Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Playing: Final Fantasy IX]

"only" "one" with a summon animation "longer" than a minute...

That's not actually a relief.

FF7's notorious for its summon times for a reason. I'm just saying it doesn't get much worse than this.

And Bahamut-Z's plenty useful in that -- like all the Bahamut summons -- he no-sells magic defence and Reflect (and sometimes doesn't trigger counterattack scripts, though I believe that depends on the opponent).
 
Last edited:
A view of the planet from orbit, followed by a transition to the moon, a lens flare, and then a dragon coming from behind the moon, spreading its wings like some kind of laser satellite opening its solar panels, and then unleashing an orbital beam on the the enemy.
Hmmm, Bahamut coming from the moon? That sounds awfully familiar.

This update really crystallizes my mixed feelings on Cid. On the one hand 'man who's bitter Shinra took his life goal from him' is, in theory, a great addition to the story. On the other hand he gets very little screen time with Shinra to show the bitterness, and the devs resort to abuse instead. He's ultimately hamstrung by how late in the game you meet him.

There's definitely a world in which Cid is found in Kalm or Junon as a more despondent character, that grows to a more active anti-Shinra role as the game goes on. That would put him in contrast to Barret who becomes less focused on Shinra and more on the planet. That would probably require more late disk 1 Shinra interactions though.
 
This is probably the cheapest move I've pulled in this LP, literally looking up the code mid-minigame, but like I said before, I don't respect these puzzles and, judging from the fact that the hint system was lying to me, they don't deserve my respect.
An amusing fact about this bit, if you punch in the right code the very first time, Cid gives some dialogue wondering how the hell you knew the code.
 
Last edited:
I would love to work it out like that, but I'm not doing that shit on a three minutes deadline when our last save point was two cutscenes, an FMV and several combat encounters ago. I just tab out and go look for it (the answer, it turns out, is OK, SWITCH, CANCEL, CANCEL. This means Cid's hint to use MENU is a red herring, I assume due to a poor translation from a line originally saying to not use MNU, it's the only explanation I have for it; all my attempts included MENU because of the line "Did you use MENU? I'm pretty sure you didn't," so I would never have found it in time on my own.) This is probably the cheapest move I've pulled in this LP, literally looking up the code mid-minigame, but like I said before, I don't respect these puzzles and, judging from the fact that the hint system was lying to me, they don't deserve my respect.

... he's talking to himself, trying to remember the code. "Did you use Menu? I'm pretty sure you didn't," therefore means "I'm pretty sure Menu wasn't part of the code".
 
Shera unexpectedly and uncharacteristically finished fixing the Auto-pilot ahead of time,
...
SHERA???

DID SHE LOCK HERSELF INTO THE ENGINE SECTION OF THE ROCKET AGAIN?
I choose to believe that Shera did not in fact fix the auto-pilot on time, and decided to fix it while riding the rocket up. And if it kills her, well, it isn't like this is the first time she's tried this.

Like, I'm half convinced that Shera was in love with the rocket itself, and wanted to be with her love when it died.
 
Just one throwaway line about how Shinra's plan wouldn't fully destroy the meteor, that instead it'd merely shatter and devastate the surface of the planet, but who cares Sector 0 would survive intact, would have made things make so much more sense.

And since it looks like the sound effect has been cast as Sir Not Appearing In This Film Let's Play, I found it on YouTube for everyone's listening pleasure.

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Lkw5MeO-VWw
 
Last edited:
As much as I like Rude, standing at 9,000 HP with only two Shinra soldiers as backup, he is one of the easiest boss fights we've encountered. Both soldiers are easily dispatched, and then a couple of Tier 3 spells take care of him.
Oh... wow.

You know, it says how little impact Rude has at this point I legitimately forgot he even turns up here.

Yeah. One saving grace even the most boring fights and grindiest dungeons had in previous FFs was that combat was fast. Autobattling made random encounters even faster but even for real fights, summons and spells were lightning-quick. I am starting to dread having to actually fight FF7's superbosses; like, when I took a shot at the Emerald Weapon and saw the 20 minute timer, my immediate reaction was to dismiss it as a mechanic that probably didn't matter because the idea of any Final Fantasy boss aside from the final boss setpiece taking that long or more seemed… Ridiculous.
Hoo boy.

Look at it this way Omi, at least you won't be made physically ill by these superbosses.

Absolute Virtue is in XI after all.
 
