Chapter 83: Revelations, Understandings, And Other Things That Should Not Be.
- Location
- Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Q1Y24
I woke up.
Which all in all was a good sign and a bad sign, all things considered, as it was only my current avatar that was awake. I was, however, able to confirm that my original body and the other two shadow-selves -slash- avatars were still 'connected' to me; I could feel them in their slumbering state in the corner of my mind. Which was a bit like your hand feeling your spleen's blood pressure at the back of its knuckles … and yes, it was every bit as weird and uncomfortable as that sounded.
As to where or even really when I was … I couldn't say. I had a distinct impression -- a certainty, really -- that those sorts of questions really weren't things that had answers wherever this was … or more accurately wherever this wasn't. Specifically -- I wasn't actually in any 'Verse. In any reality. I could feel that in my bones, as it were. More importantly; I also wasn't alone here.
It was hard to really make sense of anything in here. My senses indicated that I was in a ten meter by ten meter by ten meter white cubic room. They also indicated I was on a plane with no curvature and infinite regression into the distance. They also indicated that there was literally nothing around me -- not even space. It seemed better to just roll with what seemed most useful and least dangerous at any given time, rather than try to puzzle out which bits were 'lying' to me -- as if what I remembered before waking up was any indicator, none of my senses were giving me valid information.
For example; I was looking at Being X standing in front of me, with a fox-like grin on his face. Yet I knew for a fact that it wasn't, actually, Being X. How did I know that? The same way I knew that none of my sensory input was correct: the knowledge was just there.
I looked around briefly, as though gaining my sensory bearings. In truth, I was checking on my wards and the integrity of the interior of my soul. As far as I could tell, everything seemed intact. My mental defenses, the stack and neural implant data integrity -- it all checked out. But I was increasingly aware of the fact that I couldn't really be certain any of this was valid. If it were, then I shouldn't have been where I, well, wasn't right now.
And yet, here I was. And worse; here I remained -- I'd just tried and failed to successfully step back into reality, or out of this one, or push myself to another place … unlike when I'd been in the Isekai 'Verse, I wasn't being held in place. There was just no response from my innate talent. Which was … bad.
I shook my head ruefully. "Well, you've got me where you want me. This is your show -- do tell. I'm obviously a captive audience, here."
The thing wearing Being X's face chuckled. "Oh… do I have you? I wonder."
It raised a finger, tapping it against its chin contemplatively. "Yes, yes I suppose you might say that I do at that. But at the same time … I very clearly don't have you. You've escaped me yet again, little creature."
And… cue the confusion on my part. "I'm afraid I don't follow. Unless you've wiped my memory here, I'm somewhat confident we've never met."
The Being X became Truth. "Haven't we?"
I looked over Truth, and saw it didn't have my eye. "You're not him any more than you are Being X."
The false Truth -- a black outline with nothing contained within -- returned that same fox-like grin from before. "Well, that much is … accurate. And also misleading. And you're right; we have never fully met before. What I am, dear little thing, is nothing. The gaping maw that clambors ever-hungrily just beneath your dangling feet. That which stands between the is and isn't. The Boundary that limits narrative. The terminus of things without endings. And you, little morsel, were never supposed to survive that day. None of your kind ever are. You were supposed to just fall through the cracks and then like all the others I would just gobble you up."
It's smile gained more teeth. "But you didn't do that, at all, did you? No, you rude little thing -- you left me hungry and wracked with starvation, you did. And now … here you are, standing before me -- or at least a pale reflection of you is. But that's enough, isn't it, since you are you and I am I."
I … was this really … no. No, if it had intended to simply consume me there would've been nothing I could do to stop that. I wasn't so delusional as to think that the physical being I saw before me now was any more a valid object than the space I was currently standing in. If anything, it was just … another avatar. I wasn't talking to a being; I was talking to an existence.
I swallowed a little before speaking. "Well … okay. I suppose that's true at that -- but it's hardly like I planned for any of it to play out the way it did. I mean, it's not like I got myself stuck or unstuck that day."
