Disclaimer: I do not own Worm, which belongs to Wildbow, and I definitely do not own Marvel...
Lobotomy Solves Everything (Worm/Antman CRACK SI)
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User Total Kolarthecool 1 Numen 27
Prologue
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Disclaimer: I do not own Worm, which belongs to Wildbow, and I definitely do not own Marvel.
Prologue
'Tis was the night before shit hit the fans, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Well that was a lie, there were a couple of mice...or rats...whatever, they are monsters in my current situation, I hope I don't meet them.
I slipped in through the tiny gap between the windows and launched myself off the ledge with a mighty jump, landing lightly on the bouncy bed of my target.
I began to slowly crawl up over the sleeping mound, body rising and falling in time with her breathes.
From this perspective, it sounded like a freakin' hurricane.
Alright, I am right next to her head now, up her chin, up right to her lips.
I pry them open with my arms, and slipped right inside.
Good God, that sounded wrong.
I activated my built in Tinkertech optics and night vision quickly showed me the nasty interior of a human mouth.
Ugh.
Okay, let's see...it should be this way, I passed underneath the uvula (eew) and found a soft squishy flesh at the back of her throat.
With a tap on my helmet, I called up a digital rendering of her anatomy. Don't want to accidentally paralyze her or something. She didn't really deserve that much punishment. Also, I might get bad karma from that.
But she will deserve this. Two spindly spider like arms rose from my back, one of which sported a long needle.
Sorry, well not really, because you're a bitch. I stab the back of her throat and injected the anesthetic.
Then I primed both of my robot arms and fired twin beams of deadly laser right at the back of her throat, carving a nice oval hole, the dead flesh flopping over, charred.
Climbing over into the hole, I proceed to scale up her spine, so this is what it feels like to be a fucking Goa'uld.
Aha, at last, I am in her brain. Or I am looking at a mess of fleshy stuff. Probably the lower cortext. Okay, let's see, according to my handy helmet image, my target is right near the frontal and parietal lobes.
Huh. Alright.
I fire both lasers right into her brain and carve a straight path up to the Corona Gemma- I concentrated on it until it exploded into a sizzling char of flesh. She might have some brain damage, but meh. She was already nuts.
RUMBLE.
Ah shit, she's waking up.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH"
And screaming. Time to get out of here.
I fired a beam right past the back of her neck and climbed out of the hole, then I jumped into the air and activated my built-in hovertech (my suit is too awesome, really), flying/hopping my out of her window and back into the night.
Mission accomplished. Fuck you Sophia Hess. Let's see how your ego deal with no powers.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke groggily. It was quite the night. Downstairs I can hear the kitchen exhaust on and the sweet wafts of eggs, hashbrowns and coffee.
(she took my sudden decision to convert to vegetarianism in stride).
As I rounded the stairs into the kitchen, my kind-of-not-really-daughter look up and smiled, "Good morning dad"
I smiled, "Morning, Taylor".
You don't know it yet, but I've avenged thee.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Danny Hebert Self Insert. With the Yellowjacket Power Armour. Also my first ever fic on this site.
I might need a beta, although eventually, I catch all of my mistakes anyway.
Prologue
'Tis was the night before shit hit the fans, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Well that was a lie, there were a couple of mice...or rats...whatever, they are monsters in my current situation, I hope I don't meet them.
I slipped in through the tiny gap between the windows and launched myself off the ledge with a mighty jump, landing lightly on the bouncy bed of my target.
I began to slowly crawl up over the sleeping mound, body rising and falling in time with her breathes.
From this perspective, it sounded like a freakin' hurricane.
Alright, I am right next to her head now, up her chin, up right to her lips.
I pry them open with my arms, and slipped right inside.
Good God, that sounded wrong.
I activated my built in Tinkertech optics and night vision quickly showed me the nasty interior of a human mouth.
Ugh.
Okay, let's see...it should be this way, I passed underneath the uvula (eew) and found a soft squishy flesh at the back of her throat.
With a tap on my helmet, I called up a digital rendering of her anatomy. Don't want to accidentally paralyze her or something. She didn't really deserve that much punishment. Also, I might get bad karma from that.
But she will deserve this. Two spindly spider like arms rose from my back, one of which sported a long needle.
Sorry, well not really, because you're a bitch. I stab the back of her throat and injected the anesthetic.
Then I primed both of my robot arms and fired twin beams of deadly laser right at the back of her throat, carving a nice oval hole, the dead flesh flopping over, charred.
Climbing over into the hole, I proceed to scale up her spine, so this is what it feels like to be a fucking Goa'uld.
Aha, at last, I am in her brain. Or I am looking at a mess of fleshy stuff. Probably the lower cortext. Okay, let's see, according to my handy helmet image, my target is right near the frontal and parietal lobes.
