Remove ads

Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Finished: Final Fantasy Tactics]

Reader mode
Omicron said:
Alright, I've watched it.

I set out to write about the movie and figured I should at least give a summary of the plot.

It's already 6 pages long with pictures and 900 words covering just the first 9 minutes of the movie, like a third of it a tangent just about what the movie does with Midgar.

It turns out when something is really mediocre in a way that is both frustrating and interesting I have to actively fight the urge to not rant at length about it.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
And you thought you wouldn't be writing 50,000 words on a mediocre followup to a popular thing with a blonde protagonist.
 
Gun Jam said:
So, assuming it is VIII...
How many here played it, how many didn't?
Speaking for myself, ain't got no clue what's gonna happen.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
IIRC, I played all the way into the start of the final boss battle, but I don't think I ever beat the final boss. Though the memory's muddled a bit by what I think was seeing the ending online later. I'm also not sure how much of the side content I went through.
(Also, I don't think I ever actually properly understood the battle system until years after playing, and apparently managed to completely miss multiple reportedly fairly easily discoverable potential ways to break it in half.)

MiskWisk said:
I managed to brute force my way despite not fully understanding the mechanics for most of it up to the start of disc 4. I then ran into a certain boss that finally broke me and I just lost all desire to finish the game at that point.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Oh hey, sounds familiar. :D
Though also like I got somewhat farther than you... I don't remember just where Disc 4 starts, though.

daniel_gudman said:
I genuinely don't think I ever cast a spell or summoned a GF the entire time, outside of maybe mandatory events?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
IIRC, I mostly fought by summoning GFs. Mind, I don't claim now that that was a particularly good idea, so I don't know how strange your way actually is.
 
So, I've mulled over the ending of FFVII some, and I think everyone (except Nanaki) does die in the end.

The main evidence to the contrary is the existence of various sequels and spinoff for FFVII, but consider that all of them consistently depict Aerith as a saintly healer girl and Tifa as a boisterous punchy girl, contrary to their original characterization. From there, it's simple to deduct that those works actually take place in an alternative timeline where Aerith and Tifa's personalities were switched, which caused various butterflies (most likely focused on the contents of Aerith's Prayer) that resulted in everyone surviving.

The original cast you see in the game, though? Dead as a doorknob.

In conclusion, Aerith being a gremlin caused the apocalypse, as expected.
 
Actually, thinking about it, here's something that would be interesting to do more often: polling people ahead of an update now that I have most of my own thoughts on the topic typed up.

Here's a question to my readers who've seen Advent Children:

What, if anything, do you think about the main antagonist(?) Kadaj?

"I don't think about Kadaj at all" is of course a valid answer.
 
Omicron said:
What, if anything, do you think about the main antagonist(?) Kadaj?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
As a character, I think he was extremely under-cooked, he was a couple of raw unchopped vegetables rolled up in a burrito and called a cute little dumpling.

Thinking more about the story generally, he was a coward's answer to the question "how do we bring back Sephiroth for the big set piece fight scene at the end of the movie"
 
Omicron said:
Actually, thinking about it, here's something that would be interesting to do more often: polling people ahead of an update now that I have most of my own thoughts on the topic typed up.

Here's a question to my readers who've seen Advent Children:

What, if anything, do you think about the main antagonist(?) Kadaj?

"I don't think about Kadaj at all" is of course a valid answer.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Too much whiney prettyboy going "mmmmutherrrrr," not enough creepy horror movie villain. A supremely boring antagonist who only exists as a vehicle to bring Sephiroth back for a final boss fight.
 
Omicron said:
Actually, thinking about it, here's something that would be interesting to do more often: polling people ahead of an update now that I have most of my own thoughts on the topic typed up.

Here's a question to my readers who've seen Advent Children:

What, if anything, do you think about the main antagonist(?) Kadaj?

"I don't think about Kadaj at all" is of course a valid answer.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Who?:p

Okay, seriously, a whiny little pretty boy brat who's basically trying to fill shoes he has no business trying on.
ApocalypticFish said:
As someone who has seen Advent Children:

Who the hell is Kadaj?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Basically the leader of the white-haired guys who act as the antagonists/villains for most of the movie. The smaller one who keeps whining about mommy.
 
Yeah, all I remember about the two not!Sephiroths (there were two, right?) is that one got unbelievably enhanced by the narrative so he could beat Tifa in a fistfight (total character assassination) and there was... another one? I guess? I think the bike fight scene was cool IIRC?
 
Genuinely don't remember anything about him beyond "exists to be a body for Sephiroth to show up at the end because OH MAH GOD IT'S SEPHIROTH I KNOW HIIIIIIM".

Seeing as my opinion of Sephiroth is already "should have left him dead in FFVII where he belongs", I don't have a particularly high opinion of a deus ex machina character who exists to bring him back.
 
Kadmus said:
Yeah, all I remember about the two not!Sephiroths (there were two, right?) is that one got unbelievably enhanced by the narrative so he could beat Tifa in a fistfight (total character assassination) and there was... another one? I guess? I think the bike fight scene was cool IIRC?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
There were three. The one you're thinking of (the one who fought Tifa, basically the only scene he's memorable for) was the biggest/tallest of the three, had the shortest hair and was basically the brute. Kadaj (whose name I only remembered by reading from the internet and I couldn't be arsed to read up on/remember the other two because they were basically the muscle) was the leader of the trio (or the one with the most lines) who basically acted as Sephiroth's vessel in the last battle, and had shoulder-length hair. There was a third with long hair, but can't remember what he did for the duration of the movie and I couldn't give a crap, really.

EDIT: And yes, it was complete and utter bullshit for him to come back from that fight after Tifa well and truly kicked his ass. He (all of them to be honest) had plot armor so the plot can happen.
 
Last edited:
Kadaj is what you get if you have Sephiroth minus the mystique. He and his brothers (they're basically one character) are a group of man-children who bumble through the plot and would have been easily defeated by any of the protagonists of FF7 if they had their shit together. Their biggest power boost comes because Cloud left all the party's materia in a crate in an abandoned church. Cloud's ennui, in a very real sense, is the more important and effective villain then them.
 
To say something positive about Kadaj, I think they could have had something had they delved a bit more into the fact that he knows he's a puppet who has no value of his own, and how it eats at him. Unfortunately the closest you get to that is a line where he snaps at Cloud.

Ultimately, he's a boring, undercooked villain who doesn't achieve much of anything of value.
 
A much better movie would've been deliberately about those Three Boys semi-competently sneaking around trying to pull off their big summoning ritual while also very scared the whole time that one of the level 80 game protagonist characters would find them and turn them inside out.

The story of FF7 was complete when the game ended, if they wanted to tell a follow-up it should have been the story of these Leftover Clone Guys doing an adventure together where they get sympathy for clearly being mind-controlled by Sephiroth, who is Very Mad
 
The sad thing is there's a lot of extended universe material that is better than the film. Like Aerith moving through the Lifestream. Or Rufus slowly starting to become a less terrible excuse for a person.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top