King by His Own Hand: A Conan the Barbarian ISOT [Conan/ASOIAF]

There have been two hints as to when in the timeline this is. Syrio Forel has recently left the Position of First Sword of Braavos, and there was a mention in chapter 2 about a large Dothraki Khalasar in Pentos.

To spell it out for people, we are at the start of A Game of Thrones, about the time when Dany marries Drogo in Pentos.
I'm enjoying the story so far, your poor grammar doesn't detract too much but it is annoying.

The only think I can't figure out is why on earth you feel the need after each chapter to make an additional post to tell people you've posted the chapter. Do you not understand how the watched thread function works, or is it some ridiculous attempt to keep the thread on the front page?
 
I mean are the very minor Grammatical errors detracting THAT much from people's enjoyment of the story that they have to point them all out?
It's not so much that they are horrible errors so much as they are a multitude of tiny ones that should be incredibly easy for you to correct. For instance, capitalization is not something that should be applied randomly.
 
I mean are the very minor Grammatical errors detracting THAT much from people's enjoyment of the story that they have to point them all out?
May I make a few suggestions? This seems rather interesting

First and foremost your paragraph structure really needs some work. The most glaring problem is the size for several of them being absolutely gigantic in size, and a lot of that has to do with your dialogue structure. You don't skip down to another paragraph when someone else starts speaking, but instead just keep it going on, and on. However even without the dialogue, you need to separate paragraphs more often. This isn't an essay after all.

This for instance:

The Palace was as opulent as it was functional. Wide walls painted purple and gold with Stucco were topped with Crossbowmen, Spearmen, and Ballistae and artfully encircled domed keeps with golden and purple domes and thick walls. A Wide Courtyard filled with benches and plants, was framed by galleries where crossbowmen could fire down upon attackers. Conan was never much for decoration, but he could appreciate the function. He soon found himself at his destination, however and had no more time to take in the sights. Knocking three times before entering the small office. He Found a man, lithe and small, with short cropped black hair and a neatly trimmed goatee. "Greetings Conan the Outlander. I am Qarro Volentin, first sword of Braavos. I hear you wish to join the Sealord's Guard?" He smiled at Conan with a wry smile. Conan nodded and said, "Aye, I do." The First sword nodded and said, "And you wish for your most recent companion, Daario Naharis to Join as well?" The First Sword's Smile widened, and Conan likened the expression to a Shark. "You know of my meeting with Daario?" Asked Conan. "The Second I received word of your stunning Victory over Marvolio the Vermillion I had a man watching you. I know you spoke with Naharis at your table and that you two clasped hands before parting. This does not concern me, we would be glad to have you both. . ." Replied the First Sword before trailing off. "However the Very same victory that brought you to my attention has made it politically impossible to hire you or your erstwhile partner. Marvolio the Vermillion's Uncle, Caggo Marvolio is a very wealthy and well respected Spice Merchant. One who controls a not insignificant portion of the Sealord's Support Base. If we were to hire you and Naharis, he would undobtedly withdraw said support." Said the First Sword frowning. "The Sealord is an Old Man, and cannot afford a schism with his current health. It would kill him, most likely after plunging Braavos into a period of political instability. That is something I cannot Allow."

Should look like this:

The Palace was as opulent as it was functional. Wide walls painted purple and gold with Stucco were topped with Crossbowmen, Spearmen, and Ballistae and artfully encircled domed keeps with golden and purple domes and thick walls. A Wide Courtyard filled with benches and plants, was framed by galleries where crossbowmen could fire down upon attackers. Conan was never much for decoration, but he could appreciate the function. He soon found himself at his destination, however and had no more time to take in the sights.

Knocking three times before entering the small office. He Found a man, lithe and small, with short cropped black hair and a neatly trimmed goatee. "Greetings Conan the Outlander. I am Qarro Volentin, first sword of Braavos. I hear you wish to join the Sealord's Guard?" He smiled at Conan with a wry smile. Conan nodded and said, "Aye, I do." The First sword nodded and said, "And you wish for your most recent companion, Daario Naharis to Join as well?" The First Sword's Smile widened, and Conan likened the expression to a Shark.

"You know of my meeting with Daario?" Asked Conan.

