Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Playing: Final Fantasy IX]

Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
I'm genuinely astonished by how much the Shinra tower revisit feels like an afterthought. Like, they went to the trouble of adding new endgame loot, but they didn't bother to include any NPCs you could talk to to really sell the atmosphere of impeding apocalypse and Shinra's fall. I feel like that, given the loot, there were plans for more story at some point, but then they started running out of time and decided to simply not bother with optional content.

Anyway, we grab all the stuff
I say this even though I know you will threaten me for this: did you really though

Cait Sith's ultimate weapon is hidden in a locker.
also is kinda hot and everyone kind of has a crush on him.
Never forget Gold Saucer Date Barret!
Did Tifa and Cloud have sex?
Even though I'm someone who's very convinced that Tifa is the true love interest of 7, I'm actually leaning towards "no" for one very simple reason… if Tifa has a high enough "affection value" she and Cloud wake up in the Chocobo stall next morning, which is even more gobsmackingly obvious.

Edit: This scene isn't in the finished game. A few other people feel like they've seen screenshots of it too, but there doesn't seem to be any evidence that it was deleted content either.
 
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The building is identical, except it's empty. Also, nobody has even cleaned up the Jenova blood trail in all these weeks.



FF7 is kinda bad at return trips.

I mean, don't get me wrong. It tries, and it gets points for effort. And there actual rewards that have been snuck in there so that returning through the first locations of the very beginning of the game is rewarding. But in a way, the very ability to retrace our steps back to those places we first visited in the game just highlight how it's all kind of… Hollow. The Slums at least had the unnamed inhabitants with updated dialogue about Meteor, even if it didn't have much else, but the Shinra Building is literally just taking a tour through an empty building to grab some loot. There's nobody. The only characters are outdated guard encounters. There are no employees to lament the state of Shinra or reflect on past events, the upper floors are straight-up locked and inaccessible… (There actually are employees in one of the upper floors, but it's one that we can't access through a locked door, so we can't talk to them.) Mayor Domino is gone, I doubt we'll ever meet him again. I thought we might meet Reeve and get to do a bit with Cait Sith but no, we won't be seeing Reeve here either. We still haven't seen Marlene and Elmyra since our initial escape.

It makes me kinda sad, honestly, I can't really explain why.
Yeah, it's always a bit of a disappointment in RPGs when you go back and revisit areas after major events... and nothing changes. Some Final Fantasy games have been better about this than others, granted.
…Heidegger and Scarlet.

I see this is going to be a comedy battle.

Slight side-note: Palmer just kinda vanished, didn't he? We saw him alive after getting run over by a truck, so he's still alive, but the game seems to have just kind of forgotten what it wanted to do with him, so he vanished off-screen. Which, I mean, he's a bumbling oaf but he's just not quite evil enough compared to Scarlet and Heidegger, so I guess the game just decided to discreetly take him off screen with no explanation. A little annoying, but whatever.
Not much more to do with him, I guess. He would feel even more out of place as a boss at this point considering he was already a ridiculous comedy fight, and he's so uninvolved in anything else in Shinra beyond shouting "SPAAAAAACE" which is old now that the rocket actually launched, might as well quietly lock him in his office to play with model spaceships and make vrooming noises while everyone else fails to deal with Cloud and Friends.
Anyway, Heidegger and Scarlet have drunk Midgar's entire store of Kool-Aid and fully believe that their new mech can defeat the Weapons and will have an even easier time defeating us (nobody tell them about the Ultima Weapon and the new crater in Cosmo Canyon), and it's time for payback for all their men we killed (Scarlet, who sent them in waves after waves long after it was clear they couldn't stop me?). Cue battle.
Ah yes, I'm sure the giant mecha can take on Cloud and company... you know, unlike the last twenty giant Shinra bots they've beaten the crap out of.
A fitting end? They were destroyed by their own arrogance, wielding their own creation, due to their refusal to ever acknowledge defeat or even weakness and their stubborn insistence on fighting us even after we'd proven stronger, even after it was all pointless, even after Rufus was dead, Shinra's army in shambles, their tech base destroyed, Hojo in control of their cannon, and with Sephiroth about to destroy the world.

