Knocking on Heaven's Door [MtG/Multicross/SI]
- Thread starter shadenight123
- Start date
- Crossover
Chapter Forty (Schwarzesmarken)
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter Forty (Schwarzesmarken)
The ruins of an abandoned village ran red with the blood of the BETA by the time the last of the creatures were torn to shreds. Slivers danced in the arctic-like waters of the nearby river, and as TSFs approached at a low altitude the towering Slivers that stood vigilant over the birth of a new Skep, I watched impassively from the top of the stone construction as the pilots probably took videos of the scene, as well as the military aid relief camp set up near it.
What I called Angelic Slivers stood near the wounded, their bodies emitting both heat and healing magic, melting the snow and casting a pleasant temperature on the wounded near them. They held on to a humanoid form, with tentacles that neatly folded in the shape of wings, or expanded to fully expel White Mana from their orifices to close wounds and restore missing limbs.
The tents were all white with a red cross upon them, and as a flag fluttered to the wind I watched impassively as the artillery took position in the far off distance. Even though I had made a big show to deal with the BETA, the people of Eastern Germany didn't trust me not to suddenly turn on them and eat them raw.
The wounded soldiers were also sedated, because I didn't want to have to explain to a bunch of traumatized alien-fighting soldiers that no, the Slivers weren't baby-eating monsters in turn. Well, I would have to explain that, but it could wait for a while.
I dropped down from the ceiling of the Skep as the snowstorm that had been lapping at the borders of my medical relief camp began to dissipate, the generated heat melting the snow as more and more Slivers left the crevices of the Skep to burrow into the ground, pushing their bodies forth to expand the underground network of tunnels. A military jeep with the emblems of the NVA, the national people's army, drove near while flanked by a full squadron of TSFs, the rest of the forces holding their positions within striking distance.
I placed my hands in my jacket's pockets as I watched the man on the passenger seat descend slowly, but with great wariness. As he drew near, I took in his stern lineaments and his quintessential German appearance of blond hair and unsettling dark eyes, a large nose with a mustache below it, his beard well-kept and groomed.
"Major Holzer Hannibal, of the German Democratic Republic!" he saluted. "We thank you for your aid!"
"Superior Hive Administrative and Defensive Entity, S.H.A.D.E," I saluted in turn, "We of the Sliver Collective have come, so have no fear citizen of Earth, we shall purge the enemy and bring forth glorious hugs to your people!"
Inwardly, I howled in laughter at the Major's expression actually slacked off in what could only be described as surprise. I inclined my head to the side. "Are hugs not your preferred mean to intend friendship?" I asked next, scratching my chin, "But it's what I was told," I said while trying to keep the most serious of faces. In the end, I drew near with slow and steady steps. "Are hugs an acceptable mean of intending friendship?" I asked as I came to a halt an arm's length away from the Major.
"A handshake," the Major said, "A handshake is a better—"
I grabbed my right hand and gently detached it with a soft pop using my left, before starting to shake it slowly in front of the Major's eyes.
"I do not understand," I said quite calmly. "How does shaking a hand signify friendship?"
I already had tears in the metaphysical corners of the inside of my brain. The benefits of having full control over one's whole genetic make-up was that one could paralyze his own facial muscles to stick to a serious face, even as the insides died a bit by the second out of sheer laughter.
"Not like that," the Major said, turning to look at his driver and bodyguard. He extended his right hand towards his driver, and the man understood and promptly shook the major's hand. "Like this. This is a handshake."
"Ah!" I nodded, popping the hand back in and extending it in turn. "Handshake it is then!" and with that said, I shook the Major's hand, his driver's, and then looked up to the nearby TSF. "Handshake?" I asked with the most innocent of voices as I morphed my right hand to increase in size until it was the same size as that of the robotic fighter, much to the consternation of the pilot in question who perhaps had to use all of the steel of his nerves not to just start firing.
"We will proceed to recover the wounded," Major Hannibal said, and I smiled and nodded at him even as the pilot of the TSF awkwardly shook my hand.
"They are not wounded, only asleep," I replied. "We already healed them. We did not wish to increase the casualties of your collective, but understandably my fellow Slivers are not the most human in appearances. I did not wish harm to befall anyone, so at your leisure, I shall wake your men up." I morphed my right hand back to normal human size, and with a single hand gesture, the Angelic Slivers all bowed as one entity and dispersed away, flying off to return to their main task of nurturing the young within the Skep.
The first soldiers stumbled out of the tents looking refreshed as if they had just slept at ease for the first time since countless years. Their bodies were fit as if they had enjoyed a full night of rest, and there was a small smile on their faces, the after-effects of an euphoric sensation of their bodies telling their brains that for once, they had nothing to grumble about.