Huh. Alright.
I fire both lasers right into her brain and carve a straight path up to the Corona Gemma- I concentrated on it until it exploded into a sizzling char of flesh. She might have some brain damage, but meh. She was already nuts.
RUMBLE.
Ah shit, she's waking up.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH"
And screaming. Time to get out of here.
I fired a beam right past the back of her neck and climbed out of the hole, then I jumped into the air and activated my built-in hovertech (my suit is too awesome, really), flying/hopping my out of her window and back into the night.
Mission accomplished. Fuck you Sophia Hess. Let's see how your ego deal with no powers.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke groggily. It was quite the night. Downstairs I can hear the kitchen exhaust on and the sweet wafts of eggs, hashbrowns and coffee.
(she took my sudden decision to convert to vegetarianism in stride).
As I rounded the stairs into the kitchen, my kind-of-not-really-daughter look up and smiled, "Good morning dad"
I smiled, "Morning, Taylor".
You don't know it yet, but I've avenged thee.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Danny Hebert Self Insert. With the Yellowjacket Power Armour. Also my first ever fic on this site.
I might need a beta, although eventually, I catch all of my mistakes anyway.
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Chapter 1: How it all Began
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Chapter 1: How it all Began
A couple weeks ago
I woke up, feeling really really weird.
Like I was older maybe.
Well, must be the late night I pulled before I went to bed again. That happens frequently.
So I reached for my glasses- those are some weird feeling glasses. I put them on.
Okay, time to head down and prepare breakfast. Well, no wait, Taylor should have my breakfast ready anyway.
Wait, who's Taylor?
My memories immediately recalled a tall, thin girl, rather plain looking, glasses, long curly hair, kind of like Annette-
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Time out.
I examined myself for a bit longer.
I seem to have two memories.
One, I am, well, me.
In the other one, I am the middle aged head of the Dockworkers Association, I had a wife named Annette- she died in a car crash, we had a daughter, Taylor, who's currently in highschool- and being bullied, my other set of memories helpfully informed me, because my other set of memories knows everything. Because the other me read Worm.
Aw shit.
I am Daniel Hebert? REALLY? What can he do exactly?
Be a better dad to Taylor?
"That and more" somebody said.
I jumped right out of bed and stared at the person standing at the foot of my bed.
No fucking way.
"Morgan Freeman!!!?" I yelled in disbelief.
"Not quite. I am, ah, what do you call it, a Random Omniscient Being"
I stared blankly at him.
He sighed, "I am a ROB. Or an ASB. Alien Space Bat."
My brain was still fried.
"I am responsible for your current situation my young man"
My brain finally rebooted, and my Wit.Ex was running before I could control myself, "I am not young. I am fucking OLD now. I better not get senile because of you!". Way to go brain, way to go mouthing off to the all powerful God like being, who also happens to be Morgan Freeman.
I cleared my throat, "so ugh, why me? Do you need me to kill Scion or...?"
"Because I want you to be God for a day and learn important and valuable lessons about the everyday miracles of life- naw, there are very good reasons for why you are here, however, for now, just relax, enjoy the ride, and cause havoc. All will be made clear"
He tossed something onto my bed. I leaned over and picked it up. It was a little glass box...and inside was...
"No way"
"Yes way" Damn that Morgan Freeman voice was too alluring.
For I was holding in my hands The Yellow Jacket Power Suit. From Ant Man. The Movie that came out literally last night.
That I totally saw on opening night.
Goddamn.
This...this has possibilities. Applications.
Freeman smiled, "I'll gift you a nice supply of Pym Particles good for a month's use, however, you'll have to earn more, or find some way of creating some yourself. And don't get yourself killed too soon."
He vanished, in his place was a large steel briefcase.
I walked over to the case, flipping it open. Inside I see viles after viles of yellow liquid, inside of which were the Pym Particles.
Okay, I can do this.
I suddenly realized my memory has a series of instructions on how to utilize the Yellow Jacket suit. Well, that's convenient.
Time to go say hi to my daughter- AW SHIT. What's the date? Has she already triggered!?
I quickly hid everything in my closet and ran downstairs.
A couple weeks ago
I woke up, feeling really really weird.
Like I was older maybe.
Well, must be the late night I pulled before I went to bed again. That happens frequently.
So I reached for my glasses- those are some weird feeling glasses. I put them on.
Okay, time to head down and prepare breakfast. Well, no wait, Taylor should have my breakfast ready anyway.
Wait, who's Taylor?
My memories immediately recalled a tall, thin girl, rather plain looking, glasses, long curly hair, kind of like Annette-
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Time out.
I examined myself for a bit longer.
I seem to have two memories.
One, I am, well, me.