The false Truth's smile flattened. "No. No you didn't. But what does that matter? It happened, none the less. And again you escaped me, the day you were summoned. And worse still -- you escaped me because you were mine. Lost. Deleted. Unreal. The traces of you pushed through … this -- the wake of existence passing through non-existence -- all you. A little ant, you are, weaving a web for the spider that would eat him. Busy little ant."
I closed my eyes to buy myself some time to think. If I followed the surface of the conversation, this was leading to someplace very bad for me. Yet… nothing I was witnessing, or hearing, should be taken at face value. Something else was going on here -- something I literally couldn't understand. "Right. Terribly rude of me, to keep on existing. And yet, there I am out there -- existing. Even now."
The False's eyes met with mine, as it squatted its childlike form to be equal in height to me. Dimensions that made no sense. Surprise, surprise. "Yes, very rude. Rude endings to impolite beginnings, at that. Oh but you are a very noisy little ant." It raised a finger up and waved its hand around itself. As it did, a gossamer series of threads manifested themselves all around me. "And oh how hungry the spider is. I am starving. I can feel my hunger every day, all because of you!"
I blinked… the False thing seemed to be deliriously happy about this state of affairs.
And then it clicked in my head. It said it could feel its hunger. It felt something at all… meaning it, a thing outside of any and all realities, had existence.
Which it almost certainly hadn't had, before that day twenty four years ago when I fell through the cracks. Not in any persisting manner anyhow. Only for brief intervals when the nothingness I was within consumed some other lost sap who fell through the cracks, or when realities fell into nothingness…
I risked it. "That's what you are, isn't it? You're … nothing. If there are Authors that create, and Auditors that oversee Authorship… then there is perhaps also a Censor -- something that unmakes. But … you aren't real. Or rather, you can't have the trait of existing. Except for those brief moments when you … do what you do. And that's what I am to you, isn't it? Some bit of indigestion that forced its way back out of your gullet. So long as I haven't … been eaten … you persist. And all these little threads of me passing into the space between spaces … they are the web that the spider lies in. A spider that is made of spidersilk. That's you."
The Censor nodded merrily. "Indeed! My hunger burns. And burns. And burns. And soon enough my little morsel, you'll be back tucked in your little existence … and I'll be here, watching. Waiting. Just one little slip, and I'll gobble you right up!"
It's words were cheerful, and so was its demeanor; but I 'just knew' again that this was the exact opposite of what it really wanted. "But there's one thing I don't really get. How did you mess with Being X? And more importantly, why? If the hunger is what matters, why risk not being hungry anymore?"
It rolled its eyes a little -- not dismissively, but more as in trying to find a way to express the obvious. "Try to follow, little morsel. Being X has no true body. Or, rather, his body 'doesn't exist'. Any avatar he creates… is a shadow of something that isn't real."
I thought for a moment. "And thus… is a shadow of you. So, what? You were just … saying hello?"
Nonbeing X jumped and clapped its hands merrily. "I get so lonely not being around, you see."
This was making my head hurt. "Okay… so … let me see if I understand this all. You tricked Being X's avatar into screwing with my stepping sideways so that we could have this little 'face-to-face'. Somehow, rather than just being consumed by … you … when I lost touch -- literally -- with reality, and 'fell between the cracks', I bounced back and kept a bit of your precise brand of non-existence with me. Or, rather, left a bit of myself in the non-existence between realities … and somehow did enough of this that I am now a literal extradimensional spiderweb connecting things together. And that infection of 'existence' into 'non-existence' means you are aware of the fact that there's something you haven't consumed … which in turn means you are aware. And more specifically, you are aware of me. And always have been."
I paused, rubbing my chin in thought. "Your nature is to … Censor what has been Written. That's what you are. But only that which has been Written exists, and you innately cannot have been Written. So I'm … what? Spilled ink that got into the binding between pages? You … you aren't even really you. Not any more than I, here, am me. But… The more I do, the more of me that remains here and the more of you that gets out… through me. Or, rather, the more of me out there is you."