Instead of being dispatched piecemeal over the course of the game, Scarlet and Heidegger stay the course until the end, where they die for the sole reason that they look at their ultimate anti-Weapon mech, and instead of using it to take down the mad scientist who is right now trying to give Sephiroth one final power boost, they used it to fight us.

They were idiots. Their ending was karmic and appropriate to their character, but ultimately they were never real threats. They lapsed into comedy relief relatively early on, with only the occasional heinous crime like Scarlet personally shooting Barret and Dyne (with an invisible gun, admittedly), and they just… Never posed a serious threat. So when they show up in their Great Value Gundam, it doesn't register as anything more than these two idiots in yet another overhyped junkpile about to meet their end.
In summary: exactly the same as the rest of Shinra, regulated to the comedy enemy pile that was only occasional resembling a threat past Midgar, and unceremoneously offed to make room for more important Sephiroth and JENOVA content. RIP In Piss I guess.
Hojo: "Oh… the Failure."
Cloud: "At least remember my name! I'm Cloud!"
Hojo: "Every time I see you… It pains me that I had so little scientific sense…"
Hojo: "I saw you as a failed project. But, you're the only one that succeeded as a Sephiroth-clone. Heh, heh, heh… I'm even beginning to hate myself."
Oh wow, Hojo actually acknoweldging that he was even remotely wrong about something? World really is ending!
…wait, why are we acting like this is all news to us?

Oh, right. Because Vincent's cave is completely optional. We can just miss that whole bit of storytelling, and the game's dialogue trees aren't that modular, so they just talk as if we hadn't seen any of it.

On the one hand, it's… good… That this whole bit of the story isn't as missable as I had believed at first; most of what's found in Lucrecia's Cave is actually conveyed through dialogue after all! On the other hand it's frustrating that everyone is pretending that didn't happen because it's sealed in the Optional Content Dimension.
Stuff like this does make me wonder if its a victim of time crunch/disk space, or like... the devs just genuinely didn't think about the idea. Maybe it's because I've spent well over a decade fiddling with RPG Maker off and on where you can just flip a single internal switch or variable to say "already got this backstory" and have some slightly different dialogue, but I have to lean towards crunch/space because it's genuinely not too hard of a thing to factor in.
Still, it means we get Vincent some closure. It's two sentences, because this character is as undercooked as a steak tartare, but it's something; it means he now sees Lucrecia's fate wasn't his fault, but entirely Hojo's, and that Hojo was the one who deserved punishment for his sins. It's not much, but it's something. He had an arc, it's resolved now.

God, imagine if we hadn't taken him on. He wouldn't even get that much.
It's kind of nuts thinking about it the gap between Yuffie and Vincent as optional characters. Yuffie has a ton of personality in every scene she's in, even when it's just "insert optional party member dialogue here", has an entire runaround sidequest in Wutai and boss pagoda, the works... and then Vincent has "I sure am brooding" and a one-off hidden cutscene area that gives us a quick bit of backstory before he goes back to sitting in the corner for the rest of the game.
…oh, we're doing Dr Lugae again.

Dr Lugae? Remember him? Final Fantasy IV mad scientist who ordered the death of Edge's kingdom and turned his parents into horrible mutant monsters? He takes to the field as a Dr Willy-lookalike fighting alongside his experimental subjects and then turns himself into a horrible robot zombie when we beat him? Yeah, Hojo is doing exactly that, I'm certain it's an intentional reference. And he's starting the fight with an unhealthy green hue.
Hojo seems like a bit less of a comedy boss, but yeah he's understandably absolutely worthless as an actual fighter until he stuffs his face with JENOVA cells.
In a way, Hojo is the true antagonist of the game, the man who not only set everything into motion but kept it into motion at every possible turn, every time, even when he didn't know he was doing it. And that's reflected in the level of care that goes into his boss fight, with multiple forms, a complex articulated model that shows damage, and a custom animation when this monster form falls… And turns into his final form.
Surprising that Hojo of all places is where the dev team gets to really flex their boss modeling muscles, but hey it is presumably near the end of the game and development, where they've had some time to get used to this whole 3D thing.
You know what Frieza Rules are. The bad guy starts off with a 'casual', normal form, then turns into a monstrous form that's either huge and buff or monstrous and hideous (Frieza has both in Form 2 and Form 3 respectively), and then just when you think his final form is going to turn even huger it turns out his final form is actually a simple, unassuming, humanoid shape.

