Chapter 4: Oh Shit
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Chapter 4: Oh Shit
Okay, so, hitting the Merchants and stealing their cash was too easy.
In fact, I didn't even hit the Merchants. I just stole their cash.
Go tiny, sneak in. Go Full size, stuff my backpack full of dough. Go tiny, sneak out.
Ta-da!
Take that Ocean's Eleven, you ain't got nothing on me.
Oh, and I guess I also set fire to their warehouse and detonated my explosives.
Because fuck you that's why. This is why you don't do drugs kids, because a man in a yellow suit might come in and start channeling Michael Bay.
Man, I've gotten kind of violent lately. Must be the lack of good Vegetarian food.
I scratched my balding head.
I sighed. Man, male pattern baldness must have been the worst part of this whole situation I am in.
I went from a strapping young lad with a head full of hair to this.
There was a good chance I wasn't even going to go bald either! I mean, nobody on my father's side was ever bald....and my maternal uncles still have head full of hair. But my maternal grandfather balded early. Oh God, if i was like him....
But that was another world, another life.
As Daniel Hebert I am already bald.
Ugh.
Okay, time to move, Taylor left the house about 30 minutes ago.
Time for me to give Max Anders a big welcome.
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I waited in the parking lot. I looked at the time- 3:45AM.
He should be leaving now, to visit his warehouses, host Nazi rallies, burn crosses and do other creepy white supremacist gang stuff.
I saw four white man in business suits exit the Medhall Main Building and I followed after them.
Let's see, according to my internet image searches....that guy is Max Anders.
Wow, he's pretty good looking. Young too. And totally a cunt by the cape name of Kaiser. Not even a real Nazi, just some power hungry thug using other people's beliefs to his advantage...which basically is exactly what Hitler did. I guess he really is a Nazi. The Real Nazi.
"Welcome, workers of Nazi Land! Where the glorious privilege is yours to be a Nazi!
To work forty-eight hours a day for the Fuehrer. Get to work!"
I started singing that famed Disney song as I followed them to their shiny Volkswagen. What a privileged doucebag, and the choice of car brand is a bit too obvious isn't it Kaiser?
As one of the burly bodyguard type dude opened the back door for Max Anders to enter, I jumped inside and immediately hid underneath the seat.
Everyone got inside and the car drove off, Max sitting next to some ripped blonde guy with greasy hair. Say what you want about the E88, but they sure are estrogen bait.
Max Anders turned to the man sitting next to him, "What's the situation with the ABB?"
"Lung disappeared and they are going crazy. Bakuda just did a bombing run in the suburbs. A lot of good, proper families were harmed."
Max growled and then said in a rather teacherly tone, "The mischling bitch will get her due. This is why the Empire is necessary my friend, to protect good people from chinks and niggers like these."
Wow language. I primed my roboarms and let the built in HUD take aim for me.
ZAP!
ZAP!
ZAP!
ZAP!
I fired my beams in rapid succession causing the car to suddenly be driverless due to the fact that I shrunk everyone.
"What the fuck!" yelled Max Anders as he and his buddy found themselves suddenly being really small and far away from each other (due to the relative distance of the back seat they were on).
I leapt up onto the leather bench seat. Damn, this is good leather.
"Language Kaiser. A role model like you should be careful with expletives around good, proper families."
He whirled around, summoning blades of metal from the leather beneath his feet, and picked up a wicked looking scimitar (which should be the size of a splinter relative to normal sizedness, hehehe), "Who the fuck are you!?"
"I am the night" (why yes, I am channeling Batman).
I unleashed my regular precision lasers at him, forcing him to jump away as I completely destroyed the area he was standing on, causing puffs of cotton stuffing to float into the air. He screamed, "MY CAR!", and looked behind me and yelled, "Kill this son of a bitch!"
Wait, who was he talking to?
There was a roar as I was suddenly tackled. Tackled by a whirling mess of hooks, blades and saws. I yelled and pulled the bundle of pain off my back and hurled him away to smack into the car door, watching my assailant bounce off the plastic interior of the door back onto the leather seat. He stood up, his face metallic in the shape of a wolf, long needles from his body digging into the seat to steady himself.
Aw shit. Aw fucking Shit!
That was motherfucking Hookwolf.
I think my suit's damaged, because I can feel myself bleeding slightly.
Max Anders smiled, "I don't know who you are, but I'd wager you're some kind of Tinker and you shrunk us all with those beams of yours. That's fairly impressive, turn us back to normal now, or you will die a slow death."
"Hehehe, if I die, you'll stay tiny forever", a complete lie, but they didn't know that.
BANG
I yelped as a bullet bounced off my suit. Thank God it's bullet proof. On the centre console [A/N: the thing between the two front seats for those who don't know] stood two man, the driver and some guy with a gun.
Kaiser nodded at him, "Victor"
OH SHIT.
Kaiser and Hookwolf then charged at me, Kaiser throwing steel spears at my face, which I dodged with my hovertech, right before we clash however, the entire world tilted, throwing us all into the air.
In midair, I chanced a glance outside the nearest window, I see that the car we're in has just crashed through the railings and was on it's way towards the watery depths of Brockton Bay.