In the other one, I am the middle aged head of the Dockworkers Association, I had a wife named Annette- she died in a car crash, we had a daughter, Taylor, who's currently in highschool- and being bullied, my other set of memories helpfully informed me, because my other set of memories knows everything. Because the other me read Worm.
Aw shit.
I am Daniel Hebert? REALLY? What can he do exactly?
Be a better dad to Taylor?
"That and more" somebody said.
I jumped right out of bed and stared at the person standing at the foot of my bed.
No fucking way.
"Morgan Freeman!!!?" I yelled in disbelief.
"Not quite. I am, ah, what do you call it, a Random Omniscient Being"
I stared blankly at him.
He sighed, "I am a ROB. Or an ASB. Alien Space Bat."
My brain was still fried.
"I am responsible for your current situation my young man"
My brain finally rebooted, and my Wit.Ex was running before I could control myself, "I am not young. I am fucking OLD now. I better not get senile because of you!". Way to go brain, way to go mouthing off to the all powerful God like being, who also happens to be Morgan Freeman.
I cleared my throat, "so ugh, why me? Do you need me to kill Scion or...?"
"Because I want you to be God for a day and learn important and valuable lessons about the everyday miracles of life- naw, there are very good reasons for why you are here, however, for now, just relax, enjoy the ride, and cause havoc. All will be made clear"
He tossed something onto my bed. I leaned over and picked it up. It was a little glass box...and inside was...
"No way"
"Yes way" Damn that Morgan Freeman voice was too alluring.
For I was holding in my hands The Yellow Jacket Power Suit. From Ant Man. The Movie that came out literally last night.
That I totally saw on opening night.
Goddamn.
This...this has possibilities. Applications.
Freeman smiled, "I'll gift you a nice supply of Pym Particles good for a month's use, however, you'll have to earn more, or find some way of creating some yourself. And don't get yourself killed too soon."
He vanished, in his place was a large steel briefcase.
I walked over to the case, flipping it open. Inside I see viles after viles of yellow liquid, inside of which were the Pym Particles.
Okay, I can do this.
I suddenly realized my memory has a series of instructions on how to utilize the Yellow Jacket suit. Well, that's convenient.
Time to go say hi to my daughter- AW SHIT. What's the date? Has she already triggered!?
I quickly hid everything in my closet and ran downstairs.
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Older-than-Time
[Eating My Muse]
- Location
- Somewhere in the Sol System
- Pronouns
- He/Him/ThatIdiot
Watched....closely
... watched. Like a trainwreck - can't look away.
Chapter 2: Breakfast at Taylor's
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Chapter 2: Breakfast at Taylor's
Turns out, showing up in my pajamas gave me really weird looks from my daughter (a part of me is disturbed I already consider her to be actually my daughter).
As I munched on my French toast, judiciously leaving behind the bacon and the sausages (got a weird look again from Taylor), I was checking the local news. It was April 8th, 2011.
If I recall (and I don't actually, because my memory was piss poor), that was the canonical start of the story. Taylor has already long since triggered. My poor girl!
Sophia Hess will be in a world of hurt, just you wait.
It also means I have very little time to act before canon is shot to hell.
If I can defeat Scion (and regardless of what ROB wanted, it's assumed that will have to happen sooner or later- and wow, too many damn brackets- did I just broke the 4th wall? Please tell me I am not turning into Deadpool. Wait, I hear…Morgan Freeman's voice reassuring me I am not. Fuck you Rob), I need to do something and quick.
What do I want to happen?
I want the Undersiders on my side. That means I have to deal with Coil sooner or later.
I could theoretically join the protectorate, but that would remove the greatest advantage my suit provides me. Anonymity. I am the ultimate espionage operative, I can assassinate anyone, retrieve any data, all with relative safety. Nobody expects a tiny shrinking person! HA.
Assassination….hmmmmmm.
HMMMMMMM.
That idea has merit.
Right, but first.
"Taylor?"
"Yes Dad?"
"I've decided to become vegetarian. If it's not too much trouble, can you stop cooking meat for me? I'd appreciate say…Hashbrowns or even veggies, thanks".
She gave me a really weird look….and then nodded in acceptance.
I continue munching in peace.
That solves me dietary problems for the foreseeable future. I've got no stomach for contributing to the suffering of animals.
Now…assassination….hmmmm...
Munch.
Who can I kill to minimize suffering?
The Simurgh? Yeah, no.
There's an easier target though. Eidolon. But that'll bring down Cauldron on my head- AW SHIT.
Am I visible to Path to Victory? Will Contessa show up to fuck me over?
I glance over my shoulders.
No one, just Taylor.
Whew.
Okay, let's put that off for now. There are easier targets I can deal with right now.
