Inoue-sensei said wistfully. "We could maybe have caught the gold ring on this one. I think now we'll have to settle for the runner-up prize."

"What about your genjutsu, sensei?" Akane asked. "If you can catch Arikada in a genjutsu she will be helpless."

"But it leaves sensei defenseless," Keiko said. "Arikada will have other ninja with her."

"Uh...what about that one that you, um, used during the meeting?" Hazou asked, waving vaguely and trying very hard not to look at Kagome. "You said it lasts for minutes. You could hit her with it for a moment, shut it off, and be able to fight again."

Inoue-sensei shook her head. "No, it doesn't work like that. It's a very minor effect—it just makes the target happy and relaxed. When you shut it down they're still happy. It's just normal levels of happy, though—it's like if you just had a really good day. It won't change their actions or interfere with their abilities, and they return to their set point pretty quickly." She looked at Kagome guiltily. "I'm really sorry about that."

Kagome shrugged. "Why?"

Inoue-sensei blinked in confusion. "Because...I shouldn't have used a genjutsu on a teammmate without their permission?"

"Everything worked out, right?"

"Yeeess...?"

"So what's the problem?" He shrugged. "It was the first time I've been relaxed in..." He paused, head cocked and frowning in thought. "Huh. Well, anyway, it was nice to feel relaxed for once, and it's probably good you did it; I was too wound up to be careful, and if I'd kept talking that stinker Jiraiya would have realized just how much I knew and killed us all. You probably shouldn't do it too much, though. Could get addictive. Can't keep everyone safe if I'm all blissed out." He looked into the woods, frowning a bit. "Hm. Come to think of it, I should check the perimeter." He rolled up to his feet and trotted into the woods. The rest of the team watched him go.

"Okay," Noburi said. "That just happened."

"Moving on, I'd like to talk about ways to protect Inoue-sensei when she's using genjutsu in a fight," Hazou said, clearly determined not to let things get derailed. "I've been thinking about it, and I have a list here—"

The whole team (with the exception of the world's best apprentice) groaned.

o-o-o-o​

Spoiler: Dice

Hazou, Awareness:
15d100: 932

Noburi, Awareness:
12d100: 488

Dragonflies, Stealth:
?d100: 155

The dragonflies were quiet, but Hazou and Noburi had learned in a very hard school. The faint little buzz had barely reached their ears when Hazou blind-fired a kunai to his left. The attached macerator seal went off, spraying water everywhere.

The macerator was an impressive piece of work for someone who had only been studying sealing for a few months. Still, it was only a bit better than a prototype at this point. Sure, it crunched up what was put in it, but it didn't crunch as hard or as finely as Hazou would have liked.

"What's the matter, sensei?" Akane had asked, after catching him glaring at one of his seals as though having a personal dislike for the inoffensive bit of paper.

"It doesn't chew enough," Hazou grumbled.

Akane blinked. "Excuse me?"

"It doesn't chew enough," Hazou repeated. "I want it to get the particles smaller, and to be able to chew up more things. It won't even damage most kinds of wood, for goodness sake!"

Akane digested that. "Well, what do you want it to be able to damage?" she asked.

Hazou looked at her with an atavistic gleam in his eye. "All the things," he whispered. "All of them."

Hazou shook his head, forcing the memories away. He still wasn't completely happy with the performance of his seal, but it was good enough for this purpose. He could feed in a lot of river water and get out a lot of mist. It didn't cover as much area as he would have liked and it didn't last as long and he wanted—the water tended to precipitate out in fat droplets after only a few minutes—but for those few minutes it was enough.

The dragonflies had been buzzing happily through the sunlit woods, thinking dragonfly-ish thoughts about maybe finding a nice fox or rabbit somewhere, paralyzing it, tearing the tender flesh off its bones for a tasty meal before laying their eggs in its dying carcass, and then flying home to the nest for a lovely full-bellied nap. They had most certainly not been expecting to find themselves suddenly locked in a fog bank.

To the extent that a creature with a brain the size of a grain of rice can be said to be surprised, they were surprised.

The surprise didn't last long, though. With a nigh-audible schlorp, the chakra was pulled right out of them and they crashed head-first into the forest floor.

"Watch it," Hazou complained. "You got me with that drain as well as the bugs."

"Oops?" Noburi said, shrugging unrepentantly.

The mist wasn't thick enough to block vision at short range, so the two genin had only a little trouble locating their downed prey. Hazou sent an Earth Clone to pick up the two bug corpses, drop them into the collection bag, and bring them back.

"Bag's getting full," Hazou noted, hefting it thoughtfully.

"Grind 'em up, I guess," Noburi said. "Still seems like cheating."

Hazou gave him a withering look. "Did you want to spend hours with a mortar and pestle?" he asked, dropping the bag full of dead dragonflies into another macerator seal. "It's not like we have a lot of time, here, and this way is fast. Now come on, let's go find some more."

o-o-o-o​

"What was it like?" Mari-sensei repeated, stirring her dinner bowl slowly, her mind clearly turned inwards. "It was strange. Like being in a really crowded room with people talking loudly about parts of my life. Or maybe in a storm, with pages of my diary blowing past. Chaotic. There was a presence there, huge and looming over everything. Not like killing intent, not even hostile...maybe like a face in the clouds, up above everything. I couldn't follow everything that was going by, so I don't know how much she actually saw. I managed to...I guess you could call it 'grabbed a few of the pages' to keep them away from her eyes, but that simply attracted her attention to them."

She looked up, an urchin grin on her face. "Of course, that just showed me that I could make her see whatever I wanted. Turns out it didn't need to be things from my memories, either. Anything I focused on or imagined, I could put it into the storm and draw her eyes to it. I know she was seeing things other than what I was showing her, but I could control it a little bit." She laughed. "And hoo boy, did she see some stuff. There was this one thing, from when Jiraiya and I were together back in Yuni. See, there's this trick you can do with—"

Kei shuddered. "Speaking of seeing things!" she blurted. "Kagome, Agent White said that your transformation was excellent. Can you tell us a little more about your abilities there? How much of your mass can you change?"

Kagome froze, his spoon stuck in his mouth and his eyes flicking around defensively. "Fum?" he mumbled. He chewed and gulped the spiced chicken down. "Some?" he repeated.

"So, more than half?"

"Uh..." Kagome was suddenly extremely focused on wolfing down the stir fry in his bowl, shoveling food in until his cheeks were bulging like a chipmunk's. "Viff if gud!" he said, nodding at Akane and waving his bowl. "Fanks!" He gulped down the mouthful and grinned maniacally. "Love the spices! Really...um...uh...really youthful!"

The sun had set an hour ago, but it lurched back above the horizon momentarily just so it could shine forth from Akane's smile. "Thank you!" she said. "I was surprised by how well stocked the village was. And they wouldn't even let me pay. After Hazou-sensei raised the walls for them they pressed food and spices into my hands until I had to ask them to stop."

Kei frowned. Kagome's attitude made no sense. "Kagome, are you uncomfortable with talking about your skills? I don't wish to pressure you, but it would be useful if we were all aware of one another's abilities."

"No no, it's fine!" Kagome said. "I'm totally fine with talking about my abilities. Not an issue at all, really. Totally fine." He smiled to show just how fine he was, although it was more of a 'rictus of terror'.