Large trucks carried the soldiers away, and as the last of them did so, I watched the Major's face harden ever so slightly.
"We would like to extend an invitation to Berlin, our capital, to—"
"The Hive wishes to speak with all," I replied with a smile. "Please, set a meeting with all representatives of mankind at your earliest convention. In the meantime, we shall continue to purge the enemy. When all are gathered, they may come here. We will guarantee their safety." I opened my arms and hugged the burly man gently. "We are friends," I said as I let go of the hug. "Let that never be doubted."
I then furrowed my brows. "We are also bulletproof, TSFs proof, artillery proof, air bombing proof, and anything-proof, please relate to your superiors that any attempt at damaging us will be met with furious laughter and public ridicule for the generations to come in the rest of the universe," I smiled. "We, S.H.A.D.E, bid you a fair and happy day!"
I patted his shoulders and then waved the man and his driver goodbye as they both left. The moment they did, I sighed and took a deep breath.
The men in charge of the artillery trucks in the far off distance were actually surprised to find myself appearing right in front of them with a large tray filled with mugs of hot chocolate.
"Salutations friendly humans!" I said with a bright smile, bringing the tray forward. "I have been told that chocolate is a tasty treat for your species! I bring it hot!"
Needless to say, the gawking and the guffawing made my day more than a thousand worlds burning in the flames of purification from the sins of Chaos. The soldiers didn't want to accept the hot chocolate, even though more than one mouth watered at the thought. I sighed, pouted, and then decided to leave it on the ground. "Would anyone like a hug?" I said next, "As a show of friendship and trust?"
Nobody wanted a hug.
Truly, party-poopers the lot of them.
The ruins of an abandoned village ran red with the blood of the BETA by the time the last of the creatures were torn to shreds. Slivers danced in the arctic-like waters of the nearby river, and as TSFs approached at a low altitude the towering Slivers that stood vigilant over the birth of a new Skep, I watched impassively from the top of the stone construction as the pilots probably took videos of the scene, as well as the military aid relief camp set up near it.
What I called Angelic Slivers stood near the wounded, their bodies emitting both heat and healing magic, melting the snow and casting a pleasant temperature on the wounded near them. They held on to a humanoid form, with tentacles that neatly folded in the shape of wings, or expanded to fully expel White Mana from their orifices to close wounds and restore missing limbs.
The tents were all white with a red cross upon them, and as a flag fluttered to the wind I watched impassively as the artillery took position in the far off distance. Even though I had made a big show to deal with the BETA, the people of Eastern Germany didn't trust me not to suddenly turn on them and eat them raw.
The wounded soldiers were also sedated, because I didn't want to have to explain to a bunch of traumatized alien-fighting soldiers that no, the Slivers weren't baby-eating monsters in turn. Well, I would have to explain that, but it could wait for a while.
I dropped down from the ceiling of the Skep as the snowstorm that had been lapping at the borders of my medical relief camp began to dissipate, the generated heat melting the snow as more and more Slivers left the crevices of the Skep to burrow into the ground, pushing their bodies forth to expand the underground network of tunnels. A military jeep with the emblems of the NVA, the national people's army, drove near while flanked by a full squadron of TSFs, the rest of the forces holding their positions within striking distance.
I placed my hands in my jacket's pockets as I watched the man on the passenger seat descend slowly, but with great wariness. As he drew near, I took in his stern lineaments and his quintessential German appearance of blond hair and unsettling dark eyes, a large nose with a mustache below it, his beard well-kept and groomed.
"Major Holzer Hannibal, of the German Democratic Republic!" he saluted. "We thank you for your aid!"
"Superior Hive Administrative and Defensive Entity, S.H.A.D.E," I saluted in turn, "We of the Sliver Collective have come, so have no fear citizen of Earth, we shall purge the enemy and bring forth glorious hugs to your people!"
Inwardly, I howled in laughter at the Major's expression actually slacked off in what could only be described as surprise. I inclined my head to the side. "Are hugs not your preferred mean to intend friendship?" I asked next, scratching my chin, "But it's what I was told," I said while trying to keep the most serious of faces. In the end, I drew near with slow and steady steps. "Are hugs an acceptable mean of intending friendship?" I asked as I came to a halt an arm's length away from the Major.
"A handshake," the Major said, "A handshake is a better—"
I grabbed my right hand and gently detached it with a soft pop using my left, before starting to shake it slowly in front of the Major's eyes.
"I do not understand," I said quite calmly. "How does shaking a hand signify friendship?"