Like the various gangs. That would help minimize suffering in Brockton Bay right?
Munch.
"Honey, get me a bowl of cereal!"
Munch.
Turns out, showing up in my pajamas gave me really weird looks from my daughter (a part of me is disturbed I already consider her to be actually my daughter).
As I munched on my French toast, judiciously leaving behind the bacon and the sausages (got a weird look again from Taylor), I was checking the local news. It was April 8th, 2011.
If I recall (and I don't actually, because my memory was piss poor), that was the canonical start of the story. Taylor has already long since triggered. My poor girl!
Sophia Hess will be in a world of hurt, just you wait.
It also means I have very little time to act before canon is shot to hell.
If I can defeat Scion (and regardless of what ROB wanted, it's assumed that will have to happen sooner or later- and wow, too many damn brackets- did I just broke the 4th wall? Please tell me I am not turning into Deadpool. Wait, I hear…Morgan Freeman's voice reassuring me I am not. Fuck you Rob), I need to do something and quick.
What do I want to happen?
I want the Undersiders on my side. That means I have to deal with Coil sooner or later.
I could theoretically join the protectorate, but that would remove the greatest advantage my suit provides me. Anonymity. I am the ultimate espionage operative, I can assassinate anyone, retrieve any data, all with relative safety. Nobody expects a tiny shrinking person! HA.
Assassination….hmmmmmm.
HMMMMMMM.
That idea has merit.
Right, but first.
"Taylor?"
"Yes Dad?"
"I've decided to become vegetarian. If it's not too much trouble, can you stop cooking meat for me? I'd appreciate say…Hashbrowns or even veggies, thanks".
She gave me a really weird look….and then nodded in acceptance.
I continue munching in peace.
That solves me dietary problems for the foreseeable future. I've got no stomach for contributing to the suffering of animals.
Now…assassination….hmmmm...
Munch.
Who can I kill to minimize suffering?
The Simurgh? Yeah, no.
There's an easier target though. Eidolon. But that'll bring down Cauldron on my head- AW SHIT.
Am I visible to Path to Victory? Will Contessa show up to fuck me over?
I glance over my shoulders.
No one, just Taylor.
Whew.
Okay, let's put that off for now. There are easier targets I can deal with right now.
Like the various gangs. That would help minimize suffering in Brockton Bay right?
Munch.
"Honey, get me a bowl of cereal!"
Munch.
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Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Thanks for clarifying.
Ya, that was specifically listed as a "failed experiment" of the early parahuman era. Basically, the CG is the interface, without it the power goes batshit (and can lose some of the manton or power/scale limits too). Generally, super bad idea. Though, it's your fic, you can author-fiat that the CG is the power.
- Location
- Little Rock, AR
..... The first you do with your powers with the mentality and experience of a maliddle aged man is sneak into the house of a 15 year old girl climb into her body and mutulate her brain in a way that can cause serious brain damage and should by all right get the both of you killed when she phases uncontrollably into you and you surroundings.
You call this being a better dad than Danny?
I mean the first thing you do is assault q ward and potentially get yourselves killed rather than being a grown up or using spy powers to spy and support legal efforts.
Also a parent ly Danny is still sorta there if you care about Taylor's wellbeing but he kinda liked emma too and you know what happened with her where's the conflict?
You call this being a better dad than Danny?
I mean the first thing you do is assault q ward and potentially get yourselves killed rather than being a grown up or using spy powers to spy and support legal efforts.
Also a parent ly Danny is still sorta there if you care about Taylor's wellbeing but he kinda liked emma too and you know what happened with her where's the conflict?
Omake: Footprints
Kolarthecool
Hiding from the light of day.
- Location
- Calgary, Canada.
Hmm
Panacea: That's strange... there seem to be weird entrance and exit holes cut into her body and... What the hell?
Piggot: What's wrong Ms. Dallon?
Panacea: This doesnt make sense, are.. are those footprints?
Panacea: That's strange... there seem to be weird entrance and exit holes cut into her body and... What the hell?
Piggot: What's wrong Ms. Dallon?
Panacea: This doesnt make sense, are.. are those footprints?
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mdkcde
"Emotions are prohibited"
- Location
- Nani Sore?
It's the Yellowjacket suit. I presume the crazyness is a side effect of the pym stuff not being properly managed.
If it happens, I can't wait for the moment he decides to out himself as a villain to Taylor. I want to get off this ride but I also want to see where it goes.
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Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
I pretty much had thought this would be a good justification.
Or, the alternative is that I am now crazy.
Or, this is all Morgan Freeman's fault.
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
All will be explained. Kinda. This story may or may not get quite weird. My inspiration for the fic is literally lobotomy, assassination and other crazy things only a tiny shrunk person can get up to.