FWIW though I believe there's only one other summon with an animation time longer than Bahamut Zero's.
And whether Omicron will have the patience to do the entire chocobo breeding / racing minigame to get Knights of the Round, well, I'd forgive them if they skipped it. 😂

...also, with the summon time for that one, I think Omnislash has higher DPS overall?
 
...also, with the summon time for that one, I think Omnislash has higher DPS overall?

Some Limit Breaks flat out have the best DPS in the game, yeah. Not just Omnislash -- there's a number of high multi-hit attacks that can put out huge amounts of damage. I believe straight up physical attacks can actually do more damage faster than even the ultimate summon, at least against a single target, even once you consider the ATB recharge, especially if you work out ways to get more than one per charge. It's just that that means you're giving the enemy more actions.
 
Last edited:
Ignore the fact that Tifa jumped five levels since last update. Nothing is happening here.
There's this crater here now that wasn't there before, on the Eastern Continent.
Please ignore this chocobo.
Well; we didn't cover up a lot of ground event-wise, but I've been pretty busy with unrelated things so you'll have to do with this somewhat meandering update about the end of the Huge Materia arc where I haven't even collected all the Huge Materia yet. Don't worry, though! I'll be looking for the sunken submarine with the last one soon, plus a couple of other things like the crashed Guernica that is allegedly somewhere.
I'm really curious about what you've been doing here; looking forwards to hear about your explorations.

I am starting to dread having to actually fight FF7's superbosses; like, when I took a shot at the Emerald Weapon and saw the 20 minute timer, my immediate reaction was to dismiss it as a mechanic that probably didn't matter because the idea of any Final Fantasy boss aside from the final boss setpiece taking that long or more seemed… Ridiculous.

I now realize that was foolish. Well. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it - or we won't, as the case may be.
It's technically possible to beat Emerald Weapon under the 20 minutes time limit - it might have 1 million HP, but it has very low defenses for a boss - but you'd need to know in advance what you're doing, to put the strategy into effect with minimal time wasted, and of course it requires a minimum threshold of power (in the forms of strength, durability and abilities) that you don't have yet.

In general, most fights with a superboss in Final Fantasy, from this game on, are likely to take between thirty and forty minutes, although that's for a winning run - as you just experienced with the Emerald Weapon, a lost run can go considerably quicker. And, of course, not all super-bosses are created equal - most don't have a million HP, in fact one of the hardest in the entire series has around... 60 to 75k, I think? - so there's a few who'd go down quickly. But you should definitely be prepared for at least three or four "half-an-hour-long" fights from now on, assuming you want to tackle them. My personal limit would be for the few "above-one-hour" fights; I could understand not wanting to go through those repeatedly. But that's a matter of personal taste, and as I said, most superbosses will clock at around half-an-hour or thereabouts anyway; I think that can be done.
 
Last edited:
What a tearful and dramatic scene that they absolutely couldn't show because who has time and funds in the budget for that, let's do another Huge Materia heist

What do you mean 'Sector 5 key', I'm sure they'd remember giving you guys something like that

At least we know our good buddy Cait Sith is there to pick up our slack
 
Y'know, initially I thought that Shera told Palmer that she had the Autopilot working literally as she was putting her tools away afterwards and he just launched the rocket with her in, to kill Avalanche, but I'm becoming more convinced of he suicide fetish as time goes on.

The "Oh no it didn't work" after they literally just finished sabotaging it was pretty funny though.
 
Y'know, initially I thought that Shera told Palmer that she had the Autopilot working literally as she was putting her tools away afterwards and he just launched the rocket with her in, to kill Avalanche, but I'm becoming more convinced of he suicide fetish as time goes on.

The "Oh no it didn't work" after they literally just finished sabotaging it was pretty funny though.
Between Shera's insane suicidal tendencies, Cid's house only having one "bed" in the form of the couch (meaning they probably don't live together), and Cid's immediate revulsion when Cloud calls Shera his wife, I'm almost inclined to believe that she's just a crazy person who breaks into Cid's house to take care of him against his will.
 
Between Shera's insane suicidal tendencies, Cid's house only having one "bed" in the form of the couch (meaning they probably don't live together), and Cid's immediate revulsion when Cloud calls Shera his wife, I'm almost inclined to believe that she's just a crazy person who breaks into Cid's house to take care of him against his will.
There's a reason Cid is so ready to go off world traveling. It means Shera can't reliably know where he'll be sleeping...
 