I was rambling. Not quite ranting, but certainly vocalizing my thoughts. Meanwhile, the now suited like a faceless Man In Black non-thing just stood there, it's head tilting as though listening to a song that I certainly could not hear.
I continued, as my words began to feel more and more… right. "So… what. If I want to remain 'me', I'll have to… grow. The Red Sign certainly helps; I feed a portion of my soul to the void, and the weight of what remains behind is mine to keep. But… not just my soul. No -- the literal nothingness has been consuming me all along. I have to give up… no, that's not right; this isn't a negotiation, I'm not bartering here. The Censor deletes. Because that is what it is. But I'm not the Censor. I'm… influenced by it."
My eyes widened. "I revise. Fuck. All this time… right from the outset -- that's why I've survived. Because… I had the hubris to believe I could replace Authors' stories with something better. That is the influence."
I shivered with where my thoughts were leading me. "I… I'm almost completely gone. And that is why I'm nowhere right now. This is… you can't not consume me. You literally can't. But you also don't want to -- not entirely."
The Suit spoke, its words sepulchral and unaccustomed to speech. "Enlightenment dawns. Live a little, Mister ■̷̜̳̩̬͕͊͂̾̐̽̉̉͠͝■̴̧̧̛̣̹̱̩͍̍͋͐̽̈̈̑̕͜ͅ■̴̡̨̪͉͉̣̝̟̍̃̉͜͠■̵̗͂̌́͒̈■̴̝̭̙̬͚͉̐̔̑̽̆̊̄̚͝■̴̳̭̯̽̾. Be yourself for a while… or you'll lose more than just your humanity and your mortal name."
I … heard what The Suit just said, and also didn't. I hadn't always been Mark Andes… who was I before? It was… shit. The Censor just consumed my name.
I groaned. "Fuck me sideways. Who the hell am I?"
The Censor's eyes opened. All of them. All around me. "You are He Who Is Hidden By His Name. And You. Are. Mine."
I shuddered, and non-reality shuddered around me. A maw opened beneath me, filled with teeth made of razor-sharp obsidian. I fell … and was no more.
I gasped awake in my control tank. My avatars -- all three of them -- fragmented into nothingness. Was that a fucking dream? I struggled my way out of the control tank, exerting the fullness of all of the forms of strength available to me as I burst out. Purple, blue, and black flames surrounded me. I looked around myself, trying to confirm the time. It was … mere seconds after my initial departure from the Youjo Senki 'Verse. I'd been asleep for less than a dozen seconds.
I groaned. "What … in the fucking hell…" I looked around myself and sure enough, there was Smiley, ever-faithful Smiley, his CRT abuzz with static as he seemed entirely uncertain what to do with himself.
I needed to know. Was what had happened real -- as far as real went -- or not? "Smiley. Smiley … tell me … do you remember my real name? Not Mark Andes. The name I only told you?"
Smiley's face-emoji turned from static into a green smile face. "Oh certainly, Your Worship. Your name is … ■̷̜̳̩̬͕͊͂̾̐̽̉̉͠͝■̴̧̧̛̣̹̱̩͍̍͋͐̽̈̈̑̕͜ͅ■̴̡̨̪͉͉̣̝̟̍̃̉͜͠■̵̗͂̌́͒̈■̴̝̭̙̬͚͉̐̔̑̽̆̊̄̚͝■̴̳̭̯̽̾."
Every Host in the room -- Smiley included -- stumbled. A great Maw opened beneath Smiley's feet -- just in front of him. I dashed forward, trying to prevent gravity from doing what it was clearly about to… lashing out with my parapsionic and biotic abilities simultaneously. A great tongue… or tentacle… or simple bit of shadow lashed out, splitting into thirteen separate tendrils from a central core, and wrapped itself around my companion.
I dropped into "Battlemode" and activated the Shakarava to buy myself time to think. Whatever the hell saying my own birth-name had just done to him, I wasn't going to be able to save his body. My best bet at this point was to push a needlecast backup… it wouldn't save his body, but being digital meant that a digital Ascension would at least let him continue to serve in the physical. Assuming there was enough time for me to save him that much. Still, it allowed me to reprioritize.