That is 'Lifeform-Hojo NA,' Hojo's final form. I am pretty sure this is either referencing, or drawing from the same pool as, the term 'Ultimate Lifeform,' a phrase that I've seen used repeatedly in Japanese media (most notably in Sonic Adventure 2)? This is the apex of Hojo's transformation, a hovering, faceless, cyborg-like being. It uses combo strings, deploying status effects like Silence (which actually does suck, because it disables all my magic and summons and leaves my character to just use raw Attacks until I cure them) and following them up with physical attacks. I like him. Conceptually, this whole string of boss forms is one of my favorite in the game.

Doesn't mean it's any trouble dealing with, of course.
Boooo, gimmie more Truly Monsterous final forms for bosses, the "and then they were pretty" trend is a bother.

I mean, probably easier to draw/model/animate for complicated stuff, but come ooooon.
It's a very human game. Sure, we're fighting to save the living, sentient planet from the threat of Space Satan destroying the world, but none of that means anything if at the end of the day that world doesn't have someone or something we care about in it.

…it's imperfect, of course. While Cloud asks everyone to find the thing they're fighting for, he leaves this an open-ended question that doesn't receive an answer except from Barret, Mister "I Have One Thing In This World I Hold Dear And Have Been Bringing Up Continuously For The Whole Game" Man himself.
Yeah, while it still beats out FFVI there's certainly room for more party member declarations of "This is what I'm fighting foooooooor". Just an explicit line or two per character, that's all I ask!
Tifa asks Cloud if he thinks everyone will come back, and he says he isn't sure - everyone else has something precious to them, but their opponent is overwhelming. Then Tifa tells him it's okay even if no one else comes back: as long as Cloud is by her side, she'll never give up.

Could this be? Could Tifa get over her unbearable inability to speak about her feelings and honestly say she's in love with Cloud?
Tifa: "This day will never come again… So let me have this moment…"
Cloud: "Sure… This might be the last time we'll ever be together…"
[Fade again.]
AND THEN THEY FUCKED
And the answers people give seem to tie into Shipping Wars pretty heavily. Like some of these links up there aren't just saying "don't be dumb, they're fully clothed and just cuddling," they're arguing that this scene wasn't even romantic in nature and Cloud and Tifa are just good friends, which is an egregious refusal of the truth laid out before your eyes, presumably because you are a die-hard Cloud/Aerith shipper.
I, too, am such a diehard shipper of Cloud/A Literal Corpse that I will deny any possibility that the other still living love interest won by at bare minimum, default.
Right? That one line by Tifa changes the context completely, as does "It's time" rather than "We better go" - what they're saying is that the clock has run out and the others haven't come back to the Highwind, so they're going to proceed without them and fight Sephiroth on their own. The line about noise/ruckus is thus about Cloud saying he'll make so much noise by himself it'll feel like the others are there.

It's a pretty important beat! The fact that Cloud and Tifa think their friends haven't found it in them to fight for the Planet and that they'll have to do it with just the two of them, and that they think it'll be enough because they have each other, is kind of a big deal! Especially because it sets up the next plot beat coming immediately, as the Highwind stirs to life and starts moving, and Cloud and Tifa rush to the bridge to see what's going on…
I mean realtalk, they do have KotR Materia, Cloud and Tifa could totally go solo Sephiroth, who needs the rest of the crew?
…and, of course, it turns out everyone is already on board. Like they'd leave them to fight their greatest enemy and save the planet on their own, right?

