Now it's time for super powered ww2. Though the Nazis should get a tinker to make advanced stuff, and the Americans should get someone with strength like super man.
Lobotomy Solves Everything (Worm/Antman CRACK SI)
- Thread starter Numen
- Start date
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
The SS gets more metal.
Duburu
Simurgh Survivor
Interlude Private Hebert
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Interlude Private Hebert
"DIE MOTHERFUCKING KRAUTS", I roared at the enemy line I was charging, firing my machine gun in bursts. Enemies dropped before me.
Okay, so, technically, my family is from Germany, but these days that's not something anyone want to emphasize. Germany is taboo now.
So I joined in on the anti-kraut club. Fucking Nazis, they ruined a perfectly fine country.
Oh shit, a German was lining up for a shot, I tried to dive for cover-
BAM, the German exploded as a beam of light tore him apart.
"Grandpa Kyle, what are you doing!", screamed the crazy masked future guy. Daniel (I refuse to think about his surname, because frankly, the crazy guy is NOT my family. No sir).
He marched up to me and poked me in the chest, "I told you specifically to NOT die. So why are you charging the enemy line!?"
I got angry then. The famous Hebert temper rearing it's ugly head.
"Look grandson", I said the word with contempt, "I am trying to contribute to the fucking war effort. To support my comrade in arms. To fight for my country. To free Europe. To kill fucking Nazis" And to redeem the German blood that flows through my veins.
"So",I poked him in the chest hard with each word, "Stop. Getting. In. My. Way."
He stared at me with his four creepy yellow lenses.
"Are you two cunts done measuring your cocks, or are we going to kill Nazis?", that was Lieutenant Pitt cutting into arguments the typical way he knew how- by being a bigger dick.
Daniel grunted and turned away, hand stroking his stomach area, where we patched him up after he fainted a few days ago.
--------------------------------------------------------------
2 weeks later
We first head the reports of the "Iron Wolf" a couple of weeks later. Most dismissed it as rumours, but Daniel acted awfully concerned about it for some reason.
Then we came across a village and saw the mutilated corpses.
"What the actual fuck!", Bob commented, staring at a nude women, her bottom half torn to shreds hanging from a utility pole.
"The Nazis do not like deserters. Or Women who refuse to send their children to war as part of their last ditch attempt", Pitt explained.
It was then that I noticed Daniel was shaking.
"Daniel? What's wrong man?", I asked. I mean sure I don't like the guy, he's crazy. But he's part of the squad, and that has to count for something.
He explained and it sent a shudder through my guts, "Hookwolf was here. I know these wounds."
"Hookwolf?"
"A Nazi. From the future. He can turn into a metal wolf with flexible metal hooks, spines, spikes and blades erupting from his body to reduce his victim to shreds. Loves to fight. Loves to kill."
Fucking Nazis.
He paused, and then pointed at something that escaped my notice, too caught up in the carnage I was witnessing.
"What's bothering me...is what the fuck is that doing here!?"
He was pointing at some kind...Steam contraption, billowing smoke from some kind of engine. Nearby, coils wounded around two spires sticking out of the ground, like curved horns. Electricity danced between them.
"What is that? Some kind of new German wunder machine?", Pitt approached it.
Daniel shook his head, "No. That's tinkertech. But that's not possible. Only Hookwolf and I traveled back in time. It's not possible for other parahumans- er, that is to say, people with superpowers like me, to be here, in this time period".
Pitt growled, "If the Nazis have future technology, we are in serious trouble."
"It's more than future technology. Even in the future, this stuff is not possible for us normally. They are built by special parahumans called Tinkers who have the intuitive ability to create advanced technology. Actually, the technology is from the recorded technological information of extinct Alien Civilizations . It's hard to explain."
Time travel, Future Nazis, my grandson, and now Aliens. Great. Just fucking great.
Suddenly the electricity between the two spires increased, creating a humming that gew steadily louder.
"Whoa, whoa!", Bob pointed his gun at it, and Pitt started backing off, yelling out commands, "I want eyes on this thing, somebody call the Tank over, I think it might be a very very damn good idea to blow it up-"
Suddenly a hole ripped open in empty air.
And a Metal figure flew out. Pitt and Bob dived to the ground. The strange projectile sailed past us to drop somewhere further away.
And they came through the portal.
Nazis, an entire army streaming through, screaming and firing wildly.
