[x] Grab the goblin who booped us. Use him to beat the rest of the goblins to death.
-[X] reshape your hand for a better grip.
- [X] Quote relevant meme
 
[X] Reshape your sword into a guitar-axe, and hack away while you shapeshift the strings to make a righteous solo of retribution.
 
[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can't even damage us through our armour.
-[X] Laugh Maniacally
--[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
---[X] And watch out for traps!
 
[x] Grab the goblin who booped us. Use him to beat the rest of the goblins to death.
-[X] reshape your hand for a better grip.
- [X] Quote relevant meme
 
Goblin on Goblin Action
The goblin whose sword bounced off your armour stare up at you, shivering with fear. You grab its thin, bony wrists and heft it over your head. The goblin screams and thrashes madly in your grab. You ignore it. It's time to beat a motherfucker with anther motherfucker, as Samuel L Jackson would declare.

A goblin is not a suitable weapon for a Knight of Order. The proportions are all off.

You take a swing with your new goblin friend, just a basic horizontal swipe at the goblins right in front of you. The goblin in your hands shrieks a warning and hugs itself tight to your wrists. You buffet maybe one goblin but you really doubt that you injured any of them, not even the one you're swinging around like it's nothing.

Look, it's struggling! Weapons shouldn't struggle it makes them highly ineffective.
Oh be quiet and enjoy the absurdity.

The four goblins still on their feet exchange glances then hurl themselves at you, a whirling ball of flailing limbs and weapons. One misses you completely, jerking away when it seems it might hurt the one you're brandishing. The other three smash into your left like the wrecking ball of the gods.

"Argh!" You stagger back, thrown off balance and flail at your attackers wildly. More screaming fills the cave as your goblin attempts to clamber up your arms like an over size monkey. Your grip remains tight but your ability to hit anything with your improvised weapon is still less than stellar.

The other goblins are actually laughing at you know, high, breathy cackles that annoy you far more than they intimidate. They lunge at you as like one entity again.

This time two careen past you, missing completely. One you block, if you can call your captured goblin grabbing its friend and hanging on like mad 'blocked'. The other strikes you full on the chest with a clash of metal on crystal that would have set your teeth on edge if you had any.

There's a long thin scratch down your breastplate now and the goblin that did it looks inordinately pleased with itself.

You have a feeling that perhaps using a goblin as a weapon was not one of your better ideas.

Told you so.

80/110
100/100
38/100

[ ] Continue with beating goblins with other goblins! You can make this work, you know you can!

[ ] New plan? Possibly involving a more traditional weapon.

[ ] Retreat! The others have to be nearly caught up with you now, you could use their help with this. Only a little mind.

The dice were displeased with your idea...
 
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[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can't even damage us through our armour.
-[X] With a sword, not a goblin.
--[X] Laugh Maniacally
---[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
----[X] And watch out for traps!

Back to plan me then?

Edit: Specified sword because too much ham ruins a sandwich.
 
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I will assume you continue to use goblin-fu if you don't specify otherwise, mostly because I find it amusing :)
 
[X] Reshape your sword into a guitar-axe, and hack away while you shapeshift the strings to make a righteous solo of retribution.

C-c-c-copy paste!
 
[jk] Continue with beating goblins with other goblins! You can make this work, you know you can!

They're not exactly hurting us, so we may as well get a handle on using People shaped uncooperative weapons while in a relatively safe environment. I do not believe there are any time factors at the moment. If there are then I would like to take a more efficient method, but I believe we are just delving ATM, so no hurry.

Edit: Put in X instead of JK in vote box, see below why this is a stupid vote, and why I may be a little sarcastic about us going full silly fighting instead of just slaughtering a path to our friend. Note, the X really puts a whole different spin on the post, so I can easily see where my attempt didn't work.
 
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[X] Continue with beating goblins with other goblins! You can make this work, you know you can!

They're not exactly hurting us, so we may as well get a handle on using People shaped uncooperative weapons while in a relatively safe environment. I do not believe there are any time factors at the moment. If there are then I would like to take a more efficient method, but I believe we are just delving ATM, so no hurry.
Can't tell if sarcastic or not.

Lady friend/summoner got kidnapped, blood was seen at the scene, goblins can generally pierce robes and human flesh better than they do crystal daedra.

In short, yes we have time constraints. Yes we are in a hurry.
 
[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
-[X] And watch out for traps!
[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can hardly manage to damage us through our armour.
-[X] With a sword, not a goblin.
--[X] Laugh Maniacally
---[X] Use healing magic while wakling (or running) deeper into the lair after a fight
 
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[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
-[X] And watch out for traps!
[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can hardly manage to damage us through our armour.
-[X] With a sword, not a goblin.
--[X] Laugh Maniacally

This is a much better plan than what I was slowly cooking up on my phone. It even has laughter in it.​
 
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..... I might have forgotten to put in the health numbers. Sorry :( So uh @dunk1010 @Yorick's Skull @NeverDies and @redzonejoe y'all might want to glance at the update again. Sorry again :(
Note: Goblins may be able to damage us if we wave one of them around and otherwise allow them to dogpile us nearly uncontested

Vote suggestion: replace "can't even damage us" with "Can hardly manage to damage us", add in a pause to heal after combat.

New vote!