The logistics of it are a bit… These characters are from literally across the entire planet. How did they coordinate meeting up and sneaking onto the airship in the middle of the night, like 'we go and pick them up one by one in the Highwind' was so obviously a more natural read, like - I'm thinking too hard about this, it doesn't matter.
Smh Omi forgetting you had a Gold Chocobo. Obviously they just took turns picking each other up on it, can cross the entire planet in like six minutes anyways wouldn't take long.
Man, for a game that has so many characters who are introduced as being the coolest motherfuckers alive who don't give a shit about anything, it's genuinely a running theme that the game is making fun of these guys and knocking them down a peg every chance it gets. The game is very clear-eyed about people who try to use style and posture to make up for lacking genuine character or virtue or feelings and how it's ultimately either an empty affect or reflective of a dangerous personality, whether that's Cloud, Sephiroth, Vincent, or to a lesser extent even Reno and Rude.
Makes it all the more of a shame that it feels as if every bit of FFVII spinoff material took all the cool brooding awesome dude characteristics at face value, honestly. Sephiroth again springs to mind, look at how the game dunks on him when the true Nibelheim backstory comes out, and how his entire plot later on is "I'm gaslighting Cloud out of sheer 'YOU DIDN'T WIN' spite". Meanwhile, everything else FFVII related goes "OOOOH IT'S DA SEPHIROTHS, QUICK PLAY THE THEME".

One more reason I wish we got an actual FFVII remake instead of a sequel.
She takes a moment to berate Barret for talking that way about her when she went this far with them even though she gets really sick on airships, then immediately runs off to be sick over the railing in the hall.

Even in her best moments, reality itself insists on bullying Yuffie.
Best girl? Best girl. I now agree with everyone who says Cloud and Tifa didn't bang, shipping Cloud/Yuffie

Wait that feels a shitload weirder now that I'm no longer a teenager like she is whoops, curse aging it makes all our childhood vidyagame crushes awkward.
For the non-players, as should be clear by now, not all discs were created equal - Part 2 was shorter than Part 1, and Part 3 is going to be shorter than Part 2. This 'end of part 2' screen doesn't mean there's another ten updates of story and gameplay content and multiple dungeons. We are heading now for the very final dungeon in the game.
Yeah, this is surprisingly common for those good old multi-disk RPGs on the PS1 - you've got two or three disks chock full of plot and story content, then the last disk is basically the "alright final dungeon unlocked go do sidequests and finish up" where everything's open to do, rather than like... say if FFV or FFVI were divided into three/two disks, one per world.

Of course it's also come up in thread that all the disks actually have all the game content, hasn't it? As in, the only actual difference (and what's taking up 90% of the memory per disk) is the FMVs. Disk 1 of FFVII contains the full, playable game if you do some PS1 cover popping tricks, the only thing you'll miss out is stuff like "you beat Sephiroth, now playing FMV-12.EXE which is totally the ending cinematic" and call "Cloud Rides A Motorcycle" instead.
 
It's time to invent genki-damas of violent thoughts to support statements like these.

There's such a thing as overdoing these moments of surprise emotional reveals and this is it. The fuck is this airship, a hide-and-seek parlor? Was everyone in simultaneous separate hiding from one another? No, seriously! Barret and Cid were hiding from Cloud and Tifa, Yuffie was hiding from Barret and Cid, the airship crew was hiding from everyone as they came aboard, this is just getting silly.
They had a bet for ages about whether Cloud and Tifa would get together. Nobody trusted each other to check on the two. Now everyone is a noughty noughty voyeur. :V
 
Just how many missable items did they put in this one sequence???

Quite a few. From the wiki:

  • In the in the building lobby, the Master Fist and Pile Banger are obtained for Tifa and Barret respectively. Master Fist is similar to God's Hand in that it can be made formidable if Tifa is under the effect of numerous negative statuses as each will double or triple her damage; unlike God's Hand, it has six Materia slots (all unlinked), but has lower base damage. The Pile Banger deals strong physical damage for Barret, but is weaker than the Max Ray overall.
  • In the stairs, a Behemoth Horn can be obtained. This is one of the stronger weapons for Red XIII in terms of physical damage, and has six Materia slots, though all are unlinked.
  • On the 63rd floor, a Grow Lance can be found for Cid, a decent all-around weapon with three pairs of linked Materia slots.
  • On the 64th floor, in a locker, Cait Sith's ultimate weapon, HP Shout, is found. Cait Sith's ultimate weapon deals more damage the higher Cait Sith's HP is and has maximum Materia slots, but as with other ultimate weapons, has no Materia growth. The vending machine nearby gives a Mind Source and a Speed Source.

Note: The vending machine will only yield the sources if you tried to buy from it back on the first visit and subsequently smacked it.
 