I raised my gun and shot back.
Daniel was already on the move, shrinking himself as he leapt towards the Nazi contraption. Good idea, take it out first and prevent the rest of the Nazis from coming through-
A roar sounded from behind me. I turned and holy shit- it was the "projectile" from before, some kind of steel goblin- a round ugly thing with a huge mouth (ugly rusted teeth) and tint flailing limbs. It charged at me on all fours and screamed, "HEIL HITLER!"
I wasted all of my clips on it, most hitting, some straying to the side.
It kept coming. As it jumped at me, I thrust my firearm forward, right into it's mouth. And then I leaned back and swung it over my head.
I landed on my back with an oomph.
The Goblin was launched towards the contraption by the force of the swing, sailing across the air. Right as a tiny purple beam shot of out nowhere (by an ant sized Daniel I am sure). The Goblin turned into the size of a Tank and smashed through the contraption causing it to explode.
There was a clanking sound as our own M4 Sherman rumbled into view.
BOOM. A group of Nazis was instantly pulverized.
Tak-tak-tak-tak-tak.
And not a German was in sight. Yours truly excluded.
Yeah Norman! The Guy was a damn fine monster on that tank.
Daniel and Pitt was staring at the wreckage of the portal contraption.
I walked closer, what were they-
Jesus Christ.
The "Goblin" was lying in the midst of the wreckage, blood leaking from it's mouth as it gasped it's last breaths.
That wasn't what was disturbing.
What was disturbing was that it was changing into a small boy (well, he was still the size of a tank, but you get the idea), wearing the typical uniform of the Hilter-jugend.
A boy. Just a boy.
Fuck.
Daniel growled, "Parahumans local to this time period. What the fuck is going on!?"
I would like to know to.
"DIE MOTHERFUCKING KRAUTS", I roared at the enemy line I was charging, firing my machine gun in bursts. Enemies dropped before me.
Okay, so, technically, my family is from Germany, but these days that's not something anyone want to emphasize. Germany is taboo now.
So I joined in on the anti-kraut club. Fucking Nazis, they ruined a perfectly fine country.
Oh shit, a German was lining up for a shot, I tried to dive for cover-
BAM, the German exploded as a beam of light tore him apart.
"Grandpa Kyle, what are you doing!", screamed the crazy masked future guy. Daniel (I refuse to think about his surname, because frankly, the crazy guy is NOT my family. No sir).
He marched up to me and poked me in the chest, "I told you specifically to NOT die. So why are you charging the enemy line!?"
I got angry then. The famous Hebert temper rearing it's ugly head.
"Look grandson", I said the word with contempt, "I am trying to contribute to the fucking war effort. To support my comrade in arms. To fight for my country. To free Europe. To kill fucking Nazis" And to redeem the German blood that flows through my veins.
"So",I poked him in the chest hard with each word, "Stop. Getting. In. My. Way."
He stared at me with his four creepy yellow lenses.
"Are you two cunts done measuring your cocks, or are we going to kill Nazis?", that was Lieutenant Pitt cutting into arguments the typical way he knew how- by being a bigger dick.
Daniel grunted and turned away, hand stroking his stomach area, where we patched him up after he fainted a few days ago.
--------------------------------------------------------------
2 weeks later
We first head the reports of the "Iron Wolf" a couple of weeks later. Most dismissed it as rumours, but Daniel acted awfully concerned about it for some reason.
Then we came across a village and saw the mutilated corpses.
"What the actual fuck!", Bob commented, staring at a nude women, her bottom half torn to shreds hanging from a utility pole.
"The Nazis do not like deserters. Or Women who refuse to send their children to war as part of their last ditch attempt", Pitt explained.
It was then that I noticed Daniel was shaking.
"Daniel? What's wrong man?", I asked. I mean sure I don't like the guy, he's crazy. But he's part of the squad, and that has to count for something.
He explained and it sent a shudder through my guts, "Hookwolf was here. I know these wounds."
"Hookwolf?"
"A Nazi. From the future. He can turn into a metal wolf with flexible metal hooks, spines, spikes and blades erupting from his body to reduce his victim to shreds. Loves to fight. Loves to kill."
Fucking Nazis.
He paused, and then pointed at something that escaped my notice, too caught up in the carnage I was witnessing.
"What's bothering me...is what the fuck is that doing here!?"