I already had tears in the metaphysical corners of the inside of my brain. The benefits of having full control over one's whole genetic make-up was that one could paralyze his own facial muscles to stick to a serious face, even as the insides died a bit by the second out of sheer laughter.
"Not like that," the Major said, turning to look at his driver and bodyguard. He extended his right hand towards his driver, and the man understood and promptly shook the major's hand. "Like this. This is a handshake."
"Ah!" I nodded, popping the hand back in and extending it in turn. "Handshake it is then!" and with that said, I shook the Major's hand, his driver's, and then looked up to the nearby TSF. "Handshake?" I asked with the most innocent of voices as I morphed my right hand to increase in size until it was the same size as that of the robotic fighter, much to the consternation of the pilot in question who perhaps had to use all of the steel of his nerves not to just start firing.
"We will proceed to recover the wounded," Major Hannibal said, and I smiled and nodded at him even as the pilot of the TSF awkwardly shook my hand.
"They are not wounded, only asleep," I replied. "We already healed them. We did not wish to increase the casualties of your collective, but understandably my fellow Slivers are not the most human in appearances. I did not wish harm to befall anyone, so at your leisure, I shall wake your men up." I morphed my right hand back to normal human size, and with a single hand gesture, the Angelic Slivers all bowed as one entity and dispersed away, flying off to return to their main task of nurturing the young within the Skep.
The first soldiers stumbled out of the tents looking refreshed as if they had just slept at ease for the first time since countless years. Their bodies were fit as if they had enjoyed a full night of rest, and there was a small smile on their faces, the after-effects of an euphoric sensation of their bodies telling their brains that for once, they had nothing to grumble about.
Large trucks carried the soldiers away, and as the last of them did so, I watched the Major's face harden ever so slightly.
"We would like to extend an invitation to Berlin, our capital, to—"
"The Hive wishes to speak with all," I replied with a smile. "Please, set a meeting with all representatives of mankind at your earliest convention. In the meantime, we shall continue to purge the enemy. When all are gathered, they may come here. We will guarantee their safety." I opened my arms and hugged the burly man gently. "We are friends," I said as I let go of the hug. "Let that never be doubted."
I then furrowed my brows. "We are also bulletproof, TSFs proof, artillery proof, air bombing proof, and anything-proof, please relate to your superiors that any attempt at damaging us will be met with furious laughter and public ridicule for the generations to come in the rest of the universe," I smiled. "We, S.H.A.D.E, bid you a fair and happy day!"
I patted his shoulders and then waved the man and his driver goodbye as they both left. The moment they did, I sighed and took a deep breath.
The men in charge of the artillery trucks in the far off distance were actually surprised to find myself appearing right in front of them with a large tray filled with mugs of hot chocolate.
"Salutations friendly humans!" I said with a bright smile, bringing the tray forward. "I have been told that chocolate is a tasty treat for your species! I bring it hot!"
Needless to say, the gawking and the guffawing made my day more than a thousand worlds burning in the flames of purification from the sins of Chaos. The soldiers didn't want to accept the hot chocolate, even though more than one mouth watered at the thought. I sighed, pouted, and then decided to leave it on the ground. "Would anyone like a hug?" I said next, "As a show of friendship and trust?"
Nobody wanted a hug.
Truly, party-poopers the lot of them.
- Location
- My house
- Location
- Elsewhere
What could possibly be frightening about Human-Form Slivers with Wing-Tentacles and Glowing Orifices?
Clever.
If you threaten the Political superiors with dead soldiers, they might try anyway.
Threaten them with public ridicule and they won't dare try.
Welp. Those men will never see the light of day again.
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
Truly, there is only one possible rating for this chapter
StellarMonarch
Myrmidon
- Location
- Québec
Alien diplomacy, conducted with dad jokes.
Continued trolling with the Hyper Friendly but stupidly powerful Aliens act is also optimal for maximum kek lols. Moar hugs.
EDIT: Thanks.
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- Location
- Poland
Yup. It's straight to interrogation and then an operating table for them.
Trusty_Chester
That One Guy
- Location
- Texas
Troll Level: 'Alien' Shade
- Location
- Dodging chaos dragons in Limbo
Normal humans unfortunately do not have the self paralyzation capabilities of Slivers, so we must suffer sprayed cereal, choking huffs and ruined breakfasts if we read such glorious trolling. Thanks for an awesome story!
troyamonga
Caffeine Dependent Hero
- Location
- United States
Man, I kinda miss Fuuka and Rito. Their optimism and youth (or relative youth in the case of Fuuka) presented a good foil for Shadewalker. Without them we're kinda wallowing in edge. Don't get me wrong, Solo!Shade is entertaining and intriguing (mainly because most of what shade writes is pretty good) but I kinda miss the dynamic that was going on in the early chapters.
