You smirk at your friend. You make a show of tossing your hands up in the air dismissively, before exclaiming, "IZ ALL GOOOOOD."
Your response, instead of raucous laughter, is your vision suddenly blacking out for a second, before being filled with a smoke-like grey. You feel a floating sensation, and briefly panic before you realize what happened.
Oh hell, you're unconcious again.
"It's Calvin's fault. If that asshole would wait to ask us our preference in women during a decent hour of daylight, we wouldn't be here."
"Depends on how you define here. Or we, for that matter. Didn't I fall asleep, anyway?"
You groan. If this isn't hell, then hell literally cannot exist. You're currently within the recesses of your mind, talking to split personalities,
And one of them looks like Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. No points for guessing it's Steve.
Greg looks a bit like...Marcellus Wallace, if you catch the reference. Poor guy probably thinks he looks 'Bishe' or whatever.
"Hey douchenozzle, you gonna say something?"
What do you want, Steve?
"What are you going to say to Cal-Pal?"
Even if Greg's got his sights a bit misaligned, he's got the right idea. We should try and see if we can't find a nice senior girl. Let's face it, once the cat gets out of the bag about our little headspace-timeshare, she's gonna need all the maturity in the world to deal with it.
"Although I'm not liking the disparaging Shizune comments, that seems like a good idea."
"Until you realize they're leaving next year. No point in getting attached to a bitch that'll up and leave us in a year. I'm all for 'experience', but cycling though girls worked pretty well before, and the younger the hotter."
That makes you very angry, and Steve knows that. Don't you, you fucking asshole?
"Woah, wait, what?"
"Our host is being a bitch about me getting us laid Freshman year."
SCREW. YOU. You know damn well that you had to dump-
"Woah, hold on, what the duck is this?"
"Before your time, kid."
Just as you were revving up to grill into that fuckbucket again, the grey haze began to clear. It seems as though you were waking up.
"Or dying."
"Emo."
"Duck you too."
"It's all right, you can swear inside our head, your mum probably isn't going to hear it. She's too busy getting FUCKED, by ME!"
Steve roared in laughter, as you began bristling under your rage. "You'd better watch yourself, asshole. It's only six and I've had about enough of you for the day."
"Pfft, you take me on? You haven't even had your meds yet, 'Master', what happens when you lose and cry yourself though another Nightmare?"
He is fucking dead. "Greg. Take over, and take our meds right now. I have to rein in the peanut gallery."
"Sure you can last that long, shitsta-OOOF!"
Doing as your told, you assume the driver's seat just as Steve begins getting the shit kicked out of him. Sitting up, you can see Calvin gulping down a glass of water, equal parts worry and boredom on his face.
"I know I'm damn sexy, but you don't have to faint at the sight of me. I don't even have my shirt off." Calvin remarks, off-hand.
You briefly consider throwing something else at him, but you wouldn't want to break your master's favorite chair. Besides, you worry that seeing Calvin shirtless may end with you falling into a coma.
You wipe the remaining grogginess from your forced nap from your eyes, and reach for your pills.
"You alright bro? Sorry I interrupted your meds, didn't think you'd plop that early." He assists you by getting another glass of water, and you finally get the pills down.
You know, it speaks volumes about Calvin if he didn't think interrupting somebodies meds, AT A SCHOOL WHERE MOST PEOPLE TAKE MULTIPLE MEDICATIONS, was a very big deal.
What he said, but add a few curse words...
you motherfuckers think youre so greaaa....
You throw your hands up into the air, making a 'fuck this, I'm outta here' gesture, mimicking the situation before the blackoutus-interruptus.
"IZ ALL GOOOOOD!" You yell, practically knocking Calvin over.
"Jesus christ superstar, I don't think the girls dorm heard you!" Calvin yells back, before readjusting himself.
"Anyway, srslybro. Which grade you gonna be working in?"
MOMENT OF TRUTH.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm shooting for the stars, and seeing if a senior looks my way."
"Oh...Well...In that case, you mind giving me some advice? There's this senior named Shizune...?"
Thankfully, the medication silences the voices. Otherwise you'd be in for some disparaging comments right about now.
Pushing the thoughts of murder from your mind that you are suddenly radiating, you decide to do something more devious. It wouldn't do to kill a friend of the Master, even if he deserves it the brittle-dick mothe...
"To be honest, why help her?" You compose yourself to say.
"W-What? I mean, I like her and all...."
Yep, that did it. It's on now. Steve would never, EVER let you live down not harassing him a bit. And, we need vengence for the blackout and being woken up.
"Why? She's a hardass with a human-sized voice box, she'd work you dry and make you jump through rings of fire for her affections. Then maybe she'd wink at you, giving you a vain hope and getting you to do it all over again. All her work done by you, and for what?"
You lie through your teeth, even if every word is practically a physical assault.
"I...Uh..."
Hm, seems like he's not getting it. Time for the nuclear option. I'm sure Master won't mind that he's down a mindless sycophant, anyway. "You know a guy by the name of Kenjamin?"
"...No, why?"
Perfect.
"Go talk to him about any girls you might like. He'll set you straight and point you right, don't worry."
"Ok...Kenjamin...Alright, thanks man, you're a real pal!" Calvin stands up, enthused.
You smile, "No problem. Now get out of here, and get ready for school orientation day."
Calvin nods, and heads out. Your smile turns to an evil grin.
Kenjamin is...well, claims to be the "last sane man in an insane world." That should tip you off that he's a nutter. He's the school's conspiracy theorist de jour, which would be fun in a crazy sort of way if Kenjamin wasn't also swimming in an ocean's worth of misogyny. It stops becoming fun and just turns...sad.
A little itch tells you that you might have done something worse than you realize, but...who cares? One less competitor, if you could even call Calvin that to begin with.
Well anyway, that's taken care of. Now what? It's maybe worth it to catch the remaining amount of sleep you can, but you're not totally sure you want to go back into that mind with the two of them locked in there.
[x] You're a music man at heart. Go talk to the director about joining, since your lazy ass hasn't done it yet.
[x] You're an athlete at heart. Go down the the track and show those freshman who's the Alpha male.
[x] Glory to the academia, let's see what kind of high-brow clubs there are.
[x] Student council all the way. You have the charisma, the ability to delegate all the real work, who's more qualified? Plus, Shizune is Student Council President...
[x] Screw the clubs, look for women.