Hazou hurried to interject before things got worse. "Speaking of abilities...Kagome-sensei, do you have any thoughts on how we should prepare for whatever abilities Arikada might have?" Hazou was particularly proud of that bit of wordsmithing. He had flow-charted forty-six separate possible conversations about this subject. The ones that featured any use of explosives during the converation were pruned first, followed by any that involved spending two hours searching the woods for one's interlocutor. After applying several more filters he had chosen this as the best lead-in.

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked guardedly. "How would I know what the stinker can do? Do you think I know her? Because I don't! Just because I'm a sealsmith doesn't mean I know all the other sealsmiths. Why are you asking me?"

"Well...." What? No, that wasn't in the flowchart!

"I believe what Hazou means is that our enemy's defenses will very likely be oriented around seals, and you are by far the greatest expert we know at using seals for defensive works," Kei said calmly. "Not only are you expert at the craft, but you are brilliant. I believe there to be a very high probability that you are more intelligent than Arikada and can therefore outthink her."

The whole group looked at Kei in surprise.

"What?" she said. "It's true. He is extremely intelligent. Also figuratively paranoid, extremely suspicious, and enormously destructive."

"Keiko and Kagome, sittin' in a tree—" Noburi sing-songed, before ending with a startled "mph!" as Mari-sensei pulled him into a headlock with one hand over his mouth.

"Are you making fun of me?" Kagome asked suspiciously, looking narrow-eyed at Kei.

She frowned. Her team seemed to be having a great deal of trouble following simple concepts tonight. She was fairly certain that she'd been communicating clearly.

"I notice that I am confused," Kei said carefully. "I feel that I have been extremely plain in my speech, yet apparently I have not. Could someone please explain what they think I have said so that I may try to correct any misunderstandings I have caused?"

"You said I was paranoid and suspicious and destructive," Kagome said. "That's not very nice."

Kei looked at him as though she'd just noticed a hole in his brain. "I said figuratively paranoid," she said. "I was attempting to speak in the vernacular, as I felt it would aid in communication." She sighed and shook her head. "I see now that I was wrong. You are not paranoid, Kagome. 'Paranoid' is a clinical diagnosis of insanity, meaning maladaptive compulsive behavior. Your behaviors are all extremely adaptive in the normal course of ninja life. Ergo you are not insane, ergo you are not clinically paranoid. In the vernacular, however, 'paranoid' means anyone who takes unusually thorough precautions to ensure their safety and the safety of those they care for. This is a most laudable trait, and you are the best example of it that I have ever met."

Kagome's narrow-eyed gaze became positively squinty. "So...I'm not crazy?"

Kei pondered that one. Technically she should take no position on his mental state, as she wasn't qualified to make a diagnosis of insanity. She suspected, however, that this was not what was needed at the moment. What was needed was a comment that would make Kagome feel supported and affirmed. A simple 'no' would suffice, but it wouldn't be ideal. What would be better?

She breathed out, imagining that she could see her breath for an instant as the ice spread through her body. (Forget this.) Around her, a three dimensional map of conversation trees spread through the air, (give up) each node tagged with potential expressions, words, and probabalistic projections of associated emotion. She surveyed the map, turning her mental viewpoint (you are a failure) rapidly as she reviewed the (you ruin everything) possibilities. (foolish, useless, stupid child) Kagome needed reassurance, (worthless) but it couldn't be empty platitudes or lies. (give up) It also needed to be phrased in (give up) a way he would accept.

There, that one.

With the ease of long practice, Kei pulled herself up out of the ice and smiled at Kagome. (Smiles help, her mother always said.) The dip into the Frozen Skein had been barely a flicker, not enough time for anyone to have noticed the pause. There was plenty of time to remember to smile.

"No, Kagome, you are not crazy," Kei said. "You are the sanest among us, because you recognize how dangerous our lives are, yet you confront the knowledge instead of shying away."

---

XP AWARD: 8

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, October 12, 2016, at 12pm London time.

---

Things that happened offstage / in the background because I lack the spoons to write it. (Sorry about that. :< )

• Keiko leveled her Capacity twice, stating that she needs the extra chakra in order to be able to keep fighting after summoning powerful pangolin.
• You could not find binoculars.
• You are back in Rice, staying at the Firefly Inn in Sarubetsu.
• You saw no one on your way into town—not border patrol, not a traveler, no one.
• Keiko felt that summoning Panchipaama for team training would be counterproductive. She tells you about her encounters with her to date and explains that about the Naraka Rollers: they are a cross between a girl gang and a sporting club, all female, and have a serious chip on their shoulder. Panchipaama is known as a powerful defensive fighter who goes to great lengths to protect her companions. She doesn't want to be accused on weakness or being soft, so she projects a degree of arrogance to counterbalance.
• You did some charity work for the villagers of Iron. They were appreciative and gave you everything they could about where to find the dragonflies. You hunted the things down and gathered up all that you are going to be able to find in any sort of reasonable time frame.
• You've gathered a little more of the paralytic stuff; your product is the exact opposite of pure—most of what you have is actually the remains of the bags that were containing the dragonfly carcasses when you sealed them in the macerator—but it's effective. Because of the lack of purity it's wildly unpredictable. The same amount killed one rat almost instantly, left a second staggering around but still capable of biting, and had very little effect on the third. You only had a couple of hours to do experiments and after the results of the animal experiments you didn't dare try it on any humans. If you gave the entire amount you have left (about 10 grams or one-third of an ounce) to a grown human, and if they inhaled all of it, you are reasonably confident that it would probably kill them under normal circumstances, assuming nothing unusual happened.
• Kagome talked a bit about alarm seals, detection seals, and related subjects. Short version: there is a bewhildering array of things that seals can detect, so it's easier just to assume that it's possible to design one to detect whatever it is you're worried about. Noise- and light-making alarms are the most common by far.
• Kagome is not willing to talk more about his henge; when the subject is brought up he seems more embarrassed than anything else.

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 75: Misplaced Trust and Healthy Paranoia​

Mari sank slightly deeper into her seat, her second hour of watching Emi the Younger at work nearly over. The sandy-haired twentysomething girl's body language and tone of voice didn't tell her quite as much as she'd hoped, but on this occasion, Mari had a secret weapon. For in another time, another place, Inoue Mariko had been an innkeeper's daughter, and nowhere did a person's personality reveal themselves more than in how they ran their inn. The Firefly Inn was as much Emi the Younger as the girl in front of her was.

In another time, another place, Mariko was never discovered as a potential ninja. She grew up among friends, learning everything she needed to know along the way, and one day took up the torch and carried on the proud traditions of the Open Hearth. She stood behind the counter in a simple white dress, with a bright red choker like Miss Konishi's around her neck, and bowed as the guests came in, and said a few kind words to help them relax, and given hearty meals to the hungry, drinks to the tense, and rooms to those in need of a home away from home. In the mornings, when business was quietest, she'd balance the books, and restock the larder, and send the maid (with Mariko in charge, they would of course be rich enough to afford a maid) to clean every corner and make sure the H hadn't fallen off the end of the sign again. Her friends would be sick with envy, and Mum would be ever so proud, and Uncle Kazuhiro—

Mari stood up sharply. Only a rank amateur would allow themselves to be distracted by personal feelings during a mission, and Usami-sensei had taught her better than that. Assets. Opportunities. Angles of attack. She'd think better in the fresh air anyway.
​

-o-​

Emi was once again distracted by the customer in Room Three, whose violent coughing she could intermittently hear even through the ceiling. She should probably brew him some honeyed tea to help his throat—complimentary, of course. To be sure, that man could afford anything she had to throw at him, but reputation was daimyo in her business, and a little charity could go a long way.

