Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Finished: Final Fantasy Tactics]



….

They called the ruined town of the ancients, empty of all its inhabitants

"Gone"

This fucking game I swear.
In the ongoing "this is an RPG campaign" interpretation, the DM actually did give a more reasonable fantasy-style name, but then Lenna's player asked what its name was, Galuf's player started jokingly calling it "Gohn, with an H", and that went on for another five minutes before the DM described a road sign (which the players then ignored).


Is… is that an actual expression? Do people say "wait one cotton-picking minute"? Please tell me that's not a thing.
"Cotton-picker" is a derogatory term originating from the antebellum American South, due to cotton picking being seen as extremely low work even by slave standards--hence, there arose the phrase "cotton-picking [insert slur of your choice]". The full expression of "one cotton-picking minute" appears to have been coined by Bugs Bunny back in the 50s (due to Bugs's habit of using somewhat hick-ish slang), which had the side effect of more or less decoupling it from its origins.

Needless to say, this opens some very strange questions about how things work in Galuf's homeland.
 
Last edited:
"Cotton-picker" as a derogatory term originating from the antebellum American South, due to cotton picking being seen as extremely low work even by slave standards--hence, there arose the phrase "cotton-picking [insert slur of your choice]". The full expression of "one cotton-picking minute" appears to have been coined by Bugs Bunny back in the 50s (due to Bugs's habit of using somewhat hick-ish slang), which had the side effect of more or less decoupling it from its origins.
He did that a lot; he also single-handedly turned "nimrod" from the name of a mighty hunter from the bible into a synonym for "moron"
 
Time to zip over to Istory…

Not to send you off in even more re-visits to the same town, but this screenshot totally reminded me that there's another bit of secret loot I'm pretty sure you're missing out on in this place.
It's in the screenshot and there's a hint in town to it, if you haven't already grabbed it and I just missed that.
They called the ruined town of the ancients, empty of all its inhabitants

"Gone"

This fucking game I swear.
Making me feel excessively silly for never noticing this before. And also ranking FFV up from "Best Final Fantasy" to "Besterest Final Fantasy".
We finally corner King Tycoon at the top of the ruins, where Lenna calls to her father - and Faris shocks everyone by saying:
Guess that's another nail in the coffin for my original hopes of "Omi doesn't find out about Lenna and Farris being related until late-game and we get 20 updates of them being shipped, while half the thread giggles in the background" :V
Wow, that was fast. We unlocked the black chocobo what, half an hour ago? Jeez.
I joked with the whole "get eaten by a Worm" thing, but yes, this part of the game continues the "let's rapid-fire vehicles at the player" trend. It's kind of funny really I'd forgotten just how many vehicles this game has in comparison to others, I'm so used to the idea of only having like... canoe, boat, airship from playing too many RPG Maker games.
This is kind of an odd moment for a "heroes reaffirm their resolve" beat. It also feels like one of these moments the game opens up and tells me I'm free to go anywhere, do sidequests and stuff, and the plot will be waiting for me to pick it up when I'm done. Which it is, kinda, but…

I feel like I've done all the available stuff so far? I don't think there's a city I haven't explored yet. I've definitely missed the odd hidden chest here and there, but like - I'm pretty sure the Pyramid is waiting for the plot to unlock it later, I haven't missed some entire optional dungeon or anything, right?
Well, there is in fact one town you've apparently missed entirely on the world map which became accessible once you got the Black Chocobo, though pretty sure the Airship can also land there. Decently interesting side content there too if you find it and check it out.
 
Damn. The way she says this, with the childish word and the hesitation, really makes me think she barely even remembers her father and her old life - that this is all a sudden, overwhelming rush from the past for her.

Unfortunately, King Tycoon(?) takes advantage of this to pull a supervillain trapdoor lever.


Oddly enough, he uses the "head lowered" sprite right after, suggesting he feels bad for what he just did.

I always take this as him looking down the hole; as you said, his head is lowered. As if staring down. That can be emotion, or of course it could just be practical.

Galuf is so incensed that he jumps into that big chasm at the bottom of the screen, disappear in what I can only presume is a feat of Spider-Man-crawling off the underside of the floor, and then emerges back out of a chasm in the top left to call everyone out.


Is… is that an actual expression? Do people say "wait one cotton-picking minute"? Please tell me that's not a thing.

Yes, it's an expression. Mostly one I expect to see in cartoons, really, from characters coded southern US.

The origins are probably disquieting given but I didn't think to think of it as remarkable. The wonders of normalization at work there, I suppose.
 
Lenna and Faris held hand in an emotional moment of family unity while their companions just stand there fucking dead, which is touching but also kind of inherently funny.
Bartz, rising a hand (and not the face because it's glued-by-impact to the floor: "No no, keep hugging. Don't mind us. Just farming rep with the Floor, here..."