Legal efforts? Bahahahaha.
"The laws of nature is greater than man, but I've become greater than the laws of nature"
- Darren Cross/Yellowjacket (I may or may not have mangled this quote from the movie)
- Location
- Little Rock, AR
So you're a neitzchian super man lunatic with only the barest getter of Danny's character to justify lethally stupid actions in a world of psychics.
I feel sorry for his dependents and also want to know how you plan to hold down his full time job,friendships, and people that depend on him.
blackshadow111
Happy Helpful Grenade
- Location
- India
And I feel sorry for all the authors here and on SB, who just can't seem to start a story without someone or the other popping in to preach.
I mean, seriously. You're not even making the slightest effort to actually be constructive, just barking out high-handed moral statements and judgements that have no bearing whatsoever on the actual situation.
Making SS go berserk, inasmuch there is any level of 'berserk' she's not already at, doesn't help Taylor? Sophia will wake up either permanently transparent or flickering back and forth uncontrollably. And guess what? That's a good thing.
It means that one way or the other, she'll be out of Winslow, and out of Taylor's life. I'd call that being a good father.
Not that that's difficult.
It's canon that a supervillain was a better father to his daughter than Danny could be to Taylor in his wildest dreams.
But anyway, beyond the lobotomy, the idea that it could be traced to him? What a joke. Unless he is really, really stupid (I'm talking Trickster level of stupid, here), there's no real way it can happen.
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Interlude Taylor
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Interlude Taylor
I cautiously had one of my bugs enter dad's room to make sure he is asleep. I had refrained from keeping bugs inside his room since I triggered because it's just too damn awkward. And creepy as fuck.
Through compound eyes I see that all is dark and there was no movement except for the heavy rise and fall of his chest. Good.
Okay, time to do this!
I opened the front door and out into the streets. It was time to be a hero.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The warehouse next to me exploded. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
FUCKING LUNG.
"AWOL KEEEL OOGH!"
I had my bugs swarm around Lung, biting, clawing, crawling between his regenerating skin, but his armoured skin was already pushing out the bugs, stopping them dead.
I had attacked too late!
It was all the fault of that tiny yellow person. When I noticed him amongst my swarm of bugs, it distracted me (because a tiny yellow person is pretty damn distracting if you'd saw him too!), so I totally missed my chance to jump Lung and his goons when they where talking about killing kids.
Instead, the kids turns out to be parahumans. Some teenagers who immediately engaged Lung, shit hit the fans, I decided to stay out of it until Lung jumped into my position. What a wonderful start to my cape career!
BOOM! There goes another warehouse.
A technicolored explosion reached into the skies releasing multicolour fumes, must have been someone's hidden meth lab.
I continue running, oh my god, I hate this.
Lung barreled through a wall next to me, looking like a monstrous steel dragon surrounded by an aura of fire.
"RAAAAAAAAR!"
Ziiiiip
And suddenly there was a person standing in front of me. It was the people-sized version of the tiny person I saw amongst my swarm!
Lung seemed bewildered at the sudden appearance of another cape and he roared, lunging forward to attack with a mighty leap.
The Yellow man fired a beam of red laser at Lung from one his robotic arms....and Lung promptly disappeared.
Oh my god, did he just kill Lung!?
Wait no, one of my cockroaches (who's not dying from the heat, because goddamn cockroaches) noticed a tiny metallic person who resembled Lung falling from the sky in slow motion...right into the rising fingers of the full-sized Yellow Person... who flicked Lung away.
Lung rocketed away back into the hole he bursted out of with a yelp and oomph, tiny voice screaming into the darkness.
The Yellow person turned to face me.
Holy shit, he's super scary.
"Hero or Villain!?" I yelled at him. Stupid, stupid Taylor, did you just seriously said that to the dude who FLICKED LUNG away!
"Did you just...HA! Bwahahahaha!", he doubled over in laughter, his voice heavily modulated.
A couple of barks indicated that the teenage capes who were fighting Lung were now coming closer to see what was happening.
The Yellow Man looked at me with his terrifying full face helmet, "I saved your life, do not mention me to anyone, not on PHO, not anywhere else, understand?"
I have no idea who or what he is, but I do owe him one, so I nodded my head in acceptance.
"Good girl", and he disappeared (or shrunk as I've guessed now) as he leapt away.
The giant monstrous dog-monster things finally showed, I turned around.
"Thanks, you saved our bacon back there", the helmeted Teen with the skullface said....then turned his head quickly.
I listened- there was the roar of a motorbike.
"Aw shit, that must be Armsmaster, hey listen, we gotta scram- but we owe you one!"
And with that they quickly bounded away on their monster things.
I walked away from the burning area and towards the sound of the motorbike- SCRRRREEECH-CLANG.