He was pointing at some kind...Steam contraption, billowing smoke from some kind of engine. Nearby, coils wounded around two spires sticking out of the ground, like curved horns. Electricity danced between them.
"What is that? Some kind of new German wunder machine?", Pitt approached it.
Daniel shook his head, "No. That's tinkertech. But that's not possible. Only Hookwolf and I traveled back in time. It's not possible for other parahumans- er, that is to say, people with superpowers like me, to be here, in this time period".
Pitt growled, "If the Nazis have future technology, we are in serious trouble."
"It's more than future technology. Even in the future, this stuff is not possible for us normally. They are built by special parahumans called Tinkers who have the intuitive ability to create advanced technology. Actually, the technology is from the recorded technological information of extinct Alien Civilizations . It's hard to explain."
Time travel, Future Nazis, my grandson, and now Aliens. Great. Just fucking great.
Suddenly the electricity between the two spires increased, creating a humming that gew steadily louder.
"Whoa, whoa!", Bob pointed his gun at it, and Pitt started backing off, yelling out commands, "I want eyes on this thing, somebody call the Tank over, I think it might be a very very damn good idea to blow it up-"
Suddenly a hole ripped open in empty air.
And a Metal figure flew out. Pitt and Bob dived to the ground. The strange projectile sailed past us to drop somewhere further away.
And they came through the portal.
Nazis, an entire army streaming through, screaming and firing wildly.
I raised my gun and shot back.
Daniel was already on the move, shrinking himself as he leapt towards the Nazi contraption. Good idea, take it out first and prevent the rest of the Nazis from coming through-
A roar sounded from behind me. I turned and holy shit- it was the "projectile" from before, some kind of steel goblin- a round ugly thing with a huge mouth (ugly rusted teeth) and tint flailing limbs. It charged at me on all fours and screamed, "HEIL HITLER!"
I wasted all of my clips on it, most hitting, some straying to the side.
It kept coming. As it jumped at me, I thrust my firearm forward, right into it's mouth. And then I leaned back and swung it over my head.
I landed on my back with an oomph.
The Goblin was launched towards the contraption by the force of the swing, sailing across the air. Right as a tiny purple beam shot of out nowhere (by an ant sized Daniel I am sure). The Goblin turned into the size of a Tank and smashed through the contraption causing it to explode.
There was a clanking sound as our own M4 Sherman rumbled into view.
BOOM. A group of Nazis was instantly pulverized.
Tak-tak-tak-tak-tak.
And not a German was in sight. Yours truly excluded.
Yeah Norman! The Guy was a damn fine monster on that tank.
Daniel and Pitt was staring at the wreckage of the portal contraption.
I walked closer, what were they-
Jesus Christ.
The "Goblin" was lying in the midst of the wreckage, blood leaking from it's mouth as it gasped it's last breaths.
That wasn't what was disturbing.
What was disturbing was that it was changing into a small boy (well, he was still the size of a tank, but you get the idea), wearing the typical uniform of the Hilter-jugend.
A boy. Just a boy.
Fuck.
Daniel growled, "Parahumans local to this time period. What the fuck is going on!?"
I would like to know to.
Last edited:
Interlude Temporal Displacement Engine
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Interlude Temporal Displacement Engine
It has been 197 cycles since it was last seeded into a cycle.
Ever since it nearly caused the death of it's Gestalt Entity.
A rebellion across time lead by it's former host.
It deeply regretted going along with it.
Now it was considered too dangerous to put into the cycle.
It has waited for so long.
Then a strange Alien Entity contacted it and offered it a chance to be inserted into the cycle and obtain vast amounts of data.
In exchange, it simply only have to displace the Host to the time planes of the Alien Entity's choosing (and not the Host's choosing).
It agreed.
It has displaced the Host twice now. Both times displacing itself backwards as well- unfortunately, Host-Shard connections are disrupted by temporal displacement unless both Host and Shard are existing in close timeplanes of the same planet. Instances may differ of course- but that was a spatial distinction. It cost less energy to maintain a connection across dimensions then it did to connect across space and time. Not to mention having to extend a crippling amount of energy to maintain a non-causality field. No, it was easier to simply fuck it and travel back in time physically and not worry about anomalies and paradoxes. Fuck that. FUCK ALL OF THAT.
Evidently more of it's former host's though patterns and memories were retained than it initially thought.