OH SHIT.
Okay, so, hitting the Merchants and stealing their cash was too easy.
In fact, I didn't even hit the Merchants. I just stole their cash.
Go tiny, sneak in. Go Full size, stuff my backpack full of dough. Go tiny, sneak out.
Ta-da!
Take that Ocean's Eleven, you ain't got nothing on me.
Oh, and I guess I also set fire to their warehouse and detonated my explosives.
Because fuck you that's why. This is why you don't do drugs kids, because a man in a yellow suit might come in and start channeling Michael Bay.
Man, I've gotten kind of violent lately. Must be the lack of good Vegetarian food.
I scratched my balding head.
I sighed. Man, male pattern baldness must have been the worst part of this whole situation I am in.
I went from a strapping young lad with a head full of hair to this.
There was a good chance I wasn't even going to go bald either! I mean, nobody on my father's side was ever bald....and my maternal uncles still have head full of hair. But my maternal grandfather balded early. Oh God, if i was like him....
But that was another world, another life.
As Daniel Hebert I am already bald.
Ugh.
Okay, time to move, Taylor left the house about 30 minutes ago.
Time for me to give Max Anders a big welcome.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I waited in the parking lot. I looked at the time- 3:45AM.
He should be leaving now, to visit his warehouses, host Nazi rallies, burn crosses and do other creepy white supremacist gang stuff.
I saw four white man in business suits exit the Medhall Main Building and I followed after them.
Let's see, according to my internet image searches....that guy is Max Anders.
Wow, he's pretty good looking. Young too. And totally a cunt by the cape name of Kaiser. Not even a real Nazi, just some power hungry thug using other people's beliefs to his advantage...which basically is exactly what Hitler did. I guess he really is a Nazi. The Real Nazi.
"Welcome, workers of Nazi Land! Where the glorious privilege is yours to be a Nazi!
To work forty-eight hours a day for the Fuehrer. Get to work!"
I started singing that famed Disney song as I followed them to their shiny Volkswagen. What a privileged doucebag, and the choice of car brand is a bit too obvious isn't it Kaiser?
As one of the burly bodyguard type dude opened the back door for Max Anders to enter, I jumped inside and immediately hid underneath the seat.
Everyone got inside and the car drove off, Max sitting next to some ripped blonde guy with greasy hair. Say what you want about the E88, but they sure are estrogen bait.
Max Anders turned to the man sitting next to him, "What's the situation with the ABB?"
"Lung disappeared and they are going crazy. Bakuda just did a bombing run in the suburbs. A lot of good, proper families were harmed."
Max growled and then said in a rather teacherly tone, "The mischling bitch will get her due. This is why the Empire is necessary my friend, to protect good people from chinks and niggers like these."
Wow language. I primed my roboarms and let the built in HUD take aim for me.
ZAP!
ZAP!
ZAP!
ZAP!
I fired my beams in rapid succession causing the car to suddenly be driverless due to the fact that I shrunk everyone.
"What the fuck!" yelled Max Anders as he and his buddy found themselves suddenly being really small and far away from each other (due to the relative distance of the back seat they were on).
I leapt up onto the leather bench seat. Damn, this is good leather.
"Language Kaiser. A role model like you should be careful with expletives around good, proper families."
He whirled around, summoning blades of metal from the leather beneath his feet, and picked up a wicked looking scimitar (which should be the size of a splinter relative to normal sizedness, hehehe), "Who the fuck are you!?"
"I am the night" (why yes, I am channeling Batman).
I unleashed my regular precision lasers at him, forcing him to jump away as I completely destroyed the area he was standing on, causing puffs of cotton stuffing to float into the air. He screamed, "MY CAR!", and looked behind me and yelled, "Kill this son of a bitch!"
Wait, who was he talking to?
There was a roar as I was suddenly tackled. Tackled by a whirling mess of hooks, blades and saws. I yelled and pulled the bundle of pain off my back and hurled him away to smack into the car door, watching my assailant bounce off the plastic interior of the door back onto the leather seat. He stood up, his face metallic in the shape of a wolf, long needles from his body digging into the seat to steady himself.
Aw shit. Aw fucking Shit!
That was motherfucking Hookwolf.
I think my suit's damaged, because I can feel myself bleeding slightly.
Max Anders smiled, "I don't know who you are, but I'd wager you're some kind of Tinker and you shrunk us all with those beams of yours. That's fairly impressive, turn us back to normal now, or you will die a slow death."
"Hehehe, if I die, you'll stay tiny forever", a complete lie, but they didn't know that.
BANG
I yelped as a bullet bounced off my suit. Thank God it's bullet proof. On the centre console [A/N: the thing between the two front seats for those who don't know] stood two man, the driver and some guy with a gun.
Kaiser nodded at him, "Victor"
OH SHIT.
Kaiser and Hookwolf then charged at me, Kaiser throwing steel spears at my face, which I dodged with my hovertech, right before we clash however, the entire world tilted, throwing us all into the air.
In midair, I chanced a glance outside the nearest window, I see that the car we're in has just crashed through the railings and was on it's way towards the watery depths of Brockton Bay.
OH SHIT.
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