What the fuck? I quickly hurried over to find a totaled Tinkertech bike, a fallen utility pole, and a groaning Armsmaster lying on his side in pain.
Oh my god.
I rushed over, "Armsmaster, are you okay!"
He looked up at me, eyes narrowing in suspicion and said in a defensive tone, "H-hero, or Villain?"
"H-" before I could reply, Armsmaster fainted. I noticed a tiny yellow person (this is generally only possible thanks to my bugs vastly different perspective) jumping away from his neck, and suddenly appeared full sized next to me, a syringe on one of his robot arms, dripping some kind of drug, I shrank back in fear.
"Wha-what did you do to Armsmaster, why did you do that!?"
"And, I derailed canon completely", he muttered to himself in his robo-voice, before turning to me, "get yourself home girl- you know nothing about the Cape World. I've just saved you from a world of hurt. Also, Armsmaster is a total douchebag, I forbid you from going near him again".
Forbid me- who did he think he was, my dad!?
And with that he leapt away becoming super tiny, my bugs tracked him until he vanished out of my range.
Clearly, I need to stop taking anti-depressants, because they're making me see things.
I cautiously had one of my bugs enter dad's room to make sure he is asleep. I had refrained from keeping bugs inside his room since I triggered because it's just too damn awkward. And creepy as fuck.
Through compound eyes I see that all is dark and there was no movement except for the heavy rise and fall of his chest. Good.
Okay, time to do this!
I opened the front door and out into the streets. It was time to be a hero.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The warehouse next to me exploded. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
FUCKING LUNG.
"AWOL KEEEL OOGH!"
I had my bugs swarm around Lung, biting, clawing, crawling between his regenerating skin, but his armoured skin was already pushing out the bugs, stopping them dead.
I had attacked too late!
It was all the fault of that tiny yellow person. When I noticed him amongst my swarm of bugs, it distracted me (because a tiny yellow person is pretty damn distracting if you'd saw him too!), so I totally missed my chance to jump Lung and his goons when they where talking about killing kids.
Instead, the kids turns out to be parahumans. Some teenagers who immediately engaged Lung, shit hit the fans, I decided to stay out of it until Lung jumped into my position. What a wonderful start to my cape career!
BOOM! There goes another warehouse.
A technicolored explosion reached into the skies releasing multicolour fumes, must have been someone's hidden meth lab.
I continue running, oh my god, I hate this.
Lung barreled through a wall next to me, looking like a monstrous steel dragon surrounded by an aura of fire.
"RAAAAAAAAR!"
Ziiiiip
And suddenly there was a person standing in front of me. It was the people-sized version of the tiny person I saw amongst my swarm!
Lung seemed bewildered at the sudden appearance of another cape and he roared, lunging forward to attack with a mighty leap.
The Yellow man fired a beam of red laser at Lung from one his robotic arms....and Lung promptly disappeared.
Oh my god, did he just kill Lung!?
Wait no, one of my cockroaches (who's not dying from the heat, because goddamn cockroaches) noticed a tiny metallic person who resembled Lung falling from the sky in slow motion...right into the rising fingers of the full-sized Yellow Person... who flicked Lung away.
Lung rocketed away back into the hole he bursted out of with a yelp and oomph, tiny voice screaming into the darkness.
The Yellow person turned to face me.
Holy shit, he's super scary.
"Hero or Villain!?" I yelled at him. Stupid, stupid Taylor, did you just seriously said that to the dude who FLICKED LUNG away!
"Did you just...HA! Bwahahahaha!", he doubled over in laughter, his voice heavily modulated.
A couple of barks indicated that the teenage capes who were fighting Lung were now coming closer to see what was happening.
The Yellow Man looked at me with his terrifying full face helmet, "I saved your life, do not mention me to anyone, not on PHO, not anywhere else, understand?"
I have no idea who or what he is, but I do owe him one, so I nodded my head in acceptance.
"Good girl", and he disappeared (or shrunk as I've guessed now) as he leapt away.
The giant monstrous dog-monster things finally showed, I turned around.
"Thanks, you saved our bacon back there", the helmeted Teen with the skullface said....then turned his head quickly.
I listened- there was the roar of a motorbike.
"Aw shit, that must be Armsmaster, hey listen, we gotta scram- but we owe you one!"
And with that they quickly bounded away on their monster things.
I walked away from the burning area and towards the sound of the motorbike- SCRRRREEECH-CLANG.
What the fuck? I quickly hurried over to find a totaled Tinkertech bike, a fallen utility pole, and a groaning Armsmaster lying on his side in pain.
Oh my god.
I rushed over, "Armsmaster, are you okay!"
He looked up at me, eyes narrowing in suspicion and said in a defensive tone, "H-hero, or Villain?"