"The Second I received word of your stunning Victory over Marvolio the Vermillion I had a man watching you. I know you spoke with Naharis at your table and that you two clasped hands before parting. This does not concern me, we would be glad to have you both. . ." Replied the First Sword before trailing off. "However the Very same victory that brought you to my attention has made it politically impossible to hire you or your erstwhile partner. Marvolio the Vermillion's Uncle, Caggo Marvolio is a very wealthy and well respected Spice Merchant. One who controls a not insignificant portion of the Sealord's Support Base. If we were to hire you and Naharis, he would undobtedly withdraw said support." Said the First Sword frowning. "The Sealord is an Old Man, and cannot afford a schism with his current health. It would kill him, most likely after plunging Braavos into a period of political instability. That is something I cannot Allow."

Beyond that there's the grammar which always comes up with writing in general, and to help mediate the problem I suggest you ask for a Beta to look over your posts.

I look forward to reading more of your story, being a fledgling conan fan myself. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, and I'm sorry for my butting heads, however seem to have good potential as a writer here, and I would like to see you improve.
 
I'm enjoying the story so far, your poor grammar doesn't detract too much but it is annoying.

The only think I can't figure out is why on earth you feel the need after each chapter to make an additional post to tell people you've posted the chapter. Do you not understand how the watched thread function works, or is it some ridiculous attempt to keep the thread on the front page?

It's an artifact left over from the Forum I was on before this, which didn't have a watched thread function.
 
Please use this forum's functions. Bumping is not considered polite in xenforo. Also, expect a lot of people to give story threads over 3-5 pages a pass of there are no threadmarks or index.
 
Please use this forum's functions. Bumping is not considered polite in xenforo. Also, expect a lot of people to give story threads over 3-5 pages a pass of there are no threadmarks or index.

I don't know how to do either of those. . .

Also, as I said earlier it is an artifact left over from a previous forum, not something I do consciously
 
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Judging by the title Conan will ascend to Kinghood sometime throughout his journey.

Can't wait!
 
Yes I get that I capitalize words that shouldn't be. But I'm writing what amounts to a fanfic on the internet, not an English Paper. I have seen far worse in terms of Grammar and Spelling with many more views than I have. I think it'll be ok. . .
On your posts there will be a button on the top called threadmarks. If you are the thread creator. I can't remember if it is still on top of the post or in edit now

Technically this is Sufficient Velocity. Also I don't see this kind of thing when people like Hiver post fics in what amounts to broken English. . .
Because Hiver and I had an arrangement. I Pm him the corrections and my suggestions. Hiver then did what he wanted with that
 
@KnightofTempest : You see the line on the posts say in blue script Report +Quote Reply? Thread creator also sees Threadmark. Click on that, it's pretty easy to figure out from that.

On grammar: There's something interesting I've observed. If the person is relatively good at grammar the very few mistakes will get pointed out. If the person is hopelessly bad at grammar people will leave them alone for the most part as a lost case.

I mean. KnightofTempest is right. I don't see people complaining about Hiver or Cherico about their grammar.

Granted I beta for Cherico nowadays so he shouldn't be unreadable anymore, but still...
 
Well if it's going to be an issue I suppose I could get a Beta. . .Would anyone be willing to do so?
 
This is excellent. You've done a great job capturing the feel of Conan; I look forward to his adventures.

As for the grammar nazis, ignore them. If they want professionally edited, they can go buy from a bookstore. This is well within acceptable limits.
 
I suppose I'll just continue on till I can find a Beta. No sense holding up the story to please the Grammar Nazi's
 
It's Braavos, nobody said the Bravos were clever or organized, just that their dueling draws large crowds and isn't punished by the Authories

That's not how it works. If it was as you say there'd be massive civil unrest because of families fighting each other. Recall the Prince telling the Montagues and Capulets off for fighting each other 'three civil brawls' and so on

As to the Shing, it's a sword from a Fantasy Setting made of mystical metal, I took some artistic license

So his sword has the magical power of making a Shing noise without a metal scabbard? That's a lazy and stupid excuse. Of course there's one amusing situation it would lead to:

Stannis: My sword is on fire, what can yours do?
Conan: It makes a Shing noise without there being metal in the scabbard.

