Because why not. This should be a pretty rapid-fire Quest, because...why not?
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You open your...
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You open your...
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Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
Because why not. This should be a pretty rapid-fire Quest, because...why not?
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You open your eyes. Taking a glance over at the alarm beside your bed, you curse at yourself silently. It's 5:45 AM. You've woken up early, again.
You know, if you get ready now you'll be bright-eyed and bushy tailed for class.
Yeah, then maybe we can go buy a pocket protector, after we fall asleep in our soup at lunch.
Shut up, idiots.
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Someone's at the door. Hope it's not some dick that forgot his festival project.
Pfft, who would do something like that? Especially if they had someone like Shizune as their rep. Ahhh, Shizune...
What is wrong with you? She's a hardass with a human-sized voice box. I feel bad for the poor bastard fluffing her garfield.
You take that back!
Make me, whipping boy.
"HEY DUMBASS, SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR." You hear from the other side of the door. That seemed to shut those two up, for the moment.
It's not long before you wrestle on a shirt and look though your peep-hole. It's Calvin, the Man of Glass. He's about as tough as his title suggests, so much so that you try and look to see how he's banging on your door.
...He's got a purple rubber hammer. Naturally.
Screw him, and his little hammer too! It's not even six yet, we're not supposed to be awake! Go back to bed.
Steve, that's not nice. Open the door, let him in.
It's no wonder we're not getting any, with a wimp like you hanging around Greg.
Well, there's no reason we can't have fun with him...
[x] Side with Steve. You need sleep for good grades. Grades make you popular. Popularity is the key to intimacy, after all.
[x] Greg's right. It could be serious.
[x] Screw it, I'll hide in the bathroom and throw the tissue box at him when he comes in. It'd be like a dodgeball to the face, anyway.
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You open your eyes. Taking a glance over at the alarm beside your bed, you curse at yourself silently. It's 5:45 AM. You've woken up early, again.
You know, if you get ready now you'll be bright-eyed and bushy tailed for class.
Yeah, then maybe we can go buy a pocket protector, after we fall asleep in our soup at lunch.
Shut up, idiots.
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Someone's at the door. Hope it's not some dick that forgot his festival project.
Pfft, who would do something like that? Especially if they had someone like Shizune as their rep. Ahhh, Shizune...
What is wrong with you? She's a hardass with a human-sized voice box. I feel bad for the poor bastard fluffing her garfield.
You take that back!
Make me, whipping boy.
"HEY DUMBASS, SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR." You hear from the other side of the door. That seemed to shut those two up, for the moment.
It's not long before you wrestle on a shirt and look though your peep-hole. It's Calvin, the Man of Glass. He's about as tough as his title suggests, so much so that you try and look to see how he's banging on your door.
...He's got a purple rubber hammer. Naturally.
Screw him, and his little hammer too! It's not even six yet, we're not supposed to be awake! Go back to bed.
Steve, that's not nice. Open the door, let him in.
It's no wonder we're not getting any, with a wimp like you hanging around Greg.
Well, there's no reason we can't have fun with him...
[x] Side with Steve. You need sleep for good grades. Grades make you popular. Popularity is the key to intimacy, after all.
[x] Greg's right. It could be serious.
[x] Screw it, I'll hide in the bathroom and throw the tissue box at him when he comes in. It'd be like a dodgeball to the face, anyway.
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Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
This one's gonna need an index.
PROLOGUE:
You hear a knocking at your door...
Srs Biz
Taking care of "Srs Biz"
Business of another kind
Random encounters
Accents and Company
CLA SH: Stress Explosion
--
PROLOGUE:
You hear a knocking at your door...
Srs Biz
Taking care of "Srs Biz"
Business of another kind
Random encounters
Accents and Company
CLA SH: Stress Explosion
--
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Elle S.
Victim of Isekaitis
- Location
- Canada <3
What I meant was to change it into a softer tone rather than a blinding one.
Still, I think that's good.
Oh I am slain!
Wynaut?