[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
-[X] And watch out for traps!
[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can hardly manage to damage us through our armour.
-[X] With a sword, not a goblin.
--[X] Laugh Maniacally
---[X] Use healing magic while wakling (or running) deeper into the lair after a fight
 
[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
-[X] And watch out for traps!
[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can hardly manage to damage us through our armour.
-[X] With a sword, not a goblin.
--[X] Laugh Maniacally
---[X] Use healing magic while walking (or running) deeper into the lair after a fight
 
[X] If a goblin won't work as a weapon, that's because it was obviously meant to be used as a shield! Use our sword as our weapon and our goblin as our shield for now.
-[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
--[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can hardly manage to damage us through our armour while we are searching.
---[X] And watch out for traps!
----[X] Laugh Maniacally
-----[X] Use healing magic while walking (or running) deeper into the lair after a fight
 
[X] Remember that we're here to save somebody, get back on that asap
-[X] And watch out for traps!
[X] Relentlessly slaughter these pathetic animals who can hardly manage to damage us through our armour.
-[X] With a sword, not a goblin.
--[X] Laugh Maniacally
---[X] Use healing magic while wakling (or running) deeper into the lair after a fight
 
Moving onwards
No more fooling around. You need to get on and rescue Morlia quickly and using a goblin as a weapon is not a good way of doing that any time soon. You let the squirming thing go and redraw your sword. The urge to use to goblin as a shield briefly crosses your mind. It would probably be effective but you kinda want to keep both hands free in case you need to spin to win at some point.

With squeals the two rats leap up, fuzzy brown lightning. You bat one aside, gauntlet smashing into it's side with a crunch. The other hits you full in the helmet nose first. For a moment you're stunned, matted brown fur filling your vision. Wildly you lash out with your sword, as fast as you can.

Impact jars up your arms once then twice and then again and two goblin voices start to shriek in pain before cutting off with a gurgle. The rat falls away, squeaking in rodently pain, and you wrench your sword back out of a goblin. Your elbow smacks into the face of a goblin trying to creep up behind you in a way that was totally deliberate.

It lands on its rear with a squeal and the rats coil up to jump up at you again.

Yeah, that's not happening. Your sword darts out, two quick stabs. Bone crunches under the hilt of your sword twice. Pests exterminated.

Now there's just the goblin on the ground. You punch out with your sword again. The goblin rolls away, contorting like an eel to escape. Impact jars up your arms again as sword crashes off stone. The goblin rises and skitters back, sword in hand.

There's something crafty in this goblins eyes and stance, it's low and its sword arm arches up and over like a scorpion's tail with the blade itself the wicked sting at the end. With an insectile skitter the goblin lunges at you. You don't have time to parry, all you manage is to block with one hand. The sword punctures right through your palm.

You strike yourself, a wild uncontrolled swipe at the goblin's head. The goblin ducks around, still clinging to the sword embedded in your gauntlet. It wrenches your arm around till it's behind you.

With a cry of frustration you lash out wildly at it over and over, twisting and turning to get the damn thing in sight. The goblin clings to its sword and scuttles to keep the rest of you between it and your sword.

Frustration turns to fury and you wrench your arm in front of you. The sword slips out of your palm and you spin. You don't care where the goblin is you are going to get it!

There's a gurgle. The goblin is almost bisected.

That's the last and you start running, white and blue energy spiralling around you as you spam your healing spell.

The tunnel this time is straight and you can see a warm orange light at the end. You push faster, you have to save Morlia. Faster, faster, faster. You pound down the tunnel like a champion racehorse down the home straight. Crystal crashes and clangs against gravel and stone. All hope of stealth is gone.

On the brighter side you neither see nor trip any traps!

With a roar you burst through into the next open cavern. Five goblins hurl thick corded nets at you. "NOPE!" Before the nets can do more than brush your armour you're slicing huge gaping holes in them.

Pieces of rope flutter down around you almost like confetti. The goblins that threw them take several steps back.

This cavern is larger than the previous one and there's a chasm running through the middle of it. A bridge, crudely made of ropes by the goblins, connects the two sides. There's a pair of goblins with axes on the other side, poised to cut the ropes that hold the bridge up. Seven more with spears lurk beyond the two with axes.

Five with you and nine on the other side. You can handle this.

...Right?

109/110
59/100
18/100
[ ] What do?

Dat one goblin had the dice gods with him I swear. his last stand was both hilarious and awesome :lol
 
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Hmm.

How tight is the tunnel we just ran through? I'm thinking we bait them into a narrow area where they have to come at us in small groups and can't surround us.

We stab at them, or use a short sword or a hand-axe or something fitting for the size of the tunnel, and basically 300 vs the persian army at them until backup arrives or they all die.
 
Yeah that works.

[X] Back up into the tunnels, keeping the goblins in front of you
-[X] don't let them get behind us!
--[X] Kill them as they come, but general focus on survivbility. Keep them in their place and wait for your allies to arrive (unless we manage to kill them all)
---[X] If they do any significant damage, prove hard to kill, or simply die very easily, consider new tactics.
 
[X] Back up into the tunnels, keeping the goblins in front of you
-[X] don't let them get behind us!
--[X] Kill them as they come, but general focus on survivbility. Keep them in their place and wait for your allies to arrive (unless we manage to kill them all)
---[X] If they do any significant damage, prove hard to kill, or simply die very easily, consider new tactics.
 
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