She was already reaching for a mug when the ringing bell announced a new arrival.

"Welcome to the Firefly Inn!" she called out almost reflexively.

It didn't take her long to register that something was off. The second she could tear her eyes away from the newcomer's magnificent bosom (bad Emi; no thinking lecherous thoughts about potential customers!), she became aware of the slightly-too-wide eyes and the rapid breathing. The woman walked—nearly ran— up to the bar, and dumped the entire contents of a money pouch on it.

"I need, need a room. For the night. P-please."

Emi took in the situation. Dirtied clothing. Aura of desperation. The money (all local coinage, she noted). A fresh bruise across the woman's cheek. Emi made herself keep smiling as her stomach began to tighten. She was getting a feeling that this was a "don't worry, I just walked into a door for the third time this week" bruise.

The woman wasn't carrying a travel bag, or anything at all. Emi glanced down at the pile of money again. Yes, in fact, that was the kind of sum you'd get for selling a horse in Sarubetsu without bargaining. (Akutagawa the trader had a gift for selective deafness which sometimes drove Emi mad, but even so she took care to soak in everything she could whenever veterans like him visited.)

"Please," the woman leaned in, incidentally exposing more of her fascinating cleavage. (No thinking lecherous thoughts about the customers! This isn't that kind of inn, and besides, I can't afford a scandal right now. Nobody would have to know. And it has been over a year since… Shut up, Inner Emi.) Then the motion exposed another bruise, and any inappropriate thoughts that may have been crossing Emi's mind disappeared immediately.

"Please, is it not enough?"

"It is more than enough," Emi smiled sweetly, sliding the appropriate amount off the table (and deciding in passing not to charge extra for breakfast). "I hope you enjoy your stay."

Then, to her alarm, the customer leaned in close and whispered to her. "If… if someone comes looking for me, could you tell them I'm not there? Please?"

Emi glanced around the room. How many customers had seen her come in?

She made a quick calculation, noting the number of patrons, the overall mood in the room, and the fact that the Irisu siblings had started their shift, and the new girl Yuri was still here. The youngest of the Irisu had a good head on her shoulders; she should be able to man the bar for half an hour as long as Emi was back in time for the evening rush.

Emi tapped her fingers together as the decision crystallised, a handclap without the noisy palms.

"Rei, would you mind taking over while I show this lady to her room?"

"Yes, Miss Emi!" Rei bounced, but somehow managed to keep the tray in her hand perfectly still.

"And Yuri, take some honeyed tea to Room Three."

"Yes, Miss Emi!" Yuri happily took the opportunity Emi had given her to extricate herself from a customer (who seemed like he was starting to get grabby, and was one warning away from a lifetime ban).
​

-o-​

Emi watched the customer sit down heavily on the bed (which sank a little too low—she'd have to Have Makina show Yuri how to restuff the mattress), then delicately sat down next to her.

"Forgive me if I'm overstepping my bounds," she said, "but would you like to talk about what happened to you? I promise I won't tell anyone."

Silence reigned for a while, which was not the same as a refusal. Emi waited patiently, silently wishing she'd taken the chair in the corner instead, because while her position made it easier to build rapport with the customer, she was also in close proximity to a really attractive woman and Inner Emi kept making the most incredibly appealing inappropriate suggestions. And Emi was increasingly sure that, were she to act on any of them, she would be taking advantage of an emotionally vulnerable person on top of everything else, so no.

At least, unlike Emi, the customer seemed to be benefiting from the quiet, and no longer on the verge of tears.

"I used to be an innkeeper like you," she began. "My brother and I ran an inn together. I managed the staff and the premises, and he handled the budget and negotiations. But then he got married, and his new wife… well, she hated my guts. I don't know why, but she really did. She poisoned him against me. And one day, when a ninja was passing through the village…"

The customer swallowed. Her eyes glistened.

"He… he sold me. Like an animal. Like I wasn't human. What kind of person does that, to their own sister?"

Emi's eyes widened. "That's horrible!"

She'd heard rumours that the slave trade was being revived again in some dark corners of the world, maybe in the south where people would do anything for money, but for it to be happening so close!

"He sold me," the customer repeated. "To be a… a…"

"You don't have to tell me," Emi said softly.

"A comfort woman," the customer forced out, as if saying it was an act of rebellion.

"She would keep me with her, and leave me in some nearby town when she went on missions," the customer recounted. "And when she came back… she did things."

Emi really didn't want to hear the details. She had vivid dreams, had done ever since she was a child, and there were some things she was keen to keep out of them.

But the customer's needs took priority.

"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to," she said. "But if you want to, I'll listen."

"She wasn't always bad," the customer said, not looking at Emi. "When she had her red powder, she could be almost friendly. She wasn't a bad person, deep down. But then she'd go on a mission, and when she came back…" she hesitated, "she'd be angry, and cruel.

"I tried to run away, once before. She tracked me down within a day, and punished me, and said she'd turn me into a 'test subject' if I did it again, and that it would be worse than death."

Emi nodded sympathetically, keeping her emotions off her face. They were strong emotions, red hot and calling for blood. Some people, the thought was running through her head, simply shouldn't be allowed to exist.

"But I couldn't stand it anymore," the customer said after a pause. "Not after she…

"So when we stopped in a village to the west, and she was passed out from her red powder, I stole a horse… and I ran."

The customer looked up at her. "She's going to find me and kill me. I know she is. But I couldn't stand it anymore."

Emi forcibly unclenched her fists. "Not in Sarubetsu she isn't. I know somebody here who can help you."

"You think someone can help me?" the customer asked in heartbreaking disbelief.

Emi nodded. "Emiya Manako, our mayor. She's spent her life protecting people like us from the ninja. I know she can figure out a way to deal with the woman after you."

"Oh," the customer said. She looked at Emi with the beginnings of a new light in her eyes. "Please, tell me more. Tell me everything about her!"

Emi could feel herself relaxing at the question. She gave a light smile as she collected her thoughts.

"Manako is always very grounded. She's the kind of person who'll take a problem and break it down into bits until she finds a bit she can fix, and then before you know it, she's got the whole thing figured out. And she pays attention to everything. That's why she's so good at her job. She puts all the little things she notices together, and then she manages to outsmart ninja. She's not very patient when she thinks you're wasting her time, but she'll forgive you if you can make her laugh, and she has the most wonderful deadpan sense of humour."

Emi closed her eyes as she conjured an image of Manako in her mind's eye.

"She hates liars, and she can really hold a grudge, but she's a good judge of character. So if you're a good person, she'll give you the benefit of the doubt when you need it. Her favourite colour is pink, but she says it's green, even though she'd look really beautiful in pink. It's impossible to win an argument with her because she has a way of taking what you've said and repeating it back to you so you suddenly hear all the flaws in it. She has a wonderful voice, and she could have been a singer, but her parents talked her out of it because they said there was no money in singing. She still sings to herself when she thinks she's alone, and we all pretend we don't know. She loves watching the rain, but she's always got something important to do in the basement when there's a thunderstorm, except when the Kurogane boy got lost in the woods and she led everyone to look for him even though she had to hold my hand the whole time…"

She caught herself. Opening her eyes, she looked at the customer, who seemed to be staring at her with a curious expression.