Recall that there's actually a scene where Maester Aemon examines Lightbringer rationally and notes the problems with magic swords

A sensible plan, and one that may get us a good rate for our blades. Let us do so then, and see how much gold our steel will earn

Daario doesnt talk like this, go read his chapters

e heard the priest at the Red Temple, Flanked by Braziers of Burning Coals extolling the virtues of his God, Rhollor and how all other gods were false

Again with the random capitalisation. It's really immersion breaking

for he had first hand experience that the Gods were very real, thinking back to the time he had faced an Immortal Eldritch God that had previously been trapped in an Urn, as well as his time facing the Serpent Priests of Father Set.

So Conan, who must reak of ambient magic, has just sauntered past the temple without anyone remarking upon him? Even the Red Priests who are known to be able to see things like this in their fires?

Also you spelt the gods name wrong, it's got an apostrathe somewhere

e First Sword's Office is down the courtyard and to the left, next to the Barracks

What exactly is the First Sword? I always assumed he was a retainer and champion of the Sealord. You seem to have him as some sort of guard captain. Which is fine, I think you should define his position though. What does Conan think he is?

Greetings Conan the Outlander

The First Sword has apparently had Conan under surveillance but doesn't even get his title right? Sure....

Marvolio the Vermillion's Uncle, Caggo Marvolio is a very wealthy and well respected Spice Merchant. One who controls a not insignificant portion of the Sealord's Support Base. If we were to hire you and Naharis,

This is precisely what I meant, there's no way duels would be so ubiquitous to require an arena,but so ublisenced to allow for feuds

t likely after plunging Braavos into a period of political instability.

Yea well that's what you get when you've got so much dueling

But I'm writing what amounts to a fanfic on the internet, not an English Paper.

And? If you can't be bothered to at least write in a legible manner then don't post

Also I don't see this kind of thing when people like Hiver post fics in what amounts to broken English

That's rather unfair, Hiver has got sigificantly better over the years, compare his old stuff to his new stuff and you'll see. Also he has a pool of beta readers to pick up on mistakes.
 
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Chapter 4: Signing the Ledger
"I have signed their book. The old way, in blood. I am now a Second Son." -Tyrion Lannister on Joining the Second Sons

The Sun was high in the sky when Conan arrived back at the Outcast Inn. He was in a foul mood after learning that not only would he not be hired by the Sealord's Guard, but that he had made a powerful enemy in the City of Braavos with the very same duel that proved his worth as a Warrior to these strange new people. He would have to either Join a Company soon or move lodgings in order to avoid assassins in the night, for everything he had learned from the idle gossip of sailors and merchants he had picked up on the way back proved that this Caggo Marvolio was the type of man to kill by proxy with a dagger in the night. He was already planning his next move when Daario Naharis arrived with a cheshire smile on his face, gold tooth prominently displayed in a catlike grin.

"Why so Glum? Did your meeting with the First Sword not go well?" Asked Daario. "Nay, according to the First Sword the man I killed was nephew to a rich merchant and it would be politically ill-advised to hire me. You however, look as if you had just lain with the Goddes Ishtar herself. I take it the Second Sons were more willing?" Asked Conan. "Fortunately the duel that closes one door opens another." Grinned Daario, "And opened it very wide indeed. It seems that Tybero Istarion, paymaster of the Second Sons made a small fortune wagering on the outcome of your duel with Marvolio. When I told him that I would be bringing the Newly Accomplished Conan the Outlander to his company he offered us twice the going rate for veterans, plus plunder. If we live long enough, we stand to make a great deal of money from this." Daario grinned. To that Conan gave a smile and said, "Good news indeed. Shall we head on over to the Inn of the Green Eel and accept the Paymaster's most generous offer?" Daario laughed and said, "Perhaps a drink first? To celebrate our good fortune." calling over the barmaid the two ordered a pair of ales and raised their tankards high. "To the Second Sons, Long may they pay us!" Grinned Conan, and with that they drank, draining their tankards in one long pull before setting off to the Inn of the Green Eel.