Also, I really feel this bit about the most important thing being not to read. This hasn't been an issue for me for years, but as a child, I would insist on reading during family car trips (the alternative was unthinkable, unbearable boredom), and that would inevitably result in my getting sick at some point during the trip. Even once I understood the correlation, though, I couldn't not do it.

I used to do the exact same thing, exacerbated by the fact that my childhood home was in a very mountainous region with zero straight roads, lmao. As a result, many of my fondest childhood memories are bookmarked by splitting headaches and the intense need to vomit.

We enter the cockpit, where we find the… Pilots, mechanics, engineers, whatever. These guys aren't random Shinra employees dispatched from Midgar, they're locals, and Cid and they know each other;
Cid: "Hey! What the hell're you guys doin'!?" [They turn around.] "Hey! Just when I thought somethin' was goin' on, you come back!" (I have no idea what this means.)

I'm guessing that it's specifically the crew he worked on the rocket with before it was mothballed, and he's surprised to see them come back right as things are popping off. But really, who else is Shinra going to ask? You could probably count the number of qualified people in the entire world on both hands.

The science/magic angle with Cid is a bit more out of left field. It's not that technology/magic hasn't been a conflict in the game before, it obviously has, it's that… Science is bad when it's exploitative and ruins the world, and it's good when it's used for the benefit of all; the game isn't down on science as a concept, we have Cosmo Canyon's planetology to stand as testament to that, but they have never been presented in a way where Cid going "Actually I want to trust this rocket to save the Planet rather than Materia" has been, like, a conflict we've seen?
.......................
Ooooh, right. It's because Shera is the one fixing the auto-pilot and he automatically doesn't trust her to do the job on time and is willing to sacrifice his life just like she almost committed suicide-by-rocket to finish her job back during the first launch. Because these two people are insane and Cid is a good ol' sexist.
........................
Or more charitably it's because he sees this as his one chance to actually fulfill his dream and go to space, and he's willing to die for it. But let's be real it's the Shera thing.

Rack another one up for "interesting Cid characterization that probably should have been established anytime before the scene where it becomes immediately relevant." Much like how people backfill character traits in their head for Cloud, Aerith, etc., I think people just sort of remember Cid's endpoint of "cranky man with begrudging heart" and not the very shaky steps it takes to get there.

Then the ship suddenly starts to rumble. Everyone looks up and goes 'what the hell,' and a voice comes over the comms. It's… Heavy sigh… Palmer.
Shera unexpectedly and uncharacteristically finished fixing the Auto-pilot ahead of time, and so Palmer just launched the rocket of his own initiative without any warning.
I think the implication here is that Palmer, knowing Avalanche was inside the rocket, pushed the Auto-pilot without any warning as a way to trap them in the rocket and blast them off into space, getting rid of two problems at the same time by blowing them up alongside Meteor.

Good ol' Palmer. In a bit of backstory I've just made up out of whole cloth, I always had him pegged as someone who got in on the ground floor of the old Shinra business, back in the Arms Dealer days. Like, maybe his dad or his brother knew Shinra Sr., and they finagled him a spot in the company where they just shuffled him around into whatever position needed a warm body and a rubber stamp.

This is a real 'we just threw something in to drag the plot along' moment. I think I've said the Huge Materia arc has an episodic vibe to it and that just continues it. The Gang Gets Trapped In A Rocket. It's dumb, but it's Palmer, so who cares? Just roll with it. Next plot beat please.

In the alternate universe where FF7 is an anime, the Huge Materia Arc is the filler arc the production team stuck in 2/3rds of the way so they had time to go sicko mode properly animating the finale. It's fine, but you'll probably skip it on a rewatch.

the noodly-armed scientist somehow proves all that was needed for Max Strength Fighters Tifa and Cloud to leverage aside the metal door and free Cid, allowing everyone to race for the escape pod.

I usually have a lot of leeway for a character's ability not being measured in hard metrics so long as the general limit of what they can/can't accomplish is consistent. But this is the first time in this particular game that I've found it obnoxious, since it's so egregious this time around. The callback is great, but there's a million better ways to do it than making a guy that literally swings giant pieces of metal around as a career somehow unable to lift a 10 foot sheet of scrap. But then again, a theoretically good premise, set up and executed weirdly is what you could summarize Cid's entire role in the plot as.

Listen, I realize that this is meant to be Cid showing he's experienced character growth by actually displaying trust in Shera's safety obsession and the accuracy of her checks, but what these two have got going on is fucked up, probably some kind of kink, and I want no part of it.