The third 'disc' (obviously the Steam version doesn't have discs but they kept the exact same separation of parts) also contains everything else, all the optional content we could be tackling now instead of doing it earlier, because, big dramatic speeches notwithstanding, there is nothing keeping us on the rails now - we can just fuck off and do sidequests, as we've always done.
There's also one leftover character moment if you head back to Cosmo Canyon. Meanwhile, Ruby WEAPON is enjoying a few minigames (wink wink nudge nudge).

Other than that... I'm kinda sad you never talked about the pilot of the Highwind "levelling up" as you progressed. There's a small character arc for them where they start off struggling with the airship and aren't very confident, but as the go on they get more and more confident, even hitting a limit break for the Return to Midgar.

So anyway, now that we've got to Hojo finally, blessedly, dying at last, I have a question @Omicron : is Hojo a worse parent than Athena?
 
Hojo summons two 'Sample' monsters from capsules, Pokémon-like.

…wait, Pokémon Red and Green had come out in Japan by 1997. Not in the US and Europe, where they waited (as Red and Blue) until '98 and '99, but in Japan they came out as early as '96, a full year before FF7. So this actually could be a direct homage, Hojo tossing out capsules and monsters popping out of them?
The concept of monster capsules actually goes back further than Pokemon. The most likely actual originator is Ultraseven, to the point that Pokemon had to change its name from the early "Capmon" for trademark reasons.


View: https://youtu.be/iESYl4Lvr9U?feature=shared
 
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It's kind of nuts thinking about it the gap between Yuffie and Vincent as optional characters. Yuffie has a ton of personality in every scene she's in, even when it's just "insert optional party member dialogue here", has an entire runaround sidequest in Wutai and boss pagoda, the works... and then Vincent has "I sure am brooding" and a one-off hidden cutscene area that gives us a quick bit of backstory before he goes back to sitting in the corner for the rest of the game.

Yuffie is an 'optional' character but the game makes it essentially certain you'll recruit her -- you can encounter her in any forest in the game and the chances get larger the later in the game the forest can be accessed -- unless you actively try to avoid it, and the game makes it pretty easy to wind up on Wutai for that sidequest as well.

Honestly she's written and used just like the fixed party members are, to the point where it wouldn't surprise me to learn she was originally one just like the others. Hell, she gets more development than Cid and arguably Cait Sith even with the wild swerve of 'Cait Sith is a robot Moogle controlled by a cat controlled by Reeve'.

Also she's just way more fun than anybody else in the cast. 'cept maybe Aerith.

Meanwhile Vincent is very clearly an afterthought in every way.
 
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Anyway, backtracking a few hundreds word back, if the line about Tifa asking Cloud if the stars see how hard they're fighting for them strikes you as weird, that's because it is. Cloud and Tifa aren't fighting for the stars, they're fighting for this planet, against a threat from the stars. The stars are, at best, witnesses. The Retranslated mod doesn't have the 'for them' part, just asks if the stars see how hard they're fighting, so I'm guessing the original translator followed through on what he thought was an implication in the JP script that wasn't actually there.
IIRC - and this is a bit beyond my skills so I might be off - the difference between "star" and "planet" in Japanese is a bit more fluid than it is in English (a bit like how world and planet is often used interchangably in Sci-Fi), hence why Mars is named 火星(Fire Star) and other planets similar. You also see this in Fate/Grand Order, where the chapter 星の生まれる刻 was translated as "The Moment a Planet is Born" despite 星 traditionally being translated as "star".

Cloud and Tifa are concievably wondering if there are other worlds in the infinite cosmos who are currently seeing their struggle, witnessing what might be the final moments of their own.
 
These shows are written with plausible deniability: romance is happening, but in a way that if the cops ask you, you can swear there's no romance and it won't be a lie.

This does remind me of the (I might be using the wrong term) expectation for Actresses, idols and even fictional female characters in Japanese media to forever be chaste and at the same time, available to the viewer.

it's something that pops up a lot. If I recall correctly, there even is a major anime (Love Live maybe?) that is so far into this idea that there are no masculine characters in it at all?

Anyway, Personally I don't think it super matters if Cloud and Tifa had sex then and there, they had a good romantic moment regardless.

I know this is supposed to be a sample named Bad Rap or somesuch, but I like to imagine that Hojo can damage you by just playing some track from his absolutely dogshit soundcloud.

