King by His Own Hand: A Conan the Barbarian ISOT [Conan/ASOIAF]

[Arimai]

The Sword is Atlantean Steel, it makes a shing noise in all the books when drawn and in the comics, as well as the movies. It's precedent.

As to dueling, no they aren't punished. It says so in the World of Ice and Fire, and in the Tabletop RPG sourcebook.

The first sword of Braavos, according to the Books is the head of the Sealord's Bodyguard, which I have taken to it's logical extension as the head of his personal guard.

As to not getting his title right, only people who were very close to the stage heard Conan say that he was Conan of Cimmeria, the rest would have to go by what Marvolio's friends were calling him in their attempt to hype up their man, Conan the Outlander. Given that I expressly stated that the Sealord got his information from the rumor of the duel and then placed surveillance on him after the fact, and even then said surveillance was not close enough to overhear what was actually said between Conan and Daario at the Inn, it's understandable that he calls him by what the rest of the City is calling him.

As to the red priests, not every red priest has magic powers if Thoros can be believed. In fact Thoros flat out says he believed the rituals were pointless until he suddenly revived Beric Dondarrion by accident. That implies that only the higher ups could read fires and such. Do you think that a high ranking priest is going to be preaching the midday sermon, when they probably have sermons every day at this time? He'd get an acolyte to do it for him.

As to the Grammatical Errors, I have put out a call for betas, but people can read this story just fine as it is. It seems t be just you and Aramai that are all pissed off about it. If you don't want to Beta and are just complaining for the sake of complaining, don't read the story. Honestly if it bugs you that much I would hope you would be mature enough to ignore the story and move on. . .

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First. You have yet to feel my anger. I pointed out several mistakes in order to help you. I don't get angry on the internet unless you've done something monumentally foolish. Such as insulting my beloved Corps. Or start preaching political, religious or otherwise insane ideologies.

Second let me be the third person to point it out a third time. It is very hard to pick out whom is speaking when you post a conversation in one giant paragraph. Every person's spoken dialogue must be printed in its own paragraph.

Third the fact that you act all prissy when something is pointed out impacts negatively on a prospective Beta reader's desire to help.

Fourth I spoke out to help you improve your writing because I see potential in this story. If you don't want constructive criticism post this on www.Fanfiction.net People won't bother you there. On the other hand you won't receive helpful reviews either.

Fifth. This goes to everyone here. Please retain a calm and civil demeanour.

 

[KnightofTempest]

First. You have yet to feel my anger. I pointed out several mistakes in order to help you. I don't get angry on the internet unless you've done something monumentally foolish. Such as insulting my beloved Corps. Or start preaching political, religious or otherwise insane ideologies.

Second let me be the third person to point it out a third time. It is very hard to pick out whom is speaking when you post a conversation in one giant paragraph. Every person's spoken dialogue must be printed in its own paragraph.

Third the fact that you act all prissy when something is pointed out impacts negatively on a prospective Beta reader's desire to help.

Fourth I spoke out to help you improve your writing because I see potential in this story. If you don't want constructive criticism post this on www.Fanfiction.net People won't bother you there. On the other hand you won't receive helpful reviews either.

Fifth. This goes to everyone here. Please retain a calm and civil demeanour.

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It's not even the Grammatical stuff I care about, I would be more than willing to work with a Beta reader, it's the fact that he wants me to change around narrative elements to suit his desire of what the story should be. If he wants that he should write one himself. . .

 

[Arimai]

It's not even the Grammatical stuff I care about, I would be more than willing to work with a Beta reader, it's the fact that he wants me to change around narrative elements to suit his desire of what the story should be. If he wants that he should write one himself. . .

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Aah I missed that. I agree with your opinion. Although the singing sword is the magic of the blade itself in that it does not loose its edge and can disrupt magic. The sound was explained as the magic awakening to combat. Although that may have been retconned into just a special effect of the blade. I do not know. I have not read Conan since the Eighty's.

 

[FractiousDay]

You may advise the author, and give him ideas.
You may not demand anything of him.

You are demanding he change the "shwing". He doesn't want to. End of story.
YOu want to argue? Go find the debate forums.

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I'm not demanding anything I'm pointing out that certain things are illogical, I'm not saying 'you must change it now' I'm just using historical examples to try and assist the author,it's not my fault if they take criticism badly.

Although the singing sword is the magic of the blade itself in that it does not loose its edge and can disrupt magic. The sound was explained as the magic awakening to combat

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Wouldn't have been nice to know that earlier. Not blaming you, but there's a big difference with it 'preparing for battle' and jut making a noise

 

[KnightofTempest]

Aah I missed that. I agree with your opinion. Although the singing sword is the magic of the blade itself in that it does not loose its edge and can disrupt magic. The sound was explained as the magic awakening to combat. Although that may have been retconned into just a special effect of the blade. I do not know. I have not read Conan since the eightys.