Walking out into the Noonday Sun, Conan and Daario walked along the Canals to the other Side of the Ragman's Harbor, passing by several stands selling cockles and mussels fresh from the canals, or Eels from the Lagoon. At one point the passed by a Brothel called the Cattery, where several courtesans stood in the windows calling down enticements to passers by to come in for a bit of sport. Daario altered his course as they passed, veering towards the Cattery, but Conan merely laughed and grabbed his erstwhile companion around the shoulder saying, "Business first, we can always come back after we are gainfully employed." Daario looked put out for a moment only to immediately snap back to form, "True, I for one cannot wait to spend the Paymasters gold in such a fine establishment." He said with a cocksure grin.

At last they arrived at their destination. The Inn of the Green Eel was a large building made of green brick and wood painted Green, a crudely drawn eel adorning the sign above the door. As the Pair Entered, they noticed a number of armored men sitting at tables, some in boiled leather like what Daario Wore, some in Mail, others in Plate, all sellswords drinking away their pay. Conan grinned, it seems mercenary life here was not unlike that back home. Daario led the way to a table at the back of the common room, where a Plump, Balding man sat amidst ledgers and accounts, Ink staining his fingers. The man was busily scratching down a series of numbers in one inkspotted ledger before Daario coughed, drawing his attention. The man looked up from his accounts and grinned, saying in a mild tone, "Daario Naharis, back again? And you, I would recognize you anywhere, Conan of Cimmeria. You made me quite a large pile of coin last night. I take it you both have come to accept my offer?" Asked the Man.

"We have indeed." Said Conan grinning ferally. "Right, well, as I told your associate I am willing to pay twice the going rate for veterans plus plunder. Anyone who could kill such an accomplished water dancer without suffering a scratch deserves that much at least. I would offer more, but we are currently a bit strained for jobs. Frankly the Commander's Reputation is so terrible we have only been getting caravan and guard jobs lately. I swear if that Huge Khalasar wasn't in Pentos we would have already had to head east to Slaver's Bay. Fortunately Braavos hired every company in the City once Khal Drogo crossed into Pentoshi Territory. I think the Sealord might be afraid that the Pentoshi are trying to Get Drogo on their side for an attack against Braavos. Whatever the actual cause may be it was a stroke of luck we were even hired. Commander Mero tends to scare his employers as much as the enemy sometimes." Replied the Man, before digging around in his pile of ledgers to produce a thick, leather-bound Tome, weathered with Age. Opening the volume to a page but halfway finished, he then produced a bottle of red ink and a quill.

"In the Old Days, we would have recruits sign in blood, but blood makes for poor ink. So we use this red dye for symbolism. Sign your name and the date and make sure to leave room blank. It is our tradition to fill in your battle record with the company as your time with us progresses." Daario signed up first, signing his name with a flourish. Conan took the quill second and was more deliberate, his writing sharp and angular. The ledger was handed over to the Paymaster for inspection whose brow furrowed at Conan's Script. "What kind of calender is that? Year of the Wolf, Motnh of the Bear? Where did you come up wit this stuff?" He asked. "It is the Calender in use in my Homeland. . .far from here." Replied Conan Solemnly. "Right, never mind. Welcome to the Second Sons. I would tell you to go look through the company steel for equipment, but it seems you've got your own. Our Armorer is Hammer if you have anything that needs fixing, he'll look after it. You can find him out back by the stables in the portable smithy. You two will be barracked together, in Grodan's Old Room, he won't need it anymore since he got killed by a Bravo while drunk last week. Check the Duty Roster in the Morning for your assignments." Replied the Paymaster.

And with that, Conan and Daario were officially members of the Second Sons. . .
 
That's not how it works. If it was as you say there'd be massive civil unrest because of families fighting each other. Recall the Prince telling the Montagues and Capulets off for fighting each other 'three civil brawls' and so on



So his sword has the magical power of making a Shing noise without a metal scabbard? That's a lazy and stupid excuse. Of course there's one amusing situation it would lead to:

Stannis: My sword is on fire, what can yours do?
Conan: It makes a Shing noise without there being metal in the scabbard.

Recall that there's actually a scene where Maester Aemon examines Lightbringer rationally and notes the problems with magic swords



Daario doesnt talk like this, go read his chapters



Again with the random capitalisation. It's really immersion breaking



So Conan, who must reak of ambient magic, has just sauntered past the temple without anyone remarking upon him? Even the Red Priests who are known to be able to see things like this in their fires?