Bad Rap Sample (monsters) uses Bad Rap Sample (Attack), which causes a Bad Rap Sample (.wav) to play.
 
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Man, for a game that has so many characters who are introduced as being the coolest motherfuckers alive who don't give a shit about anything, it's genuinely a running theme that the game is making fun of these guys and knocking them down a peg every chance it gets. The game is very clear-eyed about people who try to use style and posture to make up for lacking genuine character or virtue or feelings and how it's ultimately either an empty affect or reflective of a dangerous personality, whether that's Cloud, Sephiroth, Vincent, or to a lesser extent even Reno and Rude.
And then for the next couple decades everyone did everything in their power to completely ignore this detail and embrace the edginess.
 
Did someone have brainbugs about how implicit romance is somehow more elegant or sophisticated? Does 'I love you' feel too blunt to the writer so they're allergic to it? Or is it all Tifa's fault because she's physically incapable of speaking about her feelings and then a generation of writers went cargo cult on that specific point of characterization regardless of whether or not it made sense for other works and other characters? Or is it all indeed about 'plausible deniability' in the context of shipping, ie of writers wanting to make sure characters are never canonically nailed to one relationship so no, player, you can totally believe that Aerith was Cloud's One True Love and Tifa is just some hussy and she'll never be Cloud's girlfriend because Cloud will forever be faithful to Aerith's memory?

A mix of all of these, I think.

And I hate it.
You're not alone in that. It's endlessly frustrating that so many otherwise interesting stories specifically refuse to allow couples to be confirmed as couples officially for all of those reasons; and it ALWAYS makes the stories in question worse. It's already hard to swallow in supposed romantic stories where they can hide behind the "getting together is the endgame of the plot, of course it can't happen until the end", which is ridiculous in itself, since there's a ton of story space about couples that are together already having to navigate the up and downs of a relationship that is left completely unexplored as a result. But in stories where the romance is a side-plot, leaving it unresolved is annoying; at least have the issue be raised and something like "I'll need to think about it" be said by one of the people involved if you're not confident you can write a proper romantic resolution, but give the readers something.

Just wanted to show some solidarity there - I hope it can help.

if Tifa has a high enough "affection value" she and Cloud wake up in the Chocobo stall next morning
Ah! I wish they were anywhere that explicit about it. The version Omicron got (with Tifa being embarassed, presumably at the idea that somebody was peeping on her and Cloud) is the one higher affection gets you, nothing more than that is provided.

Anyway, @Omicron! about this:
Barret's Missing Score is one of two weapons that can trigger an overflow glitch in the game allowing you to instantly defeat any enemy in the game bar one
The other weapon that can be glitched is already available for you, waiting to be picked up in Lucretia's cave... but that one isn't powered up by AP. Go ahead, guess what powers up Vincent's ultimate weapon: what do you think the most annoying thing to do to strengthen a character like him would be?
 
You're not alone in that. It's endlessly frustrating that so many otherwise interesting stories specifically refuse to allow couples to be confirmed as couples officially for all of those reasons; and it ALWAYS makes the stories in question worse. It's already hard to swallow in supposed romantic stories where they can hide behind the "getting together is the endgame of the plot, of course it can't happen until the end", which is ridiculous in itself, since there's a ton of story space about couples that are together already having to navigate the up and downs of a relationship that is left completely unexplored as a result.

I'm thinking about how Sailor Moon Crystal does everything but flash a giant neon sign saying "AND THEN THEY FUCKED" when Usagi and Mamoru get together in the Crystal Tokyo arc, and yet they still have 3.5 arcs worth of relationship content to navigate. More things should commit like that.


Anyway, @Omicron! about this:

The other weapon that can be glitched is already available for you, waiting to be picked up in Lucretia's cave... but that one isn't powered up by AP. Go ahead, guess what powers up Vincent's ultimate weapon: what do you think the most annoying thing to do to strengthen a character like him would be?

There isn't a chance in hell Omi is glitching out either weapon. I'm nowhere close to either and I've been actively working towards making sure Vincent's is at least usable ever since I got him. Missing Score is much easier but Omi only mastered their first materia in, like, the Diamond Weapon update, so while the 600k+ AP total needed to bring it to parity with the other stuff isn't out of reach there's no world without cheats where the multiple millions needed to trigger the overflow are going to happen.
 