"Don't get the wrong idea!" Emi said quickly, aware that her face was going red and trying to hurriedly move the blood back down into her body through sheer force of will. "We're just childhood friends. And anyway, we've hardly seen each other at all since she became mayor!"

The customer gave her first smile.

"She must be a very busy woman," she mercifully changed the subject.

Emi returned the smile wryly. "That she is. She even sleeps in the office on weekdays. She says she needs to be able to do the paperwork first thing in the morning while she's got the willpower. Then she spends the whole afternoon out, and the evening taking visitors. I don't know when she finds time to breathe."

"You said she looks out for people in trouble with ninja," the customer said warily. "Does that mean she doesn't have any ninja of her own?"

"Oh, she does," Emi said, then hurried to clarify at the customer's expression. "She has the Trinity, with a ninja bodyguard from each of the three clans in charge of Sarubetsu. That way, they're constantly keeping an eye on each other so nobody can seize an advantage, and they're always giving their best because if anything happens to her, the balance of power's going to collapse, and they'll be the scapegoats." She'd learned a great many things from Hinago Isshin, both from listening to him babble happily the night after his tryst with that Murano girl, and from the very audible goings-on during it.

"I don't know if I want to talk to her with other ninja standing around," the customer said worriedly. "What if they take that… that person's side?"

Emi gave this the consideration it deserved.

Finally, she tapped her fingers together.

"We'll make it a favour from her to me," she decided. "She'll talk in private to an old friend.

"Everything is going to be all right," she said, looking into the customer's entrancing blue eyes (You know, if you pull this off, she's going to be very grateful to you. Inner Emi, I swear I'd kill you if you weren't a figment of my imagination).

"Yes," the customer agreed, "yes, I think it is."
​

-o-
​

"Hazō-sensei!" Ishihara exclaimed. "We didn't expect you to join us so early."

Kagome winced to hear her loudly use Hazō's real name in hostile territory. Somebody—but absolutely not him—really needed to sit her down and have a talk about SOPs.

Hazo's face said much the same thing. The boy was growing.

"We talked to Haruo the Stickler," he said, "but it was like running into a brick wall."

Maybe not growing that fast, then, if he gave up at a solid obstacle without even trying to blow it up (granted, Kagome wasn't sure what the diplomacy equivalent of high explosives was, but Inoue at least proved that it existed).

"We tried, but we couldn't think of a single way to change the subject without being suspicious," Wakahisa explained. "It's like my brain just locked up. I was at the point where I had to rely on Mr Mew here for social tips."

"Excuse me?" Hazō snapped. "If you'd bothered studying my flowcharts before we headed out—"

"You mean the flowcharts that had such gems as 'ask him if he knows who's responsible for the recent disappearances, because that totally doesn't sound like we suspect him of aiding and abetting a serial killer?'"

"That's not what it said! I was just looking for clues in a—"

"Boys," Mori said flatly. "Did you acquire any useful information?"

"No, miss," Hazō and Wakahisa shuffled their feet like they'd just been caught carving interesting shapes into their school desks with a pocket knife.

But there was one person missing. Why was she missing? Wasn't she supposed to be rendezvousing with them alongside Hazō and Wakahisa? Had she been caught? Assaulted? Immobilised and then plied with Vermilion Sigh until she turned into one of those drug zombies they used in the southern countries?

"What about Inoue?" Kagome demanded. "Is she safe? Where is she? Why isn't she here?"

"Inoue-sensei is fine," Hazō said. "She's decided to carry out her plan today instead of taking extra observation time. But she told me in advance that she wouldn't be able to extract until late tonight, after everyone at the inn had gone to bed. So we shouldn't worry if she's late to the rendezvous point."

Kagome gave a reluctant nod. "If those stinking stinkers lay a finger on her…"

"Inoue-sensei is the greatest infiltrator I have ever met," Ishihara said seriously. "As members of her team, we have to trust in her skills. We must rely on her to do her job, just like she's relying on us to do ours."

Kagome didn't have much to say to that, so he just grunted in response.

One thing he really liked about the genin was how they didn't expect him to waste time on pointless words, the way his old team had back in… no, there was no need to think about that now. All in the past where it belonged. Even Ayako.

"If we are quite done questioning Inoue-sensei's abilities," Mori cut in, "perhaps we should attend to our own tasks?"

"Right," Hazō said. "What have you guys learned?"
​

-o-
​

It wasn't the worst town he had ever had to plan his way out of, Kagome reflected as he listened to Mori summarise their discoveries to the newcomers. There was a clear escape route over the slum roofs abutting the northern wall. Obviously, the local ninja would have trapped it to hell and back, but that kunai cut both ways—if he could detonate a few of those traps from range, the chain reaction would wipe out enough buildings for the team to escape in the chaos.

Then again, his teammates didn't seem to like collateral damage much. Too soft, but that was why it was Kagome's place to be the realist among them. They did things he couldn't—gave him things he couldn't—and for that he'd squeeze every last drop from his own hard-won skillset.

So if they wanted to go down the soft route, that would be the southeast. There'd been some recent demolition going on that way (they'd heard at the market that some old buildings had been taken down as unsafe), which meant clear terrain with no civilians to get in the way. All those lines of sight, though… he didn't fancy trying to cross open ground with missiles raining down on him.

No, better to hit the enemy hard and get out before the locals put together a security response at all. Mori had the right idea with those narrow, maze-like slum alleyways—if they scouted them out first, then led the enemy in, they'd have a huge terrain advantage, and his explosives would sing with those walls focusing the blasts. Though he'd decided not to mention this last part in case Ishihara started blathering about civilian casualties again.

Above all, they needed to stay out of the west. Rich people's houses, meaning plenty of patrols and tight defences. Unless they could frame Arikada for the destruction and draw the patrols down on her so she had to split her fire… no, that was a fool's game. Kagome was ashamed for even thinking it.

That left the question of priority targets, which for some reason everyone was looking to him for. Then again, he'd done this before. Central well. Granaries to the south. Warehouses to the southwest—he'd try making one of Hazō's experimental seals if at least some of those weren't yakuza property. Given a day to mine the place undisturbed, he could probably wipe this town off the map in infrastructure terms, without touching a single inhabited building.

Of course, "undisturbed" was always the hard part…

?d100 = 714

Click to shrink...

11d100 = 792

Click to shrink...

10d100 = 642

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 795

Click to shrink...

?d100 = 684

Click to shrink...

"Hold it right there."

Kagome glanced left and right.

One end of the street contained four ninja in red. The other contained three in blue. He'd let the team be cornered. He'd let the team be cornered.

"Your hunch was right, Minori," one of the ninja in red said. "Looks like waiting has netted us the entire team.

"So," he looked Kagome in the eye, "you've been wandering around town noting points of strategic importance, haven't you, my dear little spies. I thought it was just a coincidence at first, but then you were so blatant about it that even the Hinago over there," he gestured contemptuously, "weren't blind enough to miss you."

"Is barking all you can do, Irie dog?" a woman in blue snapped. "This is our territory, and the spies are our prisoners. We don't need your help, so why don't you slink off to whatever kennel you came from?"

Kagome would never let his team be taken prisoner, to be tortured and experimented on and used as lupchanzen fodder. Never. And as luck would have it, right now the enemies were focused on each other rather than on him. There wouldn't be a better chance.