- Location
- Tatooine
[X] Side with Steve.
Steve is a great name, almost as good as Bruce.
Steve is a great name, almost as good as Bruce.
Wait. Do we have memes as our conscience? Or will even more show up later? So far there's just Good Guy Greg and Scumbag Steve, but now I'm half expecting others to appear.
[x] Greg's right. It could be serious.
[x] Greg's right. It could be serious.
Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
It's not quite the meme itself, more like Steve and Greg are the result of what would happen if you applied their characteristics to a person in real life. Then twisted it around a bit.
Other memes may or may not show up. For better or for worse.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
[x] Greg's right. It could be serious.
Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
"Yeah, I'll be decent in a minute!" You say through the door, pulling on some shorts. Looking at the tissue box on your nightstand, you long to launch it at your so-called friend for waking you up so early.
"Door's open." You tell him.
Your dorm is set up so if students wanted/needed to, they could jump right out of bed and be out the door. While that sounds great on paper, there's not a highschooler in existence who won't take a shower before class, because of the small chance of meeting somebody of the opposite sex every day brings.
Blah blah blah, get him in the face!
We're not hitting him.
Whatever, if we end up munching sausages from listening to Greg one too many times, I'll flip.
Steve, don't say stuff like that. It's not PC.
Yeah? Well fuck you. That PC?
Well, technically...
Shh, both of you shut up, he's coming.
Not like he can hear us.
Calvin carefully pushes open the door, expecting a trap. You roll your eyes and hop back onto the bed, relaxing. He relaxes himself and walks over, confident you're not pranking him.
"Man, you look great. I mean, minus the leg braces and the arm braces." You joke.
And his face.
He used to wear those all the time because he thought he'd shatter in a light wind. A few months ago he realized he needed to actually suffer some trauma to break something, so he leaves the braces behind. Usually.
Calvin managed to glare at you though his indignace. "Dude, not funny."
You bite back a laugh at his expense, "Dude, totes."
Calvin rolls his eyes. Normally he isn't this srsbiz, you wonder what's going on.
Maybe he's having girl problems and came to his good friend for advice...?
>Implying there's a girl in the world who would want to go out with him.
...Maybe he's asking where he could get a hooker?
>Implying you could pay somebody enough money to sleep with him.
...I got nothing.
Guys, shut up.
You roll your eyes back at him before hopping onto your bed. It's still early, after all. "Waddya want, anyway?"
Calvin pulls up the only chair in the room, the one to your desk opposite of the bed. "So," He begins.
"You know that we're Juniors this year right?"
No I didn't, thank you for telling me how long I've been in high school. I honestly didn't know.
You give him a look that mirrors Steve's sentiments.
"Anyway, I was thinking I'd try and get a girlfriend this year. So, to make sure I'm not stepping on anybody's toes, I wanted to know which grade you were going to be 'looking into'."
Keyword being try. But he does ask a good question.
Not really. Shizune's a senior, so...
[x] Those Sophomores are lookin' quite fyne, I think I'll try and pick one of them up.
[x] Older women are so much more mature, though. Senior girls all the way.
[x] I'd rather keep it in my own grade, to be honest.
"Door's open." You tell him.
Your dorm is set up so if students wanted/needed to, they could jump right out of bed and be out the door. While that sounds great on paper, there's not a highschooler in existence who won't take a shower before class, because of the small chance of meeting somebody of the opposite sex every day brings.
Blah blah blah, get him in the face!
We're not hitting him.
Whatever, if we end up munching sausages from listening to Greg one too many times, I'll flip.
Steve, don't say stuff like that. It's not PC.
Yeah? Well fuck you. That PC?
Well, technically...
Shh, both of you shut up, he's coming.
Not like he can hear us.
Calvin carefully pushes open the door, expecting a trap. You roll your eyes and hop back onto the bed, relaxing. He relaxes himself and walks over, confident you're not pranking him.
"Man, you look great. I mean, minus the leg braces and the arm braces." You joke.