They're the couple doing public DD/LG Tank Healer RP in Alliance Chat, while the rest of the party is mentally screaming at them to please, for the love of God, STOP.

Cait Sith drops the minor bomb that Bugenhagen actually used to work for Shinra, although he 'never bought weapons or Mako.' Strange man.

It finally gives some context to the line WAAAAYYYY back when you first visit Cosmo Canyon, where Cait mentions that he hadn't been back there in a long time.

Bugenhagen exhorts Cloud to dig into his memories and recall something that would be of use, but Cloud can't think of anything, and so Bugenhagen decides to call for a general brainstorming session with the whole party.

I'm not saying that a giant space dragon shooting AKH MORN's like it's a killsat isn't it's own reward, and is infact a valuable tool when trying to kill body-hopping discorporeal souls as proven in FFXIV... but this probably would have been a great way to justify the Huge Materia hunt by having it play some greater role in the question of "what the fuck do we actually do about Sephiroth" then it just spitting out a Summon. Between the missable characters and the missable scenes, and the fact that we just spent hours on a main plot tangent that you're also able to fuck up on, it's a little deranged that SE worked this hard, for this much context sensitive content that's still hamstrung in it's very nature by nature of being technically optional. Imagine how much more you could do with all of it if Yuffie and especially Vincent were written as being inherently present, or the Huge Materia being more than just a glorified gachapon capsule?

God, the translation script is increasingly just… Breaking down to the point that even when the meaning of a particular exchange is clear, it's composed of sentences that don't connect to each other in any coherent way, like they were all translated independently of each other.

Don't worry! It gets worse!

Cait Sith, certified grief counselor.

I'd assume...I *hope*...that either Cait's operator paid her a personal call, or it was relayed by whatever Shinra agent is assuredly watching Emlyra and Marlene and didn't rely on a magical toy cat wearing a crown and cape to break the news. This actually is a good way to touch on two different things. I like Cait Sith, but for some reason all the work that could have went into a second pass on the script apparently went towards cranking up the cat's accent up by like a thousandfold and as a result he's starting to sound like that old Limmy sketch about the depressed plastererer.

Secondly, it ties into something I've been thinking about a lot, which is the relative paucity of breaks from outside the main character's PoV. Off the top of my head, the only major one I can think of is the events surrounding the Plate Drop in the Shinra Exec's office. Everything else is relayed to the party via oral story, over the phone, videotape, etc., so much so that It can't be anything other than a deliberate way to frame the narrative. It makes sense in the context of Cloud's delusion, since it'd spoil the twist, but it's also surprising that something like that particular scene would occur offscreen. The Remake actually does it quite different, with numerous cutaways up to and including scenes that weren't even alluded to in the original game. Perhaps since the mysteries are all spoiled 20-ish years on, the benefits of having such a locked down perspective aren't so present.[/QUOTE]
 
Between Shera's insane suicidal tendencies, Cid's house only having one "bed" in the form of the couch (meaning they probably don't live together), and Cid's immediate revulsion when Cloud calls Shera his wife, I'm almost inclined to believe that she's just a crazy person who breaks into Cid's house to take care of him against his will.

Well duh. She has to N-tuple check her safety measures.
 
WAIT FUCK THAT'S JUST ACE COMBAT CONTROLS

I see that you are a man of culture as well


So one of my favorite writers just posted a series of headcanons that with this update are no longer spoilers. Also they parallel some of the thoughts in this thread

"Esama" said:
  1. Gaia is a dwarf planet that's stupidly rich in iron, which gives it earth like gravity and makes constructions like Midgar, Junon and Gold Saucer cheap.
  2. Shinra scientists haven't discovered DNA yet and most of their medical science is successful via dumb luck of Jenova being highly adaptive and also the existence of literal magic. They probably haven't figured out atomic theory either.
  3. Cetra did some measure of terraforming on Gaia and Meteor is how they did it. They made the Black Materia for a reason and doubt it was because they wanted to destroy the Planet. I think it was to nudge the Planet's orbit to more desirable place. There's bunch of craters all over Gaia, including the bottom of the ocean, and I don't think they were all caused by the Calamity.
  4. The Summons (in their original non-playable cutscene form in FF7) aren't actually creatures from other worlds, they're memories. Each summon sequence is a event that happened on Gaia sometime in its past, that was then immortalised into Materia so strongly that it can affect physical world.
  5. Which means that there was once upon a time an actual living breathing orbital laser dragon capable of spaceflight and the fact that Cid is a dragoon suddenly makes so much sense.
 
Back
Top