Also you spelt the gods name wrong, it's got an apostrathe somewhere



What exactly is the First Sword? I always assumed he was a retainer and champion of the Sealord. You seem to have him as some sort of guard captain. Which is fine, I think you should define his position though. What does Conan think he is?



The First Sword has apparently had Conan under surveillance but doesn't even get his title right? Sure....



This is precisely what I meant, there's no way duels would be so ubiquitous to require an arena,but so ublisenced to allow for feuds



Yea well that's what you get when you've got so much dueling



And? If you can't be bothered to at least write in a legible manner then don't post



That's rather unfair, Hiver has got sigificantly better over the years, compare his old stuff to his new stuff and you'll see. Also he has a pool of beta readers to pick up on mistakes.

The Sword is Atlantean Steel, it makes a shing noise in all the books when drawn and in the comics, as well as the movies. It's precedent.

As to dueling, no they aren't punished. It says so in the World of Ice and Fire, and in the Tabletop RPG sourcebook.

The first sword of Braavos, according to the Books is the head of the Sealord's Bodyguard, which I have taken to it's logical extension as the head of his personal guard.

As to not getting his title right, only people who were very close to the stage heard Conan say that he was Conan of Cimmeria, the rest would have to go by what Marvolio's friends were calling him in their attempt to hype up their man, Conan the Outlander. Given that I expressly stated that the Sealord got his information from the rumor of the duel and then placed surveillance on him after the fact, and even then said surveillance was not close enough to overhear what was actually said between Conan and Daario at the Inn, it's understandable that he calls him by what the rest of the City is calling him.

As to the red priests, not every red priest has magic powers if Thoros can be believed. In fact Thoros flat out says he believed the rituals were pointless until he suddenly revived Beric Dondarrion by accident. That implies that only the higher ups could read fires and such. Do you think that a high ranking priest is going to be preaching the midday sermon, when they probably have sermons every day at this time? He'd get an acolyte to do it for him.

As to the Grammatical Errors, I have put out a call for betas, but people can read this story just fine as it is. It seems t be just you and Aramai that are all pissed off about it. If you don't want to Beta and are just complaining for the sake of complaining, don't read the story. Honestly if it bugs you that much I would hope you would be mature enough to ignore the story and move on. . .
 
s to dueling, no they aren't punished. It says so in the World of Ice and Fire, and in the Tabletop RPG sourcebook.

Then change the canon to be more sensible. Take the initiative, Planetos isn't actually that well thought out, you're allowed to change canon if it doesn't make sense. Perhaps the minor thugs wandering about the city dont get charged with anything, but if there's two families fighting thats a political issue, the Sealord could get them on disturbing the peace or something

The Sword is Atlantean Steel, it makes a shing noise in all the books when drawn and in the comics, as well as the movies. It's precedent.

It makes a Shing in those because the audience dont know any better and expect it not to make a Shing, ASOIAF is more realistic and accurate than pulp comics

As to the red priests, not every red priest has magic powers if Thoros can be believed. In fact Thoros flat out says he believed the rituals were pointless until he suddenly revived Beric Dondarrion by accident. That implies that only the higher ups could read fires and such. Do you think that a high ranking priest is going to be preaching the midday sermon, when they probably have sermons every day at this time? He'd get an acolyte to do it for him.

There's at least one seer red priest in Braavos, it's one of the largest cities in the world and a trade capital. Furthermore, given that the priests can see the future, the senior ones will have seen Conan arrive already, and would have agents in the city. Fine, the high priests wouldn't be preaching the sermon just on the street, but they'd swiftly hear of a random foreigner and be able to follow that up.

As to the Grammatical Errors, I have put out a call for betas, but people can read this story just fine as it is. It seems t be just you and Aramai that are all pissed off about it. If you don't want to Beta and are just complaining for the sake of complaining, don't read the story. Honestly if it bugs you that much I would hope you would be mature enough to ignore the story and move on.

This is a public forum, as soon as you post something to it the post can be read by people and criticised by people if those people don't like it. Yes they can read it fine, it's legible and so on, but the errors detract from the enjoyment of the story.
 