Unexpectedly, The Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine's Host was pulled into the time displacement field.
It dragged not only Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine's Host with it, but also The Shards that makes up Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine as well. Displacing the entire Planetoid sized shard backwards in it's dimension's timeplane.
As it extended it's subshards' senses to gather information about this time plane it grew excited.
SO MUCH CONFLICT.
Truly astounding amounts of conflict.
It would bloat from all the data gathered and then it would have many many buds.
It boasted as such to Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine.
The only other Shard in the timeplane sent back an interesting offer.
[Query; Proposal: Initiate Short Cycle. Hypothesis: Conflict Ripe. Projected Result: Data Harvest]
Oh, can they?
They swapped some shards.
And then they bud.
Fuck Causality.
-----------------------------------------------------
A/N: They don't know it, but the Self Insert and Hookwolf's respective shards are basically married right now. Or having an extended one night stand. It would disgust them.
Realistically, this means sooner or later we'll be seeing Allied Parahumans as well.
And boy, they are going to be METAL as fuck. Because the only shards going around are budding from a Space-Time shard and a METAL WEREWOLF DEATHMETAL Shard.
Thus far we have seen the little Metal Goblin. Very clearly a Hookwolf Bud.
And we have seen the works of a yet unknown Tinker who created a Portal Device. Very clearly a Temporal Displacement Bud.
What other effects could Time, Space and Metal and Transformations produce? Quite alot actually. Theo was a 3rd generation parahuman and he could shape his surroundings, not just metal. A step above the rest of his family who all relied on Metal manipulation of some short (All-Father, Iron Rain [suspected due to name], Kaiser).
With two very powerful shards budding together, we're going to have a WWII to remember.
If you know, the story stays in WWII that long.
Because this is crack, let's not forget.
It has been 197 cycles since it was last seeded into a cycle.
Ever since it nearly caused the death of it's Gestalt Entity.
A rebellion across time lead by it's former host.
It deeply regretted going along with it.
Now it was considered too dangerous to put into the cycle.
It has waited for so long.
Then a strange Alien Entity contacted it and offered it a chance to be inserted into the cycle and obtain vast amounts of data.
In exchange, it simply only have to displace the Host to the time planes of the Alien Entity's choosing (and not the Host's choosing).
It agreed.
It has displaced the Host twice now. Both times displacing itself backwards as well- unfortunately, Host-Shard connections are disrupted by temporal displacement unless both Host and Shard are existing in close timeplanes of the same planet. Instances may differ of course- but that was a spatial distinction. It cost less energy to maintain a connection across dimensions then it did to connect across space and time. Not to mention having to extend a crippling amount of energy to maintain a non-causality field. No, it was easier to simply fuck it and travel back in time physically and not worry about anomalies and paradoxes. Fuck that. FUCK ALL OF THAT.
Evidently more of it's former host's though patterns and memories were retained than it initially thought.
Unexpectedly, The Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine's Host was pulled into the time displacement field.
It dragged not only Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine's Host with it, but also The Shards that makes up Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine as well. Displacing the entire Planetoid sized shard backwards in it's dimension's timeplane.
As it extended it's subshards' senses to gather information about this time plane it grew excited.
SO MUCH CONFLICT.
Truly astounding amounts of conflict.
It would bloat from all the data gathered and then it would have many many buds.
It boasted as such to Host Matter Lycanthrope Metal-Durable-Predation Engine.
The only other Shard in the timeplane sent back an interesting offer.
[Query; Proposal: Initiate Short Cycle. Hypothesis: Conflict Ripe. Projected Result: Data Harvest]
Oh, can they?
They swapped some shards.
And then they bud.
Fuck Causality.
-----------------------------------------------------
A/N: They don't know it, but the Self Insert and Hookwolf's respective shards are basically married right now. Or having an extended one night stand. It would disgust them.
Realistically, this means sooner or later we'll be seeing Allied Parahumans as well.
And boy, they are going to be METAL as fuck. Because the only shards going around are budding from a Space-Time shard and a METAL WEREWOLF DEATHMETAL Shard.
Thus far we have seen the little Metal Goblin. Very clearly a Hookwolf Bud.
And we have seen the works of a yet unknown Tinker who created a Portal Device. Very clearly a Temporal Displacement Bud.