Kagome thrust his hands into his pockets, slipping on the rings with a practised smoothness. The range was right. If he could just raise his arms in time—
​

-o-
​

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-o-
​

What do you do?

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[eaglejarl]

Chapter 76: A Thousand Shades of Stares​

The world flickered in Kei's mind as she plummeted into the ice, throwing memories and thoughts into it with reckless speed. No time to prepare, to brace herself. One thought: keep her team alive and unhurt. Mari-sensei would accept no less.

Possibilities and probabilities tumbled through her mind, borne up on the winter gale of the Voice.

Kagome would strike first. Surrender. Hazou would manage it.

Fight? No point. Easier just to give up. No. Confined space, boxed in front and back. Leap clear? So much effort; what's the point? The voice of Funaki-sensei from the Academy echoed in her mind: Ballistic target, easy target.

Memories of the Academy crowded in. [Needing family to protect her from bullies, always in the shadow of Ami's sunlit brilliance and easy charm.]

She rammed the memories out of the way, froze them in the ice and ground them to dust. Fighting wasn't a survivable option. Physical evasion wasn't either. Kawarimi? [Forty-six attempts before success. Ami needed three.] So exhausting. No targets. PMYF? Too slow at this range. Mist? No protection against bombardment. Enemy wouldn't care about hitting the clan across from them.

Can't run, can't fight. Alternative? Role models? Kagome: explosives. Mari-sensei?...supreme excellence: defeat the enemy without fighting. [Shaming yourself with infantile, impossible love and then losing control to the point where you admitted it? Idiot. Worthless fool.] Emotions, people, struggle...so exhausting. Sleep would be easier. Lie down, embrace the emptiness at your core. Will is struggle. Will is anger, suffering, and failure. Step aside from the world and know peace. Know the comfort of oblivion.

The Mori Voice shivered and retreated slightly as anger and self-loathing wound tendrils of hot fury through the cracks in the ice. [I bragged to Pantsaa about being in control, but where was the control when I blurted out those words and shattered the team?] The Voice returned, whispering louder, its seductive syllables gliding through the ice to wrap her in comforting arms that promised freedom from the self-contempt, from Noburi's still-angry eyes, from Akane's grating cheerfulness.

She dove deeper; was she fleeing the anger or driving forward to her goal? Either way is effort and misery. Give up, lay down the burden, be at peace in the ice. Oblivion is so easy, so comforting. She ignored the whispers and went deeper still, her thoughts speeding up as she went.

Can't fight, can't run, must break the enemy with words as Mari-sensei has taught. How? What do I know? The ice resisted her as she forced her brain to shift from the effortless analysis of probability into the churning mud of human modeling. [Your team dies when you get it wrong. And you will. Useless. Worthless. No self-discipline. Ami would be ashamed.] Sleep. Surrender. Let the world go on as it will. No one needs to know. It will all be over in moments if you simply do nothing.

She pushed past the Voice, pushed the memories aside, and forced her brain to go on, shackling it to her will and driving it mercilessly forward, always forward.

The enemy are arrogant, feeling in control. We must shake them. Bad cop / good cop. Noburi for good cop. Bad cop? Akane? {laugh} Hazou...no, Hazou must restrain Kagome.

From behind her she heard Hazou's voice. "Hold up, sensei. Let's see if we can talk first." Good, he had done the analysis. The raspy sound of his thumb scraping along his henged form's beard stubble said he had gone the rest of the way: Earthquake Black, the team's pre-arranged battle plan that meant 'hold for now, on the command kill anything that moves and demolish anything that doesn't.'

The clan ninja might not have understood the gesture, but they definitely understood the words. They immediately shifted into combat stances; empty hands conjured weapons or moved into handseal positions. It was going to start in seconds and there was only one person to do what was needful.

As deep in the ice as she was, as loud as the Voice thundered in her ears, the other voice still reached her. The inner voice that had nothing to do with her bloodline and everything to do with her endless string of failures. Worthless fool. Loser, clumsy, failure, just like the other children had chanted, their remembered laughter raking at Kei's memory with molten claws that made her want to curl up in shame. Now everything was depending on her to do the one thing no Mori could do: talk. Understand people, be confident and bold. So much trouble. The gears of fate are stronger than you; isn't it exhausting to resist them? Oblivion will come eventually...was it really worth all this effort to buy another few hours or days? [You'll listen to the ice, of course. Might as well, you weak-willed no-control idiot. You'll fail anyway, just like always. Your teammates will die because you're too useless, too stupid.] Let go. Let the world spin on, vast and uncaring. You are nothing but a speck; what does it matter if a speck vanishes? The battle between the shame of the voice and the contemptible apathy of the Voice threatened to shatter the ice around her and leave her defenseless.

The self-loathing blazed up. Contemptible. That was exactly the word for it. Would she fail? Perhaps, but the self-pity was a failure in its own right. Who was she to give up and let her friends die? Surrendering to the ice, that was the ultimate failure for a Mori. Generations of her clan had fought against it, and the ones who gave up were a stain on their family forever. They were whispered about, children were mocked for having a great-grandfather who had surrendered and their parents blushed in shame. No. She would never surrender to the ice. That was one failure she Would. Not. Allow. She was a Mori, and she was in control.

The leader of the Irie contingent stepped forward. "You will—"

Spoiler: Dice [spoiler for the action]

Keiko, Intimidation (Diplomacy + Thousand-Yard Stare):
15d100: 819

Noburi, Diplomacy:
12d100: 702

Irie leader, Diplomacy (Resist Intimidation + don't get railroaded):
?d100: 593

Hinago leader, Diplomacy (Resist Intimidation + don't get railroaded):
?d100: 619

Hazou, Diplomacy (Don't express shock at Keiko's speech):
?d100: 360

Noburi, Diplomacy (Don't express shock at Keiko's speech):
?d100: 692

Akane, Diplomacy (Don't express shock at Keiko's speech):
?d100: 309

Kagome, Diplomacy (Don't express shock at Keiko's speech):
?d100: 39

Target number (Don't express shock at Keiko's speech):
400

"We will do nothing," Kei said flatly. The rage at her near-surrender blended effortlessly with the ice and turned her thirty-year-old's henged voice into a frozen whip with which to scourge the enemy. Who were these puling villagers to threaten her self-control, to make her teeter on the brink of ultimate failure? The words erupted—perhaps not wise, perhaps not perfect, but needful. "You think you can threaten us? You think you can threaten me? My team killed every chakra beast from Fire's Swamp of Death to the jungles of Tea. We've crushed jounin, fought an entire village of ninja, and faced down Jiraiya of the Sannin. I stood my ground in front of Pantsaa of the Adamant Scales, the Boss Summon of the Pangolin Clan, and made him fear me. My comrade"—she waved to Hazou—"killed three chunin in single combat when he was only a few months out of the Academy. Our leader fought his way out of a prison designed to hold sealmasters. All that, and you think we're going to back down for some pissant village nin like you? Talk to us like reasonable people and we could be powerful allies, but do not imagine for even a moment that you can take our control from us. Try it and we'll blow your little mudhole into rubble and pick our teeth with the fragments."

Noburi kept his eyes forward and a smile on his face. The rest of the team blinked in astonishment and looked at Keiko with a mixture of shock (Akane, Hazou) and pride (Kagome).