Cosmic Dream
dreaming of utopia
Huh. Well, it could be worse. The position of omniversal tyrant could be filled by someone with less savory ideas on what to do with that. And trolling is a rather tame hobby compared to some.
troyamonga
Caffeine Dependent Hero
- Location
- United States
Even if I became an oldwalker, Id prolly just stick around my homeworld and attempt to make it a better place.
Other planes would be for trolling. Speaking of home planes, what's Shadewalker's native Earth like these days?
Other planes would be for trolling. Speaking of home planes, what's Shadewalker's native Earth like these days?
- Location
- Mountains and rivers
Ask Kyubey and co. how his entropy-defying plan is working out.
Alphaleph
The Firstiest of First
No, not really, not without going into God Modo SI category. Shade's brand of Tyranny has the advantage that it doesn't steps on all the toes of the big name Walkers. Anything worse would inevitably end up with a massive FFA with all the Planeswalkers that leads into the Mending at the very least or an Unholy Alliance against the wanna-be Tyrant.
Morphic Tide
Crazy Brainstormer, Munchkin and Wannabe Min-Maxer
- Location
- MI, USA
You seem to assume that Shade'Walker can't gank any oldwalker in canon. He does have a plane of highly evolved Slivers that have the biological bullshit of many universes, after all.
Alphaleph
The Firstiest of First
I said all the toes.
One? Sure, he already proved that he at least capable of going up against Urza (details missing still).
All of them? Unlikely. Not to mention that some of them has a lot less restraint in just bombing everything to the Blind Eternities.
And as I said:
4rt1ll3ry
Transhuman Cyborg in progress
So its been a thousand years and your homeworld is now a utopia. What will you do with the rest of eternity?
shadowace2400
Planeswalker Extraordinaire
- Location
- Texas
Do it again with a different version in a different way? Maybe?
- Location
- Serbia
Maybe after several thousand years have passed if you are felling nostalgic. Creating utopias gets boring very quickly. Why not build a society similar to the Imperium of Man where you (Yes, YOU!) are the venerable God Emperor of Mankind? With a planet sized golden Imperial Palace. And fanatically loyal Custodes who are all hot women. There's nothing quite like having people worship you.
If not the Imperium of Man, you could give being an Evil Overlord trying to conquer a plane a shot. Limit yourself so the heroes trying to stop you think they have a chance and when they finally reach you after trying so very hard for so very long, show them just how much you were holding back. You could then dump them in another plane (for bonus points have it be New Phyrexia) and tell them that if they survive whatever awaits them there for a certain number of years, you will leave their world alone.
Have them compete in interplanar tournaments you organize where you bring interesting characters from various planes and have them compete in various activities. From fighting to hunting to chess to empire building. With awesome rewards of course.
You can even create your own crossovers! Create your own Ocean's Eleven and try to rob some of the most secure locations in the multiverse. Take Lelouch from Code Geass, turn him into a pony and give him the task of trying to conquer Equesteria. Maybe he'll become the best unicorn wizard ever along the way? Ship people from different settings. Wouldn't Light Yagami from Death Note and Sailor Moon make a wonderful couple? Give Viserys Targaryen nano augmentations from Deus Ex. See what he does with them. You could have companions like the Doctor does. Show off a bit. Why not visit various planes and read their books? Watch their movies? A man needs inspiration.
You could do so many interesting things if you were an Oldwalker. The Blind Eternities are infinite and you will never run out of things to do. Don't spend your time endlessly creating utopias. That's boring and pointless. Have fun.
If you do want to make Earth a utopia, traveling to the past and doing it as Emperor of the Romans should be done at least once. Roma Invicta!!!
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- Location
- Mountains and rivers
Presumably, with one of these:
Sounds too much like work, honestly, just like the rest of the list.
Heck, why does everyone want to rule the world? Fuck that noise, it requires delegation and still more administrative actions on your part.
Man, so many people seek joy in such complex things in life. You're now an immortal acausal ultipotent entity with no obligations.
Get a good PC, play a nice new game; go back in the past to see the first life on Earth; observe geological changes; master mnemonics (why not?); see famous people in person; laze around on the bed; eat nice food; learn a new language (preferably trying out multiple methods); make your own language; make a font with ALL THE CHARACTERS; travel around the ever-changing planet.
There is so much stuff you can do with just a little imagination yet people always seem to think of going to another Plane first. Why? Your immediate surroundings—an infinite number of parallel worlds. Why bother with the long journeys and poking beehives?
shadowace2400
Planeswalker Extraordinaire
- Location
- Texas
It may be because the enticing nature of MAGIC... but yeah those all are really good ideas.