"H-" before I could reply, Armsmaster fainted. I noticed a tiny yellow person (this is generally only possible thanks to my bugs vastly different perspective) jumping away from his neck, and suddenly appeared full sized next to me, a syringe on one of his robot arms, dripping some kind of drug, I shrank back in fear.
"Wha-what did you do to Armsmaster, why did you do that!?"
"And, I derailed canon completely", he muttered to himself in his robo-voice, before turning to me, "get yourself home girl- you know nothing about the Cape World. I've just saved you from a world of hurt. Also, Armsmaster is a total douchebag, I forbid you from going near him again".
Forbid me- who did he think he was, my dad!?
And with that he leapt away becoming super tiny, my bugs tracked him until he vanished out of my range.
Clearly, I need to stop taking anti-depressants, because they're making me see things.
Gh055twr1t3r
Idle Prophet
- Location
- United States
The beginning of this kinda scared me a bit. Inflicting brain damage on a minor while not supporting animal suffering is really contradictory and absolutely reeks of hypocrisy. Still gonna read just to find out what happens next but goddamn it this got really messed up really fast.
As far as the comments on the morality and judgement go, in this case I think he was a bit justified. Pointing out hypocrisy in a character's actions isn't a bad thing per say. Would it have been better if he said something along the lines of 'Your characters beliefs and actions contradict greatly so you should probably either fix that or make it a plot point to be called on later. Unless your going for crack, otherwise go nuts'
Eh, assaulting your daughter's bully doesn't really make you father of the year...at all. Emotional support and solving the problem in a way that isn't horrible is probably the better way to go.
As far as the comments on the morality and judgement go, in this case I think he was a bit justified. Pointing out hypocrisy in a character's actions isn't a bad thing per say. Would it have been better if he said something along the lines of 'Your characters beliefs and actions contradict greatly so you should probably either fix that or make it a plot point to be called on later. Unless your going for crack, otherwise go nuts'
Gh055twr1t3r
Idle Prophet
- Location
- United States
I think I'll be sitting here laughing either way.
Chapter 3: In the Land of Andrew Jackson
Numen
Long Time Creeper
- Location
- Canada
Chapter 3: In the Land of Andrew Jackson
I munched on my hashbrowns. Might have to think of getting Taylor to do some other vegetarian recipe and soon. I mean, hashbrowns are awesome et al, but I'm a middle aged man now, I'll need healthier fair or people might say Taylor's abusing her poor old dad.
Okay, so to recap last night....crisis #1 averted.
Namely, Taylor meeting Armsmaster. God, what a doucebag. Defiant was loads better as a character, I mean person. Person, they are people now, right. People with rights and stuff.......huuhh.
Ahem.
Anyway, I've been in this world for literally 3 days, and I've already invalidated canon, which means I'll have to wing it for the next two years, oh damn. Good job Daniel, GOOD JOB. I mean, I shrunk Lung! (temporarily, he should be back to normal soon). Those shrunk beams are super useful, although I had to adjust them so that they don't grant the shrunk person full-sized strength (like me). Instead the shrunk person has tiny strength. Muwhahahaha. Just imagining a tiny Lung running around in the night having misadventures made me all warm and fuzzy inside.
They can also be lethal, if you adjust the settings, it turns the target into a tiny puddle of meat. Oh man, it'll be impossible for anyone to trace any assassinations back to me. Muwahahahahaha.
My daughter gave me a weird look, oh shit, did I cackle out loud?
"Taylor, you're going to be late for school"
She hurried off. Back to school. Back to her bullies. Fuck Sophia. Fuck Emma too (any fondness I had for her evaporated when my new memories showed me what a douchebag she was). They will get what's coming to them. Oh yes, there will be justice.
Muwhahahaha.
Okay, who else, should I take care of this month, on my quest to minimize human suffering and be the greatest hero of all time? I am going to assume that Morgan Freeman will reward me with Pym Particles only on the condition that I caused as much havoc as possible. I might be wrong, but if I am not, might as well cause havoc that benefits the common, everyday, hard working folks- like the Dockworker's association....hmmm.
1. The Merchants (because they're the Merchants)
2. The Empire Eighty Eight (because Nazis. Also, super scary to go up against, I'll have to be careful around Max Anders )
3. The ABB (well, I should already be on Lung's shit list anyway, even if he has no idea who I am).
Okay, I think I'll strike out against the Merchants first. Also get some much-needed cash in here. I mean, good God, the financial situation of this household was just depressing!
And the American Currency. Ugh. It's so weird. Why is Andrew Jackson on my 20's....what the hell happened to QUEEN ELIZABETH II, the sovereign monarch of Canada!?