And his face.
He used to wear those all the time because he thought he'd shatter in a light wind. A few months ago he realized he needed to actually suffer some trauma to break something, so he leaves the braces behind. Usually.
Calvin managed to glare at you though his indignace. "Dude, not funny."
You bite back a laugh at his expense, "Dude, totes."
Calvin rolls his eyes. Normally he isn't this srsbiz, you wonder what's going on.
Maybe he's having girl problems and came to his good friend for advice...?
>Implying there's a girl in the world who would want to go out with him.
...Maybe he's asking where he could get a hooker?
>Implying you could pay somebody enough money to sleep with him.
...I got nothing.
Guys, shut up.
You roll your eyes back at him before hopping onto your bed. It's still early, after all. "Waddya want, anyway?"
Calvin pulls up the only chair in the room, the one to your desk opposite of the bed. "So," He begins.
"You know that we're Juniors this year right?"
No I didn't, thank you for telling me how long I've been in high school. I honestly didn't know.
You give him a look that mirrors Steve's sentiments.
"Anyway, I was thinking I'd try and get a girlfriend this year. So, to make sure I'm not stepping on anybody's toes, I wanted to know which grade you were going to be 'looking into'."
Keyword being try. But he does ask a good question.
Not really. Shizune's a senior, so...
[x] Those Sophomores are lookin' quite fyne, I think I'll try and pick one of them up.
[x] Older women are so much more mature, though. Senior girls all the way.
[x] I'd rather keep it in my own grade, to be honest.
[x] Older women are so much more mature, though. Senior girls all the way.
It's not like the answer matters, this guy won't actually succeed anyway.
It's not like the answer matters, this guy won't actually succeed anyway.
Is this saying that most people are male, or schools are segregated, or just that people don't actually have the courage to introduce themselves to those of the opposite gender?
Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
Two out of two students are suffering from some sort of condition. That's 100%. If that statistic is true for the entire student body, some amount of shyness would makes sense, ja?
Yes. :3
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[x] Older women are so much more mature, though. Senior girls all the way.
Sure, why not?
Sure, why not?
Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
You smirk at your friend. You make a show of tossing your hands up in the air dismissively, before exclaiming, "IZ ALL GOOOOOD."
Your response, instead of raucous laughter, is your vision suddenly blacking out for a second, before being filled with a smoke-like grey. You feel a floating sensation, and briefly panic before you realize what happened.
Oh hell, you're unconcious again.
"It's Calvin's fault. If that asshole would wait to ask us our preference in women during a decent hour of daylight, we wouldn't be here."
"Depends on how you define here. Or we, for that matter. Didn't I fall asleep, anyway?"
You groan. If this isn't hell, then hell literally cannot exist. You're currently within the recesses of your mind, talking to split personalities,
And one of them looks like Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. No points for guessing it's Steve.
Greg looks a bit like...Marcellus Wallace, if you catch the reference. Poor guy probably thinks he looks 'Bishe' or whatever.
"Hey douchenozzle, you gonna say something?"
What do you want, Steve?
"What are you going to say to Cal-Pal?"
Even if Greg's got his sights a bit misaligned, he's got the right idea. We should try and see if we can't find a nice senior girl. Let's face it, once the cat gets out of the bag about our little headspace-timeshare, she's gonna need all the maturity in the world to deal with it.
"Although I'm not liking the disparaging Shizune comments, that seems like a good idea."
"Until you realize they're leaving next year. No point in getting attached to a bitch that'll up and leave us in a year. I'm all for 'experience', but cycling though girls worked pretty well before, and the younger the hotter."
That makes you very angry, and Steve knows that. Don't you, you fucking asshole?
"Woah, wait, what?"
"Our host is being a bitch about me getting us laid Freshman year."
SCREW. YOU. You know damn well that you had to dump-
"Woah, hold on, what the duck is this?"
"Before your time, kid."
Just as you were revving up to grill into that fuckbucket again, the grey haze began to clear. It seems as though you were waking up.