The Irie leader didn't step back, but it was a near thing. She looked at her patrol mates, then at the Hinago team. She seemed to gather strength and braced herself. "Are you threatening us?" she sneered. "The odds don't favor you."

"Odds?!" Kagome growled. "Odds?! Don't tell me the odds, you stinker! I'll show you odds! I'll show you so many odds you'll need to pick your eyeballs up to count them! Except you won't be able to because you'll be splashed—"

Hazou closed a hand on Kagome's bicep and shook him slightly. "Sensei," he said carefully. "Please breathe. We're still talking. We don't have to kill anyone yet."

Kagome turned and Looked at him, eyes wide and wild. "But—"

"Sensei," Hazou said. "Breathe." He took a deep breath as an example and let it out slowly, keeping his eyes soft but locked with Kagome's.

Kagome snarled but followed his student's example.

"Hey there," Noburi said, stepping forward towards the Irie leader and spreading his arms placatingly. His henged form's face was battered and weathered, but the smile was open and the laugh lines around the eyes invited friendship. "I'm Ajibana Akira, and I'm the calm one who doesn't go in for drama." He chuckled. "How about everyone takes a breath and we talk for a second?" He paused, turning to look back at the Hinago leader with an extended, inviting hand. The Sarubetsu ninja didn't say anything, but a tiny bit of the tension in the air seemed to dissolve.

Noburi shrugged casually. "Look, we're just here to do some trade. We've got a bunch of cash burning a hole in our pockets and a lot of stuff we need to buy. You guys are the best source of...certain medicines...for a hundred miles in any direction, and everything else we need is available as well. Were we scouting around? Yes, absolutely. We're looking for ways to E&E the city if we need to. My friend here is a little dramatic, but she makes the point pretty well: we've dealt with a lot of trouble over the years and it's made us a little jumpy. We like to know that we can get out quickly if we have to, and we don't want to fight in a city. Our fights tend to be...noisy. We don't want that kind of collateral damage on our conscience."

"Not something I worry about," Kagome grumbled. Hazou tightened his grip and his teacher went sulkily quiet.

"Hmph. That sounds unlikely to me," said the Hinago leader, obviously making a conscious effort to regain some control. "If all you wanted was safety, why didn't you talk to the Murano, or to us? The Hinago clan could have shown you the city and explained why you shouldn't mingle with these Irie dogs."

"Stop yapping or I'll come muzzle you myself!" the Irie leader snapped.

"I'd like to see you try it!" the Hinago snorted. "You Irie can't stand up to a bunch of children. You can't even—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Noburi said, patting the air calmingly. "We are breathing, exhaling stress and distraction, inhaling calm and peace. Right? Inhaling...exhaling...great. Look, we don't need to do this here. How about if we go grab a cup of tea, maybe a little ramen, and talk? You could tell us about the city, fill us in on how things work and what we should and shouldn't do. We don't want to step on any toes, we just want to buy some stuff and then we're gone and out of your hair." The smile widened and the voice became wheedling. "I'll buy the first round."

Glances were exchanged among the village nin; among their own clan questioning, between the groups glowering. Still, the tension slacked further.

"All right," the Hinago leader said. "There's a good place just back here."

"Pah!" the Irie leader said. "You're talking about Umaki's on Hinago turf, aren't you? Swill! I wouldn't feed that stuff to a pig!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Noburi said, as weapons came out again. "How about a neutral place? Somewhere on Murano territory, maybe?"

The Irie and the Hinago glowered at one another.

"Fine," the Hinago leader grunted. "We'll go to Yoichi's. But you're buying."

---

XP AWARD: 13

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, October 19, 2016, at 12pm London time.

 

[Velorien]

Chapter 77: Tangled Lies and Heartfelt Truth
by @Velorien​

"So," Noburi said light-heartedly, trying to ignore the death-threatening glares passing between the two Rice ninja teams, "what's this place you're taking us to?"

"It's a decent enough watering hole," a middle-aged Hinago commented. His age and extensive scars instinctively made Hazō label him one of the most dangerous people present. "The seats are comfortable, it never gets too noisy, and say what you like about the Murano, even the biggest drunks don't dare start fights in bars on their territory."

The Irie leader nodded, the scowl on her face giving way to a somewhat distant expression. "And Master Yoichi's okonomiyaki is to die for. The man is a genius, a culinary virtuoso, and when you see his magic fingers dancing over the grill…"

She broke off as she registered the stares, some of them from her own team, and went a little red.

The rest of the walk was conducted in an awkward silence.

-o-
​

A new problem arose once they arrived at the bar. There was no difficulty with treating the Rice ninja to drinks, as agreed, but Kagome-sensei didn't drink in hostile territory as a matter of principle (which is to say he was virtually teetotal), and Hazō was fairly sure Inoue-sensei would kill him and the other genin if she heard about them subjecting their still-developing metabolisms to alcohol in a crisis situation.

"Are you saying you're too good to drink with the likes of us?" a red-haired Hinago woman demanded. "Or are you doubting the quality of Yoichi's sake after we went to the trouble of bringing you here?"

"Cool it, Ren," the Hinago leader said. "You sound like an Irie. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this apparent violation of the most basic social and diplomatic conventions. Right?"

"Ah, yes," Hazō said quickly, his brain racing. "The thing with that is..."

Inoue-sensei Teaching no. 7: "If you don't think you can lie convincingly, weaponise the truth."

"…our leader has set a no-tolerance policy for drinking while on the job," Hazō said. "Uh, not that we're here on a job or anything."

Noburi shot him a pitying glance. "In short," he took over, "we'd love to share a drink with you, we really would, but we'd be breaking our own rules if we did it in the middle of what could be an important negotiation. So you'd be doing us a huge favour if you let it go just this once, OK?"

An Irie, the man who'd acted as his team's spokesman earlier, gave a sardonic half-smile. "Well, Ajibana, unlike our counterparts here, the Hinago don't intend to pass judgement on the drinking habits of strangers. With that said, shouldn't your leader speak for himself?"

The Irie turned to Kagome-sensei, who of course looked oldest out of the group.

(Inoue-sensei Teaching no. 32: "When you don't need to be extra-disguised, stick to your own gender, age group and body type. Nothing gives the game away faster to a smart observer than an accidental body language mismatch.")

"You, sir, are the leader, are you not? The man who, if I remember right, broke out of a prison designed to hold sealmasters?"

Kagome-sensei's eyes bulged as the attention of seven potential hostiles focused on him at close range. "What? Me? Nonono, you've got the wrong man! I'm not a sealmaster! You've got no proof! I've never seen a seal in my life!"

Hazō inwardly facepalmed and opened his mouth to run damage control. There was only one obvious way of saving this situation, and it had to be done fast. "Actually…"

"I'm the leader of the group," Akane beat him to it. "And this man," she gestured to Kagome-sensei, "is just my overly humble apprentice."

"You?" The Irie man looked sceptically between her and Kagome-sensei who was (probably) over twice her age. "Aren't you still in your teens?"

"Yes," Akane said proudly. "That's why they call me the Most Youthful Sealmistress."

There was a sudden choking noise from Keiko's corner of the table, which quickly turned into a cough.

"Is there really a prison designed specially to hold sealmasters?" the youngest Irie, a boy with a mop of brown hair barely older than Hazō himself, asked curiously.

Akane frowned, clearly struggling to think of her next step.