God, I miss Tim Hortons already. I'm going to have to see if I can befriend Dragon and get her to air-lift me some true Canadian Breakfast.
My phone suddenly ring. Whoa, who would be calling me?
I picked up, "Daniel Hebert speaking"
"Danny!? Why aren't you at work yet? We have a shipment that's coming in this morning, remember?"
Aw shit, according to my Daniel memories, this voice would belong to Kurt.
Okay, time to start up bullshitgenerator.ex in my brain.
"Well Kurt, l am feeling a bit under the weather this morning, last night, I crashed a really crazy party and stopped Taylor from going off with some super douchebag with a beard"
"Oh wow, I hope you wasted his face."
"I did, don't worry, righteous-fatherly-wrath was delivered, but it took alot out of me, I am not young anymore"
"Alright, we understand, we'll cover for ya, it's the least we can do after all that you've done for us, adios Danny"
"Bye Kurt"
Huh. What a nice guy. Actually, all of the Dockworkers are nice guys. Too bad they are barely making ends meet, and alot of them are joining the gangs because they have no choice. They have families to feed afterall.
Maybe I can do something about that.
Tonight, I strike. Strike Gold.
I munched on my hashbrowns. Might have to think of getting Taylor to do some other vegetarian recipe and soon. I mean, hashbrowns are awesome et al, but I'm a middle aged man now, I'll need healthier fair or people might say Taylor's abusing her poor old dad.
Okay, so to recap last night....crisis #1 averted.
Namely, Taylor meeting Armsmaster. God, what a doucebag. Defiant was loads better as a character, I mean person. Person, they are people now, right. People with rights and stuff.......huuhh.
Ahem.
Anyway, I've been in this world for literally 3 days, and I've already invalidated canon, which means I'll have to wing it for the next two years, oh damn. Good job Daniel, GOOD JOB. I mean, I shrunk Lung! (temporarily, he should be back to normal soon). Those shrunk beams are super useful, although I had to adjust them so that they don't grant the shrunk person full-sized strength (like me). Instead the shrunk person has tiny strength. Muwhahahaha. Just imagining a tiny Lung running around in the night having misadventures made me all warm and fuzzy inside.
They can also be lethal, if you adjust the settings, it turns the target into a tiny puddle of meat. Oh man, it'll be impossible for anyone to trace any assassinations back to me. Muwahahahahaha.
My daughter gave me a weird look, oh shit, did I cackle out loud?
"Taylor, you're going to be late for school"
She hurried off. Back to school. Back to her bullies. Fuck Sophia. Fuck Emma too (any fondness I had for her evaporated when my new memories showed me what a douchebag she was). They will get what's coming to them. Oh yes, there will be justice.
Muwhahahaha.
Okay, who else, should I take care of this month, on my quest to minimize human suffering and be the greatest hero of all time? I am going to assume that Morgan Freeman will reward me with Pym Particles only on the condition that I caused as much havoc as possible. I might be wrong, but if I am not, might as well cause havoc that benefits the common, everyday, hard working folks- like the Dockworker's association....hmmm.
1. The Merchants (because they're the Merchants)
2. The Empire Eighty Eight (because Nazis. Also, super scary to go up against, I'll have to be careful around Max Anders )
3. The ABB (well, I should already be on Lung's shit list anyway, even if he has no idea who I am).
Okay, I think I'll strike out against the Merchants first. Also get some much-needed cash in here. I mean, good God, the financial situation of this household was just depressing!
And the American Currency. Ugh. It's so weird. Why is Andrew Jackson on my 20's....what the hell happened to QUEEN ELIZABETH II, the sovereign monarch of Canada!?
God, I miss Tim Hortons already. I'm going to have to see if I can befriend Dragon and get her to air-lift me some true Canadian Breakfast.
My phone suddenly ring. Whoa, who would be calling me?
I picked up, "Daniel Hebert speaking"
"Danny!? Why aren't you at work yet? We have a shipment that's coming in this morning, remember?"
Aw shit, according to my Daniel memories, this voice would belong to Kurt.
Okay, time to start up bullshitgenerator.ex in my brain.
"Well Kurt, l am feeling a bit under the weather this morning, last night, I crashed a really crazy party and stopped Taylor from going off with some super douchebag with a beard"
"Oh wow, I hope you wasted his face."
"I did, don't worry, righteous-fatherly-wrath was delivered, but it took alot out of me, I am not young anymore"
"Alright, we understand, we'll cover for ya, it's the least we can do after all that you've done for us, adios Danny"
"Bye Kurt"
Huh. What a nice guy. Actually, all of the Dockworkers are nice guys. Too bad they are barely making ends meet, and alot of them are joining the gangs because they have no choice. They have families to feed afterall.
Maybe I can do something about that.
Tonight, I strike. Strike Gold.
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