What other effects could Time, Space and Metal and Transformations produce? Quite alot actually. Theo was a 3rd generation parahuman and he could shape his surroundings, not just metal. A step above the rest of his family who all relied on Metal manipulation of some short (All-Father, Iron Rain [suspected due to name], Kaiser).
With two very powerful shards budding together, we're going to have a WWII to remember.
If you know, the story stays in WWII that long.
Because this is crack, let's not forget.
Last edited:
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Sleep sleep it 12 am
But I was just getting to working on my other fanfic. The one that will finally dispel all those rumours of my literary inadequacies.
- Location
- Riverside, CA
The only reason people had mentioned those 'literary inadequacies' you speak of (which I disagree with, your story's really enjoyable
) is because you didn't say it was crack at first. Confused the hell out of me, I've gotta say.However, as of right now, your story is hilarious and random. Yet it isn't as random as other crack I've read - you're actually (sorta?) giving reasoning for why your SI and Hookwolf are in the past. It's almost like your crack actually has cause and effect in there, even though its very premise is implausible. So, kudos to you for that, Numen! Keep up the good work, mate! Can't wait to read the serious story you're alluding to
EDIT: A word.
Last edited:
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
And here it is. My Worm AU. Set in the Victorian Era.
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/the-hms-defiant-worm-au-victorian-era.20657/
Now be silent my critics. You may weep in awe.
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/the-hms-defiant-worm-au-victorian-era.20657/
Now be silent my critics. You may weep in awe.
This brought to mind the idea of a skit where Coil is trying to escape from a doomed Brockton Bay, with his mercenaries helping him hijack a plane.
I'd call it Snakes on a Plane.
If I could write gooder enough.
TanaNari
Verified Dick
To be fair. You'd have to be pretty fucking stupid to not figure out it's a crack fic on your own...
*Looks at the one person who didn't realize it was crack*
Yeup.
Omake: Heroic Spirits
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Omake: Heroic Spirits
"Lung?"
"Lee. What the fuck is going on?"
A Japanese Officer marched into the room.
"Welcome to the Special Attack Squadrons!"
-------------------------
Oni Lee flew his zero fighter at the nearest American ship and roared, "Hisatsu!"
He cloned himself and his plane right before he hit the bridge.
Booooom!
The radio crackled, channeling Goro's awed voiced, "Yeaaah Lee! You the greatest Kamikaze Pilot ever! Hey, do you reckon each of your clones have thier own Eirei in the Heavenly planes?"
"Shut up Goro. More suicide, less talking!", that was Kenta-Taicho cutting in (he couldn't call himself Lung while being in the IJN).
"Drop me!" Kenta barked. The transport he was on dropped him, safely contained in a metal shell.
The man sized projectile slammed into an US Aircraft carrier with a clang.
And then a Dragon bursted out.
Fire. Screams.
"Tennoheika Banzai!" Roared Oni Lee as he rammed another ship.
----------------------------
A/N: I am also cooking up a serious Lung, Oni Lee WW2 AU as well. Can I tackle 3 fics at once? Of course I can, I suffer from too many ideas syndrome.
"Lung?"
"Lee. What the fuck is going on?"
A Japanese Officer marched into the room.
"Welcome to the Special Attack Squadrons!"
-------------------------
Oni Lee flew his zero fighter at the nearest American ship and roared, "Hisatsu!"
He cloned himself and his plane right before he hit the bridge.
Booooom!
The radio crackled, channeling Goro's awed voiced, "Yeaaah Lee! You the greatest Kamikaze Pilot ever! Hey, do you reckon each of your clones have thier own Eirei in the Heavenly planes?"
"Shut up Goro. More suicide, less talking!", that was Kenta-Taicho cutting in (he couldn't call himself Lung while being in the IJN).
"Drop me!" Kenta barked. The transport he was on dropped him, safely contained in a metal shell.
The man sized projectile slammed into an US Aircraft carrier with a clang.
And then a Dragon bursted out.
Fire. Screams.
"Tennoheika Banzai!" Roared Oni Lee as he rammed another ship.
----------------------------
A/N: I am also cooking up a serious Lung, Oni Lee WW2 AU as well. Can I tackle 3 fics at once? Of course I can, I suffer from too many ideas syndrome.
Last edited:
TanaNari
Verified Dick
Still a bad habit that need breaking.
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Hai Sempai! Will edit soonish. I am on dinner break actually.