I drove the hyperplanar tap within my soul to its maximum output, aiming the photon-ray cannon within at an aperture I made directly before my open palm, aiming at the root of the tendril-tongue. If I had the power, I could've perhaps aimed for the maw itself and cut the incursion out from the outset -- but I knew deep in my innermost self that the maw was … beyond such things, in a way that was outside of what I understood. Everything I had done from the ground up in building up my entire empire's eldritch protections were reinforcing this thing, not restricting it, in exactly the same way they reinforced me. This was a manifestation of The Censor, allowed here precisely because I existed here. It could not be undone until it had consumed what brought it forth. But… I could delay it.
I reinforced the photon-ray cannon with the full and more importantly generic banishment effect from my medallion's OFCUT suite, rather than drawing upon the Sign or my wards which incorporated the Mark for their otherwise superior effects. And I aimed at the trunk of the tongue-tendril, driving the photon-ray cannon emitter to overload strength levels -- I'd need every last erg I could get. Simultaneously, I triggered the command that would force a needlecast backup of Smiley's cortical stack and simultaneously ordered an immediate queue-up of a backup of Smiley's Pearl.
The beam struggled to so much as singe the tentacle for the first instant, but then it shuddered and in a flash of fiery cinders the tendril-tongue went up in noxious fumes. Immediately afterwards, another set of tendrils manifested from the maw… and the tongues also had eyes, all of which looked at me. The Censor was amused. It knew perfectly well what I was doing, and didn't even disapprove … but it was still The Censor, and it had been Invoked. It would have its pound of flesh, because that was what it was.
Again, I fired upon The Censor's … extension … into reality. With my other hand, I focused the Skrill Weapon and it's much older banishment effector chip onto the second tendril-tongue. It wouldn't be enough to destroy it… but the distraction proved enough. Smiley's backup completed, just in time for me to watch the Host's body consumed by nothingness.
I … was in a lot of trouble.
A/N: A little shorter than usual. Work-seeking stuff got in the way of writing today.
Also A/N: "No, Andes: there's more of gravy than of the grave about you!"
I woke up.
Which all in all was a good sign and a bad sign, all things considered, as it was only my current avatar that was awake. I was, however, able to confirm that my original body and the other two shadow-selves -slash- avatars were still 'connected' to me; I could feel them in their slumbering state in the corner of my mind. Which was a bit like your hand feeling your spleen's blood pressure at the back of its knuckles … and yes, it was every bit as weird and uncomfortable as that sounded.
As to where or even really when I was … I couldn't say. I had a distinct impression -- a certainty, really -- that those sorts of questions really weren't things that had answers wherever this was … or more accurately wherever this wasn't. Specifically -- I wasn't actually in any 'Verse. In any reality. I could feel that in my bones, as it were. More importantly; I also wasn't alone here.
It was hard to really make sense of anything in here. My senses indicated that I was in a ten meter by ten meter by ten meter white cubic room. They also indicated I was on a plane with no curvature and infinite regression into the distance. They also indicated that there was literally nothing around me -- not even space. It seemed better to just roll with what seemed most useful and least dangerous at any given time, rather than try to puzzle out which bits were 'lying' to me -- as if what I remembered before waking up was any indicator, none of my senses were giving me valid information.
For example; I was looking at Being X standing in front of me, with a fox-like grin on his face. Yet I knew for a fact that it wasn't, actually, Being X. How did I know that? The same way I knew that none of my sensory input was correct: the knowledge was just there.
I looked around briefly, as though gaining my sensory bearings. In truth, I was checking on my wards and the integrity of the interior of my soul. As far as I could tell, everything seemed intact. My mental defenses, the stack and neural implant data integrity -- it all checked out. But I was increasingly aware of the fact that I couldn't really be certain any of this was valid. If it were, then I shouldn't have been where I, well, wasn't right now.
And yet, here I was. And worse; here I remained -- I'd just tried and failed to successfully step back into reality, or out of this one, or push myself to another place … unlike when I'd been in the Isekai 'Verse, I wasn't being held in place. There was just no response from my innate talent. Which was … bad.