"Or dying."
"Emo."
"Duck you too."
"It's all right, you can swear inside our head, your mum probably isn't going to hear it. She's too busy getting FUCKED, by ME!"
Steve roared in laughter, as you began bristling under your rage. "You'd better watch yourself, asshole. It's only six and I've had about enough of you for the day."
"Pfft, you take me on? You haven't even had your meds yet, 'Master', what happens when you lose and cry yourself though another Nightmare?"
He is fucking dead. "Greg. Take over, and take our meds right now. I have to rein in the peanut gallery."
"Sure you can last that long, shitsta-OOOF!"
Doing as your told, you assume the driver's seat just as Steve begins getting the shit kicked out of him. Sitting up, you can see Calvin gulping down a glass of water, equal parts worry and boredom on his face.
"I know I'm damn sexy, but you don't have to faint at the sight of me. I don't even have my shirt off." Calvin remarks, off-hand.
You briefly consider throwing something else at him, but you wouldn't want to break your master's favorite chair. Besides, you worry that seeing Calvin shirtless may end with you falling into a coma.
You wipe the remaining grogginess from your forced nap from your eyes, and reach for your pills.
"You alright bro? Sorry I interrupted your meds, didn't think you'd plop that early." He assists you by getting another glass of water, and you finally get the pills down.
You know, it speaks volumes about Calvin if he didn't think interrupting somebodies meds, AT A SCHOOL WHERE MOST PEOPLE TAKE MULTIPLE MEDICATIONS, was a very big deal.
What he said, but add a few curse words...
you motherfuckers think youre so greaaa....
You throw your hands up into the air, making a 'fuck this, I'm outta here' gesture, mimicking the situation before the blackoutus-interruptus.
"IZ ALL GOOOOOD!" You yell, practically knocking Calvin over.
"Jesus christ superstar, I don't think the girls dorm heard you!" Calvin yells back, before readjusting himself.
"Anyway, srslybro. Which grade you gonna be working in?"
MOMENT OF TRUTH.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm shooting for the stars, and seeing if a senior looks my way."
"Oh...Well...In that case, you mind giving me some advice? There's this senior named Shizune...?"
Thankfully, the medication silences the voices. Otherwise you'd be in for some disparaging comments right about now.
Pushing the thoughts of murder from your mind that you are suddenly radiating, you decide to do something more devious. It wouldn't do to kill a friend of the Master, even if he deserves it the brittle-dick mothe...
"To be honest, why help her?" You compose yourself to say.
"W-What? I mean, I like her and all...."
Yep, that did it. It's on now. Steve would never, EVER let you live down not harassing him a bit. And, we need vengence for the blackout and being woken up.
"Why? She's a hardass with a human-sized voice box, she'd work you dry and make you jump through rings of fire for her affections. Then maybe she'd wink at you, giving you a vain hope and getting you to do it all over again. All her work done by you, and for what?"
You lie through your teeth, even if every word is practically a physical assault.
"I...Uh..."
Hm, seems like he's not getting it. Time for the nuclear option. I'm sure Master won't mind that he's down a mindless sycophant, anyway. "You know a guy by the name of Kenjamin?"
"...No, why?"
Perfect.
"Go talk to him about any girls you might like. He'll set you straight and point you right, don't worry."
"Ok...Kenjamin...Alright, thanks man, you're a real pal!" Calvin stands up, enthused.
You smile, "No problem. Now get out of here, and get ready for school orientation day."
Calvin nods, and heads out. Your smile turns to an evil grin.
Kenjamin is...well, claims to be the "last sane man in an insane world." That should tip you off that he's a nutter. He's the school's conspiracy theorist de jour, which would be fun in a crazy sort of way if Kenjamin wasn't also swimming in an ocean's worth of misogyny. It stops becoming fun and just turns...sad.
A little itch tells you that you might have done something worse than you realize, but...who cares? One less competitor, if you could even call Calvin that to begin with.