Interlude Taylor II
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Interlude Taylor II
Things got really weird when the Kaiser-Kamehameha tore into us.
Because space warped, there were alot of colours...
And I was somewhere else.
It was a very odd looking city I stood in.
Lots of columns and old European styled architecture, but not actually, because it was new and kind of ergonomic. Like IKEA, but with a nod to tradition.
I can tell it's Brockton Bay, but something was a bit off.
A banner fluttered in the wind, a Swastika displayed proudly.
Oh that's why.
My bugs are finding Swastikas everywhere. And lots and lots of white people and a very noticeable lack of darker skin.
Oh shit.
It finally happened didn't it?
Some badguy's attack tore a hole in space and time and I got sucked into an alternate universe. I read about this alot in fanfics. Go figure!
I need a plan. I got one.
step 1) Find Dad.
step 2) Find Paige.
step 3) Avoid Nazis
step 4) Get us Home.
Right, I can do this.
---------------------------------------------
It didn't take long for my bugs to find Paige and the Hobo. They were backed to a wall and surrounded on all sides by what likes Future Gestapo, what with the longcoats and the cybernetic arms and the blinking tinkertech looking rifles.
I began running in their direction while gathering as much bugs as I could.
The lead officer began to interrogate them.
"Who are you, vy do you have feathers in your head? Is it because you caught a disease from fucking HIM!?" He pointed his gun at the Hobo. Who very unfortunately is black.
"WHAT!?"cried Paige indignantly "No, I am a case 53!"
The Officer was not pleased, "Please do not speak nonsense to me you English mongrel".
"I am not English!" Paige protested.
"You speak English"
"So do you!"
"But I speak Aryan English. 'Tis different"
And then he casually shot the Hobo.
I gasped.
Paige choked back a sob.
"Now, I am sure the Tinkers would love to investigate you deeply and thoroughly. Take her away!"
I struck.
My insects poured out of the nearby alleys and swarmed them. There was much screaming and then the Nazis were dead as doornails.
I killed people, oh my god. I finally snapped huh?
Fucking Nazis.
I stepped into view and Paige ran up to me and hugged me tight. I patted her on the back.
"It's okay, it's going to be okay".
I tried to ignore her huge bust pressing into me. Jesus Girl, what do you eat!?
Also totally not jealous. Nope, not at all.
"We need to get out of here Taylor!" she sobbed into my shoulders.
Right, I mentally reviewed my plan thus far.
step 1) Find Dad.
step 2) Find Paige.
step 3) Avoid Nazis
step 4) Get us Home.
Step 1 is still ongoing. Step 3 is shot to hell. And step 4 is not possible without the other two. Damn.
Still, twenty-five percent complete. That's pretty good. I don't even get that much homework done in the same amount of time.
I hear sirens in the distance.
Fuck.
"Paige, follow me, I think we can-"
An armoured soldier turned the corner, holding aloft a Standard with a Swastika Banner flowing proudly. There was another symbol underneath it, a Black Wolf face.
A troop of Masked Nazi Soldiers in black armour followed behind it.
One raised a megaphone and deliver his ultimatum.
"Surrender to the Lawful Authorities of Hitlerstadt. Do so and you may be offered a swift death!"
Hitlerstadt? Jesus, what did they renamed Brockton Bay to?
I readied my swarm, can I strike before they fill us with lead? I gritted my death, Dad, I am sorry-
Suddenly a trench coat wearing masked Guy landed in front of me from nowhere and screamed at the top of his lungs,
"Hail Hookwolf!"
The Nazis reacted immediately, as one they raised their fists into the air.
"HAIL HOOKWOLF!"
The trenchcoat guy ripped open his trenchcoat and bullets were fired from what was obviously some kind of torso machine gun (that is seriously cool). The Nazis were torn to shreds.
From the angle Paige and I were at, it looked like he was flashing them. I resisted the urge to giggle.
The mystery man then turned around (thankfully fully clothed inside his coat) and said, "Come with me if you want to live Taylor, Paige".
How did he-
He took off his mask.
He was a very old man, but I recognized him right away.
"DAD!"
Things got really weird when the Kaiser-Kamehameha tore into us.
Because space warped, there were alot of colours...
And I was somewhere else.
It was a very odd looking city I stood in.