I shook my head ruefully. "Well, you've got me where you want me. This is your show -- do tell. I'm obviously a captive audience, here."
The thing wearing Being X's face chuckled. "Oh… do I have you? I wonder."
It raised a finger, tapping it against its chin contemplatively. "Yes, yes I suppose you might say that I do at that. But at the same time … I very clearly don't have you. You've escaped me yet again, little creature."
And… cue the confusion on my part. "I'm afraid I don't follow. Unless you've wiped my memory here, I'm somewhat confident we've never met."
The Being X became Truth. "Haven't we?"
I looked over Truth, and saw it didn't have my eye. "You're not him any more than you are Being X."
The false Truth -- a black outline with nothing contained within -- returned that same fox-like grin from before. "Well, that much is … accurate. And also misleading. And you're right; we have never fully met before. What I am, dear little thing, is nothing. The gaping maw that clambors ever-hungrily just beneath your dangling feet. That which stands between the is and isn't. The Boundary that limits narrative. The terminus of things without endings. And you, little morsel, were never supposed to survive that day. None of your kind ever are. You were supposed to just fall through the cracks and then like all the others I would just gobble you up."
It's smile gained more teeth. "But you didn't do that, at all, did you? No, you rude little thing -- you left me hungry and wracked with starvation, you did. And now … here you are, standing before me -- or at least a pale reflection of you is. But that's enough, isn't it, since you are you and I am I."
I … was this really … no. No, if it had intended to simply consume me there would've been nothing I could do to stop that. I wasn't so delusional as to think that the physical being I saw before me now was any more a valid object than the space I was currently standing in. If anything, it was just … another avatar. I wasn't talking to a being; I was talking to an existence.
I swallowed a little before speaking. "Well … okay. I suppose that's true at that -- but it's hardly like I planned for any of it to play out the way it did. I mean, it's not like I got myself stuck or unstuck that day."
The false Truth's smile flattened. "No. No you didn't. But what does that matter? It happened, none the less. And again you escaped me, the day you were summoned. And worse still -- you escaped me because you were mine. Lost. Deleted. Unreal. The traces of you pushed through … this -- the wake of existence passing through non-existence -- all you. A little ant, you are, weaving a web for the spider that would eat him. Busy little ant."
I closed my eyes to buy myself some time to think. If I followed the surface of the conversation, this was leading to someplace very bad for me. Yet… nothing I was witnessing, or hearing, should be taken at face value. Something else was going on here -- something I literally couldn't understand. "Right. Terribly rude of me, to keep on existing. And yet, there I am out there -- existing. Even now."
The False's eyes met with mine, as it squatted its childlike form to be equal in height to me. Dimensions that made no sense. Surprise, surprise. "Yes, very rude. Rude endings to impolite beginnings, at that. Oh but you are a very noisy little ant." It raised a finger up and waved its hand around itself. As it did, a gossamer series of threads manifested themselves all around me. "And oh how hungry the spider is. I am starving. I can feel my hunger every day, all because of you!"
I blinked… the False thing seemed to be deliriously happy about this state of affairs.
And then it clicked in my head. It said it could feel its hunger. It felt something at all… meaning it, a thing outside of any and all realities, had existence.
Which it almost certainly hadn't had, before that day twenty four years ago when I fell through the cracks. Not in any persisting manner anyhow. Only for brief intervals when the nothingness I was within consumed some other lost sap who fell through the cracks, or when realities fell into nothingness…
I risked it. "That's what you are, isn't it? You're … nothing. If there are Authors that create, and Auditors that oversee Authorship… then there is perhaps also a Censor -- something that unmakes. But … you aren't real. Or rather, you can't have the trait of existing. Except for those brief moments when you … do what you do. And that's what I am to you, isn't it? Some bit of indigestion that forced its way back out of your gullet. So long as I haven't … been eaten … you persist. And all these little threads of me passing into the space between spaces … they are the web that the spider lies in. A spider that is made of spidersilk. That's you."