"Are you kidding?" Kagome-sensei burst out. "How can you not know the stories of Muri Fortress? A secret offshore prison, hidden deep in the Water Country, where Hidden Mist holds the world's most dangerous sealmasters captive, using their powers…"

"…to reinforce the crumbling barriers protecting our reality from the horrors outside, or, some say, to summon those horrors and try to bind them to the Mizukage's will," Kagome-sensei and an Irie woman ("Minori"?) finished in unison.

Kagome-sensei and Minori looked at each other, startled, then suspicious, then realising they were holding each other's gaze and recoiling.

The Hinago leader raised an eyebrow. "Assuming this is true, and you are an exceptionally dangerous sealmistress known to consort with cosmic abominations, why should we not eliminate you here and now for our own country's safety? It'll be a shame about the bar, but the Murano will understand once we explain the situation."

"That would be unwise," Keiko spoke up for the first time in the conversation. "Kasuga-sensei may joke about her age and favour a 'youthful' appearance, but she has spent decades refining her dead man's switch seals. And I understand this town and the fields around it are of value to your clans."

There was a sigh from the Irie leader. "This is why Hinago diplomats are an embarrassment to this entire country. We've got a super-deadly sealmistress, the apprentice of a super-deadly sealmistress, a girl who, reading between the lines, is a pangolin summoner, and two kids who are probably about to turn out to be Uchiha Itachi and a jinchūriki at this rate, and your first response is to threaten them?

"I'm sorry my opposite number is an idiot, guys. I promise that if the Irie were to consider you a threat, we'd treat you with the proper respect and strike without warning."

(Behind her, the Irie boy whispered to Minori. "What's a pangolin?"

"Killer shellfish," Minori whispered back.)

That was the last straw for Hazō. He had to take back control of this meeting, otherwise he might as well just throw away his plan and start sketching out a new one on the tablecloth.

"Please," he said, raising his hands slowly. "I appreciate that we're all on edge here, but my group is here for a reason. As we mentioned, we've travelled to Sarubetsu for specific reasons—to purchase local medicines, and perhaps also to rest and resupply before we move on, circumstances permitting. If there is some kind of protocol we need to follow, channels to go through, individuals to speak to, then we would really appreciate it if you explained them to us. We're perfectly fine with following the rules, making a mutually beneficial exchange, and conducting our business in a non-disruptive manner before we leave. Is that OK with you?"

"I like this one," the older Hinago man said quietly. "Respectful, straightforward and polite. I think all of us could do worse than follow his example."

"Quite," the Irie man drawled. "As someone with no fewer than three dates lined up tonight, I feel this meeting has been dragging on. Now, as visiting ninja, you'll be wanting to head to the Irie compound at the heart of the Western Quarter. Ask anyone for directions—the Irie have a long and proud history in this town." He cast a contemptuous look at the Hinago side. "Ask for Irie Shintarō, and tell him Shūji sent you. He'll have you registered so there are no more entertaining little misunderstandings like this one, and can direct you to one of our licensed vendors. You'll get Sarubetsu's signature product at high quality and unmatched prices etc. etc.

"Is there anything else, or am I about to learn that we could have skipped this entire farce with a single minute's exposition?"

"Don't listen to that Irie scumbag," Ren the now slightly drunk redhead cut in. "So what if we haven't been in Sarubetsu as long? At least we don't count on back-alley muggers and rapists to do our dirty work for us! You want your medicine trickling through those filthy civilian hands, processed by amateurs and then slapped with a markup the size of the Akoma ego? By all means drink from the Irie trough! Or you could buy top-quality, perfectly refined Vermilion Sigh from experts in phamoca—pharamoco—pharaca—drugs, and even if it's a little more expensive, at least your money will be funding better medical research instead of buying the yakuza more whores!"

Irie Minori leapt up, kunai in hand. "You want me to cut your throat, Hinago bitch?!"

Ren's hand went to her weapons pouch.

Within the blink of an eye, every ninja in the room was on their feet and positioned for combat, Hazō's group once again uncomfortably caught in the middle.

Any second now, somebody was going to go for a pre-emptive strike…

"Stop it!"

All of the deadly tension in the room focused on Akane.

"Captain Irie," she said, "if you fight now, you're going to destroy this bar, and then you won't be able to have okonomiyaki here anymore."

The Irie leader (who may or may not have been a captain) winced.

"You," Akane went on, looking from one Irie to the next, "are going to miss your dates. You shouldn't be standing on a table people eat their meals off. You should know that a pangolin is a kind of mammal."

She pivoted around to the Hinago.

"You still haven't told us how we can get medicine from the Hinago. You shouldn't be drinking on the job if you can't hold your liquor. And you…" she hesitated, facing the middle-aged man… "you should be old enough to know better!"

Akane's own team stared at her in awe.

"Kasuga-sensei?" Keiko asked cautiously.

"I'm sorry," Akane said in a put-upon voice, "but it seemed like we were finally getting somewhere, and then one wrong word and everybody has their weapons out again. Can't we all just talk like normal people? I'm not even asking anybody to be youthful, but... would it be too much to ask to have a single encounter with unfamiliar ninja that doesn't end up breaking out into violence?"

The Irie and the Hinago stood still. Hazō could see them doing the maths. Super-deadly sealmistress. Constant violence. Super-deadly sealmistress who is still alive despite same. And who is now upset with them.

And the best part? Akane was following Inoue-sensei Teaching no. 7 to a tee, possibly without even trying.

As the tension began to drain, Akane gestured around the room. "And you've scared off all the other customers. Is this how you behave in a bar in somebody else's territory?"

Actually, the majority of the customers had fled over the course of the conversation, but Hazō didn't see any need to point this out.

After a long silence, the Hinago leader lowered her weapon. "Our headquarters is the Shiwa Building in the Eastern Quarter. Ask for Ichiru. And… tell her Junko said to give you the loyal customer discount. Assuming you're going to be a loyal customer."

"Thank you," Akane said primly. "Let's go, everyone."

Nobody tried to stop them.
​

-o-
​

Later, after a long and circuitous route back to the base…
​

"Stay transformed all the time?" Kagome-sensei asked, looking at Hazō as if Hazō had just announced his upcoming betrothal to the Mizukage. "Do you want your brain to explode and trickle out of your ears? What do you think's going to happen if you pour an entire day's worth of experiences into your brain every night for weeks or months or years? Brain. Kersplat. If you're lucky. Worse if you're not."

He gave Hazō another incredulous look, then turned away as if to mark the conversation over.

​

-o-​

"Akane, that was amazing," Hazō said as the two of them sat by the fire waiting for Inoue-sensei to return (while Noburi kept watch, Kagome-sensei lurked in a corner thinking about Kagome-sensei things, and Keiko beat herself up for her terrible information security skills). "You probably saved lives back there."

Akane shook her head. "Thanks, Hazō-sensei, but it wasn't, really. I lost my temper in a sensitive situation.

"I… just… is it always going to be like this? I thought the 'meet interesting people; kill them' recruitment slogan was supposed to be a joke, but when you look back at our record…

"Is it because we're missing-nin?" she suddenly asked. "Is that why we're always ending up in situations where everyone is hostile and suspicious and ready to kill us at the drop of a hat?"

Hazō remembered Jiraiya's words. "Akane, are you thinking about taking Jiraiya's offer?"