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It isn't just the sword either, he wanted me to "Fix" ASOIAF canon so that the various frivolous duels the Bravos engage in on a constant basis were illegal and that the City Guard would try to impose repurcussions, which would derail a plot involving an upcoming villain.

He also wanted me to have the Red Priests Notice Conan when it is vitally plot important to future arcs that their visions are being blocked by a cosmic force that wants Conan to cause as much chaos as possible.

 

[FractiousDay]

It isn't just the sword either, he wanted me to "Fix" ASOIAF canon so that the various frivolous duels the Bravos engage in on a constant basis were illegal and that the City Guard would try to impose repurcussions, which would derail a plot involving an upcoming villain.

He also wanted me to have the Red Priests Notice Conan when it is vitally plot important to future arcs that their visions are being blocked by a cosmic force that wants Conan to cause as much chaos as possible.

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I'm not asking for it to be 'fixed', nor like Ned surviving or whatever, i've no intention of turning it into a fix fic, I'm pointing out that a lack of regulation (at high level duels) is unrealistic. And you could have said their visions are being blocked, that's fine , that explains it, previously however you hadn't provided an explanation

 

[KnightofTempest]

I'm not asking for it to be 'fixed', nor like Ned surviving or whatever, i've no intention of turning it into a fix fic, I'm pointing out that a lack of regulation (at high level duels) is unrealistic. And you could have said their visions are being blocked, that's fine , that explains it, previously however you hadn't provided an explanation

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I provided said explanation previously towards the bottom of the last page in fact, you just didn't apparently care to read it.

As to realism, I am not concerned with realism when it comes down to a matter of realism vs what makes narrative sense for the story. I come down firmly on the side of the debate that states that realism can be abandoned for a better story.

 

[remulian]

Speak the MST3K Mantra and remember story run on and sometimes even made of narrativium from the first to the last.

 

[Capntal]

I'm glad to see this crossover. Do not be discouraged by the criticism. The only thing of note that I noticed was that I sometimes was confused as to who was speaking. Feel free to write as you see fit, I've enjoyed it so far. It is your story.

Be careful not to give away plot points during arguments, you may alter your story later on. Everything you post will be remembered. If you disagree with someone's criticism, ignore it. Sometimes answering or explaining can give away things you didn't mean to.

Your work can speak for itself, people will overlook mistakes more often than they will argue. You have no responsibility to answer for every perceived error.

 

[KnightofTempest]

Update will come at some point this weekend. I had a date tonight and have a Dresden Files Tabletop Tomorrow, so it will probably be Sunday.

 

[Gremlin Jack]

Random capitalizations aside, this is pretty good. You've introduced Conan smoothly to the setting, and have also accurately marked the canon timeline. As I recall correctly, the Second Sons did not get involved with canon until after Dany became the Breaker of Chains, which means we've got almost a year to go. Are you going to spend that year establishing how Conan rises to the top of the Second Sons?

 

[TheUnicorn]

As to realism, I am not concerned with realism when it comes down to a matter of realism vs what makes narrative sense for the story. I come down firmly on the side of the debate that states that realism can be abandoned for a better story.

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That works to an extent. However when you push it too far lack of realism makes for a bad story. Personally I don't think you're at that point yet, however given that duels to the death over nonsense are apparently accepted in Braavos that will have consequences you need to take into account. There are of course many different ways you could deal with this, off the top of my head:
1)Normally it takes something MUCH more serious to trigger a duel to the death, the idiot Conan killed was unusual in that regard.
2)Braavos culture has very weak family ties and strong respect for the results of duels so people seeking revenge for their relative getting killed in a duel is fairly rare.
3)Braavos consists of many factions and periodically combat breaks out among them, often triggered by the results of a duel.
etc...

I hope you have an at least somewhat plausabile explanation for how Braavossi society works with those duels.

 

[Cheap Orange Knofe]

That works to an extent. However when you push it too far lack of realism makes for a bad story. Personally I don't think you're at that point yet, however given that duels to the death over nonsense are apparently accepted in Braavos that will have consequences you need to take into account. There are of course many different ways you could deal with this, off the top of my head:
1)Normally it takes something MUCH more serious to trigger a duel to the death, the idiot Conan killed was unusual in that regard.
2)Braavos culture has very weak family ties and strong respect for the results of duels so people seeking revenge for their relative getting killed in a duel is fairly rare.
3)Braavos consists of many factions and periodically combat breaks out among them, often triggered by the results of a duel.
etc...

I hope you have an at least somewhat plausabile explanation for how Braavossi society works with those duels.

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Even to outsiders?
Edit: apparently It's a reallly long date.