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In the (now deserted) shop, we find the Master Fist, a powerful weapon for Tifa whose deceptively low stats (38 is hilariously outdated) hide the fact that its damage rating is multiplied while under certain status effects - notably, the Curse Ring combo I have her equipped with means she is under 'Death-sentence,' which increases the multiplier of its damage by 2, which if I understand the math at work right, would triple the damage to 114, higher than God's Hand? Unclear if I'm getting right, but if not, it's possible to increase the damage even further by tagging Tifa with a permanent, low-stakes status effect like Sadness from Tranquilizers.

I wonder if the joke here is 'Master' Fist, as in Drunken Master. You 'drink' more, pile on the status effects, and fight better as a result.

And getting talked down to for it has nagged at me ever since now you get this lecture

Getting talked down to is awful.

Still, it means we get Vincent some closure. It's two sentences, because this character is as undercooked as a steak tartare, but it's something; it means he now sees Lucrecia's fate wasn't his fault, but entirely Hojo's, and that Hojo was the one who deserved punishment for his sins. It's not much, but it's something. He had an arc, it's resolved now.

God, imagine if we hadn't taken him on. He wouldn't even get that much.

Yeah, once again, FF7's characters aren't all created equal. It's still doing much better in this department than VI (remember Umaro?), but it's uneven in a way that it has to consciously navigate around in big thematic moments like this.

Come on Omicron. 'Much' better? Sure, Umaro and Gogo are basically just gameplay gimmicks, but like, that's fine when the game isn't trying to pretend like a secret character has a character arc like with Vincent.

Did Tifa and Cloud have sex?

No, like - the cinematic language at work here is pretty well trod: Two characters are sharing a moment of romantic realization that they both like each other, one of them says something that kind of trails off, a fade to black to preserve modesty, and then we open on them, later in the night or before the break down, lying in bed next to one another. Now, of course Cloud and Tifa aren't in bed, and they're fully clothed, but this is still some really evocative visual language that's being used here.

"Omi, what are you talking about, they clearly just spent the night talking to each other and Tifa fell asleep against Cloud's shoulder, it's very cute but nobody would think sex happened here!"

Really? Really?

Cloud walked her home gently.

Yeah, while it still beats out FFVI there's certainly room for more party member declarations of "This is what I'm fighting foooooooor". Just an explicit line or two per character, that's all I ask!

That was... literally the pre-final boss scene in VI? And you're saying that VII is not hitting that bar? And then somehow 'still beats out VI'?
 
Getting talked down to is awful.

I think I see what happened and it's kind of my fault.

See, take a look at this post, replying to when Omicron was talking about the first ultimate he found, the Premium Heart:

forums.sufficientvelocity.com

Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Playing: Final Fantasy IX] Let's Play

Much later. Emerald is an optional superboss and if Sense had worked you would've been extremely depressed: It has one million hit points. Just so you know the scale of what you're getting into there. A few things open up with access to the submarine though: There's an optional dungeon...

He mentions it had 'eight materia slots, all linked' and then a short rant essentially about 'but no AP growth, damnit'.

I quoted both parts and said 'that's true of all the ultimate weapons except Aerith's, which had normal AP growth', and what I was trying to say was that both parts were true -- all the ultimates have four sets of two linked materia slots (for a total of 8), and they all have zero AP growth.

But because of the 'except for Aerith's' piece I added it would've been real easy to think that I was only talking about the AP growth in particular. :(
 
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I think I see what happened and it's kind of my fault.

See, take a look at this post, replying to when Omicron was talking about the first ultimate he found, the Premium Heart:

forums.sufficientvelocity.com

Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Playing: Final Fantasy IX] Let's Play

Much later. Emerald is an optional superboss and if Sense had worked you would've been extremely depressed: It has one million hit points. Just so you know the scale of what you're getting into there. A few things open up with access to the submarine though: There's an optional dungeon...

He mentions it had 'eight materia slots, all linked' and then a short rant essentially about 'but no AP growth, damnit'.

I quoted both parts and said 'that's true of all the ultimate weapons except Aerith's, which had normal AP growth', and what I was trying to say was that both parts were true -- all the ultimates have four sets of two linked materia slots, and they all have zero AP growth.