Akane looked down at her hands. "Hazō-sensei, I love all of you. I don't want to leave any of you behind. But I do have family in Leaf who must be worried sick about me, and friends I miss, and him, and… I know we have all these amazing youthful plans about making the world a better place, but… lately it seems like we've just been stumbling from one disaster to the next, and Leaf has people like Jiraiya who want to make the world a better place and are actually managing it, and when I think about being part of a system that can really change the world…"

Hazō swallowed.

"But if I leave you," Akane went on, "what if something happens to you, and I could have made a difference? What if I'm not there when you need me, and somebody gets hurt or killed? And then when I think about watching Inoue-sensei learning to be happy, and seeing Kagome come out of his shell bit by bit, and Keiko finding her strength and Noburi lighting everything up and… and you, Hazō-sensei, and I imagine losing all of that forever… I just don't know what to do."

"Akane," Hazō said after taking a little time to sort out his thoughts, and a little more to gather the courage to express them. "If you decide to leave, then I will miss you. I will really miss you. You are the best apprentice ever, and you make everything better just by being here. Asking you to join us could be the best decision I've ever made—or at least," his natural honesty compelled him to say, "second best after deciding to go with Inoue-sensei instead of being killed by Captain Zabuza.

"But… this is about your happiness, not mine." It was a hard sentence to say, harder than it should have been. The next few would be even worse.

"You'll be safer in Leaf, and you'll have a constant income and a stable, structured life. And you'll get to be with your parents. I can't dismiss how important those things are. So if you decide that you want to go back to Leaf and become a village ninja, I will understand, and I will support you in any way I can, and all the rest of us will too. We will understand and support you no matter what you decide to do."

Hazō found himself trembling a little. Why did it hurt to say these things? He knew they were the right things to say.

Then, before he could figure out where to go from here, he suddenly found himself engulfed in a hug by a teary-eyed Akane.

"Hazō-sensei!"

Tentatively, he hugged Akane back, then more firmly as he took in the reassuring solidity of her. At least for now, she was here, with him.

Eventually, after a long time of taking comfort in each other's proximity, he pulled his hands back to her shoulders, and, holding them, gently pushed her out to arm's length. There was one more thing that needed to be said.

Hazō looked Akane in the eye.

"Akane, you're wrong about one thing. I know we've had a poor track record so far, but I promise you this. We will change the world, and we will make it better than Leaf or Jiraiya ever could."
​

-o-
​

"Well ahead of schedule," Inoue-sensei beamed. "You kids really are early bloomers."

It was at this point that Hazō became aware that Akane was practically in his lap, and that he was holding her tightly while gazing into her eyes and saying something in a low, intense voice.

"In-Inoue-sensei, it's not like that!" Hazō stammered while hurriedly pushing Akane away. "We were just—"

"Hazō-sensei," Akane said calmly. "She knows."

Inoue-sensei rolled her eyes. "Spoilsport. I guess I'm going to have to up my game with you around."

Hazō felt a chill, like a drop of cold autumn rain running down his spine. "Oh, no. Akane, what have you done?"

"Oh, this'll be great!" Inoue-sensei practically skipped into the base. "I can put on an air of innocence while tormenting you psychologically, and you can live your life in a twilight state of gradually losing your touchstones for what is real and constantly asking whether your own mind is lying to you! It will be like Remedial History with Sakadzuka-sensei all over again!"

"All right," Akane said, watching her retreating back, "that was more effective."
​

-o-
​

"So Noburi tells me that thanks to you, the Sarubetsu clans think there's a different deadly missing-nin sealmistress in town to buy Vermilion Sigh," Inoue-sensei said. "Nice going, kids. That's going to make using my new cover… interesting."

"How did your plan go, Inoue-sensei?" Hazō asked.

"Piece of cake. Play up the sympathy angle, present a stark moral choice, dollop out the information at a rate that lets them fill in the blanks with their imagination… oh, and playing an abuse victim is great—you get a cast-iron explanation why you don't want to be touched, why you want to sleep in a room with a locked door… it makes maintaining a disguise so easy. Maybe I should do it more often. Or will that just make me get lazy?"

Inoue-sensei registered the uncomfortable looks.

"Oh, for the… kids, you're ninja. Nothing is immoral, nothing is off-limits when you've got a job to do. That's the kind of thinking that'll get you killed.

"Look, let's move on. We should talk tactics, then I'm heading back to the Firefly Inn so I can actually get some sleep and be there for Emi to wake me up in the morning.

"Hazō," she proclaimed, casting a hand forth majestically, "bring out the lists!"
​

-o-
​

"Full frontal, huh?" Inoue-sensei considered. "Well, it's an option. But it's got good odds of drawing hostile attention from the clans, plus it would be easy to kill Arikada. And, of course, it begs the question of what I've been doing all day."

"What about Plan B?" Keiko asked. "More defensive-style combat after an initial surprise strike, here on Sheets Three and Four."

"I'd like to finally test my new Vampiric Dew skills," Noburi said. "If it works, it'll be proof of concept for a whole new fighting style."

"Higher odds of survival for us," Inoue-sensei said. "A good feature of any plan. A longer fight also means more time for Arikada to figure out how to make optimal use of the seals she's prepared, of course. Also more time for the clans to notice the fight, which they will once the explosives start going off.

"Plan C is more interesting. You and I are both making good inroads with the Sarubetsu worthies. If we can figure out, or for that matter influence, where Arikada gets her drugs, then manage to mess with those, then it's an instant victory for us, bar any issues with her guards. Either way, it would eliminate the biggest threat.

"But what we're doing is shifting the work forwards in time and making more of it social. It's still going to be tricky finding the right drug dealer, and more tricky to convince them to meddle with their own product. That sort of thing can kill a reputation fast, so we'd need to either make it worth their while or bypass them entirely with our stellar stealth skills. Still, it's a plan worthy of a ninja.

"As for Plan D… Hazō, you are hereby banned from making any more illustrations of Noburi draining sleeping women with his Water Whip. Ever.

"That aside, Noburi's ability served us well back in Hot Springs, and I'd love to see what it can do at its full potential. But… Noburi, was this your suggestion?"

Noburi nodded sheepishly.

"Looks like you still have some things to learn from Hazō, kid," Inoue-sensei reached out without looking and ruffled Hazō's hair, getting him just as he was distracted filing away his notes for Plan A.

"Great, so we're next to an open door or window to the room where the target's asleep. That's ninety percent of the work already done. How do we find out where she's staying? How do we make sure she's asleep? How do we make sure there's a slightly open door or window? How do we get to it, and stay there, without being spotted?"

Noburi cringed.

"With that said," Inoue-sensei said mercifully, "your plan does accomplish one important thing. Hands up, class, who can tell me?"

Kagome started to raise his hand, then quickly put it down again.

"Kagome?"

"Uh," Kagome grunted. "She can't use any active-trigger seals?"

Inoue-sensei nodded. "It's the difference between facing you on a battlefield you've prepared, and walking onto the same battlefield while there's no one there."

"Inoue-sensei," Hazō said uncomfortably, "you're making it sound like the difference between suicide and… well, slightly less suicide."

Inoue-sensei nodded. "And that is the other thing we need to figure out how to deal with before we try to sneak into a paranoid sealmistress's room at night."
​

-o-
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You have received 7 XP.
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What now?

Voting closes at 9 am on Saturday 22nd of October, Eastern Standard Time.

Edit: Note changed time.​