The Censor nodded merrily. "Indeed! My hunger burns. And burns. And burns. And soon enough my little morsel, you'll be back tucked in your little existence … and I'll be here, watching. Waiting. Just one little slip, and I'll gobble you right up!"
It's words were cheerful, and so was its demeanor; but I 'just knew' again that this was the exact opposite of what it really wanted. "But there's one thing I don't really get. How did you mess with Being X? And more importantly, why? If the hunger is what matters, why risk not being hungry anymore?"
It rolled its eyes a little -- not dismissively, but more as in trying to find a way to express the obvious. "Try to follow, little morsel. Being X has no true body. Or, rather, his body 'doesn't exist'. Any avatar he creates… is a shadow of something that isn't real."
I thought for a moment. "And thus… is a shadow of you. So, what? You were just … saying hello?"
Nonbeing X jumped and clapped its hands merrily. "I get so lonely not being around, you see."
This was making my head hurt. "Okay… so … let me see if I understand this all. You tricked Being X's avatar into screwing with my stepping sideways so that we could have this little 'face-to-face'. Somehow, rather than just being consumed by … you … when I lost touch -- literally -- with reality, and 'fell between the cracks', I bounced back and kept a bit of your precise brand of non-existence with me. Or, rather, left a bit of myself in the non-existence between realities … and somehow did enough of this that I am now a literal extradimensional spiderweb connecting things together. And that infection of 'existence' into 'non-existence' means you are aware of the fact that there's something you haven't consumed … which in turn means you are aware. And more specifically, you are aware of me. And always have been."
I paused, rubbing my chin in thought. "Your nature is to … Censor what has been Written. That's what you are. But only that which has been Written exists, and you innately cannot have been Written. So I'm … what? Spilled ink that got into the binding between pages? You … you aren't even really you. Not any more than I, here, am me. But… The more I do, the more of me that remains here and the more of you that gets out… through me. Or, rather, the more of me out there is you."
I was rambling. Not quite ranting, but certainly vocalizing my thoughts. Meanwhile, the now suited like a faceless Man In Black non-thing just stood there, it's head tilting as though listening to a song that I certainly could not hear.
I continued, as my words began to feel more and more… right. "So… what. If I want to remain 'me', I'll have to… grow. The Red Sign certainly helps; I feed a portion of my soul to the void, and the weight of what remains behind is mine to keep. But… not just my soul. No -- the literal nothingness has been consuming me all along. I have to give up… no, that's not right; this isn't a negotiation, I'm not bartering here. The Censor deletes. Because that is what it is. But I'm not the Censor. I'm… influenced by it."
My eyes widened. "I revise. Fuck. All this time… right from the outset -- that's why I've survived. Because… I had the hubris to believe I could replace Authors' stories with something better. That is the influence."
I shivered with where my thoughts were leading me. "I… I'm almost completely gone. And that is why I'm nowhere right now. This is… you can't not consume me. You literally can't. But you also don't want to -- not entirely."
The Suit spoke, its words sepulchral and unaccustomed to speech. "Enlightenment dawns. Live a little, Mister ■̷̜̳̩̬͕͊͂̾̐̽̉̉͠͝■̴̧̧̛̣̹̱̩͍̍͋͐̽̈̈̑̕͜ͅ■̴̡̨̪͉͉̣̝̟̍̃̉͜͠■̵̗͂̌́͒̈■̴̝̭̙̬͚͉̐̔̑̽̆̊̄̚͝■̴̳̭̯̽̾. Be yourself for a while… or you'll lose more than just your humanity and your mortal name."
I … heard what The Suit just said, and also didn't. I hadn't always been Mark Andes… who was I before? It was… shit. The Censor just consumed my name.
I groaned. "Fuck me sideways. Who the hell am I?"
The Censor's eyes opened. All of them. All around me. "You are He Who Is Hidden By His Name. And You. Are. Mine."
I shuddered, and non-reality shuddered around me. A maw opened beneath me, filled with teeth made of razor-sharp obsidian. I fell … and was no more.