Then change the canon to be more sensible. Take the initiative, Planetos isn't actually that well thought out, you're allowed to change canon if it doesn't make sense. Perhaps the minor thugs wandering about the city dont get charged with anything, but if there's two families fighting thats a political issue, the Sealord could get them on disturbing the peace or something



It makes a Shing in those because the audience dont know any better and expect it not to make a Shing, ASOIAF is more realistic and accurate than pulp comics



There's at least one seer red priest in Braavos, it's one of the largest cities in the world and a trade capital. Furthermore, given that the priests can see the future, the senior ones will have seen Conan arrive already, and would have agents in the city. Fine, the high priests wouldn't be preaching the sermon just on the street, but they'd swiftly hear of a random foreigner and be able to follow that up.



This is a public forum, as soon as you post something to it the post can be read by people and criticised by people if those people don't like it. Yes they can read it fine, it's legible and so on, but the errors detract from the enjoyment of the story.

I'm not going to change canon because one person doesn't like it. Like I said, if you don't like the story, I would hope you would be mature enough to ignore it and move on.

As to the Shing, It's Traditional, I'm not changing it. ASOIAF isn't any more realistic than pulp comics, it has Dragons and Eldritch Ice Zombies FFS as well as a fucked up sense of scale and clearly unrealistic weather patterns. I think a little thing like a sound effect is small potatoes in comparison.

As to the Priests Seeing the Future, that's deliberately vague in canon. They definitely see SOMETHING in the flames, but oftentimes it is metaphorical and prone to misinterpretation, hence why Melisandre didn't predict Jon getting stabbed to death. This of course is all ignoring potential plot elements that I have planned regarding the Red Priests in the overall story and why they aren't showing up to interfere. They won't be making a major appearance beyond background info for awhile.

As to the errors detracting from the story, you are one of two people who think so and the only one not to offer constructive criticism or help.
 
'm not going to change canon because one person doesn't like it. Like I said, if you don't like the story, I would hope you would be mature enough to ignore it and move on.

It's not a big change, I'm not demanding you rewrite the whole story I'm asking that you put in maybe two sentences at most to assist in plotting and flow, all that needs to be done is have a guard try and stop the braavo's friends getting on the platform and have the First Sword mention that duels like that shouldn't happen usually. I'm not asking for Westeros to become a wonderful democracy or for Robert to be a woman or some massive change like that which would require lots of work

As to the Shing, It's Traditional, I'm not changing it. ASOIAF isn't any more realistic than pulp comics, it has Dragons and Eldritch Ice Zombies FFS as well as a fucked up sense of scale and clearly unrealistic weather patterns. I think a little thing like a sound effect is small potatoes in comparison.

Problem is that ASOIAF is entirely different from Conan comics. It's like comparing the Dark Knight trilogy with the old 50s Batman. Conan is as the narration states a tale of 'high adventure', comparably ASOIAF is a deconstruction of the fantasy and the sword and sorcery genre. ASOIAF is far more realistic than Conan, I'm not saying it's perfect, I'm just pointing out that there are clear elements of deconstruction in the genre. Conan's magic Shinging sword breaks the imersion, given things like Aemon clearly pointing out the problems in such a thing.

As to the Priests Seeing the Future, that's deliberately vague in canon. They definitely see SOMETHING in the flames, but oftentimes it is metaphorical and prone to misinterpretation, hence why Melisandre didn't predict Jon getting stabbed to death. This of course is all ignoring potential plot elements that I have planned regarding the Red Priests in the overall story and why they aren't showing up to interfere. They won't be making a major appearance beyond background info for awhile.

Fine,it's still only on the 4th chapter or whatever, and maybe the Red Priest in charge of looking at fires blinked, I'll wait and see how the storylike progresses

As to the errors detracting from the story, you are one of two people who think so and the only one not to offer constructive criticism or help.