Lightning starts raining down on the platform, blowing up entire chunks of it and forcing the party to run as fast as they could as the warp pad disintegrates behind them. They barely manage to make it out into the next room, where they pause to take a breather.
Interestingly, nine games later in FFXIV, we also happen to deal with a teleporting mishap inside an ancient Ronka construction...
 
It would be improper to call the Desert a "dungeon," as it is only one screen long. It is a pretty big screen, though, and it is a massive pain to navigate, because apparently the game decided conveyor belts were such a good idea, it couldn't just do it once:
Yeahhh. You get accustomed to the mechanisms in Queen Karnak's House of Pain, but this freaking desert I just walk in random directions until something good happens.
They called the ruined town of the ancients, empty of all its inhabitants

"Gone"

This fucking game I swear.


I love this game's dialogue so much.
These gems are both from the absolutely stellar GBA port, upon which pretty much every release since has been based. Some of the old wonkiness from the Super Famicom was fun (I like "Double Grip" for the Knight's Two-Handed skill), but it's such a fantastic localization. It really brings the wacky tone home.

Oddly enough, he uses the "head lowered" sprite right after, suggesting he feels bad for what he just did.
I always saw that as watching us fall. I like to give him my rendition of the cartoon ending tune.

I freaking love this part of the game. Seeing ancient supertech that actually feels ancient is so refreshing. It's glitchy and ragged, but what works still works. It's so much better than when they just say "oh yeah, the ancients built it, so it's better than anything we can ever do." Boring! Science marches on, and old tech degrades!
 
Yeah you'll want to actually explore the world map instead of just say you did in order to slack off (typical for perfidious Omicrons) because there's three neat optional cutscenes in the town you missed.
 
Oddly enough, he uses the "head lowered" sprite right after, suggesting he feels bad for what he just did.
Huh, when I saw the image, I rather assumed it meant he was looking down the pit after them.
Is… is that an actual expression? Do people say "wait one cotton-picking minute"? Please tell me that's not a thing.
Well, not really since the '40s. But it shows up in a few original Looney Tunes, which is probably what's being referenced by the translators, given the cartoony nature of some events.
 
Last edited:
It's a thing in like, classic looney toons. Incredibly outdated, but it was an actual expression people used.
Right up there with "Tarnation!" and "What in sam hell!"

Who's sam? Well, if google can be believed, Sam Hill was the owner of a mercantile store in Arizona that sold a lot of weird goods. Oxford Dictionary would say that's bullshit, and that the origin of the saying pre-1839 has been lost. That's a shrug from me, dawg.
 
Right up there with "Tarnation!" and "What in sam hell!"

Who's sam? Well, if google can be believed, Sam Hill was the owner of a mercantile store in Arizona that sold a lot of weird goods. Oxford Dictionary would say that's bullshit, and that the origin of the saying pre-1839 has been lost. That's a shrug from me, dawg.
Huh.

I kinda just assumed that Sam was a euphemism for Satan, similar to how in Danish "Søren" was used to make swears more kid friendly by removing the casual Satanism.
 
"Cotton-picker" as a derogatory term originating from the antebellum American South, due to cotton picking being seen as extremely low work even by slave standards--hence, there arose the phrase "cotton-picking [insert slur of your choice]". The full expression of "one cotton-picking minute" appears to have been coined by Bugs Bunny back in the 50s (due to Bugs's habit of using somewhat hick-ish slang), which had the side effect of more or less decoupling it from its origins.

Needless to say, this opens some very strange questions about how things work in Galuf's homeland.

Bugs missed that left turn at Albuquerque and spent a while in Galuf's homeland before returning home. He left behind slang and cartoon falling physics that is keeping the party alive.
 
Last edited:
Hello! If you've been following this thread so far, you're probably at least mildly interested in early Final Fantasy game. And if I had to guess, I would say there is a better than 50:50 chance that you are the kind of person who likes watching long-form video essays about media they like.
Unfortunately, I prefer text to video. Not to say I never watch video essay, just less motivated too. If you have long texts essays to recommend though, I'll gobble them up.
 
Unfortunately, I prefer text to video. Not to say I never watch video essay, just less motivated too. If you have long texts essays to recommend though, I'll gobble them up.
Sanguinia over at SomethingAwful is doing a mix of a screenshot let's play and a literary analysis for ff14. Not sure it's what you are looking for, but I find it a interesting read along with this LP.
 
Real talk though, this next part of the LP has been a truly broken experience, not in the mechanical sense but in the sense of my constant going back and forth between places and getting myself lost in places I already know and doing random bullshit, it's gonna be a mess to put in a readable form.
 
Last edited:
Real talk though, this next part of the LP has been a truly broken experience, not in the mechanical sense but in the sense of my constant going back and forth between places and getting myself lost in places I already know and doing random bullshit, it's gonna be a mess to put in a readable form.
The floating dungeon or other stuff? Cuz that dungeon is a legit maze.
 
Back
Top