I gasped awake in my control tank. My avatars -- all three of them -- fragmented into nothingness. Was that a fucking dream? I struggled my way out of the control tank, exerting the fullness of all of the forms of strength available to me as I burst out. Purple, blue, and black flames surrounded me. I looked around myself, trying to confirm the time. It was … mere seconds after my initial departure from the Youjo Senki 'Verse. I'd been asleep for less than a dozen seconds.
I groaned. "What … in the fucking hell…" I looked around myself and sure enough, there was Smiley, ever-faithful Smiley, his CRT abuzz with static as he seemed entirely uncertain what to do with himself.
I needed to know. Was what had happened real -- as far as real went -- or not? "Smiley. Smiley … tell me … do you remember my real name? Not Mark Andes. The name I only told you?"
Smiley's face-emoji turned from static into a green smile face. "Oh certainly, Your Worship. Your name is … ■̷̜̳̩̬͕͊͂̾̐̽̉̉͠͝■̴̧̧̛̣̹̱̩͍̍͋͐̽̈̈̑̕͜ͅ■̴̡̨̪͉͉̣̝̟̍̃̉͜͠■̵̗͂̌́͒̈■̴̝̭̙̬͚͉̐̔̑̽̆̊̄̚͝■̴̳̭̯̽̾."
Every Host in the room -- Smiley included -- stumbled. A great Maw opened beneath Smiley's feet -- just in front of him. I dashed forward, trying to prevent gravity from doing what it was clearly about to… lashing out with my parapsionic and biotic abilities simultaneously. A great tongue… or tentacle… or simple bit of shadow lashed out, splitting into thirteen separate tendrils from a central core, and wrapped itself around my companion.
I dropped into "Battlemode" and activated the Shakarava to buy myself time to think. Whatever the hell saying my own birth-name had just done to him, I wasn't going to be able to save his body. My best bet at this point was to push a needlecast backup… it wouldn't save his body, but being digital meant that a digital Ascension would at least let him continue to serve in the physical. Assuming there was enough time for me to save him that much. Still, it allowed me to reprioritize.
I drove the hyperplanar tap within my soul to its maximum output, aiming the photon-ray cannon within at an aperture I made directly before my open palm, aiming at the root of the tendril-tongue. If I had the power, I could've perhaps aimed for the maw itself and cut the incursion out from the outset -- but I knew deep in my innermost self that the maw was … beyond such things, in a way that was outside of what I understood. Everything I had done from the ground up in building up my entire empire's eldritch protections were reinforcing this thing, not restricting it, in exactly the same way they reinforced me. This was a manifestation of The Censor, allowed here precisely because I existed here. It could not be undone until it had consumed what brought it forth. But… I could delay it.
I reinforced the photon-ray cannon with the full and more importantly generic banishment effect from my medallion's OFCUT suite, rather than drawing upon the Sign or my wards which incorporated the Mark for their otherwise superior effects. And I aimed at the trunk of the tongue-tendril, driving the photon-ray cannon emitter to overload strength levels -- I'd need every last erg I could get. Simultaneously, I triggered the command that would force a needlecast backup of Smiley's cortical stack and simultaneously ordered an immediate queue-up of a backup of Smiley's Pearl.
The beam struggled to so much as singe the tentacle for the first instant, but then it shuddered and in a flash of fiery cinders the tendril-tongue went up in noxious fumes. Immediately afterwards, another set of tendrils manifested from the maw… and the tongues also had eyes, all of which looked at me. The Censor was amused. It knew perfectly well what I was doing, and didn't even disapprove … but it was still The Censor, and it had been Invoked. It would have its pound of flesh, because that was what it was.
Again, I fired upon The Censor's … extension … into reality. With my other hand, I focused the Skrill Weapon and it's much older banishment effector chip onto the second tendril-tongue. It wouldn't be enough to destroy it… but the distraction proved enough. Smiley's backup completed, just in time for me to watch the Host's body consumed by nothingness.
I … was in a lot of trouble.
A/N: A little shorter than usual. Work-seeking stuff got in the way of writing today.
Also A/N: "No, Andes: there's more of gravy than of the grave about you!"