Well anyway, that's taken care of. Now what? It's maybe worth it to catch the remaining amount of sleep you can, but you're not totally sure you want to go back into that mind with the two of them locked in there.
[x] You're a music man at heart. Go talk to the director about joining, since your lazy ass hasn't done it yet.
[x] You're an athlete at heart. Go down the the track and show those freshman who's the Alpha male.
[x] Glory to the academia, let's see what kind of high-brow clubs there are.
[x] Student council all the way. You have the charisma, the ability to delegate all the real work, who's more qualified? Plus, Shizune is Student Council President...
[x] Screw the clubs, look for women.
Your response, instead of raucous laughter, is your vision suddenly blacking out for a second, before being filled with a smoke-like grey. You feel a floating sensation, and briefly panic before you realize what happened.
Oh hell, you're unconcious again.
"It's Calvin's fault. If that asshole would wait to ask us our preference in women during a decent hour of daylight, we wouldn't be here."
"Depends on how you define here. Or we, for that matter. Didn't I fall asleep, anyway?"
You groan. If this isn't hell, then hell literally cannot exist. You're currently within the recesses of your mind, talking to split personalities,
And one of them looks like Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. No points for guessing it's Steve.
Greg looks a bit like...Marcellus Wallace, if you catch the reference. Poor guy probably thinks he looks 'Bishe' or whatever.
"Hey douchenozzle, you gonna say something?"
What do you want, Steve?
"What are you going to say to Cal-Pal?"
Even if Greg's got his sights a bit misaligned, he's got the right idea. We should try and see if we can't find a nice senior girl. Let's face it, once the cat gets out of the bag about our little headspace-timeshare, she's gonna need all the maturity in the world to deal with it.
"Although I'm not liking the disparaging Shizune comments, that seems like a good idea."
"Until you realize they're leaving next year. No point in getting attached to a bitch that'll up and leave us in a year. I'm all for 'experience', but cycling though girls worked pretty well before, and the younger the hotter."
That makes you very angry, and Steve knows that. Don't you, you fucking asshole?
"Woah, wait, what?"
"Our host is being a bitch about me getting us laid Freshman year."
SCREW. YOU. You know damn well that you had to dump-
"Woah, hold on, what the duck is this?"
"Before your time, kid."
Just as you were revving up to grill into that fuckbucket again, the grey haze began to clear. It seems as though you were waking up.
"Or dying."
"Emo."
"Duck you too."
"It's all right, you can swear inside our head, your mum probably isn't going to hear it. She's too busy getting FUCKED, by ME!"
Steve roared in laughter, as you began bristling under your rage. "You'd better watch yourself, asshole. It's only six and I've had about enough of you for the day."
"Pfft, you take me on? You haven't even had your meds yet, 'Master', what happens when you lose and cry yourself though another Nightmare?"
He is fucking dead. "Greg. Take over, and take our meds right now. I have to rein in the peanut gallery."
"Sure you can last that long, shitsta-OOOF!"
Doing as your told, you assume the driver's seat just as Steve begins getting the shit kicked out of him. Sitting up, you can see Calvin gulping down a glass of water, equal parts worry and boredom on his face.
"I know I'm damn sexy, but you don't have to faint at the sight of me. I don't even have my shirt off." Calvin remarks, off-hand.
You briefly consider throwing something else at him, but you wouldn't want to break your master's favorite chair. Besides, you worry that seeing Calvin shirtless may end with you falling into a coma.
You wipe the remaining grogginess from your forced nap from your eyes, and reach for your pills.
"You alright bro? Sorry I interrupted your meds, didn't think you'd plop that early." He assists you by getting another glass of water, and you finally get the pills down.
You know, it speaks volumes about Calvin if he didn't think interrupting somebodies meds, AT A SCHOOL WHERE MOST PEOPLE TAKE MULTIPLE MEDICATIONS, was a very big deal.
What he said, but add a few curse words...
you motherfuckers think youre so greaaa....