Given that I have provided advice in three fairly long posts, as well as assisting with plot points, I don't think you can say I've not given constructive criticism or help. Note that I've only commented on the story, in much the same manner as others have, I'm hardly unique and I've been very polite about it. I'm sure I'm not the only person who is bothered by the errors, however I'm probably more bothered by them than others, bothered enough to actually post about it. All my points are legitimate and argued in a logical manner, nor have I ever actually expressed my opinion on the story itself.I've never said 'I don't like it'
 
It's not a big change, I'm not demanding you rewrite the whole story I'm asking that you put in maybe two sentences at most to assist in plotting and flow, all that needs to be done is have a guard try and stop the braavo's friends getting on the platform and have the First Sword mention that duels like that shouldn't happen usually. I'm not asking for Westeros to become a wonderful democracy or for Robert to be a woman or some massive change like that which would require lots of work



Problem is that ASOIAF is entirely different from Conan comics. It's like comparing the Dark Knight trilogy with the old 50s Batman. Conan is as the narration states a tale of 'high adventure', comparably ASOIAF is a deconstruction of the fantasy and the sword and sorcery genre. ASOIAF is far more realistic than Conan, I'm not saying it's perfect, I'm just pointing out that there are clear elements of deconstruction in the genre. Conan's magic Shinging sword breaks the imersion, given things like Aemon clearly pointing out the problems in such a thing.



Fine,it's still only on the 4th chapter or whatever, and maybe the Red Priest in charge of looking at fires blinked, I'll wait and see how the storylike progresses



Given that I have provided advice in three fairly long posts, as well as assisting with plot points, I don't think you can say I've not given constructive criticism or help. Note that I've only commented on the story, in much the same manner as others have, I'm hardly unique and I've been very polite about it. I'm sure I'm not the only person who is bothered by the errors, however I'm probably more bothered by them than others, bothered enough to actually post about it. All my points are legitimate and argued in a logical manner, nor have I ever actually expressed my opinion on the story itself.I've never said 'I don't like it'

You are asking me to change canon to make more sense when that is not what this story is about. I remind you that Bravos consistently challenge each other and in fact anyone wearing a sword to the death over trivialities such as who the most beautiful courtesan in the city is, as seen in the Sam Chapters of a Feast For Crows, and that there is stated to be little to no repurcussions to such acts, hence why they are so prevalent. I'm not going to change actual canon because you think it makes more sense this way. If you want something like that, go read a fix-fic. This isn't one.

You are the only one bothered by trivialities like sound effects. Honestly at this point I'm not going to change it because of how ridiculous you are being about such a tiny thing. If I change something so minor as to barely be worth mentioning because one person bitched enough about it, that sets a precedent that could end up in me changing entire plotlines because one person bitched about it. It's not changing.

Furthermore you are thinking that this is going to remain a deconstruction. It most emphatically is not. I have interjected a pulp fantasy hero into a low fantasy setting. Shit is going to get fucked up because that's the nature of the crossover.

As to the Red Priests, there is plot involved there that is a different take on them than usual based on my own headcanon. Suffice to say there is cosmic interference happening at the moment that is aiming to ensure that Conan Causes the most confusion he can. The Red Priests won't spot him until it becomes to late. . .

As to your help, telling me to change things to the way you want them and then complaining when I don't is not helping. Your points are hardly legitimate as they contradict established canon for the franchises involved in the crossover. Like I said, this is not a fix-fic, I am not in the business of rewriting canon for ASOIAF or Conan to make more sense. The focus of this fic is on the narrative, not the setting, and certainly not fixing the setting to be more logical.
 
@KnightofTempest, ignore FractiousDay. He's probably just trolling you by now if he's not offering anything constructive at all. If he wants to continue his little trolling/arguments, put him on ignore, or ask a mod to kick him out of the thread somehow.
 
@KnightofTempest, ignore FractiousDay. He's probably just trolling you by now if he's not offering anything constructive at all. If he wants to continue his little trolling/arguments, put him on ignore, or ask a mod to kick him out of the thread somehow.

How am I trolling? I'm logically arguing points in a reasonable manner, using evidence from the source material, I'm not slinging personal attacks about either
 
How am I trolling? I'm logically arguing points in a reasonable manner, using evidence from the source material, I'm not slinging personal attacks about either

You may advise the author, and give him ideas.
You may not demand anything of him.

You are demanding he change the "shwing". He doesn't want to. End of story.
YOu want to argue? Go find the debate forums.
 
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You may advise the author, and give him ideas.
You may not demand anything of him.

You are demanding he change the "shwing". He doesn't want to. End of story.
YOu want to argue? Go find the debate forums.

This. This is exactly what I'm talking about. By continuing to insist on this, you are trolling by this point.
 
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