But because of the 'except for Aerith's' piece I added it would've been real easy to think that I was only talking about the AP growth in particular. :(
I forgive you.

Also I did find the Megaphone, and I wanted to note that I thought the idea of having Cloud stumble on a random megaphone very early in the game, leaving it there because why would he need a megaphone, and then it turning out to be Cait Sith's ultimate weapon, the most powerful megaphone in the game, once Cait Sith is actually in the party, was a pretty clever gag and one of the few bits of the Shinra Building revisit that made me go "hah!"

In fact I assume that locker was Reeve's own, personal locker. Why would a Shinra executive not have the most powerful weapon money can buy/Shinra techs can design from the very start? Only for whatever reason, he couldn't get it into Cait Sith's hands when sending it to Gold Saucer, so it languished there all game.

You're not alone in that. It's endlessly frustrating that so many otherwise interesting stories specifically refuse to allow couples to be confirmed as couples officially for all of those reasons; and it ALWAYS makes the stories in question worse. It's already hard to swallow in supposed romantic stories where they can hide behind the "getting together is the endgame of the plot, of course it can't happen until the end", which is ridiculous in itself, since there's a ton of story space about couples that are together already having to navigate the up and downs of a relationship that is left completely unexplored as a result. But in stories where the romance is a side-plot, leaving it unresolved is annoying; at least have the issue be raised and something like "I'll need to think about it" be said by one of the people involved if you're not confident you can write a proper romantic resolution, but give the readers something.

Just wanted to show some solidarity there - I hope it can help.


Ah! I wish they were anywhere that explicit about it. The version Omicron got (with Tifa being embarassed, presumably at the idea that somebody was peeping on her and Cloud) is the one higher affection gets you, nothing more than that is provided.

Anyway, @Omicron! about this:

The other weapon that can be glitched is already available for you, waiting to be picked up in Lucretia's cave... but that one isn't powered up by AP. Go ahead, guess what powers up Vincent's ultimate weapon: what do you think the most annoying thing to do to strengthen a character like him would be?
It's going to be "how many opponents Vincent personally has killed in the whole game," isn't it.
 
That was... literally the pre-final boss scene in VI? And you're saying that VII is not hitting that bar? And then somehow 'still beats out VI'?
I absolutely worded it badly, but I'm saying this particular scene really could have used a bit more chiming in by the cast - overall, characters like Yuffie and Vincent are still higher on the overall characterization chart than say Gogo and Umaro since FFVII has general party member banter and chime ins that depend on who's in the party, rather than FFVI being mainly limited to generic "other party member" lines when it doesn't know for a fact a specific character is with you.

Really, I just think the FFVII cast is generally better by dint of being a smaller group so more room for them all to get their own story beats, and having their own little character interjections as specific lines (note that's not me saying the worst of FFVII is better than the best of FFVI, most of FFVI's cast still blows Vincent out of the water bare minimum).
Yeeeep. It actually deals less damage than an equal-strength normal gun unless he has at least 768 kills, reaching the same power as everyone elses ultimate weapon at full power requires 6912.
...Man, this would be totally easy to abuse if FFVII were faster/had autobattle like the Pixel Remasters - just knock out everyone but Vincent, find an easy area with big encounter groups, and go to town for half an hour.

Buuuut FFVII isn't particularly quick with its random battles, and Omi isn't playing a version with those features, and Vincent is overall one of the more lackluster party members, so I suspect that won't be happening.
 
It's going to be "how many opponents Vincent personally has killed in the whole game," isn't it.

Yup. You need around 7000 to hit parity with the other weapons. This is non-trivial to accomplish even with having Vincent in the party consistently unless you specifically feed him the kills.

However, you can make the weapon almost ten times stronger than that, and because of that, you can overflow the internal damage calculation (before it gets capped to 9999), which will result in the game simply oneshotting whatever enemy is hit by it with a singular exception.

If you, you know, want to spend a lot of hours grinding out the necessary kills.

At 2 encounters per minute and 4 kills per encounter, for 480 kills an hour, it would take 135 hours to get you to 64,800 kills. Max attack strength is achieved a bit past 65k. Set up correctly you might be able to push the kill rate higher but not by huge amounts since the battle transition time is kind of irreducible. :(
 
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