You throw your hands up into the air, making a 'fuck this, I'm outta here' gesture, mimicking the situation before the blackoutus-interruptus.
"IZ ALL GOOOOOD!" You yell, practically knocking Calvin over.
"Jesus christ superstar, I don't think the girls dorm heard you!" Calvin yells back, before readjusting himself.
"Anyway, srslybro. Which grade you gonna be working in?"
MOMENT OF TRUTH.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm shooting for the stars, and seeing if a senior looks my way."
"Oh...Well...In that case, you mind giving me some advice? There's this senior named Shizune...?"
Thankfully, the medication silences the voices. Otherwise you'd be in for some disparaging comments right about now.
Pushing the thoughts of murder from your mind that you are suddenly radiating, you decide to do something more devious. It wouldn't do to kill a friend of the Master, even if he deserves it the brittle-dick mothe...
"To be honest, why help her?" You compose yourself to say.
"W-What? I mean, I like her and all...."
Yep, that did it. It's on now. Steve would never, EVER let you live down not harassing him a bit. And, we need vengence for the blackout and being woken up.
"Why? She's a hardass with a human-sized voice box, she'd work you dry and make you jump through rings of fire for her affections. Then maybe she'd wink at you, giving you a vain hope and getting you to do it all over again. All her work done by you, and for what?"
You lie through your teeth, even if every word is practically a physical assault.
"I...Uh..."
Hm, seems like he's not getting it. Time for the nuclear option. I'm sure Master won't mind that he's down a mindless sycophant, anyway. "You know a guy by the name of Kenjamin?"
"...No, why?"
Perfect.
"Go talk to him about any girls you might like. He'll set you straight and point you right, don't worry."
"Ok...Kenjamin...Alright, thanks man, you're a real pal!" Calvin stands up, enthused.
You smile, "No problem. Now get out of here, and get ready for school orientation day."
Calvin nods, and heads out. Your smile turns to an evil grin.
Kenjamin is...well, claims to be the "last sane man in an insane world." That should tip you off that he's a nutter. He's the school's conspiracy theorist de jour, which would be fun in a crazy sort of way if Kenjamin wasn't also swimming in an ocean's worth of misogyny. It stops becoming fun and just turns...sad.
A little itch tells you that you might have done something worse than you realize, but...who cares? One less competitor, if you could even call Calvin that to begin with.
Well anyway, that's taken care of. Now what? It's maybe worth it to catch the remaining amount of sleep you can, but you're not totally sure you want to go back into that mind with the two of them locked in there.
[x] You're a music man at heart. Go talk to the director about joining, since your lazy ass hasn't done it yet.
[x] You're an athlete at heart. Go down the the track and show those freshman who's the Alpha male.
[x] Glory to the academia, let's see what kind of high-brow clubs there are.
[x] Student council all the way. You have the charisma, the ability to delegate all the real work, who's more qualified? Plus, Shizune is Student Council President...
Oh I am slain!
Wynaut?
- Location
- Tatooine
Sadly, I get the feeling that Pixar's upcoming Inside Out movie won't have this quest's tone.
[x] Glory to the academia, let's see what kind of high-brow clubs there are.
I wanna see Steve repeatedly insult nerds. It'll go well on SV.
[x] Glory to the academia, let's see what kind of high-brow clubs there are.
I wanna see Steve repeatedly insult nerds. It'll go well on SV.
Spector29
It Only Gets Worse From Here
Sadly, I get the feeling that Pixar's upcoming Inside Out movie won't have this quest's tone.
I wanna see Steve repeatedly insult nerds. It'll go well on SV.
Considering I'm basing Steve on how a bunch of teenage boys act around each other, I'm suprised a fag insult didn't sneak in my channelling.
Because while that's what boys are like, i doubt that's acceptable.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
People need to check more text.
Also:
[x] Student council all the way. You have the charisma, the ability to delegate all the real work, who's more qualified? Plus, Shizune is Student Council President...
So, anybody else worried we have a suppressed hypermurderous personality?