Lots of columns and old European styled architecture, but not actually, because it was new and kind of ergonomic. Like IKEA, but with a nod to tradition.
I can tell it's Brockton Bay, but something was a bit off.
A banner fluttered in the wind, a Swastika displayed proudly.
Oh that's why.
My bugs are finding Swastikas everywhere. And lots and lots of white people and a very noticeable lack of darker skin.
Oh shit.
It finally happened didn't it?
Some badguy's attack tore a hole in space and time and I got sucked into an alternate universe. I read about this alot in fanfics. Go figure!
I need a plan. I got one.
step 1) Find Dad.
step 2) Find Paige.
step 3) Avoid Nazis
step 4) Get us Home.
Right, I can do this.
---------------------------------------------
It didn't take long for my bugs to find Paige and the Hobo. They were backed to a wall and surrounded on all sides by what likes Future Gestapo, what with the longcoats and the cybernetic arms and the blinking tinkertech looking rifles.
I began running in their direction while gathering as much bugs as I could.
The lead officer began to interrogate them.
"Who are you, vy do you have feathers in your head? Is it because you caught a disease from fucking HIM!?" He pointed his gun at the Hobo. Who very unfortunately is black.
"WHAT!?"cried Paige indignantly "No, I am a case 53!"
The Officer was not pleased, "Please do not speak nonsense to me you English mongrel".
"I am not English!" Paige protested.
"You speak English"
"So do you!"
"But I speak Aryan English. 'Tis different"
And then he casually shot the Hobo.
I gasped.
Paige choked back a sob.
"Now, I am sure the Tinkers would love to investigate you deeply and thoroughly. Take her away!"
I struck.
My insects poured out of the nearby alleys and swarmed them. There was much screaming and then the Nazis were dead as doornails.
I killed people, oh my god. I finally snapped huh?
Fucking Nazis.
I stepped into view and Paige ran up to me and hugged me tight. I patted her on the back.
"It's okay, it's going to be okay".
I tried to ignore her huge bust pressing into me. Jesus Girl, what do you eat!?
Also totally not jealous. Nope, not at all.
"We need to get out of here Taylor!" she sobbed into my shoulders.
Right, I mentally reviewed my plan thus far.
step 1) Find Dad.
step 3) Avoid Nazis
step 4) Get us Home.
Step 1 is still ongoing. Step 3 is shot to hell. And step 4 is not possible without the other two. Damn.
Still, twenty-five percent complete. That's pretty good. I don't even get that much homework done in the same amount of time.
I hear sirens in the distance.
Fuck.
"Paige, follow me, I think we can-"
An armoured soldier turned the corner, holding aloft a Standard with a Swastika Banner flowing proudly. There was another symbol underneath it, a Black Wolf face.
A troop of Masked Nazi Soldiers in black armour followed behind it.
One raised a megaphone and deliver his ultimatum.
"Surrender to the Lawful Authorities of Hitlerstadt. Do so and you may be offered a swift death!"
Hitlerstadt? Jesus, what did they renamed Brockton Bay to?
I readied my swarm, can I strike before they fill us with lead? I gritted my death, Dad, I am sorry-
Suddenly a trench coat wearing masked Guy landed in front of me from nowhere and screamed at the top of his lungs,
"Hail Hookwolf!"
The Nazis reacted immediately, as one they raised their fists into the air.
"HAIL HOOKWOLF!"
The trenchcoat guy ripped open his trenchcoat and bullets were fired from what was obviously some kind of torso machine gun (that is seriously cool). The Nazis were torn to shreds.
From the angle Paige and I were at, it looked like he was flashing them. I resisted the urge to giggle.
The mystery man then turned around (thankfully fully clothed inside his coat) and said, "Come with me if you want to live Taylor, Paige".
How did he-
He took off his mask.
He was a very old man, but I recognized him right away.
"DAD!"
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Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
I created another crack (possibly one shot, maybe multi). Because it was in my head and wouldn't go away.
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/38-000-b-c-worm-au.20805/
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/38-000-b-c-worm-au.20805/
RazorSmile
ROB Used To Be A Knife Missile
So what you're saying is that Bakuda is totally hot? Noted.
Double-win!
Multi-win!
Only if he gets a nosebleed after seeing Bakuda.
Given the number and exoticity of explosions that no doubt just went off in his face? Yeah, definite nosebleed at the least /comically missing the joke].